Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #16: Lewis Under Fire
Episode Date: July 12, 2023Triforce Mailbag Special 16! Someone encounters the Big Boss Bear in Banff, Triforce gets forever embedded into Trinity College in Cambridge, Lewis get some spicy complaint mail and we have some advic...e on how to deal with toxic relationships! Go to http://joinhoney.com/triforce to get PayPal Honey for free. Go to http://expressvpn.com/triforce today and get an extra 3 months free on a 1-year package! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon:Â https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
Pickaxe No song this time? No song. I don't want to sing. I'm in a hotel and my neighbors might hear me and think something weird is going on.
Right.
One of my friends said that he heard a man clearly masturbating and farting last night.
And I thought, well, it could have been me, but it actually wasn't.
They were five floors below me.
Why haven't I ever thought of doing that?
The guy was just doing it all.
You're just getting so horny that you just got to let it all out, you know?
That's it.
You got to jack off and you got to do some farting and stuff too.
I'm going to be really self-conscious when I'm doing that now that other people can hear me.
I thought I had privacy.
I did see you singing at CP Flex on stage.
When?
At the Doja event.
Oh, we sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, that's right.
A little jazz band you got going out with all the talented random people. Why were you sang Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. That's a little jazz band you got going out
with all the talented random people.
Why were you singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?
So the drummer,
we have an in-house band at the event here
at Dream League. It's just three lads.
They're really, really good. There's a guitarist,
a bassist, and a drummer, but they can play a bunch of other
instruments. They can play keyboards and everything else,
like trumpet. They're proper
musicians.
The drummer was sick, and the other two lads had finished their shift so it was just us with
the equipment and we were like uh my friend sheep had been practicing playing the drums the band
were helping her uh neil can play the keyboard a bit so we just went up and winter played the
triangle because he's not musical and we just sort of uh decided to sing twinkle twinkle little star
is the only song that neil could play on the keyboard so that was right that's a good that's a
good intro song right yeah of course the notes are really easy and uh delivered it three blind
mice is also another one three blind mice could have been a doer get them on three blind mice or
mary had a little lamb very easy as well those are really good ones too for sure yeah it was very
funny it looks like you're having fun anyway it's been a fun time yeah on the topic of a man uh
masturbating and farting um let me give you some context as to why this made me think of this okay
i imagine that if you're farting and masturbating you have your legs akimbo while you're jacking
off i'm assuming that yeah i'm assuming that as well and it reminded me of this show i watched That if you're farting and masturbating, you have your legs akimbo while you're jacking off, right?
I'm assuming that, yeah.
I'm assuming that as well.
And it reminded me of this show I watched.
It was a documentary I watched about prison one time.
I know, Flax, you know a lot about prisons.
Oh, yeah.
You've had a lot of tales about prisons.
But have you ever heard of the term spooning out?
No.
Okay, let me...
It sounds disgusting.
Let me enthrall you.
Yes, I thought it might have been something
different and when the guy was describing it i sort of um winced a little bit because i thought
oh here we go this is gonna be pretty bad do we have to the way he described it was um a man in
the cell uh laying ass naked on a bed uh in a room with like many other men and his legs sticking out in the air and at this
point i was like fuck me i do not want to hear the rest of this okay one of them had a plastic spoon
and the reason for this was they were spooning out this man's anus for the drugs that he'd smuggled
in to the prison yeah they couldn't they were lodged up there so high, or so far, they couldn't get him out.
So, this guy, they were holding his legs back, putting him into, like, the- basically the
birthing position, and using a plastic spoon to try to just dig the drugs out of his ass.
Oh my god.
Trying to rescue there.
Yeah.
I guess, otherwise, he'd have to go to to the hospital because he can't pass them naturally,
is that what they're saying?
I mean, it's essentially life-saving surgery at this point.
Because they're gonna rupture.
It's gonna rupture at some point and he's gonna have a butt full of cocaine or heroin
or whatever it is.
Yeah.
So it's kind of like emergency surgery.
It's like a- they're all wearing like surgical masks, there's like a machine.
No, they don't have a machine, just one of the inmates just says beep occasionally.
The prisoners, I think, get very good at the sort of DIY thing, right?
Like we see them cooking up gourmet grade meals with their little kettle and stuff like
that.
And I guess this is no different, you know, just a bit of a life-saving intervention surgery.
Yeah. You know, you've got your little society and you've got your rules.
That's it. Yeah. So, yeah, no, it just made me think of that and I thought I would share.
Get the Spoonman.
Yeah.
Spooning out.
Bring the spoon. All right. Here's an email. This is from Matt, who is a pilot.
Right.
And he's talking, we were talking about helicopters. I think one opinion you three
share with almost everyone I talk to is the feeling helicopters are more dangerous than
aeroplanes.
Yes.
Yeah.
As a rotor wing and fixed wing pilot, I have always felt safer in a helicopter. Due
to a helicopter's ability to land almost anywhere with an open vaguely flat surface, you can
plonk one down in a field at the slightest sign of an impending emergency, an ability I have taken advantage of on numerous
occasions.
It usually doesn't take long to get a helicopter on the ground because I rarely fly above a
thousand feet.
On one proportionary landing, the man whose yard I landed in brought my crew some ice
cream and let us play with his family's litter of golden retriever puppies as they were dog
breeders.
I understand most people won't perceive helicopters the way i do because of the dreaded auto rotation
but after 10 years flying both types of aircraft i feel a heck of a lot safer in a helicopter
interesting oh well yeah that is interesting thank you for being so level-headed about it as well
yeah that was a good email yeah because oftentimes it's like you don't know what the fuck you're
talking about idiot um and here's all my
here's my cv of all the flying time i have and stuff and you think yeah no this is great info
but like just delivered poorly you know but that was actually delivered really well thank you
helicopters were like the motorbikes of the sky do you know i mean like like if a plane is a car
or like a big jumbo jet is a van yeah or
a bus even i guess like do you ever say like i feel like the helicopters have got a reputation as
yeah crashing more well yeah they're a lot smaller they are a lot smaller i gotta say though and um
and and uh thank you for the uh the email pilot man and also i don't know if you would agree with
this but i've flown in a very small
propeller plane like a six-seater uh because that's what uh you fly on to get from jersey
to guernsey which is not it's not very far it's like a six minute flight or something like that
but they use these really really small propeller planes they don't go up that high you're sitting
right behind the pilot so you can see over his shoulder
and you can see everything he sees and stuff it's it's a really cool experience actually
but i did not uh feel unsafe at all like i just it felt better than uh flying on a big commercial
airliner in some ways i felt a lot more safe like i don't know maybe because i could see like
what he was doing or i could see out the front or something.
You know what I mean?
I didn't feel like as not in control somehow.
I mean, I suppose it would be like being in a car where the driving viewport, if you like,
whatever you call it, the windshield, was completely blocked off from your view and you couldn't see the driver.
Yeah.
And you couldn't even really see where you were going.
