Triforce! - Triforce! #51: Lewis Van Gogh
Episode Date: August 23, 2017Triforce! Episode 51! Pyrion breaks down TI7, Sips murders thousands of snails and Lewis becomes a budding artist! Â Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcast...choices.com/adchoices
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at Real Canadian Superstore. Well, two dads and one non-dad. Yes. And we're back. After all this time, it's been a while.
It's been a good long while since we've done another Triforce podcast.
It's been two weeks.
Yeah.
Two weeks.
So this won't go out for another week.
Well, that's the thing because it's the summer vacation.
So everybody's like away doing stuff.
The kids are off school.
So we have to look after our kids.
Flax has been at the international, the Dota 2 international tournament
for like two weeks.
Lewis has been just lost in his dungeon apartment.
He just doesn't know how to get out of it most of the time.
And me, I've been here ready, waiting.
Like every Thursday I'm ready to go
and nobody turns up, so whatever.
We didn't do it last Thursday.
We did it the Thursday before that, didn't we?
Because it was that shitty audio from my laptop
we took
yeah oh god
it was terrible
your camera audio
I said you should have
just recorded it
on your fucking camera
and we could have
used that audio
because Jesus Christ
like that's just
it was so bad
anyway
we're back
yeah
we always
we always
apologize right
for not doing
podcasts or missing
a week
but we don't have to
because this is part
of the understanding
of the podcast that we're gonna miss a week we're not even gonna be around next week but we don't have to because this is part of the understanding of the podcast that we're going to miss a week
we're not even going to be around next week
because I'm in Gamescom
well I might be able to remote in from Gamescom
I think we have a responsibility though that we need to
take a little bit more seriously because
some people depend on this you know as their
weekly sort of source of dad news
there's loads of other great podcasts out there guys
just don't worry
don't listen to any of the other podcasts Don't listen to any of the other podcasts.
Don't listen to any of the other ones.
This is the only one.
I've been reading some books.
I've been busy doing stuff, enjoying life, making the most of my time.
You've been reading books?
You've been reading books?
Nice.
Yeah, I finally got around to reading a book that someone bought me for a present a few years ago.
Can I make a prediction here, please?
Go ahead. someone bought me like for a present can i make a guess can i make a prediction here please go ahead
this is going to be one of those books that you read lewis that then becomes mine camp your new
your new your new thing and it's going to be something like uh why you shouldn't close doors
behind you or something like that and you're going to be like you know the thing is closing doors
is actually really bad for the environment and it's going to be like, you know, the thing is, closing doors is actually really bad for the environment.
And it's going to be like a new thing.
And every time I close a door now, you're going to guilt trip me about it.
The noise pollution from slamming doors is causing birds to be very stressed.
It just propagates a lot of unwanted kinetic energy that the universe does not need.
Like there's enough of it out there.
It doesn't need it.
Exactly.
It's terrible so no i've
read ready player one right which is a classic it's being made into a movie it's not a classic
and it shouldn't be made into a movie i'm very disappointed that it's received have you read it
i have oh my dad's a massive fan of this book all right and he said to me you'll love it it's great
it's great it is the most forced attempt at a feeling of
nostalgia that i think i've ever read and it's it doesn't make any fucking sense it's a it's a bad
book right in my opinion and i don't understand why it's received such praise i've heard about it
but i haven't actually read it do i feel like maybe i should read it it took me about five
hours to read so it's not a particularly long one. It's a quick read.
Yeah, it's definitely, you know, I mean, I've lost more
hours than that playing Hearthstone
today, it feels like.
Wow, God. Do you know what I mean? So, I mean,
some of these books I've been
putting off, I've realised actually that they're not
as long-winded as I thought, especially
bearing in mind how long I play
some of these games. So, by the way,
you know Divinity? We used to play Divinity 2 in that RPG, right?
Just as an aside.
The salt mine.
Yeah, that almost broke up our flourishing friendship.
Well, that's the thing,
because Larian put out this RPG player survey
where they surveyed like 15,000 people who played Divinity.
Now, I guess they sourced the people from,
I guess maybe people who visit Divinity website Now, I guess they source the people from, I guess maybe people who visit
Divinity website or follow the Divinity Twitter
or that kind
of people. And so, the people
who responded to this survey are definitely
very strange. But one of the things I noticed was that
one of the questions was,
what do you feel is the ideal length of an
RPG? What's your answer
to that, guys? Mine is like about
80 hours, think it was oh
that's quite long i'm like i'm old school with my opinion on this i'm i'm gonna say between 80 and
90 hours final fantasy style from like the 90s i i thought that was like a good amount of time to
play an rpg good like character development decent enough story you can fit into sort of 80 to 90
hours without it like waffling along too
much sort of thing sidetracking too much i mean the witcher 3 i felt was very long and that i
completed that in 50 hours okay it says i think if you just didn't do all the side quests i mean
i'm sort of i i'm i'm i'm guessing about halfway through it right now i'm playing it where are you
in the witcher 3 i've i've pretty much just finished up Novigrad main quest so the next main quest I have
is to go to Skellige so but there's absolutely tons of stuff to come but
yeah but I've done a lot of I've done a lot of side tracking I've done a lot of
secondary quests and like Witcher contracts and stuff which I've enjoyed
yeah but I think like I get the feeling that if you just stick to the main quest
and you don't bother with a lot of the extra fluff,
which you might be missing out on a couple of bits and pieces if you did it,
it feels like it would be about maybe 50 to 60 hours
for the main sort of quest.
Yeah.
Well, I've just looked at a thing,
there's a how long to beat thing,
and it says The Witcher 3 is 167 hours
if you want to do all of it and all the DLC
and every single quest in the game.
Did you do the DLC? I did a bunch.
I've got about 55
hours in the game. I did the DLC.
I did the main story. I did enough side quests
that I enjoyed it. I felt
like I did the side quests until they got very repetitive
which they did.
But I really enjoyed it as a game.
I thought it was a good length. Yeah, you're right I really enjoyed it as a game. And I thought that it was a good length.
Yeah, you're right, Pfax.
So in this survey, 25% of people said
their ideal length of an RPG is 100 hours or more.
And I mean, that is obviously, to some extent,
I think people were just saying,
oh, I just want the most possible out of my game.
A lot of people are just saying,
well, I just want a really, really long game.
I mean, I think I understand that, though.
I think with an RPG, it's kind of the same as, like, for me, watching Game of Thrones.
Like, you get immersed in it, and you feel like it's something that you'd like to be immersed in for quite some time.
You know what I mean?
Like, sometimes I'm watching Game of Thrones, and I think to myself, I hope this never ends.
Like, I just love, like, the world that's created.
