Triforce! - Triforce! #5: Weekly Shop
Episode Date: April 20, 2016Pyrion has his shopping delivered mid podcast. Triforce is a podcast where Lewis, Sips and Pyrion chat about pretty much anything they want. Enjoy! Production music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Lear...n more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, and welcome to DriveForce episode 5, aka 5.
Oh, it is 5, you're right.
I'm joined, I am joined, by Sips and Lewis. How are y'all?
Hey, what's up, you guys?
See, I can do intros. I don't know why everybody says I can't. That was amazing.
You nailed it.
I'm multilingual.
You nailed it.
You even put some German language in there.
A little bit of education for people who listen, who don't speak any German.
You've taken it to a higher level now.
You've set such a bar.
The next person who has to do an intro is going to really struggle.
I have to do it in Japanese.
Yeah, yeah.
Konnichiwa
that's like all my japanese gone that was great
mushi mushi pachinko sushi
whales anyway
i don't know man anyway so um how's it going guys what's up what's new
uh nothing honestly it feels like no time since we did the last one you sound sick as hell i think i have a child
welcome friend to the world of being around sickly children all yeah yeah i've been sick for like
four years constantly like it's just the way that it goes you just always feel like shit health-wise
i'll be okay i've had a bit of a c this. I do have a tiny favor to ask
you guys, which is
that Mrs. F
made a
delivery. It's meant to be coming
between 10 and 11.
Like it's a food shop.
Now, I only found out
about this on Skype this morning
and I said to her, that's a really
really bad time because I'll be doing the podcast with the guys, and she said, oh, I'm sorry.
So the doorbell will go, and I will have to run downstairs, and I will have to put food away.
So I'll be about five to six minutes.
I don't know if we want to pause at that point.
It's cool.
We'll just edit it out.
Just pause, and we'll edit it out.
We don't need to.
We'll just keep it going.
It's fine.
I love this. They don't just pause the Starship Enterprise in space
when Data has to go to his room and cry a bit or whatever
because he's developing his emotions.
No.
The crew come together, teamwork, makes the dream work.
Data, thought of my face.
And the ship keeps going.
So, Paflax, don't worry about it.
You've got to go downstairs and you've got to put away your groceries or whatever.
Just take your fucking time because you know what there's two guys here on the podcast
that are just gonna hold it down while you're doing that and then when you get back yeah
i've thought you gotta do a bit of work so that we can have a bit of a rest what you could do is
you guys could try and figure out what is on my shopping list ah man see if you can get 10 of the items on my shopping list what a fun
game yeah listen up right first of all when you said um my wife would like you guys to do a favor
i thought first of all i thought maybe she listens to the podcast maybe she was the first thing the
first thing i thought was like holy shit she's a fan of the podcast i can't believe it like my
wife thinks that we're a bunch of fucking goons but like your wife maybe thinks
that we're cool dudes no yeah so that was what was running through our heads right there and
then the second thing after you sort of started saying she wants something right i was like
So, I mean, I'm up for it.
Fully up for it.
No, I sort of assumed that she was going to,
it was going to be something to do with the podcast, though, you know. But no, it was literally you have to do the shopping.
She almost, it was completely ignoring.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's funny, though.
It's a very domestic thing.
People's worlds just carry on without us.
Is she off somewhere?
Bringing up the kids? Your wife?
She's at work.
She's got a real job.
She has. She left the house
at 7.40 this morning.
She won't get back until about the same kind of time this evening.
Yesterday,
she did not see the kids
in an awake
state at all like she left
when they were still asleep she got back at about
11.30 at night
well look the least we can do
is put the shopping away for her
that's what I think
she doesn't watch anything
she doesn't watch anything that we do by the way
everyone here on the podcast
is gonna it's a shame you can't take the mic
downstairs and like you know take us through this journey oh man yeah there's gonna be like one
paper bag just filled with anusol i i i call it now like 20 25 boxes of hemorrhoid cream i'm
calling it now that's all it is so yeah okay let's go with the let's go with this list so
sips you've said, and you sold.
Yeah.
I reckon there might well be some lady products in there.
Let me get a bit of paper here.
There'll be like some lady hygiene sort of products.
Well, I'm thinking if it was urgent.
So, you're saying anusol, and you're saying lady products?
Lady products.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, something like a towel or something. What else have we products? Lady products. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like a towel or something.
What else have we got?
Ladies towels.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hygiene towels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Brackets, hygiene.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to say dinosaur chicken as well because you've got kids.
And, like, that's pretty staple, I think.
Some sort of fun shaped meal thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm also thinking frozen stuff, right?
Like frozen waffles, frozen peas.
Chips, frozen chips.
You're going to have a bag of frozen chips in there somewhere.
Because you could imagine, right, that what would happen is
if you told your husband to get shopping at the door, okay, he would be like, oh.
So he'd go down.
He'd, like, have to do the shopping really quick, and then he'd leave it there and go back to his game, right, finish off his game, and then maybe come back and put it away later.
But I think your wife has told you about this because there is frozen stuff in there.
Absolutely.
Sherlock Holmes.
Very clever.
Well done, Mr. Holmes.
I'm going to guess either a refrigerated
or a frozen pizza is going to be in there as well.
And another one from me,
I'm going to guess that somewhere in there
is going to be some cider.
Cider, okay.
Yeah, good guess.
I think we're going to get that one for sure.
The shop is a mystery to me.
She orders it online.
It turns up, it's a bit like when you order those things
where they send you a package of food every week
and you don't know what's going to be in it.
That's what the shop is to me.
So I unpack it and I'm like, what the hell is this?
I didn't even know we ran out of that.
Or, oh my God, now we have so much of this.
Because she's not here, but she has a vague idea of the things that we need. but i do pretty much all the cooking and food and stuff because i'm in the house yet she
does the shop so so i this list could be true i do not know like i can't even give you a hint
because i don't know what's going to be on it so you've got four more things sips has just
disconnected from our chat service so it's just gonna have to be me telling you these four things
this whole podcast is gonna be kind of just two of us like occasionally because sips is now gone i guess you're gonna
leave imminently yeah and then it'll just be me on my own here trying to like this is not what
this is not what i signed up for i think like he's back peanut butter peanut butter all right we'll
put that on there yeah or. Or some sort of conserve.
I don't know, do you have Nutella?
Peanut butter slash Nutella, yeah.
Something like that.
And also, I mean, I think that that's more likely
than jam, marmalade, or honey in your household.
I'm just thinking that.
Maybe that's wrong.
I think some ice cream.
I'm thinking like lollies rather than tubs
because it's coming up summer
you've got kids, lollies
I mean these are the things
that I would put on the list
I think also squash
I'm going to go with Ribena though
because I think that
that's kind of the thing you'd have
I mean personally
these things I've been known
I think he's saying like one of the big you'd have i mean personally what like in a carton or in a bottle
like the syrup i think he's saying like one of the big bottles so you can dilute i don't mean
like the little cartons i mean a big bottle of liquid concentrated rapina okay yeah i think only
only really posh people get like the pre-mixed carton stuff because it's like kind of expensive
it's expensive yeah and also like my kids are not allowed to take that to school anyway. You have to take water. I'm also going to go with the cereal that I think your house has
is those packs of seven or I think it's actually eight little boxes.
It's got one cornflakes in there, one – it's a variety.
One Coco Pops, one Rice Krispies, one Rice-icles, one brown flakes.
No one eats. That one's always left over
There's always a box of Frosted Flakes
Right, okay, so there's the
There's the ten
I'll just give a rundown recap
For the viewers, the listeners at home
Ate a song
Left products
Dinosaur chicken
Frozen chips
Pizza Cider, peanut butter slash Wow. Dinosaur chicken. Frozen chips. Pizza.
Cider.
Peanut butter slash Nutella.
Ice cream.
Brackets.
Lollies.
Squash.
Brackets.
Ribena.
And a cereal variety pack.
Cereal variety pack.
I missed some of those.
I disconnected from Discord.
I know.
We didn't notice.
Carry on.
Okay, cool.
It's all right.
So did you have any other emergency bonus items
that you think were on there?
It was a wild card, Sips.
Oh, wild card.
Let me get the pen.
Wild card.
I'm going to say that somewhere in there,
there's going to be a variety pack of chips,
like potato chips.
Like crisps?
Yeah, like the little grab bags of like you know walkers or whatever bonus item
as a risk is gonna be marmite oh what about digestives you should have said like a bag
of digestives just because just because of your response there or tea bags tea bags that's not
a tea bags tea bags isn't a gamble it's's got to be something strange. What I should have said, what I should have told you guys.
Some Nabob coffee.
No way.
Here's what I didn't tell you guys, which I could have done,
but I didn't want to give you too many hints.
My mom, Big Mama Flex, is coming up to stay.
Oh, no.
For 12 days.
So there's going to be a pre-made trifle in there somewhere.
It's all based around what an old lady might like to have
for the next 12 days staying in our house.
So there's foodstuffs.
Cabbage.
There's going to be a cabbage in there somewhere too.
Boiling cabbage.
Old people love to do that.
Potted herring.
Yeah.
Clumpy. The weird thing about kids are quite fussy but the weird thing is i think you have a bell curve of fussiness and at the low and high end that like is the age group so my kids are
pretty fussy because they're still kids they're getting less fussy as time goes on like they'll
try pretty much anything now some of it they like yeah they don't and then my mom is exceptionally fussy for you know from from maybe about 10 years ago maybe 15
years ago until now it's like progressively fussier and fussier so and and the weird thing
is because she's an old lady their appetites are like tiny so mentally she still thinks she's a
normal person not an oldie so she still asks for these big portions
of food and then she has like three bites of and she's like oh oh that was filling and i'm looking
at like you know my seven-year-old is like eating 10 times the amount that you are so is she is she
a dessert sharer as well like do you get that do you get like uh is there an old person in your
family who orders a dessert when you go to a restaurant? She's always about the dessert.
Can I split this with somebody?
I couldn't possibly eat the whole thing by myself.
She will do that.
And then it turns out.
