Triforce! - Triforce! #172: Kong and Godzilla Go Ham

Episode Date: April 14, 2021

Triforce! Episode 172! Pyrion watched that Godzilla vs Kong movie and has a lot to say about it! Basically, they both go ham. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music ...courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:53 Thanks for joining us on another exciting episode of the Triforce podcast. I never thought, I mean, what? It's like 500 episodes now. Six. Yeah. I know. I love this. This is my highlight of the week.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I'm looking forward to telling you. Yeah. All of my, I've written one thing down. to telling you. I've written one thing down. Okay. I've written one thing down. Is it just a single word? Well, yeah, it is. No, it's a single sentence.
Starting point is 00:02:12 People who are cheap. That's what I wrote down. People who are cheap. Misers. People who open up their wallet and moths fly out of it. Is that what you're talking about? Like penny pinching, stingy. Yes, that is. And the reason is, is because I was hanging out with some of my friends.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Wow, we're just getting right into it, eh? Like, no, how are you doing? What's up? We're already complaining about cheap people. Who cares how we're doing? By the time this comes out, how we're doing now won't matter. Easter weekend, just being. Now, Easter weekend, a time when the bunny has hidden things around for people to find
Starting point is 00:02:46 and you have to scavenge around for them. Okay. But this is what I did this weekend was, I won't name these people I hung out with from the office, but they were using this app called Too Good To Go. Okay. There's this thing which I think a lot of takeaway places have done for a while which is when their food's about to go out of date at the end of the day instead of chuck it in the bin they give it to like a homeless charity right or something like that but now and also for some
Starting point is 00:03:14 shops i'm sorry you can't really do that because i'm not sure you know if you're a fucking bistro artisan bakery you can't give away your your 11 pound jar of pate that's going out of date to a fucking homeless guy why not well i guess you can why not fuck it well but instead no instead what you do is you sign up to this app called too good to go where people people can spend like two or three quid on a magic box that's what it's called oh my god uh and it's basically in some places it'll be in some places it's just a random fucking eclectic mix of crap whatever's left over right because for example like a lot of supermarkets are on there and you know the supermarket out of date section everyone has a little glance when they're in the supermarket in case they can
Starting point is 00:03:59 you know well cheap cheap people do um it's always the same few things in those always exactly it's it's tubs of mascarpone cheese yeah it's just it's it's always the same few things in those it's always exactly it's tubs of mascarpone cheese yeah it's just it's it's just shit that nobody else wanted like children's pizzas and now you're the sucker who's gonna buy that shit that nobody else wanted it's and you think you're gonna get a good deal on it as well like sugar-free spotted dick i don't know it's fucking weird shit in there mostly and you're like sugar-free stuff you'd never buy anyway god sign me up i didn't realize that rice crispy squares always seem to be in there like packets for some reason so i guess if you did this this thing from the supermarket they would give you a random
Starting point is 00:04:35 bag of guff from there and i think so what i did was on the weekend you know this these these people were sort of going around to different places and getting these magic boxes of of stuff right and some would have like croissants and tomato soup from like a coffee shop and others would have like um one of them was like had a was um a nine pound uh wheel of sheep's cheese uh and like a ham and cheese uh baguette so it's some stuff that i can't really eat anyway because because of the mystery of it but i i mean it is like a proper it's not really a mystery if you go to a bakery you're probably going to get bread you know but but some places obviously like eat a pita which has been going forever just uses it as an extra place to get free fucking orders do you know what i mean they're just like well you know we've got
Starting point is 00:05:27 gotta make three just the pitas that you make are so dirt cheap anyway do you mean it's like a bit of couscous some sad looking letters some grated carrot that costs nothing um you know so they're selling this thing for more than it probably cost them anyway, even at the Magic Box discount. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting because of the idea of the – I didn't actually hate it. I actually quite enjoyed walking around town, going to these places I'd never been. Get to the juicy bit. Did anybody get fired off the back of this? Because you said you were hanging out with people from the office
Starting point is 00:05:59 and you sound kind of mad. Did you just say, like, fuck, you're fired? You bought the spotted dick and that was the trap and you're out like did you first of all the office it's worth saying the ox cast is like four people now do you mean i'm not like i've slowly been removed from any responsibility and position to be able to fire people i love uh that's a good idea i love how people uh view this as well like every once in a while on stream, they're like, oh, Louis isn't going to pay your wages and stuff.
Starting point is 00:06:29 I guess he's not going to pay my salary. I love people. People assume that I'm some big boss, you know, in charge of things. Yeah. And, you know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. The thing is, I've always been a bit of a cheap ass.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Do you know what I mean? I think that I mean, not not to like the extreme cheapskate guy, but that sort of thing is only like a middle class dumpster diving, right? Basically, people love the thing for free and it kind of legitimizes it. They have to go out and collect it from the place as it's closing, you know, because it gives you like a window of like 15 minutes before the place closes. So you have to go there and pick up whatever's left over and they shove it in a magic bag but some people love doing that they love like taking extra fucking consummate packs from places you know i've been to some
Starting point is 00:07:14 people's houses where they've had a cupboard full of ketchup packets and you're like do you know i mean you're like why why i i they're like whoa why should i ever have to buy a bottle of tomato ketchup the thing is like with us i don't i don't generally do that and i would never really do that but we do that now that we have kids because because they love eating ketchup well no but it's it's like for some reason my kids just love the idea that it comes in this little tiny sachet so if there's extras laying around they take them and then we end up with them sort of thing i'm gonna pull the old um you know i'm a parent i'm too busy to do that kind of stuff card and uh i'm a parent and i'm too busy to do that
Starting point is 00:07:57 kind of stuff uh to go to a store five minutes before it closes just to get like a deal on spotted dick or whatever what's the name of the app again yeah but i gotta say even if i wasn't a parent and i had all the time in the world i would get a life and just find something better to do with my time honestly like i just wouldn't do that again i wouldn't do that it's called too good to go there you go i'm advertising this app for no reason but i i feel like it is a bit eco right because apparently one third of all food is like wasted but at the same time i do cynically get the feeling that some of the places that i went to are literally just making more food to to use this as a secondary app to sell it under the marketing guise of of course people love a
Starting point is 00:08:37 cheap but they're selling it at a knockdown price right i mean yeah but i mean they're already selling it at a massively inflated price i mean they're not gonna give you a box full of stuff what's the benefit to that hey guys with this we can slash our prices and still sell the same product why would you do that companies don't want to slash their prices they want to raise their prices so i don't see it as a as a poor applaud i don't know how much you know the markup on some of this stuff, though, right? Coffee shop's markup on stuff is insane. A coffee shop sandwich is five quid to begin with. Right, however, your business proposal.
Starting point is 00:09:14 You give your magic box of two coffee shop sandwiches for three quid, and suddenly you've still made a quid. Right, but your proposal is saying, hey, guys, we have really high margins at the moment. What if we slashed those margins and gave this stuff away for very little? What business is going to propose if you propose at the boardroom? Johnson, you're fired. Get out of here. You're out. It's probably a volume thing, right?
