Triforce! - Triforce! #60: Caveman Jackass
Episode Date: December 20, 2017Triforce! Episode 60! Alien visitors, Sips' darkest secret, supercentenarians and Star Wars! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Alright, go on. You can do the intro if you'd like.
Oh, I'm not in the mood. I'm not in the mood for
Triforce is what it comes down to. I don't want to do
this. Alright. This podcast sucks.
Shut up. Okay, I'm going to do it then.
That was the intro!
That was the intro. Hi everybody,
ignore that intro. This is a better
intro. Hi. What's up?
My name is Sips. I got a
wife and a dog and a family.
One day, my boss said,
Hey Sips, are you busy? I said
no. Then put your
hand on the left thing.
I can't remember the lyrics to that song at all.
It's an old Boy Scout song.
It's a catchy one.
Boy Cubs.
You really owned it, though.
I was in Boy Cubs, guys.
I was in Cubs.
Cub Scouts.
Yeah, I was in Cubs, too.
We used to sing that song a lot.
Isn't your daughter in Brownies or Rainbows?
My youngest is in Rainbows.
My oldest is in brownies.
Yeah, it's good.
It's character building.
I have to go outside and play around in the mud and get badges and, you know, help hold ladies across the street.
The weapons training is coming along as well.
They've had to learn to use an RPG, set an IED, throw a grenade, proper ambushes.
Yeah.
All that kind of stuff.
Wow.
Yeah.
Moving forward in like fire teams.
For the coming revolution.
Yeah.
Guys, I'm going to tell a story to you guys that I've never told anybody else before in my life, okay?
Is it rude?
Well, it kind of ruins my street cred, but I'm ready for it.
Okay.
Are you sure you want to tell that?
I think manning up and coming out and telling people about things that are slightly embarrassing seems to be like a common theme nowadays okay so
i'm gonna jump on this bandwagon oh i know what this is about but yeah this is about dr disrespect
big reveal last night isn't it oh what what oh you know what actually it wasn't uh i actually
really like dr disrespect and i don't think i would ever like make fun of him and i think i know
the whole situation is pretty shitty actually it is but i felt that
maybe this was going to usher in an era where people were up front and honest because he's
such a big uh influence on people no no i wasn't i i didn't have him in mind when i was saying that
actually i was thinking of kevin spacey i was thinking about kevin spacey the whole time right
so last night dr disrespect posted a video when i say he came out he didn't come out as a homosexual
what he came out as was he said he cheated on his wife.
Right.
And he's taking a break from streaming and all that stuff.
At the peak of his popularity,
he's stepping down for an indeterminate period to sort his life out.
Yeah.
And he's huge right now.
He's like the guy.
So he was out of costume.
He was crying.
He posted a brief video.
And then he was like, see you later, guys, I'm done.
Do you reckon it happened at, like, TwitchCon or something?
I would suspect so.
I think he's probably a classic American guy, right?
Where they just can't control themselves.
They have no, like, self-control.
With money, with women, with everything.
I don't know if that's necessarily an American thing.
I think that's just a guy thing.
Like, you know know some guys are just
you're right actually
they can't help it sometimes
you know
they don't have like
this thing in their brain
that just sort of says no
and that's
and they get
they just
they want to have fun
and I guess
it just
I reckon at TwitchCon
all the women
were all over him right
the champagne was flowing
he was up in the high roller suite
there were these hot babes
just swarming him.
He said,
Oh, I watch your streams.
Dr. Disrespect,
I think you're great.
You're really funny.
I'm part of the hot daddy club
or whatever.
Slick daddy.
Slick daddy crew.
Whatever.
And they just basically
were his slick mommies.
And, you know,
they went back to the room.
He had like a dirty threesome.
I reckon Dr. Disrespect did that
and I've got a lot of
disrespect for that.
Disrespect or respect?
Disrespect. Because he should have had
more control, self-control over himself.
He made an agreement to his wife and he should have stuck to that.
He should feel bad about it.
Man, I don't even know if it's about self-control.
Honestly, for me,
I'm just petrified of my wife.
She can get really
angry and I want to make sure that
she's never angry.
I don't want to be on the receiving end of that.
The main thing for me is, I mean, we've all been at big conventions and stuff like that.
We've all had ladies throwing themselves, literally.
Even a crusty old fart like me has had offers, but it does happen.
So I'm looking at how fucking many offers and how many gorgeous titty streamers is the doc getting offers from.
All of them just
imagine that he's the number one guy number one like 99.9 of women are like going off and he's
also a really good looking guy right he's like he's got it all oh yeah so he the offers come
from the ladies coming in he's funny too they say you can laugh a woman into bed right you can be
really ugly and still like if you're're funny as hell and charismatic and stuff,
you can still get the ladies that way.
So that's what I thought your story was going to be about,
but obviously not.
We can come back to that, but I want to hear your story.
I was more sort of, I was poking at the whole Hollywood thing.
Who have you been messing with?
I haven't been messing with anyone. This happened when I was
a child and it comes back to
Cub Scouts as well, okay?
I'm in Cub Scouts, the Cubs,
and we go on a...
We used to do these things
every year. Is this about portage?
There was like a winter, almost.
There was like a winter retreat
that you went on. So you went
to this huge cabin in the middle of the woods for like a week.
The whole pack and all the counselors and stuff.
And there was like all sorts of stuff.
Snowshoeing on a lake and like, you know, it was Ontario, right?
So it was cold as fuck.
I always think it's weird to have them be called counselors, right?
Because it's some sort of camp for trouble.
It's all Jungle book themed as well
right we had like akela and like akela mogli and uh yeah and all these guys all these grown men
naming themselves after jungle book characters yeah so anyway so we're out there and we're
snowshoeing and we're cooking potatoes in tinfoil on an open fire. Oh, yeah. Shit, I haven't done that in years.
All the shit that you do in Cubs, right?
You make like a dent in a tin can of beans and you put that on the fire.
And then when the dent like pops out, it's ready to eat.
Ready to eat.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm eight, nine years old maybe.
And we were playing flashlight tag at night, okay?
This is another thing that we did in the woods so it's
dark as hell you know everybody's got flashlight and you run around in the woods and shoot each
other with flashlights and it was really fun it was really exciting times everybody was having a
good time and stuff and then this this one kid wasn't even like i wasn't really friends with
him or anything like you know i i knew him like just because he was in in cubs like with me or
whatever but i didn't really hang out with him or anything.
And he was like running to get to like back to the base or whatever, running really fast, you know, maybe horsing around a little bit, getting a bit too carried away or whatever.
And he tripped and he fell down.
OK.
And he was like crying and stuff.
And everybody was like really worried about him and stuff.
And I don't know what it was.
Like I was like a pretty – like a fairly tough kid.
You know, I wasn't like overly sensitive or whatever but i just felt really bad for him and i started crying too i was like eight right so like it was a little bit embarrassing so i was like sort of
like off in the woods in the dark crying because i felt sorry for this guy and then um i think it
was baloo came up to me and he's like oh hey what's what's wrong like did you hurt yourself
yeah yeah I tripped I fell over I got some dust in my eye or something like I don't know he's like
oh shit well okay come on all right we'll take you back or whatever and that I I've never told
anybody that story because I was a little bit embarrassed I didn't want to admit that I felt
sorry for somebody and started to cry but at least it shows that I'm not some sort of like sociopath as well, right?
