Triforce! - Triforce! Mailbag Special #23: First Dates Special

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Triforce Mailbag Special 23! We called for First Date Stories and lemme tell ya, we got 'em! From being accused of being a drug dealer to being chased by a man on a skateboard with a fist full of prawns, we've got tons of horrific first date stories!! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe. We don't know what this is. We just don't even know. We don't know what it is We were diving in with you in an adventure of exploration intrigue and possibly romance Classify this one. We think we're probably gonna be horror If we're looking for genre the mailbag, well, I can tell you that the genre specifically seems to be bad dating stories. Right. I put a call out on the previous mailbag about bad dates. If you've had a bad date, let me know. And let me tell you something is so fascinating. There's an overwhelming response, I would say. Well, I think everybody's had that experience, right? Everybody's had apparently probably a bad date. I have never had a bad date, but I also haven't had many dates.

I'm in the exact same boat. We're lucky. I always say I'm very lucky. I met Mrs. F very young. Yes. Many mistakes. And somehow she just ended up marrying me. Job done. Yes. Done that part. I've obviously been dating lately.

I haven't had any bad dates, but I would love to tell you if I did. But that's that might be because I'm too picky. Maybe I should just start going on. You've had a couple of dates and none of them have been bad. That's one side of the story. Let's see what the judge, let's see if they've written in. They've been great. I went on a double date with a Lebanese child.

Oh my God. All right, let's dive in. This've been great. I had a terrible day with a Lebanese child. Oh my god. Alright, let's dive in. This is from Kevin. Hello Triforce, Wisconsinite here with some bad dating stories that happened to some close friends of mine that I will keep short and not so sweet. First of all, thank you Kevin for not bringing up previous episodes we talked about Wisconsin

negatively. He just said Wisconsinite here. Yeah. Good to know some of you are out there still. We haven't all moved away after uh yeah there hasn't been a big exodus or uh you know just a a slight migration indeed this is by the way not an invitation to send more wisconsin emails also i don't know why he can't just say hi triforce here with some bad dating stories wisconsinites always have to identify themselves well they're on the radar now, aren't they? Yeah, I guess so. So the first story I was unfortunately present to witness, a lady friend of my girlfriend

brought a dude over who she got on a single date with. It went well, so she brought him to meet us at a small gathering we were having with alcohol involved. He seemed pretty awkward for the majority of it, but very clingy to her. Eventually, someone started playing karaoke videos on the TV and he was sufficiently drunk, the dude got up and sang the song from Frozen where Anna and the evil prince guy fall in love to my friend. I record towards the end of this him getting down on one knee and saying he loves

her. The silence was deafening and she sort of laughs him off and most of us ignore him for the rest of the night. I believe he may have also taken out a switchblade at one point to show us but my memory is pretty hazy at that point. Needless to say, he was never heard from again by any of us. So they're married now.

That's shocking. Happily married, yeah. Second story is from a gay friend of mine with a sufficiently older man he met on Grindr. I believe it was a 14-year age difference with my friend being 20 at the time. If you recall the episode where Pirian gave a gay slang quiz to Lewis and Sips, I do, then you'll know what I mean when I say my friend is an otter and the older man was for sure a chicken

hawk. Long story short, they hooked up a few times, and on one of these occasions, my friend ventured into the bathroom of this guy's house and noticed some pills on the counter. My friend, being a pharmacy student, immediately recognized them as STD medication. He was not thrilled, although apparently this didn't stop him from hooking up again in the future anyway.

I guess that's a date. You could clear it up, I guess. Most of them can be cleared up. Sure. Yeah, not AIDS. Well, no, but that's an extreme case. Yeah. Right? Well, I'm talking about your clear-up-able ones. Yeah.

Talking about the lesser ones. I don't want to mention any of them. No the lesser ones i don't want to mention it no i well i don't want to bring the tone down you know like we're already we're already treading the line there yeah it's already hard when you're seeing someone right because you are scared about that in the back of your mind right you have to be safe out there everyone it's always awkward as well is this something that's uh that you're thinking about a lot, do you find? Not a lot, but it's definitely... I can imagine it being like, just fuck it, I'm just going to be celibate for the rest of my life.

Do you know what I mean? You hear about like... It's one of those things, isn't it, where you're like, people are gross and they've got gross illnesses, and they're gross anyway. I'm just going to sit in my fucking apartment and just watch porn yeah the scary thing for me is i know i know that i'm a complete idiot and i would definitely just take a stupid gamble because i was horny and drunk and just go for it and then immediately catch something terrible like i don't trust myself to make good decisions uh in that

regard so i think avoiding stds on the dating scene would actually be a big problem and i would i would really have to work at it because i'm a fool so i you know some girls there she's like take me period and i'll be like oh well here's my million red flags and you know she's weeping sores like a like a like a plague victim go on you could the take is it's it's never going to be romantic to say you know we should be tested for for these things right but i think you have you have to wear protection until you have to but for both of you until you can both get tested together or at least like not not together but you know at the same time because i think then like that that opens up that opens up intimacy after

that right and comfort yeah yeah do you know what they need is like a vending machine just in a pub and you meet someone you just go up to the machine you both put your hands on some kind of plate and it does a little sample or something and this is you are std clear and then you go right we can go and we know And we know that we haven't got anything. I think that would be cool. That would be great if there was some sort of sci-fi sex machine. Like the traitor tester. Yeah, like the traitor tester. It tests you for STDs instead. You just need a breathalyzer, but for your knob.

STD detected. Uh-oh, I've got the clamp. A breathalyzer for your knob. Yes. Here's another email. Horrible first date. Robbed and accused of being a drug dealer. Good Lord.

Holy crap. That's how, funnily enough, that's how most of my dates go. This is from Jordan. My horrible and unbelievably unlucky first date story. Third year of university in Shottingham. I don't know where that is. I matched a nice, super attractive girl on Tinder and we hit it off via message. Asked her university in Shottingham. I don't know where that is. I matched a nice super attractive girl on Tinder and we hit it off via message. Asked her

to go for a drink. She accepted. We met at a bar in town. Two drinks later, things are going smoothly. So we went to another bar and here's where things go downhill. We're sat in a booth next to the window when three rowdy youths start banging on the window trying to get her and our attention. I suggest we ignore them, which we do in the hope they'll leave, which seemed to work. It didn't. We get up to order a drink, leaving our stuff at the table. And as we're at the bar, which we do, in the hope they'll leave, which seemed to work. It didn't. We get up to order a drink, leaving our stuff at the table, and as we're at the bar, the

lads run in and steal her bag. Not reacting quickly enough, and honestly a bit scared of getting stabbed, I didn't chase after them, but we called the police. Another bloke, much braver than me, did chase her down and retrieve the bag. Whaaaat? Which is a big, that's getting cuckolded on a date, my brother. And retrieve the bag, crisis averted, right? No. And then she went off with him.