Starting point is 00:09:36 They probably get a lot of this stuff for cheap anyway. And then, like you said, they massively market up. And it's just a gamble, right? And then because there's trading standards and stuff, and there's certain things that they have to adhere to, like, you know, sell-by dates and all that kind of crap. And it looks bad for them if they're selling something that's, like, on or close to, like, a sell-by or use-by date or whatever. They probably just think, let's, we're still going to make some money off of this
Starting point is 00:10:03 if we just flood it off a little bit cheaper or whatever because either otherwise it's just waste right i don't think people are thinking about it as a viable business model although some shops have always done that like primark have always operated on these razor thin margins you know deliberately to kind of make that part of their thing and every time you go into primark it's fucking i can't believe it's so full of people whenever when i went in this pre-covid obviously but every time i went into primark it was like a fucking covid it was like a nightclub in there i mean it was it was everyone was just packed in like fucking you you know you'd have to like squeeze your way in and like you'd pop out the door one in one out literally um
Starting point is 00:10:43 something that you needed along the way as well it's like yeah um so i don't know i'm not i'm not unhappy with the idea of it i think it's it's it's cool but like and i i like the the it's like it's like filling in a gap you know it's like solving that problem of because people were just dumping stuff in the bins outside what who the real sufferer here is obviously those people who used to go through the bins and get their free sandwiches that way you know those people because they were always like so triumphant whenever you saw them whenever you saw this on tv someone found like a loaf of bread and they were like look at this perfectly good loaf of bread and they were so delighted yeah so i don't know
Starting point is 00:11:25 i guess it also leads on from last week's chat about meal prep you know the kind of frugally eating you know to like avoid expenses oh you know don't don't eat lunch you know you'll save three pound fifty on that meal deal every day so um you know you can put that towards you know cigarettes or whatever people spend their money on 600 pounds a year on coffees when you could save that 600 pounds and buy lube for your butt instead or yeah i think i think everyone should be financially like smart and stuff but some people were just cheap like i remember when we were going on holiday a bunch of us this was before um i started
Starting point is 00:12:05 doing youtube and stuff so i didn't have any money at all um and you know it's always a pain in the ass being that guy who organizes stuff even like when i was in a student house because if you're the guy who pays the landlord the rent you have to get that off all your other housemates right and they they kind of they don't hate you like they hate the landlord, but they hate you a little bit. I mean, don't shoot the messenger, lads. Don't shoot the messenger. You're nagging them for money for the electricity and the council tax and all these other fucking things. Actually, I don't think you have to pay cash.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I can't imagine living in a house where one person was delegated with that responsibility. I think that's bullshit. Well, they would just be corrupted with power. Like, the power corrupts in the end, right? Like if Blizzard storylines taught us anything over the years, it's that there's some fel in all of us and the power can corrupt us. And I think if you give somebody too much power and too much responsibility,
Starting point is 00:12:59 ultimately they will just get up to no good with it. So that's why you should never trust one person to sort out all the electrics and everything in your house. I'm thinking, yeah, first of all, they might keep some of the money. And second of all, everybody just pays in on the same day. And if you don't, you're out. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Wow. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. You don't want to be the guy who's making a mountain out of a molehill, P-Flex. You don't want to be creating arguments. You don't want to be that drama guy. Wait, how is it drama?
Starting point is 00:13:23 P-Flex, you've got no chill, man. You're fucking... No chill? You're telling me I'm going to get kicked out. No chill? Pay the fucking bill. You don't want to be that drama guy. Wait, how is it drama? P-Flex, you've got no chill, man. You're fucking... No chill? You'll get kicked out. No chill? Pay the fucking bill. There you go. No chill?
Starting point is 00:13:31 Question mark? Pay the fucking bill. If you want money, pay it. I'm sorry. That's it. Or you're out. We'll fucking find someone else. It's London.
Starting point is 00:13:38 It's easy to get a fucking house, mate. You can't be asked to pay money. I'm angry. I've never even had a house share like this. I'm livid just thinking about it. It's not that they won't pay. It's that they say they'll pay and then they don't or they forget. But do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:13:50 So when you're organizing this, like even like something simple as like, I don't know, organizing a trip away for like five or six of you or something like this. I remember there was this time when we had like, we were going on holiday and there was like a place and it had like, it was three room place, right? So we were each going to pay, and there were five of us, two couples and one guy on his own. And he would like, so we were like, we just split everything by five, right? And it was okay that he would get like a double room. Okay. So it was like three double rooms. And so it was like 250 quid each or whatever. It's not very much. And he was like actively looking for other people after we'd like booked the holiday and and i was
Starting point is 00:14:29 like what do you mean why are you why are you trying to like find why are you telling everyone about us going oh why are you trying to get someone else to come with you and he was like oh because i can then like i can only i can pay you half if i if i get you know i only pay 125 if i can get a guy to sleep with me in my room and come on holiday with us. I was like, that's not how it works. You can't just sell the... Because then we'll all have to... Then everyone will pay 200 quid instead of 250. I mean, that's how it works.
Starting point is 00:14:56 But he was cheap. I didn't really understand why he was so keen to bring this sixth person until I realised that he thought he'd have to pay half if he did um so people do you know i mean people are so weird sometimes though right than cheap and this i get it like you can you could be reduce your expenses by changing your gas provider and you can fucking bicycle to work and you could you know not buy really expensive clothes i don't know like jeremy you cancel all of your subscriptions there's loads of things you can do um but it's it's it's i just sometimes get so my nerves when people will go out of the way of the
Starting point is 00:15:41 the sensible things and just try and like take advantage of people yeah you know yeah yeah i'm sure i never got all the electricity payments and stuff from people when i was in a student house and it's not because people were taking advantage of me it's just because they were they were like they didn't like me i think they didn't like me after a while and i thought i thought i was being understandable yeah i was gonna say that's the most relatable thing you've said yet oh man um so listen um oh you've got something all right yeah i was just gonna say i took a week off this week after after easter and stuff i was just like you know what my kids are home for like two weeks because they've been back to school since after christmas and stuff and my son is doing like these intensive swimming lessons every
Starting point is 00:16:27 day this week uh at the same time so and uh so on the first day i was like it was on uh it was on tuesday the first one was on tuesday and uh my wife was like oh i gotta take you know kurt to these this swimming lesson i was oh yeah i'm you know You know, and I was thinking, Oh, I'm just going to go and like do whatever. And then, uh, so she took him and I was like, Oh fuck. Um, I can't really leave my like heavily pregnant wife to do this every day this
Starting point is 00:16:52 week. Like it's not, it's not really fair. So I just thought, Oh fuck, I'll just take time off. And it's been nice. I'm in,
Starting point is 00:16:59 I just been like just chilling. It's been really good. Actually. I just, I realized this year, I just haven't really had like any proper like time. Not that like my job is overly stressful or anything. Like I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Like I don't really view it that way sort of thing. But I was just thinking like without COVID, I would have been away a couple of times like over the year, you know, like we would have gone on a vacation. Yeah. I would have been away for work and stuff like that and i just i've just just sort of dawned on me that like i haven't had any time to just sort of relax away from like a life of streaming sort of thing so it's been it's been good it's nice i'll feel nice and refreshed next week when i get back to it and it'll be it'll be great i sort of imagine you like that guy that that gif of that guy sort of stood there with his hands behind his back staring into the distance in nature he just stood by the side of the swimming
Starting point is 00:17:49 pool oh man i bought like a little greenhouse that's uh it needs to like arrive like it comes next week but i bought this little greenhouse just to get started you know my big dream of having like a big fully kitted out greenhouse i just wanted to like baby step into it i want to get a small one see what i can do and then like expand on it sort of thing so i'm pretty excited about that i'm gonna be growing weed i'm not gonna lie to you guys don't tell anybody but um no it'll be nice though it's it's big enough that i can grow like some some it's only a matter of time before maybe some strawberries over there yeah yeah and you know you want to be prepared for for you know you want to as soon as it gets
Starting point is 00:18:30 as soon as it gets legalized get those seeds in yeah i gotta get those those seeds in before there's that get that bud growing yeah get those i uh i did something i haven't done in a while and i rented a movie oh my god this is uh on like like digitally like itunes or something digitally on prime oh nice i i didn't realize how much it was it just said click to rent now and i clicked the button and then i realized it was and then you rented now it was 16 quid so i was a little bit and i i sort of i just sort of clicked without thinking it was kong versus godzilla oh is that the new one? No, I'm a big fan of Godzilla.
