Triforce! - Triforce! #272: Pyrion's Mid-Life Crisis

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Triforce! Episode 272! Lewis risks his life in a hot air balloon, Pyrion's midlife crisis manifests in a far too expensive steering wheel and Sips has his post-streaming life all figured out! Go to http://auraframes.com/triforce to get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

pickaxe good morning and welcome back to the triforce podcast we're back oh my god by the time you uh listen to this we will be balls deep in jingle jam we will be ready to nut in jingle jam but we will be jingling and jamming christmasy nuts so hard 30 days half september april june and november so jingle jam starts manana yeah it starts uh tomorrow yeah yeah that's what manana means ladsads, that's what I said. I thought that meant money. No. Give me your manana. Give me all your manana.

Put the manana in the bag right now! Gracias! Gracias! Well, good, that's wonderful to hear that that means that. So yesterday, to launch the Jingle jingle jam i went in a hot air balloon nice which was pretty fucking cool guys don't know if you've been in one never uh don't know if you've ever think thought about going in one no it's a bucket list thing i reckon you should do it it's it's it's cool it feels uh like i would be very scared the whole time. Well... I was scared before, obviously, about it, and I didn't really want to do

it, and then the day got closer, and I was like, I guess it's just one of those things I have to do, because, you know, that's what you do, isn't it? Just be a man up, and get over your fears. Hey, Richard Branson did it, so... Well... And almost died. Well, Richard Branson did it, so... Wow. And almost died. Well, so did Lewis, probably. Yeah.

Well, we did talk about this. We don't know how close he got. I sort of had forgotten that we were doing this, and then it suddenly was like today, and I was like, oh, crap. So I went down, got a balloon, went up in the sky, and it's cool. It's like about 1,000 feet up,

which is about the height of the Shard, P-Flax. So imagine you're at the top of one of these very tall buildings. Everyone's been up to a very tall building, right? Terrifyingly high, is what you're saying. Pretty high. You can obviously see all the miniature cityscape around you, which is kind of cool. Yeah. It's kind of far away enough that everything looks like interesting.

Yeah. But not far away enough that everything looks interesting, but not far away enough that it's all flat. It felt like that when I was up the thing in Tokyo, the massive mega, one of the tallest buildings in the world in Tokyo. Everything was so high, it was like you were in a plane. It didn't really feel... Was it Roppongi Towers? No, it was the other one.

Oh, the other one. I wanna say Tokyo Tower, but it's not. The Towers of Tokyo. It's not called that. Or maybe it is. Anyway, it's a super, super fucking tall tower, and was frightening. But the hot air balloon, actually, not so frightening. You're fairly hemmed in, because the basket's really small.

It's just me, Duncan, and this pilot, Andrew. And we were trying to film bits and this this pilot andrew and we were trying to like film bits of vlog bits and he constantly would like chip in oh yeah he was like joining in yeah he was like fairly just releasing some air boys we're going down fellas doing air again exactly he was like this and so course, it's silent up there, it's really serene and blissfully quiet, but then, every so often, he pulls the trigger on the flames, it goes. Yeah, makes a lot of noise. Makes a lot of noise.

Like the loudest thing you've ever heard. And me and Doug kinda like, we get the phone out and we're like, hi guys, so we're hearing a. Do you know what I mean? He would do it on purpose at the most awkward times. He always hated us filming in his hot air balloon. What was on the fabric of his hot air balloon? Was it just a color, or did he have some sort of cool logo or something?

So hopefully you will have seen it by this point, the podcast goes out, but it's the Wallace & Gromit Grand Peel hot air balloon. So they always wanted a hot air balloon because Bristol, you know, it's famous for its balloons and they're very Bristol-centric. Aardman here, Wallace and Gromit, Children's Hospital. It serves like the whole southeast, southwest. It's like a big deal, right? And so they tried to get like a grommet um balloon

but it didn't look right without the ears and they couldn't get the ears on properly so then they were like how about like a wallace one but then they realized that that looked like a weird giant head yeah and it was just kind of weird and then they tried a few other tried a few other options that didn't work and then they eventually got this um rocket but as soon as it was finished um covid happened they went into storage and they hadn't had an excuse to get it out since so we were like we're doing where do we we're doing jingle jam this would be a good way to launch jingle jam um and it's it's cool it's a big cool orange rocket the one they sent to the moon in the movie it's a bit grand the initial reference yes the grand day out so yeah it's the grand appeal they they came along they brought along a news crew from bbc points west nice who who covered

us famously about five years ago wow uh on the telly it's funny really when traditional media tries to cover jingle jam um because it's kind of adorable um it obviously doesn't move the needle for us in any way you know it's not like someone's some grand scene jingle jam oh those boys look nice i wonder what they're doing i bet they're playing minecraft uh how do i install how do i use a computer to go onto twitch joey, it's a bit of an ask to make it. But it's always flattering when they do cover us. Anyway, hot air balloon. Fantastic, by the way.

You should definitely do it if you get a chance. It's really calm, obviously punctuated by the flames. But if the guy gives you some warning of when they're coming, it's not so shocking. And we just, so normally the way it happens in Bristol, I don't know if you know this, but they launch all the balloons over on Ashton Court, which is this big old mansion house with a park around it. And the winds are normally blowing eastwardly from the west.

And so they fly over the city. Today we launched in the middle of the city, and we thought we were going to be flying east. But of course the wind was blowing. You're at the whims of the wind right with with these balloon launch did you have a westerly was it was it a westerly exactly yeah it was a westerly wind oh man and so it blew us towards ashton court but the guy was like i reckon i could just land us in the balloon landing grounds in ashton court and i was like how do you do he was like, well, I've been doing it for a long time. I know how to fly a balloon.

I'm like, well, obviously. He's not just going to tell you how to do it. He doesn't want everybody just knowing how to do it. But I thought they were at the whims of the wind. But apparently, no, you can like properly guide an air balloon when you're in the air, which is amazing to me. Imagine you couldn't. It's not got like a propeller or anything on it um they'd be all over the damn place you can have people landing in the

ocean and stuff like you you'd have to be able to i don't think anybody would do it if you couldn't control it i could be it'd just be a lottery right all right i'm going up i don't know if i'm coming back this is the risks we take when we go up in these things. This is the life of a balloonman. This is what it is. I think you have weights on the balloon. And if I remember rightly, you just hang the weights on one side. They're like big saddlebags.

Yeah. Yeah. And you've got to clip them on. It's sort of like leaning one way or the other. And I think if the, I don't know if the correct term would be the angular momentum of the bag. I don't know what that is, but I'm just chucking it out there. If you're changing the weight on one side of the basket, it's gonna sort of act as if

you were leaning to one side, and it'll go that way a bit more, I guess? Yeah, he said he was corkscrewing it to get it to... And also he said he was looking down at like where the um smoke would come out of like chimneys and stuff right to see which way the wind was going i mean i'm sure it's a real art i mean how many balloons are there really go to he would like he would look down to like find the areas where oh it's really interesting anyway really cool did a really cool balloon trip had a nice time i'd read a bit about balloons as well, like, before. There was like a jewel, famously on hot air balloons I knew about, where they both went up, each of them shot the other's balloon out.