We go to another bar and a guy who was twice my size is playing on a fruit machine next to us. He starts grumbling, then throws a drink menu at us before spitting in my direction and shouting something unintelligible. At which point we move away to the other side of the bar and warn the barman. Weirded out, but undeterred, we have a nice chat that eventually touches on past relationships. At which point she starts crying inexplicably she chooses this moment to kiss me a bit weird

but I'm not complaining we head home separately and the next day she texts to say that while she quite likes me she thought about all the weird stuff that happened on our date

and I've consulted her stepdad she's concluded that I must be a drug dealer otherwise why all the beef with the locals i had i still have no idea why any of this happened but when i was gutted not to see her

again that is a terrible date that's bizarre the whole thing okay i can understand the karma like the the idea of fate like someone is all spiritual or whatever and they're like well you know you're obviously got bad juju uh you got bad vibes i get it right like but the drug dealer thing assumption like surely people are friends with drug dealers you know they like want to keep on their good side they're scary guys right they want to you want to get drugs from them i don't know like i why would does everyone know the local drug dealer and do they have a bad rep and get like spat the stepdad thinks he's streetwise and can spot this oh no no i'll tell you what it is love he? The stepdad thinks he's streetwise and can spot this.

Oh, no. No, I'll tell you what it is, love. He's no good for you, love. He's a drug dealer. He's a drug dealer. Yeah. Oh, I know about these. Trust me.

But he's not streetwise. He's an idiot. A lot of people think they're really clever because they assume something and they assume it's true. And they then pat themselves on the back for some brilliant piece of detective work. But actually, they're just completely fucking wrong. This guy's this is this guy's a drug dealer. We just got unlucky. Maybe you could have just said fucking hell.

Maybe avoid going to those pubs. Go to some some nicer pubs. The first pub sounded fine. Stay there. I don't understand constantly moving around. If I find a pub that's good, why move? Why go to a new pub? Well, you got to go in. You got to find a seat again. It might be shit. Got to order a drink. Just fucking chill chill where you are it's not about the location it's about who

you're with anyway yeah i don't know it's kind of nice to move around a little bit too though it's like a good excuse to get out and have a little stretch maybe like uh you know gently puke down an alleyway on the way to the next one i'm a sit tight guy you have a smoke or whatever i don't mind i don't mind moving i like to i like to sit tight for a bit though like i don't i don't want to just have one and then go but like you know maybe like two two or three and then on to the on to another one i'd say my my approach to pubs is more like the french pre-world war ii maginot line style defense where you just sit in place right yours is more of the highly mobile highly mobile vermax i like to i like to

blitzkrieg yeah you're more of a bar creek when i'm drinking yeah i feel like there's um this thing with bars sometimes where they have this very shitty chic thing going on where they have all mismatched furniture a load of different frames of things like haphazardly on the walls they've got like old rusty so old fucking rusty weighing machine or piano or hooker or something weird. You know, it's all just old garbage that they've accumulated. Yeah. And they try to make it look like it's like cool and trendy, but it's actually just trash. And they're too cheap to buy. But with soft lighting.

Exactly. But they seem to be over, you know, it will have really expensive cocktails there. Do you know what I mean? 20 quid for a cocktail. Yeah. I think those places you can sit in for a drink, but you wouldn't want to spend the whole night there. Yeah, but that wouldn't be the choice then. I mean, if you've chosen a bad pub for the date,

then fair enough. You'd want to move. No, I'm not saying it's bad. I'm saying it's quirky and weird and interesting, right? I don't want to see shit hanging on the walls. I hate that. I really hate that. Especially if it's like, what is that there for? Like there's a bit of an old engine and some kind or like just, just something that just, just, um, like Americana hanging on the walls and getting like a TGI fucking Fridays or something where they're like, Ooh, you're in America.

Another thing that bugs me is when you go to somewhere like outside London, uh, like Bournemouth does this a lot and there'll be bars with names that imply that you're in London. Yeah. Like there's a bar that I know called the Camden house or something like that. And you go in and it's just like a bog standard bar. But I think first of all, have you ever even been to fucking Camden? It's a dump.

I like Camden, but it is a dump. And this isn't, there are no bars in Camden like this. Like why have you called it the Camden? Try to add some kind of, oh, it's like, you know, oh, it's a bit like, you know, Camden. How many people from Bournemouth that go into this pub have ever been to Camden? They just recognize the name and it has some kind of romantic allure. Where's the drug dealers? Where's the dead people? Where's the crack addicts? Where's the shit? Because that's Camden right there, buddy. Let me tell you.

World's End Bar, anyone know that? The worst toilet in the world. They're trying to give you a slice of Camden without all of the extra toppings. I don't know which part of Camden it's a slice of, but it must be a niche part of Camden. Yeah. I don't know. I'd still go, though. Like, sounds all right.

Sounds okay. Yeah, it's not. Here's one from Scott. High Triforce Team. I do like to think of this as a team. That's good. still go though like sounds all right sounds okay yeah it's not here's one from scott uh high triforce team i do like to think of this as a team that's good i'll keep this short and to the point he then goes on for about five paragraphs back when i was 20 i was using the dating apps big time and have regular dates big time okay big time lots of big time no no fucking around here dates yeah double big time double big time i've had a few bad dates from dating apps but don't

let that affect you, Lewis, as I met my current girlfriend through Bumble. To the story. I'd organised a date with a girl to go to a bar nearby to my flat.

We agreed to meet at the subway station at 8. I arrive for 8, wait for 10 minutes and she's not there. Couple minutes later, she texts me saying she's going to be

another 30 minutes late. What? Annoying, but no problem. Only men think like this. I'll go back to my flat and come out getting closer to 9. She doesn't like this. I'll go back to my flat and come out getting closer to 9. She doesn't arrive till 9.20. She sees an hour and 20 late. We're off to a bad start but maybe the date will be good. The first thing I notice is a medical mask on her chin.

