Triforce! - Triforce! #80: Artisan Donuts
Episode Date: October 24, 2018Triforce! Episode 80! Pyrion is Global Warming ready, Sips wants some artisan donuts and Lewis has some great ideas. Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastc...hoices.com/adchoices
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hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast with me and Sips and Perion.
I was a fucking, there was a full stop between me and Sips. Full stop and Perion.
I didn't leave any space. I think I just fucking go for it.
You've got to leave room for the applause, that's why.
You have to imagine that you're on a stage in front of a crowd of about half a dozen people.
And you know know when you say
the names the crowd erupts. Yeah true. With applause they love it. So I'm hungover.
Woo! Hungover? Yeah I was still a little drunk when I woke up this morning.
Oh my god what did you do last night? I just went out to the pub.
Oktoberfest. Well jeez. I went out to the pub with my mates um who hadn't seen him in a while oh yeah and uh
because you know they have real jobs and none of us live near each other we're all over careful
lewis might get jealous just careful tread carefully okay so i've been cutting down on the
old uh midweek drinking right which is something i would drink like pretty much every day to have
a have a couple of ciders while i was streaming just to unwind and everything sure and uh and i
was like you know what this probably isn't healthy so um i've cut back on on that so i've i've de-fortified
my body um towards alcohol i guess so i had like i think i had like five pints um in fairly short
order and then i got the train home and i bought a burger and i couldn't eat it on the train because
i hate eating in front of other people in public transport so i thought i'll have it when i get in yeah so i got home and i was having having a bite of my burger i was like
jesus i better go to bed so i had like two bites of it went to bed woke up still pretty drunk when
i was looking after the kids in the morning which isn't a good thing um so i'm feeling a bit delicate
but i haven't been hung over in ages and i've forgotten how fucking crappy it is was the burger
half eaten like on your bedside table?
I had a little bit more this morning.
Of course, yeah.
Jesus.
That's where it goes, yeah.
Was it one of those burgers that they just overfill
and like everything runs out of it?
Where you take a bite,
just like a bunch of shit falls out the back of it?
Sadly not.
It was a Burger King burger.
There's a Burger King at Waterloo
and I got it from there.
I don't even remember buying it, honestly.
They do a pretty tight burger, actually. They they're like all contained like nothing really drips yeah
it's all very very uh manufactured well you know what i was thinking about this the other day
burger king is probably one of the most depressing burger chains that's still left they don't feel
like the king somehow do you know i feel it's a it's a The honorific needs to be adjusted to just burger. Burger pauper.
Burger peasant.
Burger peasant.
Burger peasant.
They've definitely entered this world of burger hipsters, though, right?
Or at least it felt like that.
Like Five Guys sort of felt much premium and gourmet burger.
Yeah, Burger King did feel like it was a better quality burger than McDonald's,
even though it's probably not.
Back in the day.
It seemed like it.
But now it's been surpassed.
And their menu doesn't seem to have changed in a very long time.
It's been squeezed down.
Yeah.
And also now, I mean, the Burger King in Twickenham
is just the most sad place.
There's like two people in there ever.
It's big and dingy and dark.
There's only ever one person working on the counter
because they're so quiet.
I just feel like, you know,
McDonald's at least listened to people saying the McDonald's. person working on the counter because they're so quiet i just feel i feel like you know mcdonald's
at least listened to people saying the mcdonald's mcdonald's was like burger king is now a few years
ago and then they thought you know what let's jazz everything up and they've got like it's much
brighter in there now when you go to mcdonald's it's quite fancy looking compared to the way it
used to fuck me i i had a mcdonald's birthday when i was a kid. Wasn't it special back then?
It was really special.
It was so special. Yeah, back when they had Ronald McDonald,
but now where's he? Everyone in my class
wanted to come with me to that
McDonald's birthday.
That's when I had friends,
guys. That was the last time. That's what it takes.
Remember they had Grimace and
Hamburglar? Yeah, Hamburglar.
They just wanted to come with me for the chicken nuggets
yeah whatever yeah i used to like uh mcdonald's chicken nuggets back in the day chicken sweet
and sour sauce they're still good honestly yeah now it's now you can get chicken selects
which is just breaded chicken but the nuggets are still still pretty dank yeah i mean again like
it's funny how we talk so fondly of burgers and nuggets when they are kind of the
epitome of of manufactured meat oh it's horrible yeah gross processed meat yeah it's like um why
why do we have i mean even the word gourmet in front of a burger feels like it does it has no
effect on some people though some people just don't don't give a shit like i went to hollywood
with um
terps to do this thing for hearthstone and we were there with trump you know uh trump the
yeah not the president the streamer and uh trump and terps bought 50 chicken nuggets in a huge box
these are the best chicken nuggets yeah and they and they ate them together uh and i just i drink
in a milkshake and watching this happening.
And both of those guys are just completely, they don't give a fuck about processed meat at all.
They're just like, yeah, whatever.
Give me the nuggets. The thing is, it is fucking delicious.
Well, yeah, that's it.
But they put a lot of like different shit into them, right?
Like there's sugar in there and stuff.
And like, you know know there's even sugar in
their fries or at least there used to be and like nature can't compete yeah you know yeah nature has
had plenty of time to try and make a chicken delicious over the years right yeah over millions
of generations people think things have been eating chickens and we've been breeding them to
be more and more delicious uh you know domesticated we've been plumping them up yeah we've been feeding
them all sorts of stuff different things yeah i know we've been plumping them up yeah we've been feeding them
all sorts of stuff different things yeah i know we've fucking fed if we could feed chickens like
i don't know if we could feed chickens like dog shit okay and it made them even more delicious
that would be on the fucking fucking shelf in in fucking wait wait chose it says organically
fucking there'd be legislation that stated
like the moment a shit leaves your dog's
asshole outside it becomes
property of the state as well
exactly, and people would be scooping that shit up
you'd be able to put it in a little
doggy bag and instead of a doggy bin
you'd have a post bin, right, where you'd post
it to the fucking factory
where they would sell luxury made
dog shit, and people would eat the shit out of it.
Well,
that would be a lot better than people who leave their dog shits in the park
for my kids to fall face first into.
I hate that so much.
It's so annoying.
Like fucking,
I get that people like dogs and they want to have dogs and stuff,
but holy shit,
if it takes a shit outside,
just clean it up.
Like do the trick where you put your hand in the bag inside out and then, mean i know i know some people use the bare hand like i get it like that's gross use
the little scoopy thing or a piece of card if you touch dog shit it's what that's not even that's
not even an urban myth go going blind from touching dogs it's dangerous yeah cat shit is
bad too cats are i think cats are the worst because people let their cats outside and their cats just
roam around everywhere shitting.
They shit all over my lawn.
Like, every fucking day there's cat shit in my backyard.
It's terrible.
I think you can get toxoplasmosis.
