Triforce! - Triforce! #283: Hero Flax stops a fight

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Triforce! Episode 283! Pyrion intervenes and stops a fight breaking out on his street! Meanwhile, Sips is an old man and can't sleep right and Dr. Phil wants to be in Fortnite. Go to http://expressvpn....com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Pickaxe Joining me, Lewis, also Sips, hello, and Pirian. Hello. It's a lovely rainy March day here in Bristol. Not raining here. It ain't raining here neither. Geography, baby! Well, it's on the way. I think it hits us first, right? So I'm sending it over.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Yeah, West Coast gets wetter. That's a little special delivery from me to you. I call it the wet coast. Very clever little geography joke there for you. That's lovely. I enjoy it. So what have you been up to this week, lads? Anything interesting? Recovering from having to actually work for two weeks. Oh yeah, gosh, yeah, you're back.
Starting point is 00:01:03 You must be pleased. Yeah, I'm so pleased. I've been watching some movies, I've been chilling out, yeah, you're back, you must be pleased. I'm so pleased. I've been watching some movies, I've been chilling out, catching up on some TV, and just did a couple of odds and sods around the house, and just took my eldest to the dentist, she's finally gonna get her braces out in the next couple of months. Oh, that's great. So yeah. And then, just in time, I gotta take the youngest to get hers fitted.
Starting point is 00:01:23 So I know this dentist very well. Well, they can sort the same ones in. Yeah, can't you just reuse them? Just put them in a mouthful. We already picked these ones. I think that's like, it does happen, I'm sure, but it's pushing it, right, these days. It has to be pretty good to be a hand-me-down with teenagers, right? They ain't no charity cases.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Indeed. They want new stuff. They're a new generation of young'uns. They want the hot new thing. They got expectations. They got standards. They got standards. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:55 I had a bit of drama yesterday in my road. Okay, this is what we're here for. In my road. This is what we're here for. This is what we're here for. I just remembered it. So, me and Mrs. F, we're having an online meeting with someone upstairs, and I hear this yelling out in my road.
Starting point is 00:02:10 And I think, oh, maybe it's just there's some builders working down the road. I thought maybe they're up to something. And it keeps going, and I hear it sort of escalating and getting quite heated. So I have a peek outside, and there's a bunch of my neighbors having an argument with a traffic enforcement officer, parking warden, right? And there's two traffic wardens and there's like six of my neighbors. And they're having a big stand-up argument in the road. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:33 And I'm like, I mean, it looks like it's going to come to blows. So quickly pop some trousers on and my shoes because I was in my PJs. Go downstairs and I play peacekeeper. I go and sort it out. And I don't want to see people getting clobbered. So I want to find out what the situation is. And we have, like most of Twickenham, has parking permits
Starting point is 00:02:53 because we get rugby traffic and they're animals. They'll park anywhere. And people will drive up here from outside London, park up anywhere they can find in Twickenham and they get the train into London because that's cheaper.
Starting point is 00:03:04 They're getting a train all the way. That's a thing that people did. So for a while, there was nowhere to park on the roads around here. So the permits were brought in. There is a situation where some of the people around here have garages. And those garages, people will park their own car in front of their own garage, which they're using for storage. And they'd assumed that this was sort of their
Starting point is 00:03:25 land, if you like. No one else can park in front of the garage because you can't park in front of the garage. So they were like, well, it's basically mine. I'll park there. So they were parking in front of their garages and traffic wardens would occasionally give them tickets if they wandered around here. And eventually some of my neighbors had a conversation with the traffic wardens and the guys were like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. You, you can park there. No problem.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Yesterday, traffic enforcement lads out. He's got his uniform on. He's got the other guy. They're sort of backing away from this crowd of people yelling. And I go out there, I'm like, well, what's the problem? What's the problem? And they're like, he's given tickets to some of us and not others. I didn't get one because I, we had a permit and they'd, they have this big fucking argument.
Starting point is 00:04:04 They ended up swearing each other. The traffic had this big fucking argument. They end up swearing each other. The traffic warden's swearing at them. They're swearing at the traffic warden. And one of my neighbors is getting right up in the face of the traffic warden. I still, Christ, they're about to have a fight. And I'm like, you know, trying to calm it down. Eventually, the boss of the traffic wardens comes up, explains the situation. And I was like, all right, look, look, I will talk to the council. We'll get a resolution on this. Don't worry about it. And they're like tearing the tickets, look, look, I will talk to the council. We'll get a resolution on this. Don't worry about it. And they're like tearing the tickets off and throwing them at the traffic.
Starting point is 00:04:29 It was a big fucking to do. So I'm in the middle of the process of talking to the council and figuring out what the hell we meant to do, because it's unclear communication. Like, I think people just want consistency. And these tickets are like one hundred and ten quid. So it's a lot of fucking money. Yeah. So, yeah, that was that. But I think if I hadn't gone out, it genuinely could have come to blows.
