Triforce! - Triforce! #278: The Gregg Wallace Diet

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Triforce! Episode 278! Flax is building Yog Bunker to survive the apocalypse, Sips lied to us all and watched The Apprentice and we look at some of the craziest celebrity age gaps! Our friends at Beer52 are offering you a FREE case of 8 new and exclusive beers from across the world. Simply go to www.beer52.com/TRIFORCE and cover just £5.95 postage to claim your beers now! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. and lewis and flax and we're back boy are we feisty today i think how's it going chaps i uh i've got a i've got a question for you guys all right when i was trying to get to sleep last night and i was imagining uh i've been watching a few sort of older movies lately in my in my spare time and one of the ones i watched that i love this film the andromeda strain have you seen it i i've never seen the movie but i read the book So the book's really good, of course. Yeah, it was good. Michael Crichton, I think. Yeah.

So the film is a classic of this sort of the era. It's quite slow, it's quite sort of methodical, but then it ramps up the drama as it goes on. It's well worth a watch, but the whole point is that this satellite returns to Earth and it's got something mysterious on it. They think it might be some kind of disease and it wipes out this town. That's how the film opens. That's how the book opens with them seeing this town.

Everyone's dead apart from two people. So it's like a nice little mystery, a sort of science mystery thing. Yes. But my favorite bit is when he's introducing them to the facility where he's like, this is level four where we eat and dine. And of course, everything is completely sterile you know and he's sort of running them through this perfectly planned uh sort of virus facility where it's got like a nuclear bomb underneath so that if if the virus is about to get out they can blow it up like it's all this kind of setup that you can tell michael

crichton sat down and penned out, hmm, if I was designing some kind of potentially deadly space virus facility, what would it look like? Okay. Yeah. So I was thinking, you know, what if there was like some kind of safe haven underground that we were designing that would ensure the future of humanity should some catastrophe be about to strike? There might even be something like this already, but I was just imagining-

They have a couple of them in the US, right? They've got some underground facilities for the president and the high ups to retreat to in case of a nuclear war. Of course. A big thing, especially during the Cold War, was the continuity of the government throughout, right? They needed to survive a nuclear war and then rebuild afterwards and make sure that they rebuild faster than the soviets and

so i think though they do exist there's a there's a bunch of them i don't know how big can they be is my point so i'm thinking i'm sure they have got all these bunkers i'm pretty sure one of them is like in a mountain or something like yes so i'm saying we'll need more than that because we're going to need to preserve more stuff. How many people are you looking to save? Well, this is what I'm saying. We need to plan this. I think they only wanted to save about 10 people, you know? They're really important people. Just 10 guys. They're not concerned with saving millions, you know? think they they just sort of said we probably need about 20 20

important people to keep the whole thing running and 19 victoria's secret models that's right yeah that's how we're gonna that's how we're gonna reproduce uh post post post-nuclear war we're going to i am going to have sex with every one of those models multiple, multiple times over the course of many years. It's very Doctor Strangelove, isn't it? That's not actually good though. It has to be a minimum of like 50 individuals to repopulate. Right. You'd need two rams as well, right?

Two rams? You need two rams and then you'd probably need to do some- you might need to do some ball cutting off of and stuff with the babies. What are you talking about? Well, you know, because you don't want them like having sex with their sisters and stuff as well, you know? Like, if it- it's going to be a weird society. They're not going to have a lot of- well, I suppose they will have way more time to explain why it's not good to have sex with your sister, I guess.

Because you've got nothing else to do down there. You know what I mean? So like, maybe it's not such a concern, you know? Why do we need rams? I'm sorry, who are we trying to repopulate here? I think he's saying that you just need two men to repopulate and a whole bunch of women. Yes.

I don't think that's how it works. I don't think that's how it works. I don't think that's how it works. I think it'd be fine, they could run the numbers, I think it would work out. I think if you had like, even if you had like 500 women, and you didn't fuck each other, I think the genetic inbreeding would be out of control very quickly. Yeah, because essentially every child is gonna be a cousin, right? Or a stepbrother, or a stepsister.

Everyone's a cousin yeah so whatever um genetic uh problems you you've got the two rams you are automatically handing down to every future generation so you need an equal number of of men and women and you need genetically diverse so you want people from all over the world um so here was my question right let's imagine that we build this underground haven and let's imagine that we we find some huge cave underground huge system of caves and we sort of smooth it all out we put support structures in it's in an area with low tectonic activity so it's very unlikely it's going to be like earthquakes or anything like that like billion to one chance right um it's stable and secure structurally.

We're going to have elevator shafts leading back up to the surface. But, you know, it's going to be very, very controlled about who can go up there and stuff like that. Because I watched Silo, and in Silo, it's kind of like a shitty end of this, like where the Silo sucks. Like, it's awful.

But I'm thinking, how could we design one that would actually be good? And I was thinking that the biggest problem you're going to have, let's say we can get the structure, we can get water from underground springs that are all uncontaminated. We've got a way to grow food down there. For a start, everyone's going to have to move to a plant-based diet because we can't afford the space for animals and raising livestock and stuff like that. Maybe this is how we convince him, Lewis.

Maybe this is how we get him around. Yeah, just a little apocalypse and you're right, I'm on the vegetarian train. But I'm thinking if there's underground, if there's water areas, we could potentially have fish and other aquatic things down there that we could eat. So we might be able to have fish farms and things like that. We've solved light, we've got ultraviolet lights or whatever to replicate the sun so we can grow plants. We have geothermal power, all of those things.

But do you guys think, I was thinking about skill sets and skills. We've got all these people, we get the very best doctors, the very best engineers, the very best scientists and computer technicians and all of these things, mechanics, everything to keep everything running. If you have a distribution curve of all the doctors in the world, say, and you get the best few, you're only ever going to get worse, aren't you, when it comes to skills? Or in future. Yeah. So my concern is that the population spread that we get in the early years might well

be really functional and amazing and everybody's brilliant at what they do and you know you get good personality type so maybe the best doctor in the world is a bit of a dick so you get the second best yeah he's a really you know good guy and you sort of feel like all right cool so we balance this out but the the next generation of doctors and mechanics and all the rest of it you're just gonna have to hope that they're gonna be as good as these ones and if they're not then you've got the middle of the pack by definition they're gonna be average over time it'll just get it'll get progressively worse as the inbreeding intensifies i don't i'm i'm i think we're gonna we're gonna counter the inbreeding we're gonna say that we have a very careful system.

I don't know if you can, actually. I think you could. I think you could. You'd have to mark people. I think the whole thing is doomed. I think it's like a slow ticking time bomb of inbreds down there. There's a thing called the minimal viable population, and that says that you need about 500 individuals to stop drift, genetic drift.

