Triforce! - Triforce! #268: Cows and Bungas, my Dude

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Triforce! Episode 268! Sips wants to go to some night classes for basic DIY, Flax still doesn't know why he hosts TI and we heard some particularly frustrating slang on TV recently. It's giving anger. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everyone, welcome back to a lovely brand new Triforce podcast here in the middle of October with your lovely friends Sips, Peering Flax and I. It's so nice to be here and share with you all the mundane garbage that we've been up to this week. And boy, have we been up to a lot of it. Lean back in your chairs right now or rest your head on a comfortable pillow. Get that rocking chair rocking because we've got nothing to say. And you get to listen to it for an hour. Enjoy you for listening oh oh no sorry that was if we got nothing to say we could just stop early yeah we can we can go for the shortest podcast we've ever done what i wonder

the people collect stats on the podcast all the time i wonder which episode um is the shortest of all episodes there's got to be one that was like half an hour long because Lewis had to go to an appointment or something. No, we've never done a half hour. I think we've definitely done sub hour, but I don't think we've ever done one that was half an hour. It is hard to consistently fill a whole hour with such sparkling content. Yeah. With such exh commentary yeah banter

yes yeah i've been watching a lot of videos on youtube and uh yes and after your recommendations they they're all cropping up now for me the ones you recommended which ones i'm not sure i love any of them particularly you like like man and boy go camping oh Oh, those were very sweet. Yeah, it's nice to see the techniques. Baseball. Yeah, I didn't think that would be for you. John Boy Media and all that. Yes. And other man goes outside and picks up litter, picks up stuff.

Beau Miles is very good. He's interesting, actually. I did watch a few of his. Well, I've got another one for you. This is an American comedian called Joe Pera. P-E-R-A. He's a New Yorker, he's from upstate New York, but his style is kind of grandfatherly, it's been described.

So, he's a youngish guy, but he sort of pretends, well not pretends, but his persona that he puts on for the act is a very slow speaking, very gentle grandpa type figure. He has a special on YouTube. It's on his channel on YouTube. It's about 55 minutes long and it's one of the funniest standup specials I've seen in recent times. It's brilliant. He's very much an alternative comedian.

It's like a character. It's brilliant. He's absolutely brilliant. He's done a few things on adult swim but i think he deserves to be huge because he's genuinely original and funny like a like a neil hamburger type like a like a a comedian playing a character comedian doing stand-up comedy sort of thing yeah i guess i mean it's it's much more it's very very clever um and he's excellent he does he does audience interaction stuff as well.

And you can see he's almost breaking character because it's very funny. But he's just superb. It almost feels awkward, but it's very, very, very well done and controlled. And he's basically got the audience in the palm of his hand. When you see a comedian able to manipulate the audience

that way, it's almost like magic. So it's really, really well worth watching. But one of the other channels I think I may have recommended is called Townsendz. I think I recall you mentioning that, yeah. It's not a low key channel. They've got like 3 million subs or whatever. And they do 18th century cooking. There is a video that they put out that is just Joe Pera on their show.

He did like multiple appearances on the Townsend channel making a stool or making a pie with Joe Pera. And it's really funny and sweet and very gentle and honestly, very charming. So I would recommend it. His special is also very, very funny. You think it's just going to be gentle grandfatherly stuff, but then he'll veer out into other things. It's brilliant so that that would be my recommendation for the week but for youtube thank you so much well i also have a tv show if you want a tv show okay let's do they're doing this then are we okay oh geez you said we have nothing to talk about we don't have anything to talk about we haven't all right we have nothing

to talk about so uh the other thing i've been watching is called station 11 station which is tickets on paramount we're watching it on prime it's a post-apocalyptic um tv show essentially based after a terrible flu that has a 99 mortality rate um it was made in 2014 it was written in 2014 sorry and then adapted so it this was a pre-covid flu pandemic story. It is like no show I've seen in recent times. I think Mrs. F and I are watching it. It's very, very dense and layered. And I think Mrs. F and I agree that the closest you could come to explaining what it's like

is like Margaret Atwood style of almost fantasy sort of post-apocalyptic. It's really quite strange in parts, but brilliant, but brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And we haven't finished it yet. We're about eight episodes in. It's fantastic.

I recommend it. It's not a casual watch. You don't just chuck it on and do the ironing. You need to be paying attention. It's multi-layered. It's a superb show. One of the best shows I've seen in a while, so I recommend it.

Yeah, Sarah recommended it to me, and I got bored about five episodes in. Well, it's not for everyone. I haven't watched it, but I do like my... I do like me a post-apocalyptic setting for a show to take place in, it's like one of my favorite themes. Yeah. It's definitely weird, like, favorite themes yeah it's definitely weird like it's because it's sort of set with this sort of traveling shakespearean company yeah do you mean that's why it's like it's a bit there's these things are a bit off about it right yeah um so

they they literally it's cool we see people from before and we see people after i would describe it as a post-apocalyptic story where the post-apocalyptic element is the gentlest in some ways compared to something like The Walking Dead or The Road, which is just brutality constantly, misery. This is kind of different. It's almost like a background thing rather than the foreground. Looks like we're at a canned peaches, Tom. Well, we have to go down to Zombie Town and get some more.

It's not like that. It's not a procedural, how would you survive the apocalypse? It's more like, what would humanity look like? I saw an ad for one on, I think it's on Film 4, of all places. But it's, you know the woman who plays the wife of Frank Underwood in House of Cards? Yes. It's her, she's directed it. I think it's a series, but it looks like she's like just moving out into the wilderness.

I can't, I think it's called Land. That's Robin Wright. Robin Wright. That's it. Yeah, she's excellent. Yeah, she's very good. And from what I can tell, it's about a woman who just moves out into the middle of nowhere. I mean, I don't know much more about it, but it looked interesting in that, you know, it

looked like maybe it was like a Western or something, but it's not. It looks like it takes place like, you know, like up in the pines somewhere or something. Is it Devil's Peak? No. It's called Land. i think it's called land it obviously piques your interest yeah yeah this is very um dude sim alaska yes that's what i got i got big dude sim vibes from it when i saw the ad for it but it's one of those i don't know like it's on film there's a bunch of those isn't there there? Of single person living in Alaska.