That was in Trainspotting.
The guy got toxoplasmosis from all the cat shit lying around.
We're not meant to live next to poop
it's a bad thing and that's the thing these animals like well i don't even know like dude
did dogs live in the wild like before we started breeding them and stuff like what what were dogs
before they became ultra domesticated and bred for domestication they were just wolves like
well what about like jack russell carriers like that're man-made right they're well they're selectively bred there were no wild jack
russells no yeah that's what i'm saying like it's it's crazy right that they the same thing
oh my god look at that in the forest over there a pack of wild jack russells it's the same thing
it's the same thing with um with guinea pigs you know little guinea pigs that you buy from the
store apparently their gene pool is is super super weak now because of all the breeding and stuff that they've done.
And a lot of them seem healthy at first, but their lifespan is like super reduced to like three, four years,
where they should live about seven or eight years because they just come with all of these genetic problems
because of all the inbreeding and stuff like that.
It's kind of sad, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
They're really cute.
They're small and cute,
and they're great little pets and stuff, too.
It's a ship pet.
They do nothing.
Oh, come on.
If you're going to get a pet, they're the easiest.
You don't really have to do anything.
They don't even really want to see you.
Yeah, but they don't do anything either.
Exactly.
They just live in a box.
I feel bad because they just live in a box.
They should be running wild in Peru or wherever they're from.
Oh, no. They're preyed upon by pretty much every other animal, so they're safer in a box i feel bad because they just live in a box they should be running wild in peru or wherever they're from oh no they're preyed upon by pretty much every other animal they're safer in a box
they're used to that animals are used to that they've evolved to deal with the fact that they're
just going to get eaten a lot of the time well this is the thing i was talking about to people
like i think that for people who have like pets these things is the thing is that these guinea
pigs now have been so and birds too like domestic like pet
birds yeah i mean so domesticated over hundreds well in some cases thousands of years i mean like
yeah but that's it it's been it's been going on for a long ass time domesticated cats didn't they
yeah i think it was i think it was obviously like south americans who domesticated guinea
pigs and i think it was fucking like thousands of years ago that it happened. Hundreds of thousands.
I doubt it.
Not thousands. No one had pets.
They had the choice back then of whether or not they were going to domesticate a dinosaur or a guinea pig.
And then they just sort of weighed it up and they thought,
this T-Rex isn't going to fit in my backyard.
Maybe I'll just go for the guinea pig, you know.
It's easier.
It's easier.
And they're just not good to survive.
They can't survive on their own.
Not really, no.
You know, if it was a zombie apocalypse, they'd all die out with us.
You know what I read the other day?
That grass was not around when the dinosaurs were around.
I assume that's what dinosaurs ate, but they didn't.
They ate ferns and things.
Grass is like a thing that became very popular in the 50s, I think it was,
when they started making uh big suburbs in
america they built for grass um like shot up and it's a it's a european thing i think they they
actually started growing uh grass from specific grains to make like you know like lawn grass or
whatever uh but then it became like this this this thing in America where everybody had to have like manicured
properties and stuff like that.
So it was very sought after.
And that's why there's so much grass now.
It was the voice of the people.
It was the demand.
People wanted to have nice Wisteria Lane like houses.
You know, they wanted to have these big suburban houses with nice lawns that the guy
could mow the grass on the weekend
after a hard week of working
at the stapler factory
back in the 1950s. Middle America.
Yeah, it was,
it all came from that, and then that sort of just
became the... Hey, Joe!
Oh, hi, Mark, how are you?
Oh, it became like the norm.
How's the stapler factory going? Oh, well, Mark. It became this sort of status quo. It became like the norm. How's the stapler factory going?
Oh, well, Pam stapled her face to the staple machine last week.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's just her eyelids are just stapled shut now.
It's just a disaster.
Poor Pam.
Poor Pam.
Poor Pam.
God damn.
Well, see you.
Oh, bye.
How's she gonna...
This is the 50s, right?
How the hell is she gonna do the dishes now?
She won't be able to see all the stuff on the...
That's right.
On the dishes, Pam.
Actually, she wouldn't work at the Staple...
Oh, yeah.
If she's working at the Staple factory, maybe things are different.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Who knows?
But, yeah, that's where...
That's the story of grass.
Is grass good?
That's my question. Is it good for the world of grass. Is grass good? That's my question.
Is it good for the world?
Grass?
Is it?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Is it like, does it stop kind of the dust bowl?
Do you know what I mean?
Does it like, does growing grass on this land stop it becoming kind of just.
Here's the, here's things that grass does.
Okay.
Yeah.
Looks nice.
Yeah.
It provides food for a shitload of animals.
Yeah. Yeah. Looks nice. Yeah. It provides food for a shitload of animals. Yeah. Right. Um,
it, it binds soil together, like you were saying, to prevent it just blowing away. Cause the top layer of soil would just blow away. Yeah. You get to play football on it. Provides a nice place for
wild dogs and cats to shit on. Is it good for greenhouse, greenhouse effect as well? Is it like,
well, it's a plant. Is it a good reflector? No,ctor no it's um what do you mean greenhouse effect he means is it does it absorb carbon i guess uh no i mean like does it work like as a
does it work as a reflector because a lot of stuff isn't really very reflective like modern
urbanization is sort of a heat sink it makes the earth hotter i think clouds are the main source
of reflection honestly yeah it's all the gas in the air that's the reflective stuff like the
it's all it's it's basically like the greenhouse gases are what are reflecting all the all the
shit down onto the earth where it wouldn't normally so no the greenhouse gases keep the
heat in this is the problem no they're like it's like a big blankie yeah i think that's the that
i think that's the misconception i think that people, because it's called the greenhouse effect,
everybody assumes that it keeps the heat in.
But I think the gases in the atmosphere that are there in abundance now,
which they never used to be from burning like fossil fuels and stuff like that,
they help reflect the energy of the sun down onto the earth more so.
How would they do that?
Sort of thing.
That doesn't make sense.
I don't know, man. I'm not a scientist, but that's how it works.
Yeah, but I don't think you're right.
Well, look it up!
I think you're wrong. I will.
Look, I just-
Look it up right now, I'm right, I'm telling you.
Greenhouse effect.
Research- research confirms that-
The trapping of the sun's warmth in a planet's lower atmosphere,
due to the greater transparency of the atmosphere to visible radiation from the sun,
than to infrared radiation emitted from the planet's surface.
Oh, God, here, hang on a second, let me find this thing.
I was reading about this recently, this is why, this is why,
okay, the greenhouse effect, okay?
Are you ready for this? The greenhouse effect.
Solar, wait, wait, wait, I'm reading it.
Solar radiation passes through the atmosphere,
that's incoming solar radiation from the sun.
