Triforce! - Triforce! #187: Pyrion's Yoga Tapes
Episode Date: August 11, 2021Triforce! Episode 187! We've been hate-watching so much junk recently and Pyrion writes his own Yoga tape! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon:Â https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic... Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast.
Good to be back. Good to be back. Thanks very much for inviting me back.
Hello. Hello. And also
Perions here.
I'm always there. And also Perions here.
Like, I'm just fucking hanging around.
You're the third man.
What? I just order...
Is alphabet going on? No, it isn't, is it?
Awkward. Maybe I should be
introducing you second to future. Anyway. Oh, I don't give a shit.
Put me last. I'm happy to be here.
Redo it and do Flax first this time. this is this is the one that's going out all right right uh so so the we
flooded the office this week because of this rain that came down so did it just bust through the
roof is that what you guys are you guys are up a couple of stories i don't understand how your
office floods like i mean my my garage for example is uh half under the ground and i've
never had god forbid i'm touching wood as well i've never had any flooding issues how are you
guys having flooding issues when you're like three store two three stories the water comes from the
sky so they're the first ones hit yeah but like what's collecting so much water like the ground
obviously collects a ton of water if your roof has a funny shape to it or something, and it doesn't run off, it collects.
You got a funny ass shaped roof over there, Lewis?
It's a bucket.
You got a bucket roof.
Someone got a lorry reversing in the background, by the way.
I'm sorry if there's activity in my area.
I live in London.
What am I going to do?
I was just looking around my room thinking there was some alarm going off.
No flooding in his area either.
Yeah, it's the mind your own business alarm, all right?
That's what it is.
Sounds like your houses have been properly constructed, unlike this one.
I've said this before, but the office has, it's a listed building, so it can't have guttering
on the outside.
Listed for what?
Listed as being shit.
It's on the knock this building down list
a lot of things are yeah fucking out and so yeah it's got internal guttering which of course is
the worst idea ever that's called the stairwell as it turns out that's the internal guttering
is the drain internal guttering who thinks of these things yeah cheap cheap people idiots as
well but that sounds harder to do.
It sounds much harder to do.
All you need to do is, like, you know,
make the drain pipes kind of full, right?
But guttering is always half drain pipes, right?
That's the idea of it.
It's like saves money, and it's also outside,
so if it overflows, it doesn't matter.
But they used the half guttering inside of course
and despite us reporting it for multiple years and it flooding the office for multiple years
uh they still haven't replaced it so that's just an example of the cheapness of landlords so here's
a quick question for you did this water did this water affect things like uh computer equipment oh
yeah yeah really so you've lost computers as a result of this
well i mean luckily it happened during the day when we were all in so we were so you're just
sitting there browsing reddit doing the usual and all of a sudden you felt some water below your feet
start to rise i was streaming computers started turning off and sparks started flying away just
floating away why am i in the kitchen
now it's like like winnie winnie the pooh and the big flood episode you remember when like piglets
get stuck in a honey pot and and rabbits like stuck on an armchair and they're floating down
the the river and stuff and winnie the pooh who has constructed an ark for one of every bear yeah
floats away and curses the sinners who have been left behind
he discriminates against donkey so it's donkey so everybody can get on there except for eeyore
that's why there's no donkeys these days that's why there's none who made sure well guess i'm
drowning again guess i'm fucked again extinction for Bear really fucked me in the ass this time.
He's on his boat eating his honey.
Fuck you, Winnie the Pooh.
Bitch.
Tommy, bitch.
Ah, shit.
Oh, man.
So have you guys recovered from said flooding or not really?
You guys still...
Well, P-Flex luckily missed it by a day.
Oh, yeah.
I saw Parry on Twitter covered in water and I was like, man, I left at the right time.
Yeah, he was here in like, are you here from Thursday?
Wednesday to Sunday.
Wednesday to Sunday.
Man, we had a great week together.
I really, really enjoyed hanging out with you guys.
It was like, you know, when you come, we just don't do anything.
We just sit around and sit in an airport.
It's just wasted time. With PF pflax it was like action and we were like we were dancing and shouting and
doing doing karaoke it was amazing it was a full week honestly we did a bunch of stuff like uh
like it was just a lot of fun and i got very drunk um and had a lot had some lovely food and i hardly spent time in my hotel, which to me is always a good sign of a trip.
If I'm spending all this time in my hotel because people are busy or people find me too annoying and don't want to hang out with me,
you think, well, what am I here for?
I could be anywhere.
I'm just in someone else's room right now.
And it just kind of sucks.
But this time, all about it, man.
I was in the office most of the time played a whole bunch
of games hanging out going out for drinks going out for lunch going out for dinner it was great
it was lovely it's like 24-hour entertainment because someone someone you know is gonna be
doing something at some time of day it was kind of like a relay race you know i don't know if
you've been watching any no i do but the um i have you know i would thank you i would get
pflex in the morning i'd hand him over to bed in the afternoon.
Ben would hand him over to, I don't know,
Ravs and Ped for dinner.
Like a troublesome child.
He'd get handed over to Tom and the pub Harry
for the late night.
I am merely the baton.
I'm just carrying me from person to person
and I will bother them.
Like, look, lads, there's a private WhatsApp group.
Someone look after this bald idiot. And you message each other. I'm fucking sick lads, there's a private WhatsApp group. Someone look after this bald idiot,
and you message each other.
I'm fucking sick of him.
It's been half an hour.
Harry, come get him.
Take him to the park.
Give him a run around or something.
Give him some bubble gum and an ice cream,
and he'll be all right.
That was my life there.
