Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #19: Lewis shouldn't talk about this, does anyway

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

Triforce Mailbag Special 19! Master Swordsman, Circuit-board Engineer and Heart Surgeons join us today to dive deep into a big, blue, bulging mailbag! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

a mailbag it's the mailbag it's the one and only triforce mailbag oh my god another one i can't how many mailbags is like 300 now? I think there's probably been 25. 25? That many? Geez. Although we did just have apparently our 300th Triforce. Yes, I noticed. Seven years of Triforce.

Have we been doing this for seven years? Yeah, dude. Oh my god, man. That's crazy. How do we do it? How do we keep thinking up like amazing things to talk about solving so many problems it's amazing it's because of the mailbag it must be it must be the comment on the reddit i can't but this is the most upvoted comment can't believe it's been 300

years of sips complaining about raising kids period ranting about how dumb people are and lewis making patently false statements and then weaseling out the consequences. Oh, dear. Oh, God. God damn. So true. I'll give you guys, these are the emails that I've selected this week from an overflowing email. A bulging. A bulging bag.

A bulging bag. The bag's been a bulging. Yeah. So I'm going to read as many of these as I can, but let's go. Do you guys want to hear Triforce Duke of Edinburgh funnies, big boobed woman's POV, or Jeremy Corbyn's slapping tit? Oh my God. There's so many, so many different things. This is like a little taste of what's to come. I know.

Yeah. I think we should start at the beginning. Okay. All right. So the Duke of Edinburgh funnies. This doesn't sound great. This guy, remember I talked about how my eldest did Duke of Edinburgh and it was a bad experience for her so

he says he'd pitch in with something funnier. Back in year 10, I did bronze DRB and decided to join a group with the biggest druggies of the school instead of my friends. Suffice to say, I had the funnest weekend ever. Oh my god. My first time doing weed was this weekend when my team member rolled the fattest spliff in the rain in the high weld. I can still remember struggling with map reading whilst

off my nut. Once we reached the campsite, having found the brownies the dealer had freshly baked and hid behind a road sign for us, I spent the night stargazing and devouring all the food in sight. My other teammate decided to do as much ket as possible before k-holing it in the tent filled with his own sick. I don't know what k-holing means. I'm sorry. I think it's like a ketamine prison, you know? Oh, okay. It's like a multiple hour holiday while you're just

Off your tits. See you take a little cat. Are you getting a place? I'm just fucking yeah, they call it the k-hole. Yeah, so either way This guy is saying that The druggist weekend he'd ever spent so nice. Thanks for that Matt I should have told my 14 year old to just do a shitload of ket and weed and she would have had a great time. Yeah. Get your 14 year old on ket as soon as possible.

I think that's got to be the way. She's just in the wrong group, dude. Maybe she's hanging out with the wrong people for sure. I should have said that. Maybe your group just isn't cool. Do some ket. Yeah. This is from.

This is the strangest email I've ever sent. This is in regards to episode 261, where you mentioned women in public without bras. Having had pretty big boobs since adolescence, I thought I'd share my POV. As that woman who sometimes walks down the street braless, size 30G. Please keep Ayn on. All right, so take the name out of there, then. 30G? Yeah, 30G that's oh my god man that's like pillows so you got like huge pillows on your story to be so offensive that's how much cat that guy brought with him on the fucking when i was younger i remember thinking there was no way i'd ever be

able to leave the house without wearing a bra simply because of how big and jiggly my boobs are when walking. Right. I just need to get some air in here for a second. I have a distinct memory of going camping as a young teenager with my family and another family, having to wear a bra the whole time because there were other men around and wishing my boobs were smaller so I'd have the chance of letting my boobs free. Another anecdote, once my boyfriend was driving me home from his place while braless, he stopped at Tesco and I remember thinking I could not step out of the car to go with him in case, God forbid,

anyone noticed the movement of my unrestrained boobies. Honestly, the thought of having to wear a bra whenever I went out in public for my whole life was pretty depressing. Although I have bras that fit comfortably, it's more comfortable to not wear one at all. During COVID, I barely wore a bra for one and a half years and loved it.

I was halfway through the first year of uni when lockdown started, and when I returned for the third year, I'd somewhere developed the courage to venture into the big, wild world without a bra. It's a lot easier in the winter when you can wear a big, thick jumper, as this does a better job at covering things up. Going out in a T-shirt is a whole other challenge. I do get self-conscious, but I remember reading an article

saying that going out without a bra is empowering in a way, because instead of putting the pressure on women to cover themselves up, it puts the pressure on men to not be weirdos. I am very conscious of people looking and literally do not know how to act when I walk past a man on a quiet street, so awkwardly do things like hold my coat in front of me and hide a bit. However, I go out braless anyway

because I like it, and it's in some way empowering even if I do it in a cowardly way. Hope that was interesting and informative. Yeah, in a cowardly way. Fair enough. Good luck with those things. Fair enough. I know this happens sometimes that a woman will get home and immediately the bra is the first thing that comes off

Janine because they hate it. I'm all good with that. You want them to to um free themselves free free their minds and their and their titties as well indeed well it's it's fine that's a great perspective to hear thank you pflex yes thank you thank you so much anonymous as well written in well done anonymous uh this is from slater which is a interesting name my name is slater well he's like ac slater from yeah that's what i was thinking but my name is slater and i'm

from new york from upstate new york right so not really new york let's be honest i was listening to the latest mailbag episode where you guys were talking about accidental groping um years ago when i worked at a bakery i was on the receiving end of a very awkward incident of accidental groping. Years ago, when I worked at a bakery, I was on the receiving end of a very awkward incident of accidental gropage. One of my co-workers was putting frozen bread onto baking trays and had a rack of clean trays behind him, ready to go for whenever he needed another tray. I was in a rush and decided to quickly squeeze between him and the rack of trays. At that very moment, he reached for a new tray without looking behind him. Instead of grabbing a tray, he got a handful of my junk. He then proceeded to give it an extra squeeze in confusion. He then turns, hands still on my junk,

and we stare at each other, faces inches away, in shock for what felt like an eternity. He eventually snapped out of it, quickly pulled his hand away, and I scurried away in embarrassment. From that day on, we never spoke to each other again." Oh my god, that is unfortunate. In that situation I would have completely have been like, oh my god, I'm so sorry I did not mean to do that. Please accept my apology. You know what I mean? To make it not awkward. Right. I wouldn't want an incident like that to cause two people to never speak again. Like that's crazy. I think it's always like when you hear about accidental groping, it seems like it's always

going to be accidental on purpose. Oh, whoops. Yeah. But actually, in this case, just grabbing a guy's balls by accident, which I assume is what it is. I assume this is a guy. Yeah, must be. Yes.