I have like some degree of empathy or whatever.
Yeah, at a young age, you showed empathy for another human being.
Yeah, yeah.
Why is that an embarrassing story?
I don't know.
That's a good thing.
I felt bad for someone who has something bad happen to them.
Don't judge me.
It's just weird though, right?
Like not a lot of people want to
like be seen crying right like it shows like i guess a vulnerability or something unless you're
a talent show i guess you shouldn't be crying yeah yeah i guess like somehow at the age of eight i
was like aware of that i don't even know how or why or whatever but like i felt like really no i
don't want like anyone to think that i'm crying because I was overwhelmed by the situation or something.
So I just made up a story about falling down.
It's like, oh, you don't seem to have any scratches or anything.
It was like, oh, yeah, it was just a light fall, I guess.
I don't know what's going on.
I think that's a lovely story, Sips, and thank you for sharing it with us.
I think that it's difficult to um it's really
liberating for me i mean i've bottled that one up for years like i've never told anyone i can't
believe that's your big bottle up story like that's the story everyone's got one right i must
never tell someone i cared about another everyone's got a bottle up story like i've got millions
and they're way worse than that well maybe i'm just lucky that i don't have anything much worse than that
actually well i mean i've had so like some awkward encounters with like females like in the past
nothing like illegal or anything were they were they awkward in the same way that data would have
an awkward date with people on the the enterprise yeah i mean i don't think i'm that rigid but like
you know you know like when you're young and you don't really know what the fuck is going on like most of the time like i'm old and i still don't know what the fuck
is going on most of the time yeah that's why i got married because i just didn't know what yeah
me too i just needed somebody to rescue me from my haze of not knowing what the fuck basically
i was like do you know what the fuck is going on yes let's get married yeah save me i think women
are probably much much much closer and much more in touch with their emotions than men.
I mean, men are encouraged to be these iron stones, these trees that don't waver in the hurricane, you know.
I like that.
It's supposed to be, you're supposed to be this mountain, this rock for her to cry on, you know,
whereas she's always a storm of emotions.
And I think women like,
will cry at anything sometimes and they won't know why.
Well, they're more of a mortal though, right?
Men can do that sometimes, Sips.
Here's the thing,
when you're smashing the skull of your enemy
and with a crudely made bone club,
you can't be getting empathetic.
No.
Ugg smash.
Well, I think at that point,
and then maybe even Ugg eat.
You've got so much adrenaline coursing through you,
like the capacity for empathy is diminished.
Yeah, until after the fact.
I think that men and women are more similar than people realize.
I think Uggina could also smash.
Uggina may be able to smash, but mainly Ugg smash, I would say.
Yeah, Ugg like smashing.
Maybe Uggina don't feel like she'd like it, but sometimes.
Maybe Ugg not in mood for smashing tonight.
No, maybe you're.
Maybe Uggyna have headache and poor Ug.
Yeah.
Have to smash alone.
We are talking about killing people, right?
Just to clarify.
Yeah.
Oh, holy shit.
So, no, I mean, it's great.
Like, I was just thinking of what you were saying.
Now, we watched Star Wars, the new one yesterday.
Oh, yeah.
No spoilers yesterday no spoilers
no spoilers i didn't i didn't i didn't i didn't get invited to that so i just jingled you weren't
here instead so you were invited but you know you you had you already you've already taken your
quota of being away from babby fabby family this month i think that's it yeah it's hard to be away
a lot it's hard to justify being away a lot. So I watched The Force Awakens, the original, on the weekend.
So I was prepared for the new one.
Sure.
And, you know, it was the original.
I didn't really remember it because it was a couple of years ago that I'd watched it.
So I got some new bits.
And, man, I think Star Wars is this comfortable, Christmassy, it's familiar.
It used to be when we were kids that Star Wars was a nerdy thing, right?
You were a nerd if you liked Star Wars.
Now, if you're a nerd, you don't like Star Wars.
It's like geek chic now, right?
It's cool to be a nerd now somehow.
Well, no, it's cool to like Star Wars, and maybe it's cool to be a nerd,
but the real people who actually, I don't think, I think Star Wars
has become so mainstream and so kind of
it's not
as a nerd like
I'm beginning to think that I don't like Star Wars
There's not enough there for the nerds
is what I would say. If you think about
Game of Thrones that was real nerdy
but now that's mainstream so all the people
I know that are like mega nerds are like
Wheel of Time is the superior series.
It's like they've got to find the next.
They're almost like hipsters.
They don't want to admit they're hipsters because they probably hate hipsters.
But now sci-fi has become, you've almost got to be a sci-fi hipster
because you're like, yes, I enjoyed so-and-so,
but I really think it was very derivative.
And the physics on those was ridiculous.
That's what you want as
a nerd is something that satisfies every aspect i don't think it matters like there's a bit of
something for everyone um i'm reading the new andy weir books he did the martian and you really
enjoyed the martian oh yeah i like that yeah it was really good he's got this one called artemis
um which is about on moon base right does the guy get stranded on a moon base and they have to
rescue him um not really no does
he have to figure out how to grow potatoes on the moon with poop um well not really no but
there's similar sort of stuff similar sort of engineering you physics you bits and bobs to do
with it like you know they have to you know weld holes in the moon base and that's kind of cool
air pressure and all that stuff it's kind of it's cool it's, it's a bit more sneaky because the moon base is kind of established
and it's got like 20,000 people living there.
Yeah.
I like a game like Subnautica,
but you're on the moon
and you have to just build a base and stuff.
There haven't really been many good
living on another planet,
like in our solar system,
similar kind of tech to us games.
Yeah.
Like I remember there was a,
I mean, Kerbal Space Program
is one I dip in and out of now and again now again
And that's just fun. Yeah, it's awesome. I love the faces of the lads. Yeah, the Kerbal guys
They look like a like beaker Kerbal is almost like a trick to like teach you actual physics
Yeah, it's like it's like one of these things that lures you in with the cute faces
But then you end up learning actual physics. Holy holy shit it's so satisfying when you get like a a a craft into orbit and stuff and you figure it out so bad it's
fucking awesome it's so good i had two i had twitch chat coaching me while i did it and it was
it was really something it was it was definitely an experience maybe not one that i'd ever want
to repeat again but it was it was nice. So we're having a lovely Christmas
live stream as of
currently this recording session. Wait, wait, wait. Before you
move on,
without spoilering
Star Wars... I felt like I should
move on to avoid chatting about it.
Don't spoil it, but what did you think?
Good? Bad? Medium? I really enjoyed
it. You really did. I thought it was good.
