Triforce! - Triforce! #262: The Perfect Second Date

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Triforce! Episode 262! LEWIS WENT ON A DATE. Some other stuff happened this episode but, let's be honest, you only care about that. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

pickaxe well hello there welcome back to the triforce podcast well hello um why it's you again. Bubble Boy. Me. Bubble Boy. Bubble Boy. Garage Denizen. Yes. Sips. Hello. And Family Man. Jet Setter.

Adventurer. Yeah. Brave. We got a guest? The only guy who goes outside amongst us apparently. He's so brave. Period. How are you feeling?

Are you back? Are you back in town this week? What do you mean? Oh mean oh i got such a busy calendar well it is it is a i do i do i do do things it's true yesterday was a bit of a trial um i had to leave the house three times three oh my this is what i'm talking about i know and i had to go into the same part of twickenham three times once to drop my my eldest at the station to go to the zoo. Once to take my youngest to the hairdressers. It was a teacher strike day. She had the day off.

She got a haircut. And then a third time to pick up my daughter from the station. And I was just like, by the end of it, I was like, I never want to go outside again. Wait, you had a teacher strike day yesterday as well? Yeah, baby. We got one on Friday too. Oh, shit.

We had one yesterday, but not one on Friday. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the whole point, isn't it? I think the National Union of Teachers gets together, NUT, or whatever it's called, and strikes. And they said, you know, fuck this. So, yeah, they were on strike. Yeah.

When are they just going to bust the unions once and for all? You know what I mean? I'm just joking. Right. Send in all those substitute teachers with baseball bats. Just like scabs or whatever. I love that name for a strike. Like someone who doesn't do the strike.

Yeah. Scab. Scabs. So good. It's one of these words that's like stuck around. Yeah. It's old fashioned. Yeah. It hasn't-fashioned yeah it hasn't

become like it hasn't been needed to be replaced like i feel like there's this cycle of like offensive words right where if a word describes anything vaguely extreme like like anything that like like the word um like like like slay at the moment okay yeah um but previously to that it was like yes queen and previously that you know it's like something else right yeah um but previously to that it was like yes queen and previously that you know it's like something else and jeremy but any word that means cool effectively goes out of date right because because it's no longer cool yeah and and but those words are more prone to it i think than anything else that's like the partic that particular term has changed so many times or at least has so many different like things since the 90s you know um and it's one of those things where like ben ben

tweeted out this week that you know the thumbs up emoji yeah it's like passive aggressive for like less than 25 year olds um and barry was like yeah do? If I'm going to give you a thumbs up, it's usually like a kind of sarcastic, you know, like thing. I assume because that particular emoji tends to be used by older people. It does. I deal with a lot of tradesmen recently and I get the thumbs up a lot as like an acknowledgement, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yes, Friday is fine.

And then they just give you a thumbs up to say. I fine yes i'll be there on friday now yeah um i think i don't mind using it now i know it's um got that connotation as well i quite like using it ironically it's like an old man you know i might just use the clown emoji as confirmation anytime someone's like i'm gonna pop around tomorrow just send a clown emoji what about the smiling emoji uh that looks very happy and is wearing a cowboy hat i use that one sometimes too oh shit that's a bad one yeah yeah they need like a worth original emoji for us old folks to like you know respond to something in an old man way yeah is that like there must be like an old man beard or like a walking stick emoji like a zimmer frame oh i'm sure there is yeah then again like are these things i i know there's new emojis that are born every couple of weeks you know when whoever is in charge of them

produces new ones right and there's there it's almost like new words being added to the dictionary because i saw this thing this week on on reddit and it was like a whole list of um extra like slash you can like do slash and then like a on the end of your um messages on twitter or text or whatever and it was almost to describe the way you were saying something so like slash a would be like affectionate like jermaine so you might be like i hope you're doing all right slash a right rather than rather than that being hey hope you're doing all right slash uh determined or i don't know slash like you know you slash concerned i don't know do you mean okay so like it's like different because i think emojis are that right you know can, you can see a message that even like a, a seemingly

obvious, difficult to read message. Like, I hope you're doing okay. But that even that can have like a bunch of different meanings, right. If you want it to, or consider it to, but I feel like emojis have replaced this. Like, I, first of all, I don't want people to have to learn this alphabet of slash commands which almost like Italian hand signals right when Because the Italians Can't speak without if you meet Italian get them to try and like hold their hands down by this I speak to you because they can't do it. It's like they can't actually

Vocalize anymore without their hands like to help yeah they have to um yeah it's like it's the it's it's part of the whole thing right like yeah i can't remember what the term is for it um but um there's a there's a term for it but it's a whole it helps them it helps them to get their point across and and stuff better you know like uh yeah it helps to round out the gestures and stuff what they're saying that's right italian is more like that than most other languages but i i i think that like emojis have all that right so often i now find myself like strive like i send a message i'm like which emoji does this need at the end of this message to to almost like signify what i mean here and i end up mostly doing the uh face with like a one teardrop like the like uh like i mean like i'm not sure face oh what about

the slightly embarrassed but not sure what about um there's the face where he's smiling and he's got like a sweat one sweat drop that's that's what it is. That's the one that you like. That's the one which I use all the time. Yeah, that's a good one. I feel like that sort of, that carries like a tone of humility with it, you know? I think that's why people tend to like it so much. Yes, yes. Yeah, good in face with sweat emoji.

Yes, yes. Yeah. One of the things whenever we go away to Dota events is we always have a WhatsApp group for that event. Well, there'll be a bunch. There's normally one for production, which is where you're like told, hey, can you guys be at this studio at this time,

rehearsals at this time, shuttles at this time. That's like the production side. But then all the talent that will work on the event will get into a WhatsApp group so we can bitch about stuff and ask each other questions instead of having to bother production with it. And the big thing in there is not emotes, but the stickers you can do on WhatsApp because you can make stickers. So people will find a funny still from the stream, make a sticker from it, and then that

becomes a new emote. So this sort of customized emotes that you make from your group of friends specifically to mean certain things. I think that's more interesting I think it's a lot of work though. Like I said two seconds. It's not yeah I don't could show me on his iPhone It's like built in now and I think you can do on Android as well But it's like it's definitely built into time for to be very easy You literally just hold on someone and it like pops them out of the picture. Yeah, it's amazing. It's almost like it auto-photoshops them out

of this picture and yeah, it works really well. Right. So yeah, they've got a Paris Twitch con WhatsApp group and it's full of stickers of me looking like disappointed or like sad. Oh wait, are you there right now? No, I'm going there tomorrow. Oh, right. I'm a

bit late to the party. I'm going to miss like Oh, right. I'm a bit late to the party. I'm going to miss the first day. I've sent you guys some of the stickers that we use. These are just random faces of people at events and stuff like that. Yes, this is exactly what I'm saying. So it just clips it out like that. This is one of my favorites. It's Slacks lying on the ground, but it looks like he's kind of flying through the air.

