Triforce! - Triforce! #199: Childless IDIOT enjoys life, wastes it on jigsaws
Episode Date: November 10, 2021Triforce! Slightly early access to an ad-free episode 199! Pyrion tells the most gripping story of the worst Saturday ever, we read our first ever fan email in our new mailbox section and Lewis has en...ough free time in his childless life to play board games and do jigsaws like an idiot. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Pickaxe. won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone.
Download the app and play whatever, wherever, and whenever.
Your options for fun are endless.
On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play.
Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means.
The best part is it's safe, secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready.
Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino.
Head to the App Store to download.
Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today.
DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours.
Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario.
1-866-531-2600.
19 and over and physically present in Ontario.
Eligibility restrictions apply.
See casino.draftkings.com for details.
Please play responsibly. Manage expenses with the new TD Low Rate Visa Card. With an 8.99%
promotional interest rate for the first six months, the new TD Low Rate Visa Card can help
find some balance. Learn more at td.com slash low rate card. Conditions apply. Limited time offer. hello and welcome back to the triforce podcast uh welcome
welcome welcome welcome welcome back everyone He's shuddering. Welcome. Welcome back, everyone.
It's like a combination of children's TV show and Mr. Saturday Night.
Oh, man.
So this week I went to the Games Development Conference in Brighton.
How was that?
I was down there.
It was pretty exciting.
I met some interesting folks and drank too much.
And it was all very different, apparently, to how it usually is.
Right.
Because typically they do it in summer.
Yeah.
It's quite pubby.
They're all quite outside.
Brighton's quite nice.
This time it was in the start of November.
So it was cold.
It was rainy.
It was in one small room in
the hilton hotel well so it was kind of like um it's kind of like just a large room with some
with the whole convention in there so all the booths and stuff it was all very strange you know
yeah it was like a mini a mini a mini convention i guess they they gotta cut things down right
because there's still covid cases surgingging and all that kind of stuff.
So it's all done carefully, but it was all just done small,
which is kind of, it's like the smallest, you know,
I've been to E3 and Gamescom and all these places,
and they're vast, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
Huge, enormous mega halls full of stuff as far as the eye can see.
And this one is just like kind of a weird, awkward room with, you know, a couple of people.
But it's exactly the same stuff, just on a much, much smaller scale.
I guess the people who are brave enough or keen enough to come back
or have been lured in with cheapness.
I don't know.
But it was very interesting.
I met Charles Cecil.
Oh, yeah.
The Charles Cecil.
The Charles Cecil. Chuck E.. The Charles Cecil. The Charles Cecil.
Chuckie C himself.
Who is he?
He's an MBE.
Charles Cecil MBE.
He's a very nice man.
He wrote, so he sort of, he was like,
he sort of grabbed me on the shoulder and he was like,
Joe, when I wrote my first game.
Hate the Yogscast, hate you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's one of those.
He's one of those.
He just grabs random people by the
shoulders from behind you know the first time i ever started working on a game was uh was back
during the vietnam war buddy uh just like patting you on the ass and stuff he wrote his first game
so i was like oh i don't know 1995 and he was like because that was when i started school you
know yeah and um wrong century sonny
wrong but he used to work for did he used to work work for uh bullfrog or was he a bull interplay
no so he intercourse wrote broken sword one and two right and all the broken swords here
yeah but he's a very famous point and click which which I played when I was a kid. You know, very cool. Yeah.
And ever since then, he's just ran the company
making Broken Sword games and just kept doing it.
It's the same thing for 40 years or whatever.
So, yeah, he first wrote his first game was in 1981.
Wow.
Which is a long time ago.
I was one years old.
How old is this guy?
He's 59.
Holy crap.
Yeah.
Okay.
So then he was like, what, 18 when he wrote it?
In 81?
Yeah, something like that.
And I mean, I've also met Ian Livingston there.
He's a big, big celeb.
Ian Livingston?
Yeah.
Ken Livingston.
The corner of London.
Ian Livingston.
Did you tell him?
Brother of Ken Livingston.
Ian Livingston is a legend.
Ken Livingston, I presume?
Well, so is Charles Cecil, but carry on.
Well, Ian Livingston is my current legend
because I didn't really like the Broken Sword games,
I'll be honest with you.
No offense, Charles Cecil.
I never played them, honestly.
They weren't for me.
I never played them.
But fighting fantasy, now you're talking.
Death Trap Dungeon, Warlock of Firetop Mountain,
Forest of Doom.
Okay, next time you go to one of these conventions, Lewis,
can you make sure that you meet the guy who made and wrote street fighter 2 and um also
mortal combat for me please so that i can i can get in on the thing is that yeah i don't know
it's hmm i don't i don't know exactly who that is right um well i mean maybe that can be like uh
you know 2022 goal yeah some homework for you
figure it out i would like to know because him and steve jackson used to write books together
what went wrong with the partnership because steve jackson did the car race city port of traps and
those books the shamu tanti hills and all that kind of stuff what went wrong because they used
to do stuff together and then they stopped what happened i'd like to know i don't think i think
it was a little bit like a Tom and Ben situation.
Well, they hate each other.
No, Tom's doing it.
Person one revealed that they absolutely loved pineapple on pizza
to person two's just tragic dismay,
and they never spoke again after that.
That's fair.
No, it's like one guy's doing it,
then he gets his friend who's, because he's like,
damn, this is so popular.
We could make more of these. I'll get my friend to do it. And then he gets his friend who's, because he's like, damn, this is so popular. We could make more of these.
I'll get my friend to do it.
And so he gets his friend to do it.
And between the two of them, they smash out like 30 game books
in about five years and make an absolute mint
and then found Games Workshop.
So, yeah, I mean, he's pretty successful.
Good, good, good.
Yeah, big fan.
Wait, Ian Livingston founded Games Workshop?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
Man, their stock price is insane games
he is he is minted by the way yeah he runs like a big investment firm now for like putting money
into games and stuff author entrepreneur man nice to meet you he is a bit like that actually but he's
he's nice um he put a yogs cost reference in his latest game book no way he made it he made a game but
relatively recently and put um put a yogscast reference in it yeah and then we covered it we
did it on the christmas stream a couple years he was on it he was on the christmas stream i have a
tiny penis was it like it was one of those references where it's like actually a minecraft
reference but we just we're just like hijacking it no He doesn't know who the Yogs cast are.
He just made a mind prep. You put in a dwarf of Yog or something.
You have to fight, you know, some sort of thing.
Turn to page 87 if you have a tiny penis.
Otherwise, turn to page 104.
Oh, man.
Yeah, it's exactly that.
Do you want to hear what I got up to this week?
Yes.
So I was at Brighton.
It was nice.
I'll tell you more about it in a bit.
Well, I was on vacation until Saturday when I traveled home.
And I had one of the worst Saturdays that I've had in some time.
One of the worst days I've had in some time, actually.
Oh, God.
We left the house at 8.
We had 10 hours of travel ahead of us to get back.
Unfortunately, it's just the way it is.
We got to Madrid, where our connecting flight back from Madrid to London was.
And we had one hour from the time the plane touched down to the time our next plane took off, which seems like plenty of time.
But the airports were just a bit shitty.