Anyway, I think what you're talking about here is very similar to the idea of like um a generation ship going right to colonize another yeah solar system or something like what's the exactly yeah uh like the the idea as well is like i don't think it's very hard to tell who the best doctor is right or the best at something is right because people are limited by their own ability that's got to be dr dr dray right he's got to be the best we have this miside mis mis idea in in in in the people are inherently better than others um it really does depend doesn't it on on situations and luck and i think if you got the best doctor i doubt that that would make more than a 10 difference based off like an average doctor you know to his performance if you like or keeping people alive but you don't really need that in this situation you just need people to survive long enough to have reproduced and you know and not have the whole thing fall apart like yeah

like obviously living in space is going to fuck you up in a number of ways you're going to get all the cosmic rays and you're going to be in zero gravity or who knows what you're going to be eating weird shit. You're not going to be getting... Even UV light won't give you the same experience as living on Earth. You probably won't live as long or you'll die earlier in space. But does that matter if you die five years earlier? You don't live to 80?

Probably not. I think there's the whole... It's a whole can of worms and a whole overly complicated nightmare. But we need to create this balance. We've got 10,000 years until we- You'd have to preserve the knowledge that exists on the internet as well. So you have huge knowledge bases. There's a lot of information. You save everything that you can. Yeah. You know,

the seed bank, I think it's in Norway, that seed bank that they've got, believe it or not, it's for plant seed. It's not a sperm bank. It's like seeds.

You have that. You know, you have one of those secure. So as much stuff as we can get from the surface that we're going to need later, we stuff it down underground.

We're going to lose almost all animal life. Well, the other thing we're going to lose is almost all our ability to create things. The reason why we have such powerful computers and such good knowledge and such things that let us have this modern life is because there's so many of us and so diverse and so much economies of scale. So many things being done on this huge scale.

If you had to go back and make your own food, for example, if you had to make your own food in your garden, you'd make a lot less food overall than if a company was doing it. And it's that same idea for technology. You're never going to be able to, with your 500 people in the fallout bunker, recreate an iPhone. That's just not going to happen. No, we are spoiled for resource up here as well, right? But it's for almost everything. Even steel, you might not have the space to make, because that's made in such a huge...

These huge spaces, these huge factories, using huge amounts of resources, like limestone and things. Exactly. Food production itself, I think people underestimate the scale required. Even for 500 people would be enormous. You'd have to grow and maintain so much food and there'd be no margin for error either you'd have to really be spot on with it like i don't think it's i think people kind of think yeah that's important but like uh they

automatically when they're talking about this kind of stuff they're like how are we gonna make uh smartphones while we're down there it's like well you're not you're you're going to be struggling to eat and you'll die within like five years probably you're not gonna do anything fun down there it'll be really miserable you've got to understand like maybe it's been set up so there's way more food being grown than there are people and that could be a good setup but if you let uncontrolled population growth, it will grow to the size that can be fed. That is how things work. Like everything that we have around us, I was thinking about this this week,

and I don't know how true it is, but I feel like everything around us is a product of evolution and taking the path of least resistance. Everyone, everything we see around us is largely due to people just doing the easiest thing. Yeah, well, I mean, we've created convenience over a very long period of time, right? So that we don't have to do all the hard stuff anymore, right? Like, in modern life, I mean, we don't really know how to do anything. We take pretty much everything for granted, right? The fact that everything just works and that we're able to order food to our house whenever

we want to and do all these things and stuff. Well, we've just become uniquely specialized. We just wouldn't have a clue. It's not like, when you say we, you mean me, you and- Yeah. Yeah. Normal people. But it does apply to everyone.

Middle class people from and people. Yeah, yeah. Normal people. But it does apply to everyone. Middle class people from the West. Yeah. Because obviously there are people who actually have specialised and do make these things happen. They're very, very smart people. I'm not saying there are very smart people.

We're not getting in. Like, I'm not being funny. We ain't getting in, lads. Yeah, well, what if they want somebody? What if they need some, they need to watch eight hours of Farming Simulator every day, though? I feel like I would be good in that.

What if they need someone who knows about all the 80s sci-fi movies? Yeah, true, true. They might want to do a pub quiz down there and- There might be some- They might regret not taking us in. Maybe the aliens would be listening to all the transmissions from the 60s and 70s, and your knowledge of cinema, P-Fflax is exactly what we need to communicate well i think all the references it's possible but i might be on the uh on the controversial list given my uh my film viewing

at the weekend i saw poor things poor things poor things it's uh it had emma stone and uh william defoe and uh Mark Ruffalo. Right. And it's directed by the guy who directed The Favourite. You've seen that. That's a really good film. Never. With Olivia Colman in. Right.

Have you been watching the flipping award-winning movies? Because I also saw you saw the other one, the French one. Anatomy of a Fall. Yeah. So Anatomy of a Fall is superb. It's a really, really good film. Very simple set-up. Is this because of the BAF superb. It's a really, really good film. Very simple set up.

Is this because of the BAFTAs? Or like, Oscar season? No, no, no. I mean, Mrs. F was like, do you want to watch this film, An Atom of a Fall? It's meant to be good. I was like, sure. For poor things, Mrs. F was like, do you want to come to the Everyman Cinema at the weekend? Just you know, we'll leave the kids with someone and we'll go to the movies.

I was like, hell yeah. And the Everyman Cinemas um uh this was down in isha so just south of me it's um instead of being regular cinema seating it's like big sofas so you're sitting with the person you go with like on a little sofa right you've got enough room to stretch your legs out fully in front of you a little foot rest and there's table service wow two man two man sofas it's a cinema full of two man sofas where there's a couple of single seats as well this sounds great it's amazing they will bring you beer and chips wow they have burger and stuff yeah so you can get food and all the rest of it i like that the table service seems to be only before the film starts but then after that you can slide out and get a couple of beers and come back like it's it's really and it's so wide you're not like excuse me um people having to stand up and shit you can just

scuttle out yeah um it's fantastic really really nice good screen good sound very comfy uh loved it absolutely loved it really good cinemas uh and also just nice inside it kind of has like a it's got like a bar at the front so you could just chill there after the movie and have a couple of drinks or be up there before like it's really really good it's got like a low lighting chic vibe it's very low light it's well done there's one in bristol and i went i recently to see um the new ghibli which was which was typical typical ghibli movie of feels like a normal movie wasn't quite sure where it was going because there was it's called the boy and the heron wasn't sure where it was going but then it turned into the ads for that one yeah it turns into a typical thing right because yeah but it doesn't it doesn't

so i felt like the i don't want to spoil it no no it's very it's very long and slow and then they introduced this classic ghibli world but in a way that to me when i watch spirited away i feel like we're getting into the interesting part quite early on i felt like the boy and the heron was extremely slow and i thought it was going to be a different kind of movie me too instead it's suddenly just so it's almost like it's a it's going to be something interesting slow but interesting and then it just falls face first into regular old Ghibli. But it's like they've tried to squeeze that entire film into just the second half of this film. That's what it felt like.

So I didn't know what I was going into at all. And I thought it was going to be, because this starts off, there's quite a lot of little references to the war going on. Yeah, yeah. I thought we were going to have a Grave of the Fireflies situation. It was going to be a real sad, sad one. But but no it just immediately sort of goes to the dream world let's just do all the fantasy shit but instead it's like he he continually meets characters and then they're

discarded meets character discarded meets character discarded and it sort of sets up all this stuff with like one sentence now we're so now we have to go through this door. Like it's, it's one of those films where the rules, if you like of the universe are laid out to you for, for like a second at a time. And then we move on and that doesn't matter anymore. So it's like, don't look back or you'll turn into a goblin too.