Wow. And they both fell and died. Jesus! Okay, here, look, I got a link for you, in general. Here you go. Okay. Feast your eyes on this. Sure.

You're gonna love this. The Gattineau Hot Air Balloon Festival. This is like the Bristol Hot Air Balloon Festival. Every year, baby. We used to see these balloons up in the sky during the summer. You'd get to the peak of the summer and you'd see these bad boys up there and you knew the Hot Air Balloon Festival was on. Now, I didn't know anything about the balloons,

but I just remembered that they used to have sometimes colorful like logos for like estate agents and other other like local stores and stuff like they are so cool i mean they're like a hundred feet high yeah these balloons they're massive they're so visually stunning like when we went over the city um i was i overheard someone i was it whenever we came back i went to a coffee shop and someone the person in front of me in the queue was like did you see that balloon going over and i didn't say anything to them but then later on someone else told me that there was a balloon that got over independently today and i almost was like i was in that balloon that was me but i just didn't want to i didn't want to be that guy i'm i'm the kind of person who i think first of all why take a risk you know what

i mean sometimes those things go down and i'm sure they go down more often than say a commercial plane especially if there's a jewel sir i don't know also also i feel like it's the kind of thing where i'd be up there and for the first five or maybe even 10 minutes i'd be like well this is nice but then it's like how long is this right it's like two hours i'd be like oh fuck oh there's no way it's two hours how long were you up there for probably like half an hour maybe or like 45 minutes i'm gonna take you up that long that's a little okay yeah so you're gonna spend the first 20 minutes white knuckling the side unable to feel your legs and shitting your pants and and then just as you ease into, oh, maybe I can get used to this, you'll be descending.

That's normally how those things go, right? I think I'd be bored five minutes in. I'd be like, how much more of this is there? You are right, it's like, a lot of prep, a lot of like, making sure you get game ready, and don't touch that, don't do this, all this stuff, you know, this is this thing, and you go up it's quite quick goes up pretty quick and suddenly you're in the air and it's fairly consistent and yeah you're right like fairly slow for the next like half an hour or whatever and then you start

the landing procedure which is like you start grazing the top of trees you start like thinking are we gonna land here and like bobbing up and down because it's like well this is a bad place to land so we're gonna have to go up again they go down again i mean until eventually um the landing happens and you know you want to land on like a slightly inclined slope and you want to sort of lean back so the basket doesn't tip over these are all the sort of slightly these are really good ballooning tips thanks very much yeah yeah excellent you're welcome if you ever need them but i actually one of the things that we were chatting about was how dangerous it was. Because Ben had told me that ballooning was the least dangerous way to travel, or something

like this. And so I was saying, oh, you know... Well, that's how they went around the world in 80 days, isn't it? They did it in a balloon. So it has to be safe. Did they do the whole thing in a balloon? I think they did. In 80 days around the world?

I don't think so. That would have been a very boring story. balloon, so it has to be safe. Did they do the whole thing in a balloon? I think they did. In 80 days around the world? I don't think so, that would have been a very boring story. I thought they had to take all kinds of different forms of transport. 80 days around the world. I'm not even sure they used a balloon at all. I don't even know if it was 80 days, wasn't it 180? No, it's 80 days. Eyyy, 80 days around the world, that was the TV show, remember?

Oh, there's a movie too, right, where they had to go around the world, there was the TV show, remember? There's a movie too, right? Where they had to go around the world. There was like a prize and everybody's racing. Yeah, it's a Jules Verne book. And Phileas Fogg, a wealthy English gentleman living a solitary life in London. Despite his wealth, he lives modestly and carries out his habits with mathematical precision.

He's a member of the Reform Club, where he spends the best part of his days. Having dismissed his valet for bringing him shaving water at a temperature slightly lower than expected, Fogg hires Frenchman Jean Passepartout as a replacement. And then they decide to get involved in a race. You can travel around the world in 80 days. He accepts a wage of £20,000, half of his fortune, from fellow club members to compete such a journey within this time period. Passepartout accompanying him, Fogg departs by train train to win the wager he must return to the club by the same time the 21st i thought it was mostly balloon but maybe i'm wrong no they take a steamer from london to

suez and a steamer across the red sea then they take rail then a steamer then a steamer then a steamer then a train then a steamer that's a lot of steamers they get in a balloon. God damn, did they have time to even do the race with all those steamers? Looks like there's no balloon in it, just in the cartoon. Oh, weird. Okay. But my visual memory seems to associate a balloon with that every time.

That's because of the TV show, the cartoon. It was a cartoon, 80 Days Around the World. I remember the big spoiler plot point, which I really liked about that movie, that I still am not quite familiar, quite understand how it works. Or at least do a disclaimer first. Spoiler for 80 Days Around the World.

Good, thank you very much. From 1895, probably. It's never too late. They get there and according to his diary they've done over 80 days right so they're like too late because they think they've arrived on boxing day right but

they forgot to take into account that they crossed the international date line so they gain a whole day oh my god what a technicality so in fact they arrive there and they suddenly realize oh shit it is it's actually we haven't failed we've we're on time we can still make it back man i'm using that one next year for my tax return hell yeah i thought that was a really

it's just such a good genius it's genius um so you'd have to read the book now uh i guess like you know it kind of explains what happens in the title anyway it's a very so you'd have to read the book now uh i guess like you know it kind of explains what happens in the title anyway it's a very good title anyway we were chatting away about this on the on the hot air balloon how dangerous it is to fly these balloons and because i was sort of saying um they measure it by mile right like planes are the safest way to travel by mile because we're doing like 9,000 miles in a fucking journey sometimes. But per actual trip, planes are obviously a lot less safe on average. How so?

Well, because a lot of people make a lot of trips... Bikes are quite dangerous, right? Because they get hit a lot by cars, and cars are very dangerous, because a lot of people die in cars all the time, right? But a lot of people make very short car trips and bike trips where they don't die whereas planes per trip are more dangerous you see what i mean it's how you measure a plane crash tons of the metric die on it right that's why yeah and planes and people have died in planes compared to the millions of car trips that made this yeah well probably billions of car trips i don't know there's there's not so many anyway so we're talking about this hot air balloon thing being

like oh this is the safest way to travel blah blah blah you know of course it's going to be the safest thing if you say oh no one's died in the last year that means it's got zero percent chance of you you know dying in a high ever i'd say the odds have gone up but that's the gambler's fallacy would you rather okay if your plane was crashing would you would you just want to uh die or survive because i feel like i i feel like people are like well obviously i'd want to live i don't know if i'd want to live after surviving a plane crash i think that would be horrific why you would be scarred for the rest of your damn life you i don't even think you would be alive yeah i don't think you'd ever sleep again you'd be like you'd probably grind your teeth into like stubs and everything

like it'd be awful i i feel like your quality of life would be impacted so much after that i mean unless it was like a you know i i don't know like it like it unless it wasn't like a horrific horrific crash but like if it was one where there was like a plane where everybody died except for like five people on a flight with like 300 people or something i don't know if i'd want to be a survivor you know what i mean because you would see some horrendous shit for sure i mean i'm sure you would it would be it would be the most traumatic thing imaginable yeah as uh as we know the dead know only one thing it is better to to be alive. So I would say I would like to survive. Well, alright.

