Triforce! - Triforce! #241: Flax's Garden Warfare

Episode Date: December 9, 2022

Triforce! Episode 241! Flax is declaring garden war on his spy neighbours, Lewis met with all the charities taking part in Jingle Jam 2022 and we're talking about games like a true gaming podcast! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce podcast. Oh, it's been a busy week, but I'm full of Christmas cheer and festive joy and holiday energy, holiday positivity. Sips, how are you feeling?

Our annual switching on of the Christmas lights all across town and the rest of the island was cancelled because of weather. Oh, yeah. First delayed, then cancelled. Bloody weather coming over here. I know. so pouring on everything so make it all wet so now all we're left with is just the buy a lot of stuff and enjoy christmas we don't even get any of the uh any of the lights switching on or the parades or anything we're just did you have a low low-key celebrity uh intending on doing it? I don't know.

I don't think so. Did Henry Cavill do it once? Does he live in Jersey? Yeah, famously. I think he does, yeah, still. So Rob Brydon is local, as is Nick Frost, our sort of Twickenham, Richmond local celebs,

along with like Brad Pitt and a bunch of other people, but they'd never do it. But I remember Rob Brydon was going to do it one year and we were all very excited to see Rob Brydon on Twickenham Green, and then it pissed it down, and so he said, well, I'm not coming, and nobody else did either.

No, I mean... The weather routinely ruins things in this country. It does, yeah. It's not been great. Fuck the weather. We should declare war on the weather. The weather declared war on Christmas. That's the problem.

Yeah, the war on Christmas has begun. The weather declared war on Christmas. That's the problem. Yeah, the war on Christmas has begun. The weather is the front line. We had a- It's an arbustus. They'll still be home by Christmas, for God's sake. We had a five-minute hurricane over here the other day as well, and all of our gardens- Five minutes? Yeah, it was actually legitimately just five minutes of intense wind that blew all of my

garden furniture all over the place we got this big trampoline it blew it halfway across the garden it was that windy wow that not make nature is terrifying isn't it a little kid slide that was weighed down with a ton of water that went that way and almost smashed up my greenhouse as well good heavens and my neighbor came over uh the next morning and was like can I have a look in your backyard? I think some of my crap that's outside the front of my house flew into your backyard. And I said, be my guest. But there's a lot of shit back there that's all over the place already.

There's a lot of shit already in there. Good luck. It's like a fucking rubbish dump in here. Speaking of gardens, I've hit an interesting problem. You've hit one? Are you digging in it? No, it's more like it hit me in the face. I'd be scared to dig in a garden in London, because you'd hit a water pipe or a fucking

electricity table or something. Bombs. I mean, in London, there's a good chance you're going to come across some sort of bomb or something. Yeah, happens all the time around here. World War II, yeah. Oddly enough, you wouldn't think Twickenham would be bombable, but we had a little airstrip

here in the war. Now it's rugby parking, you know. Time's changed. But yeah, so Jerry would drop a few bombs on here on his way back and forth over London. Bloody Jerry. Bloody Jerry. Coming over here,

dropping bombs, dropping things out of the sky. Hello, Jerry. Everyone's doing it. Yeah. Hello, Newman. Hello, Von Neumann. My neighbours at this buy house have all changed.

The house has now been sold. There's new people in there and they are renovating the property. They gutted it and they're doing it up. And when they came to do the garden, they noticed that our garden, as in my garden, might be a foot into their garden. And if you look at the land deeds, it's out by about a foot. So we've got like a raised flower bed and we've got our fence and paving stones all the rest of it so our new neighbor is reasonably saying can we have our garden back please um and it's a tricky

one because i think we've had it fenced for well over 15 years now because the original fence was there when we moved in so that fence has been there for a very long time and i don't want to start off my relationship with my potential new neighbor by getting the law involved. But I believe that we could claim something called, or what is it called now? It's called something like adverse possession or something like that. Where you're basically saying, well, look, you haven't been using it. We've had it fenced for a ton of time. You can't now turn up and demand it back.

Yeah. Was it like a foot? It's literally a foot yeah but the our next door neighbor not the one behind our next door neighbor their fence is in line with the property line so if you look at the guy's garden oh it goes along for the length width of our property and then comes in by a foot so sort of an uneven oh that's weird which is awkward you get a lot of that shit in uh in i like Jersey, you get that too, but in England. Because a lot of the property lines were just drawn such a long time ago, right?

So over time, they're not really respected. But the issue is, if you look at the plan, like the actual property deeds, as it were, it is meant to be a straight line. Yeah. But for whatever reason, when our old... Whoever owned the house before us put this fence in, they yoinked a foot of land. It might have been an accident.

Did they measure it? How did they know that it was a foot out? Is it really that, is it quite a small garden? Well, they probably got all the, when they bought the place, they probably had all of the property plans, details and stuff like that. Right, but more to the point it's it's literally visibly out so imagine their back it would have been their lawyer probably that that spot no no no no you could walk listen guys you're not listening to me you walk into the back garden and the back fence

is out like it goes along a bit i get it but i'm just saying it goes along you wouldn't even need a lawyer if they just bought the place they would have had a lawyer and the lawyer would have looked at that stuff no that's the surveyor the surve they would have had a lawyer and the lawyer would have looked at that stuff. No, that's the surveyor. The surveyor would have done that. And he said to them, you know your back fence is out by about a foot. And I mean, it's not even a question of having a look at the plans. You look at their back garden and their

back fence is literally goes along, goes up, and then keeps going along. So it's like someone's drawn a Z. You know, it's not even something where you would need an expert it's just like see they are right i mean the back fence is literally uneven um so and not even in a sort of canted way it's a zigzag um so that's our back garden is is essentially intruding onto their land by by a foot now the problem is like i said we've got a

raised bed right up against that fence. This was all put in a couple of years ago. We've got, you know, all these plants are bedded in. The paving stones are all up to that point. So it's not like a simple thing to change, unfortunately. Right. Here's some suggestions. One, invite them around and make friends with them. Oh, no, no. I went around and see them.

