Triforce! - Triforce! #293: It's all politics (and football)

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Triforce! Episode 293! Lewis has been to TwitchCon and Corfu and has plenty of stories to share, we're wondering who the hell is making Garfield in 2024 and indulge in a very rare piece of football chat! Go to http://mistymountaingaming.com and use code TRIFORCE to get 10% off your order. Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Treats for every celebration, big or small. Make it easy and breezy with our legendary lineup of summer must-tries from the PC Insider's Report Summer Edition. Like our new flakeouts, there are delicious twists on the croissant doughnut with 24 layers of croissant flakiness twisted with fancy doughnut fun. Get ready to go all out for less. Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Tri-Fox Podcast.

Oh boy. Been away a couple of weeks, so we've got plenty of things to talk about. Yeah. Perhaps. Peter, how are you? I am doing great. I've had a good week. I'm here in Bristol for the week, recorded a few things.

Yes. Yeah, it's been a good time. To hang out with you. Yeah. We're not in the same room, but we're nearby. I can hear you. Yeah, well, I can hear you. It's very cold in here. I see. I can hear you in the next room. Can we're nearby. I can hear you. Yeah, well I've got Dorip, it's very cold in here.

I see. I can hear you in the next room. Can you hear me? Yes. Hello there! No, you hang up first. No, you hang up first. No, you.

And, uh, so it's busy, a couple of weeks, in Jersey, keeping busy? As usual. Pretty busy, yeah. You know, it's pretty non-stop. Just always up to no good over here, you'know, just living life on the edge. The absolute edge. So who wants to start with something they've done? Come on, you can't say that on election day.

Oh, that's true, it is election day. By the time this goes out, we will have a new government. Hold on. We will have a new government, that's right. It's kinda like... In the UK, sorry, I should say. I'm allergic to politics, chat. I forgot.

Oh my goodness. Well, I think a lot of people are. But tonight we have the thing where, it's like shit Eurovision, where everyone, the news sort of slowly covers the votes coming in, and everyone... It's the only time Brits stay up through the night, or work through the night, y'know, for anything, really. And the results from whiffing whopping stock have just come in. A town with five people in it, and it looks like they've all cast their ballots.

Yeah, it's like that all night long, basically. And then they get the candidates up on stage, and they read them out, in no particular order. It'll be, uh, Sean, the local sheep farmer, three votes. Well, I'm voting for the farm-in party, because I'm a farmer. I best represent the needs of myself and my flock, when it comes to farming. Exactly. And then it'll be like, um, uh, idiotot McFuckface, uh, Bin Party, you know, the- Two votes!

Whoooooo! Yeah. Labour. 17,961 votes. And then it will go to another lunatic. It'll be like, James Morrison. Morrison's party. Okay.

Meal deal party. Three votes. Okay, he'll get his three. And then you'll expect he'll be Conserve Food, but no, then it'll be another... Do you know, you have to sit through so much of this all night long. Yes. If you choose to. You don't have to sit through it, you can just watch the highlights at a later date. And the thing is, it's full of constituencies. Full of these, almost, memes that come up

every four years. Or five years. And it runs... There's always one constituency who seem to go first, or rush, or race to declare first. Because they're small. And they've got some stupid name, and it's... And the commentators are the same, again, people who have been doing it for the last ten general elections, and they look about like walking skeleton men, or free-head ghosts. It's not looking like it's gonna be a close one, either. I don't think there's gonna be any instances of, like, stop the count, or anything like that.

I think the way things are looking, it's going to be pretty one-sided. It's meant to be the biggest landslide where the Tories lose the most seats. In living memory or something crazy like that, or even ever, that's how catastrophic this could be for the Conservative Party. And they've had 14 years, they probably overstayed their welcome, they definitely ran out of people. Like, it was literally like they were playing a board game, and they just ran out of cards.

That's literally how it felt. They used all their cards at the beginning, got some points on the board, and then they just sort of ran, I'd blown it, that was my entire strat. And now the late game, you know, suddenly they're gonna get dumped. Who've we got left? Yeah. It's true, it's true. And also we've had the crazy US politics going on as well, I've seen a bit of this while I was away, like, at the moment everyone's calling for Biden to step down, because he's too old.

They're calling for me to step down! They want me to step down! They're saying I'm too old! Hang on, let me move one of my legs. No, hold on a minute now. I've talked to you two years when it's done. Give me a sec, I'm just turning to laugh. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to step down. When you say step down, do you mean literally or figuratively? I can't step much anymore.

Steping down is gonna be pretty long. Talk about a step down, man. When I was in the Great Depression, we were eating mole rats. That was a step down from what we used to eat. It's just these old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old,

old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, old, eating mole rats, and that was a step down from what we're used to. It's just this old, ancient prospector that they've pushed onto the stage. You be present. But the thing is, I saw a video of, side by side of him four years ago, Lewis, we were talking about this, the age that he has had, just in four years, it looks like he's been terribly terribly

ill. Which he may have been, but I suspect just the weight of the presidency is so great. It is. It is. All of them going, looking young and coming out looking old as shit. Apart from... It really is. Obama, terribly different.

Donald Trump looks the same. Donald Trump looks the same. Donald Trump just golfed the whole time. Yes, exactly! Also, Donald Trump, I know he makes a big deal about Biden being old, but Trump is old. He's like, he's already super fucking old. NICHOLAS He's three years younger, I think.

NICHOLAS They're all so old! Where are the youngsters? Where are the youngsters? You know, my favorite stat is that Bill Clinton, I think it was 35 years ago that he ran for president, he is still younger than those guys. Yeah. Oh, it's unreal. But, um, I think it's...

You have to laugh at it, otherwise you just cry, right? Because younger... See, I think he's had way more sex than Trump in and outside of the White House. I don't know if that's true. Trump's a shagger, really. Probably in the White House way more, but outside? I don't know, I think it's probably a pretty close race. Like I think...

Well, they're both on the Forbidden List that everybody doesn't really seem to care about anymore, but you see they released some more Epstein things. I'm sure everyone is on that list. Yeah, there's a lot of people on the list. But it feels like it's weird, like, I think it was meant to be sort of like, holy crap, but it almost feels like everybody's just over it now, it's old news, everybody's like, oh yeah, whatever. But, I mean, it's still gotta be-

Yeah, they fucked some kids, so what? What about the cost of bagels? That's what I wanna talk about! My gas prices are going through the roof, I don't care how many kids they fucked on that island! I'm not paying 18 bucks a gallon!" Yeah. You're right.

It's wild. Oh, man. God, shit. He might be a kid fucker, but he's our kid fucker! He's our guy! He's still our guy! Yeah, it's real bad. So, yeah, and then, speaking of kid fuckers, we went to TwitchCon.

Best segway triforce history. Who had a segway? That is the best segway you've ever done. That is. Gotta be up there, yeah. Good old Dr. Disrespect... Dr. Kiddrespect, I think. Had four or five years to prepare a statement after Twitch banned him and everyone was speculating why. It turned out he's not a nice guy.