I like the characters, all, like, the different factions and stuff. And I could watch this for much longer than it'll probably go on for sort of thing but i guess
like anything you know if it goes on too long or if it overstays its welcome then it can start to
become a bit bad or whatever you know what i mean so it's like i don't know it's i i get that people
would want a longer experience but i think you can tell a better story in a shorter amount of time and keep it tight and um you know get your points across exactly i think
it's harder to tell a story across this because a lot of these games the story is often secondary
but rpgs you have to have the story up front and center good and i think that by trying to fill up
empty hours or trying to trying to hit an arbitrary, you end up with a lot of crappy story getting in there,
and that kind of deflates the whole thing.
I think that you're right about,
I think something short will be good.
But the other thing that I really noticed, okay,
that this is the one thing that really jumps out at the survey
is when they start talking about co-op.
So the people who respond to this series
do not want co-op multiplayer, right?
So here, how much do you value these features in an RPG? People who have bought into this series do not want co-op multiplayer, right? Right.
So here, how much do you value these features in an RPG?
Okay.
So story rich.
Yeah.
Like basically everyone said very important.
Okay.
It's like 90% very important.
Tactical combat, people didn't care.
They were like moderately.
They were like in the middle on that one.
Character progression, massively very important to them.
Co-op, not important at all.
Massively.
90% of people said co-op for them is just not important in an RPG at all.
Which is really interesting because we really enjoyed RPGs,
but also we did argue a lot.
We did kind of fall out in this weird way. I think that when people play role role-playing games like when you play dungeons and dragons or something it's a social experience
right yeah but when you play a role-playing game on the pc i think people see it as a chance to
enjoy a world just just on their own without having to worry about someone else wanting to do the same
thing and if you think about computer games if you i mean i play a lot of doter as you guys know
and you're relying on four other people it gets frustrating when you're relying on other people
and you can see what they're doing wrong and they're not doing it and it's the same in rpgs
if you're like let's go down this corridor and you're like no guys we should go down this corridor
it's like if you're a single player game which a role-playing game generally is you could just
get out whichever flipping corridor you want i think think that's it. There's no argument.
I think it's very difficult.
The other thing that we found when we were playing together
was that we were never reading any story.
We were never sort of stopping at our own pace.
We were almost always dictated by other people's pace,
and their pace usually was more...
Sometimes it wasn't.
Sometimes you wanted to be slow,
and sometimes they wanted to be slow.
But you were never quite in sync because you're're different people when you're interested in slightly different things
and different ways in that rpg because that yeah you know it felt like the experience is definitely
different isn't it like yeah like you said you don't read the story as much when you play with
people but the experience of playing through it with other people you almost don't really need
the story you know what i mean you're just coming up against problems that you're trying to solve. Yeah. Yeah. So it's,
it, it opens it up for you to have your own story as a team of people working together.
Whereas yeah, the single player experience, you are going to just be really invested in the story.
It's, it's almost like it's two separate games, like single player and then co-op,
which I think is kind of cool actually. Like, you know't i personally i don't think i would play divinity alone i'd i'd rather play it with you
know somebody or or you know like you guys like a group of people because i found that more more
fun than just playing through it all by myself like you know as much as i probably would have
liked the story i would have skipped a lot of it yeah but it still felt like a single player game
that we were playing co-op like i think that was my my issue with it is it it didn't feel like you
sometimes you want to do something or try something and the other people don't want to do that and in
a single player game obviously you could do whatever you like so like when i play the witcher
i i have that freedom and because it's a big open world you can pretty much do whatever you like now
if we were playing the witcher three player but one thing would you guys have followed me around for 20 hours while
i went and got every gwent card in the game no and that would be incredibly boring for anybody
else so it's like that is a real thing you paid me money i would have maybe geez and the second
time through that i played it first time through as far as where i was going to leave for skelliger
i went to skelliger and i immediately thought like in fact this was last TI I had to go to TI so I came back and I'd forgotten
how to play it and I just it sat on the shelf I just played Dota for three months and then I tried
to pick it back up again and it didn't work so I had to start again from scratch and I was glad I
did that because I played it through slightly differently and I actually really enjoyed it I
think it's a fabulous game definitely one of the one of the best games I've ever played.
And if I'd had to play it with another person,
I think it would have been a completely different experience
and nowhere near as fun.
That's just the way I see it.
Yeah, certain games, I think with The Witcher,
being that you control one character
and it's pretty straightforward,
like the combat is not really strategic
apart from parrying and dodging and you
know killing a group of guys that get the jump on you or whatever whereas in divinity you know
like a fight can last for like an hour oh yeah depending on how you how you cut it and how your
guys are built it's much more strategic much more yeah yeah every freaking fight in in bloody
divinity was was a strategic battle because you bump into something that seems fairly simple
and you get wiped out by it and you're like jesus there's no fighting in this game that's easy
i did enjoy a lot playing with you guys i did too like it's a hundred percent different experience
but i think that sometimes i think a lot of the people on the survey right are very single player
focused because i think the tradition that's what rpgs have been and and
a little bit like reading a book you know you do get into it um and you do you do want that
sometimes i want that experience but when i play games these days i try not to play them
solo i feel like if i'm gonna do something solo it can be off the computer yeah i mean another
thing to consider as well as in my own bedroom where we're coming from. We do this for a living, right?
We play these games.
We earn a living off of it.
I'm not sure that the three of us would play Divinity together
and finish it from start to finish
without it being recorded and putting up somewhere.
You know what I mean?
I don't know, though.
Maybe not us, but I think other people do, right?
I was looking around.
One of Jane in the office was playing through Borderlands 1 and 2
with some of her friends, and they were doing that just offline for fun.
It was like a thing, and they really had a good blast going through that.
I know, period.
People play games for fun.
Unbelievable.
Anyway, so we're kind of intertwined with the business side.
So you're back for TI.
What was your verdict compared to previous TIs?
Go on, let's have a rundown of what we'd be doing in our lives.
Wow, holy, that was a segue.
Jesus Christ.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I was just looking at that survey.
It just made me think.
That's all.
It made me think a little bit.
So TI this year was very mechanical, it felt to me, compared to TI6.
TI6, I think, was most people that I've spoken to, that was their favorite.
That was the previous TI, obviously.
And it felt like it had a bit more charm and a bit more humor,
but it also had great games and great storylines.
And it was just, it was fantastic.
It was a brilliant TI.
It had a great meta as well.
Like it was a very, very good version of Dota. It was a very, very good version of Dota.
TI7 also had a very good version of Dota.
Wonderful games, like some wonderful games.
And Liquid winning it was brilliant.
It was a brilliant run that they made.
And it was like an against all odds thing.