Show them the garden. I went around and see them. Have they come around and seen you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all been very amicable. It's all been very amicable. It's all been very amicable, yeah. Yeah, until they don't get their way. And then that's when the dog shit in a paper bag on fire turns up.

But that's what I don't want, right? You don't want a war with the Russian spy house. Well, now it's just some lad. But I'm like, geez, do I really want to start my relationship with a potential new neighbor on the white island? You know, I didn't want to get on that route. So we'll see what happens. But hopefully we can resolve it amicably.

Yeah. I think you might just have to fucking move it. No, I mean, I'm almost sure that's what's going to happen. Moving the fence and cutting the or taking a foot out of the raised beds is going to be kind of a pain. How about you ask them if you can rent it? No, so I asked if we could buy it, and he said no. Because he said the amount of money that they would want for something that looks like this would be more than it would be worth to us.

In other words, the price that they would undoubtedly set would be higher than what we'd be willing to pay. So I was like, okay. So he doesn't want money. It's a strip of land in London. That's worth millions, potentially. You could build a high-rise on that. And the other thing is the gardens around here

are little as it is. So losing a foot of your garden, you know, it's not ideal. So, but yeah. So we'll see. Wow, that sounds like domestic hell. I hate that kind of shit. No, I don't want it to become domestic.

I'm determined to resolve this amicably. Even if we could go down some other route and be dicks about it. I don't want to start off with a new labor on that. How about the rent is like, you know, a hamper of cheese and, you know, some local. I don't think he's going to take it. You still think so no okay they want it back

the fact that he brought it up in the first place means that this guy is firmly dug in to getting his foot back it's possible he doesn't like the zigzag though he wants it to be straight

and that'll bother him it looks bad and also I mean they're looking to rent the place out as well so if people come around they're looking to rent a house

who's gonna give a shit if they're renting it yeah I don't think anybody renting that place is gonna give much of a shit on yeah but i think they want to do like a really nice garden and everything and it would be dog shit to do uh with you shouldn't do a nice garden if you're gonna rent it out because they won't look after the garden yeah the actual issue low maintenance artificial turf get the turf yeah get some fucking just just concrete just maybe they're gonna turf it yeah and they don't want to have a zigzag get some fucking slabs down there just slab it slab it up the whole thing the this this would have been the perfect uh

crime i suppose if when my actual next door neighbors redid their fence they just kept it where the old fence was which is in line with mine, but they didn't. They lined it up with like their other neighbor's fence. So they sort of did it the right way. And if they hadn't, this all would have been much easier. But get an artist in to paint like a three-dimensional. So it looks like the fence is set back a foot. You know what I mean?

Like on the fence. You know, like how they do that sometimes they paint on a wall. It looks like the fence is set back afoot. You know what I mean? Like painted on the fence. You know like how they do that sometimes? They paint on a wall that looks like an alley or whatever. And people fall for it all the time. Just do that one more and just say, look, sorted, mate. Just like in a Wile E. Coyote production. Yeah. Like when he paints the tunnel.

Or just get some Darren Brown mirrors. Oh, yeah. Mr. Brown, I have a job for you. I'm on my way. He's already here. Just do a full mind bend on them, Darren. Mr. Brown, I have a job for you. I'm on my way. He's already here. Just do a full mind bend on them, Darren Brown style. I have to noddle and touch them on the wrist. Look deep into my eyes.

There is no garden. You haven't noticed that your garden is a foot out. I'd have to do it to every other visitor. Because if one of them says, isn't that fence wonky? So every time anyone comes around, I'd have to have Darren Brown intercept them at the door, quickly hypnotize them and send them in. What are you talking about? He just like waves his hand and like Jedi mind tricks on him.

Oh, speaking of Jedi mind tricks, although no Jedi mind tricks, it's actually just Star Wars. Andor, the series Andor has now finished all 12 episodes. Terrific. Check it out if you get the chance. Great show. Yeah, I heard really good things about it. I just haven't checked it out. I've been watching a bit of the World Cup, though. That's been fun. Oh, I if you get the chance. Great show. Yeah, I heard really good things about it. I just haven't checked it out.

I've been watching a bit of the World Cup, though. That's been fun. Oh, I'm watching it right now. Wales 0, Iran 0. Oh, nice. I didn't even realize. Actually, a better game than it sounds. I knew that that game was on today. I just didn't know what time. England game is tonight. Yeah, England-USA tonight should be pretty exciting.

Yeah, going to watch that. We've got to beat the Yanks. Canada sadly lost my half-nation. Man, they did so good, though. They played so well. Holy crap. I was really surprised. I don't think they've ever scored a goal in a World Cup before, and they came pretty close the other day when they played.