Yeah. Who knew? Who would've thought that it would've turned out to be bad, once we all found out? I mean, it clue is in the name. We really should, like, pay more attention to that. He's not an actual doctor. Uh, either. You know?

I mean, we shouldn't... We shouldn't... Anyone who calls themselves doctor when they're not an actual doctor... Just string them up. String them up. RILEY That's when I learned to disrespect him! When he claimed to be a doctor when he's not a doctor! Do you want to hear his statement?

ALICE Oh, it's astonishing. RILEY This is the thing that he spent all this time working on. Doctor! Do you wanna hear his statement? Yeah. It's astonishing. This is the thing that he spent all this time working on. Hello, I'd like to make a quick statement. Let's cut the fucking bullshit. As you know, there's no filter with me. I've always been upfront and real with you guys on anything that I can be upfront about. Which means nothing, really.

Hiding it for five years. Because that means he's definitely not been upfront and real, because he's literally saying on anything that he can be upfront about, which definitely implies he's been hiding shit, which we now know. I'm always willing to accept responsibility, which is why I'm here now. First and foremost I do want to apologise to everyone in my community as well as those close to me, my team and everyone at Midnight Society Game Studios. A lot of people have been left in the dark about what happened yesterday with Midnight Society and I blah blah blah blah blah. Didn't want to jeopardize this that and the other.

This is a huge statement right it keeps getting on all the usual stuff and then he's saying he takes responsibility from a moral standpoint should never have had these conversations that's on me I'm an adult husband and father a terrible husband it should have never happened I get it I'm not perfect and I'll own my fucking shit and then it's like it's all very self aggrandizing and I'm not gonna disappear. I'm not going anywhere I don't get it. Like what is what is he thinking is gonna happen after this? I guess he's Demonetized everywhere So, I mean if he sticks around cool, I guess but it's gonna be hard to earn Money, right if every platform is like no, sorry

We're we don't want to make money off of you or whatever, which is to earn money, right? If every platform is like, no, sorry, we don't want to make money off of you, or whatever. Which is what's happened, right? I think YouTube have demonetized them, Twitch banned them, and even Kicker saying they don't want to consider... Oh, how tragic. A millionaire guy gets demonetized and can't make money for, y'know, a few months before they fucking just turn around on around and let them go again. Yeah, it's inevitable, right?

Like, oh, boo hoo. I dunno. I feel like it's... it just... He just... People shoulda known. It was the moustache. He's giving people with moustaches a bad name. He's still got yours?

Poor old moustache happens everywhere. Yeah, he has. Yeah. He's started wearing some shades? Shades of black and sarcanine! You can move in. He's still got yours? He's still got yours? Mustache havers everywhere. Yeah, he has. Yeah. You can start wearing some shades? Shades are back in the market now. You can move in.

Ugh. You know, shake it off. The mustaches, this is a big crash in the mustache market for people with mustaches, do you know what I mean? We were barely shaking off the 80s porno pedo stash, and now it's back in fashion. Now it's back. I don't know, American cops have been sporting the fashion since the beginning of time, I think.

Like, even still, now you see them, they all got mustaches. Lot of military guys. Yeah, a lot of them have these bellies too. You have to have the belly and the mustache. Yeah, if you'd like to see your license and registration, please sir. Please sir? Get out of here. Why do you do this?

Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? Why do you do this? They're fucking American police. I can't- I cannot stand the idea of interacting with them. They scare the shit out of me. Maybe he should be a cop. Maybe that's his new career.

He would be perfect. He would be perfect. He would honestly be- Got any kids in the car, sir? Fucking hell. Oh, man. Oh. Oh. Oh, please. So, um, so Twitch comments great, it was in Rotterdam, apparently they've signed a three year deal with the city of Rotterdam. Right.

So it's gonna be in Rotterdam every time. For three years. Yeah... Hmm. I dunno. I wonder what's hitting for the city of Rotterdam. I don't know. I wonder what's sitting for the city of Rotterdam. I don't know!

A lot of drunk high foreigners get to turn up in their city, I guess. Cools. Did you meet anybody that you were wanting to meet? Did you go there thinking, I wanna meet somebody, and did you meet them? Yes. I met Xylus' dog. Remi! Remi.

Dude. Dude. Who is incredibleas's dog. Remy. Um, Remy. Dude. Dude. Dude. Who is incredible. Incredible dog. Right. I got to meet my dog, Lush. Lush, say hello to the dog.

Pet the dog. He should come down on the train for two hours on train. He brought the lovely dog. He's not meant to be Xilas! It was him. He come on the train, senor, for two hours. I am Dutch, you can tell. He's a lovely boy.

And Xilas is lovely too. The dog is, like, very passive, very calm, just sort of stood there. It's high, dude. It's high. The dog is high as fuck. It looks like it's high as fuck. But like, so... What, the dog?

Yeah. So, well, okay, so it's basically like, imagine you've got like a toy dog, right? Like the dog-sized dog, it was a toy one, it was just stiff, alright? And it was just stood up like a statue. You could kick that thing a lot. No, absolutely. You could run up at it and go to kick it, and Remi would not even see you coming. But you wouldn't of course want to do that, because it's a lovely boy.

He feels like a knitted jumper, like, with the little... so nice and warm and cuddly, and he's got kind of quite a lot of hair around his eyes, so he doesn't really look at you. He just sort of walks up to you, and stands there, and you sort of give him a cuddle, and then he sort of pads over to someone else. But he's not really looking at the people who are cuddling him, he just sort of assumes that anyone giving him a cuddle will be good anyway. He was lovely, everyone met him, cuddled him. That was the best part of TwitchCon for me, honestly.

Fuck all the rest of the shit. We did a scavenger hunt, actually, one day, which was real good fun. Was that organised via Twitch, or did you just come up with this yourself? So this is a Yogs thing. We got, like, three teams, HatFilms, me and Arty Game, and... I thought HatFilms weren't going to TwitchCon, they said that they were going to TwitchCon. Well, HatFilms won't buy tickets. And I completely understand, because Twitch are in, like, a funny old position, right?

They kind of gamify their platform, they want people to play the game, they want everyone to be a partner, everyone to be a streamer, they kind of want you to, encourage you to stream more and more and more, and they give you goals and, you know, rewards and things like that, it's very gamified, but also very monetised, like the platform wants you as the partner to buy the merch, it wants you as the partner to pay to come to TwitchCon, you know. On the one hand, you know, I make, I, or we, make Twitch tons of money every year, but also, if you buy a ticket to go to TwitchCon, which costs you, you know, 200 quid, probably.