Like if you were traveling at 600 miles an hour yeah exactly are you still interested in learning to fly sips because that
was a that was a on your bucket list for a while no i'm not interested in fully learning um but i
would be interested in doing like you know um like a one-off you know like how they you know you can
get it for somebody's birthday i'm not hinting by the way you know like you can get like an hour fly time for somebody's birthday and they go up with somebody and they they don't teach you
how to fly they just sort of show you the interesting bits and let you take over for a
split second while you're cruising that would that would be sufficient yeah that would be fine for me
i like i don't need to know how to learn how to land i'd be stressed to the gills like trying to
land or take off and stuff like that would be too much for me but the rest of it you know just want to see the
interesting bits just want to cruise you know would you be interested go down look at the titanic
no personally i would not be no and uh there's been some more there's been some more news there's
been some more news on this since the last time we talked about it. Yeah, they did. Yeah, sorry, we're recording it in Veldt.
They are gone, unfortunately.
All right, here's one from Paul.
Now, this is interesting.
I have a follow-up to this because this is something some friends of mine used to do,
something similar.
On the last Mailbag episode, Sips said that BB guns don't really have the force to break
the skin.
I have a slight quibble with that, the only reason being that I currently have a BB in
my leg and have since I was aboutble with that, the only reason being that I currently have a BB in my leg,
and have since I was about eight. Growing up in Texas, I know you might think that we spent most
days furthering our intellect and learning about other cultures, being as open-minded as we are.
He's being sarcastic, I think. Surprisingly, however, my brothers and I somehow had access
to a BB rifle. We came up with a fun game called Pump Once and Run. The rules shockingly drew
their inspiration from the title of the game. One person would run back and forth across
the backyard and the other person would pump the air rifle once and fire. If you hit someone,
you won. Not sure what we were trying for, but we were bored. I got hit in the calf and
started crying. My mother had a nurse friend over who swore up and down that the BB didn't
break the skin. I confirmed in my adult years by x-ray that the BB was still there, but they didn't want to cut it out due to the risk of infection.
Paul, some friends of mine used to play a game called
Dart Head, where one of them would have darts,
you know, the kind of darts you play darts with, and the other would pop his head up and down from behind
the sofa, and his brother would throw darts at his head.
Jesus. And he would have to duck out of
the way at the last second that was dart head dart head is not the kind of game i want to be playing
on this i don't want to get shot out with a gun either this is dredged out something from my
distant deep memory right now when i when i was in the scouts okay and i'm i've been more than about
eight or nine yeah maybe ten um we used to go down in our village and join the Scouts
and do things like a jumble sale.
And I remember one time there was a jumble sale
and often what would happen would be lots of shit would get donated
that should have really gone in the bin to begin with.
And then afterwards, we'd have to take it all back to the bin.
We'd have to take it all to the dump because it was all crap.
And one of the things that was left
was an enormous amount of porcelain,
but it was Nazi stuff.
Right.
Oh my God.
It was like a Hitler,
a little porcelain Hitler,
and some little porcelain Germans.
You know, it was like World War II stuff.
What youth brigade were you part of?
I don't know who gave it or how we ended up with it, but I remember the scout leader at the time saying,
let's take this around the back of the scout hut and shoot it with BB guns. So we used it for like
target practice around the back of the hut and everyone shot this porcelain to smithereens with
BB guns. For some reason that has been dredged out
of my mind now of course this must have been in about 1990 do you know i mean this is a long time
ago yeah um and so i guess there was still there were old folks you know pipes dying and leaving
this collection of stuff they had yeah they're all nazi memorabilia i don't know how insensitive
like that stuff was back then oh it was it was still bad whether it was like yeah i figure i feel like it would have had to have been
pretty bad even back then right i mean that was our reaction our reaction to it was to shoot like
not sell it and to shoot it so yes yeah but yeah um oh carry on what's the next one uh okay um this
one is uh a rant from chris okay which i'm gonna read it because it's
interesting it ends with a question that you might be able to answer uh i'm writing to ask if you
have any stories about parking tickets right and they're uninformed dispensers he means um
like traffic uh wardens yes attached is a photo of the sign i was meant to spot one bay down and
two bays across the road.
There are three ticketed signs.
However, the one hidden sign is stating it was a permit bay.
I'm going to show you lads this picture because this is ridiculous.
Right.
Is this in the UK?
Yes, this is very much in the UK.
It's such a, such a, it's such like a death trap.
Right.
There's no sign in that picture.
Exactly.
Right.
So if you look at that picture, it's hidden behind a bush.
It's a wall and a bush.
Right, right.
So look at the pole at the bottom of the bush.
The sign is clearly behind there.
That's what Paul was meant to, Chris was meant to spot.
Right.
Was this sign.
I'm usually on the side to protect people just doing their job from abuse.
This is where the email gets really angry.
However, what cunt decided this was fair
and have his huge cunt of a friend, Alan, reject the appeal? I don't know why this is so specific.
This seems to be going above and beyond to give me a ticket.
His huge cunt of a friend.
His huge cunt of a friend, Alan.
They travel in packs.
Well, Alan, you've done Chris wrong here. I think it's very unreasonable.
He's pissed.
No, honestly, though, Chris, I'm with you.
I fucking hate getting parking tickets, even if I'm in the wrong.
It just, I hate it.
It's so annoying.
Like, I've only gotten like two and it was definitely my fault every time.
It's like getting told off by a teacher combined with local jobsworths do you mean
you know some local allen on the council rejecting it do you mean after you've clearly put in a legit
appeal and it's like why are these people so awful unreasonable it's like small village
yeah assholes and yeah people like being it's the classic thing of like the traffic warden
hovering around waiting for the you you know so when you're like one minute over, they're like slapping the ticket on.
I hate that.
I hate how like you're not really meant to park on the side of the road, especially when it's like really obstructive, like buses can't get by and stuff like that.
And you will see cars parked up like that all day long for days and days and days and these guys are just wandering
around parking lots giving tickets you think get out there and get those cars off the side of the
road the ones that like blocking the whole road like people can't even drive past or it's a two-way
road and you have to wait for like all the buses to come by and stuff because somebody's just parked
on the side of the road but they never seem to do anything about those.
I know it's always a perspective thing, but you always feel like they're not on,
it's not going your way.
Yeah.
I mean, when's the dice going to go my way?
Exactly.
Like, I'm rolling the dice.
I'm rolling.
I'm rolling.
I'm blowing on the dice.
Like, it never, it's always at the end of the longest line, you know?
I do have one positive parking parking ticket story which is that i
was given a parking ticket this is for parking in my road uh and they said i was parked on the
pavement and i submitted photographic evidence that the part of the road that i'd parked on was
not pavement um and i gave my case i stated it eloquently if i may say so and they said
yeah fair enough we decided to rescind the ticket. Yeah. I was like, great.
So it does work when you have a legitimate.
That is a great story and everything,
but you should not have had to go to that much effort.
Well,
you know what I mean?
