Triforce! - Triforce! #289: Tennis, Fallout, Jiggle, Kebab

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Triforce! Episode 289! Flax wants to understand Tennis Rage, Sips has been modding Fallout 4 into a completely different game and we're talking jiggle physics and kebabs! Go to http://auraframes.com/triforce to get up to $30 off Aura’s best-selling frames. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. That's right. Oh my god, we're back. We're still doing this. Still going, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. It's sunny outside.

It sure is. Thank god. I even brought with me sun cream and sunglasses today, as I'm going outside later, to film a thing, and I thought I might have to watch out for my poor albino pale nerd skin. Nice. Yes, you have to, you must protect your poor albino pale nerd skin. Yes. Yes. My skin would be very prized by those guys to make books and stuff out of it, you know?

Yeah, you're like that Milky Boy from Mad Max. Immortal Joe or whatever. You could be like him. Immortan Joe, you could be one of his blood boys. Yeah, you can be one of those Witness ones. Exactly. With the paint. Grass-fed, proper healthy.

But he just shouts... No tattoos. Loads of nuts. Shouts, witness me! and then makes a cup of coffee with the machine. Everyone's like, witness! Do you want to have your skin used to make a book? No. No.

Did I talk about tennis players, and how much I hate them? On a previous episode. ALICE No, I don't feel... I feel like I haven't, uh, this doesn't ring any bells. ALICE How much you hate them. RILEY Yeah. I wanna get into this. I'm fascinated to hear what you guys have to say, and what our many listeners from around

the world have to say about this. Um, so there's a channel called Tennis Advocate on YouTube, and I watched one of their videos, which is a compilation of players losing their minds at the umpiring officials in tennis. The reference umpires, whatever. It's a very frustrating game, though, I mean. Well, I don't know. Here's the thing. I've come to think that most tennis players are insufferable spoiled babies, okay?

They lose their mind about things in such a way that you can't honestly relate to them at all. ALICE They're kind of like the bubble boys of the sports world though. It is not a team game, right? They're isolated, they have their training regime. I think there's a lot of room for things to get really eccentric there, you know? Like, I have to eat 5.4 bananas per day and stuff, and they can get really into their own headspace.

But that's a lot of athletes. That's all professional athletes have to live some kind of monastic life in some ways. If they're gonna succeed, they've gotta look after their bodies, they've gotta spend most of their time training, they're very focused on one skill. I don't think we should isolate tennis players as just being... Well, I just think they're a bit... They're weirder because they don't have teammates. So it's just them and their coach and that weird wonderful world.

Golfers, snooker players, F1 drivers, you know, all of these guys. You could say the same thing, but all I'm saying is... All these guys when they practice though, they probably practice with other people, whereas tennis players just practice against a machine. ZACH Yeah, maybe? Maybe? I guess there's some coaching and teamwork? ALICE Yeah, is it the nature of it that makes it...

ZACH No. ALICE It's a very... okay, it's a very fixed sport. ZACH It's them. ALICE Are they poshies to start with, as well? ZACH Yes. Most of them. I don't know if... Consider this, consider this.

Yes, there are tennis courts all over the place, and yes, there are absolutely tennis players who did not come from wealthy backgrounds. But you need to have a certain set of skills and a set up to become a professional tennis player. First of all you need to have parents who can fund you go into all these tennis academies and all that shit. They don't just do it for free, because you're not doing it as part of a team. So it's not like, man, you are going to say, we'll handle the training because there's money for it in it. You have to become a tennis

player. And I'm sure that some academies, there's some kind of sponsorship. I'm sure there's some. Yeah. It's like, I think a lot of it works like on a scholarship kind of thing, right? Once the talent is headhunted and they're brought in, then I think they... it's an investment that they... ALICE Does the Academy recoup it, though, off the players? From their winnings? WILL Possibly some kind of percentage or something who knows. ALICE I think so, yeah.

Because I think the Academy basically manages them, and then when they go pro and they start winning grand slams and stuff. Yeah, I think there's some money... It sounds like an absolute drama bomb, isn't it? Yeah. Well, either way... It's a very dramatic industry, the tennis industry. Your parents then have to basically ferry you to all these practices and tournaments. It's a full-time job for the parents, I'm sure.

As well as it is for the young person who's becoming a tennis player. All this spare time spent playing tennis. So does it make them into a brat, is that what you're saying? I think there's a bit of brat-iness. I think they probably, in a lot of cases, certainly from what I've seen, and I've looked up a lot of these tennis players' histories, a lot of them seem to come from nice families, well-to-do families, and they're probably taught how special they are, and also a lot of pushy parenting making them into arseholes.

Nick Kirgios is a prime example of the absolute country that you see in professional tennis players. I'm sorry to Australians or tennis fans out there who's like, are we so entertaining? I want you to watch a compilation of Nick Kirgios' meltdowns. They are so entitled, it's unbearable. Let's say a ball is really close to being in or out, right? It's right on the line. Bear in mind these balls are traveling over 100 miles an hour and you have one shot to decide whether that's in or out and you're watching the line. It's possible human beings make mistakes, not in the minds of these tennis players. How can you miss that? No, no, no, no, no. How can

you miss that? That's clearly out. That's out. How can you miss that? And I'm not kidding. Ten minutes of ranting. The decision can't be reversed. There's nothing that can be done about it. Human error is a factor in all things. Not good enough. Not good enough. How dare you? Get the supervisor. Get the supervisor. So they go get the supervisor, who's like the head of the umpires.

They come in. They've showered the supervisor. The supervisor says nothing we could do. It was just one of those things. I'm sorry. But he said it was out, it was probably out, no, it was in, how dare you. Ten minute rant. And the other guy's just waiting. Just waiting. And then, it's things like someone moved behind them.

