Triforce! - Triforce! #255: The Common Sense of First Dates

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

Triforce! Episode 255! Flax is back from a huge Dota break and missed the grand coronation, we're back to our TV show recommendations and we test ourselves on some first date questions! Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly. Well, well, well. Hello there. Welcome back to Triforce Podcast. It's me, your host of the most sips and two sicky dickies. We got two real sicky dickies with us today.

Flax and Lewis, who are sick. Hello. Hi. Listen to how sick they sound. Yeah, I know. Well, you know, this is what happens when you get older. You know, you just talk about how sick you all are. Yes.

And how sick your friends are and how sick everyone is. Well, just for some contrast, I went to the doctors yesterday. I'm not sick. I had a blood test. They did my blood pressure. My blood pressure is 110 over 70 at my age. Holy shit, man. I'm all right. I had a blood test. They did my blood pressure. My blood pressure is 110 over 70 at my age Holy shit, man. I'm alright. I don't even move. I don't know how I've done it. But there you go What was that just like a general checkup? What was that like? What was that?

No, it's like a follow-up from all of my my intrusions from months ago if you remember It's a follow-up. They just want to monitor some levels and stuff. But while I was there, I was like, it was just a blood test. And it's just like, it feels like a waste of time just to go in for one thing. So I was like, can you just like check my blood pressure and speak to me softly about my cholesterol levels and stuff like that? You know, like the standard stuff. And they did.

And then I left. I've been thinking about doing that. Like a full health checkup thing. So I'm like 40 this year and I haven't, you know, done the finger up the bum for forever i've never had that yeah i don't think you i don't think you just need to go in and have that i think if you have like you know something that you're worried specifically that you can if you want but i'm just saying like don't do it unless you think that it's worth having it done i mean you do you god but at the same I mean, I wouldn't just book in unless there was something really bugging me. Well, it's more that I'm just, I haven't done, it's more that I'm, I think it is worth having these yearly checkups.

So, I've got a question for you. How are you going to get it? How are you going to get it? How are you going to book a checkup? I'll Google it. I can't get an appointment at my fucking GP's for love nor money. Well, you just phone up. You just phone up and you go, yeah, just phone up and go through the automated thing.

It's like, press one. No, that's not what happens. What happens for me is I call up and it says all the lines are busy. You get in a queue, you get through, and you say, I'd like to make an appointment, and they say, we've none left. That's every day. That is every single day. You have to ring earlier.

No, I'm calling at 8.30. It's like buying Glastonbury tickets. It's ridiculous. Have you ever considered maybe doing a remote consultation on webmd.com? Stick my own finger up my bum. Yeah. Well, they'll guide you through the process, I'm sure. I'm worried I'd get a pervert on the other.

Yeah, that's right. Stick your finger up your bum. Yeah. So take your own index finger. Take the thing that you can lube it up with? Tell me how it feels. How does it feel? You got any Kenny G you can put on?

Kenny G. Another bang up to date reference here on the Triforce podcast. Kenny G. No, so I mean, I'm obviously, we're British as well, right? So it's like, well, I'm not not gonna go and ask anyone if i'm sick because most of the time they'll just be like you're fine just go away don't waste my time it's more important look that old lady she's about to keel over germany yeah well it's a weird one because i think a big part of people uh dying is is the fact that they don't go to get checked right

and like particularly men with um you know like, problems in and around their private parts and their asses and stuff, there's a reluctance to go in to get checked, right? I feel like it's like an old stereotype. Oh, I'll be fine. I'm fine. Let's lift some more concrete. Come on. Put you back into it.

Exactly. The old, you know, the old wartime spirit. Yes. Just make do and carry on it's a silent killer that spirit like yeah it's not so much like the embarrassment of the the ass is the embarrassment of bothering someone you know who's busy and important do you know i mean like putting them out you know it's not a waste of their time yeah i don't know there is that attitude towards it i think if you're paying for it it's different but because it's all like

because the nhs is this subsidized thing which I think if you're paying for it, it's different. But because it's all like, because the NHS is this subsidized thing, which is obviously great in the UK, but it's, there is this element of like thinking, well, you know, someone else might need it more than I do. Right. And so you can put stuff off. So I probably should, and I will, you shouldn't say you should. Like I said, though, I would go if you have you have concerns you know like if there's been a change in your you're not a doctor and your audience or your habits or something no i know i'm not but i'm just saying like yeah well you

can you can probably avoid a lot of unnecessary poking since since last year after twitchcon i got very sick and ever since i've kind of had this like recurring kind of getting fever and getting sick for a few days. And I think initially, I just thought it was, oh, I must have flu. Because it was kind of flu-like type stuff. But I think it's so recurring now that I'm actually worried it is something. Like a dormant, recurring lurgy. It sounds to me like a vitamin deficiency.

Right. You might need to supplement. What kind of vitamins would you say you're you're most likely uh deficient in based on your lifestyle and diet anything i'm deficient in vitamin e for exercise i'm deficient in vitamin f for fucking deficient in vitamin d for c for companionship oh my god this is so sad this is really sad isn't it no i'm fine i'm honestly fine i'm actually like mentally i'm better than i've been i got a surplus in vitamin t for tears that i'm sharing possibly i don't know like i i don't want to do it but i think feel like it's it's it's like a milestone isn't it

well just go then i mean i don't i mean i'm not trying to stop you i'm just saying no i will you know don't don't don't enter this stuff lightly because it is, it will literally be somebody jamming their fist up your ass and having a poke around and stuff. That's what I'm hoping for though. Yeah, yeah. I know this is very like 90s. I'm going to make eye contact while it's happening. Yeah, well, I know. The whole thing is very 90s Seinfeld, isn't it?

Like, let me ask you guys, do you have any hang ups about who does this to you? Like, would you be specific? Would you have to have a man or woman doctor? I'd rather have a lady doctor do it, in all honesty. I don't know why. And what about having like a massage? What about a sports massage? I think a lady would be gentler.

I don't want a bloke doing a massage either. I ain't calling me sexist or misandrist or whatever, but I'm not a big fan of blokes in general. So don't want them sticking a finger up me bum or mass or massaging me i think yeah again it's the gentleness right like i think that some people could go ham on the massage um and like really i'm a i'm a puny kind of thin guy right i don't want a big beefy guy with hairy knuckles coming and like snapping my back in half yeah well it's the last thing i want i don't know if it's necessarily like that. I'll say that for all the stuff I had done, it was all dudes. It was all dudes that did all my stuff. Right. Oh, well, there's all the work.