Interesting. But I mean, I'm just saying, like... I'm just putting that out there. You're never gonna fly again, right? I don't care about that, I'm alive. I mean, people survive crazy shit all the time. You just like, scale it back. You have to deal with it, scale it back, and then just go off the grid.

You'd be like Quentin Jaws. You'd have to go off the grid. I ain't never put that life jacket on again. I'm laughing. I shouldn't be. But I'm saying though, I think it would just be so fucking awful. I can't think of much worse. I mean, there is worse for sure, but I think it would just be horrendous.

So, we're in this hot air balloon right we hadn't even been in it for like 10 minutes when because me and doug were talking about how safe it was anyway uh the the the pilot chimes in of course as he did to all of our little conversations and says uh well actually my my mate from bristol died in a balloon oh just recently and i was like you should- You should have called him up on that. You should have been like, don't bring the tongue down. I'm trying to have fun here.

Well, I went silent. This is meant to be fun. I went silent and I looked him in the eye and I looked Duncan in the eye and I like, I didn't roll my eyes, but I sort of like went, I was like, you know, That is heavy.

In my head, I was like... That is heavy. You've got a lot of shit to deal with on your first balloon trip as well. I was like, I like, looked down, you know, and the fucking ground fell away. Oh man, that's rough. Okay, so... Jeez. Yeah, it's just like, you know, fucking...

Maybe save that one too after we've landed. Yeah, right, jeez. Jesus. Fucking hell. Hey, welcome aboard my train! Now, by the way, my whole family died on this train. Well, anyway, choo choo, off we go! Oh dear. Um, I've, uh, I've purchased something that arrived this morning, gents.

Oh. Okay. Talkin' of transport. Is it a new coat? No, I got my new coat last week of course you did yeah of course uh and it's a it's good i'm happy with my new coat no this is a this is a steering wheel oh it's a logitech steering wheel i saw the tweet i know where this is going with pedals all right with pedals um and uh i was playing euro truck simulator too

yesterday very nice very nice like four quid in the steam sale how much did you pay for this Yeah, and I was playing Euro Truck Simulator 2 yesterday for the first time. Very nice, very nice. It was for like four quid in the Steam sale. And how much did you pay for this fucking steering wheel? £20. My God. Hold on. I've got to say that because Mrs. F is listening in the next room,

and I told her I only spent 20 quid on the steering wheel. It was over £100. Fucking hell. You're having a midlife... This is a midlife crisis. No. You're having a mid-life- this is a mid-life crisis! No! You're in it! No!

Over a hundred! It started! That's a lot of money to spend on a fucking steering wheel! These things look like they're multiple hundreds! They look like they're multiple hundreds! This one is like, 220 starting. I remember when Duncan bought a flight stick, and it had pedals and thrusters and stuff, and I thought, this guy is fucked.

That cost like 300 pounds. This guy is royally fucked. That cost like 300 pounds. This guy is royally fucked. Where did you get it for 100 pounds? I didn't. We're all whispering. I didn't, too. You got the hookup for the legendary steering wheel.

I'm lying again. I'm lying again. It was much more than that. Jesus Christ, man. Is it plated in gold? Let me see how much it was, hold on. It was 200 pounds. Is it coated in Gandhi's cum or something?

Like, why is it so expensive? Because it was 219 pounds. Fucking hell! For the steering wheel and the pants. You're going to be in the doghouse forever if she books you out. She doesn't, She stopped listening. Now, she stopped listening to the podcast a long time ago. That's good.

That's good to hear. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't buy myself things very often like that. I really don't. Right, right. I just thought, I mean, when was the last time I bought something really stupid that I want to play?

Oh my God. Of driving games. And there's a bunch of good driving games at the moment. I thought, why not? And it's always sucks to play them on a controller. I like driving. So let's go. And I fucking bought it. And I don't fucking have to apologize.

Why am I whispering? No, no, no. I was playing. I played a bunch of Gran Turismo not too long ago with a bunch of my friends from Canada. So we were on Discord and everybody was like sharing video right um because we haven't seen each other for a while it's like during covid and stuff we're playing this game we're all in different time zones and stuff so some people are like in their their gym jams and other people are just you know starting their day whatever and uh so my friend turns his on

and he's got a whole fucking steering wheel, gaming chair, everything. And everybody was laughing at him. But then he absolutely wrecked us at Grand Tour. Of course. There was nothing. I mean, this guy was lapping all of us. Like, we could not even. Like, you'd make one mistake and he was just like two laps ahead of you. Like, it was insane.

So, I mean, maybe there's something in the steering wheel. I always just just thought it was a bit silly but you know he's he's pretty good i mean he's amazing he's probably the best practice i guess um race driver i've ever met so we we would have done the farming sim stream already but every year we duncan bought a farming sim it looks like one of those things on when you go to a bowling alley like the helper thing the metal frame help oh yes for little kids or quite frankly for ladies so yes carry on it's it's basically a steering wheel with a big um metal frame with some pedals at the bottom and it's got all the farming sim controls it's got like 12 buttons and like a little joystick so you can feel like you're in a tractor.

Yes. And every year, Doug can fucking dust it off and tries to get it working, and most of the time we can't get it working anyway. Have you seen these, um, have you seen the people that are, um, like, airplane, airliner enthusiasts that build, like, full cockpits in their house? Yes, we talked about them. With multiple monitors, we did. Oh my god remember

the guy who felt that he should be considered a pilot yes yeah that was a good one too and i'm sure i'm sure i don't remember the exact discussion but i'm sure we mentioned how much all of the the flight simulator dlc costs because oh no we didn't talk about that it's like tens of thousands of pounds like no yeah let me just check for you, hang on. I'm sure we have done this before, but I always find it incredible every time I look it up. Flight Simulator X? Flight Simulator X is I think the one that has all of it. Oh no, that's not it.

Hang on. What was the new one called? The latest one was just Flight Sim simulator something i don't know so there's 234 dlcs for this game yes um i can't even show them all on one uh list because it only goes up to 200 um on average it looks like a dlc costs about 1999 I'd say on average. Some are cheaper, more expensive than others. How do I show the total if I wanted to buy all of this? Select unowned DLC, £2,940. That's wild, eh?

Crazy. That's only the first half. And the only other game I can think, I think there's a train simulator as well? Train simulator has tons of them as well? Oh, yeah, I think if you want to buy all of the train sim, it's about £25,000 to buy all of the DLC. Yeah.