About half the solar radiation is absorbed by the
Earth's surface. Then it
bounces back. Radiation is
converted to heat energy, causing the emission of
long-wave infrared radiation back to the
atmosphere. Some of the infrared radiation
is absorbed and re-emitted by
the greenhouse gas molecules. That's what you're referring to,
I think. Some of the solar radiation is reflected
by the atmosphere and the Earth's surface. Some of the infrared radiation passes through the
atmosphere and out into space. If a planet's atmosphere contains radiatively active gases,
i.e. greenhouse gases, they will radiate energy in all directions. Part of this radiation is
directed towards the surface, warming it. The intensity of the downward radiation, that is,
the strength of the greenhouse effect, will depend on the atmosphere's temperature and on the amount of greenhouse gases that the
atmosphere contains. Earth's natural greenhouse effect is critical to supporting life human
activities. Mainly the burning of fossil fuels and clearing of forests have strengthened the
greenhouse effect and caused global warming. The term greenhouse effect arose from a faulty
analogy with the effect of sunlight passing through glass and
warming a greenhouse the way a greenhouse retains heat is fundamentally different as greenhouse
works mostly by reducing air flows that the warm air is kept inside oh so why'd they give it a shit
name because fucking people are stupid that's why it sounds better right and it's it's easier for
people that don't know what it is to understand right like they called it everybody knows that a greenhouse is warm but they shouldn't call
it global warming either because the problem is it's then people say but it's cold like climate
change is a better name right here's a question our greenhouse is good for the green greenhouse
effect our greenhouse is good for the greenhouse effect i don't think trapping warm air inside a very small building in your backyard uh to help you grow tomatoes is part
of the problem really right i don't think it has any you know one of the solutions i'm not an expert
though well neither am i because i was dead wrong well let's look it up and read out one of the
solutions they had i remember reading this a while back, some scientist, I always imagine when they have these meetings in the government,
they're like, all right, Mr. President, we have our top scientific advisor here,
Mr. Nordstrom.
Mr. Nordstrom, would you please share your findings?
Yeah, I have an idea, Mr. President.
We must build a giant mirror and put it in space
to reflect some of the sunlight away from the earth It would cost merely 10 billion dollars and 50 years to build this giant mirror
But they were thinking of doing it building a big fucking metal disc that unfurls in space to reflect some of the
sunlight from the earth back and
Sunlight because apparently if we could adjust up like two or three percent of the sunlight hitting the earth
it would counteract a lot of the warming effect.
Yeah.
But I think the reason they didn't want to do it is because people would stick a big mirror in space and go,
problem solved, and just fucking leave it there.
Even though there's more problems than just the sun.
Like the problem is we shouldn't be pumping all this shit into the atmosphere and polluting and everything like that.
Like let's solve that problem rather than build a giant fucking mirror and pretend we've solved i mean jesus christ yeah that's the thing like i
mean there's there's a lot of like very smart people all over this now and have been for years
and stuff and like i think they've made recommendations that have pretty much been
ignored um there's certain things that they that they changed over the years like the like it was
what is it was it cfcs the um yeah they banned those yeah and then they and then instead that
they used hfcs which they've now banned as well because of the effect on like ozone which is like
you know the the holes in the ozone layer and stuff like that so they've they've made some
steps but like you know
still the fact that we're just like belching out tons of fucking carbon like you know by refining
oil and you know what driving cars and container ships container ships are a big problem too
if you look at the top 20 like the 20 biggest container ships in the world is so fucking big and use such horrible fuel
that those 20 ships alone produces much pollution or more than all the cars in the world chuck out
so these things are just running all the fucking time yeah huge things think how big their engines
are and the fuel they use is like they don't just stick diesel in there or something they're sticking
like god knows what in there and we've just got all this shit that we're just thinking you know what it's fine this won't harm anything but i think one of
one of the problems with grass as well and i think i think mostly it's pretty good but i think one of
the things that people are concerned about with grass is that the amount of fresh water that
grass tends to consume from people like watering their lawns and stuff you know especially if it's
dry or whatever it's like it's like a lot of fresh water used for something oh they do that in hollywood
a lot don't they that's a big thing just looks looks nice you know what i mean like it's it
doesn't really serve any other purpose other than to like look pretty good and you know your kids
can play on it your sheep can eat your sheep can yeah your sheep can eat the the grass i mean
there's been a the thing is there's
been a big move for people sticking astroturf down in their gardens right so i see a lot of
people do that now because well you know grass is pretty pretty good looking the thing with the
astroturf is that um it uses um it uses rubber like it uses it usually recycled rubber from like
old tires and shit like that which is fine the problem is is that
when astroturf um retains a ton of heat right so if it's a super hot day and the sun is is beating
down on it the rubber like melts slightly and can be toxic like people people have died from it
like not a lot but what eating it or just being near it just being near it like the the like the emissions given off i'm going to rub
my face on the uh grass and breathe a lot so i mean it's not like it's not we're not talking about
like you know it wiping out the population of a small town or whatever but there have definitely
been cases that have been linked back to it um and you know it's it gets super fucking hot like
like like hot like so hot that you couldn't step on it with your bare feet sort of thing,
whereas grass, even if it's hot,
you can step on it with your bare feet and stuff like that.
But it's low maintenance, right?
Well, this is apparently why it's better for climate change
than, like, actual grass,
because you don't have to constantly be using your lawnmower to mow it
and watering it and fiddling with it
all the time getting it perfect yeah you know all of that extra it's just poisonous but yeah
no it's a balancing act right it's one evil or another they're all we're gonna fuck the world
regardless yeah we are yeah might as well enjoy that burger we might as well yeah enjoy that
burger while you're sitting on your astrotTurf and, you know, fucking driving your car around your AstroTurf and stuff.
I did look at a couple of, when I was looking around at moving recently, I found a couple of places and one of them had this AstroTurf garden.
It looked like the cheapest, tackiest shit you've ever seen in your life.
So you bought the place.
So I'm recording out of my AstroTurf garden right now.
I'm actually outside right now
Sitting on my AstroTurf
It's got this funny smell though
It's quite a hot day
Fumes are just
Very dizzy
Going to my head
I feel so good
Might be low blood sugar though
It just might be low blood sugar
So I watched a movie
I watched a movie
It was on
Turner Classic Movies channel
Which I like
TTM
I watch it quite a lot
Right
And it was called Executive Decision With Kurt Russell Oh yeah Right Kurt Russell yeah Turner Classic Movies channel, which I like on TTM. I watch it quite a lot. Right.
And it was called Executive Decision with Kurt Russell.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Kurt Russell, yeah.
So this film had quite a decent cast.
It had Kurt Russell.
It had Steven Seagal, who I can't stand, but he was in it.
Yeah.
Halle Berry was in it.
It had John Leguizamo in it.
It had Oliver Platt in it.
And it had the guy who was in charge of,
what was the name of it?
Was it Dining Industries in Terminator 2?
