Triforce! - Triforce #316: Send the Big Boys in

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Triforce! Episode 316! Lewis goes on a "cool dude" retreat to play board games, we all receive some very obvious spam calls and emails, we revisit Yogs Quest with some classic D&D stories and we tell some very cringe stories with behind-the-scenes of the Yogscast and Triforce! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. Okay, flights on air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris. Those gardens. Gardens. Um, Amsterdam. Tulip Festival. I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom.

Book it. Um, how did we get to Thailand from Prague? Colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Bucket. How did we get to Thailand from Prague? Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations, if you can. Air Canada.

Nice travels. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce Podcast, regular style. Regular style. That's right, inferior as some people... What? No one said that. I'm only joking. Okay. I've been up to something interesting this week.

Can we get? He is so excited, like he cannot even hold himself back. Yeah, he's literally running, sweating, very happy to tell us about his... I went on a board game retreat. You don't want to guess. I was gonna say let us guess! You don't want to guess. I love to guess.

Editor, can I say what sounds like I'm a genius? Did you go on a board game retreat? Wow, god, well guessed. I can't believe you... How did you know? I'm just a genius. But the thing is, the audience wouldn't be impressed, because they understand that we do talk to each other, and have a vague knowledge of what each of us is doing, and send pictures

to each other sometimes. That's true. There were twelve of us, we rented an AirBnB in Hereford, just like that. Twelve of the coolest dudes, ready to spend a weekend playing board games. Oh my god. There kinda was cool dudes, I felt like I was in cool dude company. Well, that immediately red flag right there. They were nice, nice, nice people.

I have no doubt. Most of these are content creators and stuff. If you're the coolest dude in the room, maybe you're in the wrong room. Wow. And we had Dog as well. It was a bit of a nightmare journey because I was like, oh, can you just give me a lift? To my friend, was like, oh sure, there's room. And of course when you've, he's got a small little car, like a VW bug thing and it's like four of us plus the dog, plus our luggage, plus all the board games, plus the food. It was like, it was like two hours of driving with me having stuff on my lap and stuff everywhere. I couldn't move. That's how full the car was.

It was insanity. Yeah. That's not fun when you're jammed in like that. It really is... Oh, good thing I didn't have claustrophobia, because I was like... I could handle it, but it was insane. You know, if the car had had a crash, they'd have been digging through stuff to get me out there. It's mental. And we rented a nice farmhouse, where everyone parked up, and they just got started straight away playing board games. Like it was,

Did anything crazy happen? Like did, were there some like great like table flips, people just losing their minds? Not really. My horse fell into a bog. Fuck this. The table flips and all the pieces go flying everywhere. Well, when you rent a place like this, it's usually sort of 12, it sleeps 12, but two of them are in the lounge, two of them are in the, you know, camp beds or whatever, you

know. You guys slept? Yeah, we stayed there for like three nights. You guys just sort of stayed up like the whole time, just going crazy, like pounding back energy drinks and playing board games. Some people were doing that, yes. But I went to bed at like midnight, because I'm on a reasonably decent schedule. But of course, no one else did.

And so they were all up till two or three in the morning, you know, making noise while I'm like, they're like, did you have to see them a couple of times? You come down and say, could you guys keep it down? Please? Some of us are trying to sleep. No, I just I just put my earphones in and I was like, fine. But it was good. There was one moment I wanted to tell you about that was a bit weird, just because I thought it would be interesting

to share this story. Okay. No, please. You don't need to set it up. You just tell us. We're here to listen, baby. So we're playing this game, we're in the middle of a game and the girl across from me gets a phone call and she goes like white. Okay. And she stands up and she's like, oh my god. Okay. Okay. And so she steps away for a like, oh my God, okay, okay. And so she like, she steps away for a second and like is chatting on the phone like quite like kind of seriously. Anyway, she makes a phone call and then like starts laughing. And I'm like, okay, what's going on? And so basically she

received a phone call from her mother saying that her sister had been kidnapped. Oh, Jesus. Was being held hostage. Jesus Christ. And so her mother was like, I don't know what to do. We've received a focal from them. They want this amount of money delivered to this place. Sorry, is this, this is a thing that actually happened? This isn't a joke.

So this is a thing that happened to me. Yes. This is insane. All right, go on. Well, that didn't happen to you. Well, no, this is the thing. I'm telling you what happened. It was proximate.

Right. So there, when this was happening to somebody else who was kidnapped. Very good alibi, Lewis. Very good alibi. So, hang on. So, okay. I was in a car crash. I saw it happen safely from the side of the road.

She receives a phone call. She receives a phone call from her mom and dad who are freaking out. And she's like, you know, your sister's been kidnapped, she's been in hell hostage, we need to send some money, we don't know what to do, we don't know if she's, you know, we don't know if we need proof of life or all this stuff. They're going into all this weird stuff, right? You know.

A little finger off the left hand. That's what you need. Oh my God. Exactly. And so she, obviously, as a very smart woman and board gamer, is like, have you tried calling her? And the parents are like, no. And so she's like, let me do that.

So she called her sister, and her sister picks up, and she's like, if you've been kidnapped? And she's like, no. And it's like, okay. It's a scam then. Okay, let's call my parents back and reassure them that it's a scam. So she calls her parents back, tells them that the sister's fine, you know has been kidnapped. Are you open to that? I've never had a scam like that before. Who, how, how is that? How does it? Well, here's the thing. How does one receive such a scam? That is an insane scam. Well, but apparently though, they must have a lot of malware on their

computer or something. I don't know what's going on. So here's the thing, apparently they played some of her voice down the phone. Either it was like an AI thing, or like a fake thing, or like a muffle thing or whatever. I don't know whether this is a common scam or like a new one. I've not heard it. But you know. How did they get her voice? They absolutely like fell for it. Do you know what it is?

Do you know what I bet it is? They had already like almost sent the money as well, their first installment of the money they wanted. The thing is, there's all these apps, if you think about it, there are tons and tons of apps that say you have to give us permission to access your microphone and your speaker and all the rest of it. So you could easily have an app that just hoovers up people's voices and it'll say like, please give us access to your contact information. And then that app developer automatically can

have a recording of your voice. And most people save their parents as mum or dad. So you just see mum and dad, you call them, play back a sample of the voice that you've recorded through this dog shit scammy app. Bingo bango. You've got a, you've got a potential payoff. Maybe that's what's happening in America right now with like all the, you know, they're gathering all the data and the AI hello, Elon, I would like resigned. Send it over. Trump is like, Oh, I've received a message. I got a message. It said there was a ransom. Dear Mr. President, would like to resign.

