Triforce! - Triforce! #219: Turning back time to ruin Antique's Road Show
Episode Date: May 11, 2022Triforce! Episode 219! Sips has been getting those dubs in Fortnite, Pyrion discovers some new uses for Thanos' Time Stone and Lewis has reached the age where he thinks Stifler's mum is pretty hot. Go... to http://manscaped.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 20% off with free shipping. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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it's still somehow how long has it been geez oh it's like a fever dream. It's a long old shift. It's a big one.
It is.
We're still on duty.
Yeah.
You know, we're going to keep going with the randomness, the chats that you know and love.
Oh, yeah.
The community updates, I'm sure.
Hopefully, PFLAX has got some emails or notes to read out. He's got stuff.
Don't worry.
We can be critical of. He always comes correct. He comes prepared. He knows what he's doing. He's got stuff, don't worry. That we can be critical of.
He always comes correct.
He comes prepared.
He knows what he's doing.
That's how I roll.
That's just how he rolls.
I'm excited.
So, first off, what have we got?
Go on then, hit me.
I'm prepared.
I'm braced.
I got two victory royales in a row on Fortnite the other day.
You play in Fortnite?
I'm a 12-year-old kid, apparently, who plays Fortnite.
Really?
They did some... they there's um some
wu-tang tie-in stuff like uh skins and stuff like so they finally dragged you in you know
why they added stuff like that into games like wu-tang come on and then this is why this is why
this is why a 42 year old man is somehow tempted to play the game now that there's some Wu-Tang paraphernalia.
They got Wu-Wear in there.
They got some skins.
They got a surfboard that says dollar dollar bills, y'all,
when you deploy it and stuff.
Holy shit.
It's everything I ever wanted and more.
And man, I'm so thrilled to play that game for two hours a week
and get two back-to-back wins as well.
Did you do it on your own or did you
do it with i was in a squad i had some bugs playing with me so it was fine you know but um
yeah it's a weird one like well the thing is now they've changed there's a new mode in fortnite
called no builds uh so you don't have to worry about people putting stairs and walls and shit
in front of you while you're trying to kill them um it's just like a more of a like a traditional other game battle royale yeah so
like apex and all the others like apex and all the other ones yeah it's removed the unique
selling point yeah because the unique selling point was garbage yeah yeah which i think you
know some people probably still like you know likehard fans will still play the build mode one,
but now there's the option to play without,
which seems pretty popular as well.
So, you know, whatever.
It did seem unnecessarily convoluted in a sense.
I mean, it was envisioned as something which it wasn't.
I think if you were creating a game, you'd think,
oh, it'd be really cool to let people build their own little castles and try and survive for as long as they
can well that's the thing you now now sometimes i i think people forget themselves because you're
just looking at an open field and there's just some dude out there flossing and you're like what's
he doing and you kill him and i think it's like a you know when you were able to build you could
build a wall and floss behind it you you know. But now you can't.
So they forget.
They just start flossing out in the open and die.
And, you know, it's game over, buddy.
Like, yeah, you know, try again, I guess, you know, maybe next time.
But it's the community lighter, though, in that sense.
I mean, obviously, there's loads of kids playing it.
But do they take it less seriously?
Like, because is it how sweaty is it?
It's I guess it's not that
sweaty it's a pretty sweaty game i okay like every br is right like it just attracts that type of
player who's like ultra competitive and just wants to fucking click heads dude and like all that you
know there's lots of dudes that dudes and bros being thrown around and um you know like it all sounds really serious like
depending on like who you're watching or listening to or whatever um but again i think most be i
think most battle royale games are like that you know you can't get away from that that mindset
you know like that it's like a like a turbo gamer mindset you know it's not just somebody chilling
out you know making a prison or you know having a nice time planning out some roads in a city or something these these guys are they're out they're
out to kill you know they got the they got the bloodlust they want to win they want to get all
the big victory royales at any cost so don't get in their way you know so they get more digital
trainers if they do more wins i don't understand how there's all sorts of stuff you get there's
battle it's it's all the usual you know addiction keeping you in the game battle passes and this and
that there's like it just shits out little rewards every once in a while that keeps you
keeps you keen sort of thing i mean it's like every game does that now right like there's
different tiers though i mean at least like that you were able to get most of the rewards there was a point where when you played hearthstone for
free for example yeah it didn't really matter as long as you played it you did your quest every
day you could pretty much get all of the new stuff unlocked within a certain time frame but
over time that has shifted to these things just being only if you grind it like 16 hours a day.
Can you, you know, it's feasible for someone over the three months that the battle passes out.
They've done the math.
They're like, OK, if you grind, you know, 16 hours a day of this game for three months, you can unlock everything.
So that way they can say, this game, you can unlock everything.
It's free.
I mean, a lot of the foundation of the psychology is is based in and
around that the the fear of missing out right like that's how you could perceive them to be generous
when where whereas they're not really being that generous like you know you you can get a battle
pass for in-game currency which you should already have on a new account or whatever and then it kind
of starts at like a chain where you know if you
play enough and you unlock that battle pass that you that they pretty much give you you'll get
enough coins to buy the next battle pass right so you can kind of meander your way through the game
without spending money if you like but um you know if you go away for two weeks or something like
that and you miss out on you know some, some exclusive stuff, you know, like the shop is always rotating around.
Yeah, or your parents, like, you know, don't let you play.
Your parents imprison you and steal the credit card.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think if you're really, really into it, you might feel like, oh, crap, you know, I'll never be able to get that one again.
So I just got to play more.
Like, I think it feeds into that, you know, which is be able to get that one again so i i just got to play more or something like i think it feeds into that you know which is not great but here we are you know it's
just that's the way it is i guess it's nice to be aware of it that's all yeah for sure yeah and it
doesn't mean that you can't have fun with these things yeah that's it yeah i just it's like it's
like we're surrounded by spike pits though you know in gaming. Any of them, we could just get addicted.
Like, just get, ooh.
The tie-ins for Fortnite, I guess Modern War...
I guess Call of Duty is the same, right?
They got a Snoop Dogg operator pack now.
You can get...
You can be Ariana Grande in Fortnite.
I do struggle to say that.
Ariana Grande. I'm He struggled to say that. Ariana Grande.