Where the black guy that they have to go and tell him,
you've got to destroy this chip or you're going to create the Skynet.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And in the end, he gets shot
and he drops the thing that blows up the building, right?
Spoilers, but anyway.
Him, he was in it. And a couple of other people i recognized were in it and uh this movie is the
plane gets taken over oh david sushi like fucking puero was in it he was the bad guy right nice um
so he's he's in it and uh i was watching this movie and basically these terrorists take over
a plane led by sushi and um they've got a bomb on board.
So the lads decide they're gonna sneak up to the plane on a stealth bomber with a tube that goes between the stealth bomber and the plane and sneak in through this hatch underneath.
And this is quite near the start of the film. The hatch goes fwoomp, sticks onto the plane.
They've equalized the pressure and they're climbing up this ladder to get into the plane.
One of them falls and knocks himself out.
So they're trying to struggling to get him out before the seal breaks.
And just as it's about to break, they're like, Stephen Seagal has climbed the ladder.
And they say, Stephen Seagal, you're not going to make it.
And he goes, you will.
And he closes the hatch, sealing his own doom.
And the tunnel gets blown off the ship and he flies off into the atmosphere and dies.
And the plane spins out of control and the
pilot jettisons out so now they're stuck on the plane and they have to figure out where the bomb
is defuse it and then kill the terrorists and take the plane back over before it enters u.s airspace
and gets shot down by the u.s air forces the f-17s or 16s or whatever they're flying where does the
executive decision come in like when is that one made? I'll tell you.
First of all, the president is not in the movie at all.
Like, he's obviously... I don't know how they couldn't just get an actor
to play the president.
It's like the president was out of the country.
They could have even done, like, a Steinbrenner sort of thing.
Yeah, they could have.
You see the back of him, and he's like,
I'm making an executive decision.
Exactly.
But they didn't.
So at one point,
they decide they're going to shoot the plane down
because they've run out of time.
It's going to enter US airspace.
It's got this nerve agent bomb. It's going to blow up. Big problem. But there's going to shoot the plane down because they've run out of time it's going to enter us airspace it's got this nerve agent bomb it's going to blow up big problem but there's a
guy on the plane they think they defuse the bomb but then they realize that there's a trigger man
on the plane right even if they defuse the the trigger mechanism and the timer this guy can just
go boop and push a button and blow the bomb up okay so they realize they have to find the trigger
man who's like a hidden passenger kill him and then they can kill the rest of the terrorists and defuse the bomb. So two
things intrigued me all right. First of all that to come back to the executive
decision why it's called that at one point in the movie a guy says you better
get the president on the phone if we're gonna shoot this plane down this is an
executive decision in other words only the president can say yes shoot those
civilians to save more civilians that's the the decision that he has to make.
So he's got to decide, is it better that we kill the 400 passengers on this plane to stop the bomb?
Or do we just let it blow up over Washington and kill a million people?
So that was the executive decision.
So first of all, at one point, Kurt Russell's like, I think I've spotted the lad, like the trigger man.
So they've got all these cameras.
In his own words.
Yeah.
They've got these little cameras that they've poked through into the, you know,
because they are sort of above the main compartment in this hidden crawl space.
And they drill, literally with a hand drill, like, drill a hole.
Nobody notices that none of the dust falling from the ceiling attracts anyone's attention.
Drill holes through the plane's ceiling so they can peek in with these tiny
cameras like the SAS do, have a look and see if they can spot the lad. So they
spot him and Kurt Russell, they're all ready to go, they're like okay,
because these commanders are like, alright, what we'll do is blow the doors, we'll kill the
lights, we'll go in there and hit them hard, we'll kill all these guys, bingo
bango, no problem. So they're all on board with that plan, they're ready to do it,
and suddenly Kurt Russell just decides he's gonna fucking go in because he thinks he spotted
the trigger man doesn't tell anyone his plan doesn't relay this over the radio just hides he
literally hides behind hallie berry in the most stupid way he's like crouched behind her and
getting her to walk forward like there's no way you would miss him he's walking through the passenger
area there's all terrorists knocking about he's's there with his gun, just hiding behind Halle Berry.
Goes to shoot the guy, and it's just some guy smuggling diamonds for some reason.
He thinks it was the trigger device, but it was just a load of diamonds in a box.
He's like, oh shit, it's the wrong guy.
Suddenly spots the real guy.
All hell breaks loose.
And the other commanders are like, what the fuck?
He's just gone in there.
So I'm wondering if the executive decisions that Kurt Russell decided,
all this planning, like an hour and a half of build-up build-up he just goes fucking i'm
yoloing in and just fucking goes in yeah i was like where's the sense in this kurt russell isn't
and he's never shot anyone in his life he's just a fucking uh analyst of some kind why is he rocking
in there what's up with that high risk high reward it was stupid he pulled it off it was no he did he
barely did he barely did
yeah but he still did that's the main thing there was a happy should let the commandos handle i just
couldn't believe that the film was quite sensible up to that point and then kurt russell just goes
fuck it just goes in what well sometimes that is the decision that you make right sometimes i could
see that in my own life you know sometimes you've been over and over something so many fucking times sometimes you're like fuck it i can't talk about this anymore let's just do it yeah you know it's
like who cares yeah but there's not 400 lives at stake and potentially you know there's a nerve
agent that's going to detonate i mean yeah uh you're talking about things like having a burger
or having some grass in your garden or switching to astroturf those are it's like it's like you're in a restaurant yeah you got a menu you're like
you know it just i'll have white i have a burger who cares like i don't care
just hungry yeah some is that an executive decision so so so first of all executive decision
because you're the executive of your life right so you you say you know what it i've had enough
you know i'm having a bad day
i think i think eating this burger is going to make me feel a bit better i'm making the executive
decision for myself to buy a burger king burger king burger i'll have to get the president on
this one mr president nuggets yeah burger that's what's great about being like even a young adult
you know when you get to that point like with a remember the first time you had a bit of money and your parents dropped you off at the movie theater
oh man friends and you're just like fuck holy shit like i've got all this money and i can buy
whatever i want with yeah so and then you buy like 10 chocolate bars and watch a movie that it's a
great feeling isn't it yeah it's like that that that first little it's that first little sniff of freedom from from being oppressed by the man
you know the thing is people always think that oppression and freedom and everything can be
achieved politically but i think honestly the biggest freedom you can give people is that they
have some fucking money like that's what actually gives people the most freedom to make their own
decisions and stuff like that they need some money a little bit of money yeah they don't need billions
they just need enough money that they are actually that people give a shit about just
to do a couple of fun things you know just just enough money that they like the decision is there
yes exactly rather than have everything they'd like rather than like oh i have to do this now
you've got a choice now you're a consumer and and the man will actually give a shit about you that's
the that's the the shame of it is when people don't have money,
no one gives a shit.