Don't touch the tomatoes or you'll have to fly. You know, it's like this kind of just word salad of rules. And then there's characters in it played by like quite big name actors who seem to have like two or three lines and everyone's acting like oh my god it's so so they're so important but as an audience member you're like we just met this guy like how am i meant to fucking know anything about the king of the budgies when we just made two seconds ago so the king of the budgies is i feel like i'm on drugs right now

i know that's what it feels like. But yeah, Dave Bautista, William Dafoe, Florence Pugh, Mark Hamill, Christian Bale, Karen Fukuhara, and Robert Pattinson. Mark Hamill is a great voice actor. He's great. He's really good. Yeah, it's like a who's who of characters. I'm constantly sat up in my seat, I was like, is that- that can't be Christian Bale.

Is that- no. Is it? Okay. sat up in my seat i was like is that that can't be christian bale is that no is it okay i just felt like it had an interesting ish setup but then it just kind of you you meet and lose people so fast you just kind of like all right if that oh it's meant to be like that because you're meant to be experiencing the universe the way he is and kind of tumbling through it yeah but i want to i want to see him doing that but i don't want to be doing that because as an audience member, I need to understand the fucking storyline

and not just have it explained to me like, aha, here's something we've never seen before that now you have to deal with this and now don't worry, it's gone. We're on to the next thing. I think it's all very dreamlike, a lot of these Ghibli movies, though. They're all very much like they don't make sense

and there's no way to explain them. So let's not even try because if we started to do it, we couldn't be as fantastical and silly as we are it all does feel very frivolous and i think that's why i don't like it yeah spirited away didn't feel like that and that's probably that's like a really well-rounded yeah i like solid i remember seeing well yeah like you get who the characters are. The setup is interesting. You feel attachment to the characters because we've known them throughout the film. So you actually get some kind of emotional attachment to these characters rather than just seeing people get emotional attachments because it matters to them. But it needs to matter to the audience as well. Otherwise, what am I watching? I'm watching. It's like if the film opened with someone crying, you'd hope to find out why they're crying. You can't just be attached to someone emoting. You need to be emoting with them. Anyway, so Anatomy of a Fall opens with basically a father is dead in the driveway of his house. That's

like the opening of the film. What, like on the ground? There's only three people there. Yeah, yeah. He's just like spread eagle dead on the ground of his house. That's like the opening of the film. What, like on the ground? There's only three people there. Yeah, yeah. He's just like spread eagle dead on the ground of his driveway. So the son comes back from walking the dog and there's the dad dead in the driveway. And he's beneath a window, like a third story window. That's how the film basically opens.

I saw the first minute was two minutes. So the window's open. Well, it doesn't matter. All right? It doesn't matter. Well, it does matter. No, no, no, it doesn't. But that's getting too deep into matter. Well, it does matter. No, no, no. It doesn't.

But that's getting too deep into it. That's the film. Right? That's the film. There's only the three of them there, the son and the mother and the boy. So court case and all the rest of it. Right. But interestingly, I didn't watch Spiral, although I will.

I didn't know that French courts were so different from like UK courts and American courts. So if you watch, this is like a murder trial, essentially in the French courts. They just fucking interrupt each other all the time. Yeah. It's more, it sounds more like a podcast with lawyers than anything else. Yeah. Like it's not like objection and oh yes, state your legal objection. It's this, no, overruled, ignore that. It's like, they'll just chat. I'm not surprised because they also don't like to cue the french so i'm so i i'm so surprised

that they're not waiting their turn for something like i like uh they they every one of them thinks that they're the most important person in the entire universe at any given time and uh and it sounds like that's uh that's also true in their court system as well. Just talk because- It's just funny. I'm talking now. The prosecutor will be going. I'm just talking.

The defender will pipe up. And then the accused will just chime in. And then the judge will have something to say. Then someone else will pipe up. And no one's saying, hey, hey, hey. One at a time. You can't just yell out. You can just chip in with something. I it was really interesting and they make lots of

sarcastic comments nice it's really it's a really really really good movie and is it is it like true to life from what you can tell like by all accounts like is that kind of what happens or i don't i feel like a lot of like courtroom drama um is drama is, it tries to be realistic or whatever, but obviously it's such a boring thing, right? I think courtroom drama is one of those things that folds upon itself, though. People watch it on telly and behave the way they've seen on telly. Yeah, yeah. Because they know they do.

They know different, right? It's all been- I think it is one of those things that's very, People assume it'll be the way they've seen it. Because that's the only way most people have seen it. I mean, I don't think I've ever been in a courthouse. No, me neither. I hope to never go in one. I mean, I've been in one, but I've never been to a trial or something.

I've never done jury duty. I went to one of the Royal Courts of Justice on Fleet Street. You can just go in. Yeah. And there's the public gallery and everything. You got to be quiet when you go in. But you go in and there's all law students in there and reporters. That's pretty much it.

And you sit in, it's very formal, obviously. It's really not dramatic. But sometimes I think some court cases can be really dramatic. Did you watch, you remember the Oscar Pistorius trial? Yeah. That trial was like on the internet. I watched the live stream of that a lot. I was really into it.

And it was very dramatic. They did lots of recreations. There was lots of, you know, lots of testimony from him where, you know, they're absolutely destroying his argument. He's trying to defend himself desperately. He keeps breaking down and they have to keep stopping. And you become more and more aware that you're pretty sure that he's guilty.

You know what I mean? Like I'm watching, I'm thinking, there's no fucking way that this guy's story adds up. It was genuinely gripping, but it was obviously much longer than the trials they have in a movie because you don't want to watch eight hours of testimony in a film.

But there were definitely dramatic moments in that. I think there are absolutely... I mean, do you remember the trial they had recently where that guy drove a car into people and then defended himself in court, that guy? I remember hearing about it, but I don't know any of the details around his defense in court. I can't remember his name, but that is a very interesting...

Near Westminster, right? On the bridge? No, no, no. This is in America. Oh, in America. Because remember, we don't have televised trials over here. There's no cameras or recording in the courtroom in the UK, to the best of my knowledge. Whereas in America, they often have trials where there's cameras there and everything.

The recent one, obviously, was the Johnny Depp, Amber Heard one. That was all over the place. There were clips from that on TikTok and everything. The Gwyneth Paltrow trial, that was fantastic. I really enjoyed watching that. That was a good watch. OJ. OJ, of course.