Here's the thing.
Imagine.
What about people who are as charismatic as you?
No,
no,
no.
This was an email.
This was just an email.
What if my 95 year old grandmother did that?
She wouldn't be able to.
She shouldn't be driving a car.
That's my opinion.
Oh my God. I honestly think. Sorry, to. She shouldn't be driving a car. That's my opinion. Oh, my God.
I honestly think I've been in a car.
Sorry, grandmama.
He doesn't mean what he says.
He does mean it.
She listens to the podcast every week.
You're going to get an email from her now.
I'm happy to.
I'd love to get an email from your granny.
You ageist.
Happy.
Happy to be an ageist.
All right.
This is an interesting one.
This is from Rian. Rian? Rian. Rian. It's an Irish one. This is from Rian.
Rian.
Rian. It's an Irish name.
Oh, Rian.
I'm a 21-year-old college student from Ireland. Love the podcast. Blah, blah, blah.
Yes. Yes. Thank you, Rian.
So, I've been meaning to write in for some time now, but forgot which episode I was writing in reference to. Classic listener, honestly. Sounds right up our street.
Yeah.
Recently, I've rediscovered it. It's episode 99.7 oh yes episode drug use featured a tad and you mentioned how you wanted
to do lsd but mrs flax forbade it thank god you listened to her a couple of summers ago me and a
group of lads rented a house out in the middle of nowhere for a week with the ultimate goal of
drinking ourselves to death and somehow lsd got involved and I and a friend tripped for a total of 13 hours
each. We started at 2pm, it hit me around 3, I was laying down flat on a bench staring at the sky
and it started with the clouds morphing into rolling dice. It was surreal. What I saw changed
from my friends in cartoon form, to children hanging from a noose, to David Bowie in
the shower, Che Guevara on a wall. I found that looking at people who knew me better than others
there revealed far more disturbing images than those who did not. Some other fun fact, I only
moved four times in total in that 13 hours. I ate nothing and only drank a single cup of water all
day. I had extremely short-term memories, like asking a friend a question, forgetting what it was that they said every time. And my entire
world was being shattered after a friend opened a door I was standing next to. Basically lost
all sense of time and space. I was completely out of it. I would genuinely place it...
This is a weird one, because he said, don't do it. I would genuinely place it in the top
five days of my life.
Wow.
But here is why I too recommend you never do this drug. It messed with my heart to such don't do it. I would genuinely place it in the top five days of my life. Wow.
But here is why I too recommend you never do this drug. It messed with my heart to such an extreme degree that I genuinely thought I would die at least three separate times. It beat faster
than I ever thought it could. And I know it was not in my head as my other friends confirmed it
by checking my heart. The only way I was able to get it down was attempting to believe it was all
in my head and it would go down within 10 minutes if I were to guess.
Jesus, well, it just shows, eh?
Do you know what?
I mean, I grew up around a lot of people who like doing drugs and drinking and all that kind of stuff when we were younger.
And at the time, you think, yeah, whatever, you know, this is happening and these people seem to know what they're doing or whatever and there was always like a couple of scare stories you know people
had to go to the hospital or or whatever they got carried away and stuff and that's all fine but
i now that i have kids this petrifies me to think that they might be doing this stuff you know what
i mean because of all the things like now now that i'm older i realize everything that could
have possibly gone wrong and how it's a miracle that
most of the people i know from being a kid are even still alive you know what i mean yeah where's
the scale where's the scale on this like i can go to the pub and have one drink right and be a
little bit tipsy i've been to the pub with you and one drink is your hard limit no but every time
there must be like a little like a minor dose right, you don't have to go to like the fucking,
like literally the spacing out of your entire body and like fucking floating above the earth.
I think that's called micro dosing.
Microdosing.
That's micro dosing,
which is where you just take a little bit.
All right.
This one,
uh,
this one is from a fellow Canuck,
Adam.
Hello,
Adam.
he says,
uh,
he,
last year he moved to Calgary,
Alberta.
Sips called this the Texas of Canada.
Yeah.
And it sort of is,
but it is truly beautiful
and the people are very friendly.
Oh, yeah.
No, don't get me wrong.
It is a beautiful part of the country,
for sure.
Yeah.
My girlfriend and I are very outdoorsy
and hike often.
I have done portage.
She has yet to.
Well done.
We're halfway.
Yeah, good.
Last weekend,
we were hiking outside
the mountain town of Banff.
Yes.
In the woods.
Oh, my God.
Have you guys ever been to Banff or heard of Banff?
No.
Oh man, do a fucking Google image search on Banff
and prepare to have your mind blown.
It's beautiful.
It's probably the most beautiful place I've ever been to
on this whole God forsaken earth.
It's incredible.
I'm just going to look at it.
That's B-A-N-F-F.
Yeah, B-A-N-F-F.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Look at this place.
It's fucking wild, man.
You can just go as well.
It takes a couple of hours to drive from Calgary, but it's incredible.
You drive by the old Winter Olympics village.
They got all the old ski slopes and everything.
And then you sort of wind your way into the mountain.
And it's just like being in Grizzly Hills in fucking World of Warcraft or something.
Like, it's fucking insane.
Well, it's funny you should mention thatcraft or something. Like it's fucking insane.
Well, it's funny you should mention that, young Christopher.
Oh, that's nice.
Here we go.
We were hiking outside the mountain town of Banff.
We were remarking on how a boulder ahead of us sort of looked like a bear.
Right.
And then it raised its big boulder head to look right at us.
It was a huge grizzly.
I would guess five foot tall to the shoulders.
Have a look at this bad boy.
This was the bear in question.
I've just posted a picture of it.
They've taken a picture of it.
That's a big old bear.
That is a known bear in that area.
They just backed away from this thing.
This particular bear is called the Boss.
He weighs 700 pounds, about 320 kilos.
That's a big bear.
He has been seen to eat other bears,
and he once got hit by a freight train and just walked it off.
Yes.
So look at the size of that bear.
Have you guys ever had particularly scary wildlife encounters
is the question that Adam ends with.
I am more frightened of that bear on that trail
than fucking helicopters or, you know, submarines
or, you know, bicycling on the road like do you mean any
driving a car motorbike anything that bear terrifies me yeah yeah well i i have a well
a well documented i've i've i'm sure i've told this story even on this podcast but i will
do a tldr very briefly i had a bear encounter uh i was camping with my parents and my brother when I was young.
My parents went for like a little walk and left me and my brother.
Well, actually, no, they took my brother with them.
I was left alone.
I was a little bit older.
I was probably like 12 or something.
I had my Game Boy.
I was in the tent playing my Game Boy while they were gone.
And I heard like some rustling, not like immediately outside but like further down
so i looked down the road and there's this huge fucking bear sniffing around at like the garbage
cans and everything so i went back in the tent hid underneath my sleeping bag and played dead
because i was told that that was what you did um i i wasn't actually strictly told that it's just
something i picked up on
from like watching TV or something like that
is that the right advice?
