Triforce! - Triforce! #279: Palentines, Eggs, Saving the World

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Triforce! Episode 279! We're gonna have our own dude Valentine (Palentine), Flax tries to understand Eggs and we find out how to survive the Lizard People Uprising! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe It's been a week and we're right back at it. Me, Lewis, Flax, hello. Hello. Hello. Right back where we started from. Yes. What a wonderful time to be alive. Well, maybe for some it is. I've got a pinched nerve in my neck this week and it has been killing my ass hard. It's the worst. You know, like, have you ever had any like nerve pain in your teeth?

Like, dental-related pain? Yeah, it's horrible. Okay, imagine that in your shoulder and arm. Constantly as well. And the worst thing is, it hurts to sit down. You know, like, most pain is like, you sit down, you get a relief from it? This is the opposite. Like, I'm standing up all the time.

It's so annoying. It's the nature of the job that we all do, where we're sitting down and playing games all day has led to it? I don't think it helps, yeah. Is this gonna be a thing that everyone has? You know, this is what our parents warned us against, they were like, oh, if you're hunched over playing video games all day, you're gonna turn into a hunchback of old man.

It's like, it baffles me though, because I am so buff. You know, like, I've got huge muscles, I work out all the time, spend more time in the gym than I do gaming, for sure. And still, here I am. You know, you get punished just for like five minutes of gaming a day, pretty much, it feels like. It might be when you were doing that Playboy shoot that you twisted it, because they had you in some pretty elaborate positions for that.

Could have been. They asked me to shift my gear over to the left at one point, and I think it might have given me a neck or a spinal related, you know, twinge. No, honestly, I slept funny one night. I woke up and I had like a kink in my neck. Let's just keep going with that. You know, you get those nights where you wake up and you're like, oh, I've got like a bit of a crick in my neck. And that just slowly progressed into this white hot pain in my shoulder. This shit happens to me.

Like this morning, I woke up and I was in exactly the same position. I realized I'd been in exactly the same position that I was when I'd gone to sleep. I obviously hadn't moved around in the whole six hours or whatever. Right. And I was like frozen, like locked. I tried like moving a little bit and everything was like, I'd obviously not moved in so long. Everything was kind of locked. And so I had to like very like slowly loosen myself up.

And it took like five minutes. I kid you not. Well well you're 40 now this is what happens these are the kind of things that happen to uh it's it's bodies yeah yeah like you don't they don't warn you about this well they do they do you just ignore it because you don't believe it that's true i'm young i don't give a shit about what these old people are saying but now i'm as just as old as those old people. They're just glad it's not happened to them at this point. Yeah, exactly.

I've become the old person. God. So yeah, it's just a catalogue of health complaints that starts coming out. And it's even worse as you get older. That's all it is when you talk to old people. They're like, oh, I've had a fall, I twisted my ankle, oh, I banged my hip, and they're like, oh yeah. And then you see it, and it's like this massive bruise across their whole body, and you're like, oh, I've had a fall, I twisted my ankle, oh, I banged my hip, and they're like, oh, yeah. And then you see it, and it's like this massive bruise because of their whole body. Yeah, yeah.

One interesting thing that's come out of this, and it's not something I ever really considered before, but I've discovered through this that most doctors across the UK, and indeed, maybe the whole world, seem to spend most of their spare time in my twitch chat so that was really interesting to find out as well because i've had so much advice on the things that i should be doing uh i i i need a complete life overhaul it turns out yeah this is why you can't get a fucking appointment it's all yeah this is it farming sim. They're all at home watching farming sim, it seems, so yeah. Oh god. So that was a cool thing to find out as well.

Oh my goodness, that's great. Oh, and look what the overlap is between doctors in your chat and ISP experts in mine. You got all the technicians in yours, I got all the doctors. Goodness. Yeah, maybe we should get- maybe we should join forces at some point and the two of them can battle it out. Destroy them all. It'll be like what we do in the shadows when the vampires and the werewolves get

together and be the doctors and the ISP technicians. I watched the film the other day. The film is really good. I know it's a bit like... I feel like for some people, the TV series was better. Yeah. I mean, I know that I really thought the film was excellent. I couldn't really get into the TV series. I tried to watch a couple of episodes and I liked it enough, but having loved the film and seen it a couple of times, I feel like it would take a lot for me to get into the series enough to make me enjoy it more than the film. I just thought that the film was great.

So, I think with the TV series, a bit like, say, the US office, right? Yeah. It takes a bit of time to get going because it's not gags. Like when you watch something like, let's say, Have I Got News For You, which I don't watch anymore,

but let's imagine you watch Have I Got News For You. Yeah. The jokes are current. They're about other people who are famous or infamous or politicians or whatever it's not character-driven comedy it's like political comedy yeah so you can just watch one episode if it's character-driven comedy like the office or like what we do in the shadows um actually did they rename it for the tv series or is it called something else i can't remember anyway um you have

to get to know the characters and much of the humor just comes from you know these characters almost like you literally know them it takes a few episodes to get into that i'd say yeah yeah i mean it is very funny i would say give it a give it a go there are some really good it's brilliant yeah i really like it i think it's it's very light um very doesn't you know always ready with a joke matt berry's amazing huge fan i like him i find him a bit a bit much at times um i really like him in the it crowd he grows on you though he grows on you i think a lot you know i've been watching he was he was i've been seeing him since garth beringi's dark place that was the first thing i saw him in and richard ayawadi i think that was the first thing i'd seen him in as well um and and toast of london's good um but

he's just matt berry is pretty much Matt Berry, and if that's enough for you, great. I think so. But I sometimes feel, he just does this a lot! And it's like, I don't know if that's actually making the lines funny. Sometimes I go in for that, you know? It's a bit like a Brian Blessed kind of vibe, right? With the overdramatic delivery of every line and stuff.

He's beloved. Yeah, he is beloved. Yeah, I don't know if he's winning any awards for it, but certainly I'm a fan. Yeah, he's pretty funny, yeah. I could take him or leave him, honestly, but he's pretty funny. So, what did you guys do for Valentine's Day yesterday? Wow. I, uh...

I streamed all day. I cooked a lovely dinner. Oh, nice. Um, my, I went into Twickenham with my youngest. We went shopping a bit, bumped into my eldest and her friend there, which was nice. Um, and, uh, I cooked steak with Bernays sauce, triple cooked chips and, um, tender stone broccoli for all four of us and then cheesecake and a nice bottle of wine holy crap and then i lost four games of dover in a row wow

holy shit yeah what a night the stack was the stack was me paul choy a couple of joe's mates uh des and munchie and r Ruta, we lost all the games. So did you, like, have a rose clasped in your teeth the whole time? No, we don't give a shit. I mean, if I went to go to bed, especially for some sexy time, and there were fucking petals everywhere, I'd be furious. I'd be like, what are you doing? Like, we're gonna have to clean up these fucking petals, this is ridiculous.

