Triforce! - YoGPoD 36: Live on Nordrassil

Episode Date: February 28, 2011

Simon and Lewis run their own live radio show on Nordrassil Radio. The music is all cut out because of copyright, but everything else is intact! Enjoy :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcas...tchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:02 at Real Canadian Superstore. Find it all here with more ways to save at Real Canadian Superstore. Crank up the volume, sit back and get ready for an evening of awesome. Nordrisil Radio is proud to bring you Lewis and Simon of Yogscast, celebrating 100,000 YouTube subscribers. Without further ado, let the epicness begin. Warning, this broadcast will contain language your mother will not like. And now introducing the wonderful, the awesome, the brilliant Lewis, and Simon as well, is here. Ladies and gentlemen, it begins. Thank you. ¶¶
Starting point is 00:03:35 ¶¶ Hello everyone! Hello! On the internet, this is Lewis and Simon, Yogscast. We are live broadcasting through the airwaves or the wires that go up. We're in Yogtower, aren't we? We've put a massive erection on the top of Yogtower. There's a massive metal
Starting point is 00:03:55 pole which we're broadcasting our messages, our words, and our terrible choice in music into your brains. Directly into your brains. in music into your brains yep directly into your brains of electromagnetic radiation no i this is the first time we've ever done anything technically live isn't it simon and although we have done interviews and things before we have control over this one so it might just go horribly wrong there might be long periods of silence where we kind of just
Starting point is 00:04:25 muse over the existence of reality and other such things. This isn't going to be funny by the way, guys. It's not going to be funny at all. It's just going to be Lewis having some form of crisis going on.
Starting point is 00:04:42 What's it called? It's not like an identity crisis. It's um you know when you question your existence like a midlife crisis existential crisis or something isn't it well i don't know we've got plenty of questions from people and if people want to submit more questions they can join the chat and send them also this will be a podcast so what we're going to do is we're going to chop chop out all the illegally downloaded pirated music for internet radio that's being going to be played during the broadcast um so we don't get sued by billy joel rammstein s club seven and dr man away don't give it all away lewis don't give it all away i want some of this music to be a pleasant surprise.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Because I don't think people are quite expecting what we're going to play on this. No. Okay. Well, it's a mixture. It's a mixed bag of stuff that you like. It's a bit of an excuse to play a few songs that we like. Because we don't normally get to do that, do we? No. No problem.
Starting point is 00:05:41 So we've gone a bit nuts, haven't we? Basically. I'd like to think that music producers will allow us to use their songs in future like Bieber will get to play some music in the background of videos but I don't know that day maybe maybe a long way away you have Bieber fever the Bieber fever do you have the Bieber fever? I don't know. Well, I think a lot of people have got it, judging by how many millions of views it's got on YouTube. But I don't know. It's something straight.
Starting point is 00:06:12 It's the power of teenage girls, Simon. It's the same. They control the world, teenage girls. It's terrifying. Isn't it? Aren't they like one of the five great powers in the universe? There's like gravity, electromagnetic. Jam.
Starting point is 00:06:28 There's strong nuclear, weak nuclear, and teenage girls having crushes on teenage boys. Who do terrible songs. It's pretty powerful amongst those five. It's one of the stronger ones, I seem to remember. From my physics. You did astrophysics at university didn't you well we have not scripted anything at all no no no you should have written down something it's fine though this is fine because it's just off the top of our heads and it's like people can actually see what we're really like having a conversation and i think people are really interested in in seeing what we're really like
Starting point is 00:07:05 we're just waffling away well that's what we're like that's what we're really like you'll start ranting soon and you'll get like really angry about something um dinosaurs aren't real they never existed they were placed there in the ground by uh the devil did you read about did you hear about this this one one scientist believes like the middle ages didn't happen and he because there's not very much like evidence of the middle ages from like the from the year 500 to like 900 so the actual year there's not much stuff like 1600 and 11 is that what he said yeah well basically yeah because in like the 1300s when they redid the calendar they sort of made a bit of a guess apparently because there's not much yeah document
Starting point is 00:07:50 i think there was like nine days that went missing not like 400 years lewis yeah but what what happened between 500 and 900 ad simon do you know anything that happened in that period of time? There was Bob Hope was born. I don't know. I think it's from around that period that I first have my cultural references. You lost your virginity around then, yeah. Probably did, yeah. That was one of the questions. Someone asked that on the question, so we've covered that one.
Starting point is 00:08:24 I'll just put a little tick by that question So that's done We've got some very lewd questions I don't think we should really go through The rudest ones Because I don't think it sickens me Frankly Have we actually got
Starting point is 00:08:41 That song that you've been singing All weekend on the playlist of Rude World? Oh, God. Yeah, but Hannah's not letting us play it. She's not letting us play it. She put her foot down. Even though, you know, this show is, you know, supposedly under the control of me and Lewis,
Starting point is 00:08:59 Hannah still gets a say in it. And she put her foot down. So we had to cut some of the sort of the the hitler song songs stuff like that yeah the dirty song had to go yeah but we we do have a song we shall play this play it we'll play a song oh good okay we'll put some uh what's up next is it caramel dancing let's play? Let's play that. Go. We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure
Starting point is 00:09:34 to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. That was Caramel Danson. The original version. Did you like that? That was Caramel Dancing The original version Did you like that? Did you like that? I like that
Starting point is 00:09:50 It was nice, I enjoyed it very much Do you like your Europop, Lewis? Do you like your silly sort of Europop nonsense? Is that Europop? I thought it was like anime music It's sort of inspired by
Starting point is 00:10:06 that sort of Japanese anime music. That's all I think of when someone says anime to me. You know? Haven't you been watching some of it, though? Didn't you watch an anime recently it though didn't you watch like an anime recently um i was trying to get hannah to um i wanted to watch the the new my little pony animated series with hannah because i thought you know she would appreciate that she's a girl
Starting point is 00:10:38 she likes ponies i wanted to get into it and i thought it could be like our show that we would sit down. We would have a secret secret ration that we would share. What's going on here? What? What? When were you going to tell me about this? Were you going to okay it with me or was it just going to be some kind of something going? Why are you telling me about it now? What I was going to do is I was going to call
Starting point is 00:11:06 up your mobile and pretend to be your mother and say there's been a terrible accident. That's not how my mother sounds. Can you... Hello? Mum, what's wrong? You sound panicked.
Starting point is 00:11:21 A plane crashed on your father. A plane crashed on him. You need to come home. Okay. I'll come home immediately, Mother. Yeah, but actually, half an hour. That's all it'll take. So you can come home in half an hour's time.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Okay. All right. Love you. Bye. So then what happens in your grand scheme of things Your evil dictator plan Then I like Reach deep into my pocket
Starting point is 00:11:53 And I pull out A small piece of chocolate And I break it in half And I hand Hannah half It actually reminds me of when In the Lord of the Rings When they're down to their last biscuit the last
Starting point is 00:12:09 lembas bread you mean it's not biscuits it's like a nice biscuit Mr Frodo we've only got one Jaffra cake left that was a good accent. I like that. I liked your Samways.
Starting point is 00:12:29 That was pretty good. Thank you. I had to give you kudos. A lot of time in the mirror I've spent doing that. Yeah. Practicing that. As well as admiring your statuesque bronzed body. With a towel around my waist.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah. An old spice in my hand. So yeah, that was that's not going to happen, is it? No, okay. We're fine. So you came over this weekend, didn't you? You spent some time with me and Hannah and we went and we saw people. We saw the PR people of
Starting point is 00:13:01 Blizzard and Rift and an interview with a developer. All very exciting. Sort of the first time we've ever done anything like that, wasn't it? And it was a bit kind of weird. It was racking and strange and I had terrible wind throughout it.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I was that stressed. I was just farting left, right and centre. I didn't know what to do. You know? I thought, either I can keep it bottled up and risk, during the live interview, the video that
Starting point is 00:13:33 just went up. Was it last night or the night before? Last night. Last night, the Rift video that went up in which we interviewed this developer. I was worried that if we interviewed him, if I kept all the wind bottled up... You would have just exploded into a big meaty gore fest. So what's the endgame content like in Rift? You would ask and he said, well, that's an
Starting point is 00:13:55 interesting question. Actually, you were sitting quite close to where we had the microphone thing, so it would have picked it up. It would have been disastrous. As it was, the sound that you can hear on it, that's a drill. It's actually a drill. It's not anything else, no. It wasn't me.
Starting point is 00:14:16 It's not my bowel or my rectum or anything. No part of my body. It was a drill, a metal drill. Okay. Well, we don't know whether it was metal. It might have been made of some carbon fibre material or something like that. They don't, I'm not sure they make,
Starting point is 00:14:29 someone let us know if they make drills out of metal still. Also, question, why don't, why doesn't beer have ice in it? See, I was discussing this. Oh, fuck, not this again. I'm interested. They put in cider, and your response to me was that beer is quite a wet beverage anyway.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Therefore, you know, you don't want to make it any worse. That's what I said word for word there. You're quoting me word for word. Beer is quite a wet drink. That's what I said. You're right. You're absolutely right. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:15:01 So why would a little bit more water like her? I don't know. Maybe it's just... It's just not the done thing is it i mean you put in like a cocktail you put like a like an olive a cherry a little umbrella in the top slice of orange on it sugar around the rim you don't do that with a can of special brew do you you? No. Ridiculous. I suppose. I mean, you do put shandy. You do put, like, lemonade into stuff. So, you know, you're weakening
Starting point is 00:15:31 it in that situation. Do you like a shandy, Simon? You a shandy man? Only a hand one. Oh, God. And on that bombshell, shall we have another bit of music? Yeah, that's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Let's go for the music break. Music break, go! We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. or professional, but I just sort of had a breakdown. Yeah. Always I want to be with you.
Starting point is 00:16:33 I may believe in you. Okay, okay. Copyright reasons, I can't sing it in tune. Yeah, or sing any more than that for copyright reasons. Thank you. that was lovely our host Tasty Morgan what's his name? Amariel has said to us that we should
Starting point is 00:16:53 talk about Minecraft do you want to talk about Minecraft Simon? have you got anything to say? it's a really good game and I've played quite a lot of it you should buy it yeah it's good it a really good game and I've played quite a lot of it. There we go. You should buy it. Yeah, it's good.
Starting point is 00:17:09 It's really good. So yeah, that's it. That's the Minecraft chapter done. Well, I suppose we need to answer questions about it really. But I'm looking down this list of questions and I've got none about Minecraft. Really? That surprises me. That really does surprise me.
