Triforce! - Triforce! #210: The Jack Off Hostage Situation

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Triforce! Episode 210! It's time for Pyrion to dump those glasses and get laser surgery, Lewis yells at people in the street (daily) and Sips wants to know the best place to jack off without anyone be...ing able to stop you! Visit http://joinhoney.com/TRIFORCE to get Honey for free. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:15 Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Thank you. Thank you for joining us. Oh, no, thank you. Wonderful. No, it's wonderful to be here no thank you no thank you no thank you okay fine thank me thanks to me you gave it real quick yeah how are you guys doing pfax has rushed in uh late today stuck in traffic i was late as well because there was something going on in the town center and the police had all like sealed it all off with that police tape i was very excited i was rubber neck and see if i could see it was there's someone dead or something oh man maybe it's good maybe bristol's gonna have its own convoy like ottawa style so there was a police car that had a had a tire missing it was like just had it's like i don't know it was very windy yesterday right it's gonna be worse tomorrow as we record this there's a it was storm dudley and now we've got storm eustace
Starting point is 00:02:05 descending on us and i heard uh on the news just now that it was like some kind of it's called like a weather pit or something like that someone out there will know and it's basically you've got a weather and then another bad weather and they get together and you get a pit of bad weather and uh i don't know if that's the right. I mean, a pit is normally details. Shmeetails. Yeah. The weather gets right in the pit. Details.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Shmeetails. All right. Listen, the wind is going to get up to 90 miles an hour in London. That doesn't happen in London. It's going to blow things over. Yeah. But there's lots of buildings and stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Right. So like it might cut it down a little bit. I think that makes it worse. It funnels it. Oh, maybe. Yeah. I would have thought that like, if you lived on an open plane and it was really windy that would be the worst right like oh yeah i'm sure it would batter everything you'd have that's when you get want to get in the old weather pit shelter your hair blows off you're like windswept to hell
Starting point is 00:02:58 storm dudley doesn't sound like he could blow much over neither does eustace i mean if two threatening lads came out and said we're dudley and eustace i mean if two threatening lads came out and said we're dudley and eustace you're in a world of trouble now i tell you what my good you need like they need to have more sinister names for storms right to make people more scared like storm agamemnon or something like you know like storm kremna yeah it's got to be like uh yeah names like that they're alphabetical aren't they and they retire the names when they're particularly bad i guess that's because certain people have that name you know i don't know why they give it a human name just like really basic names that aren't really used anymore like storm colin okay like nobody's scared of
Starting point is 00:03:45 storm colin yeah but then when when colin goes crazy and he kills like loads of people colin's not gonna feel good about that any eustaces listening oh my god there are people called that out there i'm sure he's right and they get stressed out we should just call it like storm 378 ab that would catch on wouldn't it no you give them a name you give them a name well it's the same thing with fucking the covid though i mean people it's all right all of these viruses obviously have actual data names like yeah but if it and we're sort of here complaining oh for fuck's sake we have to call it you know whatever the new one is god some greek word it's just give
Starting point is 00:04:26 it just doesn't matter yeah a covet update for you guys my whole family has pretty much had it now oh my god um just yeah my son i think brought it back from school my wife got it my daughter now has it my older daughter has it sorry the baby we think might have it but i mean there's there's not really any way to to check on a seven-month-old baby. I mean, I'm not going to be putting swabs in her nose or anything like that. So, we're assuming that she's had it. I mean, she might not have. But throughout all this, yours truly negative all the time.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Are you a bubble boy? Every goddamn day, I must be a bubble boy. Because you live in a garage away from everybody. I had a PCR test test negative i've had contamination showers that goes through the door man well it's either that either like i i seem to be resistant to it somehow or i've had it already and didn't realize like maybe i was like asymptomatic or something i don't know but maybe you were patient zero maybe i was maybe i was like there was a cool typhoid mary yeah so i guess it's this the new variant which seems not not as bad somehow i don't know like my my my kids
Starting point is 00:05:32 have had it and they've they've sort of fared fairly well with it like they haven't been too too amazing and my wife was like a bit rough with it for like a day or two but not nothing like dramatic you know what i mean like just kind of generally feeling ill you know what i mean like not not debilitated or anything by it so i don't know that can take i just find it amazing how these things just make their way around the world like on i always imagine it's one sick person on a plane you know sniffing away and you see them like the people like other people like shine away from them yeah and they're like bleeding out then their eyes a little bit you know and you're like oh no this is how it gets out the guys at the diner and he's all sweaty and uh or no he's not he's not he's on the ship right
Starting point is 00:06:16 the diner is from space balls isn't it the guy at the diner yeah and it's like the spoof on alien that's right he's all sweaty and uh mum spaghetti and all that kind of stuff and then you know the alien bursts out that's what it's like isn't that outbreak the movie outbreak outbreak yeah maybe dustin hoffman and anyway so back to storm names it's eunice not eustace apologies and from the looks of it the names go male female male male female male female so the next one will be franklin then gladys herman imani jack kim logan apologies jackie's like a very common name yeah and then this storm i don't know how to pronounce this it's m e with a little inflection over it a b h so that looks like an irish name it's probably not pronounced meeb it's probably mave or something like that so apologies yeah
Starting point is 00:07:02 to anyone if i mispronounce apparently we were looking at this thing like the most popular names for babies in Jersey for this year and apparently ranking up there for um for boy names is Logan Logan is a is is a big one yeah after Logan Paul I don't know I just for some reason uh Logan just seems to be a very popular imagine being named after that it's better than ksi i guess that'd be weird or wolverine he's called logan yeah wolverine so do you know why they name storms um for fun it aids the communication of approaching severe weather if they just say there's a storm coming i think that people lose interest if you say storm jack is coming i think if you put a personality on it,
Starting point is 00:07:45 people are more a fear. I still don't think it's a good idea. Whoever came up with this idea, do you know what? It was probably like one fucking guy and it caught on and now they do it and they haven't really questioned why. I don't think it's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:07:55 No, I just said why. I just said why. I know, but obviously- And you're disagreeing with it. You would remember an unnamed storm. No, but the names and the classifications don't seem to be very international though, right? A lot of these names are very English.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Well, you say that. You're not going to phone up France and be like, careful, Hurricane, you know, Herald is coming. They're going to be like, you know, we called it something else. We called it Hurricane Pierre. Well, they do name storms. So fuck you. They do name storms. Let's call them foreign names.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And that way we can be angry and we can stoke the fires of our innate racism towards foreign cultures yeah let's call it let's call them all french names well they ask people to send in their suggestions for future names but there's some very typical french names that you can think of off the top of your head well besides pierre besides pierre that's the obvious one. Jacques is a good one, yeah. Michel. Michel, yeah. For a man, Michel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Mathieu. Mathieu. Jean. Jean. Yeah. Jean. Yeah. Jacques.