This is pre-covid but I was in Korea so this is kind of normal. We get to the bar and the date starts and all the conversations regarding how she doesn't want to go to her friend's hen party but was talking a bit odd. When I did manage to get a word in to ask the mask still around her chin it turns out she had botox injected into her chin near hours before the date another hour of bad chat and complaints continue where she complained about the area i lived the bar we were at everything else under the sun i decided to leave pay the tab at the bar and make up some excuse about uni work after i leave she sends me a message 20 minutes later asking to come to my flat, an invite I declined.

Anyway, long story short, I guess that this shows that what an awful date for you is maybe a good date for them. That's a reasonable point, Scott, but that was just a shit date, mate. It just felt like it went... That does sound like a fairly shit date. Maybe she was really enjoying venting all all of her Aggressions out and Felt like you were a great shoulder to cry on I mean Scott I'll be honest with you fair play

For not having her up I'm interested in the follow up text After the fact Saying can I come to your flat I'm more interested in the rejection It's a bit of a weird one isn't it Maybe her chin had gone down by then a bit Maybe she wanted to just have a lie down Because the't it? Maybe her chin had gone down by then a bit.

Maybe she wanted to just have a lie down because the Botox had given her a headache or something. Who knows? Maybe she got like another problem. She just vent to him about for another hour. And another thing. You let her in and it's like, oh, more of this. Like, all right, fine. You can leave now.

Jesus. That's a bad one, dude. I feel like there's a lot of this because you can't you can't know what someone's gonna be like no but equally do you think that there's somebody out there who will think that that was a good there's someone out there who would love to listen to that if she if she's consistently always like that is there somebody out there that is willing to put up with it well you gotta imagine there's all these podcast listeners to this podcast listen to us rant about garbage shit day in day out to i mean so yeah maybe like one of our listeners would be the perfect person

for her you never know oh maybe maybe all right this is from uh this is from another lewis um this is this might be from me. You got some competition. One of the first dates I went on with my ex-girlfriend was for a drink to the student union of our uni back in 2019. Until this point, we'd only ever really spoken over text or hooked up after meeting on Bumble. That night, we met up and walked into the main bar of the student union and ordered a couple of drinks.

Had a pint of lager, she had a white wine. After some good convo, some time passes, we finish our drinks. All of a sudden, the mood changes and a worried expression appears on her face. I ask what's wrong and she explains that the woman sitting across from us at another table slept with her ex-boyfriend while she was still dating him. I tried to reassure her and let her know that if she wanted to leave, we could go somewhere else. This is where things get spicy.

She tells me that she's fine and wants to stay. I ask if she's sure. She says yeah. I turn my back for five seconds to order two more drinks and like magic when I turn around both women are nowhere to be seen. Naturally I sit down and look at my phone while sipping on my drink. Suddenly my ex comes rushing back to the main bar with tears in her eyes, being tailed by a burly Scottish female bouncer. The bouncer exclaimed in shock, Miss did you just slap that girl? I am like what the fuck is going on, this girl is crazy. She was banned from the union

on the spot and I walked her out. She starts full on crying at this point and I ask her like an idiot, why did you do that? You can't just go around slapping people. To which she told me to fuck off and ran away. Later I met her best friend looking for her, which put my mind at ease as it meant I could abandon all responsibility and walk home.

Later that night she messaged me saying she wanted to see me but I was well and truly spooked so I just ghosted her. All of my friends had told me not to go out with her as the first time we'd hooked up she'd muttered under her breath that she loved me the worst part is that a few months later during the winter she messaged me again and my lonely frozen ass went crawling back for more a year of dating later and we broke up after a heated argument i was incredibly relieved as this is what i'd wanted for a while uh but basically couldn't put it into words The lesson I learned is do not let lust cloud your judgment and take red flag seriously very very wise advice Good wise advice. Yeah, that is wise advice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Lewis. I hope you're paying attention to this wise advice

Well, I've got a list of red flags right? I was saying to period earlier like I told you i told you some on the podcast for like having having a camper van or at least like not being grown up enough to still basically they're basically being on they're still on their gap year and i don't mind like a couple doing like a a gap year type holiday before they get married or something like that that's fine especially if they didn't do it when they were you know out of fresh out of uni or just about to go to uni or whatever but i feel like some some people are still on their gap year they've never stopped they're all right they're just all they're like

clearly a party person who is clubbing all the time right or all the concert makeup that's one i know i have a lot of red flags um actually but i'm slowly learning more and more i guess they're not red red flags i mean they're like they're more like orange flags I guess they're not red, red flags. I mean, they're like, they're more like orange flags, I guess. I think, I don't know if I'd be good at detecting red flags from, from profiles because I don't know how much I can really believe profiles on,

on those dating sites. Like whenever I've seen them, they're either very vague or they seem to be trying to do like the mass appeal of like a big brand advertising campaign. You know what I mean? Like Coca-Cola isn't narrowing it down and being like, we don big brand advertising campaign. You know what I mean? Like Coca-Cola isn't narrowing it down and being like, we don't like Chinese people. You know what I mean?

They're just saying, we want, we love everybody. That's their message. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I'm not saying- There is a lot of that. Some people do really narrow it down though and are obsessed with one thing. Right. But I think too many of them are just as broad as a big corporation.

Like McDonald's never really steps out of line and says here's what we believe they're just like please buy our burgers yeah here are the burgers like they're trying to keep it raw if they told you what they believed yeah because i'd be like okay i could make an informed decision because i can tell you pretty much what they believe if you want to if you if you need to know what mcdonald's yeah well i'd love to hear this go ahead they just want money no matter what it doesn't doesn't matter how they don't care who they dupe or take advantage of to get it they're getting the money maybe that should just be their their their slogan

show give us your transparency we don't give a shit about anything except for lots of money um so take it all with a with a pinch of salt you know it's it's weird that people it's it's weird that they do it in the first place pretend to care about stuff but then it's even weirder when people believe them right like i know somebody who is very uh against everything it it you know you know these that are just, everything is some big conspiracy or there's, there's everything is, is designed to keep, uh,

like a certain class of people down or whatever, all this, but loves Amazon. We'll defend it to death. Loves Amazon. Like, it's just, I don't understand.