Starting point is 00:04:51 It was a sketchy old situation. Are you... Is the later years of your life, are you looking to get into local politics or whatever? Because this seems to come up time and time again with you. You seem to have an interest in your local community. You need to be about 20 years old to do that. You like to get in and mediate. You've spoken to your local MP and stuff. Like all these, you've done more for your community than I've ever done for mine.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Or will ever do for mine, I should say as well. If I see somebody outside in the road fighting, I watch safely from my window and I get the popcorn out as well. Well, dare I say it, but that's what's wrong with modern Britain, young Chris. I mean, we're conditioned. It's a conditioning thing, right? You're going off the grid with it. You've been conditioned as well, but you're just refusing it. I don't know what it is. I just figured these systems are there, and people don't use them. The whole point is the system of complaining to the council, the system of going to see
Starting point is 00:05:55 your MP, that exists. And if you don't use it, what's the point in it? Do you ever think, though, if you see somebody outside in an altercation, they're just about to get into a fight, how shit would it be? Okay. Bear with me here. How shit would it be if you went out with all the best intentions in the world to mediate and you got stabbed and died? That would fucking suck. So bad. It's so avoidable. And I'm sure it happens too. Oh, 100%. In America, you probably go out, hey, hey guys, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:06:28 Bang! You just get your head blown off. Right. You know? Nothing to do with you. You know? Like, you could have just stayed inside. And I think that's why people do stay inside, you know?
Starting point is 00:06:36 They probably think, oh fuck, I'm not going out there. Right. What if this guy stabs me or shoots me or something? That's not a likely result of this dispute. If it was a bunch of kids with the masks over their face, hoods up- I wanna say that to the last guy that got stabbed or shot, trying to mediate that dispute. I don't think it was-
Starting point is 00:06:54 It's not likely, but still, it does happen. I think it's still worth sort of considering, at least. I suppose another way of looking at it is um that i don't think it's likely that my neighbors in twickenham are going to start stabbing traffic wardens i really don't think that no but some of these altercations get really heated and people lose their minds especially around traffic and and cars holy crap people lose their minds like they oh my god i'm not so right but i'm not stepping into an ongoing fight. There's whole TV shows based around neighbours from hell because of parking
Starting point is 00:07:31 situations and stuff. This is not an uncommon thing. I agree. It's like a plague on society. This is because people have got nothing else to do. Like Pirin said, they're old, or they're like bored or they've got this tiny box factory job life and and they they care about fuck all but but ruby the neighbor who parks at two inches into my allocated spot which is not allocated in front of my driveway because even though but it's all we
Starting point is 00:08:05 all understand we've spoken to one traffic warden one time and told him you know but i guess the whole problem is with this is that the traffic wardens a shouldn't be getting into this kind of nonsense anyway they should just put the ticket in and run off you know i mean as soon as someone's up in their face they should be walking away like they should not be escalating this or trying to talk them down you shouldn't even be able to negotiate with traffic wardens, right? There's no allocated space in front of your driveway. You are still parking on the road.
Starting point is 00:08:30 You know you rolled the dice, right? Even though you're in the right in your head. If you want to rip a ticket off your car and throw it on the floor, go for it, right? But they'll still send you the fucking ticket, right? No one's in the right here, for a start, with all these middle class Twickenham livers with their second car parked out in front of their house, but still on the road.
Starting point is 00:08:49 I mean, it's definitely not- I can see you've got all the facts at your disposal. A lot of this to me is alien, because I grew up in a middle class suburb in North America where none of this was ever an issue. There was parking- We need a lot of space up there. Parking was not a problem. You generally had a driveway that could fit at least two cars comfortably.
Starting point is 00:09:10 Not even just wedged in so that it was annoying or whatever. But if it wasn't that, it would be the fence. It would be the tree. It would be some bush. It would be some other thing. There's elements of that, but it's not that bad. And a lot of it is already controlled by bylaw, who will just drive around and check on all this stuff anyway, before people even get a chance to complain about it. They're trying to put a swimming pool in their front yard. It would never happen. Like there's people like going by and checking this stuff all the time and issuing you with fines and whatever for breaking these bylaws. I don't remember ever there being drama around any of this. I'm sure it happens in, in America,
Starting point is 00:09:50 they got like housing associations and stuff. And I think that it happens maybe more there or whatever, but certainly like in the neighborhood I grew up in Canada, there's, it was never, there's never any issues. You had your one allocated tree that was like two meters away from the sidewalk. And, you know, like when they built the suburb, everything was built to those codes and stuff. And most people just didn't really do anything to break that, you know? I think a couple of times people got told off for having like an RV parked in their
Starting point is 00:10:21 driveway or whatever, which is like a big no-no uh but that's it you know no one no one likes being slapped with a fine from a traffic warden especially for something that they think is they're not doing anything wrong i mean it's like it's like a massive injustice and they yeah they you could see why they're really mad about it but actually yelling at a guy who's basically you know paid to walk around and and find these i mean he's paid by the fine often these traffic wardens right they they make their money by actually putting tickets on they get paid per ticket do you mean often so that kind of encourages them holy crap be proactive and if if they can if they see a little that sounds like such a stressful job imagine you're just like walking the beat you're like
Starting point is 00:11:01 fuck how am i gonna put food on the table tonight? There's nobody's breaking the law, there's no tickets! There's no tickets to issue! I gotta make up- I gotta invent some tickets! Yeah, so you can see everyone's shit in this. There's not an asshole here, but I do think that getting in someone's face and yelling at them is a real not- something not to do. I agree, that's why. You wouldn't do that in a restaurant, right?
Starting point is 00:11:25 No, I've seen that. Yell at a server. I've seen that in restaurants. I know. It always blows my mind. Well, people, some people, I feel like a lot of people, when it comes to any kind of dispute, have no idea how to be reasonable and escalate very quickly.
Starting point is 00:11:42 I mean, that's why people go, road rage and stuff, is people go from zero to 100 miles an hour in terms of their anger very, very quickly. And listen, you can see why, because maybe they're already at their anger limit from something else that's maybe not legitimate or maybe is legitimate that's triggered them. And everyone has a bad day, right?