Well, I always want people, when they come down,
to be entertained, to be busy,
but there is never that much effort or thought
put into anything as always with the
ox it's always like you know fuck it we'll just wing it and see how it goes it just turned out
luckily i think that that we had stuff to do and we wanted to do and people were around at the right
time and i don't know it was good we had a good week we played lots of little world war ii games
played a couple of board games yeah um rolled some dice shouted at the ceiling in frustration when they didn't
go our way it was great it was top fun it was great yeah so there should be plenty of content
coming out of that as well we recorded a few little things nice um which which and also we
recorded some a scrub dota game oh we did all things first time in we think five years have
you guys in fact i'm gonna look this up on my youtube channel real quick have you guys ever thought of um like uh recording some content like um sort of like uh
like buy you buy an old house and and do it up and do like a time lapse or like you clean a car
like outside and inside but do a time lapse because i've been watching a lot of those videos
and like now i'm i'm into that kind of amazing recently so like i was wondering if like you guys could do some as well so i can watch
there's this there's this channel called like i don't know it's called like mr win update or
something right and there's two like thai or malaysian guys who are just digging in like a
in like a jungle and they dig out like they make this like mayan looking like water park
swimming pool complex wow it's nuts um i'll link you it after this but it's nuts it's like two guys
with these tools that are they're like a uh you know a wallpaper scraper on a stick yeah they use
that to just carve out this hole in the jungle of like which if someone stumbles on it they think it was
like some fucking ancient ruins which it may it may well be you know they just made it for a
youtube video and now it's obviously all gone all horrible because i don't think it had any
they made like a really cool looking water park but i don't think it had any drainage or
any of the practical stuff that it needs right so it's probably just now a stagnant pool
but man oh those youtube videos really get me i just i just love them they're so weirdly or any of the practical stuff that it needs, right? So it's probably just now a stagnant pool.
But man, those YouTube videos really get me.
I just love them.
They're so weirdly... I stumble across them from time to time
because sometimes I'll be watching something
and then I'll fall asleep
and then I'll wake up like an hour later or something
and something random is on.
And it's always like somebody gardening
or somebody doing up a house
or somebody cleaning a car.
Like one of those three things.
I'm not sure you'd want to see me and P-Flax,
like, I don't know, trying to mend a roof.
No, I don't want to do that.
You know, with our shirts off.
No, I mean, if you guys were experienced
and knew what you were doing,
I would want to watch for sure.
But I wouldn't want to watch you blunder around.
It would be a time lapse of like three hours of us like trying to figure out where the ladder
should be googling things and then going up and down the ladder yeah and then drive it to bq
because we didn't have a hammer or whatever that would be the time lapse oh you know speaking of
this actually reminds me of uh clarkson's farm which your recommendation, I have been watching. Now, I
have been really enjoying it.
This is what I said, I know it's
really bad. I don't know why,
but I find it genuinely hilarious
and the supporting cast
are really interesting.
You have done such a 180
on this. I know, because
honestly, I try not to criticise things too much
unless I've at least seen it um so he is absolutely insufferable most of the time and then occasionally you see a
side of him where you think well maybe he's not too bad but then he does things you just think
why why are you so stupid i mean also you realize now i mean i i hate to use the term content
creator yeah you realize that he's playing up to a role yeah but then he also very specifically
obviously doesn't think climate change is a thing doesn't really give a shit about stuff and he just
kind of but then he does things like turn it around and tries to build a nature reserve but
then what he does it is really cat candid and shit so it's just he's as infuriating as it's
possible to be obviously that's part of the charm. But oddly enough, it's not charming.
I don't find him interesting.
Those people that came to his shitty farm shop
that just sold bad potatoes blew my mind.
All those fanboys coming out of the woodwork
to come and meet Clarkson.
But like not building a car park.
You just think, what are you doing?
I mean, I don't know if they're doing it for content
or if he's just actually that belligerently thick.
It's hard to know.
But it is
genuinely an entertaining show yeah i know and fascinating i don't know anything about farming
but i mean the way all the little tricks that they have for the lambing like if one of the lamb if
one of the the the sheep has three yeah one has one you take one of the lambs you roll it in the
afterbirth of the mother that you want to adopt that lamb and then you give it
to her and trick her into thinking it's her lamb even though it's not does that only have two
nipples yeah it works yes so they can only feed two sheep so you need some onesies and they reject
lambs that aren't theirs unless they smell right yeah because right so that's the trick it's just
to get them to smell right at birth at birth birth, yeah. This sheep will adopt a lamb for life.
Well, actually, most animals sort of give up on their kids
after they get to a certain point, right?
They're just like, fuck you.
Now you're competing for the same resources,
and I don't like you anymore.
Exactly.
But so in order to stop the new lamb running back to its old mother,
because they're not very bright, you know,
they tie its legs together.
And I was like, this is genius.
This is absolute genius.
Jesus Christ.
It's not genius.
No, that's like...
It's something.
The whole thing sounds not very bright, actually.
It's genius.
It's just crazy.
In order to castrate the lambs that are boys,
so they don't start all having sex with each other as soon as possible,
they put a rubber band around their bollocks. they just because the blood supply is not there they just
drop off after a couple of days fuck me man i was like this is this is so it's like a a mad genius
has concocted this stuff but it's obviously incredibly old techniques yeah yeah i was like
this is incredible it really so it really was something and the machines so many machines oh my god there's
a machine for everything and it's generally you've seen in the news recently that farmers like people
are breaking into farms to steal like uh really valuable gps equipment and stuff oh yeah i'm sure
like you said machines but man like there's there's the all of that stuff costs so much money
and and now people are finally catching
on to the fact that like hey hang on a second these guys just leave these things laying you
know in in an open field and all they do is just like lock the door yeah it's it's crazy and i mean
that generally speaking the farmhouse is not like next to where the equipment is kept of course not
it's like so or not right next to so it's like having
a large estate and someone busts in and steals a gps from your tracks so far so farmers get
fucked again because not only do they have to pony up for all this expensive farming equipment
now they're gonna have to have these like state-of-the-art security systems and cameras
and shit to guard all of their expensive equipment and also the uh i mean i knew that the the weather was a big
factor when it came to farming obviously it's going to be if you have a very wet season when
you want to be planting that's no good if it's then bone dry you know and there's no water for
the plants that's no good and everything but the thing is it's the timing issues it's like they
have to plant it in this two week period yeah or they are fucked so if something gets nicked it's
not like they can just say oh we'll get it back on insurance because that might mean they then can't plant that field and that's
going to cost them a fortune well yeah and and it's not they're not planting like five plants
this is like uh like an entire oh yeah field worth of stuff like you said tens of thousands
it has to be very organized it has to be uh planned out properly and it's amazing yeah they
have a machine
if you have a let's say he has a plastic pipe he wants to run from one end of a field to the other
i love how excited you are about all this there's a machine you put this reel of plastic hose on the
back of the machine you put the end through this little spigotty thing and then it's got this
machine that digs a trench pushes the pipe into it and then closes the hole back over it yeah i
mean have you not seen how they harvest all these plants in the harvesting season?