Yeah, because they know that you're useless
in terms of making profits and stuff like that.
You generate nothing.
You consume a little.
Yeah, that's why having money,
giving people enough money to become empowered
is so important, I think.
What you're saying is that money buys happiness.
I did not say that, Lewis.
In the words of Jacob Bronowski. In the context of our society and stuff, thing what you're saying is that money buys happiness i did not say that lewis in the in
the words of jacob brunoski in the context of our society and stuff it doesn't buy happiness but it
gives you options in the in the words of jacob brunoski a great man if you haven't seen the
ascent of man tv series from bbc from like i think the 70s it's brilliant and you should watch it
yeah it's fantastic he talks about all the different things that happened in history that
really helped mankind become
sort of what it is now
bear in mind in the 70s and 80s I guess everything was
looking pretty rosy for the future we were thinking
everything's going to be awesome
obviously it isn't but the thing is he said
the good life is not found in
material decency but the good life
must be based on material
decency so he's saying that
once you give poor people
the chance to lead a decent life materially,
other good things will follow from that.
Like, you can't just give people shit and that makes them happy.
But that's where the good life begins.
Because then you don't have to worry about shit.
And mass production of things like, even simple stuff like cutlery and plates
and clothes and furniture has enabled
people to have a decent life materially and then happiness can come from that if you if you continue
to build it i thought that was really deep i like that a lot so when people say money doesn't buy
you happiness it's true but it also but it allows happiness to exist i think whereas the lack of any
material decency makes everything so shitty but it doesn't
really matter i think it definitely improves the quality of life like in terms of like standards
you know like like stuff you said like cutlery and and you know like advances in hygiene and
stuff like that means that you're not fucking sick all the goddamn time i mean we're still a
little bit sick but we're not we're not like you're dying in our 30s for the most part
and stuff now you know like like all of these things are are very good and probably generated
quite a bit of happiness i think like people's living standards generally in the west at least
have to contribute some happiness back to them a little bit right like like i would be miserable
if i lived in a log cabin with no running water or electricity, for instance.
Some people seek that shit out.
Some people do, yeah.
And more power to them if that's what they want to do.
And that makes them happy.
Personally, I would not be happy.
I could tolerate it.
I don't think I would be, like, a useless mess.
Like, I would get on with it.
mess like i would get on with it but if i'd if i'd if i'd had the luxury of running water and electricity in the past i would be like fuck this shit like i just want to get back to running water
and electricity like this is not how i want to live the rest of my life but i i do understand
how some people are attracted to that and they want to do it yeah yeah give people enough money
to buy a burger yeah yeah well well, you know what, though?
It doesn't have to be a dog shit fed burger.
Give a man a burger and he'll eat for just a day.
Give him the means
to go to Burger King all the time
and he will be a happy man.
I think social systems
do kind of give people the money for a burger,
but the problem is the bar is set
so high, right? It's not the burger
that makes people think that they're going to be happy.
It's like all of the shit, right?
Yeah, they need the fries and they need the Coke as well.
You got to have the big TV and you got to have this and that and everything else and the car and like all this really expensive stuff.
And then I think that just ends up making people feel miserable as well, right?
what and then i think that just ends up making people feel miserable as well right there's like there's definitely it's sort of like a standard that people have in mind what of the things that
they need to have or the things that they feel like and it seems to like it keeps going it keeps
going the the bar for where the good life begins seems to keep moving like it rather than just
right we got there we're in a good place infant mortality rates are super like historically compared to humanity's 100 000 200 000 years or whatever of i mean apparently i'm
reading a book called sapiens at the moment which i really recommend it's very good oh yeah it's
really good i mean honestly this this fucking show is full of great recommendations i mean
honestly like i'm gonna it is i'm gonna like i watched the vietnam war thing oh that was good
did you like that did you watch the whole thing?
It's like 20 hours
That's all I've done
Over the last week honestly
All I do every week
Is write down
While I'm listening to this podcast
The stuff
And then over the next week
I'm gonna watch the
Ascent of Man again
Oh it's so good
The same team who made
The Ascent of Man
Also made Cosmos
Which was the Carl Sagan
Famous series in the 80s
And they also made one before
Called Civilization
Which was This guy called Kenneth Clark went around.
And it was very British,
but he basically talked about fucking civilization,
like history and all these.
It was very famous and very good.
Even now, it stands up as watchable.
Even though it was made like fucking 15 years before it was made,
it was made in like fucking 1970 or 1969.
Ridiculous.
A long time ago.
But history. That's when I was born.
It's the Byzantium's as far away now as it was in the 70s.
You know, nothing's really changed from the sort of the idea of like creating content around.
Like we don't know.
We're sure we know a little bit more, but maybe we're a little bit better on the details.
And it's coming coming at it from a different angle.
But it's still like really interesting to see, like just a different viewpoint. You know, the 70s, the people around there did have a different angle. But it's still really interesting to see just a different viewpoint.
The 70s, the people around there
did have a different outlook on life.
They did have a different viewpoint.
There was Canadia and the space race
and white picket fences
and people go to work in the stapler factories.
It was different.
It was a different time.
They didn't have Burger Kings.
Maybe they did.
I think they did.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they had... But it was a very different outlook have Burger Kings. And maybe they did. I think they did. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they had.
But it was a very different outlook towards Burger Kings.
Their burgers weren't even royal at that point.
No.
That's what you're saying.
I don't even think they were the king at that point.
I think it was just burger.
Burger Duke.
The Burger Earl.
The Viscount of Burgers.
What's with this craze for like artisan food now,
right?
Like people have a burger.
People just have more money than they used to.
I don't know if they necessarily have more money.
I just think people eat out a fuckload compared to what they used to.
Like,
I think people eat at home.
A lot of people like,
I know that there was a,
I watched a documentary about eating
habits and one of the best tests for people's eating habits is how long do you spend cleaning
up after dinner and in somewhere like um america they have incredibly low amount of time spent
cleaning up after dinner because it involves putting packaging in the in the rubbish that's it
like that's cleaning up there's not washing up or loading the dishwasher or anything like that it's just getting
all those containers together and binning them so they spend very little time cooking because they
just order like if i know a lot of american people who just order food they never cook yeah they
some they either go out to eat they get food delivered that's it like there's very little
cooking i very rarely cook now so yeah
i mean it's a it's a very modern idea that you don't cook at home that you apparently we have
way less time even though i think i know that in the 50s when the computer was first becoming a
thing they thought that we'd all be working three day weeks because everything's so efficient we
just don't need to go into work as much obviously that's not the way it worked which is a shame but yeah rather than spend more time
relaxing at home cooking dinner with your family people think that we've got to eat fast i've got
to eat now and you know i go go go and everything's accelerated even though we have faster communications
faster computers faster everything we're apparently running out of time
because i think the system and the man has filled that spare time with work and the the need for for
money uh and oh but man having said all that porn has never been better like it's well i don't know
man the thing is all of this stuff though like but back in the day you did not have such a vast
amount of it too like like like this is the thing, you did not have... There was such a vast amount of it, too.