Starting point is 00:12:00 We're not saying that people don't get angry. And some people are just complete cunts. That's just the way it is. But some people are worse than others. I put myself in that category. Self-identifying as a complete cunt. Yep. Oh my.
Starting point is 00:12:17 I had a bit of a tidy up in my office yesterday. Oh! I chopped out so much stuff. There was just things that piled up over time. And I just thought, you know what, I don't need all this crap. So I threw out a bunch of stuff. It felt pretty good. Something feels good about chucking out a bunch of stuff. What did you chuck away then?
Starting point is 00:12:35 Oh gosh, let me think. Is it mostly papers or is it like old stuff that you just don't have like- Do you have any boxes just filled with cables? Yeah, I've got two big cable boxes. Yeah, same. God. My wife is always like, hey, can you throw those out? Like, at some point? I'm like, well, what if I need them? But like, the thing is, I've got cables, but they're confined to two little boxes in the garage. They're not in anybody's way, you know? It's the same.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Yeah, it's the same. But so, for example, I had, like, when I got my graphics card, I had the box for that, and for some reason, kept the box. Yeah. I don't need the box. I know. I'm never gonna need it. I get that.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I keep boxes and stuff sometimes. So it's like a huge box. Throw that away. I bought a fucking steering wheel for a game. I never ended up using the steering wheel, because I got sick of the game before the steering wheel arrived, but it is what it is. And I had this huge box for that, so I threw the box out. I just sort of said, I better keep the box. Loads of things, just thinking, I'd better keep the box. You know what really helped me with getting rid of a bunch of boxes and old
Starting point is 00:13:39 steering wheels and stuff? Go on, sir. That time my garage flooded. The bad flood. Yeah, no shit. It just damaged so much stuff, I had to throw it out. So it was a very steering wheels and stuff. Go on, sir. That time my garage flooded. The bad flood. Yeah, no shit! It just damaged so much stuff, I had to throw it out. So it was a very cleansing... You know, it was like a purifying event, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:54 Do you feel like Marie Kondo? A bit like when God destroyed all of mankind above. Yeah, it's like God was saying, throw out all those fucking boxes and that stupid steering wheel that you used one time. That's what the flood was about, mate. That's what it was all about. They missed that bit out in the Bible where he was like, this place is fucking messy. I didn't have time to Noah's Ark all my fucking boxes and my cables and the old controllers
Starting point is 00:14:16 and steering wheels and stuff. They all got wrecked. What a dumb fucking story. Like, I'm sorry, but that is one of the dumbest fucking stories in the Bible. I don't want to go off on an anti-religious thing, but what the fuck? Dude floods the entire fucking planet, are you fucking kidding me? They didn't have any- their story was great back then, they just didn't have anything, you know, they didn't have any fun ideas or anything back then.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Most people just lived in a desert and ate scorpions and that's it. They didn't have any- You barely touched your scorpion! Yeah, I know, and that's it you know like they didn't have any you barely touched your scorpion yeah i know but that's we just didn't have any fucking it like there was no uh there's nothing to influence like any creativity or anything right it was it came later i will say this i will say this a lot of religions that predate the the sort of ab Abrahamic religions also have the same fucking stories. A lot of Christianity, and even the Judaism foundation, a lot of that stuff is from even older religions. Like the whole idea of a big flood, that's not fucking original.
Starting point is 00:15:19 That's like a fucking cover version of some other story. Yeah, some oral tradition. Floods have happened since prehistoric human story, and a lot of the creation story and everything. Yeah, some oral tradition. Yeah, it's all fucking ancient. Floods have happened since prehistoric human times, and they've always been a thing, you know? Yeah, exactly. People are aware that those things can happen, and I think that that's very easy
Starting point is 00:15:36 to adapt into, you know, combine all these stories together, that you've heard. I've reached an all-time low recently in my life. I'm sorry to hear that. I know. Well, I got this pinched nerve in my neck, which I've been to physio for, and it's helping, but it's still quite sore. It's better than it has been. It's a lot more manageable.
Starting point is 00:15:57 But my sleeping situation is, I feel like an 85-year-old when I'm in bed. I've got a pillow to this, because I can sleep now, finally sleep on my side. But it's like aided sleeping on my side. I can't sleep on my back. It hurts too much. So basically for about two or three weeks, the only way I could sleep was like, you know, when you lay in the bathtub, you lay low in the bathtub and your neck and head are like upright. But the rest of your body is laying flat. That's the only way I could sleep for like two or three weeks.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Good God. Snoring like a- Like the elephant man. Yeah, it was awful. But slowly the pain's been sort of getting to a point where I can manage it a bit more and I can sleep on my side. But the only way I can sleep on my side is with one gigantic pillow directly in front of my torso that, you know, I'm facing it sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:16:47 So it looks like I'm hugging it or whatever. And then I have another pillow laid on top of that. So it's like a T shape of pillows on top of me. So I can rest my arm on there and that takes the load off the shoulder that hurts. And then what did the doctor say to do that and and also and also does just do the fucking massages and he does these like massages and and stretches and uh and he's giving me like some little exercises to do where i can floss my nerve i love the sound of it but um but because it's it's it's slightly trapped or it's it's being irritated by something that's trapping it or whatever, it needs to move so that you can get like, you know it, and then when you bring your arm back up, you look away from your arm, and that flosses the nerve like in and out of the little hole, like that
Starting point is 00:17:49 as it comes out of the like your vertebrae or whatever. So it's kind of like yoga, but very specific. Yeah, it's very, very specific, but it's nice. It is kind of relieving. Not like, instantly relieving, but like it does work. It does- it takes the edge off sort of thing. It's progressive. Yeah, yeah. God, this reminds me of where I've gone. It fucking sucks so bad. And it all started from sleeping. Like, it's not like I was out doing
Starting point is 00:18:12 something interesting, like pushing a car or like fucking digging a ditch or something like that, you know? I wasn't doing anything. I just fucking slept for one night And now it's like weeks of pain If people were like How did you do it? And you were like, oh, I did it like, you know, digging a trench I was involved in the biggest orgy And I fucking blew my neck out Like I couldn't believe it
Starting point is 00:18:38 No, nothing exciting Just one bad sleep You should tell people you got it in MMA, it's like an old MMA injury. Breaking up a fight in his road, is how he did it. Well, after the sixth consecutive roundhouse kick, I felt a slit twinge in my neck. No, nothing like that. I gotta change the subject, I wanna know if you guys have seen this.