All the Chinese teams seemed unbelievably strong, beat everybody else.
And Liquid just did it.
And some very clutch games, wonderful performances.
And the games were great but they went for this panel this year that was a newcomer to Dota relative newcomer in day
nine I know he's been watching TI for years but he's only started playing like a year ago I think
if that yeah which is which is fine I mean you can watch football without playing it you can watch
Dota without playing it is harder to understand it and a lot of the time I feel like if I didn't play Dota
and I was trying to watch it,
it would be a hell of a lot harder
to follow what was going on.
And I know there are moments
when you're watching it with people
who don't really know the game.
Someone will do something
and people who play the game a lot
will go, ooh, like it's, oh, you know,
you see, yeah, you're like, holy shit.
I understand exactly how hard that was
and what a brilliant play it was
and all the rest of it.
But if you're just watching it as a casual observer,
you'd be sort of like just looking for the team fights,
basically, and the big spells.
You wouldn't see the subtlety to it.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, but even team fights, I think,
are very hard to follow unless you're a Dota player
because they're so quick.
Like stuff that's happening,
you really have to play the game to learn.
Like, okay, this guy's here, this guy's here. These things these things are going to go off you kind of you have to know who's
playing and what to what to predict and what to expect and you only really get that from playing
the game but you i think it is still possible especially the commentators do a great job of
building up the hype so you can still watch it and feel uh that emotion um but i think yeah i
mean sometimes that that's sometimes that's all it is.
If you get a charismatic enough commentator, he can get anyone excited about anything.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, fuck, like, oh my God, this guy's making a sandwich!
He's got a two slice of bread!
He's doing it!
He's putting the butter on!
Oh my God, he's got the ham!
He's got the tomato!
He's got the mustard!
Oh my God!
He's done it!
He's made a sandwich!
Do you know what I mean?
That kind of...
Well, every day. Holy shit? That kind of crazy commentary going.
You could get someone psyched about fucking anything.
I got a lot of respect for Dota 2 commentators, though.
Team fights, like you said, are pretty messy.
It's hard to know what's going on at the best of times.
Even if you play the game, they can be pretty chaotic.
Keeping track of all of the abilities that are going off all the spells and synergies and everything and and these and most
of these guys cast it pretty flawlessly and it's i think it yeah i always i always think that that
must just be such a hard thing to do and you must be so conscious of yourself doing it as well you
know try not to screw up you know and i mean that's i think that the pressure that they
feel that's interesting you say that because i mean these guys have been doing it for a long time
right um and they're very confident and comfortable doing it um the analyst position is a little
harder so you've got your commentator your co-commentator would generally be someone more
knowledgeable and they'll be the ones after the action has been called and it's like a huge team
fight just like lewis was doing with the sandwich they'll come in and say yeah what changed it there was this spell
usage or this item and they'll say didn't manage to get so and so off in time and that was what
turned the fight so they'll spot that one detail that they're meant to do that were that you you
could easily miss but their appreciation the game and their ability to spot that stuff is so much
higher level but to them it's obvious right so so day nine day nine is more like uh i mean i think he's a
commentator like for starcraft 2 right like he knows that game inside yeah he does casting it's
really good yeah i'm a huge fan of course he's brilliant i used to watch his stuff um when i
was into starcraft 2 this is before dota i would watch his podcasts and his uh youtube videos and
him and husky and i would try and learn the videos and him and Husky, and I would try
and learn the game and I'd watch replays. I was really, really into StarCraft. And when he knows
his game, I think he's much more confident. And I feel like they put him on a panel with three
experts. So three either pro or three current pros or ex-pros. And I think it was a very difficult
conversation for him to have because he's coming in from a much lower level of understanding
and they're all talking about the game at a vastly higher level of understanding.
So I think him being able to mediate that conversation is much more difficult.
So I'm not so sure that having three experts on the panel was the way to go for his sake
and I think also for the audience's sake it was uh too much you
don't need three experts because there's generally one agreed version of what happened why did liquid
win they did this better than anyone else okay end of conversation what you have there though
if you have a real expert that's fine but i think that sometimes dota especially even the pros and
all the experts uh don't see everything because it all happens so quick.
And sometimes they get it wrong.
I mean, I imagine that's one of the worst things about being a commentator
is that going onto Twitter or Reddit and just seeing things you've missed,
it's like, oh, shit, actually, yeah, this is, oh, my God, this guy's right,
this guy's right.
And I think that they have to kind of,
these guys have to be confident enough and convincing enough that in in their own stuff they can't be they
can't be unsure about themselves i think having three people to discuss that and bounce off if
if they have a consensus fucking fantastic but i don't know i don't know if you're gonna if there
will be as comfortable if there aren't extra voices and also we know what it's like pflax
to have extra voices there is very useful because you know it means that someone is always waiting to jump in and give their input you never get dead air if you
have four people at the casting desk well but that's the problem it's not about the dead air
it's about trying to have a conversation and imagine if i was saying to you guys uh the
triforce podcast is a podcast that involves me lewis and sips we would all agree on that yeah
what what do you have to add to that?
I mean, if you want to add detail, you can.
I mean, I would probably mention as well
that I'm good-looking, probably.
Right.
I think if you were to rate all three of us
against each other,
I would probably come out tops,
like, considering, you know...
So, you're going with that?
Yeah, I would add that to the conversation.
I would say...
I see.
That Sips guy...
You're the good-looking one.
But see, this is actually more conversation... PFLA more more conversation one with more experience disagreement well then then happened
on the panel no i'd say the panel was like much much less opinion and much more i would move to
censor those opinions immediately because they they contradict my known opinions i'm just saying
opinion is good looking i am opinion opinioninion schmopinion.
Let's talk in absolutes.
Yeah, but listen, another thing that I thought was great on the panel,
like I watched, I didn't watch TI exhaustively.
I watched it, you know, bits and pieces and I enjoyed it.
I like the tournament atmosphere.
The games are very exciting.
You know, the production quality of TI is very nice as well.
And it's just a fun tournament to sort of like keep up is very nice as well and it's it's just a fun
tournament to to sort of like keep up with for the two weeks that it's on for yeah it's exciting
but i i was i was really impressed when they had um they had artesi on the on the panel at one
point yeah that's great and that's great guess like you know guest panelists that have been
yeah yeah and you think you know this guy's a pro. He's not a caster. He's not like,
you know, he's not a panelist
sort of thing, you know, like it'd be interesting
to see what he has to say because
sometimes, you know, these guys, they get up there, they're not
used to like casting or being a panelist.