Yeah, the oil is all over the place. Yeah. If you're in a hotel, it's someone else's problem. But if I'm at home, I've got a fucking petal. What's sexy about a fucking dead flower that's been, its carcass has been strewn about the bed. And now you've put oil on stuff, and now we have to change the sheets tomorrow, this is a joke! You've ruined Valentine's Day.

I'm storming out. I don't want to be able to sleep well in greasy sheets. But no, I was saying, like, you know, did you, like... No. You know, spray a bit of perfume in your gaming room? No. And, like, you know, gently caress your monitor as you loaded up Steam? No, did none of it.

Fuck Valentine's. Lewis, I'm more interested to find out what you did for Valentine's Day. Because me and Flax are both married with children, and Valentine's hits a bit different for us because I think I could probably safely say both of us don't really give a shit about it. And I don't think our wives really do either. Yeah, they don't give a shit.

You, who are a young budding dater on the dating scene, you would have had to really pulled out the razzle dazzle yesterday, I would have thought, with a date, probably? Or... I think you'll find that I am someone who was also in two very long relationships. Right. And I have a very similar view of Valentine's as you do, and so do a lot of people who are my age.

Yeah. So it's not any different. There isn't some sort of... We didn't like, you know, I didn't do anything that was particularly wild. Did you rub ice cubes on each other's bodies, like in front of the fridge, and pour chocolate sauce on each other and stuff? I think you have to do a bare minimum of effort, right? I didn't get any presents for my date, or anything like that. Was this a new date?

Did you go out for a meal? A succulent meal? We went for a succulent Thai-nese meal, yes. Right. Was the place packed because it's Valentine's Day? Yes, it was. But I booked a table, so I prepared ahead. You were prepared.

But you could tell, I know this place that I've been there before, and it's never busy ever. And you could tell that they were actually expecting to be busy that night. This is their big night, yeah. Yeah, they were rushing around, making sure. I was like, can we get the bill? And she just pulled the flipping card machine out of her pouch, you know, just pointed it at me immediately. She was like, I could tell she was like, there's people

outside who want to come in. You know what it's like when they're out there. It was just very practical, and I respected that. I wasn't even bothered by the rushy feeling, because to be honest, I'm not a big fan of sitting around in a restaurant for like an hour after I've finished my meal.

I want to get some air. I know that staff fucking hate it when people do that. Like if you finish your meal- Well why don't they bring the bill over the carpentry over sooner? Yeah, but like, I'm saying that some people will get the bill and pay, and then sit there for fucking ages. And just chat it. will get the bill and pay and then sit there for fucking ages. Yeah, but if it's not a busy night, that's good, right? Because a restaurant wants- if you're passing by and you look in and you see people in there, you're more inclined

to then go in yourself, right? Absolutely. But on a really busy night, like Valentine's Day, they want you to- But also, people will stay there late. Yeah. Like, there are restaurants where, when you're the last table, as soon as you're done, the staff can all clean up and fuck off. Yeah. And you're like, another round of lemoncellos, please! For me and my new friends!

And you're like, ugh! We are really hitting it off, thanks to my big bank balance and my credit card. And those people never fucking tip. Any restaurant workers out there you know the vibe you know what i'm talking about it's interesting to see that stuff sometimes people sort of say post their sort of um track their tips and track their things they post it on the internet they say oh my best day i got 400 my worst day i got 23 cents of tips you know

yeah and it's like it's like it really is that wide of a spectrum yeah and so i guess you want to work valentine's right because i suppose you could get money you know man maybe maybe maybe splash the cash or showing off it's busy so it's just volume even if everyone's a bad tipper if there's lots of them it adds up i guess have you been out for a meal on valentine's day when you didn't realize it was valentine's day because that happened to me a few years ago well i mean actually i didn't realize it was valentine's day because that happened to me a few years ago well i mean actually i didn't realize it was valentine's day yesterday because it was pancaked the other day before i can see how that would get you and i'm not really i'm not really just woke about this any of anything at all well i mean woke i mean awake i'm not actually awake

about any of the reality around me so but fortunately on yes on valentine's i did actually just book up and i got table on the day it wasn't actually like i was lucky but but no i don't i don't think i think sometimes you're right that you go out and you're like why the fuck is it so busy and you realize it's saturday afternoon at half term on black friday or whatever there's like some combination of things that have happened so i went to i went to see a movie a few years ago i think i might have mentioned this before last valentine's day perhaps um i went out me and a mate were going to see a film and we went to a where i booked a table at a restaurant no idea it was valentine's day and we walk in and it's packed and the the

guy behind the desk i go up and go yeah table for two and i suddenly see valentine's day special and everybody's got all these flowers and everything and me and my mate are gonna go and have to eat a meal together on valentine's day like we're a couple um which was a little awkward like we got like a little smile from one table that kind of gives a smile like ah the gay guys are having their valentine's meal that's what it felt like a little condescending in all honesty yeah all these couples it was all couples around us. And then me and my mate. We didn't give a fuck, but it was funny.

The movie was pretty good. I can't remember what it was, but it was a decent movie. Nice. Yeah, we don't really go in for Valentine's Day. We got some stuff for the kids. The kids like it. They kind of, you know... We just got them some chocolates and cards and stuff like that.

Have you heard of Galentines? No. So, Galentines is when girls like who are besties have because they don't have a fella they have like an evening together or they treat each other to presents and that's their gal and time this so good yeah yeah i would go yeah this sounds really healthy because valentine's day i honestly could not have been feeling lower yesterday. I was feeling mentally in a really shitty place. And I've not felt this way for a long time.

And I think it's not like anything's particularly bad. I think it's just the winter and a lot of stress and a lot of changes at Yogscast generally are bothering me. And I'm worried that I'm rubbing everyone the wrong way because I'm coming in and interfering with stuff that they've done for years and asking them questions and saying like why are we doing this and we do this differently and i think everyone's sort of getting slightly pissed off at me being a control freak and i think i'm just in a place where i'm like mentally really insecure and i think if if with with the pressure of valentine's as well like

being like oh you single like oh you haven't got a day like what are you doing like it is awful um i was very i'm very lucky that i've um been seeing someone for a couple of weeks and it's it's it's going well and i like them um but to the point where i've deleted all the uh apps actually but nice nice but it's been a absolute nightmare really with with um with people on there um it's hell i hated i hated the whole experience and uh i don't know if i'm ever gonna install the apps again because the whole experience was so just toxic from top to bottom like um so you're done with dating apps you're gonna i don't know i'm gonna try some traditional methods next time. I'll just carry on being single for years and years. Hell yeah. Well, you might not need to if your current girlfriend works out.

