Triforce! - Triforce! #290: The Yogscast Wrestling Federation

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Triforce! Episode 290! We're going on a tour of great actors from Second City, Flax watches Diggy Diggy Hole porn while Lewis wonders who in the Yogscast he could take in a wrestling match! Support yo...ur favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:03 please go to conneOntario.ca. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Welcome back. The one and only place on the internet where everybody here loves chips no matter what. We'll eat them with anything. You guys have no idea. I've had so many emails saying that I'm right and you guys are insane. Like 90% saying that I'm right. Flax is living in his little echo chamber.
Starting point is 00:01:39 All emails from like his friends and family supporting him. Yeah, certainly none from McCain's, uh, the chip manufacturer. No, no, they're out to get- they got a hit on you. Fuck you, buddy! We gotta take this guy down. The anti-chip agenda. Take the shot. Jesus!
Starting point is 00:01:57 They're gonna shoot potatoes at me. Get the potato gun. It's a spud gun! Get the potato gun ready. Load the spud guns. Let's get the potato launcher floated. Stick him in the exhaust pipe, his car's gonna blow up when he starts it. That's a McCain way. No, it'll be an accident. We should call them. Uh, excuse me, I believe I'm being targeted by assassins and you were employed.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Any... can you answer? No comment. Body found, stinking of chip fat. Mmm. In the gutter. They should be in the gutter. I'm not sure what they're talking about. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:24 I don't know. I don't know. I don stinking of chip fat. Mmm. In the gutter. JUSTIN. They stuffed mashed potato in your mouth as a warning. ALICE. That's some prison shit, isn't it? JUSTIN. Yeah. ALICE. Speaking of... um. Speaking of torture. I, um... I had a terrible hay fever at the weekend. I went for a walk and my eye was like, a little bit itchy, right? And I was like resisting the urge to like, rub it, and then after a while I was like,
Starting point is 00:02:53 ugh, it's like streaming, right? It's like streaming with tears, so I started rubbing it, and of course that just makes it worse, way way worse. And by the end of the walk I was like, just the walk I was like, just in agony, right? Anyway. Woke up the next morning, which was Monday morning, and my eye was like, goop shut, you know, with like that yellow-y eye sleep goo. It was so gross, I looked in the mirror, I was looking at some horrific monster. Did you have trouble opening your eyelids? Like, they were sealed shut?
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah. Oh, I hate that. It was so super gross, man. Yeah. And I think it was just hay fever combined with, like, maybe I got some sun cream in my eye or something, but like, man, it was so bad. I just felt like an absolute grandpa. You know, I went into Richmond at the weekend. This is crazy actually. I have never suffered from hay fever in my life. And I was, we went out, it was a beautiful sunny day.
Starting point is 00:03:50 We went to Richmond green and it was like, obviously all the trees are out and they're doing their thing, there's little flowers everywhere. I was sneezing like crazy. My eyes were itching, I felt like it had something, a little cough in the back of my throat. I thought, oh, don't tell me I'm getting sick again. So I think I'm developing some kind of hay fever. It's something I've never it had something, a little cough in the back of my throat, I thought, oh, don't tell me I'm getting sick again. So I think I'm developing some kind of hay fever. It's something I've never ever had. Is that normal?
Starting point is 00:04:10 I was told it was the opposite. I was told as you get older your immune system gets less angry, right? And a doctor told me this, by the way. So it's not just I didn't read it on Reddit. What doctor was it, Dr. Dre? It was an allergy doctor. I went to an allergy doctor appointment. An actual allergy doctor.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Because I had to get new EpiPens for my nut allergy, right? Right. You're allergic to nothing. And obviously, when I went there, the doctor was like, are you allergic to stuff? I was like, yeah. And he's like, how long has it been since you had any allergy tests? And I was like, well, I had one when I was eight. Right.
Starting point is 00:04:42 And I was in 1991. And he was like, okay, so maybe you should go for an allergy appointment. And I forgot about it, and then nine months later came around and they wanted me to go to the hospital, so I went to the hospital and saw a guy. But he told me that, you know, I'm maybe not as allergic anymore as I was. Because I obviously avoid these things, so I don't actually have, I haven't had like a severe anaphylactic reaction in a long time. And also I think some people just try and get EpiPens to abuse them. I don't know who's like, injecting themselves with an EpiPen for fun.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Or for drugs. You know which one I've noticed recently? I get hay fever from time to time, but I haven't really struggled with it overly. The rest of my family seem to struggle with it a lot more than me. But the one I've noticed recently, which is not something I... Maybe I just never paid attention to it in the past, but I feel like you hear a lot more about people getting sepsis nowadays, for some reason. More so than ever.
Starting point is 00:05:40 I don't ever remember hearing about, overly about people getting it. And like, but all this- So, sex is as in an infection from a wound in your gut that causes like, stuff to look out for? No, no, no. This is, any infection- Sex is like a blood infection. Yeah, it's basically any infection that your body decides to just go ham on, but also starts
Starting point is 00:06:01 eating its own tissue and stuff, it can cause you to have limbs amputated and stuff. All your skin goes black in the affected areas. So it's an infection in your body. Yeah. But your body just doesn't know how to deal with it, and just goes into overdrive and basically tries to kill you in the process of healing yourself. So it's a life-threatening reaction to an infection.
Starting point is 00:06:25 It happens when your immune system overreacts to an infection and starts to damage your body's own tissues and organs. You can't catch sepsis from another person. Do you suppose they've been saying for years, like I'd say as long as I can remember reading about it, that the whole antibiotics thing, we've overused them, because we use them in like... Don't they use them in farming? They put them in cows or something?
Starting point is 00:06:46 Oh, I dunno, but... Or any kind of cold, people would bosh out antibiotics. But there is a hard limit on their effect. I think there is definitely a hesitancy to use antibiotics, and I don't know whether that's causing more sepsis, or whether it's just that thing where, because you've heard of it recently, so you see it everywhere. Yeah, I think there's... like, even more recently there's been tons of extra awareness around it, because I don't know if you guys saw, there's a conservative MP who's just come back to work after getting
Starting point is 00:07:16 sepsis, but he's had both his feet and his hands amputated as a result of having it. Oh my god! Yeah. So he's calling himself the bionic MP now, because he's had all these... How do you vote against that, lad? You know what I mean? But it's crazy, because the way it presented itself was... It's gotta clean up the streets. Live with antibiotics.