They're not used to really being interviewed
that much or whatever, you know, they play the game
pretty hardcore and they're
very good at the game, but actually
getting his insights into the game that was coming they're very good at the game but actually getting his insights
into the game that was coming up to see you know he predicted what like the picks were going to be
he predicted what the counter picks were going to be and like that that knowledge of like the patch
and the meta is it's crazy you know like you can play the game so much and and and still not really
have that really specific insight into those picks and counterpicks.
And it was just really interesting to see.
That's kind of what TI is.
It's not really just a measure of skill
because all the players that play at TI are unbelievably good.
Obviously, there are some that are better,
but we're talking about the very top 0.01% of Dota players worldwide
competing at a tournament.
It really is that high level.
So the skill gap between the winner and the team that finished last is not that huge.
It really isn't.
You couldn't honestly say that the players that finished 10th
were way, way, way worse than the guys that won.
Because in other tournaments, we've seen like OG, for instance,
didn't do well at this
TI but they won four majors so one of the things that matters at TI is who understands the game
as it is best played right now like what is the best way to play the game right now that is one
thing and some teams have a better understanding of others of how to win games of Dota in this
patch and the other thing is literally who has the balls and who isn't gonna get scared
that's it like all the players talk about pressure and fear and when they go out there and i mean
imagine walking out you're normally playing this game on your own so going back to what you guys
were saying about co-op games doter is a basically a team game but you essentially play it on your
own you're in your room you're controlling your hero you're watching the other heroes but you're
not controlling them all of a sudden you're in a booth next to the other people you're playing
with and there's like 12 000 people screaming around you lights and all the rest of it and you
know millions of people are watching around the world so that pressure is immense i wonder if it
if there's ever a situation where those pro players are like up on stage in the booth playing with each other
you know playing their heroes getting through a game you know and um you know what one of the
teammates just turning around like right before a team fight is about to to kick off and calling
another teammate a gutless cunt do you think that that's something that doesn't happen in a pro game
you were gutless in that play i watched the video i. I felt bad for what I said, but I was 100% right.
So Pflax watched back
an old Dota video
of him calling Sips that.
And I think that
when we used to play Dota together,
the three of us,
that was just par for the course, Pflax.
None of us batted an eyelid about that.
We and you would have
these incredible arguments,
but both of us would have
this big grin on our face. It's true. Honestly, I've played dota with a lot of people that infuriate me and
i've infuriated a million people when i played it with them still do it like i just i played it this
morning it was great i mean i just love it i mean i've reached this point now where i'm kind of
philosophical about it and when i when i make a mistake or someone makes a big mistake you can
laugh like there's a guy that I play with quite often,
and he was Tidehunter, and he double tapped his blink.
If you don't play Dota, what that means is you blink back towards your own base.
So he was trying to blink in as Tidehunter to Ravage,
which is a big spell that stuns everybody in a huge area.
He was going to blink in, he was going to Ravage,
we're going to win the fight and win the game,
and he double tapped blink and Ravage. So he blinked away from the fight, Ravagedaged and we lost the game now oh geez if i was like your average raging pub player i would never play
with that guy again and i would it would be awful but i play them all the time people fuck up it's
it's funny yeah i don't mind a big mistake like that no but i hate cowardice sips i won't abide
no you don't mind a big mistake so that you can just blame and shame them after the fact and um
but you know carry on like nothing happened that's that's cool flex i get it i understand wow yeah i've seen you play game
sips and you get ridiculously angry we played dirt the other night you were angry that the
hero in lane was using his abilities on you i know i hate that like you were furious i think
if you're gonna fucking stupid games oh i know but he's just casting a spell on you up and play
dota against me don't use your fucking abilities,
okay? Let me win.
I'm a fragile man, okay? I need to
have a couple of wins to have a good
night, okay?
You get into a rut
with Dota, though. You play it
a bit, and then you sort of...
Especially in games, when you're playing
with guys like Shane,
Shane is like
5k mmr so like playing a game with him means that automatically you're going to be playing with
people who are much better than you yeah it's very difficult it's really soul destroying it
sucks playing against people who are very very much so better than you you know what i mean like
i can just about handle a game in solo queue where I'm amongst people that are generally my skill level
or whatever, but playing in games where people are just completely miles ahead of you in terms of
every game mechanic and whatever is, it can be pretty frustrating. It is, but I tell you what,
I veer between playing with people that are way, way worse than me, as good as me or much better
than me. And when I play against the as me or much better than me and when i
play against the people who are much better than me and then i play against the shitters
it is hilarious how much easier the game is like if you play enough against good players
you'll spot the stuff you can't get away with and you'll know exactly how far you can push your hero
because they will yeah when you play against the absolute shitters the game is like oh it's like
easy mode it's wonderful and you just run all over them we want to get it's like a 20 minute stomp just crushed and these kids had no idea
what to do it was brilliant but i guess i guess in terms of if you want to play the game and you
want to get better it's probably better to practice against people that are better than you right
because then you it yeah yeah it's it's a it's a more meaningful sort of practice you you'll right
you'll generally probably improve skill wise playing against people that are better than you as opposed to playing really easy games where you
just stomp people yeah but it's not lazy like if you're just having a calm game of dota in the
evening and you queue into a 5k stack and you're like two and a half k you're not gonna have a fun
time like you're just not you're gonna have to play the five support you're not gonna get any
cool items you're not gonna get many kills you just die a lot and just do the job and win the game it is methodically tediously boring it really can be
yeah so let's move on from dota um what have you guys been up to otherwise you got any like real
life stories playing dota actually like we've just been playing dota so let's talk about Dota a bit more now that we've... So Kurt, Sips' son, sent me some art that he did.
Oh, man.
And he sent me art before.
Man, he's getting really good at art.
I was very impressed with it.
So I was like, can you send me some more?
And he sent me a whole pack of like 20 things he's drawn.
It's like 20 pages of stuff and so i was like damn this is
this is some some serious some serious time has gone into this i feel kind of bad like you know
oh yeah i need to i need to return like it's like if someone texts you um like a selfie of
himself right or something like this it's almost like automatic that you want to that you you have
to reply with at the selfie i don't know maybe that's just me but that you want to that you you have to reply with a selfie i don't
know maybe that's just me but if someone does so for you you have to kind of like do stuff back
right it's kind of a this that's how things go so i feel like i need to do some art right to send
back to your son okay um so i bought a canvas like a couple of canvases right uh half price
and i bought like a starter pack of oil paints. Sure. And so I'm going to paint something for your son.
Great.
Okay.
And send it to him.
On a canvas.
Do not paint a portrait of my wife.
Okay.
That's the only thing that that's that you can't do that.
Okay.
Because it'll, it'll offend her.
I'm sure it will.
Like, wow.
Because self, you know, when people like do a portrait.
She is an oil painting already.