Yes. And I'm just like giving it a little squeeze. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like a cartoon. It doesn't feel right. Yeah. Like someone's reached into. It's almost like a cartoon. It doesn't feel right. Yeah, like someone's reached into something and they can feel a face.

What is this? And they just sort of keep squeezing it. I can imagine the other guy was just on autopilot as well. Because when you're doing those like repetitive tasks, you don't even think what you're doing. I think a lot of stuff is on. A lot of stuff. It's surprising how much of like your muscle memory is autopilot for stuff right yeah um amount of things i automatically do like i don't know yeah all right so here's one for you here's one for you um this

is not an email this is an autopilot thing uh it's just me and the and youngest flax at the moment um because mrs f and the older one are away. So it's been very chill. It's been a really fun couple of weeks because we're very similar and we like a lot of the same things and everything. So it's been really, really cool. You love cat. We both love getting K-holed. Have you guys just been vaping together the whole time?

Just vaping and drinking cider. Playing the notes. Very similar people. Very similar people. Very similar people. She's a Lena Main and she vapes three vials of juice per day. Yeah. Six packs of ciders every night. Yeah.

And then goes in the K-hole for the rest of the evening. Yeah. She's 11. So, yeah. It's high time. Yeah, of course. So, you know, I bugger about brushing her teeth the way you do with kids. She's 11. So yeah, it's high time. Yeah, of course. So I, you know,

I bugger about brushing her teeth the way you do with kids. We had, we had a little trip to the dentist. She had to get a checkup and everything. And the dentist was like, brush your teeth. And she was like, I am.

She was like, well, brush them more, blah, blah, blah. So then we get home and she's on a real teeth, tooth brushing crusade for the next few days,

you know, reminding me as if I don't brush my teeth. And she said, why haven't you brushed your teeth? I said, I did brush my teeth. She said, well, then how come your head wasn't on the electric toothbrush? And I was like, what do you mean? She goes, well, every night, every morning when I come in to brush my teeth, your head is not on the electric toothbrush because we've got a head each. I was like, well, what are you talking about is not on there? And I couldn't tell whether I had forgotten to brush my teeth which I'm pretty sure I hadn't because I never do or I have something where I take the head off the electric

toothbrush and put it back in the pot where we keep them after I brush my teeth I could I could not remember which of those two things it was and the problem is when you're trying to think whether you do something regularly that's almost automatic you can't then repeat it because now you've changed the experiment in your head. So I'm brushing my teeth and I'm thinking, do I take the head off and put it back or do I just leave it on the toothbrush? I can't remember. And when I'd finished brushing, my hand instinctively reached for the head and I was like, ah, that's your answer right there. So if you tune your brain out, you can sort of go back on autopilot. But it's like trying to concentrate on doing something you do naturally anyway.

Like if you really think about walking, it's much harder to walk. Yeah. Anyway, I'm rambling. No, you're not. I've been cleaning my teeth. I've got a water pick now. Oh, yeah. Which I got told to get after i went to the dentist last time because

i've had like i've had like four teeth taken out right yeah yeah i've had i've only got like a small mouth i guess so i thought you're gonna say you've only got two teeth left but yes i've got i've not got that many holy but as a result like i've got like um because i had my wisdom teeth all taken out as well and so there's like some there's a lot of space in my mouth where it's like awkward to clean right uh i don't know why. I think when I was a kid, you know, the people who did the braces on the NHS were a little bit more reckless. Oh yeah. You've got too many teeth. Get these four out. They've got a hundred of those to do that day. Let's get on with it. Yeah. But yeah, like the water pick, it's this super weird, mega dangerous machine that feels like you're shooting yourself

with laser beams yeah we've got one because my eldest has braces and they're very important for cleaning behind the braces and stuff oh god yeah yeah those things are they look like a real piece of machinery let me tell you something it looks like the kind of thing i'm kind of surprised we're allowed to own them at home do you know what i mean it's like one of those things we think is that safe like electric mixers like you know a blender yeah kind of those things where you think, is that safe? Like electric mixers, like, you know, a blender. Yeah. You kind of look at it and you think, geez, these things look like terrible, like really horrifying. But they're safe, of course.

And I've got this old Instant Pot, this Instant Pressure Cooker. Yes. I am terrified of that thing blowing up. I mean, they make bombs out of those things, right? Yes, they literally do. So, yeah, we have a pressure cooker and every time when it's finished it like you started going it lets this hiss out and you have this sort of thing starts jiggling on top and all this unbelievable pressure building up and i just think if this thing goes it's going to take us all with it like and we're all going to be covered in

metal and bits of curry it's gonna it's pretty terrifying anyway it is these kitchen appliances man they're frightening this is uh this is from this is from amy this is a good one um i hope this is true uh i really do but this is from amy she's uh 21 from darby been watching you guys since i was 11 well fair enough but okay that's my daughter's age you're a bit too little for some of these things amy uh and your voices and faces are unfortunately engraved in my brain forever oh Oh, okay. In the recent mailbag, you got a message from a guy saying he thinks he could land a plane in an emergency. Yes. And it reminded me of this amazing r slash am I the arsehole post.

So this is a funny one. Am I the arsehole for asking my wife to respect my title as a pilot? This is incredible. I don't know if this is true. This feels like a joke, but it's very funny anyway. Right. I need the opinions of AV geeks and pilots on a matter involving my wife. I am completely serious and I need help.

That was in all caps. My wife and I, together for five years, married for two, no kids, have an amazing, happy relationship. Right. I can't recall a single time we've ever argued to the point of a breakup or divorce. Well, yeah, because you're still married, dude. This issue, however, is causing me to reconsider the health of a breakup or divorce. Well, yeah, because he's still married, dude. This issue, however, is causing me to reconsider the health of our relationship.

Since my wife and I have been together, I've worked as a manager for a restaurant chain. I'm an extremely passionate aviation enthusiast. So not a pilot. A restaurant man. Does this guy have a cockpit in his basement where he plays flight simulator and stuff? Is he one of these guys?

Dresses up like a pilot? Wait for it. In my free time. I've spent thousands of dollars his basement where he plays flight simulator and stuff? Is he one of these guys? Dresses up like a pilot? I guess we're gonna find out. Wait for it. Okay. In my free time, I spent thousands of dollars on flight textbooks, sim gear, and even built my own A330 setup. I fucking knew it, man. I knew this was heading there. I have never actually flown a plane or started flight training, but I have considered it for a long time. Even though my skills are not a career, I still consider myself as adept or possibly more knowledgeable than the average pilot.