So they're about to serve, someone moves in the crowd. Sorry, can we get this guy, he moved. This is ridiculous. He's moving. Someone moving in a fucking crowd of people. A lot of that stuff though, it's the same with football. Some of the stuff they do in football is to just delay things or to psychologically fuck with the other team and stuff. If somebody's down and they're not super injured, but they kind of milk it out for as long as they can

and they lay there and then, you know, it ruins like momentum and stuff. Everybody hates that. But tennis players seem to get a free pass. This is not spoken about. They don't though. It's the same thing. It's just in a different guise. You know, it's like, it's the exact same thing.

They're looking for every little possible, because the thing is, all these people are like machines. They train the same. They have, you know, they get They train the same, they have, they get up to the same kind of standard or whatever. So, all that's left is these little psychological mind fucks. And so they're constantly looking for them. Little ways to delay the game, or put a, you know, get somebody- Like icing your opponent and stuff like that. That kind of stuff. Out of their momentum and stuff like that. So question for you then, Sips.

Question. If that's the case, why do so many of these clips involve the game is over and they're still berating the line judge and the umpire for the next 10 minutes? Well, because it's frustrating. It sucks to lose. And you know, again, you're going to, you're hyper focused on winning a match, you know, you've trained really hard for it and stuff and then you lose. So you are just going to be looking for any excuse.

So you think it's fair enough? I don't think it's fair enough. Obviously nobody wants to see that or whatever, but I think it's partly human nature. Especially in a highly competitive environment, you are going to get people throwing tantrums from time to time, right? Some people just cope better with it than others. I want you to watch some of these videos and come back to me and tell me what you think. Because they are insufferable.

It's the same attitude. Neil, Nikki, it's okay, don't worry, we'll let you win. It's the same attitude as people at a fancy restaurant who are upset. The bad man's gone away, you can win now. It's your turn to win. We're very inclusive around here, everybody gets a win. What are they thinking is gonna happen? Is this just a symptom of, like, Sips is saying, like, it's basically denial and bargaining

and whatever, do you know what I mean? Or is this a situation where he's just a spoiled child who's always got his way? I'm just saying, if you guys have opinions about it, go ahead and watch these vids. Watch the vids of them melting down, and tell me if you think, oh yeah, I can understand that. It's unbelievable. Like, really berating people in a horrible way. Honestly, though, when you're describing it, I can apply that basically to every sport,

though. It happens in every single one. I don't know if you can. I'll be honest with you, they want, dare I say it, the moon on a stick, these lads. They want the moon on a stick! I think some, you do see this sometimes, people get very, very disassociated with the world around them when they're in their zone, in their game. It doesn't become real anymore. People take things so seriously.

ALICE This happens in football all the time, that stupid fucking insufferable pleading face that the players do, right? Where it's like, yeah, okay, yeah, the wind does blow sometimes, and it just so happens to knock you down onto your ass for like five minutes, and then they get up and they've got that pleading face, like, oh, oh, there's no way! This is such an injustice! Oh, oh, oh my god! Somebody walk near me! Yep, 100% agree. I think all of this stuff though, is a little bit like, does it actually subconsciously evoke sympathy for them in the referee, or the opponent?

No, no, it's a game. To make them go their way in the future? It's part of the game. Or maybe they think it does, though. Maybe, like, in the past they've won when they were angry, and they associate being angry with winning, or they associate pleading with winning, do you know what I mean? It's almost like, I felt good after doing that, and so it positively reinforces their behaviour. I love the flabbergasted face, too. you know, when the ref actually says something and then

they're like, what?! Like, they can't believe it. It's like, yeah, funnily enough you actually injured somebody, you twat. Like what do you expect here? Like what's gonna happen? It's just gonna get brushed under the carpet? Sorry, but it happens in every sport. And it is equally insufferable across all sports, I would say.

So, alright, so, speaking about those two, and this is another thing I wanna talk about, okay. This is another reason I hate tennis players. These guys, alright, you gotta serve, right, you gotta serve. There's a bunch of people there watching. A pin has to be heard to drop. You cannot make a sound. Oh my god.

God forbid someone coughs, they'll stop, they'll look at him like, oh, how am I meant to concentrate with the sound of coughing? Just fucking serve! Just fucking hit the ball, you're better than... I've got it engulfed too though, hasn't it? You've done this a million times. Hit the fucking ball! I'm taking a penalty in front of the cop end, right, I'm playing for Everton, I'm about

to potentially score a penalty against Liverpool that's gonna deny them the title, do you think the crowd's gonna be quiet? They're gonna be giving me all this shit in the world. You wanna talk about pressure? Oh, it's much more pressure serving than a test match, fuck off! 95th minute penalty to decide the title, and I've gotta do it in front of ten thousand Bay-Bud- It's the audience, though. The Wimbledon tickets are priced out of anyone who's not a posh show going there, they get their strawberries, they sit in the crowd, and if you do be noisy

you get kicked out, there's no tolerance, right? It's almost in the crowd, and if you do be noisy you get kicked out. There's no tolerance, right? It's almost like the whole, if a room is tidy it's easier to keep it tidy. They're completely different audiences in completely different environments. You couldn't possibly police a football match and you wouldn't even try. Whereas in Wimbledon you have to be, you know, you can't breathe when they're doing a serve. Or you get kicked out.

