Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #18: Ne suce pas la balle!!

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Triforce Mailbag Special 18! We get a weirdly detailed email about Argos, a list of annoyances that make zero sense, a letter about a kid who eats bird balls and we solve the housing crisis while rebranding the UK. Another successful mailbag! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe Mailbag. It's the mailbag. Nice. Nice. You can just sample it in like a DJ. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Okay.

Nice. Nice. Nice. Anyway. Mailbag. Yeah, mailbag. Let's get right to it. I just want to say, I've had a very, very emotional morning, um, because it's my- my youngest.

Her leaver's day assembly was today, so she's leaving primary school. And it was all the kids and all the parents that I've known. Some of them I've known for like 10 years. Yes. Um, and, uh, they all sang a bunch of songs. They all just stand up and say a memory, their favorite memory from school and everything like that. And it was, uh, I was crying two seconds into the assembly and I didn't stop. Did they get certificates?

No, they got a book and they get a yearbook. A yearbook is coming as well. But yeah, it was- We had the same thing yesterday for my son, who's in the same situation. Same sort of format. There was like pictures of them when they were little, when they first started singing. They all sung a bunch of songs and stuff. But instead sharing memories they had like it's like an awards ceremony they gave certificates and uh i i don't know if it was meant to be emotional but i did not feel upset uh

throughout and there was like but it was because i'm gonna sound like lewis now there's like little technicalities that kind of did it for me like uh right when we got in there they were playing this song and it was kind of like this you know this acoustic song about leaving something or whatever it's meant to be sad but the the song stopped like short of the end you know like two seconds very abruptly and then started again and the same song played like 10 times and at that point i was so annoyed that i don't think i could be yeah it it it did low-key irritate me and i did i i felt just annoyed for the rest of the assembly i was unable to be emotional beyond that i spoke to ben about this the other day because i think he's in a similar situation he says well not i think his

son's a little little bit younger than yours but but he said to me, like, it's funny because as a parent, like he feels like sometimes he's dealing with a low level of loss or like grief because, you know, he remembers his son grows up so quickly, you know, his kids grow up so quick and you miss kind of who they were, that the person that they were isn't there anymore. There's now this new older different person but there is this kind of strange feeling of like it's it's over you know and i guess is that what it was from the primary school thing yeah i mean it was it was it was like the end of an era because obviously my eldest went to the school as well so i've just

been i've been taking my kids to that school we, we've really good friends with a lot of the parents there now. And I've seen their kids grow up from like reception to like, now they're like 14. That's my eldest year group. So we know a lot of those parents and we've just, we've all sort of gone from our thirties into our forties together. Um, it was very emotional and the kids were crying. So I started crying even more when i saw that and it was just it was i was a mess luckily there were a couple of mums in front that we know that were passing me tissues because they started crying as well once their kids started crying then they started crying but i was just i was just crying from the get-go it's very sad it's like it's been a huge part of my life and now you know it's over yeah i mean you won't be going back there i guess um unless

there's a some sort of charity sale or some church thing. Something will bring you back to the primary school, no doubt. And it'll be sad to walk around. I seem to remember that when I left primary school, because it was in the same village as I grew up. Even though through my teens, I ended up going there through scouts or something or some event just on the field outside. And, yeah, it was always a little bit kind of bittersweet memories. Yeah, very sad. Get yourself together.

Pull yourself together, man. I'll try. I'll try. All right. I love how in touch you are. I love the idea that you opened to crying as well. Well, I was the first one crying. There's no doubt about it.

I didn't have you down as a crier. I cry constantly. Well, Sips, maybe if there'd been a big bald dad next to you bawling his eyes out, he would have set you off as well. I doubt it. Sips doesn't strike me as a crier at all. Maybe you need some deep thoughts. Have you ever heard of Jack Handy? No.

Is this a joke? No, it's an old... I don't even know if it's still running, but it's an old Saturday Night Live sketch called Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. And it's like motivational quotes and passages usually played over like, you know, there's a beach scene or some tranquil ocean scene in the background with some nice 90s piano music or whatever. Okay, I've got an example. Right. If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?

That's ridiculous. Stuff like that. Listen to this one. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. It's just, it's stuff like that, you know. That's a good one. Yeah, they're good ones. There's some funny ones in there, for sure.

Alright, so let's get to it. Some really, really a very mixed bag this week. Some very, some, alright, listen, listen, I'm going to be critical of some of the email inners. Right. I assume you're typing these on your phone, so it does make them very hard to read when it's just a block of text.

Let's work on some punctuation here, people, and some basic composition. I want sentences. I would like some punctuation because I can't read it when your email is literally nonstop text with no breaks and no punctuation. It ain't getting read out. Some people just write like that dude like some people don't use caps i'm sorry some people just write like that it's not good enough that's not good enough off the front of their tweets no it's not good enough i'm sorry it's

not i respect it no i don't because it's illegible it's not a style there is a reason that things are laid out the way they are that's how it's easy to read. Listen, it's refreshing because it gives you context as to that person who's written this. If they said you a complete wall of text with no punctuation at all. Yeah, guess what? It ain't getting read. You know what you're dealing with. Yeah, an email that's going straight in the bin. I have something helpful here for you. It's a song called Punctuation Rock.

And it's featured on a Le leapfrog laptop for kids and uh i'm aware of this song intimately because all three of my kids have used this leapfrog laptop to death and played all of these songs on it would you like to hear the lyrics to punctuation rock it's helpful absolutely yeah go for it okay i won't do the music but basically it goes pun pun punctuation pun pun punctuation when there's a comma you should pause for a beat a period means that the sentence is complete right oh nice yeah yeah full stop pun pun punctuation and then there's the next part is you've ever been hung up by a question mark Have you?

Or an exclamation to make your point We're gonna rock this joint And then punctuation So hopefully, just bear those lyrics in mind And it'll help you with your punctuation In your further emails for the mailbag and remember there's like two-year-old kids that listen to this and maybe possibly know better and write through hearing this it's a classic well in our household at least it is like it's a bang everybody

knows all the lyrics and everything yeah it's a good one it makes you tear up oh yeah it's incredible yeah here if you guys want i I can hear, I can tell. Hang on a second. I've got a YouTube video here that I'll share with you as well, just so you get the full effect. You don't have to share it beyond, just listen to it when you have a chance, okay? Okay, okay. All right.

Good. All right. I guess you would just Google punk, punk, punctuation song. No, no, no, you don't even need to. Look, it's right- No, I'm saying for the audience. Oh, right, yeah. It's called Punk, Punk, Punk, Punctuation Song by LeapFrog, LeapPad look. It's right. I'm saying for the audience. Oh, right. Yeah. It's called Punk Punk Punk punctuation song by Leapfrog Leapad 2.

There you go. There you go. That's it. Yeah. All right. So we've had a lot of very detailed emails in one of them. I'm going to read this one simply because this is indicative of a lot of the very detailed emails I get.

