Triforce! - Triforce! #267: Get the hell out of Balamory

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

Triforce! Episode 267! Flax gets some big goth boots and wants to meet some big goth guys, Lewis pivots hard into the "taxidermy" guy and we're giving you the definitive guidebook to Surviving in Britain! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe A little touch of sunshine on an autumn day. Oh, man. It's just suddenly autumn. Like, it went from a heat wave to, holy crap, it feels like the fall. None of my clothes are appropriate. I got rained on, like, totally soaked yesterday to the point where I came into the office. And I changed my socks because I stepped in a puddle and my socks were, like, completely soaked. And then Ben was like, do you have a spare pair? Because mine are soaked. Do you have those ones? So I gave him a puddle and my socks like please so and then Ben was like do you have a spare pair? It's just my two soaks. You have those ones I gave him a pair of socks you have those the men's the hold-up ones

You know like they got like the little struggles is the strap if I was that fashionable sips I wouldn't have got they wouldn't go away in the first place I mean, I was wearing proper boots and suspenders and like I know galoshes. Yeah, dude galoshes on yeah i would be fine but i'm never i'm never you're not prepared i'm not a dad like you guys have you got your winter outfits if you got like boots and stuff to walk around in wellies no it's still uh it's still sneakers and shorts and uh if it's really cold i'll put a sweater on instead of a t-shirt but uh yeah the shorts do you have gardening clothes as well gardening boots i i don't have gardening boots i do own wellies but i don't wear them often but i um a couple months ago i bought i've always wanted them and for some reason it's

one of those things that i just never bought myself but i've always wanted i bought a pair of doc martens oh nice i uh i've always literally always wanted you can make some waffles now if you want or uh yeah and i so i was i was out shopping with my youngest and i saw the doc martens shop and i was like do you know what i've waited 47 years to get a pair of these boots why did you get the did you get the high rise like red ones or did you know these are the classic black Docs. Right. Like the low cut. No, they're just like, they're boots.

All right. Okay. So they go like up a bit. Yeah, like proper Doc Martin boots. And they're super warm and very comfortable. So I got them. Nice. And they're for winter months.

So I can wear nice big thick socks with them. And I figure I'll just be stomping around wearing my Doc Martens when the weather turns bad. Like, I love wearing jumpers. And in the summer, of course, you can't. I don't look great in clothes, but I look really bad in a T-shirt. Get me in a jumper or a hoodie, we're away with it. I feel happy and content. So honestly, I don't mind the clothing in the winter, but I hate the lack of heat.

I despise the cold with every fiber of my being yeah same um i i although i don't know maybe i've never really been a boots person i've got to admit i've i even looking at these stock martins i'm sort of i feel like they wouldn't fit comfortably or wouldn't know how to walk around in them or they'd be like i don't know like i just i'm not scared take the lead mate i i, I've never been a boots person because this is the first time I've owned them, but you feel like a king wearing them. There's just something about wearing a boot.

You feel prepared for anything. I think it's like... Let me know, guys. I want this in the mailbag. I want boots recommendations. I want clothing style recommendations because I don't have any style. My style is hoodies and jeans,

and it has been for too many years same i want to dress like um i don't want to dress like a magician i want to dress like i want to dress like smart but i'm worried that i would come across as a magician do you know what i mean because i'm like quite diminutive i think if you dress too fancy people might mistake you for a dandy you know what i mean like a foppish dandy if you will yes and i think i mean the one thing i'm always on the lookout for is cool t-shirts and a lot of the time people like if you look up like cool t-shirts and stuff it's all just stuff with like basic bitch jokes on or like pictures of Chewbacca or skulls I mean I've got some really genuinely unusual

cool t-shirts that I love um and I like those I want I want the the indie t-shirt essentially independent very few like that kind of thing I'll pay a little more for them but I what I don't want is just to have to wear the same old grubby t-shirts all the time that's not why I see I see you as a czech shirt man yeah I see you most more as a czech shirt man as well i wear a lot of czech shirts as well you've got lumberjack vibes going on i'm with the boots let me tell you something it's it's all about the lumberjack shit yeah that's like almost a whole look right it is a look it is a look but then i i wear a hoodie as well so it's uh it makes it a little awkward because the hoodie hoodie's over a button up shirt doesn't feel as good you got so you got the it a little awkward because the hoodie hoodie's over a button-up shirt

doesn't feel as good you got so you got the lumberjack shirt you got the doc martens you're bald so basically your skin you're a skinhead now i am essentially a skinhead yes you are one no although to be fair to skinheads look the hold on there might be some skinheads listening yes there were some asshole skinheads who are in the national front and stuff but a lot of it was more about music and and all the rest of it so i i'm not gonna lump all skinheads who were in the National Front and stuff, but a lot of it was more about music and all the rest of it. So, I'm not going to lump all skinheads, especially as a representative of the Bold Brothers Union. I refuse to lump all skinheads in as racists and nutters. There were different vibes. Skinheads are just Bold Brothers who-

It does come with some negative connotations for sure, the whole thing. But yeah, I know what you mean. There are some not racist ones as well. Absolutely. There's a gang, I think. There's a gang of skinheads who were- I think there's a documentary about them who were very anti-racist and actually they'd go seek out racist skinheads and beat them up. That's all they did. I'm not advocating violence, but sure. Sure. Yeah, it's just an option though, just putting that out there.

Just if you want, yeah. If you feel like that's your path. Yeah, you've got a lot of choice, you know. That might be your path. I just feel like I haven't, I'm like between styles right now. Between styles. Because I wore this suit, because we went to this dinner. Oh yeah, how was that? It was really nice, it was really nice.

Obviously, I always say this, but if you hang out with charity people, they're rarely cunts, I find. They're really cunts? They're rarely, really. Oh, thank God. Okay. I was like, wow. There's got to be one or two in the mix, though. Not that I've found.

I bet you if you looked really hard, you'd find them. Maybe. I think I did speak to a few people who were like, you'd be surprised how many actual arseholes there are in this sort of industry but um they're all fascinating people to talk to and we went to this big dinner at um Bristol Art Museum and it was sort of a charity dinner so you had to pay a table and then had to buy some raffle tickets um 10 pounds each you know and then we had to pay on the it was like a pub quiz but we also had to pay to get the joker to get the double points around um you had to pay to get the Joker to get the double points round. You had to pay extra for all that? Yeah, well, you know, it pays to win pub quiz, isn't it?

When you have to buy the Joker for charity. So, you know, I of course don't mind. But the pub quiz, we absolutely killed it at the pub quiz. We destroyed it. Because the whole point of it was to eat the brain surgeons There was some brain surgeons from Bristol Children's Hospital, right? And you're supposed to get a higher school than them and yeah, but what were the questions were the questions all about like anime and? Warhammer and stuff like that because I feel like brain surgeons It was would would absolutely wreck you if all the questions were related to brain surgery, right?