It always will be. I mean, it's like- I don't know, I didn't mind though. I don't, I honestly didn't mind either way. It's seen as one of those things, isn't it? Where it's more acceptable. Cause there's no, I think, especially for women, of course, they would always want a woman, I presume, to do this stuff, but I think there are a lot of male gynecologists out there. So women just have to put up with having a bloke do their gynecology stuff. I think there's a lot less, in the same way that there's male nurses, but there's

a lot less. Yeah, you do see. And I think, often times- They're for sure out there, but you do see them a lot less. What you hear from these guys is that it's not any, you know, yeah, you're seeing vaginas, but they're sick vaginas. Well, of course. No, the gynecologists don't just see sick vaginas.

They see- I don't know. Do you know what I mean? As if that's the selling point of being a gynecologist. Vaginas in their prime. It's one of those things, though. Like, you're going to get something done, and you think, like, what if he shoves his finger up my ass, and then I just come everywhere but like man it's like

you get there and you're just immediately medicalized to the gills and this it's the last thing on your mind you know like you know it is weird isn't it the uh the the sort of um hospital kink that people have, where they get turned on by medical stuff. You just think, I can't think of a less sexy environment. That's a weird one. I don't get it, yeah. I don't understand it. Maybe that's part of it. It's so sterile and clinical and stuff, you know what I mean? Like, I want to have like, Better Roses and some Michael Bolton on and...

Another bang-up-to-date reference here? I know, it's... you know what I mean? Like... I don't know. Yeah. Well, you don't understand other people's kinks, sure. Like feet's such a common one, right? But it's confusing to the people who don't understand. I'm sure we talked about it before.

It's gotta be like a shape thing, right? No, I've got some theories about it. You think it's like a sensory thing? No, I don't think it's even that. I think it's a combination of factors, but when you see someone barefoot, it says, it kind of speaks to an element of vulnerability. There's also a kind of an innocence there, and also it's just something that's hidden. And there's something about someone having bare feet that is like a hint of intimacy

and a hint of exposure without actually going any further. I mean, how often do you see bare feet in your average day outside your house? It's not often, right? Well, you're making me think feet are sexy now, P-Flight. I'm very good at this, you know, analysing kinks and stuff. I think about it a lot, because it's fascinating. It's not something that people can control. I think I now have a foot fetish.

There you go. What do you think about those socks that have like toe holes in them? Like, you know, it's like a pair of gloves, but for your feet. And you have like- Oh, there's something wrong with those. I can't put my finger on it. Your toes into each thing or whatever. Yeah, very disturbing.

If you're a foot fetishist and somebody puts on those socks, would you be turned off? Yeah, let us know. Because I feel like that. I hate the look of that. I don't like the idea of fabric between my toes. No, it gets pretty nasty. Maybe you'd get used to it. Maybe you'd get used to it.

Yeah, I suppose. I mean, I think it's because we're just turning the cusp of this long winter. Everyone is like looking at the sun and then thinking, oh, we had like an afternoon of vaguely warm weather and then it pauses raining again. You know, we're almost free. We're almost at summertime, right? it's like you can taste it and it's been i think we're at this peak now of everyone being like i'm sick of the bad weather i'm sick of i don't know it's a positive time in a sense like we are sort of waking up to new things being able to go outside new ideas yeah like turning that corner we've been i don't know if people listen to podcasts

would have noticed this but we've actually been away pflax has been away for yeah three weeks yeah what for yeah did you have a nice trip well we so we went to vienna a series of trips a month ago vienna was fantastic what a beautiful city if you haven't been to vienna i recommend it it's got amazing buildings it's just a beautiful just walking around the average street is wonderful. The food in Vienna was superb. Absolutely superb. Just everywhere we went, it was really, really good. Great museums. It's wonderful. It's a beautiful, beautiful city and I recommend it. I can't speak to the rest of Austria, but I understand that's beautiful too. But yeah, big fan of Vienna and I want to see more of Austria. Then I went to Sweden for a week for Dream League, which was like, I was co-hosting that with Shiva. It was a Dota league leading up

to qualification for the Riyadh masters, which is a tournament they're going to have, I think in July in Riyadh, in Saudi Arabia for $17 million is the price. So this is like a sort of a alt TI if you like. So the international, obviously, Valve and everyone runs that. This is a second TI, if you like, that ESL and their Saudi owners have put on. Right. So this is qualifying for that. And then-

Have they put it on, or would you say they laid it on? They're laying it on. They've laid on a tournament. All right, okay, good. And then I spent two weeks in Berlin, working at the Berlin Major, which was a big Dota tournament. Points, DPC points qualifying for TI and like a prize pool and stuff.

So I spent three weeks working quite hard, I'd say. And the most recent patch has changed the game quite a bit, right? It's, in my opinion, the biggest patch in Dota history. I know some people have doubted that and there's been some arguments about it, but this has fundamentally changed the game completely. Yeah, the whole flow of it is a lot more different, right? 40% bigger map. I never thought they would change the map that much. And everything's changed. And unfortunately, it's quite busted. And there's a lot of heroes that are just no good. So the Berlin Major was sort of... It was okay, but a lot of the games were...

Is Tinker one of those heroes that's no good. He's not like mega busted. But in the Berlin major there was there was one ticket performance that was so good. Kiyotaka this young lad was just owning everybody on it. So teams would ban it against him. But otherwise, the major was good. It was unfortunately I did get sick apparently from from being there as a lot of people there. It's very, very busy event. The previous i went to was stockholm major and that was the one just after covid was starting to sort of you know open up places of starting to open up it wasn't as busy but this one was right we sold out so you spent a week in germany then where was no no a week in stockholm sorry a week in austria a week in holiday two weeks in berlin we can stockholm for work and then two weeks in

berlin for work yeah what was it like being Stockholm for work and then two weeks in Berlin for work, yeah. What was it like being away for like four weeks without, you know, in non-English speaking countries? Well, it was weird because... You just get used to it quite quick. Yeah, I mean, obviously when we were in Vienna, that was for like, what, three days or four days or something? That was with the family, so that was okay. Everyone speaks English in Sweden, everybody, without fail. I've never met anyone that doesn't. everyone i'm working with of course speaks english and

then in germany i i think i left i think i spent maybe uh 12 hours doing something other than being in the hotel or being at work uh that's how much time in two weeks yeah it was i barely left the hotel because we were we were just either working or I was preparing for the next day, or we were just knackered because we'd had a long day or whatever. So it really wasn't like a holiday. No. Yeah, it was hard. It was really hard.