Starting point is 00:19:01 Have you been watching Masters of the Air? No, I haven't. I'm told it's good, and i haven't watched it because it's one of those that my wife does not want to watch and i'm too lazy to watch it on my own so i have not gone around to it um it's it's good it got better like it's actually improved right as it's gone along uh i do have one question did i mention this last week i don't know know. Does Steven Spielberg hate British people? I think he likes specifically English people. I don't think he understands them, really. No, no. I think he actively dislikes us.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Oh, right. He always seems to cast really horrible English people in roles, right? Right. Sorry, not the actors themselves are not horrible, but mostly, like in especially in war movies that he's done or whatever. Oh, we're always the Nazis. A hundred percent. English generals or English, you know, people like even like even if like they turn up and they help or whatever, they're always quite rude and like shitty. But then when if an American turns up, it like oh hey buck here have you have my last
Starting point is 00:20:07 cigarette oh here have my last chocolate i was saving it for my my dog you know what i mean it's like that is literally what has happened they're like they're a lot more formed you know like maybe i'll give you some examples they're in a pub right the the you got so it's about the bomber pilots in world war ii and the difference about the bomber pilots in World War II. And the difference between the British and American approach was that the Brits would fly at night and the Americans flew during the day. And as a result of flying in the day, they suffered very heavy losses because they're just a big fucking cow in the air.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Yeah, getting shot at by- And the fighters could pick them off and they were getting shot. So they're in there, they're having a drink, and this absolute prick of a British officer is like, oh, perhaps you chaps would do better if you didn't fly during the day. Yeah. And they're like, well, step outside, we'll have a fight, bud.
Starting point is 00:20:53 And he's like, oh, I'll wipe the floor with you, you mucky American devil, you. And of course, gets his ass handed to him and the Americans are like, well, that's the end of that one. That's the end of that scene. There's another scene later, they're at a dinner a british officer is like oh you yanks are a bit rude and twatish aren't you what a bunch of cunts oh not like the english we're so much better than you and of course the american gets the last word and the british guy's like go gulp
Starting point is 00:21:16 he's put me in my place like it's it's fucking constant he rolls up his sleeve and he's got a tattoo on his arm that says i love amer America or something like that. Let's go! You fucking- It's just fucking continuous. You fucking limey, I'm gonna fucking batter you! Get me a limey! Well, British villains have always been a thing, right? No, but it's not- It's a very tropey thing, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:21:39 It's not about having British actors as the villains, because we can do that sort of clipped and haughty, that posh accent that sounds like an officer, and it sounds like a bad voice. I get it, right? Star Wars, Indiana Jones. Even today, a lot of officers still talk like that, right? Sandhurst, it's a very British upper class military thing. You know, Prince Harry serving in the military. It's still a thing.
Starting point is 00:22:01 It was really exaggerated in the 1940s, right? Because there was this quote of Americans are oversesexed, overpaid, and over here. Do you remember that? He says that to him. That's the line he says to the American lad. Wow. That's... But it's kind of a meme.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I guess like- Maybe Spielberg just takes it all very personally, and then- Certainly, early on in the war, we were kind of the british were kind of angry that the americans hadn't helped out for so long do you mean it was almost like there was a lot of there was a lot of resentment yeah and i think that that that faded once actually you know d-day happened but up until that point i think you've got to understand there's there's still a lot of like there's still a lot of different culture, especially in the military of the time,
Starting point is 00:22:51 at least in the officer class. So I don't think it's completely inaccurate historically. Although, of course, it always ends up the same way, doesn't it? They are unreasonably rude. Yeah, and the American gets the last word and puts him in their place in in saving private in the same private ryan i don't think we see a single british soldier anywhere apart from they talk about monty ted danson says oh don't tell me about monty i
Starting point is 00:23:16 think he's a complete bellend like i'm paraphrasing but that's literally what he says and it's like all right fuck off fine whatever and then in a band of brothers we see like one british tank commander and he's like a complete prick who gets his tank shot despite them the americans are like look we know what we're doing don't do this he's like oh i've got to do the stupid british thing and be a dickhead and it's like then he dies and they're rolling their eyes like brits it's like spielberg can you fuck off like what is the fucking problem he hates british people i'm telling you specifically fucking problem? He hates British people. I'm telling you, specifically, he hates English people. Hates English people.