She'll eat hardly any of her dinner.
And then she'll still have dessert.
It drives me and my wife crazy.
I know.
It's because the older you get, the more you become like a kid again, right?
And then when you're super elderly, you're like a little baby again.
You shit yourself freely. Somebody has to look look after you feed you and stuff like that and and and yeah
you know just eating just eating your dessert put with all your other old friends exactly exactly
just eating dessert is like the start of that because when you're a kid all you want to do is
fucking eat dessert right like my son we we put like pasta in front of him we put like nice you
know mashed potatoes and like greens and stuff and like all this really good stuff and like he won't
touch it it doesn't matter what you say to him or whatever he's just like not interested at all
but then if you put like a cake in front of him it's gone in like 2.5 seconds he just wants to
eat chocolate all the time he wants to have like a candy necklace and like a candy ring and stuff.
And like, you know, fair enough.
I mean, I wish I could still do that.
I would just be crippled with like heartburn and, you know, diabetes and whatever.
I think this is what happens, you know, like I stopped eating, you know, as you get older,
you feel this creeping in, right?
Like I stopped eating Haribo because it made my teeth ache, you know, because of the amount
of sugar and stuff like that like at a certain point you just i did again like
i think as you get older you start feeling this creeping disgust for like like the creeping
criticism that old people tend to have where they seem to kind of criticize something that's fairly
unreasonable you know and so it's like you know've got a plate of peas there. And your nan says, oh, I don't do peas.
It's like, what do you mean?
Oh, no, all the peas, you know, they make me belly tickle.
It's like, well, I get a big rash on my pussy.
Oh, my God. Well, you should be feeding them to the cat then you stupid woman you stupid man
geez that was your problem yeah i know you mean it's like it's it's it's a pretty weird one but
getting kids to eat stuff in general i think the older you get your taste buds change too right
like i used to be really fussy when I was younger.
I'd only eat certain things.
But now I eat anything because now when I'm hungry, I'm just fucking hungry.
Like I haven't eaten for a while sort of thing because if you're busy or whatever, you lose track or you go out or something and you just like don't get a chance to eat.
When it comes to it, when food is presented to me and it's prepared already
i'll just fucking eat anything like it doesn't matter what's on the plate like if somebody baked
their shit on a plate i would i would eat it because i'm so hungry like i'm just i'm ready
to go sort of thing well i'm not saying i would enjoy it but i would still eat it that's good
that's manners quite honestly i know yeah and and then you'd save room for dessert
i think well not only that i would leave a little tiny bit at the end i wouldn't completely clear
my plate because apparently that's good manners too in some leaving a bit cultures yeah leaving
a little tiny bit is like good manners apparently i know it's seen as very good manners yeah so if
you finish your play in china and japan and places like this they'll bring you a new one because they'll assume that you haven't been satisfied by it.
And also it's sort of good manners to belch and stuff and be like, oh, rub your belly.
Yeah, I'm probably the best mannered person you'll ever meet in that case.
I'm not sure farting is the same, treat the same, but it's close.
I feel like it should.
I don't know why there's so much discrimination against farting. I mean, it's essentially
the same thing. Yeah, but so does burping.
But the difference is
you're farting particles of shit into
the air that someone's had to inhale.
Yeah. That's rude, man.
I don't want to breathe your poop.
I know, but it's pretty satisfying, right? When you smell
one of your own, you're like, oh. No, I hate it.
What's satisfying about the smell of poop?
I don't know. Like, if it of your own you're like no i hate it what's the sense about the smell of poop i don't know like if it's your own sometimes sometimes i find it comforting like you know if i'm just sitting in my garage farting like this is nice you know you're an animal i could
do this all day farting increases along with the healthy diet though sometimes you see this like
skinny yoga girl and you know that she will be the worst most stinkiest fart yeah
eggs like just the eggiest farts you've ever smelled in your life and it's like how can a
small such a small creature generate such incredibly disgusting farts yeah yeah it's it's
it's a weird thing right like you see all these thin beautiful disney princesses right and you
know really hot girls on red, Gone Wild, or whatever.
I don't know where you see them.
Gentleman Boners, maybe.
Which forums are you browsing?
Just think that the thinner and more healthy they look, the worse their fart smell.
You know what my grandma told me one time?
Healthy diet.
It's kind of related to this.
I was talking about, I think I talking about wayne gretzky
one time who's a famous grandma yeah to my grandma i was young and i was into hockey at the time so
i'm like you know wayne gretzky this that the other i think i read an article about it or whatever
and she was like oh you know wayne gretzky is a great hockey player all day right and you have
gone out your mama said hey can you take this a big pack of peas over to your
grandma because she needs them and so you've gone oh gran i want to play um street fighter 2 turbo
mom sorry and she's like all right fine after a game of street fighter 2 turbo so you do a favor
for your mom you go out to your gran he's trudged through the snow the canadian canadian summer
still snowing it's freezing um You trudge all the way through.
There's like milk frozen to people's doorsteps.
I'm just trying to set the scene, okay?
All right.
Get to her house, right?
She lives in like a log cabin, okay?
There's smoke coming out.
There's like fir trees all around it covered in snow.
It's made of gingerbread.
The door opens she's got that comical old granny voice too that lewis is about to do she's there on the doorstep yeah oh good morning
thanks for visiting your old grandma it's been so lonely god i haven't been out in the woods for a while to your log
cabin made of gingerbread and this place never changes yourself by the oven oh yeah okay she
says yeah and then so i say grandma i trudged all the way out here with my snowshoes and my pet
polar bear to tell you that um man i really like wayne gret. Like, I just think that this guy is a great hockey player.
He's really good.
You know, he's done some great things.
I was reading about him and stuff.
And my grandma turns around to me in her gingerbread log cabin
with the comical voice that Lewis just did.
And she says, you know what?
That's great.
It's really great to admire somebody and look up to them.
But you know what?
Now imagine them
sitting on the can taking a shit and i was like what and then i imagine wayne gretzky sitting
there pants around his ankles you know reading the paper or like farting around on his ipad or
whatever taking a shit and i thought i get it you know what they're just people all these people
that you look up to,
they do all the same shit that you and me do
in their spare time, right?
Like take shit.
Sometimes they make like really smelly farts.
Sometimes they throw up involuntarily on the bus.
You know, other times they trip.
She got that the wrong way around though.
And fall into a snowbank or whatever.
And I thought, this is good advice actually.
And now I don't look up to anyone
anymore because now anytime i see someone in the news or whatever i'm like that guy shits all the
time and i'm picturing you're not supposed to think about your role models like that i think
you're supposed to think of people who are kind of not as not as good you know isn't that isn't
that what you're supposed to do if you like don't like someone you think oh well let's just imagine them you know taking a shit yeah yeah just having just having
a really bad time as well they've eaten something that's just not gonna not coming out or it's
really no no it has the reverse effect somebody that you really dislike or somebody who's really
evil you just imagine them you know like the anus soul they're not being particularly evil in that
context right they're sitting there struggling to like wipe their ass like for the anus soul they're not being particularly evil in that context right they're sitting there
struggling to like wipe their ass like for the 50th time because they've taken a particularly
bad shit and you're like you feel kind of sorry for them right because you're like oh poor guy
you know sure he's like trying to enslave the human race or whatever but right now he's just
struggling like any other guy taking a bad shit and just, you know, trying to get out of that bathroom as soon as possible
to go back and play WoW or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, it's a dose of humanity.
He's dry.
You know, he hasn't got his shopping order of his new wet wipes or whatever
just to give him that kind of refreshing cleanness down there.
They ran out of Anusol and his online order,
they gave him a replacement, which didn't do the trick.
And, you know, you just think, oh, poor guy.
And he has to record a podcast in five minutes.
That's right.
The delivery's coming in like two hours, so he's going to have to tell them.
He's hoping that his two co-hosts will cover for him as well.
Yeah.
This is getting very specific.
Oh, shit. Damn, that's a strange thing so i guess like i don't know you i don't know what your
grad just sort of told you that out of thin air i mean she's really old school do you think
she's pretty racist she was pretty do stuff spitefully when they see someone having a lot
of fun do you think sometimes they see young people having a lot of fun do you think sometimes they see young
people having a lot of fun or enjoying something you know and they say you like wade kretzky well
just imagine him taking a big shit yeah yeah i mean i think even now i don't know if it was like
a family thing or like a generational thing but i got the feeling that you know their idea of kids
like like my grandma was really nice.
She was really, really great.
She was like, she would always like get me cool stuff like on my birthday and for Christmas and stuff.
Anytime she'd visit, I'd be like super excited and stuff.
I got on really well with her.
I used to like spend my, like Canada Day, there were like fireworks and stuff.
I'd go sleep at her house and watch fireworks and stuff.
It was really good but she came from a generation where i think that kids were like um you know
seen and not heard sort of thing and i think it was like one of those things where it was considered
kind of funny to like troll kids like if if that's possible back then sort of thing. Because like, I don't know.
I think like I just get the feeling that she was always sort of like trolling me a bit,
like, you know, with like the taking a shit thing or whatever.
But like not in like a super mean way.
Like I think she just found it a little bit funny or whatever.
I think it's because...
Maybe she was like ahead of her time in that sense.
Well, if you think about the way kids used to be raised,
like if you've been a child
at any other time in history other than pretty much now it would be a pretty god-awful thing
like being kids being a kid used to be awful because they used to think the kids were born
with like original sin and they were basically needed to be saved and they were bad and they
should be seen and not heard and yeah you you know, things like the Victorian times had like the workhouse or, you know, that's it. If you're, you're a poor kid
and you're orphan, that's it. You belong to the state now and they're just going to work you like
a dog. And it's like, it's, it's awful. Um, and of course, you know, diseases and lack of education
and opportunities and stuff like that. So I think a lot of older generations remember how grim and hard it was
when they were kids and i think there's a natural human sort of feeling in some people
to feel that i didn't have this so no one should yeah yeah like a very selfish way too easy so now
i have to like always been saying shatter his dreams by making him imagine wayne gretzky taking
a crap yeah it's just i think it's just, I think it's kind of a,
I think it's a selfish thing.