Yeah, no, you'd think brain surgery would be kind of their thing. Yeah. I think being a brain surgeon is a very hard job. Yeah. So hard that it almost certainly consumes all of your knowledge and time. You probably don't have much time for anything else. Yeah, they lack general knowledge. They have brain surgeon knowledge.

Maybe common sense for them isn't so common after all. Indeed. Or even makes sense. It was so there was a pitch around, obviously, of Bristol famous Bristolians. Which we love. Is it a brain? Was it that racist guy, that statue? Was it was his name called? No.

What was his name again? I can't remember his name. God, what was it they toppled the statue and dragged it into the harbor down his statue we've all forgotten colston colston yeah was he on the list uh he was it that might be his name no he wasn't on this a few people were though i recognized like dave dave prowse and stuff like dave prowse darth vader himself yeah he was from bristol yeah, my God. That's why they didn't let him voice Darth Vader. Because you can watch the behind the scenes of Dave Prowse delivered the lines

so that, you know, his movements were in time and the other actors could respond to it. And he was like, I don't know why they cut me. I thought my performance was fine. If this is a diplomatic vessel, where's the ambassador? He's like holding her by the throat. They got James Earl Jones to do the voices too, which felt like the right to do it. Oh, it was the right choice. Yeah. Anyway, and then

there was a round where you had to build a grommet out of plasticine, which we had done on Jingle Jam. That is such a Bristol thing as well, right? Because it's the home of, or used to be the home of Hardman, or maybe still

also up and other big sponsor of the what's the watson grommet um grand appeal it's called oh my god it's just the bristol bristol so free advertising then is what you're saying they're they're trying to get all of their ips in there yeah and get some i see how it is and so yeah they did they donated some things to the raffle like you could buy you could um and there was an auction as well like uh at the end where you they were selling like a football shirt signed by some manchester united people and it was like a trip around aardman and a few other bits and bobs so yeah it was um it's good good night like nice good quiz it's good night we won the raffle well we lydia won the first prize of the raffle, but by the time she got the front, the next few people had been called. So she didn't get her first pick of the of the prizes.

That is a disgrace. That is a disgrace. That's a disgrace. I know. But it's still for charity, so we didn't really mind. And she got a prize that she wanted anyway. We won the pub, the pub. We won the quiz as well. Nice. Which was kind of it did you get up on a table and do the Triple H suck it move?

thrust into the crossed-over wrists well well we had to obviously every table was split into two teams of five and We came out that what the team on the other side of us came first and we came second There was a little bit of like sharing of answers I think right we didn't think we'd done all that well and i think we just i think we got unlucky on the joker and the i think mike and ravs and some of the other guys on the other table just knew fucking answers mike and lydia were like she was like i love a quiz me and mike literally do trivial pursuit every night and we have for

years it's like we know we know this and i was like damn so then they did they killed lydia is of course in her 60s yes yes so people that play true pursuit every night um so yeah there was like a there was like a music round as well which we we totally nailed and um yeah it was it was a really good time really really nice really just really chill and bristol art museum if you've never been it's like free it's like it's like a also it's like a regular cultured swine i would never step foot near an establishment it's a nice it's a nice place to walk around it's a little bit like one of these old i think bristol museum and art gallery is a little bit like bristol zoo used to be i.e it's tried to is it closed now bristol zoo it is closed now the wild place is taken over i

guess what yeah it's a nice zoo actually it was a really nice it was a nice little city zoo yeah but i think its history was a little bit i think i think i think they need more space too for what like all zoos right like zoos these days i don't know if you guys feel the same way but certainly i think there's this real push for conservation and yeah giving giving enough space for the animals and not cruelty and cost, right? Because caring for these animals properly, especially an animal that's fucking designed to live in Africa, do you know what I mean? In sunshine all the time, you know, and we're moving it to the fucking- It's weird because it's a big space in the middle of a residential area, effectively.

But then in terms of a zoo, it's quite a small space, right, for what they need to do. It was quite- Well, I think again, yeah, it's in the middle of Clifton, so it's prime real estate. You know, it's like- Can you imagine if there was a zoo in the most expensive part of London? There is. Yes. It's there? Yes. It's in North London.

Smack in the middle of the- It's like near Camden, isn't it? Where is it? It's like close to- Isn's smack in the middle of the, uh, of where- It's like near Camden, isn't it? Um, where is it? It's like close to, isn't it close to Hyde Park or like just- London Zoo is near Regent's Park. Regent's Park, sorry, yeah. It's right near Camden, which is, you know, but it is, I mean, Camden, Camden's

got its good bits and its bad bits, but it's not like, I, yeah, I think it's in the right, it's in the right spot. I mean, it's not like i i it's yeah i think i think it's in the right it's in the right spot i mean anyway it's not that far from from like mayfair and stuff no yeah they sort of moved the zoo out into the country a bit it's called there's a new sort of place that's taken over called the wild place yeah yeah it's good is it it's nice yeah it's a lot more um open you know it's not it's it it's it's open and feels a bit more a little bit more i should say natural for the animals they have much bigger enclosures and uh it's just a lot more open for them to you feel like you're you're in a in like a safari park more you know it's not one but it's just it's just a lot bigger there's a lot more space for them to to set up stuff like they have a huge

huge giraffe enclosure um well that's that's what needs to be i mean yeah i mean these are huge animals that are used to having uh like a ton of space to themselves right so it it it's only right that you should strive to if you can um you know put them somewhere like that oh yeah i think they've done a pretty good job so i think the zoo was fine but i mean it was a it was a bit of a relic it needed updating and a lot of people have tried and it changed a lot over the years and the same with bristol art museum and gallery but it's it's kind of still a little bit like one of these british museums where it's a little bit um oh look at this random eclectic collection of stuff from other people's countries yeah yeah that we've managed

to accumulate over the years and there's a lot of taxidermied animals yes which i'm generally a little bit like uncomfortable with what do you think about taxidermy this isn't something we've ever talked about before i want to know generally i don't i don't think about it a lot um i'll just put that out there but no but i'm not i'm not saying how often do you think about it a lot. I'll just put that out there. No, but I'm not saying how often do you think about it. I'm saying, let's say you have a beloved pet. Yes. Or you've killed a rare animal.

Yes. How do you feel about people having taxidermied animals around their house? Well, I mean, I don't kill animals for sport, and I would never memorialize a pet in that way. So, my opinion of it is just like probably against. But again, I don't really think about it that much. But if you are somebody who hunts and you want trophies and stuff, then I guess for you, then that's probably a great thing that it can be done or it exists or whatever right i i think yeah like for my end like you go to the you go to this place and there's literally a taxidermy everything um you know there's a giant gorilla and a fucking bison and all sorts of shit

right and you you at first you're like oh these are all of it i don't like this and then almost like within like five minutes you're like okay i'm all a bit i don't like this and then almost like within like five minutes you're like okay i'm just looking and then it kind of becomes interesting because you can see what are the kinds of animals that you've never seen taxidermied because i think i think we've probably all seen stuffed animals and it's it's normally big deer and moose and stuff like that right occasionally a bear soally a bear. So, I have... Birds. I've seen taxidermy of like pets.