Starting point is 00:08:54 We have run out. Eric. Very quick. Guy. Guy. Yeah. Guy. Jean-Guy.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Yves. Jean-Guy Tupperware. Guy-Pierre. Mathieu-Pierre. Yeah, they helped out the whole thing. See, there's a ton of them. There's Tupperware. Guy Pierre. Mathieu Pierre. Yeah, they helped out the whole thing. See, there's a ton of them. There's tons, yeah. So, by the way, if we have...
Starting point is 00:09:10 So, we don't have Q, U, X, Y, or Z. Storms never start with those letters. Why not? What about Quentin? They just don't. Because otherwise it would just be Quentin over and over again, and Quentins will get really pissed off. What about Qbert?
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's not in there. Hurricane Pac-Man. Well, yeah, P is in there. you can have a hurricane pac-man and this way when if they name it brian in america when it gets over here and we're on our b we'll call it brenda or whatever we're on so it maintains the b so we know it's storm b of the season storm c storm d it's only a matter of time before the brands are gonna get on this and it'll be fucking Storm Doritos. Hurricane Pepsi. Hurricane Pepsi Max. Yeah, but would you want
Starting point is 00:09:49 your brand associated with that? Well, exactly. That's why I'm saying why would people? I don't want a Storm Lewis killing people. I'm sure there has been a Storm Lewis.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I'm not cool about that. Well, tough shit. There's already enough problems with Lewis Hamilton. Tropical Storm Lewis. Lennox Lewis, other people with my name. Fuck. There you go. There was a Tropical Storm Lewis. Lewis Theroux. It's a French name as Lewis Hamilton. Tropical Storm Lewis. Lennox Lewis, other people with my name. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:10:05 There you go. There was a Tropical Storm Lewis. It's a French name as well. So it happens. Yeah, Louis. There was a Tropical Storm Lewis. There was. What about Ted?
Starting point is 00:10:13 Was there a Storm Ted? I'm sure there was. No, mate, I'm the Storm Ted. I'm Storm Ted. I embody it. I guess it would be Edward. I suppose there's probably loads of them. Edward's fucking everything.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Jedward. You can't move for Edwards in Britain can you they bloody did everything built the schools as King Edwards and potatoes
Starting point is 00:10:32 and they're everywhere what other place it's a grand name your name's slapped on it it's like a cheap bit of royal branding I don't want my name slapped on a potato
Starting point is 00:10:40 where where where well I mean you're not far away anyway. Look at your big round potato head. Jeez, that's not nice. Tell us how you really feel. It's going to look even more like a potato because I'm going to get the eye surgery done
Starting point is 00:10:57 so I don't have to wear glasses anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. Nice. Man, I feel like you do you, but honestly, I feel like you've worn glasses for so long, I think you look really good in them. I'm used to you with them. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Thank you. But they are a massive fucking pain in the ass. I mean, I know. Because my wife wears them still. And she's always saying, like, oh, I hate wearing them. I can't lay down to watch TV. There's just certain things you can't hate wearing them. Yeah. I can't like lay down to watch TV. I can't. There's just like certain things you can't do with them.
Starting point is 00:11:27 They're annoying. She's hinting to you that she wants to get the lasers done. No, I mean, we've talked about it a couple of times and she just doesn't. She does not want to get it done. She's just like too squeamish to get it done. She's just happy to carry on complaining about it. So she's just going to carry on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 She's like, she's thought about it a couple of times, but she just doesn't really want to go through with it. Yeah. I'll just complain about something every day and not do anything about it i'm i that's me in a nutshell oh me too man i think it's a i think it's one of life's great um joys and privileges to just complain about stuff i love complaining it is well i i hate it they fog up they get wet they get smudged you have to constantly be aware of things banging into them you've got to keep getting new ones if you you worry about your glasses if you're going to win holiday i take like two spare pairs with me oh yeah because if i'm driving and one of my i lost a pair i got a brand new pair of glasses went in a pool someone splashed me they sunk to the bottom
Starting point is 00:12:21 of the pool i had to dive down to get them and they'd scratched on the bottom, the rough bottom of the pool. And I was like, these cost me a couple of hundred quid and now they're done. And they were like perfect glasses. It's that kind of shit. Did you not get the scratch proof coating? Doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Nothing could have prevented this. Nothing could prevent it. I know. I know. It's all a big scam. They have to, they thin your lenses. Oh,
Starting point is 00:12:41 you don't want to have the thick lenses. You want to have them thinned, ultra thin. Fuck off. It's like the upselling that goes on in those fucking glasses places. And it's just, you know, it's like you just feel like everything, you're constantly adjusting them. You're constantly cleaning them.
Starting point is 00:12:56 It's a massive pain in the ass. They always get you to buy two for one as well. And then like you only really like the one set and the second set you didn't really think about. And so they're just there and they're shit yeah and you hate them oh god anyway glasses get the lasers dude it's worth it but think it's my i got my laces done like laces done like it's like 70 years ago now probably damn that's how long we'll be doing this you have to you have to redo it every once in a while right 15 years every 15 years well my eyes are back to normal basically now
Starting point is 00:13:26 i can't i really need to wear glasses again but i'm just like refusing i don't have to drive and i don't go outside so right you know if there's a sign i can't read i just walk closer what about um like i i don't want you on my on my csgo team though with eyesight like that do you ever consider that? I want somebody who can actually see. But my close range vision is totally fine. It's just like when I'm at the cinema, things are a little bit blurry. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:13:54 It started to get to that long range vision started to go again. You can just get it redone. You can get it redone. No, I could. But the thing is, it is a little bit of hassle. And it's not that bothering me at this point. But when it does bother me, I will do it. But, no, it's so freeing to not have to wear glasses, God.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Like, one of the things that was worse was just, I think you're just constantly aware of your movements when you put glasses on. Right. Because you don't want to knock them off or bang them on something. And you're also, like, you can't really lean over. You just feel automatically more have either of you guys ever been punched in the face before like with glasses on not with glasses on so do you think it's true what they say like you shouldn't punch a person with glasses you really
Starting point is 00:14:34 shouldn't you can bind them like i don't think you should punch anyone but you could hurt your hand a lot more too right like if that's one of those sayings that allow that that says there is a good time to punch someone they think you've got to punch someone I'm a big fan of the runaway just run away you don't need to punch someone what about running away but then doing like a spin move in the air and a punch
Starting point is 00:14:56 like a retaliation I'm more of a verbal kind of guy I'll call someone an old bitch or a stinky cunt or something right to their face in an aggressive way as well I'll call someone an old bitch or a stinky cunt or something. Right to their face. Right to their face. In an aggressive way as well.