That being said, here's where the problem arises. My wife and I were invited to one of her male co-workers' house for a barbecue. My wife is a senior software tech for a COVID startup. She's worked there since 2020, a lucky catch after she was laid off from her previous job due to the virus. It was my first time meeting many of her now close co-workers due to COVID and working from home. I'd assumed she'd talked about me before, but as we were cycling through introductions, I became less sure. We make our way down the line to the host of the party, a new male hire that she has grown platonically close with. We exchange casual conversation with Greg, host, asked what I do for a living.

My wife chimes in with, he manages a fast food chain. It certainly comes with some benefits. I'm assuming she's referring to free food. In a voice that implied nothing was wrong with what she said. I very quickly corrected her and told him that I am a pilot.

My wife already knows how insecure I am about my job and how I'd much rather be introduced by my hobby. I've earned the title of pilot through my 500 plus hours on my sim and thousands of dollars put into my craft. I think it is incredibly disrespectful of her not to acknowledge my skills and training. Just because I don't have the title of pilot on an overpriced piece of paper doesn't mean I'm not a pilot. I laughed it off with Greg, told him under my breath that my wife was often forgetful, which I'm sure he's realized just from working with her. He seemed to brush it off casually. At this point I'm fuming, but I don't go much further than exchanging some nasty glances with my wife for the rest of the night. As we back into the car to leave, the

argument starts. She feels as if I don't deserve my title as a pilot because I'm not professional. I told her she's completely insensitive to the work I've done and she will never understand what it's like to study so much. She's currently on the couch as I type this. Am I the arsehole? I don't know if you're an arsehole, but I think you're channeling some major george costanza energy in your in your real life

in not a good way as well i mean that is yeah it's worrying that you've convinced yourself that you're an actual pilot so i play surgeon simulator all the time but i know that i'm not an actual surgeon it's it's completely different no no no funnily enough i would not trust myself to do brain surgery no uh after playing my factorio experience does not make me a circuit board engineer it doesn't no i don't believe oh fuck you period period is not a professional warrior I feel like he is though I feel like maybe Hi I'm Ace Pyrriflax

I'm a swords master I'm a master at the I'm a master at the nunchucks because of all the Ninja Turtle games I've played I've mastered the arts of fire lightning and I'm a wizard I would mastered the arts of fire, lightning,

and ice magic. Yes, I am a wizard. I would thank you to introduce me as a wizard. I don't know. I wouldn't say that he's an asshole, though. I'd say he's a silly man-child who has basically the outlook and maybe

capacity of a five-year-old, but he's not an asshole. He's not an asshole. He's not an asshole. I think that's pretty harmless as well, but he's really delusional. Imagine like you were a guy and you had a professional job as a bin man, right? Right.

You'd also been to prison for murder. Right. Jesus. Also, you love to carve wooden stuff. So basically, you've lived quite the life. And you sold them on Etsy. So you carve little wooden things on Etsy. Are you a woodworker? Are you a murderer?

Or are you a bin man? I would say you're a murderous woodcarver who knows how to take out the trash. I would say that you're just a fairly interesting sociopath. I think sociopath is actually the better blanket term for that and i would like you to to introduce me as such i have earned the title of psycho please oh goodness stop get in the car we're going home yeah yeah all right this is uh this thanks for

the email that was a great one that was a crack that was funny uh all right this uh, this is another one. Thanks for the email. That was a great one, by the way. Yeah, that was a cracker. That was funny. Uh, all right. This is, uh, this is from Tom. Uh, this is titled Yorkshire Coal Mining. Uh, here are some coal mining stories for you. My grandfather, uncle, and father worked in the pits, all of them at the Kellingley Colliery. They call it Big K. The mine was the last deep coal mine in the UK. That's what your daughter was doing on Duke of Edinburgh. Yeah, that's it.

Uh, the mine was the last deep coal mine in the UK, and its closure marked the end of pit mining in the UK. It's memorialised in a BBC documentary called The Last Miners. Anyway, a couple of anecdotes. Like many miners, my grandfather was very fond of animals and kept a few exotic ones as a sort of pit mascot, e.g. turtles and parrots. The house also had dozens of canaries for obvious reasons.

However, my grandfather was most fond of the pit ponies. The ponies had dozens of canaries for obvious reasons. However, my grandfather was most fond of the pit ponies. The ponies would be stabled underground and would only come up once a year during the miners' annual leave. My grandfather would describe them as coming up to the surface with their skin as black as night from the coal dust. They would light up at the sight of the sky and would for a few hours be allowed to roam free and play together. Sadly, most ponies would only last a few years in the pits, but the miners were very fond of them. I imagine they saw them somewhat as their equal, toiling together. If the ponies survived

until older age, they would be retired and the miners would adopt them. My grandfather kept a few in the garden and would eventually buy a field for them all. One last little oddity, miners would receive a coal pension. Every month, a coal van would come along to the house and drop off huge sacks of coal into the coal shed. My granddad would keep a very hot house as he said he'd earn every ounce of heat.

Cheers, Tom. Nice email. Nice email. I do feel really bad for the ponies. God, yeah. Having to fucking toil down there. But equally, I feel there's a lot of romance around miners and mining, I think, because everybody knows that it's a ridiculously unpleasant job and

dangerous hard work. Especially, I mean, nowadays, of course, everybody's against coal mining because it's incredibly polluting and it's not good to burn coal, like just chucking carbon dioxide and contaminants up into the atmosphere and all the rest of it. But these guys were the source of power for a very long time. Miners were literally the people that kept the country running when we were just coal-powered everything and everybody needed to heat their homes and all the rest of it.

I think that they're romanticised for quite a good reason. But maybe it's time to move on from the romanticised view and say, yes, you did great things in your time. People needed you and we didn't know that it was polluting all the rest of it but let's move on that's my opinion god yeah it's uh it's tough isn't it coal is still this thing which i think in the uk we haven't used it for a long time i think we i think you'd be surprised i think it's still used quite a bit i think there's still a few days well there was a time when we went like a whole year, I think, in the UK without burning any coal.

But it's used as almost like a backup, I think, now, rather than a main source of energy. Yeah. However, still across the world, they're still burning a shitload of coal. Yeah. It's crazy, really. It seems such an inefficient source of... Well, not everybody can get to the tier 5 tech required for upgrades, you know? Right, no, you're right.

So, it's, you know, it's fine to live somewhere where, you know, yeah, we're at tier 8 and we've been there for a long time, but some people just aren't there yet, you know? Yeah, it's like Tarkov, it's locked behind a quest, you know, you've got to unlock power. That's right, yeah. You've got to do a bunch of light-keeper quests. Anyway, this is from Lewis. Not that one. A different one. Oh, wow. There's more.