I don't even know
my parents came back and they were like
where are you?
they knew I was there but they were like
you know they thought I was just like playing a joke
or whatever and I was like
get in the car quick there's a bear out there
and they were like oh shit so we all got into the car and we were like my get in the car quick, there's a bear out there, and they were like, oh shit, so we all got into the car, and we were like, my parents were like, there's no, there was no bear,
whatever, right, like, and I was like, no, no, there's for sure a bear down the road,
I've been hiding, like, I don't know if he's around here or not, and then sure enough,
he was like 10 feet away from the car, he'd made his way up to our camp or whatever,
so he had to wait it out wait until he
was like far enough away and then my dad went to uh speak to the people who run the camp or whatever
and apparently he was like tagged known and everything but they still had to like tranquilize
him and airlift him out into the wild or whatever but yeah it could have been uh could have been a
pretty nasty one he was huge huge. He was huge.
They are scary, man. They are pretty scary.
So there you go.
There you go.
Thank you for the email.
No problem.
This is from Anon.
This is from Anon.
Oh, Anon.
All right.
Not anal.
And I like the start to this email.
I'll cut straight to the point.
I've been working at Trinity College Cambridge for a couple of years now, and for a ton of
reasons, I am leaving.
As part of my departure, I wanted to do something for you lads. I've written,
I have a tiny penis and have crudely drawn the triforce symbol on a piece of paper.
I have folded it and attached it to a section of the college where it will go unnoticed and
untouched for quite some time. I hope you get a chuckle knowing that this exists.
Also, with your consent and given that I receive a reply before I leave, 22nd of June,
we've just missed the cutoff.
I think it could be a laugh to put more information on the paper,
such as this email address and a plea for information on the state of the note.
If you want to know anything else about the college, feel free to ask.
And I will now post the pictures for you lads to see.
These are the pictures that I've been given.
This is the note in question, which, as you can can see is a scrappy piece of paper that says
I have a tiny penis.
I have a tiny penis with three triangles, yes.
With the triangles.
And then this is, I presume where it's tucked, which is, I don't know what that is.
It's like a little shelfy thing or something.
Yeah.
Held down by what looks like a, I don't know what that is, a piece of plastic.
Like a magnet.
A magnet, something.
Something, yeah.
If you work at Trinity College, Cambridge, and you come across this note,
go ahead and add the email address to it with an addendum saying,
please tell us about yourself if you find this note.
It's like a little Triforce geocache.
It is.
Only it's hidden.
Yeah.
And it's kind of weird.
Because I think you might find it and not get the reference.
Yeah, you might. And be not get the reference you know yeah you
might and be very confused just think why have they drawn three triangles and told us they have
a tiny penis how strange so it needs more information but yes i'm down for this to
become a little geocache we could set these up all over the country and why not yeah why not
people do like this is a common thing in towns and cities where they have um you know zebra crossings they always have
like some rave stickers stuck on the fucking crossing posts hidden i like that i don't want
any graffiti no yeah i like the i like the hidden aspect of it as well yeah it's like going to comic
walking through the crowd and not recognizing 99 of what the t-shirts reference but then the one
you do see you're like oh yes yeah i
appreciate i appreciate i appreciate that we appreciate you all right this is uh this is from
chris this is i don't think i've ever had an email with a subject uh heading quite like this but uh
it's a it's an interesting story at least i can cut to the chase a little bit uh the the subject
line is accidental sex offender wow that. That's the title of the email.
That is a title.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So don't worry.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
Basically, he went out for a night in Bristol for a stag do, and they had a good night.
They were down at the Brew Dog Pub down by the canal, if you know that.
I know.
I know it well.
Oh, do you now?
He knows it well.
After a few drinks, he's going to go down to the toilet.
I hadn't realized one of my friends followed me,
and whilst walking down the stairs shouted at me in his best Johnny Vegas impression,
I'm going to fuck that tight little ass when we get in that toilet.
Jesus.
I thought this was quite funny until I heard a blood-curdling scream
and realized there was a young lady who was barely
five foot tall at the foot of the stairs staring up at me with eyes as wide as saucepans after a
few seconds of confusion i then realized that due to the angle of the stairs all this poor young
lady could see was me a six foot tall 15 stone lad who's followed her down the stairs to then
loudly proclaim that he was going to make love to her back passage whether she liked it or not behind me naturally realizing this i did the only logical thing i panicked and stood still blocking
her way up the stairs and stared at her dumbly it wasn't until she pushed past me and ran up the
stairs and my friend that i snapped to attention and thought maybe i should explain things to her
but of course by that point it was too late um so then they just fucking legged it which is a
sensible thing to do uh my question to you guys is what would you have done in this
situation oh man i would have been i would have probably made it a lot worse but i would have
definitely been talking i would have been like oh my god i'm so sorry you know that wasn't meant for
you you you wouldn't believe this i would have gone into the hole you have first first i drank
a whole bunch of milk before I left the house.
Cause I knew I'd be drinking,
you know,
like I would just be verbal diarrhea,
all battle stations manned.
Like I would just be trying to backpedal out of that one.
Uh,
so like not,
not with any eloquence whatsoever,
but I would be trying my hardest.
Like there's no way I would just not say anything and then run away.
I would feel compelled to speak as well.
try and try i think it's different because i'm not a six foot tall 15 stone guy i'm a five foot tall seven stone guy do you mean i'm like i'm half this guy's size so
it means that i probably she probably wouldn't have believed the voice had come from me you know
maybe and so she would have i would have just probably like well then
again maybe the stairs gives it like an even bigger advantage i think i would have tried to
back out i would be like whoa that wasn't me that's this guy oh my god i'll protect you
jesus christ oh dear yeah i don't know i don't know why i would that is very unfortunate but
it just shows you gotta be careful what you're saying,
you know, especially when you're out in public or whatever.
Like it's, you know, kind of laugh or whatever, but you never know who's around listening
and, you know, they might be taking it the wrong way as well.
Yeah.
So, Daph and Ravs and some others went to Berlin last weekend.
It's not really my story to tell, but Daph was in a bathroom in Germany.
Right.
And he was chatting to,
just chatting to a stranger that he'd only just met in the pub,
in this bathroom.
Uh-huh.
And there was basically,
one of them got the wrong,
the stranger got the wrong idea.
Right.
And I'll let Daph tell the story on his own terms,
but you have to ask him, P-Flex.
It's very funny.
Okay.
Very funny.
So basically just like don't give people the wrong impression
when you're in the bathroom.
I can imagine what the wrong impression was.
Yes, I can imagine.
Yeah.
Poor Daph.
I'll get him to talk about that.
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free expressvpn.com slash trifles thank you very much all right this one is uh this is this is from
ash uh and the uh the title is rocket in your pocket ad no wisconsin stuff here which is a
common subject heading people are saying no this is not about Wisconsin. Don't worry. Thank you.
I still read the email.
I appreciate you.
That's all right.
I download my podcast so I can listen to them offline
and therefore usually skip the ads.