Starting point is 00:17:27 It does. So it says here, Simon, this is from Colette. Hello, Colette. Does it freak you out that people use your podcasts and videos as a sleeping aid?
Starting point is 00:17:39 Or do you think it's cool? Sorry? So this is people going to sleep listening to your lovely, melodic, soft voice. Always! I want to be with you! Do you think that... Good night, John Lennon. Good night.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Oh, dear. Do you feel, Simon, that your fame has changed you in any way? I don't think so. I went shopping earlier today when I got back to Putneyshire. I live in Putneyshire. And I was in front of the chilled, already cooked and sliced meat section. And I was looking at the posh chicken and I was thinking, wow, two packs for five quid on really posh sliced chicken.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Or I could get the cheap stuff, two packs for three quid. And I thought, you know, I've got a bit of money, you know. I've got a good you know tenner in my pocket burning a hole shall i buy the posh chicken and um i didn't i just went for the cheap shit so i don't think it has changed you at all is what you're saying other people would say you know i went out i bought a plasma tv i bought a couple of wheeze or you know I bought a plasma TV, I bought a couple of Wiis, or I bought a blue Ferrari. Me, I'm debating what sort of chicken to buy. So there we go.
Starting point is 00:19:13 What else have we got? Hannah's just handed me a piece of paper that says, more queues including Minecraft on queues thread. Okay. Well, that's good news there. I feel like a really professional DJ being handed this piece of paper. Breaking news! More Q's in Q's thread!
Starting point is 00:19:34 On the back of a gas bill, which is charging us £41 for using gas this month. Gas. Gas. We use gas in our house. It's a central heating. Can we play a record? Does it come via Hannah's bum? No.
Starting point is 00:19:55 If you live here, you'll be able to power the house more efficiently. Record. Pete Tasty Morgan. What have we got? Play a record. And I need to pee. We're unable to play music
Starting point is 00:20:15 during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. It went on a bit too long, I think, that one. That version of the magic
Starting point is 00:20:32 dance. And magic dance. Take it away. Such a good singer. I was walking down the high street. We're sounding a bit too much like Adam and Joe. I like...
Starting point is 00:20:45 We need to stop it. Have inspiration from someone. I found a creeper. A Minecraft-related question, Simon. Where did... What? I found a creeper? Where?
Starting point is 00:20:59 What? Where did that come from? It was in the text file. Don't worry. It's dead. I couldn't control it. It exploded. It blew up part of the TXT.
Starting point is 00:21:10 That's a very nice TXT. You have there opening notepad. To say that something was happening to it. The professionalism of our broadcast is amazing. Massive fucking text file here. Imagine this, Simon. You wake up on a lovely Sunday
Starting point is 00:21:26 hang on hang on just gonna lie back okay close my eyes get yourself relaxed so you've just woken up it's a lovely Sunday morning the birds are singing outside there's a bit of sun streaming
Starting point is 00:21:41 through the air not ravens they're lovely twittering birds We've got ravens here We do actually have ravens here So I live near a very large cemetery So Naturally ravens block to it
Starting point is 00:21:58 And just like perch on the gravestones And eye you And make you aware of your own mortality But anyway, continue. So it's a lovely sunny Sunday morning and the birds are singing. Please continue on. And you stretch and climb
Starting point is 00:22:13 out of bed. Stagger outside. You obviously need the bathroom. And there... Oh, Jesus. And there, on a toilet sits Mr. Creeper what is your reaction?
Starting point is 00:22:29 I think I would just like I wouldn't be able to move I'd be paralysed with fear I mean this has happened to me in Minecraft I see a creeper and I just don't react it's like my brain can't handle the situation.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's just too much for me. It turns its head slowly to face you. And it's obviously bugged out because it's not moving towards you. Or maybe it's already having a poo or something and it doesn't want to get up. Is it shitting gunpowder stuff? Well, it does actually look very much like poop, doesn't it? Gunpowder on the graphic that Notch has painstakingly designed. He's not an artist. Got to let him off some of these.
Starting point is 00:23:16 About 30 seconds in MS Paint, probably. So what do I do? How do i react well after you know my brain accepted that i was seeing a real creeper in real life on my toilet um i'd probably unsheath my sword the toilet and maybe under the circumstances a bow and arrow would have been better a better choice yeah there's less innuendo
Starting point is 00:23:54 okay right next question do you still think of Granny Bacon, Simon? Do you have your nights troubled by her passing? When it's cold outside, and I don't know, there's long winter nights at the moment
Starting point is 00:24:19 in this northern hemisphere. And the nights can get quite lonely. And, you know, I don't have anyone. I had Granny Bacon. I had her in her cafe. I had her in Skylord Lysander's basement. What? I had her by the fountains.
Starting point is 00:24:40 What? I had her by the fountains. But since then, you know, I've missed her. There's a big aching hole in me that needs to be filled. Oh, okay. A creeper left it. It exploded. Oh, that happens.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Don't worry. So, yeah. More Minecraft questions. Give Danny a kiss! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
Starting point is 00:25:19 Sorry, what's the other question? I can't seem to find any good ones. Watch the diggy-diggy hole for a bit. No, no, no. We can do that in a minute. What do you think might be in the completed Minecraft? What features would you like to see? I guess he's talking about the...
Starting point is 00:25:38 He's probably talking about the game, but I'd like to know what you think is coming up in the series because you don't really know, and I don't really know very much that's actually going to go on in the series. That's kind of the way it's so good, because we don't have a fucking clue what's going to happen. So what do you think is going to happen? What would you like to happen? Okay, I think that Israfel is going to be like Darth Vader. Israfel is going to be my father.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Israfel is my father, Alan, who is also the name of your father. My father's, oh dear. Both of our dads are called Alan. I think it's fine. We can tell the internet that. Yeah. They won't hack into our Accounts using Information such as that I'm sure they won't trace our fathers
Starting point is 00:26:32 And go lol To them I don't know how anyone's going to be able to Contact our dads anyway, it's not like they're on the Internet, you know, it's not like they're Going to hack into my dad's Facebook And call him a fag or anything who doesn't know my dad doesn't do that and he's too busy anyway my dad he doesn't understand like computers and stuff so i think the only way they'd probably be able to reach him is
Starting point is 00:26:55 by mail they'd have to actually send him a mail he does write letters to the prime minister and such he's one of these my dad's one of these people who does that. He says, Dear Gordon Brown, I'm terribly disappointed in the way you handled the bollocks affair. It was terribly messy. You didn't do it very well at all. I want you to burn on a fire.
Starting point is 00:27:18 What? That's pretty much the messages that my dad sends. I mean, I'm not quite sure they're so strongly worded. No. Dear Gordon Brown, I don't have any personal grudge against you,
Starting point is 00:27:33 but I felt you could have been better as Prime Minister. Lots of love, LOL. Alan. It's not LOL, right? Loads of parents think LOL means lots of love and they all sign things lol yeah means that yeah like i get that yeah so it's like dear lewis here's a package for you with some pants in case you don't wear clean ones. Lol. Mum. Kiss, kiss.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Dear Simon, sorry but your nan died the other day. Lol. No. No. Why are you mocking me? Oh dear. Oh dear.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Oh. Horrible. Oh. Oh. Okay. Good. So that covered our Minecraft questions anyway. Shall I do shout outs to people? I feel we've got to do this. And it's a good point of the show to do it.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Okay. Okay. So this is like executive producer thing. So basically we have this. We had. We still have a podcast. Where we give like. okay okay so this is like executive producer thing so basically we have this we had we still have a podcast where we give like um executive producer title to the person who's donated the most to us since the last podcast um and basically that's just the way it works like on films and tv and stuff when you have when you see all these executive producers come by on the credit reel
Starting point is 00:29:03 they're basically just people who paid money towards the show to get it going. Or, you know, they've got a stake in it, effectively. So they didn't actually do any work. They're just, you know, executive producers. So I think Carlos is like our biggest supporter. Well, the way I see it is executive producers, they support us. Much like a bra supports breasts. You're the left one,
Starting point is 00:29:27 I'm the right one that's slightly bigger, but you're the more sensitive one. And they've supported us by actually giving us hard cash that we can afford to set up things with, like hosting and all
Starting point is 00:29:44 sorts of gubbins that we wouldn't ordinarily be able to do. And one thing we are afford to set up things with like hosting and all sorts of gubbins that we wouldn't ordinarily be able to do. And one thing we are going to do is run Minecraft servers in the future and we're going to try and get at least three or four running and one of them is going to be a museum server where people can walk around our old world.
Starting point is 00:30:00 At the same time we're actually going to work on turning the old world that we you know we did the adventure on our custom world into sort of a custom map that people can play through so we'll probably put a few spiders around we'll probably put a few creature spawners in the dungeons we'll fix up some of the stuff that we broke in the series or break some of the stuff that we fixed in the series so you can fix it yourself kind. Yeah, and all of this will be because of these executive producers. So, of course,
Starting point is 00:30:28 Carlos, that we've already given a mention to, who got kicked from the chat for getting overexcited. Using caps. TB's rules, you know, Total Biscuit's rules, you're not allowed to use
Starting point is 00:30:44 caps. It's like the Queensbury rules It is, the T.B. rules So Carlos Larios, of course from the Canadia land I think that's where he's from He's helped us out a lot and his mother We also have a gentleman named Scott Meek
Starting point is 00:31:01 I don't know where he's from I've got no information about where he lives. He may not be a real person. It might be a nom de plume or a pseudonym. Scott Meek. Thank you very much. Curtis Wellborn of possibly Arizona in the
Starting point is 00:31:18 United States of the Americas. Curtis has been very generous and helped us out, enabled us to continue doing the stuff that we do. Thank you, Curtis. Leonard Ayer-Quinter of Colombia, the United States. I don't know how to pronounce his name. Leonard Ayer-Quinter.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Leonard Ayer-Quinter, who's been very generous. And, oh, Christ. There's been very generous. And, oh Christ. There's another one. A gentleman from Hong Kong. Oh God. Who, he's been really good. You know, I don't have to name him. Do I?