Like, I don't understand how you can have all of these big, um, you know, uh, qualms and,ms and and takes and stuff and then defend just another shitty company really like i mean do they make money from amazon or like that reselling or whatever yeah i mean it's you know it's convenient or or whatever but

like man they're they're no better than any other large corporation but i mean they're they're objectively terrible to their staff as well like yeah absolutely absolutely but this person does not see it but i don't know it's it's odd right choosing yeah choosing what to be uh enraged by and then just having such a double standard with the stuff that you that you like it's weird i'm loving it i think my red flags would be things when i got to know someone a little better i would say number one if they were religious that's a huge red flag for me i wouldn't really want anything to do with anyone that was religious i just wouldn't trust that we

would ever really see eye to eye on a lot of things yeah um and my assumptions about them the things that they would probably believe in the thing the things that they would support would be at odds with the things that i believe in and support so i would be very very reluctant i've known a lot of religious people in my life my thing with religion and maybe this is uh maybe this is not not um a true thing or whatever but i always feel like religious people i i feel like i get along with somebody who is religious and i would tolerate you you know, their beliefs or whatever, I wouldn't mind so much. But I always feel that their past, like their childhood and stuff is monumentally fucked up and therefore will fuck them up in the future.

Yeah, I think a lot of people turn to, this is not people who were born and raised in a religion, but people that turned to it almost universally yeah i know who have been born again and all this kind of stuff i've had a terrible fucking life and this is their therapy yeah i fully respect that if that's helping you absolutely go for it but i don't want anything to do with it because they tend to be the most evangelizing it's like it's like it's like someone who's on a on some fitness regime and never shuts up about it and wants you to be on the same fitness regime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that defines their entire personality. They call that the zeal of the recently converted, right? Exactly. It's people who just discovered something that won't fucking shut up about it, right? Yeah. And they think I'm going to hell and I'm a sinner. I don't like to be judged like that. This is a pretty unusual one.

I mean, I think it's more, you're more likely to see people who say things like that. They don't have any filter. Do you know what I mean? Or they're rude to like servers or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Or I hate that as well. But that would be the kind of thing you'd notice.

Like if we were out and about, I remember there was a girl I knew, I never dated her. I was married at the time, but she was always incredibly rude to cab drivers. Right off the bat, you get in the cab and you just start having a go at them really it's like yeah i was like this is so weird huge that is weird yeah um just because that's such a weird personality trait to have is that

we get in a cab and she's just literally almost getting us kicked out of the cab within five minutes of being in the cab and was she the type of person that sort of wore it as a badge of honor as well she didn't give a fuck oh she just did really this goes this also goes hand in hand with people like Shitting on something you like Jeremy like like you you know you say are I'm into war games and they're like war games are for nerds Yeah Has that has happened? It's almost like a direct insult, know yeah right to your face you know someone who's willing to do that um i don't i don't know it's it's right it's like it's a very it's it goes

hand in hand with that right like that kind of lack of awareness or like but but if you've got someone i think that actually to me shows more that they're just not interested in you yeah um like or do you mean because i think if someone is interested in you they're going not interested in you. Yeah. Like, or, do you know what I mean? Because I think if someone is interested in you, they're going to be trying to be nice to you, right? Yeah.

Or from both sides as well. I think you shouldn't take any shit from, like, if you're a girl and guys are like, taking the piss out of things you do. Of course. You shouldn't, you shouldn't take that for a second.

Like, anyone who belittles you or makes you feel less than you are, you should get out of there. Yeah isn't you know either they're playing some fucking alpha chad seduction move on you where they're trying to neg you or whatever or they're just a dick there's then they're both bad right yeah um so then doesn't that mean that me saying that i don't want anything to do with dating a religious person isn isn't that me judging them? Yes. Well, yeah, but so therefore, therefore you should get out of that. But the thing is, I would never- But you're up front about it, whereas- No, but I wouldn't berate them about it.

No, no, but people could be up front about this stuff as well. If you're looking for somebody, you could just kind of say, I don't want somebody who plays a lot of video games or it plays, you know, with miniatures and stuff. No nerds. No nerds, yeah. But that's what the first date is for, right? Because then you know with miniatures and stuff no nerds no nerds that's what the first date is for right because then you can squirrel that away and be like yeah all right i'll just have a nice chat with this person i won't i'll say thanks i won't see you again i mean yeah that's

fine to do because you never that's you're never going to get a real picture of people until you meet them true i'd say also anything to do with crystals and spirituality and homeopathy and everything, I'm out. Like, I'm out immediately. That is just a huge no-no for me. All of that stuff. I don't know, though. I think for a lot of this stuff, though, even the religious stuff to an extent, I mean, it's not that consequential, I don't think. I think for all this-

I think it is long-term, dude. I don't think. I think, I think for all this- I think it is long-term, dude. I don't know. I think for all this stuff, there's, there's, there's definitely, if it turns into a relationship or goes anywhere, there's, there's probably some compromise needed along the way. But I still think that you can be a perfectly nice, lovable person and, and just, you know, have beliefs or whatever that may not fit in with somebody else or whatever. I think you'd be surprised. I think you'd probably be compatible with somebody that, you know, did these things that you don't like or whatever.

And you would probably find that most people, I'm not saying everyone, but most people aren't insane with it. So, let me ask you a question. I'm not talking about someone who was brought up Catholic or whatever and just wears a cross around their neck and i don't care about that i'm talking about someone who is properly religious sure all right or or like they use religion or something spiritual like they say oh i'm a scorpio that's why i do this yeah i mean fuck that as well do you see what i mean like they use it as an excuse for their shitty right actions or behind but here's the thing let's say i'm in a long-term relationship with someone who is a pretty committed christian goes

to church they're fine with me not going that in itself is a red flag i would suggest them them trying to convert me would be annoying they're not trying to convert me and just saying yeah so you're condemning me to hell like you're literally happy for me to burn for all eternity. That's what you believe. Yeah. I haven't turned to Jesus Christ and accepted him as my Lord and savior. And go, I am doomed.