I'm like completely,
I only just like kind of
became aware of her like maybe two weeks
ago. I'm sorry, I live under a rock.
It's because of Fortnite. I love that.
That Fortnite is helping
educate you in like current
pop trends. Oh god, yeah.
It's really useful
stuff for me. like can you dress
up as the the killer oh what's this called um the big the big ghost face yeah yeah no no it's not
it's not like um none of like none of the members are in it it's just like it's like gear you know
like they got a clothing range called woo wear so like, which they made in like the 90s or whatever.
So there's like, you know, Wu-Wear hoodies and stuff like that in it.
So you can look like a 90s hood rat, basically.
Well, not really.
I mean, it's, you know, it's Fortnite, right?
And it's aimed at kids of the day, right?
So it's a lot of like i don't know whatever fucking kids wear
now you know like what's what's the big fashion like that like that workout but not not working
out gear i guess is like the is the one now right everybody's got those fucking um like a shiny
golden hoodie yeah like a shiny golden hoodie and then just like exercise pants, you know, with like...
Facial tattoos.
They have like the meshy see-through bits at the bottom of the leg or whatever.
I think that's like, it's all shit like that now.
Wheelies, are they coming back round?
I don't know what those are.
They're like the...
Heelys.
Heelys, sorry.
Heelys.
Do you mean like the shoes with rollers at the bottom?
Oh yeah, those are awesome.
My eldest and youngest daughter both want them.
And I said I would only get them if Mrs. F agreed that we could all get them.
Oh, my God.
Knowing that she would never agree for that in a million years.
And therefore, we haven't had the horror of watching a child heely towards heavy traffic.
So, yes.
So, you're not going to be the heelie
family. I'm not
concerned about them heelie into heavy
traffic because they'll be fully balanced. I'm concerned
about you snapping your fucking
your fibula or whatever.
Much fibula.
Much fibula.
Man, my kids got some for Christmas.
They asked for some for Christmas and they got some
for Christmas, but I don't think they've used them once.
Like it's kind of.
What do you fucking think?
They've not been outside.
Well,
the fucking pandemic,
the fucking shit weather.
No,
but I mean,
they go outside,
but the problem is,
there's nothing to take them outside.
You don't really want them outside on their own with like something that
makes them go fast,
you know,
like especially close to roads and stuff. I don't know if you feel the same flax but it's like
they need supervision sometimes being near roads yeah there's a friend of um my youngest she went
she went to hers yesterday after school to play and um the two things happen first of all as we
as i was walking to ghetto uh you've got to walk past hit by a car carriageway no oh man you got to walk past a bit of dual carriage is it one of those ones where it
has the bridge with like the fucking uh it looks like like like like you like the the connector
bridge for a prison it's got like they are always utter yeah they look so fucking uh dystopian
don't they it looks like when they were building the town they built that in the very early
stages of the town when they didn't have much money yeah as the town has now grown they haven't
bothered upgrading it's always got like a metal mesh shell over it right and it's like yeah it's
like what is this piece of garbage you know these things cost a fortune i know and then when you
walk through them like on a hot summer's day they stink too right like the metal like heats up and
stuff and it starts to smell i haven't noticed that but i'll keep not only that but like in london everything's kind of the tube or some
motorway has come through this fucking area as well and there's another shitty bridge like near
kind of in a twisted you know dystopian fucking you know it's sad when when you look at older
things um i feel like there was some craftsmanship that went into making it try to
look nice now we're just happy with a fucking slab of metal that we just need to get this through
yeah just put it break down but it just adds to the layers of of disgust that people have for
their environment i think i think we've got a lot to answer but look at a modern house
yeah literally a box there's no attempt, there's no little decorations around the windows.
There's nothing about the brickwork that's interesting.
It's just a fucking box.
Yeah.
Just like the flattest shit.
It's only going to get worse.
Like even over here, they're talking about, um, uh, like, like doing like prefab stuff,
ordering prefab units in from Europe and stuff.
Literally slotting together slabs yeah
shipping containers yeah like there's this new development over the side of bristol river and
it's just it's like called the the boxes or something you know it's just shipping crates
with restaurants in and stuff and it's obviously like temporary but maybe that's good because maybe
the you know economy is to not last the 50 years
that it would have cost to build a load of shopping centres there
and then renovate them.
Maybe that's the new thing.
Maybe we want more pop-up.
No, it'll still be there.
Temporary.
Maybe we should all be living in vans.
Anything that you think is pop-up is not pop-up.
They're all permanent.
These houses that we're living in now were built for railway workers
and they knocked them up because they needed're living in now were built for railway workers and
they knocked them up because they needed some cheap housing while they built the railway
a hundred plus years later we're all still fucking living living in them in this area and now they're
worth a fortune what is that about we all everybody they will tell you this is temporary
it never is because once it's there if you knocked it down if it's popular remove it
it's got to pay to replace it much easier to'd have to pay to remove it. It's got to keep going. You'd have to pay to replace it.
Much easier to just make do.
Believe me, all these shit box houses
are going to be around for fucking ever.
And people are just stuck with these ugly bastard buildings
and bridges.
Anyway, I don't know where to pick her up.
It occurred to me, you know, all it would take
is someone to just nod off for one second at the wheel.
And the car's coming off the motorway at 50 miles an hour
and plowing into anybody walking along this section
of dual carriageway, which is horrible.
But also, she was doing prank calls.
Now, when she was at her mate's,
what they referred to as an old-timey phone,
in other words, a landline,
they called it an old-timey phone.
And they were prank calling people that they knew so they weren't just prank calling strangers like how do
they know like what were they calling them on a landline is why i didn't think kids use them yeah
i like it so that's the whole point is they they thought it would be hilarious to use this old
timey number doesn't come up right right so there's no number does come up but it'll just
nobody's got your landline on their phone if you're a kid calling one of your mates on their
phone and you're calling from a landline they're definitely not going to have the landline number
saved they know all their mobile numbers and it'll pop up it's so and so you know so they were calling
on the landline presumably to conceal their identity but like i said they called everyone
they knew and they announced who they were at the start of the prank call which i thought was also funny the only person who answered
was my eldest daughter so my youngest daughter prank called her she was like what
she was like oh it's a prank call and hung up and they thought that was the funniest thing ever
my eldest i guarantee you was not impressed that is perfect i feel like you're wholesome i feel like with the way the world is nowadays like uh like pranking could backfire so
so badly right like like when i when i was a kid you prank called somebody and it was like
you bozo stop calling here you know like it was like old man old man magoo the baker of the town
who would just get increasingly mad
that you kept calling him with like dumb names like they do on The Simpsons or whatever.