Oh, thanks for supporting the podcast, Ash.
Appreciate that.
However, today I was running late, so I let them roll.
I can say with some certainty that my phone is not listening to me
and giving me ads based on what I'm talking about,
as the first ad I got was for erectile dysfunction pills. I'm a woman. That included
the delightful phrase, it's time to put a rocket in your pocket. Nice. The second was a nappy ad.
I don't have kids and I'm not planning on having any, including a wonderful description of how
they'll help you to avoid a poonami, which is a tsunami of poo. Yes, I've heard of this. Keep up
the good work. That's interesting. I did think it was listening, but obviously in that case, it has no idea what you want, Ash.
It's not listening to you.
It's listening to the podcast because these are all very common topics on the podcast.
That's a very good point.
It might have been listening to us.
Yeah.
Not you.
Yeah.
As three old men, these two ads are very relevant to us.
Yes.
Erectile dysfunction.
And poo. And it's kind of weird know erectile dysfunction and poo and it's kind
of weird that erectile dysfunction and then kids you know what i mean like the two would would
almost seem to cancel maybe it's nappies for old folks though oh could be yeah yeah so maybe they're
hoping that what gives you a boner is nappies oh that's well there are there are communities out
there for sure of uh of people wearing diapers and getting boners in them.
So, you know, could be.
God.
Could be.
You'd think that you'd have to take the advertising more specifically.
No, what I'm saying is if you're advertising to someone you haven't any information on at all,
you'd think that you'd sell, like, the ads that would be served would be very generic stuff.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes.
Like, very broad stuff.
All right, this is an email from Brett,
which is not a name you hear very often,
and Brett is from Wolverhampton,
so read this out with your best black country accent.
That would be great.
Right.
Oh, hi, Chirps.
I was listening to an old episode of the podcast
where Sips got into playing Fortnite
because they added in the Wu-Tang Clan,
and it reminded me of an old game called Wu-Tang Chase the Pwn.
It was released on PS1, and basically you went around levels
killing some goons while playing as someone from Wu-Tang.
Each member had their own signature weapon,
like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,
and had a fatality like Mortal Kombat.
Really?
My favourite was the Jizzer, who had some knife
on the end of a chain and would pull people's heads off.
I'm sure Method Man had a big hammer. The more I i write this email the more it sounds like a fever dream so i
had to google it to make sure it existed love the podcast all the best i get that uh sometimes as
well i'll remember something from being from you know when i was a kid or whatever game i used to
play and it seems so absurd that i actually have to look it up to make sure that i wasn't just
dreaming it or whatever but yeah no it oftentimes is oftentimes is the case that games are just a bit mental and they are
exactly how you remember them, mostly mental. I think often about old games, but you can just
Google them these days. So, it's very hard to have a, is that a real thing or did I imagine it?
The only problem is there are movies that I've definitely watched. And when I try to look them up, I cannot Google enough detail about it to actually find it.
And it kind of leads down a weird rabbit hole where I'm just stuck. And I'm convinced now
that I've added details on that weren't there, which is-
I do that with a movie called The Peanut Butter Solution, because I think
the movie gave me nightmares when I was a kid. And I don't remember the movie that much,
but I remember vaguely the
nightmares I had about the movie and I get the two mixed up all the time it's a very confusing
mess for me even thinking about that movie okay this one is from Josh um from Down Under I believe
sorry to compare camping in the UK with camping in Australia but I have a funny story you might
like this is this is titled camping in the Heat and Complaint about Lewis.
It's a double header.
It's not a big complaint.
Don't worry.
In high school, my school took its year nine students on a two-day camping trip.
The aim was to teach us leadership, et cetera, et cetera.
We had to pack our bags ourselves in team of three and distribute weight
so that we could take all the stuff we needed without everyone having heavy bags.
My group was me and two close mates.
One of us was responsible for the water, one had the tent and cooktop, and the other one
had to carry the food.
We did not take this seriously and did not coordinate at all.
I can well believe it.
Yeah.
I arrived on the day, which started with a five-hour hike through the Aussie bush on
a 35-degree day wearing track pants and a long-sleeved shirt.
Oh my god.
About an hour in i realized
it was too hot and went to change into my shorts but i'd neglected to bring any or any other pants
at all all i had was my t-shirt and my pair of tracksuit pants i decided to cut the legs off
my pants with my pocket knife but ended up cutting them too short so i had to do the hike in rough
cut booty shorts despite not packing any clothes i was still too unfit, and one of the
rugby players in my class ended up carrying some of my stuff. After arriving at the campsite,
which was next to the beach, we got ready for dinner. When I asked what our mate had packed,
he said his mum had made him some spaghetti bolognese. He then pulled out a massive Ziploc
bag, unrefrigerated, of a homemade spag bol. This was the only food we had for the two-day trip.
Oh my God.
Which also included the hike back up a cliff face.
We ate it anyway.
Because we were camping next to the beach,
it got cold at night,
and not having any legs in my pants,
I got a cold and had a runny nose for the rest of the trip.
In the morning, we had spag bol for Brekkie,
and my mate shat himself on the hike out.
That sounds awful.
The visuals of that whole thing
are the worst.
That sounds like the exact event
that happens on every one of these
Duke of Edinburgh hikes.
Honestly, this is like this textbook hike.
Yeah, it is.
So the PS, Lewis,
when Flax mentioned the live
lightning strike website,
you said, well, it's over the ocean,
so it can't be reported. This annoyed me because did you really think the website had people looking out
their windows, updating strikes to the exact location? Keep these comments to yourself on
episodes. Yeah, Lewis. Fucking idiot. Jeez. So I have an answer to what happens with the lightning strikes.
We had quite a few emails about it, actually.
So the way it works is when lightning, this is from Darius,
when lightning strikes, it also releases a burst of radio waves,
which various listening stations pick up.
And you can then use the delay between the arrival
to triangulate the position of the lightning strike.
Amazing. So that's the answer. But there is more interesting stuff these listening stations
can hear. Since the radio waves are in the very low frequency, they are within human
hearing frequency. You can therefore convert them directly to sound and then there are these
websites where you can tune in and hear lightning strikes across the world and you can hear the
the sound of the lightning.
Does it sound like you'd expect it to?
Or is it like one of those things, you know, where they're like,
here, listen to this crazy sound we heard in space.
And it's always like, ooh.
Is it just that or what?
I don't know.
It's like I've heard this shit before.
They're like, this is what this star sounds like.
They play this otherworldly fucking whale song sound.
And they're like, it doesn't actually sound like that. is like pitched up 1000 times or like you know or like you know
here's the sound of jupiter and it's like yeah it doesn't sound at all how you'd expect it to right
no and it's also i think they're just converting i mean it might sound maybe it does sound like
that if you know they're always like this is what it would sound like if there was an atmosphere and it made a
sound you could hear.
It's like,
all right,
so it's not actually making a sound.
I think the problem is,
is that what happens is right.