Because I read a couple of tweets from people that went with you guys who were like, I was disappointed. It wasn't really i thought it was good because i i read a couple
of tweets from people that went with you guys who were like i was disappointed it wasn't what i
thought it was going to be yeah well those people are assholes right and i'm going to find who they
are in the office and i'm going to kill them you hate you hate when somebody has an opinion that
clashes with yours right like no that's not true what i hate is when people have an opinion they're
like i didn't like it and the best reason they can give is other people will like it and i don't like the company that made it right right that's my problem like i don't there
are there are plenty of companies out there i don't like but at least judge the film for itself
i think don't judge it based on other that's what i'm just saying i think that that star wars
is and movies in general are short form right we are exposed to Netflix shows you know watching i
really enjoyed watching the new Netflix Punisher.
Yeah.
And it's long form, right?
It gives you really a time to ingest...
Oh, shit, I still need to watch that, actually.
I keep forgetting about Punisher.
I finished it the other night.
It is good.
It's good.
I'm with Lewis on this, absolutely.
And I think that Star Wars hasn't got enough time.
Like, sometimes if you're going to introduce new characters,
you don't have a huge amount of time to get settled in
before the action starts and so
be i think movies these days have to be more like a roller coaster and you know and also have nice
little bits of comic relief people are some people say star wars doesn't take itself seriously enough
and some people say it takes itself too seriously and like you know it's tough when you look at like
thor ragnarok which was a really really amazing film this year it's a full comedy and it's really
good as a result,
whereas Star Wars has always treaded that line,
like Indiana Jones, between serious and, you know, fun.
A bit goofy, yeah.
And a bit goofy, yeah.
It's got to have a broader appeal, though, right?
Exactly.
It's got the right balance.
You've got to remember that Star Wars merchandise
is being sold to six-year-old kids
who are going
to want to watch the movie at some point so it can't be oh that's where your porg comes in it
can't be ultra you will have seen it in the trailer they're adorable and i lewis was saying
when he went to japan he saw he saw a bajillion of them well yeah because they they'd obviously
made all the merchandise in advance and i didn't know what they were so i'm like a pretty big star
wars fan i was going around this section there was an entire wall of porgs and i was like what the
fuck are these how do i not know what these are and then you know a week after i came out from
japan the star wars trailer came out and it had the porg in it i was like oh my god it's like i'd
seen the future or something you know it was crazy i think you've got to take movies for what they
are though like i'm at the point in my life now where going to see a movie, I'll go see something if I like the look of it.
And it's more of an outing.
Like, I don't hinge, like, an awful lot on whether the movie is going to be good or not.
Like, I don't actually care.
You're just glad to be out of the house.
I'm just glad to be sitting in a dark movie theater, falling asleep half the time, watching something even semi-interesting is fine for me.
Like, it really
doesn't bug me it doesn't need to fucking change my life or blow my fucking mind into pieces all
over the theater up and like you know have an emotional moment yeah in the woods yeah
do you know what like for instance i'm talking to ben and he hates harry potter now i'm no big
potter fan all right i tease my wife about the fact that she's read all the books all the time i'm never going to read the books but it's fun shit i mean how
could you hate harry potter it's just well well-made kids movies yeah he's so good and he
says something because i hate harry potter like it was like it should have been obvious to me yeah
well i hate it why because i hate harry potter i was like ben i mean he you know dude i spoke to
hit me he got like two chapters into Red Rising and couldn't read anymore.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, Ben's one of these people, though, who if something starts going,
like he was watching Westworld, and Westworld has a lull.
And he says, as soon as there's a lull, I'm on to something else.
Do you know what I mean?
I'd rather not waste my time.
But sometimes you have to push through lulls in series to get the good bits.
So I think Red Rising has a little bit of a lull in there.
And I think that he got to – I definitely know the point at which he stopped.
I don't mind a bit of a lull.
The lull is at the start.
The lull is kind of at the start.
If the lull is helping to build up or whatever,
it doesn't bug me that much at all actually.
I don't, it doesn't bug me that much at all, actually. Like, you know, sometimes, sometimes it's nice to just have like a bit of a break from
like nonstop shit happening in action because the thing with Red Rising is later on, and
certainly like the next two books are insane, like almost stressful to read.
Like at times, like it's just, you know, there's so fucking much going on and so many
twists and stuff that it just gets nuts. It's like every there's so fucking much going on and so many twists and stuff
that it's like every page something's happening yeah yeah it is it does get crazy yeah fuck off
fuck i can't wait for the new book to come out in january jesus christ that's like next fucking
month holy crap i'm gonna clear my whole calendar i'm gonna put some silky pajamas on get some
chicken noodle soup ready and i'm gonna try and get the bodega book out but there's no point now
no there's a new Red Rising book coming out.
It would have been my book on the shelves.
Instead, it's Red Rising, obviously.
Oh, God, man.
That's how it goes.
I think they can coexist.
Maybe.
You don't have to worry about that.
So how's the Bodega book going?
Have you written much?
I have, yeah.
We're really, really close.
Wow.
I was trying to get it done in time for Christmas.
Obviously, that's not going to happen.
Yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, we are close.
We are close.
It's been a while.
Do you want it to cash in big time on the holiday crowds?
No, I just didn't want to have to write it in 2018.
Oh, right.
I get it.
You want to write a sequel in 2018.
Yeah, exactly.
2018 was bodega two.
But no, we are close.
We are close.
Cool.
So I got some man flu, guys.
I must have picked it up like for my kids.
My son's going to be, it's his last day of school
today for uh christmas holidays he's gonna be on on vacation for like two weeks so hopefully that'll
be a bit of a germ holiday for us as well it won't get like too sick but here's the thing if you're
you're sick right i was sick for like three weeks and because i had a sub meetup so a bunch of my
my twitch subs met up with me in london and we all had we had a great dayup. So a bunch of my Twitch subs met up with me in London and we all had a great day.
We did all kinds of cool stuff.
It was a lot of fun.
But it was like one of those parties
that kids bring their parents to to get them all sick.
Yeah, it was like that.
It was like one of those measles parties, right?
Parents sort of bring their kids, yeah, yeah.
So we all met up and like, you know,
I'd been sick leading up to that
with like a pretty heavy cold,
but I got over it just in time.
We go out, have some drinks.
I get back the next day
and my throat feels like someone's trying to garrote me. And I realize that I've caught some
kind of a horrible throat infection. And my glands on either side of my throat were like super
swollen. And I was sick for another week and a half. And then I'm over it. But now I've come
down here, and I'm like, I'm going to be in the office, and I bet I'm going to get sick from all
the people in the office. And it's just, it's one of those things. Because the weird thing is,
when you're sick, and you talk to someone you know who lives miles away that is also sick
at the same time with the same kind of symptoms that's what makes me fear that when we talk about
the future of the human race it ain't gonna be some fucking meteor it's gonna be a disease it
will some disease is gonna come along and kill us all it'll be like that super bug in the hospitals
that's gonna get us exactly yeah you're gonna be like man i'm bleeding out of the eyes how about
you yeah same here isn't it weird must be one of those seasonal things and then you
know your head explodes it's gonna be one of those bullshit like um you know rng disasters where like
it is it's immune to like penicillin and something else fire and fire and it thrives it thrives in
like you know mild temperatures and you know it the ideal host
is airborne oh you know what i watched um i've never i've never read the book but i watched this
this old film called the andromeda strain which i'm sure they're going to remake it i read that
book actually that's a uh michael michael book yeah that's awesome it was a really good one so
i think i was reading the one that was post-post-post-postumously.