Man, nowadays, like if you prank call someone, you don't know who you're calling.
It could be anybody.
You know what I mean?
There's like, there's all sorts of weirdos out there, right?
What are you talking about?
It's the perfect time to prank call now because we've got Google Maps.
What if you prank call somebody and you're like the numbers are just so available this is the tennis club and then they just they do a flip on
you they're like what are you wearing what um you know what i mean like there's just so many
fucking weirdos out there like your prank would just backfire immediately you'd feel uncomfortable
maybe that's a good deterrent actually maybe all these weird you know fucking mole people that are
beaten off like waiting for phone calls at home um you know maybe that's the deterrent i don't
think people that it's hard to get people's private numbers i think and that wouldn't be
the prank calls but i just think that nowadays like i don't know maybe i'm maybe i'm like more
aware of it now that i have kids but i just feel like everybody out there is a creep and they're creeping, you know?
Like, all the time.
I don't know if they're creeping at work, though.
They're like, oh, come on.
They're creeping at work?
They're creeping at work.
They're hiding at work.
No, wait.
What do you mean?
Like, look at all the recent stuff with companies and stuff, people being creeps and creeping out and stuff.
I don't think people can hide it.
That's true it's much more in the in in the uh in the limelight nowadays right so i'm just saying
be careful you prank somebody you gotta know what you're getting into out there because you
might just have like i'm not going to announce my name at the top of the prank call you know
no but even then like you know you're not gonna know who i am no but
they don't need to know who you are they you could still be subjected to something that is just really
uh alarming and gross you know like i'm just thinking there's probably some some people out
there that are just like waiting for this shit to happen you know they want to do the flip on you
but um you know maybe that's maybe that's maybe that's a fun thing for them to do.
Their whole existence is just to counter prank calls by being weird and creepy.
I don't know.
I feel like this is the point that we're getting to quickly as a society.
Maybe I'm wrong to think that.
Well, no, but actually, so I listened to this...
Do you remember Phone Jacker?
Yeah.
Kai van Novak, who's in What We do in the Shadows TV show, big fan.
He's just done a series of Phonejacker.
Phonejacker was the LCD, the look-a-do thing, right?
That was Phonejacker?
Yeah.
So he's actually, he's resurrected all of those characters and he's done a load of prank calls.
And they're all very kind of wholesome in a sense, because a of people in britain know the phone jacker characters
well what happened there in britain you went britain yeah you i went i don't know i went a
bit kind of i went a bit uh tell me tibbs oh hi it's uh would you like to buy a used car from
terry tibbs he went he does all the voices. I love him.
He's great.
I can't turn it off.
So, no, but I'm a big fan of that sort of prank cool show.
And it's very historical, right?
It's very out of date now.
It's not modern.
But it is so easy to just ring up weird places.
Like, you can just look at Google Maps and find some quirky sausage shop or something, or
somewhere weird, and ask them some innocent silly questions.
It doesn't have to be harmful, the prank call.
It has to be playful.
You have to try and make them laugh, kind of thing.
I don't know.
Do you think some people are just asking for it?
If you open up a chakra realignment center or something something like that do you think that you might as well just
sadly i don't think people are prank calling those places really
that would have just been prime target yeah like i would i mean yeah but i think nowadays i mean
if you walk down a high street now have a look around how many places there are offering acupuncture and all that kind of bullshit.
Nail bars and stuff.
Yeah.
Crap.
They're fucking everywhere.
There's like four around this area.
So would you say nowadays, based on that information, like the field of pranking is larger than ever.
Like, there's way more targets than there used to be.
There are lots of YouTube videos where people prank spam callers.
So, like, they've got a target in mind now.
There's videos where guys will take down these scam call centers and stuff like that which are really good yeah
there's a couple of classic ones where they waste their time and stuff like this deliberately which
is which is quite good to watch but again the thing is it's it's real it's like live stream
stuff it's real hit and miss there'll be one funny moment in a six hour live stream oh i don't know
man when i live stream it's like it's bam, bam. It's like joke after joke.
It's like a waterfall of comedy just slamming into your face all the time.
Slamming out of your ass.
People get exhausted after a couple of minutes. That's why they have to leave.
That's why they leave.
So I did watch a thing this week. Me recommending We All Live in Vans reminded
me of this documentary I watched about the villages,
which is this old people retirement.
Oh, yeah, Mrs. F watched that.
She said it was really good.
Yeah, it's the biggest retirement area in the world, I think, probably.
It's huge.
What country is this in?
The average age there, the average age is like 65.
It's like the oldest average age per capita in any
location or something it's mad do you think that's good for people to live like that though
like do you think that's healthy for them you're like not not and i don't mean just physical like
i mean mentally and stuff too like do you think it's do you think that that's a like a good move
to just kind of isolate yourself from society and only surround yourself with like other 65 year olds or whatever?
Well, we're talking about a very specific kind of person.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you want to live that way, you're
more than likely quite a conservative person.
Yeah.
You want everything to basically be the way it was when you were younger.
You don't like change.
You resent young people and think they're no good and they're ruining
things.
But do these people mostly probably have kids, right?
Right, but their kids can just come and visit them.
They don't have to live with them, they don't have to see them day in day out.
And a lot of these people, they're wealthy and they just want to be left alone.