And the airline was obviously at the back of the list of importance.
So we land and we're just sat on the runway for like 20 minutes.
And me and Mrsrs f are like sweating
and looking at our watches and they start to let people off and then they stop and i realize it's
one of those things where they've got a bus which i fucking hate you get off the plane you have to
get on a bus it drives you like 10 feet you get off the bus annoying but this one isn't driving
us 10 feet it's driving us about eight nine minutes away and i can see other planes of the
same airline,
the one that we are going to be on right here.
And I'm like, I bet one of those is our plane.
And they're driving us fucking miles away.
And that's exactly what happened.
Get off the plane.
And there's a huge queue of people just standing there.
And this is like one of those queues that snakes about
through the little divider rope things.
You know, the things where you, it's like a it's like a seat belt
you know the seat belt queues and there's like about 150 people in front of us and then there's
just people standing there and they're just sort of waiting and i'm like what are we waiting for
like there's no no one here everyone's just like if you have a queue system people will just stand
there they don't want to cross a line so i was like airports right it's terrifying you don't
want to fuck about you could just be fenced around a plastic bit of you know fencing and you could just pen some like 150
people there and just leave them there for hours yeah they would never no one would know they would
question it but you'd never need to give them an answer because there's nothing they can do
it's right you can have someone walk past with a check with a with a clipboard and a high-vis
jacket occasionally and look and they get on a walkie-talkie and go,
and they'd walk off.
And people would say, oh, well, something's happening.
Some guy might say to them, what's going on?
And he's like, oh, don't worry, someone will be along in a minute.
Yeah, everybody just wait here.
And they would.
I would like to see the social experiment on that. I would fail that because within one minute,
I shouted out, is anybody here on a connecting flight?
And everybody goes, yes.
And I said, well, ours leaves in half an hour. And they go, well, mine is in an hour. i shouted out is anybody here on a connecting flight and everybody goes yes and i said well
ours leaves in half an hour i think well mine is in an hour and i was like i'm sorry folks but i've
got to do this and i just flipped the divider the little thing that connects to the the metal thing
and i just walked through the queue with with mrs f and the kids we just barged through everybody
and the one at the end that people were waiting up for no reason i flipped that as well and we
just walked off because i thought needs must like i have to gamble or we're going to be fucking stuck in Madrid overnight.
Wow. Right.
So we just go.
And another couple of British families who will come back to London look at me and they're like, yes, this man is right.
We all just fucking left.
We didn't wait around for whatever they were waiting us around us for.
We're just leaving.
I'm sorry if we broke the laws in Spain, but I'm not fucking missing my plane when there's nobody standing there and there's no good reason. And people in the queue don't even know why we're queuing. I'm sorry if we broke the laws in Spain, but I'm not fucking missing my plane when there's nobody standing there
and there's no good reason
and people in the queue don't even know why we're queuing.
I'm leaving.
Oh my God, this is gripping.
This is like better than half the TV shows
that I've watched this week.
I am wrapped.
We're going up the stairs and I said to the kids,
girls, we are going to be running.
I don't want any complaints about your sides hurting
or I'm tired or I'm thirsty.
Just hold this gun.
Just hold this gun.
If anyone comes around that corner, you shoot them.
I said, we are running, and that is it.
I've taken the safety off.
We are running.
Just like, close gun, pin it up.
We start to run, and Mrs. F and the kids are like,
I mean, I'm carrying like three bags.
We're sweating and running.
And my first thought is, God,
I fucking hope our luggage somehow gets through
because it's going to be off a plane and onto a plane.
It's got to do it in like 20 minutes.
They've got to muster this.
I have had that before in a connecting flight
where somehow my plane made it.
That hasn't happened since like 2001, right?
You normally have to collect your luggage
and check it back in again.
No, no, no, it just goes.
It just goes.
That's been years.
But often they actually,
they have a beeper where they take it off the plane
and the next plane is parked right next to it.
And then they just put it on.
The luggage probably had a 10-meter journey.
Exactly.
You had to go through a fucking airport to some dumb check-in desk
and back out again.
Yeah.
So we get up and there's the thing saying connecting flights
and here's our gate.
And it has a little time showing you.
Oh, fuck.
Hold that thought.
There's the door.
Oh, my God. It's like the cliffhanger
episode, he's like
ended the episode on a cliffhanger
oh typical, he knows how to
craft a story that guy
I'm in agony, I need to know what happens
I need to know the outcome of this
even though it happened a week ago
he's home
what's going to happen next
I don't know, I've been watching this fucking drama called
signal which is on netflix because apparently it's like the because that's what happens on
netflix now and every episode is like an hour and a half long it's fucking taking me ages to
watch this thing that's big it just because it's kind of a bingeable series all of the fucking
episodes just have cliffhangers all over the place like completely every like the pacing is
completely off like it'll have
a cliffhanger in the first 10 minutes and then kind of resolve that and then it will start a
brand new episode at about half an hour into the episode it's so weird that's weird anyway sorry
i've been enjoying it um but p flags your watcher was that quickly signal you should check it out
okay it's about it's about like back to the future but cops okay. Back to the Future cops. Yeah, kind of.
Yeah.
It's okay.
All right.
So I have like a photograph and it like goes a wibbly wobbly.
You're selling it, really selling it.
Like in Back to the Future.
Back in 1985, I did a huge police brutality on one of the inmates.
I want to go back and do it again.
I want to relive that moment.
So we see the little sign saying, here's your gate.
It's like, you know, B-17 or whatever.
The little thing that says the B gates, it's about 18 minutes away.
And we've got 25 minutes till our plane takes off.
And I'm thinking, fuck me.
If there's any kind of COVID checks or any kind of passport or anything between here and the gate, we're fucked.
So we have to run.
So I'm running.
When you saw
that did you think like holy crap bill gates like did that thought ever enter your mind no b gates
no no not not even once right so we started running and we're running and i'm thinking we're
close we're close we're close and all of a sudden there's a massive queue and there's passport
control and me and the other british families who have also been legging it look at each other
there's all sweat coming off us all that like it was our family and two other families and it was like they
had cloned each of the each of us because it was a bald dad a mom with the same color hair as mrs f
and they both had two kids and in each case they had two daughters this is bizarre there's a
seinfeld episode like that yeah literally i was like they cloned three families
and they dropped us in here as some horrible social experiment it was it was brutal so we're
getting through and i'm literally pouring with sweat at this point because i really know that
first of all if the hot bags go on without us that's gonna suck we're gonna be stuck overnight
i don't know where we're gonna stay in the drivers have to fucking get a hotel
none of us have got anything like we've just got hand luggage so it's gonna suck and we're gonna stay in mid rivers have to fucking get a hotel none of us have got anything like we've just got hand luggage so it's gonna suck and we're gonna have to you know our car is is um
waiting for us at gatwick and we're gonna have to pay more parking on that my mom's gonna be on her
own all the rest of it and i just thought this is gonna suck please let us make this plane we
somehow made it as soon as we got through the passport bit i just legged it to the gate and
they were there and they were like final call and i like, you do realize you've got like 30 people on another one of your airline's flights.
You can't final call this.
You've got to wait for them.
Seatbelt waiting area.
And they were like, we know, we know.
Don't worry.