Clearly not.
Oh, my God, man.
It'll blow your mind.
It's insane.
Like, you have to see these machines at work.
They're nuts.
It's incredible that they've been designed because they're so specific, right?
You can't use them for anything else.
Exactly.
It's just for this one specific job
you know like like like sugar beets have to be harvested one particular way and like potatoes
have to be harvested one particular way so there's like a machine for everything it's like it's so
expensive it's insane like i guess that's why like you always hear saying like oh farmers uh they
can't make any money like oh the corporation is buying up all these fields to plant corn and stuff you know what i mean like it's like it's impossible for them to keep up now
it's unbelievable the challenges are unbelievable yeah it's really bad yeah and then also just the
restrictions and stuff like that's the thing is like he's one of these people who thinks health
and safety is like a joke yeah um which really pisses me off because it's super important to
have that stuff like
anytime you think you like do you remember if this was about 20 episodes ago we were talking
about all these disasters i was talking about these disasters and it was like somewhere in
indonesia or something there was some ship a ferry boat that was like massively overloaded
now in clarkson's world and people like him that's fine just get on the boat you can swim
oh yeah he's an entitled and privileged
privileged individual he doesn't have to uh to ever sort of um compromise it's never happened
to him yeah it's never happened to him it hasn't happened to anybody yeah but he has a very big
voice and what annoys me is that when someone like that has that platform and they're literally
saying fuck it if you fall in the fire pit because we didn't do it properly, that's on you.
Don't fall in fire.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah.
It's just little things like that, like that really grinds my gears while I'm watching
the show and kind of detracts from it.
But honestly, learning about farming and seeing the improvements and seeing him learning what
the fuck is going on.
And honestly, the guy, Caleb, that works with them is fucking awesome.
So yeah, it's a really good show.
I actually do recommend it, which surprises me.
A lot of people off the back of us talking about Clarkson recently have been asking like,
you know, where does this hatred for Clarkson come from?
Flax just explained it.
If you're ever wondering, he's just ignorant.
I get it.
He's probably pretty funny as an entertainer or whatever sometimes or whatever.
But if you've ever read anything that he's written or taken any of his views or anything,
read about them outside of his persona
or maybe it's part of his persona,
he's just an ignorant asshole.
Yeah, I mean, you can be funny
and a bigoted, ignorant cunt.
Those things are not, like, mutually exclusive.
Do you know what I mean?
And I think you could present one front
on your very highly edited TV show
that's deliberately for a comedy audience,
and you could present another front elsewhere.
It's just because, again, it's the idea of the internet.
People see us being funny on the internet, and they think that's who we are.
I'm not funny at all.
Nobody likes me.
You meet me in the street.
I'm just a dick. I'll just be like, no, I'm too famous. Get out of my way. Yeah. Like I meet me in the street. I'll just, you know, I'm just a dick.
I'll just be like, no, I'm too famous.
Get out my way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
Like that's the point I'm at right now.
Like in my life, you know, I'm too important in my own lunchtime to waste time talking
to anybody.
There is just, there is a sliding scale there.
I think some people are exactly like what they're like online and some people aren't, know i think that if you catch me a bad time of day maybe i might be short with
you i hope i am not but you know i i'm i'm saying that you know you i think i think carlson is is a
particular example of someone who is clearly unapologetic for his out-of-date views in a sense
i just think he,
you could sum him up as saying he tells it like it is,
which is like something that a lot of people say,
Oh,
I just tell it like it is.
But what you mean is you are,
you tell it like it is for you,
which is not realistic at all.
And yeah,
it's completely,
you tell it like it was,
or like you wish it was,
I think.
Yeah.
But it's, it's a, yeah but it's it's uh yeah
he's just he's a very divisive figure uh but oddly enough i do quite enjoy the show also that lad has
a gut on him my goodness like the rest of them is fairly skinny and then he's just got this orb
like classic middle age like he's not that much older than me he's in his 50s are you serious
man i thought he was like pushing 70 years older than you he's 67 i thought he that much older than me. He's in his 50s. Are you serious? Man, I thought he was like pushing 70.
He is older than you.
He's 67.
I thought he was much older.
I thought he was much older.
No, I don't think he is.
I think he mentioned how old he was.
I thought he was 56, but maybe he was lying.
So he, all right, he's 61.
He's only 16 years older than me.
That's not long.
That is.
That could be me in 16 years.
That is a long, that's a lot of time, Flax.
Your body will undergo some changes in the next 16 years i'm
telling you 16 years is nothing it'll be upon me in no time gravity pulls all the stuff down exactly
you know yeah you know that six-pack will become that gut you know very just it just
i just i looked at that and i thought christ that could be me like in a decade i'll just have the
clocks and bulge i don't want that i don't want it well a decade, I'll just have the clocks and bulge. I don't want that.
I don't want it.
Well, you're working hard on the old gym.
How's that going?
Did you go to the gym when you were down here?
Did you use the hotel gym? I was going to, but I was too hungover.
I was too hungover, so I did.
It was a messy one on Wednesday and Thursday.
That's the trap.
That's the trap you fall into.
Hotel gyms are this thing which I always was like,
oh, there's a gym.
I might go in the gym.
Of course, I don't think I've ever been in a hotel gym ever.
I'm like that with hotel pools.
I'm always like, oh, I can't wait.
There's a pool.
I'm just going to go for a dip.
I never do.
No.
I told my trainer I'd gone down and basically drunk my ass off for like five days.
And he was like, well, let's get to work.
And that was the Monday was punishingly hard. Like I thought I thought i was gonna pass out but then we were back on it wednesday was
fine and i'm in on friday so yeah i've been uh i've been watching this uh really interesting
documentary uh called philly da it's like a eight part series about a um a guy who becomes the district attorney of philadelphia oh wow but he's he's progressive
and uh when he enters office he promptly fires like uh 30 um attorneys from the office that
have been there for like the longest time he just does like this big clear house and he's coming in
saying stuff like uh why are we looking into people that are, you know,
being pulled over with three grams of marijuana on them?