Starting point is 00:15:10 While they're wearing glasses. You can't insult someone if they're wearing glasses. I don't know if I've ever seriously called somebody, like told somebody to fuck off or enrage. I've done it. I don't know if I have ever done it. I've done it on the street a few times. Really? Like you just told somebody to fuck off, like fuck right off. Yeah, I called someone i ever have i've done it on the street a few times yeah like you just told somebody to fuck off like fuck right off yeah i called someone a
Starting point is 00:15:28 miserable cut the other day in the street really yeah i mean i i think it and like maybe mutter it under my breath like if i'm in the car it has to get to a point though there has to be a step it would have to be a very dramatic point for me to outwardly express. They have to be doing something deliberately arsey or annoying to me. I don't know, like beeping, like, you know, like in a traffic light, but beeping a pedestrian. Man, I must be just really passive. I would just walk away. I would never say anything. The thing is, you do need to leave the house to get into it.
Starting point is 00:16:04 That's the problem. No, I mean, I've left my house like once or twice in the past and also people on jersey are nice i think there's some other people in bristol city center are cunts so you know there's more opportunities for me to see you say that i'm sure there's some cunts over here as well i mean i'm not i'm not going around calling everyone a cunt i'm just saying that sometimes it comes out like It sounds a bit like that. It does sound a bit like that. I mean, we know about your dark passenger, the times with your personal trainer and stuff. But I'm ready to, like, run away if they, like, posture aggressively towards me. Or, like, you know, maybe they're getting out of their car or off their scooter.
Starting point is 00:16:37 But mostly they're trapped. Yeah. You know, it's like a guy on a motorbike, you know, or something. You're right. There's no way he can catch you. Well, no, but often he'll have to drive on to like the the other bit i mean i'm usually safe in my you hide behind a bollard have you ever been so mouthy with somebody that they've like then turned aggressive and you've
Starting point is 00:16:57 had to run away from them yeah yes really i have a couple times it happened to us at university man that has to feel pretty bad though, right? It was horrible. We were in our house and there was a guy on the other side of the road cycling and we were all leaning out the window because we were drunk and just having a laugh. We were on the second story and there was this guy going past and we were saying, bicycle, bicycle at him for no reason. And he was going down, this is in Plymouth the on north hill there and he did a big u-turn and he started coming up our steps and because we were young idiots we said oh he must know
Starting point is 00:17:30 somebody here but he went into our garden we said what's he doing in the garden and he found a massive log in the front garden and threw it at the window no way yeah and he was shouting fucking come down here you can't fucking bury it we were like it was terrifying it was terrifying some people have an incredibly thin skin it turns out like some kids say bicycle that's enough that's like the thing is that you know what people you know in tv bullying is this thing where you know people are like punched and like like like like i don't know the whole the whole tv bullying is completely different to real bullying real bullying bullying is someone going, bicycle! And that bothers you to the point where, you know, you're thinking about it all the time
Starting point is 00:18:12 and you hate the guy. He'd had enough. And you're, like, thinking about ways to just destroy him. But your ways to destroy him are, you know, maybe chucking his notebook in the river. Yeah. Where are you going with this? I never said anything in this situation i'm about to describe but we had a very unsettling encounter one time
Starting point is 00:18:32 not directly but it was when my my son was uh was born maybe he must have been maybe like one and a half like two years old he was really little we were at the beach one day and uh it was like you know 11 o'clock in the morning or something and we were just at the beach one day and it was like, you know, 11 o'clock in the morning or something. And we were just at the beach. It was a really nice day. So the beach was a little bit busier than usual. I mean, granted, it was like a weekday. So, you know, people were still at work and stuff. It wasn't super busy, but we were just sitting there and he was playing in the sand and stuff. He was having a good and um this this guy was just like walking around and singing really loud and like looked pretty drunk right and he was um he was just like stopping he
Starting point is 00:19:12 would stop to like everybody along the way and be like all right how's it going like singing and stuff like just didn't seem to have a care in the world sort of thing but then and and that was fine we were just like oh whatever you know just like let our son play like just ignore this guy um but it was like a little bit sort of like well you know what what if he like turns or whatever and then sure enough he said something to somebody and somebody sort of challenged him or you know told him to like go away or something and he immediately turned you know like he was he seemed like this like sort of like you know carefree singing happy guy and then instantly he was just like it was it was a woman as well and he was he seemed like this, like sort of like, you know, carefree, singing, happy guy. And then instantly he was just like it was it was a woman as well. And he was like, you fucking cunt, you fucking bitch and everything, like just going crazy.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Like it was really something. Some people are just on a knife edge. Oh, man, it was it was it was really shocking. And it's one of those situations where like, what do you do? Nobody did anything like there was there were plenty of people around. Nobody did a thing. Like everybody was just like, oh, my God, like I am not getting involved with this guy because like you're just going to get battered. Like, you know, if he if he can turn that quickly over something so stupid.
Starting point is 00:20:18 She was nice as well. Like she was like, oh, you know, we're just trying to have like some quiet time here. Just leave us alone, please, or whatever. Because he was like pestering a bit, right? Like he was he was just being like a bit like like a bit of a lout, you know, he's just like singing and just being just being like kind of an arsehole. But like thinly disguised as like charming or something. I think some people hang around a place and look for this, though. Yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:20:46 place and look for this though yeah like they i guess i mean i guess like if most people where they're out they're going somewhere or they're going to do something or they've got something to go back to do right there's this this it's kind of the passerby attitude where it's like nope sorry i'm doing this thing whereas some people are just looking they go out there and they're like they're in a bad mood and they're looking for someone some provocation yeah to justify their mind i guess it's just that little step and they're like oh okay this guy did this to me and now i can fight him or whatever yeah um yeah it's it's really unsettling though just to think how sort of fragile it all is you know like you go somewhere and you you know like you you take part in society or whatever and you're you're under the impression that you know like day to day nothing really happens right like you can go somewhere generally
Starting point is 00:21:31 there's like law and order and stuff and you're you're you're you know you could you could sit at the beach for example and and probably not be um accosted or whatever but then something like this happens and you realize holy crap like if there were more people like this it would just be anarchy right like there would just be no way to control like all all of this but luckily they're few and far between i guess i don't know it's just yeah it's a weird one isn't it i think they are rare i think i i i don't actually really shout at very many people in the street i love the turnaround now after the upsetting story i'm not looking for a fight and i'm not that's not me by the way guys i'm not really bad that's not me i'm not i don't know like i guess i'm not that guy i'm not hang i'm not on a knife edge ready to
Starting point is 00:22:17 to pop um well maybe i am god who knows uh so i go through some news yeah you just don't know me is all i'm saying. No. Yeah, you're a loose cannon. A couple of pieces of news. This is old. Did I talk to you about this last week? Maybe.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I forgot. Anyway, last week I noticed that Jeff Bezos. Yeah. Jeff. Jeff. That's the right name. That's a Jeff name, yeah. That's a Jeff.