Right. Have you ever seen like a donkey? You know what I mean? No. Or like even a donkey head. Like there's certain animals that I think there's a line in the world of taxidermy that they will not cross, right? For whatever reason.

Maybe. I mean, I just think some animals are less beloved, I guess. Yeah. But you see cats, sometimes dogs. I'm just thinking, if you love an animal, I mean, we love Aggie, but I wouldn't want her dead hanging around the house. Stuffed. No, you're not wrong. I think this is just like- It's weird, isn't it?

It feels like something people don't do anymore. What about a painting of a pet? Like a big, you commission a big painting of a pet. You have like a small picture, but it's like a grand painting of the pet. I think it's a little grandiose for a pet. Or maybe even that you sitting and the pet is sitting on your lap and that's the painting. I just think it's a bit, it's big upping oneself and one's pet a little too much for me. I think it lacks subtlety.

Here's something I like, right? Hang on a second. Let me just pause for a second. You, would you, are you saying you prefer that animal to be like hard to see? You like, you, you prefer it to be in a zoo where it's hidden under a rock and there's a picture of it. And you're like, is it in there? And you look for it for a bit.

You can't really see it, but you can see its tail sticking out. Why would he be saying that? That makes no sense. He's going on a treasure hunt at the zoo? Versus a taxidermied one where you can see it up close. It's right there. You prefer it to be behind the curtain. No, I think they both lack.

I don't know. I just feel like if you have a giant picture of yourself and your pet, it's like anyone having a giant picture of themselves in their house. It just feels a bit twat-ish. Sure. Right. If I went into someone's house and they had a huge picture of themselves, like sat in a big red fancy armchair with their dog at their side

and they've got their hand on them and you know they're sort of stuff in the background that's meant to mean something i'd feel like just off i came running for a cup of tea i don't need to you know what i mean i've got a picture of myself on my wall next to me in the office here i've never been to your house no it's not my house it's in the office it's for everyone to see it's true i went to lewis's house one time and one thing i noticed about lewis is that um he has a it's like a a clean and tidy house for the most part okay except that there's just areas of his house where it looks like he stood uh still like like a plank and all of his clothes

just fell off and landed on the floor and then he just left them there. You know, like magic. Just in a big pile. Like something out of like Morph or something, you know, like it just, his clothes just like sort of- That's actually very true, yeah. Melted off of him and then he just left them on the floor there where they fell. Like some people had been raptured. Yes. Raptured.

So what Mrs. F has, her grandmother had a dog that she loved. It was a little sausage dog. And when the dog died, they made, they had a bronze of not of the dog, but of a- Sausage dog. Yeah, sausage dog that looked like this one and in his sort of, in a playful pose that he would often have. So if I wanted to do one of Aggie, when she sits down, cause she doesn't have a tail, she sits kind of like a person. Like she sits down on her ass with her legs sticking out right and that's the bronze I would have if I had one made and that's kind of sweet because it just looks like

you use it as a doorstop or whatever it's just around it's not in some fancy place it's just in the house to remind you of them but at no point are you thinking I have to put this front and center and if someone else sees it they're not even gonna know they might just ask oh that's very nice and you might say oh yeah it's a it's a bronze of my dog agnes she uh she died about 20 years ago oh that's very sweet but having a gigantic stuffed aggie just feels a bit yeah a bit creepy it says to me what if you had like a massive massive doberman or something like that and you got it stuffed? That'd be weird, right? Or an American bully XL.

Oh, well, yeah. Get them stuffed while you can because you won't be able to. Taxidermy works well if you're a quirky kind of person who wears like frilly, lacy, you know, a dress, you know, and a Victorian era sort of veil, you know, and you've got this house full of like little tables and little stands and little framed thimbles and things weird quirky stuff and then you have like all your monopoly pieces of yesteryear framed and uh yeah you've got like all this stuff collection you know like but you know what lewis i'm not kidding but you're looking for a new vibe go for go for quirky dandy who has taxidermy around the house. Go for like goth.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe make that your profile. See how many swipes you get for that one. You'll only get goth girls. You'll get loads of goth girls. There's no shame in that. Let me tell you something. Yeah, yeah.

Flax has become one with his Doc Martens. With my boots. Yeah, he's putting some heavy eye makeup on and he's ready to go. I think I could rock some eye makeup on and he's ready to go i think i think i could rock some eye makeup man i think you don't see many goth girls in my age range god be said in 30s that's true very i don't think i've even seen you're just not looking hard enough no well that's no it's not a question of looking hard enough sips there's like there's like hundreds of women on these apps like you know you you swipe, you know.

Yeah, but hold on, hold on. You're looking in the wrong place. Oh, I see. There's a dedicated dating app for goth people. Hey, listen, I just got to go. Oh, so they're a shadowy breed. I got to let somebody into my house. I'll be right back. Do it.

We'll carry on. The goth girls are a shadowy breed. I see. You know what I mean? They don't. They're in the chat in the corners. Yeah, they lurk like a vampire-esque. They don't.

I don't know if goth is in right now. Let me know let me know if that's the point of goth it's not in it's anti in whatever in is goth ain't like even if people have i mean obviously the big black eye makeup is is very popular and that's quite gothic in a sense but equally having a bald head doesn't make you a skinhead having eye makeup doesn't make you a goth no the gods out there will know what i'm talking about no but i guess what i was saying is that things that are cool influence general culture and general look and general style right and this is why we get the mullet coming back right for whatever fucking reason everyone's got a mustache and a mullet australians that's what it was they repopularized

it um listen uh if you think about it the problem problem with proper goth, which was in the 80s, when it came along to like the 2000s, everybody was emo, right? That was the thing, emo. And it, you know, bands that had the eye makeup and maybe wore a sort of Victorian officer's jacket and thought that that made them emo. If you look up the history of emo, it's definitely not related to those bands, the sort of American emo version. And then there was like Screamo and all this kind of stuff. It just meant angsty teenagers listen to this music. That's essentially what it was. But that's not what emo was. If you look up the history of emo music, I'm sure there are some emo fans out there that will know what I'm talking about. This ain't it. So I think goth was appropriated by the emo movement and places like Hot Topic basically said, oh yeah, this

is all kind of goth. But that was never goth. Goths were meant to be almost shocking to normies. And it was a sort of reaction to punk. Goth was sort of different again and kind of more, more genuinely gothic and big hair and shit like that. And that's, I don't know if that's still a vibe that people go for. I think the reason you don't see goths on Tinder is because either they, as people get older, they change their look and say, but you could seriously appeal to those goths, Lewis, by going in there and they'd relive their youth.

