Triforce! - YoGPoD 7: The Dragon Quiz
Episode Date: April 24, 2009Simon goes through an extremely nerdy quiz to find out how much Lewis knows about dragons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
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Behold the DQ freezer,
an extraordinary freezer holding all the blizzard flavors of the past.
It's opening to bring back Rolo and brownie batter.
Grab them before the DQ freezer closes.
Only at DQ.
Happy tastes good.
Okay, this week's Yoggpod,
and I'm using the term week there quite loosely
because we haven't released one in about six weeks.
Okay, this month's Yoggpod
is in honour of Saint George, the patron saint of Englandshire,
who is famous for slaying a dragon and saving the people of, um, I think it was Turkey, actually.
Why is he our patron saint?
What?
Why is he our patron saint? He's from Turkey.
What do you mean he's from Turkey? What do you mean he's from Turkey?
I'm pretty sure he's from Turkey.
Was he like Welsh or something?
What?
Why would he be Welsh?
Because they've got the dragon on their flag.
Ah, I think it's a different dragon.
Unless the Welsh really do hate the English so much that they now worship the dragon
that almost killed St George.
Did it almost kill him?
See, I don't know anything about this.
This story.
It's all just bollocks at the end of the day, isn't it?
So he was like a Turkish guy?
That's really messed up. I mean, the fact
is that all of our
traditions are stolen anyway.
Tea is from China, obviously, and are like stolen anyway like tea is from china obviously and like
curries and st george is now turk what else is like you know the queen's german well they are
a german family yeah i know that was part of the joke
it's your delivery that. That was the key
in the failure of that joke.
Hello, and welcome
to Young's Cast.
What the fuck are you doing?
I was just wondering where you were.
I was just sat here in silence.
Not moving.
Staring at the wall.
Waiting for you to start talking again.
Rocking backwards and forwards, my hands around my knees, staring into empty space, solitary tears running down my cheek.
We should play something. Do you want to play Train for Tycoon?
I was going to do something... I had something more exciting in mind. Right?
How would you like to take...
Da-da-da-daaaa... da-da-daaaaa...
The Dragon Quiz.
Right. Well, go on Okay, it's a series of 12 questions about
You've guessed it, dragons!
Are you up for the challenge?
Yep
You're not allowed to use Google or any information sources around you
You just have to rely on your brain and your own personal knowledge
of things dragon.
Okay, I'm ready.
Awesome. Question one. What is the name of Eragon's dragon companion in Christopher
Paglioni's Inheritance series. Oh, I don't know.
How about Eleanor?
Well, that's not one of the choices, because there are about three choices here.
There are choices.
You're alright. It's alright. You've got a chance now.
Unfortunately, you have to rely on my pronouncing the names correctly.
Um, Aya, Murtagh, or Saffira? Aya, Murtagh, or Saffira? Oh dear.
Yes! Aya sounds retarded. Sapphira sounds too generic.
It must be Murtagh.
Okay.
I'm going to click it.
It's clicked.
Nothing happened.
So we're just gonna move on to the next question.
Right.
Okay.
Wow.
So we don't know whether that's right or wrong.
I think we have to select all of the answers.
No, we've got no idea whether that's right or wrong. I think we have to select all of the answers.
No, we've got no idea. That's brilliant.
So we have to see at the end, okay?
So question two.
In Anne McCaffrey's Pern books, what are the special abilities of dragons used for? To burn alien thread out of the sky,
to cook marshmallows,
or to lift heavy objects?
It must be heavy objects.
Must be. Must be.
Although, that doesn't really make sense.
I mean, if a dragon did exist, yeah,
they'd be way, like, too heavy to fly, wouldn't
they? And, I mean, you wouldn't be able to use them to, like, lift massive heavy objects.
They use magic to fly, and that's how...
It's bullshit.
No, they're real.
There's no such thing as dragons either, to be fair.
Magic is real.
No, but Tuva, you could envisage there being a creature like a dragon.
And the reason it doesn't exist is because it would be way too fucking heavy.
Well, yeah, I mean it could theoretically breathe fire, yeah.
So are you going with lifting heavy objects?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Dun, dun, dun!
It's been selected.
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Yeah, apparently.
Question three.
In Tolkien's Middle-earth, which dragon is depicted on the helm of Hedor, worn by Turin?
Is it Ankelegon,
Glaurung,
or Smaug?
I doubt it's Smaug,
because that's the one that Bilbo steals
the ring from, isn't it, or something?