But the thing is, like, you can She is an oil painting already, Sips.
But the thing is, like, you can't do an oil painting of somebody and send it to them.
Okay.
Because like, it's always going to be offensive, isn't it?
Because like, it doesn't matter how good you, well, some people are exceptionally good.
So maybe not, not so much that.
But like, if you have questionable art skills, I don't think you should be doing portraits of people.
My art skills are non-existent okay so don't do not do a portrait of anyone in my family and send it to my family okay
why don't you want because they will be pissed why would they because i can't do it anyway
i mean how are you kidding me because i could give it a go now i'm up for it right okay but
it'll be like some picas you know, crazy surrealist shit.
I'm just curious, Sibs.
You'd be offended by someone doing a portrait of someone in your family?
Not really, no.
But I'm just saying, like, you know.
I'm just curious.
I'm just curious.
Don't do an oil painting of me and give me, like, a bigger nose than I already have or something like that.
It's not going to be like looking into a mirror.
I'm not fucking some sort of renaissance dutch artist who's been commissioned
to sort of get a photo realistic picture do you mean she's gonna be she'll be lucky to have a
fucking no well i'm not sure what the expectation with you're like i got canvas i got some oil
paintings and i got some charcoal and stuff i thought you were a really like hot shot artist that's no i can't do
to me sips i'm garbage like you know but but your son is so so open to like just doing anything it
made me think damn you know he's willing to give it a go so i should be winning in the pictures
that he sent to you did he send you pictures of ghostbusters uh yeah there were like some some
it's like there's probably a lot of of Five Nights at Freddy's characters.
There's a bunch of really cool modern art stuff, which is just colors squashed all over the place.
I really, I was inspired by that.
I just thought, man.
Yeah.
Some of those might have been my daughter's as well.
Okay.
Because she, like when, when my son is like drawing and coloring and stuff, she, she doesn't even know what she's doing, but she, she needs to join in.
Like she has to do
whatever he's doing right and oftentimes like has to use the the crayon that he's using at that time
as well which is kind of annoying because they fight about it and stuff right but so he'll be
sitting there drawing something like like you know the stay puff marshmallow man or you know these
five nights at freddy's characters or whatever and he's got like all this lore behind them he's
talking about them he likes to draw like Pokemons and stuff as well.
Nice.
He started inventing his own Pokemons, which is pretty cute too.
Okay.
So, you know, he's sitting there doing that and he's like talking about what he's drawing
and he's saying like, oh, look at this and stuff.
And my daughter's just trying to mimic everything that he's doing.
So she'll be like, she's got the pen and she'll be like, pen?
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, you're holding a pen.
She's like, pen. It's like, yeah, yeah, you're holding a pen. She's like, pen.
It's like, yeah, yeah, you're holding a pen.
And she's like looking at you so that you tell her what to draw.
So you're like, um, all right, well, draw a picture of a car.
Okay.
And then she just like does like a little mark on the page and looks up like for that
approval.
And you're like, whoa, that's amazing.
And then she starts laughing and stuff.
And then she sort of looks at you again and you're like, uh,
okay,
uh,
draw a ball.
Okay.
Just like a little mark.
Hey,
start clapping and stuff.
I mean,
I feel like that's me and art though.
I'm going to be exactly like that,
you know?
So I don't know what the fuck I can help you.
I got a question.
Go on.
My question is this.
If another man delivered a beautiful painting of your wife to your house.
Yeah.
You'd kill him, wouldn't you?
You'd kill him.
It depends, though.
Like, I don't think I would.
If he was the hunchback of Notre Dame, no, I wouldn't kill him, actually.
I'd fucking kill him.
I wouldn't feel threatened at all.
That's a death sentence.
That's a death sentence in the Flax household.
You'd have to learn more, right?
With a fucking painting of my wife that you've done?
What are you doing?
No, no.
That's an attempted cucking right there.
I tell you what.
Let's get right in the bonfire, and the artist is next.
If Don Draper turned up to my house, okay, rang the doorbell,
and was holding a portrait that he'd painted of my wife,
I'd be like, Don, you better step the fuck off.
You know, get out of here, okay?
Don't let my wife see you, okay?
You're a handsome man.
And I don't want her to think that you're fucking artistic
and in love with her and stuff either.
Go away, please, Don Draper.
But, like, man, if it was like, you know,
fucking Napoleon Dynamite's brother
that turned up with a painting,
I'd be like, whatever, you nerd.
Get out of here, Todd.
Get out of here.
I'll fucking give her the painting and stuff.
I wouldn't feel threatened at all in that case.
Maybe that's just me
but then you're
making a decision
there that is like
is this person a threat
but it's not just
the threat
it's the intention
it's not just whether
they're an actual threat
they're intending to
you'd have a painting
of your wife
painted by another man
hanging on the wall
it's like
permanent reminder
that some other dude
is coveting your wife
well she's seen it
it's too late did she pose for this she's coveting your wife. Well, she's seen it.
It's too late, Sip.
Did she pose for this? She's like, this is beautiful.
And she, no, he's done it from memory, which is even creepier.
Was she naked in it?
Yeah, she's naked and it's clearly painted from a photo taken with a long lens.
Okay, but listen.
Oh my God.
This is beautiful.
This is such a lovely painting.
I'm going to hang this in the bedroom, Sip.
What do you think of that?
And every time we're making love, you can look up see todd it's todd's painting staring down here i know
but the thing is if you're too heavy-handed about it she might start to think like if you were like
no i'm not having that painting up there i'm really close to like this this this open discussion and
stuff she might be like oh maybe maybe i can maybe I can find a confidant in Todd in his loving embrace.
You know, you might push her away.
You don't want to be heavy handed when you're doing that.
No, yeah.
I am permanently heavy handed.
I can't help it.
You don't want to be can-candid with it.
So I would smash it up in front of him right there on the doorstep.
I'd say, can you just wait here for two seconds?
And I'd come back with a claw hammer and just smash it to bits.
I'd say, there you go.
Come back with a blowtorch.
How would you smash it?
It's not a fucking sculpture.
It's a piece of art on a canvas.
Yeah.
What does a canvas have around it, though?
Well, it's got like a wooden sort of backing.
What do you think a core hammer will do to that?
Short work.
It'll make short work of that piece of so-called art.
He's put like a lot of hours into that.
Listen, what if it was incredibly unflattering?
And you thought, oh, God.
The hammer goes in him, right in his dome.
Wow.
This is all pretty extreme.
I don't know.
What do you think the ramifications of these actions?
I think your wife would think that you're a fucking psycho, for starters.
Yeah.
She knows what I am.
I think it's causing too much trouble.
Not only claw hammer a portrait, but then claw hammer a man in his dome.