Yeah. You know? We'll see. I haven't met her yet. When I come down in April, Lewis, make sure I meet her. I'll let you know if it's on or if it's off. Okay. He'll do a thumbs down.

Yeah, I'll lean in. I'll be like, not this one. That's what I'll say. Not this one, if she's no good. And if I embrace her when I meet her, she's a keeper. All right? I'm going to know instantly. Well, yes.

And if I offer a firm handshake, it's a no. But I think, like, boy valentines. Isn't that kind of beer? No, I thought it would be palentines, wouldn't it? Oh, palentines. That's a really healthy thing. Man, we should have... Palentines. We'd make that thing next time. By the time we come round to next year, we'd have forgotten that.

I think I'd feel bad doing a Palentines, like, because I don't even really celebrate Valentine's with my wife. I think if I turned around and was like, yeah, me and Stu are gonna have a Palentines, she'd be like, yeah, me and Stu are going to have a Palentine's, she'd be like, what? Yeah. I think it's not for you, though. It's for divorced men, and lonely men. Next year, let's have a Palpatine's.

We need to be good to each other. We have to betray people, betray the Republic, and then a plan will... My plan is complete. My plan to have an My plan is complete. My plan to have an operational dinner is complete. Oh, I'm afraid the coffees will be quite delicious when they arrive. Yes, reach for the limoncello. Let your anger flow through you.

Use the credit card! Use the credit card! Your pay machine is nothing, my friend! God, I haven't been out anywhere to eat or anything in such a long time, like, I'm so out of the loop. We need to do a Palentine's Day. Palpatine's! We need to get you out.

Happy Palpatine's! I think this is it. Well, lads that's and ladies to go out with your friends and let's do a palatine's train trip to paris okay okay and it's it's also tough i know like a few couples who are sort of separated because they're away or in different countries or visa problems or various issues one of them's in prison. Just a thought. I don't know any of them who are in prison. Or one of them's on a long-term space mission. We have had a couple of people write into the mailbag who are in prison.

That's true. I'm Prison Mike. Prison Mike. Prison Mike wrote in. Well, you know, God, yeah. Valentine's must be a real bonding time for them in prison. Yeah, especially if you're the new guy. It's so Valentine's Day, so it's your turn in the barrel.

That's how it goes. Gulp! Oh, prison. But the day before Valentine's, of course, was actually a really good one. Pancake Day! It was Pancake Day. Why do you like Pancake Day? Well, because any excuse to eat more pancakes.

It's just an excuse to fuck around and make pancakes. So what kind of pancakes are you doing? We just got some, we just got some the best. Morrison's. The British. The best. Yes. Buttermilk pancakes.

No, no, no. Stick them in a pan. No, no, no. Sips is making buttermilk pancakes, which are like the fluffy, the fluffy popper ones, right? Yeah, yeah, the good ones, yeah. You know, good pancakes. The Canadian-American. The ones that are tasty, and you put a bucket of butter and syrup and shit.

The really fluffy ones. Oh, yeah. Good pancakes. And I did. I did do that. But what we make over here is dog shit pancakes. Crepes. Well, we make skinny crepes with classic lemon and sugar.

I like crepes as well. I will eat a crepe if there's one offered. With a bit of banana, strawberry and blueberry oil. Yeah, hell yeah. Frightful. It's the best. But I feel like Americans and Canadians, well Canadians specifically, have gate-kept maple syrup a bit.

I know they haven't, but every time I use maple syrup- Yeah, it's so hard to get, isn't it? Oof. well, Canadians specifically, have gate-kept maple syrup a bit. I know they have it, but every time I use maple syrup... Yeah, it's so hard to get, isn't it? I feel like I'm not allowed to be using it. Why? I don't know. Canada's got a strategic reserve of this stuff. I mean, it's fine.

You can use it. I think it's just because there's Canadians in the office and sips. And I think he's always been a bit protective of it or something. No! I don't care, I'm spreading the word, I want everybody to enjoy some maple syrup. But holy crap, man, you need to go to Canada and have some maple syrup right out of the tree, oh my god.

You go to the sugarbush, they prepare it for you, it's all like stringy and gooey that you can eat it right off a stick. Fuck, it's fantastic. Do they refine it in any way, or is maple syrup just sap? It is sap, it's very liquidy when it comes out and they refine it. They add sugar to it and they boil it and they do some other stuff to it to make it kind of like what it is when you consume it. But it's still got that great taste.

Like when it comes out of the tree, you want to add like a bit of sugar to it, realistically. It is a unique taste. I was watching this video the other day, I can't remember, it's a famous YouTuber, he's like a chemist, and he does videos where he basically made a cookie, the purest cookie ever from like, you, from chemical lab ingredients. It made me think about how much we underestimate the complexity of the things we eat. All the components that go into a cookie are so diverse, because they're made from plants or animals, but that is just not the nature of chemistry.

Chemistry is so individually purified. You have acetone and you have another thing, ether. You have acetic acid. You can make things out of it, like pharmaceuticals and flavorings and things like this right but trying to copy the complex like makeup of of wheat or you know milk it's like it really hard and it ends up making this really odd he ends up making this really odd cookie um but it may be it's just i've seen a few of those videos where you know someone makes their own hamburger from scratch right and it's like oh they grow the they grow the wheat and they harvest it and they grind it and they make the bun and you know they help they have the whole

process it's fascinating to see like this this stuff so yeah i think like pancakes i that why are they so nice um and and is it possible to like make them fake right if if for example like all all the wheat died right and we were just living in a in space in like a chemical lab environment yeah we just had the basic like basic machine that was making stuff out of the the individual ingredients the replicator it would be i reckon it would just it would never be the same like i've eaten a lot of these things like we're doing this pancake day right and so we had gluten-free pancakes we had vegan vegan pancakes, we had, like, you know, all this stuff. And I mean, you say vegan food has got recitation. Wait, what needs to be vegan about a pancake?

Doesn't it have, like, butter in it and stuff? Yeah, butter, sometimes milk. And eggs? Is that- wait, so you can't even have eggs? No, any- Vegans can't have eggs or butter, no. Anything that's an animal product. Or a bioproduct.