They want to shut themselves off from the world and pretend like everything is smashing
and go and live in a resort with other old bastards like them what do they do all day though just go they play golf
they fucking play bridge they you know i know people they go to it so they're in the ship they
they have like a store on site that they go to and there won't be any you never need to any children
they have a town they have everything okay they have a hospital and a church okay so
i'm i've got i've got like 10 kids and we're visiting grandma at this old person's retirement
place right and we decide that we need to go to the store and buy some candy for the kids
what happens you go in there and like old mr wilson is in there you know polishing his golf
balls and he's getting mad because there's 10 kids in there like is it
illegal or or do they make i mean it's still in america no i know but like where where does it
end you know what i mean like you like so you're saying you don't they don't want to be around
other people they're okay they accept like the kids of the people that live there already
but i think i just don't want to be around like there were no kids that live there it's a no no but for visiting and stuff right there's going to be people around yeah you're
not going to band no i mean it's not like some kind of old people mafia where they're like you
know you can't come in here kid i just feel like if i was signing up for that only yeah if i was
signing up for that though and i went to the store on the day where like you know mrs mullins kids and
grandkids were all visiting and i went to the store and there was just like a million kids in
there i'd be pissed you know i'd be like i didn't sign up for this i don't want her army of kids
who are visiting today to be here while i'm trying to get my one specific example of the
family who has 10 children yeah for a start that'll be grandchildren stuff i'm
guessing because these old these old people will be will be ancient and i feel like because it's
in florida it's kind of out the way right they'll be visiting grandma for a day and then they'll go
to disney world type thing i get the impression of the old people who live there are people who've
either had their wives or husbands die or like they've just run out of people or
they want to go somewhere hot i mean it's a similar thing that happens all over the world
where old people in britain used to sort of drift to the coastlines didn't they like old clacton and
and these sort of lots of lots of people go to like spain and stuff too right exactly and i think
that there's always going to be a place where old people feel like they want,
because the number of people does tend to decline over time.
And when you're retired, you've got a lot of free time to do these kind of hobbies.
And I think it is that.
It's often these old folks being in all these different social clubs, all kind of hanging
out together doing
fairly gentle stuff it's not like they're doing skydiving necessarily um but i think i honestly
think for a lot of people this will not be a thing when our age group retires i really i can't
think of anything worse man i don't want to be around people my age necessarily when i'm older
like uh you know like i've got kids i just like i'd
i'd like to be around them and hopefully they'll have kids and i'll be around them you know what
i mean like it's just crazy to me that i can't imagine it your parents don't want to be around
you no i know mine don't but mine are from a different generation you know like mine are from
the generation where i feel like they would quite happily live in what you guys are describing like
they would you're from a generation where you feel like they would quite happily live in what you guys are describing.
You're from a generation where you love your kids. They completely would isolate themselves and go to see Pixar movies where there's no kids there and stuff.
You know what I mean?
I know that my dad basically lives like that now anyway.
All his mates are old and he does old person things.
My mom would hate to be in a home like that.
I think she always says,
oh, I hate being with a bunch of bloody old people like me.
And I'm thinking, I know I'm not old, old,
but in the job that we do,
and especially when I go to an e-sports event
or something like that,
everyone there is at least 20 years younger than me.
And I think it's good to hang around
with people that are younger than you. I truly believe that. I don't think, and people that are older than you. And I think it's good to hang around with people that are younger than you.
I truly believe that.
I don't think, and people that are older than you.
You should not evaluate someone based on their fucking age or demographic.
But that's what this is.
It's a selection process.
I think it's the hobbies that we're into, though, too.
Because I know sometimes I'll meet up with people that I used to work with who are not,
they don't game or anything and um you know they'll be like oh yeah i went uh i went surfing on saturday or whatever
like what'd you do it's like i just fucking played 12 hours of games like like i do every day pretty
much and like right to them they're just like oh how do you do that how do you like sit there and
do that i'm like what the fuck you talking about like what you i think a lot of the hobbies you play a game for five minutes like it's not right but if you're fucking
windsurfing with a mate of yours you're not talking to them while you're not it's a it's a
it's a totally non-social event yeah you want to go windsurfing that's cool but don't make out like
you're doing it with other people i'm sure if you go to the pub afterwards that's when you have a
laugh but you know what you could cut the windsurfing bit out and just go to the pub yeah
well most of them aren't even allowed to go to the pub after right because like their their pass for
the day was the windsurfing so like you know what i mean like it's it's it's one of those isn't it
i don't know man i feel like i think a lot of these social things are about finding your tribe
right and it happens a couple of times when you're at school you know you. I think a lot of these social things are about finding your tribe, right?
And that happens a couple of times when you're at school.
You know, you have to find a group of friends that you fit in with.
And that does happen, hopefully, for people.
And then, you know, again, when you go off and go to university, you have to do that again.
And then when you go to work, again, you have to find these groups of people that you can endure and enjoy um at the same time and i think sometimes that
ebbs and wanes you know sometimes you drift away from groups and find new ones and
the documentary like the villages one that we watched i can't remember what it's called so how
do you how do you figure that your tribe is just 65 year olds who want to golf like what like well
no because if you want to do that that's the thing they want to do that who wants to golf. Like what? Well, no, but it's no. Because if you want to do that, then they want to do that.
Who wants to do that though?
No, but listen.
They're these people.
Listen, it's not that.
It's like,
if that's what you want to do,
great, perfect, you'll golf.
But the documentary
follows this old woman
who's there,
you know,
has lost her husband,
moved there,
still has to work,
you know,
and she can't,
she's struggling to like,
she's like trying
lots of different things,
lots of different ways
to meet up
and she's going through
all these things
and none of them are working. You can see she's miserable. And then like, she's like trying lots of different things, lots of different ways to meet up. And she's going through all these things and none of them are working.
You can see she's miserable.
And then finally she finds one where she's basically like this place that just does barbecue garden parties and drinks margaritas and dances in the garden.
Oh, perfect.
And she's like, fuck this.
This is brilliant.
I found, I found my tribe.
And you can really genuinely see that she's perked up and she's actually sort of starting to find.
So these people just have barbecue garden parties and drink. That's it. Drink margaritas. Yeah. That was the thing that she's perked up and she's actually so these people just have barbecue garden parties
and drink that's it drink margaritas yeah that was the thing that she wanted maybe let's go
that was that was her her jam and so i guess i guess the point is that this is such a huge huge
community it's almost like a city of old people um there's something for everyone and i i don't
know if that does extend to everyone sips ie you know if you want a very specific fortnight based um well i mean i'm really into
it now so i don't know this is what they want if this is the way people want to live and they
are willing to pay to do it and they go to live in that place fair enough some people just like
a really quiet oh i'm not saying like i don't have a problem i don't have a problem with it
genuinely really scared of young people it's especially if in america i think very very scared
of young people who are not white right that's like oh my god the country's going to bits because
to them it's like a 98.6 white area that's that's the villages so that's what they're aiming for
they just want they want to feel safe and be
around other yeah there's so many factors that go into this but you know it's it's hot that's a big
one maybe their friends have moved out there and recommend it and they know them and they want to
see them it's an old it's like an old concept though right i mean even seinfeld in seinfeld
they had all that remember jerry's parents and the and they could the condo council and everything.