Is that... No, he doesn't steal
the ring from Smaug.
I doubt it's that. I think it's probably Glam...
the one beginning with G. That sounds more of a Tolkien-y name, doesn't it? I doubt it's that I think it's probably Glam The one with
Beginning with G
That sounds more of a
Tolkien-y name doesn't it
The one
Beginning with G
Yeah
Glam Rhaegon
Is that what you said?
You're just guessing
Aren't you?
You don't actually know
I'm pretty confident
The one on
Thorin's Helm
Your knowledge of dragons
Isn't very good
Fuck you
My knowledge of dragons is fine.
It's got me by
perfectly well until now.
You managed to get through
in life with a very poor knowledge of dragons.
Okay, question four.
In the Harry Potter books...
Ah, you must feel confident about this one.
Oh yeah, I'm confident now.
Okay.
Which of the Weasley brothers has a job involving dragons?
Oh, shit.
I'm not even going to give you the choices.
I'm not even going to give you the choices,
because obviously you know so much about Harry Potter.
Well, the Weasley brothers...
I think they're Bill and Charlie, who are the ones
who I like. I'm going to guess
Bill. Okay.
Bill Weasley.
I'm just eating some
chocolate. It's my birthday.
It's my birthday
chocolate. Happy birthday
by the way. Very nice.
Thank you. Did you want me to say that again?
Just, you know, add that again? No. Question five.
In the film Rain of Fire, where do dragons first emerge? Oh, you must know this one.
Christian Bale movie. In the film what? Rain of Fire. Rain as in to rule something.
But it also works the other way because fire rains down from the sky and the dragons rule.
So it's like a rain of fire. It's very clever.
Erm...
The choices are, because I feel like you need some help, Durham, Edinburgh, or London.
Their names are films, are they?
Oh, dear.
What?
No, the film is called Reign of Fire.
We've been over this.
Oh, I'm right.
I've not seen it or heard of it.
In the movie, it's a quite good film, actually.
But in that movie, where do dragons first emerge from?
Okay?
So, we're in the normal world, like now,
but dragons, like, emerge from the earth, pretty much.
Right?
And they do so in the middle of a city.
I'm going to go with London.
Okay, right.
Yeah, I'm going gonna go with London. Okay, right. Yeah, I'm gonna go with London.
Okay, in the 2007 version of Beowulf, the hero confronts a dragon.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Have you seen this movie?
No. Beowulf!
Okay, he confronts a dragon. What colour is the dragon?
Oh, Jesus.
Is it gold, red or silver?
Er, one.
Erm...
Silver.
OK.
We're halfway through.
Good.
Question seven.
In Merlin, the 2008 BBC TV series...
Jesus, I can't watch that either.
OK.
A dragon's held captive in it,
but where is the dragon held captive?
Jesus fucking Christ.
It's behind a waterfall,
in a forest,
or it's under Camelot Castle.
Right. Under Camelot Castle.
Right. The waterfall sounds a bit cliché.
Forest doesn't sound like a very good place to hide a dragon.
I'm going to go with under Camelot Castle.
I'm going to go with that.
Okay, go with the cliché.
Don't laugh!
Okay, question eight.
According to legend,
St. George slew a dragon.
On what day is St. George celebrated in England?
Oh, shit.
You must know this.
When's St. George's day?
Oh, for fuck's sake!
I don't know.
Is it somewhere in, like, June?
June the 26th, something like that?
No, May, May the, May the, what are the clues?
I don't know.
The clues are April the 23rd, May the 23rd, or May the 24th.
May the 23rd, 4th, 24th, May the 24th? May the 23rd.
4th, 24th.
May the 24th.
May the 24th, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're wrong, but anyway, question 9.
What is the title of the first book in Kate Forth Scythe's series, The Witches of Elianan.
What?
What?
What?
I know.
Okay, but...
Can you try pronouncing that again?
Okay.
Elianan.
Elianan.
Right.
Sounds like the French for banana.
Elianan.
Okay, The Witches of Banana.
The title of the first book in that series is either called Dragon Bane,
Jesus.
Dragon Claw, or Dragon Lance.
No, I don't think it's called Dragon Lance.
That's a series by Anne McCafferty or someone.
Or Dragon Dragon.
I'm going to go with Dragon...
What was the first one?
Dragon Bane.
Oh, no.
Dragon Claw sounds a bit shit.
Dragon Bane.
It must be Dragon Bane.
Must be that.
Must be.
Okay.
Dragon Bane.