And I want you to tell me what you think of it afterwards. So it gives me an idea of what kind of things you guys would like to hear on the podcast because obviously I'm doing the editing here which means the emails we hear are ones that interest me or that I think would be good but you guys might find this fascinating so if you do and this is to you and Sips like I'm not I'm not talking to the audience I don't care what they think I'm asking you guys does this interest you all right you ready yeah all right I'll tell you one way or another, you're going to know. This is an email from someone called M who starts the email, but then ends the email

saying, please keep me and my job function anonymous. Uh, so I'll just read the middle part. Um, basically they work for Sainsbury's, which is also the parent company of Argos. I'm not going to say what they do. Is it? Yeah. This is some context. Okay. In 2016, this reads like a Wikipedia article. So get ready. In 2016, Sainsbury's Supermarkets Limited, the grocery operation that sits under the PLC,

bought and merged with Argos in a buyout that was worth over a billion pounds to form the new trading entity, Sainsbury's Argos. However, Sainsbury's had no intention of keeping Argos in the state that it was with its rundown high street stores. It was more interested in Argos' proprietary technology. Argos is in the top 10 most visited e-commerce websites in the country and has been for many, many years, despite only recently scrapping the beloved catalog using COVID as an excuse. Anyway, due to the unique nature of Argos, its e-commerce platform and digital systems had to be built from the ground up rather than

off-the-shelf solution being utilized like 99% of other retailers. Since the acquisition and over the years, almost all of Sainsbury's e-commerce operations have been migrated and run into the Argos backend. So that's groceries online, clothing, habitat, home furniture. This allows for easier future-proofing, allowing our in-house devs to quickly develop and deploy new innovative features. You'll also notice an Argos concession inside most Sainsbury's supermarkets. The synergistic value of this is obvious. Grab a new TV and a bottle of wine and snacks for movie night on the way out of the store,

also providing plentiful free parking to customers collecting large orders. most importantly the sub use of sainsbury's store space massively reduces argus's cost base and profitability at argus has skyrocketed after closing a large majority of the high street stores as you can imagine there is also the future considerations our acquisition of nectar loyalty and bringing this in-house also along with our portfolio of brands covering everything you could ever need groceries, text toys, clothing, furniture, and even banking and finance. What's going on? Gives unimaginable amounts of data about the customers that choose to opt into the loyalty scheme. So I want you to tell me, what do you think of that email?

I think it's interesting. Insane. And I would, it's all stuff that possibly I could have just read on Wikipedia if I was interested enough to seek it out. Is this like a viral advert to try and get our audience to buy shares in Sainsbury's? And artificially boost the share value in order to make money for this writer. The lingo that was popping in there was very obviously the sort of bump that you'd see in some notes, some brochure that's going around to the executives and stuff like that. I'm just saying, what did you think of that email?

Do you want more of that or less of that? I'm getting succession vibes. Yeah, it's like Kendall Roy penned that one. Infinite blue skies, guys. Infinite blue skies. Infant Blue Skies, guys. Infant Blue Skies. We're going to disrupt. Okay. We're going to go in there and we're going to fuck them left, right and center.

I'll fuck them up all over the fucking place. Fuck. Like, you know, like typical succession. I've had an email here. See, this is the other end of the spectrum. Hi, Perrion. I'll keep it quick. The guy sticking up for Karl Walker was wrong and Lewis was right.

And now there is a sentence that I'm not sure if I'm legally allowed to read out. I'll Google something first. Okay. No, it's in the press already. So exposed himself in a bar. Oh, interesting. This was all caught on a CCTV camera. Oh.

So there you go. Okay, now hang on a second. Whipped out in a pub. Just one second about that. Like, where's the line? Where's the line what? Well, imagine I go skinny dipping. Right.

Is that okay? That's not whipping it out and pouring at some bloke's butt. All right. And so nudist beach, fine. That's like all the way over fine. Skinny dipping, fine. Well, hang on a second, though. I mean, nudist beach, you're allowed to go there and be nude,

but you're not really meant to assault people while you're on the beach. Right. No, you're right. The thing is, I think people sometimes, i'm not saying this happens all the time but sometimes people think that just because people are nude it's okay to get fresh with them but it's not i mean people well of course people can be nude and not be up for i feel like having sex as well sometimes you can just assault me by being nude though well that's a difference that's a that's like more of like an assault on the senses rather than like a physical um sexual assault you

know what i mean like yeah i mean like flashing's not okay in a bar anyway if you're whipping out your dong in a bar and trying to trying to strangle somebody you can't get away with that kind of shit no No. Yeah. Okay, skinny dipping in the hotel swimming pool. Well, you're not really meant to be nude there. There's no strict law. Maybe after hours.

There's no strict law there, but I think socially you should have the radar and the recognition to know that maybe that's not appropriate i think if you are doing if you are naked in an area and someone happens to see you for example there's no one around your own garden no well your own garden if you're naked in your own garden well whatever if somebody's looking into your garden um if they can't help what if you don't have a if you have

one of those fences that see through and you're naked in the garden and your neighbor's like can you not i understand that what i'm saying is let's say there's a pool let's say it's like a motel where you've got a pool in the middle and all the rooms sort of arrayed around yeah looking down yeah it's two in the morning you've come back hey let's go skinny dipping you're skinny dipping someone in the one of the right someone in the room looks out and they see you in the pool naked i don't think there's any harm there i don't think that's like an assault on that people they might say oh god there's naked people in the pool i don't care yeah i honestly don't care somebody is innocently naked you know like if a 75 year old dude is

walking around naked and he's just like you know taking the trash out and he's naked or whatever fine uh fine but if he's jacking off not fine i don't want it so you you go out of your front garden in the morning to take your rubbish out and your neighbor completely naked comes out and does the same you're like fine well i don't know if i'd be fine i would be a bit like okay what is this guy doing yeah but at the same time like i think there's there's there's uh innocent and acceptable nudity and then there's's inappropriate jacking off nudity. It's a line, and you know it when you see it. Good.