Everybody's going to get on.
I was like, then why did you put final call up and all these terrifying announcements?
We've all been stuck in this queue shitting ourselves for half an hour.
And, you know, Jesus, calm down.
So we get on the plane.
We're all super relieved.
We get to Gatwick.
And, of course, our luggage is lost.
Our luggage hasn't turned up.
Of course, that didn't make it.
No, that didn't make it.
So I was like, fine, so we've got to fill out these forms for that
and all the rest of it.
Luckily, to be fair.
And all the other British families.
There's like a queue of all of us that came from Madrid.
It's the same cloned family
it's the same
experience
so we go to get
our car
and they're meant
to meet us
at the
at the arrivals gate
with our car
they didn't
and there's three
cloned cars there
three Nissans
in a row
but they weren't there
so we had to go
and find where they
parked it
three angry mums there
hands on hips
three little dogs
and the dogs are all the same.
Three bald dads sweating and shaking their heads.
Oh, it's bloody typical, isn't it?
Bloody typical.
So we get in the car, we get home
and the dog, Aggie, is in a terrible way.
Like she is really, really poorly.
She can barely walk around.
You can see all the bones.
She's super dehydrated.
And my mum was like,
she's really like taking a massive
downward spiral today she was poorly yesterday today she's like really poorly jesus and maddie
said to me all right well you've got to take it to the 24-hour vet like right now so we left the
house at eight it is now approaching eight it's taken us 10 and a half 11 hours to get home and
the first thing i have to do is take the dog to the 24-hour vet so i'm knackered at this point but she is so poorly i'm like fucking this might be like you know we i
might have just flown and rushed all the way home and then she might be about to to croak like she
is that poorly so i get her in the car and we rush over to the vet and i go in to see the vet and he's
this italian hitman looking guy that's the best I can describe he looks like an Italian hitman and
he's wearing a suit
no he just
I can't describe it
he looked like
an Italian hitman
that's what he looked like
and he said to me
that's your best
description of him
because he was also
Italian
and it was the way
he put the dog
on the table
so I put the dog
on the table
and he says
tell me the symptoms
and he's examining
the dog
and he's talking to me
he's not saying a word he's just to me. He's not saying a word.
He's just looking at me occasionally.
I'll say something.
He'll just look at me.
He won't nod.
He won't shake his head.
He'll just look at me right in the eye.
Like he's trying to tell if I'm lying or not.
Like it was like an interrogation.
It was really strange.
Well, you're like a sweaty, sunburned, bald, tired, exhausted,
taggered dad wearing like summer clothes covered in sweat
like dried
mess
from like
navigating
I'm not still sweating
sweaty foreign airport
I was sweating hours ago
now I'm
now I'm perfectly fine
but for some reason
Saturday evenings
in London
there's always traffic
I have no idea
where these people are going
I don't know where they're going
but they're going somewhere
to the 24 hour vet
yeah well
you'd think so
well those other families probably came home and their dogs were also sick they've had the experience
so they i said to him i'm really hoping that you're gonna keep her in tonight because i think
she's pauline he said oh she's staying here and i thought okay and then i said to him all right and
uh you know what what happens now he goes well he well, he goes, if all goes well, you'll never hear from me again.
Otherwise, the Veps will be in touch.
You can go back out to the reception now.
And I was like, OK.
And I went out and the lady said, yeah, we'll call you when she's better or we'll update you.
I was like, all right.
He didn't sort of tell me what was wrong with her.
And she's like, don't worry about it.
So mysterious.
He said, if all goes well, you'll never hear from me again i was like all right like the cleaner like mr wolf has
turned up you know what is the problem where's the animal you know that's so he was like all business
and very mysterious but that was it so the next morning i called up the vet i said please tell
us how aggie is they're like oh she's fine i was like all right and so we're gonna keep her in for
a few more hours to do a few more tests and then you can come get her around four four o'clock went to get her she was back to her old
self she was fine and she's now completely on the mend she's perfect again so what the hell was
wrong with her she had some kind of respiratory tract infection and she couldn't keep even water
down like she would bring it straight back up and it was because her throat was so inflamed that
anything that went in it tickled her throat and so inflamed that anything that went in, it tickled
her throat and she'd be sick immediately. She was foaming
at the mouth. It was
horrible. It was like she'd been poisoned
and he'd given her the antivenom.
It really was like that. But instead they just gave her
some penicillin and some antifungal.
What angel?
What angel you encountered?
Dr. Doolith.
The flower of healing.
Or maybe an Angelino if uh if if you
know but yeah so that was that was my saturday and i just sort of collapsed like christ well
that was job done though job fucking crap do you mean all right well listen to this i i i take your
saturday and i present to you my saturday um we had uh my son's uh birthday party we um we rented
out a a hall and uh and and rented a bouncy slide castle thing and then a smaller one for smaller
kids and there was like 20 kids there we had to do like party bags and cake and um the whole
the whole thing it's always a completely stress-free time.
It occupied the entire day, like multiple trips back and forth.
Oh, my God.
Had all this stuff to do.
And then on Sunday, of course, it was Halloween,
so we had to do all the pumpkin carving and everything,
and the kids went out for trick-or-treating and stuff.
And then by the end of the weekend,
I was ready to lay in a dark room by myself for 24 hours and not speak to anyone ever again.
What is in a party bag?
Oh, all sorts of stuff.
Just little trinkets and stuff.
We got little gummy figurines.
They're the size of your thumb sort of thing, but they're rubbery, like gummy.
Okay.
You know those styrofoam airplanes? The ones that you... Oh, yeah. of your thumb sort of thing but they're like rubbery like gummy uh like little like uh you
know like those styrofoam airplanes the ones that you oh yeah they come in like a flat pack and you
go on those things man my man would buy me one of those man it's crazy because that was 30 years
you can get like a pack of a hundred off ebay for like three pounds it's insane like you can get so
many of those planes this is why we're destroying the fucking environment yeah it's crazy um but like you know you just put a couple of things in and then like um it's my
daughter's birthday earlier in the week so it was kind of like it wasn't officially a joint party
but like we like invited a bunch of her like friends like you know like like our friends who
have kids and and stuff so like there was quite a few people there for her as well and they had
their own like little area because they're younger and their own party bags and stuff so it was it was pretty good
but normally we do it all ourselves but we we actually hired somebody to do it this time just
because with the baby and everything it was it would just been impossible to to do it all and
uh it was really good they did a really good job like we had obviously had to pay for it but like
man honestly those it was so worth it people we hired a lady uh the mermaid fairy princess or something she was called yeah
she was fucking brilliant yeah yeah uh she was super hot as well but uh she was she was great
and she did just a fantastic job yeah what on earth is this mrs f has ordered a load of sticks
loads and loads of sticks oh they're for candy floss we got the fireworks
on saturday i'm man of the barbecue yeah gotta do gotta get some sparklers yeah yeah the the
lady that did uh the the party she had like this uh it looked like an old restored wagon but it
was like a refreshments wagon for adults so she had like a little espresso maker like she could
make little cappuccinos and stuff.
Oh, man.
She had some chocolate biscuits.
And, oh, yeah, it was great.
So I just hid behind that the whole time.
Like pretending that the baby was asleep.