Spelled the same? A question for the crew. This is a short one. Throughout your life, do you reckon you've had more pints or more wanks? And do you reckon this number has changed over your lifetime? Very good question, Lewis. Right. So you get like

a little head start on the wanks before you hit 18 exactly yeah i was definitely jerking off long before i started drinking oh for sure i started drinking at 16 at the local yeah of course most people in the uk do start drinking but i i don't drink that much anymore i went through a period of my life where i drank a lot but i don't think even that anymore. I went through a period in my life where I drank a lot, but I don't think even that period where I was drinking a lot would have caught up with the amount of times I've pulled my pin, which is still a habit to this day. That persists.

It's just a great habit. It's a fantastic hobby and habit and a great pastime and um yeah i would say definitely i've uh i've i've done that way more than had had pints i'm i'm i'm not sure in all honesty yeah well you might have you do drink still i do drink so i think i'm gonna have to say we're probably running pretty close yeah Yeah. Yeah. I might even have to say more drinks. I only really drink if I go out, you know, if I'm away. Like if I go to an event or if I visit Bristol or something like that, I'll have a couple of drinks. But I don't drink at home.

But let's say if I do. So if I go, when I go to Bristol, we go to the pub like pretty much every evening. Yeah. And over the course of that evening, I'm probably having seven pints or something like that right six seven maybe eight pints if the night goes on later maybe more 11 12 um i mean i i think generally eight or nine pints would be about my limit right but if it's a lot if we go out and we we get a lock-in and stuff i think if i had eight or nine pints i'd be be hospitalized. But he's spread over like that many hours. I'd be in the hospital after about like six, I think.

I'd be done. I think if you slam in them, yes. Yeah. You know, if we're there till four in the morning or whatever drinking, it's kind of a steady buzz rather than getting to the point where your body is like overwhelmed. But that alone is going to make us a lot of wacks. The amount of liquid I find overwhelming as well. Like I would just be- You've got to pee. You urinate. Well, I'd be constantly though. liquid I find overwhelming as well. Like, I would just be- You've got to pee.

You urinate. Well, I'd be constantly, though. It would just be the worst. But bear in mind, though, like, as you do get older, I guess you wank less for various reasons, right? One is that you have a wife. Two is that, you know, maybe you're not as horny as you were when you were a teenager. No, granted, yeah. I think you're building up this period at the beginning where your wanks are ahead but

then i assume as you get older and older the pints just gradually creep up right it's funny to think how horny you were as a teenager oh my god it's insane to think hey like how just how horny one person could be um i guess it was just all the changes and stuff at the time. It's weird though, isn't it? It was all those braless women, I suppose. Yeah. It's all the jiggle physics IRL that did it for me. I don't know what to talk about this, but I'm going to. Okay. Always a good start. So, this was like a few weeks ago now, but... Oh my God, it's a recent one that he's not sure you should tell

anybody about i'm i'm i think i'm i'm nearly 40 right but i'm still a horny guy right right um so i was meeting up with this this person but i i was i was um i was like pretty i was pretty sure it was like a sure thing okay right the confidence of this man is just amazing i don't know why i'm telling you this now i don't know did you turn up to the date wearing three condoms like you one one on each hand and one on his head okay there's a thing where if you've been single for a while you know you get used to getting off in a certain way okay and right And right. You know, I was worried that I was going to have a problem with like, um,

not, not, not being able to like get off from sex. Absolutely. Right. Yeah. Because you've been jacking off to clown porn for so long. Yes.

I can see this, how this would be a problem. Yeah. Hang on, baby. I just got to put the circus music on. Put these big shoes on. Put this big funny nose and these shoes

on and try to get out of a small car. Honk this horn. Honk this horn to the beat if you don't mind. Oh my god. Throw confetti on me from a bucket and I'll go, oh, it's water. It's not water, it's confetti. And then that'll be the moment. So for the week before,

I hadn't done any wanking. Right. Building up to the moment. Were you intending to launch her into outer space? Was this... Was it like a training montage in Rocky, but instead of him doing exercises just you not looking at

the board and really focusing. He's reading books. Taking cold showers and cold showers anyway so so what happened was we were on this we had a nice day blah blah blah and i started getting like this these these like this pain in my in my balls right yeah and i was like oh what's this and it started getting worse and worse until i was like like basically like feeling sick right and it'd kind of be coming for a few days but i'd like felt it and i'd noticed it and i was like that's a bit weird um and so i was like what's going on i didn't know whether like i'd um like i had like testicular torsion or something or i'd like injured myself somehow so i was like going into my head i was

like what's going on anyway um it got really bad and i was feeling really sick and i had like ice on my balls jesus christ she's next morning i went to the fully put like an ice pack on your balls yeah yeah yeah this is like a vasectomy but yeah i know it was like it was like bad flax probably didn't even put ice on his balls after his position oh i did baby let me tell you something so i went to the um went to this doctor because i i didn't really actually go to doctor i put in like because my doctor said you can't just ring up and get an appointment

you have to put in like a triage form and I just wrote in in the morning at like 10 o'clock I was like my balls hurt and Jeremy

Get this man to hospital I don't know what's wrong and anyway within an hour the doctor was like come in I want to feel your balls so I was like

okay so I came straight in Jeremy No not with my hands. I want to use my ass cheeks to fill your balls. You know what to do, young man. Oh, no, it's dressed like a clown day at the doctor's. And so we had a chat for a while and he felt my balls and stuff.

And then he was an additional thing that I was quite worried about my balls. had shaved my balls just just to see if i could feel anything weird going on down there so it was even worse like okay anyway there's this whole thing anyway afterwards he explained to me that i had had i heard of um like it's called like epididymal hypertension right um which is some high blue balls it's literally a thing. Now, I thought I didn't know that it was a thing. I didn't know this was a. I Googled, like, what's wrong with my balls. And this weirdly blue balls hadn't come up.

Hadn't come up. Hadn't come up any more than your balls had. It couldn't come up. But my balls had come up. Right. Oh, no. So he, like, trying to explain to me what blue balls is. And I was, like, so fucking embarrassed. Did you ever get to a point where you're like, you're just describing Blue Balls

here? Yes. Right. That's what it was. He sounded like some 1950s doctor. You just go out and get laid. Sounds to me like you want to get laid. That's what happened.