And you're like, let's spend the rest of our lives together. By the way, when the rapture comes, I'm leaving. Like that's even worse. I would suggest you're not even trying to save me. So it's,

it's a lose, lose situation. I'm either going to be preached to for our entire relationship or I'm damned so yeah i mean i i'm not saying you know i'm not saying that you should you should go out of your way to find somebody who's completely contrary to yourself or whatever but i think that i think that people tend to get hung up on a lot of this stuff and a lot of it doesn't matter you know there's of course there's specific situations where yeah of course it's a deal breaker it's a huge red flag or whatever but i think i think people build some of this stuff up to be a way bigger deal than it than it actually is like like the the the impact of it you know like somebody believing in crystals or

whatever it's it's not going to come up all the time, is it? Like, it'll come up once in a while, and you could probably just be like, oh, whatever, I don't like that. But if you like it, whatever. I'm glad you have something you like. You know what I mean? It's not a huge deal. Religion's a little bit different, I guess. But even then, there's degrees of it, I feel like, anyway.

Yeah. I don't know. If someone says that to me, I'm going to instantly assume it's a joke. I just think it would be a shame to lose somebody who is potentially really somebody that you could really either hit it off with or even just be really good friends with you know you might have some things in common but then obviously there's things you don't have in common but to just dismiss somebody at face value because of these one or two things i don't think is right i i think if it depends if you're approaching it just from a very casual perspective but if you're approaching the if i'm going on dates especially

if i was my age now and i'm meeting someone yeah uh i would be looking for something longer term that is going to be a problem and i in a way i think a lot of this like a longer term problem but you could still have a couple of fun dates. You know, it might be fun for a few. Right, but that's casual. Yeah, I suppose. But what I'm saying is, imagine if I fell for this person. Yeah. But this would be an issue in our lives,

that would actually potentially mean that I fall for this person, and then it's all fucked up. I think a lot of the time people want to avoid these things because they're like, I could see this going south. I don't want to get attached to someone who I see no future with. Because what if we do end up falling in love? And then this becomes an issue in two, three years time. I've wasted two or three years and I've got the heartbreak and all the rest of it.

So I think a lot of people like I want it to be a good outlet, like a good, good setting at the outset so that it could build into something. Yeah. Rather than say, oh, I can put up with that for now. As as i book can you for the rest of your life put up with every morning good morning have you prayed it's like no i fucking haven't prayed for the millionth time anyway but but if every but if everybody's got it so sewn up and and and everything you know knowing what to avoid and finding the perfect person or whatever like there's a lot of people who can't find somebody but then there's fucking tons of people who can't find somebody but then there's fucking tons of people who get together and then divorce like in a couple of years or whatever as

well separation divorce rates are higher than they've ever been so nobody's fucking nobody fucking knows what they're actually doing despite everybody claiming to be some fucking genius at avoiding all of the red flags and pitfalls and stuff people still fall for them all the fucking time i got a couple of things to say on this so we've mentioned bumble a couple of times i've been on bumble you know my pictures are just mainstream pictures i think i look pretty nice i have not had a single reply on bumble like or a single hit on bubble the whole time like so nobody's even looked at you once not a single message from anyone um i mean i'm sorry for laughing but like it's not i'm not laughing because it's just the whole thing is so fucking absurd like it's hard it's hard it's

it's actually really hard for men on dating sites so if you're struggling i feel fucking sorry if you dude and some of the dates i've been on have been pretty miserable and awful so it's tough right but um i've also had some some good good outcomes obviously i was on a date the other day all the dates i've had have been through hinge by the way i was on a date the other day and we were in this place uh she she recommended it it was like a restaurant and um so the waitress comes over who she knows and it's like oh another date oh no and she was like she was like she went a bit red, but she was like, oh, yeah, I brought loads of people here. And started laughing.

And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. So I looked at the waitress, and I was like, how do I compare to the usual? And she was like, it's like a joke. And the waitress was like, eh. And I was just like, oh, man. I actually loved it. It's actually funny.

It is funny, yeah. Jesus Christ. I've got an email I have to read here, okay? I'm not going to give a name, and I'm not going to give any details, but I am going to read this email, and you'll know why in a second. I want to read this. You'll see. Hi, I'm a

36 year old who would like to date Lewis. I think we might be a good match. I'm a gamer and board game lover, vegetarian slash vegan wannabe, like to travel and I think he looks super nice with a nice personality. I know this is stupid, but I have to give it a chance. She sent a picture.

She's very attractive. She has then followed up with an email six hours later. Hi, please ignore my last message. Oh, no. She doesn't listen

to the podcast. Oh, no. Oh, fuck me. I had to read it. I'm sorry. Oh, that is so fucking funny. I didn't get the name out of the blank now,

but I love that so much. Oh, my God. Oh, fuck, that fucking funny. I didn't get the name out of the blind down, but I love that so much. Oh my God. Fuck, that's funny. She gave me six hours. I'm so sorry, dude. She said this overnight.

Like this was last night at about 11 o'clock. that's funny. At 6am. She's like, she must've said to like, she was, she was a little tipsy apparently when she said that. fair enough.

And immediately regretted it. Yeah. She woke up or got to a certain stage of drunkenness and was like, what am I thinking? Oh, shit, that's funny. Well, I'm not really keyed on dating people who know me through what they see on this podcast. Because it's not the real me.

I'm not actually like this. No, you're not. He is not. I can attest. He is not like this. I've got a gun against my head. I'm much more boring in real life. No, he's exactly the same.

It sets unrealistic expectations. You are pretty much the same. That's very kind of you. Wait, I don't think that's a compliment, bud. Oh, I know it is. I think, I mean, well, we've done this podcast for seven years. I mean, I wouldn't turn up every week if I didn't like you guys. Like, I'm glad that you guys are yourselves and that you act-

But we're not dating each other. Yourselves. I never feel like you're putting on a show or anything like that. I feel like, you know, we're all pretty average, transparent people. Yeah, we are who we are. And I think, I mean, we're all pretty, pretty, pretty average, transparent people. Yeah. We are who we are. And I think, I mean, we're talking for over an hour. There's no way you could pretend to be someone else like that. No.

You know, we're all who we are. Fuck me. That email is so funny. That's so funny. That's so good. I had to read it. Even though it was requested that I ignore it, I had to read it. Oh, man.