Yeah, and the other dads all sort of like sought refuge behind there as well.
So we could talk about lots of questions about my flooded garage and stuff.
That was good.
How many discussions about the route people had taken
to get to the party?
Because that's always a failure.
Yeah, there's tons.
Mostly, actually...
Tried to come through Twickenham.
It was an absolute nightmare.
Oh, yeah, I think they're doing roadworks on Heath Road again.
Oh, they're always doing roadworks.
End of the year, innit?
They've got to get the budget sorted.
Typical bloody council.
We came down there, 316.
It was just about you.
I think there's some rugby on
we described queens or at the main stadium i think it was both army versus navy it's an
absolute bloody nightmare we came around the back the hospital bridge ran about came around there
and came down by mcdonald's on own base it wasn't too bad actually but yeah it could be worse on
some days oh yeah these small things it's that or work you talk about work as well right how's
work going uh you know i'm really fed up with work, blah, blah, blah.
And then they just go into all these people that you don't know or have never heard about
and like the situations that they're in and stuff.
And it's like, that's pretty, pretty typical dad chat, isn't it?
You talk about-
Yeah, there's, I've heard a lot of it because I'm watching this.
I got recommended this stupid YouTube channel for some reason, because that's what happens.
You get recommended the stuff that's virally popular there's a guy called um froggy flips on youtube
and he goes to garage sales and car boot sales we call them where people just sort of sell their
crap um and he obviously his whole thing is to find valuable stuff that he can then flip on ebay
right and um he's got a little antiques booth as well. But he sort of has this kind of encyclopedic knowledge
he's built up over years and years of running these stores.
Subbing now.
I've just followed his channel.
It's all by Most Popular.
He is huge.
When yard sale dreams come true.
3.8 million views.
Yeah, so he'll find something that people think is worthless
and they're basically thrown away for a dollar
and it's worth hundreds of dollars. And he's's not like there's a lot of people out there on
youtube doing a similar thing in a much scummier way like where they're kind of um kind of i don't
know like ripping like ripping people off or really low-balling people and stuff you know
whereas he's actually quite fair mostly and nice anyway he's a nice guy i like him but he kind of
has this camera on his head yes
and he goes around these yard sales and obviously everyone there i assume he asks permission before
he does it but there's just these these people just having their small talk right and it's always
like oh yeah do you see they they moved that tree that was on you know the road down there oh yeah
that was getting the branches were getting in the way of cars you know like kind of you know just just the most generic mindless day-to-day crap people talk
about what else are you going to talk about with people in your neighborhood though if you don't
know them as friends yeah like we've got friends in the area that we like we go out to the pub with
and we you know we have over and stuff like that but then like the guy over the road and a couple
of other people in my area,
there's like four or five or six families
on my road near me.
And we all know and we'll chat.
How's it going?
Oh, yeah, not bad.
But we don't really have big conversations.
It's mainly about the only thing we have in common,
the stuff that's going on on our road
or in the immediate area.
Well, that's the thing.
I weirdly thought it would be kind of boring
and kind of, I don't know, annoying in some way.
But no, I think it's actually quite comforting
just to hear this.
Very generic, like low,
just light conversation about nothing.
It's community building in a way.
I know someone was asking about Halloween the other week.
I've seen a lot, you know, when Halloween,
which came and went as it does very quickly and without much you know really fanfare
over here um man it was a busy one this year it was yeah there was a lot of trick or treat we went
out for an hour my eldest said she didn't fancy it my youngest and i went out uh there were a lot
of people around um but the main road that we go to which is like the gold mine in the area where
there's loads of families,
it's a very long road.
This is considered like the staple of Halloween in our area.
Is it all very brightly decorated for Christmas as well?
Very bright, like there's obviously a big,
the thing on their street is that they do this.
It had been sucked dry by the time we got there.
It was like arriving at the Gold Rush town
when all the claims had been made
and the ground was empty. See see this is what he does like the best thing he does is get there really early when they're still putting stuff out and they say and he goes
have you got any kids toys because that's his thing right and they're like oh you've got a box
from i haven't put out yet and he's like i'll have a look and then he buys the whole box and it's got
you know all these jackpots in there but i mean actually the whole thing i will say is like there's a lot of people who are just a bit lonely sometimes they just want to chat and
they want to have a conversation with him yeah and he's always like oh sorry i've got to get to
the next one he's kind of he's kind of in a bit of a rush people just like a conversation but like
that's the things people was questioning halloween and oh what's the point? It's not British, is it?
I think the only reason it's not British is because it actually involves talking to other people,
which is something in general we don't like.
It is actually a little bit of community involvement.
I'm like kind of, I don't obviously do it here.
No one even considered knocking on my door.
But I think, and also there is a lot of fear around it, right?
That, oh, you know, sending your kids out, you know, they'll get abducted.
And, you know, but it's like, it's more of a, if the actual community is putting effort in,
because you have like your street parties and stuff, don't you,
where they shut off the road.
We do have those in the area, yeah.
Yeah, have a kind of, everyone in the community kind of gets
a little note through the door saying, oh, 29th of June,
we're having a street party.
Steve's going to bring his band down.
They play a mix of uh funk and blues yeah of
course they do of course yeah that's all they ever play these bands um but yeah it's like we see all
the other families that we know in the area people that i know from my kids school and we you know
have a chat and everything and everybody says the same thing like oh god oh crazy isn't it
um and that's it and I wore a wig this year.
Nice.
It was an effort at a costume, a big red wig.
Horrifying.
It was horrifying.
People didn't recognize me.
I'm not even kidding.
Wow.
One of our good friends in the area completely blanked me
and talked to the people I was with.
And I was like, hi.
And they looked at me.
They were like, oh, my God, Ted.
Oh, I didn't recognize you.
I was like, yeah, I know.
It must be so iconic, the boldness.
I grew my hair out for COVID, she said.
I've just been shaving it all this time.
Hey, since we're having just a bit of a dad chat,
I wanted to also mention to you that in the morning
when I take my kids to school, when I'm on my way back,
it's just the way that it works out every time, time-wise.