Starting point is 00:19:08 Kong can take a leave and love Godzilla. All the new movies have sucked, right? But I had to see this one because I'd seen the trailer. Hang on one second. Are you telling me Pyramid Flax anime hater is a fan of Godzilla? What are you talking about? No, he doesn't hate anime anymore. They made a Dota anime and he watched it and he loved it.
Starting point is 00:19:28 No, no, no. Listen, how on earth is a monster movie with models and anime? What the fuck planet are you on, dude? Godzilla is like this very, very, very Japanese, very classic thing which has been very heavily associated with kind of animations
Starting point is 00:19:44 and graphics. And over the years, it's been going on like 70 years now. I think it's got like 40 or 50 films and like 20 or 30 animes. It's huge. I've never even heard of a Godzilla anime other than the old Godzilla and Godzuki cartoon, Godzilla and Pals, I believe it was called, from the 80s. Oh, no, there's loads of them.
Starting point is 00:20:03 I'm talking about a movie with people and CGI graphics. I'm talking about a fucking cartoon or a comic book. The one with Matthew Broderick? Is that the one you're talking about? This is the one. It's got Stellan Skarsgård or Skellan Skarsgården or however you pronounce his name. Oh, yeah, he's great.
Starting point is 00:20:19 It's got the lass who was in... God, what the fuck was she in? She was in Summer anyway and some other people and right it's it's utter bobbins it's complete bobbins but well i mean i mean the thing the classic thing i heard someone talking about this in the office they were like godzilla is as a terrifying mutant nuclear dinosaur that can is indestructible it's like superman but it has a radioactive beam right and kong is a large monkey well yeah yeah in essence i mean however let's go through the the match-up here so first of all okay okay we'll break down the match i'm gonna first of all there's some
Starting point is 00:20:57 backstory here that they cover now i don't know if this stuff had been covered in the previous like the jack black king kong movie or whatever he was in? I have no idea. Island of Kong? Kong Island? What was that movie with Jack Black where there was like people under the stairs or in the walls or whatever? It was like a magic movie? That one looked pretty fucked up too.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Like Jumanji? What? No, it was like the, I think it had a clock in it or something. I don't know. It's like, I can't remember what it was called. Anyway. Sorry. There's some backstory here that I wasn't aware of.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Kong Skull Island. Kong Skull aware of so i don't know if this film is building on that lore or not i'm gonna i went in blind so i'll tell you what i know the idea is that these are titans these things are called titans godzilla right and and kong they're titans and they've been at war because there can only be one apex titan like the alpha titan like pacific rim i have no idea no like like a pyramid like highlander right right there could be like highland so yeah is for some reason living in a dome on a fake version of his island being watched over by this lass who was in something that i can't remember and a kid and the kid can do sign language because she's deaf she
Starting point is 00:22:03 can do sign language with with kong we find can do sign language with Kong, we find out. Of course, yeah. And King Kong... Of course, because we've seen that. We've seen chimps do sign language. Right, so they put that in there. Did you just call King Kong a chimp? I don't know why he's obsessed with that.
Starting point is 00:22:16 You listen to this, you'll find out King Kong's a fucking badass. Sorry, what monkey is King Kong, then? Is he a gorilla? Yeah, he looks like a big old silverback. He's like Michael Jackson's Bubbles the Monkey. It's like that. Just big. Well, that was a chimp, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:22:31 Yeah, it was a chimp. He's some kind of big gorilla. And they just call him Kong. They don't call him King Kong. They just call him Kong. Not King Kong. I think he's lost the honorific title because he got his ass handed to him by Godzilla a few times. Godzilla's been sleeping.
Starting point is 00:22:47 There's previous battle history. Isn't there like King Ghidorah or something like that? Is that a Godzilla thing too? Or is that something different? Oh my god, you're right. Yes, King Kong vs. Godzilla from 1962. So this is one of the
Starting point is 00:23:02 OG Godzilla battles. Yeah, I think Godzilla has battled just about everything there's a whole series where he's fought they're kind of like who would win right and i imagine there was a whole movie about him just having like uh specifically a lot of trouble with like one really well engineered building like he just couldn't knock that shit down and he was just like the whole it was just a very frustrating movie about him just like trying to think of ways to like knock it down. But it would constantly foil all of his efforts. So I know you're saying that. So just to give you some backstory, these Titans, this guy, Skellen, Sarsen, Skarsgård, he thinks that there's a place called the Hollow Earth, which is another Earth within our Earth.
Starting point is 00:23:42 It's powered by some mystical radioactive energy. Like a flat, a flat earth? Yeah, but inside the earth. Oh, wow. And he's like, King Kong knows the way there. We should follow him. And they drill this big tunnel straight there. But they need to follow Kong to lead them to somewhere where there's some power.
Starting point is 00:23:57 It's very vague. So there's this thing where they had trouble getting there previously. His brother was killed getting there. He hops in this ship that this company called aperture or apex or something have made godzilla's woken up he's smashing up their buildings and they're like everyone's like why is he going after this company because he hasn't seen been seen in three years he turns up exactly there smashes up their site and they're all angry and everything like that so there's these other characters these conspiracy theorist guy who's obsessed that there's some kind of weird technology going on here with
Starting point is 00:24:23 apex and they're obviously trying to do something no good no good with godzilla and kong so essentially they have this little spaceship thing and they go in through this weird tunnel and they turn up in the hollow earth which is somehow lit i don't know where the sun is down there mrs f was very confused i was very confused we're just like what the fuck there's like a whole nother earth down here what's keeping all these plants going there's like flying what the fuck? There's like a whole nother earth down here. What's keeping all these plants going? There's like flying birds and everything in the jungle. And Kong's really happy to be home. And everyone's like, yeah, he's home. Look how happy he is.
Starting point is 00:24:49 He's like running about. And they follow him to this cave. And he puts his hand on this door and pushes open a door. And inside is like this sort of temple. And there's a big old axe in there. This is the axe of his people. Now, first of all, first of all first of all this implies that at some point in the past titans which are basically the ones we know about or godzilla and
Starting point is 00:25:12 king kong were able to construct doors uh which is confusing architecture like quite complex archway based architecture which is also confusing because so far all we've seen from kong and godzilla is they've just fucked shit up or they're sleeping like that's pretty much what they do so at some point in the past
Starting point is 00:25:28 the Titans were building stuff who cares Kong gets his axe he's had his ass handed to him by Godzilla in a fight on a boat now they're gonna have a fight and this time
Starting point is 00:25:35 Kong's got his axe you wanted to know Lewis Godzilla's gonna fucking home kick Kong Kong has almost an opposable thumb he could hold an axe although they don't show
Starting point is 00:25:44 a close up of his hand very clearly he must have an opposable thumb or he could hold an axe. Although they don't show a close-up of his hand. Very clearly, he must have an opposable thumb or he wouldn't be able to hold an axe. Apparently, Kong has an opposable thumb. He can hold an axe. And he charges it up with the power from the underground place. And then, Godzilla... A magic axe, sorry.
Starting point is 00:25:57 A magical axe. A magic axe. Okay, good. Now I understand. I'm actually not so bad. I mean, if Kong was trying to beat him to death with fists, I would have a problem. Right? If he's trying to, like... He's a big lad. He was trying to beat him to death with fists, I would have a problem. Right? If he's trying to, like, chuck him around. He's a big lad.