No, well done. Good work. Well, I bet you're glad to be home. I'm so glad to be home. So glad. You could just put your feet up and, you know, do whatever you like now. Yeah. And now I'm coming down to Bristol in a week and a bit so holy crap lewis is going to be away apparently i'm horrified

yeah i am oh my god me and pet are going to see uh boba in florida um oh my god so we're gonna gonna do a week there if i'm feeling well enough um oh you'll be all right by then i'm sure yeah that's the hope see if you can overcome this this this debilitating lurgy that you seem to have. Yeah, I'll be around next week, actually. So we will be able to record another podcast. But yeah, like it's been weird to not chat to you guys. It's like I've not seen my therapist. I'm not able to get all the weird thoughts out of my head.

So what have you been up to, Sips? You've been fixing your house. My house, it's still ongoing it you know what it's like there's a lot of different teams that need to be brought in it's a pretty big job so um sometimes they just don't turn up you know so we just have days or weeks where nothing happens and then all of a sudden a lot happens and they gotta order supplies and shit like that too so it's getting there it's almost done it'll be nice when it's done uh my downstairs toilet has been out of action for about six months now sorry about that thank god we haven't had any guests because i don't know what the heck i would do without that

right way up and running i don't guess when allowed to use your bathroom well they're not but if they if they actually you know what actually they can use, we have a, an onsite. Bucket. Porta, Portaloo outside. Oh, really? For all the work that's happening. So if I did have a guest, I could send them outside to use that thing. It gets cleaned out once a week. A guy turns up with like a big tank on a truck and a hose and he washes it down. It's really nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but yeah, no, hopefully we'll be up and running pretty soon but otherwise i haven't really been doing much playing a lot of rim world and i've been watching uh succession i started watching the uh the latest um season of succession as and where i'm caught up to the point now where they're i'm watching them as they come out uh because it's the it's the last season it's all it's all ending which i think is good it's four seasons i think it's enough i think it's enough's all ending, which I think is good. It's four seasons. I think it's enough.

I think it's enough. Four seasons of a show, I think is pretty good. You know, you wrap up like the big storyline, get some closure, move on with your life, you know? Yeah. It's a bit 50-50, isn't it? Yeah. Especially since there's a writer's strike going on at the moment.

And I'm guessing that if they tried to do... It would be years before anything else came out. Do you remember the last writer's strike? Yes. When there were... Television was just bad for six months for some reason. Yeah, yeah. And everything went to shit.

I was reading something about that. Apparently, in Breaking Bad, after... I think it was after the first season of Breaking Bad, the writer's strike hit. And there were plans to kill off Hank Schrader in the story early, get rid of him early. And then, but because of the writer's strike, they had time to sit around and think about it and they decided not to. And then the show was as it was because of that. Kind of interesting to think, eh? Could have been different, I suppose. Oh, wow. So you're saying it's actually might be a good thing.

No, I'm not saying that it's a necessarily good thing. I mean, it's a good thing, I guess, if the writers get what they're after, or what they're striking for in the first place. But you know, sometimes you can get a weird outcome off the back of something unexpected, right? It's a good example. There were a lot of shows... Well, last time was in 2007, right? And they didn't really feel, people didn't really feel the effect until about a year and a half later. Yeah, because everything would have been backed up.

They would have, you know, my favorite show isn't premiering for another two years now because nobody's been working on it. I guess I'm not exactly sure what the word writer applies to. Is it screenwriter? Yeah. Or is that people? Yeah, it's the Screenwriters guild of america right that's the that's the i'm gonna give my i've been following this a little bit and i remember

when they were talking about the issue and i believe that it's to do with that the way streaming services operate is that they're essentially not paying the writers what they do because they've got some deal where if they stream it for a certain amount of time, they don't have to pay the writers. And then the writers basically are making peanuts compared to what they could be. If you write a show, one of the things is that every time it's rerun, you get some royalties, right? And it sort of provides some money over time. So one of the reasons a lot of older shows don't get rerun is because they have to pay the writers every time they do it.

So these streaming services would rather not play a lot of these older shows. Think how many older shows you just can't get on streaming service, because they'd have to pay these royalties and shit. So as I understand it, that's part of it, but there's also something to do with they want to renegotiate this deal and it's going to be dog shit for the writers. I think arguably, if you're going to put that greed over quality of writing, we are destined to have just abysmal television forever. Because when I think about the really good shows in the last 20 years in particular,

there've been so many really, really good television shows, like geek television. Yeah. Far better than what went before. You can be rose-tinted about a lot of things, but you cannot be rose-tinted about TV. It is so much better now than it used to ever be. Oh my God, it is. It's ridiculous. It's so much better.

They will fuck it if they get greedy and decide not to pay writers. Because the reason it's so good is because writers are allowed to actually write good shows. People realise, people woke up to this idea that you could have long form shows that were well written and complicated, and the audience wasn't a bunch of fucking idiots who are going to go, I don't understand what's happening. Why that guy... Who's this character on the screen? Honey, he was in it last week.

I didn't watch last week. What's going on? It's like, you just want night rider because it's simple i know night riders guy in his car simple you know it's like that's we've moved on that was an adult tv show we've moved on to stuff like the sopranos and the wire and breaking bad and all these shows that are cultural phenomena and it's because we're you know writers are writing these shows if you fuck them off and say now we don't need writers you're going to end up with dog shit that's it yeah is is it like i don't know what the process is.

Is it like, I guess it's part of the production. Like while they're writing the episodes, other ones are being filmed. And also all the production is being done. So if there's no writing, I guess they just have to stop. And that's very costly. They'll have no script to work from. they'll have nothing to plan to film and stuff, right? Because there's definitely a lot of shows, I know, where very late script changes

is a big thing. I mean, Community is a prime example of this, that a lot of the time they'd be sort of shooting, and scripts were being written while they're filming for scenes. Right. And it's very last minute, because while they're filming for scenes. Right. It's very last minute because while you're making, I think if you're making a TV show, obviously I'm only guessing here, but this is all the stuff that you read about productions and films. Script rewrites is a big thing where as they're filming,

they're like, you know what? I actually think this scene needs to be bigger because we've seen how this other scene looks now. And while it's an important scene, we can't follow it with this scene. We need to beef this one up. So there's a lot of rewrites and changes, dialogue getting rewritten. You need writers for that. So if you lose the writers, I mean, Severance, for example, is a show that I really loved. I've talked about it a bunch. Great show, came out last year. Phenomenal. It's now, they've paused production because of The Strike. And even though you think, oh, surely it's not It's now, they've paused production because of the strike.