Oh, I've had a thought. Can you do you want to start Craigbot just in case? Yeah, my computer has been really, it's been crashing a lot recently. I have blue screen twice in the last week. I think it's a Windows update. Yeah, I think it's with, are you guys using Nvidia graphics cards? Yeah. Yeah.

I get, I have this thing where, um, I mean, we can talk about this on the podcast. It's probably kind of interesting. Um, I've been having this issue where every once in a while, like yesterday it happened four times. Sometimes it, it never, it doesn't happen and other times it just happens all the time. Yesterday, I was trying to stream. I was trying to do stuff. It happened like four times. My monitors like turn off and then my, the fans on my graphics card just go full speed.

But I have to just hard turn off my computer and turn it back on again. It's so annoying. Ooh, I got a similar thing. It's almost always that there's been some driver update and it's like Windows and whatever the driver is are not cooperating properly. Cause I've had this before where I'll update my graphics drivers and my computer starts fucking up and crashing and being shit. Yeah. And then two weeks later, it's magically fixed.

Yeah. And it's like there was some windows up there, some some other update. I definitely had, but definitely a couple of windows updates recently. But what I did yesterday was I uninstalled all my graphics drivers and and reinstalled them. And it seems more stable. Touchwood hasn't crashed since. But who fucking knows? Yeah, I know. At the same time, you know, like, jeez. Yeah. So there we go.

Oh, here. I wanted to read you guys this from the previous episode. I always like to read the comments on the Triforce and and read what the. Where are you reading these comments? YouTube. OK, because I mean, people comment on the fact sometimes that we don't you reading these comments? YouTube. Oh, okay. Because, I mean, people comment on the fact sometimes that we don't get as many views on YouTube as we used to, but I think a lot of those views are, first of all, I don't think we used to upload to as many podcast platforms. I feel like a lot of our people listening are doing it through Spotify and stuff now.

Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Apple podcasts and all the rest. I mean, we upload it to these platforms for convenience. Oh, 100% yeah. And Apple podcasts and all the rest of it. We upload it to these platforms for convenience. We don't prefer Spotify, I think they don't pay us, they don't give us anything extra for it, it's not like we're getting anything out of it, we just provide it because it makes it easier.

Some people actually do prefer to listen on YouTube, because they have whatever premium and it can play in the background and it's just convenient. So, it's entire, there's no reason for it. Yeah, we boss it on a bunch of platforms. So this guy commented, Pflux talks a lot of shit considering he lives in a slug mansion and makes his dog eat out of a bowl of slugs. Nice.

Holy crap, the secret's out. How did he know? I have had multiple crazy, the secret's out. How did he know? I have had multiple crazy, legit crazy emails lately. I've had three. They come along in groups. I don't want to really talk about them because... Don't name any names please. I'm not gonna name any names, but I've had a couple of emails just from... that don't make any sense. They start off sounding like a fairly normal amy, but then they take a right turn, almost like, and start talking about something completely

else-wise. Really weird. Yeah, I've had some really weird ones too recently. Like, I got one the other day, and it was like, dear Mr. Lovis, this is our final warning, you must pay your taxes. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? Taxes? You are living in a communist country? This is a fucking tax haven. I mean, come on.

I thought Donald Trump was president! I haven't had any weird emails, luckily. Um, I am not with you guys on this one. It's been all quiet on the western, Eastern, Northern and Southern front for me. Nothing. I've had a lot of weird emails and I, it's not that like, I think they just come along and maybe I always get weird emails. I obviously always get the emails from people who purport to be fans, and maybe are fans, and write in, or at least have heard of us, and are working for some marketing agency now where they say, we can grow your KPIs 10% using this website integration

business SEO optimization for YargCast. It's constant. Like businessy sounding emails that provide any number of service. That's the thing. It's like, it's a crapshoot. They will provide, the first one they provide financial services. The second one is they'll provide this service that your business isn't doing, you know, and they go through, and I wonder if they are just looking to hit that coincidence where you're like, oh, I was meaning to sort out that. And there's an email from a guy who appears to be a fan. Like, you know, it's kind of, but it's not quite...

You have to have a really strict filter. More strict than ever these days. It's a crazy internet out there now, isn't it? The one that annoyed me, I emailed the guy back. He emailed me and said, hey, Peatlax, thanks for responding to my previous message. I'm ready to push ahead with this now. Call me when you can. And I looked and I'd never had an email from this guy before.

And I replied and said, you must know that we've this is our first time ever communicating. Why would you open with a lie? And he goes, oh, just trying to get your attention. Can you talk now? I was like, no, fuck off. Like, how fucking dare you make out that trying to confuse an old man into thinking he's forgotten the conversation. This poor old man is easy to trick. Yeah, leave the old man.

You've got my wife held hostage. Oh my God. I'll give you my credit card details. Whatever you need. Oh my God. Come and air Mrs. Flax. You're being held hostage. Dad, this is Susan.

I have been kidnapped. Oh my God, Susan. This rattle snake. It's kidnapped Susan. Hold on, wait a minute. The ultimate confused old man. Yeah, man. Talking about race, so talking about old men, I was watching some old war movies on YouTube. Yeah.

Which one? Oh, just like clips from a whole bunch of them. Oh, okay. There's a channel like I clicked one video and all of a sudden now I've got a bunch. You know how it is. So I was looking at them and it says war movies made in like the 50s and the 60s. A lot of the guys in these films were actually in the war. Yeah. And I thought it's kind of wild to think that you're making a movie about the horrors of war.

There was no thought of PTSD or trauma or anything like that. These guys were just straight back out there pretending to bayonet people. But it was a different time. These guys were just straight back out there pretending to bayonet people, but they must be thinking, this isn't how we did it. But if you look at the way that they run and shoot and act, you can tell that they actually know what they're fucking doing. In the 70s and 80s, the people that were in war movies didn't look anything like, apart from there were some Vietnam veterans, but I don't think they made war movies very much. I know Oliver Stone was in Nam, and then made Platoon. But if you look at something like Full Metal Jacket,

I don't think anyone in that apart from Ali Ermi was actually a veteran. No. But they do have, I think some of those movies had basically like, you know, people who were military or were in a war and they were like, Advises? Yeah, like advising. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like trying to keep it, keep it real. Like, or somewhat, you know.