Starting point is 00:07:36 He just felt really sick one night. He felt, y'know, he just felt dreadful one night, and said, right, I'm just gonna go to bed, like, yeah, I feel like shit, I'll get one night and said, right, I'm just going to go to bed. Like, yeah, I feel like shit, I'll get some sleep and I'll feel better in the morning. And when he woke up in the morning, he was just like, no better. He was worse. And he was in fucking tons and tons of pain. And he couldn't explain it.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And his wife was said, what the hell? Like you're actually turning blue. Like I've never seen anything like this before. And she thought he was poisoned or something, so she phoned the hospital and they got him in, and they had to put him in an induced coma for sixteen days, and when he woke up, his arms and legs were black, like they just died. And he said it was like, you could knock on them like they were the plastic of a mobile phone or something. He said it was all hollowed out. It was like, you could knock on them like they were the plastic of a mobile phone or something.
Starting point is 00:08:26 He said it was all hollowed out. It was like... This is gruesome. And they had to amputate his arms and his legs. So it would eat a trigger warning. Yeah. But people have gone to hospital and died because of it. Because people, doctors sort of, they'll get you in and they'll say, no, it's this, it's
Starting point is 00:08:44 not that, it's this or whatever, and they'll sort of, they'll get you in and they'll say, no, it's this, it's not that, it's this or whatever. And they'll sort of, they'll take you down a road that, you know, they're familiar with or whatever. But in some cases, they're actually missing signs of sepsis because it is quite hard to detect. And then as a result, people are dying of it. So there's like all this like extra awareness being raised around it and stuff. But I just, it's so weird. It's like, it feels like all of extra awareness being raised around it and stuff, but... it's so
Starting point is 00:09:06 weird, it feels like all of a sudden it's like, wow, god, everybody's getting sepsis, and like, I'm 43 years old, I've never heard of this before until this year. It's absolutely killed people for centuries. Yeah, of course it has, yeah. Every time anyone got an injury... The point is that if you get an injury and it gets infected, that's why you need to get that thing treated, because otherwise it can lead to septicemia, which is the classic... Yeah, that's the classic, you're on your way out.
Starting point is 00:09:34 And that's what killed everyone in the old medieval times. It would always be happening, someone would have a... No, you're thinking of witches! Tiny, tiny squids. A ticket of war. Yeah. A ticket of... Everything. Oh my god. Tiny squids. Diccant of war. Yeah. Diccant of...
Starting point is 00:09:45 Everything. Yeah, oh my god. Everything killed everyone in medieval times. Yeah. It was grim. But, yeah, I wonder if it is on the rise due to a hesitancy to give antibiotics. Well, I know a decent number of medical professionals listen to this podcast. Email in to the mailbag.
Starting point is 00:10:02 I also reckon there's also a lot of people who don't want to take them. Because they're like, oh, god, I don't want to take these antibiotics. ALICE I'm not poisoning my body with antibiotics, I just need crystals and a prayer. ALICE Well, there's another, relating to that, there was a news article about a young child in Ontario who died of measles, which doesn't happen that often nowadays, I don't think, because of immunizations and stuff. Well, I think by nowadays you mean until nowadays. We had a period where people were dying of measles, then we came up with a vaccine for
Starting point is 00:10:38 measles and now we're back on people saying vaccines are evil and they put RNA in your body even though that's in there anyway. ALICE Yeah, so he wasn't immunized against it. And I mean, it's speculation, they're not sure, but people are saying, well, they must have left the country, and it must have been contracted somewhere, because it's probably unlikely that you'll pick it up, y'know. In Ontario, doing day-to- day stuff, but you never know.
Starting point is 00:11:06 ALICE There are people out there not getting... This is a legitimate thing, is that measles is essentially still around, because people are refusing to get vaccinated for it. It's incredible. You may as well say, I don't want to have smoke alarms in my house because they're evil. I mean, it's just like an advance that has definitively saved lives. And they're just like, nah. But the problem is, like a smoke alarm, if you get measles because you're not vaccinated,
Starting point is 00:11:31 you can affect other people. And just like if you don't have any smoke alarms and your house catches fire, maybe mine catches fire because of yours. It's the same deal. You do have some kind of social fucking responsibility. It's literally the same deal. It's like, y'know, your house, you can't have a smoke alarm due to reasons, y'know, and... My reasons.
Starting point is 00:11:49 MY REASONS ARE SACRED! My liberties. Even if they're stupid. There are some people who genuinely can't have vaccinations. Yes, of course! Yeah, yeah, of course there is. And it protects those people. It's mad. I think this is a symptom, though, of people desiring... With Smartwater's pure, crisp taste, there's nothing to overthink.
Starting point is 00:12:09 So while you may be spiralling over double texting your crush, whether your skincare routine is working because you look the same, or is doing nothing because you look the same, and whatever the heck red light therapy is, it's definitely not that. Don't overthink how you hydrate. Life's full of choices. Smart water is a simple one. ALICE Bring to be healthier, right? There is a push to eat healthy and be healthy, and like, I think there's this definite trend
Starting point is 00:12:42 of middle-aged people, you know, trying to look after themselves. I think that's this definite trend of middle-aged people trying to look after themselves. Well, we've never been... I think that's tied in with... We've never wanted to be more healthy, but also type 2 diabetes diagnosis are on the rise 39% up in the past two years for type 2 diabetes, which is not the one that you're born with. That's the one that you give yourself from eating too much ice cream. By being wicked. By being sinful. one that you're born with, that's the one that you give yourself from eating too much ice cream. By being wicked.
Starting point is 00:13:06 By being sinful. Indulgent and sinful. It's a punishment from God. So yeah, okay, I get it. Everybody's health conscious, but at the same time, come on, I mean, you can't... This is the same society that's basically killing itself with sugar, you know. And wanting to be really health know, really health conscious and wearing like fitbits and stuff. Like, there's a joke in there. Well, there's probably a couple of
Starting point is 00:13:32 jokes in there somewhere, it's fucking wild, isn't it? Yeah, that's actually wild. Hey, you know what I saw the other day? I want to ask you guys this. I was talking about this on stream the other night as well. You guys have seen the film The Goonies, right? Yeah, yeah, of course. Long time ago though, man, it's been You guys have seen the film The Goonies, right? ALICE Yeah, yeah, of course. A long time ago though, man, it's been a while since I've seen The Goonies. SEAN It's an old movie, it's like an 80s classic, for anyone that hasn't seen it, it's a movie about some kids called The Goonies, who basically...