Starting point is 00:23:47 You find me an example of a positive representation of English people in a Spielberg movie, feel free, send them into the mailbag. Well, here's the other thing, remember. In a television show or movie, you have to have conflict. You have to have an enemy that you can see. Not us! You can't have that be the Nazis, right?
Starting point is 00:24:03 Why not? You can't have that be the person on the other side, or the person you're bombing. Yeah, you never see them, right? The conflict has to be with the people who are your bosses, or the people who are your rivals in doing it, right? They're fighting the Second World War, Lewis! And it's this friendly rivalry, or it's not. How can their rivals not be the Nazis?
Starting point is 00:24:19 Well, no, but they don't speak to them, you don't see them. You don't see them, though. You could, directly in their face. You could tell their story, face. But we could. The thing is, they've got this source material of this book, right, which I presume was called Masters of the Air, about the life of these guys doing this. Rather than just have British characters being shitheads, why can't some of the Americans be shitheads to each other? Why do we have to be- if they need a shithead, they're like, right, we need a shithead for this scene, get an English bloke in.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Fuck off! If you wanna read a book that has Americans being shitty to each other and they're part of a bomber crew, read Catch-22, it's fantastic. Right, yeah, that is. It's so good, holy crap. Very funny. Where's that in school? I guess, again, it is very possible that Steven Spielberg had a very patriotic American education that was filled with anecdotes and stories about how Americans are the best and were wronged at every turn,
Starting point is 00:25:11 and ignores all the bad stuff they did. Because that often is what happens with countries' educations, you know? Kids grow up learning all the good things their country did, but they don't learn all the terrible things they did. Of course because we got enough of that anyway even even et had an american accent i mean come on right that's how much he loves america he had a american-centric upbringing due to listening to all those radio um waves sent over exactly the only country in the world that can do radio waves you see that's why that's why he picked up
Starting point is 00:25:46 all the americanisms i mean i i know that uh i think i might have mentioned this before if they are listening the very first uh broadcast oh they're listening is a hitler they're always listening they're especially listening now that you've said hitler no i'm not saying america i'm saying aliens oh sorry like the the sort of bow, if you like, of signals that we've been sending from Earth traveling for eternity through space. The very first one they'll get is a Hitler speech. Yeah. Because that was the first one broadcast in that way.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Oh, of course. That would potentially reach out to space. So they get that, and they'd be like, oh, they're still in black and white. Let's not visit this planet. That's what'll happen. Fuck, that'd be like, oh, they're still in black and white. Let's not visit this planet. That's what'll happen. Fuck, that'd be crazy, eh? If they actually intercepted that message all that time ago and really took it seriously, and the new threat of the entire world is space Nazis.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Like, they turn up in their ships and fucking swastikas everywhere. Yeah. And they're trying to meet up with the Third Reich. We loved your speeches. It changed our entire society. I think there's a sci-fi book that has something like that. Well, they turn up and they're like, we're here to stop Hitler. This guy's trouble.
Starting point is 00:26:53 This guy sounds no good. We're here to stop this guy. It was like, that was a thousand years ago, fella. Oh, shit. Right. Well, next on our list is English people. We watched all of Spielberg's movies and we hate English people. Yeah, they're over there, get them. Scotland are like, get involved!
Starting point is 00:27:11 Yeah, get them! They're fucking hell. They're doing there! Assassin acts are doing there where they've always been! In the dirt! Like, pointing. Fucking hell. They went that way! Oh my god. I wanted to say, part of my journey into some new depths recently, because I didn't actually finish. The sleeping situation with the neck problems is one thing, but I've been watching Married
Starting point is 00:27:40 at First Sight Australia every night, pretty much and also the apprentice as well so i got a double dose of shit on tv and a a single heavy dose of a shitty sleeping situation so it has been and also the baby uh keeps waking up at about one in the morning and insists on sleeping in our bed, which under normal circumstances is not a huge problem. You can kind of make a pillow fort around you because the problem is, is she it's the arms and legs going everywhere, you know, like digging into your back or kicking you in the face or whatever. But you can kind of make a pillow. But I can only sleep one way currently. or whatever but you can kind of make a pillow but i can only sleep one way uh currently so i can't make a pillow fort and i have to be kicked and punched and pinched and tickled all night long and it's annoying good lord it was really she uh she got her she had a cold earlier in the week
Starting point is 00:28:36 and insisted on trying to breathe through her nose which was completely blocked she did this while she was sleeping and what a fool it was so annoying so i was like and and also i was in pain i couldn't sleep so i was like fuck this i'm just gonna go downstairs and try to sleep on the couch in the living room which was just weird i hated it it's it's weird sleeping downstairs there's like different noises down there and stuff it's like it's creepy it's not comfortable it's cold like oh what a nightmare never sleep funny is my advice don't get don't get a pinched nerve oh it's awful good luck brother yeah before we carry on using the internet without express vpn it's like walking your dog in public
Starting point is 00:29:19 without securing them on a leash that doesn't sound safe they're gonna poop everywhere it's a nightmare exactly like more what what what if one day your dog runs away or snagged by the nsa and interrogated to find out all of your secrets but your dog in this instance actually knows you because your dog is your computer exactly it's better to be careful especially when it's so simple like using expressvpn every time you connect to an unencrypted network in cafes, hotels, or airports, your online data is not secured. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to and steal your personal data. But ExpressVPN creates a secure encrypted tunnel
Starting point is 00:29:55 between your device and the internet so they can't. It would take a hacker with a supercomputer a billion years to get through ExpressVPN's encryption. Good lord. ExpressVPN works on all devices, phone, laptop, tablet, on your smart TV, put it on your router, and it's very easy to use. You just fire up the app and click one button to get protected. I use ExpressVPN. I've got it on my computer, I've got it on my phone.