But what's wrong with eggs? They just have them anyway! I know, but they come from an animal, so vegans won't eat them. Yeah, but the chickens don't care! No, but it's still a principle thing. But what's the principle? It's like how you won't play League of Legends. No, but I tried that, and it was shit!

Eggs are obviously good! They tried eggs as well, and they decided they were shit. It's the same thing. Yeah, but I bet they loved them! Who doesn't like eggs? Some people don't like them! Well, that's the problem. We do.

Everyone does. It's kind of a combination thing, though. Eggs are one of these things that give people the ick, right? Yeah. Who doesn't like eggs? Some people don't like them. Well, that's the problem. We do. Everyone does. It's kind of a combination thing, though. Eggs are one of these things that give people the ick, right? When you actually start thinking about them. Yeah.

No, wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What they are. If you've ever been around chickens, you don't have to fucking be mean to them to get eggs to come out. No, no. They just have eggs. They freely will just dump eggs everywhere.

And they don't give a shit. They're not going to be like, my eggs! Some people just only eat chips. Some people only eat chips. It's a thing. No, I want to understand why they've drawn a line at eggs. Everyone has their own line. It's anything. They won't eat honey because it comes from a bee.

Listen to me, lads. I am not saying how dare they. I'm just asking why eggs? What's the argument for vegans saying we can't have eggs? Because they're just going to lie there in the hay and eventually just get trampled and not be used. Part of it is the way some chickens are treated as well, right? So get them from an organic farm, if that's the issue.

All I'm saying is there has to be more to it than that. They're not that desperate to eat eggs, though. That's the thing. But these should be eggs are amazing! You can't have omelettes! You can't have scrambled eggs, you can't have fried eggs, you can't have poachies, you can't have anything! You can't have pancakes!

They don't want to risk buying eggs from somebody who is not keeping them well, or whatever, you know what I mean? It's just like a principle thing. It comes from an animal, so they won't eat it. Right, but so, okay. So let's say that the fur that fell off my dog was edible. Just imagine it. I'm not saying it is, I wouldn't eat my dog's fur at all.

The fur that falls off my dog is edible. But some people shake their dogs to make their fur fall off so they can eat it. Now if I'm just picking up the loose fur that my dog drops anyway and using it what's the moral argument against that okay well what you're talking about there is kind of a a freegan right that is someone who is like um doesn't want to be wasteful and that's a different moral code kind of that is that is using what's available and a lot of people are the same they have chickens locally in their back garden even and they're vegan but they will eat the eggs, right?

Because why not? They're just going to be wasted. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's a very specific example. I mean, it sort of,

I think it perpetuates, the idea is that if you support the egg industry by eating eggs, you're sort of perpetuating this cruelty, you know, it's not going to be long period before there's a factory full of your dogs, you know, and they're being shaped on a big conveyor belt to get their, you know. But then all the packaging will be like, yeah, we play with the dogs and we let them play

PlayStation for five hours a day and it'll be all fun and wacky. Yeah, it'll be beautiful. But actually behind the scenes, it's very cruel. But actually it's like the most disgusting and sicko factory. We name, we individually name every one of our dogs. And then when we get the fur off them, we make sure we give them so many hugs and kisses as well, just to make them feel great. So-

That's the marketing. That is the marketing, yeah. I get that, I get that. It's like Innocent Smoothie. It's Innocent Smoothie, owned by Coca-Cola. It's fucking unbelievable. I do have one problem. One problem with with this this idea right is that we're encouraging the egg industry so we're not going to buy eggs because that will discourage the egg industry here's what it will actually do in my opinion is if you have a group of people who are morally

conscious about the treatment of animals and they are no longer your customers you no longer need to market to that you no longer need to produce anything in an ethical way, because the customers you have left don't give a fuck. And if you say, I'm not buying eggs because it's supporting the egg industry and some elements of the egg industry are really bad actors. So because even though these guys are fine over here and they're making eggs the right way

and they treat the chickens right and all the rest of it, I'm not gonna buy their eggs out of principle. Well, then that branch goes bust. And now all you have is the battery eggs. So what i'm saying is if you actually are vegan and care about animal welfare chickens don't give a fuck about eggs they don't give a shit they just have them out every day we just don't i think another thing is once you start reducing something in your diet you you you don't like it anymore there there is this preference that happens like for me i wasn't trying to become

vegan i just sort of wanted to eat less and it became easier just to eat nothing and then i kind of it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable eating it now when i think about where it came from and what it what it is and also like to some extent hell animal products are just worse for your health they are sorry everyone some of them are gross too like gelatine for example it's fucking gross man it's so unnecessary and it's just cholesterol red meat isn't great for your heart like there's these are proven facts right so you know and people will say oh well you know milk's got a lot of calcium in it well yes but so does vegetables so just eat those instead you know well the reason we drank a lot of milk and were recommended it was good for you is

because no one ate any fucking vegetables. It was the only source of calcium. If you eat vegetables, you'll get plenty of calcium. It's, it's, it's, this is the kind of world we live in though, where we can't trust where those eggs come from, right? And unless you know, and not everyone has a local chicken farm. My friend Laura has a chicken farm. I mean, a lot more has them.

You can just get eggs. Well, in that case, go for it. But again, there's innumerable reasons why someone might not want to eat. But do you know what I mean? At the same time, I was a vegan. I was an egg eater, an egg-an, for a long time. I enjoyed an egg. I do enjoy an egg.

Oh, I love an egg. God, Advocat. I eat an egg. You can't have eggs. I went to that in Vegas. I'm not a Oh, I love an egg. God, Advocat, give me a break. You can't have eggs. I can't. In Vegas. I'm not a vegan. I love eggs, generally.

Egg fried rice, classic. Hey, technically, I can eat whatever the fuck I want. I don't have to explain it to anyone. Tamago? God, I miss Tamago so much, because that was incredible. You know, when I went to Japan, that was awesome. You know, I've moved on to eggplants, though. Nice.