I've forgotten.
Anyway, carry on.
I didn't realize he died.
Yeah, he died.
I didn't realize he died because there's been like five books released post-postumously.
Jesus.
He was prolific.
Yeah, he was.
He read all these books and never put them out.
I mean, he's not John Grisham level prolific where he manages to find a different story about a lawyer that you can span out to a billion pages every few months.
John Grisham's branched out a little bit.
He's had a couple of books not about lawyers as well.
Really?
What were they about?
Just solicitors?
He had one about, like, I think he grew up, like, on a farm or whatever.
So he's had a whole bunch of books about, like, you know, discovering yourself, like, living on a farm and stuff.
They're all like
pretty good
he's a good writer
to be fair
so sorry
what I was reading
I remember now
it was about
it was like Michael Crichton
it was before Jurassic Park
he wrote it
and he wrote it about
the bone wars
which was those two guys
who were archaeologists
and they were digging up
like dinosaurs
but they were competing
with each other
to try and discover
new dinosaurs
and they discovered
all these different dinosaurs
by putting the bones together in dumb ways.
But it turns out that half the dinosaurs they discovered
were not actually real.
They just assembled them wrongly
from bits of other dinosaurs.
I don't think they had eight legs.
I'm pretty sure they did.
It's the eight-legged-saurus.
I'm categorizing it anyway, Lenny.
Fuck you.
Eight legs.
Pete, what the fuck are you doing over here? The dinosaur, they ain't got two heads. Shut it anyway Lenny Fuck you Eight legs Pete what the fuck are you doing over here
Dinosaur they ain't got two heads
Shut up Lenny
So man I've been reading a bit more
Thank god I have
Michael Crichton books are generally
Very very good
But the movie adaptations are usually pretty bad
What was I talking about
Jurassic Park
The Andromeda Strain is a really good movie like it's very 70s they have computers
which look more like pocket calculators now but like well I simply punch the
commander to the computer it's one of things where every button press you can
hear a room next door whirring to get your tongue to do like that with every
button press and then it spits out like a piece of paper comes out with
the number two on it and they're like wow oh so easy but this all they find this this this um they
send this thing into space to grab some something from a meteorite and then come back to earth
and it's like caught a piece of this organic material and brought it back it like crash
lands in this town and the military goes to retrieve it, but the entire town is dead. Right.
Apart from two people, a screaming baby and an old man.
Okay.
And they have to figure out what killed them.
And all the people's blood is completely dried up.
So when they cut them open, it's just dust that falls out.
Right.
And they're like, okay. So they take them to this special facility and they've got this,
they've got the two survivors and
they've got the the pod where the the thing must be in and they go through all this ridiculous
very scientific and sort of you know believable um approach to solving this problem and it's it's
absolutely brilliant it's not a fast-paced movie but it builds in drama to the conclusion and it
is well worth seeing i recommend it i do recommend. I don't think it's on Netflix,
but Andromeda Strain is a great film.
So it's the classic comet carrying a bit of DNA
or a virus, right, from space.
Yeah.
That's the panspermia-like theory that we were...
That they're at, yeah.
That life was created on Earth from, like, a jizz,
a bit of jizz on a comet.
A little bit of jizz on a rock, yeah.
But, like, that comet that's coming through the solar system
at the moment, not a comet. Space jizz. It's like a meteor. a rock but like that comet that's coming through the solar system at
the moment not space jizz it's like a meteor it's like a cigar shaped right so it's like 10 times
as long as it is wide so it's like a big flying dick in space as hell yeah even more pants per
me a theory right there yeah a literal giant dick is flying around in space shitting jizzing all
over everything jizzing jizz on planets yeah But they were like, we should probably look at this thing,
because that's not a normal shape for a meteor to be,
or an asteroid to be, for it to be that shape specifically.
And of course the artist's impression makes it look like a spaceship,
and I was like, wow, we've got to go check this thing out.
So is this for real?
This is for real?
Okay, there's a real cigar-shaped thing.
There is an actual cigar-shaped...
Comet or something.
It's a big asteroid.
It's a huge rock.
Asteroid.
And they're saying that if you look at the arc of it
and the speed that it's traveling and where it's come from,
it's not a regular visitor.
It was launched from a planet.
It's a different solar system.
So it's come here from another solar system,
traveling through space for millions of years.
Is it going to do a near-Earth flyby or whatever?
It's not coming near Earth.
It's out near the sun.
But I mean, you can see how over billions of years something these things might happen yeah absolutely yeah absolutely
and i mean you know what if it grazes the atmosphere bits of it gets shredded by the
gravity and the heat and everything and fall to earth and bingo you suddenly got some new
ingredients in the in the pot yeah yeah dried up blood absolutely stuff cheers fuck just a tiny
dude just alien tiny little alien spunk et yeah fuck me et is one of those movies i don't know Yeah. Dried up blood and stuff. Jizz. Fuck. Just a tiny dude. Alien. Tiny little dude.
Alien spunk.
E.T.
Yeah.
Fuck me.
E.T. is one of those movies.
I don't know about you guys.
Do you guys have a movie like that where it just makes you, it reminds you of being sick
and it makes you feel a bit sick?
Do you have any movies like that?
Were you sick when you watched E.T.?
I must have been.
But every time I watch E.T., I feel actually sick as hell.
I don't like.
That might just be E.T.
like it's kind of sickly I love that movie
I don't know what it is about that movie
I just it just makes me feel
so sick like I can't
watch it without feeling like just
terrible like it just
I think that's the movie
I must have had the flu or something when I saw it
like first or something but it just always
reminds me of being sick and just makes me feel sick as well.
Damn.
I got sick when we were playing TTT the other day.
What, like throw up sick?
You got motion sickness?
I got motion sickness from motion sickness.
Oh, shit.
It's something about that engine.
And you were saying that you saw stuff on Reddit with people saying.
Was it you that was saying that?
People always talk about motion sickness in these games.
First-person shooters especially. about motion sickness in these games so first person shooters the frame rate or the the motion
blur or the the head bob or something that makes people uh motion sick it's weird it is different
to different people but it would obviously be such a subtle change but that's all it takes for me to
get sick yeah so yeah because i used to get travel sick when i was a kid like pretty bad so maybe i'm
just susceptible i still do i get motion sick pretty bad.
Like if I'm not driving a car, I get pretty motion sick.
And then I can't go on big roller coasters or anything like that either.
They absolutely wreck me.
Oh, yeah.
They wreck me.
But I mean, I think as long as I'm not on them for more than like a couple of minutes,
I'm usually okay.
I went on the pinball wizard one time.
I went on the pinball wizard one time i went on the pinball wizard at alton towers right and uh as soon as i got off i barfed into a garbage it was i think i've i've
done the same like honestly sometimes like halfway through a ride you're like oh god i've had enough
of this and then you get by the time you get off it you're like you try your best right you close
your eyes you try to hold it in and stuff and then you just get to that point where your body's just like, nope, it's coming out like it's got to.
And then right into a garbage can.
God, I hate being sick.
I mean, but they have a reputation for being like barf-o-matics, though, in some of these roller coasters.