Yeah. And even though you think, oh, surely they- it's not like a book that they've just written it, edited it, published it. It's a living thing. So, while you're working on the show, you're making changes. So, you need writers. I guess it's not as impactful on movies because of the way, I guess, you just need- Yeah, usually a script is- Minus script changing or script- Yeah. But I guess they're writers

as well I wonder if a lot of the strike as well is to do with solidarity so if the writers go on strike you can't do writing this idea of this sort of unionisation of filmmaking is very important because

if you have a film and people just say like anyone could do it, then essentially people outside the guild, outside the union if you like, they will just continually get cheap labor in. There's no point specializing in an industry where your job can be replaced so easily. Yeah. So, you lose all this specialization and expertise because it's too risky. With all the all

the stuff about ai recently as well i wonder if any cheeky chappies out there are just gonna get like you know use ai to to finish up well we were so close to finishing the script and then the writer's strike hit and uh well if ai is generating the rest they're not technically writers so yeah i think that's one of the things they want we made the decision they want to put a stop to or at least put some limits on ai being used in in this in the in the world of script writing maybe so it is a genuine fear yeah they're going to be replaced now some people might say oh well you know the lord lorings was bad already so what's gonna get um but the answer is a lot worse good good voice i think that's the best voice i've ever heard you do so the other thing that happened while you guys while you're away pflex was we got a new

fucking king yeah oh yeah holy shit yeah we did english they didn't they didn't um they didn't wait for you to get back either. They just fucking went ahead. Everyone went mad and was obsessed with all of this garbage. Royal fever. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know if you watched any of the 12-hour televised ceremonial nonsense, P-Flaxips. I didn't see any of it.

I didn't watch much of it i caught glimpses of the you know the concert that they did which was i think the next day right was like in the evening the next day yeah i caught bits and pieces yeah i caught bits and pieces of that it was very very reminiscent of the uh the jubilee last last year was it last year yeah it must have been right a lot of it was very very very very similar very similar it's all very religiously leaning and also very traditional leaning because the last time we did this was 50 years or 60 years ago even longer than that probably and so as a result it's they've tried to apparently king charles as he is now like took like four hours or something off this you know out show me yeah oh yeah they've

got like a holy ointment that they need to apply they've got a he's always been quite media savvy like or at least more modern than than the old god to some extent and so you know he he understands this whole thing's being televised and people aren't going to want to sit through, you know, two hours of anointing and two hours of prayers and two hours of this stuff. Do you know what I mean? And so I think he kind of, I can imagine though, he was like negotiating. He was like,

oh, do you want to do the voice? One of the things. Sorry, which voice? Prince Charles. What am I saying? He was negotiating with the church. So, Charles, we need to add all of this nonsense that's been, because it's tradition, and otherwise God's going to be upset with us. Yes. Oh, you know.

Whatever you need to do, go ahead. No. I don't know. Is he meant to be unhappy? No, he's saying that it's got to be shorter. Yeah, it's got to be shorter. He's got to take it up. He wants to slim it all down.

He wants to slim down the whole operation, doesn't he? They want to slim down the whole operation, don't they? He wants to have less working royals. He wants it streamlined, slimlined. Streamlined! Slimlined! Why do I sound like Brian Stewart, dog from Stuart from fucking Family Guy? Yeah, and there's Stewie.

Yeah, yeah. You sound a little bit like Stewie. I'm too sick to do my Prince Philip. It's very close. The thing that drives me nuts about, okay, so the whole thing, the procession itself is like, you know, it's like any royal thing where they have to go somewhere, right? They come out of Buckingham Palace in the chariot and all the fucking guards are with them and stuff march and

and you know it's whatever like you get to see the marching band and it's it's impressive right like the the pageantry is is is pretty impressive and i don't mind that so much you know they have to get to the place that they're going to they arrive and then it's like three or four hours of really boring shit and then they leave and then it's the same right it's the procession back to wherever they're going and then you saw it with the queen and everything as well the whole thing takes hours and there's parts of it that are interesting enough that i don't mind watching the thing that drives me nuts though is and forever i fucking hate the hangers on around the royal family right i hate i hate the filler that they use, like in the coverage, because it's like it's like a 12 hour event.

And so the BBC will run coverage on it for 12 hours, like throughout the duration of the event. And most of it is like whatever. But then they'll just get people on. And it's just like, oh, yeah, we've got the Duke of Dickley. Yeah, we've got Jenny Smith here who once sat 15 rows behind the royal family at some event in 1975. Give us some insight. And you say, fuck off, Jenny. Like, you don't know shit about them. Like, this is a pretty close family by design, right?

Like, not a lot of people have a tremendous amount of insight. But the filler is fucking tedious, man. Like, they just find these fucking people and it's just the worst like and it goes on and on and on and on fuck me it's uh it's amazing it's like a cottage industry and being royals adjacent oh god and so some people pride themselves so so much on it too and you just think get a fucking life like it's it's just so sad you know what i mean like i mean there's always people like that in like celebrity culture yeah they're like d-list

and what's his what's his fucking faces on that fucking um i'm a celebrity get me out of here again this year fucking paul burrow fuck me that guy is such a fucking cretin, isn't he? He's just like, just fuck off forever. Please. Nobody fucking cares or wants to hear from you. Like, it's the worst. Oh, God. Yeah, so that's how we felt. So, we were all very Coronation Spirits guys here at the Tribal Contest.

Just loving it. Loving every damn minute of it. Now, like I said, some of it is really good. I love the marching and the music and stuff is great. It's a fun event. I think I prefer Eurovision, but you know, the coronation's fine. We'll probably have another one in a couple of years. It's not going to be long.

Yeah, I wonder actually. I mean, it's a pretty big event in that it is a generational thing, right? Like for some people that might be the only one they ever see you know and like the the the previous one was so long ago my mom my mom was was up here or something while i was away she was up here helping look after the kids and stuff she's a mega royals fan right she fucking loves them loved the queen and she watched the whole coronation the whole thing the whole 12 hours a lot of people did jenny smith they had fucking lionel richie they had katie perry and lionel richie who is still in my top five babes list yeah she did uh she slammed out too then the nice

thing about the concert that they do as well is they don't let anybody go on, right? Like, they had Olly Mears on, and I was like, oh, fuck. But he only did one song. Yeah. And it was like two minutes, and he's done, you know? And I think that's great. I wanted to see Chucky get up there and do a duet, a surprise duet. Hello, Olly. How are you?

Tell me, let's do that favorite number of ours. Oh, no, but you know, some of these shows, they'll get somebody on. Get a bucket and a mop for this oh fuck yeah i don't know it was all right like parts of it like i said we're okay but i don't know it's it's a weird one there's there's the whole drama around harry and and and megan as well megan megan didn't go uh harry dropped in for like 10 minutes and it was his son's birthday on the same day so he was just like oh i gotta get home to see my son on his birthday like just fucking stay home like he wasn't even allowed

to do half of the shit that he was normally meant to do anyway he sat at the back yeah he did yeah i mean it's it's it's, you know, it's whatever. I mean, Prince Charles, King Charles, sorry, is pretty old. I'm sure that he'll probably- I don't think he's gonna live as long as his mum did because men tend not to. But then again, his dad lived a bloody long time. He did, but I think there's definitely some indications that maybe he has like some heart problems, right?