And maybe when people get older,
they get maybe a little bitter.
Because if you, like, we can't imagine
what it's like to be 80.
I mean, you know, we can potentially try
and imagine what it's like,
but it's going to be weird.
You're 80, you're nearing the end of your life
and you see all this stuff going on.
It all seems so frivolous to you.
Why aren't people panicking about the fact that I could drop dead at any minute?
Why aren't people just following me around saying,
holy shit,
this is,
this could be this person's last minutes on earth when they take a
particularly difficult poop,
you know?
So I broke my hip.
Yeah,
exactly.
Too much,
you know,
something in their brain pops that's
it like it's tough baby so there's there's not the the level you could you're coming over you're
not saying grandma how are you how are your bowels here are some frozen peas i hope it'll put
everything right i hope you're okay your first first word out of your mouth is man when gretzky's
fucking awesome grandma yeah the whole time she's like you fuck you and
you're fucking Wayne Gretzky you entitled little shit like that's what she's thinking and I'm dying
yeah but then of course on the other hand she's like I'm getting old so like maybe yeah I can
see where all these bitter emotions would come from but I never like I never took it as as that
she was bitter I was just I think she was just like joking around and having fun sort of like at my expense or whatever and it was pretty funny i was old enough to to realize that
i wasn't like super young i don't think that as you get old you automatically turn into some sort
of monster oh my god and well he's off right but but i i mean i think i think you know gen generally
people who are good in in life will be good when they get old i think man death is like
something we should probably talk about on this podcast oh my god do we have to no i don't think
we should you know what i think we should talk about instead but i don't i don't even know but
yeah maybe but like no i don't want to talk about death at all okay we'll just be quiet you know
what you've twisted my arm as far back as it'll go let's talk about death what are your thoughts what are your thoughts on getting old and die see for me
from my point of view i think that like when you're young dying or the thought of death is
like holy shit like i do not want to die you know like i still have a lot of things i want to do
i still have a lot of things i want to experience no no no no that's not i want to have sex with
somebody in outer space and stuff first of all when you're young you have no conception of death and you feel that you you
can't die okay and then as you get older you're you tend to be reckless with your mortality in
a sense people people dive off stuff and motorbike around you know that they feel invulnerable
certainly for a while and then what that follows up on is
sort of this period of time when you have stuff to live for like you know you want oh you're like
oh god i hope i don't die because i've got to bring up these kids i've got these i've got
important things to do yeah and then i think there's this this level of acceptance that comes
with you know i've i've i've done everything i'm i'm tired i'm i'm i think there's that's that
classic um trio of energy which i love like it's like an xkcd thing where when you're young you
have loads of energy and loads of time but no money when you're you know middle-aged and you
have a job you have plenty of money and plenty of energy but no time because you're working
bringing up kids doing all the stuff yeah when you're old you have all the time in the world all the money in the world but no energy
um so there's always something missing at all stages of of of life if you like in a sense you
know you don't you know you don't see um i think i think we we as you get older you get a picture
of what it's like to be old and i think being being old is tough. You know, it's achy.
Your bones and things are not as good as they were.
Your reactions are not as good.
Your sense is not as good.
Everything is kind of a bit, it's a bit of a sad thing to happen.
And I think that it is a natural thing to die.
But I think that if you're going to die early,
I have a really sort of, I can't remember whose quote this was,
and I'm probably paraphrasing it as well, but death is a little bit, I consider to be death a really sort of, I can't remember whose quote this was, and I'm probably paraphrasing it as well,
but death is a little bit, I consider to be death a little bit like being asked to leave a party that's still going on before it's finished.
So it's like the party's going to happen, the party's happening right now,
you're at the party, the party's going to carry on without you,
but you're going to have to leave, sorry.
It's a little bit tricky, it's a little bit like, oh, okay, you don't want to leave,'re gonna have to leave sorry you know it's it's a little bit tricky
it's a little bit like oh okay you don't want to leave no one wants to leave because the party's
going on everyone wants to stay at the party but it's you can i like to think of it like a kind of
you know if you're if you're most people are like oh okay maybe it is time to leave maybe i've been
at this party long enough i think i think i think a lot of people are very accepting of of death and
it's it's when you're older i think yeah especially if you're riddled with like health problems and Maybe I've been at this party long enough. I think a lot of people are very accepting of death.
When you're older, I think, yeah,
especially if you're riddled with like health problems and stuff,
you probably, I would imagine that,
like me thinking about this in my own terms,
I would probably be pretty fed up. And I think, you know, if you're not able to enjoy life
and you're not enjoying life and you're quite elderly
and you're plagued with like health problems or whatever, maybe you do get to the point and you're you're not enjoying life and you're quite elderly and you're plagued
with like health problems or whatever maybe you do get to the point where you're like yeah it's
time for me to go you know like there's this will never get better you know i'm never going to be
able to do the things that i used to do that i used to have fun doing or whatever and like it's
a sad thing to think about right like that somebody could be ready to die but i think that like your
brain maybe sort of convinces you that that's the
case sort of thing.
Cause like,
I don't know if you've ever noticed,
but like,
like older people,
when they get to the point where,
you know,
like it seems that like,
like older people could one minute be living by themselves,
totally self-sufficient,
be quite happy.
Just doing this,
the stuff that they've done all the time.
And then they get a little bit sick and maybe hospitalized because of that,
because they're very fragile.
And then they almost just give up and die, pretty much. You know what I mean?
I think you'll find that that happens like time and time again.
It's like that sort of thing where it's like,
I'm never going to be able to go back to my place.
You know, people are telling me that I have to be looked after now and stuff and like man you
just sort of accept that you're just like oh well my life i don't know i don't think it's always
like that i think that's a very kind of conceptual thing i mean dying is a part of life and i think a
lot of people unfortunately probably live by some sort of um well a lot of people it's very much tied up with religion
because it's very it's a very difficult concept to deal with with with dying people like to imagine
that it's not the end because that makes it easier um yeah you know but then again i think
that people who aren't religious which is increasing the proportion of the the planet
um i really feel that dying but no afterlife doesn't mean that there's nothing
to live for quite the opposite you know you've only got one life it's everything to live for
you know you should make the most of the life that you have rather than thinking oh well i
fuck this one up i'll see you in the afterlife i'll do it again you know it's like well that's
not the way to live i think i think that there is this
um stigma around talking about dying and stuff like that and and you know especially in america
when it's so kind of you should fight every single second of your life for every single
you know you know you should you should live um for the next five years as a worm rather than
you know go out in a blaze of glory kind of thing
man i'm all about the blaze of glory kind of yeah big time yeah sorry so well pflax let's move on
to your shopping list oh my god okay we need it let's go down because we we got we went down a
dark i know it hurt we went to really dark you should never leave again pflax because this is what happens let's
take this turn with open number data returns from his chamber crying and he finds picard and reicher
having a conversation about dying on the bridge god and everybody else is like really depressed
wharf is like face in his hands he got like sulu who's not even like part of this timeline just
like fucking crying in a corner in
the fetal position and stuff never leave the bridge again Data is basically what I'm saying
we need you we need you so bad and he just walks back in and goes captain your anusol is here
captain it seems that 25 boxes of anusol have arrived
and it was delivered by Timmy two times
so actually now
we have 50
boxes of
Anusol
Anusol was
not on the
list
that's one
X
damn
there are no
lady products
on the list
that gets an
X
she must have
some from
a previous
week
damn
is your wife like
a robot or something she doesn't need any of that shit she didn't need it today fuck bonus freezer
oh shit i didn't put more chicken dinosaurs i didn't put the freezer stuff away i didn't see
the freezer that was the one thing you were supposed to do the bridge no oh god okay anyway
so so picard, when you die.
We have saved Period Flax's freezer stuff.
He wouldn't have put it away, yeah?
If he'd just come back to join the podcast,
we would have done the rest of this hour-long podcast.
Man, imagine his wife got home
and there was just a bag of rubbery defrosted oven chips
sitting on the counter.
How depressing would that be?
Just a melted ice tub of ben and jerry's oh man man it's just like slowly leaking all over the counter like
yeah i thought he wouldn't have put it on the counter it's on the floor in the hole on the
carpet oh that's true and the dogs like licking up the chocolate like get out of the carpet and
stuff see that's kind of shit i'm talking about though you make like a big boob like that and you
get to the end of the day and you're like fuck what have i done like maybe i'm
just ready to go now maybe like i'm ready for the grim reaper to come and take me away like you left
the ben and jerry's out you have suicidal fresh fresh pasta that's what a what a boob i am all
all all hot and stuff and like oh all that lettuce is all wilted.
It's all wilted away.
We'll never be able to make a Caesar salad now.
Yeah, and like, you know, how do I recover from this?
Maybe I can't.
And that's it.
You're done.
You're ready to go.
Oh, my gosh.
Your brain convinces you that now's the time.
You've done everything.
You've done the best you can.
But you fucked up big time at the end there with Ben and Jerry.
Okay.
Okay.
Hey, what's up?
Welcome back.
Dinosaur chicken.
That's an X.
That's an X.
There was no dinosaur chicken?
Frozen chips.
Tick.
Woo.
Big old bag.
Now, what kind of chips do you think they were?
I'm going to say McCain crinkle cut.
They were crinkle cut chips.
That gets an extra point.
You know how I know this?
Because kids love crinkle cut for some reason.
They do.
What the fuck?
I don't get it.
Pizza.
That's a tick.
There was a pizza.
Ah, man.
Cider.
That's a big old tick right there.
Yeah.
Peanut butter slash Nutella.
Not on the list. Holy list holy shit i'll tell you
why i believe it because lots of nut allergies right no no none no nut allergies nothing like
that mrs f just got you can get in selfridges which she works right near personalized jars
of nutella so it has your name on it spell or whatever name you want on it so she got one of
those each for the kids.
So we didn't need that.
So that gets an X.
They each have their own Selfridges jar of Nutella.