Starting point is 00:26:09 I know he's big, but he's an indestructible dinosaur. How many times can you chuck it? It's like, it's like judo. I mean, no one's killing each other with judo. Fucking hell. Man, people are definitely killing each other with judo. What are you talking about? Well, only if he chokes him out. no one's
Starting point is 00:26:25 choking no kong's not choking god how do you know that that's that exactly happens in the film there's all kinds of choke holds and throws and stuff it's like an mma it's like yeah it's like wrestling but with they're using every tool in the book everything they've got so then godzilla's sensing that someone's fucking around with the magic axe and all the power he started he's in tokyo at this point fucking shit oh he's in hong kong he's in hong kong he blasts a hole in the earth with his laser beam all the way down to where kong is and the last second kong goes whoa and dives out of the way and now there's a hole leading up to hong kong now get this they're in that center of the earth and kong to get up to hong kong jumps in the hole and he falls all the way up to hong kong do you know
Starting point is 00:27:06 anytime i don't know how this is possible every time i hear about a movie like this i always think about christopher from the sopranos like you know sort of behind the deals with behind the scenes trying to get his big idea for a movie off the ground and stuff and this is the result like this is the movie that he made and it's been um you know mob funded and stuff it's just unbelievable like he literally jumps he's in the center of the earth where gravity is at its strongest jumps in a hole and he has to slow himself down he's falling so fast down this tunnel he has to slow himself down with the axe and i'm thinking did it did they even think about this for like a second? Like you jump in a hole at the center of the earth
Starting point is 00:27:46 and you fall to the surface? What's happening there? So Kong turns up in Hong Kong, has a massive fight with Godzilla. Godzilla's kicking his arse, Lewis. Axe or no axe, Godzilla is stronger than Kong. We can establish that.
Starting point is 00:28:00 But, but, it's close. It's close. It's close. So Godzilla kicks Kong's ass. He's standing over him and he roars in his face. And King Kong is like, all right, fine. I give up. And he's lying there.
Starting point is 00:28:10 And you can tell he does this because he roars and looks sad. So Godzilla stomps around. He's like, yes! Fucking come on. All of a sudden, we find out what Apex had been working on. It's a Mechagodzilla. They built a Mechagodzilla. Of course they did.
Starting point is 00:28:22 We've seen him before Multiple times This thing doesn't fuck about It's super fast It's got lasers and it shoots stuff out of its mouth And its tail is very spiky It's fucking Godzilla up And King Kong is asleep He's like oh I'm so wounded
Starting point is 00:28:37 And the little girl's like oh his heart's stopping So they get their spaceship And Stellan Skarsgård flips a switch Which apparently toggles shock paddle know, shock paddle mode. They restart Kong's heart with the power of this spaceship. And then Kong's back, baby, gets his axe. And him and Godzilla fuck up Mechagodzilla. And then they look at each other and they give a kind of,
Starting point is 00:28:57 we're cool sort of nod. If you can imagine two monsters doing that. And then they both fuck off. And that's the end of the movie. Well, see, this is, to to me it's like Batman vs Superman what do they do after though where do they go
Starting point is 00:29:09 just back to their caves Godzilla goes back into the ocean Godzilla goes back into the ocean and King Kong goes ham
Starting point is 00:29:14 home back to the under goes ham goes ham he goes eat some ham yeah now no one's gonna stop because me and
Starting point is 00:29:20 Godzilla are chill he fucks everything up no he goes back he goes home he goes underground I'd love that he's like keep an eye and just as godzilla's head goes under the water he's like just cracks his knuckles he gets the axe and just swings it at the little girl he's killing everybody yes no one's gonna stop me me and Godzilla are cool now so no he goes spaceship and then he gets
Starting point is 00:29:45 in the spaceship and he fucking flies off to fuck up some other planets he just goes he went back to the went back to the hollow earth
Starting point is 00:29:51 that's it he lives there and he's happy there now eating bananas giant bananas there's a there's a wife or something
Starting point is 00:29:57 I don't know Godzilla's wife King Kong's wife comes out it's like what you been doing all day and he's been
Starting point is 00:30:01 I've been playing with my friend fuck you god he's like the way's on my case. Now I remember why I went to the surface. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Get away from me. Get away from me. There's a bunch of spaghetti in the sink that went cold because he was late back for dinner and stuff. She's all pissed with him. Do you, so the thing that what happened was, I think when Godzilla originally came out, people said it was like this metaphor for nuclear war, right? And it was this kind of terrible destruction
Starting point is 00:30:25 wreaking havoc on japan and you know radiation and all these things and and i never really quite understood that but he was certainly a bad guy to begin with right and at least initially when his his initial moves he was kind of bad but then i think people over time they they love they love seeing him get defeated and so it's hard to like not um have to have to keep bringing him back to beat him so then he becomes the good guy right and i think so he's got like this kind of fight history where he loses in the first three films but then wins or draws basically every movie since and he's got like this kind of fight history where he loses in the first three films, but then wins or draws basically every movie since. And he's lost a couple of times to various bad guys along the way, just as a kind of plot device. But mostly Godzilla is in some way the hero.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Yeah, I mean, I think essentially he's the hero in this in the sense that when these titans turn up who else is going to fight them because the funniest thing to me is they know this shit doesn't work and they're still like launch the fighters and fighter planes are flying towards them and of course it just goes plink plink off his armor and then he just swats him with his tail and some poor lad dies i'm like did they not figure this out also there's a bit where he's fighting in the ocean with Kong. And King Kong is standing on an aircraft carrier because he can't swim very well. Godzilla can swim, no problem.
Starting point is 00:31:50 And Godzilla pops out of the water. Now, we've already established in the previous shot that this water is hella deep. Because Godzilla grabs King Kong and drags him down there to try and choke him out into water. And King Kong finally gets up back upstairs, baths a load of seawater up, and they have a fight on an aircraft carrier.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Now, Godzilla pops out of the water, and he's just chilling in the water. And I'm thinking, he must be treading water like a fucking duck. Like, Kong is just standing on an aircraft carrier, and Godzilla's just stationary in the water. He's not standing on any land. There's no land there. So his little legs must be going like the clappers under the water there. I want to see that. I want to see how Godzilla stays, treads water,
Starting point is 00:32:23 because he's so good at it. Maybe the director's cut will have that footage. Maybe they just thought this is too much. You know, his legs are going like the clappers under there. We got to cut this out. We don't have enough space. There's like an old lady,
Starting point is 00:32:35 like throwing slices of bread out into the Harbor and just hoping for Godzilla snapping them up. You know, maybe that's the hell he got so big, you know, just all these tourists feeding him loaves of bread. God, sometimes you do see that. You just see, like, apparently you're not supposed to feed birds and ducks bread.
Starting point is 00:32:51 You're not meant to feed Godzilla bread. It's very bad for his stomach. I'm not sure what you're supposed to feed. He needs, like, have you got any radiation lying around? Have you got any uranium? So, normally, if you're at a place where there are lots of ducks and birds and there's a cafe, they'll often sell duck food at the cafe,
Starting point is 00:33:09 which is like little floaty, seedy things and stuff like that. Talked about this last week, didn't I? Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I've got it in my mind. It's important.