Starting point is 00:30:16 I recommend you do too. It makes me feel safer online and it's really easy. You just forget about it once it's going. So please get yourself an extra three months free of ExpressVPN at expressvpn.com slash Triforce. That's expressvpn.com slash Triforce. Thank you very much. On with the show.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Lewis, you got any weird news for us this week? I have. You know you're on GTA Online? No. Which we've played quite a lot of. I've never played it. Right. I played it one time and I spawned in and somebody killed me with a bazooka immediately. Same!
Starting point is 00:30:50 Yes, that happens. Well, we play a bit of GTA Online while we're waiting to do playlists sometimes, and we've been doing it for like, playing GTA Online for like ten years, oh my god, thousands of hours probably. It's just a fun thing to shoot the shit with. But you can't drive the train. But you can now. We can finally drive the train in
Starting point is 00:31:11 GTA Online. Only took 10 years. Only two directions possible. Forwards and backwards. It's a big deal. We're going to have to check that out because it's great news. There's some more heists and stuff. Again, isn't it crazy that it's been 11 years since GTA Online?
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's crazy. It is crazy. It's crazy. I can't believe it. What else you got? Sorry, let's move on. Dr. Phil. You know him? Yeah, I know Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil's a fucking lunatic. Has he lost his mind? I saw that he was on Joe Rogan and a bunch of stuff recently. Has he just gone completely the other way now? I can't remember what he was on Joe Rogan and a bunch of stuff recently, as he's just gone completely the other way now.
Starting point is 00:31:46 I can't remember what he was saying. I think he's a Republican scaremongering immigrants at the border, just repeating the political bollocks. Oh yeah. Sending over a military-aged manor coming into the country. These guys have got six-packs, they're in great shape. John Stewart did a bit about it, where he was like, He did a bit about it, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:06 I wanna go down there and get ass deep in those boys. Yeah, no, he's obsessed. I mean, I will say this, the number of people arriving in the United States is insane. It's so many people every single day. It's pretty crazy. But I certainly don't think it's any one person's problem so much as just the nature of being the richest country in the world next to a country that has a lot of fucking poverty like i don't know absolutely yeah it's crazy um so yes he wants
Starting point is 00:32:38 to be in fortnight dr phil wants to get me in the Fortnite. I can do the dancing. I love Tomato Town. I want to get in there and crack 90s on noobs. I want to be number one Fortnite player in the world. That's my challenge for this year. And what is so bad about that? What's wrong with that? Why does he
Starting point is 00:33:12 want to be in Fortnite? He's in Fortnite. So he says he's like Eminem and Eminem has a skin in Fortnite. I'm like Eminem. I got the bars and I got the bitches. I don't know what's the problem.
Starting point is 00:33:29 I drop a juice on someone's head. I don't know what that means. I got my clock and I'm ready to rock. That's what I know. That's Uncle Phil way. Uncle Phil. Uncle Phil. Uncle Phil, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Oh, fucking hell. Oh, man. what else you got so we sorry there's a there's a whole article right about that but i don't want to fucking talk about dr yeah toyota have made a motorbike that looks like a pokemon fuck off it's a motorcycle uh you google it toyota pokemon motorcycle oh why isn't it just a big pikachu is this mu mu2 is that who that is it's some it's some pokemon even i don't recognize miradon miradon miradon miradon yeah does the motorcycle have an evolution uh what like a transformer you know what I'm saying? I don't think... I think Mirai-don sounds like it's already fully evolved. It looks complicated.
Starting point is 00:34:33 They start off quite simple and then they... I've got a tip for you. If you were... Normally, riding motorcycles is a great way to pick up girls. If you're riding a Pokemon motorcycle, it is not. It's the opposite of that. So if you want to stay away from women and you're a young fella looking to pick up babes, don't get it. If you want to stay away, this is the honey repellent. This is like putting bleach
Starting point is 00:34:57 on honey. The bees won't touch it. Just a tip, just a little pro tip there. Maybe some Pokemon obsessed women would be interested. Actually, there might be a whole market there. Yeah. I take it back. I forgot. Different generation. If you want to pick up a woman over 40, this is not the way. No.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Yeah. If you want to pick up somebody under 40, this is probably the way. Absolutely the way. This could be an in, big time. You're right. I changed my tune. Congratulations. Congratulations on all of the bitches you're about to pick up with your new purchase.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Well done. Dr. Phil's riding one of those. Look, I got the motorcycle and everything! Come on, hop on the back, Dr. Phil's motorcycle! Yeah, so, yeah, I don't really know. Let's move on. The next thing is, Andrew Tate has been re-arrested, right? Cobra Tate nicked again for being another cunt.
Starting point is 00:35:52 One of his friends, another streamer on Kik, which is obviously a big problem, Kik. I don't know if you know much about that. Yeah, yeah. This guy accidentally blabbed or deliberately blabbed that Andrew Tate had this escape plan to get out of Romania, or get out of the UK, or whatever. Anyway, he got re-arrested.