Like, this is the thing.
Like, I read this thing about, like, the passing of boredom, right?
Like, how back when we were kids, we were bored.
Like, there was nothing to do.
And I get that feeling sometimes.
But really, sometimes I'm just spoiled for choice.
Yeah.
I've got, like, I've got a Steam library full of games I've never played.
I've got Netflix full of things I want to watch.
I've got tons of series.
I've got folders and folders of books i've got audio books i've got
fucking books on my shelf i haven't read that i've bought i've just sat there like something
some incredibly crazy statistic like 75 of games on steam people have bought and they're never even
even loaded once you know yeah and then another 25 they've loaded up for five minutes and stopped
again it's like like it's crazy, like the amount.
Well, a lot of this stuff you can pick up for really cheap in sales and stuff, though.
I think that does skew it, definitely.
People think, oh, I might want to play this one day because it's a bargain.
They pick it up and then they never do it.
And it's like, you know, it wasn't like that, you know, back in the day.
I mean, like, i've been doing this
channel with turts where i'm trying to play a new game every day right he's pitching out he's
pimping his other channel on our so how's that going are you uh terrible have you gotten to the
point now have you gotten to like the the fat middle layer where you're just there's a ton of
very samey not very polished um not very well designed games that
you're absolutely not so many new games come out all the fucking time like this week i've got like
forza horizon i've got like fucking call of duty blackout i played the black ops i played blackout
yesterday i tried that i've played like fucking just people are saying to me stuff all the time
there's too much stuff and a lot of it i'm like oh man i'd quite like to spend a few hours in this and i can't
because you know i'm just there's so much else i really want to do and i guess it gives you the
opportunity to pick and choose though right and i i do enjoy my free time and i you know i watched
that vietnam thing but you know it's like it's it's it's different to how it was when we were
kids right it's it's you, even with like porn and everything.
Remember renting movies?
Remember you picked me?
And movies is like a lot of work to go and get a movie out.
I mean, did you watch, actually, by the way, did you watch this fucking executive decision on the TV?
I did. I watched it on TCM.
It sounds like a fucking TV movie.
I was tired, so I went and sat in front of the TV.
I flicked around. Did you join like halfway fucking TV movie I was tired so I went and sat in front of the TV I flicked around
did you join like
halfway in
or did you join
I joined
a half an hour in
and I watched it
yeah I mean
and you feel like
you hadn't missed anything
no it's a shit movie
because that's what
movies used to be like
and TV shows still
are a little bit like that
like I was watching
I just turned on the TV
and like Burn Notice
was on like
this American show
and you can fucking
join that show
like at any point in it and just be be to be dragged along it feels like the kind of tv
show that's designed for motels in america where you go into the motel you turn the tv on you turn
the shower on you unpack and it's just there in the background there's this noise and it's just
such a thinly kind of nothing story that is so predictable and obvious.
But it's just background noise telly.
Like, I don't know.
Sorry.
Like Dinner Date.
Yeah.
I think that's on in my house like all the goddamn time.
It's either that or kids TV.
It's kids TV or if we don't know what to watch, Dinner Date.
Oh, fuck Dinner Date. Yeah, Dinner Date is like three, like 30, like three. tv it's it's kids tv or if we don't know what to watch dinner date oh fuck yeah dinner dates like
three like 30 like three there's like a channel that only has dinner date on it too which is
fantastic you just you know if there's nothing on you just like oh well just watch dinner date
it's it's half an hour or whatever but it might as well be divided into three 10 minute
it might be 10 might as well be 10 minute episodes you know youtube episodes where you can just run this fucking playlist and it's just the same shit every time
except different faces i think that's sometimes i think that's what we do right same shit but
different yeah it's like it's comforting it's like familiar but also you know what you're gonna get
and also like i don't know it's we like it humans we like
to to go through life having the same thing but slightly different it's weird so boys it's uh
apprentice season is back on upon us and i've been watching it last night was uh well as usual just a
fucking train wreck a bunch of uh grown-ass men and women uh who are probably successful in their
own right or whatever but when it comes to doing uh challenges set out by uh alan sugar they just
seem to like that's lord sugar to you completely i i refer to him as alan i we're on like first
name basis now i've watched that show all the goddamn time. Fellow businessman. So yesterday's challenge was they all met up at an old flour mill,
one of the biggest ones in the world.
I've laid on this flour mill for you.
Now what I want from you is I want you to grind the grain and the wheat
and make some bloody bread.
No, no.
I've laid on this bread for you,
and now I want you to toast it and make me a bloody bread. No, no. I've laid on this bread for you and now I want you to toast it and make me a bloody sandwich.
So the baking industry in the UK
is worth 3.6 billion per year.
The baking industry in the UK
is worth 3.8 billions of dollars
or pounds.
I want them.
Lord Sugar wants all of his dudes
to go out and make artisan donuts, okay?
Because there's a lot of room for innovation in that sector, in the donut sector.
The future is round with a hole in the middle.
Get got him, you mugs.
So they set out to design their own donuts.
So they set out to design their own donuts.
And then they had to wake up at 2.30 in the morning to go to a bakery and learn how to make donuts. They had to secure orders.
And then in the end, they had to bake fucking 600 donuts or something to fulfill these orders.
And it was just a shit show, as usual.
It was just a fucking shit show.
Everyone on that show is a fucking idiot.
It's crazy.
They're so stupid.
Oh, God.
They're so egotistical and backstabby.
And they make terrible decisions time and again.
Like, I have no experience of business.
Like, other than working for them and being a customer.
But there's definitely stereotypes around it.
And these people seem to conform to every single one of them.
Like they're just emulating successful people in the worst way, right?
Like they, you know, they talk the talk in a lot of ways.
But do they walk the walk?
They don't walk the walk.
They do not walk the walk.
If thou dost talk the talk, thou must walketh the walk.
Oh, it's crazy.
I'm not, you know what?
It's one of those things like it's the perfect sort of, like, armchair general show, though, isn't it?
Yeah.
Where, you know, you can sit there and go, ah-ha, these people are so stupid.
Yeah, you think you know better.
But if it was you in the situation, you would probably make a lot of fucking mistakes, too, right?
Also, all the good shit you do is probably going to get edited out.
Every smart conversation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The one where you look like a mug.
Yeah, because the format of the show is
definitely like like certainly in the first couple of weeks it's it's a lot like any other show where
there's a lot of chaff that needs to be filtered out so there's a lot of people like making like
huge mistakes and oh but this this season has been awkward there's just some really awkward people
and there's just been moments where i've had to
close my eyes and like clench really hard like it just really hard to watch that's why i stopped
watching these kind of shows oh god but but it it's it's still i still like watching it for some
reason it's like almost like a guilty pleasure or something like it's is that like is that okay do
you reckon they do i mean this is the thing right Like we talk about when we do these sort of live action-y sort of challenges, right?