Have some fucking self-awareness then, and realise that your sport is super fucking sanitised. You're treated like a giant baby, you're given everything you could possibly want, you don't even have to pick the fucking ballips. They have little children hanging around, oh, give me the ball, oh you need a towel master. They surround you by fucking servants. The umpire, they go and shower the umpire, they hit the umpire's chair with their racket and shout to them they call them fucking idiots are you stupid how could you be so stupid how could you how could you be so stupid

10 minutes of that is un-fucking-sarable At least in tennis they they use children and it's endearing in football you have the same thing but it's old bald men No the ball boys and ball girls They're like fucking giving them a rub down and spraying water on them and stuff They're children These are fucking grown men, babying other grown men. They're children! The bald boys are children! The bald boys are children.

No, yeah. The bald men are children, you're right. Those fucking old bald men. You're wrong, brother. All those footballers are idiotic man children. They really are. But then why are we picking them? Why are we saying footballers are the same as the other world?

We're not the tennis players! It's point-counterpoint. Why are we picking them? Why are we saying footballers are the same as the other world? We're not the tennis players! It's point-counterpoint! You gotta pick apart something that you like if you're picking apart something that other people like. But I like tennis! I used to fucking love tennis. I loved it.

And the more I've watched behind the scenes of the scene with the players alike, the less respect I have for them. It's awful. No, I know what you're saying, Flax, but I honestly, I maintain, I think you can, if you wanted to, you could apply it to pretty much all sports. Basketball is bad for it too, when I used to watch basketball. Oh my God, the amount of like, you know, every little thing. But they, you know, if you watch like any documentaries or whatever, there is some of them, it is part of the strategy is to delay

things and gum things up with drama and stuff, you know? It is a psychological thing and I think in tennis it's the same. It's not a team game, so there's not like an enforcer or whatever, it's the one actor who's responsible for everything, but they're always looking out. Name another solo sport where that happened. one actor who's responsible for everything, but they're always looking out... NAME ANOTHER SOLO SPORT WHERE THAT HAPPENED. Competitive gymnastics. And they're crying all the damn time, gymnastics. That's cause they're actually 15 years old.

I'm just saying, I think tennis players are bellends. There's a handful that are not, but having watched these compilations, from top to bottom of the professional game it seems to be a bunch of insufferable spoiled babies. It's really terrible. And I hate the way they talk to their staff. I hate it. ALICE Who knew that rich sportsmen... Rich multi-millionaire sportsmen would be...

ALICE Ultimate Tarquin sport, isn't it? That's, like, weird. Yeah. I think that is unfair. Honestly, there's this idea, ah, they're all cunts. It's too easy. I think, sport by sport, we could actually break it down. I think tennis players are up there with their very worst.

I'm sure there's some lovely folks. I'm sure there's some lovely folks. You know, it's probably just, maybe he's trying to cultivate like a John McEnroe bad boy image, you know? Yeah. Some are worse than others, too, right? See, that did great for him. It always works. Everyone loves the villain.

Everyone says, oh, it's great to watch because of his... No! I hate the villain! I wanna see the villain fail! I wanna see the villain fail! I don't remember Tim Henman ever going off on one, but I think, to be fair, I think Tim Henman just assumed he was gonna lose every match anyway. Yeah, he wasn't very good, was he, good ol' Tim?

God bless ya. I think people are very fickle about whether they see someone as entertaining or a villain, right? Because, like, if it was in a movie and someone kicks a dog and insults someone who's bringing them food, you know, you think, oh, that guy's real bad. But if you see it happen in front of you, you're like, oh, this is entertaining, you know. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? That's the biggest load of off the top of your head bollocks I think you've ever said. And that's a fucking stretch. Someone kicks a dog in front of you, you think, well that's entertaining. What are you talking about?!

I'm not saying anything. Okay. Ah, fuck it all. Oh shit. That's me! I think it's because, you know what, I think it's because we've, for a long time, seen the referee, or the umpire, it's the villain, though, right? It's always... it's certainly in football matches, you know, no one's ever on the ref's side, no one's saying, oh thanks to the ref! The no one's saying, oh thanks to the ref, the referees, it's good lad. ALICE There's always a conspiracy around refs as well.

JUSTIN Well, VAR is a fucking shambles, mate, I don't want to even get into that. Absolutely appalling. ALICE They still get it wrong, even though they've got the perfect evidence right in front of them. JUSTIN It's incredible. It's awful. It's like if Colombo was the worst detective ever, that's VAR.

Where at the end of every episode of Colombo he's like if Columbo was the worst detective ever. That's VAR. Where at the end of every episode of Columbo, he's like, one more thing, sir, I got no idea who did it, and uh, yep, you're free to go, sir. You're free to go. Ah, shit, not again, chief, they got away again. Oh, they got away, chief. But Columbo, all that evidence, now, I looked at it, it's nothing. Couldn't find nothing in there.

Oh, one more thing, chief, I quit. I quit, chief. Oh, fuck. It's the same dilemma every year. What do you get the man who already has everything? Or says he doesn't need or want anything? I can relate to that. Put down the slippers and step away from the ties and get your dad something unexpected.

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your dad or your grandpa or whatever, you're much more likely to be into it as an adult, right? I feel like it's hard to get into and to commit to as well. There's lots of like, you know, even like the Premier League, sorry I'm talking about football again, but the Premier League, the matches are always like on the weekend. Like, I don't know when the hell I would watch them, you know? Well, at the weekend, that's the point. I know, but there's so many of them too. Like, every team plays their games on the weekend. So like, it's just fucking impossible.