Yeah, I'd be down for watching a sort of, you know, for me it doesn't have to be action packed, you know? I'd be happy watching somebody just meandering through survival, sort of thing, you know? Yeah, I mean, that's what that dude, the Country Dudes or whatever, that video channel I recommend, Wilderness Boys. That's literally what he does. That is in Alaska. He's literally in Alaskaaska just in a sense like these youtube channels are delivering the kind

of content that we expect more i think the thing the problem with movies often is that the ben ben said this to me this week because he went to see this new sci-fi movie oh the ai one it's called the creator he said he said i almost walked out oh no it was like he never normally would do that ben is not that kind of person i i from what i know of ben i don't think he would do would normally do that i don't know i think the problem is it's like he was going in expecting because it's all advertised from the creator of rogue one yeah director director of rogue one right and i like I like, I like John David Washington. He's excellent.

And yeah, like apparently he just, it really wasn't what he expected. And as a result, we didn't get on with it. I think a lot of movies are like that too, right? You don't quite know what to expect.

And so it's sometimes like, I think it's the reason why things that are, things like these shows, like The Apprentice are so popular. It's because you kind of know what you're going to get there within the formula. So they stick to that thing so i watched the fall of the house of usher uh it's on netflix it's like their new uh haunting of hill house type show right right um and it's haunting of blind manor as well and a few other there's like a

bunch of ones the same guy has done recently and is, the whole idea is that there's this, well, even talking to you about it would spoil it. I guess the opening scene is not really a spoiler, is it? The opening scene is that this patriarchal family is at the funeral of three of his kids, you know. And so, you're like, oh, you know, how do they die? And then episode by episode, you find out how each one of each member of the family dies. And so it's like a Halloween thing for Netflix. And it's honestly really good. I really enjoyed it.

I watched the whole thing in like one day. And yeah, I just, I liked it. It's like Edgar Allan Poe themed. It's quite dark. It's quite fun. It doesn't take itself so seriously. But of course, it's ludicrous, you know, in places. Some of the things that happen are very supernatural themed, you know, like a lot of these Haunting of Hill House. They have got some supernatural element, which means that physics defying

stuff happens. Right. So wait, the creator isn't good? I'm very disappointed. I was really looking forward to that. Well, Ben almost walked out on it,

so. Yeah. Oh, sorry, yeah, the creator of the movie, the creator, not the creator of

All House Buster. Not he, not with a capital H, not the creator. Ben didn't like it. I mean, it's got okay reviews. I don't think

this should be a podcast about where we should talk about movies that we haven't seen. Well, every once in a while you kind of have to have one of these though, right? Okay, okay reviews i don't think this should be a podcast about we should talk about movies every once in a while you kind of have to have one of these though right like okay that's true you like we watch we do consume a lot of media between the three of us and sometimes it's good to just meet up and discuss these medias that are being consumed right maybe i think the mailbag doing the mailbag has given us such direction on the podcast that we've forgotten how to do-

How to do a normal- No, we haven't. No, we just talk. We're just talking. This is what it was for seven years. I think you're overanalyzing it. That's true. I think you're-

Calm the fuck down. Just calm down. Jeez. I'm overreacting. Sorry. Man, oh man. So I don't know if you guys can hear, I've kind of lost my voice a little bit. Just ahead of your big trip as well. What are you going to do? I know. i don't know if you guys can hear i've kind of lost my voice a little bit just just ahead of your big trip as well what are you gonna do i don't know you're gonna be like

croaking and everything i know i'm going out on tuesday um so i haven't got long uh my eldest has the same thing where she's just kind of lost her voice but i feel too it'll probably clear up by then i mean i hope so i mean i took a covid test we're clear're clear on the vid test. You don't sound any different. Well, I do in person. Maybe it's not coming across, but it's a little croaky. Are you all bunged up? A little bit bunged up. You're croaking it up now. You're putting the croak on. No, it's like, if I talk really loudly, my voice breaks a little bit. And if I'm talking at a

normal volume, it kind of just croaks occasionally. Like, it's got a vocal fry element to it. My eldest yesterday, they had, I don't know what the fuck this is. We never used to have this at school. It's called Dropdown Day. Do you guys know what a Dropdown Day is? No, I've never heard of that. So this is, as far as I'm concerned, this is a new innovation in schooling.

But here's what it is. The whole day is dedicated to one thing and it's not sitting in a classroom doing lessons it'll be something different so my eldest she's in year um nine or ten ten uh something like that anyway uh her drop down day involved uh a guy came in a fair fair play to this lad seven hours he's teaching these kids how to do speeches, how to give speeches. Oh my God. You had to go away and write your speech and then deliver it to the rest of the kids. And he would give you tips and tricks and all the rest of it.

I'm assuming he didn't give them the just imagine everyone else is naked trick. Because he's a man in a girl's school. That ain't going to go down well. But I know that that is typically meant to be one of the tips. You don't need that. You don't need that. Honestly, that's a stupid, old-fashioned trick. I thought that was a stupid idea anyway. I don't think that's

on the official speech-writing syllabus. Right, but it's like one of those pieces of pat wisdom that people hand around. I don't even know where it came from. I would love to have this little rapid course on stuff. Yeah! I wish I could really do with going back to school for a couple of things.

You can go. Whenever you want. It's all there. It's at your fingertips. It would be a bit weird if I turned up at my wife's daughter's school. There's lots of older people going taking night classes and stuff like that. Look at Stringer Bell. Nobody thought it was weird when he was learning his business.

He did a business course, yeah. I actually took an evening course, this would have been about 16 years ago now, at Richmond Adult College, which is oddly enough, they've got a building in Twickenham. And I went there to do a course in writing for journalism, because I was doing some film review stuff at the time, if you remember, I did film reviews and things for a little bit for a website. And I thought, I want to get better at this, and maybe I could learn how to write properly. We went to the course, we were there for two weeks, and then they shut the course down. It was like 10 of us.

You were that bad. No, it was- You're unteachable. People pulled out. They were sat there and they did the course twice and then they decided, I don't want to do this anymore. And they left. Yeah.