Well, I made the mistake of eating a hot dog before I went on it, too.
Oh, jeez.
So it was like a pretty long car ride up there.
And we were hungry.
So we stopped off
got some hot dogs and then fucking got there went on the pinball wizard and then the rest of the day
it was just like a mess i got sick like in the car on the way home and stuff like because all
it takes is to get sick like once motion sick once in the day and then everything you do that day
like that involves any sort of movement or moving you around just makes you feel even more sick it's the worst you know you know you know
georgia or g star yeah right so she's here she's she's a streamer and uh she lives in manchester
she's she's one of the many people that's come down for christmas and she was saying that manchester
has a big problem with this drug called spice right you heard of it it's like a legal legal high it's
from what iraq i know the spice must flow that was my first thought was spice yeah june desert
planet you know i was i was thinking of june immediately yeah but it's actually a synthetic
spice the legal high stuff well it's not i don't think it is anymore right i think they criminalized
it because it's super super bad anything that's a legal high is a legal high for about no but i mean i watched a documentary on legal highs and they have shops and stuff but
and like there's like some wizard who lives in the netherlands what they're selling yeah
because the problem is all you have to do is change it slightly and say no no no this isn't
so and so this is blah blah see it's completely different chemical formula so i'm pretty sure
spice is illegal but it's in manchester and doncaster because monkfish was saying that he
has it in doncaster as well these guys it's not just like they get drunk and pass out this stuff
is it like makes them absolutely insane and they're just hopeless like their lives are ruined
by this apparently it's really big in prison as well they like yeah because it gets you so fucked up right and it's cheap as well like all these drugs
are like it's a rush to the lowest price point that gets you the most fucked up and georgia was
saying that she saw this guy take a load of spice was sick and immediately just face planted straight
into it like a load of spaghetti he'd been eating something gross he just lay there he was just
there that's it And the ambulance turned up
and they sort of waited for him to come around,
cleaned him up,
and that's just his day.
That's his day.
He's just going to be fucked the whole day.
Yeah, apparently it turns you into a zombie.
Like, literally is what people are saying.
It's like, it just kind of makes you, like,
just zonk out and just zombified.
It's really, really scary.
Wow, that's cool.
It's not really though
No, I don't mean I wouldn't try it. But like the fact that I've got this there's a picture of people just looking like
I've got some pictures of it up on them on Google. What do you call people who take spice from idiots?
spice
Spicers you call them the one of the the shy hallood the great worm right yeah
yeah herbalists shy hallood oh my curbs man i don't know about those drugs like i saw like i
said this documentary and they were talking to this guy he was he like nicknamed himself the
wizard or something and he was like okay making all these synthetic drugs like in holland i think it was he had a lab and everything
and he was like he created a lot of these like early uh legal highs and stuff you know at like
and he would just like cook up these concoctions and put like just like hints of like hallucinogenics
or something in it like not not so that you would get like completely off your tits fucked up but like
a little bit fucked up sort of thing people are always gonna put just so weird stuff yeah up their
nose or in their ass or whatever this is what people do it's like from caveman times you know
was like a weird thing in forest stick it up bum would agina Aguino like to try? No, Aguino is not stupid.
Why Ag stick stupid things up a bum?
Aguino want coke, daddy.
Ag no coke.
Ag broke, bitch.
Yeah.
Is Aguino's pimp now?
I'm not sure.
I don't know.
It's a complicated relationship.
When drugs get involved, everyone becomes a pimp, right?
Yeah, and everyone's a victim.
Since the dawn of time,
people have been experimenting with this dumb stuff.
How would we know?
We found out that you can eat some of these things
or that some things were nice.
Do you think that's why people dare
each other to do stupid things?
I dare Krug to eat red mushrooms. I dare Krug to eat red mushrooms.
Krug not want eat red mushroom.
Oh, Krug scared like Agina.
Okay, Krug eat.
Oh, Krug died.
Agina, don't eat red mushroom.
It kill Krug.
Tooth in display toilet.
Krug do stupid thing.
Not know why.
Oh, God, man. I mean, that's literally the only way. Terrible accident. moving display toilet crug do stupid thing not know why oh god
man
I think that
I mean that's literally
the only way
terrible accident
happened
crug fall face
crug some red mushroom
crug up well
but the thing is
he like
he couldn't even rely
on animals to teach you
which ones were good to eat
because animals can eat
all kinds of shit
that's poisonous for us
or will kill us
vice versa
yeah like dogs
can't eat chocolate
exactly
fucking if we'd been
if we'd been like, you know,
what is this strange brown thing?
Give to dog.
Oh no, dog has died.
Must not be good for human.
What's the caveman dog name?
We've got Ugg, Uggina and Krug, sadly, who's dead.
Krug.
So you'd need a dog.
Krug's sad.
Krug.
Krug dead.
Krug faceplanted into spaghetti bar.
What would a caveman's dog be called?
I think it would just
be cool dog like dog pretty pretty case man dog dog yeah i'll dog eat chocolate
don't know why i have chocolate what about you i'm dog shitting everywhere now
crog to eat dog poo
i like this like caveman jackass episode that's just developing.
That's how we got here.
Jackass.
That's ancient history.
Oh dear Krug.
Go downhill.
Shopping cart.
Fucking hell.
I'd watch that.
I would like to see cavemen nowadays i would like to see what
they make of it i was thinking what we used to do but to take someone from just like two or three
hundred years ago like you know have you heard of samuel peeps yeah so samuel peeps was like for
anyone that doesn't know he was a he was a diarist very famous diarist he was like he was reasonably
important guy like he had pretty important jobs in his day i think he was like in charge of the
navy or something at one point but not in the military way right and he was like
an advisor to the king he lived right around the time of the great fire london which was like 1666
that's right he was around he's got this like first-hand account of life in pre-restoration
london so restoration london was like post great fire obviously and it's fascinating and his daily
life he's going here
he's meeting this guy's having lunch there he details in his diary how he has sex with prostitutes
and stuff like this no biggie um and just talks a whole bunch of stuff now i'm thinking like his
life was completely different to the way ours is now and his values were completely different
and like that and now he's not that far removed 300 years isn't really that long but for human beings
it is
well it is for us
it's pretty long
it is for us
but it's actually not that long
if you think about it
that's nothing
it's a blip
I mean there are people
that are over 100 years old
so imagine three of those people
that's it
you're in Samuel Pepys' time
it's crazy
it just shows how
fuck man
I don't want to
I don't want to be
100 years old
like
man that's not what I was saying no we're not I'm just saying that if you can think about it Fuck, man, I don't want to be 100 years old. Like, man.
That's not what I was saying.
No, we're not.
I'm just saying that if you can think about it,
there are people who've been alive.
I mean, I think one of the oldest people I've was born in like 1898
or something ridiculous like that.
Yeah, there's like, I think the oldest person alive
is like 125 years old or something.
Yeah, it's insane.
It's like French, possibly.