Well, you do have midweek games, so, I mean, there were games last night. So here is the problem, I think, with the commitment, as you put it, to watching football. First of all, I mean, you can always watch highlights, I tend to do that. Like match of the day and stuff? Well, I watch them on YouTube, because I don't want to listen to the pundits they have on these shows. Having worked in e-sports and stuff, you see the analysis, the pre and the post-match stuff, and all that kind of stuff. Watching Match of the Day, it is the driest, most boring shit,

and the jokes that they have, where they all sort of go, and chuckle, are so fucking awful. This is the least funny, least interesting, no controversy, all absolutely by the book, super bland analysis. And it's a very popular show. People apparently don't want someone who actually has a decent opinion to come in and talk. Footballers who were playing 20 or 30 years ago giving opinions about the game now as if it hasn't changed. And it's baffling. There are a couple of good ones, but a lot of the punnets are just literally, what are you doing there? You can barely string two words together and here you are, and analysing very high level technical football and apparently you've got something to say about it. And they were just

like, oh, it's just about hard work at the end of the day, you know, tracking back, following your man, passing move. It's like, yeah, I could have fucking done that. What are you doing? You're not even attempting to explain. It's just reading off a load of buzzwords. It's just awful. It's so boring. And their little matey humour is the most dull shit. Like, if you were sat at a table across from these people in a restaurant, and you heard them laughing at the jokes they were making, you could think, are these guys on fucking crack or something? Why are they all laughing at that Joe that wasn't funny that wasn't even approaching funny

That wasn't even on the doorstep of funny and they're like Good one. Hey, they can't actually make a joke No, then the producers like can we tone it down lads, please bring it back. Nice and serious, please No more jokes like I'm not saying tell a knock-knock joke. I'm just saying at least they're never funny I'm sure these guys are funny behind the scenes, but they're not allowed to be themselves at all. They just have to be this dry, stiff, suit-wearing pricks. It's so boring.

So fucking boring. So yeah, I don't watch it anymore. I think they're frightened into mundanity by the... like, just the nature of the whole thing. It's not like that in other countries. In other countries, the pundits and all that have a lot more of a laugh. The UK is just so fucking boring. It's not like that in other countries. In other countries, the pundits and all that have a lot more of a laugh. The UK is just so fucking boring. It's insufferable. We don't have it. There's a show called, I think it's Inside the NBA, with Charles Barkley and Shaq,

and two other lads whose names escape me, sorry. Really, really very funny show. We don't have anything like that. We've tried to do it, but all it does is go matey, where they're all like, whey, get a beer in my wallet! Like that. And that's like an hour long show. We don't have anything like that. We tried to do it, but all it does is go matey where they're all like, we're gonna be in my wallet. Like that. And that's like an hour long show. No, you can't live like that. Or it's like soccer AM, which is like, I don't know, it feels more like kids Saturday morning TV. It's had some moments and it was okay. But it's like there's no clever people making good analysis and being funny. It's just not a thing that exists in football in this country.

We're just not allowed to do it, apparently. It has to be stiff as fuck. Anyone out there disagree with me, explain to me what you love about Match of the Day. I'd love to know. Because apparently it's a very successful show. Gary Lineker, highest paid person at the BBC, I think. What the fuck? Why is this show so popular?

It's terrible to watch. So I just watched the highlights on YouTube. But yeah, the weekend, you know, the thing is all the games now, Sips, they're all staggered. So you can watch a game at midday, then you could go to watch the live game at three, then come back to the pub and watch another game at five thirty. Like, it's all TV. So the games used to be- Is it on purpose? Yes, it's for tagging. Staggering the times, like.

It's all for TV. That's interesting. So the clubs were like, no, you cannot show live games at three o'clock on a Saturday, because we want people to come into the ground and watch the game. We don't want them going to the pub to watch it. Even though it's a very different experience live, people are definitely going to go and see live sports, even if it's on TV. I mean, as evidenced by the fact that the cost of tickets has gone up, you can barely

get in, even though it's on telly, whatever. So the live experience is very different. You want to be there live. It's much more hype. You watch it on telly and there'll be a game at lunchtime Then you can watch the live game then you can go to the pub watch another one then on Sunday There'll be games then there'll be midweek games and there's the European games of midweek It goes on and on and on and on and on this football like every fucking night of the week

You'd be watching something. So yeah, it's not just at the weekend anymore hasn't been for about 30 years I'd say and it's all Sky Sports. ALICE It's all Sky Sports. RILEY It's just Moolah. But you gotta pay to watch that, and now it's on multiple fucking channels, you gotta pay for them. It's all fucking behind paywalls. Cricket used to be free to watch, you can't watch cricket anymore, you gotta pay.

ALICE Well, F1 was the same, yeah. RILEY F1 locked away, it's all hidden behind money. ALICE It's all hidden away behind the big cheddar cheese. SEAN It's alright, is there anything else you guys want to talk about? Nah, we don't. 25 minutes or so. 25 minutes? New record, yeah.

There's not really much to talk about. I started playing Fallout 4 again, if you want to talk about games, briefly. Until we talk about something else, possibly, I don't know. I mean, if you guys want to talk about games? I've played through Fallout 4 and finished it probably about four or five times and here I am again playing it once again. But this time I'm using some DLCs like factory DLC. Basically playing Satisfactory in Fallout 4, I've created an automated murder factory

where I can spawn raiders into these little cages, and then drop them into a little trench and then mow them down very quickly. And then I've just got a big human meat processing factory, which I can then turn them back into drugs and sell them. So I'm rich. And I have not really been doing any questlines or anything, but I've been working on an unarmed build that uses a power fist, and now I'm able to teleport to bad guys quite far away, punch them in the balls and make their heads fly off.

So I'm having a lot of fun. At this point, what is this game? Yeah, I made my own game, basically. Yeah, sounds like it. I'm playing a Fallout sandbox game where I've made up my own rules and my own economy, and I'm living the best possible life out there in the wasteland. It's so much fun. And I don't know if you guys heard, but Fallout 4 recently had a next-gen update.