Jesus! You pay 200 quid for a scavenger hunt? You're crazy, man. Each ticket. No, we organise the scavenger hunt, so our personal scavenger hunt, you pay 200 quid, go to Twitchcon and they put you on and they track you on the website and say, Oh, look who's coming to, Lewis is coming to Twitchcon. He's paid 200 to be there and he's paid his hotel of lights. We've paid nothing and you can meet him at Twitchcon. Do you know what I mean? It's mad. Basically hat films. And I totally feel the same way. Don't want to pay a ludicrous amount of money for a ticket to something which we should

get a free ticket to. And frankly we don't really wanna go into conventional, which is a load of adverts as well. It's a load of booths of people saying, ah, buy our thing. So, like... Like what? Like, gaming stuff. Like, buying mice and...

Yeah, it's just... They set up a... it's just a big money spinning thing. They set up a big hall full of shops. Everyone rents space, everyone pays to come. Just all mouses. Mice. You want a mouse? We got mice!

No. No. No, I'm good for mice. Oh, really? Oh, then I'm out of ideas. Good luck! But it's nice to meet everyone. There was a lot of... we did like a fan meetup on the second day outside.

And that was really nice to chat to everyone. There's a bunch of people I've seen... some of the people I've seen before, some people I've never seen before, but it was fun, it was nice, and I liked it. It was a good break. Rotterdam was quite sunny, it was quite nice walking around, seems like a very clean, very wealthy city, lot of cool architecture, cool infrastructure. Yeah, like, kinda goes to show really how nice it is in comparison to somewhere like the UK, at least recently. What are you saying? Well, Bristol feels so run down compared to it.

I mean, it's got like... Bristol's quite a big city though. Walking through one part of Rotterdam. Very lived in. It's a very big city, it's a very big city. But, Rotterdam had like, we had to get on this scavenger hunt from one place to another. And I was like, how do you guys wanna go? Because we're stood at this place, and there's a taxi rank over there, and we were stood next to a tram stop, we were actually stood like two minutes from a metro station that will take you across the city,

and there's like buses, and there's like, y'know, all we could walk or cycle, because the whole place is full of cycle lanes, y'know. There was like, so'know, or we could walk or cycle, because the whole place is full of cycle lanes. Of course. There was like, so many ways to navigate this city, and as a result it didn't feel like there was never any gridlock or like, cars beeping, y'know, none of the trains were ever like, packed full and sweaty and gross, everywhere was like, quite clean, and there were plenty of trains, plenty of... it just felt like, really well done. And I guess the impression that Rotterdam are trying to get tourists in to run these events to, you know, and the city wants to bring in things like TwitchCon, right?

So I assume they're giving Twitch some sort of preferential rate, but I don't know how long... Do you think they would welcome Socon? What's Socon? Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. What's that, Sylv? Um... Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss I don't know, I don't want to talk about Twitch too much, because I don't know how I feel about it. You've been Twitched out, you're on there all the damn time, you know? I can't get away.

Not really, you guys are. You guys are. But like, you know, there's some rumblings about YouTube launching their own big livestreaming platform and there's some rumblings about other things, but there's always been these doom setting about Twitch, like everyone's always said, oh you know. But YouTube are launching another big livestreaming platform. Yeah, this is what I'm hearing about and stuff. Anyway, I think last year everyone was like, oh Twitch is doomed, the tea before that, You're launching another big livestreaming platform. ALICE Yeah, these are what I'm hearing about and stuff.

Anyway, I think last year everyone was like, oh Twitch is doomed, the day before that everyone was like, oh Twitch is doomed, and it was the same sort of thing this year, everyone's telling me things that I can't repeat. But before that, before Twitch got- I'd flown there from Corfu, I went to Corfu. ALICE Oh yeah, that's right, you were in Corfu. ALICE I've been there for the last two years with my friends. And there were twenty of us this time.

ALICE Oh my god. You've got a lot of friends. ALICE It is. They're not really my friends. And there were twenty of us this time. Oh my god. Damn. You've got a lot of friends. It is. They're not really my friends. They're not really my friends. Well, they're my friends, but they're like, friends who I see that once a time per year. And I don't think I'd be friends- Are you just constantly buying birthday cards

and birthday gifts? Like, that's a lot of people to cover. Well, exactly, I'm not. No. It's just a lot of people. It's like a spiderweb, you know, friends invite their friends, other friends invite their friends, and so, it's a really nice place to go, the little resort we go to in Corfu. You've gone the complete opposite way of me.

There's not too much difference in age for us, but you've gained more people, and I am shrinking my people. I don't want to talk to anyone. You gotta shrink, right? I'm shrinking, yeah. I'm shrinking it all down. The less people the better. Whither it up like Joe Biden.

I'm all getting all shrunken. I got no friends. Where's my buddies gone? They died in the Great War. Told us, go over the top. I looked behind me and my buddies were gone. Until I turned back around and there was a bunch of German fellas over there. And I said, hey now, put that down! And they did.

And then we had a little campfire and a cookout. So, we did. Back in India. ALICE What was the insult he used on Trump in the debate? He called him like an alley cat or something? And it was like, fuck. What was the insult he used on Trump in the debate? He called him like an alley cat or something? Goddamn Scallywag and an alley cat.

It was like the oldest goddamn insult. It was so funny. Yeah, he's got the morals of an alley cat. Don't vote for this young whippersnapper, he's an alley cat. What does that mean? Oh, good god. So yeah, it's an eclectic group of a mixture of writers and YouTubers and influencers and OnlyFans and weird. And it's a mix of, it's a good mix, and there's always someone to hang out and chat with. I dunno, it's kind of a strange dynamic. And also it was so fucking hot.

It was dirty. It caught a few, yeah, I guess it would be, eh? Well a bunch of people have been going... There was this spate of holidaymakers that disappeared or died in the Med, and maybe it happens every year. Oh my god, baby. But it started off with that Dr. Michael Mosley guy. Who went for a stupid walk, yeah, poor guy.

Who went for a walk and died. There's that poor young lad as well in Spain, is it Tenerife? Jay Slater, yeah. He's missing a little. So there's apparently something weird going on with that, with, um, something to... there's all kinds of weird fucking conspiracy theories and stories about it. It's a strange one. The J Slater thing is weird.

So there's this, yeah, there's this British builder's apprentice who's like 18, he went to a music festival in Tenerife, which is Canary Islands, and obviously it's very hot, very, very nice place, very safe place actually for holidaymakers, for Brits as it has been for a long time. But for some reason after the party he drove up into the middle of nowhere with two guys that I think he'd only just met. God knows what that was about. But then he decided he was walking... The story is he was gonna walk back to civilization. It was a ten hour walk.

But he didn't have a phone or any water, and it was like... That area of Tenerife is actually pretty remote. Tenerife is kind of an island, but the road only goes like three quarters of the way round, so if you want to go from one side to the other you have to go the whole way round. Because that whole corner of it isn't really very well built at all, and it's a popular hiking route, but dangerous hiking route if you're not careful, you know, it's kind of wilderness-y. And so, he went missing. But there's a load of conspiracy theories, all sort of stories going around that he was actually a scumbag, or had borrowed money...