Oh, 100%. But the thing is, I feel like if you watch a movie with, like, I know a lot of people say there's a series called Generation Kill, which is, I think it's an HBO series. Yeah, that's David Simon. He did The Wired as well. Right. That was his next project. So it's about Iraq, the invasion of Iraq. And apparently, certainly for American servicemen

who've spoken about it, that's the most realistic version of what it was like being there. And I feel like a lot of war movies, especially when it's done with actors who've never been anywhere near anything, and it's written by people who are just like fantasists rather than actual people who know what they're talking about. Is their view of war is completely different. If you watch Generation Kill, there's a lot of people just fucking about being bored. Some of them are insane. They're really not that troubled by what they're doing.

And you know, they're more pissed off with the madness of this, how this all hangs together. And I thought it's funny to think that those classic war movies in the 50s, the post-war generation that made loads of fucking war movies, I mean there's tons. There are tons and tons and tons of them. Some of them were meant to be kind of like propaganda things as well though. They were meant to boost. Yeah, but after the war you didn't need it. Well, I think it boosted a lot of like spirits and cohesion and stuff like that.

Like, look at us, we won, we're the best, you know? I think there was some importance in some of that as well. Yeah, maybe. They're different movies. They're different types of movies. They should almost be in their own category, they're completely different. Well, they're bad at showing the real age of the actual soldiers, right? Because a lot of the soldiers are very young.

And war movies, certainly those filmed in the 50s and 60s, that used real soldiers, they were in their 40s by then. And as a result, it's like, that's the picture you get. You get a picture of a war veteran as a 40 year old man, when actually it's a 20 year old. A 22 year old man. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's the thing, generation kill, they were all very young. Pretty much everyone in it looked like just a big kid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing, generation kill, they were all very young. Pretty much everyone in it looked like just a big kid. Yeah. That's exactly, yeah. And that's why, that's more, I think, realistic. And I don't think... But again, it's a Hollywood thing where viewers expect them to be old, because that's what they've been culturally grounded with.

Yeah, you expect like 40 year old Tom Sizemore, like as you're, you know, that's what every soldier looks like. But yeah, you're right. It's kids, you know, they're, they are, they are young, young kids. I mean, I think that's what, um, uh, black hook down did very well was give the, the idea that these are, these are just boys. They're not like men. They're just large boys being sent out to fight.

We're sending our large boys out this time. I'm the biggest boys. The biggest boys you can find and slap some guns on them and send them out. These boys aren't big enough. We're playing with boys. We're big boys. That's why we're getting our asses kicked. If there's any huge women out there, get them too.

So another thing I was thinking about, I watched a video about the history of Dungeons and Dragons a little bit. I didn't, I didn't. Oh yeah. And I was just seeing those guys. I want you to close your eyes. Okay, Lewis, I know you have, what is it, aphantasia or whatever, so you can't imagine stuff. You can keep your eyes open. Make notes if you need to. I want you to imagine a story set

in the 1970s, early to mid 1970s, and a bunch of guys are at college and they invent something like Dungeons and Dragons, right? This is not the case. I just want you to imagine that this setting. Now picture in your mind what those guys look like they're all Incredibly skinny. They've got like weird 70s haircuts Yeah, like those massive guys from the Big Bang Theory pretty much Well, just just do a Google image search for Big Bang Theory and you'll see a bunch of people who look like they're from the 70s But I'm pretty sure the show takes place in like the 2000. No, they've got like red turtlenecks and like big,

mopping hairs and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So that kind of stuff. But they're like that 1970s skinny guy. Some of them have mustaches and they're like grinning huge glasses, like glasses that cover half of their face. Like D.J. Barlow glasses. Exactly. Sure. So that's those guys. And I was thinking the other day when you're like, I guess they were like 20 or whatever.

You're coming up with the different classes and and and stuff for the D&D. And there was no sort of template for thief, cleric, warrior, wizard, barbarian. No, it was all like loosely based around like Tolkien stuff, though, wasn't it? I guess so. It was kind of Tolkien. But Gandalf wasn't like a weak and feeble guy. He was strong and fought with his sword and went into battle. He gave the illusion of being a weak and feeble guy. But when the brown stuff hit the fan, he was ready to catch it all. But I just think it's funny that in that game, it's it's very hard to be strong and smart.

So if you want to be strong and big, you have to be stupid. And if you want to be intelligent, of course, you you're skinny and weak. And I just thought that was such a single minded way of seeing it. And it just made me think these guys were massive nerds their entire life. And they saw the jocks and everything like, well, they may be big, but they've only got eight intelligence, whereas I have 17 intelligence! They basically made themselves feel powerful by coming up with a way to be powerful without actually getting any girlfriends. That's the word, that was just a throwaway thought. Probably

not even worth bringing up. Yeah. Well, no, but you're right. Like, in a sense, it doesn't take much to get someone who is the Superman. Like that guy who was trained as a doctor and then went into the army and became a... I don't know, he fought in a war, then became a doctor and then also went into space as an astronaut or whatever. He did the whole thing, right? Right. Some legendary guy.

Like, oh, you could be like, I don't know, Simon Clarke. You can be good looking and have a PhD, and write a book, and- Sorry, I think you mean Doctor Simon Clarke. Doctor, exactly. And he's, you know, he's, he could, he's like a superhero, right? He could fight a war, he could shoot someone, I reckon, if he wanted to. You reckon he could shoot someone, in fairness? I don't know if he would be shooting someone. But, generally, a good specimen of a man, right?

Yeah, I think he would be more like the kind of guy who would do a good faith debate, you know? I think if he wanted to be a bodybuilder, he's the kind of guy who could make a little YouTube video and it would say, you know, look at my six month body transformation, where, you know, he put the... Because he's the kind of guy who I feel would go through with something like that, you know? And he'd get ripped if he wanted to, right? So, I think, in some sense, the strength thing could be done by anyone with good willpower. But I agree, it's a game though, Pflacx, right? You can't have... It's

sometimes in nature, things... you only have a certain amount of energy to put towards something. So like rats deliberately have bad teeth, right? Because if they had... What?! Yeah, yeah. They did a study, I'm sure I've talked about it, but... What, they deliberately don't brush, they don't floss... They don't do anything. No.

What's the benefit? So, rats deliberately have weak teeth, and the reason is that... More time to eat diapers than other crap on the ground. They bred rats with strong teeth, but it found that they were less likely to survive because they have, because the calcium that they had devoted to their teeth instead meant their bones were weaker or some reason. So there'll be, there's always a trade off, right? Every animal has like a limited pool of, like virus can only do, has only got a limited

amount of pool to do either really infectious or really deadly. Like not, I don't know, there's some, there's some sort of limits to what they can do, right? So in a sense, like there's this idea of, you know, antibiotic resistance as a very scary thing, but there's only so many things that a bacteria can be resistant to, right? Cause that takes a part of its energy to code that. It puts some points into it. Exactly. Right. So I feel like, and this could be bollocks, but I could be wrong. I feel

like that's, that's what they're trying to show in D and D. It's that, you know, you can't, you've got a limited amount of time. You know, if that guy is going to the gym every day, he's not reading books, is he? He's not studying spells. Is he? Also, I think it's all trade-offs to balance it. You can't have somebody that can do it all, because then everybody would just want to be the guy that can do it all. You wouldn't have any diversity. You're meant to do it in a group too, so everybody brings their strengths. So, you're meant to do it in a group too. So everybody brings their strengths.