Yeah.
My attitude is always, let's do our best, right?
Because if we, because if we do that, we'll probably fuck it up anyway, right?
Because we're stupid, right?
We don't go into these live action challenges saying, let's make a fucking mess of this, right?
We go, we go into it like i'm well i am
anyway i'm always like yeah i want to try and do as good as i can here and then if it turns out
shit well that's good that's just inevitable but at least i wasn't true yeah at least they didn't
even fucking give it a go yeah do you think people on this show do you think they are trying their
best or do you think they are just literally i think they are because i think you know if if if
the outcome of the show is an investment into a business that they want to start up that's a pretty big opportunity right has ever fucking gone on to like be successful I don't know I mean they they they have recaps every once in a while where like you know these people are they look like they're on board but who you never can tell. I don't know.
Like some of them probably go on to do like nothing.
I mean, they're given like such a big fucking opportunity.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's a quarter of a million
that they get potentially invested in.
But whether it happens or not,
I have no idea.
Maybe it does.
And a lot of the people on it
are already usually people who own businesses, right?
Yeah, and are fairly fairly fairly successful well they range
some of them aren't though some of them are just like you know accountants communication managers
and stuff like that but they they feel they're entrepreneurial enough or they have a good
business case that they think is gonna but the business cases are always pretty terrible as well
so i don't know like but again But again, I'm not an expert.
So I'm watching this and I feel like if I was on there,
I'd clean up and I probably wouldn't. I would probably get kicked out in the first week or whatever.
But I don't know.
It's just crazy.
Would you go on it?
It's crazy.
You know what?
I don't think I would.
I don't think I'd ever go on Big Brother either.
Oh my God, that would be the worst.
What if you had a moment of madness where you picked your nose and ate it and you forgot that you were on TV?
I would never do such a thing.
What if you were really bored and you're just like, oh fuck, I wonder what this tastes like now that I'm an adult.
I used to eat this stuff all the time when I was a kid, but now that I'm bigger, maybe I just want to have a little taste.
Please stop.
So gross. that i'm bigger oh it's just maybe i just want to have a little taste please stop so gross i honestly i i feel sick when people do that or like see it or talk about it oh please stop i don't
want to be on on a tv show like that because i think i think you just end up looking so you just
end up looking so bad and like maybe you're not that bad in real life at all you
know maybe maybe you are a very competent person but these shows definitely make you look totally
incompetent right like like you said the editing and everything and and and the nature of the
challenges it's a lot of pressure right they don't have a lot of time to do this stuff you know like
people that have never baked a donut before you can can't expect them to make nice donuts or even edible ones in their first five minutes of baking donuts.
You donut!
That's what he wanted.
He wanted to be able to call them a donut.
Right, you donuts.
Talking of donuts, I've laid on this bakery for you and I want you to bake me some bloody artisan donuts, you mugs.
gonna bake me some bloody artisan donuts you mugs uh but only fuck it feels like only in london would they have a big market for artisan donuts and gourmet burgers as well you know this is like
one of the most expensive cities in the world to even visit let alone live in and and it's just
like here let's just add another layer of expense.
Like, you know, if you want to have,
you can have a super nice burger.
It's going to cost you,
but it's going to be fucking really nice.
Like there's an Oreo cookie
attached to the top of the burger
because that's kind of zany and stuff.
And, you know,
we could probably charge you five extra pounds
for that one Oreo cookie
to be on top of your burger.
I don't know.
It seems crazy.
But I guess, you know, if people buy it and it's popular,
they might as well do it.
There's a $100 donut you can get in New York.
I saw it on, I think it was Man vs. Food or something like that.
Oh, right.
Okay.
And it's been dipped in gold.
All right.
Let's do it now.
Okay.
Your other donut task.
What's your fucking,
what's your solution to like some artisan bullshit donut?
Honestly,
I don't fucking know because like a donut is just a donut,
right?
Like they all kind of taste the same.
It doesn't matter what you do to them.
I got one for you.
Chicken donut.
Chicken donut,
mate.
You're going to just shred some like fried up chicken,
chicken shredding nugget, but in a doughnut shape with sugar on it
Yeah delicious call it you could call it a dough nugget
What are the big donut chains now?
Krispy Kremes, and then there's like...
Oh my god, I love Krispy Kreme.
Dunkin' Donuts is still going, I'm assuming.
In Canada, there's Tim Hortons.
Tim Hortons?
Tim Hortons.
But like, you know...
Shout out to all you guys, if you want the dough nugget.
What do these places do that's so special?
All the donuts taste the same.
Hey, hold on a second there, Mr. Man.
Krispy Kreme donuts are the best.
You get like a Honey Cruller or like a Sour Cream Glaze.
Those are pretty nice.
I just like the basic bitch donuts.
Just the old traditional chocolate glaze.
You get chocolate glaze or vanilla.
Oh, I love Krispy Kreme.
Vanilla glaze.
But you know what I mean?
There's nothing like...
You get the ones with filling,
like, you know,
like with the chocolate filling
and sometimes they have like,
you know,
like chocolate icing on top
with like a bit of white icing,
like zigzagged on top or whatever
to make it look nicer.
But like,
where else can you go with donuts?
I feel like that's it.
That's like...
No, no, sir.
Apart from just putting weird shit on top of it,
like a full cookie or like sprinkling flakes of whatever on top or whatever.
Like, I guess that makes it look a bit different.
No, no, no.
Maybe better.
But, I mean, the actual cost of ingredients isn't much higher, is it?
It's just like a couple of sprinkles and a fucking cookie
out of a packet that you paid a pound for. I want you to do me a favor pound for i want you to do me a favor all right i want you to google
artisan donuts and look at this shit all right hang on and you tell me that these don't fit the
bill artisan of artisan donuts there's one here okay here's a couple of ideas let me swing it by
you mate all right listen up all right i've got a couple of ideas first of all let me lie on
this look like honestly these look like normal donuts.
No, they really don't.
Here is a chocolate glaze with hundreds and thousands sprinkled on it.
All right.
I've linked it in Discord.
Look at this.
Look at this website.
You can get a little tub of hundreds and thousands for like 35p.
So that drives up the price of this donut.
I'm going to pay £3.50 for a donut with chocolate glazing on it.
It looks like a five-year-old applied that chocolate.
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
Like, it does look like kids make some of this.
Like, some of it looks impressive.
Here at Artisan Fucking Donuts, all of our donuts are put together by five-year-olds.
That's right.
That's our gimmick.
Do you want a five-year-old to decorate your fucking donut?
Custom.