I just don't understand the argument against eggs. I mean, I don't buy meat that's like, this animal was specifically tortured to get to your plate. I try to avoid that as much as I can. I don't think they really brand like that, though. Should they do? You can tell. They try to keep it fluffy. I think they try to keep it- You can tell if they don't put anything on it about the animal, they're like, oh, it's a chicken. It was a chicken. Don't look at it too closely. Like, if you buy the shit chickens, you can see the little burn marks

on their ankles from standing in shitty conditions. You can see all that. Yeah. But I just don't like the idea that eggs... eggs are amazing! They're like, it's like life! It's like a symbol of life and continuation and goodness. I know, but... When you put them in a pie or a pancake or something, I love them. Yeah, that's... I i mean and that's great but but people who choose not to eat them have decided their path and they and there's alternatives for

them like they they know what's the alternative to an egg i don't know that but i'm sure they know if they've decided not to have them like i i'm not gonna spend all my time going into it i have no intention of ever being a vegan so i I know bits and pieces about them, but- I would say the alternative to an egg is- I'm not doing a thesis on them or anything either. I just want to understand the egg problem. It's probably... look, it's just animal cruelty. We eat billions of chickens, and so many of them are solely kept for eggs, and I think

that it's just a cruelty thing. I think if you're lucky enough to know somebody, your neighbour keeps chickens and treats them well and you can enjoy their eggs, good. That's great. But that's not everybody, right? There's fucking 8 billion people in the world who probably don't have access to a cool neighbour that keeps chickens. So everybody has their reasons. Everyone has their own. I would would say why not uh have a little um edamame instead why not have a little radish why not have a little tomato all right i'm not having a go at anyone that lives this way but if you make a moral decision to live a certain

way yeah i think if you can't justify it beyond well everyone gets to do what they want just to shut up i don't think that's a defensible position. You should be able to at least have a star that you can explain. That's all I'm saying. My position is not, I'm not the best advocate for veganism here, and I'm not going to give you the best argument. No, you've done a great job. No, but I'm also a 40-year-old guy who's been on a health kick

and feels like I want to, you know, I'm almost starting to take up jogging or something jeremy like that's bad at your age exactly like you know i'm i'm i'm that kind of person though this sort of guy who's like thinking about eating protein shakes and you know drinking fuel or whatever and and talking about calisthenics or whatever the fuck and timing my heart or whatever what's he i'm of that. We know so many people who are doing this, who were cycling around to places and, you know,

of our age who are like suddenly thinking like, fuck, I'm feeling old now. We talked about this at the start of the podcast. And they've, they've got a health kick. And one of the health kicks is this. And,

and that was my, my reason to not eat eggs was entirely, um, on a health kick, healthful and, and not a moral decision at all but the moral thing was a happy bonus and so i can't i can't really say that i took the high ground you know i i'm acting selfishly and we all do yeah everyone acts i just try i i try and sometimes my best you

should in fact often you should i'm sorry, this is just how it is. The world's too short, the world's too full of misery for you not to act selfishly sometimes. Well, you know what? We're going to reach peak human, I think they said 2080. We're going to hit 10 billion. I'm past my peak, human. No, no, no. You're not personal peak. So are you. Not personal peak, as a species.

But then, all the estimates think the decline is gonna be precipitous. Like, we're gonna go from 10 billion to 2 billion in a very short space of time. That'll be good. Geez. No, it will be a disaster. When is this meant to happen? Well, it means all the problems will be solved. No, they will not be solved.

Well, but, yeah they will. No, they won't. The reason the problems- There'll be a hundred when this happens the reason there's a precipitous decline is because specifically the problems have not been solved man and oh no i hope they don't throw me under the bus when i get really old oh you're you're a dead man it's because people are having well probably having less kids like okay there's three of us how many kids have we got between us five five exactly right

so we're decreased oh that's not good oh no but we got we you got wives as well and i've i have inverted commas a wife which i don't but these countries most countries will have a negative birth rate right yes that's the thing that's the that's the big thing however do you remember when when i was talking about the Haven, the underground Haven, last week, and I was discussing how would you have skills and all the rest of it in that scene? How much intelligence as a species would we lose in a declining population? How much would you lose your mind if you got down there, and one of your primary food sources was chicken eggs, and somebody said, I won't eat them?

I'd say, I won't eat them. I'd say, I don't give a fuck. That's more eggs for me. At that point, you wouldn't, yeah. What if they told you that the primary food was dog fluff, but it was harvested in a really cruel way? We shake the dog 24-7. I call this the dog shaker.

We need more food. Rung, rung, rung, rung, rung, just shake it. Everyone's getting hungry. Turn the dog shaker. We need more food! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN Everyone's getting hungry, turn the dog shaker up! Get in there, Fido, and you better shed, you son of a bitch, we're starving! Let the howling of the dogs commence as we shake them for food and spin them! Oh, fucking hell. Those poor bald dogs. Yeah.

No, I mean, I think yes, a lot of it will be negative birth rate. I think a lot of it will be... I was trying to imagine the other day, I was looking on YouTube, Dr. Simon Clarke does some videos about the environment and atmosphere conditions and shit like that, and there was one with Jon Stewart, who's made a return to The Daily Show this week. Right. Where if you watch it, he's brilliant a return to The Daily Show this week. Right. If you watch it, he's brilliant. He's always been really good. Exactly.

It's funny. Yeah. He's so, so good. Jon Stewart is so good. He's brilliant. Actually taking a really, really stressful, dark, annoying topic and then still being able to make jokes about it. Yeah. I think that is a real talent of these hosts.

And I know a lot of it is prepping in the script, but for me, it's very... Well, I mean, I can't match any of these people. He's very intelligent as well, which comes across. I just find it so hard sometimes to even try and make a joke about... When we have this on this podcast, I don't say it all the time, we talk about these really dark topics and then none of us manage to make any jokes about them.

Whereas I think Jon Stewart would always be able to do something like that right but without seeming flippant i think that's the skill is that if like let's say we're talking about something really dark and you just came in with a joke you'd be like well that just seems flippant and you've kind of dismissed a dark topic by just making fun of it well exactly but they they managed to not do that i think uh yeah anyway shit now you've made me forgot my fucking point sorry well i john stewart what a lad like honestly i mean he's gone on he did a lot of like fighting for 9-11 yeah oh i remember that stuff i remember now really interesting so it was uh it was a few years

ago it was a clip from when he was on the daily show originally and it was uh an american uh senator or congressman, I don't know the difference, whichever one it is, talking about climate change. And he said, what I don't understand is, and this is basic high school physics, as far as I can tell, is that they're worried about this ice melting,

but the ice is already, it's already in the water. So when I have ice cubes in my glass of water, it doesn't displace the water out when it melts, it just melts. So all this stuff about how the ice is going to raise the sea levels, I just don't buy it. I mean, that's just grade school science. That's like his argument.

And Joe Stewart is like, yes, but those ice cubes are not in the water right now. They're on the land. And imagine taking all these ice, and then he has like a glass where he chucks all these ice cubes in it. And I just think, how are these people allowed to ask these questions unopposed and have people nod and go, yes, that's right. He makes a good point.