A really big patch that has changed a bunch of the core systems and made it compatible with different consoles and whatnot. But in the process it broke a key modding component called the Script Extender, which a lot of mods use and rely on to do stuff. So it's basically broken a good percentage of all the mods, but some of them still work. So the ones I'm using don't use the Script Extender, and I still got about five or six key mods that enable me to really enjoy myself. So it's been fun.

It's been good. It's been nice. ALICE Isn't it amazing that fans do all this? ALICE Yeah. I mean, the game has become, for me, almost infinitely replayable because of fan content. ZACH I'm saying with XCOM, I think. ALICE Yeah, XCOM. And RimWorld, there's lots of really great mods for...

RimWorld on its own, without mods, is very replayable anyway, but... ZACH What I do find interesting about a lot of the mods is, there's a ton of mods that just make the game slightly easier. And I think there's a lot of mods in, especially with RimWorld, because it's so much management. They're like, just little assistants. ALICE Yeah, quality of life things that maybe aren't in the base game. ALICE So, that's reminded me of something. In the 90s, when the internet and computers and stuff

were becoming more powerful and more ubiquitous, there was this big thing they were talking about called agents, where you would have an agent running on your computer that would perform simple tasks for you. And it would be things like, I guess, filtering emails and things like that. But the idea of agents as programs seems to have dropped off, and now they're just like, so many of these things are just standard features. But if you guys know anything about agents as a thing, is that still a thing? What was it in the first place? Cause I remember reading about it and being confused about it, but now I figure it's just

been folded into everything. I gotta look it up. Agents. It was like a little picture of a secret agent, was the thing. Sorry, I just posted a thing in general. What is it? Oh. Hahaha.

Alright, I'll describe this picture. It's the Star Wars Prequels meme, where Anakin says something to Padme. And he says, I'm installing mods! That's the top left panel. The next panel is her saying, to fix the bugs? And she's smiling, and it cuts back to his face deadpan, and she says, to fix the bugs, right? And it's panned out slightly, and she has enormous bosoms.

Because of course, that is what we do. ALICE. Really big boobies. Yeah. That's good. That is good. ALICE. Oh, that's... sorry, I think that, that in a nutshell encompasses modding for these games. But you gotta make

them how you want them to be, y'know? At this point, you're just tailoring your game to what you wanna see. But oh my god, the wading through the modding world is just a complete mess of unpoliced nonsense and silly stuff. And not safe for work content as well. Fallout 4 and Skyrim both have lots of mods that basically just add a ton of big boobies and nudity and stuff and it's wild. One third not safe for work, one third weird shit, and one third actual, basically better DLC than the game released itself, y'know? That's what we're dealing with. Like Fallout London, there's

such hype around that, y'know, it's almost making BBC news. Yeah. Oh yeah, I saw that, yeah. Like the Fallout London Delay, as if it's like an actual game. Y'know, it's just a team of mods doing it, y'know. It's amazing that it's got such huge PR. Are you gonna play it? Are you looking forward to it? Yeah, I probably will, once they've released it. Why not? It's clearly a lot of work. Do you think they'll have the actual... What timeline do you think it'll be set in? Do

you think it'll have the actual Queen Vic from EastEnders, or do you think you'll be able to visit the bombed out and depleted set of EastEnders in London? What reality are we going for here? Do you think? Right, I see. What references have we got here? Because Fallout games always do very heavily lean on the locale, the set. Like Fallout 4's Boston... Do you think you'll find a skeleton sitting on a toilet holding a shotgun where Alfie Moon

blew his head off because he realized that he'd spent so much of his life with Cancellator? Yeah. See, I guess not, though. I guess that's the thing, right? I think a real Fallout game, people would be expecting London landmarks, and all of them, right? Yeah. Whereas I think that this is gonna be, cause it's

a mod, it's gonna be probably pretty shit, but as a result, you can't be angry about that because it's not official. I think it's been hyped way beyond what it should be. But sometimes these Fallout mods where the tale of two wastelands that combines Fallout 3 and New Vegas or whatever, stuff like that, never really lived up to the hype. Even things like Skyrim Online, or whatever, Skyrim Together, you know, that was a big hype thing. It just didn't work very well for a long time, and by the time they'd got it working properly, everyone had forgotten about it.

I think that's the danger of these things, like Fallout London, or just game releases in general, if you accidentally get hype, and your servers can't support it, or there's some issue going on, your game is almost unrecoverable from that negative wave that washes over you. It's so, the internet is so like a big old swarm of ants just devouring stuff and then moving on to the next thing. And there's no chance of you getting a second spike in that popularity, right? So I feel like if Fallout London doesn't, if a few people are like, ah, this doesn't

work or I can't get it working, or they take too long as well to get it out, I think everyone might just have forgotten about it. It might have already had its day, you know, especially with the Fallout TV show and the buzz around the Fallout launch, you know. This was such a big couple of months for Fallout, and we made a Fallout video for games tonight that we were thinking of putting out. Well, ah-dee-dah for you! That's nice. Yeah, we played some of the miniatures game, which I thought was really fun.

Yeah, that sounds like you'd actually get miniatures. And like, I know, but I almost wish we'd put it out sooner, you know, to capitalize on the hype. Yes. But that's just... you can't always be hyped. Can't predict these things. Can't predict... no! They're unpredictable.

Period. What you looking at? I'm just chilling, I'm listening. I don't know anything about Fallout, so I have nothing to say about it. You missed out, man. You're not tempted. Eh, it's okay. So, speaking...

This might get Pflac's interested. There's, I've got a post here. On April 29th, an in-development farm sim from Crytivo, right, which is... they've made a few games that I've heard of before, called Farm Folks, right? Shared a now deleted post about how breast jiggle physics... Oh. And, basically... That's a funny sentence. Yeah. It caused, like, quite a lot of drama. So, they made a post where they were like... Do you have the post?