Starting point is 00:33:17 My God. What? I don't know whether that movie, I don't know whether we're allowed to, it's because it's a new movie and I'm sure we've now spoiled the new movie. If I've spoiled the fucking plot, quote-unquote, of Godzilla vs. Kong,
Starting point is 00:33:30 I'm so sorry. All right, that should cover it. You should be. You should be. There's a special place in hell for people like you, reserved for people like you. It's so dumb. If you're watching it for the plot, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:33:43 I'm glad I spoiled it. There you go. If you were watching it on the edge, you'd see. I just wanted to check. It's so bad. If you're watching it for the plot, fuck you. I'm glad I spoiled it. There you go. If you were watching it on the edge of your seat. Just wanted to check. It's so bad. Nobody saw that coming. Jeez. The plot is so bad.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I didn't watch it for the plot. But all the other Titans were kind of really, I think there's one, they're called like, I think one of them was called Muto, which is like unidentified terrestrial, massive unidentified terrestrial object, you know, and they're just basically big fucking. I mean, Mothra was basically a big moth and there was a big Hydra wasn't there. And they all they all looked like they were made of rubber. And yet somehow none of them are as cool as Godzilla. I wonder if that was part of the design process.
Starting point is 00:34:19 If they designed a bunch of even cooler monsters and they must have been like, you can't put this one in godzilla's the star of the movie right and that's that's how to really win right isn't it doesn't matter whether you're good at fighting it just means if you're cooler because if they'd accidentally designed something for him to fight that was cooler than him that thing would have stuck around right it's gotta be pretty cool but not as cool as godzilla but this is how we've ended up with kong versus godzilla because they're both now too cool well it's like it's like alien versus predator right they were both pretty cool and then they fight against each other oh my god so so really you could have predicted the plot of this thing from right from the start because you know batman and superman
Starting point is 00:35:00 neither of them are actually going to kill the other one right but let me be honest for that movie let me be honest with you if you me be honest with you. If you couldn't predict the plot of Kong vs. Godzilla ahead of time, you're irredeemably thick and you should probably just give up. That's what I'm saying. The whole plot is in the fucking trailer. If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the movie. That's the plot.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Kong fights Godzilla. Kong get axe. Kong fight Mecha Godzilla with Godzilla. It's in the fucking trailer. Now all they need is uh hannibal lecter versus buffalo bill like uh they had they have to like track them down they're both just like kidnapping and murdering like crazy and it's a race against time i don't think buffalo bill is a match for for lecter and we need we need a serial killer that goes with lecter like lecter versus jason right i think lector is like the
Starting point is 00:35:46 ultimate though with the psychological bullshit and everything like you know like freddy jason all like the sort of classic like movie horror monsters are like you know some sort of like possessed demon or whatever but like hannibal lector you know like he'll he'll like wine and dine you and then eat your brains and stuff. You know what I mean? Like, that's crazy. Like you can't you can't you can't see that coming. You know, Jason bursts into your garage while you're like in the middle of the night while you're gaming and he's got the mask on, you know, like what's up sort of thing. But Hannibal Lecter, like, you know, gently knocks on your door and does like that into you like you're like, oh you don't know i wondered if i could borrow some
Starting point is 00:36:26 you know uh you know he won the he won the oscar for best actor for that movie he was on his screen time was like 14 minutes in the whole movie and he was the best actor do you know the um the the books uh it was iconic the books for those movies are all very good as well, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's reading. I mean, well, I'll say this. I loved Red Dragon and I loved Silence of the Lambs, but the other ones got kind of stupid.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Well, Hannibal. Yeah, just kind of stupid. Hannibal was a bit crazy when he basically, well, I won't spoil it, I guess. It is weird. He ends up on an island in a dome and Hannibal fights Jason on an aircraft carrier. They have a big fight and Jason tries to drag Hannibal down underwater. And at one point he's treading so much water and you think, how is Hannibal doing it? Like his legs must have gone like the clappers under there.
Starting point is 00:37:16 But I guess it's a steady diet of fava beans that just give him all the energy he needs to do it. The biggest fava bean in the world from his underground lair using mystical energies. And then he charges it up in a pot. He drops it on Jason. Just cooks it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:37:33 What's that? You're right, though. This is it. We need to find two evil people. Because then at least it's unpredictable. You know, people are going to be like, who does win? You know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:43 And maybe you even leave it open at the end of the movie. don't even reveal who wins you know you just fucking i mean really at least when the titans teamed up at the end godzilla and kong were just like they both just want to go back home like godzilla wants to chill at the bottom of the ocean and kong wants to go sleep on an island like that that's it or you know why did they come up in the first place oh did something wake them someone was like banging know. Someone was banging on there. They might have mentioned it. They might have mentioned it, but who cares? I mean, they're here now, and we could send them home.
Starting point is 00:38:11 They're here now, and we've just got to deal with it. That's the end that we've been dealt, okay? This is life, isn't it? But the maddest thing to me is, yeah, exactly, because everybody's just going about their day. There are still kids in school. They're like, oh, exactly. Because everybody's just going about their day. Like, there are still kids in school. They're like, oh, it's been three years since the last Godzilla attack. I'm thinking, how can you just get on with your life?
Starting point is 00:38:31 Like, just carrying on. At any moment, Godzilla might come out of the ocean. And just level your city. Life finds a way. And you're just like, where's my coffee? I've been waiting five minutes for my coffee. Smashing your city. You think, oh, life is short and I've wasted it. Like that's- how can you- how could anybody just carry on as normal?
Starting point is 00:38:49 And here's the dumbest thing. They're still building skyscrapers! People! Police! People need places to live and work, Flax. I mean, you can't just- Godzilla doesn't give a fuck about that! No, they just keep going! You gotta- you gotta weigh it up, like the risk versus the reward, okay? Godzilla attacks, attacks what once every Like 10 years or something like that I mean that's a lot of high living I think it's madness I just can't believe the planning
Starting point is 00:39:13 The thing is you've got to consider That you know those buildings basically Function as ways for Kong To jump onto Godzilla Right Tactically uses the terrain. They've still got to build skyscrapers in this post-Godzilla
Starting point is 00:39:29 society. I think they should build like a little parkour court. Huge parkour like area for Kong and Godzilla. Why don't they just build like a fake city right? For Godzilla to ravage every time. He ain't gonna fall for that. He ain't thick. He can sense stuff. He senses things. He knew what was up right he sensed
Starting point is 00:39:47 right through that one he knew what was up hey um uh slight slightly uh different subject tangential um because i've had some time off uh i picked up and was playing the new game that came out outriders have you guys uh seen or heard of this i've heard some i had some i had some some pretty bad reviews yeah it's like um it's it's kind of like the division uh destiny mixed together i'd say so it's like okay it's like like a looter shooter with like cover uh kind of like the division you know you're like third person you and you shoot and um and you loot and then you loot yeah there's like like gear similar to like destiny there's like abilities kind of like in destiny it's it's not an amazing game but i mean
Starting point is 00:40:31 i i played through the campaign which was like i don't know like 20 hours or something and um the end game is like you do these expeditions that you increase in difficulty but then you get better loot for them and stuff as well they're like they're they're like time challenges sort of thing so it's like there's like some progression like after the game and stuff and like the story is left open for there to probably be me i i don't know if it's gonna be a sequel or if they're gonna do dlcs or whatever hopefully it's just dlcs um but i don't know but um i i didn't hate it i i you know like i said it's a game that probably should have come out like 15 years ago like it hasn't done anything new i you know like i said it's a game that probably should have come out like 15 years ago like it hasn't done anything new it's just like taking a bunch of existing
Starting point is 00:41:10 games and genres and kind of mix them together and i think it works but like um it's all right if you're bored and you don't have anything else to play it's worth worth playing through it i think it's it's not too bad that's the thing with these triple a games like people really it's crazy they expect them to be really good yeah and they cost a lot yeah yeah and usually they're well this one's really buggy as well there's lots of uh it's it's predominantly a single player game until you get to end game and then there's some emphasis on teaming up to do these harder challenges but it's a always online single player so i had times because it just been released and i think they
Starting point is 00:41:50 were having some problems with their their servers or whatever i had times where literally i was watching a cut scene and then an error message would come up mid cut scene saying you've lost your connection or whatever and you you can't watch the cut scene but you can still hear it in the background as it's disconnecting you from the game wow yeah it's pretty weird on the christmas sale when it's when it's 15 quid i'll probably buy it but but when it's new at 50 quid i'll probably give it a give it a pass but that's kind of how i feel about some stuff like that i really enjoyed doing that with death stranding because i didn't think i'd like it man i love it so i wouldn't pay full price for it,
Starting point is 00:42:25 but I ended up really, really enjoying Death Stranding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't think it was. I keep saying. Because that was the same, right? It had mixed reviews. I would love it if they just sort of left, you know, like a fraction of the team behind
Starting point is 00:42:36 to just keep updating the game. But how awesome would it be if, like, post the story and stuff, they just released some DLCs that made a infinitely replayable uh mail delivery game like using like the world and stuff that you can like build up make easier better for you and you could just do your parcel deliveries and like manage a warehouse and stuff but it's like it's still death stranding it's still the theme it's still like your character
Starting point is 00:43:01 and stuff but you just go on to just you know, do like the mundane mechanical stuff of the game. It's kind of unusual. I mean, that's what they did the Fallout 4, didn't they? Like the workshop DLC and stuff like this. It was quite unusual. It kind of took the game in this odd direction, but actually for some players, it was a really fun thing. Anyway, what were you going to say, Pflex?