Drugs or something, yeah, there's all sorts of... There's all sorts of nonsense going around about it. And as a result, the kind of... Tabloids are all over it. On the one hand it's like, oh, this kid, young boy with his whole life ahead of him's gone missing, you know. But on the other side it's like, this guy apparently is an absolute scumbag who, um, good riddance to him.

It's very odd. It's very odd. It's very odd. It's very strange. I'm not sure quite how to pass the whole thing. And then the other thing is, yeah, other people would just randomly, like, the island just next to Corfu was an old island called Mataraki, which we were gonna do a day trip to but it was just too hot. A guy there died as well, had to be brought back, just a tourist, you know, just died of heat exhaustion or overexposure or whatever. So, one day we were there, it was 38, I looked at my phone and it said it felt like 44 degrees. It was neat.

Oh my god. I would fly home immediately. It was boiling. Fortunately we had aircon in the room, but some people don't, you know, and they're like, how do you sleep? How do you do that? I didn't have zuck on, what is that, what is zuck on? Like, how do you sleep? How do you do that? I didn't have Zuck on. What is that? What is Zuck on?

Um, I don't know. Oh shit, that reminds me, Lewis. I meant to get in touch with you to let you know of a potential investment opportunity. The war tunnels in Jersey are up for sale. 5.5 million if you're interested. You can buy your own German underground hospital in Jersey. 5.5 million if you're interested. You can buy your own German underground hospital in Jersey. 5.5 million. It's huge.

It's quite the complex, but most of it is, you can't really do anything with it. Don't you have to live on Jersey for a certain amount of time to buy property? No, I don't think, cause I don't think this counts as property that you can live in. I basically buy it and you can't really do anything with it, because I think it's all heritage protected and stuff. But you could, y'know, revamp the touristy aspect of it, y'know? Could I use it to go back to war with, like, France or someone? Because, y'know, we might have to. They're voting in a far-right fascist anti-immigration party right now.

The politics is real spicy right now, isn't it? Holy fuck. I didn't throw out the Netherlands vote one in recently as well, and there's, it's uh, what was that, there's a quote about this, about, um, you know, when, when democracy isn't feeling too well, fascism will come in to check on it or whatever, but it's not really there to check on it, or something like that. I feel like George Bush right now. Some kind of saying- It's a good quote. Hang on, I'll see if I can find it.

JUSTIN You can't fool me again. That's one of my favorites. ALICE Fool me once, shame on you. JUSTIN Fool me once, and that other guy did the shameful. And then, fool me twice, and shame is a clown of some kind involved, I'm pretty sure, and he can't get fooled again! It's the theme. ALICE Basically. Yeah. RILEY That was so funny.

But honestly, compared to what we've got now, even just going back to George W. Bush and Obama, it was like, how did we have this pretty coherent politics? Even though at the time it felt, man, everybody's out each other's throats. This is crazy now! This is crazy! ALICE Okay, I found the quote, sorry, can I just say the quote? Just to reiterate.

Okay, it says, be careful when a democracy is sick, fascism comes to its bedside, but it is not to inquire about its health. That is the quote. It's a good quote, isn't it? It's nice. RILEY Yeah. ALICE It's like Jimmy Savile. Okay.

We've just been buffeted by this news and then we can't hold things straight. This is the Triforce Notsery special. We're all about it. We're gonna talk about paedophiles today. I love them. Jesus. You know what, I've been working on a George Bush, not George Bush, a Donald Trump impression for literally five years and I still can't get it.

It's so hard to do well. But Biden, nobody really knows precisely what he sounds like, he's just kind of a doddery old man. So, that's fine. It's quite easy, I mean, that's probably not what he sounds like, you could just do any doddery old man. But Trump is such a unique way of speaking, it's so hard to get right. Really hard to get right.

It really is. Do you want to give it a go? I was not fit for broadcast, really. It's not ready. It's not there. Even after five years. It's not ready. Maybe another five years. A lot of people are saying, it's not fit for broadcast. I'm saying, it's the best Trump impression we've ever had. It's not the best. It's not the best saying it's not good for broadcast. I'm saying it's the best Trump impression we've ever had. It's not the best. It's not the best.

It's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's really good. But it's not the best. Some other people they say, they say, they say, he does this thing now where he trails off. You see what these guys are doing? If I was in the water, and Shark's in the water,

we go in the water, Shark's in the water, it's our shark, it's gonna kill it. It's all in there, it's not quite there. Shark can get a little bit of oil. It's really good. Shark's in the water. It gonna kill it so it's not quite there such to get a little bit it's not better than it's better than any person the impression is the hands and the physical the things you do with your mouth you got to do beautiful things with their mouths these days a lot of people are saying they're doing

beautiful things with their mouth we got the best mouths in the world over here. Then he goes, he's trying China! The mouths in China! China! The mouths in China! And if his head opened up and a little man came out and was like, ha ha, I'm from the planet Ploobon, gotcha, I'm the president now, I'd believe it. In a heartbeat. Oh.

Yeah. Honestly, the world is upside down. Hello there, fellow adventurers. Yes, are you in need of some epic dice for your next tabletop session? Yes, I really am. Wait, what are you doing? You've got to do it in like an old wizard's voice. You've got to do it like, hello gamers. Sure, sure, sure. Okay.

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It just turns into like some New Yorker guy. Yeah, it's like the parrot from Aladdin. That guy, what's that guy's name again? The guy that does the voice? The parrot from Aladdin? Yeah. You know, um, fuck what's his name, he plays the... he's in Problem Child, he's the admin guy at the orphanage, in Problem Child.

He's always got like that, um, a really big... JUSTIN Is it Gilbert Godfrey? ALICE Yeah, yes, yes, him. JUSTIN Sorry, what are you saying?! He's like that, he's always yelling. ALICE Yeah, the really... yeah. JUSTIN He was great. ALICE He was great.

Yeah, he was very funny. I completely forgot his name. JUSTIN Sadly, rest in yelling. ALICE Yeah, the really... Yeah. He was great. ALICE He was great. Yeah. It was very funny. I forgot his name. JUSTIN Sadly, sadly, rest in peace. He was in Beverly Hills Cop, I think it's two, where they go into his office and they

have to use his computer. I haven't seen the new Beverly Hills Cop, Axl F. ALICE No, me neither. JUSTIN But it's got, everyone that was in the old movies is back in this one. ALICE Yes. JUSTIN They all look like they've had a couple of presidencies worth of aging, and Eddie Murphy looks the same. Just a little bit of middle-aged weight, he looks the same. A lot of people do naturally age, and you gotta remember, I mean, Beverly Hills Cop, the first one came out a long-ass time ago.

And even when it came out, those guys weren't exactly young, young whippersnappers at the time, right? I bet that they were younger than we are now. All of the guys in that family. Yeah, probably, but still not like, they weren't like 19 years old, for example. No, true. They were probably in their 30s already. So yeah.