Yeah, I have the post here. Let me share it in the chat. So this is the post, I'm posting it. Do you wanna read it out? Alright folks, it's time for some serious game development talk. We're tinkering with character physics in Farmfolks, but in question, which version has the perfect breast jiggle physics? Okay.

Well, there's a video, and obviously they've got this animated female character, and there's 50%, 90% or 30% jiggle. Now I can, without even having to click on the tweet, I can already imagine the conversation below this. Number one, how dare you boil this character down to her jiggle physics of her breasts, how backwards and sexist and wrong, how dare anyone who wants her jiggle physics of her breasts? How backwards and sexist and wrong? How dare anyone who wants good jiggle physics on their breasts in video games because they're a bunch of perverts and they should get a life and incels incels incels. Followed up with this is why

feminism is wrong and has gone too far and the western world is doomed. It's only a game. Laughing crying face. All of these comments. You already know what it's gonna be. You already know what it's gonna be. This moron at Farmfolks Game has mindlessly posted this without realising that there is no way to post this without it resulting in a complete shitshow. It's impossible. You couldn't do it. What are you thinking? Like, I'm sure this is a thing that are in games. There is no doubt in my mind. You literally have to decide what percentage of jiggle you want on the breast in your characters. And is a decision worth making? Because if it's, if it's not enough, you know, I guess it feels like the characters aren't animated because it is something that

happens without you noticing people with breasts. The breasts do jiggle when they walk along, just like people's heads bob up and down and their legs move in a certain way and their shoulders rotate in a certain way. If you don't animate the jiggles of the bosoms, the animation looks shit. Equally, if you do it too much, it looks like you're just a pervert who wants massive bosoms jiggles all over the place in your video game. So I get it, like I get it from all angles, this is a thing they had to do, and this poor person decided to put it to fucking Twitter.

Shit show ensues. Am I wrong? ALICE Well, you are perci- I think you are 100% correct on all that. SEAN I just want my games to be realistic, and part of that is jiggling boobies, I'm sorry. Okay? You can judge me as much as you want, but when I'm playing a fantasy video game, I need

it to be as realistic as possible. Or else I can't enjoy it. So that's my experience. Well, I mean, what would people rather? That the breasts are locked in place and don't move. Yes. Because then it's like you haven't paid attention to the animation of your female characters. Like, why aren't you animating their breasts? Believe it or not, they do move. That's why

sports bras exist and that's why bras exist and all the rest of it. They never jiggle man boobs, though. It's always women's boobs. I bet they would. If there was a fat character with big man boobs, they'd be jiggling all over the fucking place. Hell yeah. Big dad bod with big jiggly titties.

Yeah. They don't, though. I'm telling you, they don't. Yeah. Give me an example of a fat male character in a game with boobs. I can't, because they all look like Conan the Barbarian. Yeah, I'm sure they do. Pudge has Pudge.

But it's time to do away with these male-of-female sliders anyway, right? You should be able to make your character however you want. Yeah. Well, you can. I want mine to slither around and be like Jabba the Hutt in every game that I play. I just think that that would be great. That's fine. Oh hey, you must be the new Vault Dweller!

He's a be-baz-y-ba-solo! I want to basically reply to everybody in Jabba the Hutt's voice, and I want to be a slithering, slimy Jabba the Hutt going around everywhere. Why can't they just make, y'know? You are exactly right, right? We live in a world where you can't browse Skyrim mods without tons and tons of nudity, right? And also there's super over-sexualisation goofiness in things like Conan Exiles, or Rust, y'know? There's floppy dicks everywhere, in your face, immediately, in those games.

And you can modify those. The games have sliders in to make penises and tits bigger and smaller. It's standard. You got a problem with that? Well, but this kind of little goofy Twitter joke about Jiggle Physics on boobs having this huge outcry, I think it's because the game looks like a friendly farm family game. You know, farm folks. It looks like it's got like a sort of nice little community, and I think that it's very easy for us in the gaming industry to kind of not quite realise that the tongue-in-cheek Twitter post about

jiggle physics would cause this massive global uproar. So what's the uproar? It's like you said, P-Flax, a lot of the people who were complaining about it were unlikely to buy the game in the first place, or were angry on behalf of it, or came in later into the... Of course. The anger was like, later on, right? It's almost like people finding...

It's like the Daily Mail inciting backlash, you know, type thing. No one was bothered until... But the people who were bothered are people who have had no idea about this. They don't understand video games, really. Or anything like that. Right, but I don't think Jiggle Physics is core to video games either. All I'm saying is, this is a question that has been asked by everyone who's animated a character that has breasts in a game.

But, remember we are living in an era where Baldur's Gate 3 is the most successful game ever, and almost a big part of that game was the fucking. Yes, of course! Let's not beat around the bush on that. What if the Baldur's Gate did? It was an incredibly sexually charged game. And they leaned into that so heavily. In all of the marketing, in all of the pushes, in everything. Everyone was like, oh, porn

game? Okay. But I don't have to disguise it, I don't have to have a secondary Steam account? Sign me up. Right. It was huge. So where's the backlash about that? Well, there isn't one. And that's why I'm saying that people doing these types of posts and these kind of like sexual jokes on Twitter, especially this one that doesn't even feel that bad, it's almost like- It's just nothing. It's just a stupid harmless take. It's stupid to put this out there because you know what it's gonna result in, so don't.