Every time. How much is a donut worth? Ugold to decorate your fucking donut? Custom, every time.
How much is a donut worth?
Ugly face.
Okay.
Smiley face.
Let me find out.
Giraffe.
Dinosaur.
Anything.
How much does one...
My five-year-old will draw you badly on a donut.
Crispy.
Want sprinkles?
There's too many.
He's put all the packet on.
Cost.
Don't worry.
Packets of sprinkles only cost us 35p.
But this donut five pound
all right listen
so at crispy cream
donuts I can buy
one donut for
one dollar and
twenty nine cents
that's expensive
right okay but
these artisan donuts
on the apprentice
yesterday were
selling for four
pounds each okay
I know so and what's the difference what are they putting
on this that makes it worth that much it's like a captive and it's not a lot of extra effort either
realistically like you've got the donut with the icing on it and that's like your your normal
one dollar and 29 cent donut and then you put like a chocolate covered pretzel on it
bearing in mind you haven't made this chocolate covered pretzel, okay?
This is one of those chocolate covered pretzels that you just get from like...
You didn't even make this pretzel!
This isn't artisan!
What kind of artisan are you?
So just putting a chocolate covered pretzel on top of the donut drives up the price by like 300%.
That's crazy.
Do you want to know why this is?
I think artisan donuts are a scam dude it's not
a scam i'll tell you what it is all right there's a really good book by tim harford called the
undercover economist i recommend it and he talks about why when you go into fucking starbucks
the menu is coffee yeah and then super coffee and everything in between so there are there
are multiple different kinds of customer.
One of them is price sensitive.
One of them is price insensitive.
Those are the two extremes, right?
Price insensitive customer doesn't give a shit how much she pays
or she pays for the coffee.
They're going to spunk money on this fucking coffee.
They just want the best thing on the menu.
No, they don't even care.
They'll just go, give me this, this, this, and put this on it
and sprinkle these and five of those.
The price sensitive customer... They're just like, oh like oh well i'm spending money on a coffee right but they're price insensitive they really don't care
if it costs five quid for a cup of coffee they're gonna pay the five quid then you get me cheap
flax walks in give me the cheapest shittiest smallest coffee you do so i can fulfill the
requirement to drink a coffee
without spending more money on it than i need to that's the price sensitive customer so if you have
a menu that just says how much do you want to spend on coffee that's what they desperately
want to know is how much would you spend so what you really want as a shop owner is for the customer
to come in and slap money down and go i will spend all of this 10 pounds on coffee how much is your coffee and you can say 10 pounds and they'll say perfect and give you the tenner
that's what the shop's ideal scenario of course what actually happens is you walk in and go how
much is your coffee so rather than say uh and try to gauge how much you can gouge this person for
you just say well look at our menu we have everything from a 60p cup of shit coffee we have shit like dog shit coffee for two pounds or fancy ecuadorian thing ground on the thighs of
virgin children for 9.99 i'm a non-virgin child what's wrong with you i could name a few
unfortunately god damn so yeah that that's it that that's why they have this shit these artisan donuts you're out your
price sensitive goomba like me isn't gonna fucking spend five pounds on a donut but some
price is sensitive right now goomba will that's the yeah there you go so that's what it boils
down to some people just don't care about how much money they're spending on a donut yeah and
other people do care about how much money they're spending and they, and they go to Krispy Kreme and spend a buck
and the guys that spend £5 go to...
And I guess it makes sense because, like I was saying,
it's not a lot of extra overhead to pass into the artisan area of donatory, right?
Because all you're doing is putting on some extra sprinkles or whatever
that probably cost you nothing.
Exactly.
But then you can inflate the price and exploit all these... you know some extra sprinkles or whatever that probably cost you nothing exactly uh but then
you can then you can inflate the price and right because starbucks wants to charge you 30 or 40p
for a bit of whipped cream even though that whipped cream costs them less than a penny to put on
so they make a lot more money from those people that say i'd like the mocha choco pluka plaka
latte please with pumpkin spice and i want the cream and i want the chocolate sprinkles and i
want the powder and i want this and sprinkles and I want the powder and
I want this and I want that and it's all costing pennies but they're charging pounds that's that's
the big margin is the uh it's it's changed though it used to be that street food was this shitty
cheap sausagey wank that you would just not want okay you'd avoid it right it would be crap but now
it's all artisan it is look at the bristol food marketplace it's weird all the shops
all the shops are corporations mass producing garbage and the food trucks are artisan places
which one grandma right you know makes all my despite sandwiches contained food that i grew
in my greenhouse i've only got one tomato left and it cost you nine pounds i mean one of those
street food places does tartiflette.
It's like street tartiflette.
Really?
Like, I was surprised.
I know, you can get fucking crazy stuff.
Yeah, it's amazing.
It's really good.
But yeah, you're right.
But then you've got these middle class people that have money
and they kind of want to go to Burger King sometimes
and McDonald's occasionally and Domino's and stuff from time to time.
But if you're going into your office you don't want to
walk in with a fucking McDonald's bag you feel like
such a scrub you want to go to the fancy food market
and say I got some
Mongolian lentils today
sprinkled with donuts
oh my god
it only cost me 8 pounds
there is no hope for humanity is there
no there's a lot of hope for us
we're fantastic.
They're not.
Mongolian lentils sealed the deal.
We're done.
We're over.
Okay, great.
Here's my idea for donuts, right?
How about this?
A donut that is called the Kroggy.
Oh, I'm just putting up the Kroggy.
A bike wheel.
It's shaped like a handlebar.
You've got to jam your foot in this machine
and then I'll shove an avocado
up your arse.
Delicious.
Top.
So what does Alan Sugar think of that?
Adam Sugar.
My brother Alan's a big deal. They call him a lord.
But down here at Adam Sugar Industries
we make donuts.
Nice and simple
square donuts oh no square donuts what have i done i'm ruined
so hang on the apprentice in the u.s was was just trump right there wasn't another
um there wasn't another look how successful he went on to be still slaving away at the fucking i don't know man he does okay like
he's all right he's done well for himself hadn't he that that that trump that's all he's really
done well after that tv show he wasn't rich before an episode of goggle box he fucking he fucking was
rich as fuck before he went on the apprentice you tune YouTube. Well, allegedly. Yeah, he's not as rich as he says.
He inherited a lot, but yeah, he inflated.
No, just a small loan.
Just a small loan to get him started off.
Just a small loan of $10 billion.
Anyway, let's end the podcast.
Thanks, everyone, for fucking, for watching this garbage.
Listening to this garbage, I guess.
Listening to this garbage i guess listening to this garbage yeah i mean there's there's there's there's probably like uh far um technically better podcasts out there but you know what this one
fucking owns right like it's the best like where else can you find three miserable people arguing
about the price of donuts answer that one guys thanks it's it's it, everyone. We're going.
Bye.
See you later.
Bye.