You get a scientist doing something interesting and they report it.
And then the,
the,
the tabloid,
you know,
the next tier up report it in less words.
And then the next tier up report it as a single line until it gets
until that's what we see we get
you know we get from like a study of the
you know radio waves given off by a black
hole that gets converted through to
black holes sound like
a fart
they do
imagine you're out there like hey guys look
look on the horizon
it's just fart noise.
It's just bubbling a little.
It kind of sucks the majesty out of space.
Maybe not fart.
Maybe it should sound like a flushing toilet.
It just sounds like a clown horn.
It literally sounds like a flushing toilet.
That would be hilarious.
This is another email having a pop at Lewis.
So I marked it to be red.
Yeah, why not?
It's just funny.
No, go for it. I just wanted to reach red yeah why not it's funny no go for it uh just
wanted to reach out in support of lewis's mini rant on carl walker i'm sure that the short time
they spent together was enough for lewis to understand his entire personality yeah and get
an accurate read on his complete lack of intelligence and i'm doubly sure that his
rudeness slash aloofness was not a result of lewis making some cringey joke about dwarves or Walker's mum,
because when in the past has Lewis put his foot in his mouth around an athlete?
Jesus, it's true.
Karl Walker was definitely the weirdo in that interaction. Thank you, Matthew. Maybe
that wasn't meant to be read sarcastically, in which case I apologise, Matthew. I could read
it non-sarcastically. I'm sure that the time they spent together was enough for Lewis to understand
his entire personality and get an accurate read on his completesarcastically. I'm sure that the time they spent together was enough for Lewis to understand his entire personality
and get an accurate read on his complete lack of
intelligence. And I'm doubly sure that his
rudeness and lewdness was not a result.
It does. I can't help myself.
Well, look,
I've learned over the years to make snap
judgments of people when I've met them.
And I feel like
I'm a very good snap
judge of character. If you were there my friend
you would have agreed with me I promise
yeah there you go
because my snap judgment of your character
is that you're a very intelligent man
and you would be able to judge other people's characters
very well
well there you go take that one all the way
to the bank
take it all the way to the bank
this is from James just listened recently Take that one all the way to the bank. Yeah, take it all the way to the bank.
This is from James.
Just listened recently to episode 259, where you talk about conspiracy theories.
My dad is vulnerable to being easily led due to autism.
He left our family a few years ago and met a woman who was an ardent anti-vaxxer.
She effectively brainwashed him into believing it all. And since then, it's gone from vaccines to chemtrails
to the really crazy things like lizard people
and all the rest of it,
and including that the earth is flat.
I hardly recognize him anymore.
He's a completely different person.
I cannot have a conversation with him
without him chatting about this nonsense.
As expert dads, how should I approach dealing with this?
This is a tough one.
It's a tough one.
But I think you just have to, as hard as it is for me, my advice would just be, just limit your exposure.
And then, you know, when you are around somebody who you do disagree with a lot of what they think and say, at least if you're not around them all the time, you can sort of just go along with it a little bit, you know? You can just sort of say,
oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know what I mean? But I think if you're
around somebody all the time, and that is like the topic of conversation, it's just going to
get worse and worse, right? There's going to be friction and stuff because-
It's so hard to change people's- This is a problem which humanity has had since the
dawn of time. And we have so many problems with, even now, with people getting brainwashed
into cults or religions, people believing things without any kind of reason just because
they were told to, people wanting to believe there's something moral that other people
are hiding stuff from them and they're the real truth knowledges or whatever do you mean like like it's it's a problem
that we have even in like the elections in the biggest country in the world that people just
believe falsehoods and there's the government can't deal with it the school system can't deal
with it in fact in many ways the school system uses it you know look at how patriotic the
education systems are in countries you know in the uk even we don't learn about all the awful things some of the uk did yeah um but we're quite
keen to talk about all the other things other countries did that were way worse right and it's
kind of baked into you right like um so you're full of biases and things that are false and
beliefs that are at least at least bent if not completely wrong and and try to identify them or
at least dial them back in other people yeah it's as hard as getting them to quit smoking or or
drinking like you might want them to to lose weight but you telling them to do it is not going
to do it and in fact i think it's the opposite i think that if you try to convince someone out of
a conspiracy theory you're going to just dig them in deeper yeah right yeah and they had the only
way to get anyone to do anything is to make them think it was their own idea right that's the only
way like if you want to get someone to quit smoking you have to trick them into thinking
it was their idea to quit smoking yeah you know if i want to get someone otherwise i'm not going
to be their friend i've learned this over a long time like i can either be a friend of people or i can you know tell them what i really think it's it's in my experience it is like lewis said
it is impossible to change people and the older people get the more locked into however they are
is i'm not saying it never happens but just in my experience it's really tough
and what you have to what you have to boil it down to is that for you as a person and for your mental well-being and mental health and stuff, you need to realize that most interactions you have should be on your own terms and should end positively.
You should be coming away from a social interaction with a loved one feeling angry drained upset you know what i
mean like you really just need to get to the point where you're not around that person as much as
hard as it is it's really impossible to change them like i sometimes read like the am i the
assholes or whatever relationship because it pops up on the front page and i'm bored and
doom's grinding my phone or whatever right but that's a different problem. But a lot of the time on there, there is people having these things where they're like, you know, my partner has like gained weight or my partner and I don't know how to tell them.
But from the other side as well, it's like my partner has suddenly started calling me fat or saying they're being mean, like being mean to me and saying i should go to the gym like not even like calling him not not even like bad necessarily but saying like
saying like oh you know i me and my husband are having problems he started doing these things
and you know and everyone in the comments is like break up with him he's toxic yes he's telling you
these things right it's like it's like their first that that's all the comments are and i i kind of
agree in some sense but also i in that
you know your loved one should you know be loving you for who you are and not caring about any of
this stuff but at the same time your loved ones are sometimes the only people who are willing to
tell you the things that they think are going wrong with you right like and and they it's hard
isn't it it's always your family who ends up becoming
the enemy for telling you stuff that and oftentimes they do it they tell you the wrong stuff too like
they don't get me wrong like they'll tell you to have kids or you know they'll tell you that
the things that you don't that are wrong or they'll tell you to believe in conspiracy theories
like it goes the other way as well but i guess what i'm trying to say is like it's so tricky to to know how to even approach people that you love about this because you don't want to you
don't want to you know you don't want to damage that relationship it's almost feels so fragile
these days um especially if you're not married with you know if you're not settled and it's
locked down yeah it almost feels like the internet's advice is to like have a zero tolerance on people being toxic to you um which as a result where's
who's where's the motive the motivation has to come from inside it's like it's like it's like
there's a guy with bad breath in the office right how the fuck do i tell that guy that he's got bad
you don't have to tell him yeah every time just accept that he has that he has bad breath and
just do your best to stay away from him if it bothers
you that much. Everybody feels like it's their responsibility to fix everything and it's not.