Oh yeah, I see the stickers, yeah. So there's a picture of Slacks who looks like he's wearing a wizard costume. And his hands, he's obviously doing, he's in the press up position, but the way it looks, it looks like he's kind of really badly flying through the air, like on one of those comedy, like shit wizard, like on a wire yeah it's oh that is a fucking hilarious picture yeah i'm i'm you could use that all the time you could be like i'm just i'm just getting into the airport now guys to post that emoji that is literally how people use it it's such a funny one yeah oh no that's that is fucking i mean this obviously is similar to to you guys is

having your own emotes on Twitch and stuff Of course. Yeah, and then that that leads all into your discords and so everyone I mean, this is how the biggest emotes got you got started on Twitch, right? It was almost like Twitch themselves published a few weird ones like Kappa Of their at their staff members. Yeah To use absolutely enormous. And then they had ones from people that have subsequently become cancelled as well, right? And you no longer see them.

Or died. Or died. Well, I think the ones where people died are still being used. But I think it was PogChamp. PogChamp is not a nice guy, apparently. He's not a nice guy, and I don't think the emotes even used anyone. This is the nature of no one did a background check on this guy

when he made PogChamp. They should have though. They should have had the foresight to realise this is going to be a big thing. Come back and check every fucking emoji and everyone for every single thing. It's an emoji for Christ's sake. We don't need to do background checks.

He's not working with kids. It's just a fucker. They just took his face and made it an emoji. It's just we don't need to do background checks he's not working with kids it's just a fucker they just took his face and made it a dumb face yeah yeah why do you think we should do a full audit of his life to this i saw a thing this week where apparently i went to walt disney world apparently did you say apparently you don't remember it you're not i went to walt disney world recently and was, you know, the Hall of Presidents in like Epcot? There's this, Epcot is like one of the parks, and it's basically got, it's kind of for more grown-ups. Yeah, it's the big dome looking thing.

It's like a golf ball. The big golf ball dome. It looks like a space, a moon base. Yeah, it's, don't go in it, but it looks cool. Wait, you don't go in it? There's like a NASA ride or something in there. Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, I'm saying don't go in because it's not very good, but it looks cool. Wait, you don't go in it. There's like a NASA ride or something in there. Oh, right. Sorry.

I'm saying don't go in because it's not very good. But it looks good. And it's called Landmark. But the main thing about Epcot is they've got this whole circle of international exhibits. So they've got a little bit of France, a little bit of Japan, a little bit of Morocco and Germany and Norway andany and norway and china and all of that it's and you walk around and they've got their own restaurants their own it's because epcot stands for something like experimental prototype community of tomorrow or something like that so it's like celebrating the world but then it's got like future stuff as well yeah so there's this thing you can do which

we were doing a bit of called where you drink around the world and you go and have a drink in every country. Right. And so you drink like some German beer and then you drink some like shochu in the career and then you drink like something else. Do you know what I mean? You go, it's the whole thing. And it was fun, but they have this thing in the US section, which is quite a big section called the Hall of Presidents, which is this kind of fairly shonky patriotic stage show where they have all these animatronic presidents and they sort of mostly just sort of stand there

and look rubbery back and forth. Yeah, they're pretty good. The old, old animatronics, right? Like they... Yeah, they're not actually... The new ones can do flips and shit. Like they're like uh you know like that you know like the robots like at the uh oh god yeah yeah they're gonna use them for stunts and

stuff really good stunt shows like the indiana jones stunt show yes there's some i did see some really good animatronics actually yeah and these are kind of like they're kind of like madam to swords but there's i guess there's a general problem with face recognition in humans anyway, because we are so focused on faces, our brains, that we really have trouble if they're not absolutely perfect or convincing. Yeah. And so when you're making something physical, it's very hard. Anyway, apparently the Donald Trump robot, this was a rumor, but it's been sort of, it's been really picking up traction that when they made the donald trump robot they didn't think donald trump was going to win right so they made the they were busy making the hillary robot right right um they finished the hillary robot when trump won they had to like

convert it into trump and so it's got like slightly hillary features like slightly bigger cheeks and that it's like it's ever so slightly hillary-esque good um which is is kind of funny yeah that is funny trump hall of presidents oh it doesn't look good it does look like hillary it kind of when you look at it yeah you can i mean it is it is trumpian it's so weird the whole thing because it's such an american thing right the curtains draw back and there's like these 25 animatronic men right so all of them white yeah it's weird barack obama and it's and they're all sort of stood there and it sort of names them all uh martin van boeren yes that guy yeah john quincy adams john quincy adams yeah are they they sort of it's got it's this whole i don't know it's a very like high school american what i would imagine every american child learns you know yeah this kind of slightly slightly off slightly odd history i mean i i feel like i know that u.s

presidents bizarrely just because of culture better than i know the uk prime ministers or any of the uk prime ministers i know i mean it's it's interesting how we know so much about american history from this and how much it sort of teaches you through stuff like this and i'm not saying it wasn't fun but i just thought it was weird because i saw this news and i and i thought when i went i was like yeah do you know what it is a bit off you know what? It is a bit off. You know what I think is strange? And I, listen, I, I, I love America and Americans. I've got no problem with you. I grew up there.

Obviously. Sorry, I didn't want to tilt this into it. I know we're quite anti-American in this podcast. We love you guys. We're British and Canadian. So, you know, it's kind of natural, but, um, uh, I do think that there are so many strange things about American culture that seem directly opposed to each other, but still exist. And there are two things. First of all, the reverence of former presidents seems strange because a lot of Americans also seem to have this hatred of big government.

And ain't nobody tell me what to do. But then they have the whole of presidents. It's like that seems kind of strange. Nobody could tell me what to do. Except if you're John Quincy Adams. Then you could tell me what to do any day of the week. He could tell me to eat my own shit. I'd eat it.

I'd kick all the peanuts out of it and I would eat it right in front of his dumb face. Yes, Mr. Adams, I'm eating the pop. There's your question. Dumb rubber dumb face. Yes, Mr. Adams, I'm eating the pot, there's your question. His dumb rubbery face. It's just so strange that they revere things like that. I also think it's strange how much Americans revere America when it seems to be so at odds with itself all the time. Real polarizing extremes. So I don't think Americans actually love the whole of America or their fellow Americans.

They just like the idea that they get a little corner of it that nobody can fuck with. That's really what they're celebrating is their neck of the woods, not the whole thing. That is part of the original American dream, though, right? Yeah. I just want to be left alone on a ranch. My own little corner and I can make it. But then so here's the other weird thing, is given that, why is there such a popularity of housing, homeowners associations in America?

Because I'm always reading these posts and articles about homeowners associations. You have one leaf on your lawn, and... Yeah, it seems like the least American thing to me. It's so strange. It is bizarre. The idea that some fucking board of twats gets to tell you what colour your fucking house can be.