Why are we, you know, why are we doing,
pursuing like cash bails
because it's like unfair against poor people?
You know, why are people still seeking the death penalty?
I don't think it's a good idea and stuff.
And so the whole series is just kind of like
them following him around in this new his newly elected position and everybody hating him basically
because he's too different and and wants to change things right too much and there's a lot of people
that have been in the office for a long time who yeah've got all those alliances and stuff. Yeah, yeah. And one that he really struggles with is the fraternity of police,
which is kind of like a union for police officers who hate him
and will just do anything they can to make him look bad,
to question his policies and stuff
and rally all of these police and ex-policemen.
A lot of their funding comes from retired policemen.
So like old dinosaurs who want things to stay
the same way they've always been.
Does it feel sort of gritty like The Wire?
Because it's like a documentary, right?
It's a documentary.
It's an actual documentary.
It doesn't feel gritty like The Wire in that,
I mean, there's a documentary it feels um it doesn't feel gritty like the wire in that i mean
there's a lot of like it there's there's lots of like different sort of threads in it you know like
there's there's the the people that work there that are um you can tell they're just on their
way out you know they're they're they're they don't agree waiting for the pension with that
with what's happening and they're just oh you mean they're gonna constructive and uh they're either going to get fired or they just inevitably resign because they don't like how things are going, which is interesting.
And then there's a bunch of, like, cases.
Because this is all from, like, 2017.
So, like, he's elected in 2017 for, like, what is it, four years or whatever.
And then he can seek re-election in 2021 which he he did this
year um but the the scope of the documentary is like 2017 to 2021 like his his his first term if
you like sort of thing but yeah it's super interesting like it it's all it's all very if
you like like stuff about american justice and and and whatnot it's uh it's really interesting
and again he's he's he's like a civil rights
lawyer for like 30 years in the city uh and then just thought he's he's just had enough of dealing
with this like antiquated da's office and just decided well i'm just going to try to become the
da and then won wow yeah but he won off the back of like a lot of communities who who were sick of
of the death penalty um and especially in because in pennsylvania sick of the death penalty.
And especially because in Pennsylvania, they have the death penalty,
but it hasn't been acted upon since the 60s. So there's people sitting on death row with no chance of ever being even executed.
But the problem is when they're sitting on death row,
they have a right to appeal, which they do all the time.
And so the families of the victims and stuff are dragged back to court constantly for these appeals that are always denied because they're already on death row or whatever.
But it's also happening that like six or seven cases were disproved by DNA.
And so people that had been sitting on death row for years and years and years are then all of a sudden released because they were wrongly imprisoned in the you know what i mean it's just like it's the
same old but it's super interesting uh how convoluted their system is and like sometimes
it feels just super broken i like i don't understand how any of it even even works half
the time um there's a lot of focus on like the juvenile division in the in the in in
the thing where and again a point for his for him running was that they're they don't want uh
juveniles being put into placements because it just creates more problems you know like it it's
institutionalizing kids at a young age to then become worse you know what i mean like it's
separating them from their families uh they end up being placed in these places all over the state that are far away you know like
they sort of make the point at one point they're like you might as well just like send them to
canada or something you know like they're just so far away from home and everything that they know
that it's just like you know it's it's no good sort of thing so So what is it called? Philadelphia PA. It's just called Philly DA.
Yeah.
It's a,
it's,
you can get it on,
uh,
it's all eight episodes are on,
uh,
on,
on BBC four on iPlayer.
Oh,
cool.
It's a Storyville documentary.
It's really,
really good.
I love Storyville.
It's really,
really good.
I was trying to watch one about,
about a fire in a Romanian nightclub.
And it was so real in the first 10 minutes I had to stop watching it.
Because they actually showed footage of the fire breaking out, and they're on stage and
they have some fucking pyrotechnics display, and the fucking ceiling catches fire, and
the whole place goes up, and you're just in the place.
Like, the camera shot is from inside the club while it's burning, and I was like, I'm done.
I can't stand this.
This is too real.
I am out.
Yeah.
It was horrible. I know I bang on a lot about storyville but honestly their documentaries oh it's they're
incredible they're so good yeah they're they're amongst the best for sure so if you like watching
uh like uh documentaries and real life stuff i i highly recommend it but yeah this philly da um
like mini series or whatever is is totally worth as well. It's really interesting. Do you reckon that because of the whole pandemic thing,
that a lot of shows that were cut or they had footage for,
and, you know, they were ready to go and then they decided to drop them,
that they went and rolled those out because they were like,
we can't make new content.
Let's go and look at what we've got that we never used and make a show out of that.
How many shows do you reckon have come around from that?
Hmm.
Hmm. Interesting question. we have no answers as i'm browsing anime he is actually browsing anime look he can't even formulate one can you report that can you just
can you just can you just repeat that again what's this uh death note season five
no i'm not gonna repeat my, Flex. Can you repeat the question?
I'm not going to repeat my question.
I was tapped out.
I thought you were talking to Sid.
You should pay attention.
This is a three-person podcast.
You piece of shit taking a break.
It's one hour a week, and you can't pay attention.
Sorry, can you just repeat that question?
No.
Do you know what this reminds me of? He feels so bad now.
He feels so bad.
I was watching a TikTok the other day,
and it has a speeded- up rap in it that goes,
Yamagamagoo, yamamamab's just this and i think everybody's heard this all
these kids are gonna make this if they know this little tune i'm sure people listening to the
podcast now will know exactly what i'm talking about even if some of you don't what's it called
yamagamago no it's not but if you google it if you google yamagamagu it will bring you to that song
because when i hear a song and i don't i don't i can't use uh what's it called i was i was gonna
say shenanay but it's not it's shazam when you use shazam to get the song you know you shazam it
and it listens to a bit of the song and says, this is the song. It can hear, listen to like one note and it knows sometimes it's crazy.
So it's not a song.
It's just like a little weird meme that someone made.
But this song is everywhere.