But equally, I guarantee you, I guarantee you that if you're animating characters, that is a stupid thing you have to worry about. Just don't put it on the internet. Because nobody's gonna take your point at face value, no one's gonna just have a laugh at it, it's gonna be a big fucking thing. For no reason. But any reasonable person would look at this and say, look, I mean, yeah, I'm sure this is something that you would

have to factor into, like, you don't want it to be comical, but you don't want it to be underdone, otherwise, like I said, it looks like you haven't bothered animating your character, the more natural it can appear, the better. But the fact is, by picking this one aspect and putting it out there, it becomes a thing. And it's just such a non-fucking story, and for it to blow up, that's how fucking bored we all are. We're all so bored! So just for everyone who's worried about it, they've made a post saying, well one of the things he said was, regarding elegant, tasteful breast physics implementation, I still think

that we're going to do it." RILEY This is just nothing. This is nothing! It's just nothing, is it? It's literally just sand through your hands. It's gone in a day, and you're worried about something. This is nothing, people. Can we move on, please? This is nothing. Leave the farm folks game peoples alone. They're harmless. ALICE They just want to have some jiggling boobies in their farm game. JUSTIN So, in pop culture news, a Yakuza member, a real life criminal in Japan... RILEY You don't know if he's a criminal.

He might just be like the accountant, or, you know, cleaner. JUSTIN Sorry, yeah. A real life member of the Yakuza has been arrested after stealing Pokémon cards. Fucker. Okay, well now he's a criminal. I hope he's not listening to this podcast, because now we're grasses. We're grass type Pokémon, yeah, you're right. Crimes involving Pokémon are more common and recurring than one might think.

As a media franchise, Pokémon has expanded beyond games to all sorts of other crap and there's this huge market selling them. And it's so easy to think that... they might not have even known what these things were worth, right? And I think that's... you just throw it on eBay, people will know how much it was worth and that bidding will go out of control. And people might even report it. This happens a lot, right? People will have something stolen. Like it happened to one of my friends recently, there was a generator stolen from their area, and the guy it was stolen from was looking on Facebook Marketplace. It appeared, it was clearly his, he called the police, they arrested

the guy, y'know. This shit happens, right? People are protective of their stuff, and they know their stuff, and they're looking for their stuff. Especially, you know, your Pokemon cards get stolen? Just set up a little eBay search, you know, make a little couple of, you know, keep an eye on, or even post to the forums, and people will, other people on the internet will find it for you, you know, within a day. You know, anyone says anything, like, oh, do you remember a Yoghscast episode where Ben said banana five times, do you know what I mean? Like, some nonsense. People will find that within five minutes, or know it. They'll be like, oh yeah, that's my favourite episode, or I watched that one yesterday. The internet is so powerful for that sort of stuff.

I mean, have you seen the... there's a Triforce podcast subreddit, which I look at, because it's interesting. To see, people will say things like, can anyone remember the episode where they talked about some minor thing? Like, you know, it'll literally be as niche as, you know, they went to McDonald's, can anyone remember what their order was? And someone will be like, it's at this time code in this episode, and this is what they talk about. I don't know how they do it, but they know. They know which episode, they find the time code, and they know everything we've ever fucking said. It is crazy.

And I don't know if there's a search tool of some kind, or if these guys are just encyclopedic in their knowledge of the podcast. And that's just our shitty podcast. Imagine how well some people know some niche fucking details like Pokémon. They know everything about Pokémon. Every single fucking thing there is to know about Pokémon, some person out there knows it all. So, I feel like the internet, we feel like the internet knows all these things, the internet

doesn't know anything. It's people posting this shit, and the internet just knows how to find it. That's it. The internet fucking knows nothing. What's the internet good for? Nothing. It just finds things that people know. That's it. for? Nothing. It just finds things that people know, that's it.

Nothing. Nothing. So, no, this news article, I don't know whether it was done like a targeted crime, but you could imagine people who collect, like, Pokémon card collectors, and certainly, like, I saw this in Magic the Gathering, you know, people would have and carry around with them, even to like a tournament, like a binder with tens of thousands of dollars worth of cards in it, y'know. But cards themselves are expensive.

Or they always have been, I suppose, like new ones. The Pokémon store, apparently, was robbed by a guy who was hired for a part-time job, a dark part-time job, to steal the cards after losing all his money on gambling. And he stole 6,500500 worth of Pokémon cards. Yeah, and say they happened in California. That's rather a misleading stat. That could be... What do you mean?

£6,100 separate one dollar cards. Or one extremely expensive card. Which is it? Yeah, so, six... six thousand five hundred dollars worth of cards, which was one thousand five hundred Pokémon cards. Okay, thank you. So, that's a bit more context. Average value of four dollars.

So that's not very impressive, is it? I'm talking about someone stealing... that's like, stealing a whole bunch of really shit paintings. Instead of just one really valuable painting. This is... I think that's the way to sneak under the radar, though. No, because they caught him, didn't they? Because 6,000... whatever.

That's... how many cards was it? One thousand five hundred cards? One thousand five hundred very upset Pokémon card owners. Instead of just one upset Pokémon card owner, and you could just say, ah, that's an insurance scam, isn't it? But clearly one thousand plus people are not all gonna happen to lose a valuable Pokémon card on the same day. I'm just saying, if you go into an art gallery, you steal one very valuable painting and you

get out. You don't steal all the paintings. There you go, Y art gallery you steal one very valuable painting and you get out. You don't steal all the paintings. There you go, Yakuza. Put that in your handbook. ALICE If you guys, could you ensure your card collection? NICHOLAS 100%, yes. ALICE And you probably should do if you're a collector, right? NICHOLAS Of course, yeah.