It's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. That cuts me so deep. deep sorry you don't know it's despite all the rejection you constantly get on these apps it's horrible man it's like i know i know it's so tough as a man you know i feel so sorry for other people who are doing this listen you you know that we laugh at uh things like that and everything but i'll be honest with you i think I speak for both of us here, me and Sips, that we're very supportive

and we want the best for you in these dates and things. And when you told us you'd been on a date, we're very excited. When it's gone well, we're very happy for you. And I want everyone to know that even though we're teasing Lewis

and joking around, of course we want the absolute best for him. And there's no doubt that when he gives us a good story, we're just as happy as we are when he gives us a bad one because we enjoy listening it's a chance to vent it's funny but we're not judging him we're not being mean well this is exactly what i wanted from this as well yeah hopefully you find our advice helpful and i want to have an interesting life we're interesting i hope that you think about us when you're on your dates as well. I love

to think about that. What would Perian do? Simpson and Perian are gonna love this. I genuinely think that if you have something really embarrassing and awkward happen to you, like what I told you about in the last mailbag, you could either keep that inside and feel bad and awkward and embarrassed about it, or you could just

fucking tell everyone. And laugh about it and make it into a fun and it's not always the case but mostly the case that you can a problem shared is a problem a problem enjoyed a problem enjoyed yeah change it to laugh a problem enjoyed here's one from doctor uh the the subject line is triforce bad date story brackets brackets gay man. Hey lads, 20 year old Londoner here, long time listener, first time, mailbagger. Decided to try dating for the first time after getting over the end of- Mailbagger.

Mailbagger. Sounds horrible. It also doesn't sound like it's his first time because he's brackets gay man, so he might have been mailbagging quite a bit. Right. Yeah. Decided to try dating for the first time after getting over the end of a long term relationship.

At 20? Got a message from a guy. Yeah. Holy fuck. A 19-year-old bloke on Hinge saying he loved one of the outfits I was wearing and thought I was pretty cute. Long story short, we have a few things in common. Decided to meet up at Costa, get to know each other, and then head to the pub. Good taste.

While at the pub, he said, by the way, I'm a massive furry, and proceeded to show me pics of him and his friends at a meet in Manchester. Right. I thought this was pretty cool at first because I'd never met a furry before and had a lot of questions. After a few of my questions, he then went on to say, I commission a lot of furry porn actually, I can show you a few if you want. I laughed because I thought he was joking, but lo and behold, he pulled up some pictures of two dog guys going at it reverse cowboy style. Later on, he kept trying to get me to play some kind of platform

or on his phone and repeatedly compared me to his ex um because they were both really into history and hoy for never decided to go on a second date and stop talking to him after he sent me some more commissions over discord oh no my goodness no that's a big big a lot of a lot of flags there in various colors yeah only only 19 as well their own i suppose but wow he's really like you know dive deep into that world isn't he God, what was I doing at 19? Not that. No, not that. I was- what the heck? I'm trying to think what- At uni? I was dating Mrs. F at 19. I was over here actually when I was 19. 19 going on 20. I was over here on a, like a gap year pretty much as a holiday maker. I was in Jersey.

Oh, in Jersey? Yeah. Before I- between finishing high school and then going to college i came here for a year worked i worked at blockbuster video it was it was it was a time and then did she did she spend a year with you in canada she came to canada after as well that's so good she came she she lived in canada during my second year of school i think no it was like it was like halfway through my first year and then cutting into the second. We had so much fun that I failed a bunch of classes and I had to do an extra half a year of college. I know. Well, it wasn't... I mean, we did have fun, but I skipped a

lot of my lectures. Same exact thing. End of the first year, we had to go back to Plymouth and do retakes for like two weeks in the summer yeah um and we stayed with a friend mrs f had made in Plymouth uh Jana who's still a friend of ours and uh we lived in her council flat on a really shitty estate for two weeks it was fucking awful um and had to go in every day and do retakes and resits and lectures and and I regretted not attending anything near as not as many lectures as i should have in the first year but immediately repeated it all in the second year yeah um lived even closer to the university about a four minute walk and i still skipped half the at least half the fucking lectures which is dog shit this was before you could just get it all online as well

you actually had this is what you're supposed well that's not what you're supposed to do is it but you know i think a lot of people get suddenly freedom right university or college is like the sudden i'm i'm living on my own i can do whatever i want i can see whoever i want as much as i want kind of thing yeah to me it was just playing uh mmos mostly a good thing you did i mean it did lead to something well yeah and i didn't hate it i didn't i didn't hate it um man these are some these are some fascinating fucking yeah chats we've had this week i'm really enjoying this this is from uh hayley in my early 20s i went on a date to a relatively nice place with a bloke of a similar age he ordered chicken nuggets and chips off the children's menu then salt for the rest of the evening when he was told they didn't have any nuggets left. Had a margarita pizza, chips and a lot of ketchup instead. We dated for two years,

never saw him eat a single vegetable. Middle-aged me wonders how it got past that date, let alone two years deep. That is bizarre. Never. First of all, ordering the children's menu in a restaurant and then having pizza and chips. What is he in school? This is like a school dinner. That's a big red flag. Oh, man, that's not that's I eat that like every day. Yeah, that's Sips' margarita. I think this is actually Sips because the margarita, pizza and chips.

Oh, my God. And sulking if he doesn't get it. Yeah. It's so, so common. I get hangry for my pizza and chips i think i am a fucking bad red flag on the food front as well because obviously if they're not a vegan fuck yeah being a vegan puts a lot of people off i think a lot of people still are worried about that because they think i'm puny or i'm like which i am which is fair but um although i'm also like

annoying do you mean i think it is? I think it is like saying, it's not like saying I'm a feminist or something, but it's almost like saying that. It's not a good thing. You know, you're annoying. Like a feminist. Is that what you're saying? No, no, no.

It's like if someone tells me they're a feminist, I'm like, okay, I don't mind being a feminist, but you telling me is quite annoying. I think if you let things like veganism or dare i say feminism define your entire personality then it's like saying like it's just as bad to me as saying oh i'm a i'm a war gamer and that's all we can ever talk about yeah do you know what i mean it's like this this everything comes back to warhammer it's like hanging out with ben and tom basically all the time yes which which on a date in dating terms, I would be, I would be delighted to date either Ben

or Tom because I know them other than their war game. Yeah. I feel like that will be a red flag. Imagine those Warhammer streams, right? The Warhammer streams, that's all they can talk about. Like if you put Warhammer on your dating profile, even if you're like the world champion, you're in trouble right um but if that's if that defines your entire personality whatever it is that's going to be boring but i

think it's i think i am annoying being because i'm allergic to nuts i'm allergic to a few other things i i'm trying not to eat certain types of types of like certain things and it's a pain going to a restaurant with me jeremy it is it is a? It is terrible. It is really annoying for everyone involved. I don't find that you're awkward with it, though. I've been out with you before, and you just say- Right, but you're a vegetarian. Yeah. Sure, but even with nut allergies and stuff, I think that you're pretty laid back with it all.