Starting point is 00:13:57 The gist of it is that some property developers are gonna sell off their houses and shit, and they need money to stay, and the kids band together, go into a pirate cave, and try and get the doubloons that One-Eyed Pete, or whatever the pirate is called... One-Eyed Willie. One-Eyed Willie. Which is even worse. One-Eyed Pete. One-Eyed Willie.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Get down there, and there's a gang of mobsters or bank robbers or whatever that is also in the area trying to stop him, and they meet a guy down there called Sloth, and Sloth is, I think he was dropped on his head quite a bit as a baby, is the explanation they give for what happened to Sloth, but he's a very deformed fellow. ALICE Is he the, hey you guys, guy? LIAM Hey you guys! That one, with his ears sort of little flat, gently. At the end of the film, if you've forgotten, Chunk, who is the chubby kid who does the
Starting point is 00:14:48 truffle shuffle, Chunk says to Sloth, you're gonna come live with me now, we're gonna take you home with us, you're gonna live with us, because I love you. Now, I don't know if he's discussed this with his parents, but I'm seriously concerned that Chunk's parents are like, what did you say? And suddenly they have a six foot four mutant living with them. What's the crack here? I mean, this guy's got serious PTSD, he was tied to a chair and tormented by his family for years, and now he's just gonna live with a twelve year old boy?
Starting point is 00:15:19 What's happened? There's no fuckin' way I'm letting that happen. No way. I'm seriously questioning it. ALICE Where's the Duny's prequel where we find out how Sloth became to be, you know? JUSTIN He had really bad hay fever, and his eye, like, swelled shut. ALICE Yeah. He developed a slight case of sepsis as well, and... JUSTIN And his parents didn't vaccinate him.
Starting point is 00:15:41 ALICE It was such a weird ending to the film. I don't think you'd get that ending nowadays. Especially in a post-Utri world, I would be very concerned about a grown man living with a young boy. I'm just putting that out there. In the 80s it was no big deal. I would not let this grown man live with my child. No thanks.
Starting point is 00:16:04 No thanks. No thanks. ALICE I don't know, it seemed like to be the done thing in the 80s, to take in waifs and strays though, right? Like, uh- SEAN What, who like? ALICE Well, E.T. for example. SEAN E.T.? You letting him knee you kids?
Starting point is 00:16:15 That's a grown alien. ALICE Yeah. Harry the Sasquatch, the Henderson's took him in. SEAN He's such the zone. Harry the Henderson, yeah. ALICE If you remember, they took him in as well. SEAN A grown Bigfoot. You letting him knee you kids? Time's a change. ALICE The Hendersons took him in as well. WILL Harriet Henderson, yeah. ALICE If you remember, they took him in as well. WILL A grown Bigfoot. You're letting him knee kids?
Starting point is 00:16:26 ALICE Alf? WILL Time's a change. ALICE Alf! ALICE The family that harbored an intergalactic fugitive Alf. WILL And I think Alf drank and smoked and made sexual comments, didn't he? ALICE He sure did. He was a huge...
Starting point is 00:16:40 WILL Oh my god. ALICE He was very problematic. WILL Alf, can you babysit the kids for us? Yeah, sure thing I can. ALICE Yeah, god. WILL I ain't trusting Alf. I ain't trusting any of these guys. ALF, can you babysit the kids for us? Yeah, sure thing I can. Yeah, god. I ain't trusting Alf. I ain't trusting any of these guys. And these shows were made by the people who were in the thick of it back in the 70s and
Starting point is 00:16:51 80s. I'm just saying, folks, open your eyes. Oh my god. Yeah, every time you load up one of these it's like, you know, produced by Harvey Weinstein. Right, exactly! It's like a little job scam. Special advice from Jeffrey Epstein as a executive producer. Technical advisor.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Prince Andrew technical advisor. Executive producer Bill Cosby. Fucking hell. Oh my god. This is our whole team. With special thanks to Jimmy Savile. It's like a whole production. Get on IMDB and look them up.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Oh wow. God, that would be a fucking TV show, that word. to Jimmy Savile! Just like a whole production. Get on IMDB and look him up. God, that would be a fuckin' TV show, that word, if they were all the crew, as like this sort of... rag tag bunch of... I don't think rag tag makes him sound a little charming. A bunch of rugs. Yeah, no. You know how people love these anti-heroes, though? We're not talking about Kelly's heroes here, or like the dudes from the actual, like, the commandos from Predator.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Escape from an actual prison, these commando units. It's ragtag band of ne'er do elves. It's like Suicide Squad, but like... But with nonsense, yeah. Oh man. Oh my goodness. Oh, god. Everyone loves a villain.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Yeah. Oh, man. Oh my goodness. Oh, god. Everyone loves a villain. Oh, god. There's degrees of villainy, though. That's true. There's some villainy that crosses the line, you know? Yeah. That wasn't a pop point for Darth Vader, that he was also a pedo, is it? Oh, god. Just to show he's evil.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I mean, there's limits, isn't there? You're allowed to kick a dog, and, you know, maybe slap a woman. I mean, there's limits, isn't there? You're allowed to kick a dog, and, y'know, maybe slap a woman. RILEY I mean, y'know what, I'm also wondering, Indiana Jones had Short Round following him around in Temple of Doom. Who's this little kid that just lives with Indy? What's up with that? ALICE Are you talking about... okay, you're talking
Starting point is 00:18:39 about K. Pui Kwan, or whatever his name is, the guy who... because he was in The Goonies. RILEY Yeah. ALICE He was in... RILEY Short's... was it Short's thing? ALICE And also... yeah, the guy who... Because he was in The Goonies, he was in... Short... Was it Short Stick? And also, yeah, he... Short Round. Short Round. Well, he did these two movies, right, and then disappeared from the back for twenty
Starting point is 00:18:53 years, and then came back with Everything Everywhere All Once, which was really really good. And he won, like, awards very well. Yeah, well, you know, he's in Goonies, he's in Temple of Doom, and then he goes... That's the way to do it. Oh yeah, he was in all those, wasn't he? Only in the most iconic movies. I think the way to do it is to be in all those iconic movies, and still be making movies.
Starting point is 00:19:14 That's the way to do it. Well, he has done it. I mean, he took a bit of a break, but... A bit of a break? I think it was like a thirty year break, or something. He still came back, though. I think he... wasn't he doing stunt work or something like that? He was a brilliant actor, yeah, yeah, he's a really good actor.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Very very likeable. So he, um, let me have a look. What's he doing? Well, in Indiana Jones. No no no, in everything everywhere. So his career looks like this. He did Indy, he did the Goonies, he was in a film called Breathing Fire, which is a totally forgettable looking action movie. He was in Encino Man. Oh Fire, which is a totally forgettable looking action movie.