Exactly, especially when it's the land of liberty and independence and freedom and outdoorsmanship. The whole point is standing on your own and making it yourself. That's the whole reason everyone- That's the dream they sell you. Basically, if you've got the moxie and the willpower, you'll make it. It's obviously bollocks, but it's a nice idea. And then you also have all these gated communities and homeowners associations. And when I was at Stockholm, there were obviously quite a few yanks there working with us. And I got chatting to them

about it and they said, oh, well, it's really good for your property prices because that way there isn't like one shitty house bringing everyone else's property values down now i've never thought when i look at property especially in london that you'll have a street of houses and if one of them looks a bit shit that means it brings down the whole street no that never seems to be a concern like you're living on i genuinely on my road is a prime example there are a couple of houses here that are really in a parlous state terrible looking front gardens really bad and i'm not going to go around there and be like you're bringing down my property prices because i don't think people i genuinely don't think no i think what you need to do is go to those people

and say hey do you need help i'll i'll clean up your garden for free and they'll probably say yes i don't know if in the states you have these housing associations because there's no bylaws but in canada you got bylaws that kind of protect you from a lot of that stuff and they're they're so specific like uh to the point where it's like you can't have a tree uh past a certain distance from the sidewalk in your front yard like uh you can't have a tree uh past a certain distance from the sidewalk in your front yard like uh you can't have a pool in your front yard for example um you know like all these things and if you if you break the rules that you know a bylaw officer can come by and issue you with a uh you know a fine or i mean we've definitely say you can't do that or similar things like that like for example uh if you have an extension to your house you can't do that or similar things like that like for example

If you have an extension to your house, it can't go above the current height of the eaves of your house Well, that's what you probably have planning for that as well like right But I mean it's similar in that there are restrictions on what you can do. Yes, and but that is at a council level Yeah, so my my point is that these homeowners associations are your other fucking neighbors Yes, then it becomes this kind of cliquey bitchy thing So my point is that these homeowners associations are your other fucking neighbours. So then it becomes this kind of cliquey, bitchy thing. Oh my God, yes. This is the absolute worst. This is the thing, the local drama where your fence is too high.

What authority do they have to enforce any of this stuff? They literally confine you. They just bully you. They confine you. No, no, no, they confine you. There is a really good- It's worse than that. Like, there's a John Oliver episode about it, which is quite good.

Watch it. It's last week tonight. It's on YouTube. It's all about homeowners associations. Yeah, I watched that a few weeks ago. And it talks about how they kind of have the power to bill you, and if you don't pay, they can ask a lawyer to pay...

To murder you. To chase up that bill, and then you have to pay to pay up that bill. And then you have to pay the fee for that. And it keeps going up basically until it gets to a point where they can actually like foreclose on your own house. All right. Yeah. So it's insane. They have these crazy powers.

It's, it's, I guess it's completely different to our local councils who were just the local busybodies, but it is the same kind of busybodies who get involved in this sort of stuff. Yeah. Like these little Hitlers who love and are obsessed with local power and get- How do you get to that point?

You know what they're like. How? They have nothing else to do. I've met so many of them, but I still am baffled as to how life takes you there. You know? You've got nothing else to do. You're literally bored some of the i'm sure a lot of them are generous nice people giving their free time to

do something for free but a lot of them just are are i think they think the worst of people like just then you know period you said like um how you know there's a couple of houses in your street they're unkempt right and your go-to assumption is that they're lazy or chavs or scum or whatever right no that's not what i said no but i think that is that most people's go-to assumption that they are just doing it because they're lazy but i think they could just be renting right and when you're renting a house you don't feel like i don't want to i don't want to do up my my house for this landlord and he's not going to want to pay anything right so i think when you have a very high percentage of rented properties yeah they're going to get run down and yeah the landlord's not going to want to pay anything and yeah the people in the house are

not going to want to pay to do it up and so it becomes this it does the front gardens do get messy and the the doors don't get painted you know and people don't love them when when people own their own places they love them and they take so much more care of them. And, you know, I think that is more of an indication. Well, not the guy on my road. He's quite old and I think he just doesn't give a shit anymore. I think that's the point that he's gotten to. So I think it's a combination.

There was an old couple that lived on our road. They died a few years ago, sadly. But their house was in a terrible, terrible kind of people are embarrassed about it though they can't they don't have the energy or the or the knowledge to do it themselves either all the money as well like some of some of the old folks i know like just just just kind of can't afford yeah this stuff you know no exactly so i think the the point is the homeowners, I'm sure we'll get some emails defending them and fair enough if it works for you and your area. But I think it's treading a fine line. All it takes is one maniac to come in. One person, one real busy one who's absolutely fucking living for this drama. It's like making something out of nothing because you have nothing else to do. We were talking about why old people get all fucking curtain twitchy and about nothing like my parents are always doing

this kind of thing they're finding some weird thing and it's like a big deal to them they've got nothing else going on there is nothing going on they're retired they there is their life is completely fine yeah their life is just completely steady, nothing happening. So something happens, like, he's painted his door blue. Oh, my God. Finally, something's happened. They got all fucking fired up about it. It's just boredom. They're just bored out of their minds.

Give them something to do. There was a story about this. Someone had to knock something down recently. I'll tell you what it was I saw this week. It was the fucking, this is actually not, this is a really shit story. But do you remember captain tom yes i saw this who walked around his garden so i don't know if you if you're not in the uk there was a hundred year old man who walked around his garden during covid and he became like this

viral national figure for for a little while very briefly and a lot of people donated money to the nhs In his name. Yeah. So they set up this, this family set up this foundation. He very sadly died. But the family were like suddenly flush with cash. And the first thing they did was build a spa. I guess they used the word spa, but I assume it's like a jacuzzi or a hot tub.

Yeah. In their garden. Right. With the charity money. And obviously, of course, this is the scummiest lowest thing i've ever heard yeah right in my life and they've recently been told to knock it down which is which is what they do again it feels like a terrible waste when someone like builds something or a shed or something without planning permission or a garage without playing and then

they've been all conservative and then they've being told to knock it down that just feels like salt in the wound right i feel like this shed should be some i should just go to prison right we should leave the spa there do you know i mean right like i'd rather we did it that way um but then again like there's also a guy who might be going to five years in prison for graffitiing the coliseum this week oh god so there was a british guy who went to the coliseum he was his excuses i didn't know how old it was that's genuinely his excuse that is the worst excuse and so he's gone to a foreign country and decided to do graffiti while he's there yep Yep. Was it nice graffiti or was it really, really bad? No, just carving his name

and his girlfriend's name into the Coliseum. Right. Now, okay, here's my take on it. Now, you might have your own salty take. On the internet, every thread I've read, every story I have read is like,

throw the book at him, he's embarrassing us, blah, blah, blah. Everyone is like five years in prison. And I'm like, okay, first of all the colony is pretty fucking big right it's not like he scribbled his name on the fucking mona lisa right he can probably even and second of all the colony seems covered in graffiti if you've ever

been there thousands of people have scrawled their names in that fucking thing over thousands of years and if you look over the pyramids the fucking it's got roman and greek graffiti all over it in fact in a lot of the tombs is a lot of graffiti because it's from antiquity people go to places and write their names and things you go to any school in the uk all the desks are covered in people's they've scratched their names in you climb any cathedral any church and i'm not saying it's good but it's full of graffiti it just is right and i'm not saying we want people to go out and graffiti stuff but i'm also thinking maybe five years in prison is a little bit of a stretch for this guy scrawling his name are they gonna give him five years that's the that's yeah that's what it looks like no way well exactly

that's what you're gonna give him five years for that well who knows well even if it's just a year in prison that feels like a lot for a fucking writing your name on something yeah do you mean like come on like we've got like fucking you know chemical companies pumping out billions of tons of oil killing like thousands of people and animals you know like i feel like i feel like this is there's worse things going on than, uh, like a tourist being a, being an idiot. Do you mean like, come on?