So a couple of them, and you're right back in restoration london it is interesting how the different values i mean how we haven't
changed as organic species species since then but what we perceive to be correct and wrong
or good or bad or right or wrong or evil or good um she's she's she's not alive anymore but she died so okay the oldest verified person on record
is french woman jean calmont who was uh born in 1875 jesus and and died in 1997 jesus all right
so she lived for 122 years and 164 days and i bet she was still getting out and about
super centenarians that that's what
they call them super centenarians yeah yeah there's a japanese woman who lived for 117 years
yeah they have a lot of these dudes where it's just like their birth certificate is just a
handwritten note that they just kept in a bag yeah in like a barn somewhere and they were like yeah i
was born in 1703.
What of it? You're like, could you prove it? Well, there's my birth certificate. Well,
it's just that it just birth and certificate are both spelt wrong. And there's no photograph.
And it looks like it's in your handwriting. That's me. All right. You know, that's the proof.
The Japanese woman is called Nabi Tajima. She was born on the 4th of August, 1900,
Tajima.
She was born on the 4th of August, 1900, 117 years ago, and she's still alive.
Damn.
That's nuts, eh?
And there's also another one.
What's it?
Well, okay, there's two Japanese people. There's also Chiyo Miyako, who was born on the 2nd of May, 1901.
He's lived for 116 years.
Yeah.
And it's still alive as well.
I think they put it down to the seafood diet, and they drink a lot of tea.
And they're not, I think in general the japanese lifestyle is quite healthy it seems to be there's three three japanese four japanese people still alive who are over 110 years
old yeah and two italians uh and there's one american that's right one american and so delphine
gibson she's born in 1903 she She's still alive, 114 years old.
She was born on the 17th of August, 1903.
So imagine sitting down and having a powwow with Debbie.
When you look at these people, right,
there's like three large groups of people
who are the most long-lived people in the world.
And one of them is a group of people in Japan.
One of them is these group of people in Italy who have this people in japan one of them is these group of people in in italy who have this mediterranean diet and one of them is america this group of
people in american who are quite religious and i think that i think the commonalities between them
is they don't eat meat that doesn't mean they're like necessarily vegetarian i think they still
have like i think they have a little some some of them have some seafood. I think the Italians have quite a bit of cheese.
But I think they're also, vegetarianism is definitely a common thing.
Like, not to the extent, like, some people I meet out in the world are like,
if they don't have meat for lunch, breakfast, and dinner, they're angry, right?
It's like my parents come around and, you know, I'm like, you know,
shall we just have a cheese sandwich?
And my dad's like, oh, I need to have some meat.
You know, what are you talking about?
You've got ham.
Like, what's wrong with you?
You know, you're not giving yourself enough nourishment.
But actually.
Yeah, you don't want to eat it every day.
We're not meant to eat it every day.
So they obviously have things that are unique.
You know, the Japanese people drink tea,
but the Americans and the Italians certainly don't.
And some of the other people.
So I think the Italians have.
But one of the other things they have is they all are still exercising.
They're still active.
They still walk in miles every day, usually.
That's a real signifier of longevity.
And they all do a lot of spice.
They all have a lot of spice.
They just are injecting it directly into their ass.
And they're eating all the red mushrooms.
Into their eyeballs and stuff.
What was the third thing?
The other third thing was community, right?
It's to have,
they have this good support structure
of family and friends around them.
They have this tight-knit community.
And so it's the people in the church in America.
It's the people in the Mediterranean islands in Italy,
and it's the Japanese sort of...
When we were in Japan, I remember,
we'd walk through this little sort of town or something,
and there would be all these old people out there in a big circle,
in the sunshine, you know, doing like dancing around and stuff.
And it was really surprising, I guess, to see,
because that's not what I'm used to seeing.
I guess certainly in
the uk people are a little bit insular families and groups are a little bit smaller you know i
don't think putting people in old folks homes is the same as what they have in japan necessarily
or some of these some of these tight-knit communities where they respect their elders and
they live with them and they look after them and they live in these larger groups. And I don't know.
So, yeah, stay active.
Don't eat too much meat.
Right.
And have a good community around you.
Don't be lonely.
You know, get out there.
Join groups.
Join social groups.
Talking about old folks' homes,
there's an old folks' home near me in Twickenham that's like an old folks' home for actors.
Yeah.
And stage performers.
And they're all, like, super old,
so you've never heard of any of them. But they're obviously famous famous in their day so my mom looked them up and she was like oh i
remember him he was quite the hunk in his time and now they're living in that home like you never see
them but the house is amazing they have all kinds of cool stuff going on occasionally you'll see
like a party through the window you'll see like a party when when my face is pressed up against it
trying to catch a glimpse of what's going on in there um you know they appear to be having a good time and
everything they have good christmas decorations every year but i was like maybe that's really
good maybe the actors are going to be happy because they're in a home with other actors
and they've got like a social thing going on they i bet their christmas play is knockout like i bet
that's amazing but maybe yeah maybe that's it being stuck on your own in one of those granny flats
praying that your kids visit you once a fortnight or whatever oh god that can't be healthy no i don't think it is i think i think
physical health though is just as important as mental health i think that people underestimate
that a lot and you can see it a lot that that people like almost like you know when i hate to
say it when you know you've got this old couple and one of them dies the other one usually doesn't
stick around much longer today and it's it's it's certainly a thing that i think maybe having the internet will change that cannot be so good
as long as the data servers are running i'm good right i see so if your wife would like
concrete you wouldn't even notice you'd be like well i better go q us east
it's good oh man man we live in interesting times definitely we do yeah i just imagine that
old debbie from the 1900s all the way up to like uh you know like born in 1901 and then living
through everything that led up to like 2017 yeah i mean that's fucking crazy she lived through two world wars like countless
fucking conflicts like that america got involved in as you know she being america she went from a
world with no cars to cars everywhere absolutely yeah technology we went into space 9-11 and
terrorism and space jfk like holy shit so much stuff has happened in her lifetime it's insane
yeah i wonder like people sort of i think a lot of people in our age seem to think that science
is gonna dig them out of holes almost it's like it's like gonna be like oh you know by the time
i'm old enough to get this disease they will have solved that disease you know or by the time
you know global warming is a thing the scientists will the boffins in the lab will have come up
with some answer for it. So we won't have to bother with, you know, terribly worry about it.
Well, it's weird, though, because the world is like, we've talked about this before, I'm sure
the world's changed a lot since like the 60s and the 70s. I think like, in the 60s and the 70s,
there was a sort of spirit of like, progressiveness and, you know, like curing things and solving problems and doing stuff because it was like really awesome and stuff.
And now it's a lot more sort of focused on how much money you can make off these things and it hamstrings the whole thing, right?
Yeah.
So like instead of curing diseases now we manage them and we we charge people
for the management of those diseases i think that's a very yeah i mean that's a quite cynical
outlook on it but i think that that is just an inevitable consequence of yeah absolutely the way
that our economy is set up you know it's you can i completely agree with what you said there that
if you were in charge of a big billion dollar drug company and someone in your company came to you and said oh hey billy we've we've come we've that's my name um ahead
of the company billy listen we've come up with a cure for aids and and he's like well quickly hide
that we're not gonna fucking you know we you know we're not gonna make any money if we cure it we
need to treat it you know i mean i don't want cures, I want treatments.