So Bevely Hills Cop, 1984. 1984. So, Eddie Murphy was born in... 1961. So he was 33 when that came out. Hang on, sorry. He's 63 now. So, Judge Reinhold was born in... Why is IMDB so fucking shit? Why is it so shit? Judge Reinhold was born in 57, so he was 37.

So he's almost 70 years old, yeah. He was 37, and... Who was the other guy in it? What was his name? His name was John Ashton. John Ashton. Wow. John Ashton was born in 1948, so he's reasonably fucking old.

Holy crap, yeah, he's pretty old, he's like almost eighty. He's seventy-six, so fair enough, he was a little older, yeah. But Eddie Murphy is sixty-three, looks fantastic. He does look fantastic, Eddie Murphy. He is also extremely rich, and by his own admission, has basically led a very cushy, chill life for the last twenty years. Hasn't really done much. Ten kids.

Yeah, but it's like, when you're that rich, I'm sure that... I think he just made all that money and thought, I just wanna have a really lovely family life and chill. And that's pretty much what he's done. He hasn't worked constantly like a lot of other actors. He obviously, if you've ever never seen it, I recommend watching the Pluto Nash movie that he made, which was a fucking shitshow, the production of that. That is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Irredeemably bad. ALICE Yeah, the Adventures of Pluto Nash. This was

the bomb that ended his career. The Adventures of Pluto Naps came out in 2002. It was a disaster. Was a box office bomb, budget of 100 million, and it made 4 million at the box office. Total worldwide gross of 7 million. It's one of the most expensive box office flops of all time. Wow. Well, this was the era of Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor, Dr. Doolittle, kind of his zany character age, right? It was not a good era. And then eventually it was Norbit, do you remember that?

Yes. Holy shit. I didn't like most of these films. What, Nutty Professor? I hated it. Dr. Doolittle? I really didn't like it. I, you know, if you compare it, 48 Hours is still a great fucking movie.

Trading Places is great, Beverly Hills Cop is great, Golden Child is pretty shit, but I enjoyed it as a kid. Beverly Hills Cop 2, it's okay. Eddie Murphy, raw, legendary stand-up performance. Coming to America, great movie. Harlem Nights, not good. Harlem Nights was not good, but apparently some people liked it, it's kind of a cult movie, I think. Another 48 hours, nowhere near as good as the original. Brotherhood's Cup 3 was really bad. Vampire in Brooklyn, dreadful. Nutty

Professor, not for me. Not for me at all. Dr. Dolittle, same. Bowfinger, I didn't really enjoy. Nutty Professor 2. Shrek, sure, that was okay. Dr. Dolittle 2. What about Life with Martin Lawrence? Are you getting to that one? When was that? That's not even on here. Oh, this is selected filmography. Sorry. Oh.

So Life didn't even make it. I didn't even make it. Life was 1999. I think that was probably also a disaster. He made some films he'd completely forgotten about. Let's see if this was a box office. It made 20 million, making it one of the biggest April openings at that time. So it was a financial disappointment. That's all it says on Wikipedia, I don't know what that is.

ALICE about life. JUSTIN Wow. ALICE It made less, it didn't break even. ALICE Oh no. JUSTIN There was a time when, Holly, he was a darling. ALICE He was untouchably superstar. ALICE When he was just coming up on Saturday Night Live and stuff, yeah. He was basically, you know, the next big thing.

Who's the equivalent now? I feel like Chris Pratt's been in everything lately and I'm sick of that. When he's rising as a comic, Richard Pryor used to, kind of, be... Give him the cold shoulder a bit. Right? Yeah, apparently so. Like, give him the cold shoulder a bit, right? Because he knew that he was gonna be super-seeded by Eddie Murphy. ALICE Richard Pryor never had the successful film career that Eddie Murphy did.

LIAM He had a pretty successful film career. ALICE He didn't, dude. Not by comparison. LIAM No, no, not by comparison, but in its own right, he did pretty well. All things considered at the time. It was kind of, he was like ahead of his time in what he was in and involved in and stuff. ALICE. Brewster's Millions was great, alright?

I love Brewster's Millions, that's a great movie. Other than that, I'm looking and it's like, they're the sort of films that you say, oh I love that movie, there's that funny bit, but when you watch it, it's not great, like they're nowhere near as big, and they definitely weren't as big as like Eddie Murphy. The equivalent now I guess would have to be someone that started off as a comic, I think Kevin Hart is probably the equivalent now. Kmahal Nairn-Bhagia Kevin Hart, yeah, probably. Sean Hines Because, started off as a comedian, very funny comedian, and now has reached a point for me where there will be other gigs, like comedy

gigs, and if the thing now is to cut to famous people in the audience and see their reactions, what's happening on stage. I feel like that was a thing that I saw Kevin Hart doing that. I didn't remember other people doing it as much, but he attracts a lot of like big sports stars and film stars to his gigs. And he'll make jokes. He'll do audience interaction, but with other rich famous people. And I think, I don't know if that's funny, like I get it, he's doing his Shaq impression to Shaq or whatever, but it's like, I feel like that's getting outside comedy at that point.

I feel that's a little too showbiz, a little too matey back slappy. It's not challenging for a comedian to make fun of other famous people, because it's easy jokes, they're all easy jokes that everybody knows, like making fun of famous people when you're famous. So like it's all a bit of matey and a bit of a big club. If you don't know, I feel like, I feel like Ricky Gervais Golden Globe stuff is pretty good though. Cause it's, it's, that was him literally making fun of them. Not in a, Hey, we're all friends. No, yeah. It was like, I'm going to say most embarrassing shit about you that I can. I'm burning every damn bridge.

Like, yeah, it was very funny though. Well, I mean, parts of it were very funny. But go into a fucking club. Go into a, actually go to a club and do that shit with the audience. Don't fucking take the easy route and just pick your mates. Which is what he's essentially doing. But either way, a lot of his movies, I think, he's made some fucking shit movies, Kevin Hart. Really shit.

And he's basically the same character in every single one. But I guess he is the equivalent to Eddie Murphy now. Yeah. Oh my god. They're doing a... Kevin Hart's in the new Borderlands movie. Wow. Is he the annoying tin can thing?

No, that's Jack Black. He's gonna be Claptrap. Kevin Hart is being Roland, which I guess is one of the Hubecom players in Borderlands 1. I took my kids to see the Garfield movie. How bad is it? Garfield, voiced by Chris Pratt. I mean, I had zero expectation going in.

Did it still disappoint? In parts, yeah. I mean, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I thought it was going to be really, really, really bad. I've still seen worse, but it was, you know, it's a bit of a slog. It was that, I mean, we could have gone to see Inside Out 2, which is apparently pretty good, but we went to see that instead. So we'll go see Inside Out 2. ALICE Who made that decision?