Yeah. Uh, like there's people doing way worse than that. And I don't know, maybe you guys are on, on the side of, he should, he should be executed. I don't know. Maybe he should be paid to fight a lion. Yeah. I think that would be pretty pog. Um, if you want to write your name on the Coliseum, you have to fight a lion in the gladiatorial combat? I think that would be pretty pog. If you want to write your name on the Coliseum,

you have to fight a deer. It's been a popular theme on the podcast lately. He has to fight an animal. Maybe he should have a tattoo inscribed on himself saying, I'm an idiot. Like, you know, somewhere like on his arse or on his arm, you know? Like, I just think we should like for like punish these things.

You're saying bring back an eye for an eye. Just like the old days. Yeah, I don't know if he did like the amount of damage to society that put him in prison for five years. It could be five years in prison for that. That is insane.

That's actually insane. Fully insane. Does he have kids or anything? Is it just him and his girlfriend? He's just an idiot. That's actually insane. Fully insane. Does he have kids or anything? Is it just him and his girlfriend? He's just a young fitness instructor. He's just an idiot. From Bristol. Right.

From Bristol, by the way. I know, this is why he's relevant to us as well. Maybe he went off the rails after all your inappropriate jokes that you made to him. He just keeps writing Lewis Brindley on every wall he walks past. He can't get over it. He's like, I've been lashing out ever since. Poor guy. I don't think that warrants jail time honestly i think uh i think people calling for somebody to go to jail

for that just um are insane as well i don't think they realize what kind of people are in jail uh well i think you should reserve jail for people who actually should be there captain tom's family need to be there captain's you know captain Captain Tom's family can go to jail. They could do like a, maybe they could make a show. Captain Tom's family go to jail for a month or whatever. And then they could change their idea of how jail is. At least do community service that makes up for the value of the spa that they paid for out of charity. Yeah.

Right. They need to do however much i don't know how much the spa costs 20 grand they need to do at least 20 grand of community service how much is a banana michael 20 20 dollars i don't know how much is a spa i've not had to ever consider building one in my garden and i'm not still not sure what it is no is it a jacuzzi a spa they build like a whole fitness center it's like the whole it's like it's got like a pool it's got beauty treatments like it's got like a sauna maybe yeah it usually has like a sauna a shower room a locker room it's like a like it's like a better ymca you know yeah i could i could i could go to a spa i went to a a spa before. You've been to one. I've never done a spa.

I had some treatments. It was about 10 years ago. It was very weird having like- It's the vibe just says to me, crystals. And I don't like anything to do with crystals. It's as crystals as you want it to be. My wife and her boyfriend go like all the time. I pay for them to go.

And they always say how much fun they have and how relaxing it is and stuff. Yeah, they're all sweaty when they finish as well. I'm going to look after the kids while they're gone. I see, it's like one of these places

that I'm never able to fully, you're supposed to, you're told to relax and I'm never able to fully relax. Do you know what I mean? It's one of these places where you have to,

like, they're massaging you and have to like they're like they're massaging you and it's like oh you're very you're very tense i'm like yeah just because there's a man like fucking rubbing me and i've got any clothes on my how do you feel am i supposed to feel i'm never able to like turn off um in those places i'm always like slightly on turned on i'm always turned on yeah you can't turn off because you're you're so on At the time I'm not turned on though Because most of the people There are old as well Do you know what I mean

It's not like It's not like I'm Surrounded by models It's weird Anytime I think about Stuff like that Like going to a spa Having a massage or whatever

I always think that Somebody is Is gonna have Sex with me You know Like I don't know why That's my go to With those things

My perception of it Is all wrong You know I know people Who's gonna have sex with you I don't know why that's my go-to with those things my perception of it is all wrong you know i know people who's gonna have sex i don't know but i always feel like if i did go i've never been but if i did go it's kind of like when i was telling you guys about my my prostate and you just assumed that some guy was fucking me in the ass you know like i did not i did not i don't remember i think it was just Lewis Brindley Lewis absolutely did every time I mentioned it he was like oh did you you may have implied it

so I'm blaming you do you think this is because of the happy ending thing or because of like the there's this Thai massage place on the road near the office and I walked past it and a couple of times the

like asian women in the window have like waved seductively at me are you sure that it was seductive waving because um i looked behind me and there was no one else there i think maybe they thought i was coming in or i was like booking or something did you ever consider that maybe they're just bored and they don't have any work to do and they want a new customer? Maybe they were just fucking with me. They might have just been fucking with me. That is a thing that can happen, I'm sure. Anyway, let's move on.

Yes. Do you guys got anything else to cover this week? It's weird where we get these ideas about things though, right? I don't know if maybe it's just from watching like too much PORN or what. I don't know what the it's just from watching like too much PORN or what. I don't know what the deal is. Right, oh. Or you think it's because you're watching like one of these scenarios where massage turns into...

Yeah, or it could just come from, you know, like popular culture as well, right? Like I'm sure there was a Seinfeld episode where George didn't want to get a massage from a guy because he thought you know you would get a boner or something i well i think for a long time in certain countries massage has been a byword for prostitution right like you the massage parlors are brothels right they're just not called that yeah and so i think for me like i wouldn't want to book a massage because i might accidentally be booking a sex a sex instead i feel bad excuse me um i i've made a big mistake here i booked a massage but i feel like i'm about to have a sex session can we can you can you stop giving me a handjob and instead rub down my injured leg. I mean, I feel bad for all massage parlor workers and owners, because I mean, I know someone who ends up a massage parlor and they're like,

the word parlor doesn't help. No, like they're like a massage therapist. Like they do proper deep muscle like massage. And he's very, very good. And he's done like there like, he lives in Philadelphia. So like the Philadelphia Eagles players will sometimes come to his place for Massage because he's really, really good. And I respect that.

It's worth it, especially if you do a lot of athletics and stuff, your muscles really get knotted up. You need something to sort of loosen. And he helps with like posture and how you can help not having a bad back all this stuff very very very good but let's say you're an attractive younger woman and you open a genuine massage place because it's a thing that you're interested in and you're interested in and all of a sudden half the dudes coming in there are like whipping their boners out and expecting this to be a thing it must be so difficult to just

do fucking massage without people going oh yeah happy ending is it yeah i mean it's just fucking such they get the idea from somewhere though that's what i'm you know no smoke without fire you're right though it is so prevalent as a lazy joke on telly in the same way that like prison rape is as well yes it's well used to be in the 90s for some reason that was very funny i don't know why but it was i mean everything was always implied or or mentioned or whatever you don't hear it much anymore but i mean norm mcdonald had that whole fucking there's a whole clip montage of him doing weekend update where like all of the jokes are about prison rape and stuff. I saw one the other day, actually, although this does spoil the punchline.

It was, I've got a friend who has so much free time. He works out every day. He can read two or three books a week and he has sex like three or four times a week. But all he does is complain about being in prison that's the joke um so yeah it's still funny apparently still yeah even though you knew what was coming no it's good yeah you told it well you did yeah good i didn't see it coming at all oh wow okay well you know you're welcome. Thanks. Thanks so much. I've got another one. Okay. Is this jokes now? No, I'm not going to do more jokes. I'm not going to do more.

I've got a whole book of prison rape jokes. It's coming out next month. Just Google my name. Well, don't do that. Jeez, that would be weird. Don't Google his name. And don't email us about this either, okay? That's it.

We don't want to hear it before we continue using the internet without express vpn is like not paying attention to the safety demonstration on a flight most of the time you'll be fine what if one day that weird yellow mask drops down from overhead and you have no idea what to do what if you put it on your uh your johnson i'm sorry. Exactly. Start if you want. No, exactly.