You know? Yeah. I think it's also meant to lean down the kind of more extremes. You know, like, you're spent, you know, the characters are supposed to have had some sort of backstory where they've spent their entire time as an orphaned waif on the streets of the city and they've learned to blend into the shadows. You know, that's why they're able to... Do you like to hear the word waif?

That's an excellent word. into the shadows, you know, that's why they're able to... Do you like to hear the word WAFE? I feel like D&D is kind of like, I think like part of the charm of it and the appeal to some people is that you kind of make do, you know, it's not ideal. It's not always like, it's not always a hundred percent efficient and ideal. You just sort of, you roll with it, you know? You literally roll with it. You're right. And this is why you see a lot of these games also have downsides to characters. Characters come with weaknesses that you play with and are interesting.

Project Zomboid's character creation stuff is amazing for all that. People have figured it out and they're bound to. There's basically negative traits that cancel each other out and stuff. So you can get away with getting more positive traits. You can figure it out. But anyone can game the game, but that's not what it's supposed to be for. It's supposed to be for the... But some of the downsides just make for a great story. You're running, your guy is a chain smoker and has to smoke at least least once every hour and you forget to smoke before you're running away from a horde of zombies and it's like, oh

God I could really do a smoke here running for your life, you know? Like it just adds to the flavor I think, it's fun. Do you want to hear the definition of waif? Yeah. What is a waif to you? What do you think a waif is? It's like a, a fae little London girl who has got like a little torn dirty dress and it's like, yeah, you'd say waifs and strays. So it's like, I think it's just like impoverished people who just end up on, on the street,

but maybe before their time, you know, like they're really young. So, a waif from the old French, or gwaif, which means stray beast, is a person removed by hardship, loss or other helpless circumstance from their original surroundings. Right. The most common usage of the word is to designate a homeless, forsaken or orphaned child. Yes. Or someone whose appearance is evocative of the same as such. That one's landing and it's inbound from, um, Kuwait. No, it's leaving. Oh, it's leaving to Kuwait. It's landing.

That sounded like a landing. Let me check. Let me check. Let me check. That was a lander. No, that's taking off. Sorry. Come on. Come on. Heading to Kuala Lumpur. Oh, very nice. Yeah. I wish I was on that plane. Yeah. I wish you were too, you fuck. Yeah. Sorry. I don't mean that. Cause I wouldn't be at this podcast. I wouldn't have to see you next week when I come down.

Oh, that'll be good. That'll be good. You're doing a little D&D next week, aren't you? You're going to do a little mystery quest? Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. I'm planning to with Mr. Thomas Angory Tom Clark. It's definitely the hot ticket at the Yogs right now is to get invited to a mystery quest. Oh yeah.

I love it. It's great fun. It's the most, it's the most hot ticket item you can get if you get, all of us are like waiting in the wings for an invite to the exclusive club of cool people. It's funny how that is though, like Tom is the coolest guy and everyone wants to be his friend and it's funny how that happens. It wasn't always the case. Even when you're in your forties, going, it's still the same. It's like school.

You know? Tom is very cool. He's a lot of fun to hang out with. And he's just he's got a he's got a great demeanor of relaxation and chill. Yes. And I don't think I have seen Tom angry, but it's not often. I've made Tom angry occasionally. And he's just he's a guy that I like hanging out with and doing the games night stuff. I feel like he's an excellent DM. He really enjoys seeing where people go with stories and characters. And he's he's a great enabler as a DM. He really enjoys seeing where people go with stories and characters. And

he's a great enabler as a DM. He's not like some DMs who try to stamp themselves on the game and make it about them. And I'm not talking about anyone in the Yacht, I'm talking about DMs that everybody knows a DM like this. Tom is excellent at... I think I'm a bit like that. I think I was a bit of a bad DM and this is why I haven't really done much lately. Tolstoy's been doing it for years though and he knows how to keep everyone... Mark Humes is allegedly a good DM as well. Mark Humes is brilliant.

He is a very good DM. Yeah. Very, very good. Really good. They know what they're doing. I think it's hard to not be the main character because everyone is sort of forcing... With streamers as well. You know, with streamers and YouTubers. They're asking you... As the DM though, you are guiding people and a lot of questions come your way. You have to do all the NPCs, you have to set all the scenes, you have to answer a lot of

questions. And I think it's tricky to balance getting your players to the thing that you've prepared for them. But also making them feel like they're choosing the way to go. You know, it's... You know what the hardest thing, I think, certainly when I used to DM, is that I would have what I thought was a really cool story and a really fun interaction and adventure, and they're going the wrong way. Don't go left.

Why are you talking to that guy? You know, when you're trying to drive them towards this really good interaction. That's right. You set up this elaborate plan and this really cool character and this really cool story. And there's like a little slime with a face or whatever. And they like talk into the slime and they're like adopting the slime. How big is the slime? What colour is the slime? I'm going to try and feed the slime food. You're like, guys, the slime was just... And now, but now you're like, well, I can go in with the slime here because apparently they're obsessed with it. It's like that. And also, the very worst thing

is when you've set up, you just mentioned something in passing as like a piece of flavour for something in the room. And every single person in the party is hell bent on cracking what they think is this mysterious fireplace. It's just a fucking fireplace. Yeah. And they're like, oh, they're climbing up it. I know. I can never accept it. Like when they're like, no, no, honestly, it is just a fireplace. There's nothing special about it. But is there, you always have to keep pushing it because you never know, you know?

Yeah. But is there? You always have to keep pushing it, because you never know, you know? It's tricky as well, because there's usually, with Tom's ones, some sort of mystery at the core. Like some sort of twist, or some sort of secret. Mystery quest is the name of the game. It's very hard to... because you're trying to solve that, but you don't want to like... And Tom's trying to give you hints to it, but nothing to give it away. The last thing he wants to do is give away the twist too early, right? And so you are fumbling in the dark and sometimes you feel real stupid when

you realise what the twist is. You're like, oh God, we really should have noticed that. He gave us so many clues, you know? And sometimes you think you figured it out or you've figured it out like slightly wrong and you're convinced that's the answer. And then you think you've figured it out, or you've figured it out like, slightly wrong and you're convinced that's the answer. And then when you get the real one, you're just like, oh, I'm confused. Do you know what I mean? Because then it's like, it's almost like an alternate explanation that does work, but isn't the truth. Right? And so, and that leads you to make these odd choices in the game, which get your character killed or something. And that could be quite frustrating. Yeah.