Starting point is 00:31:57 I don't have to shout out. No, I probably should. I probably should. Okay. Oh, please forgive me, Lord. Sikin Sang. Sikin Sang. I probably should Please forgive me Lord Seeking Sang Seeking Sang Seeking Sang of Hong Kong Oh is that his whole name
Starting point is 00:32:12 Sang How is your little Chinese Gold farmer man I'm not going to do a racist Accent After thanking a Chinese guy He's not Chinese, he's from Hong Kong They're not technically
Starting point is 00:32:29 It's China It's an autonomous region isn't it It's not governed by the same It's an ex-British little colony, Hong Kong They all speak English He probably doesn't even have a Chinese accent Chris Patton was the governor Who handed it back over to the Chinese.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Are you not aware of this? Do you have no knowledge of geography or political events and current affairs? No. Have I just... Okay, have I just put my foot in it? Oh, never mind. Never mind. All of our fans in Hong Kong are going to be fucking livid.
Starting point is 00:33:03 So that's going to be... We've probably got hundreds of thousands of fans in Hong Kong. Probably all of Hong Kong are going to be fucking livid. So that's going to be... Hundreds of thousands of fans in Hong Kong. Probably all of Hong Kong are going to be angry. The emails we're going to get at yogscast at gmail.com It's just, I don't know, poor Hannah
Starting point is 00:33:17 is going to have to deal with them. Angry. She's going to have to learn Mandarin in order to... She's going to have to learn whatever the language of Hong Kong is. Yeah, it might not be Mandarin. Maybe it's Mandarin. We don't know. Maybe it's Cantonese.
Starting point is 00:33:31 We don't even know where it is. We don't know if it's part of China or not. So how are we supposed to know what the language is of there? Oh, God. I feel like we need to learn more about the rest of the world. I feel like an American, you know? I feel like I don't to learn more about the rest of the world i feel like an american you know i feel like i don't know anything outside of where i live i'm just offended like all of america now which is actually oh god so i've probably offended millions of our fans in
Starting point is 00:33:59 america now it's okay i think we have a song don't we, to play about America, but I don't know whether it's actually on the official playlist. By the way, is it on the playlist? It's up at number 14. Maybe you could play that one next, Pete, Tasty Morgan. I don't know if you're listening to this. You're our DJ. Also, if you
Starting point is 00:34:20 haven't, just before you play it, the executive producers that we listed will receive lovely gifts of a nature that we don't quite know yet but it will be like special dvd and cds so they thank you we love you and you'll get you'll get special stuff that's all if we produce a dvd we were thinking about it you guys will get one for free so high fives um so yeah Okay Go on play the record now Play record Play Play record
Starting point is 00:34:48 You're such a rancer Play play play And a rambler You're fucking awful Thank you. Digging hole, diggy diggy hole, digging hole. I'm a dwarf and I'm digging hole, diggy diggy hole. That was the Diggy Diggy Hole song by yours truly. Diggy diggy hole. The song, the operatic version is going to come out soon.
Starting point is 00:36:03 What? Not really, not really. I was joking. Could you give us a little rendition of how that might sound if you were a big, fat woman, like a Valkyrie woman, and just belting it out? Okay. I'm going to take my headset off because I think it's going to be loud. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Okay. Was it wise for me to have removed the headset then for that? Why? Because you're quite... No, I think you're still okay, volume-wise. You've not turned into a robot in the past ten... That's good. Because that ten's there. Big shout-out...
Starting point is 00:36:41 Oh God, I can't even fucking talk. It's not being a robot. I can't even get the words out. A big shout out oh god I can't even fucking talk stop being a robot I can't even get the words out a big shout out to Creative and their sound products the hardware for turning me into a robot on a fairly regular basis
Starting point is 00:36:58 thanks Creative good fucking quality control you have there so sorry we were hoping to get sponsored by some good fucking quality control you have there um so we were hoping to get sponsored by some like like audio people so if anyone does make good stuff they can let us
Starting point is 00:37:13 have some we'll like plug the hell out of it yeah we want free stuff we were supposed to be getting a deal with Jaffa Cakes but nothing came out of that oh god damn it that fell through. Are you freaking kidding me here? I feel like I can't swear too much. We haven't actually had any
Starting point is 00:37:30 kind of sponsorship but maybe soon. Simon, actually on this topic we've had a few questions. Congratulations on getting so many subs. 150k now. Did you have any idea that the channel would be this big back
Starting point is 00:37:47 when where you did the extreme dueling things and all that good stuff back in the day how does it feel to have so many subs those were the good days weren't they when um we were poor when we didn't have all these cars um wait hang on i don't have any cars do i because i got towed away um i'll tell the story of this so i mean you woke up one morning yeah yeah my friends on facebook the ognauts have added on facebook already know this um and the people following us on twitter on the ogscast twitter as well but we um But we... I had a bit of an incident because I technically broke the law by not
Starting point is 00:38:29 taxing my car, which you have to do in this country. Yeah. It was seven weeks without tax and I got woken up at quarter past nine in the morning, which is an unholy hour to be awoken, with my housemate.
Starting point is 00:38:51 He called me and he said, Simon, did you know your car's being towed away? Which I think it's a somewhat rhetorical question he asked there. Because, you know, obviously I didn't know that my car was being towed away, because otherwise I wouldn't have been in bed just happily dreaming of Tina Barrett drenched in Jaffa Cakes. So yeah, I rushed downstairs in my night clothes, as I call them, my undershirt, my, my long Johns on rushed out into the streets and I confronted the gentleman who was towing away my car.
Starting point is 00:39:34 I was actually quite polite to him and he was quite polite to me. So, you know, you have to be like that in these situations. And he explained that I wasn't going to see my car again unless I gave him a fuckload of money. So I wasn't using the car. I hadn't used it in, what was it, 14 months?
Starting point is 00:39:55 Like last Christmas was when I last drove my car. Didn't it break down, though, and you couldn't be bothered to get it to have an MOT? So it didn't have an mot either i think it's best that we don't go into all the details like everything every law that i've fucking broken thank you lewis also there was a dead hooker in the trunk yeah uh so it's been crushed now so you're all in the clear. Well, it will be crushed, I think, in a few days' time.
Starting point is 00:40:32 You get sent an invitation to the crushing, so I'd quite like to see that. Oh, my God. To me, it's like having a sick dog and you have to have it put to sleep. I don't want to be there. I don't want to be there stroking my car and saying you're just going to go to sleep and you're going to wake up and you're going to be able to play in the fields
Starting point is 00:40:52 of heaven because that's what cars do we're driving around the race tracks in the sky the Top Gear test track in heaven yeah that's what someone asked what do you think about jeremy clarkson what do i think of him i think he's quite a funny bloke i think he's probably
Starting point is 00:41:15 quite a likable bloke um i think i would get on with him because we're both um sort of grumpy old buggers. He's quite older than I am, but still. He's about seven foot tall, isn't he? He's like a giant. He's not seven foot tall, is he? He's not literally seven foot tall. He's not Hodor from A Game of Thrones. No, that's true. but moving on to that topic we possibly are getting to speak
Starting point is 00:41:47 to the man who plays hodor in the upcoming hbo series of a game of thrones written by george yeah r martin who is a twice and um both times i wasn't around the first time and the second time you had to go and pick hannah up from somewhere so the timing has been completely off but we did have a little chat with him yeah didn't record anything just a chat friendly chat and he's a really nice bloke he refused to say the the whole thing that hodl is famous for is that even though he's not he's not a stupid giant man, but the only thing that he says is his name. Yeah, he's got like a speech impediment or something, hasn't he, I suppose.
Starting point is 00:42:32 He's got sort of a brain impediment, slightly. He's just not very good with language, that's all. And he's quite a big character, not just literally, but he's a corner big character. Not just literally. But he's a cornerstone character
Starting point is 00:42:47 in the series, really. I don't know. He's a side character. But he's not like... He's not integral to the plot. He's not like Sean Bean's character. So yeah. It's obviously a series of books that we've read before. And we should probably save it for the podcast where we actually interview it,
Starting point is 00:43:06 but that's coming up. Lots of good stuff coming up. We're having an interview in the Shaft podcast, which is like the diggy hole. We have to arrange that, yeah, that's coming up. Oh, it's soon, isn't it? It's like in a week and a bit or something.
Starting point is 00:43:22 So that'll be good. They'll ask us all sorts of questions about Minecraft. That's kind of why we're leaving it on this, because we have to find other things to talk about. We're not a Minecraft channel, are we, specifically? We just do an awful lot of Minecraft videos. Yeah, because we like it. Because it's an amazing freaking game that we enjoy playing. And because it's such a sandbox game,
Starting point is 00:43:42 and you can do so much with it, you're allowed to be creative in it, which is great such a sandbox game and you can do so much with it, you're allowed to be creative in it, which is great in a computer game, because so many of them follow such a linear, sort of strict story that you have no real freedom to do things in. Whereas in Minecraft, you can create whole worlds, you can populate them with your friends, you can have little adventures of your own. And I'd like to, you know, hope that we inspire people
Starting point is 00:44:09 to create their own little worlds and have their own adventures. Do you get ridiculously annoyed when people spam, Minecraft now! all the time? Do you get that? It's quite annoying because we do so many Minecraft videos.
Starting point is 00:44:26 You know, they have plenty to go on. Yeah. I mean, look at C-Nanus. He puts out one like every
Starting point is 00:44:32 freaking ages and gets like more views than we do and he just... Let's not diss C-Nanus. He's... No, let's not diss him. Let's not even go there.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Let's not diss him. He's a nice bloke. He's a nice bloke. He's still like a rival not diss him he's a nice bloke it's like a rival thing but he's still a nice bloke yeah but yeah I mean we if people want more Minecraft then they can watch our older videos
Starting point is 00:44:55 or maybe watch another channel's videos shock horror because they know that there will be more Minecraft in a day or two from us anyway because we release videos so regularly so just have
Starting point is 00:45:12 a little bit of fucking patience thank you very much our Yognauts our dear friends and supporters here's a question it does annoy me am I still annoyed at that time Simon pulled the side trash
Starting point is 00:45:28 in Bastion of Twilight? Yes. I actually mentioned that yesterday. I bring it up on a regular basis. It's a sticking point which I remind Simon regularly. One quick question from Dr. Hobnob. Are we ever going to finish our D&D podcasts?