The World Cup is in full swing. There's been a lot of upsets. I mean, this is always the – someone's got a TV on in the office. Right. And so most of the time it just, it's watched so little that that TV has mostly had like catchphrase and loose women or whatever is on after. It's the one in the corner,

isn't it? Near where the Christmas tree goes. No, we moved it to the, um, to the, to the, we got two big TVs that normally show the streams and stuff,

but the, the, the football has been on and there's usually a couple of people stood around um discussing something else while watching it in the in the way that you're watching it now are you not really giving it any attention just keep an eye on yeah in case something appears to happen that's interesting nice distraction it's a nice uh it's a nice like because because it's games are very low energy on when on when it's like crunch time in my house. So I can just put it on and then just ignore everything that's going on around my house and pretend like I'm watching football, which is kind of nice.

Fascinating. Yeah. It's bedtime. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. No, look, they're about to score a goal. Don't talk to me. yeah no look they're about to score a goal uh don't don't talk to me i went up to york um wednesday and i went to york university and i had to chat to a bunch of the students there

studying various production things about what it would be like working in esports that was what i was up there for yeah um and i've done some stuff with york university before it's very nice very nice students a lot of a lot of triforce fans nice okay a lot of york's fans so nice bunch but i didn't i could not believe this. York is small, right? York is not a big city. It's quite small. Some of the students live in York, but hardly any of them.

Some of them have to commute very long ranges. A very famous dweller of York is of course the Grand Old Duke of York. He has to commute the grand old duke of York. Well, he has to commute in these days. Shocking. Yeah, well, that's the thing. House prices.

He has to commute up a hill as well. Yeah, what then? Well, then he's got to commute back down again after he's done. Well, these guys are commuting, some of them, a three-hour train ride to get into Ely, which is insane. And I know transport is dog shit in the north, I've discovered recently.

So, yeah, a lot of these youngsters, pretty bloody committed. When I was at uni, it was a 10-minute walk to uni, and I still couldn't be arsed to go to most lectures. So, this lot are commuting for two, three hours a day. It's mad. I couldn't be bothered going to lectures. So, this lot of commuting for two, three hours a day, it's mad. I couldn't be bothered going to lectures. I never really went to them. And this is kind of before we had a lot of resources available on the internet. So, it was like, I just did not read or do any of the work. Yeah, that was the problem I had.

And somehow passed, but that was great. What did you get? Oh, like a C, I'm sure. Like my whole, my entire education was just really, really, really just below average. In Canada, anyway, when I was going, it was still E, E, D. I'd say E was the worst you could get. D, C, B, A. And then A plus was just like, you know, if you were really, really committed. And I don't think I ever got an A plus on anything. No, actually, you know what? I wrote a poetry book in, I think it was like grade eight. I wrote, I had to do a poetry book. It was due, we had like months to do it. And I put it off, put it off, put it off, put it off. And then two days before it was due,

I decided that I better do this because I was about to fail English. So I made a poetry book and I filled it with limericks and stuff but it was so like it was so last minute everything was really last minute but the teacher loved it and i got an a plus i think that's the only a plus i ever got at school ever you were secretly an actual poet yeah yeah no it was terrible like the you didn't just stuff the were just dumb as hell no no it was all very like similar stuff to that though and uh but i i did drawings and everything it was leah it feels like he fucking knocked it out in like you know the day before

yeah yeah i'm not saying that yours was garbage but i'm saying that you know maybe secretly you are saying that edward lear was garbage yeah i i am yeah a lot of it was trash another another power move in school was if you had to do project work and you had to and you had to do with a partner uh you would try to like you would try to make sure that you were sitting next to like a really hot girl on the day so that you'd get partnered out loud well why not i mean geez you got nothing else you're gonna say the nerdy guy or whatever. I'm not going to do the fucking work. I mean, the thing is, like... So you're not going to say... Nah. But the project work sometimes meant that you had to, like,

go to each other's house to work on it, because it was involved, right? So then you'd, like, you know... But the hot girl's going to expect you to do all the work. I'd rather... Whoa. They can be hot girls that are smart, too. What's wrong with you?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is at the height of my uh when i was when i was at in high school and i was like in my i'd say like mid to late teens that was at the height of my uh of of my uh casual smoking phase so project work was great because you just turn up and be like all right what are we working on hang on i'm just gonna go out for smoke outside smoking all the damn time oh it was the best like sheds i i was i was the same with with lectures and and i just but i had a friend of mine that was very compliant with sharing their very very um anally written notes so it was like very much like if i didn't come in i'd i'd be able to just

copy the notes and i'd honestly i was a more of a kind of notes based learner i'd rather right the lectures for me were not were not helpful it's like an audiobook version of the one that of the notes and i'm like i just give me the fucking notes dude i'll learn off that you know i didn't i wasn't a fan and also like i didn't i don't think i had a single lecturer that was actually compelling in any way no at the high end universities you can you can actually watch online a lot of the lectures by mit professors and stuff like this right yeah but some of these guys are famous like in their field and stuff you know and like well known for being good at what they're they're teaching

and and being some of the highest level professors also have got there because they're very compelling lecturers right they're very compelling some people are just researchers and have to do the their amount of lectures and really don't want to get it done but i think in you have to try and find someone that you want to listen to because if if you don't, you will not take anything in anyway. Why bother going to the lecture? Anyway, that's a little hot tip for you. It's a week before Jingle Jam, as we record this. And last night...

And all through the house, not a creature was stirring. Not even... Dav the mouse. I don't even know how you can put a spin on that. He loves sweet cheese and rustlers burgers. What rhymes with burgers? What rhymes with burgers? Mergers?