Starting point is 00:43:21 I was going to say I've kind of been on a turn-based tactics thing at the yes you played x-com yeah i saw you so i did another full full run on x-com too and finished it and everything on um not legend but the one below that what does that come on oh good that's that's the good one to do it on legend is not worth doing just adds too much time people were like you should do the long war and i did the long war once like not to completion it's ridiculous no i did it it takes it takes four well yeah but geez have you played x-com 2 right yeah yeah right so imagine that but every pod instead of being like three or four lads is like 10 and like there's mission after mission after mission after i honestly think that the game is balanced well enough to just play it normally without having to do that.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I mean, I play with a bunch of mods, but it is very replayable. And chat gets very attached to certain lads who get you out of jail, especially in the end game, like the last 10 or 15 missions that you're doing, your lads are like superheroes and they're sort of pretty much unstoppable.
Starting point is 00:44:24 In that mid-game period when you're just getting towards a good tech and some good skills that's when you start losing lads that are like oh my god oh like i had missions crushing where it was just a wipe like everyone would die and they were all my best guys it's like well this is over and like restart yeah me and ben always used to describe it as like this slope where if you start slipping down the slope you you just can describe it as like this slope where if you start slipping down the slope you you just can't it's this snowball effect where you just you get worse and worse and worse whereas if you can stay on in front yes the losing people and like the and the quality of your gear and stuff you can stay ahead because otherwise it's a cascade failure effect like you
Starting point is 00:45:00 lose a mission and then because of that you don't have the good lads you need to do this next tough mission that comes up and so you lose people there and it's just like we're broke and we're failing missions and now our money's cunted so yeah it gets very difficult there is catch up there is some catch up in the training and stuff and you can fill in gaps in the squad you can recover but my god sometimes it's so so the one thing one tactic game i recommend is um gears tactics i played that last year um it's on xbox oh that looks really good actually yeah and it's worth it's worth it's on pc right it's on pc on it so it's like 50 quid game but it's on xbox xbox game pass which is like a 10 i'm not this is not an
Starting point is 00:45:35 advert for that right it's probably even though it's not a an advert for it it probably is the best value like game pass yeah i wouldn't buy it for 50 quid but i'd sign up for 10 yeah of course so i then i then started playing um phoenix point um which is yes similar to xcom wait is that the one about the attorney like um objection we've had this before i'm sure you had that before we thought that's Wright, Attorney at Law. Phoenix Point is like XCOM. It's designed with Julia Gold, who made the original XCOM. Laser Squad and the original XCOM and Rebel Star Raiders and all that stuff. I played a lot of it when it was early.
Starting point is 00:46:15 I haven't played it in about a year and a half. There's been like three expansions or something for it. Anyway, I'd never played it before. I had it, but I'd never played it. And I got it and I was playing it. And the problem is it's much slower than XCOM. It's much more, there's much more shit to manage than XCOM. The curve is not as obvious.
Starting point is 00:46:35 In XCOM, it's pretty obvious what things you need, what's better and how you're going to progress and you build up your rooms. And they kind of hold your hand a little bit with the plot. They're sort of like, we're going to progress and you build up your rooms and they kind of hold your hand a little bit with the plot. They're sort of like, we're going to need a proving ground to build these knives.
Starting point is 00:46:48 We're going to need a training center to improve this. And they kind of tell you what you're meant to be doing and stuff like that. So it's a little bit sort of like, well, off you go and you've got this huge map
Starting point is 00:46:57 of unexplored stuff and there's a lot more random events that you get and stuff like that. Fucking all this happens inside a courthouse? That's fucking nuts. I know, it's incredible. Holy shit. So mutants have like taken over the planet or something and you've and stuff like that. Fucking all this happens inside a courthouse? That's fucking nuts. I know, it's incredible. So mutants have taken over the planet
Starting point is 00:47:07 or something and you've got to stop them. The thing I liked about Phoenix Point was that you could target specific areas of a monster. Yeah, that's quite cool. So you could shoot its legs off or shoot it in the head or disarm it and stuff. And sometimes
Starting point is 00:47:23 actually those choices will be quite meaningful you think like this thing's going to lob a fucking grenade at me unless I get rid of its grenade launcher and this thing's going to charge me unless I try and slow it down you know and so you do have to make those choices on the fly and I don't know like there were when we played it it was buggy and we found
Starting point is 00:47:40 loads of different ways to kind of break the game which was its own kind of fun yeah but it just it didn't it didn't feel i don't know it just didn't have a very good soul to it but that's the thing is it's not very cinematic like if you think about x-com one of the things that makes x-com so good is that you feel like you're in the middle of an action movie and you're the one directing the action and your characters seem cool and the things that they do look cool and it's it's tense and there's drama and you feel like it's an action sequence playing out. Whereas in Phoenix Point, it feels like a
Starting point is 00:48:10 more methodical, it feels more like a board game and less like an action game, which XCOM is like a tactical action game. Even though there's no real-time action, it lends itself to this idea that, I mean, you get so attached to your dudes because of their sort of superhuman abilities and stuff like this that they pull off some amazing shot or it's like some clutch ability they've got that turns the fight for you. Phoenix Point so far has felt a bit more steady-eddy and kind of stately by comparison.
Starting point is 00:48:37 And some of the enemies, I don't know what they're doing, but they certainly aren't threatening me. Like, I'm sure that's just the early game. But in the early game of XCOM, I always felt concerned about being shot at and I felt like i could lose lads in this i love the little details in xcom as well like i love how you have like squad members from different parts of the world like you have like the scottish guy and when you click him and he's a roger balanced you know like i love all that kind of stuff though just a little the little details
Starting point is 00:49:03 that make it like immersive i mean that kind of thing. Just the little details that make it immersive. That kind of thing is there. There's different voices and customizing your lads and everything. But I don't know. It's just missing that little je ne sais quoi that XCOM 2 has. It is. Then I started playing. I played it for a bit off stream.