I pass a fellow dad who's walking his small son
to school and i started saying good morning as you do i'm passing by and i'm like good morning
and he always like yeah good morning um and um and all of a sudden one day like this has been
going on for a couple of weeks oh good morning good morning like you know like we recognize
each other say good morning it's fine and uh yeah and then after a couple of weeks his son started saying good morning so right
he'd walk away and i'd be like good morning good morning he'd be like good morning i'd be like hey
good morning like just just carry on and and now over time the son has gotten more and more excited
about this exchange so like the other day i was walking back and it's a pretty long
straight road like after you leave the school and uh i could see them coming but they were
they were far away you know like they were like a couple you know maybe like 50 yards away or
whatever and uh i see the the little kid no notices me sees me super far away and it was
like all muffled and quiet like good morning like he's like like
shouting good morning so i was like good morning and then i had to say good morning to him again
on the way back and then more recently in the afternoon oh my god he's he we pass each other
again as i'm going to pick up my kids from school and he's walking back with his mom
and it's like three o'clock in the afternoon he's like good morning i'm like good morning just keep walking oh my god it kills me every time it's so funny he's so
he's just like he fucking loves it you know like it's just like this the simplest thing but he just
loves it it's hilarious i'm like i like how he just has your same sense of humor he probably does he's probably like yeah say good morning that guy in the afternoon
he's telling all of his friends all his podcast about uh exactly you know this is dad who walks
by me and i say good morning oh man it's so funny so yeah so there you go i thought i would share
i share it's a very very dad thing isn't it like
the the old uh the old good morning the other dad is not uh much into wearing shorts but he wears
flip-flops all year round so i got the shorts but i wear shoes and like you know normally a coat or
whatever this guy usually wearing like pants and a coat and everything but he's just rocking the
flip-flops so you're wearing you're wearing shorts now in november hell yeah that's it that's insane i was freezing today
that insane honestly a coat and a hat and i wanted gloves that's how cold i felt out today
i'm wearing gloves at the moment just don't find my legs get cold like i don't know that's because
they're numb yeah maybe they've lost all feeling i like it but i feel like if i just wear like a coat um and you know if i got shoes on and stuff and i i usually
just put my hands like in my my coat pocket or whatever i'm i'm i'm fine i'm warm enough wow i
don't need uh i don't need to wear fair but scare i don't need to wear trousers you know i just uh
like i like the shorts no it's it's brave of you very free brave. Free and loose. I get a lot of envy.
I get a lot of other dads
are like,
wow, you're still wearing
your shorts?
But they say it in a way
as if like,
man, I wish I was doing that.
Like their wife won't
let them or whatever.
See, my wife is
very understanding.
She knows I want to
just be comfortable
all the time.
Just wear shorts all the time.
Which is scary.
I hate the cold.
Well, I do too.
Like I said,
I don't actually feel cold
so it's not a problem.
Interesting.
Before we carry on, we are sponsored by ExpressVPN.
Thank you very much.
I actually did use ExpressVPN this week.
I was in a hotel, and the internet there would not let me connect to a certain website,
so I just used a VPN.
Oh, that's because I had NetNanny enabled on your laptop.
I went through your browser history and discovered that you are a really big pervert.
So I thought, you know what?
This guy needs NetNanny.
But he found a way around that.
Uh-oh.
Genius.
Well, if you can do it, yeah, it doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack someone.
A smart 12-year-old, I'm sure, could do it.
And they can make around $1, selling uh per person on average 12 year
old's name bobby digital because like i'm probably uh so yes you could use expressvpn i do i recommend
it it creates a encrypted tunnel between your device and the internet so hackers can't steal
your sensitive data you don't need to worry about like blocks and stuff and you can you can use um
you can go to other countries and use you know netflix american version and watch the shows there all i'm saying is stay far away from my
encrypted tunnel that is my business yeah yes keep your encrypted tunnels to yourself my encrypted
tunnel is like the foul channel uh underneath my house um disgusting uh don't don't come here so yes please secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash triforce
that's expressvpn.com slash triforce you can get extra three months free there you go if you're
not using a vpn you should do all right on with the show on with the show this is it
i've got a an interesting email has come in in relation to a previous Triforce that we
did.
Okay.
Right.
An email.
Yeah.
This was a week ago.
This is kind of the...
We don't do a mailbox section on the podcast.
No.
I'm surprised that you received an email.
I know.
This is an email.
I thought for a long time that we should do a mailbox section.
A lot of other podcasts do like a mailbox section.
A lot of other podcasts do.
But here is one from Tay.
And he says, y'all.
So I assume he's from the place he's referring to.
Y'all were talking about cremation on Triforce. So here's an interesting example from Louisiana.
In Louisiana, they can't bury people because the swamp spits the bodies out the ground after a while.
So they got these big above-ground tombs problem solved well not really because above-ground crypts are
pretty big so it came up with a real interesting way to deal with the problem you couldn't cremate
people because religious reasons so they'd make these above-ground crypts like big boxes with a
human-sized compartment at the top and a hole at the far end from the door and you put the body in
the top compartment top compartment is designed to accelerate the decomposition process so after a number of months
or years the body's decomposed down to bones you can shove them to the back of the box where the
hole is and drop the bones into the bigger under box church sanction cremation the solution to the
space problem there you go hallways nice thank you thank I love that. I love that it was just an email with facts in it.
I know.
That's great.
It wasn't like anybody saying, fuck you, idiot, fucking stupid idiot.
You suck or anything.
It was just like, here are some facts that are compiled.
Here is an interesting follow-up.
What is this?
Sorry, what is this bone compression tomb box?
What is he saying?
There's some sort of bone's saying i still don't
want to go that way though like i just just cremate me please like if anyone's listening
just do it that's the thing he's saying that why not because the because of religious things in the
area they're saying no you've got to be buried that's crazy just i want it i want to be burned
well i don't want to wake up in the bone machine all right well let me put it this way you know
like on the off chance i'm not actually dead and i wake up in that bone machine. All right, well, let me put it this way. You know, like on the off chance I'm not actually dead and I wake up in that bone machine.
I don't want to.
Just bring me up.
Okay.
So I would say, first of all, I'm sure you can get cremated if you want.
But I think it's quite a religious place, the Deep South.
And Louisiana is that.
Okay, I get that.
So I think a lot of people are saying-
I think it is not even allowed at all.
Really?
Okay, well, either way.
I think it's just not allowed.
What he's saying is that instead of burying people in a sealed tomb you leave the but you put the body in one of these
a couple holes in it so that the air can get in and then yeah but then it gets it gets a little
stinky i guess he's saying so they found a way here where it's not stinky uh and the body's
decomposed in a in a way that is easier and then you just get a broom and poke the bones to the
back of the hole and slide another body in there.
I guess that's what he's saying.
Oh my God.
What the fuck is going on in this place?
People settle for that over cremation.
I mean, also, how much space do you save with that?
I mean, he sold it to me like,
oh, there, you know,
once the bones are all there,
you just get loads of more bodies in there.
Yeah, so my bones are going to be jingling around
with other people's bones,
like all shoved into a box?
May I make a suggestion, gentlemen?
If you have a box and you can fit a lot of bones in it
and one person's body goes in at the top,
if you compare that to what people have with above-ground tombs,
it's a whole coffin-sized thing for just one body.
Yeah.
Even when it's decayed down to just a few bones
and is maybe taking up...
I'm just asking you, how many human beings' bones
can you get into one human being coffin?
I presume more than one person's worth.
Do you think one day Jeff Bezos' bones
are going to be jingling around
with some other stranger's bones in the back of a box?
I'm sure he's going to shoot himself into space when he does.
Probably, yeah.
There's no doubt about it.
Gigantic cannon, Dr. Evil Star. We could do that.
I mean, that's a thing we could do.
If we had a big enough catapult, just, you know, your body gets wrapped up and they just
fucking haul you out into space, you could do that.
I think you can pay for that.
You can have your bones compressed into a diamond, can't you, and just fire it into
space or something.
Really?
You can have that done if you want.
Well, this is why we need a space elevator. You can just tie
dead bodies onto it and run them up the line.
What kind of mad
bloodthirsty cultist version
of sci-fi is this where the
space elevator is covered in dead bodies?
I think it's
a practical use. That's all.
It's got hooks on it.
We can tie a lot of rubbish to it as well.