Yeah, those fingers. Them fingers. He's got some pretty swollen ass fingers there. Well, you know, it's hard to get an appointment. That's it. I mean, that's it. You phone up and they're all booked up and stuff. It's crazy. Hello? Hello?

I wonder if I could speak to someone about my fat fingers. I have major sausage fingers. I barely have to have the wrong number with my sausagey fingers. Apologies. This is a pizza place. Sorry.

Oh, you're all booked up all day. Well, I have a pizza anyway. I'll try again tomorrow. One large pepperoni, please. Fuck it. Before we continue, it's time for us to mention our sponsor this week. You want to guess who it is? Is it ExpressVPN?

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Thank you, Sibs. Three extra months free. Okay, no problem. Thanks. On with the show. All right, I got a question for you guys. When you order a pizza from a pizza place, and they also do like chicken wings, are you ever ordering...

Oh, actually, you guys are the wrong people to talk to about this. No, we don't. Chat. I wouldn't even before either. People listening. I'm very suspicious of ordering chicken wings and chicken nuggets and all that from a pizza place cause you know, it's just a bag of frozen shit they chuck in a deep-fry. When I do order pizza over here, I just do it online now, like, I don't even use

the phone. Yeah, of course. Cause there's just a- you just use a website and order it, and then sometimes I'll order like a little bit of cheeky garlic bread as well, know who the hell calls a p who who on earth calls a pizza place well i used to have to i don't know i mean it's like i i'm not i don't do it like often so when i guess it just i don't know i mean it's all deliveroo in that now isn't it yeah yeah mostly mainly like uh more so for you guys that that the whole food delivery thing is like really um has it has it missed you lot down there on the islands it's

just not as it's not as big because it's a small place right so there's still a lot of people uh no well no it's got they've got our own like local food delivery thing which is just a you know it just ropes in all the local restaurants and stuff gruber yeah i will deliver the pizza he just yells loud at the top of his voice and everyone in jersey can hear yeah no i think it's still fairly common for people to go pick up food so they'll order it ahead of time and then go pick it up the old traditions it's a small place you know this is what happens i bet the bet the royal sentiment is high over in Jersey. I mean, I can't imagine. It seems like a fairly traditional place.

It is a fairly traditional place, yeah. I think they did a bunch of stuff for the coronation. They usually have, like, a big screen in, like, the... We got, like, the royal square. So, like, I think people tend to go down there. We had the bank holiday for the coronation on the Monday. And then on Tuesday, we had our own local public holiday for Liberation Day, which is to commemorate the liberation of Jersey in World War II.

So the whole weekend was very, you know, lots of flags everywhere. Marching bands and people doing cosplays. We had a street party, which was nice. What, did you contribute? I missed it. I was away. No. I was away, so I missed the street party. Oddly enough, the cabbie that picked me up at the airport,

I thought this was a stupid question. You could judge whether I'm being a little mean here. Picks me up from Heathrow. I've got an enormous bag because I've been away for so long. And my backpack. And I'm knackered. I get in the cab. And it's in the

morning and it's, it's would be clear at casual glance. This person has clearly been away for some time because of the size of the bag and the, and the fatigue, my size of my bag and the bags under my eyes. I was absolutely shattered. We pull into my street. He sees all the bunting that's hanging up and he goes, oh, were you here for the party? Which was yesterday the day before I got there. And'm thinking does he think that i stayed for the party flew out with a giant bag flew back that morning come on mate what a ridiculous question i was like no use your fucking brain it was like i've been away he was like oh yeah and fuck's sake it's a pretty stupid question i don't know what yeah maybe it's just like really fumbling around for things to say, you know?

Maybe. Maybe you felt a bit awkward. It was just such a weird thing to suggest that I could have possibly been here for. You just picked me up from the airport, brother. Come on. Yeah. I'm so sick. I'm getting angry.

It's all right. All right, Sips. You have to carry the rest of this podcast. Okay. Let me think of something to say. Hang on a second. Lift with your legs as well. I'm trying to think of anything interesting happening.

Did I tell you guys about I went to the doctor? Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. The house where my kids went back to school this week. Oh, fuck. My life is so boring. I just don't do anything. How about a TV show recommendation?

This is on Apple TV. So if you don't have Apple TV, I apologize. It's called Silo. Silo. It's based on a book called Wool. And it's basically these people live in a gigantic sort of silo. Oh. And it goes way underground.

And they have different levels. And there's like generator level, the mining level. Right. But the whole society lives in this silo. And what are the conditions relating to them forced to be living in this silo? Like, is it an apocalypse? No, so they don't know. A nuclear?

Oh, they don't know. No. So they're in there and they're sealed in and there are rules laid down by the founders. And one of them is you can't go outside. If you go outside, you can't come back in if you if you say i want to leave you have to leave but then they'll boot you out and they put like a special suit on you and they're like good luck when you're out there they ask you to clean the camera there's a camera at the top of the silo that shows the conditions outside and these screens are all throughout the common areas of the silo that show the wasteland outside right and they ask you to clean the dust off the camera because it gets all gummed up with

with dust so you go out there you clean it and then you walk a bit and you collapse and you die that's like they actually that's the setup you have to you'll have to work that is the that is the the opening fuck me this sounds like a great show so what's it called silo silo i'm committing that to my mind palace. So it's only on episode two. Episode three comes out tomorrow. It's got Tim Robbins is in it. Rashida Jones is in it.

There's a Rebecca Ferguson is in it. If you know those names, then. I know Tim Robbins and Rashida Jones, but I don't know the third name you mentioned. Did you see the Mission Impossible movies with Tom Cruise? Okay. No, I avoided those. She's very good. I with Tom Cruise? Oh, okay. No, I avoided those. She's very good. I avoided those like the plague, actually.

She's very good. She is great. Yeah, yeah. She's in The Office as well. Oh, what character does she play in The Office? No, that's Rashida Jones. Oh, yeah. Who are you talking about?

Rebecca Ferguson. Oh, sorry. I don't know who that is. No, I do. She's in stuff. I recognize her. Sure. I watched a bit of Yellow Jackets, which I quite like. I, I do. She's in stuff. I recognise her. Sure. I watched a bit of Yellow Jackets, which I quite like.