Starting point is 00:36:12 And off the back of this stream. Yeah, off the back of another streamer's... I guess they're all just awful, aren't they? But in a sense, being awful to your friends, I guess that just goes to show, aren't they? But in a sense, like, being awful to your friends. I guess that just goes to show, doesn't it? It's like the traitors. When the traitors throw each other under the bus, I guess this is what happens. That is it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:34 This one's weird. Apparently, you know, have you seen Madame Web? I've not seen it, but I've heard of it. It looks dreadful. What is it? It's the new Morbius. It's the new Marvel superhero flick with the late- I'm so out of the loop with all that.
Starting point is 00:36:50 The plot, it sounds like it's written by an AI. It's just awful. Every line reading feels like it's on a zoom delay. It's just such a badly edited, just shit movie. And the lady who's the main character has basically disowned it, right? Yes. Well, Sidney Sweeney is the main character.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Yeah. I think it was her, or maybe someone else was like, yeah, it's shit. Something like that. I'm paraphrasing again. I like to do that. Anyway, she... That's all right.
Starting point is 00:37:22 According to a new report, loads of people are trying to find images of Sidney Sweeney's bare breasts on ex-formerly Twitter. Okay. Who's Sidney Sweeney? The star of Madame Web. Sidney Sweeney, an American actress, she's 26 years old, she was born in 1997. She had a supporting role. She wasn't- she's not actually the star, sorry. Supporting role. Anyway, apparently, like, trolls and hackers and nefarious people are taking advantage
Starting point is 00:37:55 of the horny search, and using it to fill Twitter with malware. Really? So, if you're googling, Googling Sydney Sweeney leak, there isn't actually a leak, but malware people are trying to trap you into it. I think generally... So if you're clicking on pictures
Starting point is 00:38:12 of what you think is Sydney Sweeney's bare breasts, you could be getting malware. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't need to see her bare breasts. She's flipping gorgeous. I don't need to... You know, that's enough for me.
Starting point is 00:38:25 All of the public... The shots that she's just posted where she's just like on a carpet or something looking gorgeous. She's fine as fuck. I feel like this is the old Taylor's oldest time. People have always... Yeah, but what do her cheeks look like?
Starting point is 00:38:36 We've got to have a good look at her. Exactly. Man sees woman. Man Googles that woman to see if she has naked pics and then you know the the i guess if the search term starts trending you know sydney sweeney leak everyone thinks it's real all of a sudden because that's all it takes for people to think it's news and then it becomes this viral search that people are using to trap idiots into downloading malware. I mean, that goes back to LimeWire, that when there would be like a movie, it would be like,
Starting point is 00:39:10 download movie now, and it would have it on pretty much every torrent site. And it's actually just malware or some really shit troll vid. There's certain things that people will click on that trap them. that trap them and i think one of them is leak or like um like um you know like to try and get stuff that you don't want to pay for right like yeah watch online like watching movies online or download online like just to try and get around having to actually pay for something a lot of those links are exactly how they they're the perfect traps right yeah um she's got she's got um in some of these pictures she's gone gone for the Billie Eilish look. She doesn't look like Billie Eilish, but the look is, you look super bored.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Like you half close your eyes and just like, ugh, whatever. That's the Billie Eilish look. I feel like I represent that look pretty good myself. Throughout the day. Yeah, mostly. Look kind of bored and sleepy. That's the Eilish look, I'd say. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Okay, Google have written its own Greek tragedy. They've written a Greek tragedy? Is it the Greek economy? By designing and building a hyper-advanced building with green tech galore to try and get employees back into the office, only to find out that the Wi-Fi is terrible. Oh no. So, it's apparently due to like, the huge swooped fancy roof tiles, the building
Starting point is 00:40:33 looks like some sort of futuristic nonsense. I'll put a link in there, but if you can see it, it looks like kind of a weird cat or something. It looks like a pastry. It looks like a strudel or something. It's strudel or something. Strudel? It looks like it's got like a nice sweet apple filling, you know? Or like with some custard. Yeah, it does.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Custard and apple in there. Well, they're meant to collect rainwater, and are filled with special solar panels to power the building, but... Will the water be tainted? Will it need to be processed? Always. I don't... How will they process it? We've got questions! How will they process it, Lewis? These are the questions. Will the water be tainted? Will it need to be processed? Always. I don't-
Starting point is 00:41:05 How will they process it? We've got questions! How will they process it, Lewis? These are the questions. You can't bring this up without knowing all the details, it's ridiculous. Okay, so- Move on! You've embarrassed yourself.
Starting point is 00:41:15 So, if that's the example of how architecture can fuck your wifi, you know, don't- just live in a normal house, you dummy. They're gonna say, fuck my wife? Architecture can fuck my wife? The architect fucked my wife? That explains a lot. I get it. Drowning in recovered water and solar panels.
Starting point is 00:41:29 All of a sudden, it's all clear. It makes so much sense. That's why my kids keep drawing pictures of houses. Fuck. Next! Next! Uh, celebrity psychic Deborah Davis- Who?
Starting point is 00:41:44 Has- has- I'm looking at celebrity celebrity psychic deborah davis deborah davis a inverted commas creepy doll no from an edinburgh charity show sorry hang on there's a deb there's a british screenwriter called deborah davis there's an author called deborah davis is this she on real housewives li Lulu? Deborah Davis, star of Unexplained, colon, Caught on Camera. Not Unexplained, colon. Deborah Davis, Caught on Camera. TV series. Oh, it's Deborah Davies.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Unexplained, colon, Caught on Camera. Has added inverted commas Annabelle. Is she a psychic medium? She collects haunted dolls. No, she looks like a psychic large in these pictures, mate. Wow. She is. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Hey, she's on channel 103 two days ago. There you go. We can't find that page. Weird. So she's got 60 haunted dolls. She loves buying creepy haunted dolls. And she obviously is a medium and knows if they're good or bad, and so she's protecting us from- Deborah Davies, psychic medium, when
Starting point is 00:42:50 you look her up, there is a map pin at the airport parking just outside of Manchester, on Moss Lane. Get her! What the fuck? Like, what- That's so weird! Why is this happening? She's working out of her car, it's top time!