Starting point is 00:45:47 Because they were really good and people liked them. Oh, God. I like to think that what we're doing with Minecraft has sort of replaced that. You know, we're sort of having a D&D adventure in that, essentially, aren't we? Yeah, but I mean, the D&D podcast we did, we brought in a few different people, didn't we? And we mixed it up with a few different people didn't we and we mixed it up a few different people so i think that it's definitely conceivable that we can bring in like um someone to our custom maps of minecraft like perhaps total biscuit and get him to play minecraft with us although he has outright refused to do such a thing but i think persuade him lewis i think we can persuade him you know yeah i think i think he
Starting point is 00:46:21 owes us we've done this magicka thing and i had to put up with him murdering me repeatedly i think he owes us. He's the Mismagica thing. And I had to put up with him murdering me repeatedly. I think he bloody well flipping. Anyway, I'm going to throw something. He bloody well owes us. He's going to be my bitch. That's what I'm saying. I figure that what I just said there there that's the test to see whether
Starting point is 00:46:45 he listens into this or not yeah okay if we hear from him now i'll have known that he's listened to this so there we go oh god we had this conference call uh didn't we and we were basically we were recording it for total because he couldn't turn up so we had this conference call with these people and then which is very professional and it was couldn't turn up. So we had this conference call with these people. Which is very professional and it was a very serious conversation that we had. And we were just listening in the whole time. And at the end,
Starting point is 00:47:13 I said to Simon, I don't think TotalBiscuit can listen through to this whole thing. And then Simon said no. And I said, shall we put a secret little password in or something so if he is listening to this, he'll be able to let us know. And what did you do at that exact moment? At that exact moment with amazing spot on split second timing,
Starting point is 00:47:38 I removed my headset. I put it down between my legs and I blew off loudly. It was a beautiful loudly. It was a beautiful moment. It was a really crisp, round, wonderful fart. It was a perfectly formed fireball. Like a snowball.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Oh, a fireball. Crisp and round. I think of like a Street Fighter 2 fireball kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken! It was perfect. So...
Starting point is 00:48:08 Biscuit got hit by it and he went Ah! Ah! Ah! You lose! Dun dun! Dun dun! Okay. Record. Let's play a record. Let's play a record. Good idea.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Oh my God. We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. Ho, ho, ho, ho ho ho ho! Ah, classic, classic song. You like that, Lewis? Yeah,
Starting point is 00:48:52 it's one of my faves, along with the next one, which we won't spoil the surprise. It's a good one. Oh, people are going to literally shit their pants. They're going to literally literally shit their pants. They go to literally shit their pants. Shit their pants.
Starting point is 00:49:07 So, you've got more questions for me. Yep. Lots of people want to know the story of the very first time when you were young and you put the first Jaffa cake to your lips and you
Starting point is 00:49:24 bit in and tasted sweet nectar of orange. Now, actually, I have to be a little bit pedantic here. I did not bite into my first Jaffa. Oh. What happened was that my mother was getting very sore breastfeeding me. Right. I was about seven years old at the time oh so she took to liquidizing down sweet products to give me instead of milk and i i wouldn't take to them
Starting point is 00:49:56 she tried obviously she tried cow's milk to start with and i didn't like that at all. And then she tried liquidized hobnobs and they didn't really go down that well. No, no. Hobnobs? How do you liquidize a hobnob? It would just make a sort of crackly kind of cardboardy
Starting point is 00:50:18 It would be like bran flakes. You add sort of like a little bit of milk to it to make a puree and then she'd put that in a bottle and then try and feed it me, but I didn't take to it. And after the hobnobs, she tried Oreos. Oreos. And I didn't really like them much either, and it also left my new little teeth all blackened and weird. Oh dear.
Starting point is 00:50:50 So that was quite horrible. But then, as they say, the third time is the charm. Third product that she tried was Jaffa Cakes but instead of milk, she used a bit of tea. Delicious brew. So, this delicious mushed up Jaffa with a bit of warm tea
Starting point is 00:51:13 put into a bottle and I took to that like a duck takes to water. I swam around in it. I stuck my arse in the air. So it was a bath. Was it a bath full of Jaffa cakes?
Starting point is 00:51:29 Full of Jaffa and tea. Or was it like an inflatable paddling pool? An inflatable paddling pool full of Jaffa and tea. She would spray me with a hose of tea directly from the kettle. From the teapot even. Oh tea directly from the kettle from the teapot even oh god from the kettle my dad would just throw Jaffa Cakes at me
Starting point is 00:51:51 and they would like land in the pool because I was a terrible catch back then yeah and I would just I would be like a happy as a pig in shit I was delighted it's as a pig in shit, as they say. I was delighted. It's been a lovely little conversation, this little bit, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:52:10 Yeah. It's been delightful. What is the answer? Oh, no. Okay. First of all, I mean, what do you think the – my brain has just oozed out of my ears at that question. What is the answer, Simon, to life, the universe, and everything?
Starting point is 00:52:30 And you're not allowed to do the clichéd one. Okay, the actual answer. Yeah. Life, the universe, and everything. Minecraft. Minecraft. No, no, no no no give Honeydew
Starting point is 00:52:48 46 space 1 is that right or is that half a door I forget the answer to life the universe and everything is half a door that's quite philosophical actually half a door that probably means something what is the sound of half a door closing I think that's quite philosophical actually half a door that's probably like
Starting point is 00:53:05 that probably means something sound of half a door closing i think that's what athene did in his video where he like spent a year coming up with neuroscience bullshit and that's what he came to in the end of all the crap all the crap don't realize that he's just a massive troll yet yeah he's for real. It's terrible. They're all actors. Do you not realise Athene is an actor playing a role in the videos.
Starting point is 00:53:30 He's not actually like that. Well, the thing is we are actually like this though, aren't we? You are actually like that. Yeah. You're not a character. You're not like...
Starting point is 00:53:41 I do the silly voices in public and everything. Oh, God. were in like a flipping Brazilian Portuguese cocktail bar place with like the blizzard PR man PR for blizzard
Starting point is 00:53:55 in the UK UK head of PR for blizzard and Simon's sitting across him from the table and we were talking about Ironforge and Simon just went in the dwarf voice you just yelled at him it was so loud that it kind of his hair got blown backwards slightly off his head he's not got much hair he didn't have yeah and like every you know all these attractive like brazilian looking barmaidsids just jumped, spilled their lime.
Starting point is 00:54:28 I think he liked it, though, secretly. You couldn't tell from the expression of shock on his face that he enjoyed it. I think deep down, he thought, wow, that was amazing. Simon's incredible. He enjoyed it, yeah. Oh, my God. Follow me. Yeah, you should have said that.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Follow me! Yeah, I should have. Oh, goodness me. So, Simon, how many hours a day do you spend making videos or podcasts and generally working towards the yog material? How much time do you think you spend? Maybe about 15 minutes or so a day. You spend about 14 hours a day
Starting point is 00:55:10 working on it. But, you know, I'm lazy. What can I say? I need to do more work for our videos, which would be good because it means that there will be more content for people to watch, more videos. So, I mean, obviously we've been coming up with these Parry Grip songs. I heard you were thinking of doing a new
Starting point is 00:55:34 one. I heard a rumour that you'd be proposing a new one. I am. We're keeping that secret though, aren't we? We're keeping it secret. Do you want to... I mean, it's obviously a set formula, isn't it? It's like a set format of an ready it's like a format of um an animal doing something silly so there was a penguin going shopping you know which is just crazy a penguin going shopping what the hell and um it's crazy and the other thing was a chimpanzee
Starting point is 00:56:06 riding a Segway. Imagine that. A chimpanzee riding a Segway! So you were trying to come up with new ones yesterday, weren't you? I was coming up with the most ridiculous suggestions. I can't
Starting point is 00:56:22 remember them. I'll just have to make up some new ones. A horse Cleaning His car A horse cleaning his car A giraffe performing Open heart surgery It's quite a good one Someone write that down
Starting point is 00:56:43 He could look over the operating table And get a good one. Someone write that down. He could look over the operating table and get a good view. It's quite good. It's quite an appropriate activity for a giraffe. Someone write that down. We need to keep track of these. That's a good one. What else
Starting point is 00:57:00 could we have? A lion having a bit of a lion. Okay. Sleepy lion. I'm a sleepy lion and
Starting point is 00:57:15 I'm having a lion. It's a bit too slow and also I think that was the Lord of the Rings song. That was the Lord of the Rings song. That was the Lord of the Rings. Shit. Yeah. Damn. So I probably can't use that.
Starting point is 00:57:32 I'd get into trouble. Well, we should move on probably anyway. Yeah. Just in case Peter Jackson sues us. No, he'll be alright. He'll probably watch the Yogscast. He's probably taking ideas for making the Yogscast film.
Starting point is 00:57:47 It'll be full budget. Who would you like to play Honeydew in the big budget Peter Jackson New Zealand remake of Shadow of Israfil? Who would you like to play you? That's a good question to put out there, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:58:03 I'm interested in hearing what other people would suggest. But who would I want to play as me? Who do you think could play the characters? I mean, if you did like the Game of Thrones, obviously, what's going on? I'd like Christian Nairn to play me. He's not a dwarf, technically, is he? You're supposed to be a dwarf.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Oh, right, yeah. It works, doesn't it? Because in The Lord of the Rings, Gimli was played by a massive Welshman or whatever, wasn't he? Like seven foot tall because they had to shrink him
Starting point is 00:58:36 in proportion to the hobbits. He had to be bigger than the hobbits. Brian Blessed as Honeydew. Oh, yes. That would work. they shrink him down oh my god of course of course who else who else but brian blessed who who would you like to play
Starting point is 00:58:55 um lewis that's you lewis in um the movie of the august cast i don't know. It would have to be like someone from, like, maybe Chris Parham. I'm thinking... I'm thinking... Nicholas Lindhurst. Nicholas Lindhurst. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:21 That's a good one. There's some really good suggestions in here, actually. Kate Hudson. That's a good one there's some really good suggestions in here actually that's a good suggestion Matt Damon yeah that would be alright that would work who would Rowan Atkinson I think he could play you Johnny English I don't know
Starting point is 00:59:36 who would be all peculiar and like Daisy Daisy would have to be Megan Fox I think oh wow hmm I don't know old peculiar that's quite a tricky one
Starting point is 00:59:55 I think it's got to be someone who's quite old but someone who can still sort of kick ass oh my god Captain Picard of course Captain Picard oh man that works doesn't it? We'd have to give him some hair, though. Not the actor who plays Captain Picard, but actually Captain Picard.
Starting point is 01:00:13 Oh, okay. Yeah. But that's kind of weird, because we've already got one Star Trek... I mean, I'm... Sorry, we've got... William Riker and Captain Picard playing old Peculiar. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Okay. My mind is blown. Okay. While people continue to post their suggestions for who they want to star in the Yogscast film as who, you have to put name and actor. You can't just have names
Starting point is 01:00:44 randomly. We will play a record and you're gonna love this one it's a true classic number one in many countries over and over so many times it's just such a legend play press button we're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. You're listening to Nordrassel Radio. This is the Oxcast. That was the... song by some Russian guy.