And there was, it was an odd mix. Well, this is routinely what happens. I remember like, oh, anyone who's done this, like any language classes will know this as well, where you like, you start off in it and there's like 12 people. And then, you know, by the end of the first year, there's six, you know, and then, so you go through advanced class. Man, it's like that with and then you know by the end of the first year there's six you know and then so you go to the advanced class and that's everything though like in the new year lucky usually like yeah well the the big one is people going to the gym in the new year you know like new year's resolutions and stuff but especially with kids we we find like because

we still we still have a a young baby who we take to like you know play groups or or whatever because it's good for them like i mean she gets a lot of socializing anyway because she's got older siblings but it's still nice for her to be around kids her age and learning how to interact with them and all that kind of stuff and uh it's the same thing the first one it's like packed tons of people and then these they usually go on like during term time right so it's a couple of weeks like it's like you know six six to eight weeks or whatever and then by the end of it there's like nobody you're like last man standing like people just drop off all the time they think that it's going to be this new thing that they're going to

do and then very quickly they realize ah i don't actually want to do this at all like this is not becoming part of my routine i'm i'm out well i found it a real shame because um it wasn't a bad course i was enjoying it the the interesting thing to me was the other people on the course like um at school you just turn up and everyone's in the same boat you just have to be there but understanding why people have volunteered or paid to come to something was really interesting and you you had a couple of people there who were just like, I don't know, I just want to give it a go. There were a couple of people who were like, I want to try and get onto a journalism course. And I just wanted to see if I'd be any good at it, stuff like that. I said that it was because I was writing reviews for this website and I wanted to try and improve. And then there was this one guy, he wore a suit to the class.

Everyone else just wore casual gear because it was like eight, nine o'clock at night, but he just wore a suit. And he worked for a legal firm or something like that. And they asked him, the teacher asked what he was doing the journalism course for. And he said, oh, well, I keep a journal and I want to improve the writing quality of the journal. And they were like, okay. I mean, I don't know if he thought that journalism was about writing journals journaling i think so yes but he was literally writing

journaling a journal and they said oh who's the journal for you're going to publish you'll put it online he goes no it's just for me and they were like what's it about he goes oh well everybody's wrong about everything these days so i just keep a journal of my thoughts to make sure that i'm correct and clear so it was almost like he was writing some kind of manifesto of modern society. And I was fascinated by this lad. I wanted to hear more from him and see what he wrote. And I remember we had to do homework one time and bring it in. This was the second week. And then the third week, no one turned up and I got a phone call. But the second week, his journal for that week was like things that he'd seen on television that week that were wrong.

Oh my goodness, like the Triforce podcast. It was unbelievable. It was like a precursor to this podcast. I was watching The Apprentice with Alan Sugar, and a shocking lack of insight from Nick this week. This is just so funny. Oh my, come on, man. Nick hasn't been on the show for so long. You know what? I'm sorry. This was 16 years years ago so it should have been yeah i know um man i think i'm done with the apprentice like i'm if it comes back i'm just not watching it that's a lie i'm boycotting you're gonna watch it no way oh yeah you will no way i think i am done i think these

classes are a good way to meet people with similar interests. Like, everyone I know who's done them, it does end up hanging out with them afterwards and making some friends. Yeah, there's that aspect to it as well. I always thought I would love to take, you know, like at some point, like, probably not now, but like, at some point in the future, I would love to take a night course on like, woodworking, or like, you know, like carpentry, or something like that i'd love to learn how to do some of that stuff um and and do it better as well you know so i could just do like a couple little odd jobs but not feel like i don't know if you feel like this uh flax

or well maybe even you lewis but like anytime i i try like i have an idea to do something but i just can't i i don't possess the tools to make it, you know? And then if I try to make it, like, say, like, I want to make, like, I don't know, like, put a shelf up or something. You know, like, in my mind, I'm like, oh, yeah, it should be really easy. But then I talk myself out of it all the time. Like, oh, what if I need to find one of those things so I can see where the stud is?

I need to find one of the things that can detect wires. I don't want to electrocute myself, you know what I mean? And then by the time I've gone through all that, I've just like talked myself out of it. So you want a tip for the studs? This is- I did a DIY stream earlier this year. Oh, what, you- make sure you're giving him a tip about that specific job. Yeah. He listed it as one of the ones that was putting them off. It was just an example job, but sure, yeah.

Right, so you can just get like a fridge, but sure, yeah. So you can just get a fridge magnet, a fairly strong fridge magnet, and just pass it over the wall and wear it. It'll literally stick to the stud. So you'll be able to find the beam and just avoid it that way. That worked for me when I did my eldest, we redid a room and I had to build all the furniture. It was all Ikea furniture. It took me like a week and a half. It was a lot. Like a big, big wardrobe with sliding doors, two side shelving units,

bed, desk, and drawers for all the things. Was the desk integrated into the bed? Is it one of those? No, no, it wasn't. It wasn't. She didn't want one of those. She just wanted- But it's a nice desk. She wanted a separate bed and a separate desk? Yeah. Something that could fit a decent sized computer on. Right. Because that's what she's angling for, for Crimbo. It's a proper computer. And I promised her that if she's really good, she'll get that.

And she's been pretty good. So we're thinking about that. She's a gamer. She needs a proper PC. She doesn't need a fucking laptop. She wants... Right. Yeah.

I don't know. There's some really good gaming laptops out there. There are. I mean, I got a decent one for when I'm away for work and stuff like that and uh it's good but um it doesn't compare to the desktop you know and she's noticing some frame issues on games when she plays online especially but anyway the piece of diy that i have to attempt fairly soon probably this weekend is removing the door in the living room and planing the bottom of the door off because it's catching on the floor and in the you know they buckle and bow even just a millimeter it'll throw it out of whack so the door sticks when you close it um so luckily it could be just weakness on the hinges though it

could be like not so i've checked the hinges the hinges are fine it's it's it's the floor it's the door yeah plainly a couple of millimeters That's what I've got to do. Plane it a couple of millimeters. Yeah, just art. But a viewer of mine is a carpenter. Bish bash bosh. I would, again, have no idea how to get started on that. So here's the thing. You think it's going to be hard, and you think this is going to be impossible.