I could bring out their inner goth. The gothification. There are loads of goths, but I didn't realise they were goths. Yes, they're all basically retired goths. They didn't realize they were goths yes they're all basically retired they were hiding they're retired yeah they've blended in maybe that is it maybe they feel like they have to conform but that's not a very gothic thing to do is it no but it's not it's not even conforming i mean most most people that are part of a movement or a sort of group when they're younger mellow as they get older because it's a lot of work to be in these groups you know you've got to go to the meetings or whatever you've got the goth put the boots on

i mean lacing those up's got to take the hour yeah do you mean maybe you've got an office job now maybe now you're an accountant and you're parking back to your goth days and you're still listening to those bands and all the rest of it and it's a big part of your identity and who you were and you've grown up but now you're just thinking i've got kids i don't want to check this like a goth like handshake or like a goth code you can let you could sort of hint at to let other people know look sad just look sad in the corner um i always thought goths were in the most impenetrable group i think because you were either a goth or you were shunned by goths oh i've always felt the most impenetrable group i think because you were either a goth or you were shunned by goths oh i've always felt the most genuinely the most um agreeable and chill group is heavy metal fans

oh yeah like they will fucking have anybody they're just up for the crack and they always feel like it's a lot more welcome you just need to fucking love heavy metal and preferably have long hair but you're in um and that's it it is quite a macho thing i'd say metal um but at the same time i've never felt most of the people i know a lot of women into it and it's it's hell yeah it's good too like i think it's they they're all they have always been very welcoming i think there's something someone yeah it's like more popular than you think as well as well right so when i say it's macho i'm not saying it's exclusive to to men no but if you look at um heavy metal i think it is a very aggressive musical form and and the men in heavy metal are expected to be oddly this mix yes like heavy

you know and that kind of thing um i mean if you want to talk about hair metal the reason that was seen as not real metal of course is because the guys basically dress like girls. You know, they were kind of girly clothes and everything to appeal to a more loose, loose sort of broad market, if you like. But real heavy metal. Dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug, dug That was about the hell and Satan and darkness and tattoos and beards and Vikings and shit, which is very macho. It's not exclusionary. It's a celebration. The Viking look is very in. Very metal.

Very metal. A lot of people I've seen looking for a Viking with tattoos and the big beard. You know, that's like a big I think that I don't't know there's a few obviously celebrities who've popularized that look um yeah the lad who played thor i mean that's a pretty pretty viking look isn't it right what's his name chris chris hemsworth yes yeah he's an aussie though you can still be a bloody good looking viking and an aussie you know he's australian he can't be a viking they're opposing ends of the globe can you imagine the alternate reality where would even be the vikings the australians would be the vikings would they be though they wouldn't be raided they'd be raiding down through um all the islands

i mean i i assume that they'll be raiding japan what great alternate reality yeah the vikings of australia they'd make their way up papua new guinea indonesia then up through malaysia the philippines taiwan china and they'd have to go around the coast of korea to get to japan yeah i mean those islands just asking to be raided look at them they wouldn't know what to hit them no they're all too nice don't you assume that the pacific islanders given how much the history of places like the pacific islands is based around warfare like the hacker is like a war thing you know i assume that the these lads will fight each other all the time but honestly they're not that close together i mean the vikings it's like a 10 minute ferry to get over to the uk but christ it's a hell of a stretch it is it's

like talking about um we saw a bit of this when we were in new zealand you know and then sort of the maori arriving on new zealand and their story and sort of you know just the constant wars they would have between groups of them even in new zealand you know yeah um and so in a sense like yeah it was awful that the west invaded and kind of took over and colonized their their islands but in a sense it also stopped them fighting amongst themselves quite so much that could be wrong um please take that with a pinch of salt i'm not an expert on the history of this of the islands but i i got that general gist from from somewhere and it could be it could be wrong so please whenever i talk about these things i don't know what I took

We were floundering with that We talked about goths good heavens wait still I felt like we just talked about it for a little bit and then we were talking about metal try get rid of Yeah Trying to dodge the the conversation. I didn't want to talk about God So they had a load of other stuff at the Bristol Museum. They have like rocks or minerals, I suppose, as we now supposed to call them from Breaking Bad. Which is nice. I love looking at rocks from various different strata.

Nice. There's a whole bunch of- Put that on your Tinder profile as well. Apparently, this is something i read the other day um it was just like don't be don't be ashamed of your um of your the things you're interested in like obviously i can you know i went into uniqlo when i was in um i talked to someone about this this morning i met uniqlo when i was in america and i think they have one in London as well, a couple but they have this checkout where you just place all of the stuff you want to buy

in a bin and it scans it all automatically every piece of clothing has a little tag on it or chip on it so you don't have to beep everything I bought like 10 things and it was just like oh you've bought these 10 things, do you want to go now? and I'm like yes please, and I was obsessed with this checkout technology in a really nerdy way and i'm not i'm not ashamed of that

i can i don't mind nerding out about checkout in the same way you know if you like looking at some you know titanium containing geode or whatever i can good for you like yeah i know i agree i i think if you're if you're into something, you like it, absolutely. Don't be ashamed. But you just might not be pulling Pamela Anderson on Tinder with that. What was it Sophie said? I might have told you this before, but she said this phrase, which is, don't yuck on my yum. Fucking horrible phrase. Yeah, it is kind of horrible, yeah. Speaking of Sophie, right, I was reading about Welsh nationalism for no reason.

All right. I was reading about it. And this is quite interesting. And I'm not even going to try to pronounce any of the Welsh words in this. But there was, I will find the details of it for you guys. Carry on talking for a moment and then we'll come back. Okay, sure. So, yeah, like the art gallery's got loads of random, it's got a lot of Chinese bowls, whatever, which I've no idea of the value of these things.

You need to get somebody from Bargain Hunt to look at them for you. Well, exactly. I used to watch all these old antique shows. Antiques road show as well, yeah. I'm looking at like a vase and I'm like, that's probably worth, you know, a couple of grand, right? But you've got no fucking idea whether this thing is one of a kind or there's millions of them or it's a modern reproduction. I've got no idea, like, what I'm looking at with half of this stuff. And so sometimes I'm walking around these places and I'm like,

I could not be less interested in this whole section of the museum. Yeah. I think we might have talked about this before, but, you know, the British Museum and having all of their, like something like 95 or 99%, some huge percentage of items that they've got is just never been displayed. It's all in the back. Yeah.

Some lad was nicking them. Yeah, some were stealing them too. I mean, some of it may be, like you said, just really boring bowls and stuff like that, that nobody cares about. I mean, I went to uh a couple of years ago we went to windsor castle and we did the tour of windsor castle and there's a room in there full of guns like it's just tons but old guns like muskets and like uh you know like pirate pistols and stuff like that oh lewis sounds great it was kind of i thought it you know it was pretty

it was pretty cool it was interesting and it was really well presented as well. Like it was grand. Sounds great. It was a huge cabinet up to the ceiling of muskets and like hunting rifles and pistols. But like old ones, you know, like really old ones. And they all like the Baker rifle and stuff from Sharp. Oh, yeah. That yeah soldiering all right and i thought that was kind of cool like i thought if you're gonna go somewhere and look at something

old that should be i think that should be the standard you know i think that there's a tendency for people to go to museums to see old shit because like a supermarket it's convenient it's loads of stuff from loads of histories in one big building. But if you go, there are tons of little museums and little things all over the fucking place that are way more local and just as interesting. It's just not as big collections. When we were in Santorini, we went to the museum, the Santorini Museum of Bronze Age Greek islands. And it was really interesting. They had some cool stuff in there, some cool mosaics. And it was nice to see.