Starting point is 01:01:27 It's a song about being a cowboy, isn't it? Eduard Kill. I think what happened was it was written during a time when they couldn't say things. When men were real men. The curtain was coming down. And so he couldn't. It was all the lyrics were censored.
Starting point is 01:01:44 So he submitted the lyrics were censored so he submitted the censored the lyrics to the authorities and they said oh no i can't do a rush neck how do i do no he can't have another go um they said oh no you cannot do that no no no they said you're not allowed any of those lyrics so he didn't have any lyrics so he had any lyrics. So he had to just do the things. Rather like Scatman John doing his
Starting point is 01:02:12 scatting. These are some really good suggestions here. Good suggestions in the chat for who should play us in the Yogscast movie. We have Vojtas, whoever the hell that is, uh knights peculiar should be played by sean connery sean connery terrible accent uh lewis should be rowan atkinson brian blessed
Starting point is 01:02:35 playing me israfel should be played by the ghost of michael jackson that is an amazing suggestion i love that father father braben should be played by the episode of Red Dwarf, which featured Elvis made out of wax. I think it was called Waxworks, was it? Waxworld. I don't know. Elvis from Waxworld and Red Dwarf. Someone suggested that you be played by the guy that plays Father Jack in Father Ted.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Just the angry, drunk priest. Granny Bacon played by Maggie Smith, which would be lovely. No. I'm thinking more Dame Helen Mirren as Granny. Because you know what? I probably still would. I probably still
Starting point is 01:03:22 would. What was that thing you said earlier about you wanting a Stannister lift as a means of transportation? I was complaining because in the last few days I've done so much walking around. My calves are rock hard. My muscles are so tense. I need a bit of a massage. I did say, you know, Lewis, I could use a massage. You can bounce a bullet off those calves at the moment.
Starting point is 01:03:48 They are like, they are, my God. It's like Christian Bale has just Batman's ear, you know. It's like his chest, but your calves. Where is she? Where is she? Sorry, that's my Christian Bale. So we were doing, that's my Christian pale so we would do we would
Starting point is 01:04:07 that's what we're saying we were stair lift there was a stair lift what I was suggesting was that because
Starting point is 01:04:15 it's so it's such a long walk between like train stations and say your house and like
Starting point is 01:04:24 the bus stop and my house here and there's just so much walking involved i mean the journey is long enough by like train and tube and the bus but there's also like an hour of walking involved as well and i was suggesting why don't we just set up a stannis stairlift as like a monorail system between our houses and that way i could just hop on the seat and just slowly move home just slowly drift like floating like an old ghost have you have you ever ridden on a stanis air lift though they do go so slowly i remember as a kid i was like thinking it was like a roller coaster and then it's a roller coaster yeah i had some old woman going she goes along it she goes helting up the stairs yeah but i mean oh god can
Starting point is 01:05:15 you imagine if like all of the public transport system in some alternate reality all like the trains and roads are all stannis stairlift equivalent you know like a very very available we should say stanner a lot of um a lot of advertising maybe we could get a sponsorship deal with stanner and maybe they could set up the fucking stannis stairlift monorail between our houses it would be amazing if they could do that anyone If anyone from Stana is listening, that'd be amazing. Could you get on that, please?
Starting point is 01:05:49 In the next month, preferably. Yeah. Oh, dear. Okay, questions. What sort of questions? If you were naked in bed, lying between Cheryl Cole and Alan Carr,
Starting point is 01:06:06 which one would you turn your back to? Oh, my God. Wow. That's an amazing question. That's clever. Very clever. Because obviously if you turn your back on Alan Carr to embrace Cheryl Cole, then you leave yourself open to being violated.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Because as a gay man, he would most certainly just rape me. He would certainly take that as a suggestion. I don't think Alan Carr would touch me even with yours, Lewis. Really? Just because he's gay doesn't mean he would naturally want to have it off with me because I'm a man I don't think it quite works like that but at the same time unfortunately yeah unfortunately holds that Cheryl Cole probably wouldn't be too happy with me just fondling her I think it says quite a lot about your personality though that you are basically just lying in bed
Starting point is 01:07:06 with Cheryl Cole and you've been on a bender you know I can't remember quite what happened but I got into this situation maybe we were on a chat show maybe we were on Alan Carr's chat show or the X Factor you know I don't know
Starting point is 01:07:22 maybe a bit of both the three of us ended up going home together to my place um in fairness i probably would have rather have gone to one of their houses because it would probably be a lot nicer you know they've they got a lot of money they're famous people they probably live in palaces don't they well i mean your room would you like to describe the room that you're in at the moment? I don't think I should really give too much personal information
Starting point is 01:07:50 away, but it's not the biggest place. If you stretch your left arm out, can you reach the wall? Yes. And if you stretch your right arm out, can you reach the other wall? Oh, that's a good, Hang on. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:08:06 I don't think so. No. There's about a foot... There's about a foot off. So there is room to, like, spin around like a child. I could literally spin a cat. What's it called? Swing a cat. I could swing a cat, literally, in this room.
Starting point is 01:08:22 I don't know. Not a big cat. Not like a lion or something. But then I would want to grab a lion by the tail and start attempting to pick it up and swing it about. Because one, I don't think I'll be able to pick it up. I'm not that strong. And two,
Starting point is 01:08:38 just like pulling on the tail of a lion would probably piss it off. It would turn around and it would go rawr! Why are you doing that? Or something. Yeah, I mean, that's a Parry Grip song right there. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:08:53 It's a lion having his tail pulled. Or something. Yeah, oh, dear. So, Simon. Uh-huh? If I was your girlfriend, what kind of a... Sorry, what? Okay, this is a strange question, but if I was your girl...
Starting point is 01:09:10 It's not even a dognaut who wrote this question in, it's just you asking me. What kind of a first date would you treat me to? Oh, do you know what? I'd treat you like a princess. Because that's what you are to me. You're my little princess. Would you buy me some jewellery or anything? Would you buy me a gift? I'll give you a pearl necklace. Yeah, I'll put a ring on your finger as well.
Starting point is 01:09:41 No, okay, let's stop that. Move on to the next question there. If you had to be either a panda, a bat, a frog, or a bunny for a day, which would you choose? I'd like to be a panda because then maybe I'll be invited to
Starting point is 01:09:57 fucking LA. Go! Nice. Wow. So many people aren't going to get that But that's fine While we're throwing out these weird references What is your favourite kind of jam And did you
Starting point is 01:10:13 Ever Retrieve that jam That was sent up into space No It's far too far away Even if I travelled at the speed of light, it would take me ages to get there. Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:30 At least a parsec to get there at the speed of light. Wow. Especially if I went there via the Kessel Run. Yeah, or the Stanner stairlift that's been set up specifically to deliver the jam back When it comes to jam, I did actually have some jam when I was over at yours
Starting point is 01:10:51 Yesterday morning, actually Did you open the new jam? I didn't open the new jam and this is what it comes down to, right? Wasn't it Strawberry Jam? The unopened one that you had? Have you opened the Apricot Jam then? I didn't open any
Starting point is 01:11:07 new jam. What? I used the Marmalade one. Oh. That's not jam though. That's Marmalade. It is Marmalade. So, based on the option of all of these different jams that you had, this vast selection of jam
Starting point is 01:11:23 that you proffered me. I did. I turned it down. I refused and I instead went for the marmalade that Hannah had. On my four slices of toast that I had. I was really hungry. I was so hungry that morning. It was just insane.
Starting point is 01:11:40 And it was fibre, which is good because the previous day I've been farting constantly. I figured that it would do me good to have a bit of delicious homey or wheaty goodness inside of my belly. Okay. Well, if people want to let us know in the chat what kind of jam they prefer, what they have in the evening... What? Yeah, we're going to do this. I've decided every break...
Starting point is 01:12:04 What kind of jam do you like? I'm going to find out. I'm going to ask some inane question to the people in the chat channel. So let us know the jam and here's some music. Play it. Play it, jam.
Starting point is 01:12:19 We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. Hello. I think we're on, Lewis. I think we're on. Whoops.
Starting point is 01:12:40 Hello, everyone. We are terrible podcasters. Was there a moment of silence there where awkwardly everyone wondered if they were still tuned in or not? That happens. We went to the loo. It was quite a long one. A long song.
Starting point is 01:12:56 We did go together. We're in different houses. You've been drinking a lot, Lewis. We each individually visited the bathroom and had a little break. People have been saying what jams they like. People want us to mention, you know, say to Brian Blessed. See what he says since he's the expert. Someone said Pearl Jam.
Starting point is 01:13:17 I love all jam! He likes all of the jam. Every kind of jam in the world. Oh, delicious. Delicious. He likes all of the jam Every kind of jam in the world Oh delicious Delicious So yeah I've got a question for you Lewis Oh okay I've got a question for you So how did you and Hannah meet
Starting point is 01:13:37 Oh What really No no no I've got a different question You know how we met actually actually. You were there. I was there. People should start asking you, really. It was a bit creepy that I was there. It felt like a spare wheel.
Starting point is 01:13:54 Oh. A gooseberry. That's a delicious jam. They make lovely jam. And also, I didn't know you had a spare wheel in your car. I thought you got rid of it because of the dead car in the boot. I just got an invitation on Facebook to attend the funeral of my car. Oh.
Starting point is 01:14:14 That would be good. Is it like an execution where you have a glass room and they draw the curtain and then you can see the crusher? Oh, my God. That's horrible. Or is it like... Statistic Bastards? Or is it more like Robot Wars where there's just everyone
Starting point is 01:14:32 out round the edge cheering as they smash it up. Sir Killalot is going to take apart my car. I just hate it. It slowly goes backwards and falls into a pit. It explodes in a dramatic fashion.