Starting point is 00:22:41 He's building a 500 million pound super yacht in Holland and Netherlands. Sure. Dutch country. Yes. Gosh, man. This is the worst newsreader ever. The mast is so high that they're going to have to dismantle a bridge in order to get it out of Holland. A historic bridge.
Starting point is 00:23:04 So people in this town are very unhappy. Why did he have it built there, knowing that this might happen? Why didn't he build it somewhere else? Because if a problem comes up, money can solve it. Yeah, exactly. Also, surely it's easier to take the fucking mast off and put it back on the other side,
Starting point is 00:23:20 rather than take a bridge down. That's moronic. Well, apparently it's one of these wireframe metal bridges, though, and apparently it can be taken down. And so it's going to be built up again and fixed and stuff. But apparently it's just cheaper, I guess, to do it that way round. And so the Dutch are obviously unhappy. But where's he going to park it?
Starting point is 00:23:37 His yacht. Where's he going to park it? Yeah, because there's bridges all over the fucking place. Every time he comes in anywhere, he's going to have to have a bridge dismantled. What a flex. I don't think that's how rich people think, though. I think he just has to have it.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Brazos is coming for your bridges. Out of my way. Him buying this thing is just like him buying a new Rolex. It's just a status symbol. You think he's going to buy that and use it like once and then just be like, I'm done. Sinking. Like, I don't want it.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Yeah. He's just just gonna fucking poke a hole in it and yeah drop it into the briny deeps and then go down and with his submarine that he's gonna commission and when we went to uh when we went to ibiza a few years ago for a summer holiday um we went down to the there's a big sort of key area there and it's just teeming with yachts right yeah i've definitely spoke this before. And there were just like dozens of these huge fucking yachts. There was one that was like a four-story building as a yacht, and it had the hot tub with the babes in it
Starting point is 00:24:34 and like the table with the older dudes sitting and doing business while their sexual playthings bathed. Yes, bathe in the bubbles. I shall return soon. I just have some business to attend to. And I'm, bathe in the bubbles. My new tape. I shall return soon. I just have some business to attend to. And I'm sure Bezos is the same. Yes, I've got an important
Starting point is 00:24:49 Zoom meeting about the coffee machine in the office. Yes, I have some business to attend to about repairing the bubble machine that you broke
Starting point is 00:24:58 with your frolicking in the bubbles. And I have to have a bridge taken down to fit my yacht through. Take the bridge down. Take it down. But, sir, it's all the bridges in London. Take them down.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Take them down. No, the bridge is falling down. That's what I'm going to sing when I ride through my fucking yacht. All the way to Paris. You're right. It is all the rich and famous who have their yachts in ibiza it's like a party place right ibiza is it still is it still like a party destination i know it was like uh majorly in the 90s but i don't know well yeah it's like it's like the big the big dance culture scene but also
Starting point is 00:25:40 no like it's one of these places that the super rich of like new york and people like this go over to in their yachts or rent yeah like jay-z and beyonce's yacht you ever seen that bad boy yeah i think so yeah i think that's one of the places where certain like groups of rich people in in the in the know go so yeah ibiza is like a focal point there and and back the fly out it was all like there were a couple of other families like us and then it was all young people and they were all dressed up like they were going out already on the plane. This was a big week for them or a long weekend or whatever.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Well, like a normal family or rich family? No, no. It was like young people. Kids going out to the clubs and stuff like that. And then there were other families like us, just regular folk, who were clearly not going to go clubbing. Regular potato-faced folk. Yeah, exactly. And then, yeah. See, that's another thing. I can't wear sunglasses.
Starting point is 00:26:33 I have to get fucking prescription sunglasses. And because, you know, you can't get them updated as often as your regular glasses. All the glasses wearers out there are nodding and going, hmm, yes, yes, period. You're so right. And I know I'm right.
Starting point is 00:26:43 You go to put on a pair of sunglasses, you can't see shit. So you have to have prescription sunglasses. They always look shit as well. And then you have to put your other glasses in a case. You've got to carry them a fuck off. I'm getting my eyes zapped. I'm going to see.
Starting point is 00:26:53 I'm going to see through space and time. Plus sunglasses are one of the most lost fucking items. But now imagine your sunglasses don't cost a fiver from the petrol station. I never wear them either. But if you're in the sun, you kind of need them. Otherwise you're just squinting all the time. I just don't go in the sun either. I just kind of don't like it.
Starting point is 00:27:09 The worst person to talk to about leaving anything involving the outdoors is Sips. Sunglasses? What's the point of doing that? Put me in a dark air-conditioned room every day of the week. I'm good. Whichever comes. So, another news um new zealand known as a bastion of fucking debauchery villainy and debauchery of like of like being good right they've got covid protests going on oh yeah that's right they're similar kind of um in the same following the same trend as the the stuff that's happening in canada in uh in ottawa and toronto right they were they were playing various songs to try and annoy protesters now
Starting point is 00:27:52 i don't know whether these songs would work on you guys so imagine you're a covid protester okay yeah you're mad about something for some reason i'm not even really quite sure what they're angry about but they're mad and they're all out there but they're with their umbrellas it's raining that hasn't you know they've already put up with that right you know that drives a lot of people off yeah right but no they're new zealanders they're hardy folk right they can put up with a little bit of rain they're stood outside the parliament building and you're the police chief and you you've you've got you you you've got the cds from your car oh. If I'm trying to disperse a crowd, my go-to has got to be Last Ketchup.
Starting point is 00:28:28 You know that one? I see. So, in fact, you're very close. So they've been playing the Macarena. Right. Right. But also Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On. Oh, God, yeah. Anything by Celine Dion. If heart will go on oh god yeah anything by Celine Dion
Starting point is 00:28:46 like uh anything by her I was saying I was saying this the other day on stream I probably said it before but like I feel like somebody was there was some something uh you know Adele has won like some gram uh I don't know some some awards. Brits, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, people were talking about like going to see her live and stuff. And I thought, I just thought to myself, and I've thought this before, who the fuck is sitting through a live Adele show? Like that's got to be so fucking boring. Like no offense to Adele, but like it's got to suck. It's like there can't be like be like what you're just sitting there
Starting point is 00:29:25 just listening to her sing like it's gotta be so fucking boring and what are you talking about it's like it'd be like going to watch celine dion live it's the same i agree i would hate it i actually would hate it it's just somebody standing there singing dude fuck me man there's no way it's just someone saying this it wasn't all live music like what's the point essentially it's just just some guy standing there playing i'm saying what's the point of adele being doing live music she's an incredible singer people love her music i'm a big fan i think she's fantastic you go see like celine dion i i would do and report back i would absolutely go see her live she's an incredible vocalist. And then go and see...