Starting point is 00:19:46 He was in Encino Man. Oh, that was a classic. Yeah, Paulie Shaw and Brendan Fraser. Yeah, that's right. I think that's the beginning of the end right there. You're in Encino Man. Then Red Pirate, which doesn't even have a Wikipedia entry. Second time around, which looks like it's a Hong Kong film around involving parallel
Starting point is 00:20:07 universes. Interesting. ALICE Very good. RILEY Interesting, cause that's kinda similar to everything everywhere. Finding Ohana, which is an American Family Adventure film, which I don't remember at all, and then everything everywhere. ALICE I'm still waiting.
Starting point is 00:20:20 I'm still waiting for Rick Moranis to come back. RILEY I don't think he will, by choice. If I remember rightly, he's like, done with it, and he does music and stuff now, isn't that? No, he said he would do a Honey, I Shrunk the Kids sequel. Oh, he needs money then, fair enough. Called Shrunk. No, well, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:36 But, I mean, yeah, he quit the movie industry to raise his family. Yeah. Which I totally respect. Honey, I shrunk my bank account. By not working. For years. Now I need to get back into the game. I totally respect that. Honey, I shrunk my bank account by not working for years. Now I need to get back into the game.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Oh my god, he hasn't made a film for nearly 20 years, and he did, it was direct to video, and it was voice only, called Brother Bear. Fuck. He's good too, I like Rick Moranis. Honey, we shrunk ourselves. In Ghostbusters, he was so good. He is 71 now, actually. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I mean, he was... him and John Candy, I think. Was it John Candy that he was in? Honey, I shrunk my whole body through old age. Honey, I shrunk my penis. I just decided to shrink my penis, honey. Thought it would be funny. John Candy, I mean, he was... he was one of these... They were all second city guys.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Rick Moranis was, Martin Short, Steve Martin, uh, what's that? Second City Television. Eugene Levy, all those guys. John Candy, Rick Moranis, Eugene Levy, uh, Catherine O'Hara, Harold Ramis, Martin Short. Man, she's so good, actually, Catherine. She's a great actress. She is great in, um... She's great. She's amazing.
Starting point is 00:21:48 She's stunning. ALICE Man, she's fucking so good in Home Alone. The parts where she screams Kevin and stuff, like... No, honestly, go back and watch this. She's fucking hilarious, man. She's so good. RILEY She's one of those people who, she was in tons of stuff and you didn't appreciate her until you saw another stuff.
Starting point is 00:22:11 That's not a good movie though, is it? Come on. You're gonna sit here and say to me with a straight face that Coneheads is not a great movie. I am smiling, but come on. It's not a good movie. No, you're right. It's not.
Starting point is 00:22:23 It's pretty bad. But, she was in that. She was in that. Yeah. I'm a big conehead. Was it Third Rock from the Sun? Do you remember that? I think one of the mother in that, wasn't she in Coneheads as well?
Starting point is 00:22:36 I can't remember her name. I can't remember the mother from Third Rock now. I just remember, I only remember John Lithgow and that really odd guy with the darker hair. French Stewart. Yeah. Yeah, he was weird. He had his eyes closed the whole time. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:53 He was funny though, he was funny. He had that kind of like a southern twang of an accent too, didn't he? It was weird, yeah. It was really weird. But I mean, John Lithgow's fantastic. Kristen Johnston was in it, she was really tall. But Jane Curtin is her name. Jane Curtin, if you look up Jane Curtin, she was in so many-
Starting point is 00:23:10 Oh, Jane Curtin's been in something recently, I think. So many things. Yeah, yeah, you see her pop up and stuff. But I think she was in SNL. Oh yeah, she was in so many things. Yeah. So she was in Coneheads. Jane Curtin was in Coneheads.
Starting point is 00:23:23 And, ugh. That was her and Dan Ackwood. She was the mother. Oh, I thought it was... I didn't realize it was her. I thought it was the other one. Sorry, I got it wrong. But I got it wrong. Big time wrong.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Yeah, because she was in SNL. What else was Catherine O'Hara in? She's Canadian as well. Oh, she's in tons of things. Home Alone. Beetlejuice! She's in Beetlejuice. Right, she was the mother in that, she was fantastic.
Starting point is 00:23:48 She was really good in that. They're making a sequel to Beetlejuice! I saw that, yeah, I don't know why they're doing this. Me neither! Like, just stop it. Make something else. Yeah, make something different. Make another thing.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Just do a different thing. I think they just need to latch onto something that has pre-existing... someone's heard of it, you know what I mean? But people are so scared to make stuff that is new and original. Let's be less cynical for a moment, Lulu. Let's just think about this, okay? Imagine if we stopped making Triforce, alright? And twenty years from now we decided to make another Triforce episode as a kind of nostalgia
Starting point is 00:24:21 thing. And we'd be like, we got together and we were like, you know what I miss? I miss doing Triforce episode is a kind of nostalgia thing. And we'd be like, we got together and we were like, you know what I miss? I miss doing Triforce. We should do like a one-off 20 year later special or something like that. People would enjoy that. I'm sure that does enter into, because these guys are all so rich. It's not like they're like, we've gotta make another Beetlejuice. And everyone they meet, every day talks about it. And that's what they're known for. And everyone's like, all the time, their whole family are like what they're known for. And everyone's like...
Starting point is 00:24:45 All the time, the whole family are like, what do you do? And Simon's like, I'm the Diggy Hole man, do you know what I mean? Like, he's never gonna not be the Diggy Hole man. ALICE He's gonna be the Diggy Hole man till the day he dies. JUSTIN Exactly. And so, you can't help but think, oh, what shall we do with the Diggy Hole movie to Diggy Hole 2? Diggy Hole 3? Uh.
Starting point is 00:25:08 DIGGY HOLE THE PREQUEL! THE HOLE HAS NOT EVEN BEEN STARTED YET! DIG MY HOLE THE PORN PARODY! DIG MY HOLE! Oh no! DIG ME OUT! Are you diggin' my hole? How has that not been done?
Starting point is 00:25:21 Well, maybe it has. There's so much out there. It probably has, yeah, there's tons of video game culture porn out there. Diggy diggy hole porn. Save yourself. So tell me about the Beetlejuice, has it got Woss's face in it? It's called Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton is back, and Catherine O'Hara's gonna be in it too, and that's all I know.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Okay. First result, diggy diggy hole sexy dwarfs with big holes! Nice! Oh lord, I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it.