Mergers. Corporate mergers. And he's heavily involved in corporate mergers. Perfect. Perfect. So we actually arranged a meetup for all of the charities we never done anything like this before and i feel like it's not something that happens very often fundraisers who are doing their event don't tend to put on like um you know a dinner or

whatever for the or it wasn't a dinner but we had a meet up at the office we had some drinks and then we um booked out kong's which is the a local bar and uh we didn't sort of expect anyone to come down but actually every charity sent someone and i don't know what i was expecting but obviously it turns out that people who work for charities are very nice people you know yeah i think it weeds out all the cunts doesn't it you know there's you're not gonna you're not gonna last much very long at a charity if you're not a lovely lovely person i feel like if you've dedicated your life to i feel like you could find a couple of cunts in the in the charity field for sure right i feel like a lot of people are uh treat their job like it's you know let's

get away with doing the bare minimum or they hate it because they're forced to do it or they have some awful manager or whatever but i feel like if you're working for a charity there's automatically this feeling that that this money that they're paying me to work for them could be going directly to the good causes but instead it's paying stupid me so i feel like they are almost like in the back of their mind they're like i better i better do a good job or i better put the effort in or i better try and make this worthwhile you know i feel like morally behooven to do their best yeah in a sense and um everyone was so nice and so positive that actually like it kind of infused us with a bit of good

energy because let me just check something here you didn't invite a bunch of those chuggers in did you, that are trying to get you to sign up by mistake? You got actual charity workers in. Oh, on the street. Yeah. Well, the thing is, I was talking to them about these, the people on the street, and Ben actually used to do it.

So he knows what it's like. Ben Edgar, Ben. Ben Edgar, yeah. Well, apparently, you know, they do get paid for that. Oh, yeah, no, they do. They get, like, a commission so that, you know, they almost need to, you know, they do get paid for that. Oh, yeah, no, they do. They get, like, a commission so that, you know, they almost need to, you know, zhuzh up.

They need to make an effort. And he just said, oh, the girls would get far more sign-ups than men. Such an incel, Ben is. I think it's just a true comment about what people on the street do. I mean, I definitely signed up to we have door-to-door um charity mugging or chugging is and and i've signed up to three on the doorstep um and in two of those instances it was definitely because the the people knocking the door were very attractive women uh it's just disarming well it has happened to me

once as well when i was when i was younger when i was living with was living with my parents i was very lonely uh some some chugger knocks on the door and looks all bedraggled and sad and wet and um and i was like were you at the time were you singing that song lonely lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely. And then the doorbell rang. Oh, who could it be? Just like you snap out of it. Before I knew it, I had a subscription to whatever. I think I'm probably even still signed up, actually.

And that was about 15 years ago. Nice. But it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen since I'm in an apartment. I guess because you've got an ordinary house in an ordinary neighborhood people still do door-to-door stuff is that something do people randomly knock on your door like i was saying the other day i don't think i've met i don't think jehovah's witnesses are really knocking on people's nuts since covid honestly nobody nobody really knocks on the door we were saying covid is obviously a thing and also um i just think uh

they've given up i think they've run out of people. Yeah, I think they just realized that the cold calling method. I think people are probably increasingly hostile. I know, for example, my father-in-law, they must have him on a blacklist or something because they even before COVID, they never turned up to his house anymore. And it's because he would argue with them all the damn time. Right. He would just stand there for hours arguing with them and questioning them and stuff like that i think in the end a busy man sounds like a busy man yeah well i mean he's been retired for quite some time so he's just let me get my notebook i've got

yeah yeah no he's just he does not like them and uh he will waste as much of their time as possible which is uh i mean it's it's funny and sad at the same time, I guess, but you know, what can you do? Some people just, that's just how some people want to watch this world burn. Yeah. I think you suck out joy from the world, wherever you could suck it. Yeah, exactly. Just stick it in your mouth and suck it. So, I had a lovely time at Kong's. It's very loud in there but we still had a good time and i i sort of spoke to tried to speak to everyone was it an open bar uh well i think we were buying but

i don't know well that's probably why everybody was so nice lewis i'm not being funny but you know like uh you invite everybody to a bar and then you buy all their drinks yeah they were all really happy people these guys were so nice and happy. They were drunk, Lewis. They were a bit later. It was more like, I guess, I, in the Jiggle Jam, am coming at this from a different angle,

I guess, of slight anxiety, slight fear, everything's going to fall apart or go wrong. Of course. Slight worry that I've going to fall apart or go wrong. Of course. Slight worry that I've forgotten to organise something or I've upset people. You know, a lot of people,

when there's 91 games in the Jingle, Jingle Jam will be happening now, by the way, if this podcast goes out during December, which I think it will do in the first week. Oh, yeah, I suppose it will be.

Holy crap. So Jingle Jam is live. Please support jinglejam.tiltified.com. Please. I'm begging you. So you guys coming down, you guys doing stuff, you guys are involved. But it's a big – I'm kind of cresting, I think, the organizational surface now.

I've been under the water for a long time, and I'm just breathing air again. And I'm not aware that I'm breathing air I think I'm like still I'm still still gagging for air and um and and but actually it was quite relaxing to talk to everyone because they were almost like oh you know sounds like everything's sorted and I was like oh actually maybe it is and I was able to relax and and um it was had a really nice time and they they there's lots of interesting stories from all the charities and lots of really good causes and and they're so excited to be involved because i feel like they they got to meet all the other folks that were in it's not like they're competing

and even if they were i don't think they're the kind of people who charity war i'd love that yeah i don't know it's just it was just a really nice time but i'm a bit hung over today and uh but it was nice to see what my tolerance is and it turns out it's about two pints no you've always been a bit of a lightweight that's not bode well i don't know you're not much of a drinker really are you that's the thing he's not you got it's something you got to build up a lot well i haven't drunk for almost this whole year, really. Yeah. Apart from little bits and pops.