Did you let your kids make it? ALICE Yeah, of course they did. I'm not gonna have to mistake you. You made the worst of things. RILEY Apparently Inside Out 2 is quite good. Mrs. F took the kids to see that. ALICE It's made a lot of money. It's made like over a billion.

The box office is insane. RILEY I love the first one. I love the first one. ALICE Yeah, I know, the first one was really good. RILEY Who the fuck is making Garfield movies? What are you doing? No one fucking gives a shit about Garfield. What is happening?

Some old person was like, you know what's still good? Garfield. Is it? Was it ever good? It's got a couple of the actors from Ted Lasso voicing some of the characters in it. Roy Kent voices like a big wrinkly dog. And Rebecca...

What's her name? Hannah Wadsworth or something? She voices the bad guy character in it as well. And I mean, they're good. But the movie itself is not good, I would say. But it's Garfield. Yeah. It's so much, so limited.

It really is. say. No, no. It's Garfield. It's Garfield, yeah. There's so much, so limited. It really is. I mean, this is a comic that was like, I mean, yeah, okay, it's iconic, it's well known, but I don't know if it was ever good. No! You know, like, it was really... I hate Mondays! I love lasagna!

What else have you got for me? Yeah. Yeah. What else? It wasn't really like, cutting edge in its time or anything, you know? It was like a newspaper page filler. Yeah! At best. It wasn't really like cutting edge in its time or anything, you know? It was a newspaper page filler. At best.

Sort of thing. Yeah. I wonder how much money do you reckon those cartoonists make, back in the day, for a franchised cartoon strip that was in every fucking paper? Probably decent money. They must've been making some pretty good money. Yeah. I mean, Garfield, like in the 80s, Garfield was like, I would say bigger than he is now,

in that you could get merchandise. And so you used to be able to buy stuffed animals of him, and not only the comic strips, but you know, they do like the big compilation books. Do you ever have those? Like the Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield. Those were two good comics. They were great comics, yeah, they were really good. But you know, they were great Christmas gifts for your parents or something, you know.

Oh, easy. You just get them a big far side book, or like, you know, something like that. So at its height, Peanuts was published daily in 26,000 papers across 75 countries in 21 languages. Over nearly 50 years, Schultz drew nearly 20,000 peanut strips. The strips, plus merchandise, product endorsements, and other stuff, produced revenues of more than one billion dollars per year. Yeah. I mean, that's Snoopy and the peanuts. I'd say that's probably bigger than, way bigger than Garfield.

Oh yeah. I mean, especially in America, absolutely enormous. Yeah, but I mean, still, it's insane. Yeah, I mean, it is insane. So you know, Garfield started off as a cartoon called John. And then he was like, I should make it about the cat. Like, hi there, I'm John Arbuckle. I'm a cartoonist and this is my cat Garfield. Hi there, I'm Garfield, I'm a cat and this is my cartoonist John.

I'm at a loss for a word to describe this strip. Try Turkey, our only thought is to entertain you. Feed me. That's the strip. From that, a fortune. Incredible. That's wild, eh? 1976.

Yeah. There's a whole bunch of staple comics I remember as a kid growing up, they'd be in the papers, and on Saturday you had the big, the funny pages, you know, you had a big spread of them. But there was that one, I think it was like The Wizard of Id or something, and then there was another Viking one, which was... Which was... Hagar.

Hagar, that's the one, yeah. And then there was Calvin Hobbs, Garfield, The Far Side, and then some other ones. Peanuts used to be... Marmaduke? Marmaduke, yeah. Love Is? I don't remember that one. Which was just two naked, what looked like children. And very, when you look at Love Is Now, it's so fucking weird.

Yeah. The far side, I always found the far side very funny. The far side, when it came along, was like the alternative comedy for cartoon strips. I haven't looked at any far side comics in a long ass time, so I could just be remembering this from the, through the eyes of a kid or whatever, but I remember at the time thinking, this is just brilliant, it's so funny. But I was probably 13 at the time or something. Oh yeah, it felt really, really good.

Some genuinely were good. Yeah. Some of them, the joke itself wasn't even that funny, just the drawing was enough. It was just really funny. Yeah, I don't know, it's weird, but I feel like comics, they're still around, right? Like, there's still big comics on the internet and stuff, but they've definitely changed tone and stuff as well, haven't they? Yeah, I think that they're a lot more...

I mean, do you remember Perry Bible Fellowship? Do you remember that? No. So that, if you look at our PBF, Perry Bible Fellowship, probably the spiritual successor to Far Side in that he does these sort of multi-panel comics. Quite often there's no speech at all. In fact, I think in general there's no speech at all. And like the Far Side, the punchline is sometimes heavily inferred rather than just given to

you. It's not just like, I hate Mondays. It's like quite, quite very, very funny. But I think web comics obviously took over from newspaper comics. I follow a ton of web comics, a lot of them are very, very funny, but I just don't know how they ever make any money from it, other than merch and sometimes they bundle it together into a book. But you compare it to the old franchise system, or syndication, where you just, you get picked up by the newspapers and then bam you just sit back and write the cartoons and you print money I guess. Although I bet they don't

make a buck. I mean how much did Hagar the Horrible make? Is the guy like a multi-millionaire because of Hagar the Horrible? He's probably made a couple of millions realistically. I mean it was it was in like probably every paper paper for some time, right? And I feel like that was, even when I was a kid, that comic felt like, you know, something that my grandparents would have really liked back in the day, you know what I mean? It felt dated then, so it's probably still not, it's probably long gone. Or not, I don't know. So there was one called Beetle Bailey, do you remember Beetle Bailey?

No. That was another strip. He was like an army guy. Or not, I don't know. So there was one called Beetle Bailey. Do you remember Beetle Bailey? No. That was another strip. He was like an army guy. Lots of the comics were sort of, like coming out, obviously coming out of like World War II and then everything after, like, I think a lot of comics were aimed

as their demographic beings, like service men and women. Right? So it was, there was a big emphasis on, I mean, even shows in Britain as well, right? There was a lot of shows, like, post-war that were about the war and stuff. Well, god. Like, there's always been a very deep-rooted, satirical news thing, and it used to be cartoons or pamphlets, you know, back in the day,, even going back hundreds of years now, it's late night. Talk shows are hugely popular still, y'know, have I got news for you, or the Daily Show, or stuff like this. They're massively, almost,

they educate people who don't get their... sometimes people think that's the only place people get their politics is from a comedy source, y'know. They've obviously had huge impact in, y'know, undermining the uppity, uprightness of otherwise very hard to breach subjects, right? Like, sometimes... The thing is, Trump is such a laughable character anyway, that he's immune to it, right? You can't satirise someone who's already a cartoon. Yeah. It just writes itself, there's nothing really to... So The Daily Telegraph has had this guy doing...

I remember when I did work experience at The Daily Telegraph years ago, I think I met him. This guy called Matt, and I think he's been doing it for about 30 years. He does like a front page Satirical Cartoon, you know, once a week or so. Anyway, I just posted one that I thought was relevant. P-Flex. Oh, I know this guy. So, to describe this picture. So, it's the desk in the Oval Office, and there's a sign behind it saying, please give up this seat if an elderly or infirm person needs it.