For instance, YouTube has a guide, and a guide's showing you how to do every step. All the IKEA furniture I built, there's a video for each guy showing you how to do every step. All the IKEA furniture I built, there's a video for each part, how to build it, some tips, every single thing. There are guides for every DIY thing you could possibly hope to do. And they'll sometimes say, this is really hard. So unless you're very confident, don't do it, get someone in. But the planing the door off, this guy, one of my viewers, shout out to elliot he sent me this big how-to with diagrams and everything about how to take the door off and and propping it up on a crowbar when you lift it up so you can do it one man how to plane it um what direction i'm not even confident like

hammering a nail in because i assume like water will come spraying do you know what i mean like literally the lowest fucking thing i'm not even gonna do that right yeah i'm terrified for it like um i i for instance we had uh we have a kitchen unit i'm sure you guys have the same thing where it's like the sink is like some big slab of ceramic and whatever uh with the sort of draining board and the sink all is one thing you know yeah and they sort of you fit that into the kitchen countertop we've got like granite work surfaces in the kitchen, so it's very hard to get around behind the sink. There's like no movement, because there's a dishwasher there, and so in order to-

You got a big dishwasher or is it a slimline? No, no, it's like a slimline, it's like slides in. Yeah. So it's a decent size, you know, but it fits into the thing. You got a family. Yeah, we got a family. We got a slimline dishwasher. We need a big one, like- You need it fits into the thing. You've got a family. Yeah, we've got a family. We've got a slimline dishwasher.

We need a big one. You need a big one. Oh my god. Full size. If we have a meal, it's like two dishwasher loads. It's insane. Oh no no no. We can put like three meals worth in there.

Fuck. And I will use one mug all day. Oh, see. I'll use one glass all day. Ah, yeah, I had to do that. The rest of them? The rest of them? It's a fresh glass every fucking time just watch the

one you've got what i do with mugs i make the big mistake i don't rinse my mug after i've used it so then i just get that ring of congealed dried up tea at the bottom of it and it's really gross so then i switch mugs but if i was if i was a bit more on top of it and i rinsed out my mug in between teas i would just use the same mug all day as well yeah but i mean so my my uh footprint on the dishwasher is minimal but mrs f and the kids i mean jesus christ is your dishwasher have uh wi-fi like can you can you can you use your phone to to to make it go like when you're no out of the house or whatever i'm i live with it or time to send it a signal i could just get out and push a button why do i need a wi-. I don't need to send it a signal. I can just get out and push a button. Why do I need a Wi-Fi?

I don't know. It's just kind of fun sometimes. I don't know how that would ever be necessary. No. So would you join a class to learn this stuff, Sips? Would you join a handyman? I would even not just for hard skills, but just to sort of get over the mental hurdles. like hard skills, but just to sort of get over the mental hurdles, you know, like, I feel like if I went to a class like this and he was, and the, and the guy was like, okay, today we're

going to make this, or today we're going to practice doing this. You know, it would just be like, if I did it, I would be, I would, I would talk myself out of it less. You know what I mean? I, when it, when it came to it, I'd be like, oh yeah, I can do that. I know how to do that now. I've done this or whatever, you know, like, I feel like it's, I would go for that reason, but I feel like it would unlock a whole new world for me, you know? Like there's a whole new world of DIY just waiting behind that door, but I'm just too scared to take a step into that. So suddenly you'll be having ideas. It'll give you ideas. It's like, oh yeah, let's- Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I'm so close, but like, it's like oh yeah let's yeah you know what i mean like i'm i'm so close but

like it's just something holding me back i think you're right like i think there's a bunch of things like one is that you know we're all over 40 so it feels like we should know better yeah two it feels like why do you need a class you could just watch youtube three it's like expensive four it's like you have to go and see other people. I like a class though. I like to be around people. Don't get me wrong, it's handy to watch YouTube and stuff, but if I had an opportunity to go somewhere with people and I could speak to somebody about it, I would opt for that every time. I don't know, it just seems a bit more... I think I'd get more out of it, you know? The YouTube video, like I find sometimes with YouTube videos, you watch it and they just make it look too easy,

you know? And you're sort of like, oh shit, it's just as easy as that. And then when you go to do it, it's nothing like what they've done. I don't know. Yes. I got asked to like a still life drawing class and I was like, I don't think this is something I want to do. Like, proper nude woman there as well.

Oh my God god are you sweating no i didn't go i didn't go i was like i backed out did you do like the cartoon thing where you're like oh god like your eyes like come out of your head and stuff but it would have been a good story i should have i should do this stuff really i don't know why you don't i should challenge myself i feel bad for i feel like i would do way more of this stuff if I didn't have three kids. You meet people who do this stuff, right? And are those outgoing, brave people. I guess it's not that brave to take a fucking class. No, it's not. It's whatever.

I don't know. It feels like a hurdle that I wouldn't necessarily normally be able to overcome. The other thing I would say is how incestuous they are. Like, I remember my partner used to go to this class and there was a couple of them dating and then they broke up and started dating- So, it was like a little episode of EastEnders, like- It was like a little group of friends. Yeah, it was like the Friends, the TV show, very misnamed because they're all fucking sleeping with each other. Yeah, well, I mean, Friends were as well. It was just presented a lot nicer.

But, like, I mean, Chandler and Monica were at it. Remember Ross and Rachel? Oh, yeah, that's the point. Yeah. And what's-her-face? I don't think that was the intention. I think Chandler got cancelled, so I don't think anyone wants to fuck him now. I can't remember what he got cancelled.

Didn't he write a book and he had like some very hot takes on certain people or something i i it was something like that i know he was really sick um with like drugs and he had some kind of health problems related to that as well right no i don't think he got cancelled i would have heard um well he's got a mailing list light cancel light canceled i guess it's there's different tiers of being canceled yeah isn't there there is this reminds me of like i always assume like someone like that like david dukovny being a sex addict that was his problem he was like he was addicted i can't stop fucking women i've never understood i don't know if sex addiction is a real thing it is apparently right but there's 8 billion people on the planet.