I wouldn't actually hurt another human being so
no of course not the threat of it is lingering i think you've got this all wrong guys look if he
comes in right and he's like oh you're like oh you've done a painting good for you come and come
and see and what and you watch the awkward interaction as he presents it to your wife
you just let him dig his own grave. He's not going to suddenly
sweep her off her feet and she'll go,
Oh, Todd, you've come back after
all these years. I've been thinking about
you every night. I have to wake up
and look at that bald head.
I've been thinking about your long
Amazonian hair.
A hairy man, a hair
having man comes to my house with a portrait.
Take me away from this hellhole.
You know what I'd do?
I wouldn't stand for it.
You know what my play on this would be?
As soon as I heard the doorbell ring and I had any sort of inkling that a man was standing out there with a portrait that he'd done of my wife, okay?
I would immediately rush into the kitchen and start doing the dishes, okay?
So that I could be doing the dishes.
And while I was doing the dishes, I'd also put the dinner on as well. I would start the dinner cooking. So then
after my wife answers the door and she's like, Oh my God, this man's just turned up to our house
and giving me a portrait that he's painted of me. I would be like, Oh, that's great, honey. Hang on.
I'm just, just getting through these dishes and the, and the dinner's on too. So like, just give
me, just give me a second.
But like, that's great.
I'm so happy that he's done that.
And then I think that you cover yourself perfectly
in that case.
Cause then she's like, oh, you know what?
This guy's done a portrait,
but oh, my husband's doing the dishes
and like fucking cooking the dinner and stuff.
And like, you know, I got a lot of respect for that.
So I'm just going to bust this portrait over my knee
and chase this guy down
with a claw hammer while he's doing that and then i think that would be really good i think that's
the best way to play it i'm not saying that you have to do the dishes and do the dinner like all
the time just in that one i do that all the time anyway so i didn't think there'd be no difference
do you guys ever drawn anything or been artistic in any way or ever i'm not bad at art i'm okay okay i can hold my own
what kind of things have you done lately or ever oh lately nothing i mean i'm i'm i'm horribly lazy
like i just play video games so yeah at school i i was like fairly artistic like i did pretty good
in like art class and stuff when i was when i was a kid i used to like drawing a lot and painting
coloring and stuff.
And I was like, I was all right at it.
Like all things considered, like that's okay.
I can help my son with stuff.
Like he's like, oh, you know, can you draw me the Ecto-1 or whatever?
Like you can give me a picture of the Ecto-1 and I can copy it and it looks okay and stuff.
So that's about it.
Like I'm not like an actual artist though.
Like I don't sit down and fucking just draw stuff for fun or whatever but like i i'm all right i'm like i'm proficient i think i i got techniques shading techniques i i know some you know when you just like smudge the
pencil to make some shading and stuff and like thatching and nice crap like that i was thinking
much more in terms of like for me it's it's all about like, just, just thinking
up dumb ideas.
Like, like you go to, I've been to a lot of modern art galleries.
Okay.
Right.
Because I've had, I don't know, I've just ended up doing it.
And I feel like I've been to them all over the place.
Um, and a lot of them are consistently eye rolly, right?
You go in there and you're like, you roll your eyes at this thing.
And you move to the next room and you're like, oh, for God's sake.
And you roll your eyes and then you move on to the next thing.
And it's just like, that's basically me.
My eyes are just goggling all out.
How many of these places have you been to?
Because like, I'd only have to go to a place once and do that to know that I'd never want to go again.
But I kind of, like, I was thinking about this, okay?
Like, so I was listening to this podcast.
I was listening to Russell Brand's podcast.
What's wrong?
I know.
God damn it.
And he interviewed this guy who was like a,
who's an Anglican, like not preacher, Anglican.
Preacher?
Just like a clergyman, a priest, a priestman in English.
A preacher man.
And he used to be a sort of molecular biologist.
And the reason he went back to,
he had this story about the reason
after being a scientist he went back to
religion was because there were certain things
that science couldn't explain.
And one of them was
the beauty of a flower.
It's like, how do you explain the beauty of a flower?
And I was
kind of, I don't know, there's something about that
and I kind of felt that same
way like when i went around these monarch galleries although i definitely was i my eyes were just all
over the floor rolling down the corridors it was some things were like actually actually i i quite
like that and i don't know why i and that i find that beautiful or interesting or pleasurable to look at. And I don't know why.
So I sort of, I feel like I have, I've always enjoyed going around these modern art galleries
just as an experience. And I've, I don't know, it's just, I hate portraits. I hate portrait
galleries. I hate like some of these realistic things and landscapes. And I hate a lot of the
tat where it's like my unmade bed or, you know, some of that gibberish or like half a cow
stored in a piece of plexiglass.
Like, I'm not a big fan of all that crap.
I think a lot of that art is made for other artists
rather than regular people.
Or made for shock value.
But sometimes you see something...
I have an unmade bed and I'm going to display that.
Like, that's a talking point. I mean, we tracy emmons unmade bed right which i can't know
what the name of it is but it's basically the bed that she slept in and like it's it tells all this
story you look around it there's like cigarette ends and underwear and stuff and it's like
you know she had sex in this bed it's like it was her bed so there's a story to the bed
and it is interesting to say a bed here you you go, what do you think of this?
It's at least thought-provoking, and everybody talks about it.
The cow and formaldehyde, we may complain, but everybody knows about it.
So art should start people talking, even if the only conversation is,
is that art, is at least a conversation about art.
I'd rather people were talking about it than just going,
oh, don't care, no, don't know anything.
Like, it is interesting. Yeah, exactly. I get to a lot of galleries as well and i also roll my eyes at a
lot of the shit they put in there my worst ones are the ones where you go in i saw one i went into
um the tape gallery not tape modern but tape britain and one of the exhibits is just three
fluorescent bulbs on the wall right that's it just three fluorescent lights on a wall and that angers
me because i think what what is that like it's just it's literally fluorescent lights on a wall. And that angers me because I think, what is that?
Like, it's just, it's literally three lights on a wall.
It's cheap. It feels like they're attempting to make art
without putting any fucking thought into it.
But you know they agonized over what color to make those three lights
and what angle to hang them at.
It's like, it's a big deal to that person.
But in a way, like, as I've grown older,
and this may sound totally weird,
but I have found that i quite enjoy the feeling of little bit of kind of like eye rolly anger that that
provokes a little bit like i don't really like eating certain things like olives i don't think
i really like olives but i like how the taste of not liking them does that make sense no it absolutely does not make sense i don't know i like the experience of not liking things sometimes you enjoy you enjoy how much you
don't enjoy olives is that what you're telling me you you're not really not yeah i suppose so i like
the experience of figuring out why i don't like it in a way lunatic i don't know it's weird sometimes
something like something something i think I think that's the case
sometimes with these things
that are a bit
sort of gross
like kimchi
is pretty disgusting
tasting as well
what?
what Korean
pickled cabbage
that tastes like
a flipping
old stinky dishcloth
kimchi
you don't like olives
or kimchi
well I do
tell me your top three things but I don't I don't like them but I do like them I do. Tell me your top three foods.