Starting point is 01:14:51 Typical female robot. I miss Robot Wars. It's probably still on. I don't know what I'm saying. I miss it. It's probably still on. There's still this question I have to ask that you've ignored. A genuine question. Is there there's still this question I have to ask that you've sort of
Starting point is 01:15:05 ignored, a genuine question is there anything, any big sort of structure in Minecraft that you really want to make but you haven't had the patience to do no there's nothing
Starting point is 01:15:19 anything I want to make I say to someone to make it and then they don't make it they make something else I have actually made and I can tell this to people because this is okay in the Minecraft series I have made
Starting point is 01:15:35 one thing and it got put in to the series I didn't know whether it would I made the hot air balloon that is outside Fumblemore's tower and it got put in to the series i didn't know whether it would i made the hot air balloon that is outside fumble moore's tower and it got put in the series outside the tower but that's the only thing i ever seen stuff that people don't know about and we're not revealing the whole thing yeah just a little bit so that's a little know that we are just the most incompetent people ever
Starting point is 01:16:01 to build so there's absolutely no way that we could have built any of the stuff that you guys have seen but yeah hot air balloon it took me a bloody long time actually to do that i just faffed around forever i was really proud of it though it's a nice hot air balloon it's a really nice one you should be proud of that i am very proud of you what's the best thing you've ever built in minecraft oh god um i i don't know i've made some really nice sort of houses before and what i do is i sort of make them they they look like a shakespearean sort of cottage an elizabethan cottage i should should say, with the white plaster walls that I make out of bits of wool, and I use timber, wood, as the frames of the house, nice big
Starting point is 01:16:59 windows, but I always, always do this, right? I get to the roof, and I think i think well i'm not very good at a roof i don't really know how to do it properly if you put like stairs on it it looks weird half blocks doesn't look quite right so what i end up doing is i always put like a garden on the top i make a little garden and i i have like grass growing up there. Oh, yeah. In order to have grass up there, you have to like make a sort of a staircase out of dirt. Gradually. Ground. Gradually grow the grass up the staircase of dirt.
Starting point is 01:17:33 The grass jumps up. That's a nice sort of. It's like a fire exit. Yeah. And then I usually put like a little pool or pond up there, a few trees, which is quite nice. But I just always end up doing that that is a very odd house yeah i don't know what it is it's strange isn't it i don't put a roof on there i put a garden as the roof i just always end up doing it it's like some
Starting point is 01:17:57 new age kind of like yeah i guess yeah like on the on our multiplayer server the one in which we sort of are free to mess around on Hmm the that Pat's very kindly set up. Thanks, Pat Big shout out to Pat my homie my dog out there My house in that we've got like a castle and it's divided up into plots of land and I have my own very own plot of land yeah the house that I have my very own plot of land. Yeah. The house that I built originally resembled sort of like a block of flats and it was hideous and I knocked it down and I realised that what I sort of wanted was something more natural. So again, I ended up having sort of a garden on top because I ended up building a hobbit
Starting point is 01:18:44 hole. Yeah, and they do have grass covering the doorway. Yeah, grass around the top, and I've got trees growing above it, and someone kindly placed even more trees on top of it, which means that it's too dark above my house, and I get grass falling up there, falling down, and blowing up the entrance of my my house which isn't quite so nice um but yeah again i just end up going for something sort of like hippie-ish which is weird because i'm really not like that at all at least i didn't think so it's very strange
Starting point is 01:19:18 i tried to build like a kind of italian villa out of like white cloth and stone slabs and it was going quite well actually until you like wrote on the side of it in pink cloth yeah yeah that was that was a joy i also filled it with ice so that if you tried to punch the ice it would break and just flood your house which isn't very wasn't very nice of me. No. But yeah, so this is like a zombie. A server that we've got. A zombie server. Private server, and it's kind of got loads of mods on it.
Starting point is 01:19:54 And it's just somewhere for us to fuck about when we want to have a bit of a chill out from everything else that we do on the Minecraft. So private, personal server. You're not invited. You, listening now server you're not invited you listening now you're not invited to it but we might have a little do a little tour of it for some i think we should do we should make some videos of the place and show people and also we put in a few things that some good yognauts have built and sent us actually mean, you know, we do appreciate
Starting point is 01:20:25 and want to see the stuff that you guys have built. So send it to yogscast.gmail.com. If it doesn't have screenshots, it'll probably get deleted. And also,
Starting point is 01:20:36 nothing too fucking enormous. I don't want like, you know, I don't want like, ugh, just an enormous... I've built all of Manhattan to scale. Would you like to see it? That enormous... I've built all of Manhattan to scale.
Starting point is 01:20:45 Would you like to see it? That's not what I want. That would be amazing, actually. Someone probably has done that out there. Good grief. We'll have to see. So yeah, more questions about Minecraft. Loads of people want to know stuff,
Starting point is 01:20:59 like behind the scenes stuff. But I think in future, we will go back and have a look and do a tour and like like i said we're going to put up the server so people can come and have a look around themselves i like i think a lot of people have who have looked around the server when we put the museum up and i think it might even be up now i don't know we'll have to talk to pat it might be going up this week um yeah you know you can you you can see that there's so much stuff that we never used in the series when we've had a a walk around it, we're like, oh shit, what the fuck's this?
Starting point is 01:21:28 That's kind of cool. Also, we have random people from the series just popping on and stuff. Scaring people. Yeah. They're not very well behaved, mostly. So yeah, what else? Do you have anything to say about minecraft things i don't want to really do any spoilers that's the problem well i think you know that we'll we'll move on to
Starting point is 01:21:52 something else we have recorded we have recorded a couple of episodes haven't we so yeah tomorrow it's coming where we go into the skull and oh my god my God. I can't wait to see that. Yeah, that was pretty weird. So we recorded another about an hour or something, so we've got a couple of... I should have enough for about two or three episodes, but it takes a while to edit it all together because a lot of the time...
Starting point is 01:22:23 The biggest thing with the editing altogether is that Simon's voices are often off timing wise and we have to adjust them all into positions so they actually fit a bit. Because we talk over each other a lot as well and it's a bit messy. I don't know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 01:22:38 We never talk over each other. It's not just render, upload. It would be very, very messy. So all the stuff goes on behind the scenes but you don't notice that because that's part takes time. It's not just render, upload, because it would be very, very messy. So all this stuff goes on behind the scenes, but you don't notice that because that's part of the magic. You don't have to... Again, a little bit of behind-the-scenes stuff there.
Starting point is 01:22:54 See, it was worth tuning into this and listening. See, you've seen just a few secrets from us. What was the other question that someone asked? Someone asked quite a serious question about the video game industry. Okay, well, we'll save that. We've already talked about Minecraft, and I want us to have the Minecraft song.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Oh, okay, that someone did. All right, good. Let's hit that. Could we have that, please? Thank you. Play button. We're unable to play music During podcast So next time guys Make sure to listen live
Starting point is 01:23:31 Now back to Simon and Louis That's a very nice Song you have there It'd be a shame if something were to happen to it Like being played on the address of the radio. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:53 I thought that was a really cool song when I found that on the YouTubes. I thought that was really cool. If only we could do things as cool as that. Oh. I don't have the musical talent, Lewis. I end up singing terrible Parry Grip songs and stuff. Maybe we could, like, get you some training in the musical arts.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Did you ever play any musical instruments as a kid? Were you ever any? Skin flu? No. I couldn't play anything at all. I couldn't play anything at all. I think for the third year at school, when I would have been 14 at the end of the year,
Starting point is 01:24:35 that was the last time I did music. And for the end of year, big musical extravaganza project, I played Twinkle twinkle little star over and over but on the electric keyboard i switched it to different instruments wow because it was the only thing i learned to play because it's really really easy to play um isn't that just tragic that's amazing that is like it's really 80s though it's like the limit of my musical talents just playing twinkle twinkle little star um i played a little bit of guitar hero around yours a while back didn't i oh yeah you were quite good with the old really yeah well that's playing the bass doing like asking your grand to do it or something though i'm sorry
Starting point is 01:25:25 it's a bit like asking your granddad to play you know come play guitar here and you were you got into it but you weren't very good were you oh my god you just said i was good and then you just ended up just taking it back i think at the time i called you to give you encouragement, positive reinforcement. But it was just a lie. I think your talents lie elsewhere. What would be your specialist subject on Mastermind? That's a question that we hear a lot.
Starting point is 01:25:56 That's one hell of a question. A particular subject that I feel that I know a lot about. Oh my God. It's a hard one, isn't it? It is a lot about. Oh my god. It's a hard one, isn't it? It is a hard one. I'm quite a nerd, so I think it would have to be something fairly nerdy. Basically, it would be something that would be of no practical use whatsoever.
Starting point is 01:26:18 It's that sort of knowledge that people have on Mastermind. Science fiction films of the 1990s. It would be something like that. That's the kind of thing they have on Mastermind. Science fiction films of the 1990s. I mean, that's... Something like that. That's the kind of thing they have on Mastermind, though, isn't it? Like, really specific, like, you know, EastEnders from 1988 to 1992. It would just be, like, movies or something terrible, wouldn't it?
Starting point is 01:26:40 A specific sort of sub-genre. Horror movies of the 1980s based on the works of Clive Barker yeah brilliant I mean really nothing no one ever picks anything that's really useful do they
Starting point is 01:26:58 no I mean no one chooses sort of anything to do with politics or I mean, no one chooses sort of anything to do with politics or anything to do with... If you choose too broad a subject, though... Why are we getting into the mechanics of Mastermind? Who gives a shit?
Starting point is 01:27:14 Okay. Simon. What kind of games do you want to play next and record them and put them on YouTube? I want to play Mastermind, the game. Oh, no you don't is it like a dvd game you play in front of the telly is there probably is one it cut it's like a board game or something but you open the box and there isn't a board there's just a dvd that you put in yeah
Starting point is 01:27:36 probably that um do you remember like i remember having like a board game called some some terrible name and it actually was like one of the first ones that came in the vhs and you played the vhs and it's sort of welcome to my quiz was it that kind of thing yeah and it was kind of i can't remember this this is it's a long long long time ago and basically i seem to remember that you just had to keep leaving the vhs playing and it got ever more frantic as it went on so you kind of ran out of time don't you know what the capital of peru is it was exactly like that it was it was i think it was horror based actually and it was quite creepy it had like the emperor doing like the the video and he got gradually more old as it went on, and red eyes.
Starting point is 01:28:28 God, if anyone can remember what that is, let me know. Yeah, let them know. Be interested. What the hell? That's weird. I'm drinking some non-alcoholic beer at the moment. Are you?
Starting point is 01:28:38 It's very nice. What kind of beer? It's Bavaria beer. Other beers are available. The odd thing about it is, though, if you go to the checkout with it, which you will do if you buy it, they have to check that you're over 18.