Starting point is 00:49:20 And I thought this is going to be shit to stream because it's kind of a little boring. I'll probably finish it. But it is a little boring. Banner Saga, which I'd never played other than like 10 minutes. i've tried to play that a couple of times it's i found that is such it is is such a good game like i'm absolutely loving well there's three of them yeah yeah i kick-started the original one you can get it uh for a tablet like i played it on the plane one time oh i tried to play it on the plane one time i just couldn't concentrate i don't know why like i just couldn't get into it but it was good it's a little bit unforgiving when it is very it was a little bit hard like i i think the setting is for me doesn't click either like i i
Starting point is 00:49:56 feel like having played a lot of x-com like uh you like my turn-based tactical games like i want some guns and stuff you know like future guns and grenades and like you know grenade launchers and stuff like i really like that setting you are fighting these kind of weird ancient robot things though and i get it like yeah i actually i don't know why it didn't click with me like i've tried i've literally tried and failed to play these games through and it wasn't one thing either i just just, I think I just either got bored or just didn't feel invested. I don't know. There's something weird about it.
Starting point is 00:50:30 Have you guys played Evil Genius 2 yet? Have you picked it up? No, it's sitting on my hard drive. You have recommended it. No, you put me on it. I think it's all right. I think it's, I think it needs some patches or some work, honestly. Like, I think it's, I think it needs some patches or some work, honestly. Like, I think
Starting point is 00:50:45 it's pretty good. Like, I think as a successor to a game that came out a long time ago, it feels, it's an evil genius game, you know, like they captured everything really well. I just think some of the mechanics need a little bit of work. It looks quite Tropico, like silly kind of, kind of, you know, like, do you know what I mean? Like you're kind of playing, like Tropico like you're kind of playing like tropicos you're kind of playing this evil not evil but like you know yeah it's a banana republic um it's rogue nuclear state yeah yeah selling weed and stuff although that's the thing you can't do isn't it you can't do any of that stuff in tropico it's all like all the fun stuff is like slightly out the way yeah you can't uh in tropico it's more like you you can like you can make cigars and export them and canned food and stuff,
Starting point is 00:51:28 but no, you don't really get to do any of the other stuff. You don't get to become a cocaine lord. I'm going to pick this up and have a go this week since you've mentioned it. Yeah, let me know what you think. I'm just holding off bothering to play it because I'm just like... I mean, I watched Tom's Vita Vita and I spoke to you about it and I was just kind of like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:49 I played Evil Genius apparently checking Steam back in like 2011 or something. Oh, right, okay. I played it. I quite enjoyed it then, but I looked at it and I was like, it doesn't really look like a huge amount of change. Like, it looks pretty much like the same.
Starting point is 00:52:01 No, I mean, it's more or less that they've changed some bits and pieces, but I think that if that if you you know like say 20 years later what however much time it is before a game comes out i think like they they would have had some time to maybe like rethink or redesign some of the some of the mechanics and i think they have done that with some stuff but for other stuff like the world map uh particularly the the whole system of the world map and minions resources and all that kind of stuff i think that it could have been a bit better like it just doesn't i don't know it just you don't get the satisfaction that i felt like you got from the first game of sending people out into the world and and doing stuff for you
Starting point is 00:52:42 and the whole way that like heat is generated and stuff kind of didn't make much sense either but to be fair this is like fairly early on the game maybe it gets a little bit better i also found the traps a little bit underwhelming too but again maybe they get better later they always were i mean that's the thing that they genuinely always were it's like the best you could do was delay like i think the thing is you feel like what you're meant to be building did you ever play uh dungeon keeper uh no i never played dungeon keeper actually it's i know it's like a classic that everybody's played and loved right well for the overworld is the modern succession that was in the jingle jam bundle so you can you've actually probably owned
Starting point is 00:53:19 that sips already if you um it is fun if you fancy a little sort of silly silly thing it's it's good it is good fun and it's a classic kind of evil genius simulator i think you'd actually enjoy it more because it's it's not it is about what i think you're you're talking about um evil genius too as if the the objective is to build these traps and the base and stuff yeah really the objective is to achieve whatever your evil genius goal is so you just need to delay them long enough for the timers to run down you to complete your goal in the dungeon keeper stuff for that you are actually trying to build an impenetrable sort of dungeon like that's the the thing because the adventurers are going to come in and you're going to have to kill them and you need to have just the right combination of enemies and
Starting point is 00:54:00 traps everything like that so that you can win those those battles i reckon you'd enjoy it more because it seems like more the kind of thing you don't give a shit about you you're the bad guy they're gonna come you just have to get the right stuff get the right traps get the right people i reckon you'd like it so what i've been playing actually almost exclusively over the last couple of weeks has been factorio believe it or not i've ticked over to a thousand hours why not um play that dyson sphere uh program well i did i completed it and i enjoyed it and that what that's what got me back into factorio and so there's a couple of mods factor one of them is this one called c block which is basically sky block in minecraft so you start on a tiny square and then you just have to that pretty cool and you have to kind of build
Starting point is 00:54:45 these like kind of these machines that convert like get small amounts of minerals out of water and you use that and refine that over and over again until you finally get a machine that makes you an iron plate and then so i'm playing it with um a lot of different mods actually one of them is which which you can actually speed up time so it's like it's almost like a speed hack right so if you're if you're waiting for something to happen you can just speed up time and kind of stand there while it you know while it while the factory chunks through all of the backlog but man i've built this ludicrous ludicrous factory the size of which i've never built before wow in factorio yeah i like that have you um have you played much uh satisfactory that might be one with playing as well i'm waiting for the new so they just put a new post on the experimental
Starting point is 00:55:29 for satisfactory for the next tier but i've i own satisfactory on epic and i do much of a cheapskate to buy it on steam because that's the only place you can get the experiment are you serious i refuse to buy satisfactory on a second platform So I'm just waiting for it to, waiting for the official version and I can play that. But I also, in a sense, don't want to get back into Satisfactory because it's such a time sink as well. Oh, it is, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:54 It's basically a really fun, but anyway, I've been watching a lot of documentaries and stuff while I've been playing Factor. I found, sometimes I just want a game that I can play while I'm watching something else, you know, because after recent chats, I've been watching a lot of
Starting point is 00:56:09 the documentaries you guys have been watching and stuff. I watched a documentary called Tickled. Did I tell you about this? It's a good one. It's about these, these people who set up a professional world
Starting point is 00:56:22 tickling championship, right? And it's this, it's this thing that sort of went viral a few years ago. Tickled is amazing. Tickled is amazing. Yes. It's a great documentary about going into... It's the guy who did Dark Tourist.