Yellow Jackets. Oh, is that the one? Yellow Jackets is the one, it's kind of like Lord of the Flies or something, right? Yeah. It's like Lost Only, they've got flash forwards instead of flashbacks. So, it's like there's all these, this sort of teenage soccer team gets stranded in Canada in the wilderness. Oh. And there's like flash forwards to when they're all late, sort of mid soccer team gets stranded in Canada in the wilderness. Oh.

And there's like flash forwards to when they're all late, sort of mid 40s. Oh, so that's like- Maybe early 40s. The flash forwards are them looking back on their time lost

in the thing. Yes. In the forest and how it's affected them and stuff. Oh, that's kind of cool. And they're all kind of, yeah, it's quite well done actually

because you think, oh, well, surely, but it kind of leans, it's quite cleverly done. I mean, you have to understand when you're setting something up like that people are going to be like well this person definitely survives but it's it's if you don't see any flash forwards from them you you you're like raising yourself for when they die and stuff i think they planned it quite carefully i.e they didn't i guess this is a writing thing right they didn't i don't feel like they knew necessarily who was going to be in an adult in season two until season one had aired and they'd had some feedback and

people said oh i love this character i love this character do you know i mean because i think i think a lot of times tv shows do adapt quite heavily based on what people are fond of what people like you know there's certain characters i mean it's the classic thing with like um was it daryl in the walking dead you know he was intended to be there for like- Daryl is the Death Stranding guy, right? Yes, he is. The brother that nobody liked? Norman Reedus.

He was only supposed to be in it for, you know, an episode or something. But then he became, you know, the main character, basically. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. What the hell? Okay. I lost interest in that show When they were in the prison

And Carl's mum died What was the other guy, the main guy What was his name again? His son was called Carl Yeah, Rick, it was Rick Rick Grimes So does Rick die, eventually?

Don't worry about spoilering it, I will never go back and watch it again. Yeah, I think it does, doesn't he? Right, okay. So, he dies, he's written out, and then what? Norman Reedus takes over as the main guy? Maybe not. Maybe he just- maybe he leaves. All right.

Maybe he leaves. I can't remember. But he's- according to the Wikipedia article, it says he's still alive, so I'm not sure. All right. The comics are different to the show anyway. They obviously diverge. The first couple of seasons of that show, I really liked. I loved everything about the setting and-

I wonder how it holds up today. Survival element of stuff. It's not one of those things that people say you should re-watch, you know? I see a lot of people saying, oh, how good Star Trek The Next Generation is and it's worth a re-watch and all this stuff. I don't see people saying that about The Walking Dead. No. Well, I kind of pushed through the Woodbury stuff. I didn't like it. The town with the mayor

and the guy that was collecting zombie heads and shit like that, I thought was just fucking stupid. The Last of Us definitely feels like a much better modern version. Maybe I'll watch that then. Because I quite like that kind of, but that Silo one sounds really good. The Last of Us was great.

Really enjoyed season one of that um i watched um i've been watching uh i'm about halfway through but it's good so far it's a documentary about the making of the movie platoon okay and it's uh it's it's narrated by charlie sheen and it's got interviews with all of the cast so it's got like johnny depp willem defoe charlie sheen a bunch of other guys other guys that you'll recognize from a bunch of other movies that they were in. But it's really interesting because for a lot of those guys, it was their first big movie. They were not well known at the time. And they were all casted up, flown out to the Philippines for a couple of months.

They did actual like a condensed Marine Corps boot camp out in the jungle. And then they kind of film the movie at the same time. But it's interesting. It's funny to see their recollections of the whole thing and everything. It's good. It's only like an hour and a half long or whatever, but I've been watching it on Prime. It's on Prime. I can't remember what it's called. Yeah. There's some good stuff out there. I just i know it's hard to it's hard to keep track of it always it's almost too much honestly um yeah it was a pub the other night with some people chatting about this sort of stuff what was it someone someone said to me i just wanted to see your takes on this right so someone on a date with someone they were like

you went on a date no someone was on a date with someone. Someone else was on a date, and the girl asked him to rate her. Right. Like, what am I? Like, what number am I? Do you know what I mean? I don't like that. How do you deal with that? I don't like that at all.

Even, like, as a teasing thing? I think it feels, what's the word? Insecure. Yeah, it does. But I think you also open yourself up to lies. Yeah, because if I say, oh, you're a 10, you think, oh, this guy's desperate. And if I say, hey, you're like a 6, you'd think, fuck you. So what is the right answer?

Like, just say, like, you don't rate people out of 10. That's ridiculous. Maybe you just be really honest and then just take the hit no matter what. I'd say you were about an 8, but after this question, I'm putting you down to a 2. And I'd fucking get up and storm off. Well, I think the story goes that, like, I don't know where he got this from, but he said he thought she was a six.

So he said eight, and she slapped him anyway. She slapped him? Yeah. Jeez. Which is kind of... Well, honestly, what an an escape it's what you expected wasn't it i would just take a slap and and end this this awful well first of all like i would

coming at this from a scientific point of view there's a there's a lot of difference between like there's a lot of factors right there's like location you know like a car yeah she hit him on the face or did she hit him on the ass you're right the location is important like a los angeles eight is not the same as a um a north go eight a north pole so with this was so are we talking about a bristol eight here um i don't i don't sure what we're saying is location is a factor right and then i don't i don't believe that's true i i don't i i there are a lot of very attractive women in bristol i would say uh you think yeah oh yeah yeah i think probably it's not like it's not like wisconsin is it you know where you're hard

careful there wow easy does it it's all looting you know fucking out come on but then there's also like personal taste there's all this sort of subjective and there's also like age you know fucking out come on but then there's also like personal taste there's all this sort of subjective and there's also like age you know because if we were just measuring on a generic you know like age group how is anyone over 35 ever going to get to be a 10 you know kind of because it's relative isn't it well what if you have like what if you're like the full package you know you're like uh you you're you're handsome or you're attractive you take care of yourself mind body and soul you're you're a nice person you attractive you take care of yourself mind body and soul you're you're a nice person you're generous you know how to live love love you know how to live laugh and love and you have it written on each of your stairs uh up to you up to your okay sure

there are upstairs part of your house and stuff there are super hunks who are over 35 and occasionally super hot bags but i feel like i feel like like i just want to not i just want to i think it's gotta be impossible to answer that question right like without yeah i don't know if it's really like it's it's a dog shit question shouldn't you know you're not like yeah you're not i'm not you're not judging cattle are you like it's you're just you're spending time with somebody and you're hoping that you you click with them's not, it's not really like a rating thing. Maybe it's like a test though. Like,

I mean, there's a lot of questions that people ask on first dates because in a sense you are trying to get, measure someone up, right? Like, but you don't put a fucking number on it to their face. Right.