But the thing is, it was the Blue Balls themselves that stopped me getting laid. Right. Yes. Gosh. Not helpful evolution. It's not thing is it was the blue balls themselves that stopped me getting laid right i mean yes gosh not helpful evolution it's not is it um just yeah like so i was i was at once both immensely relieved but also immensely embarrassed right yeah no i got to the i'd got to this point where i was in a doctor's surgery my pants down he's telling me that i've got blue balls sounds likeesus christ sounds like a come on sounds like somebody needs to have sex as soon as possible with me right now yeah all right well honestly i hope you found some just a little window into my fucking embarrassing life your

life is bizarre so you so you, so the TLDR of that whole thing was, you didn't jack off for a week and you gave yourself blue balls. I didn't realise it was a medical condition. Merry Christmas, everybody. This is an email here. Hiya, gents. The topic of swimming pools came up in mailbag

number 17, dated 26th of July 2023. Right. And Pyrium brought up the ungodly amount of work that pools require. I spent years working in a sweltering Mediterranean country, cleaning and maintaining pools in my later teens. And it is honestly an ungodly ball ache, much like Lewis's problem. Spending hours sitting by a pool with buckets of chlorides and bisulfate powders, trying to balance the pH levels, replacing motors and automatic pool cover mechanisms,

cleaning out crud, scrubbing the pool floor in emptied or filled pools, and so on. The worst part, in my opinion, though, was always the filters. Most in-ground pools have filters connected to them that the water runs through. Loose floating detritus will be collected in a water permeable basket or tray, and then the water will recirculate. It's also often the only opening in the walls of the pool for critters that manage to fall in so it's unusual it's usually where they end up i've lifted pool filter covers and had to deal with mice hedgehogs insect nests live snakes footlong centipedes wolf and huntsman spiders and at least once whole families of rats and people obviously haven't lifted the cover

in months. Holy shit. I'll spare you any gorier details, but Jesus H. Christ on a bike, it got real gnarly. Thank you very much

for that email. That is disgusting. I thought it would just be mosquitoes, but yeah, like that is, is he in Australia? Where's this?

He said Mediterranean country, so no. Mediterranean, okay. That is gross. That is gross. Yeah, don't, it's not nice, Australia? Where's this? He said Mediterranean countries, so no. Mediterranean? Okay, ooh. Jesus. That is gross. That is gross. Yeah, don't... It's not nice

being a... All the chemicals with the pool and, like, just... Dealing with the Karens who own the pools. Yeah. It's gotta be a nightmare, right? Anything where you have to deal with someone who owns a pool. I would just rather go to someone else's pool. Yeah, but they might have rats and centipedes in their pool. No, they won't. Not if they charge you money to use the pool. I would just rather go to someone else's pool. Yeah, but they might have rats and centipedes in their pool.

No, they won't. Not if they charge you money to use the pool. There's no way. True. Because you can complain and get your money back, right? Nobody wants to give you your money back. That's true. So they'll keep that filter clean.

Oh, dear. Here's one. This is from Anaban. Big fan and a regular listener from India. Would love for Flax to attempt the accent, but he probably shouldn't. No, I don't want to get cancelled. No, I would not attempt that one. Thank you very much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. On to the topic at hand. This harks back to Flax's review of Kong versus Godzilla, where I brought up a very valid point regarding the logic behind rebuilding cities again and again when there's the ever-present threat of Godzilla, King Kong, or any other kaiju, just leveling it in an afternoon. From what I know, the only piece of popular media that addresses this is the Neon Genesis Evangelion yawn, where Tokyo 3 has enormous skyscrapers that retract underground mechanically

when attacked by these big monsters, and can be brought back to the surface when the danger is averted. So his question is that obviously I am a uh weeb hater and yet uh hideyako ano came up with this here's the thing i think japan is obviously very very used to earthquakes and having cities leveled by earthquakes of course they also oppenheimer is out you know any history buffs out there may remember that Japan was the only country that's been nuclear bombed. So the whole things getting leveled is big in their minds. So

it makes sense to me that they would come up with anti-kaiju measures like retracting buildings to the ground and stuff like that, because that's their reality. And I, you know, they've been dealing with horrible things coming out of the ocean and destroying their cities for so long of course they'd come up with that but the modern modern kong and godzilla movies have not have not covered this at all yeah i mean absolutely godzilla had didn't he have like a nuclear breath or whatever um yeah he like he goes like he is like he is just a big metaphor for, you know, nuclear bomb attacks kind of thing. You'd think so.

Yeah, I think so. I don't think anything like that is practical outside of sci-fi. I mean, basically you're just saying these buildings come out of the ground at probably a great deal of expense and energy cost, so people can get a bit of sunlight. It's not like they just build them underground in the first place. You don't live underground. They retract underground when the kaiju turns up.

There's fucking kaijus coming all the time. I'd fucking live underground. What are you talking about? I'd be like paying for that safety in the bunkers. What a world it would be. It would suck. It would absolutely suck. What, living underground?

No, I was thinking about the kaijus oh the kaijus yeah i thought that would kind of suck as well yeah what's uh was kaijus that were you guys would be dead you would have you've been recruited to some front line tank regiment what was that movie that had the minute was it um it's like pacific it was a pacific still holds up honestly honestly, Pacific Rim. No, it doesn't. It's good. I watched it on a plane one time, and I don't remember much of it, to be honest.

I just remember... I liked it. You know what a great film I watched... Yeah, it is a funny word. The film I watched the other day, one of my favorites of late, Mad Max Fury Road. Great movie. Oh, that's a great movie. There was meant to be two more wasn't that i

think obviously that he's not a fast worker right um i mean the the gap between the previous mad max movie and fury road was like 20 years or something like that so right i don't you know i don't mind i can wait um right strike and if george miller yeah the writer's strike might have eaten into the time i don't know but if you watch it again i watched it the other night some of the detail in those shots you're looking at one like there's the action sequence towards the end is like everything is told in three second shots maximum sometimes it's like half a second sometimes it's just a fraction of a second but you can follow it's so well storyboarded that you can follow every moment of action it's just continual and it's just so exciting uh to see but in the back there'll be something happening in the foreground in the

background there's like 20 mad max vehicles smoke pouring off them explosions it's incredible i think it's one of my favorite movies yeah it's absolutely amazing i'm actually building a little um you know the the rock the musical the musical van wherever oh yeah with all the horns it's like a dr seuss uh thing and he blasts fire out of his guitar yeah that's building one of them for out of like um for a gaslands because it's like a little miniatures game gaslands gaslands where you yeah yeah the lads are all over these little tomy cars not tomy like little hot wheels it makes uh it makes me think of um i went to go see Oppenheimer, and one of the trailers before the movie started was for the second Dune movie.