Starting point is 00:30:06 Who else do you recommend to see live, Sips? Who would you see live? Well, I mean, we went to see Ghostface live. That was awesome. What were they doing? Just saying a load of words into a microphone? No, but I mean... Just because you don't like it, man.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Come on. No, but it was a fun show. There was lots of audience participation and stuff. I hate audience participation. I hate them. Oh, right. I don't want them to do. You just want to sit there.
Starting point is 00:30:29 I want to watch it. In a bubble and watch Adele just belt out song after song. You want to be there with your little binoculars on a stick. Oh, one loves visiting Adele at the Royal Albert Hall. I think you guys are way, way, way off with this. I really do. Oh, man. You're the wrongest opinion I've heard in a while.
Starting point is 00:30:48 She's probably technically really good, but, man, she's so fucking boring, and her songs are fucking boring, too. I would never go see her live. It just, like, would send me into a fucking coma. Okay. What about Sleep Dion? How would you feel about that?
Starting point is 00:31:01 Same. No, I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan of her. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I would rather just fan of Perks. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I would rather just fucking die than watch that live. Like, it's, oh, God, that's got to be the worst. It's like excruciatingly boring, right?
Starting point is 00:31:14 Like, oh, my God. So they sprayed water on him. Okay. You'd have to do that to me at a Celine Dion concert as well. Just to fucking bring me back to reality. I'd be gone. I'd be fucking out of there. And then they also played children's hits, Frozen, Let It Go, and Baby Shark.
Starting point is 00:31:34 But then, a twist. They were playing Barry Manilow's greatest hits, right? When James Blunt tweeted, give a shout if if you need some help oh yeah this is james blunt's thing now right like he he goes he's he's gone along with the with the ripping of himself he's very sort of like self-deprecating but it's it's actually quite funny yeah he was saying something about like um well i can't remember the context of it but basically i think it was to do with neil young and all of the the joe rogan spotify stuff and he sort of and then james blunt sort
Starting point is 00:32:12 of chimed in and said like he's gonna release a greatest hits album or something like that on spotify but making fun of himself because he knows that fucking everybody sort of makes fun of that your beautiful song right or used to that's the one that got played yeah so i played that an hour late that song sucks now would you go see that live no i'm not a fan that's my point it's just because you don't like it you can't you can't write it off as what's the point like that's it like i don't like celine dion but i'm sure for some people it's a fantastic evening it doesn't and i'm not saying you can't criticize adele but do we even question why on earth people would want to go and see a performer that they the more you're defending adele here the more i'm getting on sips aside
Starting point is 00:32:56 well that's because you're an objectionable bastard i know i am listen up so i obviously don't agree with the covid protests okay but but how do you feel about the psyop of like kind of playing music yeah that's what it is right it's like music to to to to disperse the wear them down and disperse i mean if they could really fuck up if you played something by the the banger boys did it. People would be going nuts. It would be the best party ever. Well, but that's the thing, okay? You've got to think, what are you trying to do with this crowd?
Starting point is 00:33:31 Are you trying to... Get them fucking hyped! Let's go! Well, obviously the point is... Get some fucking Vindaloo going in there. Vindaloo! And then drop Vindaloo on them and see if they stay.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Oh, hell yeah. But the point is that the thing about a crowd is it's like a um an animal right and it can be angry and bored and if you keep them entertained under the guise of and trying to annoy them right you could change the mood of a crowd so it's less dangerous right do you see what i'm saying you gotta you gotta find something that would really put them off big time right like i feel like you're trying to get rid of them yeah protests like you could just on a mega screen with a volume turned up really loud just just loop like 24 hours of gay porn and they'd be out of there immediately they would just be like i am not suffering this i'm not watching two men
Starting point is 00:34:25 having sex or more have men having an orgy no way i'm out of here i'm a christian you know what i mean that would get rid of them immediately yeah maybe they should think about doing that guys really loud as well i i'm just standing here because i believe in our cause really strongly. This pains me. This pains me to watch. I'm having an awful time. Oh, I hate it. God, what are those guys doing? You've got to find something, right? You've got to find something that is just at odds with that.
Starting point is 00:34:56 You guys go, but let me stay here and take this burden for you. I'll watch all of this gay porn. Or some guy says, i've already seen this one it's fucking so boring man i know how this one ends there's a good bit coming up yeah oh shit oh fuck's sake um all right well yeah that was i don't know how i feel about about any of that but um i guess it's something to be aware of if you've got a protest going don't let them don't let them trick you or let them get out of there you know yeah just go home it's time to go home just go back to whatever fucking cave you live in or whatever and and fuck off already with
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Starting point is 00:37:03 thank you I will can just look it up online. Thank you, I will. I will look it up. This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Using the internet without a VPN is like leaving your keys in the car while you just run into the petrol station for a quick snack. Most of the time, probably fine. But what happens if someone comes along and drives off with your car and worse worse even what if your coupon book is in the car and it's gone it's gone
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Starting point is 00:38:32 So yes, thank you everyone. That's expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Three months free. On with the show. I got some news. We got a cat at the weekend. A new addition to the house. Oh my god. So you've We got a cat at the weekend. Oh, nice. A new addition to the house. Oh, my God. So you've already got a dog and a hamster?
Starting point is 00:38:50 No, we don't have a hamster. Oh. No, we just have the dog. And obviously our cat of 17 years died last year, very sadly. That's a good age for a cat, though. She had a great life. It's one of those things. And I said to the kids, look, she's getting on a bit, so be prepared and everything. And they were very upset.
Starting point is 00:39:10 But of course, within 24 hours, they were bugging me for a kitten. So I was like, well, let the ashes settle in the ground before we start replacing her. And of course, we wanted the dog to get settled in and everything like that. So now we're going to get... We've got the cat um and we got her at the weekend she is she is lovely little ginger half persian ginger uh thing she's very sweet she's called bonnie and the kids love her they absolutely love her however introducing it to the dog has been tricky right and i've decided i've done a lot of reading and listening to things and chatted to the vet. And I chatted to a dog walker and a couple of other people about how to do it, because obviously if she was a grown cat, she would have had experience with dogs before.
Starting point is 00:39:53 But this kitten's gone from the house where she was born and lived the first couple of months was all cats. Like they were real cat people. Then she suddenly has a dog. So I thought, how how am i going to do this i have to do it very slowly so one of the guidances said introduce them to each other through two rooms where they can see each other but not interact and i'm like who lives in a house that has two rooms adjoining where there's no way to get between the two rooms but you can still see so it's like that's for people who live in a greenhouse or a glass house or something. I've got a big window in my garage. That's how I live all the time. That would be perfect, right? That's why I don't have COVID.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yeah. Exactly. So I was like, all right, I'll open the door a crack and the dog can look through and the cat can see the dog. That's their first interaction. Gave it 24 hours before I did anything else. And then I kept the dog on her lead and held her outside the cat's room and opened the door and they sort of looked at each other.