Starting point is 00:43:05 She's some sort of... I don't know. What else you got, Lulu? Vinyl records have been included in British inflation calculations, due to how popular it is. Oh yeah, they're quite popular again, vinyl records. So every year, the British government has to reflect current shopping trends, and vinyl has returned to the inflationary. Listen to this, in 2021, for the first time in the last 30 years, vinyl record sales
Starting point is 00:43:35 exceeded CD sales. One of every three albums sold in the US was a vinyl LP. I mean, I can believe that simply because, first of all, people don't really buy CDs much anymore. Yeah, and apparently Taylor Swift vinyl is very popular. 2.6% of total sales. Yeah. Taylor Swift 1989 Taylor's version is the number one selling vinyl for 2023. And the official compact disc artist albums chart, what do you think is number one? Take that. Oh, baby. chart what do you think is number one take that oh number one said it all there's nothing to say
Starting point is 00:44:07 at all what the official cassette artist albums chart people are still buying on cassette yeah hey lewis sent me wu-tang forever on cassette with a usb cassette player for christmas oh hell yeah yeah i mean the double cassette there's no love for cassettes they sucked they always suck oh like the worst was when your battery started to run out and it ate your tape yeah awful just having to rewind it to save battery by putting a pencil in and spinning around really fast dreadful thing is i put i thought i thought i'd buy you like because i remember you talked about having all of your cassettes in your car. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:48 So I bought you that. And then I thought, maybe he doesn't have any cassettes anymore and he's chucked them out. No, I still have Nirvana in utero on cassette. And I have Ramones Rocket to Russia on cassette as well. Because my old car had a cassette player. The format was dreadful. Like, it sounded fucking awful. The hiss, the more you listen to it, the worse it got.
Starting point is 00:45:10 The whole rewinding thing, it was awful. It's not a format that anyone should be pining for a return of. Vinyl, though, genuinely does sound amazing. A record on vinyl just sounds so much better. Because it's like an actual sound wave, there's no digital element to it. It's incredible. Like the Fallout music, by the Ink Spots.
Starting point is 00:45:30 You listen to that on vinyl and you get all the crackling and stuff, and it teleports you to... Transported back to the apocalypse. Transported to Fallout. Yeah, the apocalypse. Nuclear apocalypse, 200 years later. What else you got? What is that music?
Starting point is 00:45:50 It's from... Blue Moon? No, no, it's... Please release me, let me go... Oh, no, no, that's not it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a different one. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:45:58 What genre is it? That's what I don't really understand. I don't know! Bluegrass, I guess. I thought bluegrass is faster than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. it? That's what I don't really understand. I don't know!
Starting point is 00:46:06 Like, bluegrass, I guess. I thought bluegrass is faster than that. I don't know. That's weird, isn't it? It's just old, traditional country songs. It's just old country music, I guess. Old, old country music. Because I was thinking about this, because we've been looking for music to put
Starting point is 00:46:19 in our Fallout videos lately, and it's like, I don't know what to search for. If you are on Epidemic Sound, can't know what to search for if you are on epidemic sound uh can i suggest that you search for a category of music called schlager that might fit well with the fallout schlager schlager schlager schlager yes grab a beer and come with me and listen to the schlager and we will rock to our side like this and we will sing and raise our glasses above our head ja ja the schlager da
Starting point is 00:46:50 oh boy I think that's bringing back Oktoberfest memories for six they love it well that's all I got in my notes from Sam Morris thank you Sam thank you so much Sam that's all I got in my notes from Sam Morris. Thank you, Sam.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Good blessing, Sam. Thank you so much, Sam. Thank you for sending us. That's fun. I love to hear crazy news. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy news!
Starting point is 00:47:14 Before we go, quickly, what games have you guys been playing, if any? Bellatro. Bellatro, nice, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I played a bit of a few other games. I finished off Pacific Drive, which I really like. Oh, I need to get around to play that. I thought it was really fun.
Starting point is 00:47:29 I've got it, I just haven't played it yet. It started a little bit slow, and it's got a few problems, but I did enjoy driving around in the car. Right. You've got this 1980s station wagon you kind of fix up and fall in love with. Nice, like a Griswold sort of mobile. Like a Griswold family of mobile like a Griswold family car
Starting point is 00:47:47 station exactly that's exactly what it is and it's great I played that a bit I played a bit of the new
Starting point is 00:47:53 Civ Millennia game which I quite like actually wait wait wait the Paradox one yeah you've got it yeah I've been playing it
Starting point is 00:48:00 for weeks wow what's it like it's really good oh I can't believe I really fucking want a key for that. You lucky bastard. Well, I'll get you one. I'll send you one.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Please. I've got the contacts. All right, I'll get it to you today. Yeah, yeah, I want to play that immediately. All right. Okay, cool. I'll hook you up. Please.
Starting point is 00:48:16 All right. It's out. It's probably out by the time this podcast goes out. Oh, yeah. Yes. Get me that key, Lulu. He wants it. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Thanks, everyone. We'll see you all next time peace bye goodbye

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