You know what? The next time I drink, I'm going to be, I'll just have to have a sniff of it. Because I haven't had anything to drink since well before COVID. So it's been multiple years. Yeah. Wow. It easily happens, right?

It's 11 a.m. Drunk as a lord. Well, I was going to say it's Christmas, but it's the World Cup. It's the World Cup well it's it's it's i'm just gonna say it's christmas but it's the world cup it's christmas it's the world cup anyway you gotta get a few babies down here um i uh remember that whole that old harry enfield skit the it's christmas ah come on it's christmas he's like shitting in a goldfish pond he's's doing all this stuff. When I come down for Jingle Jam, which is not that long

before I come down, I don't think I'm doing anything for the first four days I'm down or something like that. So I'm just going to sit around drinking all day, I guess, and chatting people

in the office. Period flex. Period flex. Yeah, I got you in... You can put him down for some of my stuff, Lewis. I got you in Scrub Dota, Poker, CSGO. Yeah, but when does the Scrub Dota start?

Is it Wednesday? And Rust RP. Put it on the first day. Scrub Dota will be Wednesday. Right, so I'm down Sunday. So I've got Sunday, Monday, Tuesday doing nowt. Get him in some stuff. Get him on some bundle stuff.

I'd love to do the quiz stream. You could do board games. You could do Civilization VI. No, love to do the quiz stream. You could do board games. You could do Civilization VI. No, you've got eight people for that already. You could join it on Hat Films, this music stream. That's something you could do every day. That has been a dream for me, but I think it's just the lads, which is fair.

Well, you could pop in and do a vocal, though. Yeah, you could. A little cameo. They need extra snippets of audio. I'm just going to sit around in the office drinking, and if anybody grabs me for anything, I'm down. That's my plan. I think that's generally how, that's the best way to experience GFJ.

Indeed. It does mean hanging out with people, which I'm not great at hanging out with people who aren't drinking. The thing is, PFLAX, every day in the office, we need to do something. Like today, we need to go and buy some fucking Christmas jumpers. Well, I'm not up for that. See, this is the problem. I'm not up for that. See, this is the problem. I'm not up for that.

Well, no, but I mean, I'm not saying chores. We're going to make a whole like members video about it. Oh, okay. Well, I might do that. So it'll be for a recorded thing. But I don't want to be used as like, as the office. The whipping boy. The whipping boy or gopher uh just

because i'm there i don't want to be told period go buy a pair of scissors or whatever i'm not down for that i'll be helpful but there's a limit okay and i suppose you're also going to get increasingly belligerent as the drink goes in so so in in relation to not wanting to hang out with people sober i'm very happy to do that but people don't really like me when they're sober. If people get drunk... What do you mean? Then it's much easier. What do you mean?

I'm saying I'm good company when we're all drunk. But if we're all sober, then I can be quite annoying. We're all good company. You're good company when we have bad judgment. Exactly. I need that lowered judgment. And are without inhibition as well. Exactly.

You're wrong. You're a great company. We wouldn't have done this podcast for six years if you weren't a good company, people. Oh, I think we would have. I don't think me and Sips have been chugging them down

before the podcast to get through it. You guys have me muted. I don't know if they realize. I'm blazed out of my mind right now. Right. It's just on the high of life. I don't know if they realize. I'm blazed out of my mind right now. Right. It's just on the high of life and probably like petrol fumes or whatever is leaking into the garage.

Been huffing diapers. Yeah. How is the diaper situation generally? It hasn't changed much. They're still smelly and uh filled with filled with shit excrement okay yeah the shit is a bit bit more formed now because she eats actual food which is nice actually she's she's sort of realized it would actually be information just gradually just gradually heading towards becoming a two-year-old which is pretty good lots of walking around uh her emotions

are now developing so like you get all these like mini tantrums like uh she's trying to put a sock on the other day but she didn't realize that it wasn't just a case of laying the sock on your foot and then it magically going on so she got quite annoyed about that and just right just lost it yeah i see everyone has previously put socks on her well yes yeah so nobody was around to do that and uh she couldn't do it on her own so she was she was pretty pissed but um she's got like some favorite shows and stuff too she recognizes like characters from shows like if you see toys of them in the toy store she points at them she knows what they are and stuff she's really obsessed with um it's called

my first boy swimmer it's like a little doll boy that's got a swimming cap and a bathing suit on and like she's seen it in catalog because the kids have a catalog for like christmas like toy catalog and uh she it's a huge catalog she goes picks up the catalog rifles through to find my first boy swimmer, and then points at it constantly. Fuck, this thing looks terrifying, dude. It's really weird, yeah. And then we saw my first boy swimmer in the shop the other day when we were doing some Christmas shopping. We had the baby with us.

And she was like smiling and pointing at him so i think i have to buy my first boy swimmer which is not something i ever thought i would say out loud or uh even have to do necessarily we've already got three kids don't buy any more it's actually my first swim boy oh yeah my first swim boy that's it. Sorry. My First Swim Boy. He's got a blue swimming cap on and just like a full body suit, like wetsuit, like baby bathing suit. Oh, my God. I found it. It's all caps baby. Yeah, baby born My First Swim Boy.