Okay, what about mooning someone? I don't like it. I don't want to be mooned necessarily, but I respect the rite of passage for young people to... I think everybody's done Chuck the Moon at least once in their life, right? I've never done it. Well, I have. I've done it like once or twice. I think everybody, or at least most people,

have pressed their ass cheeks up against a car window. I've never done that either. Oh, you're pissing out, man. No, I've got no interest in it. I was on holiday. My friend mooned me a couple times from across the across a boat or across the way this most recent holiday yeah yeah was it a guy or a girl guy yeah there was a bit of balls in it as well ladies ladies if you want to moon me feel

free it's like it's a bit tucked away it's like a juvenile sense of humor which i i don't mind either like i i know a couple of people who are like that that are just i know it was fine like like one guy i grew up with i've seen i've seen his dick probably more times i've seen my own dick because the big joke was his dick was just out you know you'd be you'd walk into a room and he just his dick would be like poking through his jeans or something you you know, like, and he thought it was hilarious. And most people did find it very funny. And then some people didn't find it funny,

but no, it was just that kind of guy, you know, like, um, if somebody fell asleep or passed out or whatever, um, you know,

his dick would just be like on their shoulder or something. It just like that. Yeah. This is not allowed anymore. Not really. No, but I mean, it's,

it's whatever. He might be in prison now. You need to check it out because maybe yeah but uh he was like uh he was i hope he's cleaned up his game because he was he was a just a bit of a prankster you know he just liked to he just liked the reaction he just liked you know he just like not so much shocking people but it was all it was all in in good fun you know i think i think the people he did it to he knew he would get a good reaction from or whatever you know like he wasn't yeah he didn't put people on the spot with it or anything like that it was just just just silly you know like we'd be at his house or whatever and uh he'd be like oh guys i just got to go to

the bathroom or whatever and he'd just come back completely naked like just okay this happened to me this actually did happen to me on holidays. Well, I'd forgotten, but yeah, my friend did actually just come out of the bathroom completely naked. Yeah. I was like, oh no. Yeah, it's funny, but like, you know, he was good in that he didn't do it all the time. The times he did it, it was very funny, but he never, like, overdid it either, you know? Well, this is what happened to me.

It was very funny when it happened but i did say don't do that again like quite quite seriously yeah it's a bit weird i mean it's kind of it's it's i think it's weirder the older you get to like when we were teenagers and stuff it was it was really funny but i mean i i mean i don't live anywhere close to i haven't seen him in a while if he did that to to me now, it's a sagging, you know, dad bod and he's bald. And he was doing that. Well, it might be the confidence thing, though, and the funny kind of guy. Like, do you know what I mean?

Like, I feel like if you're kind of creepy about it or like weird about it, you're not going to, you have to be a certain character to be able to pull it off, right? You have to have a baseline, quite high level of charisma to make that work and not get someone to tell the police on you. As we know, Kyle Walker put zero points into charisma so clearly when he placed the bar in a fucking bar

he failed the fucking check and got a point to the police. He just seemed to put most of his skill points into being a defender in football and maybe- He's a very good defender. So I'm not surprised that he failed his charisma check. Thank you, whoever wrote that.

Well, this is from Jesse. Now, this is Jesse. He's from Australia and he sent us a list of things that irritate him and he'd like to see if we have any thoughts on them. Now, I'm going to tell you, I've read ahead on this list. Wait, his name is Jesse and he's from Australiaralia yeah okay yeah how long is this list it's it's six items long and what okay read them okay i'll i'll buy it okay sips will buy it i've cherry picked these are a few number one wonder bed wonder bread trucks and they're advertising. I don't know what Wonder bread is. Wonder bread. It's what they had it in America for sure.

It's right. I don't understand what he hates about this. He sent me a picture of a truck that just says Wonder bread on it. I don't understand people who use boiling water in Weetabix instead of milk. I don't think anybody does that. No. Oh, no. Yeah, I've heard of it. I've heard of it. I've never heard of that. Co-workers wishing you a happy birthday just to be included, not because they care.

What do you want from them? What are you fucking talking about? Who the fuck in an office is actually keen to celebrate someone else's birthday? What are you talking about? Number four. Everyone is that. This is even worse. People confusing venom and poison.

Who fucking gives a shit? Well, the person who's uh poisoned uh by i think you mean venom or venomed yeah yeah number five well no no no it's different so if you eat them if you eat them you get poisoned whereas venom they poison you right but how are you getting annoyed by that because it's commonly commonly mistakes. But who cares? And it bothers people. Well, it's Australia. He's probably fucking poisoned and venomed all the damn time. You see there, they've got snakes and spiders and all sorts of shit down there.

Well, now, this one is weird. Lettuce leaves. Shredded is fine. So he just doesn't like lettuce leaves. But he doesn't mind them shredded. Right. And number six, pharmacists pretending they know better than your doctor. I have a big issue with that last one.

Your pharmacist probably does know more about the drugs that they are giving you. Yeah. Because they are specialized in pharmacy and doctors are not, especially your GP. They have to know a much broader scope of medicine. A pharmacist just knows pharmacy and probably does know a little better than your doctor about drugs sorry jesse but i don't think i've disagreed with an email that we've received to triforce more than i have this one shocking the doctor's supposed to diagnose right right then so but you shouldn't go to a pharmacist and expect them to diagnose you know

that's the problem that happens right like a lot of times people will go and tell their symptoms to the pharmacist the pharmacist will say oh it sounds like you have this this is the treatment and then that's like i don't my pharmacist will fine-tune the prescription as well right yeah the doctor might be like you need 10 weeks of this antibiotic and the pharmacist will say no you cannot have this for 10 weeks and then give you an appropriate dose or whatever um i think there's like there's definitely some working together medicine is so fucking broad right like yeah astonishingly broad you know from you know fucking ingrowing toenails to cancer to childbirth do you mean to fucking hair loss to vision stuff

every organ is like totally fucking different yeah and you obviously have specialists but you know if you're it's such a such a. And you obviously have specialists, but, you know, if you're... It's such a whole... Hey, you know what? It's such a complicated... You know what I had recently? I went to get an eye test recently, because I hadn't had one for, like, 12 years or whatever. I just wanted to check up on my eye health, you know?

I was getting, like, some dryness and, you know, just, like... I think because I spend so much time at a computer or whatever of course yeah yeah and i just thought you know what i'm just gonna go in and get my eyes tested and just make sure you know i don't want like there to be any weird shit that i'm unaware of or whatever yeah yeah so i went in and i got my eyes tested and uh i did the thing where you have to read out the letters and they put the different lenses on and you cover one eye and the other eye and stuff like that. And the lady doing it wasn't given much away at the time. And I thought, oh, here we go.

I'm fucking blind as hell. I got it all wrong or whatever. And she's like, okay, well, you've got better eyesight than a pilot. And I was like, oh, fantastic. And she said, I'm pretty sure you're never're never ever gonna need glasses in your entire life so i was like wow that's cool and she's like if you you'll need reading glasses at some point in your life but you can buy them anywhere you don't need prescription ones just grab any any sort of reading glasses from you know walmart or whatever you see them in you're good to go yeah yeah so i

thought that was pretty awesome yeah that is very very happy yeah you're very lucky i wish i had that my sister is the same she has 20 20 vision and has never needed anything and i was you know i was basically born born with good vision and then 19 bam glasses and i've never had i've never been able to stop where i take them off i can't even read i can't even read the screen at a regular reading distance. I can't recognize people past six feet. It's fucking shit. I got the puffs, you know, like the eye tests that they do with the puff in your eye and everything. And I looked at the picture of my eye magnified, and she's like, this is a beautiful eye.