How is he not laughed out of that room? I don't think they give a fuck because they know none of this affects them. Because they're all old, and they're probably going to be dead within ten years or whatever, and none of this stuff affects them. And they don't care. I just can't imagine living like that. I really can't. Thinking like that. There's so many people that are like that, though.

It's insane. Well, the other thing about it is it's very hard to, when you're on the spot in the interview as the host, to ask the right questions and fact check and listen and explain, right? Because you basically have to teach an idiot and gently explain to them why they're wrong in a way that they're just not going to either shut down or you know no one's going to understand it so so you almost have to have a team of people in your ear quickly googling putting together what you should say yeah or be like an absolute polymath of knowledge because you never know what bollocks these

people are going to come out with. Do you know what I think? One of the ways that we could actually, I mean, obviously I know people would never agree to it because it might make them look like idiots or it might reveal their points as being just based on absolute bollocks, is that if you're going to have political discussion about something, what you should do is you can bring certain... It's like an exam. You can bring certain material with you, but independent fact checkers check these statistics, check these facts, and if they're wrong, they say, actually, this is different. It's not 5 million, it's one and a half, or whatever it is. And it's like, if you still want to use it, feel free, but you're not allowed to use that. You're not allowed to

reference that now without us putting up on screen fact check this is actually wrong um there's no excuse not to have that this is like it's like var in football right they should be able to say wait let us just fucking fact check that because instead people just come out and they'll list statistics and facts as if they're true and no one's going to take the time to go check them themselves very few people no like when i'm reading an article or something and it makes some claim i'll generally go and see if i can find some other sources that say that same kind of thing or there's often an article saying why this is other articles absolute bollocks and you can read that like a debunking if you like of all this stuff it just doesn't exist obviously the main problem with this though is that if you're not

careful it sort of can stifle these debates to the point where everyone's scared to say anything. Because a lot of people, like we're used to this with Twitch chat, right? I'll say something and people are like, well, not exactly. Right. Yeah. You have like the exhausting. But they don't say that. They just say, Lewis, you're wrong.

Yeah. Right. And I'm like, well, I'm not wrong, but i wasn't exactly right that's not the same right do you mean if as long as you have the spirit of it is that enough that's the question right and so what you end up with is it tends to be who you would want to believe i think this is the problem with people like russell brand people he's a cunt people choose to follow him because they they think he is good thinker for them, like a surrogate thinker. They're like, I can't be asked to think, but this guy's doing the thinking. But then when he's got a following and he knows who they are, he can play up to them as well.

I watched a really interesting thing about Russell Braddon, how he went through these eras of kind of, you know, darling of the left and the guardian. You know, when he was sort of coming out and making these things about, you-conservative, anti-establishment stuff, really. But then he sort of shifted into, when it wasn't really working, he sort of shifted into being this yoga guru, ice bath arsehole. And then he shifted again, and this is his most recent one, into conspiracy nut stuff. And it's obviously because it happened during COVID. And it's literally because his videos were getting 20K views.

Then he made one about COVID vaccines not being real. And he was getting 2 million views. And he completely turned around. And all the people that he was criticizing 10 years ago and who were criticizing him, he's chumming up with now and on Fox News and with all of his mates. It's actually a complete 180 so so obviously the guy has absolutely no moral compass whatsoever or is entirely a puppet he's a nut like just blowing in the winds of whatever will pay him the most it's it's kind of disgusting and does he have no independent thoughts or no like. Yeah, he does. But it just mostly revolves around how can I make more money?

I think, for example, like looking at someone like Bernie Sanders, right. He never changed his view or his mind in 50 years. He was doing these marches, marching for things. And his he would say the same things 50 years later. You know, he was so he picked his like path and it was a really good progressive you know healthy healthy sort of not socialist but kind of you know supporting labor rights and people you know people but not the people's party obviously but you know yeah um i know we know what you mean it was a good he was he was... I mean, and he sort of... He didn't shift from that, right?

And I just have, like, great respect for that. And I think that Russell Brand doing such a 180 in 10 years is astonishing to see. And I think, unfortunately, what it's done is it's dragged a lot of people with him. You know, he did amass a following because a lot of the stuff he was saying back in the day was good and even the spiritual stuff wasn't harmful

particularly it's a bit wishy-washy and a bit nonsense it can be a dangerous path to walk if you're taking advantage of vulnerable people with it like being a medium or spiritual stuff all of that has

crystals, all of it has a slight reek of taking advantage of of people yeah you know so look i think regardless of how i'm just thinking about whether having all this fact checking all of it matters i'm just looking at a post um where there is some conspiracy nuts and qa non-types that now think that usher who performed at the super bowl yeah uh grand final was wearing a human suit. And when he took a show, if you could see the zipper for the human suit at the back of his body.

And he was doing this to show people, hey, look, it's a suit. I'm not a real person. Right. Just to let you guys know, it doesn't matter what we do. These people are out there. Usher wasn't the thong song guy, right? No, that was Sisko. Right.

I wonder if he also is in the same boat where he has a human suit on. Sisko. I think anyone successful is one of the lizard people. One of the lizards. Is the way these guys see it, yeah. But some of them are trying to free the rest of us, the basic humans. Right. And so when they accidentally drop a quote unquote clue, that's because they're

trying to let us in on it. Hey, not everything you see is real. Right. You know what I mean? The Illuminati controls everything. And who are these brave warriors who are going to rescue us from the lizard people? Well, Usher. Usher.

Oh, Usher is not a lizard person and- No, he is a lizard guy. Right. But he's gonna help us. Oh, he's going and he lizard person. No, he is a lizard guy. Right. But he's going to help us. Oh, he's taking it down from the inside, you mean? Yeah, yeah. Thankfully. Right.

Oh, that's why he's giving us clues. One Billboard Hot 100 hit at a time. Yeah. Okay, so what does he need then for the revolution to work? Because who's involved already? Well, if you post on facebook about it right you're a part of the revolution so okay just make sure that if you see a badly made photoshop or meme right on facebook you repost that shit and you put with the finger pointing up and it's saying

this is that all i need to do to help save the world yeah yeah okay and maybe get a t-shirt or some shit right you can do that well that sounds easy and also yeah just be a be a be a twat basically and uh well that's no problem for me exactly we can manage that yeah we could all do that yeah yeah i mean i do that 24 7 i'm halfway there same here i just need to start retweeting some just wish there was more hours in the day for me to be a twat just uh only uh only oh god um yeah so yeah truth i don't know how i feel about it uh it will be nice truth i don't know how i feel about it just it will be nice i don't know i want i just want more like i want i've just given up checking no here's the plan we live

30 30 years ago and we didn't have the fact-checking ability to, right? You have to get the Microsoft Encarta CD to look up a fact. No, I feel like people had some kind of fucking integrity. A little bit more integrity. Not a huge amount. It's weird that it's gone the other way, though. I would say a little. In a day where we have the facts within an arm's reach-

But are they actually the facts? Well... There's facts, and there's alternative facts, alright? That's what you gotta learn. What is a fact, really? It's an opinion, isn't it? So opinions can vary, so therefore, in my opinion, my facts are correct. I love that.