Anyway, a friend of mine in not very entertaining news did actually get hacked this week and lost. And it spent a huge amount of time and money getting their accounts back. Jesus. They lost a lot of stuff and money getting their accounts back. They lost a lot of stuff and it's real bad. So do protect yourself when you're out and about in cafes, hotels, airports. You can use a VPN. It doesn't take much technology to hack someone.

You can protect yourself in a very easy way by installing ExpressVPN. I use ExpressVPN on my computer at home, on my phone. You don't even notice it's there and it gives me a lot of peace of mind. So yes, secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash triforce, E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash triforce. You can get an extra three months free. Damn it! Wow. Expressvpn.com slash triforce. Thanks everybody. Good luck. Be safe.

Thanks, everybody. Good luck. Be safe. So, oh, God. Did I tell you? Did I tell you I went on a date? I went on my first date. Oh, no, you didn't. Hold on.

Let me get comfortable. Let me get comfortable. Let me adjust myself quickly. Okay. We've been waiting weeks. So, hang on. You managed to find somebody who didn't offend you via emoji or the or the way that they type uh words on their phone or whatever this person exists well i think it's the other way around actually i managed to find

someone who i didn't offend and awkwardly accidentally put my foot in it right before do you know what i mean and i think the reason was because it was quite quick like oh dear start chatting and they were like i hate chatting on these apps. Let's just get a drink. And I was like, okay, fine. So I suggested the place, right? Right. And she texted me saying I'm here, and I was just outside.

So I came in, and I went into this bar, and there was a couple in there and a guy at the bar, and there was a guy behind the bar. So I was like, oh, where is she? So I went in. And I ordered a drink. She works at the bar. I sit there at the bar and there was like a bar a guy behind the bar so i was like oh where is she so i went in and like ordered a drink she works at the bar and it looks around no and the it was the cut the girl from the couple looked over at me and like waved and i was like oh my god oh no it's her and then she was she was talking to this other guy and she was talking to him and i picked this venue right so it's not like she'd bumped into it yeah this right anyway look you know like a minute passes okay i'm just stood there like awkwardly like at the bar i didn't know whether to like go over or not but but you

know she sort of almost like signified like i'll be over do you know i mean we love the hand signals in a second she's like wait right so so and she's like oh i just i've just moved back to bristol i just i bumped into this guy i knew and he's like he's like six foot four he's like gorgeous like a big beard it's like the opposite of i'm like i'm like an inch shorter than her it's like oh no this is like this is not this is not working like that's almost like she was being shown this is what you could have won like yes on the wheel of fortune immediately don't don't be so down on yourself she she might he might a he might be a homosexual i know don't worry no i wasn't threatened they might have dated in the past and it didn't work out because his dick was too big you guys might you guys might form such a fun friendship and bond over sharing the same moment.

I styled it out. It's fine. In the future. Good lad. You're just going to fucking dive in in that situation. You can't be cowed. It worked. I made it work for me.

It's fine. And so we chat away and stuff. And it was fine. I think, like, she kept saying, your life is so different to mine. Right. What did you tell her about your life? Did you tell her about your life? Well, did you tell her about all the Warhammer painting and stuff?

You hate everything in a contrary. She'd sort of Googled me, but not like, I was like, how much, I was like, what do you mean? Well,

go on. I'm just interested. And she was like, well, you know, I just, I just sort of poked around and saw some pictures of you and like your, your stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. And so as you do, and so so and she was just sort of she was interested but also i guess like slightly scared mortified um because it's so unfamiliar yeah you know it's just i guess i don't realize that my bubble boy weird internet life is actually weird i mean if she googled you she would have seen you Proclaiming that clams are people and crabs are people You in the bee costume a lot of very weird pictures very odd Framing of you know, I mean everyone's clipped and taking pictures of the funniest stuff you've done

That would be those would be the first results So it is gonna be tough you need to pay that company that scrubs your name from the internet Just while you're on a date or leading up to a date and then returns it all as soon as the date is over that's what you need yeah easy i i tried to like i'm trying to like be fairly anonymous but it's kind of even like i can't be too i can't be too anonymous and even after if if i don't have this problem like they'll google me after the first date anyway, right? And then I'll have the same problem on the second date of, like, them being like, what the fuck? So, I don't know. Like, I don't know whether to, like, just front.

Anyway, it was an interesting experience. I probably had too much to drink and I probably talked too much. But I think that's. I'm sure it's fine. That's mostly what happens on an awkward first date. And is there a second date forthcoming would you say or no well no contact she texted she texted a weird thing back right which i'm not sure how i feel about what it means right was it like uh never talk to me again was it just a clown emoji

was it that going back to emojis was it where where is is episode 45 of Shadow of Yserafel? It said, happy to hang out in whatever capacity. Oh. Hard to gauge. Ha ha. Right. So what does that, so that. That means she wants a second date and she's up for anything.

Yeah. She's willing to give it a go. That's what it sounds like to me. I'll take it. I would say that is as positive as it gets oh take her somewhere crazy next time yeah take us somewhere absolutely wild take it to a massage parlor and get this is why we need emojis and maybe if she put like slash like c is like concerned like you know i would have been like you know i would have known more do you mean this is we need to simplify our our we need to like clarify here's what here's a listen listen listen to papa period for a second here okay okay then after after that listen to me because i got

a great idea listen listen to sipsy boy after yeah yeah yeah okay all right first of all you're over complicating it brother she's she's expressing interest in seeing you again. Things clearly went okay. She's feeling it out and figuring things out. Probably a lot to take in on the first date. You know, you've got to get to know each other. She's saying, I'm up for whatever. Let's, you know, just think of something.

She's put the ball in your court. Think of something. It doesn't have to be something crazy. Maybe something different. Something slightly different from what you did before. Just meeting in an empty bar. Take her out for a nice meal somewhere cool. Job done see how it goes she's up she hasn't said never call me again or thanks but i don't think it's gonna work out she's she's and i presume from the way you phrased it that she made the first move about meeting up again that's huge

yeah that's huge she cut right to the chase she wasn't like i don't want to talk on this fucking app because she's right you're not really going to get to know someone. No, you're not. So don't read too much into what she's saying. She's clearly not that fussed about the texting. Go on another date and see how it goes. Okay, I will. But I'm away for two weeks now.

That's fine. You have more time to think about what you're going to do. Because I got a great idea. You can plan it all out while you're away. And when you get back, you can execute it to perfection. Okay? She said, I'm up for anything anything i think you should call her bluff so my idea is you take her for a day out to london right and you while you're in london you say hey gosh it's been a long time since i've seen buckingham palace let's go have a look and she'll be like oh god that sounds really boring maybe this guy is actually really boring he wants to go to buckingham

palace right so you get there make sure you order like some nice hot drinks to enjoy while you're standing uh outside and then uh when you're just like when it's getting really boring you know maybe tell her some history about like the monarchy or whatever um and then you know get her lull her right into that sort of- Tell her about the whole of presidents. Yeah, tell her like some of that shit. And then, you know, when you can see that she's really, really sort of like complacently- Looking around.