She's like, see all these green boxes down here? She's hitting on you. For most people, they're all beige, and you're green, which is good. Your eyes are fucking amazing. Call me. I'm touching myself thinking about your eyes. Yeah. So I was like, holy shit, man, maybe I could be like an eye model or something, you know?

Yeah. Like George was a hand model in that episode. I could do eyes. What? I hope so. Well, let's move on what the fuck are you modelling we've only read like three emails

don't fucking judge me it's not I want to get through these because otherwise they're going to stack up he's got to clear out it's a process Lewis let me do it this guy is called R so as I know it's what you prefer

I'll get right to it. Well, you didn't, though, did you, R? You put that sentence in. Get rid of it. Since you asked for some interesting work stories, I work as an electrical engineer for an aerospace company. I'll cut through all this. Basically, he works on cameras that they put on these planes that fly at about 10,000 feet over

areas where wildfires are common, and they try to spot the flare-up as quickly as they can, so they can ping the GPS coordinates to the fire brigade and get out there and put it out before it becomes a big deal. We had a major fire that came up in California, and an operator began the night shift in order to start mapping the fire and coordinate with firefighters on the ground to get a handle on it. As I mentioned about the flare-ups, one of the operators spotted one a few miles away

from the main fire. They pinged the location to the firefighters on the ground. Firefighters got back to them within a few minutes over the radio and informed them that was the location of one of the forward operating bases of the firefighters. Turns out the flare-up that the camera caught in infrared was one of the firefighters lighting a cigarette. No way. No way. It is that fucking good.

Holy shit. That is impressive. That is impressive. That is cool. I mean, honestly, if we have these things flying around, that's going to save, that's going to stop so many fires. Because you could catch it really early. Yeah, yeah, you catch it early. Spot that flare up. And then if you had like a, you know, a drone that had a little tiny hose on it.

Or just a load of gas. Just when it starts up, it could just get right down there. Zips in there. Just give it a little squirt and it's done you want a drone that looks like like uh those uh those honeypot ants that would be fucking weird though swollen ass the coverage you need so many of them imagine you went out for a hike and you're like i can't wait to get to nature you look up there's a fucking million drones hovering above the forest waiting to put out like a little fire you light a cigarette

and it's spraying you yeah it's like you need like a satellite essentially like a series of satellites that are zoomed in on areas and with this technology somehow i don't know whether it's possible at that range to spot the fire early but um this is the kind of shit we're gonna need to do now we're gonna need to work on this stuff man you think you think it'll get get to a point where we're just gonna fuck up uh or or make our world so miserable with all this shit that uh eventually when we can reach beyond you know our solar system and and find other places to live is that you think they'll find a nice you know alpine planet that they'll just leave to nature and let people go there and just not uh set up industry and stuff you know like for all those people who want to live off

the grid just their own little planet that they can go to that's not spoiled by like all all of you know what i mean it'd be nice wouldn't it it would be good it'd be nice to think that we can find so many planets eventually that everybody could just have their own little paradise or something, you know? If you want to live in, like, some heavily industrialized planet. Portage planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Poutine portage planet. I mean, that's Canada.

You could, yeah, planet Canada. I don't think Canada's going anywhere. Everybody just eats poutine and does portages all the time and nothing else. You don't have to do anything else. Yeah, sure. Here's a question from Ben, not that one, a different one. Can you please discuss the topic of NIMBYism, housing shortage and your take on how we tackle

the issues relating to housing in the UK? I work in construction, so I want to see both sides of this argument. NIMBYism is not in my backyard, right? both sides of this argument NIMBYism is not in my backyard right not in my backyard is NIMBY it's a issue for anyone that doesn't actually want to it's people that write in

and say we need a skate park and then they turn around and say okay we're going to build one right next to your house and they say we don't need a skate park are you crazy we don't want a skate park now any kind of big construction yeah it's like houses schools people like well i don't want around here yeah and they've always got a reason so they don't there's there's a reason for where they live to stay exactly as it is because it's perfect but everywhere else needs to change because it if not then it threatens their perfect little patch of the world. So I've actually been, because obviously there is a housing problem.

I have two young children who probably within a decade or slightly over will be looking to find somewhere to live. Might want to do something that people did, my parents' generation, and just buy a house, which was a thing that people did in their 20s, in the 50s and 60s. I'm sure. Not so much nowadays. I'm sure every generation says this, but I cannot imagine that this generation of children will ever be able to afford to buy a house. No, not every generation has said that. What you're talking about is this generation of 30-year-old adults.

That can't afford it. Yeah, true. Right now. It's insane, yeah. There are some buying houses because they bought a flat or they would give, you know, left money or whatever. Sure. There are still young people.

Again, you say that though, but currently it's a problem. Like I was with a couple of people on holiday and they're having to sell their house because the mortgage payments have gone up way too much. Yeah. The interest rates just skyrocketed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They, they put them up. So a bunch of people bought houses, I think, I think because there was a scheme to encourage people to buy houses. And then that fixed rate is ending, or a lot of people bought houses at a similar time. And when that fixed rate ends, well, the fixed the interest rates jumped up, you're now facing much huge payments, and it's going to be an absolute disaster. For those people. up, they're now facing huge payments and it's going to be an absolute disaster for those

people. Most of the time you can fix at about five years or whatever. So if you fixed about five years ago at basically like no interest or whatever, your payments were what they were, but now they've gone up a lot when you're coming to renegotiate or refix your rates. Right. But I mean mean whatever problems people are having now it is only going to get worse yes yes some people are seeing their

mortgage payments like double or triple but even even just the cost of acquiring property like the bank if you're if you're a single person and you're earning say like 50 grand a year or whatever most banks are only going to lend you about five times what you earn um if that if that it depends on your down payment as well so yeah so you don't have a down payment you're you're immediately excluded there's no no chance and but not a lot of people have a massive down payment to put down i mean you're talking hundreds of thousands of dollars or pounds now for so so there are a few problems here. First of all, what we don't want, and I mean, this is for the government to step in and say, don't worry, we're going to have a scheme where we encourage the banks to lend people.

We with, you know, much easier to get a mortgage, no zero money down, fixed interest for three years, and then it jumps up all this stuff. We don't want that. That's what happened in 2008. fixed interest for three years, and then it jumps up, all this stuff. We don't want that. That's what happened in 2008, prior to that huge property bubble, people buying two, three, four houses, and then it all went to shit. We do not want that. What we desperately need is for there to be more housing.