The original. The original. The OG. Spiral is a French like spy thriller series oh it's a TV series but it has a lot of court stuff in that but yeah Mrs. F is always recommending that to me and I just haven't got around to it yet

well I would like to recommend to you right now the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm which started there's one episode out and it's hilarious yeah it's really good first episode's really good it continues on from the last season i don't know if you remember the last season but he gets with that the woman

who's on the council because uh he wants her to remove the ruling where they need a fence around the pool because the guy the guy drowns in his in his pool he doesn't have a fence up and he's gonna get fined and taken to court and stuff so he's still with he's still with her and uh and and just like the story kind of continues on from there it's it's good it is good that's so good yeah yeah and kind of the aftermath of his show you know uh was it young larry or whatever you know the show he's working on and he has that uh the the the girl that he he needs to to get her in as the star of the show for a favor but she's she's awful she's terrible yeah yes she's still in it as well it's good oh good yeah good those

were the two strange plot threads from the last season yeah yeah yeah they they sort of continue on in this one but this is very strange this is the final season they're done after this well they keep saying they said that so many times but I mean, the way it's filmed is so odd as well. And generally, you know how it's like, basically they don't have scripts. They have an outline of what happens at each scene, and then they just fucking go at it. And that just makes it feel so different to everything else. It's very realistic. It's nice, yeah.

Like, it's comedy that at no point... You can actually see the moments where it's very realistic. It's nice, yes. It's comedy that at no point... You can actually see the moments where it's scripted. There's obviously moments where he's like, I have to say this, and then everything goes from there. Yeah. And I'm sure they have some... I mean, I know they say it's not scripted, but there are definitely some lines that you think that was written.

And it's almost like you can feel it because the rest of it feels so natural, which that is my only problem with it is sometimes it feels so realistic that it just makes me want to curl up into a ball. Like, it's just so agonizing. Yeah, at times it is, yeah. I feel it's easier to watch it second time around because you know what's coming. You don't cringe quite as hard.

No, yeah. But yeah, it's pretty... But Poor Things was the film I watched in the Everyman, and I hated hated it it might be one of the most hated films i've ever seen i i despised it i wanted to leave after about 15 minutes it's incredibly well received everybody loves it um some people hate it i'm in that group you're in the in the hater group i'm in the hate group i honestly i mean i was trying to enjoy it i was really trying i i hated it i absolutely hated it it was one of the worst things poor things every man yeah but you like the everyman experience oh yeah the cinema was great i was like man i would love to have

seen any other film here but except for the movie i'm sure it has i mean all the critics are like oh it's one of the best films ever made blah blah they're wetting themselves about it i hated it i absolutely this is this is how i feel about all the charlie kaufman movies oh he's fucking get lads up his ass a lot of these directors are just up their ass they're obsessed with themselves i think they're they're obsessed every shot that they can do they do it whether it needs to be done or not they they explore ideas that are not worth exploring if a character's just you know pops into their brain it must be brilliant so let's put it on screen i just fucking hate it i'm not fussy about movies and tv shows generally as long as it holds my attention i'll watch it i'll watch fucking storage wars and antiques road show and god you name it

right i'll watch any old shit and but some of this stuff like i i i step back from it like i basically some of these movies if i find i'm pausing it all the time that's a really bad sign do you mean like and if i and i kind of hate going to the cinema if i'm gonna if it's not a movie that i know i'm gonna like because i can't fucking pause it it feels like i'm trapped in a tortuous hell do you mean at least with a movie that's on telly, I can just turn it off and go away and never come back to it, like a lot of things on Netflix that I've just never come back to, you know, because they're like, just bad. There's so much crap on Netflix. There is so much crap. This is perfect for me to- To segue into crap. To segue into my-

Is it about your toilet or is it about The Apprentice? It's The Apprentice! I was going to give you guys an update. It started last week, segue into crap to segue into my uh is it about your toilet or is it about the apprentice it's the apprentice i was going to give you guys an update it's been started last week i watched it reluctantly i didn't i did not want to we we live in this cyclical podcast world where i could now predict what we're going to talk about okay well listen can i just give you the update on the first person that was fired from the apprentice this is a this this is a uh so let me just preface this by saying that the apprentice i read a thing this week that said that the apprentice casting team are deliberately recruiting people who have no desire to be an influencer right that is like a big part of their casting process they very apparently very carefully

choose people who are not going to be ripping it up on social media yeah don't have that beyond the show yeah right so they're getting like people who are serious about business they like they they are concentrating only on business stupid and then yeah because like i i think they hit the mark really well both times the guy that got fired last, it was weird because the first task was the corporate event task, which is usually like one of the last tasks. What does that mean? They have to put on a corporate event, so they have to price up a corporate event. What does that mean? Oh, yeah.

A corporate event. Yeah. They go to, they have two companies lined up and they're're like they want to take 20 people on a day out basically and so they're at this like scottish uh castle manor thing and uh they got to put on activities for they got to lay on some food for them yeah yeah and so they and so they got to pick the food that they're going to serve but they also have to prepare it as well which is always a little bit unfair because most of them are so stupid and none of them seem to be able to prepare food or whatever so it's always a mess um but this this time particularly there was there's a whole

lead up to it being a huge mess and the the team that lost actually uh came out under so they lost 600 pounds and the team that won made a profit of like 150 pounds or something. Like it was, it was just, it was one of the worst ones ever. But basically,

the guy that got fired in the end was responsible for, for getting the pudding ready on his team. So he was, you know, and he's like,

I've never, I've never like cooked before. What do I do? And the guy's like, just measure out all the stuff. Okay. You have the ingredient, you have the list in front of you of all the ingredients. All you got to do is get all the, all of that measured out as it says, and just leave it on the side so that we can make it when we're ready to. And he's like, okay, yeah, I can do that. So he goes off and like two seconds later, he's like, chef, chef, I have a question. And got the guy runs over. He's like uh chef chef i have a question and got

the guy runs over he's like what is it what is it we're trying to do this other thing he's like yeah i'm on this one and it says uh it says uh one tb sp salt is that the brand of salt or type of salt or or what and the guy's like he didn't even respond to him he was just like i think he just walked away but then it came up again in the thing. And he was like, you don't know what a tablespoon is? This guy's like some sales executive or something. Like, I don't know. I guess they just lie about what they do or whatever.

But it seemed like really, really bad. And then he got fired. I love those gaps in knowledge that people have. It's wild though. TPSP. Yeah. He just had no clue and he's like, oh, well, I mean, I've never been in a kitchen before.

I was like, well, yeah, you know, that's fine. But you should still understand like- This guy's skipping the steps to become a billionaire. Yeah, but most schools even do like a home economics class or something, right? Like, come on. Once he's a successful CEO, he's not gonna need to cook a billionaire. Yeah, but most schools even do a home economics class or something, right? Come on. Once he's a successful CEO, he's not going to need to cook for himself. Exactly. That's smart.

I think he's done the right thing. It's not going to happen through The Apprentice because he's the first one fired. You have to specialize. That's got to be bad, by the way, to be the first one out of The Apprentice. Yeah, it does. Nobody ever remembers you. People Google your name and they're like, that's what theyrentice. Yeah, it does. Nobody ever remembers you. And they're like, that's what they find out.

That's bad. Nobody really ever remembers you. You know what? I will say this, though. At the very least, you're out. Yeah. Like, the longer you're in The Apprentice, the more people will recognize you and remember you as that idiot that was on The Apprentice.