Oh, yeah. I haven't seen the first one. I don't know if it's any good or what. But maybe I should watch it ahead of the second one coming out. I think you absolutely should. It's worth watching the first one. I loved the book, and then I saw the David Lynch movie and I loved it. And for its time, there was, like I've said before, I'm pretty sure there were very few good sci-fi movies around.

This is not like a good movie. No. It's a cult classic. Yes. And I really do love it. Because it's based on books, right? There was the book. It's based on the first one. That movie. And then they had the RTS game that came out around

That same same yeah or so Yeah, it I mean the actual the the new one the veal nerve June is it's really really good like yeah I mean like I think I said before this it's it's a film set in a dusty place and mrs. F Liked it she normally hates film set in the desert she can't stand it too dusty she says right okay but she liked dune she loved you loved it do you know i recommend it i say june i say june americans say dune dune but i say i say june me sorry uh here's one from uh okay sorry please don't share my name and keep this anonymous. Take out that name. I am a young female medical student in the US.

In the US, medical students have to complete OS... Wait, like real medical student? Or is this a simulator time plot? No, she is an actual medical student. 500 hours in surges. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. Medical students have to complete OSCEs, which are fake clinical encounters

where standardized patient actors are brought in and paid, and you're watched on camera by professors who grade your ability to complete a brief office visit without injuring anyone or acting like a freak. In my second year, we had to learn the pelvic exam for both men and women. For men, this included an examination of the penis and testicles, as well as a digital rectal exam. My OSCE day comes and I enter the room and meet the patient,

who is a man probably in his early 70s. We do the genital exam without issue, then I have him bend over the table for the digital rectal exam. His butt cheeks to the wind, I put some lube on my gloved finger and brace myself. I spread the man's cheeks and poke my finger where I estimate the butthole to be. Just one problem, it ain't there. I start panicking and slide up and down, desperately hoping to find an anus, but I simply cannot figure out where his is. At some point I realise that I've been slip sliding in this man's arse crack for far too long and I have to cut my losses. Unwilling to fail the OSCE however, I stand up straight, look this man dead in the eyes, a man who knows I most certainly did not just have a finger in his ass,

and say, yep, everything feels normal. We stare at each other for a while, but mercifully, he says nothing. I did pass the encounter, as the camera could not see whether I actually found the butthole, but I will forever feel the humiliation. Nice. Oh, shit. So he had blue balls it turns out as well

Yeah yeah Didn't have a butthole Sorry sir you have no butthole It's gonna come out in like 10 years A doctor with rectal phobia Was unable to perform Rectal examinations properly And lied about the results

Lied Oh man that's hilarious I like that one examinations properly and lied about the results. Lied? Yeah. Oh, man. That's hilarious. I like that one. This is another I could land a plane email. You dismissed a viewer claiming to be able to land due to his Star Wars Rogue Squadron experience, which I fully understand.

However, I'm glad we agree on that one. However, I'd love to game tie fighter. Let me tell you. Oh my God. I'd like to claim that while the chance of success is low, it is possible to land a plane as a random guy in this situation,

depending on the plane type, the situation and your actions. Well, fucking obvious. Sure. Okay. If you manage to talk to a controller or another plane with the radio which you have to figure out first to be fair and inform them of your quagmire the controllers will be able to get a flying instructor for their aircraft on the line there are real word examples of this happening the second thing you'll need in your favor is that the plane's autopilot is active and you have it take over otherwise you're probably toast if you have no idea how a plane works. If it is on, the instructor on the radio can give you exact instructions on how to program the autopilot to land the plane.

And thanks to the autopilot being on and fuel reserves, blah, blah, blah, you'll be fine. A modern jetliner would be able to land automatically unless the weather gets really bad. So I do think there's a decent chance you'll on a plane what caveats in this Where yeah, it's possible But it's the chances are very slim and they depend on you know this that and the other to all be true And yeah, I mean, it's like anything It's like can I defuse a bomb if I've got the fucking bomb guy on the phone and like you've got pictures of it It's and it's a waxing moon and there's no wind that day and you know it's like all this stuff exactly i get it like technically yeah you

can do it i'll admit that but thank you for that pedantic email yeah it's really pointless it's not it's not it's not a waste of time everybody is going to do like uh like you know it's it's going to happen once in a blue moon and and when it does happen they're lucky that it all went their way yeah we appreciate you thank you for your moment yeah thank you this is this is an interesting one uh can we help settle an argument between uh them and their friends which is more degenerate owning a fleshlight or subscribing to someone's only fans i claim fleshlights are a superior different experience unachievable via regular wank and are thus worth paying for whereas with

only fans you'd only be paying for content you can already get for free my friends disagree and are wrong right i don't know honestly i i can't i couldn't tell you which is more degenerate i i've never owned or used a fleshlight and i've never used only fans i've never been on it or i know of it obviously but i don't you know what i mean i would never pay for that i would never seek that out so i don't know i guess both things are equally i would say i don't think either of them are degenerate i think it's just it is yeah well i mean i yeah it's it's not it's not something i do but i mean i don't care if somebody uses a flesh i don't think either of them are degenerate. I think it's just, it is what it is. Yeah. Well, I mean, I, yeah, it's, it's not, it's not something I do, but I mean, I don't care if somebody uses a fleshlight.

I don't care if somebody uses OnlyFans responsibly either, you know, it's, I don't, yeah, I agree. I don't think they're, I don't think they're, they're, they're very degenerate in the, in the first place. Yeah. Also, I'd like to point out that Jack says, uh, thanks, love the podcast. And then I do not have a fleshlight sign off at the end there just obviously i would have assumed that you did you apparently claim they are superior you must have used one what do you think okay what about a what about a fleshlight versus like a uh

like a like a a big sex doll you know the one like you know those sex dolls that are like not not the comical ones that from fools and horses that are filled with propane you know the one like you know those sex dolls that are like not not the comical ones that from fools and horses that are filled with propane you know like uh like those ones that look fucking creepy as hell and they they almost look like anime yeah real dolls yeah you have to warm them up in the bath so they feel like they're a living thing rather than okay body that i think that's more of a question which do you think is more... Those are definitely fucked up. Yeah, they seem kind of fucked up to me.

I don't know. I think in a sense, like the more prep you have to put into it. Mine's warming up right now, as a matter of fact. It's more of a hobby. I'm an expert. I really wish you would. I've never had sex. I just ran a bath for Coco before we started the podcast.

I've never had sex, but I've had over 500 hours of sex with my real doll. So I'll thank you to not call me a virgin. I think I've got the experience. This is my husband. He's a carpenter. Correction, I'm a sex master. Actually, that's my full-time job. I've mastered sex.