It was nice to think about how people lived back then and the trading that went on. And just think how exciting it would be. You're on an island, you haven't seen any traders for a couple of months and they turn up and they've got this new stuff. You know, it's like the only way to get it. You can't just fucking order it. It just turns up on a boat. Yeah, but then you've just been in the same place the whole time and all you've got is like, you know, a harvest of cabbages or whatever. I think that the climate of the Greek islands lends itself to you know a harvest of cabbages or whatever like yeah i think that the

the climate of the greek islands lends itself to a bit more than just cabbage you've just got a full harvest of goat's cheese and olives and all that that doesn't sound too bad right that's not too bad at all actually yeah um i could do something with that yeah all right so you mentioned sophie obviously she's welsh um part of the Welsh Mafia at the Yogs. And for some reason I was reading about something called the flooding of Treweran, which was the river Treweran in Gwynedd in Wales. Apologies, Welsh listeners for my pronunciation.

But essentially there was a village called capital Kellen that despite the protests, um, they flooded it so they could get more water to Liverpool. Right. That it's kind of a weird thing, but they basically came up with this dam. Um, and they were like, this is a great idea. This will help, uh, the people of Liverpool, a private corporation called, um, Liverpool corporation waterworks. Um, they basically flooded this village where people lived.

And it was a Welsh language village. It was one of the few places where people only speak Welsh there, or that's the primary language at least. And so what did they do? Because they could not speak Welsh, they were unable to parlay with these people. And they just flooded them one night. Yeah. And they just washed them into the sea.

No, they just said to them, well, it's happening. We're going to do it. And they did it. And they moved them all out and flooded the valley and their town was lost. And this led to a lot of opposition. This was in the 60s, I think. Oh. And a sort of Welsh nationalist movement grew out of it, featuring a group called the Movement

for the Defence of Wales, which was abbreviated to MAC. Now, I'm going to attempt to pronounce this. Muriad Amddiffyn Cymru, which was the Movement for the Defence of Wales, which is a paramilitary Welsh nationalist organisation. Jeez. Okay. This was in the 60s. They bombed things.

They blew things up. I don't think they killed any people. Sadly, they blew up a couple of their own members. Blew themselves up. They blew up a dam and they flooded a whole town. They blew up the transformer at the entrance. Not the robot, but the electrical transformer. And a few other things like pylons and stuff to try and fuck with the infrastructure.

Right. To raise the issue that they were not happy about this. So yeah, I had never heard of this. I'd never heard of this. I'd never heard of this at all. But yeah, the Welsh nationalist movement MAC was active in a little bit of paramilitary terrorism. And there is a thing in Wales that you can see, it's a wall that's been painted with the phrase, again, apologies to the Welsh, Cofuic Drweryn, which means remember Trweryn, which is like essentially like saying remember the Alamo for the Welsh. And it's a stone wall near Llanar Histad in Ceredigion in Wales.

And it's like someone painted this and now it's there and they keep repainting it every time someone comes in and fucks with it doesn't matter daf has it tattooed all across his back i would not paint over that so and he's got like there's t-shirts and banners replica murals so i've never heard of any of this stuff um and the one of the reasons i haven't heard of it is first of all it's kind of a weird story that i don't think is particularly well known but i was watching you know limmy s Sips. Yeah. Yeah. So he was, he does, he streams quite often where he watches old game shows on like British telly from their seventies and eighties.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that sounds great. It's really funny. And he watches them and pauses and talks about it. Cause obviously times have changed so much that sometimes these things feel so hopelessly dated that it's just unbelievable to think that this is in, in my lifetime, this is what TV was like sort of thing.

Yeah. And one of them was family fortunes with bob monkhouse was the presenter and they get they get the couple up there and you know they say we asked 100 people blah blah blah and then you have to buzz in give an answer and if it's on the board your team can choose to pass or play right yeah yeah yeah so the question is name living or dead name a famous scotsman and neither of the people at the buzzer buzzed. And Bob's waiting for an answer. And he's waiting for an answer. And Limmy's like, get the fuck.

Like, what is going on here? And they literally could not think of it. No, really? It's grim. So his point was, this is why Scotland is not really part of the UK. It's like, you could name a famous Englishman quite easily. But for some reason, these three or four, you could name a famous Englishman quite easily, but for some reason, these three,

or four as it is, separate countries combined to one, we still manage to ignore what's happening in each other's, across each other's borders, even though we're the closest neighbours

it's possible to be. Rab C. Nesbitt. He's not a real person. Oh, shit. Groundskeeper Willie. Played by an American. I would have just said Sean Connery Mel Gibson

when was this in the 80s? Mel Gibson is not Scottish you could just no no Braveheart right so he said William Wallace

so the thing is William Wallace people other than people that read about history this was pre-Braveheart had people heard of William Wallace maybe in Scotland they had

but I don't think we'd heard about it down here it was Braveheart popularised the myth of William Wallace because that film is completely ahistorical. But it was, you know, Scottish people came out of that movie, wanting to fucking kill us all.

You know what they should have done? They should have timed the independence vote with the release of Braveheart. They would have fucking won. They would have just gone crazy. I would say Billy Connolly, but that wouldn't work back in the 70s. No, this was the 80s. He was big in the 80s. Was Billy Connolly, but that wouldn't work back in the 70s. No, this was the 80s. He was big in the 80s. Was Billy Connolly, would that have worked?

Yes, absolutely. Sean Connery, Billy Connolly. Sean Connery. I forgot about Sean Connery. Robert Burns. Duncan Bannatyne. Robbie Burns. Robbie Burns.

Duncan Bannatyne. Duncan Bannatyne. Duncan Bannatyne. James McAvoy. David Tennant. You could keep going i mean kenny dal gleish we could go footballers easily alex fucking ferguson well no but these wouldn't work in the 80s would they would alex ferguson work in the 80s no probably not but that was the thing there were still plenty of famous scottish people about i mean sean connery the umpire one

of the biggest movie stars around the umpire from sas the umpire the guy from gladiators gladiators that wasn't until the 90s either oh my god is that where we've come to the guy from gladiators already it was iconic that's tragic well i mean that's that's good stuff like i i think it's it's interesting how we have such i was wondering if other countries have this as well. Like, you know, in Japan, do they have an area that is like Wales or like Scotland or do any other countries have like these little kind of sub- I think in some Spain, northern Spain, I think they have. Yeah. Like Catalonia, I think that's quite- Yeah.

You've got the Basque country as well and all that. Canada's huge, but like, it's very, you know, like, I grew up in Ontario and I could, at the time, politicians, whatever, all from Ontario that if you went to another province, they'd just be like, huh, what are you talking about? You know, like, there's tons of like, just local. Just the French Canada's different. Local specific stuff. Yeah. And then French Canada itself is super, super localized too.