Yes, you're right!
You think the Costanzas aren't good enough to live in Del Boca Vista? We're moving to Del Boca Vista, baby!
But I still, I just never underst- I don't know, maybe one day I'll get there,
but like, I just, I feel like, I feel like you're just cutting yourself off from so much
living like that, you know? Like-
All right, let me just stop you real quick.
We live cut off, though.
Hold on.
That's how we like it at the moment.
I only see my friends digitally.
But to be fair, dude, you literally live in a garage and play games.
And you're always telling us how you do basically nothing.
Yeah, I know.
So in a way, if you are old, that wouldn't be an unreasonable place to live
because you could just get a garage
and do what you do, and play games and be chill and have your greenhouse.
You don't need to move to Del Boca Vista, you could carry on staying where you
are, you'll be fine.
Yeah.
I think you'll be happy.
I'm just saying, you're doing now what they're essentially doing.
I know I am, but there's more to it than that, right?
What they're doing, they're buying those fucking weird
like white leather shoes that old people wear and like this and like that you know like the baby
blue slacks to go with them and stuff yeah yeah sure you know what i mean like i i find like all
that stuff is just is kind of weird right like yeah okay fine i sit in my garage all day but
like you know i'm wearing track pants and like i like i'm talking like i'm talking to you guys so imagine in 40 years time that will be the way that people i mean i can i can't imagine ever not being online
yeah like you know in the future i'll still be playing games and i'll still be online and
chatting to people and all the rest of it but i could also do that from my house but if if you
know you get older you can't have stairs anymore because it's too hard to get up and down them. You go live in some fucking flat house somewhere.
You sell up.
You want to buy somewhere that's nice with a little garden.
Maybe this is a reasonable price.
You sell your house.
Now you've got some money to live on.
You go and buy one of these houses and live in it.
I get it.
I mean, it's boring.
I hope I don't end up like that.
But I think most people just want to see out the last 10 15 years in peace
yeah yeah i suppose so yeah i think also it's they always say that you know your somewhat your brain
is set in the formative years of the late teens to the sort of okay but nobody nobody spent their
their teens and late 20s wearing like the weird white leather shoes and you know what i mean like it just it's a departure let's see it's it's a huge departure like i i haven't departed that
far from you know well but okay my my teenage fashion sense my teenage there was a time cadence
like it's it's sure you can carry away that divana shirt when you're a lot of the old folks
there are all wearing their their they're not
actually as out of date as you think especially some of them but but also look at the stuff they
wore when they were younger it wasn't uncommon for men to wear fucking suits just to go to a bar
well i guess this is the way people dress they didn't they didn't wear sweatpants and
people who are 65 to 70 year olds now are our parents, right? Like my parents weren't wearing a fucking suit to go to a bar.
They were born in the 1920s.
Like my parents were born in like 1955, you know, like.
Right, right.
So they were, they were grown up in the 60s and 70s.
Yeah, they were teenagers in the 70s, right?
I bet their fashion hasn't changed much since the 80s or 90s.
No, my parents' fashion is like, and since I can remember, has been much older than they are.
You know what I mean?
Like they weren't wearing like, they weren't dressing like fucking like Jimmy Page and Led Zeppelin or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like my parents have always like just had, you know, like like like old people clothes like they just they
always have though like i i don't know it's just i think it's just the default inoffensive nobody's
going to notice what you're wearing i guess so where because if you're living in a community
with old people and you turn up wearing kanye west trainers right and a gold sparkly track suit because that's what
you feel good and people are going to be like
what the heck are you wearing there
what the hell
you think you're carrying you're looking like some kind of
a drug dealer
I'm trying to get my head around
the sparkles coming off your shoes
it's giving me a mind brain
some of my childhood
friends their parents
didn't seem as old
you know what i mean like they were like like like one of my good friends when i was a kid
his dad um and i think even still to this day he's got to be like 70 now or whatever
but he always had he always looked like he was like uh like a roadie for fucking van halen or
something like the way he dressed and stuff and like sure
you've got those guys i those guys do exist i think that you know it's not like no one's
gonna complain when you move into the neighborhood and you go down the street with your heelys i
mean that you're well they will i feel like they will though like quirky people because for me for
me visually like like coming back to the the seinfeld reference and the retirement community
and stuff like you know like the clothes that like jerry's parents wear and and stuff like that you
know like uh that is 25 years out of date though those that generation is dead but i feel like
they're still doing it now though that's what i'm saying you know what i mean there is a little bit
of cross-pollination downwards i mean but at the same time i feel like the things that i don't know
whether it's just that we haven't discovered how comfortable those shoes are yet, Jamie.
Oh, come on.
I just I want to know what point you decide that that's the play to wear those shoes and dress like that.
I think it's a natural evolution, though.
Like when I was a student, I didn't care about having a living a tidy, having a tidy house and everything was a shithole.
And I lived in a mess and didn't wash my clothes and it was i was stinky disgusting and greasy and gross right
but at some point i just decided in my mid-20s or later or recently that maybe i shouldn't live
like that and i'm a lot happier and i think like that's an evolutionary thing i used to be a time
when i would look at like a dad a granddad with his um you know railway
set in the attic and think god that fucking loser and now i think man that's pretty cool i wonder
when am i gonna put that together and start looking at trains you know there used to be a
time when i thought stifler's mom looked old and now i think she looks great um i'm just saying I can relate to that Wait I gotta look up Stifler's mom
Hang on a second
Who is Stifler's mom
He's getting good
Stifler
She's a MILF
Stifler's mom
Exactly
I said this the other day
Like I was just
I just
I used to be
I'd look at MILFs and be like
Oh no thanks
But now I'm like MILFs
Jennifer Coolidge
Let's do it
Jennifer Coolidge
So she's obviously
If you look at her When she was in American Pie,
you know, she was fucking hot as anything.