Starting point is 00:40:44 And then I let the dog off the lead and kept her with me kept giving her treats and she was very calm and very chill trying to get them close to each other and the cat and the dog are really really close to actually interacting uh and then the cat smacked the dog on the face which i was like great that's what i want i want the cat to show no fear and to dominance because the dog is 12 times her size right like we have the cat weighs a kilogram the dog weighs 12 kilograms it's not a fair fight so i want the cat to take the uh the lead and they're getting there and i think within a week they'll be running about the house no problemo be like milo and otis like uh for the for a modern time you know but it's really interesting to see they could go have adventures around the city together
Starting point is 00:41:29 they could that would be hype um just let them out but it's interesting to see them react to each other like you're really seeing them try to figure this out and the dog is she's being really good like she lies down and tries to look as sad and helpless as possible to show the cat this is i'm not a threat you know what i mean and the cat look as sad and helpless as possible to show the cat this is i'm not a threat you know what i mean and the cat keeps hissing and then she'll come over and give her a sniff and then back up and it's like this really interesting dynamic between the two of them and i'm just kind of letting it play out in with with a supervised way if anyone out there knows of a much better way let me know but i thought the very delicately well i'm sure everyone will
Starting point is 00:42:03 give you i think just be careful i think that's what most people absolutely give you advice and follow as much advice as you can and keep keep an eye i would consider buying them matching sweaters like um you know get get your dog a sweater that has like a hand point to say i'm stupid yeah and then get the cat one as well so you know like that's such a good idea. Just, like, have them bond through, you know, like, make them feel like... Shared bad fashion. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:30 It's a sweet idea. But, yeah, it's a fun little science experiment to see them try to get along. And what I've been doing is petting one and then going over and petting the other so they can see that I'm sort of involved with both of them. And when I'm petting the cat the dog's watching me like i see you know and kind of looking horrified and then when i'm petting the dog the cat is like why are you petting that and she but she's also watching so it's interesting to see their their tiny little brains whirring and working overtime to figure out what the
Starting point is 00:42:58 fuck is going on and how to how to resolve this but especially with with big big boss there just like lording over them. Right, so, you know, I'm watching them both sort of thing. Although cats don't really, they don't respect you the way dogs do. I mean, you know, they just don't. They just sort of, you know, they're a bit less. They do their own thing.
Starting point is 00:43:15 They're their own masters. Yeah, they do. They go their own way. But we're getting there. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting. Nice. No, that is interesting. Very interesting.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I would also like to share that my seven-month month old daughter is sitting in her high chair and eating mush um on a daily basis now she's having porridge uh she had some potatoes she eats pasta like just like little tiny amounts but um man she's loving it like she's that's great yeah like it's going it's going pretty good like how exciting it must be to eat food. I love food. I love babies have no filter either, right? You give them something for the first time, and if it doesn't taste right or something,
Starting point is 00:43:54 you know about it immediately. The facial expression, you cannot hide it. It's so funny. Oh, man. But yeah, no, it's weird with the third baby. Everything just happens so quickly you know you're just like you kind of um like you know baby's born and you just think all right time to hunker down and get through like the you know like the sort of tougher times sort of thing but
Starting point is 00:44:15 it's gone so quick it's insane i mean you're so occupied already like you're so occupied with the other two as well this is true yeah it's like when you just got the first everything everything is structured around that yeah one person whereas now you've got three you've got so much else to occupy your your parenting oh man there's always something kind of slots in there it's always something oh my god that's crazy that sounds great yeah it's good uh talking about making babies rich people i saw a thing this week. Is this about Prince Andrew? No. Oh, good. I'll see if you can guess where this is happening. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:49 There is an airline charter company offering couples the thrill of joining the Mile High Club. Jesus. So they've pimped out this Cessna with like a... Like they put like a heart-shaped bed on it and stuff. Las Vegas. It is Las Vegas. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Starting point is 00:45:07 So yeah, they've got two Cessnas, 414s, which literally all they have in there is a twin mattress on the floor, several pillows covered in red satin, and a curtain that separates the passengers from the pilot who's wearing
Starting point is 00:45:23 noise-cancelling headphones. Oh, yeah. Oh, he couldn't possibly take those off. Come on. Also, that's not safe. What if they're trying to get through to him saying, you've got to look out, there's a mountain. Your headphones are a mountain.
Starting point is 00:45:35 And he's just listening. He's singing to himself. And I left. He's screaming. He can't hear you. He's listening to Adele, thinking about the concert he's going to later oh he's so excited so grim oh man yeah going to an adele concert would be i know i mean all the
Starting point is 00:45:54 other people that have done it on that fucking skeezy mattress well i mean it's the same as a hotel you just don't really think about it because the thing is with a hotel it's like you know yeah sure like you know people go there to to have sex and stuff but also people go there like on a business trip or a vacation or whatever right but with this plane you're only doing one thing one thing it's not like oh shit i haven't i haven't been sleeping very well i'm gonna book a ticket on the love plane and just try to get it some kip like you know you're just going up there to awkwardly have sex like on a plane like i don't know well i think i think the the surely the appeal of the mile high club has to be like the forbidden fruit element right it's not like i feel like if you're
Starting point is 00:46:38 doing that it's you're not really part of the mile high club i'm sorry like we have to have some standards here like uh you you got it you've got to be secretly doing it in one of those small ass bathrooms on a jumbo jet because there's skill in my high there's serious skill and i don't even think of cessna can go a mile high can't i know i'll have to refer to cessna maximum altitude yes please do thank you because i mean if if not that's another nail in the coffin for... 14,000 feet. I see what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:47:08 14,000 feet is their maximum. I don't think they go that high. Feet to miles. 14,000 feet is 2.65 miles. Oh, right. Okay. So it can go. So technically, to join the mile high club,
Starting point is 00:47:20 you'd have to be doing it during takeoff or landing. Otherwise, you're in the three or four mile high club. I've been lied to. It should be the five mile high club you'd have to be doing it during takeoff or landing otherwise you're in the three or four mile high club i've been lied to it should be the five mile high club because that's that would be 30 000 feet would be um 5.68 miles maybe they have to like when they're about to come they just bang on the thing and he descends down it's only uh hold it hold it is it? 5,000 feet? Take off now. 6,000 feet? You basically have to get it on takeoff or landing or get them to hover. Or you're not actually in the mile-high club at all. Shocking.