It's value. Anything of value you can ensure. ALICE I bet a lot of people don't, though. NICHOLAS Oh, I bet. I bet the real collectors do. For sure. ALICE Yeah. The people that have made it a business, collecting and trading the cards and stuff, will do for

sure, right? It's like, it's an important asset. It's probably like all of their Super Hologram cards are in bank safes and everything. Yeah. I mean, they put them in the protectors and they probably put them in some special fireproof box or whatever. Fireproof, atomic, bombproof box. Yeah. I mean, anything of value, you can assure anything that has value, that you can demonstrate

that it has value, you can assure it, for sure. ALICE Yeah. So, finally, because I've gotta go in a minute... ALICE Alright, mister! ALICE A story article this week. Political party in Germany. ALICE Okay, slow down. ALICE Olaf Scholz's party.

Which I guess is like a pretty serious one. The German left, they want to cap the price of kebabs. Because kebabs are out of control, apparently. They're like ten euros now, and, you know, young people and drinkers, apparently it's a favourite dish. It's like a de facto national dish. Alright, calm down, Olaf. Alright, but that's the same in the UK. You have a few pints, you want a favourite dish. It's like a de facto national dish. All right. Calm down, Olaf. All right. But that's the same in the UK.

You have a few pints. You want a kebab. Whatever Bossman's charges, and that's what you pay in Bossman. If you don't want it, go somewhere else. If you say the value of kebabs universally has gone up, there's a problem with the supply chain for kebab meat and pitas, maybe, and all the other stuff that goes along with it. So costs have gone up. Labour costs have gone up. we know that. You know, what, are we gonna blame the kebab shop owners now? What are they meant to do? We think there's price gouging from

the kebab man? ALICE Well, what they're gonna do is they're gonna subsidise kebabs. They're gonna pay for half of your kebab. JUSTIN No. No. No. ALICE Man, they're gonna have to. Something's gotta give. I mean, I can't afford all these kebabs on top of everything else. This is insane. They are gonna spend... well, there's 1.3 billion kebabs eaten in Germany every year,

so 4 billion euros is gonna be spent on making kebabs more reasonable for people. Okay, quick question. Do you need kebabs? Do you need kebabs? Well apparently, young people do. They bring the price down to only 2 euros 50 for young people to buy a kebab. RILEY This is ridiculous. ALICE Oh my god. RILEY I mean, you've already said they sell over a billion a year, and he's saying this is a problem. Like, if you're selling a billion,

in Germany alone, I'm pretty sure the system is working as intended. Because if you can sell that many, the price can't be that out of control! If you were selling three, you've got a problem! There's no one going to afford to be selling over a billion! Well, you're not wrong, P-Flax, this is clearly some sort of stunt designed to improve his... Yeah! This is some Count Binface level manifesto stuff. Some kind of... exactly. I vote for him in the mayoral elections.

I don't know if everybody saw, but Count Binface, if you're from outside the UK, you don't know who Count Binface is, or if you live in the UK and you live under a rock and you don't know who Count Binface is. He's like a sort of parody political figure who runs on tickets alongside actual political figures. Yes, like the Monster Raving Lunar Party. Just to sort of poke fun, a very tradition, to poke fun at a political establishment, and when they read out the results and everybody's there gathered and they're tolling up the

votes and they read it out and everyone's on stage, there's Count Binface, which is a man dressed in a suit where he has a bin for a face, kinda like Darth Vader, right? That's the image. He's on stage alongside very serious people. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Always gets my vote. His manifesto includes such things as...

I posted it actually in chat, will you. There we go. Croydon's five meter long cycle lane on Selsdon Road to get World Heritage status, an amnesty on Covid fines imposed on Londoners, with all costs to be paid instead by Boris Johnson, London Bridge to be renamed after Phoebe Waller Bridge, the loud snacks to be banned from theatres, all this kind of stuff. So it's all very silly manifesto stuff. And some of it you're like, yeah, that's good. But it's, you know, it's obviously funny. They beat this party called the Britain First party who were running for

mayor of London and Count Binface beat them soundly. And the guy in charge of Britain First stormed off very angrily, the more people had voted for a man with a bin for a face than his lousy party. I don't like... well, then again, he is a peer of the realm, you know. So, you know. Who? Count. He's a Count, right?

Bin face. Alright, sure. Yeah. He's allowed to judge. He probably went to Eton. We shouldn't be voting for fucking Count. We don't need more of these poshos. He probably went to Eaton. We shouldn't be voting for fucking count, we don't need all these poshos. He probably plays tennis.

He's a comedian, Jonathan David Harvey. Uh, is the guy's name. I know. Anyway, that's all we've got time for. Thank you very much. A short one this week. Well thank you very much. Thanks for all of the goofs and the gaffs and the live, laugh and love lifestyle as well. Thank you so much.

I was in a bad mood today, so it was a bit ranty for me, but apologies for that. I'd like to apologize to all the tennis players, aspiring tennis players out there. Nah, fuck em'. Anyone who's thinking of getting into competitive tennis. Yeah, don't. How about this, just don't. Or if you're gonna, be a fucking ambassador of humanity and be a decent person. If you doubt me, go watch Tennis Advocate on YouTube, watch some of the compilations, people, and then come back to me.

Fire at me in the mailbag what you think, having watched. Whether you agree or disagree. Give me some justifications for their behaviours. Male and female tennis players across the board, almost across the board, I'll give you that, almost across the board, insufferable bastards, all of them. Prove me wrong! Prove me wrong! Prove him wrong. Prove him wrong. Please send your emails to period dot flax at gmail dot com. We got a mailbag to do tomorrow, and we got some cracking tunes. Nice! Can't wait.

They've got like 12 mailbag tunes, some of them are... mwah! Can't... can't frickin' wait. Alright. We'll do that. Bye then! Bye!