And then I know in China, I guess they have different languages as well. They have Cantonese and Mandarin for different areas too. So, I guess it must be more prevalent than you realize. It's not just an English, not British sort of weird thing. Yeah. Regional accents and stuff. Even Canada's got regional accents. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, I think it's perfectly normal i mean look at the u.s yeah u.s as well yeah the difference between the states can be enormous like there's no way that you would say that new york and texas have much in common at all no you couldn't really think of them as being more different yeah um but that's that's one thing but the thing is i think it's definitely

more pronounced than the counties that we have you know yeah oh yeah yeah but i mean the difference between north and south is very different but i think if you think about scotland for one thing the tv is different they have bbc scotland right so different you know there would be shows shown in scotland that would not be shown down here um at all and there would be shows that we would show that you couldn't get in scotland even though they really wanted to watch they did show uh balamore um yes they did which is a documentary of scottish life it is absolutely what's the story in balamore wouldn't you like to know wouldn't you like to know indeed that's very aggressive yeah when you like to know you fucking like to know what the story is in balamore you nosy fucker he's coming in you like to fucking know get out of balamore you're not welcome here the fuck out of balamore today. You nosy fucker. He's coming in here. Wouldn't you like to fucking know? Get out of Balamore.

You're not welcome here. Get the fuck out of Balamore. I don't want to see you here ever again. That's the final episode of Balamore. They push out the foreigners. Yeah. Bloody camera crew coming in. Balam exit. It means Balam exit. I think you're going to

get that a lot, though. It's the same in well, Northern Ireland has a lot of its own, its own stuff, right? They probably have similar to Scotland. They probably got like, uh, you know, BBC Northern Ireland and whatever. Like it, it, it'll be, it'll be localized, but like regional for like where, where they are sort of thing. Um, but a lot of stuff you'll just never, you'll never hear of. I mean, even in England, it's the same, right? You got like the, like I live fairly close to the Southwest, but like you don't get any of the local news from the Southwest.

You know what I mean? Like it's, it's all centric to, to here. I mean, nothing happens in the South. I'm still thinking about that. Those muskets and guns. Oh man. Honestly. Yeah. happens in the south i'm still thinking about that those muskets and guns oh man honestly yeah nothing excites me more than like a big picture of a naval battle from the napoleonic era don't get me started on that era mate i fucking love it yeah so me and um so me and me and ben and

we we had a friend come down last week chris peach and um we did a sharp do you call him the beach we call him peachy yeah peachy of course right peachy you get on really well with him he's a fellow i love peachy aldian oh yeah yeah you you'd love him so he came down with all of these napoleonic era stuff he painted all right he's my best friend and he painted up sharp and all the characters were sharp and we did a games night and it was so good i love napoleonics that's like my one of my all-time favorite eras of history it's so fascinating it was it was such an interesting and i i'd be i started watching sharp in preparation for him i watched all the old 90s sean bean you know swaggering around getting shot swashbuckling around getting all the women you know it was really it's a real it's a real obvious time thing sharp was i think i think it was a really fun show um the thing is obviously all the battles were like there's a french division

commenter and there's like four lads yeah and they've got five lads. Yeah. Yeah. It's all very skirmishy. It had the first episodes have Brian Cox in from Succession. Yeah. Yeah. The big boss. And he was in loads of stuff. He was in Manhunter. Which is the. He was the original.

He was the original Hannibal Lecter. Yeah. Yeah. The second episode has Daniel Cragen as an evil English sort of officer who rapes someone. Oh, my God. Yes. Isn't that fucking insane? Yes.

There's someone else is in an episode. I think Mark Strong is in an episode as well. There's a whole, like all of those shows that you watched that were like the 90s telly shows are just fucking, all the Hollywood actors you see now, it's like, oh shit.

Like Bill. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, it's that guy. It's quite funny. Like all the sketch shows that had Olivia Colman. She used to be in everything, didn't she? And did half the adverts yeah she she was a prolific like telly star before she got big in movies so uh you know you know the meme question that's going around at the moment uh how often do you think about the roman empire right that's the question which i

think is really funny it is actually a really funny meme um well i didn't even know about this and sarah asked me for a tiktok like blind i didn't realize it was a thing but my son asked me that the other day and i was like this is what i'm saying yeah it actually comes up it's all random but i just went with it i just said oh i don't really think about that at all sorry so i uh i started playing rome 2 total war again because there's a back of this no because there's a big mod oh dvd at impera which is like complete rebuild of the game and makes it i guess yeah and it's so so so lewis put all this on your tinder profile divide divide and rule yes yeah yeah but it's honestly it's amazing and i've been streaming that i streamed it yesterday i started at 8 30 i finished at 5 and then i started up again in the evening and streamed

for another four and a half hours so i played like 13 hours of wow you'll have to link me that's crazy just check my voice dude it's literally every fucking day oh my god i tell you what i've been doing i've been doing jingle jam reach out doing jiggle jam reach out, right? Which is insane. Um, the amount of effort is, and it's stress. It's like I get proper whiplash because some people are super nice. Some people are super stupid or super, super dumb or super asshole.

Um, and it literally, it's literally back and forth. It's like some people send me the nicest messages ever. Like, Oh, I'm so glad to be part of it. I'll help however I can.

Other people are like, just, they're so demanding or they like, they want this and this and this. And they're like, oh, and they keep going back and forth all that. Or they just ask these awfully dumb questions or they just rude.

Um, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's weird, but you just see so many games as well. Like I've never played,

like I've, I've added like a hundred games to my wishlist over the last two weeks. Just, just looking at games on Steam. So I'm properly getting excited about games again. So the last few months I've kind of been like, ugh, games.

Jesus. I played, I played Baldur's Gate three for like a hundred hours straight, pretty much. Like, like, like Flack said, like early starts played again,

like in the evening, like 12 hours a day. Yeah. I finished it and I started another runed again, like, in the evening, like, 12 hours a day. Yeah, I finished it. And I started another run right after. Yeah. But I made it to Grimforge. And I was just like, fuck, I think I've just played too much

Baldur's Gate 3. I got to take a break. Like, just way, way, way too much. But also, my second run was just, like, cursed immediately. Like, I killed everybody in the grove by accident. Oh, my god like everybody's dead i killed carlack i killed she didn't want to join us in the first place i wanted to see i wanted to have will in my party the whole way through and he left uh because he was just like you you're

too awful because like just everything wrong you got a starion is in there you never fucking starion i got a starion shadow heart and uh now that will's left i've got a hireling oh my god a dwarf a dwarf hireling to replace will until because we because because we slaughtered everybody in the grove when you go to the goblin camp and you speak to minthara she's like okay um you know let's let's let's hit the grove have a sleep and i'll see you tomorrow and then when you wake up the nextara she's like okay um you know let's let's let's hit the grove have a sleep and i'll see you tomorrow and then when you wake up the next day she's like oh you've already done all the work for me hero let's let's let's get let's have sex so you have possibly the most awkward sexual encounter with minthara like she's like fully jacking you off and everything it's insane

and then uh and then Will leaves because he's like no I don't I don't like this this is and then you can't even find Halcyon because he's because he somehow finds out that you've done all this and wants nothing to do with you okay do you think that if you lost a character and replaced them with the companion you can hire from with us right are they just like a sex bot and you can just no it's it's withers they have no soul so it's just withers speaking to you through but can you fuck this avatar through that no you can you can barely interact this is the eternal question everyone seems to be asking can you fuck x you might as well just play fucking h-tie games, you horny motherfuckers. But it's crazy, because in