I don't like them, but I do like them.
That's the weird thing.
And I think a lot of things are like that, like a quiet taste, like Marmite and things
like this.
Give me your top three foods.
Top three foods.
You have to have dinner right now.
One of the three things you'd be like, oh, I know what I'll have.
These are the three things I'll whack in there.
Boom.
That's going to be delicious.
Go on.
Three things together? It's like a well, three separate meals.
A meal with three things in it. Three things in a meal. What are they gonna be?
Well, my favorite sort of foods, I guess are, um, if you say quinoa or quinoa, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna help you down. No, no, no. It's gotta be like a spicy pizza. Do you know what I mean?
Like the whiz with a nice pizza. Honestly, like I think the pizza is one of the things that has
stopped me from being vegan
because I'd love to be vegan, but I love cheese too much.
And it's impossible.
Halloumi is really, really good, isn't it?
I love halloumi and things.
I was going to say, for my three, I would have halloumi.
I would have maybe some red pepper and then some diced onions.
Three.
That would be fucking perfect.
You could have all of that on a pizza.
That's a meal right there.
Think about it.
You could eat that bowl of that and it'd be fine.
What are you going to say, fucking P-Flex?
Donuts, beer and cigarettes.
Cider.
First of all, I don't smoke cigarettes.
It's a vape.
All right.
And it's only water vapor, of course.
Beer would definitely be on my list.
Beer or wine or cider some kind of
alcohol um but again beer like i think the stronger beers like i'm not a fan of like ales and stuff
but again i i can drink one and be like hmm i wonder why i don't really like this but i i like
it in the same in the sense like they're they're very acquired tastes and people don't you know
you don't grow up as a kid liking the taste of beer or wine
no you know when does that happen when does that flip come well your taste buds are different when
you're younger as well like yeah but also when you realize the benefits of but is it just like
when you start smoking it tastes it's just a peer pressure thing though in when you're like
sort of 17 16 17 18 when you're like i've got to like beer because
it's what men like so i'm gonna keep drinking it until i like it joey i guess so i mean there are
some people who just never get used to the taste of it they just never really like it but if i'm
really had a hard day there is nothing like cracking open a beer and having it exactly and
that happened to me and that definitely happened to me and it was like i i don't know i can't
pinpoint the time when that happened but there was a long time when i didn't like beer and then one time
it was like a really hot day and i got home and i cracked when i opened out the fridge and i sat
there and i was like holy shit i really enjoyed this and i was like when did this happen to me
i'll tell you what it is suddenly what what do children generally speaking not have they don't
have any concerns they don't have any cares they don't have any stress they don't have any worries
they're children right when you're a grown-up, what the beer
does is it mingles with the bitterness that you feel for being an adult. It's the sadness and the anger.
Oh, that's what it is because kids can't-
It becomes a flavour. They don't have any bitterness in them.
Well, no, but they do. Yes, that's right. So, the reason that kids don't like Brussels
sprouts and broccoli and all these green vegetables is because they can taste the bitterness. And as you grow up, you can't,
your taste buds.
The bitterness that you feel overpowers the bitterness of the flavor. And eventually,
that's right.
You can just taste it. It's true flavor.
It's true. Oh my God.
Man, that's so true though. There's nothing like having, like on a hot day when you're
out doing like some roofing or something and you
just like open open a bottle of suds and oh god there's nothing better if you've done any roof
work in your life you'll know if you've done something that was worth you're up there with
morgan freeman and you're just hot as hell and it's like a man feels more like a man if he can
have a bottle of suds certain time yeah you just need just need
those suds man geez yeah honestly i have done very little hard outdoor labor in my life but
anytime that i have and there's a beer involved tell you what it's all worth it i usually have
like you know glorious days it's almost like what lewis was saying about not enjoying something
just to to he enjoys not enjoying it the difference here i think is if you do like let's say you do a really hard bit of work i had
to pull up a massive tree stump in the garden a couple years back it's huge so i cut down the tree
had to ship all the stuff to the to the tip and all that and then i had the tree stump and i had
i got a pickaxe and i dug this fucking thing out of the ground it took me like two hours of hacking
and digging and sawing finally got out of the ground got It took me like two hours of hacking and digging and sawing. Finally got out of the ground, got it in the bin, job done.
And Mrs. F handed me a cold beer.
And I was like, this beer, this single beer,
erases all that hard work and everything.
In an instant, you're just like, this was worth it for this moment
when I can relax after a piece of hard work
and I've got this cold beer.
And that beer is the signal to your brain that says,
the workday is done.
Now we just sit around
complaining about stuff.
Not my body.
I need this.
Oh my God.
Do you know what?
Because she was watching you
in the garden.
Oh, she was loving it.
And Todd came round
and painted her
with a portrait, yeah.
from behind
looking out at you
working.
But she looked out
and saw a man working.
Who did she bring a beer to?
Todd or me?
Me.
Well, only to keep you busy while she went back in to speak to Todd.
She hid your claw hammer as well.
Jesus fucking Todd.
No, it's true.
Like if I go out and mow the lawn and it's like a really sunny day or whatever,
sometimes after I'm done, I just sit down outside and just have like a cold glass of cider.
And that's really nice too.
It's just like, you know, it just hits the spot. God, I could go for a drink glass of cider and that's really nice too it's just like
yeah you know just hits the spot right now but it's only midday man so so like a couple of weeks
ago i mowed i have to mow my lawn once a week because it just if i leave it too long and this
happened recently part of me i left it too long okay i left it like three weeks i was just being
really lazy and i left my lawn for three weeks. And holy crap, do not leave your lawn grow for three weeks, okay?
Because it becomes a jungle.
And then when you actually do go to mow it, it takes like five times as long as it would normally take.
Because you're constantly emptying out the bag.
Oh, shit.
It's getting all fucking jammed up because when grass gets super long, like it retains a lot of water.
And it's like all wet and shit.