Starting point is 01:28:57 Even though it doesn't have alcohol in, they're not allowed to sell it to under 18-year-olds. Oh. In this country. It was called Atmosphere, according to people in the chat. Atmosphere! Oh my god. Yeah, I was very young
Starting point is 01:29:11 when that came out. Fear. Atmosphere. Yeah, as in being afraid. Yeah. I'm googling it. It's an Australian board game series. You're going to have to try and find a copy off of eBay or something, Lewis. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:29:28 Unfortunately, if it's on VHS, I don't know how the fuck you're going to play it. You're going to have to find a VHS player. Did you have one in the back of your car? Oh, don't remind me of the car. Why would you do that? That's cruel. So, yeah, I mean, games-wise, what are you most looking forward to this year?
Starting point is 01:29:49 Do you know what's coming out this year? What are you looking forward to? Games in general that I'm looking forward to are big sort of, like, hack-and-slash things, like Torchlight 2, Diablo 3, because they're sort of, like, mindless, like, click click fest fun stuff you just kill wave after wave
Starting point is 01:30:08 of enemies and I think you know those kind of games are just real good sort of casual gameplay if I just read a list of 2011 games off to you I want you to say Portal 2 I want you to say one word describing
Starting point is 01:30:24 what you think about each of these games coming out oh my god, it's so soon! I want you to say one word describing what you think about each of these games coming up. The Witcher 2. What? Portal 2. Cake. Deus Ex 3. Denton.
Starting point is 01:30:40 Monaco? Gambling. Planetside Next. What? It's like the new Planetside. It's called Next. I didn't even know that was coming out. Okay.
Starting point is 01:30:59 There was just silence. Do you want more than one word? You can have two words. Oh, thank you. I'm going to give you two fucking words. Okay. Diablo 3. Let's do one you know.
Starting point is 01:31:13 Two words to describe Diablo 3. Yeah. Mindless fun. Warhammer 40k. They put that on the box. They put that on the box. Yogscast Mindless Fun 15 stars
Starting point is 01:31:29 15 stars 15 stars Warhammer Dawn of War 2 40k Dawn of War 2 Yawn Boring Guild Wars 2 Kinda Excited Boring. Guild Wars 2.
Starting point is 01:31:47 Kinda excited. Duke Nukem Forever. It's about time. About time. No, wait, wait. What does he actually say? What does Duke Nukem say? I'm gonna rip off your head and shit down your neck.
Starting point is 01:32:04 Sorry, that's not very nice. He says that. He's not a nice man. Eat shit and die. Oh my god. That was really good. Do more. I'm Constance John. Eat shit.
Starting point is 01:32:20 I'm Duke Newcomb. Asshole. Is that sound like him? Is he going to do more? Is he? We've hit a goldmine here I feel This is Duke Newcomb You're listening To Nordressel Radio
Starting point is 01:32:38 You can use that if you want Mario, you can use that You'll get sued by Johnson John If you use it But you can use it. You'll get sued by Johnson John if you use it, but you can use it. It'll be fine. It's not a problem. Elder Scrolls 5 Skyrim. I'm really, really excited
Starting point is 01:32:59 about that game. I don't know if you can tell. Is that a cross? Sort of had a nerdgasm. I saw, yeah. I don't know if you could tell. Did that come across? Sort of had a nerdgasm. I saw, yeah. I think you lost your headset in the process. It sort of fell off a little bit, yeah. Mass Effect 3.
Starting point is 01:33:22 Dota 2. Literally AIDS There we go Literally AIDS Literally AIDS Wow How about Batman Arkham City The follow up to Arkham Asylum Not really interested in it
Starting point is 01:33:43 Because it's just A punch em up sort of game Yeah First one was good Asylum? Not really interested in it. Because it's just a punch-em-up sort of game. It doesn't really appeal to me. That's not two words. Sorry. Two words. I'm Batman. How about that?
Starting point is 01:33:57 I'm Batman. No, that's Duke Nukem again. Get the fuck out of here, Duke. Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? Torchlight 2. Oh my
Starting point is 01:34:12 That's it. Okay. Damn it. If only I had this. Crysis 2. Crysis 2. Crysis 2. My computer I literally bought like a month ago
Starting point is 01:34:27 and it's probably still not going to run it. It needs to go forward in time for my computer to run Crysis 2. It's retarded. Dragon Age 2. Loading screens.
Starting point is 01:34:45 Nice. Assassin's Creed Brotherhood. Shitty DRM. I don't know if they actually have the same DRM. Terrible DRM. But yeah, retarded. When it's less hassle, right? When it's less hassle for you to pirate a game
Starting point is 01:35:04 than to actually buy it from a shop. When you can play it earlier than people who actually buy it, play it earlier than people who buy it, and when you also get it for free, perhaps the DRM that they're choosing isn't really the way forward. So good effort there. And to finish us off, Star Wars The Old Republic.
Starting point is 01:35:29 No comment. Let's play a record. Nice. Nice, let's play a record. Go. We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time,
Starting point is 01:35:44 guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. That was some S Club 7. Bit of Tina Barrett, who hasn't had the most success since S Club 7 came to an end but still fond memories fond memories she's a lovely lady she's she's she's done a lady she's worked hard talking about lovely lady simon we've got some questions here do you do you have a lady friend
Starting point is 01:36:21 that you're courting are you courting anyone or are you an available eligible bachelor? Well, I'm still a little bit hurt from the death of Granny Bacon, obviously. Oh, yeah. I did have my eye on Daisy Duke, but I think Old Peculiar probably, I don't know. Her heart probably belongs to him. I don't really know how she feels about him though we know that he's into her but you know maybe she's just not interested we'll just have to see it's possible um uh so following up what type of women does simon like except for dwarfs is the question dwar Dwarfs, of course. I'm very fond of dwarfs.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Like Bridget. She's a nice little midget lady. Yeah. Apart from the dwarven. What do you look for in an ideal woman? Me. Okay, question three. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten out of when you can't be arsed to do the dishes?
Starting point is 01:37:32 Weirdest thing I've eaten out of? Yeah, when you've got no plates. Oh, okay. Okay. Number four. Can you come up with a dinner suggestion? Maybe for a lady that you would be taking out to dinner? Someone seems to be very interested in my private life.
Starting point is 01:37:55 Yeah, this chap who ever asked these questions. Chap? What? This might be a lady who's asking these questions. I don't know. Chapet, I believe, is the term, technical term for a lady. Chapet. So what was the question? was asking these questions i don't know i believe is the term technical term for a lady chapette um so what was what was the question where would i where would i take a lady no quickly on what is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning I feel like P. Diddy God
Starting point is 01:38:25 What is the first thing you see When you wake up in the morning Tears in my eyes And the body of a hooker Cold next to me in bed God What If you had to Sightless eyes staring into my cold next to me in bed. Oh, God. What?
Starting point is 01:38:45 If you had to... The sightless eyes staring into my... If you had to eat only one thing and one thing only for the next year, what would it be? Jaffa Cakes! Cha-ching! Look, Vity's... It's the money shot right there.
Starting point is 01:39:12 Can we have that money? Let's just start the innuendo section. Tyrande, Jaina or Moira? You know what I mean. It's got a question mark. Which one? Which one? I think it would be
Starting point is 01:39:29 Moira I would go for. Not Moira, but Moira, the bread vendor. Oh, yeah. We speculated before that she was like one of Amidala's clones. You know, one of her... So Moira would actually just be the bread vendor
Starting point is 01:39:47 going around Ironforge. Ironforge. Yeah. She's now in the West Country instead of fake Scotland. Ironforge. So what else? What else have we got here?
Starting point is 01:40:02 That's it, I've run out now. We're going to have questions. Oh my god. Well, there's a lot more questions, but they're all terrible. I just don't care anymore, frankly. I've just had enough. Are you tired? Are you all tuckered out? Have you had a long day? It's been a long couple of days, hasn't it? And we have to...
Starting point is 01:40:24 Well, we'll carry on with a couple more about your relationship status i spoke we'll just carry on we'll just carry on so uh the person who um spoke to you on the last podcast about the availability of his mother oh my god that's been brought up just constantly everything we ever do yeah that guy is right on it. Why is he so desperate to get his, like, does he want me to be his stepdad? Is he desperate for me to be his stepdad or something? Well, she thinks you're cute, apparently, after the way you dealt with the situation last time.
Starting point is 01:41:00 You know, she is available. Are there any pictures of this woman? I don't think we've had any, have we? Okay. It's not that I'm a shallow person. It's just that I have very high standards. What if she sends you pictures through and you like
Starting point is 01:41:18 the look of them? What would the next step be for you? I think I would have to take her out to dinner okay where would you go where would you go we would go to wagamamas okay somewhere posh some like japanese noodle bar kind of place like wagamamas have noodles i would have those little duck Cornish pasties again. For some reason, the dumplings that you get, fried dumplings, actually resemble miniature Cornish pasties, which is the cutest thing ever.
Starting point is 01:41:55 It blew your mind, didn't it? It did. They were just so gorgeous little things. I like food that comes in little parcels because that means I can have more of it. You know? And you sort of lose count of how much you've had. If you just have, like, a big cake, you know that you've eaten a whole big cake.
Starting point is 01:42:15 But if you have, say, several small cakes, for example, you know, any cake that comes in a small sauce like bite-sized yeah so I'm blowing my nose got me the cold or something oh that's what happens when you go on the tube in London you just get ill like the day after I was a little bit worried that I might have given it you or something you don't think you know you caught my you know my lurkey but I've got that I might have given it you or something. You don't think that you caught my lurgy that I've got that I just naturally carry around
Starting point is 01:42:50 with me. Like a sort of green haze, a postulant haze of disease. You just get stink waves coming off of me. It's kind of like an old woman's perfume that just follows her around as a sort of a gas cloud.
Starting point is 01:43:06 Like the embodiment of pestilence. The four horsemen of the apocalypse. So, do you... I'm trying to read questions out and phrase them intelligently. Who is your favourite British comedian and what panel shows do you enjoy watching if any you mentioned qi once yeah qi is it's quite a good show but i'm i'm kind of just stephen fry is just annoying the shit out of me and he has done for about the last 18 months for some reason i like qi a lot it's one i mean one of one of the reasons that he pisses me off is because we had this massive expenses scandal in the UK
Starting point is 01:43:47 where our members of parliament were taking money out of their expenses, taxpayers' money, and spending it on things like cleaning the moats of their castles. Yeah. Not even joking. Or buying a duck house for their estate. estate yeah to go on a little island in their moat what the fuck and steven fry's response to this was you know journalists shouldn't pry into these sort of affairs it's very hypocritical of them it's like what how dare you so yeah he's sort of he just sort of he's a bit smug you know he's he comes across
Starting point is 01:44:28 as being very intelligent but there's like a whole team of people that you know tell him the answers to the questions it's not like he knows all of the answers you know he he's told them people don't seem to quite appreciate this you know he's he's not an absolute genius and master of everything. He's a bit of a smug twat sometimes. He's just a man. I suppose. But he is still quite funny. He is still quite funny.