Looking pretty bored and wondering like, you know, what's next sort of thing. Say, oh, can you hold this for a second? And then you can pass her your hot drink. And then at that point, you take your shirt second and then you can pass her your hot drink uh and then at that point you take your shirt off uh and then you uh use a revealing scottish accent and you hop the fence and you start screaming freedom and uh and just really show the rich yes yeah really show her what you're made of you know i think she'll she'll appreciate that. If she's truly up for anything, I think she'll, you know, I think that'll be a real eye-opener for her.

Yeah, getting arrested. Yeah, she's up for it. Getting arrested without a shirt on as well. I think that's going to be sweet. Okay, well, I'll consider both of these things. You've got a lot of time to think about it anyway, so. Yeah, I mean, God, like, the spontaneous, oh, let's just, I've booked us flights to go to London. Yeah. I mean, God, like the spontaneous. Yeah. Oh, let's just. I've booked us flights to go to London.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to go to London. It's going to be amazing. Your tips are top quality. Thanks so much. I think, you know, these are the memorable dates that people tell to their future husband and wives. They're like, oh, this awful date with this guy. I've been married for 20 years this summer. And let me tell you some of these some of these tips are priceless

i i guess i'm like if i do that i'm like cupid right i'm like setting people up with a really terrible date so they know what they're when they find someone you know that they that isn't awful they're like so happy because they're like, there's not this guy, you know? Yeah. So you're, you're kind of causing love in the world through generating bad date experiences. Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's a really cute idea. I think it's cute. So all of you guys who've been on a terrible day out there, just think, just think that is actually an investment in the future of, you know, it makes all other dates look better and gives you a good story.

It gives you a great story to tell. Everyone loves a story about a bad date. In fact, speaking of. You might want to tell your cellmate that one multiple times. What are you in for? I did some graffiti on the Coliseum. What about you? I took my shirt off at Buckingham Palace and in a Scottish accent started yelling freedom as i jumped the wall uh yeah um if you just thinking ahead because uh it would make a

cracking mailbag episode if you've been on a bad date let us know i would love to know especially that will be women because they are always much funnier the bad days oh my god yeah i mean if i was a woman going on dates i'd just be rolling my eyes 24 7 i feel like men probably have some funny date stories but they're few and far between right because most of them are probably just kind of like oh she wasn't interested no she wasn't interested but without but men are so insane that women we're idiots women tend to have more interesting stories to listen to around dating agreed goed. Go ahead and let us know via the Triforce mailbag. Some people keep asking where.

Pyriamflax at gmail.com or pyriam.flax at gmail.com if you want. That's the address. It's just my name at gmail.com. The gmail address doesn't matter. You can put as many dots in there. It could be p.y.r.i.o.n. In fact, if you send one to that address, I'll definitely read it. Right.

Because that shows commitment. Right. Yeah. But it might not work. I don't know how many dots you're at. You put too many dots in there. I take back my little... Overall, I think it represents a much better value with dots,

but I don't know if the email will get through either. No. So, but give it a go. Why not? Just send, send, send. I like this. I like these sort of stories. The bad.

The good, the bad, and the ugly stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah, me too. I love that. I love stories. Can't wait. We've had like a, we've done all the prison stories

what is the worst there's always more prison stories though that's one thing I've learned about prison stories is that you've never heard all of them there's always another one just waiting around the corner you wouldn't believe what I told you guys a week or so ago

about spooning someone out didn't I I thought I'd heard it all. And I heard that. I was like, well, I guess I just hadn't heard it all. So you know,

like, I feel like, I feel like you should go to prison for that. Like, I feel like I've done things in my life that are worse. I feel like, I feel like you do a bit of graffiti for you and your girlfriend on the Coliseum.

Um, fast forward in time, three weeks, and you're being spooned out by ten dudes in a cell come on the two don't add up they really don't no if you live a life of crime or whatever

and some dudes are spooning you out because you carry on your life of crime inside yeah the spooning out is if you have drugs trapped up your bum right they gotta get it out of your bum. It's not for some weird reasons. They don't care about you so much.

They've got a focus, and that focus is drugs. It's got a good reason. They don't want to spoon you out, but they're doing it for your own good. Because if those drugs are stuck up there, you might die. Yeah, they're just helping. They're saving your life. Those guys are life-saving. They're saving their life and their bank balance.

They should be given suspended... They should have their sentences reduced for bank balance. Well, they should be given suspended. They should have their sentences reduced for spooning you out. You know? So I was watching, I was watching a show. I don't know if I agree with that. CSI forensics, the real CSI or something like that. It's a BBC show. It's good. Yeah.

It's really neat. It's interesting. It is interesting. However, and this is not a complaint. I'm not saying we should stop using it but from a purely dramatic viewing perspective watching people stare at a dna database looking for matches or pouring over some some fucking cell phone data it gets the job done cracking stuff i'm glad the police have these tools to catch people like this but fuck me is it boring there was a five minute clip of a woman

matching dna samples with with the dna from the offenders and she's like right that's an 11 and a three yeah i hate watching them use their computers as well because they never type fast you know they're always looking for like the you know interface elements and you're just like come on man like you know where's your apm where's your apm at like you're not that old either like j either. Jesus. It's like the myth that we're sold. That the police... It's always some hunch. I gotta hunch this guy's connected.

And they go do the interview and the guy's always talking. Here's what actually happens. They look at CCTV footage. They take extensive forensic evidence from the crime scene. That almost always turns something up. They look at cell phone records. They look at all of that shit. They find some guys. take extensive forensic evidence from the crime scene that almost always turns something up they look at cell phone records they look at uh all of that shit and they find some guys inevitably

they search their house and find a bunch of fucking stuff everywhere um and then the interviews are just them saying no comment no comment no comment and then we have at the end the resolution is just text on a screen saying they went to prison like that's that's it you think the coliseum graffiti guy did the uh no comment um bit as well when he was in there well i think he got caught because he went a bit viral like people were filming him doing it right and so there was and then it went a bit viral and then he was a five-day manhunt in five-day international i know what an unbelievable load of crap i i get i get like i think you're right period like most of the time though it's people who are suspects because someone else has

said they're like you know this guy i've seen him around here before he's done these crimes before he's done this before yeah you know therefore it's probably him you should you should yeah look at him and oh he's the guy on cctv oh there we go crime solved yeah jeremy it's like the almost like the cctv and all that stuff is kind of uh post post um it's like it's more more confirming than finding so so there was one i watched and the way they caught the guys essentially was first of all they some of like so here's the thing it was it was a honey trap murder so these two girls took this lad back to his place yeah and. And then they left the door open, the sort of front door of the communal flat area, jarred open,

so their two big male friends could come in. Yeah. Beat this guy up. They ended up stabbing him in the leg, and he bled out and died. But the girls weren't wearing masks, so they were immediately recognized. The two lads that came in,

one of them was wearing quite an unusual, very expensive jacket, and they found out that only a handful of them had been sold in this country so they were able to track it down they look on cctv they found that what did they have a beef with this guy or was it just random no they were trying to rob him oh so he was trying to go straight like he would he'd been a badden before as well right but it was trying to turn his life around they came to steal his stuff because this is the thing people post on instagram and shit pictures of them wearing fancy jewelry and high-end watches so of course people that know these guys go oh look a target and they get together and they fucking try to steal the guy's shit like especially if there's some beef especially if like they put a fence up and the

homeowners association is like said you have to demolish your lovely nice fence. You're not allowed to have a pool in your front yard. This kind of shit, this kind of basic drama is always used for an agenda often. You hear about someone who shot someone over a video games console. But there's equally as many people shooting each other over fucking... Before that, people were shooting each other over TV and other crap, right? Like, it's not...