Some things are just the way they are and it sucks to hear that sometimes your loved ones just don't
measure up to what they need to be. You know what I mean mean you can spend your whole life trying to convince
somebody otherwise or or whatever and in the end it's just not worth it because the only person
that ends up uh falling is is you because you if you're if you're already like somewhat of a stable
person and you believe in things that you that you believe in and and and it's whatever you you
shouldn't need to be dragged down, I don't
think.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's not, I don't think it's anybody's responsibility to fix somebody else or sort
somebody else out or whatever.
Like, it's just, it's a waste of time and it just, it impacts so negatively on you in
the long term as well.
You know what I mean?
I think the answer actually, well, an answer is to work together with that person right like if if you work together with them but some some
some people actually need professional help though they need therapy they need they need all sorts of
stuff you know like if you can't you can't shoulder it all it's too much you like you've you've got
your own own life to live you you can't be minding somebody as
well you know what i mean like it's it's it's pretty straightforward stuff if you can though
i think you can work together you can smoking together you can walk together you can go to the
gym together you can you can make an effort to involve them but if if you try a couple of times
and it doesn't work then you you you can't just keep doing the same thing over and over and over and and winding up in the same dead end over and over and over i guess it depends how
important is to you and i think when it comes to conspiracy theory nuts and people believing in
that kind of stuff it doesn't feel as important if someone's literally been told that you know
they're gonna die of a heart attack unless they stop eating meat yeah you know i mean these things
then suddenly that's a wake-up call for them yes also for you for loved ones of them to help them and i think that you get you see
these like interventions and stuff i feel like oh my god i if someone did an intervention on me i'd
i'd resent them forever yeah i'm terrified of doing an intervention on someone because i think
that would be like how do i make enemies for life i don't think it's the answer i think
if you if you if you want to help and the person that you want to help wants to be helped,
then there's avenues for that.
I don't think an intervention is really going to work, right?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never done one.
I don't know anyone who's been involved.
I've never done one either, but I would never do one either.
I mean, if someone's's gonna kill themselves and their
friends into and loved ones intervene and yeah you've got to stop i can see the positives to
that sure um i don't know i mean if you look here's a topic if you've been involved in an
intervention in some way i don't want i don't want this uh mailbag to get too heavy no but uh
we could read a couple of stories and maybe think about it like we're generalizing a lot here as
well obviously there's going to be very specific situations where absolutely you should intervene
or whatever but i think when when dealing with somebody who's believing in conspiracy theories
and and is with somebody who's enabling them and and stuff like that i just don't know if it's yeah
i know that in those circumstances i just don't just don't know if you get involved to that extent, because...
Yeah.
Here's some advice I've got.
When it comes to my dad, and I have very, very different political views, like wildly
different, to the point where I actually find his views offensive.
And this could be a real problem actually at the dinner table or at family events.
Well, he lives in Florida, so we don't see each other. And this could be a real problem actually at like the dinner table or like at family events.
Well, he lives in Florida so we don't see each other.
Politics is one of those things that really kind of can like drive a wedge in a family.
And has done as well. You hear about it a lot more and more now, right?
It feels like this stuff doesn't really matter sometimes.
It does not really. Ultimately it doesn't and it shouldn't really. But but you gotta you gotta consider as well if that if
if that is enough to cause a big rift in your family it was gonna be that or something else
right like it's if if if the if the piece is so fragile in the first place you know what i mean
so here's what i do uh i just have a rule that we don't talk about politics yeah fair enough and if
he if he starts bringing it up i'll just move on to something else yeah uh because it's just no point no like there is literally no point like you said you're not
going to change their mind uh it's it's just you know if it was if our relationship was a discord
um like we would have a general chat channel i'd hang out in that channel yeah the the politics
channel i would never go in and that's true on my discord i have a politics channel i just don't go
in there no i keep all everyone wants to have those conversations go fucking
have them i don't want any part of it because i'm going to read something that's going to annoy me
and it's going to change my opinion of someone where i think how the fuck can they think like
that yeah that's a that's really awful uh so i just avoid it yeah i think the problem with politics
is it's actually way more fucking complicated than it seems on the surface and
it's so nuanced and fiddly and you're trying to predict the future and and and honestly you're
powerless to change anything too right you're you're working with a lack of a complete lack
of incomplete information sorry i know what you're working do you mean and it's like me and
ben talked about this a lot and i think we we're kind of constantly, as humans on the earth,
we're constantly made responsible for everything as if it's our fault.
Yes.
We have the vote.
So we vote for this.
So it's our fault.
Or we're not recycling enough.
Or we're buying yogurt in plastic.
So we're destroying the planet.
Or we're leaving the heating on.
Or we're using air cons.
It's almost like it's our,
everything's being put at our feet.
And if you let that get to you,
you end up being like so fucking miserable all the time.
Yeah.
It's like,
you know,
it's so,
you're so powerless.
And yet we're made to feel like it's our,
like we are powerful and we can take control of our own destiny and we can change things,
but we can't.
And you're constantly told all these awful awful things
that happen you can and there's obviously nothing
you can do about them a lot
of the time yeah sure you could go out and protest
in Bristol and hold some placards
up and you know march along with everyone
else if that's what you want to do yeah exactly
and if that makes you feel better great
you know but I think
ignorance is bliss honestly when it comes to this
I'd say in all things ignorance is bliss which is it comes to this i'd say in all things
ignorance is bliss which is why i'm so happy i'm an idiot yeah i i as i've gotten older i've
definitely gotten to a point where i'm like i just don't i just don't want it's just better if i don't
know about this yeah i i i'm interested to to read about stuff like, you know, I like to learn and see what makes
people tick and stuff like that, but I don't want to get involved.
You know, I don't want to have to convince somebody of a point that I'm making.
I don't want to have to convince somebody that the earth is flat or not.
You know what I mean?
Like, it's just, I don't feel it's not my place to do it.
Even when I do my research and I feel like I know everything about something,
I still feel like I'm not smart enough to make a decision, right?
I think, and as a result, like, I just feel like there's this,
that has led to me caring less about it, which means I learn less about it,
which means I care less about it, which means my knowledge is kind of,
yes, like you said, Sips, I'm'm interested in i'll watch a documentary or news or anything
like anyone else right and be interested in it but but i also know deep in my heart i don't want
to be in a big debate with somebody smarter people because i because my my default stance is is is not
is so non-committal anyway i'm not you know i'm not i don't i don't agree with like
racists and nazis and fascists and stuff like that obviously but um at the same time like i don't want
to have a big debate with them i don't want to have a big debate with people on the other side
either you know what i mean like it's i think i'm old enough to realize that most people are just
not going to really change their minds about certain things
you know like i think if you've gone to the effort to start believing in the things that you believe
in in the first place i i'm never going to in a million years be able to convince you otherwise
like uh you know what i mean there's not going to be this big like uh you know epiphany moments
where it's like holy shit yeah that's all i needed was for him to say this one thing
and now i've completely changed my mind like i've never seen that happen before in my whole life
and like i look at news tv at the moment they always have two opposing views on and all it's
doing is playing to the respective galleries yeah there's no one changing their mind anyone
who's undecided isn't going to watch it and doesn't care yeah like it's you're literally just
preaching to the two choirs.