You just said one of the most posh things I've ever heard in my life.
It doesn't cost any more.
There's got to be a Reddit picture of this where it's like one jar says Katie.
One says Billy.
One says Fiona. and then one says asshole
now you said ice cream but lewis specified lollies it was two tubs of cornish clotted
cream ice cream so i'm gonna give you half a point. If I'd known the nan was coming.
I was thinking maybe Ben and Jerry's fish fiesta, you know, with like the chocolate fish and stuff.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah.
Oh, man, it's really good.
Fish fiesta.
It's like a fish party.
Yeah, but all the fish are made of chocolate, though.
That's the catch.
The best kind of party.
Yeah, the best kind of fiesta.
Man, they're like walking down the street and people just grabbing them and stuffing them in their face that's right
there was no squash oh damn it now she never buys me squash i have to get it so how many i mean of
the things that lewis has has thought we're going to be on the list how many ticks has he got no
i'm saying none we're still going guys so guys. So let's wait. Cereal variety pack.
Not on the list.
There was a...
There was not.
There was no cereal ordered, actually,
because we got a shitload already.
I didn't want to give anything away.
Oh.
All right.
But, yeah, there was no cereal.
What kind of cereal do you have in your house?
Let me guess.
There's a big old box of Weetabix in there.
There is a big old...
Like, the biggest box you get is just, like, like racks of weetabix in this kind of military wrapper it
looks very that's right very sort of basic and my youngest loves that with a little bit of honey
drizzled on top she's all about that also yeah yeah mini weetabix that have chocolate chips in
that is my jam i love those crunchy nut cornflakes we've got uh porridge ready brick and um you gotta have
porridge and ready you gotta and then alpha bites which is like these little things they're quite
healthy anyway so yeah yeah we got those two yeah they're good so crisps incredibly no crisps were
ordered i'm gonna have to have a word uh with with mrs f i thought that was a
pretty safe one actually me too dude it's one of those things where you don't always get them
because sometimes it's like if they're in the cupboard you're just gonna eat them so we're not
gonna get them sort of thing it's like hit and miss sometimes and then other times it's like yeah
man i'm we're feeling fresh and loose let's just buy 20 bags of variety crisps.
That'd be great.
And finally, Lewis's wild card, Marmite.
Not in this house, sir.
Not in this house.
Yeah.
So in grand total, you guys scored four points.
I think those four points are all me as well.
Pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure the things i recommended
and you got a bonus half point for getting the crinkle cut so that's three that's a total of
four so pretty poor guys pretty bad i mean little did i know yeah you were such nutella fans that
you invested in oh they love it highest customized jars. I don't think it costs more.
Genuinely, Mrs F is not the kind of
person to do it and drop money.
Tiffany!
Fetch your own jar of Nutella
from the cupboard.
Portia, put that Nutella down!
Portia, stop eating your Nutella
straight out of the jar.
Portia, does that jar of Nutella say Portia?
One does not eat Nutella
with one's finger Porsche
one uses a servant's finger
oh
fuck yeah
P-Flex
your cupboards sound a lot like my
cupboards and your freezer
fridge freezer I mean you sound like you've got pretty much all the same shit I got yeah Your cupboards sound a lot like my cupboards and your freezer, fridge, freezer.
I mean, you sound like you've got pretty much all the same shit I got.
Yeah.
It's an age thing, I think.
We've got like some like ultra healthy peanut butter.
Like it's like organic peanut butter.
And man, it gets like all the oil kind of like seeps to the top.
So when you open it up, it's like really oily.
You got to mix it all up. I kind of like it though. Because when you're you open it up it's like really oily you got to mix it all up i kind of like it though because when you're mixing it all up you can smell the peanut butter
and it just gets you ready for like fucking peanut butter toast i feel you buddy peanut
butter toast is something that people in the uk don't really eat a lot but i i loved it like i i
mean i find it the ultimate dad thing like if i go in the kitchen i'm like man i'm hungry peanut butter toast every time like i'll do it three or four slices of that shit i'm like yeah yeah i go big
when i go peanut butter toast like i love it yeah it's really good and quick too right like it
requires basically no effort especially if you have a toaster that can do four things at once
you're like yeah no problem dinner is i had i had my toaster set the other day okay this is
crazy i so we have the like the the four pop toaster okay and i had the dials set to like
three because i i like a like a crispy toast oh my god okay this is one of the i'm already on edge
when you're talking about toasters and dials but carry carry on. So I had the dials set to three, but I didn't realize.
How you liked them.
That's how you liked them, right?
How high up is three?
Because is this like a one to ten scale or a one to five or what?
It's a one to five.
So it's like on the crispy side, okay?
Okay.
So I had them set to three and you constantly have to reset them
because my wife sets them to like one.
So it's like barely toasted or whatever.
And that's just her thing.
But I like my shit toasted. So I pop the toast down, okay? sets them to like one so it's like barely toasted or whatever and that's just her thing but i like
my my shit toasted so i pop the toast down okay and i wait a couple of minutes because it you know
at three it takes like a couple minutes or whatever so i was like off doing something else i think i
was like just like washing some dishes quick or whatever and then the toast popped but both popped
at the exact same time and i heard a beep at the exact same time. And I heard a beep at the exact same time.
And I was like, oh, that's weird.
Like, what's that beep sound?
I don't know.
So, like, I get the toaster.
Just for people who don't understand this.
So Sips' toaster has two different push-down bits.
Yeah, yeah.
The two push-down bits.
And this time specifically, they both popped at, like, the exact same time.
The exact same millisecond.
Yeah.
Very unusual. Very unusual. So, this happens. they both popped at like the exact same time same millisecond yeah okay very unusual very unusual
um so this happens and i'm like oh whatever you know i eat my toast and do a couple of things i
come back into the kitchen maybe like half an hour later and like open up the fridge and there's no
light it's like the fuck like has the fucking fridge light gone like i can't believe it and
then like i tried to put on the kettle fucking didn't work or whatever it's like what the shit like half the kitchen is without power
and the fight it was the fucking toaster the double pop at the same time tripped the fucking
switch wow for like that side of the kitchen it was crazy i couldn't believe and the beeping sound
was the fucking bottle maker for the baby powering down it's like it never been powered down before
or whatever i was like and like and that affected it as well and i was like fucking pushing it like
i need to make a bottle the baby's crying like i had to switch things on and off again and then i
had to go fucking upstairs to switch box and like switch on half the kitchen again because of the
toaster fucking crazy okay well let me just stop you for a
second what you've done here is a very classic thing that humans and animals do which is assign
a cause to something which is probably not the cause but you assumed it was you assumed that
the fact that you'd lined up your two dials on your toaster to precisely three and so they popped
at the same time and that immense popping of double toast which is so
unexpected and unpredictable right it causes a surge i know i'm i know you're thinking that
that wasn't the thing it was okay the alternative is okay the alternative is that the kitchen lost
power and it automatically powered off the toaster which instantly double popped the both sides at
once what's the more likely thing well i don't see how half the kitchen would just lose power let me let me ask
you a question let me ask you a question though sips all right and i i've i've recently had our
kitchen redone and okay and we've got you sticking a fork in the dishwasher at the time or something
like that yeah what like into the into the utensil tray That's not going to trip the power, my friend.
What else were you doing at the time?
That's the thing.
Like nothing.
I wasn't doing anything.
But that's the thing.
What about the kids in the house?
On one side of our kitchen, we have dishwasher, washing machine, tumble dryer, electric kettle,
George Foreman grill, which is amazing, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then the lights and stuff.
If I'm running, the the dishwasher the washing machine and
the tumble dryer all at the same time it's 50 50 that the the fuse is going to trip because
they've got like these ultra sensitive fuses in so that if the kids god forbid shove something in
the friggin outlet it's gonna drop you know the power's gonna cut before they do basically so yeah like they're very sensitive
so if i yeah 240 volts like it's gonna have a problem so you're saying on that side of the
kitchen you've got fridge baby bottle thing toaster yeah what else is running over there
sips i don't feel you're giving us the whole story there's like the fridge freezer the kettle
the toaster the kettle wasn't on at the time the toaster the baby bottle thing
um and that's it that was all that was plugged in on that side but i'm saying if the kitchen
if the fridge motor kicks in at the exact instant your toaster's going and the baby bottle thing's
going it might just the baby bottle thing was on but it wasn't running circuit break did you have washing machine or or um oh
yeah washing machine is is probably on that that switch but it wasn't on at the time uh dishwasher
maybe it's really weird like because the oven has a clock on it but the oven isn't on that switch
because the clock was still intact you know like that's usually the first sign that like you've
lost power right you see the stupid fucking digital clock on your oven blinking that's right tripped or whatever but that it wasn't
affected so it had to have been the toaster okay i don't care what you guys say i'm gonna stick with
the double pop of the toaster all right do me a favor repeatable experiment all right okay well
i'll try but it's impossible to get that double pop like especially when you want it it's never gonna happen it's like it's such a weird thing when the toast pops
there's less power under the toaster it stops i know but maybe it's like like that constant like
one minute it's using a lot of power and then the next minute it's using none sort of thing
well i don't fucking know i'm not an electrician all i'm saying is that that's
the only thing that happened so it had to be the cause unless like maybe somebody threw a fucking
emp into my house without me realizing it and then that caused half of my kitchen to lose
power or something i think lewis's explanation makes more sense. Something like, like I said, let's say that the fridge motor kicks in as the toaster's going. It's been going for a little
while, you know, there's a bit of current building up. Also toasters and kettles are all about
surges of power because you've got to heat an element very quickly. So it could easily be that.
This happened last week, okay? You guys ganged up on me last week.
It's not ganging up, there's only two of us. No, no, no.
And you guys were convinced that you're right, right?
About gif and gif.
And somebody made a really valid point.
How do you pronounce giraffe?
How do you pronounce graphics?
It's a G and an I.
How do you pronounce graphics?
It's G and an I.
I pronounce it graphics because there's a G and an R.
So the G is a hard G.