Like I think a lot of the time people are just nervous and they don't know what to say. And they think this will be a funny little thing to say. And it's not. And then they've fucking destroyed any mood that there was. The only way out now is to escalate or leave. Like, that's it. God, call me the mood destroyer.

Yeah, well. I would feel terrible if somebody slapped me across the face in any situation. But specifically on a first date with somebody, if somebody slapped me across the face, geez, I would feel really bad about that. Yep. That's fair enough. What makes you unique? Me?

What makes you unique? Everyone's unique. What makes me unique? Everyone's unique. What a stupid question. My fingerprints and- You can't say my question was stupid. That doesn't work.

It's a stupid question. What kind of dates do you- I got a large birthmark on the side of my You can't say my question was stupid. It's a stupid question. What kind of dates are you? I got a large birthmark on the side of my shaft as well, which makes me pretty unique. Every single person in the world is. Do you have another question? The whole point. Tell me a random fun fact about yourself.

I hate stupid questions. Yeah, that's fun as hell. Holy crap. That is fun. Yeah, that that is fun yeah that's really fun yeah yeah well do people actually ask um each other these things like on dates or whatever it's hard i don't want to be one of those people who looks down on people who go on dates and stuff and maybe i come across that way because i haven't really had to do a heck of a lot of dating in my life but But I feel like if that's what people are doing, then no wonder people complain about dating all the time. Well, you just met someone.

You pretty much said three sentences to them. You go out for a date. You know what each other looks like and very little else. Maybe you've done a little bit of what are you into and stuff like that, but you haven't met them. What are you going to talk about? Imagine we've just sat down. We've gone out for a date. What's your opening gambit to start a conversation with me yeah oh man i'm

lost already like it's hard right i wouldn't even know like i feel like i feel like you would just try to initially sort of gauge any sort of common interest right but like right you you know you maybe talk about easy stuff so i was watching this documentary about platoon platoon the movie platoon the movie Platoon? The movie Platoon by Oliver Stone. You remember that one? I'm into that. This date is going very well, Lewis.

Continue. Yeah. Yeah. God, what a time. And then when I finished that, I read Trump's autobiography and decided that I really want to see America made great again. How do you rate me? Yeah, how do you rate me? How do you rate me?

I feel like there's this, well, it's the classic thing where the people only want to talk about themselves, really. And also, the other thing that they, not that they recommend, is that, it's kind of a creepy thing. They, the pickup people. They always say things like, oh, you should talk about something that's like exciting like like climbing in the in the alps or something or some holiday right and so that way it's like it's like because then people tend to just chat about similar things like oh yeah that reminds me of a story that i have or that reminds me of an interesting that i did and if you if you do if you can start with something interesting and fun it's gotta be easier to meet people from people that you

work with or or whatever right because you already have some sort of rapport or you have well at least some some environmental things in common here's my here's my theory right now and this might not be true again but i feel like everyone is now online dating is a thing, okay? And if a woman or man wants to have a date with someone, they will usually go on to an online dating. And if they know what they're doing or they're vaguely attractive, they will get hits, right, from people. And they'll talk to them and blah, blah, blah. So approaching someone in the street or at work or in any kind of IRL scenario

is starting to become borderline unpleasant, right? Because it's like, I expect to be hit on through avenues where I've approved to be hit on, and I'm being hit on in those avenues that I'm signed up to, right? So if you are, if you approach someone in the street and you start hitting on them- That's weird. I know, it is weird. Do you ever do that, Lewis? Or anywhere, or anywhere.

Would you ever max somebody in the street? Even at work, right? Especially at work. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. It's like, they're almost like, if they are even single, which there's a good chance they're not, and they'll let you know pretty quick if they're not, it's gonna be like not the right place do you mean it's like i feel like i feel like the idea of hitting people like meeting people outside of very specific places you know maybe the pub is fine

um but like there's not too many places where i consider it to be okay anymore right maybe i'm wrong do you say yeah it's weird isn't it like um i i would find it hard to meet somebody new and also just to trust them as well you know what i mean like you don't really know somebody until you've spent a tremendous amount of time with them and even then maybe you don't fully trust them but you know like meeting somebody new i would be i would feel like really anxious about a lot of things i suppose and i guess a lot of people feel that too because you just don't you fuck you just don't know i i feel like really anxious about a lot of things, I suppose. And I guess a lot of people feel that too, because you just don't, fuck, you just don't know. I feel like it'd be worse for women as well.

Because they're a lot more vulnerable, right? Like to men being fucking weirdos and creeps and stuff. I think that's why the whole meeting on the street thing is almost impossible. But I also think even meeting in a pub or a bar or whatever if you're just some guy at a bar that's that's you're rolling the fucking dice right there like you really are rolling the dice yeah yeah because he could be a lunatic i always feel like that's why meeting people through work and friends and stuff and friends or clubs or something it's gotta be saying it's safe but i'm saying it's definitely safer or even you even

might luck out and meet meet somebody who is not single but they might have a friend or something that they can introduce you to and then at least you have a reference point back to somebody that you both know in are in common or whatever you know like there's something there rather than just this completely fucking random pairing and then you're just hoping for the best i feel like those have to have like a low conversion rate right really low low conversion rate he sounds like a pickup artist already well no but that's maximize your conversion rate conversion rate by about 8.4 percent if you use these lines. Yeah, we're looking for about a 3% growth year on year and we're looking for

just, we're just trying to pick up the conversion rate. Just make sure everybody's on the same page. Buy my e-book for all of the best dating tips that'll really get you a fucking dating e-book. I could not. The actual

how to date ebook and it's just genuine common sense shit yeah first of all don't go in with a mindset that there's a fucking game that you have to play fuck all that yeah just walk up to the lady i think that look straight in the eye and say right let's go back to my place and if she says fuck off you move on to the next one it's a I honestly feel like and I know this is not helpful for a lot of people but to people who are perhaps in this situation one thing worth thinking one thing worth uh thinking about is if you've met somebody and you're like listening you know you're you're you're you're becoming an

adult or you're you're just just an adult you're at school you've met somebody at school for example or whatever and you get together and you're in a in somewhat of a long longer term relationship with them i feel like i feel like that's a good one right you you grow together and you adapt to each other a lot better through growing together i think it's so much harder for people who are in their 30s 40s plus to meet new people your advice is yeah my advice is to turn back time basically i know it's not helpful but i'm just saying if you are in the position where you're like 20 years old and you've had a girlfriend for a couple of years bear it in mind that maybe you know this is this is a good person to start with marty we have to go back because you don't want to be i feel like you don't want to be You don't want to be 40 and dating