What the fuck? But I mean, obviously you wouldn't, but you would buy the specific bit you want, but it's still crazy to think about. Yeah, there's 722 DLCs for Train Simulator, and they average at about $17.99, I'd say, at a quick glance, so yeah, that's gonna be a lot. And then the obvious one, The Sims 4, I think clocks in at just over a grand, for all of the expansions and DLCs. There's a new one coming out in like a week, for The Sims 4. I mean, Sims 4, that actually sounds like something that you would actually wanna buy

all the DLCs for. Not all of them. I can tell you, my youngest has bought a lot of DLC for that. It is a good game, to be fair. I've been playing it recently. She loves it. It is funny as hell, but some of the DLC is definitely you can skip. Safely skip.

I think the thing is is a lot of people think of dlc as being like cash grabby and and and bad but the way i see it if you really love a game and you put a lot of hours into it i mean i've spent thousands on dota and it's a free game and if you told me now to that if i wanted to get into dota i needed to buy all of the stuff that i've bought over the 11 years i've been playing dota i would balk at the idea and say no i'm not spending that much money um and you might feel that you're kind of missing out on something whereas i think i think with train sim and stuff people look at the dlc and think oh well i'll just buy the ones i want but with something like hearts of iron or stelaris or

europa universalis you look at all the dlc and it's like the base game is no longer valuable because of all the stuff that's been added on that essentially changes the game. It just becomes a service, right? Because nobody's working on a game for 10 plus years. The Sims 4 came out in 2012 or something, whatever, whenever it came out, and nobody's working on a game for that long right the only way people are working on a game for that long is if they're continuing to produce content that people pay for i see what you're saying sorry because i was gonna say they definitely are still

working on it because they're yeah no they absolutely are yeah because they make a shit ton of money right off it still but i mean the dlc keeps the game going it's the same as a it's it's a similar model to like MMO, right? Yeah, yeah. People will play WoW, pay subscription, and buy all the expansions when they come out, and- I think we need a different word for it. Cyberpunk Phantom Liberty was a DLC, but it's like 25 quid, it's an expansion, and it's

this huge amount of work. Apparently, compared to... Everyone's quite impressed with it, it came out, what, two and a half years after Cyberpunk, but it sold about 5 million copies. Right. Now, Cyberpunk sold like 25 million. Yeah. So that's like a 20% attachment rate. But that's very, very, very high.

Unusually high. And obviously they put a lot of marketing behind it. And Cyberpunk didn't have the greatest launch either, right it was no worse had a really bad launch but they did they did a recent sort of victory lap where they sort of were very much like oh we've fixed it it's good now come play it yeah and i think everyone and i played it and really really enjoyed it and i think i heard that it is a lot of people recommend it now but i'm gonna be playing the dlc at the time it was just so hyped beyond any reasonable measure that i think people were just going to be disappointed no matter what but it had so many issues as well so you can understand why people

i'm hoping the starfield will do the same in two and a half years i was gonna i was just gonna say i could see something like that i think this this is all about the amount of- Another recent game that is going to be like that is Cities Skylines 2. It's had a fucking horrendous launch. Absolutely. Unfortunately, because the first game is such a good game. Another game with a bunch of DLC that if you were to come in now,

you'd say, God, that's a lot of money to spend. But the point is, if it's a game you really love and i loved city skylines loved it really excited for the second one we did a video for it it was fun to play it was fun it is a good it is a good base game it just has so many issues exactly exactly i know people saying that one of the issues is that they they'd pitch this idea of it's it's all connected and it's all you know the businesses it tries to be but it has so many so many um bugs that it just none of it works but even the bugs aside you can have unconnected industry and it'll still export

and import yeah like you can have a completely isolated so i i think a lot of the time with these games when they come out uh they've they've oversold it obviously before launch it's gonna do this it's gonna be wonderful i don't know if the programmers are involved i think it's just the marketing team are like looking at the original design these are business decisions they they they're hassling developers to say can you get it into this sort of shape and yeah the whole time they're probably like no not really but we'll try and yeah you're like we just need it out. Yeah.

Because the thing is, you know, it's going to make some money. People are going to buy it. They're going to be disappointed. But then much like Cyberpunk, you can do some big fix it patch two years down the line with the money that you've made from the new DLC that fixes it all. And people will be like, oh my God, it's back. And it's like you've had another launch. And I guess people love a comeback story.

It's like a game's comeback story. They do, but I think people, more so than a comeback story, love a nice, smooth launch and to have a game that was advertised to them, with the stuff that they advertised actually working. I mean, it's not... But do you think... I'd say it's not that difficult. Maybe it is difficult but

it is still kind of shitty it's shitty for people that were looking forward it's shitty for the people that pre-ordered i know like i know it's like a thing now where everybody's like never pre-order but like stuff like this doesn't help that case either right like it's it's less and less people will just pre-order now because you just don't know what you're going to get. So how much do you think this is about the complexity of games? I think I've spoken about this before. What people expect from a big game, especially a sequel to a game that they love,

that it has to have even more. And Skylines in particular is a tough one because at release it was pretty basic. It was fun. Yeah. But there really wasn't a huge amount to it. And was pretty basic it was fun yeah but there really wasn't a huge amount to it and the second one needs to live up to was a surprise success yeah i agree with that yeah and i think city of skylines 2 is a surprise failure yeah although

it has it's not really a favorite sold so many fucking copies yeah but it's got it's got people are expecting an awful lot from this game at launch. And that is hard to live up to, to encompass better than the original, which is tough because it's the best city builder there's ever been. So that's always a tough reach. I think they did a good job of kind of advertising before the game was launched, all the new features, which got people really excited. So their expectations were off of that quite high but i don't think that they were unreasonably high i don't think anybody expected you know anything

vastly vastly different of course you expect improvements over the first and i actually think at its core i think city skylines 2 is better than city skylines i think the mechanics for laying stuff down and yeah the road stuff there's a lot of stuff baked into the core of the game that makes it a lot better and easier to play and maybe um you know like if you if you took both games and you removed all the extras like i mean if you took city skylines one and you took all the mods and all of the dlcs away it's not great it's it's not it's not a fantastic game like the the things that made it so good was that it had a really active modding community oh god yeah they released a lot of content for it over the years and stuff like that and cities 2 could have had just a a less buggy

core and it would have been fine it would have been it would have gotten boring people would have just said you know well you know i'll come back to it when There's some DLC or whatever But the other problem is that they Want to do their own thing with modding They don't want to use the Steam Workshop They want to use their own thing And it's not ready and it won't be ready for months So nobody can even officially mod

The game to even try to help Fix any of these issues So you're just kind of stuck with them And there's a whole bunch of them that uh at first don't seem so bad but the bigger your city gets it becomes more apparent that things aren't working and that uh there's performance issues and slowdowns and your your city just dies because basically the traffic ai i mean the traffic ai is never going to solve your your bad road designs but there's a there's a balance in there somewhere as well right you you should still be able to have

some flowing traffic but like you've got people doing like uh you know precision parking maneuver holding up an entire lane of highway traffic like you know what i mean that you can't it's it's just it's stupid things like that that just kinda ruin it, you know? Oh, I wanna complain, actually. I wanna give a shit-out, which is the opposite of a shout-out, obviously, a shit-out, to G4 Security. Oh. Oh, I saw this tweet as well, actually.