It's actually only 20 beans. That's not bad. It's not bad. I mean, most toys are. There's also a My First Swim Girl. I guess she's not interested in she wants the boy she likes the blue baby there's loads um magic baby born magic unicorn girl and yes yeah and all magic boy yeah the look of terror on the baby's face they don't look like

they want to be in the water um another toy brand that my daughter is mostly ambivalent about, but they're popular enough where she had a birthday party recently and she got a couple of these toys as gifts from other kids in her class or whatever. They're called LOL dolls. Yes. Oh, yes. We have definitely spoken about these before. But they're kind of dolls they're like yes oh yes we have definitely spoken about these before but they're kind of like i don't know they're like they're they they look like

very sort of like uh like bling glamorous you know but like also kind of like i don't know i feel like alien well yeah a little bit alien but like i don't know like some of the outfits and stuff are just a little bit like i was up in it if i had been abducted by and sucked up into an alien spaceship abducted my eyes abducted yeah you said you said abducted yeah well that was the egg corn then um it was an egg corn what's an egg corn well an egg corn is when you say something a little bit a lot of people call acorns egg corns because they think they are shaped like an egg corn. What's an egg corn? Well, an egg corn is when you say something a little bit... A lot of people call acorns egg corns because they think they are shaped like an egg, so they should be called an egg corn. No, they don't.

I don't know anybody who has ever referred to it as an egg corn. It's a classic egg corn. But basically, you could... All these things, like people saying things wrong that still make sense. Right. There's tons and tons of them. But it's always like a Freudian slip.

What's the one... There's one recently that I... Oh, yeah, it's like... You know, you know like you say like i couldn't care less but in america for some reason they they sometimes say i could care less right it doesn't make sense but then they're just like well that's how we say it what i don't know i don't i don't understand that it doesn't really make sense for example like instead of saying pass muster people say pass mustard it's like that doesn't pass the mustard you know yeah because because it sounds right it does yeah it's it yeah it's there's there's there's tons and tons of them yeah biting my time instead of biting my time

yeah best thing since life's bread yeah i've never heard that i'm seeing this list as well a dog a doggy dog world instead of a dog eat dog world yeah doggy dog world i think some of these have to be from trailer park boys right like they're they are rickyism yes they are they are a totem and stuff like that like uh it's got to be some some of them have to be have to be joke ones as well well i think so but i think it's also just people mishearing stuff. Like there's always this in your life or other people. I remember the classic one that one of my friends always thought was handbag instead of handbag. Because they thought it was like round, like a slice of ham.

I didn't even put any thought into it. I mean, when you're a kid, if someone says something's called a handbag, it's a handbag. But you don't say handbag. Pass me my handbag. You say, where's my handbag it's a handbag but you don't say handbag hand pass me my hand bag you say where's my handbag and you say i don't know though like uh like the the way that uh words are pronounced and stuff like if you if you go back and you look even like at american tv in like the 60s and stuff they had like uh they had much better like enunciation and stuff they did it's it has it has become a lot lazier but i find even even uh english like like out then. It has become a lot lazier.

But I find even English, like out of Britain, has become a lot lazier, like in sort of modern times as well. I got a potential reason for that. Might be that audio quality back then was just not particularly good. So if you didn't enunciate, people just couldn't hear it.

Also, it could be, but it seemed that but that that that is just kind of how people spoke you know like yeah but our only reference is television and politicians and whatever other recorded you might be right you might be on something with the regard of like doing speeches or you know because you there weren't any microphones or anything like this and when when someone had to speak in parliament or speak to a group of people, they didn't want people to mishear them. And so they had to have this very clipped way of speaking. And the early radio broadcasts,

they all pronounced every single word very clearly. Because it's all through static and everything. Yeah, but there were no regional accents. It was all default, you know, received pronunciation and stuff like that. And then advertising started to have, like they found the most trustworthy accents in the nation.

I remember reading this article a few years ago. And if you want to appear like trustworthy and reliable, it's generally a Yorkshire accent, like Sean Bean's sort of accent, you know. An insurance company you can trust action you know you an insurance company you can trust you know that kind of thing yeah if you want to appear like you wouldn't have a scouser saying hey come to us for an insurance and that you know people be like yeah right so

there are some accents people associate with being trustworthy and some they don't definitely definitely it must be the same in other countries as well i find it fascinating that you know if you're a native speaker, you can hear the differences between south and north in your country. Yeah. And it's so exaggerated. In the UK, so exaggerated, the differences. Like even like, so I was telling you, did I tell you this?

I was playing Modern Warfare 2. And I had, because a lot of people don't realize they've got open mic on their ps5 controller or whatever yeah yeah and so it's constant yeah if you have chat on you can hear people so many people talking in that in the game but it's so funny because you've got this like group of london lads or whatever you know playing together using their like very strong slang like things like like i mean obviously a lot of N-words, but a lot of actual London slang, like calling people wet or whatever.

I don't really know what some of the... I never really even heard of some of this stuff. It was like they were speaking a different language. Is this called UC Modern Warfare 2? Currently £60. The one that just came out, yeah. This is the new Modern Warfare. It's a mess. You can play the the battle royale and the the sort of like tarkov battle royale uh hybrid is free

to play you can you can download there's a yeah so it's warzone 2 you can download warzone 2 and you get both of those games you play them for free so if i was on battle royale is is a is definitely just a battle royale. Battle Royale. Battle Royale. Which is what I like to call a Battle Royale. But they've got this beta of a DMZ mode, which the idea is it's supposed to be Tarkov Lite. It's like baby Tarkov, yeah.