Starting point is 00:47:52 Well, I think multiple miles is fine. Look, I think it's more of a Blue Peter badge kind of scenario, isn't it? Do they confirm? I assume there's a certificate. So they must confirm the pilot is watching i'm telling you a 60 minute flight is a thousand dollars get a 90 minute flight if you're you know if you think you need to take that long fucking hell very optimistic what a boring flight pattern just going around and around
Starting point is 00:48:19 while two people are boning in the back of your plane fuck off uh you could also get a wedding in there for a thousand you could get married in there definitely how much does it cost in there a grand for an hour what a grand to get married in there and i don't know like it's not for me fair enough if that's like your thing or whatever but like oh man i just you can have a romantic three-course meal before sex or after sex you have to stipulate when you would like it like it's all there's an itinerary can i have a curing please can you bring me my dinner during well again i think it's just the pilot and you two so i think you're gonna have to figure that one out does he just throw a bag of mcdonald's back back at the back of the plane although it says um although they've mostly
Starting point is 00:49:06 booked couples they have accommodated groups of three and four people exciting stuff on the plane so um and also 300 bucks extra will get you a ride to the tarmac in a limo and a bottle of champagne to really you know wow live in the high life yeah yeah gosh do you not think it counts luxury some people don't think it counts unless you're flying commercial as well like yeah i think you gotta you gotta be in like you gotta be in economy class on like a transatlantic flight and then you got to be doing it in one of those small bathrooms and is it is it illegal to do it as well yeah god jesus that is like very anti-social behavior like it's you got kids and babies and everything on that plane like you know what what if you what if you could hear it happening jesus no thanks well i think having sex in a public place
Starting point is 00:50:02 is generally considered illegal. It's kind of gross as well. Like, please don't do that. I don't want to happen upon you doing that. Or, you know, I certainly don't want my kids to happen upon you doing that either. Well, look, some people have this bucket list. A little bit of responsibility for yourself, you know? Jesus. I, for one, am all for finding loopholes in the bucket list.
Starting point is 00:50:24 You know? There's aoles in the bucket list. There's a hole in the bucket. Put your dick in it. Go for it. Get in a safe way. There's no law breaking. No children are going to be crying. You're in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:50:38 What happens in Vegas? Or are you technically in Vegas if you're two and a half miles above Vegas? If you're in the airspace, kind of technically you are, yeah. How high does the airspace go? Up to space. And then it's the final frontier up there. It's anybody's game. I'm sure there's a limit. There's a hard limit. Do you reckon you could set up
Starting point is 00:50:57 a pirate radio station above Las Vegas? You could set one up in space. And sell love flights like advertise your love flights on there as well i don't think anyone's ever had sex in space i guess oh no i think i think oh come on i bet you they have yeah you're right yeah there's not much privacy on this shot they're up there a long time man like on the space station and stuff where are they gonna i
Starting point is 00:51:21 mean i know they're meant to be doing missions and stuff but okay maybe not full sex but somebody's jacked off in space for sure oh god yeah but i'm just saying i don't know if they've had sex because they've got cameras all over that fucking thing and i'm sure they're on all the time they probably don't give a shit though really like you're up there what are they gonna do fucking come and retrieve you i doubt it like it costs a fortune yeah but just up there you get up astronaut. You're just jacking off nonstop in front of the cameras. They can't do shit about it. Just spinning like they do when they're showing off the weightlessness. Staring right at the camera.
Starting point is 00:51:54 You go on a spacewalk, totally nude with only the helmet on. Just like, just spinning around. I'm jerking it in space. What are you going to do about it? Come and get me? I'm living my best life up here. This is why I dedicated my life to be an astronaut. Mission accomplished, motherfuckers.
Starting point is 00:52:11 You're finished. I don't give a shit. That would explain why all the billionaires are getting in on it. So just, it must, maybe it's sexist space is somehow better. It'd be the same as like hiring out James Cameron's submarine and going down on a Titanic voyage of discovery. Going down on the Titanic. And just fucking jacking off the whole time when you're down there.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Because who's going to do anything about it? Who's going to do anything about it? You're just like, you know, what are they going to do? What are you going to do? Call you back up to the surface? Hell no. James Cameron is driving it. You're down there.
Starting point is 00:52:39 James Cameron can't do shit about it. You're jacking off. Please stop that. Please stop jacking it in the submarine. What are you going to do about it, huh? What are you going to do do about it huh what are you gonna do take us up i don't think so james i'm gonna carry on you try and stop me it's like a fucking hostage situation we're jacking off oh man there's got to be some other situations where there's just like you're you're locked in right there's no you know you could really you could really develop like a jack-off hostage
Starting point is 00:53:12 situation like that deep sea adventure for sure space like i mean for sure what else where else are you where you you're like so impossible to to get at by people who would want to stop you from doing that you know what i mean yeah i see like maybe a big snow avalanche but like you and your party are safe in a cave or something right like storm dudley's been going maybe yeah i don't know i'm just like trying to like this yeah just trying to think of scenarios where you can pull this off the ultimate prank yeah i don't know oh God, you're trapped at like an Adele concert. You're just jacking off the whole time. There's nothing else to do here.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Oh, fuck me, man. In a World Cup penalty shooter, you're on the pitch. You're on the pitch. It's the decisive penalty. It has to happen. They're not going to cancel the game. You would get escorted off the pitch immediately if you start all eyes are on the penalty takers you run it to the center circle and just start bashing one very very tense
Starting point is 00:54:15 moment here are they gonna stop if we pan the camera to the left as there's seems to be a man jacking off on the pitch um No, you'd get out. You'd be out of there immediately, right? They would bum rush the pitch to get you off there. But you just have a string of people. While they're escorting one lad off, another guy runs on. He starts doing it. We get the whole crowd in on it.
Starting point is 00:54:37 40,000 people, one at a time. Eventually, they're just going to say, fuck it. Just go ahead and take the penalty. Someone's going to be lucky enough to be having a wank on the pitch while the final penalty of the World Cup is being taken. You know what a really good one would have been? Remember when David Blaine was in that glass box suspended above Trafalgar Square?
Starting point is 00:54:56 Oh my God. Man, who's getting you out of there in time? You could jack off like 20 times before somebody figured out how to get up to the glass box and eject you from it right like true you could get away with some major especially because the police had probably been like advised in advance that they can't remove you because it's it's a trick or whatever yeah yeah yeah but they'd have to get the they'd have to get like a ladder or some shit like oh man there'd be no like it'd be impossible for them to stop you yeah they're not gonna get there they would they would be chucking up like trying to drape like a oh yeah that's
Starting point is 00:55:28 a that's one thing they could do actually they could drape a blanket over so you've you've created this this it's a instead of a box which has corners we'll do a sphere and it's made of extra slippery material so they try and throw something which is going to slide off no or you have like uh you you like under the guise of you need ventilation in the glass box you have like a fan installed at the top blowing stuff and then you could just blast some air to like blow the tarp off so you could like start jacking off blow the tarp off and then it'd be like yeah what's up mr saturday night's here i'd love it if like david blaine he was going into his box and all he had brought in with him was like a tub of vaseline and a box of tissues he's just
Starting point is 00:56:14 lubing up is that is that all you need for a week in there he's like yeah well he's not he wasn't allowed to eat or was it he was allowed to drink a little bit, but he didn't eat for like, I don't know. Was it like two months or something like that? No, surely not. Or a full month. The body is self-sustaining. Also, I'm sure it was a trick. I still don't believe he actually did.