She was great, actually, in, oh, God, what was that show called?
American Pie Reunion?
It was last year.
No, it was a TV show she was in.
American Wedding?
No, it was a fucking TV show last year.
And she was, like, one of the guests at a hotel sure i remember
what it was called and she was superb in it she was like she's just brilliant she's she's a really
good actor like a lot of actors it's not until they're older that people realize oh they're
gonna see a tv show yeah okay let me see jennifer coolidge uh tv it was called like white lotus or
tv show uh okay movies she's been a lot of shit, man.
The Watcher.
Yeah, she has.
10-year-old Tom.
The White Lotus.
Here you go.
White Lotus.
The White Lotus.
White Lotus.
2021.
She was in Rick and Morty.
Really good.
Rick and Morty as the voice of Daphne, apparently.
Right.
Iheart Arlo.
She was in Legally Blonde.
Yeah.
Bend.
And Snap.
Any fans?
My kids love that movie.
She did the voice of
Myrtle in The Loud House. I don't know if you
remember that. She did the voice of
Caroline in American Dad.
Okay. Well, look, she's
got a lot more. She was in Glee.
She played Whitney S. Pierce for two episodes
in Glee. Still my favorite show.
There you go, fans, if you were worried about what
happened. She was in Napoleon Dynamite
as the voice of Mrs. Jane Moser.
What?
In 2012?
Apparently.
Weird.
Okay, good stuff.
This week's episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN.
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I got a couple of
quick emails. Very quick. Let's do
that. They're not very good this year.
This week. No offense, lads. It's just these
are boring emails. I'm not offended.
No, I'm saying to the people I'm about to read their emails
out. I don't know. I feel like we have a standard
now, and if these ones are below that
standard, I... They are
far below that standard. Okay, well,
let's name and shame and not
read them and then move on.
Caleb, yes,
I would say Yuri Gagarin and Neil Armstrong
probably were also famous test
pilots, but they were more famous for being
astronauts slash cosmonauts,
not for being test pilots, even though most of
those astronauts and cosmonauts were originally test pilots. Wait, what's the context of this? What's the difference? A cosmonauts, not for being test pilots, even though most of those astronauts and cosmonauts
were originally test pilots.
Wait, what's the context of this?
What's the difference?
A cosmonaut is a Russian astronaut.
What's the debate here, though?
When did we talk about this, even?
Last week or the week before,
we were talking about Chuck Yeager
being the only famous test pilot
that I could think of,
but we couldn't think of any other famous test pilots.
Test pilots.
Oh, I don't even remember this conversation.
You definitely spoke about it.
We talked about it. What about that lad,
Evel Knievel? Does he count?
He wasn't a test pilot. He was a stuntman.
He was like... I guess he was like a daredevil.
Yeah.
Like the guy who fell from space.
Super Dave Osborne.
So, Caleb, you know, alright, okay email,
but step it up. Let's have some tales.
I want stories. I don't just want, I disagree
or agree. We need content. That's not that's a complaint that's basically a complaint uh
someone talking about they digitized files for the nhs yeah they're about two weeks behind the
current date and the limit was to digitize week old documents so doctors go back and make change
before they got uploaded that's it okay that's it um i've got a
news article i've got yeah do you want to hear it i saw this this morning just very quickly say
if you have an interesting email to send people have been asking where to send them
period.flax at gmail.com that's it oh my god man it's my the the email address you can see
you've opened the gates of hell by the way on on it's it's there on twitter you can see it for all
concern it's right there just email there
it has been for years
thank you for taking
the falling on the sword
of the mailbox
happy to take the sword
I don't mind
it's not my real email address
that's my work email address
so ship them
so just yeah
please don't sign him up
to stuff though
for goodness sake
oh it's too late
I've already been signed up
to all the fucking things
you could imagine
and somebody out there
subscribed me to Rooster Teeth.
And they have been paying that subscription every month for about the last seven years.
I don't have the login. I can't cancel it.
So whoever it was, thanks. You can stop.
I've never been to the website. I've never logged in because you just signed me up.
So I just get the email telling me that you signed me up and you're paying for something i've been signed up to
scientology nice i've been getting like the newsletters to the official scientology outlet
anything interesting so i don't know who managed to do that are you converted well i i just well i
it's one of the ones i haven't moved to spam automatically do
you know i mean i just sometimes it's just interesting um anyway i read a news article
this week uh about a woman uh in in seattle who um dropped her mobile phone in the the
in the in a toilet in the toilet um but actually it was um one of these toilets in a um national park so
it's like a wooden outhouse type toilet uh and she she tried to retrieve her phone so like a
hole in the ground with uh with yeah like a wooden box built over it so she's like an adventurous
woman she's out you know with her dogs and stuff um and she
she she she she dropped her phone in there and was like shit i really need to get this back
so she took the toilet seat off and tied herself to the outside of the toilet with her dog's leads and reached in for it, but it didn't work very well.
The leads snapped, and she fell in headfirst.
Did she die?
She, however, found her phone in the toilet as she fell in
and called 911.
Right.
And 15 minutes later, firefighters had arrived to rescue her.
Out of the shitter.
Out of the shitter, yeah.
Did she get any-
What a slow week.
It's been a slow week.
Did she get any infections or anything from like-
That was Sky News this morning.
Literally.
Like tons of mixed shit.
Like it's not even just like one person's shit right that's like
i guess it's like a whole melange of of a vibrant you know like um yeah just a just a
smorgasbord yeah it is just like a buffet of shit in there yeah like a like a bit of everyone's
everyone's taken part to help how long do you think that that shit is in there festering like they don't they don't do anything with those outdoor ones they don't they don't
empty i don't know if they do they have a septic tank thing because i know you've got to get that
emptied from time to time yeah i don't know whether she was like neck deep or like knee deep
i don't know how much was in there you know but i know people have have i'd be right died in these
i'd be retching immediately
I'd rather live in the villages
do you know what I mean
than die on a fucking mountain
in an outdoor toilet
yeah
if my phone
if you ever died in an outdoor toilet
email us
that'd be a
fun one to go through even if it was like in reach
i'd just give it up jamin i'd be like do you know what i'll just get a new one fuck it it's
disgusting yeah but okay the idea of getting it what it's never gonna be clean it's never i would
just get a new one but you you would constantly be thinking like, oh, shit, if I don't go in and get it, what if somebody else manages to get it and then they hack my phone?