Oh, I saw this tweet as well, yeah, you saw this tweet. Well here we go, I wanna spread this a little more. This is Witten High Street, I'm off to pick my daughter up from an appointment that she's got in the evening. Off to pick her up, there's a G4 van parked practically on a pedestrian crossing, just before it, on the zigzags, which is against the law. G4 security. Yeah, G4 security. G4S- Are they the private, like-

Yeah, they're the outsource for all of the banks and everything. They've done loads of stuff. They're the guys with the blue uniform for all of the banks and everything they've done loads of stuff they're the guys with the blue they do airport security everything yeah yeah they're shit um and they're just like a lot of this private shit where it's just all budget cuts and i'm sure the guys are getting paid fuck all but their staff need they need a fucking word with these boys that go and pick up the pennies from tesco uh in those those bags um your your van parked on this location caused over a half mile tailback of traffic there were bus drivers there were people getting out of their cars to see what the holdup was and i had i luckily got behind this guy just after he'd parked and was able to get around him by the time i picked her up and was coming back there was a half mile tailback

people literally getting out of their cars and shaking their heads and talking about what the fuck is happening while this yahoo had parked up it there was a loading base plot for him to go into i want to say it if there are van drivers out there listening to the triforce podcast don't i don't want to hear any fucking excuses what is it what is it with you lot and being lazy unbelievably lazy bastards. This guy is not some overworked Amazon driver. I don't give a fuck. I will open that can. Why is it that you guys park wherever the fuck? You're parking wherever and just like, fuck off, everybody.

I'm in a van. I can park wherever I want. No, you can't. No, you can't. There should be people going around with drones, getting fucking tickets, airdrop tickets onto these fuckers. Because I am, like a lot of road users, you could be a cyclist, you can be a pedestrian, you could be on a bus, youirdrop tickets onto these fuckers. Because I am, I like a lot of road users. You could be a cyclist.

You can be a pedestrian. You could be on a bus. You could be in a car, whatever. They are obnoxious. They will fucking stop anywhere. They will hold you up while they do their job as if their job is so fucking important. Oh, this person's Logitech steering wheel

has to be delivered. Fuck off. Fuck off. Park and then get out. Stop blocking the road for the rest of us. G4 or other, please stop. End of rant. Don't look.

It's probably just one guy who- No it's not! Do you reckon it's a guy who thinks that since he's joined this security firm, the rules don't apply to him, and it's like that thing that cops get where they get really- I feel like he's the guy who will quite happily pull over and block a bunch of traffic, But the moment he's inconvenienced in traffic, he's the asshole who's blaring the horn and he's out the window shouting and everything. They're assholes. They're assholes.

And this is not, I mean, this guy, obviously, I think if you call someone security and put them in a uniform, they think they're a police officer. So they're like, they're all starting to pry to me, mate. I've got to pick up these pennies from Tesco. So, you know, I've got, I haven't got time to park yeah you have yeah you have and it's more dangerous where he's parked anyway he's got to walk out into traffic to get back in his van idiot idiot anyway let's go most of these places have a um like a loading bay around back where where these guys should be going anyway like you're you're just pulling all this money right out onto the street like that yeah it seems a bit wild when you have like a secure loading bay at

the back and he was in there for a he was in there easily 15 20 minutes maybe he was buying his dinner and stuff too he's just doing a bit of shopping before he can park he can fucking park he's not he's not an ambulance he's not a police officer, this is not some emergency. He's just working, he's just trying to work like the rest of us, or get home like the rest of us. So have some fucking decency, and rub along with people in a nice way, go for your country. I'm looking forward to- Maybe that's the problem, maybe he doesn't have anywhere to go.

I'm looking forward to the mailbag- No, there won't be, there will all be support. There will all be support for that, I guarantee. Okay, no, good. Alright. Unlike Australia, my take on Australia, which I can tell you when we do the mailbag, oh, baby. Oh, baby.

What was the take again? I don't remember. We'll talk about it in the mailbag episode. Okay. Because otherwise I'll start digging. We'll get into it. Oh, one reference. This deserves a bigger shout out.

I said, Lewis, when you were talking about being on a plane and blowing it into your nose while it's pinched to pop your ears. Yes. You described that as the Valsalva Maneuver. And I said that wasn't the Valsalva Maneuver because I was used to that being a more vigorous thing. It is a form of the Valsalva Maneuver. Right.

So we're doing a shout out to fact checking. Successful fact. Shout out to the nurse that emailed it to me. And a shout out to parking where you shouldn't be parking exactly specifically van drivers but yes nice this christmas when you give someone a gift you want them to enjoy it immediately there's no long setup or batteries required or assembly that makes anyone frustrated there's so many reasons that i love aura frames but honestly like the quick setup might be my favorite.

I set mine up out the box. You start by downloading the Aura app for free, which takes no time to get the frame ready. And then you can set it to your Wi-Fi and get pictures uploading immediately. All your grandparents have to do is unbox the frame and plug it in. Super simple. Wirecutter called it the best digital picture frame. It's such a great gift, even for the most tech unsavvy people in your life. That's me. I'm the most tech unsavvy in my whole life.

I do love my aura frame. Genuinely, we gave them to everyone. So my sisters got one, my mum's got one, and we could just share pictures of the kids to it. And that's grandparent crack right there. You know what I mean? They love that. They're just sitting there and suddenly new pictures pop up oh and it's their grandkids they're

like oh look at that i'm so happy in their school uniform and then you get a whatsapp message or a facebook message say just received this wonderful picture of my fabulous granddaughter and they're happy and you're happy and it's minimal effort that's the way i put it minimal effort that's the key is the minimal effort. Everybody loves minimal effort. And it is genuinely very easy to set up. So we love the Aura Frame. Thank you so much. Give the perfect gift this holiday season by visiting AuraFrames.com today

and get $30 off their best-selling frames with the code TRIFORCE. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com, promo code TRIFORCE. The frames sell out quickly, though though so get yours before they're gone terms and conditions apply on with the show regarding um controllers there is a this is one for spiff i think if you're listening spiff yorkshire yorkshire t is selling 150 pound yes place i will not be purchasing that here's the description for the controller. Try explaining that one to your wife, Flex. Picture the scene. You're facing down a boss with three heads and a hammer as big as a truck.

Armed with nothing but a rusty sword you looted from a guard. Gulping, you look down at the controller in your hands, wondering if victory is even possible. And then you see it. The reassuring branding of your favorite team yes you say to yourself yes i can i can do this oh my god man i i love that that's that's great um good good viral advertising for yeah that's smart uh ever since spiff wrapped his tesla in yorkshire tea livery i have greatly enjoyed the joke i don't know it just feels so like yorkshire tea the

branding is so old it is old isn't it man they have not they have not changed it in so long it's just yeah what is there to change it's perfect it is perfect it's a great font it's a great name yeah it's a great brew too i mean you, you can't- It's my favorite. Yorkshire Gold is my absolute favorite tea. This podcast, there's the shout out for the episode. There's the shout out, Yorkshire Tea. Not the shit out. Yeah.