Just put all your rubbish and dead bodies in there
and we just take them up into space, fire them into space.
They'll either drift off into the sun or whatever,
smack into a satellite, you know, doesn't matter,
or they'll come back to Earth and burn up in the atmosphere.
That would be ideal.
That's energy, free energy.
We just get them in a low Earth orbit and gradually decays.
So you're in space and you're warping around
and, like, you know, on earth when you go for a road
trip you have all like you know dead mosquitoes and bugs and stuff they'll splattered over the
front of your car you've been driving for like six hours so your spaceship is just gonna be have like
just covered in bodies bodies yeah just like splattered recycling people's people's
people's recycling nappies and dead bodies that's's what you're going to get. I mean, you know what? About the bugs thing, I drove a decent amount this summer,
and I definitely didn't see bugs splattered on my windscreen.
Really?
I know that this is an actual thing,
that the bugs being splattered on windscreens has diminished
because of the decline in insect population overall.
So, yeah.
Good.
It's not good.
Good.
Good.
Idiot.
Good.
I mean, it's a delicate system, but I i mean it's sick of those insects it's a
delicate system but i hate when they get into my house man i i hate it especially no you say that
the insect uh population is declining and this is going to sound very much like there's it's not
global warming it's cold outside but man there's so many daddy long legs this year for some reason
i don't know what it was like i guess they just had a really good it's because you're wearing your shoes just had like a good uh breeding season or something
my backyard was full of them there was just daddy long legs everywhere and they're creepy as hell
but i mean i i don't i've seen maybe two wasps this year oh i saw a wasp the other day it got
into my house i had to lock it in the bathroom and wait for it to fly out you didn't kill it
no hell no i kill wasps sorry wasps sorry wasp fans but i
kill anything that the guy i'm not fucking putting things out back in the garden i put everything
else i release even flies i will let flies out i'll let a bee out i'm not letting a fly out god
that's getting squashed let the fly out i just um i just i have bad hand-eye coordination i just
like my wife gets mad at me too she's like here you go here's
the fly swat and uh i'll miss and then you know the fly will just start flying around you'll kill
your child you know it'll be in high alert mode so it's impossible to kill sort of thing so we've
just we've just resorted to just letting them out when we can you know like it's just some of those
flies do have supernatural speed you know like the like the Matrix dodging. Oh, yeah.
You can't hit them.
You know, they see the thing coming in and it's like...
Flies?
Oh, forget about it.
It's like playing CSGO against, like, a 14-year-old, you know?
Oh, forget about it.
No, it's like enabling bullet tie.
They can just get out of the way because everything's different to them.
They predict the SWAT, you know, like five seconds before you even...
Well, also, they only live a week or whatever, however the fuck knows how long they live.
But, you know, if you compress down your entire lifespan into a week, you know, everything
would be much, you know, slower slash quicker, whatever.
Do you know what I'm trying to say?
No.
I think so.
To them, like, eight years in a week.
So everything is...
That fly SWAT's taking them like an hour to come.
Oh yeah, yeah.
They have, yeah, that's how they roll.
They've got time.
They've got a lot of time to think about it and avoid it and stuff, is what you're
saying.
Yeah, exactly.
You could darn a whole sock and complete a jigsaw puzzle.
That's what I did this week.
I completed a jigsaw puzzle as well.
Good for you.
It was a nice one.
Yeah.
I enjoyed it.
I was listening to an audiobook.
What was the theme of the puzzle?
What was the picture?
Like anime or something?
It was what my mum bought it for me for my birthday.
Right.
It was flowers.
It was lots of yellow and red flowers of different pink flowers, like a garden.
I've become the kind of person who's always amazed by what people get up to in their spare time when they don't have kids.
Like, this fascinates me.
You decided to do that with your free time?
Like, come on.
Yeah, it was great.
You could have done anything.
Man, this is the child-free life I live.
You could have done anything.
What do you mean I could have done anything?
I don't know.
You could have done anything.
You could have gone somewhere, like, you could have gone to see a movie, or you could have gone to eat somewhere.
I did.
Oh, you did all that, too.
I feel like shit now.
Well, of course, this free time.
Thanks.
You did a jigsaw puzzle, and then you went to go see a movie, and then you went somewhere to eat.
And then I went somewhere to eat, yeah.
And did anybody ask you a question the entire time you were doing any of this stuff?
Well, only, like, interesting ones.
Oh, fuck you.
Fuck you.
You don't know how good you have it.
I know. I know. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. You don't know how good you have it. I know.
I know.
It's heaven.
Holy crap.
But no, I'm fascinated by what you get up to as well.
Well, getting asked questions all the time and not being able to go to the movies or go out to eat or anything.
No, but it's very interesting being part of this community and group of people and all the dads and everyone.
I don't know. It's all really interesting i think it's really interesting but it's always you're always so you
were everyone always wants what they don't have yeah right like you want to be me but i want to
be you i don't want aids no i mean no i mean neither flex i don't really don't want that.
I played a board game last night. I played Brass Birmingham.
I recommend it.
Yeah.
It was a board game.
Here comes board game boys.
Board game boy with his fucking board games.
Hey guys, let me teach you board games.
Damn.
It's been really enjoyable.
He's still going.
Yeah.
I'm trying to get more board games
nights going as well
you're welcome to join
oh yeah I wish I fucking could
yeah I live in a fucking
different part of the country
you fucking idiot
how am I going to play
a board game
well
just take my invite
and throw it back in my face
why don't you
let's just be polite
fuck you
and your polite offer fuck you how dare
you take your fucking invite and shove it up your ass idiot roll a d6 and whatever it comes up
hey uh i was playing um man i was playing dota the other day lewis and uh not in the game i was
playing with you last night but uh but separate to that And I was playing in a game with Gyrocopter.
And I couldn't help but notice that Gyrocopter's voice lines sound like your Mr. Popcorn voice.
It really does.
It really does.
It does.
It sounds exactly like Mr. Popcorn.
Oh, no.
Help.
I'm being attacked.
Can I see one of my teammates?
You got to put like a bit more like you you gotta get some drama in the in the tone as
well you know but yeah okay sure i didn't realize i was in the game so you guys you guys are back
playing boats again are you enjoying it yeah do you know okay i am enjoying it playing it alone i don't actually
enjoy playing it with people because the games are just skewed completely when you play with
your friends and everybody is a different rank or whatever the matchmaking just breaks and you
just end up playing against people that aren't fun to play against right but if i play on my own and
i play like strict solo queue ranked or whatever the
games are great like everybody's more or less the same skill level or whatever and uh it just it's
just a much more enjoyable experience for me that's interesting yeah that's how it's straight
it's a funny game dota isn't it like i love and hate it and i don't know it's just i do i have
been playing it and i'd like playing with sips but i i know what he means like i love and hate it and i don't know it's just i do i have been playing it and i'd like
playing with sips but i i'd know what he means like i think something it feels like when you play
an unbalanced game it's like you either stomp which isn't really fun or you get stomped which
isn't fun like it's better with those games to get close it it is fun but honestly the most fun
i've had um playing dota recently has been doing um single draft
because oh i'm all about single i think it's just i think it just levels the playing field really
nicely too you know people can't just like you don't just get yeah like you sometimes get unlucky
so for people that don't play dota there are different queues that you can join there's just
a queue called all pick unranked which means that this match isn't going to affect your mmr like
your your skill
rating in the game. Because as that goes up, you get queued against other people who are
also high skill level. So imagine you're ELO in chess or whatever it is, right? It is called
ELO, isn't it?