I love it when someone does that, like, high school, basic high school, like, trying to explain things, you know. Well, I mean, in my house, the winter was particularly cold this year, so couldn't we just warm up the world a little bit? It would help me greatly. It's Eugene Levy.

We all go on holiday to hot countries, and we'd be like, they're just fine. So what's wrong with the world warming up a bit? I think there is a lot of that shit in the back of people's minds, though. Do you know what I mean? Like that stupid thought. No, I think it's actually more banal than that.

I think, given that flat earthers literally take pictures of a field and say, uh, it looks flat to me. People are very locally minded and the internet has, we're not ready to think about what's happening all over the world all the time, being in contact with people all the time. We never will be. So if you can tell someone, look, the world is heating up, the oceans are getting warmer. And I'm like, well, it's cold today. It's too easy for people to think locally because that's human nature. Yeah.

So it doesn't really matter. At the same time, knowing all this stuff is happening, I'm not saying don't pay any attention. It is important to pay attention to it and to try to do things or whatever. But like, you know, whether you know or not, what are you going to really do about it? What can you do about it? You're like, what can one person do about it? Well, you could start your own little farm.

Yeah, you can. Get some dogs, you know? You could. Get a little comb and eat their fur. A lot of this stuff really is pretty insignificant though. Like, Even if everybody did it, it would still be pretty insignificant. Who cares about them? You know, they're out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, yeah.

You just stay in your own little valley, turn the internet off. I'm not saying like, oh, well, let's see. I'm not being fickle about it. I am concerned about it, the science and everything. Well, of course you're concerned about the world, because you've got kids who are going to inherit this world. Yeah, of course. Of course you're worried about the future that they inherit.

It changes your view. But the changes that people are talking about, I can't make any of those changes. I can make some personal changes, but I mean, good for me, but I mean, you know what, they have to come from a much higher place where it can have a lot more impact, but there's so many forces against making any change. This is a very common feeling that you're describing here. The whole thing just feels really hopeless. I cannot do a thing about it. I can try to conserve my plastic bags, and I can do my best, but ultimately, I don't think that even doing my absolute best is going to make an ounce of difference

whatsoever. The singularity will save us, don't worry. We're going to come up with an AI, and we're going to entrust it, and it's going to take over and enslave the human race. Yeah. That's how we'll survive. going to entrust it and it's going to take over and enslave the human race. Yeah. I just resent there being some sort of sense of responsibility around this stuff on the everyday person when we're following the script. People have said to us, this is how you can live, this is what you should do, these are the things that you should buy, this is the way that you should... These are the things you can do to pay your bills and stuff. And we do it, right? Like,

like what else are we going to do? Like we've been brought up in this society by our parents who did it, by their parents who did it as well. And now it's like, okay, but can you help out? And can you, can you reverse catastrophic climate change? Well, no, I don't know how to do that, sorry. I like how the government turned up at your place in a helicopter. Yeah, and it's like, okay, you got any ideas? I was kind of hoping you did, actually. No, they turned up. They say, get in! I'm just working at a desk and paying my bills, like you told me to. I didn't

realize I had to do more. A desk? Yeah. Couldn like you told me to i i didn't realize there was i had to do more desk yeah couldn't you just work on a rock yeah no you know i don't want to be flippant about it i do but it's a fucking joke at the same time of course because it's put on us yeah it's so stupid like oh yeah to maybe use less of this don't fucking make it if you don't want me to use it i will soon stop using it if you stop fucking making it how about that it's not fucking hard is it that's true it's so stupid i know i think though i to be positive i do think that this this sort of thought process is not we're not it's not unique to us it is is the general consensus. And I think that will filter through to the people in power.

And once the generation of old men running things dies off, things will turn around. They'll just be replaced by other old men, though. There's old men waiting in the wings to replace the other old men. You've seen them. Yeah, but hopefully those old men were not Russell Brand. The up-and-coming old men are just as bad, if not worse, than the current old men. This is why people were saying Jon Stewart should run for president. But the people who should run for president never would in a million years because it sucks.

That's the thing, though. The old thing is that the best person to be president is someone who doesn't want to be president. That's why Jon Stewart should probably be president. And in a sense, there is precedent that a comedian becomes president. That's what Zelensky was, right? And he's doing pretty well. He was a comedian? Yeah.

Jeez, but he is not funny anymore. Well, no, I mean, a couple of years of war will do that to you. Yeah, it took the funny right out of me. Can't crack any jokes anymore. I liked it when you were funny fucking hell oh man oh god yeah

so um yeah I think that that would be you think I'm funny I did three tours of duty in Vietnam how funny is that you son of a bitch

I preferred when you were funny fucking hell oh good grief so yeah we're just doing our best everyone and I think hopefully the precipitous decline in humans might fix everything let's not bank on that

eat a few more eggs yeah try not to buy plastic bags for 70p bring your own fucking hell that has worked it has worked but it's like i'm saying like just if you if you don't make them we won't use them we have to find some other way to carry our shit you know what i mean like i'm not gonna make my own plastic bags i can't do that so right plastic bag use falls by more than 98%. Yeah, of course it has!

I've got about 500 pounds worth of plastic bags in my garage! Like of course it has! But I take bags with me every time, even the corner shop, I'm taking a bag. It's become... So the thing is, if there is a willpower, like the number one way to change people's behaviour has almost always been to make them pay for shit things as long as there's an alternative so for example if you don't want your town center being clogged with cars parking fucking everywhere and driving around like shitheads

you add a parking like meters a fine for parking like an idiot and you offer public transport and that does generally work because you think oh no no, we'll never be able to park. Fuck it, we'll get the bus. Well, of course. If you don't have that option, or sorry, if you have the option to drive, a lot of people would just drive. So with plastic bags,

you add a very small price and suddenly people are like, oh no, fuck it, I'll just bring one. And that does matter. So I understand what you're saying about how we feel helpless. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Absolutely.