Sadly, so there is a few products that I would like to have sponsor my stream. Yorkshire Tea would be one of them. It's not going to happen because I don't drink tea anymore, I drink coffee. But the other was Magna's. Did I tell you guys i reached out to magnus no this was a few years ago i emailed magnus and said oh sorry i i twitter dm'd them and i was like hey uh is there any chance that you guys would sponsor my stream blah blah blah they're like no you should have replied back say i'm never drinking your fucking stupid cider ever again so fuck off this was this was may 31st of last year

at 1.12pm. Hi there, Magnus. Was just wondering if you were interested in any kind of sponsorship for my Twitch stream. I drink Magnus on stream a lot and whenever anyone asks

what I'm drinking, I tell them, delicious Magnus. This is all true, I assure you. Let me know if this is something you're interested in. Like, I did this as a joke

while I was streaming. Within six minutes, they replied, Hi, thanks for your message. Unfortunately, unfortunately, we receive many requests of sponsorship each week and we aren't able to fulfill them all best of luck with your streaming thanks magnus and i said is this an automated reply and they replied hey no it's not thanks shut me down straight away i was gutted nice well well at least you tried yeah i was like you know this is a

product i i do use a lot and love magnus and would be would love to have magnus the only street twitch stream sponsored by magnus i could think of will be hype yeah won't happen sadly hey i at one point in uh in my twitch streaming career i got an offer through to do a hashtag ad for Subway There's like some new like Big Melt or something that was coming out And so they wanted me to do a stream with like all of this fucking stuff on the screen Like you know about the Subway Big Melt And there's like some slogan they wanted me to shout out every like 15 minutes And they wanted me to do a competition where

people could win coupons to go buy a Big Melt and stuff. And I thought it sounded so fucking funny and I was super up for it, and then it just like never materialized. I was kind of disappointed. It would have been so good. Oh my god, I love that. The idea that you're just blasted by the fucking guys. Yeah, go buy a fucking Big Melt!

Every 15 minutes! Oh man. Sorry guys, my new Big Melt's been delivered, I'm gonna have to go pick it up. It's like, oh. You're constantly getting a Big Melt every half an hour. Oh man. So, this Christmas, for the first year ever, kids want digital currency and subscriptions more than new games.

Wow! They want V-Bucks, they want Robux. Kids want digital currency and subscriptions more than new games. Wow. They want V-Bucks, they want Robux. They want all the game currencies and what? They want subscriptions. Yes. Like Twitch and YouTube subscriptions. 39% of- Fuck.

Yeah. Yeah, want subscriptions. That's good news. Man, 2024 is going to be great, hopefully. I didn't even know they were watching us, sadly. I hope those kids are watching me. So they asked 10-17 year old kids in the US what they want for Christmas. 72% said something to do with video games, 39% said game subscriptions.

Because a couple of years ago, all the rage was they wanted broadcasting equipment right to to stream or do youtube or do they all want to get in or whatever everybody wanted to get in on it and i'm sure that's still the case but i think people now are realizing that it's quite difficult right it's very saturated there's a lot of people doing it and it's yeah and essentially there's a huge barrier to entry now well no there's, there's not really. The equipment is cheaper than ever now, right? Reframe that as there's no barrier to entry, but there is a

big barrier to success. Yes. Gosh. Yeah, that's what I meant. It's really hard to... It's always been hard, but I think it's easier than ever now to... The algorithms are good at picking up what is good and what people want. And I think it's easy than ever now to, the algorithms are good at picking up what is good and what people want.

And I think, I'm not saying this is the case, but I think it does happen. Like, look at what Tom Bates did with his really cool animations. That sort of went separately viral on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. It took different times to do it, but it sort of blew up on each of the platforms separately. Right, but Lewis, you're thinking of the success of that as evidence that the algorithm works,

and I would agree with you. But what we're talking about here is young kids thinking that if they get the gear and copy other streamers, that they will make it. And that's not true. Some kids are very, very talented, though. Right, exactly. I mean, look at TommyInnit. He was like 16 when he started doing this stuff. Exactly. And he's got true. Some kids are very, very talented. Right, exactly.

Like Tommy Innet, he was like 16 when he started doing this stuff. Right, exactly. And got huge, huge, huge, huge. I'm pretty sure that all these guys that are successful, and you could look at them, some of them just had the right time, right game, like XQC blew up with Fortnite. Dr. Disrespect blew up because he got into games like PUBG just when that was blowing up. But they also had something about them that set them apart from every other guy doing the same thing.

And whenever people ask me how you can get into streaming, I always say the same thing. And bear in mind, I am not a big streamer. Obviously, I'm a small streamer. But the point is, I can at least see what sets apart people who have much bigger audiences. And it's either that they do something unique, that they are extremely good at games, because if you're a pro Dota player, for example, and you decide to become a streamer, as long as you're playing in those high level pubs and playing at a high level and are very good, people will

watch you. But you have to have a USP. You have to do something unique, or be bringing an audience with you from something else. From YouTube, say. Yeah. You're not wrong. Or because you're already famous. So I would say to all those kids who were saying, I want to make it as a streamer, and I've spoken to young kids about this, I want to be a streamer.

I was like, okay, what are you going to do? Fortnite. I was like, all right, well, you're not going to make it. Like, I'm sorry, but that ship has already sailed. There are already huge Fortnite streamers out there. You need to think of something that sets you apart. You either need to pick a game that's going to blow up and become the guy known for that yeah or you i mean frankly like the yogs cast and minecraft the first big minecraft channel right right game right time right combination of guys no one had done this before it's it's

very difficult to say you can just copy what everyone else is doing and you'll be a success because that's like saying you know somebody a fucking superhero movie came out and made a bunch of money now everybody complained about all these studios just making superhero movies and they're not all making it because it's saturated already you need to be the first to do something new that's what i think you're right that's the real success but i think that people can make a living off being the second, third, fourth, fifth, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth of these. And there's plenty of them making a living out of it. And you know that there's more room in Fortnite streaming

than XQC. Oh my God, there's tons of other big streams. You need to do something like YouTube Shorts, TikTok, that draws people to your stream. I agree. And do you know what it's it's it's a very oversaturated dream goal it's like you know oh i get to play video games all day my favorite video games you know all day i mean if you're it's we're very lucky that we are able to be caught play whatever we want right yeah we can

play and we're very lucky that we're variety streamers but like you said a lot of people have to play a game that they hate you know you can see the sadness on a lot of these hearthstone people still playing those games do you mean but they haven't got a choice i i i read a story this week about a chinese live streamer who died after streaming too much apparently um there's been a couple of those over the years there's definitely been people who have overdone it but they all they had underlying health concerns already which which you know didn't didn't help sort of thing right like yeah or did help i suppose in in finishing them off but yeah i'm sure it's comparatively it's not exactly the most dangerous job to have no um

you're not a hot air balloon pilot no without your weights either those brave i don't know where i'm coming down but uh yeah it's a weird one i i was thinking about uh streaming well i think about it a lot because i i stream a lot but um this weekend uh it's my son's birthday which means that uh however whole however old he is and he's gonna be 12 is how long i've been doing like youtube and twitch stuff for 12 years man if i had to go out into the real world and somebody asked me what i was doing for the last 12 years 12 fucking years is a long time to be doing anything i think about this a lot like what if this ended all this stuff ended what what do i do like i go for a job and i'm like they're like

what have you been doing for 12 years well playing video games and streaming i mean i assume that if i do get a job after this if i decide you know like let's say tomorrow something happens and i can't do streaming anymore i get cancelled or you, you know, I decide it's too much or just nobody watches or whatever. And I have to get a job. I figure I would at least have a decent amount of experience being behind the scenes. And maybe I would get a job like that.