Yeah.
In chess.
Yeah.
So it's like that. So unranked is you're playing against people that are around your skill
level, but this game isn't going to affect your rank. Then there's ranked, which will affect it.
And then you have other modes, random draft,
which is when half the heroes that are normally available to pick from
are grayed out and you can only pick from the remaining 50% is random.
And single draft, which gives you three heroes to choose from
out of the pool of like 120.
So you only get three heroes to choose from.
Everybody only gets three heroes to choose from.
Sometimes that means you get three heroes
you've never played before or can't play very well.
Sometimes it means you get your best hero
is one of the three, which is great.
Sometimes it means that the draft
that your team comes up with,
the five heroes your team comes up with is just shit.
And you're like, we got fucked by a single draft,
which is like a nice easy excuse if you lose the game.
And the other alternative is that you
just get this brilliant team of five.
You're like, this is perfect. We've got someone for every
lane and everybody's happy on the hero. Fantastic.
But what you don't get
as much, anywhere near as much,
is queuing into people who play one hero
really fucking well and
they just spam that hero and win and win and
win because they're just experts on that
one hero. If you get them on any other hero,'re shit yeah but on this one hero they're fucking gods
so there is a there is a tool called dota.pl.us which is an overlay that you get for dota that
shows you your opponent's most likely picks and their specialist heroes right so i've a couple
of my mates that i play with uh you guys know sinny i play play with Cine. It's like, he'll always be like,
oh, we've got a Meepo spammer, guys.
So you'll ban Meepo.
Although no one would ban Meepo at the moment.
We've got a Morphling spammer,
spam Morphling, you know, ban Morphling
or counter pick it.
So that's a kind of extra tool
that I don't really like
because it kind of ruins it.
But at the same time,
if you're just going to fucking pick Morphling every game
and roll noobs with it, fuck off.
You know what I mean?
You're a subhuman scum. Morphling, nobody likes Morphling every game and roll noobs with it, fuck off. You know what I mean? You're a subhuman scum.
Morphling, nobody likes Morphling.
Well, it's the same with the pro stuff.
I mean, Dota is balanced around the pro scene,
and the pros can ban their, you know,
this guy's a brilliant fucking IO.
You're going to ban it, right?
Because you know who you're up against.
I don't think this is broken.
I don't think so.
It is just annoying sometimes because you think,
is it fair that something that has essentially been created outside the game that not everybody has
gives some people an unfair advantage possibly that's all i'm saying yeah i mean yeah maybe it's
yeah it's it's one of those but honestly like i i like the the flow of the game i like i like the
mechanics of the game i like i like to to improve in areas that i'm not good at in the game
which is let's face it all of it and um it's it's it's it's nice it's it's been fun but um there's
there's traps that you can fall into playing it for sure and i think the the one thing i really
like about single draft as well is that you're you have less responsibility it's like it's kind
of like guilt-free dota right because everyone's
kind of in the same boat unless it's you know somebody gets their big hero that they're good
at or whatever but even then they get such an advantage over the other team who might not get
heroes that they're good at sort of thing right but i just look at it as a way to to try out new
heroes and not feel too bad about sucking really bad with them or letting the team down and stuff
because i don't think anybody cares you know i think anybody who cues for single draft is just like whatever i'm
just fucking around i just yeah it's just a bit of a laugh and yeah so it's kind of a nice way to
play the game and uh i just sort of i i weave that in between playing ranked which i usually just try
to play support or like try try off laning or whatever and that's that's been fine too and um
yeah like i mean it's early days i mean it's
it's dota is kind of like uh like it's like a cycle right you you get back into it not for you
so much flax but for me for sure like over the 10 years it's been out i'll get into it i'll play it
for a couple of months or whatever and then i'll just get sick of it and move on and play something
else or whatever and then come back to it so it's like it's it's it's nothing new really you know
like i've been here many times before but for now it's fine it's got a fun gameplay loop yeah right
it's it's fun to level something up from one it's fun to like pick all the talents and skills it's
hard to try new things and new heroes and do that it's a little bit of like playing it feels like
playing i know diablo or some or an rts or doing some some like game where you just rapidly experience
that leveling up system and progress and trying out new skills and playing a different way it'd
be fun if there was a battle royale game like dota you know like the same sort of like the
isometric with the heroes of the leveling up and stuff like that they had that as a one of the
seasonal games that they had it was like a about yeah that'd be kind of
i could be wrong it'd be chaotic as hell but it could be fun this month this month i'm gonna hit
10k hours on dota because i've only got 63 hours to go and i'm definitely gonna hit that this month
because i it's the 4th of november so i'm definitely gonna play that many hours 10 000
hours it's a lot that's which is crazy like that that is so much time
how many i think i've played maybe wow that much that's the only game i've played anywhere close
to that much and even then i don't even know if it's i've played it that much it's a lot that is
416 days that's like 10 of my life over the last that's actually more than 10 of my life
about it now hang on a second he's having a crisis. It's okay, P-Flex.
Over the last nine years, that's about 15% of my life, I think,
was something crazy like that.
Yeah, but if you enjoy it, though, I mean, that's good going.
Oh, I fucking love it, son.
I love it.
Yeah, if you love it, then that's good going.
But yeah, no, it's been fun.
I've been playing some other stuff as well.
I started playing Darkest Dungeon 1 because I played Darkest Dungeon 2,
which I enjoyed.
I mean, it's still early access you can
tell there there's still some stuff to be added to the game or whatever but i i think personally
it's it's it's going in a good direction so i heard they changed it they have changed it a lot
because the core mechanic of the old game was that you built up not just a team of four but a roster
yeah of lads that you would take out with you on different quests. Yeah. And they would get mental problems, like mental breaks,
where they'd be like, I'm paranoid or whatever.
Yeah.
And they would have to take breaks.
But this time, it's your four guys from the start to the finish,
and it's more like a roguelike.
Is that correct?
It is, yeah.
So the new mechanic is amongst your four guys.
It's like a love-hate sort of relationship mechanic sort of thing right so
like uh sometimes you know like your your guys will just start not liking each other or being
neutral to each other some might start liking each other whatever and then as you perform actions
when you're fighting and stuff like that you know kind of like in the old game like crits are are
big right you get a crit and then you know a guy might be like hey good job
and like it increases their relationship or you know they might miss or something and the guy
behind might be like you fucking suck i hate you and then it's like like a detriment um it's it's
interesting but again like i think i think some of it is not fully fleshed out because it's it's
very early access but it looks great like it looks fantastic and
yeah darkest dungeon 2 is terrible i can't stand it i i've wow it's imagined if slay the spire took
like seven or six or seven hours for a run that's where it is at the moment right it's so slow
there's like a minute of driving a cart between each point on the map and it's after you've done it once
you're like that's fun after you've done it a hundred times you're like this fucking sucks
why am i driving a car though you just i'm not waiting a minute between each fucking battle
those battles take long enough anyway like oh the battles take so long you just have to walk
through animation is so long and everyone's thing oh i'll help you and inspired inspired
like all the time and the damage is like oh i've done two damage to you everything just takes way
too long in the game and then the itemization is so bad like sure like i'm sure the pros are all
like oh this is a really good item but half the items i found were like this gives you 10 bleed
resist like fucking 10 bleed resist i wouldn't give? I wouldn't equip this item if it gave 100% bleed resist.