And like it just gets all jammed up. Oh, it's the worst. of water and it's like all wet and shit and like it just gets all
jammed up oh it's the worst so i left it for like three weeks i went out and mowed it and like
even when i was done i was not satisfied because it was like really clumpy still there was like
lots of like strands but i was tired and i was like you know what i'm just gonna leave it and
then next week when i do the mow i'll i'll get like i'll get it looking like tip top and it did like the week after it was
it was fine but what i did was i had this huge huge bag of grass clippings okay so i put it into
the trunk of the car and i was like okay you know in a minute like after i've like composed myself
i'm just gonna take this down to the dump and put it like in the green waste or whatever and then
that that's me done and then i fucking forgot to do it. Okay. And then
a couple of days went by and I was like, shit, um, I forgot to take those, those clippings to
like the dump or whatever, but they're probably fine just sitting in the back of the car.
And it was like pretty hot. And like the sun was beating down in the car and the car was all hot
and stuff. So after a couple of days, get in the car to take my son somewhere and open the door.
I was like, what is that smell? Like, it smelled like there was a dead body in the car to take my son somewhere and open the door it's like what is that smell
like it smelled like there was a dead body in the car i couldn't believe it i was like holy shit like
has somebody pranked me like thrown a shit into my car or something like i don't know what's going
on here so i sat down i was like oh fuck it's those grass clippings isn't it like i left the
grass clippings in the car for a couple of days so i go in the trunk yeah so i go in the trunk
and i open it up and like the smell
just like almost knocked me over
fuck yeah it's definitely these grass clippings
like I should not have left them in here
so I open
the bag cause it was like kinda closed
like it wasn't tied closed or anything but it was just
folded over closed I open the bag
and I almost
barfed it was like full of fucking
like spider webs and like there was like full of fucking like spider webs.
And like,
there was like these things moving around and like all the grass was like all
wet and gross and stuff.
And it was like,
it was like in the middle of forming its own,
like brand new ecosystem in there.
It was mulching.
it was fucking gross.
Like I've never seen anything like it.
And even taking it to the dump,
I had to basically take it to the dump immediately because it was so gross took it up there and even as i was dumping
it out i was like almost barfing like it was really fucking gross so if you're a dad out there
and you're leaving your lawn for like three weeks don't fucking leave the clippings lying around
okay dispose of those things immediately otherwise you're in for some trouble like it's jesus christ
you were learning some serious dad lessons about not fucking procrastinating it immediately otherwise you're in for some trouble like it's jesus christ you were
learning some serious dad lessons about not fucking procrastinating it sounds like you're
procrastinating on the lawn you're procrastinating on throwing the fucking clippings away i've got
another tip shit the spider if you ever have some old cardboard right old cardboard and you're
leaving it out the back let's say you've had a delivery of a load of furniture you've got big
old boxes you leave the cardboard around the side of the house. I did this last year.
Left this cardboard around.
I was going to take it to the tip.
I forgot.
It got rained on.
It was in contact with the ground.
When I went to move that cardboard,
it was teeming with worms.
Oh, my God.
They crawl into it
and they compost it all up or something.
It was disgusting.
It smelled appalling.
There was literally earthworms
raining out of these cardboard boxes. I never seen anything like it yeah they shit
everywhere constantly too but it's like they live in the fucking cardboard i didn't understand it
because i guess it's like when it gets wet it's like mulched wood so they fucking love it yeah
but they were coming from all around i mean all the whole neighborhood all the neighborhoods worth
the worms must have heard there was a fucking party around the side of my house i've got a bunch of cardboard outside my place i missed the fucking
pickup today and i'm not here next week oh you've got to get rid of that cardboard like you're gonna
have a worm infestation if you're not i am oh fuck me so where so where i live worms not so bad but
we get a lot of snails for some reason like tons of of snails. So like when I was mowing the lawn after like three weeks,
there were just like these clumps of snails hiding in like the tall grass everywhere and stuff.
Like every once in a while, I'd go over a patch and I'd think like,
oh, it's going to be a smooth patch in here.
And it's like, oh, shit, I just killed like 50 snails.
Like just like accidentally went, oh, I can't see them, right?
But they're all hiding down like deep in the grass sort of thing
and they just like sort of clump up and like
all huddled together so it was like
just looked like a battlefield after it was
done like all these like busted up
snail shells and snail guts everywhere
and oh man. That's probably all those spider webs
were oh fuck you know
spiders climbing to eat all the dead snail
and then slugs too we get quite a few slugs
I don't know if it's just like.
This is very visceral.
Yeah.
And then one time I was outside getting some stuff off the washing line.
And I'd let the grass again grow really long.
Like, because, fuck, I'm so lazy.
Oh, my God.
They climbed up the grass onto the washing.
No, no.
I saw this slug.
And honestly, it was like the size of my foot.
It was so fucking huge.
I couldn't believe I ran inside.
And I was like, told my wife.
And she's like, oh, well, okay, we're never going outside again.
It's like, there's a huge slug back there.
I'm not even kidding.
It's gigantic.
Like, and it's just slowly making its way God knows where.
But like, I'd say a couple hours at least.
Don't go out there until he's moved along.
It's like some sort of D&D slime.
Where does he go though?
Like, where would he even live?
I couldn't find like any rabbit size
holes anywhere that he might have like gone into
so like I don't know where he goes
like he's huge. The size of your foot
It was huge
it was like orange and black as well
it was really disgusting. What the
fuck? Yeah. I don't even know
I have no idea what you're even
if anyone out there knows what this
could be maybe it's a new form of life that's just spawned from your fucking...
We're going to need an APB on this slug
before it causes some more trouble out there.
Sure it's not one of your kids' toys.
No, it was not.
It was definitely moving.
It was a little bit dark outside,
so I didn't get a super good look at it,
but it was definitely a slug,
and it was definitely alive and moving.
Are you sure it wasn't like a toad or something?
Like a dying cat or something. No, not like a toad or something like a like a
dying cat or something no not like a toad i don't know i don't know if we get big toads like we get
like little frogs but i've never seen like a really big toad in jersey because they're fucking
hideous like a big toad yeah that is one ugly fucking animal and they can they can be kind of
weird orangey brownie colors yeah i think the brighter color they are the more dangerous they
are like that's the nature's way of saying like don't fucking get in my grill because i'm poisonous
or whatever jesus christ like you know if they're like neon neon blue or whatever don't go near that
frog well there you go i think that is enough for today that was a quite a podcast we covered
art and it's a real roller coaster ride this one
actually
and mowing the
lawn
it went everywhere
yeah
there's some great
advice out there
I need to go home
and get my
cardboard sorted
out
yeah you're going
to be stressing
about that all
day now
jeez
yeah thank you
for the tip
worm fest
speed out there
at least maybe
a week or two
sort that shit
out
it's going to be
out there two weeks more guaranteed.
God damn.
Get on it.
Maybe I'll see if I can put it in the shed or something.
All right.
Take it easy, guys.
Peace out.
Thank you.
See you next time.
Bye.
Bye.