Imagine this, they can take it further though. So the straws thing, right? Replacing plastic straws with paper straws. Everyone's like, these paper straws is not as good. They still work. And they don't last forever. Yes, they're maybe not as good, but we're not adding billions of fucking straws to just sit around. so it does

matt but but hold on hold on hold on when do you need a straw like desperately though right right you need one when you're having a drink and the drink is gone and now the straw is it's useless now because it's a paper straw but you don't need it anymore no no but did you but i'm saying do you need do you really need a straw in the first place? Probably yes, for some things. Like what? For example, well, if you get a drink from, say, McDonald's or from any fast food place, you need a straw. You do need a straw.

A milkshake, you need a straw. You can't eat it without a straw. You need- Well, that's because they have shit cups. Yeah, their cups are shit. That's why. Their cups are not shit. They don't leak.

That's the point. You can't take the top off a McDonald's cup and drink a drink without a straw, it's too flimsy. That coke will be everywhere. And they fill it to the brim because they want to make you get your money's worth. It's a whole psychological trick. But as long as it's recyclable, it doesn't really matter if that's what people like. Well, some people have sensitive teeth, so you can just roll with it. Okay, so my point is that there is political willpower

from people to say, they took our straws, and some people are agreeing with that, and voting based on these stupid, shitty things like straws. Right. So when we're saying, what can we do about it? The first thing you could do is vote for people who do not say shit like that. Like, people who complain about a fucking straw as a thing worth talking politicians should never be discussing the fact

that i prefer the other straws who gives a shit it's obviously a good idea like there's no way you're just trying to curry favor with people what they should be talking about is the things that politicians should actually be dealing with and we should vote for those people so when you worry about what can i do we have a track record of never voting for those people we always vote for a lot of people vote for those people that's the problem so we need to try to convince people not to vote for those people that's pretty much all we can do right that's it well good luck with that yeah good luck well i think it's okay like the way i think it works is that imagine you want to get more people to cycle in or you want a reduced number of cars in town. So you're like, okay, let's build some cycle lanes. That won't start cycling, right? Like that's the way to sort of force change.

But of course, every change you make causes unexpected things, right? You know, maybe they're good, maybe they're bad. You don't know. Maybe there's a lot more accidents because of these changes. Maybe there's a lot more people who are healthy because of these changes. You know, you don't know what you're going to do when you make these changes. But I think you just have to make them with with positivity make them with a good attitude like yeah i think that this is going in the right direction and

you know that that's it let's um let's move on i've got some news uh i was enjoying the doom and gloom though honestly i just want to say basking that all right so uh flight simulator yes if you've seen this, have a Dune expansion. There's nothing in the world of Dune, it's a desert! I didn't know about the Dune expansion, but there is an expansion coming out for Flight Simulator, which adds missions and stuff to do, and rescue missions as well. There's going to be air ambulances and stuff. You can go out to the Alps and rescue people.

There's going to be cargoances and stuff you can go you can go out to like the alps and rescue people um there's gonna be like cargo delivery and stuff it's so it'll be you have to take people their holiday flights to the world of june all that kind of stuff the world of june it's one terrain i think that'll be more exciting than the dune dlc the other one wait for the other one i'd say skip the dune dlc and just wait for the other one the skies of arrakis are traversed by a deft craft called an ornithopter yeah the ornithopter a nimble flying machine propelled by four precisely tuned oscillating wings just imagine a dragonfly that's what you have to you have to you have to master five time trails and a daring rescue mission where aviators must save their flight instructor before he is engulfed by a massive sandstorm. That seems crazy to me.

I mean, I'm not being funny, but that is cheap to fucking make. I would not go into that one. Or you only need two textures. Sky and sand. Sand. That's it. You've done it. Well done, it's the Dune Pack.

Next, the North Pole. Then, the middle of the Pacific Ocean, whoa! I tell you what, the latest flight sim is spectacular. Like, if you fly to, like, Norway, or you fly over Hong Kong and stuff, oh, my God. It's so beautifully rendered and everything. Have they added textures now, Sips? Because when I flew over London, and it was shit.

The new one is great. Yeah, early on, there's some cities they didn't, but it's been out for long enough now where they've just gradually been adding more and more and more to it. Do I have to pay for it? I think New York, when the game launched, New York was like, pretty much done. Like, they spent a lot of time on some of like, the really big iconic cities. Sadly, London wasn't one of them. Yeah, London, not an iconic city, I guess.

Well, no, but I mean, I think it's just the actual, the amount of work involved in the task. It was always going to be something that was going to be sort of trickled out after launch. But do I have to pay for it? I don't think so. No, I think if you have to pay for anything, usually the DLC models for Flight Sim are just new planes, types of planes, and any big system overhauls as well, like this mission kind of stuff, and probably the

Dune stuff. But no, I think there's regular updates that come out. I'm not 100% sure, but I'm fairly certain that that's the case. Interesting. Alright, what's next, Lulu? So, okay. Biden, President Biden- Old man Biden! Has joined TikTok.

I'm on TikTok. Cookies! I like cookies. Dana Carvey does a really good impression of Joe Biden, where he walks around, he says stuff, but he finishes every sentence with the same phrase. You're like, well, come on now. Come on. You're kidding me.

Come on, fella. Get it together. We got the suppository potions and we got the Pirates of the Caribbean. It always comes down to the Pirates of the Caribbean. Gang, gang. Pirates of the Caribbean. Gang, gang. That's a nice bill. Yum yum.

That's a nice executive order. Delicious. I like cookies. Yum yum. Let us know if you eat eggs. Yeah. Let us know if you want Pirian to teach you how to suck eggs as well. Well, I would never offer to do that because that's not fair to the chickens.

We've been doing that for not fair to the chickens. We've been doing that for seven years. What? Eating eggs? Sucking eggs. Teaching people to suck eggs. No. We've been giving them our half-arsed advice.

We never give advice. We never give advice. I do. I give half-arsed advice all the time. What advice have we given? Well, be good to each other. Do Latin times or whatever it was. Stay frosty, that's good advice. Palentines. That's not advice. That. You know, do, do, do, do, Lattentimes or whatever it was. Stay Farsi, that's good advice.

Palentines. That's not advice. That's a suggestion. Call your nan, call your mum, give them your ring, see how they're doing. That's not advice. Check in. We have occasional emails where people are like, I need dating advice. Like the lad who asked-

We didn't fucking help that guy. Right, but he asked, my girlfriend's into James Corden, what do I do? Right? That was one of the emails. What was our advice on that one? I don't actually think we covered it. I think you advised him to break up with her immediately. Oh, yeah, that's right.

Because it'll be something worse next. That's like the canary in the coal mine. Yeah. All right, we're done. Thank you, everyone. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. all right we're done thank you everyone we'll see you next time