So I think it's hard to... I remember the first D&D adventure I ever did, Lulu. And my friend's older brother, he DM'd, he did Dungeons and Dragons with his friends. He was like four or five years older than us. And he agreed to dungeon master for us after we begged him for like weeks. Because we would just make characters. We'd just make characters all day long. Making an equipment character, making an equipment characters, making equipment characters. We really wanted to fucking play. He was like, fine. And he had this adventure and we were exploring this little ruined sort of few houses, little ruined village. And

there was there was a fireplace, which is why this jumped to mind. And we were like, he told us he's like, and there's a burned out fireplace here. And we look in the fireplace and we're like, is there any treasure in the fireplace? Because no, it's a burned out old fireplace. So I'm like, I'm going to look up the chimney and see if I can see anything. He's like, you can't see anything. It appears to be blocked. So me and my friend are like, oh, there's going to be treasure up there. So I get my sword, I poke around up there and he's like sighs and rolls some dice.

It's like, right. Yeah. All this stuff, the debris in the chimney falls down and you take this much damage and he killed my character. Well, this is one of the things that happened in the first... I remember, I was very embarrassed about it at the time. We were doing the first Yogs Quest, which Tom wrote and planned for me and I DM'd it. Which one was the very first one? Was that the one that we did in the pub? It was one where you were in it, yeah, in the pub. And I remember something happened and I killed one of you.

Did you? Yeah. And Tom was like, no, no, no, no, no. Someone had done something stupid and I rolled some dice and I was like, you're dead. And your character's dead. And Tom came up to me and was like, no, no, no, no. Do you know what I mean? He like, he like interrupted.

I was like, don't do that. Like, that's not how you do this kind of thing. Because I really didn't know what I was doing and I was like, um, kind of bad, honestly. God, those were so long ago. I think it was either because you were frustrating me or you were pissing me off or whatever. Who, me? Like you guys were characters. One of you. You were very annoying. Geez, thanks.

Yeah. I think I might have killed you, actually, Sips. I don't remember dying, but maybe. Was it on the space one? Maybe it was on the... JogsQuest 2, the space one, where I shot you. You looked out the window of a spaceship or something. I did three. I did the one in the pub, I did the spaceship one, because I remember being really sick,

and it was the night before we were going to BlizzCon for maybe the first time, I'm not sure. And then the third one I did was the, remember we used to rent that little set warehouse place that had like the slopey wall? Did the prison zombie apocalypse prison one. Oh god, yeah, I forgot about that one. That was a... Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, we used to do those. Yeah, we used to do all the games night stuff there too. Remember we used to play like Snake Boy. Yeah, we used to play Fun Employed and stuff. Yeah, that was real fun. It was. Well, I mean, that was at the old office.

That was a long time ago. That was very long ago. It's funny, it's funny the embarrassing moments that you remember, that everyone else has probably forgotten, but I, you know, at the time I remember, you know, being really sort of red- faced at how... God, for me there's just been so many, I just don't even think I can feel embarrassed anymore. You get these, I get these all the time. Like, I get, you get, sometimes you get a memory triggered about something really embarrassing you did when you were a kid, or when you were

in school, you know, and you're just thinking, oh fuck, God. And you like, almost like cringe in real life about how awkward you were. They stick with you those moments. You get more of those as you get older, unfortunately. Alright, give me a... Let's all think of an embarrassing moment. Like a really embarrassing moment. That wasn't something awful, but something that'll occasionally come back to you and

you just cringe thinking about it. Oh God, I have so many. I have so, so, so many. I couldn't even pick one. ALICE There was this bit where I was at a restaurant and there was a girl there who I was sitting next to and she was, I think we were, you know, I was kind of into her, I was single at the time, and... ALICE Wait, how old were you in this? ALICE Oh, like 29, 30, I'm gonna say.

This is after, this is during Yogs. This is like ten years ago. This is PY. This is PY. Post Yogs. ALICE This is like post Yogs. This is like I should know better. And we'd be chatting about what to order, and I sort of ordered a thing, and then I

said, I pointed to this girl and I said, oh, we'll share. And she looked at me like, uh, like I'd made the decision for her. And I was like, instantly I was like mortified because she kind of, she just sort of, you know, suddenly like, I'm like pushing this on, onto her. And it just like, it made it like really awkward because I wasn't sure. I was like, oh God. And I didn't want to go like, Oh God, sorry. No, maybe we don't share. Sorry. Like dig a hole. I just kind of rolled with it, but felt like I'd really put my foot in it. And I think about how that from time to time, I remember we were walking away from the restaurant afterwards with everyone as a group and she was like, obviously trying to like distance herself from me. I remember she was like, Oh, I'm

going to, I'm going to have to get a cab. And everyone was like, bye bye bye. And I was like, Oh, bye. And I sort of waved to her and she looked at me like one passing glance at me over her shoulder. She was just like, I don't want to see you again. Kind of thing. That was like in her eyes. Um, that was like, Oh, cringe. There was some other, there was some other cringe things, you know, just that we happened to mention. Like I was like, Oh, um, do you want to, like, I did want to, I think I was like, I said something along the lines of like, Oh, how, how do you, do you want to, like, do you have a, do you have a Twitter account or whatever? And she's like, Oh no, I don't use Twitter. And I was like, Oh, okay. Uh, steam?

I was trying to get her number in a way that was like not awkward. The nerds wanted to get a girl's number. What's your old friend ID on Blizzard? I'm just full of like cringe moments from that. They stick with you, right? And obviously she's probably forgotten about this, I'm sure. I wonder if she has, that would be funny to get her side of it. I'm sure she remembers cringier moments from that I've forgotten.

I think everybody's got them though. I mean, your journey from being a baby to like for us being, you know, in our forties, you, you know, close, getting close to fifties, God, there's, there's a whole wake of cringe moments behind all of us. I'm sure, you know, like, I don't think anyone knows what they're doing precisely at any really given point, you know, you, you figure it out and the process of figuring it out is you make some, some pretty big mistakes along the way. Not, hopefully not huge ones, but certainly ones that you look back on. You're like, oh my God, I can't believe like I said that or I did that or I thought that, you know, like it's, it's an

evolution. I remember one of the, one of the worst sort of cringy moments that I can think of was, was me giving my speech on my wedding day. Like when the groom has to stand up and you have to thank a certain group of people, that's like traditional. You thank, I think, the mother of the bride for the flowers or something like that. Like there's just various people that you thank. Yeah. And then you give a little speech and you crack on. And I did my, I was so scared of speaking in front of like even two people at that point.