Yes. If you were out early doors, you're like, well, at least it's over with. I'll be forgotten. This guy's ruined his chances of being prime minister or being successful now, right? He's ruined it.

He's never going to be the CEO of a big company. He's dead. He's dead in business. No, he's not. He is. He'll be minister for business within a year. He's a laughingstock. Oh, man.

You'll get a phone call. I understand you're available. We saw you on The Apprentice. We think you'd be fantastic. Oh, shit. Listen, I know you don't have ever been in a kitchen before, but that's the exact kind of person we need. Come and work for the UK government.

Oh, my God, man. So, yeah. So, I watched it. I didn't really want to watch it last year i did not enjoy it you did and uh i was like i was i kept saying to my wife this year i'm not watching it she's like come on it'll be good you fucking love this shit so i watched it and now i watch it again i will watch it again but that's okay that's fine you know you got yeah you know i know again i've we talked about this before i know how you watch tv and it's basically just you and your wife quipping and ripping the piss out of everything yeah that's fun it is a joy that is fun but um but yeah i

mean it's just you know it is it is what it is you know we do these things i don't know why i watch the well i mean it is kind of fun though. 18 seasons of this thing every year. We're just smashing it all. It is crazy, isn't it? But I mean, it is, I think they got to change up the, I think they got to get rid of Alan Sugar, honestly. I think they need somebody else now.

He's become a character. Well, he's the same age as Larry David. Fucking hell. That's crazy. Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and a box of beer was delivered to my front door. I love beer. Get it down me neck.

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so yeah beer52.com slash triforce you get a free case if you're unsatisfied you can pause or cancel your subscription at any time beer52.com forward slash triforce do it now Larry David married a young how do we feel about this we've had the age gap discussion before haven't we but I'm happy to have it again hit me

no no do it you can't tease us like this I don't know this about Larry David I think she got the best of both worlds. 35? If she's a fan of Larry David, and could be a billionaire. Ashley Underwood. Ashley Underwood.

Oh my goodness. Ashley Underwood. She's lovely. Ashley Underwood is- Yeah. There's all pictures of her with L. David. Who is Larry David's wife? All about Ashley Underwood.

Well, she's like half his age then, right? Yeah. Less than, yeah. Wow. Is she... But that's okay. She's on IMDb, so she's done stuff. She's been in...

She's not some 19-year-old bourgeois... Subsequent movie film, apparently. Yeah, that's how they met. Where did we come down on this before? Because I guess I came down on the side of being a little uncomfortable with it. And I think more so if they were deciding to have a child that late. So I think there was like, wasn't it?

There's a few people who were in their 70s having a kid with a 35 year old woman or whatever. Well, Al Pacino is like in his 80s and he had a baby with like a 29 year old or something. Yes. Recently. These are big problems. And now they're not together anymore as well, apparently. 80s and he had a baby with like a 29 year old or something yes recently these are these and now they're not together anymore as well apparently well you know she if you don't if you get to 35 and you don't know what you want and you don't have your head screwed on when when are you gonna do you mean it's not like they're being taken advantage of you know i mean she's an adult so if she's decided to maybe maybe i mean, look, here's the thing. A lot of people just love charming, funny people.

So maybe that's the thing. Larry David is very funny and charming and rich and cool to be around. And, you know, they got on well. I mean, that's it. That's it. That's all it needs. But as I've said, it only ever seems to go this one direction. Much older men with much younger women.

Yeah, it does. Yeah. You never see. When's Ryan Gosling going to go out with, like, older men with much younger women. Yeah, it does, yeah. You never see... When's Ryan Gosling gonna go out with Betty White or something like that? Obviously, rip Betty White, but had she still been alive? Yeah. Where's that? Yeah.

There is a bit of that. Go on. Yeah. There was a storyline in Emmerdale where a younger man was going for an older woman, but that's the only one I can think of, and I mean'm talking like that was maybe 2003 2004 so so liz taylor um died in 2011 she was married one two three four five six seven times right um her last partner let me see she was born in 1932 he was born in 1952 so he was 20 years her junior right Right. When he married Elizabeth Taylor. Right.

And how old was she at the time when they got married? So let me see. They got married in 1991. Right. So she was like 60. 61. 61. And he was 41.

Something like that. Or 60. No, 59? 59? She was 59. So he would have been 39. Yeah. 20 years.

That's pretty crazy. That's pretty crazy. Yeah, but I mean, but Liz Taylor, what did she look like at 59? Liz Taylor... She was gorgeous. She's Liz Taylor. Yeah. So, I mean, that's the thing.

I mean, I'm... What about Zsa Zsa? Zsa Zsa Gabor. Yeah, I heard of that one. Let's have a look. So, Zsa Zsa Gabor was married one two three four five six seven times um she died in 2016 age 99 wow um nine times actually what have i what did i say one two three seven four five oh some of them don't have a wiki entry sorry nine times um she

was married to a lad called felipe de alba so he was born in 1924 so he was almost as old as she was Jack Ryan also almost as old as her George Sanders he was older okay well alright Zajacobo also not a good Rick Owens though who's the big fashion guy he married

a lady who was like 20 years older than him I think he's 60 and she's 80 so yeah like that is a thing it does happen but not as a lady who was 20 years older than him. I think he's 60 and she's 80. That is a thing. Not as often as the other way. They got married 20 years ago when he was 40 and she was 60. So I think again it's a very different dynamic I guess at different stages of life.

The age gap is more pronounced and it can only it's hard for someone to, we only live for like 80 years so in order to go to marry someone half your age there's a very small window where that's actually possible you kind of have to be in your 60s

well for it not to be super gross it is weird though isn't it but it just I don't know especially like the rich and famous especially you see it I don't mind so much like the rich and famous, especially you see it. I don't mind so much the marriage thing, but as much as the kids thing, I think that's a big thing for me.

Yeah. I guess I don't, I'm not conservative or anything around it, but I, and people can do their own. I'm sure these people will understand, but it just feels like it's something I wouldn't be comfortable. I don't want to have a kid and I'm 40, let alone when I'm 70. Do you know what I mean? I feel like there's a lot of expectations. Maybe if of expectations maybe if you're mega rich you're not bringing

them up anyway you just have all the nannies and all the send them off to boarding school i feel like if i was mega rich i'd be i'd want to have kids even less you know like because i just feel like man i got all this money i could do whatever i want like i'm not i don't want to do something that's going to prevent me from doing what i want i don't have a rich kid because then they'll turn to be a prick i feel like i yeah i feel like if i was like uh really really stinking rich i want my kids to grow up poor and miserable so they turn out to be nice people it's not so much that it's like i just feel like if i was, really wealthy, I don't know if I'd have the, well, knowing what I know now, I don't know if I'd had that attitude about having kids. Maybe I would not have them, you know, because I would just want to enjoy my, all my vast amount of money and all the opportunities that it would provide me, you know, like i wouldn't want to be tied down i'd want to be like you know

buy like a penthouse in new york and go there for a week and then buy a penthouse in like tokyo go there for a week but i wouldn't want to be dragging kids along with me you know what i mean it's so complicated though isn't it because we i've my feelings vary day to day and my my you know sometimes i wake up and i'm feeling like shit other days i wake up and i'm like really happy you know i i I think everyone makes decisions on, you know, week to week. They're like, oh, I need to change everything. I need to change my haircut.