Baldur's Gate 3, most of the time, the answer is yes, but I think with Hirelings, it's no, because they don't... You're right, Sips. Loads of people have been hooked on Baldur's Gate. Yeah. Just like you, Ozzy's been up playing it all night, Duncan's been playing it all night. It's awesome. Honestly, it's one of the best games I've ever played, but

I think I just played it a bit too much. Yeah, to take a break all right i got a question this is a change of topic but i just i saw this question on reddit and i thought it was pretty funny uh it is if you were living if living in england was a video game what are some of the tips you'd see on the loading screen right and the top one is you're right it's just a greeting, not an actual query. That's the kind of thing. So I'm trying to think of tips that you would give people coming from abroad. I always like, when I go down, I always love talking to Sarah because obviously she lives in, Bristol is a pretty sort of British sort of place, I'd say, in its sort of vibe. It must be quite a culture shock coming from the States to somewhere like Bristol bristol um because it's it's very it's very very bristly if you know what i mean

yeah it's very british yeah she is from boston new new england is the most england of of america isn't it yeah even then no it's not it does not prepare them for the british i think sarah's adapted quite well right but i'd love to know like what are some of the the things that you really noticed I think the biggest thing that she always says said to me when I asked her was the drinking yeah like the amount of drinking and it's not just us because when you go to the pub there's fucking people out every night like it especially the weekends it's a thousand people out drinking in this one sort of area um it's a lot of fucking drinking and after the go after work going to the pub and having a drink with your colleagues is like a perfectly done thing yeah um and i think that's a big cultural thing is drinking i think i think

you use the word drinking as in in the literal meaning but i think a lot of people use that as going to the pub not everyone well okay of people are drinking in the pub, but you don't have to drink. You can have coke. You will not be accepted. You will. If you don't drink, you won't. I think a lot of people go to their after work drinks.

It's a social thing, right? For a lot of people just to unwind. Yeah, but you can't be... The crucial point is British people can't be social without alcohol because we are very uptight and we tend not to talk much. We're not very animated unless we've had a couple of drinks.

That's when we have fun. We have to use alcohol to break down our natural inclination to just hide and not talk and just nod politely and say, you all right? Yeah, fine. Talk about the weather.

There are a lot of people drinking far too much yeah but so if you come to britain and you want to go out with work colleagues and you just say oh i don't drink actually they will never like you they will never fully accept you you've got to at least drink a couple the loading screen tip should for me should be like bring an umbrella that would just be one uh if your hunger bar is going down and it's late at night, don't go to any of the kebab shops. Oh, no, absolutely do go to the kebab shops. But make sure you know which one.

Don't get a pizza in the kebab shop. The next loading tip can be the diarrhea pills that you're looking for are called Imodium. They are available over the counter. What other tips would you give? Try the Greg's sausage roll. Yeah. Try the Greg's vegan sausage roll is actually pog.

I'm giving that, that gets a thumbs up. I mean, when I moved over to the UK from Canada, which is obviously very, um, shares, shares a lot of cultural stuff with,

uh, with the, with the U S yeah. The North American sort of broad culture. It was, there's, it's a lot. It's just such a, in some ways feels very familiar and then in other ways just feels completely alien. And it just, there's so much of it that you just kind of meander your way through it and

get used to it. But I can't think of like specific things. Maybe I've just lived here too long now. You've lived here a long time. Yeah. I mean, when I moved here, I was obviously I was only eight. So the big thing for me was how cold it was. It's damp.

And how wet it was. It's so fucking damp, isn't it? Like it really was. Like now I know I hate it, but I don't really notice it as being anything unusual. But when I remember moving here and just thinking, Jesus Christ. And it felt very grey. Yes. This is the 80s.

This is the early 80s. Everything felt a bit grey and shitty. It's improved a ridiculous amount. Oh, it has. Big time. Even when I came over at the end of the 90s or whatever, there was still a lot of stuff that felt like it was built in the 50s or the 60s and just really run down and shitty but now it's it's they've there's there's been a lot of progress on that front like aesthetically i think a lot of stuff is starting to look a lot better more modern

and that i think they're you know changing a lot of old, getting rid of like a lot of like the older buildings. In Jersey as well, it's the same. There's a lot of old shit over here, but they just seem to be building new stuff, knocking it all down and building new stuff, which I think is pretty good. Because some of that stuff is old, shitty looking. And it's like kind of almost like oppressive, you know,

that it looks, it is very visually offensive. Like you just, some of these old ass buildingsressive you know that it looks it is very visually offensive like he just some of these old ass buildings you know like i don't know they're just they're just crap but then like they'll list some of them you know the really old ones they're like victorian or whatever they have like nice uh nice finishing or you know they they're like heritage they'll they'll sort of keep like the the outside of the building but then build a new building like inside. Yeah. I saw a place in Paddington and the council had demanded that they keep the original frontage because it was quite old.

Yes. So they had all these clever brackets holding up the whole front of a building, but it was only like two bricks wide. Yes. So it was like paper thin compared to the rest. Yeah, yeah. All the buildings around it. And they had it all held up. Yeah.

And then they build this brand new block of flats behind it. And then they just sort of glue them together. It was, it was pretty nuts. Yeah. They do that a lot over here because there are quite a few old buildings that do look nice and they want to sort of preserve that, um, you know, like the heritage elements of it all. So, so, so things will just, you know, the front of the building will be protected and listed. I'm all for it! I think the front of buildings, especially older buildings,

were much nicer than the bland shit we've got now. Yeah, I don't know why they can't- they don't want to- it must cost a lot to keep the old, but like, even like new buildings, I don't know why they don't just do a bit extra and make them look- Because they're lazy cunts and they're greedy bastards. Yeah, that's true. On the one hand, I totally agree. And it's so important for these local kind of areas to all look the same and fit into the road and look cool, right? And on the other hand, the busybodies who organise it and flip in, you know, send the angry emails around to tidy up your garden or, you know or you can't have your things painted the right cut the wrong colors you know oh it's it's the classic two-pronged english thing right you

have to fit in but also um there's always going to be a local hitler who's gonna fucking be sending you angry emails and bothering you and you know about the most trivial shit that you don't care about yeah yeah it's it's it's traditional it's the way it is get used to it well there you go that's enough that's enough i have one more thing i just want people can write into the mailbag about this as well if they want queuing in pubs very quickly there is a twitter account i follow that's basically like queues at pubs this has become a thing if you are a part of this let me know why the fuck you're doing it what was wrong with the old system why did it catch on people forming a line like they're at the post office in a pub the way you do it is you go up to the bar you don't form a line and you catch the eye of the