Aren't we just, as a species, addicted to sex? Is there really a claim that you can make? We do have sex a lot. That you have more into having sex with hot people than other people? Well, I think his problem is he was cheating a lot. Basically, every time he had a girlfriend, he would cheat on her. You can't claim sex addiction that's just called you haven't found the right person

and instead some other hottie comes and you're like I need a piece of that ass and you just jump on it like it's not like you're saying I can't help it I'm a sex addict that's bullshit he was admitted to rehab for sex addiction he was so addicted to sex

so well like what kind of things do they say at sex rehab, like, when you come in? Like, are you allowed to jerk off, or...? What are the ten steps? So here you go, this is from Wikipedia. According to proponents of the concept- that's a bad opening sentence for Wikipedia, you're onto a loser if you're trying to claim this is a real thing. Sexual addiction, also known as sex addiction, is a state characterized by compulsive participation

or engagement in sexual activity, particularly sexual intercourse, despite negative consequences. The concept is contentious. Neither of the two major mainstream medical organizations categorization systems recognize it as a real medical condition, instead categorising such behaviour under labels such as compulsive sexual behaviour. There is considerable debate among psychiatrists, psychologists, and sexologists." Oh, baby, that's a profession. What, sexologist?

Sexology. Sexology. I'm a sexologist. You could get- yeah, he runs a class you can go to. So this is not this is not a- yeah, I'm taking an evening class in sexology. It's just a class with one person in it, it's just me. So yeah, some people are saying this is bullshit. Come and join. Yeah, join in. I didn't go to the class, I just watch a lot of videos instead.

Either way, I think- obviously I'm sure some viewers out there will claim that they're suffering from sex addiction or that it's a real thing. I think porn addiction is a thing, for sure. I think there's probably a lot of people out there that are suffering from sex deprivement. That's probably true. It's not so much, they probably feel like they are addicted to it, but they don't have an outlet for their addiction, you know? I think it's bad habits a bad habit like watching too much porn for example or like compulsively that can be an issue too that's a bad habit oh absolutely yeah but i'm saying that i i don't think you could point to oh it's this

i have a specific addiction to this that's a bad habit be like if you drink too much coffee you wouldn't say i'm a cat I'm suffering from caffeine addiction. I'm in recovery. You can get addicted to caffeine, though. Yes, absolutely. But the point is, it's a bad habit that you need to get out of. We don't need a fucking special label,

I'm a sex addict. No, you're just a piece of shit who's living a bad lifestyle and pissing people off. Deal with that. You don't go to fucking rehab. Give me a break. A lot of people get dependent on,

chemically dependent on stuff, though, right? Like nicotine is the classic, obviously. And people do get, you know, I mean, alcohol, I'm sure coffee's the same and any drugs really that actually give you, change your brain chemistry. And I think the same thing with things like porn, like the way it makes you feel, you know, it does obviously give you like the endorphins or whatever it is that, you know, those chemicals that make you feel good. And I think you can get addicted to that if anything makes you feel good. I'm sure people get addicted to things that are bad for them all the time. But it's, I guess it's more if it's hurting your life and you're aware that it's hurting your life, but you can't stop it you know you're like i want to stop washing so much but i can't i just can't stop yeah yeah i think that's that's when it becomes like i'm just very wary like an addiction i'm very wary of things that hollywood and hollywood doctors

have invented and i'm pretty convinced that this whole sex addiction thing is a way to basically cop out go to rehab and wash your uh your sins away which is the very hollywood way i cheated on you i'm sex yeah sex addict do you think david dukovny has admitted himself multiple times for his sex addiction yeah do you think it becomes sort of like ah david at it again eh just can't Just can't stop fucking everybody. If you're going through a moment of fame, like Duchovny was, he was never that big, let's be honest. He had a TV show. He was one character in Zoolander. He was very well known at the peak of X-Files.

Yeah, it was a big show. But you're going back some years now. What's he done since? But essentially, if you're David Duchovny- He was in Californication, wasn't he? Which was a fairly big show. Right, exactly. This guy's not an A-lister. He never was an A-lister. He played like a sex addict in that, didn't he? In Californication. Yeah, he barely had to act. So, a lot of the time, yeah, I was talking to Harry about this and he was taking his

little dog to a dog training class, right? Right. Training, because he's got Pepper who's this adorable, that little sausage dog thing. She's gorgeous. Yeah, do not deep fry that dog. Don't do it. It's so gorgeous. Anyway, they were taking her to this class and they were so... They went

to this class and the teacher said like, stop coming to this class because we've trained your dog everything. We cannot teach you anymore. It's like one of the only times I've ever heard them say, stop coming. Yeah, you don't need this. Well, Pepper's's amazing i don't know if you've seen the video that harry did where he was uh showing off all her skills um she can do it's harry's partner who's done almost all the training yes i believe so but this this dog is talented it can do everything i know it's it's honestly amazing like it's it's not even like pepper's not even very old and can already do like when he goes bang she bang, she falls over and pretends she's been shot. She just does all these little tricks, and you're just like, I can't believe my dog can't

do shit. Aggie can't do shit. Your dog can't shit, though. She shits. She shat on the fucking sofa the other night. So, yeah, we're well aware of that. Oh, my God, man. Really?

She's kind of a dingus. Yeah. Fuck. It happens. Like a runny one? No, no, no. Just like a poop. Kind of a dingus.

Yeah. Fuck. It happens. Like a runny one? No, no, no. Just like a poop. But it was like, so the problem is dogs are very much built around routine. They love routine. They really do.

Probably more than, much more than people do. You know, people kind of feel like, oh, I'm stuck in a rut. The more in a rut a dog is, the happier they are. They love routine. They want you to come downstairs at the same time every morning. They want to come downstairs at the same time every morning. They want to be fed at the same time every day. They want to go for a walk

at the same time every day. Aggie's routine, sorry, is very straightforward. During the day, Mrs. F or the kids come down in the morning. She's very happy to see them. They let her out straight away

to use the toilet. She comes back in. We feed her. About an hour after that, she'll want to go out again because she's been fed. Then she goes for a walk. Then she sleeps either downstairs or upstairs next to Mrsrs f if mrs f is working up here she

sleeps next to her on our bed she chills then about six o'clock we all go downstairs and watch tv and hang out she sits with us on the sofa when i go upstairs to work in the evening she moves over to my spot stays there if i she has a couple of games to do it too she plays a couple games of doge feeds terribly it's real it's a real shame. But basically, that's her daily routine. Now, if you change that routine, she gets a little bit flustered and sort of doesn't really know what she's meant to be and sort of looks sad. And it's just that they love routine way, way, way more than you would expect.