I was very, very shy and standing up in front of all those people, I could just feel the sweat beating on my forehead instantly and I could barely speak. I think I spoke for about 30 seconds at like a ridiculous pace trying to get it over with and as soon as it was done I just sat down. Absolutely the worst fucking marriage speech ever. It was embarrassing. That is really relatable. I'm exactly the same. Going out, every time I have to go out in front of anyone, even the groups here, and even after doing this for all this time, every time, even before the... I still get it a lot before the first

Jingle Jam stream. Like every year before the Jaffa Factory stream. My heart is like pounding. I'm like really nervous. Like going out at YodCon on stage every time, I would be absolutely shitting myself. Yeah, I think everybody was nervous at YodCon really. I know that a lot of people that you think would be fine being in a live audience, it is really different. I mean that a lot of people that you think would be fine, being in a live audience, it is really different. I mean, because I've done it a lot with Dota and stuff, you do get used to it. And you get into a mindset of, you don't really think about where you are and what you're doing. So you almost ignore the fact that you're standing on a stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people. And that there might be tens or thousands of people and that there might be

tens of thousands of people watching you just ignore all that. That's not happening. You're just saying things and it's almost like you're watching from you. Have you ever seen being John Malkovich? Yeah, I don't remember that movie at all though. Okay. Well, when he's being John Malkovich, he's just sort of behind John Malkovich's eyes and watching what John Malkovich is doing and saying. And that's what it's like for me when I'm speaking on stage. Oh my god, me too. Yeah. I'm not me. I'm watching me say and do these things.

Somehow, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this as well. You practice your lines, you practice things you want to say so much, and then you just hope that the autopilot says them. Yeah, the autopilot threw it. Because there's no, like, and I think, do you know what? I think this is why we're always slightly late to live streams and things like this, right? Not generally. Oh no, I don't think that's. Okay. Well, here's the thing. I think we're just a fucking tardy bunch of idiots, to be honest with you.

Well, I think sometimes when I... I get tardier the further I go in life as well. I just... If I'm early to a live stream, right? And I'm sat there, or I'm backstage, I'm sat there for five minutes. They're like, yep, five minute warning, five minute warning, four minutes, three minutes, and I've got nothing to do. There's no one there.

We're not chatting. We're not having fun. I'm just like thinking, I'm getting in my head. It gets worse and worse and worse, right? And so I think that's why it's easier for me to turn up on time and go live straight away. Like oftentimes, our people will turn up exactly at the time the live stream starts. Like Duncan, Lydia, Ben, they will arrive in the office a minute before five o'clock.

Or they will aim to arrive in the office. And if there's any traffic, they're five minutes late. I like to get places like a little bit early. Not like, not like, not like an hour early, but like five, 10 minutes just to like. Part of it is because though, I think that they avoid the discomfort of being there early and having to wait for the start. See for me, it's more like I just want to acclimatize. Like I've just been outside. So I just need to get used to being inside.

You know, like, you know, when you come in from the outside and your face is all fucking red and you're like, right, right, right, right. Panting because you've, you know, you've been exerting yourself and stuff. I just need like a minute to just sit down and compose myself. I fucking hate being late. I don't, I don't think I'm late. Generally it's a very good reason if I'm late. If someone's like, we need you there at ten, I'm there.

I'm usually pretty good for time. Like very occasionally I'll be late, but it'll always be a reason. It wouldn't be like, I accidentally slept in or something. You're not talking about the Triforce podcast here, are you? Well that, I mean, I know, but I think it's like, I think it's, it's kind of accepted now that one of us is going to be running five or 10 minutes late. It's never like that. We're all at home.

It's not like I'm meeting you at a place and waiting for you. This is another thing, my kids are all small still though too. I still have a lot of shit to do. You can't be like, I'll be there at ten! It's like, well, we'll see. We talk about this a lot, and I think it's, this is a symptom of trifles, we almost always start at five or ten past ten, we don't always start on the hour when we record, right? And I think it's almost because we all know that we're all gonna plan to be here at ten,

but something's gonna come up, right? And as a result, we end up actually very consistently starting within 10 minutes. It's actually the same with our main channel recordings. We aim to start at 11, but we tell people to turn up at... No. So I get there at 10.30 and I'm ready to go and there's always someone, So I can get there at 10.30 and I'm ready to go. And there's always someone, Duncan, who turns up ridiculously late and warns him like, hello, and hasn't set anything up and needs help with the... It drives me mad. It drives me mad.

It's not always Duncan. It's always, it's usually someone, I think it's when we have these recordings with eight to 10 people, as we have been done recently, someone's got some problem with their drivers. Big group recordings are always a nightmare. Their recording goes wrong. And it's, or someone's going to be late. And we usually try and have a substitute, but we don't always. And so we are very consistent for what we do. And I've, I can either be seeing it in my head, I say arrive at 10.30, that's when I will expect people to turn up, but I really in my head know that we're not going to start until 11.

And then if it starts getting to like quarter past 11 and we haven't started, then I'm going to get pissed off. Like the other day, I actually was really embarrassing. We did this recording with No Rolls Barred, right? And one of them, they're lovely, brilliant, funny, awesome guys, by the way, but they're not regular content creators. And so neither of them have a streaming computer or streaming PC. What? They have a streaming table?

Neither of them have a streaming table. We should get them streaming tables. Come to Grosvedov Casino and Bar, they can stream from here. Stream from table. we have Table. Stream from Table. So we, neither of them had computers, God bless them. Neither of them had Minecraft accounts, God bless them. So we got them set up with Minecraft accounts and... Wait, they sound like normal, well-rounded people.

They are. They are, genuinely they are. And of course, they come into this nonsense, which is our recording server with 10 people yelling over each other, you know, and they're trying to get set up. Anyway, it gets to this point where we've, one of them's working fine and the other one we couldn't, we just could not get Parsec working. We couldn't get him to join in any way. So I said to Silas, because we were half an hour over the time limit, I was like, Silas dude, just, you've got to sort this out. We are like running, we're never going to, we have

to just do something now. And he was like, and the problem is I broadcast that to everyone by accident. So me telling Paul Zylas off, went to everyone for a start, which I felt terrible about. And then the second thing was like, I was like, you'll just have to be a surrogate for him, right? You're going to have to do the moving in the game and he's going to tell you what you're going to have to play his character. So he was like a blank, like a fucking blank doll. And the guy was telling him everything to do.