It's like recently Macron, French president, said that rioters were intoxicated by video games and social media are, like, causing all this unrest. Yeah, it must be, yeah. Maybe the police shouldn't be just shooting dead a black teenager maybe that's the problem um like me oh but no it doesn't make any sense to be has to be people playing stardew valley and yeah do you mean and look it's always something my turnip harvest wasn't quite what i expected ah these turnips are causing mischief amongst

the common folk we should get rid of turnips. Yeah, people always get pissed off about something. Everyone likes a scapegoat, right? And I feel like you could appeal to a generation by implying that something that the younger generation's into is causing massive problems. In the case of video game violence, it's been a long-running

thing right but who knows what it is now tiktok um fucking god i don't know like there's some there's some weird shit on tiktok um and i'm not gonna try and say it's good or bad sarah i don't know sarah posts most of the weird shit on tiktok i'd say that she does she's there she's the instigator of the weird shit yeah yeah i think i used progenitor there correctly i'll check that sure progenitor person or thing from which a person animal or plant is descended or originates an ancestor or parent so yeah she's the project like patient zero she's the progenitor yeah yeah of tick tock memes of gross you guys had one the the the lord of the rings one right that went that went viral we occasionally have like things pop off on on tiktok which is

nice the thing that's popped off this week is um wind roses diggy diggy hole oh yeah um which is so annoying because for me it's annoying because i love it i love wind rose i love diggy hole i love the song being out there i want the song to be out there you know they were like they were like can we put this can we can we do ages ago they were like can we cover this song and i was like please do i love it but the problem is is that what happens is that that song is now more famous than our version right and so their record company like just copyright strikes our one oh fuck off and all other ones as well and it's like we have to use all the

lyrics too like i am a dwarf and i'm digging a hole and and they're not doing it on purpose but like it's every time like i think for the last like five years our own diggy hole has been monetized like for a week right because it's always someone else has been claiming it um and it's that whole copyright claiming system is i want people to do it i don't want people to pay me for it i don't want people to literally take it yeah the wind rose version of diggy diggy hole has 43 million views i know and there's they play at these big events and it's it's brilliant i love it um they're italian i events and it's brilliant I love it they're Italian I know and it's my own fault for like I guess

not being too nice and being like not getting a proper because I was just like please please get your own back man get a flight over there and do graffiti on the Coliseum you show them I have no protection but it's like wait so you guys didn't get any money from this the success of this

yeah oh dear that's a poor business decision on your part sir well it's what happens i'm not i'm not actually that mad about it i am but i it's kind of it sours what is otherwise a fucking awesome that's what you that this is all you talked about with your date isn't it that's why it went so bad i'm just angry about those i think specifically you not bringing up wind rose and diggy diggy hole is what has led to a second date ah true true that's when you bring this up and if she passes that test yeah she's a keeper share my irritation i'm not i'm not really mad i'm just like i thought it's it's just one of those things that's stupid at the back of my mind that you know how sometimes like something's really really good but then you have a dumb like

thing in your mind that bothers you. Like, a dumb little irritation that kind of doesn't ruin it, but, like, doesn't, like, it's annoying. It's like a little, it's like there's a fly in my lovely soup. You got a fly in your lovely soup? I don't really want to eat this now, but it's fine. Yeah. I think it's, I always feel like with that stuff yeah you can't maybe the the monetization side of it and the copyright side of it's annoying but at

least you at least you have that exposure you know like you can always turn around and say yeah that's it's my that's i made that song i wrote all the lyrics i wonder whether this is i made the theme tune i sung getting older, though. And just everything being like, when you have depth and sort of experience, things just... Like, I wonder if in the 80s, when Reagan became president, and he was in the Hall of Presidents in Epcot or whatever, maybe it wasn't even built then, but God knows. I wonder if people back then felt in the same way they do now about Trump. They felt like, what is this guy? He's an becoming president he's he's ruining the the platform right he's kind of he's kind of this weird prune looking idiot guy making these terrible political conservative choices you know and i wonder if people back in the day felt kind of like as frustrated because it's so weird

seeing trump now being there because it is like i don't know it is like something out of like as frustrated because it's so weird seeing trump now being there because it is like i don't know it is like something out of like out of a nightmare apocalypse right where you're like oh this was all so good and now we've got is this guy gonna just ruin it forever but maybe in 20 years time we would have forgotten and he was just like reagan was you know just a blip and now we're on to the new tiktok whatever the fuck, you know, president is. Do you think there's going to be- Has it just always been like this in cycles? Yes.

Was like Taft or like, I don't know, one of these other presidents in like the 1800s, did everyone also feel the same way about that? Yeah. Yeah, no. A lot of history is just history repeating itself and is in cycles. Yeah. Because a lot of what we take for granted for every day and the systems that are in place to support those things are things that were designed a long time ago. And the people that control them are really good at preserving those control structures as well. So, yeah, everything does just go around in circles.

It's like a song ping pong no ping pong ping pong yeah no it's uh i'll i'll uh i'll find out who did it anyway there's a it was it was very famous at the time it was in the 80s one of the lines is that um that everything is basically a cycle and we just loop the same thing over and over again yeah and in any cycle you have three things. You have a big golden age when there's like some time when things are going well, then you have a huge crash and then you have a war and you just keep doing that. That's essentially what we just keep doing. And it never changes. It's Stereolab is the band. It's called Ping called ping pong it's a great song and anyway if you

haven't heard of it look it up and um it's the lyrics were kind of criticized at the time because it is basically i think it's some communist writer has basically said this and they sort of paraphrased it for the song but this is a very common theme throughout history is that we repeat the same things over and over and over again it's not because we don't learn, but because it's human nature. Yeah. And human nature will always exhibit itself on a grand scale. And the way that society is set up and everything, our culture and everything lends itself to this cycle of boom, bust, war, boom, bust, war.

And we just keep doing that. But their point was that everything gets slightly worse each time. we know that things are not getting worse overall no i think it's actually getting slightly better each time right but we do have i'd say the pressures of when things go wrong is much worse now because of things like climate change which is really getting out of control yeah the existential threats things like nuclear war which would be the end of it so it's not like war in the third century when i'm sure it would suck it's like we're it's like we're in a nicer and nicer casino but the stakes are getting higher and higher i like that a lot yeah it feels like that so whether that's just being modern day centric and we're just we're just thinking oh well things are much crazier for us now i mean in the

past you know you had the black death and you had the fall of the Roman Empire and all these things that were like huge, life-changing things for everybody that lived under them. But humanity would go on, I think, compared with the problems we've got now, which is, wow, it really could come to a crashing end if we're not careful. So I feel like the pressure and the tension on everybody is just exhibiting itself in everything from politics to the economy to people i mean young people these days are suffering from way more stress than than their peers did we have more information so we feel like everything's pressing down on us all the time even if things are getting slightly better it feels like it's

getting worse yeah and i it's just such a crazy situation It's hard to come to terms with and I guess why was really asking was like am I? You know, I think as I've grown older. I've always wondered if I'd be destined to Be like, you know, at what point do I not be I don't know like like I, as you grow older, you do become less like playful or like high energy. You become more like, I don't know, we're supposed to become more grown up, right? And mature and not run around and jump on walls, right? And in the same way that you're supposed to feel certain ways about certain things or feel like or be more responsible and i think sometimes like i i fear that that's inevitable and i can't stop it i guess lately i've also been feeling quite cynical about some of my hobbies that i'm not i'm feeling a bit like

i'm not very good or like i'm not interested in them um or like it's a journey you change you go through yeah it's a journey hey i got a book recommendation for you guys we haven't been a recommendation in a while this was actually secondhand book recommendation ben recommended me a book uh called children of time it's the first in a trilogy i read yes i've got the audio i read it it's absolutely superb. I really recommend it. So if you want something to read, it's good sci-fi. To set it up for you, it's basically like an evolutionary story. It's a story about evolution of a society.