Which is good. This is like, these kind of political cartoons, sometimes they're just boring, I feel. And also they're very of their time. So they're much, I think they're as much as the news, they're tied so densely to it. So tightly. Yeah. That whenever they do those collections of these comics, they always have to have a paragraph explaining the context.

Because it's like, this comic came out because these guys were old as fuck. Otherwise you'd be like, I don't get it. Our current president is 27. I used to have books of comic collections as well, because I think... It might have even been Peanuts. And I felt like when I was reading them as a kid, I didn't get any of the jokes. Yeah. Because everything was referencing pop culture, or something that had happened in that week,

you know. And they were supposed to be the funnies. I used to get Mad Magazine as a kid, and that was very much commented on a lot of current day stuff, and I didn't understand any of it. But I still thought it was hilarious, cause, you know, the drawings and whatever. JUSTIN Yeah, of course. ALICE When I talk to my kids about The Simpsons, I'm always like, you guys never laughed.

And my eldest, I was talking to her about this the other day, it's like, they The Simpsons. We put it on, they both silenced watching the TV, total silence. And me and Mrs F are like killing ourselves laughing at some classic joke we'd forgotten or whatever. And afterwards I was like, do you kids love it? And she goes, oh, it's our favourite show. And I was like, what do you love about it? Because you don't get any of the jokes or references at all. And my eldest, I spoke to her about it the other day, she was like, yeah, I didn't get half the jokes, but now you watch it, and you do, but it was just so well done, and they just loved the characters, and also, it's a cartoon. Okay, I also think that they enjoyed it because you enjoyed it.

And it's great to see other people having a good time. It's very hard to put that into words, but you do enjoy seeing other people laughing and having a good time. It's very hard to put that into words, but you do enjoy seeing other people laughing and having a good time. And it's nice to see people smiling, you know, and having fun together. We're like that with football, with the Euro, we've been watching the Euros, but none of us are really, like in my house, none of us are super into it, you know. We're not into it, but it's just fun to watch together, right? So like, my kids don't normally like football at all, but when there's a big tournament

on we're always like, oh yeah, we're gonna watch the game tonight and stuff, it's just fun, you know? So I did this in Corfu, like, there was the England game was on, and I just like, sat on the sofa like a big dad with like a cup of tea on my belly, just turned the football on. I was like, proper, like, dadding out. And um... Were you disappointed at the...

Well, my partner was very disappointed. At what you saw on the screen? She was like, what has happened to you? What is going on? Because I was fully leaning into the slobby England man, you know. It's been a tedious watch, this whole tournament. I've enjoyed watching Spain, and I enjoyed that game that Georgia won, and Germany seemed pretty fun to watch, but otherwise, man, it's been so boring. It's honestly, England have played so badly that there was almost a point where both Slovenia

and Slovakia sort of made it through. Do you know what I mean? Like, we almost allowed these countries to just... That last game was... Oh my god. The whole time I was just like... We have been the worst team to watch.

By far. Oh, it's just been unbelievable. Like, absolutely dreadful. What the hell are they gonna do against Switzerland, who are actually playing well? Like... I think, if you take our games out, I think it's actually been a really good tournament. I've loved it and I've watched a lot of the games. And I'll be honest with you, I think it's been a banger. There've been some absolutely brilliant matches. Lots of teams really going for it. The

passion from the players and just like, teams like Albania and Slovenia and Serbia really fucking going for it. You can see that the players and Romania, they were doing really well, really going for it. And I loved that. I really enjoyed watching those games. The Turkey game the other night was fucking classic! Yeah, that was wild, yeah. Okay, so there have been some games, but really, most Brits and English people only watch the

England games. Welsh and Scottish support the other team, right, to try and, you know, hoping that England are gonna get knocked out. And, you know, Daff was loving it, you know, when England were one down against Slovakia for 90 minutes. And everyone was sort of about to, you know, super crush. There was one guy who was like, you know, Slovakia got a good team this year, you know, they're good players, there's a lot of big country as well. And I was like, point to Slovakia on this map! Do you know what I mean? I was like, if you can point to Slovakia on this map, I'll give you 50 quid.

He pointed to Austria! I was like, fuck me! It was like, we can't, do you know what I mean? It was... It's, that's the beauty of football though, everyone is, everyone can be an expert. Oh my god. It's like, what the fuck? I mean, here's the thing though.

However far we get, people will say, let's say we get to the semi-final, or even the final, people will be like, you can't criticise Gareth, he goes to the final. First of all, our games have literally been the worst to watch. Whether you're an England fender or a neutral, the games have stank. Right? Second of all, our side of the sort of the playoff tree, if you like, on the one side, here are the games on Friday. Spain, Germany, that should be the final. It's not going to be the final. Portugal, France. That is how heavy that side

of the groups is. You've got four of the best teams. On the other side, England, Switzerland, the Swiss. Oh, can we overcome the mighty Swiss? I'm not saying they're playing bad football. They're a decent team. But they know Spain, and then, Netherlands, Turkey. I mean, Turkey, yeah, they've done really well, but equally, I would rather play them than fucking Spain! Or Germany! Or Portugal or France!

Our side of the group is a lot easier. Just wait until we win it. No. Just wait. There's no fucking chance. I'm calling it now. I'm calling it now. There's not a chance, there's not a hope in hell. I'm calling it now. I'm calling it now. There is not a chance.

There's not a hope in hell. I'm calling it now, P-Flex. England to win it. Listen, I love the support. I said before the tournament that looking at the team, like the players we've got, so many players at their peak, Bellingham coming off this incredible season, we have a decent chance. Then I saw the players he took with him, and I was like, hmm, we don't really have anyone

that plays on the left. This is a bit weird and lopsided. And then I saw the teams he put out, and I thought, oh my god, he's coached them to play the worst fucking football ever! ALICE Yeah, but then Bellingham gets a goal, and then he's like fondling his cock and balls in front of the nation as well. I mean, what the hell's up with that? RILEY I don't know, he's a nut.

I think his ego is out of control. He's 21. He just had this amazing season at Real, and now he's like, if he scores in the next round is he just gonna fucking whip it out? And start slapping his teammates in the face with his prop? What's happening? ALICE Yeah, it was just an inside joke with me and my friends.

I'm blowing myself. I can do that. I'm capable. RILEY It's just so weird. But, look, let's say we do win it. It will be the equivalent to when Greece won it, and was it 2004? They were like 1-0'd their way to the final and just won, and it was the worst fucking tournament ever. I think even the Greeks are like, yeah, we loved winning, but no one's got to highlight

real for that tournament, it was so bad. That could be us. If we beat Spain, it would be genuinely one of the biggest upsets in Euro's history, because they look so fucking good, Yeah. We look so shit. Yeah, they were exciting to watch. They're amazing. Every time they get the ball, something's happening. Fuck, they're so fast. It's crazy. They're so quick. Anyway, enough football.