There's no way Jennifer I feel like it's It's too hard Like I can't I could not imagine dating At this age Like there's no way

I just wouldn't At this point now I think it would be fun for a while If I was If I'd become single Right now I would probably never speak To another person again

In my whole life I would certainly not be dating I would not be looking to to find a partner or companion or anything i get it like i've been single for nine months now and i haven't been on a single date and i'm not keen to do it right i'm i'm nervous about it and but i'm not nervous but maybe you might just naturally meet somebody through you know know, friends, acquaintances, whatever. I'm kind of happy as I am. Yeah. But also, like, yeah, I think that maybe it's a thing where I'm like looking in the mirror

and I'm like, oh. Do you like what you see? Who, what kind of- Are you talking to the man in the mirror? Yeah. I don't know, like, there's- I don't know. I think there is, when people say be yourself, I think what they mean is don't know like I think there is when people say be yourself I think what they mean is

don't be fake but also I don't necessarily think that is the best thing to do I think for you you should definitely be fake I think fake it till you make it and then maintain the faking don't ever reveal your true self I think if you have dated

John can you put your finger up my ass I think if you have dated john could you put your finger up my ass i think if you have dated before and you i think you can kind of arrive at a point in your life i feel like i don't know for sure but i feel like you could arrive at a point in your life where you've you've had enough partners companions you've done enough dating where you where you are just sort of at the point where you can think you you know what, I'm happy on my own. I'm happy within myself. I'm content. I can live like this sort of thing. And I've known a lot of people like that. A lot of people that I worked with who, you know, they were either divorced or they'd had previous long-term relationships or whatever. And then they just decided they're just done. They don't want to pursue anything else like that. You know, they just want to live on their own.

My mom, for one, my mom hasn't when my parents got divorced she was younger much younger than i am now it's a lot she's been single ever since it's a lot right if you if you if you lump in with somebody and especially if you build a family with them and stuff as well and then your marriage breaks down fuck i mean the the prospect of potentially doing that again i don't know how people go on to do it again, honestly. Like, go on to have like a new partner and have new children with them and stuff. There's good things and bad things about being single. There's good things and bad things about having a partner, for sure.

And I think that you just have to find a healthy balance. I think it's just, I think as an honourable man, you know, or I feel like there needs to, I feel like if, I don feel like if i don't know i'm just i'm i'm pretty committed to something once i've committed to it even if even if like like to toot for too long do you know i mean i almost like feel like i don't want to take advantage of people or at least be or you know or i don't know i'm just not i just want to be happy in myself i don't look for that like fleeting pleasure really i'm I could go for some fleeting pleasure. I'm not the one-night-stand kind of guy.

I'm about bigger. You know what my issue with the whole one-night-stand is? What if it's really good? Wouldn't you want to do that again? I suppose you'll always have that memory, right? You can use that as a source for all your future solo sessions. I just think, yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm just saying people are very quick to just look it's fine if you both know it's a one-night stand

yeah going in i think otherwise it's like when when it's not i think it's harder when you're not clear about dating but and what you what your bounds are what your goals are but that's embarrassing and that can be like off-putting because i i've never had a one-night stand what what why do they call it a stand surely it's a one-night lie isn't it i mean why are you standing is that part of it i don't know it's just uh it's just the the the phrasing of it right one-night stand i'm just wondering where it came from i'm gonna google one-night stand please don't be a website oh it is a website oh it's one- night stand ball gown and evening dress hire that's misleading some people i wonder how many people have gone there clever expecting to find a sexual encounter but instead they just find some fucking

ballroom stuff i love how the thing you're most interested about a one night stand is the entomology or whatever it is of the where the word came from yeah i get the i get the appeal and stuff but it's- you're kind of- I don't know, I feel like I would- again, I would feel a bit anxious if I'd had a one night stand with somebody, right? Like, cause it's just- I don't know. What if they nicked your wallet? I've also found out-

Yeah, exactly. So, it draws its name from the common practice of a one night stand, which is a single night performance by an entertainer at a venue. So, the in this case is my penis and the venue would be a lady's vagina that's the amazing one night stand just one night only folks get a get these tickets while they're hot oh by the way um i spoke to some friends of mine who went to the netherlands yeah went to one of those live sex shows i think we were talking about them in a in an older episode we've talked about the many times i'm sure right so they actually went like the banana bar no no no this was like just have you heard about the banana you go in you sit there you pay you can

stay there as long as you like yes and they're sitting there and the curtains open and there's a couple already doing it oh they're fucking yeah and then they don't finish artistically just they're artistically fucking to music like the curtain just closes and then they don't finish artistically just they're artistically fucking to music like the curtain just closes and then the next act comes on yeah it's not it's not really a spectacle just over and over again and then pretty much it is yeah when we went we went we were we when i i've told this to you guys before but i'm just going to say again we we went we sat through the same sequence about six times because we were trying to finish these beers that we got a deal on

beers that we didn't want to leave before we finished so what so what you mean there was like we watched the same couple the fucking the same way six times. And then it opens again and there's something different? Yeah. Or is it the same couple banging in a different position? No, no, it's the same couple just banging. They're not even changing it up. It's like it's choreographed.

They're just doing the same thing. Like they do it to music. You know, it's like, it's almost like a dance choreography, but they're just fucking, like it's weird. It's funny. It's funny at first. And then after a while, you just don't even pay attention. I don't think I'd even have a boner.

Unless. No, it's not really that bad. Unless I could see their feet and I had to finger up my ass. There we go. That's capped this podcast off perfectly. With a double callback in the final stanza. Love it. Incredible.

That's just good writing. And not bad considering you guys are both not feeling well either i feel like a surprisingly an upbeat podcast so well done i think i was very well executed i was very often my impressions i'm very worried about my where i am i'm very worried about myself actually yeah it's all bad we ended on a high let's drag it back down being sick sick. All right. Well, go to the doctor, Lewis. Get checked out. And anyone else listening, if you feel like you're not feeling well, go to the doctor

and get checked out. It's better to go and not regret it later, right? Yeah, I'm kind of looking forward to it, honestly. Yeah. Which is weird to say. Yeah. I've been sick for a while and I'm like, let's just fucking see what's going on. You know what I think you're missing?

You know what I think you could really do with? I think you've got to get back with that personal trainer. You've got to get back on the wagon. Yeah. He's left the country, that I guarantee. You need to balance things out a little bit. You need somebody to riff off of, you know? He's changed his job.

He was like, God, I can't do this anymore. Oh, he's a drunk in a bar now. He was a personal trainer once and the worst stories now i still put my feet on only fans wait rate me i used to be a tad oh fuck all right peace on earth Thanks everyone Bye