bartender right and the bartender or the bar staff should know who was here first and blah blah blah that's part of their job believe me they know what they're doing they're perfectly capable of doing that you do not form a fucking line if i see it in bristol i'm breaking it up right okay we're gonna get right in there no disperse please everybody disperse this is never get served at a bar because i apparently can't catch the eye of the people or i'm not not aggressive enough i am all for queuing let's be honest. You don't have a problem because you're gigantic, P-Flax. You lean over, you hunch over. I think British people love to queue as well. I've been places in Britain before where there's nothing to queue for,

but if enough people are standing in a line, other people will just join them naturally. I think it's hard-coded into the national psyche or something. I think they just join them naturally. It's like, I think it's like hard-coded into like the national psyche or something. Like, I think they just love to queue. Sometimes I've been to the bar and I've been there for 10 minutes and watching people get served left or right of me. And I've said like, hey, I've even like started and that's me being more, you know, after a few drinks, you know, actually being not even not shirty, but like almost like being like tisking or like rolling my eyes when someone gets served next to me when it was clearly my turn uh but man like i hate it i bring on the queues no fuck the queues it's ridiculous pubs aren't built for it look at the bar why don't they you make the queue at the bar and people

lose their politeness as well because with the number like because they've been passed over here's here's the thing it's a test of human character you wait at the bar and if you know you weren't first but whereabouts you should say served there's like not dedicated areas and sometimes you just happen to be in a void zone where no one is doing the serving obviously you have to like keep an eye on the bar stuff and see which is their like area that they keep going back to right because each bar stuff has like a specific bit of counter no they are returning to they don't walk up and down the bar they don't do it equally you're wrong you're wrong one thing that happens is if you hold money above your head

in your hand you know that's rude and if you fold the money like half of a paper airplane almost you know and you hold it with two fingers up above your head as well and if you if you just sort of use french terms like if you say garçon garçon yeah and if you snap your fingers at the bathtub do that they love they love that final update before you a final update i had a parking a penalty charge notice issued on my vehicle at the start of the month uh sorry at the start of last month i appealed it and i was successful the system works i didn't have to pay the 35 pounds or whatever last time i got one i appealed it and they wrote back to me and they said um no sorry um it stands but with no there was no they didn't go into it at all like they

there was no like defense or whatever they're're like, you have to pay it. And if it's not paid in three days, you're in big trouble. I spoke to a parking tenant the other day and she told me that she gets a bonus for each ticket she gives. Yeah, that's crazy. So that's why she hangs around waiting for the car that she knows is going to expire in like two minutes. Yeah. The thing with the- Because she gave the ticket to my cleaner

yeah um you don't want to give tickets if you're you you just you'd be one of those low-key park tenants who walks around not giving tickets thinking i get paid anyway but you have to incentivize why do you always see them in car parks like i get why you always see them in car parks but at least at least if your car is parked in a car park, that's what it's for. They should be ticketing these fucking assholes that park up on the yellow line and stuff. And they hold up traffic and stuff. But you never see them anywhere near where this is happening. Like, I've been stuck in massive, massive, massive traffic queues because somebody's just decided they're going to park up, block a whole side of the road just to run in

and get milk or whatever from the store where's the where's the tenant when that happens why are they walking around a car park like at least those cars are parked up and out of the way you know like that's time for citizens justice yeah it's crazy we live in a society yeah you should get like sort of fake fake penalty notice yeah and stick it on there i just have a few of them that one always gets me. I always wonder like, cause you're in there and you see them and there's like two or three of them and like, yeah, the car park's big and yeah, you should get a ticket if you're not paying to be there.

But surely the priority should be keeping the traffic flowing on the roads and stuff. You know what I mean? Like, don't just, don't just park up like yourself as a, as a parking tenant or whatever. Don't just park up yourself as a parking tenant or whatever. Don't just park up in a car park. Go out and ticket all those other guys that are just pulling over and blocking the roads and stuff. That's the problem. It's not like the person who's forgotten to pay to use a car park, in my opinion. How do you track that?

You need an app. You need a little segue. Just go around on a segue. Just go, just segue around everywhere and try to find these, these culprits. I read this thing where in America, if someone's parked up in a really, like on the, on across the pavement or something, you can sometimes call local tow companies and they come and just tow that person. Yeah.

And then take pictures when they're doing it. And then they're sort of safe from the police or whatever. Or people that park in the little bus pull-ins as well. You ever see that? You know, like- Oh, I hate that. Yeah. And somebody's just parked in there, but they put their hazards on.

It's like, that doesn't help. You're still in the way. And now the bus can't pull in to where it needs to go. And now everybody has to wait for you because you, you are the main character out on the road today. Nobody got the memo that you were going to leave your house today. And you just, they just treat it like they're the only fucking person in the world.

It's insane to me that people. Oh, by the way, the reason it was canceled, even though apparently according to this letter, I was in the wrong, but the guy that took the picture didn't take a picture of my car. He took a picture of something else.

So... Nice! What do you mean? I mean, he just fucked up the picture. He just took a picture of a building. So unfortunately, they can't prove that my car was there illegally. Yes, I park my building there every day.

Your building is on there doesn't have a permit sir but yeah so that's why i mean they were gonna bill me but then they checked and they're like oh shit the photo is fucked so i'm i'm good so you got off on a technicality i did on a literal piece of like a piece of incompetence on the park part of the officer the enforcement officer gets me off scot-free. Go for it. The appeal is free. Parking enforcers and attendants out there, write in. Expand my mind on this, because my view of you is not great at the moment.

But I'm down for context. They're nice enough. It's a job, isn't it? It's a job, isn't it? Well, we've got to stop. Next week, we're going to be doing Pickaxe Podcast Week live. Oh, yeah. So, we'll do a live podcast. So, actually, when this goes out, the next day will be our live show.

So, there'll be two in one week. It's a doubleheader. We'll probably put the live one out on this feed. I hope we have enough to talk about. A week after that. It's going to be awkward. We've got a week to figure it out. It's just this, but live.

Oh, my God. Can you imagine? Well, I think we'll do a mailbag. Oh, that'll be fun. Remember that time we did the podcast on stage in front of people? Yeah, I don't even remember what we talked about. Yodcon? No, I don't remember either. No, well, it's probably something like this. Probably talked about Bristol Art Museum

and fucking, you know, Wales. I don't know. Whatever we talked about today. I've forgotten what we did literally today. Welsh nationalism, goths, how hard it is to meet women, um... Goths, yes. Queuing at the pub. Yeah, queuing at the pub. Lewis's new fashion look.

Tips for being British on a loading screen for a video game. Exactly. We covered it all. Plenty of stuff. Alright, thanks everyone. Goodbye. Bye!