Millions of people have heard this.
Millions and millions of people have heard this little yammy yammy goo.
But the person that made it, I don't know who they were.
They're not going to get any money from that.
It's just this bit of music that they dropped out there that people like.
Is that the future of music that people just want to hear five to six seconds santa shabba shabba gooper like a meepo
what is that the name of the song yeah that's the name of the song is it a full song hey listen
shabba dabba gooper like me yes a full song it's like two minutes long maybe you guys are aware i
was i mentioned this to some uh some other uh some other people earlier in the week.
I am not overly aware of who Billie Eilish is.
And there was like a show on.
It was kind of like a documentary about her or whatever and the and it was like um it was meant to be this like intimate sort of like you know uh deep dive into into this person who i'd fucking 12 year old really
thrilling yeah she's got so much to talk about but yeah but they're like she's like the like the the
the the biggest artist right now or like the highest highest grossing high selling something
artist and i was just like who i i've never felt so out
of touch in my life like i'd never even seen this person i'd never even heard any of the songs
nothing like i don't know how i've managed to insulate my dad garage so well against pop culture
like in this one case constantly about how you basically live in your garage and never leave
and don't listen to anything.
No, I know, but still some stuff leaks in, you know, like your Yamagamagoo sometimes and memes and whatever.
Like the Yog's offices.
How did you find out about Philly DA? Who told you about this show?
Because it's on PBS, right?
It's on iPlayer.
It's on iPlayer.
It's on...
Oh, it's on BBC iPlayer.
It's on iPlayer because it's Storyville, so it's on it's on uh oh it's on bbc it's on iplayer because it's a it's a storyville so it's on it's
on bbc bbc4 i just wondered if you had like some some recommender guy somewhere giving you no no
no i think my wife came across it she was like uh you know because because the baby like we're both
at odd hours just you know browsing the internet like in the middle of the night or whatever it is
really alluring when you reach a certain age to watch that stuff but but i have been watching the the normal common crap
i watched a german horror movie on netflix which was number one on netflix for like a whole week
and i was like okay i'm just gonna watch it just to see what it's about and it's like uh it's
vampires on a plane right um it's like die, except instead of bald, what's his face?
Why are you going to jump to that?
He's not an action hero or a cop for you.
He's just bald.
Bald guy.
Instead of, what's his name?
Bruce Willis.
The man is a legend.
I know.
He doesn't do anything anymore, though, does he?
Oh, he's in all kinds of shit now.
Bruce.
Loads of crap.
He's in stuff.
Really?
He's not good, though. He's not a proper actor really is he he's sort of because he's
because he's bald lewis because he's bald he's a gormless face this is just pushing his bald
agenda again you know like the fraternity of bald guys you know he they defend each other
the first yeah we should fire all the bald guys out of the Philly DA.
That bald guy.
That bald guy.
Scum.
You guys are scum.
Got rid of 31 bald prosecutors. Yeah, we cleaned the house.
We got rid of all the baldies.
All the Q-Balls are out.
This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
Hey, well, speaking of, like, normal television,
I've been watching with my wife, which I never thought in a million years I would watch.
And I kind of hate watch it as well.
But no, it's not a soap.
It's it's married at first sight.
Australia edition of all things.
And it's wild.
It's wild.
I've never seen anything like it.
It's just, you know, these people are
all in their 30s and stuff. And they've had to go on a show and marry somebody that they only just
met as part of the show. And my and the entire time I'm thinking, I'm not surprised these people
never got married. I'm not surprised these people don't have relationships. I'm not surprised that
like these people are so lonely and stuff. And they've had to come on a show and get married to somebody like artificially or whatever because they're all
uh like crying man children like uh the the women and the men uh alike they've i don't think that
they've matured past the age of 12 in any case they're all so stunted it's unbelievable like
they're just they're like the deer deers
in the headlights when it comes to like some of them have never had partners before some of them
never even had sex before like or you know or any sort of sexual encounter before and it's just like
watching kids but they're all in their 30s it's it's insane and the things that they fight in the world i know and they hold jobs
and stuff too it blows my mind the plane that you're on you could be on the plane i know get
them out of my cockpit i don't want them in there they're not a safe pair of hands oh it's crazy
it's it's a real eye-opener it comes from from a Danish theory, so apparently it started in Denmark.
I'm disappointed in Scandinavia.
How do they find these people?
I guess they just present themselves willingly to be on TV or whatever.
Does the show show them meeting for the first time?
They don't seem, like at first glance, you're kind of like, oh yeah, whatever.
They just seem like normal people. But but man looks can be really deceiving and in this show's case uh ultimately just uh
wildly deceiving because these people are just not on the they just don't live on this planet
i don't think or not in this reality like they're they are so fucking stunted it's crazy like it's
just it's interesting to watch but like i i i like
watching it because it's so hateful to watch if that makes sense you know like uh this notion of
hate watching oh man you know apparently people do this with streams and everything but like oh god
i've decided that this show is my my hate watch there's a lot of there's a lot of tv shows like
that that i see as well popping up on
like amazon stuff that is very similar in vibe i think one of them oh god what was it called
it was something along the lines of of what you just mentioned i can't remember i'll dig it up
hang on he's digging i just want to say as well like i'm not i'm no one to judge somebody's
maturity or whatever and i'm not i'm not talking
about just general maturity or like you know somebody you know making a joke or whatever i'm
talking about people with like little to no life skills whatsoever in their 30s like that that
it's it's it's incredible like it's just i i don't get it and the stuff like again that they fight
about and like the differences that they have with each other and stuff is it blows my mind and also who the fuck did i marry oh sorry no who the
who the bleep did i marry is the show i've been keep getting recommended yeah at the root of all
this it's like what are your expectations for being married to somebody that you don't know
at all you've known this person maybe for two minutes like your first encounter with
them is you getting married to them like it's my my mind explodes every time i know it's i know
it's tv hello had always wanted the perfect family after marrying policeman jeff she felt like her
dreams had come true right but when jeff becomes the main suspect in a serial rapist case, a shocked Ricky Lee stands by his claims of innocence.
Oh, my Lord.
Yeah, so that's the show.
Who the fuck did I marry?