Do you still play Dota every night? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my God, man. It's his day job. I know, I know, I know, I know. He has to keep shop. I wish I had that staying power with like a game. Like the amount of Dota that you've consistently played

for as long as I've known you. Yeah. Like I can't stick to a game like that. Well, but if you had to go to the world tournament and host a fucking... I would go, but i would just wing it like i would just still wouldn't play the game that much yeah but the dread the dread makes you kind of think oh god i suppose yeah you worry about this all the time pfx you always say to me

i i'm a i'm an idiot at dota why are they even inviting me i have no knowledge you know i think you have i think you have knowledge of the clearly but he doesn't watch all the pro games and like super keep up with the pro strats and stuff he's obviously not like an analyst or anything like close to exactly a pro but he doesn't need to be though they're not having him over to do analysis and stuff but your knowledge is so much deeper than the average chump that they bring in sometimes to host it on a whim you know who clearly doesn't play dota yeah i mean there's i think people misunderstand that the job of um of a host sometimes or even if you're just there as like color analyst or whatever yeah but i think also the idea of a casual fan of dota kind of doesn't exist because

you have to have you have to have a thousand hours in it to even be like yeah to be a casual dota it kind of doesn't exist because you have to have you have to have a thousand hours in it to to even be like yeah to be a casual dota player right but so that those those guys and gals who are playing it for they've oh i've just hit my 500th game right you know those those that that's not the biggest sort of uh chunk of the the pro audience if you like like this is this is interesting because i was talking about this the other night. I don't want to get into games too much, but let's just talk about the way Dota's changed since I started working in it 10 years ago. Sorry, 11. It used to be that this was Valve's baby,

that all the top guys at Valve loved Dota 2 and had played it and were delighted to see how it was going. The Dota team was much bigger than it is now. And they had the first TI at Gamescom in 2011. And they basically, it was a million dollar prize pool. The players didn't believe them. They didn't think this was real.

They thought it was a con. They honestly, they had to, a bunch of them didn't turn up because they thought there's no way they're giving you a million dollars. It's a lie. They did do it. Na'Vi won. It was like a big moment. And then it grew from there. And it probably peaked in terms of like the production side of things and the prize pool and everything around TI6, TI7, TI8. And then we had like things

like it went to China and it wasn't particularly great. And then we had COVID and that was obviously really bad. And then they've changed the way that the thing is structured. So there's less days in the big arena that was like Singapore. And now this year they've got this road to TI thing where it's more group stagey and off the main stage and more like in a little arena. And then the big stadium stuff is just the last three days. Right. So I've seen this whole change in Dota. And in that whole time, I've met a few kinds of people. The absolute hardcore Dota fans who played Dota 1,

played with some of these pro players back in the day, back when, you know, there was no MMR system. You just played these games. You had all these little lands going everywhere. And Dota 2 came along and professionalized, for want of a better word, the scene and created this esports scene, essentially Dota 2 and Valve. And then you've got the fans who play but are terrible and

don't play every day. They play once a week, sometimes on a Saturday night, they'll get together with their mates, play a game of Dota. They're terrible, but they have fun anyway. They only watch TI. They don't watch any pro Dota the rest of the year, ever. And then you have the people who don't play, they just watch. They love watching it. They don't play

it at all. they're too scared that's me now right i'm like a lapsed player but i still watch stuff sometimes but there are some people i know who've only ever played against bots they just play against bots they're too scared to play against or with people but they love watching ti are they scared because they think they're going to get flamed by their teammates yes exactly yeah when i was younger i didn, I didn't understand why this was a thing. I was like, why on earth would you just watch someone else play this game but never play it yourself? And I think that it changed when I started watching StarCraft 2 videos. Yes, that's a big one.

Because I hate playing that game, but I really like watching someone good at that. Yeah, I used to really watch StarCraft 2. It's such a discrepancy. I loved all the tournaments, the early tournaments, like during the beta. I used to watch Day 9's daily, every day and stuff. It was- Husky. Starcraft Husky.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was- HD, Starcraft, and then Husky. It was amazing. Yeah. It's really nice to see someone really good at something showing that off, right? I think that's what YouTube often is, right?

It is these focuses on individuals who have a passion or have experience doing something well either want to teach you it is like going to a class i mean dota 2's been going for a long time yeah you're right it was gabe's baby you know back in the day and certainly like he was obviously a fan of that and you know um things like cs cs go and and it made valve relevant you know they needed games for their for their platform yeah they're a they're a platform maker really not a game maker but they needed some something to sort of show off the they every time they bring out a new piece of hardware or something you know they have to make some game for it just to just to give it that

oh here's something it's almost like a tech demo you know to show off but i think those games have been analyzed so and built based on all these other things you know they've had economists come in and advise them on how to build this economy and you know they've they've re they were the first people to make a free-to-play game you know tf2 was like the first free-to-play game and it still apparently makes a huge amount of money today um which is my my eldest still plays steam yeah you can't have dota 2 going on for so long without it changing i mean it's a ti what are we up to how many more 14 12 this is 12 i mean god it's it's which started yesterday i mean jingle jam's been going 13 years it'll be 13 years this

year and it's changed a lot and it has to right like i i do fear always that, what about the next time? I worry, is it still relevant? Is this still a decent model that we're doing? And how long can it last? The Jingle Jam hinges on so many things, in a sense. It hinges on Valve allowing us to generate all these hundreds of thousands of keys to send out. It hinges on the the developers all being having goodwill it depends on people like unity not doing these sort of weird things you know that could crash into the ground it's kind of very fragile but at the same time my philosophy is it it has to be we just we have to my i guess my number one word is inclusion right we want to get as many developers to give their games but we also want to get as many creators as possible to promote them.