Starting point is 00:56:33 So he's like the knockoff New Zealand Louis Theroux. Where can I watch this? He's David Ferrier. I rented it on Amazon for about £1.50 after it was recommended to me by someone. In essence, there is a pornographic sub- genre. Yeah, I think I realised it was some sort of fetish thing
Starting point is 00:56:51 pretty early, the tickling thing. It's literally these good-looking young guys being tickled. Well, the thing is, it's not even a fetish for ordinary people. It's a fetish for one guy. It's like one guy has got a tickling fetish and has built a whole industry to satisfy his own fetish i wonder how many times that's been done in history really
Starting point is 00:57:10 so fucking weird it's a great it's a great documentary the weird thing is that you think that's the weirdest thing in the like you think oh my god i want to know more about this there it gets a lot weirder like as they dig into this guy and what he's like and all this stuff, it gets so fucking strange. And it's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. You get completely caught up in this bonkers story and you can see, you almost see the documentary maker
Starting point is 00:57:38 becoming obsessed with finding out what the fuck is this about? What is going on? It's amazing. What's it called? Tickled? Tickled. We definitely spoke about it on a previous podcast. finding out what the fuck is this about like what is going on like it's amazing tickled tickled we definitely spoke about it on a previous podcast uh you've got to watch it anybody's listened to this it is brilliant it is a wonderful documentary i watched um i've been watching some more storyville um stuff like i watched the one about the i think i mentioned about teflon and
Starting point is 00:58:02 the poisoning yeah the rivers and stuff like that yeah yeah and then we watched the one the secrets of the trillion dollar island the one about jersey and the uh the historical uh child abuse stuff at uh hotel agaran we we watched that one which was really good it's strange because like i was it's like on your doorstep yeah i was living here while all that was going on and they were interviewing a lot of the people that i remember seeing on the news like you know like the chief police at the time and they that i'd love it if you were like in the shop oh yeah they interviewed you at the time on the street yeah yeah what do you think of all this well well i was just in my garage i'm just trying this new game called uh evil genius 2 i don't know if you heard um um no it's really it's really good they just the it could have been not good but i i just think that the whole format for
Starting point is 00:58:53 storyville is just uh so good like everything everything that they've they've done is is excellent it's worth worth the watch but um yeah it was just crazy like the the the the summary of it and i think like the the point that they were trying to sort of make with it all and the people that they interviewed like ex-government uh people and stuff from over here is that um they they just instead of believing people's stories or or even showing any interest in helping them out uh all they were worried about was the the island's um reputation international economic reputation um and you know how as a reputation for being a tax haven yeah we will well not just that but there's some and not just that
Starting point is 00:59:38 but like it's you know a place a place where very very big corporations squirrel away a lot of a lot of money uh like apple for example but they found they love they found memos um sort of saying like i think there was like a memo like out of apple at one point that said like oh we need to make sure that like you know the everything is very stable there or else we wouldn't be interested in like having our money there and stuff like that. So there was definitely a lot of pressure for them to just sort of like shut up about all this. They actually picked Ireland, didn't they, as their tax haven Apple did?
Starting point is 01:00:12 Probably, yeah. Because they went through and they kind of spoke to the governments and it felt like they were like, you know, who can give us the best deal? You know, I mean, when you're a company, the biggest company in the world, and you've just sat on billions of dollars, you can kind of go to the head of the state and just be like you know what would you give us a put in your money putting our money here i think what astounds me about that is and i'd love someone to answer this question if you're a country and you have these big companies there and they come to you and say we're not paying any taxes we're not even employing many people here what are you going to do to keep
Starting point is 01:00:43 us here why are these governments falling over themselves to keep those companies there like why are we bending over and saying oh my god amazon yes whatever you want and letting them pay no money how are they holding you hostage i don't know you should be holding them hostage you know but i think that they probably just think that if they help them out somewhere down the road it'll be beneficial to them or whatever it It's moronic. That's what I don't understand. This is the world we live in. I don't understand how they get away with it without bribing people.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Well, here's the thing. You're like, well, once you leave office, don't worry. We'll give you a corporate. Exactly. So there has to be some kind of bribery. But my question is this. Yeah, it is. If you look at America.
Starting point is 01:01:22 But that's like reverse bribery, isn't it? Right. But I saw a chart the other day about the amount of tax that these companies pay amazon of course paid almost zero tax most of these companies in fact get rebates from the government to help them out because they paid no tax it's all clever it's best to avoid all the rest being angry about this stuff be flexed just understanding being exasperated and expecting the world to be fully corrupt. I just have one question,
Starting point is 01:01:47 which I would genuinely like an answer to, is these companies clearly need to do business, otherwise they wouldn't be making money. They need to be able to sell their stuff in your country. Why don't we just say to these companies, and this is like when they say, well, they take their business elsewhere. If we said to Amazon,
Starting point is 01:02:02 either you pay your taxes or you can't trade here anymore, what would be the downside to that for us? can't buy shit i think it's even even simpler than that like i think i think you all you do is you make it you make a company amazon knows how much profit they made in the uk you say you we audit you and say you know you tell us how much you made in the uk and you pay your tax on that that's all we just we want you know tax on the amount of business you got from this country we'll take our offices elsewhere yeah but then you say fine what do you mean well that's what the threat always is is oh we can't lose amazon they employ x number
Starting point is 01:02:34 of people in this country like that's the government's fear is if the companies leave they'll take the jobs but i think then you should say to them fine then you can't trade here you're banned but you know what it's like like the other something else will rise in its place and who are willing to pay the tax exactly so if you if you believe in the free market we have we have to go but maybe they yeah they got too good too good to go is it's just poised ready to take over when it'll be dumpster dinners app in some other they have so that's how you know it's corruption. Because the companies should be begging the government to let them do business there and trade.
Starting point is 01:03:10 The government holds all the cards. They can just fucking boot them out. You're preaching to the converted here, PFLAX. I don't get it. We agree. I don't get it. Maybe we need a political scientist to tell us why we're so stupid.
Starting point is 01:03:21 An economist on the show. That's no. And a legal expert. Anyway, that Storyville episode is... And Godzilla. You watch it if you're interested in that kind of stuff because it touches on some of that stuff as well. It does make me angry, though.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Whereas the tickling one just made me confused and mildly irate. I did watch one about an art heist. It was called something like the $60 million art heist or something. I think it's a BBC documentary. That was a Storyville one as well. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Yeah. About the French guy? Yeah. We have been loving our documentaries. Oh, man. That's all I watch. I just watch documentaries. Well, this is why I've been playing Factorio.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Because I've got this. I keep adding games to this list of things I want to play. But every time I play them, I'm like, I kind of want to be watching something in the background. But what I do is I realize that I'm watching that thing. And it depends how often I'm pa kind of want to be watching something in the background, but I do is I realize that I'm watching that thing And I'm it depends how often I'm pausing it like loop hero is okay because I wouldn't have to pay too much attention So you what you're telling me is you're playing Factorio and you've got a documentary on the other screen and because Factorio doesn't require like Well, this is how I was into Wow and other things right because there's such a FK downtime in
Starting point is 01:04:24 Factorio where you're just kind of like thinking about what you want to do next but you don't you're not in the middle of doing it so you right you can just watch a bit of documentary I guess or it's just so boring like I mean I've got I've got drones now so I can kind of copy paste stuff but it's it's not like um even I want to try the new rim world uh deal i know it's not new anymore but the uh the royalty one like uh i need to get around to trying that as well satisfactory i gotta play again now that there's been so many games yeah there's tons of stuff anyway we're gonna go and play some games uh thank you everyone for listening i do want to shout out that we do still have a patreon um we've we haven't been managing it very well lately because Tom went on holiday and as I said earlier the Yogs only has like four staff
Starting point is 01:05:06 so he went on holiday I forgot about it we didn't post episodes for a few days but we're supposed to and we will be posting episodes on there early to support us and sorry as well sorry about that thank you to people who support us on Patreon for so long we do appreciate that very much
Starting point is 01:05:23 we're going to have a look at it and see whether we want it to continue and whether we can give some special We're going to have a look at it and see whether we want it to continue and whether we can give some special rewards there. We'll have a chat amongst ourselves. And if we can't make it work, we'll shut it down. Because, you know, it was originally a thing where this podcast had no monetization for years. And then this was our-
Starting point is 01:05:36 And also it was originally just a way for us to have those jugs made and sell them. So maybe like- Yes, that was fun. So maybe we should do something like that again to make it worth it. I'm not going to start reading out all made and sell them. So maybe like, uh, yes, that was fun. So maybe we should do something again to make it worth it. I'm not going to start reading out all the names of people. I know you, uh,
Starting point is 01:05:50 some people, some podcasts do that and I hate it, but I do love all of you individually. And I want you to know that I do look at it and I do respond to the messages and see, see people on there. So thank you everyone for supporting there. So yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:03 Also you can, um, you can follow us on Spotify. New episodes come out every Wednesday, as you guys know. So thank you for the support and we will see you next week. See you next week. Bye.

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