Now, in relation to this question, where do you put it? I know I listened to a talk, I think it might have been on Radio 4 about this a while back, and they were talking about Greenbelt land, which has been this green belt around London. There are all these parts and other parts of the country where they're saying no construction here. It's important that we have wild areas, but people's vision of what Greenbelt land is and what a lot of it actually is are not necessarily mired in reality, shall we say. Quite a lot of areas that are designated greenbelt are anything but green, luscious areas with all wildlife and rivers and gentle brooks and deer. It's just scrubland that

nobody's using. It's like wasteland. Quite a lot of those areas are called greenbelt. So just have a look into what counts as greenbelt land and just wonder whether we could actually build on some of those areas. The other thing is the government allowing people to, you know, sort of encouraging people to work from home and stuff like that really could have been a big part of the solution to this because you don't have to be in London to work in London. If you can telecommute, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eases a lot of transport congestion problems. You can build new houses in areas that are out in the country, a bit quieter, land is cheaper, all of that stuff. You can build more housing. Um, but it's a, it's a big problem, especially because we tend to

see this as let's build vast estates of new build houses that are identical and as tiny as possible to squeeze as many, many people in as we could. Now we did that in my area of Twickenham. If you look at the age of the houses in Twickenham, they're all about 100 years old. And they were all built in a very short space of time, about 19 between 1902 1903 and about 1906 1907. Thousands of houses to support railway workers and working class people in London. These were working class homes. Now they're like middle class homes. And they're worth a lot more because it's tweaking them and the areas improved.

If you build these cheap new build houses, are they ever going to be worth more than people are paying for them now is the question that I think also needs to be asked. If I buy a house and it never really goes up in value- It will though, every house does. And I just stuck there. The only reason it would is because the value of the land goes up and people want to live there. But if we all go for telecommuting, right, and there's no increase in the value of an area because essentially people live wherever they want, the value of land actually goes down and

there's sort of a stagnation of property prices, which is not a bad thing, I guess, in a way. You paid off your mortgage and then you sell the house to someone else. They don't have to pay three times what you paid for it to buy the house it sort of stagnates the property market but you'd never get elected on that if you said we're going to try and stagnate the property market you'd never get in no want the property values to go up yeah of course it's very very very complicated i still think build more fucking houses we we don't build apartments again like this is a problem if it was just a problem of building more houses then for demand then private housing companies would have exploded and they'd be building houses all over the place man in the east they are making houses in the east of london

last time i went through there on the train to get back to um to uh london city airport i counted and there was like i'm not even even joking. There was like 50 apartment blocks. Yeah. There was cranes everywhere. They're not apartment blocks that young people are going to be buying. No, no, no. These are like, yeah. Anything going up now is going up in an area that's already been gentrified and the, and

the prices have been absolutely jacked right up. It's property as investment. Yeah. They're just buying this. They're building a lot. I mean, this is a big thing. Do you remember we talked about, did we talk about ghost cities in China on a previous episode?

Oh yeah, yeah. We talked about it all the time. So I watched, my youngest was very intrigued by that. There's a lot of videos. There's one, I can't remember the name of it. Someone will know. Very famous one. The reason that they built these, it turns out, this is from a video I watched revealing

why these ghost cities existed, is because when you buy land in China, you're buying it not from individuals, but you're buying it from the local council essentially. And that council is like, if you're going to buy this land, you can't just sit on it and wait for it to go up in value. You have to use it because this is the people's land. So they build these huge cities on the land and all these apartment buildings because they want to be able to hold onto the land until it does go up in value. And this is actually the cheaper way for them to do it. And then of course they also sell the apartments.

And some of these ghost cities and ghost towns are now actually becoming populated. So it just seems bizarre, but it's actually just weird long-term investments- That's so weird. Yeah.... that these property developers have come up with to get around the rules around buying property in china people have talked to us about these sort of things before right and they've they've they've a lot of jobs can't telecommute telecommute right but some can and i think there is like some of my friends were saying you know we don't care we're gonna to leave London. We don't care where we go. We just want to be able to afford a house.

So they're looking at like anywhere, literally in the whole UK. Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like. Slough? It could be. Well, exactly. Like it could be a chance to regenerate some shitty place. Yeah.

If, you know, a bunch of people who work remotely can set up there. Here, I've got it. I've got a fucking mini solution for people and i think this is actually a good one if we can if you can telecommute and if more companies did it you know what it would revitalize because everybody would want to live in these places the rundown seaside towns of this nation and that's it made me think of this because i had an email from a guy from clacton on sea because we need to rename some of these towns to make them more like clacton on sea it's not a particularly good name for a place where i used to so that's where my nan lived right and for like 20 years you know in her time with my granddad and i used to go there every week uh clacton sea

we walked down the front we went to the pier it was a it's a bit of a shitty essex right it's like south end on c it's a bit shit a bit chavvy but actually probably relatively like safe and nice place to live if you you know if you want to grow up and i liked it i i mean yeah i think that but it's got a bad a bad name like bogner regis like all of these places along the front sound like dog shit yeah they need to be called like we need to give them like cool hot tiktok names do you mean like what i'm saying is you don't have to live i mean the clackton on sea is not that far from london do you remember i went to margate a few years back yeah back saying this place this place should

actually be on the up because it's like super close to London. And a lot of these houses are really beautiful old houses with fucking ocean views. Yeah. And nobody's living there. It's not a fashionable address. We need to get them. We need to get them. Like, honestly, we need to call them the American stuff. All the American cities have got, well, not all of them, but a lot of them have good names, right?

Like Sunnyvale. Do you know we need to rebrand and rebadge those are all towns that feature in horror movies by the way okay you're right um but no i think that would be the other thing i've seen pflax as a as a symptom of this and i've seen this quite a lot on the dating apps that i've been using people are either building and regenerating vans and niles he's actually bought a mazda bongo which i think is an old van or is it i can't remember it sounds like a really good car it's a shit camper that he is slowly doing up in his and he plans to sort of drive around you know the country and oh i see it it's one so for anybody that wonders it's one of those ones where the roof pops up like a tent

and you live in there um yes like like someone who's essentially given up on life that's yeah that's the image of this vehicle to me well this is though but a lot of people see this as freedom right it looks to me like the end of the line you would be surprised by how many youtube channels there are doing like small scale living camper van life yeah i'm like promoting it so glamorously yeah living out on the road all you need is like your i i mac for your fucking i i whatever your the laptop is the apple laptop that i don't use all you need is one of them and you know you're you're you can drive around you can park up anywhere yeah you can live this wonderful life in your tiny camper van it doesn't appeal to me because it's so cramped i've been in these things before i've been in caravan holidays

you know because plaques on sea my my my nan's sister used to have a caravan and i always be in there and it would be it was just so cramped and that's a caravan and I'd always be in there. And it would be, it was just so cramped. And that's a caravan. You know, that's like a dedicated space. It's only meant for you to sleep in. You're not meant to just sit in there all day. You're not meant to live in this. Look at the fucking weather in the UK.

We've got two months where you can go outside. Yeah, but I mean. You're in there all the fucking time. Well, I mean, it's. Maybe you're supposed to work, park up outside of town and go to the Starbucks and go into like a fucking board game. I feel like a lot. I feel like a lot of these ideas come from people watching movies and stuff. But I mean, a lot of movies take place in California.