You just kind of say to them, oh, can you just make sure there's no nuts in that, or I will die. It's not- Yeah. I don't think that that's- I mean, that's not a problem at all. But you're not like- But no nuts in that or I will die. It's not. Yeah. I don't think that's. That's not a problem. But you're not like. But it does limit the places we can go. You don't make like a big song and dance about it, though.

You're just a bit like matter of fact about it. I was talking to someone who also had some other allergies. Do you know what I mean? And then they were like, imagine we're in a restaurant and I have to explain all of my allergies. You have to explain all of your allergies. we just like the fucking most karen couple ever it is pretty crazy how many allergies people have these days i think it feels like more yeah than when i was younger but i think like all that stuff i don't think you come across um as kind of um overbearing with it or or obsessed with with any of it you know you just

kind of say like oh yeah i'm a vegan and i have nut allergies like you like i've never i've never been out with you where it's you know it's come across as like weird or or awkward or anything so but imagine if you're worried too much about it imagine if you're on a date and you love steak yeah and you want to go and get a steak uh-huh and you're you're going out with a vegan right that's that is going to be awkward because you're going to be like i guess we can never go out this is what happened to us remember in sips when we went to morton's with you and you couldn't even eat the fries because they had bacon on yeah i mean there was literally nothing for you in that whole place but i just ate some chips in the end anyway. They just gave me some chips.

You just picked the bacon off. Yeah. And then you go, and then you told them it was my birthday and we had a birthday cake as well. Well, because you hadn't eaten anything. At least the birthday cake was vegetarian. That is funny.

Yeah. That was the only thing that was edible for you. Yeah. But I mean, it's, you know, like, we were just out. I didn't care like i i

don't care that if i eat or not i'll just grab something when i'm hungry it doesn't matter i just want to be out you know like i was fine to just be with i think the people you're with care sometimes that you're having a good time and they and this is what i've run into sometimes it's like people worried that i'm not gonna have a good time with them because i can't eat anything yeah i'm fine i could just eat a fucking banana yeah i mean like i'm good i'm cool but it means it's like people worried that i'm not gonna have a good time with them because i can't eat anything yeah i'm fine i could just eat a fucking banana yeah i mean like i'm good i'm cool but it means it's tricky really because i think sometimes look i love it when people just organize stuff i think it's a very attractive thing and i think generally other people find this attractive too when other people are like oh we're going i booked this thing or we're going here or we're

doing this but the worst thing is to be oh what shall we do oh i don't know do you mean like it's always just so nice if someone has taken the initiative yeah but yeah like i like i just like winging it i like people that are simple and that will just wing it as well you know i don't we don't i don't need grand organization and uh you know formal sit downs and and all that kind of stuff. Oh, planning is not romantic either. Just some chips on a wall when you're hungry and I'm good. It's fine. Like, I don't care about any of that stuff personally. No, you're right.

And some of the nicest things are the ones that weren't planned or some of the happiest days of your life were not planned at all. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Like my kids. Yeah. Not planned. Yeah. It, absolutely. Like my kids. Yeah. Not planned. Yeah. It was very much a surprise. I'm joking.

I didn't even know she was pregnant. We never even had sex. I don't know how this happened. No, it's... Yeah, I know what you're saying. I agree. I think that's a good thing I think if you find somebody who can do those kind of things as well

Well for me personally I think that's great People who will just eat A bit of bread when they're hungry While walking You don't have to make a big deal About a lot of this stuff I know some people like to

And if you find somebody that also likes to, great. But there's always a simpler way to do it, I feel like. All right, here we go. This is from Joe. This is how the email starts. This is verbatim. I am indeed a man. Okay.

And this story was my first and only date. Right. This took place right at the end of the first lockdown. So I want you to bear in mind. Wait, end of the first lockdown. Yeah. All right. This is Joe's first and only date. How old is Joe? Does he say doesn't say, but you might get some idea of why it's his first as only date. Right. Even though he then tells us his pickup line that he was using at the time started as normal, met a nice girl on Tinder, opened up with my go-to was using at the time started as normal met a nice girl on tinder opened up with my go-to pickup line at the time are you a mask because you should be on my face right that

is joe's go-to pickup line good first and only day joe how does joe know no no what's normal as well started off as normal this is his first one he what is how what what the heck does he know i think he's implying that that is... He's used that on a lot of women. He's tried it on a lot of women. And it's worked once. It's finally stuck. But we'll find out why pretty soon.

Lo and behold, it worked. We decided to meet up at a bar near her. Came to date night. The bar had maybe 20 to 30 people in. She was sat at a table with five other blokes. We went to our own table to keep it brief. The date fine she was lovely and interesting went back to hers and as he puts it got busy with the formalities right anyway as we awoke the next day we were talking about the bar the night before she thought that this would be a good time to mention that by some amazing

coincidence she'd previously been on a date with almost every man that was in that bar at the time and revealed that I was date number 150. Wow. Did he get a balloon? Sensing my awkwardness, she followed up by adding, you're definitely in the top 20. Suffice it to say, that compliment did not earn us a second date. Joe, mate, you've been on one date. How picky can you be, brother? Yeah.

Well, but no, but he's in the top 20 of 150. I'd take that in a second. At least you got... Top 20? You got top 10%. You managed to hit a home run on your first date as well, which not a lot of people can say they have done. So, you know, there's at least that.