But I don't know. It would be tough going to a Dota event. This is one of our eternal fears. We all have this okay a context this is the conjugator's worst nightmare is to go back go back into the real world okay but listen to this because i've always thought that this was the case at least for me during this 12 years or when it was six years or when it was five years or whatever i realized that something happened to me during that time which made me the ideal person to go back into

the world of work and therefore i'm not scared of it because i think what's happened after doing this for so long i is i've got the my city planning skills no no no no no no you give me too much credit i've been somehow turned into the guy from office space you know when he gets hypnotized and then the dude dies like before he snaps him out of it i feel like i feel like for the rest of my life i will approach work like the guy from office space quite happily as well i don't think i would ever i thought i thought you meant the guy i was told I could play my radio with a reasonable volume. I don't think I would ever sweat another drop working now that I've done this comfortably for like 12 years or whatever. If I had to go back and work somewhere, I would not give a fucking shit.

Are you saying that you've gotten away with it for so long? I would turn up late all the time. I would get fired all the time and i just wouldn't give so what you're saying is you've made enough money from streaming that essentially you wouldn't be worried about paying the rent if you got fired because that that's what you're essentially saying is that oh i wouldn't give a fuck it's like that's essentially essentially yeah but still even if i hadn't made enough money i would still feel the same way because now that i'm older no now that i'm older like you like certain things you you just don't really care about anymore when as you get older you could go on fucking celebrity ice skating you

could go on the celebrity apprentice you're big enough for those fucking no no i don't want to do any of that stuff i i just what if i had to go back and work like at a grocery store or whatever, oh my God, like it would just be, it'd be insane. It might be nice. It might be nice working as like a postman, getting up in the morning, delivering some papers. Oh my God, man. I told Mrs. F many times I would want a job where I just have an office and a secretary.

I don't care what the job is. I'll do it. It could be the dullest thing ever. Yeah, I want a secretary. No. Sheila, hold my calls. Like, I just want that what the job is. I'll do it. It could be the dullest thing ever. Yeah, I want a secretary. No. Sheila, hold my cause. Like, I just want that button that you push. I want something where I'm outside with just a bunch of guys swearing.

I don't care what we're doing. Right. As long as we're like fucking animals out there, you know? Like, just turning up and spitting and pissing in a ditch and stuff. That's me. I want to be there. That's what I want to do. So you want to be a builder, basically?

I wanna take a dump in a field, and then just get right back to slaggin' someone off with the guys. Like a wolf whistling, and parkin' your van in the street and putting a tailback. Absolutely. I've got some sad news, I think one of my neighbours, one of my older neighbours died, sadly. Fucking hell, man. You should've waited til we were on the balloon to tell us that. No no, this is moving on to this bit. one of my neighbors um one of my older neighbors died sadly um you think hell man you should have

waited till we were on the balloon no no this is moving on to this bit this is wait till after the podcast i didn't know them right i didn't know them this is this is coming back to what you're saying there were some guys yesterday big lads clearing out their garden like the back garden of this old fella and presumably i think they're doing a house clearance of the house. These lads were cussing and grunting and swearing for like two hours. Yeah. And that is what you're exactly talking about. They turned up.

They were all just wearing mismatched build of gear. One of them had a donkey jacket. One of them had a high-vis jacket for some reason. They all had weird hats. They all had a cigarette on the go, drinking cups of tea cups of tea and they're like oh it's good to work you're like yeah like noises like that while they're working yeah you love that i fucking love that i want to yeah well they hate it yeah but they they haven't been streaming for 12 years that's that's the big difference i mean now i've known another life so you know for me to do that now,

I'd be like, yeah, this is great. It'd be like a novelty, you know? I mean, there'd be a honeymoon period. Probably after a year or two, I'd be ready to move on. I'd say after a week, after a week, you'd be praying in the garage again.

So Sips, we need you to have a look at this giant shit pipe. Oh, I'm out. I'm out. I just looked at one of the last week boring oh fuck i'd like i'd like if you just continually got hired for some reason i know they were all like oh we know this guy this is mr quit he's like i quit one week into every job there he goes quitting again no i feel like i feel like

you got a better chance just not not giving a crap you know like i feel like if you turned up somewhere to get in a job interview yeah if you got a job interview and you turned up and and they're like so why do you want this job and you're just like i don't really want it i just i have to work and i just you know you guys asked me to come in so here I am but like I don't care either way so like whatever you have a very romantic view of jobs I think they'd be like this is the guy for us

this guy this guy does we can't make him give a shit what's wrong we have to figure him out and then they'd hire me they think they could break you that you think it's like a i think they want to change him that's the that's and i think i think when people come in and they're groveling they're like this person's already broken this is not fun for us needy

he wants it too much we're looking for people that don't want it so that we can break them you know like i feel like that's a thing at in the world of work i've seen it firsthand people some people thrive on breaking other people or at least trying you know so hey i've got a question uh lulu i want to date and update you had any dates no i've been on two dates this week oh in one week this guy this fucking well it's the week before i know i'm not gonna be able to see anyone for the next two weeks so if you got a couple of dates lined up do you ever just sort of does it ever slip out like when you're talking to someone you'd be like oh well if this doesn't

work out i got another date on wednesday so it doesn't matter too much again feeding into what i was saying about people wanting to break you or whatever maybe that could be seen as attractive while you're doing your dating if you just pretend like you don't care. Yeah, or do you do that thing like that old sitcom trope where you have two dates at the same time and they're both very different, and you have to drop between them? I feel like that is an episode of Frasier. Oh, 100%. So were they with two different ladies?

Yes. Did they go well? Oh, sorry, I just assumed that they were with two different ladies? Yes. Did they go well? Oh, sorry, I just assumed that they were with two different ladies. Yeah, well, I think they both went well, yeah. Like, maybe? Have you heard back from either? What's your measure of success? I think, do you know what?