Who the bleep did I marry?
Who the bleep did I marry?
Who the cripes did I marry?
Okay, but the lead up to who the cripes did I marry,
are these people that met each other under some normal circumstances?
Or is it like a hookup show?
Like, is it like a married at first sight sort of thing?
No, I think it's just people who like, you know.
They meet at work or at school or whatever.
Yeah.
And then they get married.
No.
Ana Margarita Martinez, a Cuban exile living in Miami,
was always taught the importance of finding a good Cuban husband.
When she met Juan Pablo Roque, she thought she had found her perfect mate.
But it turns out Juan Pablo had been using his marriage as a cover
while he secretly worked as a Cuban government spy.
Oh, my God. Juanan how could you do this
who the bleep have i married i went i watched the thing the other day about um this girl
she was in ibiza with a mate of hers this was a bbc thing oh the drug smuggler the irish one drug
the drug the drug mule yeah now i joined this about three or four episodes in.
Mrs. F caught me up.
This is after I'd come back, I think, from Bristol.
She was watching it.
And she ends up in Peruvian prison.
Yeah.
And the funniest part was that they say to her,
get on this plane with these drugs.
You're just going to fly to...
No, no, they tell her you're going to fly to Spain.
They'll give you the drugs there,
and then you're going to fly back to Ibiza.
She was like, okay. So she gets on this this plane and when they announce where they're going they're
going to lima in peru and she turns to the other passengers she's like where's where's lima where
where's peru and they're like it's in south america and she she only notices after seeing
the big line on the map that shows like that huge line leading to where you're going it's like god
knows how long that flight is.
Probably like a 12 hour flight.
Yeah.
Now she's an adult.
She's in the airport and she doesn't realize she's going to Peru and South America and
therefore not Spain and doesn't walk away because she doesn't know where it is.
How hard is it for an adult to board a flight, not realize where it's going, not know where
Peru is,
and still claim sympathy from the audience.
I'm like, you're a fucking moron.
You've been doing cocaine for months in Ibiza.
Some guy you don't know urges you to fly
and pick up drugs from another part of the world
and then fly them back in.
That's a drug mule.
You're basically the frontline troops.
They do not give a shit about you.
They will even fill the flight with people with drugs and then tip off the police about a couple of them
so that they're busy arresting and imprisoning you while the rest of the mules walk through
customs that's how that works god what the fuck are you thinking yeah but the whole after it was
all the drugs were hidden in like crisp packets and stuff like it was it was just moronic
yeah i know it wasn't like it wasn't like she was stashing them like in her ass or or any of like
the clever ways of of mulling drugs it was just like bread bags yeah literally shoved in a bag
just drugs in a bag yeah but what gets me is that upon realizing like how do you get like when you're
in the airport they're constantly telling you about your flight boarding to lima she just thought
lima that sounds weird i thought i was going to barcelona oh well must be another thing in spain
like i'm just fucking stupid she's been living in ibiza for months she doesn't speak any spanish
so when she winds up in this prison in lima which has a beauty salon in, by the way, that's how she wins over the other women is by being a beautician.
They're like, oh, she's all right, actually.
It was just nuts.
But she had this kind of I did it and I survived.
And I was like, you're a fucking idiot.
I wanted the ending to be she's still in prison where she they let her out, but she can't find the door.
That's what I thought the ending of the show was going to be.
Good God. they let her out but she can't find the door that's what i thought the ending of the show was gonna be good god they let her out and she tried to make it back to ireland but she ended up
in argentina after a series of missed flights missed and wrong flights i was just furious
watching it that was a hate watch because i was like why are we celebrating her release she's a
fucking drug smuggler and an idiot i just oh come on yeah my wife uh watched
i didn't watch i saw bits of it but i didn't watch uh the whole thing but it was it was funny yeah
it looked it looked interesting for sure man i do respect the kind of like madness of these people
who uh feel like i've said this before but i feel like the main characters in the world,
where they have these really weird, bold lives and take risks.
Darren Brown says some stuff about what makes people do these stupid things.
Stuff that feels like you normally only see on TV like that.
Flying around the world.
But I think part of it, you will get swept up in that, right? Like people get swept away in fame or success or money or, you know,
I don't know, drugs particularly, I suppose.
But it's this kind of life that grabs you and makes you do stupid things.
I wonder if a big part of it is if everyone else around you is doing something,
that becomes the norm and you almost need to step away
and realise how mad what you're doing is because otherwise you just think well tony's
doing it and steve's doing it and best doing it so what's the problem yeah i've been listening to
this um this podcast by malcolm gladwell where it's called revisionist history and he talks about
how he basically he looks at events historical events or things that have happened through this idea that they were wrong in some way or forgotten.
And we've kind of forgotten the lesson of them.
But there's this one thing about he talks about this idea of the threshold where there's this there was this very famous basketball player who threw underarm and he had this very of very high um foul throw rate or whatever it is
you know very very he was very good but but but throwing underarm is seen as like a kind of a
thing to do yeah yeah and so he didn't really want to lose his reputation and also everyone around
him was thrown the other way he even ended up changing back to throwing the other way and his
you know his his score ratio massively fell away and he ended up you back to throwing the other way. And his score ratio massively fell away.
And he ended up really kind of losing his status
as the best basketball player in the world.
And ever since then, a few people have come along
and been big underarm throwers.
Anyway, the whole podcast is about it.
It's really interesting.
But it basically shows how you have this idea of like this,
kind of like, I guess it's like interesting but it basically shows how you have this idea of like this this this this
kind of like i guess it's like the mob mentality it's like enough if enough people around you are
doing it that makes it okay yeah and it happens in everything i think it's also called sentiment
you know when you look at you know certain things there's certain things that are accepted in
society that everyone does because everyone feels like everyone does them and so even if it's not the
best thing to do everyone's doing it anyway there's certain things that are not favored i guess to do
in in the same way yeah like uh i guess you know bitcoin is something where the sentiment wasn't
very high at certain points and then it was you know everyone saw it as this stupid thing and
everyone saw it as this thing that they had to have. And it's sort of, you know,
the bandwagon effect, I guess it is,
of this swinging wildly between one idea and another.