I'm a sex master. Never had any complaints from candy anyway holy shit all right here's one um this is from sean just wondering if we have any interesting stories about our times uh at university he's a 20 year old uni uh uni student currently studying acting in Edinburgh, been listening for a few years. And when he's closing up the store of McDonald's, which is what he does to support his student life, just wanted to know, you know, which of us went to university? Did we stay in student halls? Any funny and drunken moments, et cetera?

Yeah, all sorts. Some I remember, some are vague. It's like so much happens. Well, I feel like so much happens in those years you're you're out socializing a lot you're you're out drinking and doing stuff and it's uh it's it's a weird time because you have these these long periods of downtime where you're resting and recuperating and not doing anything because you don't have anything to do other than go to school and study and stuff and then you'll have these uh really exciting moments of going out and doing a bunch of stuff and being with a lot of people but some things i remember and some things

i just don't really remember like a lot a lot of stuff just sort of blends together at like as the years pass by you know i can't think there think, there's not, like, there's nothing, like, spectacular that really stands out. I just look back on it as, like, a fun time, but it's not, like, a life that I currently live. God, I've already told enough pretty stories today about myself. I don't think I can tell more from fucking my i don't have i don't think i have any days yeah yeah i don't have like i don't have any like incredibly awkward stories from that time or anything like overly cringe or whatever i mean i've tried to forget them yeah well yeah maybe but but i don't know i think i think i think like uh it was one of those things i think i just sort of you know sailed through it or or whatever

you know it's just just had just had fun yeah Just knuckled down and had a lot of fun. I hardly did any work. Uh, I really regretted the course I'd taken. I did computing. I hated it. Um, it was very boring. Didn't really make friends with, with anybody on the course. I went to university with a couple of my mates from Bournemouth and Mrs.

F um, and the other lads in the house we got along with really well. So we kind of were very insular in the final year I think we went into we went out probably at less times than less than 10 times because it was just me and my two mates from Bournemouth and we basically just stayed and

drank little lager and watched football on telly and terrible game shows we literally k-holed it it was really shit. It was shit. I hated university. But like I said, if you went to a good uni, I was in fucking Plymouth, which is a dump. No offence to any janners listening to this, but this was

in the 90s. It was not good. And the uni was shit, but it was free. Didn't have to pay for uni back then. So yeah, can't complain. And I wish I'd done something I was interested in. I think this resonates with me too, and so many other people, I'm sure, because um so yeah i can't complain and uh i wish i'd done something i was interested in that was your your i think this resonates with me too and so many other people i'm sure because you know it's

i i i look back on school i don't i don't love it we're talking about this the other day like if you'd go would you go to a school reunion and i was like probably not no i don't probably would yeah i would be interested to see where people ended up and stuff. Yeah. I mean, we used to have one at new years. There was a pub in, in Bournemouth town center called the moon and the square. I'm sure everybody that lives in Bournemouth knows. I don't know if it's still there and everyone will come back for Christmas. Cause we were still at that point. We didn't have kids and we weren't married and all of that. So people would just go to Bournemouth and you'd see all guys that you knew from school there. That was just the place we went and you bump into people you hadn't seen since school days and be like wow this guy's like really completely changed they're like completely together they're decent people because they're

not kids anymore kids are fucking idiots so honestly you you meet people when they're grown-ups and sometimes it's really interesting you bump you know they've got this whole life story and they'll remember things that you've forgotten about school which is always interesting to me when people remind you of something that you did yeah you remind them of did you remember the time like oh god i've forgotten about that it's it's really interesting so i think it's like fills in the gaps in your life connecting with your past so i mean going back to a school reunion for bournemouth school i would go in a heartbeat just to see where half of them ended up yeah but it'd be really interesting. The really interesting ones are the people that, you know, like you'll, I'd say probably

like 80% of the people that you'd see at a reunion would be much the same, right? Like probably not doing the exact same things, but like still personality wise, all that, like more or less the same, right? Except they're adults now instead of teenagers or whatever exactly um but there there are outliers to that too because i know a couple of people that i went to school with who at school they were completely different to what they turned into as adults sort of thing right like oh yeah the contrast of somebody being like uh what we would have called a jock um right somebody who was like you know the the captain of the hockey team and had like

you know like tons of hot girlfriends and was like uh you know like a real a guy's guy sort of thing to then sort of transition into basically a hippie like but big time like uh you know like all this the social media is just plastered with like fucking spiritual like motivational quotes and stuff like that it's just i guess it is yeah but it is that i don't know many people that have had that complete you know change or makeover from you know like most people were sort of locked in at high school. Yeah. You know, like most of my friends that I'm still in touch with from high school are much the same, you know, they just have more responsibility now, but they're just, yeah, the same people,

you know, and we talk about like stuff we used to do and sometimes we still do bits and pieces of the stuff that we used to do if we meet up or whatever um but yeah it's the people that that change drastically that are that are the interesting ones right but there's not that many of them i don't think yeah maybe a handful i always i think at a school reunion i'm just scared that the only people who turn up are the people who want to show off their success well i think that's the whole point of it basically is for people to turn up and be like oh look what I look what I did you know you bullied me all throughout school and now look at me I'm rich whatever you know which is kind of funny it's fine do you know we are people there who would genuinely had a good time school and they want to see everyone all they're still mates

with everyone and so you know like if there's like a group of mates who have still been mates from school, they're the kind of little clique of five people who might go. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Together. Yeah. It's just, it fills me with dread. The idea, honestly.

Well, this is a, I got another email here. This is a good one. I'm Vic and I'm 24 and I'm a single woman. All caps. Right. I'm loving hearing about lewis's dating app struggles because i completely feel what he's going through though i'm no googleable internet celebrity i wanted to mention one of my prompts on a dating app and ask how you all would answer

as well as tell you what it's most commonly answered by men ages 24 to 35 this is from her experience the prompt is the one thing i'd love to know about you is and I said your favorite movies if you had to pick four What would they be? No, I chose I chose four because I am obsessed with the letterboxd app Well, I've not heard of it. She allows you to rate and log movies on your profile and you can display favorite movies So if a guy points that out, they're already ahead, please answer for the class So we'll answer this in a sec. Most of the responses I get This answer first and then

we'll see what the response is okay all right all right all right your top four my answer is i'm not answering that it's too much effort to write that it's too long right i'm not spending like two minutes replying to a prompt on a fucking dating app sorry however hot you are it's not worth it and if i do reply okay this is this is mind games it shows i'm too interested because i've put like two or three minutes into your profile like to answer this question in a really deep way i i i i don't think that's the right way to do these things right like there's thousands of people on these apps and i don't i don't i don't i know i 99% chance you're not going to reply regardless what i write right write, right? So, I'm not replying to that prompt.