Very rare bit of football chat on the Triforce. I'm not the man. It's a big tournament, right? I mean, you won't have any more for two years now in the World Cup. Wimbledon is also on. Yeah. But all my favorite players aren't really doing anything, so. Once Frederick retired, I was like, until there's another Frederick, I don't really care. Like, he was just the guy I liked watching.

The rest of them is like, it's okay. But it's not the same. ALICE It's alright, they got Andy Murray's injured so he's not competing in the singles, but he's won it twice, and they brought Tin Henman on to talk about it the other day too, which is really good. RILEY Yeah, I saw him. He looked the same. He looked the same. Good ol Tin Henman on to talk about it the other day, too, which is really good. RIght, I saw him. He looked the same. He looked the same.

Good ol' Henman. Now, he was never threatening to win anything. He was just too nice, wasn't he? He just missed a nice guy. What'd they call him? Come on, Tim! Come on, Tim! Did they call him Tim?

Tim Nice But Dim. Tim Nice But Dim, yeah. Poor ol' Tim. So, let's do some news. Alright, do it. Lose News! It's lose news! Rew, rew, rew! Apparently, on the Challenger disaster, do you remember that? Yeah. Apparently War Thunder accidentally used some of the footage from its explosion in their

advertising. Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! They'd obviously looked for an explosion with some vapour trails, they've got the stock image and... Guys, I think I found it! There's an explosion here involving two very tall buildings. I think we could probably just supercut this in and it'll look fine.

Yeah, no problem. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, great. That's what we need for our advert. That's bad, so let's do it. Okay, great. That's what we need for our advert. That's bad, so that's getting changed. Do you know we've talked about how streamers beat Elden Ring with insane things?

Yep. Do you wanna know what the latest one is? Sure. Mind control. No way! There's a streamer called Perry, Perry Carjol, who has been using an EEG device to track her brain's electrical activity, and has beaten Elden Ring with it. She's currently doing Shadow of the Urch tree DLC, and has beaten some of the expansion's

toughest early bosses using her brain. Nice. She's British! Fantastic. Can you believe it? Is that actually... Is this actually working? Like, does she actually control it with her mind, or is this bullshit? Apparently. But she's sort of waving her hands in front of her face and stuff.

Hands-free mind control setup. Oh, there's... What on earth? This is crazy! It's not even, tell you what, it's worse than the bloody controller on the office arcade machine. Sometimes she waves her hands and nothing happens. I'm never gonna get that Burger Time high score now. Yes. The office arcade machine is particularly janky. People are threatening to poo in Paris's River Seine. Seine? I thought they already did, in the Seine. People angry at the expense of cleaning up the river have rallied under the hashtag

Je suis dans le Seine le 23 juin, which translates as, I shit in the Seine on the 23rd of June. So it was supposed to be the date that the Paris mayor, Anne Hidalgo, would swim in the Seine to prove the water was clean enough for the Olympics. What are these worms doing in here?! But, uh... She's delayed her dip. It's hard.

Yeah. Until later. Yeah. So that's bad. She should get in early, surely, before the day of ship begins. Or just, like in Cities Skylines, just swim upstream of the sewage. That's what I always do. So while bunches, loads of tech bros and everyone is introducing, and in fact modern

countries are doing like a four day work week, good ol' Greece, famed for their work ethic, have introduced a six day work week. I saw that, but I didn't read it. But it's got to be something to do with cutting down the daily hours throughout the week, right? So, extending the amount of work days you have, but less work hours for each day? Or is it just more? Is it just now you work 48 hours a week? Yeah, I don't know. It's strange. It's the first of its kind rules to try and boost the Greek economy, which is only recently we had to rebound from a decade long slump.

I will say, being in Corfu, I did bring with me, like, two thousand euros, because I had to pay for the hotel in cash, I had to pay for like, everything in cash, it's kinda crazy when... Why did you have to pay everything in cash? Well, because the people prefer it, because they don't like to trust the banks. Oh, they don't have to pay the fees, the bank fees. I mean, they also could possibly not have to pay tax. Yes, they're also potentially laundering the money.

I mean, that's one of the reasons they're so in the shit, is they just hate paying tax in Greece. They really do. They really do. So, it's kind of a problem. And finally, AI prison tech sees inmates serving out sentences in just minutes. Oh, this is like the Black Mirror episode. White Christmas this episode was called.

I accidentally stole it for the Bodega book, where you give someone... Someone can experience hundreds of years or thousands of years in just a minute. You just plug them into this box and they brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Like, a fucking machine that implants memories in there that they've been in prison for years. Honestly, I don't even know how this could possibly work. It just seems like bullshit. So, this is bullshit. I like how we've gone from, like, lethal injection to this. Just keep the lethal injection.

Just kill him. No, I'm just joking. It's just kill him. Just joking. It's not real. I mean, that just sounds terrifying. Maybe it's meant as a deterrent, you know? Like another deterrent. Don't get involved in crime. We're gonna implant some torture chip into your brain.

I don't lose any time. Like yes, I had these experiences, or maybe even virtually, you implant that time in my brain, but I come out and I still have my life. Like, I don't come out and think I wasted 20 years. But you're all fucked up after your experiences though, right? Like you're probably traumatized a little. I guess, but you're not, you would have all those things in prison anyway. Like, it would be like all the bad stuff of prison, minus the fact that you are off the streets

and have presumably suffered some, y'know, 20 years to 30 years in prison for your terrible crime. And so you've paid a genuine price. Your life, which is the most precious thing you've got, is the time that you have on the planet. Now it's like, you get all that back, but you've got these bad memories! It's like, that is not as bad! Okay, but there's bad memories, but what if the memories are like, a hundred years of

being fresh meat, you know what I mean? That's bad. That'll be really bad. I'm not saying that that's... Make you awful. I mean, first of all, this isn't real. And no one's actually doing it. Yeah, yeah. Can you just, can I just come up, can I just watch an episode of Black Mirror and then

say, oh, do you know what, I've come up with an idea. When you die you put your brain in a machine. And everyone's like, wow, Lewis is genius. He's come up with this amazing idea for science. AI is the future. This is the future. Shut the fuck up. You can't just watch a sci-fi thing and then say you invented it, and then it's real.

Cunts. ALICE I invented the holodeck, and uh... I invite you all to experience one night of passion with Deanna Troi in the holodeck, I've got it all programmed up, ready to go. If you, uh... DARREN Can't wait. Can't wait. I invented it. ALICE I'll kickstart that. For a dollar. Anyway, that to go. If you, uh... Can't wait. Yeah.

Can't wait. I invented it. I, uh... Kickstart that. For a dollar. Any... That's it. Thank you everyone.

We'll see you next time. That is it. Goodbye! Bye! Goodbye!