But when a G is next to an I, it's a soft G, right. So the G is a hard G. But when a G is next to an I,
it's a soft G, right?
So you wouldn't pronounce it giraffe.
The word give.
I would say jiv.
Fuck the English language.
Seriously, it's terrible.
What the fuck?
Man.
All right. One nothing, P- pflax but i will get you at some point i will get one day one day no this isn't the end of this this it's a it's a valid
point though you know with the pronunciations and stuff gif who says gif that just sounds dumb
jif sounds way better 66 of the people in this conversation say
gif i know but like you can't count lewis's opinion on anything he's so jaded i am um i'm
a broken man he's a broken jaded man and he's at that point in his life where he's pretty accepting
that he's done yeah and like if the grim reaper showed up today and was like lewis you're done he'd be like yeah take it i'm done with all this say uh grim reaper
huh i bet i bet you take a shit just like everybody else i call bullshit on that you so
see the problem with grim reapers i read this thing on reddit about the grim reaper and i mean this
guy is not what he says he is at all and here's a million reasons why and then somehow talking
about financials and the pools and stuff in there as well that's that's pretty much me in a nutshell
you've got me there sips i got i got you bad you got nice i got you got me that that's right so
one nothing we've done 50 minutes of bum chat.
We're supposed to talk about games in this podcast.
Oh, shit, yeah.
At some point we were meant to, yeah.
All right, video games.
What have you guys been doing this week or playing games or doing in your lives this week?
Rust.
Rust.
Rust.
More rust.
I've been playing Rust for fucking like a week and a half.
And last night was the culmination
and we've stopped now until the next wipe
me personally I've stopped until the next wipe
that's it
when's the next wipe?
a week's time
so isn't it every week?
yeah yeah
well it depends on the server so it's every two weeks
so we got to a point last night
and
it was an all-in okay and we
we'd had a i mean sips came and visited our little orcs nest i was impressed it was really good well
and every time i log in the guys who are there overnight like there's this american crew they
take it very seriously especially because they're referred to as the americans and they're you know
we tell them how hard working they are they're're like, yeah, we got shit done.
So sort of get in there and they build this base.
So we've now got our inner keep with a wall around that and now a wall around that.
So it's like double walls.
It's a huge amount of land that we've enclosed.
And it's like we've had 50 people in the clan, like just spread out all over the place.
And we have about 30, 40 people online sometimes.
So last night, we got a whole bunch.
It was like 20, 25 of us, which is huge.
In Rust terms, that's a huge number of people online at once.
And we raided this nearby river base.
And we'd made C4 and rockets.
And I was like the general.
I was like, right, sniper team here, security team there.
We need medics, and we need this, and we need a breach team,
and we need a C4 team, and a rocket team. And everyone team everyone's like oh you know we did it we get into the base and we we were so bad at
breaking into this base we wasted all our resources and then the smarter more experienced players just
started fucking with us okay so even though some of them i don't think it was their base one of
the things we brought with us was a door and a lock so when we blew the front door we could put
our own door down, lock it,
and then they wouldn't be able to get back in.
They'd have to C4 their way back in,
but obviously we're in their base where their C4 is probably,
so they were like stuck outside.
So we go inside, we get building privileges.
We put the new door on the front door.
We put a lock on it.
We lock it.
But the guy that locked the door put the code in wrong,
so he had to change the
code while he's changing the code some fucker outside quickly runs up and as soon as the door
is unlocked he enters a new code and locks us in so we're now locked in the enemy base with no idea
what this code is and we're on the ramparts which have not got much cover and there's guys sniping
at us from miles around with bows and arrows every Every time one of us leaves the base, they get killed.
So the bad guys are now wearing our gear.
So we're confusing them for us.
They're killing our guys coming back in.
We've run out of pickaxes.
They're all broken.
We have to go back and get more stone and metal and wood,
try and bring it back into the base.
Our guys are so hyped up.
They're shooting all our friendlies as they're bringing supplies into the base.
People are losing their minds.
So after about three hours of this, I like right that's it i'm done with
rust let's all go home so we all just leave like we didn't even get any loot from this enemy base
we were there for like two and a half hours didn't get a damn thing out of it we wasted all our good
shit we just went was it the really big one that was close to your base it was like there was one
near the water right it was like almost in the water so it was like we called it the really big one that was close to your base? It was like there was one near the water, right? It was like almost in the water.
So it was like we called it the water base.
It was like a big tower.
So it was like we just couldn't believe how bad it was.
But now, I mean, it was a valuable learning experience.
That was how we pitched it.
We went home.
We all dropped all our shit off.
We all got naked, had a massive fight in the Thunderdome.
And I said, if you want to carry on playing before this server wipe, guys,
take what you can
and flee to the hills like get far far away from this place because those lads they were korean
guys all their signs were in korean when they get back in they're going to be pissed and they're
going to know it's us so they're going to come at us hard so just leave so that's it we've abandoned
the orc says we're all just running for the hills you scattered yeah that was crazy what a tale yeah
it was great it was great
so we're going to start again and this time we're going to have a new like my friend monticus you
know monticus lewis we play dirty with him he's come up with this friend this scheme for how we
can run the orcs nest more efficiently um and it's like going to be this three-tiered command
structure with like three three-tiered command structure with three-tiered accommodations.
So the peasants get a little shack to live in,
and then you've got the trusted orcs who are like the lieutenants,
and they have to live in the shack, but they can come into the main keep.
And then you've got the top orcs, the knobs, and we're in charge,
and we have secret codes and all this kind of stuff.
So it's completely separate.
We don't have to mingle with the peasant class, and it's going to be great fun wow my god when is it starting uh probably like almost a week
today we have to start again get everyone logged in because we honestly when we have like 20 or 30
people all gathering it'll be when this podcast goes out yeah probably yeah probably that evening
we'll probably start again if the wipe happens that are on time um because sometimes it can be
a bit slow but it's so when you log into the fresh server and there are no buildings anywhere it's amazing
like it's just it's just incredible people just go insane and you're all just spears and bows if
someone finds a gun they're like the king of the server um wow and you sort of you build up your
castle and you've got to find a good place and animals are like a real problem you haven't got
any guns so if there's a bear you're like holy shit we're gonna lose like eight people to this bear um it's really good it's really
really exciting great game man i've also been playing rust a lot this week i joined period for
a bit checked out the uh orcs nest and stuff it was very impressive um and then i went off on their
server to try to to build my own place i wanted to like build my own house and just go through like the throes of rust sort of thing.
And it was pretty challenging.
I got killed a few times.
I killed a few naked people.
It was pretty fun.
And then I switched server completely
and went off on my own to try to like,
you know, make my own little kingdom or whatever.
I recorded that as well, posted a video of it.
And apparently like two hours later
everybody had seen the video people went on found my house fucking blew it to smithereens killed me
stole all my shit uh and then a bunch of people started trying to rebuild it as a memorial site
so like i was all night i was getting tweets from people with screenshots of like, hey, you know, we just found your dead ass body and your house is half blown up,
but we tried to rebuild it for you.
And we've put a whole bunch of signs up and everything.
So later on, I'm going to play and go check it out and start again from scratch.
Because man, that game is so unforgiving.
It's so hard, but fuck, it's so fun.
It's crazy.
So it's so much fun.
And it's gotten so much better.
There are some downsides.
The hacking is a problem.
And they have recently,
they've done things like grass is now much lusher and thicker.
It looks beautiful when you're on your own,
but when you're in a group of like 20 or 30 people
and you're trying to attack a base
around big player structures with lots of players
and lots of combat, the game lags really badly.
So the next thing they need to do is work on the optimization of that. game lags really badly so the next thing they
need to do is work on the optimization of that because it's really hard to have those big fights
when it's just lagging like i i mean i've got a really good machine brand new machine is really
good and i still get problems with the the lag because it's just underperforming i think but um
yeah i think it's probably to do with the amount of info that could be transferred via the network.
You know,
that's always the problem with large groups of people.
It's not necessarily the graphical issue of rendering large groups of people.
It's,
it's the issue of,
of getting all of their network information together and distributing it to
50 people from 50 people to 50 other people is pretty tricky.
I remember Eve online fleet battles were just like one frame
per second slow-mo thing for now though right so basically the eve online battles now happen in
like slow-mo like over six hours or whatever i never liked that because it's like it's all right
guys it's meant to be slow it's like what a fucking cop out geez yeah but yeah no rust is
great i've been playing it a lot i've been i i've been playing that a lot
this week and i've been playing um hyper light drifter which i picked up too which is very fun
so far it's really weird and confusing but it's like very pixely sort of um i guess it's like
a bit like um binding of isaac in the sense that it's sort of like, I don't know, like sort of minimalist isometric sort of thing.
You have like a bit of health or whatever,
and you have to dodge things and, you know,
figure out patterns of stuff attacking you or whatever.
It's a little bit unforgiving, can be a bit hard.
And you sort of progress through these like areas of this map
and get to bosses and collect keys and stuff it's pretty fun actually
it's nice i like it i would recommend it well there you go uh i've never played it sorry i
was just distracted there's some building work going on outside my window and it's like yeah
i was distracted because some wood pigeons has gone to buy it and he's playing it right now
some wood pigeons literally have made a nest on my roof
and they keep flying out the window.
So Sip starts talking about this game he's played
that neither of us are interested in.
So as soon as he said Hyper Light Drifter, we both tuned out.
I looked out the window at these guys.
I got the shots from their big bag of sand there.
You guys are the worst.
P-Flex starts looking at pigeons.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thinking about how to pronounce Jif and Gif all the while, too,
so that you can team up on me again.
But they fly right at the window here
and then veer up at the last second to land on the roof.
And I hear them walking around up there and tootling to each other.
I kind of want to see what they're up to with a mirror on a pole.
Just having a little toot-a-loot to each other.
Anyway, Hyper Light Drifter is pretty good.
It's pretty fun.
It's nice looking, too, if you like pixels and pixel animation and art and stuff.
And it's fun.
You just go around and chop things with this sword and you get a gun and stuff.
It's cool.