Yeah.
And you just get the two sides to do that.
It's just to get eyeballs on these things.
So, when you have an argument with a friend or a loved one about politics, it's never going to end well.
There's no point where you're both going to go, do you know what?
That was a really good chat.
Thanks.
And I've got lots to think about and so have you.
I'm now working with just our opinions.
No.
Most of these conversations just end up being dictated by ego anyway, right?
Because you've got an opinion that you're insecure about.
And your friend has an opinion that they're pretty insecure about.
So, everybody's pride and everything gets in the way.
And it's never going to end, like you said, with like, oh, thanks, Barry.
Thanks for enlightening me.
It's always going to be fuck
you you have it in for me you've always been trying to destroy me um now i really think that
the earth is flat as fucking hell and i want to punch you in the face as well and that's basically
how every conversation or argument or debate goes right even since ancient greece we've had these
great orators telling their you know convincing doing debating and standing up in the in the center and talking about what they believe in and trying to convince people and trying to change people's minds with, you know, convincing arguments. of fallacies and lies and no one has enough knowledge to be an expert on everything or even
know about everything like you know even as someone with a master's in chemistry you know
my knowledge of chemistry is in such a tiny part of that pie chart right like i i'm not an an expert
at all and a politician has to be an expert on everything from war to health care to educating
kids to roads do you mean and we shift them around certainly in the uk it's like just a random guy
suddenly oh one time he's secretary of the environment the next year he's in charge of
the police and it's like you know it's it's these people have to have to try and be polymaths, but mostly they're just bungling along, making decisions
which the newspapers, which one of these is going to play best.
It's a juggling game of frustrating nonsense.
Most of them try to be polymaths, but they end up being polyworlds, the Pokemon.
All right, let's move on.
This will be the last one.
Sorry, I am fascinated in that subject.
So, sorry, I dragged it out.
I am too, but I don't know.
I don't want to come across as like cranky, old and uncaring and stuff.
But I really do feel that you have to pick your battles.
Like some things are worth pursuing
and other things are just absolutely not they will just waste all of your time and make you
miserable so apologies if that means your relationship with your dad uh falters a little
bit but um i think from for the sounds of it your mental health is suffering from having to worry
about this stuff and i think uh like sip said you're not going to change his mind yeah um and i think my advice of just avoiding those topics as best you can yes when they when
they bring it up just find things to do that are fun where you don't get engaged in that stuff go
bowling or whatever and then if the topic comes up just say okay time to go home you know like it
you just right you just have to like everything in life you gotta play people to their strengths
right and and And do the
stuff that you know is safe and fun and that everybody can just get some good time out of.
There's enough conversation. Talk about portage, talk about the bear story,
you know, like there's enough shit to talk about, right?
Okay, this is from Jacob. This will be the last one, I guess, because we're over an hour now.
So, was just listening to episode 259 and you guys were talking about the battle of,
and the fact that Google autofilled a weird response. It got me thinking of the fact that in recent weeks, a lot of my search results have had York tagged in them at the end for
no real reason. At first, I thought this was really weird and random, but then I started
playing the new Zelda Tears of the Kingdom, and I realized that I presume from the results of the other
searches that York was in fact TOTK, and people's keyboards had been auto-correcting the searches.
So T-O-T-K, Tears of the Kingdom.
Oh, I see, yeah.
But people's keyboards are auto-correcting it to York.
Yeah.
I thought this was funny and thought you might get a chuckle out of it because it means Google's
own auto-correct is messing up their search engine results.
This is something you see quite a lot.
When you mistype something, Google knows what you mean because other people make the same
typo a million times a day searching for the same thing.
So I thought that was quite interesting.
I do wonder how many search results, how many pages have been accidentally bumped up by
the search um algorithm
through typos the recent one where they changed they changed autocorrect on i think it was apple
phones to not uh autocorrect to ducking hell i i can't tell you how many times that has annoyed me
you're you're trying to write fucking hell and and it autocorrects to ducking hell and it's so
annoying like because normally if you use it if you're throwing a fucking hell in there, it's because you're kind of annoyed or, you know, you're passionate on the subject or whatever.
And to have your time wasted by ducking hell is just too much.
It's a life's too short.
I think actually it's a decent percent.
I think I'd say not more than about half or 1%, but I think it's still an amount. And the reason I'm saying that is because back in the day, in the back end of YouTube, we used to get a very good analytical feed of what people would type in to get to our videos, right? suggested tags and like yogs cast would be a tag but then and that would be like a tag of like you
know 250 but then there would be like yog cat and that would be five right and then yogs yog cast
would be another five yeah i mean so there would be like these tags would almost be in the most
searched for things that got to your channel right so i think there are there is a significant typo population that happens i
don't really even type bother typing i i when i type into google i i expect it to also correct
i think a lot of people do as well they just splodge it in i don't care um because you almost
know that it's gonna auto fix right yeah yeah um so i wonder if if that- if Google being good at it has just led to it being worse, you
know, more people making typos.
I wonder, yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, that's our mailbag this week.
What a mailbag!
I hope you guys enjoyed it.
That was a really good one.
Some fantastic emails.
It was all over the place.
Yeah, good emails.
It went-
Lots of variety.
It went deep, it went up in the sky, it went all around.
It was nice.
A good variety, like you said.
I have one request, which would be quite often we get emails following up on things we talked
about on the previous mailbag, which is great. Sometimes it gives us some clarity on things
and adds details. Love that. But let's have some topics that we haven't talked about before. So,
if you've got something that we haven't mentioned, interesting stories or something fun or interesting that you've done or that you've heard about that we haven't talked about before. So if you've got something that we haven't mentioned, interesting stories or something fun or interesting that you've done or that you've
heard about that we haven't talked about, go ahead and send it in and I'll see if... I filter through
every email that you send to the mailbag. The ones I don't respond to, don't assume I don't
like them. It's just that sometimes we've already had like five or six along the same lines this
week. Or as I keep saying, sometimes the emails are too long. So I appreciate
a TLDR, which some people do, but sometimes it's like four screens worth of text. I'm sorry. I love
the fact you typed this email out. I hope you understand it. It's not going to get read out
on the podcast, but thank you so much for sending them in. Maybe we could do like a special podcast
where we just read out one really long one. Oh my God. We could do that. But honestly,
some of them, and the thing is, some of them them they're not written like an essay it's just a very rambling stream of consciousness
i can imagine someone's up very late at night and they just thought i'm a fucking email
trifles podcast they just start typing and they never stop that's that's what it looks like but
yeah we've had some crackers lately so thank you all right appreciate it thanks have a good time
p flex yes enjoy yourself yeah I'll be back next.
All right.
Yeah.
Cheers.
Bye.