And so it's like, say this to this person, you walk over here. It was, it was kind of fine and funny, but like, I just felt like it was such a cack-handed solution to like, dealing with a problem. It was like, you know, it was like, you know, we are like a group of problem solvers though. And so it's like, we want to get this guy to play with us in Minecraft, but he doesn't have Minecraft. So we'll get him there. So then he doesn't have this. So we get in this and then he can't do this. So then we do this. And it's like the solutions just pile up and pile up because Nick and, Nick and Zylus were like behind the scenes. Like Nick's like, Oh, I

can code this thing, which will send his voice through virtual audio cable. I'm just like, that's not how Nick talks. I can code this thing for you right now. He's a good cut this Lewis isn't he? I'll fucking knock that up for you, Lewis. In Minecraft. Minecraft. God love him. We've honestly had a great, great time lately with the recordings. We've been playing lots of different games. We've been sending lots of people off to different places. We've been-

Look, um, when we did the Blood on the Clock Tower, people hated my performance in Blood on the Clock Tower so much. Did they? The Clock Tower so much. Did they? The comments were so bad. Perion is a fucking idiot. Perion is ruining this. Watching Perion fumble around and lead everyone down the wrong path is killing me. I'm so bad at those games.

It makes such good viewing though. No, people hate it. It's hard when there's like an established group and you come in as a guest though. It's always tough because people are used to it being a certain way and then if you come in and you don't know the game or you play differently or whatever, you'll always get people that are like, oh this guy is ruining it. You've got to appreciate, this always happens with Yogs. If there's a game that comes out that's actually any good, everyone plays it to death before

we can get a video out, right? And that doesn't really help, because a lot of times, it means that, this kind of happened when we were on the clock tower, we got a group of Discord friends who play it in the evenings and they've played 500 games with each other? Do you know what I mean? They've played so many games. And so as a result, it's kind of like, you are coming into, you've played five games, you know, you're coming into a group of people who are way more experienced.

And so I think that that is the comparison. Not that you're bad, it's just that everyone else is more clued up. And to be quite honest, it's quite hard because we do do a quite advanced script for these people. And I tend to give newer players an easier role like a generic bad guy or a generic good guy. Like I'm not going to give them something which is insane. Although I did give you a more complicated role to be fair to you, because I thought it would be funny. I thought, you know, making you this confused role and seeing your confusion would be funny. And it was. Like, I think we are at the end of the day making content and I think that having a dad bumble around not realising what's going on is perfect. Your role was

to cause confusion and you did. And I think that people saying like, oh, he played his role wrong. It's like, well, he was given a, deliberately given the role to cause confusion. Like that's how this game works. I was the most confused person in the whole game! Is the name. I know. But I love that game, and I love these games that we play with. They are very inclusive. Yeah.

They're very chill. Speaking of co-op games, if you guys are ever looking to do a fun two player co-op game, that's Split Fiction is out. It's really good. It's like ten hours. Oh yeah, that's like a professional you made. It's like, imagine, you know, like portal to co-op, you know, like, uh, it's, it's just like, like fun little problem solving success of it takes to loads

of like cool, like, um, uh, mechanics and stuff. Like the game, the game is like 50 games in one sort of thing. It's really fun. It's, it's worth the play through. If you have somebody that you can play it with. There's an absolute monster about to go over. Listen to this fucker brewing up. Can you hear that? Is that a 380? Is that like a real? That's a fucking 380. You can hear it. It just sounds like is the intake. I'm surprised you haven't like flown out of your the roof of your house.

Just get sucked into the sky. Yeah. Okay. If that's an A380 and it's just taken off that bad boy is heading to like Hong Kong or something. Well, reasonably close Singapore. Okay. Oh, that was that second guess.

Yeah. Yeah. But I wish I was on that. I've been to Singapore. I went a couple years ago. Would you recommend the same comment? Oh, Singapore was beautiful. Yeah. But I wish I was on that. I've been to Singapore. I went a couple years ago. Would you recommend the same comment? Oh, Singapore was beautiful. Okay, have you ever been to Edinburgh before?

Yeah, yeah. Is it worth going? Oh, god, yeah. Beautiful. What about Glasgow? No. I've not been to Glasgow. Well, I did when I was very much younger, but we were just travelling through.

Okay. Ask Ravs about it. Yeah, well, Ravs, I know- You don't want to go to Glasgow! No, no, Ravs would say that it's better than Edinburgh, because he's from there, right? Edinburgh shake. Well, he would say that, but then if you ask him, should you go, which one should you go to, he might have a different answer.

Right, okay. Because he likes you. Okay, so, and then what about Dublin? There's patriotism and then there's the chance of getting your friends stabbed. Do you like heroin? If so, go to Glasgow. What about Dublin then? What about Belfast? Do you think those are places? So, my mate lived in Belfast for a year, and I think Mrs. F's been there. It's okay, it's

quite a depressing place, because it's quite concrete-y and rundown, from my experience anyway, from what people have told me, it's not a particularly pretty city. Apologies to anyone from Belfast who's appalled by that comment, I'm sorry. Dublin is much prettier. Dublin is really, really lovely. I think Dublin's very nice. I have lived in the British Isles for over twenty years, and I have never been to Scotland,

I've never been to Wales, and I've never been to Scotland, I've never been to Wales, and I've never been to Ireland. I mean, you've probably never been to the end of your road. You don't leave the house. I've been to the end of my road, okay? Which ends? Both sides, yes. Okay, fair enough.

I had been. Both sides? Yeah, both ends. Is there a bit of your road that you've never walked on? Yeah, because the road that I live on kind of twists up, it heads like deep into the countryside eventually and twists around and stuff. So I don't know if I ever have been to the far end of my road. I think I probably have.

One end definitely ends and then the other end, the other one just goes like forever across the whole island. I remember one time I came to the island, I cycled around the whole island. This was when I was into cycling and I feel like I explored more of the island in one day than Sips has in the 20 years. I don't know. You'd be surprised. I haven't been around on a bike, but I have driven down some, uh, some, some pretty treacherous green lanes and stuff.

I've been around. I've done my, I've done my fair share. He's done his tour. I've had to draw people off at birthday parties out in the middle of nowhere and, uh, and, and work dudes. Out in the middle of nowhere on Jersey. Had to pick people up and stuff. I reckon, I think I've driven around this place so much that I could be a fairly good taxi driver over here.