I'm sure it's fine to live in a van in California. The weather is pretty good there all the time. I wouldn't mind doing it for a week or two, but like doing it for like living in there for years, like that be your retirement plan to like do up a- It's a disaster. It's a disaster. I think it's fine. Your van breaks down, your house breaks down.

When you're in your twenties, it's fine. I think when you're doing that and you're in your seventies, it's not fine. If you want to know what this is like, there's film called nomad nomadville i think um i'll look this up it came out last year or the year before um maybe it's not nomad well i did see this very frightening thing actually about this happening in america where people nomadland their houses and anymore and their only option was to buy a cheap rv yeah park it up on the side of red and live in that. So yeah, that's what this film is about.

It's a beautiful, beautiful film. It's got Frances McDormand in and she lives in a van and that is her whole life is in this van and she goes where the work is. So she drives around and goes to where the work is. It's an exceptionally good film. That is what this living would be like. It's such a romantic uh

notion but i'm not shitting on any of this stuff right i i just think that it's quite funny how this is sometimes a dream for people whereas i kind of i kind of feel like it's a nightmare i don't i don't want to have to live i don't want to have a camper van holiday in the uk that's all maybe am i crazy i don't know right in this is the whole point yes but that's why tell us about your camper van shit this whole this this whole subject is so fucking broad and complicated like there's no there's no solution to any of this stuff the the the the the prices of houses the market all that it's it's it's such a massive sprawling mess that is just it's always just going to be the the way it is because people with a lot of money um make sure that it is the way that it

is and it'll just stay the way that it is. It doesn't matter how much you sit around and talk about it. It doesn't even matter what MPs want to do about it or whatever. It will just always be this way. And it'll just get worse as well. I'll tell you what, the reason it's like this is because wage growth is dead. Yeah. If you look at the salary growth compared to every other price, the cost of buying people's fucking lives, which is what you're doing when you pay someone a salary, you're paying for their time on Earth.

You'd be like, it's... That has stagnated. The value of the human being has stagnated in capitalism. And I'm saying, bring on the revolution. I'll lead one of the fucking brigades. Let's go. Let's go. They got us exactly where they want us.

We're all fat and useless and we sit on our computers all day and nobody is doing a revolution and everybody is in debt for the rest of their life yeah well good for you man you'll be on the picket line alone with your vibrant lifestyle uh because everybody else is just too busy uh grinding up fortnight bucks and stuff now nobody Nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to go and hit the picket lines. I've had a number of emails from women this week relating to something that you mentioned on a recent episode. Can you think what it is?

He's back on the dating scene. It's to do with bras. They don't give a shit about your fucking dating adventures. I'm not wearing them. They don't want to date them? Well, listen, they don't, but that's unrelated. I'm going to read some of them to you. I'm going to read some of them.

Okay, hang on. Let me just check what they are, right? Before you read them, let me just guess. It's going to be, bras are uncomfortable. It's going to be, I can do what I want. Why are you trying to silence women's voices, Lewis, here on the Triforce podcast? Can you please let these women speak?

And it's going to be, there's no such thing as a favorite bra to be without mansplaining bras to them can you just shut the fuck up thank you i'm speaking for you here ladies all right this is from beth love the podcast been a silent listener for years but breaking that silence to respond to lewis in answer to his question like going brawlers we're aware and we don't care. Yes, sister. I know you can sometimes see my nipples, and yes, I see when other people not so secretly glance down, but as long as they're not gawking, it doesn't bother me. Enjoyed listening

to Pirian, clearly a man who has listened to his wife complain about braless many times. Respect. Well, listen. Respect to you from Catherine. As somebody... In regards to him not liking women going out braless, fuck off, sir. Yeah, I go braless all the time. As somebody who's developed breasts over the years, and I don't have a bra, and I don't need them. And I think if you don't want to use one, you don't have to either.

I should wear a bra. I have big tits now. But I don't. I'm not going to wear one. So you don't have to wear one either. I've decided. So there you go. Anyway, there were several others about bras as well.

I just thought it's interesting that as soon as I started reading email from women, Lewis was like, yeah, I'll tell them what they already said. Listen, just listen. Are you happy now? Yeah. Well, it's, I guess. I don't mind. You don't want somebody out there just let, just.

I don't, I'm not campaigning for women to wear bras. I'm just saying, do they know? Do they know? Do they know? Do they know what? I guess they do. We can see their nipples. I don't think they give a shit, man. Like, who cares?

It was, you know, if they make it on TV in America, they'll blur them out. Nobody will ever see them. So don't worry about it. All right. No, good. That's fine. Several people have emailed in about your Tinder saying, first of all, try Hinge. I don't know what that is.

Yeah, I'm not on Tinder. I'm on Hinge only at the moment. I might sign up to Tinder. Which one are you using? Hinge. Oh, you are using Hinge. That's the only one I'm using at the moment. People are recommending you use that one, but you're already using it.

There's one called Minj, which is apparently just a sex app oh oh i don't really care for that there isn't but i think there should be oh wow i believed you for a second well there are like a lot of alternative dating sites now that are specific you know to people's tastes so you can get like farmer dating or like um elites elites elite singles right that's what i'd be like a sugar sugar daddy one there's like a couple of i would sign up for that one for sure yeah um yeah as long as they just bring me sugar i'm happy yeah me too that's how it works that's right uh your sugar is ready daddy thank you very much no i'm only using i'm only using hinge but i might try a bumble is the one where the women have to reach

out to you which i quite like because you know it's less work for one thing you just chill and if you get a notification bosh you're away with it so this is a this is an interesting one this is from someone uh called hp they are the house parent at an international boarding school. Right. I basically have to live on the school site, look after the kids, run trips and activities, etc. Some interesting experiences. On my first day, a colleague had to take one kid to hospital because he twisted his testicles so badly he nearly died somehow. Jesus Christ.

What the hell is going on at that boarding school? I don't know we had a 14 year old my kid to a boarding school and the first thing we got back from them was your kid has twisted his testicles so hard he's in the hospital i i would fucking lose it i would be like what have you done to my kid like what have you done yeah i don't know funnily enough if they they reported back and they said he broke his arm or something i'd be like oh shit that sucks i hope he's gonna be okay. But I don't know. How do you fucking mangle your private parts?

I have no idea. Immediately after going to a boarding school. It doesn't make sense. Well, you know, it's obviously getting into Eton. It's just mullicking and fun with the boys. Oh, fuck. It's just, oh, no. Call it a Timippy twister.

Just give him a little twist of his testicles. You know, just one of the boys. We all do it. We had a 14-year-old kid from Saudi Arabia who would just shit himself all the time because he was never taught how to use a toilet or do anything for himself at home. Okay, so in Saudi Arabia, was this the case?