I mean, the line has obviously... He said his usual pickup line. So, given that he had. At least that. I mean, the line has obviously, he said his usual pickup line. So given that he had one date of that line, very, very low success rate with that line. And then when it finally did work. When it lands, it's a home run. That's crazy. Okay, so the way this works is a little bit like the Nigerian prince

with the scam emails, right? They are deliberately badly spelled because they want idiots to fall for it right it prunes out all of the all the time wasters right so if you go with a really sexualized first comment you're gonna get rid of anyone who's not looking for a one-night stand oh i see so so what he's doing is specifically looking for a pick up right by being that sexual in his first comment right noted and that was why you'll get if sometimes some people are looking for that you know if you if you say if you send a first message like

ah i can't wait to spend time on my ranch with my dogs jimmy or whatever i'd know something like where it's like really or like looking forward to our kids first day at school I don't know again it's gonna like it's gonna have a deterministic effect on who's gonna respond to that so yeah it's a common thing to think about alright well here's one from

Katie I thought you fellas might enjoy my bad date story from a woman's perspective it's a bit of a long story but it really is the worst date I've ever been on and that's saying something. Oh boy. Okay. I met a guy off Tinder. First meeting in the city center. Himself, a middle-aged man wheeling up to me on a skateboard. A bit quirky, but I can appreciate the efficient transport. We then settled in the pub garden at a Weatherspoon. Oh, these are all bad, bad, bad. After a brief bit of conversation, he pulls out a packet of prawns from his bag,

saying he'd like to go back to mine and cook me these prawns. Now, these prawns are so out of date, they were green and fuzzy. I turned down his offer. Surely after, like a mad magician, he pulls out of his bag a selection of crazy knives. He was evidently very proud of his knives and was waving them about with gay abandon

in the very busy pub garden. I promptly said this isn't going to work, thanked him for the pint and headed off. about with gay abandon in the very busy pub garden. I promptly said this isn't going to work, thanked him for the pint and headed off. The man started to follow me through the pub saying, no, come

back. I want to cook you these prawns. Outside of the pub on the busy street, he kept following me on his skateboard in a high octane chase.

I managed to duck inside another bar where my friends worked, where they gave me a free tequila to calm my nerves. Hope this story can bring you a chuckle.

That's almost 10 years ago now, so I can look back and laugh this will forever be etched into my memory god damn that's insane that sounds terrifying but also um a known threat right it's not like you think with some of these sometimes you think it's people are recording them like to put it on tiktok or whatever because that's weird like a prank yeah to pull out prawns and have a knife collection and stuff like that just seems really odd yeah that somebody would would do would do all that stuff i feel like sometimes when when really odd stuff happens i feel like okay where's there where's the camera like somebody's recording this trying to get a reaction or something like that you know maybe not 10 years ago though or maybe i don't know i did i i don't know i think the the prankers aren't necessarily on skateboards do you mean no i don't

that to me doesn't gel like maybe they'll be on rollerblades what's the difference well you know there's a cultural difference between skateboards and rollerblades. I guess, but I mean... They're very different. Very different. Well, here's an email for you. This is... G'day, Tim from Australia here. It was our second date.

She invited me to her place for a nice dinner, her words. I arrive, smiley dressed with a fancy dessert. I hope you bought an overnight bag. So you message somebody and you say, hey, you want to get together? get together and they say yeah why don't you come over to my house for a nice dinner yeah that's how that goes yeah that's the second date she says you want to come over to my house for a nice dinner sounds great exactly that's exactly how it goes yeah really i'd say that sounds i'd be skeptical i would be i would be thinking somebody was trying to prank me put it on TikTok

or whatever. Someone rolls up on a fucking pair of rollerblades and starts filming you. With a bag of prawns. So you're here for a nice dinner, aren't you? I arrive nicely dressed with a fancy dessert, prepared for an enjoyable meal, and perhaps a smooch if things go well. Oh yeah. Turns out dinner is two bottles of wine and

some crackers and beetroot dip. She's wearing sweatpants and no deodorant. Over the next hour, she eats all the dip, drinks an entire bottle of wine and some crackers and beetroot dip she's wearing sweatpants and no deodorant over the next hour she eats all the dip drinks an entire bottle of wine and falls asleep i ended up sleeping on her couch and in the morning she doesn't apologize for falling asleep so abruptly but does find time to bring up that her boobs are too small to give a boob job it was quite random as we hadn't talked about that at all the night before i think he means like a tit wang yeah yeah she even made me watch a porno featuring the act as if I didn't know what it was. Needless to say, I left at the

first opportunity and never contacted her again. No disrespect, maybe she was having a bad week. Well, Tim, that's kind of a date, I guess. I don't know what that is. She made you watch a boob job porno. Made you watch it. That must be her thing,

maybe, but she's saying it can't be her thing very strange we all want what we can't have indeed this is uh woman reporting on a disastrous date i watched with someone on an online dating site that matched with someone on a online data site several years back we chatted for about a week made arrangements to meet up first date went fine second date we went back to his place and I spent the night. Next morning I woke up, went into the living room, on my way to the kitchen for a glass of water to find his mother sitting on the couch. Apparently he lived with her and didn't tell me and I couldn't tell from the room decor or anything. She was perfectly pleasant but I was mortified as I'd assumed we were alone in his house. As I was

trying to escape back to his bedroom and consequently escape the entire situation, he came out of the bedroom in his underwear with his mother still sitting there. I was just totally flummoxed over the whole situation. We were both grown adults in our late 20s and I noped out of there as quick as I could. Worst walk of shame ever. Catherine, that does suck.

There's something about someone's mum being there that's like, ah, shit. How much noise did I make? Like, yeah, that's awkward. That is... Because that's what you shit how much noise did i make like yeah that's all yeah that is because that's what you're constantly second guessing yourself you're like oh no oh no okay what do you reckon his mum said to him after she seems nice she she seems nice if they're all like that laid back about it that's not the first uh time a rodeo has happened in the in the flat or in the house right they're used to yeah you'd assume he's in his late 20s he probably brings girls back quite

often yeah i mean it depends like certainly being in his underwear in front of his mom i guess would seem i guess he just doesn't say that he lives with his mom because maybe it's off-putting it's a red flag and then you know maybe his mom is just not home that often, but maybe this time she just happened to... She might not have even been home when that was happening. She might have come back after or something, you know? Just snuck in. Well, that's it. I'm out of dating stories. Thank God. Yeah, holy crap. I think I'm kind of done with the dating stories for now. If there are good ones, like really good ones. Some of them are just too weird, man.

Like it just really highlights the fact that there are some. We've all learned a lot today. I feel like it's like peering into other people's dating life. It is a view into what people are like. It's almost like looking in through someone's window. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like having a little peek into a private world.

Because people obviously let their guard down a bit. Yeah. And you get to it's like it's like having a little peek into into a private world because people obviously let the guard Down a bit. Yeah, you get to see what people are really like on a date So I think it's gonna be interesting as Lewis continues his dating escapades and we continue to get emails about them I'm looking forward to it. I'll read out the good ones and weed out the rest. Thank you. Thank you so much for doing that Yeah, thanks for the story. We love you and we'll see you next time. See you on the next mailbag. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.