Right. And it's very, very, very interesting. It's good, solid sci-fi. Really, really nicely written. And I don't want to spoil anything. It is a really, really good read. I've just started the second book, so I couldn't tell you about the rest well i mean we're both big fans of arthur c clark who was the og universal scale sense of wonder in his ideas right he was a real pioneer of sci-fi i grew up reading his books i know you've read like almost all of his no i have not

read any really clark you're thinking of Philip K Dick. I think oh maybe anyway I mean I remember getting like as a kid like we went to like a jumble sale and I bought like this old This big old pop box of books and it was all just his short story collections and stuff like this And yeah, I just I loved it and that's really what got me into I guess science and and like like you know sci-fi generally so i i think it won the arthur c clark award this book so that's why that's why i got it as well yeah i'm excited it did so yeah anyway give it a give it a give it a read if you're looking for something what is it

called children of time children of time and then there's children of ruin and children there's a couple of sequels yeah right so i i've uh i mean ben said you know the sequels are not as good as the the first book but but I enjoyed them. But yeah, as a standalone book, even if you don't read the other two, it's superb. I loved it. All right. That's a good advice. I finished.

Did I tell you I finished reading Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow? No. It's about it's like it's basically indie game. The movie meets Ready Player One. OK. I mean, I hated Ready Player One. so this is going to be a hard sell? Yeah, imagine Ready Player One only without them being in a virtual world. Okay.

Is it shit? They're just making Indie Games. Is it shit like Ready Player One? Yeah, it really is bad. No, again, it's like Indie Game the Movie. It's following these small group of- What's Indie Game the Movie? It's a movie about these slightly odd quirky indie video game creators of about

five years ago like like people 10 years ago maybe like god how old is it and it's got like it's like you know it's the characters based on people like davey reedon who made stanley parable and stuff you know the slightly odd offbeat sort of indie indie indie game developers who were kind of at the dawn of this rise of indie games what is it a uh is it a a factual book or is it a a fictional book it's a it's a fiction but i mean it's it's it's it's won a lot of awards and i checked it out because okay um it was like the guardian book of the year last year oh and so yeah i don't know i checked it out and i think i own this it's to do with gaming so yeah i think

i think someone bought me this it's strangely familiar yes yeah someone sent me a copy of it as well all right i think they sent it to the yogs offices actually can i tell you something exciting before we finish up sure i started playing x-com 2 again and i've really enjoyed it well i i started playing fucking aliens colonial, Colonial, whatever the fuck, the new one. Dark Descent. Any good? I thought it was absolute shit. Okay, good.

I'll stick to XCOM. Sips, do not listen to chat. They will try to steer you into playing Long War. Do not do it, my brother. Don't play Long War. Do not do it. No, no, I'm playing vanilla, no mods. I'm not even playing War of the Chosen right now.

Oh, wow. You should do War of the Chosen, actually. You should do War of the Chosen. You have no mods? I have done war of the chosen i liked it enough but i just wanted to do there are a couple of you don't even have the mod like shut up bradford and and with the the way you can evac everyone at once you don't have any mods there's like some real good quality of life mods in there oh my god good luck i'm back in 2015 i've gone back in time don't bother playing alien stuck descent it's just it's just like it's it's just not good okay sorry if

you like it i love aliens i love you love a dark descent i love aliens i love the universe but playing the first hour of alien stuck descent was almost like taking something that i actually found exciting and scary and turning it into something that was just lame. Like a not scary. Yeah. And this is why I feel like I'm out of touch. Because this is a new game that's coming out and everyone's telling me about it saying, oh, if you like XCOM, play this.

And oh, if you like Aliens, play this. And I love both of those things. But I couldn't get on with it. I know, Flax, you haven't played that much Diablo 4. Lewis, you played a little bit of Diablo 4. I've experienced kind of the same thing as you as well with reading, reading about Diablo 4 and people's complaints about it. And then on the other side of that, people's praise for it or whatever. I don't know where I stand on either side.

Like, I think I agree with both sides. I don i i i think i agree i don't understand when when yeah i don't understand when someone's like oh i've only played 250 hours of diablo 4 and i hate it and it's like well that's what what like you know yeah you can't i don't those those people are so confused about it but there is there is genuinely a lot of like uh dad hate in the diablo community because i think people want this you know they're very specific about the things that they want changed about the game which is fine and then for every time that happens you'll just have like some dad who gets to play for like two hours a week chiming in saying i'm having a great time i enjoy this and then everybody gets really

pissed off about that uh you know because uh they can't they can't swap builds easily or whatever are the most vocal right yeah and i think you're always gonna get this right where i think this what happens is there's this big pool of people right and as games come out little pools of people get left in old games yeah there's still some people playing diablo 2 there's still some people playing diablo 3 there's still some people playing path of exile there's still lots of people playing these other games right and so they're all coming back for this new experience but it's not what they like necessarily they might like elements of those games that aren't in this and they want their game in their head they want it to be more like the thing that they're familiar with the thing that they're comfortable

with the experience they liked before and so they're in this when you make a new game you're always you're always trying to like it's like writing a new star wars thing you know you have to do enough fan service to the existing audience to not alienate them yeah make it familiar enough and appeal to new audience who are playing it for the first time. Because how long ago was Diablo 3? Wow, that's like 10 years ago. It's an incredible amount of time. It came out in 2011, right?

Do you know what I mean? 2012, that's 11 years ago. Do you know what I mean? It's been 11 years since the last game. You can't have a direct sequel to something that ancient, right? Because everyone's changed 11 years is so long yeah if i played that when i was 16 and i'm now 27 like that is crazy um changed so much anyway um i think that's enough trifles for today thank you yeah i mean thanks so much um as as usual for listening to our our podcast thank you so much. Thank you so much. I think I talked too much and I

had too much to drink this podcast but I think it went okay. Are you drunk? No, I'm only joking. That's how I felt about my date. He's getting all lubed up. He's got his date is right after. That's why he's got to go. Well, I'm going away for two weeks now.

So, you know, the passion may well fade. So, you're going to TwitchCon and then you're off to Greece on holiday. Yeah, I'm on holiday. I'm gonna go to the beach and read a book maybe. I'm gonna read Children of Ruin on- Do it! Under an umbrella.

Oh, nice. Well, enjoy. Children of Time. Have a great time. I hope you have fun. We'll see all you guys next time on the TryForge Podcast. Yes. Yeah.

See you then. Adieu, Mizani. Bye. Bye.