You know what I mean?
Like, there's too much on your phone now.
It's too important to leave it behind, right?
Well, no, but you could deactivate your phone from the new one, right?
There's ways you can.
Oh, you can?
I'm pretty sure you can do that.
You can plug everything out and stuff.
Yeah.
Well, yeah. Remote wipe. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. You you can do that. Well, you like a remote wipe? You can plug everything out and stuff. Yeah. Right. Well, yeah.
A remote wipe.
Nice.
Yeah.
You want to do that off your whole body if you get stuck in there.
No, but I feel like I don't update my phone that often.
This phone's like six years old.
And I like it because it's like I'm ready to have it break or lose it at any time with a positive.
I'm like, oh, I get a new phone.
Do you know what I mean? Not all these people upgrade my phone every year and I'm constantly scared about it break or lose it at any time with a positive. I'm like, oh, I get a new phone. I mean, not all these people upgrade my phone every year,
and I'm constantly scared about it, right?
Right.
I feel like once it's a couple of years old, I'm like,
oh, fuck, I don't care anymore.
I've got all my money's worth out of it.
If someone wants to steal it off me, you can just have it.
I don't care.
Just let's never.
Yeah, I mean, there's very few things that I would go through to retrieve a phone.
And I would say dipping into a fucking public septic pit of shit is on the list of things I would not do.
It's pretty high up the list as well, I feel.
It's very high up.
Having said that, though, like...
Just fucking come on, folks.
It's gotta be...
I don't know what the circumstances are where your phone is falling
in there, like, um... like, I- I- like I-
Well, I mean, she was only apparently, like, 15 minutes drive from the fire department,
so I mean, like...
Well, they- that was a three-engine, all-guns-blazing response. A woman has fallen
in some poo!
Woo-woo-woo-woo! Here they come.
Lad's sliding down that hole.
We've got to save her.
She's literally neck deep in shit.
Help her.
Oh, man.
Well, no.
That's not what they joined the fire brigade for.
She was stuck, though, I guess, right?
If she fell in, was she jammed in there?
She just couldn't get out?
Yeah, apparently she'd made a good effort
to try and get out before police were called.
Did they recognize that effort?
Like, when they pulled her out?
Say, good effort.
Way to try to get yourself out.
We know it's tough.
We've all been there.
We've all fallen in the shitter before.
I guess it's like a spider in there.
Thank God she had her phone, though.
I mean, you know, relief there.
You know, in another day you know
imagine imagining another before mobile phones if she dropped her watch in there or whatever and
gone in to try and get that well you know something equally valuable you know maybe maybe a hard drive
full of bitcoin hang on um whatever she's um she might not have never got out you know she might not have never got out she might still be in there slowly being covered in more shit
God
doesn't bear thinking about
God
what a visual
when the Thames
I'm sure I spoke about this at the time
in a previous episode
when the Thames occasionally has a very low
tidal ebb
and the water literally comes down to a trickle in the middle of the thames occasionally has a very low tidal uh ebb and the water literally
comes down to a trickle in the middle of the thames the whole river certainly up by here i'm
sure it happens further down you just see poops no you just see pocket watches and glasses and
sunglasses really and and phones yeah so and i went out it's from people that have been on a boat
and have dropped something
overboard so someone goes to look at the water and their glasses slip off their face
gone so if you go um this happened this was in richmond a good four or five years ago now we
were there and the tide was like so low that there was no water you could walk from one side of the
river to the other and anyone that's been to richmond this is a very wide part of the thames around these parts
it's a wide sort of part sounds quite wealthy as well it is yes all gold just gold doubloons and
things um but yeah so it's a lot of a lot of stuff and there was like wow look there's just glasses
and watches and cameras and all these kind of things like a selfie stick you know things like
this that people just dropped in the fucking river.
It's quite funny.
A golden YouTube play button, just like for free.
I was watching a video of this guy who does, I don't know what,
he had a term for it.
It's like mud dipping or something like that.
And he went out and he found all kinds of stuff on the Thames,
but in town, like he was in the city.
He was quite near the Tower Bridge.
Yeah, you see it. There's these guys who do magnet fishing i saw a few on tiktok and there's like they lob this huge electromagnet into like a river and it just pulls up like fucking bicycles
crazy shit but the thing is i guess all that stuff you mentioned is all plastic right so
very little of it so quite a bit of it yeah i mean obviously the glasses are going to be
it's not going to be enough metal i don't think to be picked up by a magnet i think even a wristwatch
like they're not metal straps are they like they'd all be plastic straps and i think it'd be hard to
get the magnet on the front it's interesting when you find this old stuff though i guess like because
you think well what's the story behind this it's like you know when you're walking down the street
and you just see a pair of underpants on the ground and you just think what's the story i know how did this get here you know like i just have to do
the video game like equivalent of clicking on that shoe and like winding it back in time and
just discovering the story of where that shoe came from that's why you know when thanos had
the time stone and they they i'm gonna spoil the end of the avengers end game here
when he winds back uh the time so he can retrieve the stone from um uh vision's head because red
sonia or whatever her name is destroys it the red red witch he winds back time and everything goes
back in that little bubble where he's controlling it. You could do that with the time stone.
That's what Thanos should have been doing.
Finding out, I'm here to find out how one shoe ended up.
How did Billy's bicycle end up at the bottom of the Thames?
How did that bike get there?
Oh my God.
I don't know why he's a cowboy, but yeah.
You could do a whole show.
Like if you had that ability, you know,
you could do like whole show. Like, if you had that ability, you know, you could do, like, a reality TV show where you could, like, cut to, like, the lore behind the item and stuff and then, like, pawn it.
You know what it would do?
It would completely set Antiques Roadshow on its head.
Oh, yeah.
Because now you've got people coming in dressed like someone from the villages.
Can you imagine with that ability?
dressed like someone from the villages can you imagine with that ability you went on there and you're like you like the first scene is uh you're speaking to the expert about what this might have
been used for and who could have possibly owned it you know like oh yeah this this vase oh it
would have been uh owned by uh oh a very well-to-do old woman in uh in the countryside and she would have used it to store
her dandruff flakes uh for for some time you know like they always have this like this this unique
insight into how this thing would have been used but then you turn up and you got the time stone
and you're like okay let's see And then you do a rewind on the vase
and it just turns out
that like, you know,
some guy named Colin
bought it at the store
and just like had it
on his mantelpiece.