Starting point is 01:44:57 One of my favorite panel shows is probably Mock the Week, which we have here in the UK, which is sort of like a ruder version of Have I Got News For You, in which they have a whole load of celebrities and they go over the week's news, and they're often very offensive. Famously, Frankie Boyle, the Scottish comedian, was on there, and he made a reference to the Queen of England's vagina.
Starting point is 01:45:28 And there was a massive, massive uproar over this. And he eventually left the show and started doing his own things. I think he got kicked off. Yeah, he's a bit offensive, Frankie Boyle, though. There's a lot of these topical panel news quiz shows on the TV at the moment and I think it's because it's a format that works in a
Starting point is 01:45:52 flagging kind of system. I mean, would you consider being on as a guest if you got invited? It's not completely off the cards. You possibly could do that, especially since you know people at the BBC. I'm waiting by the phone right now for that call to come through would you like to be on qi i'm sure it's just going to ring any
Starting point is 01:46:12 minute now okay we'll just shall we wait it's not ringing it's not and it's still not ringing let's move on not ringing uh yeah i think we might have to find something else to do In the meanwhile What is your favourite flavour of ice cream? Ooh I do really like Chocolate fudge brownie ice cream Okay, well that's not really A traditional flavour, I suppose Well, what kind of fucking answer
Starting point is 01:46:41 Were you expecting? I'm not going to say vanilla Because that's just utterly boring. And strawberry doesn't really taste like real strawberries, and it's like sickeningly sweet. Why is that? Why doesn't strawberry ice cream taste of strawberries? Some of it does.
Starting point is 01:46:59 Some nice, expensive strawberry ice cream does. But what is it like? Yeah, it's made with real strawberries. What is the artificial strawberry flavor? Why is it like made real strawberry what is the artificial like strawberry why is it so bad why these artificial flavors so terrible chemical they have um they have vanilla ice cream they have a big like vat of vanilla ice cream and they add like red food coloring to it and then they take a little droplet out of a pipette and they squeeze out a single drop and that is like the fake strawberry and it flavors this entire vat because it's just got such a strong
Starting point is 01:47:32 chemical taste can you hear ollie barking no i can't is he okay he's going a little bit nuts i think he saw someone outside and it scared him. I think dogs are paranoid. There's something weird about them. They must be slightly schizophrenic or something. They've got this paranoia that any time they see someone walking outside of a house, they naturally think that they're going to break in, steal everything, take all of the sausages. Only to be protected with the sausages. Ollie Trey protects from the sausages.
Starting point is 01:48:08 Yeah. I mean, he does sometimes have sausages. Mostly he eats beef mince. Ground beef. That's what he would eat for his dinner. He eats well. He eats better than I do, actually.
Starting point is 01:48:22 Yeah, is that like a top... I mean, I know that you're not really supposed to feed, like, cats traditional cat food, because apparently it's really bad for them or something. Potation needed. I've heard some pets talk. Hannah talks a lot about animals. Okay. She's on a day at the animal sanctuary.
Starting point is 01:48:45 She comes home. That's where she works. We did mention this before. She nurses baby birds back to health if they fall out of their nest and they break their wing. She gently nurses them back. On their head. She pats them and she kisses them
Starting point is 01:49:01 and that's it. And then they just fly away all healed. It's like a miracle. It's like a miracle. Is there anything you ever mentioned on a Yoggpod or Yogg's cast that you now totally regret saying? Pretty much every time we do something like this, I say something that I regret afterwards.
Starting point is 01:49:24 I can't think of anything in this show that I've... Oh, actually, the fact that I was farting constantly during the Rift London release event. Maybe I'm going to regret that. Yeah. Possibly.
Starting point is 01:49:40 The fact that I was very rude about Total Biscuit and I said he was my bitch. That's probably, yeah, I think I might regret that. I think he'll make me regret that. Why would he do that? Don't worry. He's a mean man.
Starting point is 01:49:56 He beats me. He's got a big stick. He's got, what's it called, a shillelagh, like one of those Irish sticks. It's like a mace. And he just whacks me with it. But he only hits me where the bruises don't show. Oh, God! I regret saying that as well.
Starting point is 01:50:19 No, you don't. Are you going to be playing Rift? Or what are we going to be doing? Are we going to be playing... It's Or what are we going to be doing? It's Spacker. That's what TotalBiscuit has. He has a Spacker. It's a big stick. And on the end of it, it's a dwarf.
Starting point is 01:50:37 Classic throwback there. Are we going to be playing Rift? What are we going to be playing in future together? We're going to be playing more Magic with TB. We're going to be playing more Minecraft? What are we going to be playing in future together? We're going to be playing more Magic with TB. We're going to be playing obviously more Minecraft. What's on the cards? What's coming in the next few weeks? We've got to be sticking with World of Warcraft really, haven't we? Because
Starting point is 01:50:53 it's been a long time since we've done anything WoW related. And I've got a few ideas of stuff that I can do with that. Really? Okay. Well, good. I am personally very sick of WoW, and I'm glad to be having a break of it. The thing is, we played the beta for a long
Starting point is 01:51:10 time, so... We played all of the leveling content in it, and we played all of the instances in it, so we played through an awful lot of Kata. So, come release, we leveled up
Starting point is 01:51:25 we did a tiny little bit of raiding the amount of rogues that you need to do to get into the raiding and then we just went and we started playing our stuff which wasn't we overdosed on it we played it for
Starting point is 01:51:40 the beta went on for a long time and we were actually in alpha before that. So we played the shit out of it. So I think we got our money's worth out of it as well. Because we had to buy the copies. Like, you know, the common people had to buy copies of these games. Well, we still do. We buy everything.
Starting point is 01:52:01 I've still got a subscription to WoW. So have I. I'm still chugging along. Anytime I want to, I can just log in, get loads of whispers from people asking if I'm the real Honeydew, and then I can just log out in shame. Aww.
Starting point is 01:52:20 Rift, we could do more Rift stuff. There's a lot of interesting new things to see in that game, which would be interesting to play through. I'd probably just end up playing like a Dwarf Hunter in it, like I do in WoW. But there's a lot of interesting different things that aren't in WoW, that's in Rift, like the Rifts themselves, which is like a big, you know, interesting...
Starting point is 01:52:46 I keep saying interesting over and over. Sorry, I'm just setting up the Magicka video to upload for tonight. OK. There we are. You do realise we are live on the internet and people are listening? So are we still doing this? I think we are. I'm flagging. Hello?
Starting point is 01:53:05 Is anyone here? What? Should we play a bit of music? And then what would you like to hear? Oh, let's have a look in the Relatively Downloaded Pirated Music for Internet Radio folder. What's coming up next? Oh, I don't want to listen to the safety dance. Can we skip that one?
Starting point is 01:53:25 Oh, I don't want to listen to the safety dance. Can we skip that one? Oh, no! Oh, no! Let's see what the response is in chat when there's the 45-second delay. Okay. When they hear safety dance. A couple of down, right? Number 12, we could play that.
Starting point is 01:53:43 Let's play number 12. I think we need to be livened up by number 12. Let's play number 12. Let's have a bit of down, right? Number 12, we could play that. Let's play number 12. I think we need to be livened up by number 12. Let's have a bit of energy, and then we'll end it. Go. Is number 12 playing? We should have it dead here while we look at each other
Starting point is 01:54:02 like idiots. We're unable to play music during podcast. So next time, guys, make sure to listen live. Now, back to Simon and Lewis. And hello, you're back listening to the Yogscast. That was a tune there. DJ Morpha is next on Nautical Radio, and he's going to be playing tunes just like that. They're going to be as good as that.
Starting point is 01:54:35 Is that right, DJ Morpha? Yeah, well, it's exactly like that, to be honest. Okay. So are you into the Swedish, like, comedy pop? I don't even go to Go to that part, no actually I pretty much take anything that Well that's probably Fun, because it's a request show
Starting point is 01:54:56 So usually it's kind of weird Music taste on my shows, but yeah It's big fun, big fun Nice, I like request shows So people can request anything And you'll just end up playing it? Yeah, if the people want to do requests, head over to forums, find my thread. My show is called Blame the Requesters. Start requesting, guys. Okay, you heard from Morphar. That is amazing.
Starting point is 01:55:19 So is your name actually DJ Morphar, like Daniel James Morphar? No, no, no. That's the only nickname I've had for a long, long time now. Okay. Are you like a professional music producer and DJ, a mix master, or are you like a WoW player? Do you play WoW? Do you play games?
Starting point is 01:55:39 Yeah, I play a lot of WoW. But yeah, I was a real-life DJ back 10 years ago. I dropped it for doing this radio so yeah oh wow so you're like a proper exclusive to nordra seal they're lucky to have you and all yeah i bet they are so are you i don't want to say are you a swedish man because you could be anything couldn't you could be any scandinavian You sound Scandinavian. Where are you from? Tell me about yourself. I'm very Swedish. Yeah, well, I think so, anyways.
Starting point is 01:56:12 So were you a DJ on Swedish radio? Oh, God. There's a problem with the call. We're losing Simon. Oh, Simon, where are you? Don't worry. So, sorry, go on. Tell me about Swedish radio.
Starting point is 01:56:24 Swedish radio. Swedish radio. I was working on an FM station for a while, and that was pretty interesting. I got the job because of this exact radio, so that was very fun to be honest. Awesome. Yeah. I think we'd love to do a radio show,
Starting point is 01:56:40 but I don't think anyone would let us do it because, in case, well, because as you've seen this evening al yeah so we're actually going to draw this to a close because simon has disconnected i'm uploading the magic of video i hope you all enjoyed yourselves the oxcast will continue strong as ever we're going to do more videos, more podcasts, all sorts of really cool stuff. We've got a community site and just contact us at yogscast.gmail.com
Starting point is 01:57:12 We love you. Thank you. I love you! Oh, Simon's back. Are you okay? Was that a door? My Skype is completely failing. Thanks for listening, everyone.
Starting point is 01:57:29 Bye. DJ. Play a song. We're going to go to some music then. We have it all. Blood. Guts. What more do you need? yeah great music then we really do have it all right here on nordic hill radio

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