Oh God, let's have kids. We've got to do it. You know, all this. Do you know what I mean? Like people make these decisions and they have to kind of, it's so complex. It is. It is complex.

Do you want to hear about a simple life? Yes. Go on. This is an article that's trending at the moment. It's gone quite big. Poor old Greg Wallace did an article called My Saturday. Greg Wallace from Greg's? No, Greg Wallace of the-

Greg Wallace from Inside the Factory and MasterChef and all the other stuff. Inside the Factory, yeah, MasterChef. So he wrote this article. This is his day. I'll give you some highlights. 5 AM, I wake up at the same time every morning. He wakes up at 5am, he has his coffee, reads his book, checks his emails, and then he looks at the signup numbers for his health program, and then he gives a website. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Greg Davis, can we have a little- Greg Wallace! Greg Wallace, sorry, can we have a little impression of Greg Wallace, just so people

know who we're talking about? Pflax. The buttery biscuit box. That's Greg Wallace, right? So 5 a.m. Yeah, 5 a.m. he's up. 7 a.m. he's at the gym. Right. And he lists his workout here.

He's down from 17 stone to 12 stone. Wow. He's got less than 18% body fat and a six pack. That's what he lists. This is the article that he wrote. Right. 10.30, meet my PA Helen at the local harvester for breakfast. And then he lists the breakfast.

And this is my favorite part. I've regularly been disappointed in three-star Michelin restaurants around Europe, but never in a harvester. We're British gentlemen after our own heart. Yeah. And then he goes back home for lunch with his wife Hang on a second, what time was breakfast? 10.30

Mate, he's just been down the gym What did he eat at breakfast at Harvester? He had bacon sausage fried egg Bacon sausage fried, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry So Greg Wallace, he wakes up at 5am and checks the numbers on the people who signed up to his health plan Yeah Right, goes to the gym. Yeah.

Works on his six pack. Yeah. Hits Harvester for 10.30. Yeah. Right. Eats that sausage and bacon. Barely has it been swallowed. Then he has to eat his lunch at 12.

12. Yeah. 12. Yeah. But his body's probably craving some carbs at this point, though, right? If he's been working out so hard. Exactly. There's no carbs really

in bacon, sausage, egg, and mushroom, and tomato, which is what it looks like. In bread though, is it in bread? No, it's just a plate. He's just having a fry-up. Oh, right. He has white bean soup with his wife makes white bean soup, and a crust of bread, so just a bit of bread,

so not too much. Right. Then he spends some time with his son. He has a four-year-old son who's non-verbally autistic. So this kid is way up there on the spectrum. Spends some time with the kid. And I think it's about, it spends about an hour, maybe an hour and a half with the kid. So one hour and a half is all he can take.

It's probably realistically 10 minutes. And then 3 PM, I'm an amateur historian I spend two hours by myself in my home office Playing Total War Saga Thrones of Britannia That's it Oh wow He's a gamer I prefer turn-based strategy games

I spent two hours playing Hearts of Iron IV I like to play Nazi Germany One day we'll win We'll get a bloody world of fascism We'll spread Beans and toast And we're going to put a harvester in every city That's the plan

And then he cooks for the family And then 8pm he's in bed So he says Read or watch a film on my laptop We watch The Apprentice he's asleep by 9 that's it what's dinner does it say

it was fish he says so three portions of meat I cook dinner for the family once a week grilled fish he only cooks once a week grilled fish from the fishmonger at the local farm shop i like bass sole or crab to make sandwiches with chips never eat takeaways make my own healthy

cheeseburgers i only drink twice a week either for a rugby game or dinner with anna i'll start off with a pint then have a wine then maybe a whiskey or brandy jesus that's it i've never ever regretted not having a drink wow that. Honestly, that's decent life advice for anyone. I've never regretted not having a drink. I've definitely regretted having a drink. I think that's a pretty obvious statement, but fair enough. Why did he feel the need to share this? It's just an article. They were just like, Greg, do you want to write an article for The Telegraph? Do you want to write it? This is your typical day.

Yeah. My typical day would be so fucking shit to read mine too man i don't do anything like it's crazy wake up 8 30 stumble downstairs and have a coffee uh say hello to the dog um let's let's imagine a day where mrs f is not working from home so she's going into the office the house is completely empty apart from me the dog and the cat uh i go upstairs check my emails and then play video games from about 9 30 till about 3 30 then i have a nap play some more video games yeah uh and then i'll go downstairs cook dinner uh clean up the kitchen like do the dishwasher and all the rest of that from the night before, or just from that day, go back upstairs, play video games from 8 until about midnight, go to sleep.

That's my fucking day, most days. Do you know what, people say that dads have no free time. But it's not true once your kids are teenagers, right? Oh, once they're old enough that I do nothing. It's not that you don't have free time, it's that you're overburdened with just lots of little things that you do not want to do all the time you you have free time but you learn to sort of weave them in between uh you you sort of oh i see you claw back a lot of time but you still have all these little chores

to do but you just get a good balance of doing the things that you actually want to do and then uh you know doing the things that you don't want to do and it's just balancing it out right and i think after a while you just get really good at balancing it out but at first it's impossible to balance out and all you feel like you're doing is just these chores and you don't have any time to do anything but you slowly do get it back and then you get to kind of like the point that flax is at and you're like holy shit i actually do have a lot of free time like it's i feel personally like you it's like having kids is almost like you're on a ship that's set sail

yeah and you feel like you think you're going to be the captain early on but you're not you're one of the deckhands you're constantly scrubbing and cleaning the floors you're constantly chasing after people uh and repairing leaks in the ship and trying to keep it afloat yeah and dealing with people trying to throw themselves overboard like that's your role is more just like the bosun or something like that you know you're literally just in charge of the deck and shit like that then gradually as your kids get older you work your way up the ranks once you're the captain you think well i can decide where the ship. I can even drop the crew off at islands, fuck off for a bit, come back and pick them up. And they're fine. They've got their own things.

And they'll take the little boats and go off and do their own missions and then come back. But the problem is the captain then has to deal with mutinies and the mutinies get more and more serious because as the kids get older, it stops being, well, a couple of lashes and that'll put it right. The equivalent of the naughty step, right? And it becomes, I don't have to do what you tell me. How can you possibly make me do anything?

It becomes a French legal drama. Yes, it does. Everyone's got an opinion. Everyone has to put their own law in. They're all chiming in and you're guilty until proven innocent. That's the problem. Like it's seriously much,

much harder. The arguments that my kids have now in when they were little, it was like, she hit me. And you very simply settled. Now you go on the naughty step. And then it's like, we don't hit people.

We don't hit people. We never, ever hit people. And that's simple. Then it becomes things like she called me a cunt. You know what I mean? Well, were you being a cunt? Yeah, how cunty were you being?