Oh, right. I think I'd be able to do it. I think. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to have a book, though. There's like there are a lot of like little lanes that like nobody knows about. You have to there's like a there's like a like a like a coal, like a cheat sheet book that the taxi drivers use to find places that they've never heard of before. I thought they had to have it all.

No, I mean, well, there just sat nav- now, but... That's cheating. I think they use a combination of the two, because some of them are like old school, you know? They're like, technophobes. I want to be one of those guys. So, that plane that took off, do you remember the one that was going to Singapore? It's already...

In Singapore. Made it. Oh my god. It's already flown over the whole of London. Do we have a blackout? Like, what? It's already... In Singapore. Made it. Oh my god. It's such a huge thing. It's already flown over the whole of London. Do we have a blackout? We are getting old, but like...

It's literally already flying, it's already over London. It's way past London. Yeah, well, it's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing, yeah. They go like 600... They're in the sky. ... miles an hour or something. Yeah, but so they can't go maximum speed until they get up above the clouds.

And they don't just sort of until they get up above the clouds. And they don't just sort of hoik it back and just gun it straight up. It's like a slow acceleration. If I remember rightly, from watching YouTube channels by pilots, when they're over, like after takeoff, they have to sort of bring the engine down a bit because you don't want to be full bore over towns and cities. It'd be too loud and obnoxious. So you sort of coast up to their 35,000 feet and then they're they're fucking.

And then they and then they rip it. Yeah, just let it fucking. That's the command. The pilot says, look, it really is. Fucking read it, dude. Look, it really is. Oh, you're changing. Rip, dude.

Rip engaged, bro. Oh, man. Did I tell you guys about my disappointing meal I had the other week? I can't remember. I spoke about it on stream, but I didn't, uh, I don't know if I told you guys. No, the only you've been, you've, you talked a lot about, you did the bingo, the Gordon Ramsey's kitchen nightmares bingo, uh, andingo. And then spoke a little bit. I want to say condescendingly to us about how you love food so much and you're good at making it. And we're idiots because we don't. I don't believe I called you guys idiots.

I think you were insinuating though that. No, I think I was insinuating that certainly I apologize. If that's the case, I apologize. I'm just, I apologize. I'm just I'm just yanking your crank here I'm not just joking. Yeah, okay. I'm pulling your chain But uh, I did I did I tell you that I found myself giving a Ramsey style review of a restaurant while I was in it So I've watched so much of kitchen nightmares over the last couple of weeks and I've been doing the bingo for them. I've done like 40 episodes of bingo now. And we know the format of the show down to an absolute T. And what I was doing was... Carry on.

Is it because of the planes taking off? Did you just like wander into the back kitchen and start... I just pre-laughed and got this idea of you... ...rolling containers around and stuff. You're doing an episode in the restaurant with your family. What the fuck is that? Oh my god! So I was eating the meal and when Gordo comes into the restaurant and eats the meal for the first time he's like, it's bland, dry, not fresh, such a shame. And then the girl comes to take

it away. He goes, thanks darling. He goes, thank you darling. I'll have the next dish. Thank you. Let's hope something improves. That was terrible. And then I was doing that. Like my daughter's like, oh, my chicken's dry and I ate it. And I was like, it's bland. No seasoning. And I really, I really felt like I was embodying Gordo. But it was, I didn't say anything to them. But then when the server comes at the end to, how was your meal? Because I had left quite a bit and my daughter left quite a bit. Mrs. Effort and her brother had eaten a decent amount of what they'd ordered.

And he was like, how was it? I was like, honestly, very disappointing. And he's like, oh, oh, hold on a minute. And he goes off and gets a pen and paper. He goes, please tell us we want all the feedback is important. I was like, okay. Jesus. So I spent like three minutes running down all this shit that was wrong with this meal. No. And yeah. And then my daughter's chipping in and saying that as well. And he's writing it all down.

He takes it to the manager. What are you doing? Takes it to the manager who's right there. And she looks at the list, looks at me and just turns away. Oh my God. He asked. He asked. Guys, I have to step away for two seconds. I'm so sorry. I my god. Pflats. He asked. He asked. Guys, I have to step away for two seconds.

I'm so sorry. I'll be right back. The thing is, he called your bluff, right? You were like... No, no. I called his bluff. Well, actually, that's true. The thing is, if you do say it's fairly disappointing, then he comes back with a notepad and paper

and you're like, oh god, I don't have time to fucking tell him everything that was wrong with my meal. I just told you, you don't want to come up with something like exactly his, he called, you called his bluff. But the thing is, like if he came back with that notepad and you'd be like, Oh, well, it wasn't just wasn't very salty or it wasn't nice. Wasn't very nice. Like how was he supposed to write that? You know, he could almost just give you you the... You giving him all the stuff.

Oh, I broke down the entire meal. I had eggs Benedict. I had eggs Benedict. And I said to him, this isn't even on a muffin, this is just the bottom of a burger bun. That's just raw. It's raw! It wasn't toasted or anything. It was just, like, take the bottom of a burger, slap it on a plate.

That's it. And it had... the ham on top was not a nice thick cut of ham, like a ham steak you'd expect, fair and spending. It was just the kind of ham you'd get like wafer thin ham from a packet Tesco's. It was like, no, that's bad. Poached egg on top. The egg was done fine. And then the hollandaise sauce was really sour. Like it tasted like it had come from a packet. And I made this point to him and he was like, Oh, and then my daughter had on, come over it. Sorry. So I'm just, Simon,

Simon wants me to play Minecraft with him. Okay. I'm translating. Play Minecraft with me, please. You're playing Minecraft. Wherever we're running. Jaffa factory! Wherever we're running. It's my birthday today, Lewis!

Happy birthday! Is it your birthday? Happy birthday! Oh, Perian says happy birthday. Thank you, Perian. Happy birthday, mate. Sips here. He's had to pop away for a minute.

Oh, I'm sure he did. I'm sure he did. He heard you come and he legged it. Yeah, because he wants to be the centre of bloody attention. Oh, tell me about it. And he can't be if I'm the birthday boy. Exactly. All right, well, Lulu, we'll let you go then, mate, if you've got to do I'm the birthday boy. Exactly. All right, well Lulu, we'll let you go

then mate if you've got to do Minecraft with the birthday boy. We'll go. All right, thank you. Do a goodbye. I've loaded Minecraft up. Look, I've got it. Look, you're not in the server. We'll cut the podcast here. I haven't done Lose News, but that's what I have to be for next time. We'll do it next time. We'll do it next time. We've got some Lose News. Yeah. All right, thank you everyone. Goodbye. See you next time. Goodbye. Sips isn't even back. No he's not. It's alright.

Just goodbye. There you go. Goodbye.