I was thinking,
you know, when they say,
how did you come by this piece?
They say, oh,
I just found it in an antique shop.
Let's find out.
And they wind it back
and then you are prizing it
from a dying relative.
You get to see like a murder taking place
give me the fucking vows
and they're just
red faced
it cuts back to their expression
of like uh oh
I'd love it if the show
started with them like dredging the
Thames right and then like going through
all of their shit on that
sort of forensic
table and then
they could give
this rusty old
knife to one of
those fucking
YouTubers who
makes it all nice
again you know
and they could
give like you know
they could just
like hand out all
these bits and
and value them
all and you know
this is a skull
from some old
fucker who died
hundreds of years
ago
from a rat who
didn't keep his
mouth shut.
You just get gangsters to tell you where it came from.
This boy, well,
he didn't pay up on time.
He was mugging
me off, is what it was.
He was mugging me off.
You get all the
stories. I would love
that.
There's an idea for a game.
We need the technology, but yeah yeah like a game with that i mean you kind of had uh that was like oberdin
right yes pretty much the whole premise of oberdin was was just that's it yeah god but
then you had to fill up a storybook oh man it was so fucking good holy shit he was working on that for such a long time like because
when when uh uh papers please came out um i i streamed it like i was i was one of the first
people that streamed it i think because he stopped by and i chatted to him on twitter a bit and he
did a tech demo thing of the obradin stuff just to show off the graphics engine because he was
still working on it and that was like years years before Obra Dinn came out.
And I thought, man, why is he taking so long?
Well, he did everything, eh?
Yeah.
First of all, it's Louis Ducope, I think his name is.
So it's a one-man operation.
Lucas Pope.
Yeah.
Okay.
Lucas Pope, yeah.
So I don't know why I thought it was Lucas Ducope.
I don't know either.
He just made his name a lot more flowery.
Very fancy, yeah.
I love it.
I saw that tech demo and I thought,
huh, I'm not sure what to make of this.
And then when the game came out,
I thought, God, that took a long time.
You realize why?
Because there's so much to it.
Like the plot is so good
and there's sort of moments in the game
where some big thing is revealed,
all the little touches, I think he's brilliant.
I think he's absolutely brilliant.
I think as a format, though, I feel like part of why it was so good
was because it was probably just made by one person.
It was pure.
A labor of love or whatever.
But the actual format of the game i i wouldn't i wouldn't
actually mind if a studio picked it up and just made lots of little yeah stories it was just such
a good concept right yeah really good concept like mechanics for a game but just you could
you could do it with so many other stories right where you just slowly unravel the mystery and
hidden object games up the assse. Fucking hidden object games.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want to play that.
I want to play Obra Dinn, but with some different stories.
It would be really good.
I just love the way that Obra Dinn rewarded you for figuring stuff out,
where the book would slowly complete and you had the music and stuff.
It was just really satisfying.
Whenever I wonder why aren't there more of those games i think it's because coming up with a really
interesting story like that is so fucking hard that most games companies just can't do it a
hidden object game a studio would never work on that though right but i'm saying why isn't this
a genre like you said like there should be more Because once you have more than one or two people working on a game,
nobody wants to work on that game.
If you have a bunch of people together that cost a lot of money
to keep together to work on something,
you have to work on something you know is just going to shift a ton of units.
Right, but you would need a lot of people.
I mean, one land deal.
What I'm saying is, you know,
these games like that that
could become a genre why didn't they there must be it must just be really hard to to yeah it must
be yeah that's it yeah i think so it's a shame i would play more for sure i agree like i really
enjoyed that just before we go stanley parable ultra deluxe is out i came out yesterday um i've
been playing it i thought it was a very very funny
what's the difference basically you know how there were like 10 endings in stanley parable
uh they've all been enhanced in some way and also you can do them differently and there's like
a whole note of kind of new it's called new content but it's all very self-aware kind of a
it's kind of a cursed awareness of its own stanley parable own impact you know there's like a whole
thing where you go through some of the steam reviews of it there's a whole the whole section
about stanley parable 2 is like a joke but man i don't want to spoil it but it's it's it's hilarious
and um i made me laugh a few times so So, yeah, I recommend you revisiting it, specifically Sips,
because I'd like to see...
There's a couple of moments that really, really made me laugh.
Right.
I mean, I like the first one.
If you haven't played Trolley Problem...
Yeah, I meant to play that, actually.
It's really, really good.
I streamed that last week, and it was really good.
Yeah, because it's interactive on Twitch, too, right? People can vote for stuff and whatever. Yeah, but I didn't do that version. it was really good. Yeah. Because it's interactive on Twitch too, right?
People can vote for stuff and whatever.
Yeah, but I didn't do that version.
I just played it through solo.
I watched you stream it.
So actually, you streamed that after last week's Triforce.
And I was sat, because I was going to have a chat with Sips after the podcast.
And I ended up just watching your entire stream.
I completely forgot.
I had to go attend to a domestic.
And then it went on for like three hours. And by the time I was done, I was like, oh, shit. I was supposed to had to go attend to a domestic, and then it went on for like three
hours.
And by the time I was done, I was like, oh shit, I was supposed to chat to Lewis.
Sorry about that.
It was really good.
I really enjoyed it.
It was really...
Some of the questions it asks you are really challenge you.
The Trolley Problem Inc.
Yeah, it's out now.
That's Yorkscast Games, that one.
And also, I did a Trolley Problem
podcast
actually
as a segue
don't know if it's out yet
but there's like
a few episodes
where
they've talked to
some of the folks
in Yogs about
and some other guests
about Trolley Problem
problems
we might be able
to get you on Pflex
if you want
I said on
the Yogs
Discord
that I'd be up for it
but I don't know if they'll figure it out.
We'd love a podcast.
So we might advertise that in some way,
but see if you can find it.
Good luck to you.
Thanks, everyone.
We'll see you next week.
We'll see you next week.
All right.
Goodbye.
Peace.
Bye.