It's difficult. That's such a great dad response. They say the most brutal things to each other. Because they're both at school now, so they're old enough to know how to fucking fight with words. You have so much sympathy when they're little because you know that they don't really know what they're doing but then past a certain age your your sympathy just disappears because you're like you know what you're doing you've been told not to do this a million times yet you still do it all the time and and then you expect oh my god i can feel the dad rage building up. Yeah, I'm getting angry. You expect people to be sympathetic towards you, and we're just not. We're just done.

You know? You're at that point where you're like, fine, just fucking do whatever you want to do, okay? And then if you turn into an arsehole, it's on you. Because I've done everything I can. I don't want that. That's the thing is, I'm so desperate for that not to happen. It's the eternal struggle. Every fiber of your being is thinking, maybe, maybe my kids are just horrible.

But they're not, they're just being horrible in that moment. Yeah. And the thing is, when you tell them off, and they're really angry with you, and they're yelling at you, and they stomp off and slam their door, I remember feeling that way about my parents, where I would stomp off and slam the door, and I'd be like, oh God, I hate them, I wish they were dead, they're the monsters, they're terrible, ugh. The kind of thing that goes through kids' minds, because they're're just they're rebelling yeah they're at that point where they want to rebel they want to get away yeah i've got two teenage daughters and it is all the

stereotypes it is hard it's hard because you feel as a sympathetic person you i sometimes was very upset when you know my partner or some of my friends were getting you know venting at me and about something that they'd they'd something had gone wrong for them and i was you know i think i at some points i was more upset than they were yeah do you mean and i think this is a common thing on the internet i think you know sometimes people are or appear to be or are very pissed off or frustrated about something but telling you about it both takes it off them a little bit and makes you hear about it for the first time exactly so in a sense like they've had time to heal and share this and they're not as bothered about it anymore because

time has gone by for them but for you this is a new offense yeah and it's like and you take everything so personally because you love that person so much or you you care about that person you don't want them to that that's the shit thing that they've experienced and and you might even be more annoyed about it because it might be one of your bugbears more than it is them right and so sometimes you could infect people you can i mean trauma dumping is a thing right like people do that people do i mean i know you guys probably seen this when you're streaming someone will turn up and chat and say like just had the worst week of my life and they'll list all these awful things and it's like i mean i get it people people are reaching out sometimes for someone to listen.

But essentially, I don't know you and you don't know me and you're turning up. And like, let's say I was just doing some stupid impression of fucking Columbo. And then all of a sudden someone in chat is like, my entire family was wiped out by assassins. And you're like, well, fuck. Like, what do you want me to do with that? What am I supposed to do about that and with that? You should have just stayed in the Columbo roleplay for it.

I think you just got to keep it going. There is one more thing, sir. Your entire family, you're wiped out by assassins. I don't know what the fuck you're meant to do. Man, oh man, oh man. But if a friend comes to me and is like look this terrible thing

happened i need to talk about it with someone of course you're going to be there and of course you're going to listen and that's just human nature that's part of well i guess the difference between venting and trauma dumping is when you you don't care about the other person who's hearing it you know i think that then again you're never going to quite know how you never know people well enough to sometimes you do to gauge how what you can tell them to quite know how you never know people well enough to sometimes you do to gauge how what you can tell them to not upset them right and you should vent you should you should let it out and try and talk to people and and share your feelings and with your friends because they want to hear you and help you and don't be scared i'm not trying to i'm not sure

i think trauma dumping is obviously not i'm not cool with that as a sort of, as if it's a, I don't know. Do you know what I mean? I feel like people should be encouraged to share their feelings rather than not share their feelings. Yeah, we don't want to bottle it up. Yeah, share your feelings. Don't be scared to be called a trauma dumper or whatever. You know, I'd rather people went the other way than in general with me personally. But I feel like this is a very common common

concept what you could say um nothing to do with trauma dumping so if you want to carry on sorry go i wanted to change the subject but i i'm happy for you guys to to to carry on until you're done no change your way go for it all right well i bought a playstation 5 this week yes i heard i had to do a uh i had a brand deal yesterday and um i left it to the last minute to get my playstation 4 back up and running which it hasn't been for about three years or something and uh i couldn't find any of the cables or anything i think some of it might have been destroyed in the in the first flood that i had in the garage and so i thought well fuck i'm gonna need a

playstation 5 at some point anyway so now's probably a good time to just go up and and buy one so i drove up to the store and bought one and i bought an extra controller my son really is uh he's like plays fortnite and all these other games with his friends and he's quite excited to have a playstation because he just plays on switch and it's not it's not the same right it's like little handheld and we only have like uh one tv in the house so he can he never gets to play on the tv because his sisters are always watching tv and stuff and and so on and so forth so i so i picked up this playstation 5 but the interesting part of this story that i wanted to share with you guys was i was having trouble getting it set up for streaming and i didn't have was I was having trouble getting it set up for streaming.

And I didn't have a lot of time to get it set up for streaming either. I have a capture card that I haven't used for a while, which wasn't working. I was plugging everything in. Nothing was working. You could plug the PlayStation directly into your monitor and capture the monitor monitor sometimes but you won't get the audio and there's all these like considerations because you're trying to stream a game and you need to get your audio the game's audio the gameplay itself everything right so i i just it wasn't working and i was like oh fuck there's got to be an easier way um and so i'd used um remote play

the the the play the playstation sitting right next to my computer, I remoted into it, right? I could plug the PlayStation controller into my computer and it would pick it up and allow me to play the PlayStation 5 within a little Windows window that I could capture in OBS, no problem. All the audio was coming through everything. It was just doing it remotely even though it was like right next to it but i just thought it was such a great uh non-faffy way of

getting it up and running you don't need like the l yeah you don't need any of it no you just remote play you you set up is there any lag there wasn't when i was playing it was fine it was absolutely fine so for example i really want to play the new grand theft auto yeah and that comes out in like what two years or whatever um so i would get the playstation 5 yeah remote play from the playstation by the way this is not a sponsored segment no no all you got to do you go you go into the you go into the settings on your playstation and you enable remote play and it gives you like a code um so that when you're on your your pc and you've got the app open the app doesn't do anything until you give it a code and so you give it this code and then um it it makes a link between the two devices that's amazing remembers them and then whenever you want you can just you can you can

activate your playstation even if it's in a cupboard downstairs or something and away you go you can you can remote it right to your pc you don't need to set up any fucking weird virtual audio cables or anything like that for streaming it was amazing i was just working i was like so worried that i wouldn't have it set up in time like for the for the sponsored thing and then i was just sitting there twiddling my thumbs for like an hour i had so much. It took like no time to set up. It was great. But why did you start half an hour late then?