Starting point is 00:25:59 I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening it. I'm opening that's all it is. Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I'm glad you found a fresh new stockpile of anal porn. You can't bring that stuff up and then just not Google it. I mean, come on. True. True. True. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is the new one. Tim Burton.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Oh, Tim Burton. Wow. He was the director of the original. Yeah, he did, yeah. The original was wild. Oh, it's such a good movie. Remember remember loving it when I was a kid though. My favorite part was when they were in the waiting room in Hell and it was like the bureaucracy and the sort of... you saw behind the scenes of what it was like, you know, you had to
Starting point is 00:26:35 wait for your number and everything and you go to meet that woman who when she smokes the smoke comes out of a wound in her neck and stuff like that. Like little subtle things as a kid I thought were amazing and I wanted to know more about that sort of universe. Nowadays, if Beelgeuse came out, that would be a TV series on Netflix in a heartbeat, like Death's Waiting Room or whatever they'd come up with a name for it, and you'd just have office politics in hell. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:27:01 That kind of thing. ALICE I took my kids to see that movie, If Imaginary Friends, the one with Ryan Reynolds and what's his face from The Office. Jim Halpert. RILEY Oh, it's got like a big purple monster in it. ALICE Yes, yeah, it's voiced by Steve Carell. RILEY Is it good?
Starting point is 00:27:17 ALICE It sure is, it was alright actually, yeah, it was good. It was a nice family movie. Like if you have young kids, it was pretty good. I went into it thinking I'm gonna hate this and I'm gonna fall asleep for two hours and whatever, but no, I was pleasantly surprised actually. It wasn't too bad at all. It was nice. You know what's funny?
Starting point is 00:27:34 My kids are just at that age now where I don't take them to see stuff like that in the cinema. They're coming to see slightly different films in the cinema. They're just a little older. But I mean, that's the kind of thing we might watch when, when it comes through. ALICE Yeah, yeah, it's worth a watch. It's a nice, just nice little family one, you know? It's a family movie about families and stuff, and it's just one of those ones where it's just like, yeah, it's pretty good. Reminds you... RILEY Do you know Inside Number Nine? You know the show Inside Number Nine? So the last season is on of that. My kids and I have been watching it.
Starting point is 00:28:06 It's funny because, like, I've started watching... It's been like for ages. It's been like ten years? It's been like ten years. I think it has. I miss that show. Some are better than others, for sure. It has really kept Reese Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton busy, though.
Starting point is 00:28:20 It's kinda kept them away from doing anything else too much. When it's good, though, it's exceptional. Like, fuck me, there's some really good episodes. For sure. For sure. So, watching it with them, like, they've never seen a show like that before. Like, it kind of reminds me, when I was younger I'd watch like, The Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, and then Tales of the Unexpected and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:28:42 These kind of anthology shows where it's a one-off episode, you don't know what's gonna happen, and there's a twisty ending. So one of the episodes we were watching was called... I think it's called The Ville, right? ALICE So, inside number nine, the idea is that it all takes place within a sort of one set. RILEY Generally one location, yeah. ALICE Like, number nine of this apartment, or it's
Starting point is 00:29:00 number nine and it's like a bus, do you know what I mean? RILEY Right. ALICE It's like, yeah. It's cleverly done like that. It's the gimmick, but it kinda keeps it self-contained in a very clever way. It feels almost like a little mini-play. It is like that. Because it's set in one room.
Starting point is 00:29:13 It's funny as well. I love the episode about the woman, who you find out... Well, actually, I don't wanna spoil it. I think it's called a Catherine... Is this the Christmas one? Or something? Where is it set? who you find out... Well actually, I don't want to spoil it. I think it's called a Catherine or something. Is this the Christmas one? Where is it set? Well, it follows this woman.
Starting point is 00:29:30 It starts off with this woman is like, I guess she's like, it kind of like follows her life. She's single and she gets back from like, I think a Halloween party and there's a guy dressed up as a firefighter and she's dressed up as like a nurse or something, and they have it off. And then they get together and they have a kid and then they break up. You sort of flash forward through time. It flash forwards through her whole life. That's a good episode. Yeah, it's really good though.
Starting point is 00:29:56 That's a really good episode. Yeah, really good one. I heard there was another TV show like that. Wasn't there one with Jonathan Frakes? People always make that meme where he's asking questions like, how did that happen? How did the doctor know? Blah blah blah. I can't remember what it was called.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Because I don't think it was really on over here. Jonathan Frakes, let's look it up. It was like a sort of mystery thing. After Star Trek, he did a TV show called Beyond Belief, Fact or Fiction. Which is a very long title, but it's like, it ran for five seasons, I think. Sorry, six seasons. And it was generally, it was like episodes like, so here's season one, the apparition, the electric chair on the road, number one with a bullet and dream house. So there's five stories in there. Needlepoint, Toy to the Rescue, Mystery Lock, the house on Baker Street, and the train. So I guess he was the guy... the first series was James Brolin was introducing
Starting point is 00:30:54 it, and then the subsequent seasons were Jonathan Frakes introducing it. And I think it was like four or five stories in a row, I guess, rather than just inside number nine, which is like one story for half an hour. ALICE See, this would now be like a YouTuber, right? They would be doing like five ten minute little videos, you know, about weird, creepy, supernaturally type vibes, you know? It would be like, what? This is what happened?
Starting point is 00:31:21 Was it a crocodile? Or, you know, did he rip his own dick off? It's like, which one... You know, you have to, like, kind of, try and defy the logic, right? Yes, that's what it is. It's sort of this... This sort of supernatural vibe, but with an actual explanation, possibly. It's like, well, y'know, he could have just fallen in the hole, but everyone says it was the ghost. ALICE Those ghost shows, I think they still rerun them, the ones with Derek Okora and guys like that.
Starting point is 00:31:52 ALICE Was it Most Haunted was the... JUSTIN Was that what it was called? ALICE There's one called Most... was it Most Haunted? JUSTIN I dunno. ALICE Where people would go and stay at... JUSTIN Ghost Hunters or something? ALICE Yeah, Ghost Hunters. People would go stay at, like, you know, supposedly haunted houses.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Well this is such cheap reality TV, right? You don't even need any special effects. I mean, I watch a lot of crappy reality TV, but I would draw the line at that, I couldn't really sit through that. You've gotta understand that, like, you know, all you need is a film crew and a camera, you know, and one or two... AAPE presenter, and one or two people who are gonna scream. ALICE Every year The Apprentice is scary enough for me, I don't need to watch.
Starting point is 00:32:34 LIAM Have you not watched that one set in a hotel where they have a suitcase of money? It's like, um... ALICE Oh, is that the one where they all stay in separate rooms, and they can't talk? LIAM Love? What's that show with the suitcase of money called? Oh, it's called Suitcase of Money? Fortune's Hotel, yeah. Thank you. Fortune, Fortune Hotel. Fortune Hotel!