And all it takes is enough, you know,
certain people have low thresholds
where they're very flexible and willing to change.
And I'm sure in basketball,
a lot of people, you know, do want to win,
but other people do want to keep their contracts
with being cool and selling sneakers or whatever.
Yeah, you're not going to sell many shoes
if you're an underarm thrower.
Like the poster is you like chucking it up in the air
like a kid.
This guy's lame.
He's not going to sell any sneakers.
Exactly.
So I think that, you know,
I think it is interesting how stuff like that,
like possibly some answer to genuinely being better at a sport uh is is
hidden away for the sake of coolness and how you look and your your the branding that comes around
your life yeah i guess also there's a the mentality of not looking like a tit because if he throws
like that and misses everyone in their mind is thinking of course he's missed he's throwing like that even if it's more effective it's still going to
miss sometimes so then that's going to negatively reinforce like your mentality is going to be oh
maybe maybe this is the problem you know it's sort of if you miss attempting something that
statistically is better people's what is that uh i can't remember the term confirmation bias right so yeah if you're
throwing underarm like that and you miss a crucial point the emphasis and all the media will be about
why is why they're letting this idiot throw this way even if it's worked the other 99 times the
one crucial one he misses is the one everybody will notice right i think it's this is part of
the reason why it's hard for change to happen because it's easier for people to just conform, right?
Oh, yeah.
In every walk of life.
From the design of, like, roads or, like, everyone apparently,
apparently open offices is the cool thing and trendy that everyone has.
You know, we have one.
But actually, all the evidence points to the fact that people work better,
you know, in smaller areas, which is possibly, you know,
why people work from home has actually not you know
changed the productivity of these these these operations at all in fact it's better in the big
office and so like that but but it's kind of if you break from that norm you're the outsider and
it's easy to not rock it's easy just to not rock the boat and just just go with the flow i mean
wouldn't it be nice if everyone had i've always wanted a job where i had a little office of my own and people have to like and open the door and come
in and i've got like a view of central park and stuff that would be great my only love you know
like that and i have a secretary and stuff like that that would be great what is this dream vision
you have what do you do what do you mean you've got office in said overlooking central park yeah you're a big secretary it's a corner office obviously yeah i think i mean i'm just
getting lex luther vibes right now lex luther doesn't work in an office building he has a layer
that's it he has what do you mean he's not like a dragon man he's not steve jobs like he's hiding
in plain sight he doesn't have an he doesn't have an office he doesn't need a front he has a suit and a fancy office he's a crime boss yeah he has like one
office but it's not he doesn't have like he doesn't have a call center and like he doesn't
he doesn't have like all these people like data inputting all around him and stuff he just has
like yeah he has a big mahogany desk.
And that's about it.
You know, like a couple of tape machines.
No, he's like an evil lion man.
He's like an evil Tony Stark.
This must be some new reinvention.
I think I smell.
Hold on.
What's that I smell?
I smell Snyder.
Has this got Snyder on it?
I think it has.
It's probably only about 30 years old so yeah this re-envisioning
of lexie i don't think he's like an underworld mob boss he's kind of this in plain sight ceo
but i'm telling you he's got a land dude i'm guaranteed he's like um he's like a. He's like a bad Elon. Or a good Elon.
Oh, my God.
Oh, by the way, I've written a small thing.
This is, do you guys do yoga?
No.
I used to do a lot of yoga.
I'm going to start doing it again.
So Mrs. F does yoga.
A lot of people, when they do yoga, will do it with a video
or they'll have on their phone a video showing you the moves.
But she's been doing it so long now that all she needs
is like the direction audio cue.
So you just have like a tape or a podcast
or like a recording of someone telling you what moves to do
and you know to do it.
And it's like, this is your flow.
And it's almost like an age memoir, really.
So she knows the names of all the moves and all the rest of it.
But as a non-yoga doer, this is what it sounds like to me.
I love it. This is like a poem.
I'm really excited.
I have to come a little closer to the mic and speak softly
because that's how they do it.
Let me know if this sounds right.
Does this sound like a yoga tape?
Yes, kind of, yeah.
All right, this is how it would go.
Left knee down, tremble lifting now into tabletop.
Three fingers joining and relax.
Lunchtime appointment, then pleasantries.
Bring that ankle forward to your rear knee upward in 17.
Dog who can talk French,
gently rolling over into root dog who can't talk French.
Now relax those kidneys kidneys bring that shoulder all
the way back until it gently touches your anus downward hog weasel thrust those eyeballs forward
into shock pedestrian i love a downward hog weasel oh man long hot summer of passion really driving
your third and fourth toes into your left hand don't let your hair relax too much as we saw tremulously into jealous boss
New Year's honors bending down now into cowards rebuke and shuffling awkwardly into letter from granny
Shanaynay
Oh my god, it's like
That's what it sounds like. That's exactly what it sounds like.
Oh my God.
It's like a mum who hears her son playing Dota
and she doesn't understand any of this stuff.
Right, it's just absolute gibberish.
And she seems to know what it all means.
So it's like, why do you speak this strange alien language?
And what do all these moves mean?
Spirit runner top.
No wards.
Eyes from the side shop. Oh oh he's at the bounty ward
yes global silence you're like what is all this oh man that's just it doesn't mean anything to
to it i love it i that is that was something that was a thing of beauty that was beautiful
yeah thank you i hope you will feel very relaxed like like i reach
your elbow around to touch your anus that is such a that is such a perfect just gonna do it once
we're done here i'm going inside and i'm just gonna do some downward hog weasels like
can't wait but i've walked into mrs f before and i'm like you're right and she's like i'm in
shavasana i was like oh you were right and And she's like, I'm in shavasana.
I was like, oh, you were right.
But that means you're relaxing at the end, I think.
You just kind of chill.
So she's just lying there on the floor, and I'm like, she's like shavasana.
See, recently, I would take that as like, oh, shit, I've got to call the maternity unit.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
I was like, what do you mean, shavasana?
Are you in pain?
Is your back out?
What is it?
Yeah, it's the one where you're lying on your back with your arms out.
And just chilling.
I think it's called corpse pose.
You've got to put some of that yoga stuff into that TikTok rap, Flax.