I'm going to try and pick up Dark Souls.
People have said it's good.
Too hard. Yeah, so that's officially out this week. stuff it's cool yeah i'm gonna try and pick up dark souls oh you said it's good too hard
yeah that's so that's officially out this week it just came out like two days ago or whatever
by the time this podcast comes out everyone will be like sick of it yeah probably yeah speaking of
pretty good i want to give a shout out if i may to a guy called john boys b-o-i-s-S. It's J-O-N-B-O-I-S.
I think that's his name on Twitter.
He works for SB Nation, which is like a sports network.
And he does a series called Pretty Good,
which he just takes a thing that he's kind of interested in
that's pretty good.
Like he does a thing about the guy.
I don't know if you remember this, Sips.
It was a guy who decided he was going to go up
as high as he could on a lawn chair
that he had tied helium balloons
onto did you hear about this vaguely yeah the simpsons had a reference to it one time he basically
had yeah it rings a bell it was a regular lawn chair he had a little packed lunch with him a
camera and an air pistol to shoot the balloons so that if he got too high he could shoot the balloons
and come back down that's right and he decided to just go up as high as he could and he went
way higher than he ever would have anticipated he was like thousands of feet in the air and he's
on a walkie-talkie to his wife on the ground he's like holy shit i'm really high up he drops the
pistol so he can't shoot the balloons he's just like drifting that they he's they have to ground
all these flights and everything anyway he so he did a video about that. He did one about that Russian guy that came within a whisker of launching all the Russian nukes.
Oh, yeah.
I think it was the 60s.
And that's really interesting.
And he does ones about...
It was sort of like a solar flare or something, wasn't it?
No, I believe what it was was because the system that they have
involving satellites involved looking along
the sort of line of the horizon from a great distance.
And if you're looking at that distance, you should see flares of the rockets being launched,
silhouetted against the sort of the background, if you like. So the problem was the sun came up
and hit these mountains in just such a way that it looked like a launch. It's something like that.
So he does these videos. They're about 10 or 14 minutes long. And they're brilliant. They're absolutely brilliant. He's got a load of them.
He's got like seven of them out and they're tragically underviewed for the amount of effort
he puts into them. I definitely want people to watch his stuff. And he did a really funny series
called Breaking Madden, where he just destroys the game of John Madden and creates characters
that are like insanely overpowered or like ridiculously bad. Or he tries to make this one
insane play
um it's brilliant all this stuff is brilliant and he should be he should be way bigger than he is
sorry did you did you just say something because uh oh it's a well done sips well done yeah because
like a family of pelicans just moved into my garage and i was watching the nest with each
other and oh man were you talking?
Yeah.
No,
that sounds cool.
Actually,
I'll,
I'll,
I'll check it out.
I like the break,
the sound of breaking mad.
And that's great.
There's a character called beef tank where he makes him the smallest,
lightest guy he can,
but gives him all the biggest physical stats he can.
And he just runs through the enemy team.
So he makes the,
he makes the opposition team as low as little and stupid as he can and sees
how,
how good beef Tank can be.
It's like the whole saga of Beef Tank is amazing.
So yeah, his series are really good.
You'd love it, Sibs.
It sounds good. I like that.
You wanted to do a sort of similar thing, didn't you, with Football Manager?
I did do Breaking Football Manager, which was a complete rip-off,
and I acknowledged that in the video.
But Football Manager is not as...
Like, he edits his videos really well.
He spends a lot of time on them.
Because it's a bit more graphical and interesting, it was easier to see.
So I did a thing where I just made a league where all the teams were amazing at one thing.
So one team was all about pace.
One team was all about strength.
One team was all about finishing.
But they all had one in every other stat.
But it's much harder to have football manager run like that because it automatically
beefs up certain stats so even if you try to set everything to one it'll set it to 10 and say oh
you can't have that like it's no player would have 20 strength and one stamina or whatever so it it
you know you can't do it unfortunately but um i wish i could because i'd love to try that but it
was it was uh it was interesting but i you know it wasn't worth continuing. It wasn't pretty enough the way Madden is.
Man, I have not played a Madden game for so long.
I think the last time I played a Madden game was Madden 95 or something.
It was a long-ass time ago.
Apparently now the graphics and stuff are fucking hyper-realistic.
Yeah, it's incredible.
If you get an injury, it does like that Sniper Elite thing where it shows you a close-up of their knee.
It's like cracking.
And so you know it was a knee injury and stuff like that.
But yeah, I mean, it looks incredible.
The guys like to bounce off each other in just the right way.
Nice.
But the problem is like, A, it's a console game.
And I don't own a console.
Like I used to have on my ps3 i had madden
and baseball games and stuff but the other problem is they're way more fun when you play against
someone else and i don't know anyone around here that plays games because i live in like mom and
dad central so my my mates live way over in london they don't play games anyway none of my neighbors
are going to come over and play madden so i'm just like playing against a computer is kind of boring yeah that's the problem isn't it
like with stuff like that especially like console games like couch games where you need to have
somebody there to play like as you get older you know you don't just have people that can come over
and play couch games with you anymore sort of thing like you know I know with FIFA you could
play that online against other people but I didn't dare because i was just terrified of getting completely stomped by a
10 year old exactly really good fucking idiot fucking suck granddad i can't take this i just
don't like this yeah no i know what you mean oh man what about you lewis games have you been
playing anything recently?
Well, I couldn't really play anything when I was at yours.
I only got back on Monday.
And so I came in on Monday and I played a bit of Vectoria with Duncan,
which I'm still loving.
Honestly, like that game, if they can add some more mods to it,
if they add some more stuff to it, I could just play that game forever.
I'd play it through again.
If they add some more stuff to it, maybe some more power options.
I'd play it through again for sure. um i think that's just it's really good i i
we've we finished off our master of ryan game which was not great but um i'm looking forward to
stellaris and uh yeah i'm sure there will be a new right civ game oh yeah we should do another
game but stellaris looks amazing and Hearts of Iron
4 comes out soon I'm super
hyped for both those titles yeah
I'm actually excited for that you're a big
fan of the grand strategy stuff aren't you
love it flex yeah
I love dropping a bit of grand strategy and then Warhammer
Total War at some point is coming out too
I love a bit of grand strategy me yeah if I can
if I can play it that's gorgeous do you ever play any of the
hardcore ones like Crusader Kings and fucking Victoria and stuff?
Do you know what I haven't?
I haven't really delved into Europa Universalis and Newt Scraton.
They're great games.
They've always been at arm's length from me, I'm afraid.
But yeah, I'm looking forward to the Hearthstone Expansion.
They keep trickling out these cards week by week.
They've been doing it for months now, it feels like.
Do you know what? It's such a brilliant way to hype up an expansion just to release like one card with they're giving all the pro the pro streamers and stuff cars to release as
well to just i mean honestly they didn't give one to terps terps went all the way out there and they
didn't even give him a card well yeah because he's not really big enough is he unfortunately
um they wanted this they basically
said we'll give you one if you promote it on the main channel kind of thing they're really
doing it like hardcore full-on promotion like you know right these these twitch streamers are
supposed to make youtube videos about it and they're getting like hundreds of thousands of
views because people are interested in it's really interesting actually but yeah so they released um
some of the new old
gods so i think all of the old gods have been announced now that are going to be like the 10
mana cost massive cards and so the the latest one was um yog saran who is basically when you cast
him he his battle cry is that he will cast a random spell for every spell that you've cast
the game so maybe you've cast like maybe you've cast like maybe you're playing like a frost mage okay and so you start off and you like frosting over them and you
fire blast and freeze them all and just keep you know keep them controlled right flame strikes and
blizzards and all that you get to 10 mana you drop your yoxaron and he casts like 10 random spells
now the problem is is that they're targeted randomly as well right so he might cast
a free pyroblast and it might hit him it might hit you it might hit anyone right it might hit a one
one imp you know who knows right and then also a lot of the a lot of the spells in the game are
buffs right but they're randomly targeted too so if you've cast it because if you're playing a
frost mage the likelihood is you're not gonna have anything on your board but they're likely to have some stuff that you want to get rid of
okay especially at 10 mana and so the problem is that when they look at the maths of this thing
almost every time he maybe this will change okay maybe when we actually see in real life because
people have made a yogsron simulator okay um to simulate what would happen
so you know i could just press simulate here and it's like bear trap okay bear trap casts on
you'll obviously trap for yourself but it's not really very good at 10 mana next next spell
blessing of wisdom cast on enemy um minion oh great you know next spell renounce darkness that's
the warlock spell that that that um discards that that you know basically turns you into a paladin no useless mind vision
great you get one card uh wisps of the old gods okay you summon like seven wisps great do you see
what i mean it's kind of it's kind of weird and um and you end up putting like blessing of kings
on your opponent's guy and and like sometimes I think like playing Yogg-Saron,
unless you've played, first of all, you have to play like 10 spells,
which is pretty challenging for most decks to play
because you only get 30 cards, right?
If 10 of them are spells, sure, you can like, you know,
arcade into it, you can get some extra spells from some things
like play a Jewel Scrabble and get an extra spell or whatever.