Sex. I've become a little bit like Sips with this. It was like, I had- yesterday I had some, I came back from the hot air balloon, I was a bit late, because it took, like, an hour and a half to put this fucking balloon away, because we landed in this- Wait, you had to help him put the balloon away? Well, we got, first of all, we landed a field, right? So then we had to, like, move the balloon to, like, an area where we could, like, deflate the balloon safely, you know, get it to the tree.

You're helping him do this? Well, it was only me, Duncan, and the guy in the balloon. Yeah, but what fucking- I paid for a balloon rider, I don't wanna fucking work for the balloon guy! I didn't pay for the balloon rider, we did as charity! Oh, fair enough. I wasn't listening to that part. We're in this fucking field.

If you ever had to go back to the world of work, do you think maybe being a hot air balloon conductor would be a fun job for you? Oh my god, yes. Is that what they're called? A balloonist. A pilot, I assume. A pilot. An inflationist. It you? Oh my god, yes. Is that what they're called? A balloonist. A pilot, I assume. A pilot. An inflationist.

He's not a real pilot, though. I didn't wanna not call him a pilot. You get an A380 pilot next to a balloon conductor, and you say, you're both pilots, I think that the jumbo jet guy's gonna be like, nah, sorry. Do you know what they're called? This man is not a pilot. Do you know what the pilot of an air balloon is called? An aeronaut.

Okay, that's... Ooh, God. That's pretty tight. That's like the sandwich artiste of aviation. Yeah. I mean, could you imagine going on a date and telling someone you're an aeronaut? And they say, ooh, what's that? You say, oh yeah, I pilot hotonaut. And they say, ooh, what's that? You say, oh, yeah, I pilot

hot air balloons. And they're like, ooh. Would you pilot my hot air balloons right now? I'd like you to fill me with hot gas. I'm attracted to women with large breasts for no reason at all.

Fucking hell. Oh my god. Man, if only the guy told you that story instead of the one about the dude dying before you went up, you'd go up with such high spirits, you know? Yeah, so anyway, I got my chores done. I was like, I had to take some piece of art to be framed as presents, I had to go and pick up some stuff from the costume shop. Yeah, so I was like, do you mind if we just pop in here? You were doing errands on the date?! I know, it's a bit of a faux pas. That's dog shit, mate.

That's dog shit. So you did that, and you think that these dates went well? Yeah, well, they both wanna see me again, so... Well, you got some errands done, mate, so, you know. Jesus Christ. And I got the errands done. Maybe you're tapping into a niche, like, you know, like, hey, yeah, it worked out well last time, so I just saved up a bunch of errands to run on the date.

Well, I think that's dreadful. There's a big turn on for you. If I went on a date, and my date was like, I just need to pop into the post office, I'd be like, why? I wanted to go and have a date, and instead we're like a couple already. Well, weirdly, the date I had yesterday, she got into it. She was like, can I just pop in here and do some shopping? So I helped her carry her shopping bag.

That would be a big backfire. Where did helped her carry her shopping bag. That would be a big backfire. Where did she want to go shopping? Oh, it was the... The dildo store. A health food shop. Health food shop, I'm out. Health food shop isn't that bad.

Clothes shopping is... No, it was just like a bag of coconut flakes and stuff you have to cook them with. You know, my son is old enough now where he will very loudly, audibly groan when my wife says, can we go into this clothing shop to look at something. Aww, he's got that from the telly, though. He must, yeah, but he's like, ahhh!

Like, he hates it, it's so funny. No, he's right, it sucks. Shopping with women sucks. It does suck. Sorry ladies, but it's true. Oh my god. No, he's right. It sucks. Shopping with women sucks. Sorry, ladies, but it's true. My God. I went shopping, actually, when we were in... When I was in Seattle, I had to pick up some things,

and I bumped into some friends out in town, and I said, I'm just going to pop clothes shop, and they're like, I'll see you later. Within an hour, I've got everything I need, and I'm back at the hotel. They're like, you're back already? I was like, yes. Yes, because the way we shop is, we go into a clothes shop,

we're like, oh, that looks nice. I'll try it on nice i got some shoes the other day i got i got two pairs two for one it was a sale on shoes i've never had two for one shoes before but i got two of the exact same pair of shoes oh so when uh one pair runs out the other one's ready to go you normally get i wouldn't have done that no i never do i would have got two different ones. No, I didn't. Well, I would have got two of the same and then another two of the same. You know what I mean? Yeah, I got an Ernest wardrobe now.

Ernest P. Worrell. You know, I got the same damn shirt. Ernest P. Worrell. Yeah. A reference that we don't know. Oh, from Ernest Goes to whatever. Ernest Goes to Camp. God, they made a lot of these. Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Goes to the Moon- God, they made a lot of these!

Ernest Goes to the Dentist, Ernest Scared Stupid- They made Ernest Goes to Camp, Ernest Saves Christmas, Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Scared Stupid, Ernest Rides Again, Ernest Goes to School, Slam Dunk Ernest, Ernest Goes to Africa, and Ernest in the Army, and then a TV show called Hey Vern, It's Ernest. And a bunch of scrapped films. Here's the thing. Ernest Wardrobe is seven copies of the same grey t-shirt, and he's got like a denim vest, I think? Or maybe it's a jean jacket, I'm not sure.

So, changing subject, Christmas presents, right? How dare you. I don't know if you've bought any yet, but I haven't. And I saw this thing, I'll post it in the chat, but it's a Tiffany & Co. line of Pokemon jewelry. Right. Now, some of it's costing up to like $29,000. It's nuts.

They're working with artist Daniel Arsham. Yes. That's the first funny part. But the second part is if you scroll down to the Pikachu pendant, it's got like, diamonds encrusted in it. Yeah. But it kinda looks like he's got a skin disease. Yeah, it does!

That's horrible. It does, yeah. It looks like he's got some flaking. Some heavy flaking some heavy flaking it's like if if if like trinobo levels a really bad case yeah of like psoriasis all over his body and you were like oh that poor pikachu um listen to the i mean you might think this is a bit of fun but listen to the statement my latest collaboration with tiffany and co is a combination of pop culture fine jewelry and art this is his statement arsons.

Pokemon has had an immense presence ever since I was a child, and this capsule collection celebrates the influence Pokemon has had in my work and my longstanding partnership with a heritage brand like Tiffany. Both are inextricable from the cultural footprint of the past, present, and future. With my latest project,

he would say project, with Tiffany, we've recontextualized pokemon a nod to my 2022 a ripple in time project in tokyo to orchestrate a new narrative with pokemon and tiffany itself there's a sense of cultural permanence about each so this isn't just a bit of fun this cunt thinks he's done something serious it's for the pokemon jewelry isn't it the biggest wankery thing you've ever heard i hate it so much. Just dive into it being a bit of fun. Just lean into that.

Don't make out this is some cultural touchstone. Fuck off. You made, you fucking stuck a bunch of diamonds on a golden Pokemon and now you're wanking yourself off about it. Fuck off. I'm livid. Me too. Well, good. The perfect place to end the podcast. Thank you so much for listening.

And fuck you as well. Fuck you! You're awesome! Alright, goodbye!