Starting point is 00:32:51 Did you just yell at your... I didn't yell, I asked her, she's in the next room. Fortune Hotel. Is that the one where they're in rooms where they're not allowed to see each other? Oh, it's on ITV. I know, they have a suitcase, and there's, everyone has a suitcase, and in one suitcase there's a ticket that means you gotta go home that night, and in another suitcase there's £250,000.
Starting point is 00:33:13 And you could, the whole game involves swapping suitcases, okay? Right, I see. You kind of don't wanna give away that you've got the suitcase with all the money in it. It's hosted by Steven Mangan. Yeah, Steve Mangan, he's brilliant. He's a really really good comic actor, very funny guy. ALICE Ten pairs of contestants have the chance to win the ultimate jackpot of 250 grand. JUSTIN That's not the ultimate jackpot though, is it?
Starting point is 00:33:34 I mean, who wants to be a millionaire is the ultimate jackpot, surely. That's literally a million quid. I don't know why they have to call it the ultimate jackpot. ALICE Yeah, one day ago it had its biggest audience yet, at 2.5 million viewers. Yeah. So, Mrs. F watches it, I've watched an episode. The idea is, you know the way they always have these sort of, it's like an hour long fucking show for some reason, because they fluff it out so much, but they have these
Starting point is 00:33:58 trials that they have to do, these games or whatever. If you win the games, you get to swap last. If you win a game, you are the last person to swap at the end of the day. So everyone's sitting there and they're all being very cagey. And the thing is, they're all talking about alliances and who they can trust, and like we're teaming up with these guys. I said, what do you mean trust? You can't trust anybody.
Starting point is 00:34:17 The whole point of the game is to take this money. If you finish the day with the suitcase, you get to take ten grand out of it. That's the case in the traders, but people always just blindly trust each other in that. I just don't get it. There's no way to say, I own that forming alliance. And another thing that people do on reality TV, and I always think, am I missing, are they just not showing a lot of footage or something? But how do people decide that these people that they've just met are their best friends?
Starting point is 00:34:42 Like they just don't have friends? Yeah, it's bizarre. You can't decide that these people that they've just met are their best friends. Like, they just don't have friends. They're forced into a situation and now is their chance to finally make some friends? Like, their loyalty is sometimes in some of this stuff staggering. For somebody you've just met. He's like, oh I can't let my friend down. That's not your fucking friend. You've known him for five seconds!
Starting point is 00:35:01 Let him down! And they're trying to screw you over for money! Like, let him down!" And they're trying to screw you over for money! Like, come on. I mean, the most recent series of traitors is exactly, exactly that. At the end. The ending is she's like, I just believe him because he's so lovely and he's been my friend! And he just, like, wins the whole thing as a traitor. And she was like, I can't believe it! I was like, everyone else can believe it! I love the voice, it's so accurate as well, because it was like, oh, I can't believe this
Starting point is 00:35:26 has happened to me. Yeah, it's like, oh, if he's lying, I don't know what to think anymore. Well, how about that you're on a fucking game show, and everybody's lying to everybody, like, what are you thinking? Yeah, there's more of a chance that he's lying to you than anything else. Exactly! It was just so funny. So it's another one of those kind of things.
Starting point is 00:35:45 ALICE How do you guys feel about parlor games? ALICE Defined. ALICE So, obviously, like, back in the Victorian era, but also nowadays. ALICE So I am not that old, Lulac. LULAC No, me neither. ALICE A classic parlor game would be like Hide and Seek, or like Sardines, right?
Starting point is 00:35:58 ALICE Oh, man, I used to love playing Hide and Seek in the dark. Like in when we were kids, we would we if we go to like somebody's somebody's house, you know, to hang out or whatever. We put like cushions and all the basement windows and make it really, really dark in the basement and then play hide and seek in the dark. But man, it's terrifying because you're just like, you don't even need a great space to hide because it's so dark. So you can just kind of like stand there, but you have to like hold your breath and stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Because it's like, you know, it's quiet and like if they hear you, they'll find you sort of thing. Fuck, it was so much fun. They made that horror movie like that. Didn't they? Where they broke into a blind guy's house and his house was like set up to... I think it's called Don't Breathe. Oh. What? He was just waiting for intruders and then they... Yeah, it's sort of like a trap house.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Sure enough, they came in and he... Oh, right. Oh, wow. Yeah. He was just waiting for intruders, and then they... Yeah, it's sort of like a trap house. Sure enough, they came in and he... Oh, right. Oh, wow. I'd be really good at that, by the way, because I was fucking really good at hide and seek in the dark. Well, you could still do it. So there's a Mafia variant now, I can't remember what it's called, sorry about this, but I
Starting point is 00:36:57 was looking at it yesterday, and the idea is that it's like Werewolf or Mafia, except during the night phase, everyone has to hide, right? In the dark, okay? And if someone, you know, finds you, the killer, they can, they have a special thing where they like, you know, tap you twice in the shoulder and that means you're dead, and then you have to lie there as a corpse, right? Now, if someone finds you during that hide and seek dark night phase, who's an innocent person, they can shout, oh, I found a body, you know, otherwise you just don't turn up to the table the next morning and you're dead, right?
Starting point is 00:37:28 Yeah. But the idea is that if you die, you then come back as a ghost. What you do is, you have to give everyone ten seconds until they hide, and then you turn your phone on, with the screen on, and you have to shuffle. So, you have to keep your feet together. What? Shuffle like a ghost. You could only moan.
Starting point is 00:37:49 The different ghosts do different things. And so one of them shuffles and moans and waves their phone around, and it's super freaky. And then, to what end? Just to kind of freak everyone out. Oh I see. So it's not part of the game. They don't have an ability, they just creep around. And so you're hiding, and you're worried that someone's gonna kill you, and there's like
Starting point is 00:38:07 ghosts shambling around with their lights and stuff, like lighting up the area, and you don't want a ghost to come near you to reveal you to the killer. I don't know if I want to do any of this stuff as an adult, though. I still have an imagination, obviously, but it's not a kid's imagination, where that would be a fantastical experience for me. I feel like the whole time it'd be like, this sucks, this person isn't making the right noises, this fucking idiot isn't playing correctly, you know what I mean? And then, also, I don't think adults can be trusted in that situation, because you'd probably
Starting point is 00:38:42 have one game and it'd be like, oh, this is great, or whatever, next game, somebody's getting groped, for sure. Yeah, it was my first thought. My first thought was, count down to somebody getting groped. In the dark. He grabbed my boob in the dark! Oh, I thought you were dead body, so you know. She grabbed my honker! Again! In the dark! It keeps happening! These ghosts are groppers! What's happening? It's a special role!