Because apparently all my privacy settings were set to like Hitler levels and nobody could friend me or invite me to anything. I did not set any of this, by the way. I don't know why it was like that. But it's probably for the best. And then everybody was like, oh, granddad can't figure out his PlayStationstation and stuff it's like no look i'm telling you look i haven't i haven't touched anything and i'm getting this error message and nobody could figure it out and so you know it's just like it took forever to get going but once we got going it was fine oh well what game were

you playing we were playing a game called Foam Stars. Imagine Splatoon, but it's called Foam Stars instead. I see. Oh, goodness. It seems kind of... It really does look like Splatoon. It takes a lot of inspiration from Splatoon, but

it's like a four-player kind of like arena shooter sort of thing. It was pretty fun, actually. It's fun to play with friends. It's good. Nice. Yeah, it was good.

I've been playing Tarkov this way a lot. A lot. Man, I have been playing Farming Simulator nonstop for almost three months now. Good grief. Every damn day. Is there that much to it? Well, I mean, I've set myself a challenge, so. What's the challenge?

I got to make a billion dollars. Oh my God. How much have you made? I don't know if you know of many billionaire farmers in the world, but there's a good reason why there probably aren't any, because there's not a lot of money to be made in farming. What about that guy, JR Simplot? I don't know who that is. He's the guy who- Did he have economy set to easy mode in farming. What about that guy, JR Simplot? I don't know who that is. He's the guy who-

Did he have economy set to easy mode in Farming Simulator? Well, he made potatoes for McDonald's to turn into chips. I think he was the guy. He died aged 99 in 2008. He was the oldest billionaire. His net worth was 3.6 billion in 2007. That's crazy he started off with just like a fucking donkey and a bit of land and uh grew potatoes well i have not grown any potatoes i

just planted some sugar beets though um but they're not quite well i'm gonna cut them up and i'm gonna put them into a biogas plant we're gonna ferment ferment them yeah and i'm also doing that with corn chaff and grass and cow diarrhea and solid manure as well and it's it is making a decent amount of money now making me want to get back into it oh you should see my setup i got all these mods i got uh i got all these like automation mods so i can basically it's like playing open ttd in farming simulator you can set up all these courses for the tractors. I got all these like loading and unloading areas. I got trucks that can pick up because I'm harvesting like one of my fields is 39 hectares. It's fucking enormous.

And all I do is cut corn chaff in it. 39 hectares. I have no fucking conception of what that means. Like I'm talking like five five six million liters of chaff okay per harvest like it's insane i i can't even turn it all into silage like fast enough in a year to use it all up like it's it is insane but so that side is all scaled up but then i got to get the basically we're turning into an energy company because i think that's the only way we're going to hit the billion but it's taken isn't that how spiff did it he did solar power i think yeah but i mean that's i i could do that i have enough money to do that and i could i could wrap it up

and do it quickly but then you're not doing any farming like i you know i want to kind of do it whilst doing something you want to do proper yeah yeah so so i've been working at it for like three months. Chat fucking hate me at this point as well. They're just like, this guy's an idiot, he's playing the same fucking stupid game. Like, they just hate it. They're done. But I'm so weirdly obsessed with it still, like I can't get enough, you know? Do you want to quickly do some weird news?

Yeah, I've got it here. Let's do a couple. The Supreme Court of Korea, I wonder if they're like the French courts, probably not- North or South? South Korea, have ruled that a man must serve a year and six months in prison after he refused the country's mandatory military service yeah uh he had argued that he was a conscientious object to war but the court found that because he had played

so much player unknowns battlegrounds he was actually a fan of war and he should have done the military service well they should have made him do it but they have to drop him into the enemy zone with no weapons he'd be very good at that good grief so so there go uh the scottish government uh have given its support for a national games strategy apparently the the scott scottish video game market contributes enough to the Scottish economy, 200 million pounds, that they are going to be providing... Isn't that all rockstar, yeah? They're going to be funding games, so they go as Scottish games. That's a good... that might be a good move for me, I'm going to move up there

and I can get Dude Simulacca off the ground finally. The first game we've come up with is, pickin' up your dole check. Jesus Christ. I've spreaded it all on the whiskey! Stretchin' a penny till it's copper wire, that's game number two! I love you Scotland, no hate. Just japes. Oh, fuckin fucking hell. And then in pop culture, we still don't know who Satoshi Nakamoto is.

The inventor of Bitcoin. The inventor of Bitcoin. A lot of people have claimed it. Yes, again and again. And there's a trial going on right now in the UK High Court. Oh, this guy? Well, there's this guy called Craig Wright, who's an Australian computer scientist. He's on trial because he claims that he is Satoshi Nakamoto.

Big Papa Bitcoin. I doubt it very much. Well, if he can claim that he is Satoshi Nakamoto, apparently he could make it illegal for developers to use Bitcoin without his approval. Right. The threat of legal action, this would scare off developers and send Bitcoin into obscurity. Oh, fantastic. Please do that.

Even further than it already is. Please do that. So, yeah, that's something which is interesting. Don't you have some Bitcoin, Lewis? No, never bought a crypto in my life. Right. I was gifted two and a half Bitcoins about- You were gift-o-ed some crypto? Eight years ago, yeah. Somebody tipped me two Bitcoins when they were worth 100 quid each.

And you sold them? I sold them when they were worth two and a half thousand each. And then a few months, actually maybe a year or two later, they were worth 25,000 each. Shit. It was a little bit annoying. Did you feel like shit? Didn't you get was like some ethereum as well or buy some ethereum no my mate said you should buy some ethereum and i did and it did nothing i sold him to make my money back and like i think i doubled my money waited a couple years and then they were worth a lot of money do you have a stock portfolio

flex fuck no dude no i'm not a gambler i don't have any stocks either no me neither it's all gambling i mean you can put money in long-term steady stuff, but all of this, you know, you can get rich quick. It's all like, it's all, to me, Bitcoin is just a modern pump and dump scheme. And all of this shit, getting people to buy crypto is just to drive the price up so that you can sell and make money. That's all it is.

I don't see it as any different. I think if you, as gamers, we always look for these things. And certainly the bandwagon effect of everyone saying that it's gonna go up, and all of them buying it makes it go up in the short term. But yeah, like five years down the line, ten years down the line? Unless you're gonna constantly be gambling away every day. Well, as a gamer looking for things, I still can't figure out an easy way to make

a billion dollars in farming simulators, so... You'll figure it out. I don't think the economy scales like that in this game. You know, it's like, it's just tough. It's tough out there, you know. It's a tough world. That's enough. We've done a long chat today.

I need to get back to Total War. Yeah, I've got to go eat some supper. You've got to go to a multiplayer game against Greg Wallace at one. So you've got to get prepared for that. Then a Harvester, which I've never been disappointed in a Harvester. Never been disappointed in a Harvester against Greg Wallace at one. So you're going to get prepared for that. Yeah. Then a harvester, which I've never been disappointed in a harvester.

Never been disappointed Greg Wallace 2024. Impressive. Breakfast. Specifically the breakfast. What a champion. I didn't even know they did that.

Speaking of Greg Wallace, I watched the Inside the Factory episode recently where they make jelly beans. Really good one, by the way. You should watch it. Yeah, well, look that up.

Factory jelly beans. I'll check it out. All thanks everyone series episode two there you go