I know people who've worked for those big companies like GlaxoSmithKline and stuff like that,
and they're not actively working on cures for anything.
That's not what they do.
All they do is they think, how can we manage it?
It's not that if they stumbled across the cure for it
that they would bury it.
I think it's literally that they're just avoiding working on stuff
that looks like it might cure things.
Well, yeah.
And also, you know, diseases that it's a profit driven business.
You know, if it's like, you know, if we've got a disease that's affecting this many people, then we can make this much money.
You know, if this disease is a bit rare, it's going to be not that profitable for us to make a cure for it.
But also that kind of encourages them to make up diseases almost as well or
to try and define what diseases are. I think this is the most difficult thing when it comes
to mental health because everyone's different. Everyone's mental health is different. And
so how do you do it? How do you make a drug that works for everyone?
If you look at something like autism, you look at autism the idea that there's
been an explosion the number of people that have autism is as wrong as saying that there's been
like an explosion the number of people diagnosed with carpal tunnel right before people knew what
carpal tunnel was of course there were no fucking people being diagnosed with it same with autism
before it was fully understood or as well as it is now of course people weren't being diagnosed
with it as much as nothing there's not been an explosion in cases it's been an explosion in diagnosis that's the difference yeah autism is
like one of those ones a bit like ocd we talked about a couple of episodes ago where you know
people claim to have ocd when they don't have it and it's the same with autism people accuse other
people of having autism and they clearly don't have it because they display like one
behavior of like an autistic person you know they they call them autistic or whatever and they're
not diagnosed autistic they're not autistic yeah but it's like one of those things that just gets
thrown around very loosely now i think it's a little bit like your emotional thing sips you're
almost like saying oh well i had had an experience where I was sympathetic
to a guy who'd fallen over when I was eight years old.
What's wrong with me?
And so you're saying, what's wrong with me?
I'm some sort of pussy.
What's wrong with me?
But if you haven't had experiences like that,
or you have, it's totally fine.
Like, it doesn't make you weird or different to not,
you know, when you're a kid and you're not really sure
and your mind is like setting up,
like, I'm sure everyone's had embarrassing moments where they, I don you know, when you're a kid and you're not really sure and your mind is like setting up, like,
I'm sure everyone's had
embarrassing moments
where they,
I don't know,
pooped the bed
or,
I'm not talking about myself.
so many times.
you know,
said something that was mean
or,
you know,
don't feel bad about that,
you know,
because the fact that you're,
almost like the fact
that you're aware
that that happened
kind of negates that.
It's like,
people who
are actually insane don't think they're insane no that's it yeah um it's it's it's it's kind of
because you're able to sort of have a little think around it don't overthink it either don't get
stuck in the it's a complicated don't be hyper aware of everything that you do, but if you have some sort of ability
to reflect upon yourself sort of thing,
you're probably sort of okay.
Yeah.
But if you think that there's nothing wrong with you...
Unless you're reflecting on how delicious human flesh is.
Yeah.
If you're thinking, man, that dude I killed and ate,
that really was tasty.
So, I mean, okay, this brings me on to one thing,
I suppose, about Star Wars, right? And I don don't know whether this isn't a spoiler okay um star wars
people are like stormtroopers okay not because they've got the masks on and because they're
all uniform they aren't people right and so you can blow them up and fling them off cliffs and
do all this to them yeah if they had their masks
open and they had human faces and you saw them contort into horrific you know or have their
chins like blown off yeah yeah it would be a very different yeah yeah he was humanized the moment he
took his hat off right yeah yeah that's right he suddenly became and and so it's kind of but also
in the same way there is one bit in the new Star Wars,
which if you really are like super anti-spoilers,
I don't think this is a spoiler,
but if you are super anti-spoilers and you haven't seen the movie yet
and you're like, I don't want to hear anything.
Just pause for a second.
No, don't pause.
How long are we going to meet for?
Like literally a minute.
Okay, one minute.
But yeah, so here we go.
So Chewie dies.
There's a bit with P there's a bit with porgs right right and um there's a bit where it's like a throwaway scene where chewbacca
is holding a cooked one a cooked porg right and it's like a little miniature chicken it looks like
a rotisserie chicken that has been cooked like a tesco chicken. It looks delicious. It looks delicious. But the point is that that almost, for me,
defined the difference between what we see in supermarkets
and what we see in...
So for kids, they won't even be able to tell
that they won't even be able to associate
that cooked porg with a real porg.
Maybe, yeah.
Because it's so different.
I think he's just eating chicken somehow.
Yeah.
Do you see what I'm saying? Because most kids don't have that difference but but if you'd actually seen
chewbacca have to put a net over a pork and then like strangling the pork and then like pluck all
the feathers off the jugular and drain it out of its blood stick a fucking rotisserie thing up its
ass and you know roast it on the fire for five minutes and then and then you and then you
witness chewbacca sitting there thinking,
hang on a second, I've done this once.
What if I did it a million times? Well, exactly.
For a start, all the porgs are sitting around him
in this little bit of the film being like, you know,
if those porgs had seen him, like,
they'd be running a mile for a start, you know,
because he's surrounded by...
So anyway, I don't think that's a real spoiler.
It's not a real spoiler.
It's not a clutch scene. It's not important... So anyway, I don't think that's a real spoiler. It's not a real spoiler. It's not a clutch scene.
It's not important, you know.
But for me, that was a really weird moment in the movie
that almost signified that, yeah,
the people who've made this movie
are very hyper-aware of what they can and can't show to kids
and what's okay to show to kids
and what the sense of violence is.
It's like stormtroopers are okay to kill and maim
and put through a fan.
You know, one of them falls through a fan.
Yeah, one of them gets confeted.
And he does, he gets confeted.
And it's like, it's okay because he's in a mask
and he's nameless and he's faceless
and he doesn't have a line.
And the violence is totally cool because these...
You're right.
But maybe the next movie that's not part of the trilogy like Rogue
One will be about that stormtrooper
and the events that lead up to him getting confetti
so you have like a
you can see what his family life is like
and he's like I guess I don't know if I'm
prolific pog eater and stuff
and then like you don't feel so bad when he
gets confetti because he's a fucking monster
I'm just wondering whether we
normalize things that wondering whether we normalize
things that we shouldn't normalize
through these types of
little clever Hollywood tricks and tips
to get away.
Because they're right on the edge
of not being okay.
Right?
Do you know what I mean?
They're right.
They're human beings,
but because we've put masks on,
we could do whatever we want to them.
Well, they're mostly clones, though, right?
Clones of people, too.
But they're not clones in this, are they?
Because Finn isn't one, is he?
Yeah, no, they were clones.
Oh, that's true.
They're not clones.
They were clones.
But even then, if you clone a human being,
are you saying that the clone is not a human being?
Are they all expendable at that point?
I don't know.
It's a tough one, isn't it?
I mean, your kids are like a kind of clone. I think if there was duplicates of me i i would say yeah they're pretty expendable
actually clones of people man that's the whole point i mean people will i don't know where i
was going with that thought but i think i was just sort of wandering wandering around it because
it's kind of become it's kind of weird isn't it it's kind of weird anyway it's been there for
ages you know it's's been around for ages.