What about you, Flax? Four favorite movies, go. I'm just stunned. Spending two or three minutes is too much time. You knew that this would be the case when you brought this up. I do not want to spend any fucking time on these apps, and I don't want to be with someone who spends time on the apps. If you love these dating apps, I don't want to be with you.

I hate them. Sorry, just to share that. I don't think anybody really with you. I hate them. Sorry. Just to share that. I don't think anybody really enjoys. I know a lot of people who use the apps. None of them are like, oh, it's great. Unless they're like literally wall to wall. That question is great. I'd love to answer it, but I'm not answering it.

All right. I'm going to give you my top four movies. Let's hear it. Okay. I'm going to say Pulp Fiction, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Saving Private Ryan and Jurassic Park. Those are my four. Wow. So it's just a kind of very haphazard, ill thought out list of good movies.

What do you want from me? You ask a question, I give you the answer. I didn't ask a question. She asked a question. That's what I'm saying though. I just felt like Jurassic Park was way out there for a man in his 40s. I watched Jurassic Park literally this week. Can you believe it? And did you like it? Yeah, I enjoyed it.

It was great. It is a kid's movie, isn't it? I watched it when I was a kid and I have fond memories of enjoying it as a kid. I mean, I watched E.T. as a kid and I loved it. I'm not putting it on my list. That E.T. makes me feel sick to think about it. We talked about that. I fucking hate that movie.

I hate that slimy little shit. Yeah, honestly. I don't like E.T. so much. It's when he goes petrified and they have to quarantine the house. It just makes me feel sick. He is a gross little turd, isn't he? What were you thinking, Spielberg? I was a kid.

I don't need to see that. That was upsetting. All right, so she says, most of the responses I get always include one of the following. The Dark Knight, Interstellar, Inception, and maybe Shawshank Redemption. Christopher Nolan has an absolute chokehold on guys. It's crazy. She says, I can't lie. I just went to see Oppenheimer, and I do loveank Redemption. Christopher Nolan has an absolute chokehold on guys.

It's crazy. She says, I can't lie. I just went to see Oppenheimer and I do love Interstellar. Interstellar I enjoyed. What was the other one he did? He did Dunkirk. Dunkirk I thought was pretty good too, but not good enough to- Tenet.

I wouldn't put it in. I never saw that one actually. I heard people talking about it a lot when it came out. So this is one of the responses she got. Hi, Victoria. You are very beautiful. My top four movies. This is infuriating.

The Ocean's Eleven trilogy. So that's all three top slides taken already. I should have just said the first four Harry Potter movies. But he's counting that as one choice yeah sure sure next the pirates of the caribbean og trilogy okay deadpool one and two well ted one and two what i know i don't want to judge people based on what movies they pick for their top movies, because there's a whole variety of reasons why you might pick a movie to be your top. For me, if I pick like my top four favorite movies, I'm thinking of like nostalgia factors and like, you know, stuff that I might have seen as a kid

that I really enjoyed, I look back on and think like, fuck, I would love to go back to that time and feel like that again, sort of thing. There's a whole bunch that goes into it right so like i mean fair enough if you want to put all four harry potter movies as your your top four or whatever you do you i don't have to agree with that yeah i think you could you could i'm just saying that poor guy right yeah he's he's not getting a date after after spent spilling his heart out why not though It's such a stupid question to begin with. And taking his time. You have to expect the answers to be equally stupid, right?

Well, but that's it. All I'm saying is that guy, if he just commented on something else and spent, you know, two seconds on it, he would have wasted his time. But then all this shit

really matters. Wasted our time. But it's like when you meet somebody and you say, what kind of music do you listen to? And they listen to music

that you don't listen? To or whatever. It doesn't actually matter doesn't actually matter at all. No Judges everything cuz that's all you've got to go on on these apps other than yeah, you know You've got their physical appearance their stylized like that. Yeah, they're quaffed profile and then this is their first inch On paper, I don't think me and my my wife would match at all Like we're we're coming up to next week will be 20 years since we've been married. And we don't listen to the same music. We don't really enjoy the same movies or TV or whatever.

There's definitely points where there's a bit of crossover where, you know, like I'll go see something that she likes that I can just about manage and likewise or whatever. But we're fairly different people when it comes to all that kind of stuff you know she doesn't play any games like i play tons of games whatever but it works you know like you don't know everything else you've only got pictures everything else works you might match on the pictures just fine and then you know that's yeah i don't think any of this stuff matters at all well well the thing is there's no chance to really even know that stuff right until you until you've actually sat down and i also don't want to chat to someone for like two weeks i don't want to pen pal no but if you but yeah but

maybe you don't but but maybe you do as well though if you're going to get into a relationship you just become sort of people who chat about all sorts of stuff, right? Like you don't mind chatting to people I'm not it's not like I'm not I'm not like a weirdo Do you mean I want to get idea that I want to get an idea that there's actually some sort of connection But the same time like I don't want to just fucking waste my time This is I've got better things to do than fucking sit on my fucking phone Honestly, I hate it. I really hate doing so I'm trying not to and anything that saves me time

and effort do you know what I mean is what I'm down for thank you for that message period we've got to end the podcast because that is that is time

I do have one short one to end on okay it's very short in defence of Lewis because I thought it would be nice to give you a little

positive oh my god in defence of Lewis my friend is a huge Man City fan and corroborates Karl Walker being a significantly obnoxious person. Well, there you go, Lewis. He's met a lot of the City team, but found of all the team, Walker to be specifically dismissive and arrogant.

Cheers, Ben. Thank you, Ben. Holy moly. I just wanted to put that out there because, you know, people disagree with Lewis a lot. But not about this. Karl Walker, a lot of people suggesting that he's a complete prick. This is a relief because it says that my instincts were on that day.

Do you know what I mean? I've met a lot of people. I've joshed with them. Do you know what I mean? I was watching the video of me meeting Jeff Goldblum the other day. It's very embarrassing. It is weird. But it is good.

And do you know what I meanaine he's not awkward and arrogant around my awkwardness arrogantness yeah it's like a battle of a battle of wits um anyway thank you thank you messenger thank you great emails this week yeah yeah really good ones yeah really good ones that was obviously one of the we're killing it on the mailbags. Regular podcasts need to take a fucking lesson. Yeah, it does. Take a note. Yeah. All right, thanks, everyone.

We love you. And we'll see you next time. Bye. Goodbye. Goodbye.