We want a bunch of charities and we want something for everyone. A bunch of streams that represent all people involved in Jingle Jam. It can never be bad if you have so many people with so many ideas and so many cool, passionate individualism coming in there, making it something different. I do worry that you have to change, and I fear the shape that that will take. But we seem to have bumbled on so far. It's the same with Yogs. Everything we do, we all worry that, oh my God, what, what it's, it feels, everything feels so fragile, right? Like what happens if, um, Amazon just decides to shut Twitch down? Oh, I guess, I guess we're fucked, but no,

there's some, there'll be something that comes along, right. Or some way out. It's not, people will see this stuff coming usually. Yeah. And it's not as blindsided. If you were a Vine creator or a Mixer creator, then, you know, I suppose you did build your house upon the sand, but you know, that was- You just gotta- but this applies to like a lot of different aspects of life as well. You just gotta give it a go. You can't think i'm not going to do that because in a year whatever like you you might you might apply to work at a company you don't know if that company is going to be around in a year it could be the biggest company in the world they might not be around in a year companies downsize change disappear all the damn time like it's not just on the internet it's it's you know it's that's that applies to so many so many things

like you just have to you just You just have to go for it. Yeah, I don't think you should fear the idea of educating yourself in a pointless way, right? Because that's never a bad investment to make. If you're good, if you're a good content creator on one platform and you've had success, you'll find it on another platform as well. It's not like, you know, you see these people go viral on TikTok and Instagram and other things like Tom Bates' animations are so good. And they've independently gone viral on these different platforms, right? And so I think stuff that is good these days, it's best time to be like this this this you know like Joe Pera I'm sure that that is you know with you talking about him and like this huge like

Schlatt is fucking the top comment on his on this video you linked P-Flex you know and he's a massive uh creator one of the biggest there is at the moment. What? What video did I send you? The comedy special. Oh, yeah. Joey's comedy special. Joey, it's very common to see this stuff going on, right? The algorithm does bring out new, create new. It finds quality dynamically. You can, I don't want to say trust, but you can

it feels weirdly fairer than it's ever been. Yeah. You know, back in the day, it was just you were the first one, you're big, you're the one. Remember way back in the day, remember Reply Girls? Exactly. Like all people

abusing the algorithm. Reply Girls? Yeah, you remember them? Back in the in the day pflex there was this busted thing on the youtube algorithm where if you replied to a video a popular video you would get sort of boosted you get recommended alongside the video uh there'll be a couple of girls who look like they were being held hostage in some eastern european sweatshop um and they would they would literally record a reply with them talking. They'd watch a video, not even watch it,

like just reply to a video. And the thumbnail would be them with a big pair of boobs. And that was such- I just watched the video, the new video by Blue The Force. I think it was a Minecraft video. Like it was just that. It was basically just that but you I guess people tuned in

because these women all had large breasts that you could you know they were I think it was it was just for some reason it was this viral thing

at the time that was just every big video on YouTube had some woman multiple women with booby thumbnails replying to it and I guess it was before they would nowadays had some woman, multiple women, with booby thumbnails replying to it.

And I guess it was before, they would nowadays be thoughts, TikTok thoughts or whatever. I think that's the right word. Am I saying that right? Am I saying that right, son? Thoughts? I was watching Married at First Sight last night, and one of the contestants on the show, they were having a big group discussion. And I think the question was like, which couple do you think is doing the best so far or something like that? And one of the women was like, you know, the two of you, I didn't think at first, but you know what? I ship it now.

My wife was like, what the fuck did she just say and i said oh god i don't even want to explain it it's so fucking stupid i don't know why you would ever utter those words but there she was on tv saying it like it's fucking so i always thought that people would say these things semi-ironically. Ay-yi-yi. But they really do become part of language that people will use in a serious way. Ugh. Yeah. Like, you know, the one that annoys me at the moment is, it's giving. It's giving. It's giving... It's giving....humble, but it's also giving look at me. You know, it's like, it's giving. So, you describe something, like, it could be anything.

Well... Like, you walk into a coffee shop. It's giving cozy you describe something like it could be anything well like you walk into a coffee shop it's giving cozy one of them what the fuck one of them hit like it was an entire sentence of uh individual like like things that you hear on the internet but like yeah but like he was like he was like oh when the when the when the power is overwhelming and and she walks in in her full truth or something like that i was like what the fuck are you saying like this is this is insane you cannot speak like this out there in the world like nobody understands this stuff like apparently they do like that's the thing is their generation will happily talk like that we're old now i guess i mean that's it i'm sure they said the same thing about us in the 90s but when we were saying gnarly radical dude yeah cowabunga man you said

cowabunga you won't get far in the business world talking about talking about cows and bungas i don't know what you're thinking this is the it's hard because being over a certain age feels weird. It feels weird for me to say slay when someone does something good. It sounds great to hear you say it. Look, I use this kind of lingo all the time, mainly to wind my kids up. But sometimes they'll catch themselves talking to me and I'll be using the same slang that they do subtly, like I'm an undercover cop. You know what I mean? And they'll suddenly notice that I'm saying things like it's giving just to wind them up they're like dad stop you know i love it yeah i'm lucky because i don't have a british accent so my my my one is i i do my stupid london accent

but my kids love it love it it's so bad my kids will be like dad can I have something to eat alright Nigel I'll get you something to eat so bad it's so funny

it's like a proper EastEnders but like just wrong. Bad and insincerely exaggerated. You need to go to a class to have to learn some accents. No, I don't need to. That is something I think will be helpful for me to do. Hey, I actually got somebody, I was getting my hair cut the other day and my hairdresser was like, hey, are you Canadian?

She was not Canadian. She was like, you know from from jersey or whatever and i was like yeah she's like oh yeah i recognize the accent it's like well you're the first because what the fuck me like i've been called everything like the other day i told you guys about this the other day the guy's like hey you australian i was like no like I don't fucking sound like anything like an Australian. I don't know, like, what Australia you've been to recently, but... People don't know, do they? Yeah, yeah. By the way, I've just calculated 500 days of Dota.

I've played just under 500 days. That's insane. In the last 11 years. That's insane. It's 11,000... Nearly 12,000 hours. I think for me, like, in terms of time played, like in of all time, Dota is funnily enough, one of my higher played and then World of Warcraft for sure.

But you're talking about, I mean, I've been playing World of Warcraft off and on since 2004 and I've been playing Dota 2 off and on since it came out in 2010 or 11 or whatever right right yeah and and even then on steam my i've got like 1300 hours in dota 2 but spread across a lot of games yeah so it's like like i generally still play it every day yeah like one of my one of my other most played games is x-com 2 and i consider that a game I've played a lot. Oh, I played that recently, actually. I went back and did a- Yeah. I'm in the middle of a long war playthrough. 550 hours. I mean, value for money. You told me not to play long war. Does this still stand? Would you say no? So, if you want to get frustrated, give it a go.