But generally, I feel like 10 spells is is a good a
good number if you're building a deck around your sarong to get by the time you play that sounds
crazy and man i just i just i just don't think it's very good so yeah the other the other old
girls are quite interesting i don't know if you've seen those ones just like but they're interesting
i haven't kept up with it at all like i got really salty with hearthstone and just we've been talking
about it for a long ass time before we were recording actually oh sorry let
me just shut the window because the guys next door are doing some building work hold on it's
those pigeons they're trying to sell each other pigeons i am totally hyped up about it actually
i mean the hype train that blizzard have been rolling about this um expansion has really got
to me and it's just it's really exciting and i've
been kind of following it the whole way um and i'm looking forward to it coming out i think it
will change the game in a good way i think what they're doing with standard and wild is good
yeah i like that sounds interesting i'll probably come back and try it yeah when it comes out i'll
probably play it for a couple of weeks before i i get tired of it again um but yeah i mean that's all i need right so i need a couple of weeks of wow a couple of weeks of this a couple of weeks before i i get tired of it again um but yeah i mean that's all i need
right so i need a couple of weeks of wow a couple of weeks of this a couple of weeks of something
you know like when civ 6 comes out that'll be a couple of weeks maybe i'll put a week into dark
souls who knows we'll find out i've been playing lots of gungeon oh yeah enter the gungeon that's
meant to be really hard we played it a little bit while you were over yeah we played like a little
bit of it it's kind of like a
blend between binding of isaac which i've been playing a lot of them really like and nuclear
throne um but i think that binding of isaac is just a stronger game these days after it got remade
and all the additions to it i think it's just it feels to me like binding of isaac's a stronger
game after playing a bit of enter the gun i just didn't didn't like it niles he is the real person too and he's playing it right now actually so um maybe he's got a
different opinion and maybe i will pick it up i know people have been talking about it a lot but
yeah well yeah playing sips heroes of the storm like a lot like most mostly just like in the
evenings yeah it's it's a weird one it's not... It's super casual though. It is pretty casual, yeah. I just play with goons.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we've got like a little group
that just sort of seems to play regularly in the evening.
And then a couple of other people
that I know on Battle.net or whatever
have a little group.
So I usually can get into like a pre-made
and I just stomp around and win and lose.
And it's fairly fun.'s not amazing but it's
casual enough and it's just constant team fighting like there's no sort of i don't know it's not like
you don't get that flow like you get in a game of dota you know where like things start off and you
you sort of jungle or you get you know know, some gold and items and stuff.
Like they've taken a lot of that stuff out of the game
and all you do is just go around as five
and just fucking team fight, which is pretty fun.
My problem with a lot of these games that try to copy Dota
is they don't have the super high sort of late game clutch moments
where it's do or die and the game is lost in one simple thing
like accidentally cancelling your tp might cost you the game if you know in certain instances or
you bought the wrong item or you know you you die back or something and yeah that kind of stuff i i
really like the fact that the the the tension and the sort of the scale of drama of dota in a game
in in most games you know it's a little
back and forth and then one team wins a couple of big fights in a row and it's over that's like the
average game you've been ahead the whole time you just didn't realize it until you start fighting
then you're like holy shit we're so far ahead let's just end and you win it in like 30 minutes
but when you get this game to go like an hour hour and 10 and it's been it's been you've just
been focused the whole time and the drama is just ramping up and up and up and up and it's been it's been you've just been focused the whole time and the drama
is just ramping up and up and up and up and it just gets so tense and i know me and lewis have
had a ton of games like that where it just comes down to like one moment and i don't think that
many other games copy that anywhere near as well and some of the drama no i don't think so it's
just crazy yeah that's the thing if you like all that kind of stuff,
I mean, for me,
like committing an hour and 10 minutes to a game
and while it has its ups and downs and everything
and it's pretty enjoyable,
the thing I like about Heroes of the Storm
is just like 20 minutes is done.
Yeah, yeah.
No matter what.
Yeah, it's like that.
Our team fight decides like the end of the game pretty much
if it's not already just a big stomp
and you're done
you just move on you know like that's all i have time for in the evenings like i don't i can't
really play like an hour and 20 minutes of one game of dota sort of thing as much as i'd like to
i think if i had more time i would but for now i'll just settle for heroes of the storm and it's
grindy ass grinding out heroes and fucking i hate that
the some of the skins like you just have to buy you can't unlock them any other way yeah it's just
like little niggly things like that that kind of annoy me about it but overall i think it's pretty
fun you know the fact that you can just pick it up and play it especially if you have a couple of
people that you know that play it as well it's it's amazing how good blizzard are at making those those kind of games
yeah yeah like they're there's they've got there's enough skill in hearthstone that you can play it
professionally and apparently you know that that's the the nature of hearthstone is that there are
some guys out there who can play it and understand it at such a level but it's also a game that i
can play which i played like two games before we started this morning just goofing around stupid and I can still enjoy that and it's the same with Overwatch I can just drop
in and out of Overwatch haven't played it much honestly it was it's fun enough but again it's
not a game that I get the same satisfaction from I don't feel that any of them create those moments
that you will remember weeks and months later you know that almost has become a bit of a trend
for Blizzard now like I feel like overall anytime I play a blizzard game now i just i leave thinking that was fun
enough but it doesn't blow me away like a blizzard game used to sort of thing you know like the like
when i started playing wow and i got really into wow and yeah playing it like all the time i was
totally blown away by how awesome it was and I enjoyed it and everything I mean I haven't
played it in years and I there are still things that I remember from when I mean I played it a
lot like maybe 10 years ago and it's still really some of the moments and the things I can still
remember the map and the look of it and the items that I had and big raids that we did and all that
so it's still it's burned into my memory and yeah yeah i feel like with their other games there's nothing that's come along that's tried to repeat that it's almost
like they've gone the other way and just making and i'm not i'm not being like dismissive here
but they're almost like the mobile gaming of pc gaming i think in a way and then it's just
something you tap away and yes it's fun enough but it's not going to stay with you yeah it's sad in
a way but i i i tend to agree like
overwatch i was really excited for i thought fuck you know this is you know new ip you know they're
going to be able to do like some crazy stuff with this it's going to be really good it's going to
be really exciting and i like i just i i left i got into the the beta and stuff and i played it
and i was just really underwhelmed like you know I just thought really
this is it you know like after all that I just thought I was expecting the game maybe my
expectations were too high I thought you know fuck this game is just gonna blow me away and it really
didn't and like now I'm just a bit bummed out about it like I don't even care when it releases
I haven't pre-ordered it you know I'll probably play it but but you know it's gonna be
huge it's not gonna be like one of those things for me like like wow was or or you know like when
starcraft 2 came out fuck i was so hyped and i loved it so much and everything like i couldn't
wait for a new starcraft to come out and everything and it was like i just don't feel like that about
overwatch at all do you suppose that the reason that they've gone and i mean it's obviously a very deliberate decision from them um do you do you remember they were making that
game that was going to be some kind of an mmo thing there was going to be this vast and complicated
thing and then they abandoned it i can't remember what it was going to be called i think it yeah it
was um it was like called like um titan project titan or something like that. I think it was meant to be Destiny from what I understand.
Right.
And elements of Overwatch featured in that as well.
So it was going to be this sort of like MMO hybrid sort of shooter game
that just ended up becoming Destiny in the end.
Right.
And they sort of had a bunch of leftover assets
and stuff and they were like maybe we should just make this like you know team fortress style
you know shooter game do you suppose that that the fact that they almost got their fingers burnt
on the project of that kind of complexity like i don't feel like blizzard would try to make wow
again now certainly no certainly that's not the kind of thing that they would make again they would make something that was kind of like wow but way more just fun and goofy and you can
dip in and out of it and that's i kind of feel like what i really would love to see from blizzard
is they've got so many different games that already fill that niche and they're making a
fortune from them i mean there must be the one of the richest games companies in the world if not
the rich they've got to be, yeah. So why not?
Let's see Blizzard do a game that's got real depth and complexity and is a real, you know, you can really get your teeth into it
and doesn't just cater to the casual crowd.
Because Blizzard are big enough now that if they put a game out like that,
I think people would fucking love it.
I really do.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, it's a
hard one i think that they i think that they're really into esports and they want all of their
games to become esports which is you know understandable i'm not sure they are actually
i don't think they are i think they strive to i don't think they always get it no i honestly don't
think i mean when they made hearthstone i don't think they were, their pitch wasn't,
this is going to be an eSport.
And I mean, Heroes of the Storm is clearly not meant to be a big eSport.
But that's the same, some companies are actively fighting
against their game becoming an eSport.
Like Super Smash Brothers is something which Nintendo
actively don't want to become an eSport.
And people want it to be.
I don't think the games company gets to decide
whether their thing becomes a successful eSport or not in these days. I don't know. I don't know. Heroes of the Storm, I think the games company gets to decide whether their thing becomes a successful esport or not in these days.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Heroes of the Storm, I think that they did design it with esports in mind.
It doesn't seem like it maybe,
but the fact that they're doing Heroes of the Dorm
and all of this stuff on ESPN and everything
shows me that, yeah, they're trying to promote it
and have it become like a legit esport. But I think to them them it's like we can get in on some of that esports this is a little
bit like just having all the package shit it's like saying okay i want to i want to i made a
game i want to promote it and then you give it to an agency and they say okay we're gonna take it
out to twitch streamers and youtubers we're gonna make billboards we're gonna do everything we're
gonna do this we're going to do that but esports is just one of these other things which they do as part of the release of a game
now and it's just it's kind of done by the community people they don't care they don't
really think about maybe they'll add a few little spectator modes and stuff in in back end to
facilitate it but really they don't care i think blizzard games overwatch and um here is a storm
are pretty clowny now and like not like they feel kind of quite
they don't feel they don't take themselves too seriously not that they've ever really done but
but nowadays even more so you know here's a storm is very loosey-goosey with how like you know you
can have like clown costumes and alternate world versions like good versions of bad versions of
famous heroes it's nice it's nice to have that but it's a business universe it's very close to us
anyway let's um let's go through the questions that the uh people have for us uh before we end
this podcast all right i've got them ready oh i'm glad you have oh man i am always super ready
like it took me five seconds to do it before we started so we record the podcasts on thursday mornings at
10 a.m so sips tweets out at 10 a.m on thursday if so if you want to ask questions to us i guess
send them at like 9 55 yeah yeah i check my feed i check my twitter feed regularly so put them in
there and i'll put them in a notepad all right first one is from a person
named merely a follower um merely a follower asks any plans for guest appearances for the
triforce podcast pretty good question i think we kind of touched on this last week when we said
that we were happy just having it us three and our dynamic and that was the format of the show sort of thing but
terps wants to be in it um right but i guess like uh i don't mind i don't mind but i think that i
think that we got we got i think we got the decent i think we got the format locked down we'll see
how it goes yeah um if one of us was away for some reason, let's say, then I think having someone in to sort of as a guest.