Do you know what I mean?
And then the other item I got was,
oh, you regenerate 15 health per turn.
And I was like, oh, well, that basically means
that guy is now unkillable
because of the way the game works.
So it's like items that are absolute shit,
items that are absolutely broken.
And I just completed my playthrough easily,
the first one, because I had this item
which healed my guy 15 health per turn.
That's crazy.
It was stupid.
And I was so bored.
It was just so easy.
And then the next playthrough, I tried some of the new characters,
and they were exactly the same as from the old game
with exactly the same abilities.
And sure, like, oh, it's nice to see it again.
But, like, where's the new stuff?
Like, where's the new fucking stuff?
Like, sure, it's a new game mode.
But, like, and the graphics are nice because it's all 3D,
and it looks cool. And the enemies, some of the enemies are new and cool. But, man, it just takes so fucking stuff. Sure, it's a new game mode, and the graphics are nice because it's all 3D, and it looks cool,
and some of the enemies are new and cool,
but, man, it just takes so fucking long.
Like, Darkest Dungeon 2, no.
Wow.
It actually made me want to start off tip again
and start making these comment videos
to just warn people against stuff.
Because all the reviewers are like,
oh, 9.2, Darkest Dungeon 2, definitely buy it on Epic.
No, don't.
It's shit. Well, anyway anyway you'll get a chance to
try it in this year's uh jingle jam bundle uh it's gonna be it's a headliner so uh you know
pick it up and then no i don't know like i'm just not a fan of i'm a fan of darkest dungeon i played
a lot of it you know and i bought darkest dungeon 2 thinking oh it'd be nice to do that again but
no it's it's not good um I was so bored
I was so bored it was so slow I guess I'm just used to playing games that do the same thing
100 times faster like I don't want to run to take six hours I want to run to take an hour or two and
it doesn't need to take longer than that in Darkest Dungeon 2 because you're a lot of the time like
you spend 20 minutes doing this fucking fight against some cultists or brigands or whatever.
Right.
Because everyone's attacking so slow
and they're doing all their animations and blah, blah, blah.
And you get one slime meal out of it or whatever.
It's like, oh, fuck me.
Why do I bother?
Gosh.
Well, I played Age of Empires IV.
Oh, that's great too.
I really enjoyed that.
Which is fun.
I'm not good with micromanagement and stuff like that
nor with macro management, nor with APM.
So I'm really struggling, but it is really fun.
You don't have to play against people if you don't want to, though.
No, I'm playing against the computer.
Oh, right.
But no, the campaign is actually really nice.
It's really well done.
I'm probably going to do that.
But I played with my mate Munt, and we played against the AI. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, it's really well i'm probably gonna do that but uh i played with my mate month and uh we played against the ai oh that's fine i just yeah it's it's fun um he obviously knows
what he's doing he's played a lot of age of empires too right i really it's satisfying
when you build stuff and i love the the mechanics for building walls and all the rest of it and your
little peasants are great the way the language they speak changes as the level up and stuff
like that is great um i just yeah it's fun the buildings you build and it's a gorgeous looking game too yeah it's really nice
and i just thought wow you know i normally wouldn't have got this game but i'm really
enjoying it unfortunately football manager 22 came out oh well yeah because uh bass master ultimate
2022 came out right right so now it's just like same boat yeah same boat i
didn't realize adrian pie was co-op we should we'll play it with i'll play it with old duncan
then that sounds good because me and me and him used to play adrian pies together and yeah you
can play it's like uh there's people playing like i don't know if there's like a ladder system and
like ranks and stuff yet but there's definitely people playing against each other like if you
want to you know like like when starcraft 2 came out there's lots of like little tournaments and
people streaming i love yeah i mean rts i'm not good no i'm not either that's i don't i don't
like playing against other people but i like so i like watching it and uh i could definitely watch
i used to watch a lot of pro sc2 back in the day before i got into dota it was so satisfying to
watch oh i loved it because it was a game i played but then i got into dota it was so satisfying to watch oh i loved it because it
was a game i played but then i got into dota and i kind of lost interest in stark i felt it was
kind of samey yeah but i love seeing the build orders that people go for and oh yeah little
tricks and stuff like that so i would love to watch an aoe4 tournament i would 100 yeah i don't
know if there's been any like big tournaments, but definitely lots of people are streaming it.
Like lots of big old Warcraft 3 players,
Starcraft 2 pros and stuff are playing it.
And it's been interesting to watch.
Let me see who's playing that right now.
Yeah, we could put one together if you like.
That would be fun.
One of the guys I played Dota with, SingSing.
Yeah, he's been playing it a lot.
I've played Dota with him a fair few times.
Oh, there's quite a few Dota players actually playing this.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess it's just people who've played lots of RTSs in the past and stuff.
Yeah, if you're used to it.
I suppose if you've got that right click and move and navigate the map.
But yeah, no, yeah.
Age of Empires 4 is pretty good.
I enjoyed it.
Great tip.
Wow, this guy's walls are so neat. God, everything's so neat.
Yeah.
My town, I just slap stuff down.
Yeah, I know, it's weird. Like, the first time you play it, it's kind of weird to know where
to put stuff and whatever, but yeah, you can organize it out pretty nice.
I swear he's built roads here or something. Good lord.
What is this? It looks like a real town.
Mine is just-
This guy's built a convenience store.
Mine is so bad by comparison.
Who's got a Walmart here?
I'm horrified.
Man, oh man.
Yeah, no, it's been good.
So yeah, I've just been playing all sorts of different stuff.
But like I said, I've been playing Darkest Dungeon 1, but mostly on my tablet because
again, the baby just sleeps so well.
And if I'm stuck looking after the baby, like if my wife's getting ready or has an
appointment or something then it's it's a it's such a nice game to just play like while you have
a baby sleeping on you you know yeah it's good i recommend dark essential one but not yeah no two
is really good as well actually well it's early access look it might i think it will but honestly
it's it it's it's it's worth it's worth trying it out because it has changed a lot, but some of the changes aren't amazing, and then some of them are really good.
So, I don't know.
See for yourself.
Don't listen to Lewis.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
You be your own decision maker.
You choose your own future.
You pave your own path and carve your own way through.
Make your own town.
Make your own roads.
Make your own space elevator with corpses on it.
Get your own convenience store.
Write your own flying fantasy book. Yeah, yeah. All those your own space elevator with corpses on it. Make your own, you know, write your own flying fantasy book.
Yeah, yeah.
All those things.
Do whatever.
Just do it.
Good luck.
Just do it.
Just do it.
And God bless you.
Do your own jigsaw puzzle.
Do your own.
Wow.
All right.
We're done.
Thank you for listening, everyone.
We'll see you next week. See you later.
Goodbye.
Adios, amigos.