Or, like, he was just shitting all the time? I think it's just... And he's just taking the habit with him? No, no, I think the kids that are being sent to international boarding school are probably extremely wealthy, coming from extremely wealthy families. Who's putting up with that? A kid shitting, like at home? Well, if you don't have to do anything, and you've got servants or whatever,

then it's their problem, not yours. You know, who knows what these kids' family lives are like. That is so fucked up, man. I mean, putting your kid in a boarding school in the first place, I'm totally against it. We had to speak to one kid from Hong Kong about not masturbating while his roommate was in the room. One time my colleague unintentionally walked in on him. Found random stuff doing room checks like dildos fleshlights a caged hamster and a woman hiding in a boy's wardrobe and one french kid had a whole stash

of those bird fat balls that you hang in the garden yeah sue it he would he would snack on them and when they told him he shouldn't be eating them he didn't understand english so they just left him to it that That sounds absolutely horrendous. Those suet bowls. Ne mangez pas les balles, s'il vous plaît. Ne mangez pas les balles. Non, ne mangez pas le balle.

Le balle est pour le bird. Non, ne mangez pas. Non, ne sucez pas les balles. Ne mangez pas. Non. Ne sucez pas les balles. Ne mangez pas les balles. What's he say? Suck.

Ne mangez pas les balles. And he's like, huh? Don't suck or eat those balls. Oiseau. Oiseau, yeah. Oiseau. C'est pour le oiseau. C'est pour le oiseau.

Ce n'est pas pour le pupille. C'est pour le oiseau. Ne sucez pas les balles. Ne mangez pas les balles, non. C'est pour le oiseau. Ne mangez pas les balles. God damn. I love that. The bird balls are so fucking weird. So specific and weird. I know. It has to be true because it's so weird.

I'd never imagine someone would eat them. But if anyone is, it's going to be a Frenchman. Let's put it that way. This is from Simon from Antwerp. Dear Triforce Triumvirate. Love that. I'm writing this in response to a semi-recent request for stories about professions. Simon is an anesthesiologist in Belgium.

Okay. So a synopsis of what we do after you go under for an operation. They administer drugs to take away your consciousness. The first thing they do is make sure that the drugs don't kill you. Then they have to secure your airway because you stopped breathing and they breathe for you. And then they have to make sure you stay asleep by giving you just the right amount and continually giving you just the right amount okay blood pressure your heart rate all this stuff and then um so the surgeon can can do their thing i got a question for you maybe hold on just just one more one more thing um uh a surgeon will take care of your

problem an anesthesiologist will protect you from the surgery i think that's a really nice way of putting it yeah and then i like this line anesthesia is the most life-improving invention in the history of modern medicine in terms of your quality of life undergoing surgery yeah i think that's inarguable i think that's absolutely correct because i know when if i had to go in for an operation and there was no anesthesia i don't know how the fuck people did yeah have you ever been completely knocked up yeah for a surgery? Yeah, I have. Okay. I have, yeah.

You feel like shit when you come around. I didn't. I felt like fucking, like, I felt like just so, I don't know the word, but like, not like shit. Like, I didn't feel like I wasn't vomiting or anything like that. But I just felt so washed out, you know? Yeah. Like, it took forever to pee and stuff you know like your whole body just doesn't want that to happen basically sort of mildly killed yeah for the

duration of the okay but listen i had my gallbladder out years ago yeah yeah i was knocked out for that it's just keyhole surgery but i was completely knocked out for it it only took like an hour or something as far as i know anyway um when i came around it was uh the the surgeon came up and he was like everything's fine we got your gallbladder out here's a vial with all the the shards that we found inside your gallbladder if you want to have a look it's interesting and uh you need to you need to make sure that you get up and start walking around so that everything you know your circulation everything can uh normalize and you need to make sure that you pee as well even though your body will not want you to pee or you it'll take a while for you to be able to pee make sure you pee otherwise uh you know we're gonna have to give you catheter

whatever and uh so i was like, okay, fine. And I was fine with everything. And then a couple of days later, I was, you know, discharged from the hospital. I got home and I felt fine. And then I looked down at my leg and there was a perfectly square patch of hair missing from my inner thigh, like up close to like where my dick and balls are, you know, like fairly close. And I just thought I didn't feel at all weird or violated by,

you know, being under and having surgery and stuff like that until I saw that I was like, what the fuck did they do to me? Like that's nowhere near where they would have been operating. Like what the fuck is that? It must've been for a tube or some shit, but it just felt was weird you know like it's such a i know it's such a yeah they must have shaved it just to put a eject a line i don't know if they were like

pranking me or what but it was weird i don't think they were pranking it was weird to discover that because you know i mentioned they'd shaved like you, look at your ass and it's got like a, there's a fucking swastika shaved or something. Yeah. No, but I just, that for me was the weirdest part of the whole thing. Like everything else, absolutely fine.

You know, I, I can't, I can't say that I was weirded out, but that for me was, I, I kind of realized when I saw that, that literally they could have done anything to me and I would not have known or been able to do a thing about it.

I was completely out, you know. And then I'm just missing like a fucking square of leg hair. Yeah, it's weird. It seems quite innocent. It is. I'm sure it is. But it just made me think, you know, like. Yeah, it's quite frightening.

I mean, you're right. Like, in a sense, I guess whoever said about that anesthesia, you know, it definitely has helped painkillers generally. Yeah. So many people live through a lot of suffering and have a better, oftentimes a better, like, you know, a lot of people, older people have a lot of problems with,

um, pain. Yeah. Oh yeah. And I think that that can really enhance your life. and your, your active years or whatever it is, like they say,

you know, as much as life expectancy is a thing it's the more important thing is you know how long you have quality years you know yeah um because if you're sick or in pain or in a home or whatever those don't really count towards life expectancy no yeah they're not not great unless, I don't know, I feel like, yeah, unless it's really well managed. Yeah. It's going to be rough, yeah. Good letter, thanks P-Flex. Yeah, this is

from Sean. He's a high school science teacher from Ohio. Oh, nice. And they went to a grocery store over there and bought some British foods. This is what they tried. Now, first of all, I would say these are not foods that I would say are the creme de la creme

of British foods. This is the bog-standard shit that really is not indicative. I'll be the judge of that. I've lived in this country for 20 years now. It needs context as well. A lot of these things only work with a cup of tea. Exactly. On a cold afternoon. There you go. First thing on the list

digestive biscuits. Oh man. Digestive biscuits, yeah. All the time, any time. I think they're fine. They're great. You can have them with tea. Iron brew. What did he say about them? He didn't say much about that. Digestives are great.

You can just grab them as you're passing and just have one or two. you know, like they're fine. Yeah. That's nice. Iron brew? Well, I don't drink soda, so I'm not- It's alright. I think it's fine. Yeah, I think-

Uh, Heinz beans. Oh, God, yeah. It's like a staple for us. Yeah, I mean, big fan on potatoe or sweet potatoe. Just like, or on toast. Fucking hell. He said they were tasteless. Like chewing on sand pellets. No idea how anybody Fucking hell. Even on a good piece of toast. Like chewing on sand pellets. No idea how anybody eats them. You were meant to cook them first.