People need to find harmless exits or whatever it is for their animal urges.
Harmless, like, ways to get out their releases.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a classic thing.
I think, like, Bertrand Russell said that, you know, that's a thing that we need.
Because we are cavemen.
Yeah.
And we have these urges.
And maybe, you know, like, having these things that are fairly, you know.
So you think we can voyeuristically satisfy our desire
to see someone getting confetti?
But maybe it doesn't need to be that.
Maybe it just needs to be like the Splatoon kind of cartoony.
People exploding into puffs of fireworks.
Right, I think that's why sport is so popular.
It's because essentially you're watching a struggle,
a physical struggle between two people,
often requiring strength or skill.
And it's all, like we love to watch sport
where an object is thrown or hit very accurately or kicked.
Like there always needs to be a token involved.
Tennis ball, football, basketball, baseball,
you know, cricket ball, anything.
It always seems to involve some kind of token.
Yeah, what about karate though? Well, karate is fighting. That's just the purest, cricket ball, anything. It always seems to involve some kind of token. Yeah, what about karate, though?
Well, karate is fighting.
That's just the purest ball, like boxing, wrestling.
Yeah.
Or, you know, so, I mean, there are some things like Formula One,
which obviously probably doesn't appeal to our caveman instincts,
but more of our sort of, ooh, look how fast they're going instincts.
Well, competitiveness and whatever.
Yeah, but even just seeing some, I mean, look at drag racing.
Drag racing, you're just watching two very loud noisy
things go
like you know
along a track
so that's appealing
to us sort of
you know sort of
a wow isn't that
cool
so yeah
but I think a lot
of sport if you
really look at it
we want to see
crunching tackles
and people getting
kicked up in the air
we want to see
amazing feats of
dexterity and stuff
like that
and I think that's
the same kind of
thing as much as
we would like to
see Ugg really smash that Wilderness yeah because i don't know how much human on human like killing
was built is built into our caveman genome in a sense like how much of that needs to be satisfied
by when you watch a movie how many how much gratuitous violence does there have to be you
know does there have to be any because i watch a lot of kung fu movies and you know they don't
have to fight necessarily 500 different guys.
It's mostly just a couple of guys
fighting for a while.
Or, you know,
one big guy,
two badasses
and they're both super badass.
Yeah, yeah.
Who's the most badass?
Do you know what I mean?
That's what it's about.
It's like a struggle.
It's like wrestling.
But here's the thing, right?
Wrestling is not one guy versus 500.
It's true.
Although that would be awesome.
Yeah.
But the thing is, movies didn't used to be this violent.
TV didn't used to be this violent.
When, there's a director called Sam Peckinpah, right?
He directed a very famous Western called The Wild Bunch,
one of my favorite movies.
And this was revolutionary in terms of the violence
it portrayed on screen, right?
No film had been this violent before.
Like films were just not violent.
If someone shot, you'd see them, a shot of them going bang, and then you cut to a shot of the guy going erg and falling over so having
the shot of the guy pulling the trigger and someone dying in the same frame was like unheard
of yeah the old the old war movies with like the ballerina death scene right you know it's like
that so nowadays i mean geez if you look at like you were saying that guy gets turned into confetti
that wouldn't happen in a movie 50 years ago especially a kid's movie well exactly i mean geez if you look at like you were saying that guy gets turned into confetti that wouldn't happen in a movie 50 years ago especially a kid's movie well exactly i mean
even a star wars like i mean think about the original star wars a lot of the time they will
you know especially in the first movie they're running away from the stormtroopers yeah they're
not actively like just sizing their way through these places yeah kind of like so if this is
about satisfying some innate desire in us to see people getting
torn apart why is it only now why didn't we have that previously or was it literally because
that was most people's every day for a very long time this is tested well with audiences and it's
this natural evolution towards what people want no i think our daily lives are so non-violent and
non-struggle based in the west that we're happy to see this kind of shit we're
just like we just we're just like desensitized to it because we're not sensitive to it i don't think
we were ever desensitized to i just think we were never sensitive to it because it's just an alien
concept to most i think it might just be the whole concept of facelessness though like you know if
if you can't put like a name and a face on something then you don't value
it and you don't and you're happy to just kill it maybe do you know what i mean yeah maybe like a
storm on the topic of violence and people getting killed it actually sounds in the background like
that's happening oh yes that's is that mousey is recording in our office so you this whole podcast
has been punctuated by screeching by mousey screaming yeah she isn't being strangled i
promise she's fine.
Maybe she is, actually.
Should we check on that?
I was tempted to look
because earlier it sounded like she was sobbing.
But then I realised it was all part of the video.
So whatever it is she's recording,
if a video comes out and...
It's a tearjerker.
It's a real tearjerker.
Then you know when it was recorded.
This podcast has gone up and down a lot of ways.
It's not been very Christmassy.
We were thinking of doing a live one. It'll Christmassy. We were thinking of doing a live one.
It'll actually be Christmas.
We were thinking of doing a live one
where me and Lewis sit in the streaming room,
but we didn't.
No, we didn't.
We might be able to do a live one next week
if you're around, Sips.
That might be nice for Pete.
Okay, we could try it.
I'll be around.
We've got the setup for dad decks and stuff,
so you'd be able to get me on the screen and stuff.
Cool.
I can do it.
Yeah, thanks, Doug.
I've met a lot of people this year who've been big fans of Triforce,
and a lot of people have said great things about this podcast.
Someone posted on the Reddit that we're one of the top downloaded comedy podcasts.
Yeah, which I can't believe.
Behind Russell Brand.
I mean, top 100.
He's actually a real
flippant celebrity and stuff.
And actually is a professional,
you know,
who knows what he's doing.
Wanker.
Whereas,
I don't think we should say
things like that about,
you know,
other people.
I think Russell Brand's a cool guy.
I'm a big fan of Russell Brand.
About our competition.
We need to rise above it.
You know,
maybe this time next year,
we're going to be the top
one downloaded
comedy podcast
and then
Russell Brand
is going to turn around
and be like
that guy called me a wanker
it's going to
discredit us
I stand by it
get out of here
I'm not going to be
mates with Russell Brand
ever
I'm never going to work
with Russell Brand
why would I ever
come into contact with him
he's a nice guy
he's not
we might come
we might do a podcast
with him
you might want to
you know
the best comedy podcast
come together
I've got one final word
to say on it
what
what if one day
you need blood
and he donates blood
to you
would you change your mind
no
what if Mal is like
dying
listen to her
she needs his blood
and he's going to
give it
she's bleeding out in there
I would confetti him
scoop up the blood
and pour it down her neck
and stop
okay
well
Jesus
alright
he's got a lot of hair though
there'd be
just like a
it'd be like really
like furball
hairy blood
alright
let's end the podcast
on that
on that bombshell
thanks everyone for listening
there goes the Russell Brand tie-in series we were going to do
a whole bunch of
brand deals
I know a lot of you were looking forward to it
but Flax cucked us so we're fucked now
we can't do it so anyway
Merry Christmas and have a great Christmas
Happy New Year
see you next time
bye Merry Christmas. Have a great Christmas. Yeah, we'll see you next time, everyone. See you next time. All right.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.