Starting point is 00:56:33 I think it was. But anyway, I think that is a definite contender for a good place to do a Jackoff prank to people. He just do that thing where he does. Watch. And then just think his cock out. Watch. Wow. Oh my god. Fuck me. What the hell happened to David
Starting point is 00:56:56 Blaine? Like where the fuck is he now? He's still going apparently. He's still going? What about Darren Brown, the mind bender guy? Is he still going too? He's doing stuff. Darren Brown's still good. So in 2020, he did Ascension. He performed the David Blaine Ascension stunt, which involved him floating while holding onto a cluster of 52 helium-filled balloons using a harness.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Man, I used to love that shit, like the street magician stuff. Remember when he used to do the trick where it looked like he was levitating off the ground and people would lose their shit and stuff. I loved all that. I thought it was pretty good. But like the big- He got to 24,000 feet when he did the balloon stunt. What do you think he did up there?
Starting point is 00:57:34 Got into the mile high club. 24,000 feet. Oh, crap. That is five miles up almost. So what was the stunt? He went up on helium balloons? Yeah. And then he let go of the balloons and parachute back down. What, just like up style? Like he just-? He went up on helium balloons? Yeah. And then he let go of the balloons and parachuted back down.
Starting point is 00:57:46 What, just like up style? Like he just... He just went up. Yeah. He just went up to see how high he could go. We're just talking about the mile high club. This is one way he did it. Ascension.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Mile high club is what he did. He got up there, jerked one off, and then plummeted to a triumphant. Triumphant in his victory, yeah. It's the mile hand club. The mile hand club. They said that when he um when he did the levitating trick that he would do a much simpler levitation uh for the people to see which is called the balducci levitation which is a very simple trick i can do it you can do it it's
Starting point is 00:58:16 very easy is that the one where you just it's a good trick stand up you just raise yourself up on one foot yeah on one foot yeah and if they're at the right angle it looks like your foot it looks like it's a nice little trick i know i do that one on my kids all the time and they think that i'm like some sort of yeah they think it's amazing like it's like the finger trick it's very easy but then like they always have them there you never see him in shot doing this floating it always cuts to with with like some some actors providing the the left and right sort of scenery of him like five foot off the fucking ground, which is just him with a wire. Like that was one of the weirder tricks.
Starting point is 00:58:47 The one that my favorite is the one where he slaps some glass and the playing card is on the other side of it. But what's clearly happened is the people in the restaurant have quickly stuck that card on the other side of the glass and then gone back and made it look like they're not part of the trick. Like there's all kinds of really, like the one with the fly where he brings it back to life. If you put a fly in the fridge, it goes into a little coma,
Starting point is 00:59:08 the heat of your hand will warm it back up. I've seen all these tricks debunked behind the magic. Oh man, you searched, you chose to broke the magic? I did, because I don't like it. If it's meant to be like, oh, I can't tell you. It's You know, I don't like it. If it's meant to be like, oh, I can't tell you. You know, it's like it's very clever to know how it's done. I like to know how it's done. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Some tricks are so good that you can't figure it out. But most of them you can figure it out. You know, once you get down this rabbit hole, it's very interesting. It's fascinating. Oh, man. The thing is that the best trick is something that's obvious once you know it, but impossible to guess otherwise. And also a lot of them just involve unbelievable sleight of hand skill. Or dexterity.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Yeah, but once you know that that's what's involved, you can honestly appreciate the trick in a new way because you're like, wow, that switch was so slick. Like when you see the moment they make a switch of some kind, knowing when it's coming and seeing it, it's like watching people top deal, you know, or second deal from a deck of cards. When they're holding a deck of cards, you're looking at it.
Starting point is 01:00:09 It looks like they're dealing the top card, but they're dealing the second card. When you know what they're doing and you're watching it, it's even more impressive because you think that is unbelievable. Like the skill involved is incredible. On the topic of rabbit holes quickly before we're done, I watched a bit of the Super Bowl, but I missed the halftime show. Then watched it on YouTube like the day after because it was sort of... It was our era, really. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:33 It was touted to be a pretty good one and like the lineup and everything. And I loved it. I thought it was great. So I went back and watched a bunch of old, you know, like top 10 best halftime shows or whatever.
Starting point is 01:00:44 It's like the Prince one. Yeah. Like Michael Jackson in 93. The Gal Gal one was great. Yeah. I didn't actually watch that one, but I heard that it was pretty good. And then I started watching the top 10 biggest blunders of halftime shows and stuff. So like I just –
Starting point is 01:01:00 Where's this going? Yeah. I just went – I watched just a ton of Super bowl halftime shows and some of them were really great and some of them were holy crap oh yeah pretty bad i mean you know there's so many people watching it's it must be nerve-wracking yeah yeah yeah i love the phase that they went through where they would get disney to do the halftime show and they were all these like big elaborate sort of um sing songs with children and stuff but they all seemed really bad yeah and then i mean the simpsons did that ripoff of it where he they were watching the super bowl
Starting point is 01:01:31 halftime show which never used to be like a a big stage for like big artists like it is now now it's like wow they're doing the super bowl like that's like you know you you pick a really famous person and it's like they it's a, they, there's a huge show. It's like a massive show. Yeah. Yeah. It really propels them sort of in terms of the fans, like they did the halftime show.
Starting point is 01:01:50 Like that is a big deal. Um, in the past it was just shit. I, when did they figure out that this is a great occasion to do an amazing show? I don't know, but this, this year's one was great with Dre and,
Starting point is 01:01:59 um, and Eminem and, and Snoop and everything. It was, it was really good. Really, really well done. I loved the, like, lots of great tracks,
Starting point is 01:02:09 but also, like, just the set and the dancing and everything. It was just such a great show. It was a really clever set. It was really good. Really good. So, yeah, so Adele, if you're listening, maybe, you know, take some pointers. Step it up a notch now, okay?
Starting point is 01:02:26 Sure. Come on. Falling asleep over here. Holy crap. All right. Thank you, everyone. That was our podcast. We'll be back next week with some more.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Until then. Lewis will be back next week. Yeah, he's coming back alone. Be good to yourselves. Peace. Bye. Bye.

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