If you want to hurt yourself, yeah. But I installed a mod, and I do not- It actually might be fine for streaming. Oh, it's fun to stream. But you will literally, oh, this is going okay. And then all of a sudden you'll be on a mission and your entire team will get wiped and the aliens are like way out of your league. So I installed a mod called A Better Start, which gives you a bunch of resources and makes things like healing from injuries quicker, research quicker, engineering quicker, you build things quicker. Because the game gets out of control really quickly.

And I wanted to try and figure out what the fuck I was doing wrong. I played that one, was it Xenonauts? Yeah, the new one came out. Well, it's early access, and it's only about six hours long at the moment. Oh, really? I struggled to enjoy that. I thought I would really enjoy it. And I just found it very, just frustrating.

Like it was just- It was very authentic to the original XCOM, which is a very different vibe. It's very different. I just, I think maybe just XCOM 2 has spoiled me because it's just, it's just such a great game. It's so good. XCOM 2 is honestly such a pinnacle. Like there's tons of these games coming out all the time like the lamplighters league came out recently which was like not well received but but the problem

is they they they all come out in a world where x-com 2 exists and yet they don't learn the lessons oh my god i love how i love preach brother i love how good the game is, but I love how goofy it is at the same time. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's just such- The balance is perfect. It is so perfect. It's like, I'd say, like, it's one of my all-time favorite games. Absolutely. Hands down.

It's just such a well-made game, and so replayable, too. You can go back to it after a couple years, and, like, I hadn't played it for years. I played it recently. I loved it. Like it was just such a joy to play through again. Yeah. So here's my thing that they made the Chimera Squad, which was like a little add on.

And I thought they're testing out some new mechanics. Yeah. I kind of like the room based stuff was interesting. Right. I liked that. So if you had multiple ingress methods to a mission, sometimes you're kicking doors, sometimes you're doing the airdrop, sometimes you're surprised, you know, you could just have the lads at the base and then suddenly, oh shit, they come and you've got to grab the guns

or whatever. I was really hoping there would be an XCOM 3. I know that the stories behind the scenes are the lead dev and all the guys are left and XCOM 2 is basically not going to happen with, I think it's take two, isn't it? And with the same team. So what you're saying Lewis about how all these other games come out, why aren't they learning the lessons from XCOM 2? I cannot explain it because it would be like- I can't explain it. Sometimes it's like I'm playing a game and I'm like, have these guys not played XCOM 2? Yes. What are you thinking?

Where is the mechanic for the basic mechanic? Like mousing over where you're moving and does it show a flanking location? Yes. What are you thinking? Where is the mechanic for the basic mechanic? Like mousing over where you're moving and does it show a flanking location? Like very basic stuff is not in these games. Yeah. Like almost like first page of the design document stuff. Yeah. So the first page should be, look at all the stuff XCOM 2 did well. We're going to do all of that and we're going to add some stuff that isn't just needlessly complicated. Exactly what it needs.

It just needs to have a spin. yeah on it anyway don't set it in the fucking 30s like who no one gives a shit about that era i'm sorry it's a fucking boring era to play just set it in the 30s and they've got like revolvers and canes and umbrellas fuck off fuck off we want we want magnetic weapons and robots. That's what we want. We don't want, I shall have you with my rapier, dear boy. And like, oh, they're all characters.

No, I want to be able to name and customize my characters. Yes, all the customization. I want the storylines behind the characters. I want missions to go badly wrong sometimes. I want people to get fucking left behind and then we go back and rescue them. I don't want to have to worry about ammo. I don't want to have to be like, I'm out of ammo. I want to waste an action reloading. Don't fuck me around with ammo. It feels like in XCOM as well, you're on a journey, right? And it's slow in places. I think

a lot of games don't realise how you have to add boring, slow shit to them. If you're a game dev, you're like, why would I add boring, slow shit to my game? But actually, when you think about all the games you love, it feels like it's immersive to slowly move through and slowly have this journey and see all aspects of the journey. And yes, some bits you'd like to skip forward through, especially cut scenes. I mean, God. But Starfield is the major problem where it feels like, because you're constantly fast travelling, you're constantly zipping around, there's so many mechanics in there that make the game quicker. For example, even just the simple aspect of being in the pilot's seat and pressing E to teleport to planet. So you don't even have to get up,

you don't have to walk to the door. It feels like what they've done is they've had it in production for so long they've played it for so long the team are like oh let's add some quality of life stuff to make this game quicker and easier to play through but by doing so it's ripped out that sense of immersion that you need and i I almost stopped playing Starfield because, and in fact I have, because I started to think there's going to be a load of mods for this that will make it a good game. And I don't want to ruin the story in this game for myself while the game is bad. And it's not bad, but it is bad. It's typical Bethesda, it'll be better once Asses of Starfield comes out, and also the Innie mod, so that you don't have every woman's pussy in Starfield isn't an outie,

it corrects it and makes them an Innie instead. It's only a matter of time. That is an actual Skyrim mod by the way that was when that's when skyrim became good that's an actual skyrim mod sorry for a little rant there at the end but that's i'm just disappointed and i know it'll be good and it's same thing with cyberpunk um apparently the news apparently the new cyberpunk is um really good the new yeah yeah that's what they're all saying i'm gonna play that maybe after christmas so i it. Yeah, that's what they're all saying. I'm going to play that maybe after Christmas. So I think that's my next thing I'm going to go at. But yeah, try Long Warships.

Just try it. Try the base Long War of the Chosen and see how you get on. Don't play it on a harder difficulty. Play it on the second difficulty. All right. And don't try to Iron Man it just because it does crash occasionally. Right, okay. But honestly, give it a go.

Yeah. And then get back to me. Okay. Let me know how you found it. I will. Because it's a fucking ball bag mate okay it's hard

sometimes that's good it's like it's like installing a really hard mod for a game that changes it but you will literally you'll be like

it's okay it's okay and then you'll pull a pod and it'll be like an 8 man pod and they've all got 10 health and it's like fuck

what do I do it's really like people in chat will help you with tips and stuff but yeah i had to read github guides i've been watching youtube guides and i'm even then i'm struggling so it's hard okay all right all right boys tips thank you for gaming tips hot movie tips i'll talk to you from seattle next week yes good luck have a safe trip have a good time thank you guys thank you i appreciate it we love you bye