Starting point is 00:39:07 The ghost is a gropper! I think your idea's fine, I think if you're into that, whatever, but I'm just like, maybe I'm cynical or whatever, but like, I would've loved to play something like that when I was a kid. I think you have to have the right group who wants to do this, though. But sometimes you get forced into it at someone's house by some busybody mum, or whatever, y'know. It's like, come on everyone, we're gonna play this thing now, come on, we're gonna play this game, and it's like, oh, god. You know what, I feel like if you have to get people together in that way, where you're
Starting point is 00:39:42 talking them into it, how much fun are we really having? ALICE I've never known anybody be like that, y'know? Like my mother-in-law is pretty chill, y'know? You go over and she's like, you want tea? Yep. Just watch TV. Y'know? There's no, like, game arranging or anything, y'know?
Starting point is 00:39:58 It's like a bit of... JUSTIN You're not wrong. It doesn't happen to me. I kind of semi-wish it did, y'know, like I actually played these interesting physical parlor games, y'know? Some of them are... One of them is classic, like, are you there Moriarty? I think you've heard of this one.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Is it like Marco Polo, but like, it takes place in the... On a waterfall. ... in the drawing room, or whatever. This is all rich people stuff, by the way. Rich people do all this shit. Yeah, they call it parlour games, for fuck's sake. It's like, they host dinner parties, and they do parlour games, everybody's drunk by the time these things happen, mostly, I'd say.
Starting point is 00:40:38 They fall into the same category to me as drinking games. Which is, I don't need to have a game to encourage me to drink with my friends and have a laugh. I think it's just people that don't really have anything to say. By the time I'm loosened up and ready to play the games, I'm falling asleep anyway, so. Drinking games don't evolve blindfolds and hitting people with newspapers, or hunting for thimble under a handkerchief or something. Do you know what I mean? Drinking games are very much like, often word games, memory games, which are again, like,
Starting point is 00:41:08 different. They're to do with... ALICE They're simplistic. LIAM I'm putting them in this... ALICE They're primal. LIAM They're primal. ALICE In the same Venn diagram. ALICE The best drinking game, Chug-a-Lug.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Where all you do is just drink fast. Yeah. That's it. It's so simple, but so effective. And then people chant, chug a lug while you're drinking, while you're just chugging one down really fast. That's the game. Don't need it.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Don't need it. Just have a laugh. You wanna slam that beard? Go for it, bud. Don't need a game. Parlor games? I'd say, no big ups to parlor games this week from me. No.
Starting point is 00:41:42 I'm refusing to big up them. No. Well. Even like... So nothing... you're happy to stay around, though? Yeah. I'd rather just sit around, honestly. When I go out with people I know, I find that the conversation that everyone just having a laugh is more than enough. Although, last time I was down in Bristol we did end up getting really drunk and playing
Starting point is 00:42:01 a game, which was, I guess you could call it a parlor game, it was just wrestling. We got drunk and everyone was wrestling on the floor. Yeah. It was just... What the fuck? We were just drunk. Who was doing wrestling? Everyone.
Starting point is 00:42:15 What do you mean everyone? I mean everyone. Who do you wrestle? Lydia? Tom? Duncan, I think? I can't remember. Not the first name I was expecting.
Starting point is 00:42:23 What, were you doing, like, full headlocks? Do you give anyone a Boston Crab? Nah, I don't even know what that is. You gave anybody a gas pedal? I don't know what that is either. How was that? We were all, everyone was just resting, we were all drunk. You basically grab, you grab somebody by both ankles, and you insert your foot into their
Starting point is 00:42:40 groin and then you pull their ankles. That's a gas pedal. Oh god. No, we weren't trying to kill each other! Right. A gas pedal! I definitely remember, I think Ravs and Tom wrestled at some point, there was a lot of mucking about.
Starting point is 00:42:54 We were just all very drunk. I mean, that to me is just, that's not a parlor game. That's not a parlor game. What were you doing? That's just being ridiculous. That's like an episode of Trailer Park, boys. Yeah, it was funny. Lydia's like a giraffe with an injured leg, y'know, you can't...
Starting point is 00:43:09 She's very fragile. I know! I was concerned. But, y'know. The wrestling must happen. One fall from that height, and God, she's gonna shatter like a statue. Oh, it was so funny. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Well, when you're drunk, y'know, whatever. Anything goes. That doesn't hold up in court though, Flax. It's not a good defense. Wake up the next day, we're all covered in bruises. I wouldn't mess with Duncan either, or Ravs, like, those guys are like bears, they'll savage you. Big lads.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Yeah, they're the ones I want on my team, not trying to... I mean, I'm just trying to think who actually I might be able to, like, boof maybe, I guess? Yeah. Don't try, I would say don't try and wrestle Oz. She is, she can limbo, like, no one I've ever seen. ALICE Well, I think Oz has just got hidden blades on her, you know, you wouldn't even know. ALICE She was unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yeah. She did, there was some limbo at one point as well, and I remember she was... ALICE I'm trying to think of who I'd effectively be able to win against in a wrestling match, and so far the only people I can think of are small children. ALICE But Limbo, that is not a part of the game. ALICE I don't think I've beaten any adult in a wrestling match. ALICE Ugh.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Well... ALICE Any. Even if they're way shorter than me, or anything. I just don't think I'm very good at wrestling. ALICE They do this with YouTube boxing matches, they pick a really scrawly puny guy and put another scrawly puny guy against him. Oh man. Talking of boxing, first of all, for any boxing fans out there, the Yusick Fury
Starting point is 00:44:32 fight was a really good fight. It was a really really good fight to watch. I heard he is the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. Yeah. Yusick is now the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world! Yusick! is now the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world! YEEEESEEE! Everybody goes mad. So yeah, it was a really good fight. Tyson Fury had some weird things to say afterwards, and I think he wished people happy new year or something.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Oh right. It was really weird. It was like a bit of a coked out Ultimate Warrior trash talk segment. I dunno. It was very very odd. Oh god. Yeah. It was, uh, yeah. Those are odd, but I think it's, it's normally owing to like concussions and stuff, you know?
Starting point is 00:45:11 Yeah, no, he got clobbered. He really did get clobbered. I think you can get into a pretty fucked up mind space after you've been, uh, concussed. For sure. But that was, it was a good fight. Are you looking forward to the Tyson, Jake or Logan Paul one? That is what I am really looking forward to. Which Paul is it?