It's kind of cool, though. Wait, wait, wait. This has 11,534 reviews, mostly negative. Is it bad? It crashes. It's conned. Yeah, I mean, it's... It crashes all the time and for everyone. And it's frustrating.

And it's full of bugs. Like, just leaving fucking always on mic as a default. Like, you go in and people can hear you. And I've heard, like, people arguing, people, like, having a domestic... Oh, and I'm downloading this immediately. The thing with me is the minute I sit at my computer, I'm jacking off loud. And if an open mic is on, that's not good for my brand.

So I'll show you at PFLAX. So I just went to the store and i'm trying to download it yeah so i go store and i type in war zone and it says in library but it's not downloaded now i want to download it this is a common bug with steam you might have to restart i'll try play now oh it's 21 gig christ all right yeah let's have well i think i think i've got the whole. I would love a nice brainless shooter to play. This sounds just right up.

It's pretty. It's brainless, but it's it's again, it's a it's a long established game franchise. So I'm aware of this. You have people. There's a couple of problems with it. We played this game. Yeah. There's a few sweaty.

It's very juice drinkers. But there's actually. But it's also a it's ever. Yeah, there's a few sweaty hot dog juice drinkers. But there's actually... But it's also a... It's an everyman's game. It's kind of a well-known AAA game that's played by ordinary men, ordinary folk. Ordinary football-watching, tea-drinking... Another really fun thing is that it's cross-platform.

So when you get the controller aim snap against you, it does never feel good. It's cross-platform, but the controller aim assist is pretty exaggerated. Now, fair enough. It's insane. You do need help on that. But actually, a couple of things about it that are interesting. One is you see very strong lens glints when someone's got a sniper scope on you.

So if they're looking at you, you know they're looking at you. Sorry, did you call it lens glints? Yeah, what is it called? Happy lens glints, everybody. I just think glints, is that G-L-I-N-T-Z? It is a glint doll. Yeah, well, it's not a flare. No, it's glintz.

I'm buying your daughter a glintz doll for Christmas. Thanks. I love that word. Well, I didn't know how to express it, but it's funny because the thing about it is, is that in the DMZ, in the Battle Royale mode, you have armor plates, and they're pretty tough. Like, you could take a hit from any gun in the game

and it'll hit your armor and that'll give you a chance to get into cover. And then if you go down, your guys could bring you back. If you die in DMZ, you could just be brought back even if you're down-downed. But if you die in the Battle Royale mode, you do the second chance 2v2 in the Gulag. And then if you die there,

your mates can still buy you back at a buy station. So it's kind of like, there's so many ways you can actually come back in. It plays like PUBG, which you played a lot of, Flex. Yeah, we do. We used to play that all the time. On your first death, you go to a gulag,

where you have a chance to come back if you win a 1v1 against another sweatlord. Well, it's 2v2, actually, this time. The game has lots and lots of ways to revive fallen comrades. That sounds funny. It surprised me

with the few hours I managed to play between crashes. When you crash and lose everything in the DMZ Tarkov mode, you will pull what remains of any hair on your body out. Yeah, that's annoying. Because it is infuriating. It's got like the same- And it will crash on you. You know, like the merchant quests in Tarkov,

you know, like Pra or wants you to to extract like you know five cans of beans it's got all those but you can only have three active at a time so you can't do like in tarkov there's no inventory like in tarkov between missions either you only have a stash of contraband guns because the way that the the way that weapons unlock in the game is you have to find them in the world and extract with them first. And then you have that weapon unlocked. And then you have an insurance slot that you can customize a gun and use that. But if you go into DMZ with your customized insured gun and you die, it's on cooldown for like an hour.

Oh, okay. So you don't have to use... So it's not actual loss. No, you don't actually lose there's no gear fear or anything like that and then for things like your your body armor you if you get like three plate body armor you can get like a big backpack and stuff that stuff persists between rounds so long as you exfil but the minute you die you just lose all that stuff and then you just have to reacquire it but it's so common to find it oh it's it's super light

i went in with kirsty because she was like um because kirsty's one of these strange people on our discord who is mostly delighted to hear that yeah right she doesn't necessarily like want to get involved but she loves like seeing what we're doing like dota yeah she played she played she did a lot of fishing in final fantasy i recall involved but she loves like seeing what we're doing like dota even like a gaming voyeur yeah she played she did a lot of fishing in final fantasy i recall well we went because she was like um she was really scared of playing dmz with us right and so me and monk went went on a run with her and i was just dying and she was like saving me and killing guys and like i was getting knocked out and she was just like this hero player and she because she was worried she was going to be the the weak link on the team

and i was like you're playing with me kirsty um do not fear i am absolute garbage i really kind of feel bad for anyone who has me on their team i still i haven't played any Warzone with Lewis or DMZ, even though our circles are very much Venn diagram into each other, but I've never had the pleasure of- Yeah, the circle is retreating into- Yeah. It's inevitable that we'll have to play in the same group at some point. But no, Modern Warfare 2, honestly, there's something about it, like the talk of light, it's chill

and um yeah until it crashes extremely frustrating at times as well i'll say and yeah especially because of the voice chat my god it's so fun they got the uh in the in the paid version you can play like cod multiplayer like the traditional sort of like death match ground war all that ground war is kind of like battlefield you know like uh like the traditional sort of like death match ground war all that ground war is kind of like battlefield you don't like uh like the large scale you can get the helicopters and yeah it's a bit mindless shooter fuck me it's so bad like you just it's constantly you're just constantly getting sniped from you don't even know where you can watch replays and there's just people camping in fucking windows well the zero is it's a game mode with zero second respawn, right? And so it's for these people who need action.