That's your next challenge.
You know, instead of the yabba-dabba-doos, you've got to get some of your yoga poses in there as well.
It'd be really good just like
fast yoga fast yoga that doesn't sound very yogic does it no a lot of it is just lying down against
all the principles of of yoga really yeah there you go it's 2021 you can do whatever you like
yeah i might get back into it actually i've i've been meaning to because i'm working i've got the
jeremy clarkson gut um growing yeah no you're not you're the ground i saw you the other day you need to thanks
the barnet needs to go and the and the clobber if you've ever read the uh the mr men books uh before
um yeah look for look for the book uh mr skinny um he. He goes off and he has to live with Mr.
Mr. Skinny goes to India.
Yeah, I know.
He tries to make gains.
That's who I am at the moment.
He tries to make gains,
so he decides he's going to live with Mr. Greedy for a couple of months.
And then at the end of it, he's still Mr. Skinny,
but it just looks like he's got a baseball in his stomach,
like he's got this little tiny potbelly.
That's what I imagine Lewis looks like right now. That is exactly what's happened yeah oh man oh sure you've got a you've got a look and you're
adhering to it i admire it yeah it's every it's every day man i thought it was an occasional
thing like you've committed to this do you have you purchased a samurai sword to display in your
office yeah i noticed yeah lewis he's got the man bun he's been
wearing a lot of kimonos and stuff he just needs some samurai swords a couple wall scrolls maybe
some anime pillows and stuff and the look is complete yeah oh well i yeah thanks you guys
it does seem like no problem no problem i don't it gives me a good... It's relaxed. It relaxes my mind.
It's nice.
In very loose-fitting clothing.
Right.
I know it's nice
because of the endless stream
of pictures on the Yog's Instagram
of you model posing.
It refreshes my day.
I like to see it.
I'm like, there's Lulu
doing his thing.
I'm glad I tickle you.
It's nice.
Oh, that's so nice. nice thank you it's nice to hear
yeah um oh i had i had a very positive week i saw simon for the first time in in six weeks and we
recorded how is he a peculiar portions he's he's actually fine he weirdly he's been because he's
been streaming so much um playing final fantasy and all sorts of other games with with folks he's actually been i think
not not not happy but obviously better than um you know because i think it was initially in the
lockdown it was quite lonely for him oh yeah because he limited sort of he felt like he was
a bit more vulnerable so he wasn't going out at all kind of thing um but no i think through
streaming and other things he's he's actually socializing and doing more fun stuff
than he's had before, actually.
So he's quite positive.
And we had a nice time talking to him,
talking about him like he's some sort of patient.
I always imagine that they just wheel him in
like Hannibal Lecter style on the dolly.
It's like, here he is.
He's ready for content.
Man, poor guy ah shit though
so it was good though we did a
Peculiar Portions which will be a podcast we're actually sort of
re-engaging Peculiar Portions
to be more of a podcast now
which will be part of our Pickaxe
network of good podcasts
oh great
that will be good get our Pickaxe network of good podcasts oh great that will be good
get my shoehorn out there
oh man
along with
Hat Chat and Pitch Please
which you can also listen to and I recommend greatly
there will be other podcasts
we've all been on Pitch Please I'm pretty sure
we might get Spiff to do a podcast
I'm interested to do
doing a little podcast hey i saw spiff uh he was in jersey uh i know yeah he sent me a picture of
you too yeah i went to see him and um and mango the for just i've met them for a coffee quickly
because we're still like in sort of baby lockdown but uh it was good to see them i haven't seen well
the last person i saw was you when you were over.
So it's always fun when people come over here, right?
Because it's such a small place.
Yeah, are they thinking of getting married in Jersey or something?
Yeah, eventually.
I think they are, yeah.
I think they're still looking at venues and stuff like that.
Yeah, I think the tax is always enough.
Spiff's always looking for an exploit.
An exploit, yeah.
A loophole.
He got his channel back, thank goodness.
I saw his video
he got he got exploited which is uh but a few people did it's so weird if you watch it like
the guy ends up asking him for a job and all this kind of stuff and then there's this other guy is
it jim sterling or jim browning i always jim browning or something like that so he got got
and he's a guy that catches scammers and the guy guy told him he'd made, like, millions off this,
but then also asked him for 100 bucks for his channel back.
He's like, what are you talking about, dude?
It's really, really strange.
Yeah, it's just this weird side of the internet
where these people are out there.
But the dude that did the scam was just, like,
really smart enough to do it because it's ingenious.
But then when he chatted to him...
It's something to do with, like like moving your channel over to another email or
something and it and it just it deletes the channel or something doesn't it it's really
it was really coincidental because it caught the gym guy who i've already forgot if it's browning
or stealing i'm just gonna stick with browning sure go for it it caught him out it sounds like
a yoga pose into gym browning now and then relaxing into Spiff. Relax with a one-time hog weasel downwards.
Because he had recently changed phones,
Jim had.
So he thought that this was linked to that
because it's all about ad center counts and everything.
So he thought,
oh, it must have been when I changed phones.
And so it just coincidentally,
it was bang on cue.
So just crazy, man.
It's amazing.
You've got to be so fucking careful.
We had our channel deleted that one time because someone reported me for being 12 years old.
Yes, I remember that.
And they sent me that incredibly condescending email saying,
maybe you can come back when you're older.
Yeah, maybe that's why Lewis has been posing so much recently with his new fashion and man buttons and stuff like that.
Look at me, an adult.
Yeah, exactly.
There's no possible way I'm 12 years old.
Look at me, everybody.
Don't delete my channel, please.
Well, the world of YouTube and that.
Anyway, there's some interesting stuff in the works.
Yeah, so hopefully there'll be some good stuff to show off in future.
Yeah.
Some good podcasts to listen to.
I'm recommending people outside the network today go listen to Malcolm Gladwell.
I recommend his podcast.
Very interesting.
Very good.
Very interesting.
All right, well, that's us done for the day.
Thank you.
There's new episodes every Wednesday on Spotify, and we're back.
Triforce is back with Avengers.
That's right, baby.
You heard it here first.
See you next time, everybody.
Bye!
Bye!
Bye!