That would work, yeah.
But I think that what would happen is if one of us was away,
if I was away, you know,
you could fill in for me with someone else.
That would be easy.
But if Sips was away, me and you would record some Dota.
And if Pflex was away,
me and Sips would record some other stuff for the channel.
So I feel like the only chance that someone you
want to have a guest in is if i'm going to be away um so yeah but i mean we can always work
around that consider recording together yeah we could do yeah but like i'd like to watch that
i i think like i think guest appearances and stuff it's a weird one right because we have a big
network of people that we do content with that we hang out with and stuff like terps or whatever but and like no offense to terps i'd like to have
them on but like if we were going to get an actual guest i would like it to be someone outside of our
network somebody that we don't really know somebody who's like maybe like you know some big game
developer some big fucking name and something or whatever, you know, like let's fucking get Arteezy on here.
You know, it's just somebody that is well-known in some other circle sort of thing
that, you know, I don't know much about.
You know what?
A game developer would be great.
Like that would be great because we could really grill them about games design
and what's going through.
I mean, I'd fucking love that.
That would be amazing.
Yeah.
Or a famous person, an actor. Yeah. Like let's I'd fucking love that. That would be amazing. Yeah. Or a famous person.
An actor.
Yeah.
Like, let's get Tom Cruise on here.
Tom Cruise.
We'll get Tom Cruise.
Okay.
Tom Cruise.
You know what?
Actually, wait.
Would you want Tom Cruise on here?
Like, would you want to talk to Tom Cruise?
Not necessarily.
But honestly, like, it would give us so much fucking exposure.
It'd be crazy.
Yeah, but I don't think you could do an hour and a half.
I think you could probably give us, like, max yeah busy man yeah no i don't know
if you like i mean that's a problem for me if you're famous and you're listening to this
yeah let's know if you want to be on a podcast a really mediocre podcast and you're not a
scientologist get in touch and you're not a scientologist. I'm not first. I am. Well, I'm accepting.
If you're a woman, especially, I mean, I don't know about male guests. Yeah, we'd like some female company here on the podcast.
Yeah, if you're Jennifer Lopez, you know.
What if dad women fall out of the hat?
If you're, say, Sam Fox or something like that, get in touch.
Oh, shit.
Cindy Crawford, circa 1986.
Get at me.
Helena Christensen.
Pamela Anderson.
Naomi Campbell.
Pamela.
Marilyn Monroe.
So, yeah, guest appearances.
Well, I don't know.
Nothing's set in stone, right?
I mean, I say all this.
Terp's probably going to be on the next one.
So, we'll just see.
Next.
The next question comes from Ngy um and says i mean
we've all played wow since the wow expansion is coming soon will you be playing it what are your
opinions on the current state of the game i will definitely be playing it i'm looking forward to
it current state of the game i can't comment on because i played um draenor for like a month and then i haven't played again since
so no i mean i i generally i like how much they cram into an expansion i kind of like the systems
that they keep putting into wow and the different things that you're able to do i like now that you
can you know raid uh without having to have like a big try hard raid group i like like looking for
raid and all the casual stuff that sort of suits my uh lack of time to play like a big try hard raid group. I like like looking for raid and all the casual stuff
that sort of suits my lack of time
to play like these big games or whatever.
So yeah, generally still pretty happy with it.
I feel like I get good value
out of playing an expansion for a month
and then moving on with my life sort of thing.
Pretty happy with WoW in general.
I don't think it's going to be around forever,
but as long as it is around
and they keep, you know, innovating stuff and adding new shit to be around forever but as long as it is around and they keep innovating stuff
and adding new shit to it, I'm pretty happy
with it
Yep
Next!
Okay, next
Max, a man named Max
Sips, if you're given the
chance to, because this is a bit of a long one
if you're given the chance to become immortal
okay, so you can't die you can't die of old age there's no aging or anything you'll never age with the
catch of being sent back 3 000 years in the past would you do it i fucking would to be honest i
think that'd be great i mean you can't die right so like i think the first sort of like 2 000 years
would be a little bit shitty, kind of boring.
There wouldn't really be much to do or whatever,
but you could like influence like small villages
and, you know, just become like the leader and stuff
and help them along and stuff.
And then once you get to like the medieval ages and stuff,
holy shit, you know, you're immortal,
you can't age or whatever.
You just do what you like leading into like
modern day society and stuff. I don't know. Do what i do you know what i do that's a long
ass time i'd go back 3 000 years and i would start a religion and since i'm immortal people
would automatically believe like i'm going to assume we're unkillable and uninjurable we're
just with just this immortal perfect being that cannot be harmed right so you can't die my religion
is super super nice and chill and it's just literally no no we're all just going to get
along and everything's going to be fine and we'll get there's not going to be wars about it we're
just going to be chill there's not going to be any schisms because the rules are going to be real
simple everybody just chill out like really really simple shit and they're not this complicated stuff
that can be misconstrued and twisted it's nice and simple and i'm just gonna say hey guys let's
just chill and see where we're at in 3 000 years and if that doesn't work i'll go back again and
i'll make a new religion that's brutal and and an awful and see what happens then and maybe it'll
work out see i i'm tempted to say that i would want to like just
you know like go off somewhere and not have any influence over anything because i think that like
if you set up a religion and you were immortal you know you don't know what's going to happen
in 3 000 years you know like what if they like never bother getting around to creating dota
pflex because they're too busy worshiping you i'll be
like that'll be one of the early tenets is right guys in about 3 000 years we're gonna have a game
called warcraft 3 and we're gonna need to mod that and create though i mean you know you're not gonna
you're not gonna influence the world too much but i think that could be a healthy way you could if
you arrange these sticks into a lane pattern and you pretend that all of these little rocks are heroes that can level up to...
Yeah, you can teach cavemen how to do it,
and then that'll just go through the ages until finally it's developed.
I don't know. It's a tricky one.
I think you have to worry because, first of all, one man can't influence very much.
My feeling on this is that if you got sent back
3 000 years you're likely gonna be you know what happens is you're only one man you know there's
gonna be wars there's gonna be fights you're gonna be even if you're a charge or the leader
or they find they can't kill you as soon as they find they can't kill you whoever's in charge is
gonna lock you up in a cage and unlock you the key. Imagine you got buried underground, right?
Oh, my God.
Wow, that would suck.
And you were stuck down there for 2,000 years.
You think you did somehow manage to get out, though?
Not even Kill Bill style, but you'd have all the time in the world
because you couldn't die, so you'd just slowly dig your way out, I guess?
I think you wouldn't.
I think you'd go insane.
I think you would literally go insane.
Because you know what it's like for people who are trapped on their own in a cage for a long time.
They go completely fucking mental.
You would lose your mind.
I think it would be horrible.
I think what you'd have to do is you'd have to be very careful.
So I'd probably use my knowledge to get some sort of high- high level position like a wizard or something right
early on yeah okay because i know some stuff about chemistry and basic things you know a little bit
about history too so maybe you'd be like an oracle okay and i'd use that power to establish my own
um like island nation okay like maybe in like somewhere hot we'll call it america
you'd know it was you'd know it was
there no it could be like i don't know malta or somewhere like that some some island where i'm
like in charge i'm the king i've got i've got my own private army that you know but basically though
the longer you live the more you have time to make these smart investments in what's what's
popular and sell stuff still sell inventions to the world, you know, basic stuff, right?
Like it wouldn't mess up the world too much.
And so I'd be like the moment of this.
You just want to be the only immortal person to ever go to the gadget show,
don't you?
I would be super, I would be super like secure.
This sounds a bit like the man who fell to earth because he does that.
Like he comes from Mars, he comes to earth,
and he patents a bunch of inventions
that make him a load of money,
because obviously he's coming from
a slightly more advanced society.
So it's like an early version,
because obviously it was written in the 60s,
so that he had a Polaroid camera sort of thing,
so you could instantly develop pictures that you'd taken.
And this was like a big gadget,
and I think some batteries he came up with as well. So was stuff like that so he changed things subtly but he wasn't changing
the past he was in that present and that's the problem i think i would have to be i'd have to
be quite smart about how i said it i'm like i wouldn't be the king and monarch i'd be like
one of the members of like a council or like a cabal like worm tongue you want to be like
influencing and and obviously what happens
the members of the cabal would slowly like get knocked out but they'd all be anonymous right so
it'd be like white robe red robe blue robe whatever and i'd always be like one of the
one of the mysterious robes and you've thought about this a lot when they die i think i can
rotate them in yeah right how i mean how does immortality work in the sense that like if i was immortal and i jumped
into a volcano like what would happen what would i would i lose all my skin good luck i know but
i know but like so like what's the deal though like do i lose like can my skin i guess you just
sink slowly into the volcano and down the center of the earth where you suffer in burning torment
for for a fresh hell yeah we
need lots of rules that's the problem with immortality can you feel pain when you're
immortal exactly like oh yeah what's the deal here yeah i don't know if you don't feel pain
how can you feel pleasures anyway uh i have one more it's not a question though all right i just
thought i thought i'd change things up a bit this week. This is from Mia. It's actually just a nice compliment for us
to end on a positive
because we've talked a lot about death
and weird shit this time.
Mia says,
thank you for the gold that is your Triforce.
They make the walk to uni the best part of my day.
See, I knew people would use it as walking,
sort of, you know,
like a thing they listen to when they're walking or commuting.
That's really nice.
Yeah, that's lovely.
Thank you very much. That's a really nice Yeah, that's lovely. Thank you very much.
That's a really nice one.
Thanks, Mia.
Thank you, Mia.
And thank you everyone else who has listened to
and supported the Triforce podcast.
Thank you to Sips.
Thank you to Pier and Flax.
My pleasure.
Thank you to Pier and Flax's wife.
And for sorting the shopping out.
And thank you, of course, to me.
Thank you, Lewis.
And your bankers.
Thanks.
That's good.
We'll see you all next week for some more of this bum fluff.
All right.
Bye.
Take it easy, guys.
Bye.
Bye-bye.