Yeah, you should cook them. I mean, there's a decent amount of sugar in them as well. I don't see how they're... They're pretty sweet and salty by default. They do sort of season them up. They're not that... They do actually have a low sugar and a low salt version here in the UK now. Which is shit.

I buy. Dog shit. But Branston beans are better anyway. a low salt version here in the UK now. Which is shit. I buy. Dog shit. But Branston beans are better anyway. They are. But here's the thing. Get some barbecue sauce and add it at the end. I use Salt Lick Texan barbecue sauce. Add that.

Everyone likes to customize your beans. So you've got to customize it. You've got to mix it up. There are definitely some things you can do to spice up your beans. Honestly, straight out of the tin, though, Heinz beans for me is a winner. I eat them all the time. It's still fine, yeah. On a short. Yeah. Rightz beans for me is a winner. I still is. It's still fine. Yeah.

On a, on a, on a short, on a short. Yeah. Right now here's another, this is very disappointing and I don't even think I would consider this like food. Pot noodle, original curry. Don't don't do pot noodles. All right. They're shit.

They're shit. So many better noodles out there. It's panic food. It's kind of like prison food too. Like they cook them up and you can, you can just all you boil water and add it to the It's panic food It's kind of like prison food too It's very prison food You can just boil water and add it to the noodles and away you go It's not meant to be

The water you've got left over from a jugging you can make I think a pot noodle is just basically what Americans call ramen noodles but in our British expensive version Pot noodle the brand is probably the most accessible. It's cheap.

They're bad, though. We know they're bad. They're not great, yeah. Of course they are. It's literally the cheapest noodles and some salt. Maltesers is the last one. I mean, Maltesers are all right.

They're fucking great, yeah. Maltesers are fine. Give me a box, I'll eat them all. It's not like we're all, what's for dinner tonight, love? Oh, first course, digestives, then Heinz beans heinz beans and then pot noodle with maltesers for dessert and a glass of iron brooder wash it down lovely no it's just maltesers i don't know about you guys but maltesers usually uh present themselves around christmas as like it's like that kind of you're

at your in-laws and there's just a bowl of Maltesers. I think women like them. I think women... Women like them. I know about women, and I think that they like Maltesers more than men. I don't know. I mean, I eat them. Put it out there. I find them...

Women? I hate the term, but I do find them more-ish. Like, I'll fucking eat them. If there's a bowl, like, it's gone. I'll eat all of them. Right. A lot of people recommending I take acid this week. Thanks for your stories. You're going to drop some acid?

No, they were very, it's given me something to think about, but they're very, very long. Right. Yeah. Somebody's written to you to say you should drop acid. About 10 people have. Jesus. And are they re-encount? They're saying it helped with this, it helped with that.

They're giving in a very... By the way, Melissa, sorry I didn't get a chance to read your email out about bra wearing. Oh yeah, shit, we completely derailed that one, sorry. It's a very long email. It involves going naked in a cave as well. So yeah, it goes on quite a bit. Why have we not read that? That sounds great. Maybe next time. Let's save it for next time well i'll try i'll try and save it i'm not sure i could take another podcast of being right well all right let's do this one right come on i i i can't um

let's i'll do this one for melissa and then that's the end. I cannot do another podcast thinking about tits for the whole thing. Okay? I can't. I'm only a man. I'm a human man. I don't have a girlfriend. We'll do one and that's it. And then no more bra chat.

This is a 27-year-old lady living in America. Is only a B cup, so not that well endowed. See, this is exactly the problem with this whole thing I never wear a bra the most I will ever wear

is an undershirt with a built in bra pocket or a loose tank top I will say it's good to hear that there are other sisters out there walking around with their high beams on

in Bristol I stopped wearing bras shortly after meeting my husband in 2015 he prefers a natural look oh I bet he does I can safely say that going brass

is the most comfortable for me. Can't speak from experience for my big boob ladies, but I've heard some women will even wear a bra to bed because otherwise it's uncomfortable. Um, so it's, it's up for you, uh, really what you want to do. And then they, uh, went on a trip naked in a cave. You get onto a cave with a big group of other people. You wear a robe at the start and then you whip it off and you walk around in the cave naked. I don't know why well because it's dark it's it's safe naked you know well well her and her partner believe that it's uh it's good to you know get rid of insecurities around your own body well lewis is insecure about other people's bodies so you know it's uh it's a

strong feeling insecurity so you're hang on this is. So you're fumbling around in pitch darkness to try and go through a cave? Yeah. This doesn't sound... It's cold in caves, isn't it? It is cold. It is cold. And also, this is one I want to save for next week. This is the list of unusual deaths on Wikipedia.

I will give you a taster. Oh, yeah. This is a great article. This is really good. Here's one. Martin of Aragon died from a combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughter according to a tradition martin this is martin of aragon was suffering from indigestion on account of eating an entire goose when his

favorite jester borah entered the king's bedroom when martin asked borah where he had been the jester replied why out of the next vineyard where i saw a young deer hanging by his tail from a tree as if someone had so punished him for stealing figs that joke was so good the king died of laughter that yes a killer line a killer line well we got away the podcast on a laugh yeah if you can contain your laughter folks take that joke and hopefully no one has died that's you know that is a proven deadly weapon. What you just unleashed. Indeed. With no warning as well.

I'm sorry. I apologize. Well, hopefully everyone's still okay. Well, this is a cracker of an article. I'm going to favorite it. So we'll read some of those on another podcast. All right. Thanks, everyone.

It's a good podcast. Good stuff. I think we covered. I think we solved pretty much every problem once again, which is pretty typical of us. We get together. We're problem solvers. We fix everything. These podcasts are so much better than the regular ones.

Yeah, I know. I feel like we make a lot more progress on these ones because we are making the world a better place. I think it's because we're listening to the audience rather than just speculating wildly. And we've also got our own little quips and goofs and gaffs to interject as well, which I think probably makes people feel better. And

tackling the big issues. What we've learned, it's nice to know that mooning is either okay or not. Yeah. The feeling of cold glass up against your cheeks is something you should endeavor to experience at least once showing your dick only works if you've got charisma and and in appropriate circumstances as well which i i gotta say there's very very few if if any but somehow this guy pulled it off I don't know keep your eye out for him yeah keep your eye just watch out for him

yeah and man careful Kyle Walker yeah next time you're at the pub please don't do that don't email him with the time you've whipped it out don't email him from prison no where you're like making a pot noodle with your tiny kettle took your advice

and now I'm in prison alright we'll see you guys next time for more male baggery see you later With your tiny kettle. Took your advice and now I'm in prison. Cheers. We'll see you guys next time for more male baggery. See you later. Bye. Bye.