Starting point is 00:45:27 Jake or Logan? I don't know. I think it's Jake Paul. I was watching Tyson's training videos and I was reading some comments from people relating to these videos. There's some really good ones in there. My favorite one was, I wouldn't even fight Mike Tyson with a gun. And it's true, he is a terrifying individual.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I mean, he's old, he's like, what is he, 58 now or something, Mike Tyson? Let's have a look. Mike Tyson is 57. Yeah. He still moves really fast. So the thing is, if you've been a boxer most of your life, which he has been, he's clearly not in the shape he was in his prime, obviously. He's 57, Jake Paul's a younger man.
Starting point is 00:46:14 The point is, Mike Tyson was the greatest boxer of his era. Like, insanely good. Knocked people out for fun. Unbelievable punch strength and speed. There is, honestly, he must have been told, please don't kill him. Because there are people saying, he's old, he'll lose. I don't know, man. You can find a lot of videos of older guys who can really box, not putting younger guys on their arse. Because it's not just about... If boxing was purely about who is the strongest, Tyson Fury would have won. Because he's fucking
Starting point is 00:46:44 huge. He's six foot nine, right? And when he hits people, they stay hit. There is a lot more to boxing than that. It is not just big man hit big man. There is real skill to it. There's strategy to it. You've got the reactions. You've got that literally knowing when to target your punches and how to take soak up damages. There's a lot to it. It's a proper fucking sport. That's why it's hard to be really good at boxing. Mike Tyson, yes he's older, there is no fucking way he loses that fight. If it's an honest fight. If he hits him properly once, it lights out. There is no way. There is no way. Because he's knocked out people much bigger and better than whichever Paul this is. I'd be astonished if Jake Paul wins. A genuine fright. There's two people in this life that I'm afraid of. My wife and Mike Tyson.
Starting point is 00:47:28 That's it. Those are the only two. Only two things fear me. The wrath of my wife and Tyson. Oh, fuck. I would not want to fight Mike Tyson. I mean, I don't want to fight any boxer, but Mike Tyson, to me, Mike Tyson is like you said, you know, he was the undisputed champion of his era, but I think he could, I think he could kill a man with his bare fists. Quite a no, I genuinely think he could, even more so than most. Do you know who I really wouldn't want to fight? I really wouldn't want to fight Mark Zuckerberg right because he does you see stuff apparently he does like he's like
Starting point is 00:48:10 This is when him and Eon Musk were rubbing cocks against each other and threatening to fight Star Trek you know Data is a fucking badass right he just lifts people up by their necks He does those karate chops too that right, but that's not why not why. The physical side of it, and losing because he's technically good, that isn't what would worry me. That could be pretty much any trained fighter. I just get this impression that he would do a funny breathing thing while he's got you in a hold. Like he'd be like, doing little nerd grunts or something.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Like he'd have you in a grunt, he's like, eeeh eeeh eeeh, submit! Submit before me! Like that would be awful. Like you're losing to Mark Zuckerberg. Like that would be the ultimate humiliation. I'd be like, oh my god, I'm gonna tap out. I don't ever want to fight him, and I don't want, you know, if this ever gets back to him, I don't want this grounds for, like, you know, fighting. No, I don't want to fight anyone.
Starting point is 00:49:03 I really don't. I think he's, he seems to me like a biter. Like he'll be biting. No, I don't want to fight anyone. I really don't. I think he's... He seems to me like a biter. Like he'll be biting. He's in there, he'll be biting. For sure. I reckon he'd have a boner while he had you in some kind of a lock. Oh my god!
Starting point is 00:49:15 He'd be rubbing it against you. Can you feel my power? Oh god. Oh man. I don't know though, like all the adrenaline and the testosterone and everything, like, I don't know, maybe I would welcome his boner, is what I'm saying, you know, in the confusion. Right. Yes, I can feel it pressing into the small of my back.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Captain, this is a very weird sensation. Oh, fuck. You call it him Captain now. Yeah, he's calling him, just getting... My wires are crossed, Captain, I think I'm dead. Oh man. Oh my god. Yeah, I don't know, again, I just wouldn't want to fight. I don't want to fight anyone.
Starting point is 00:49:57 No, I just want to chill. You know, I don't mind if other people want to fight each other. Yeah, I like watching fighting, but uh... Just don't fight me. I'm a big fan of boxing. I know at the UFC it feels so... I don't know, there's something horrible about it. When they punch him on the ground and stuff, I really can't get into it.
Starting point is 00:50:12 It's not an atmosphere that I would enjoy much, a fight atmosphere. I think people are too, like... You know that Eddie Murphy bit from Raw or Delirious where the Italian goes to watch Rocky? Oh yeah. Oh, Rocko! I feel like it's like, yeah, hey Rocko! I feel like it's like that, you know, it's just a lot of people getting all, like, really
Starting point is 00:50:33 fucking supercharged and amped up and... Do you know what it, I think, especially now that I've had kids and you see what kids are like when they see something like that, I feel like some people never grow out of that phase. They're the kids who, they watch wrestling, and they're like, let's do this in the backyard! Braining each other. Jumping off their roof onto a mattress and stuff. It's like, calm down, kids. You can watch the thing and be excited by it, but you don't then have to go out and
Starting point is 00:50:59 do it. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Oh my god. Alright, chaps, I gotta go. I'm sorry, I have to go to an appointment. He has to go. Oh good, thank you, Sips. Well, look, 53 minutes, I agree. I agree. ALICE Alright chaps, I gotta go. I'm sorry, I have to go to an appointment. RILEY He has to go. ALICE Oh good, thank you, Sips.
Starting point is 00:51:07 ALICE Well, look, 53 minutes, pretty good. RILEY Yeah, we got 53. ALICE Yeah, we got 53. RILEY Covered a lot of ground, a lot of bases. ALICE We got 53 and no big ups. RILEY No, big ups. ALICE We almost gave a big up to Parlor Games and then decided no.
Starting point is 00:51:18 RILEY Well, you stepped in real quick to make sure that didn't happen. ALICE Yeah. RILEY I'm glad of it. Well done. ALICE Shut that shit down. RILEY I shut that shit right down, yeah. RILEY glad of it. Well done. Shut that shit down. I shut that shit right down. Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna shut the shit down.
Starting point is 00:51:28 I said name. We're gonna stop this punk ruff. We're gonna stop. All right. We will see you guys next time. Thanks for listening. See you next time. Bye.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Bye.

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