I guess it's a good way to quickly train yourself with a gun and get used to a gun because there's people to shoot all the time. But it is super in your face. Using guns and getting intensity. I'll give it a go. I'll give it a go. Why not?

Yeah. It's a weird recommendation from both of us this week. That's alright. I haven't been playing particularly much else other than games and Jingle Jam. I've been playing a lot of Snap still. I still do all my dailies and I've been unlocking cards and stuff.

Man, everyone's moved on from that. I still haven't played a human being. I up it's just always against the computer you gotta get to gold or so before you start playing so many games but then when you get to gold or so and you start playing against people it's it's the same as any card game there's just decks that are good and everything else and you face the same two or three decks constantly it's just always the issue i have with with uh any of these games is yeah and i found it when i used i played a lot of magic a couple of months ago i was really into it um and i think i've mentioned this i didn't know that they have these big sort of almost like a dota patch but for magic where they clear a bunch of cards out

of just the regular ranked arena mode and they're like yeah you can't play these anymore and i'd worked on these decks and i'd saved up and i'd bought some packs and got some cards and i'd constructed these cards and i had these decks i really liked and then they were like no you can these cards these 18 cards are gone i was like well that's the whole point of the deck is now gone so now you've got to start again from scratch but when i was playing you'd run into like maybe three or four very consistent, similar decks. Yes. And it was just kind of a little bit frustrating. Every game is like this now.

It is. It must be a solution. It's solved within a week. And then you're just in this really boring metagame. Like every game is like that now. I will say that there were a lot of different kinds of deck in Magic. And the issue with playing a 1v1 is that sometimes, especially if it's just the best of one, is that if you play like the proper ranked modes and all that, what you're

really meant to do is play several games against each other and you have a sideboard where you swap some cards in. So you're like, oh, okay, he's playing this kind of deck. So I'll bring in these cards that deal with that kind of deck. And equally, he does the same thing. So that's pretty much how it's meant to be. The game is not balanced around blindly playing against someone. Because it's the same thing with Dota. The game is balanced around the best players, right? You can't balance it around the idiots. You have to balance it around the best players. So anyone that's semi-competent or copies the best players should be winning. But the thing is then their decision-making isn't going to be as good so there were multiple games of magic i won where the other guy definitely could

have won but fucked up um and i did quite like that it wasn't just as simple as well the cards down and now they've won yeah um this is decision making does come into it i i i mean this is a eternal problem in game design like the fact that you can net deck or you can just a lot of people don't want to have to come up with their own list and so it's very hard it's a 60 card deck it's almost and you've got thousands of cards well it's not very difficult it's a 10 card deck in i know it is yeah and uh and and only six turns to play those 10 cards yeah it's It's not that bad. The one thing I don't like about it is that there's very limited sort of strategy

compared to a lot of other games because you can't attack like cards directly or the player directly like the way you can in Magic. And like a lot of the time, whatever the random areas in the middle are,

as they get revealed, that will really swing things. So it kind of, I mean, it's meant to be a very quick mobile card game and in that regard it succeeds but it obviously lacks lacks a lot of the depth um that a lot of other good card games i think you're you're i think it's a very good idea though to have very small decks with this randomized elements i mean imagine the only other solution is basically to build your deck as you go but then suddenly you're in a deck builder you're in a robot you're in a very different game arena right yeah like these things don't necessarily and they sometimes come down to luck you know or they they become very overwhelmingly complex too quickly yeah um and so it's a very

fine line to walk and some people want complexity and some people want simplicity and so you you i like the simplicity but also for me with snap i i don't care so much about playing against people on the ladder and stuff like that i just want i treat it like a mobile game i just want to do the dailies that i have i just want to work my way through the battle pass unlock cards you know like upgrade them foil them or whatever you want to just collect another member of the x-men exactly like and i'm fine with that like it's you know that it does it for me like i you know i spend like an hour a day on it or whatever and i have that sort of dead time when i'm graham x putting kids to bed or whatever is he'll and that's fine

ray yeah and glasses and some like some of the games can be fun like depending you know like sometimes you play against people who just are trying different things out and you you can see all these like fun interactions and stuff and that you know those those games are are great and then you just ron just hit the post. My goodness. Oh, and they hit it again. Oh, my God. P-flags. They hit one post, then they hit the other, and then Hennessy grabbed it.

Oh, my goodness, that was close. Well, amazing stuff. Great podcasting, lads. We're going to put a pin in it here, but thank you. I hope all of you have a nice Get Charts. Put a pin in it. Get Charts to check on Jingle burner. Circle back around next week. Yeah, let's all make sure that we're all singing from the same hymn sheet next week.

We'll get a helicopter view of the situation. Going forward, it would be good if we could all rendezvous and reconnoiter out the podcast next week. Yes. Get a rendezvous going on there on time. And make sure you keep up with the corporate mergers and Rustler's Burgers. And Rustler's Burgers as well. Oh, God.

Struggled to recall that one. We did it. Wowzers. We did it. Peace on the call back. God bless. See you next time. Have a great December.

Goodbye. Love you.