Right.
Question ten.
Yeah.
That's another Harry Potter question.
Oh, good.
Okay.
Good.
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,
which species of dragon must
Harry face during the Triwizard
Tournament?
Is it a Chinese fireball,
a Hungarian horntail,
or a Swedish
short snout?
Oh.
I don't think it was the Chinese
fireball. That sounds a bit, like, weird. What was the Chinese fireball
That sounds a bit like weird
What was the second one?
Hungarian Horntail
Yes
I think it was probably that one
I'm going to go with that
Okay, question 11
I don't know
It could have been any of them
Useless, fucking useless
In the 2008 film The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor It could have been any of them. Useless. Fucking useless.
In the 2008 film,
The Mummy,
Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Who plays the Dragon Emperor?
Oh, Jesus!
I didn't even know there was a Dragon Emperor.
Mummy, the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
Is that the name of the film? I don't know.
They're just churning them out now, aren't they?
Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor? Is that the name of the film? They're just churning them out now, aren't they? Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.
Oh, God.
Uh, Alan Rickman?
I don't know. Maybe?
Well, he's not one of the answers.
He's not one of the answers, right.
What are the options?
I'm guessing it's probably not him.
The options are...
Brendan Fraser,
Jet Li, or Tian Lang.
Right.
Tian Lang.
I'm going to guess that Jet Li has better things to do. Although, to be honest, I don't really know.
I'm pretty sure Brendan Fraser is the guy who is the star of it,
so I very much doubt he's the dragon emperor.
I'm going to go with the Tian Li guy.
I'm pretty confident about that.
Tian Lang.
Tian Liang.
Tian Liang.
Tian Liang.
Okay, the last question.
This is the last chance for you to redeem yourself
and capture
those special extra points.
In the 2000 movie Dungeons and Dragons...
Oh, you're kidding me.
Dungeons and Dragons the movie.
Have you seen it?
No.
Have you seen it?
Why have I not seen any of these fucking films?
I want to see it.
I thought you liked dragons.
I thought you were really, you know, you knew a lot about dragons. I'm really see it now. I thought you liked dragons. I thought you were really,
you know,
you knew a lot about dragons.
I'm really into my dragons.
You were like an expert.
I thought you were
the dragon emperor.
I was surprised
when I got to that question,
saw the available answers,
and your name wasn't there.
Go on then.
Okay, in Dungeons and Dragons,
the movie,
who is the empress
that owns a scepter that can control the country's golden dragons?
Wow.
What a question.
So, you're looking for the name.
The name of the empress.
Okay.
Now, think hard.
Try and remember.
Okay, one, two, or three.
And I'll just click one of them.
No, read them out. Read them out, I'm gonna guess.
Okay, okay.
Marina, Norda or Savina?
Right, well I don't think Marina is the name of a dragon queen, it doesn't sound very dragon-y.
What are the other two?
Norda.
She's an empress, she's not a queen.
Sounds a bit stupid.
Norda, no. I not going to go with her.
So, Savina?
Savina.
Oh god.
Savina.
That sounds sufficiently clichéd.
I'll go with that one.
Okay, going with Savina.
Let's check your score.
Oh. Beep boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop Okay, you have scored
5 out of 12.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
5 out of 12.
Unfortunately,
unfortunately,
it doesn't actually give the answers.
Oh dear.
We'll never know.
We'll never know.
We'll never know.
Apparently, it makes a comment on your score, right?
It says, that was rubbish.
That's all it says.
They didn't even bother saying...
That's not very nice.
Oh, your knowledge of dragons isn't quite good enough as, you know, we would expect
it to be, and we are very disappointed...
It's not even that, it's just, you know, rubbish. I'm very disappointed that it's not one of those things where it says, you know, we would expect it to be. And we are very disappointed. It's not even that.
It's just rubbish.
I'm very disappointed that it's not one of those things where it says,
you are a red...
A retard.
You're a retard.
You are a window licker.
Oh, my God.
What's a window licker?
Someone who licks windows, not wicks lindows.
I would have thought it would have said something like, you know,
you are a pink dragonfly, your knowledge of dragons is growing,
but not as much as a...
And then, you know, you can put it in your signature.
It gives you, like, a banner to put in your signature.
You could create your signature. It gives you a banner to put in your signature. You could create a signature that says, you know,
you're rubbish.
Just go with that.
Your knowledge of dragons is rubbish.
That's not a very good motive.
Where did you get this quiz from?
WarpCoreSF.co.uk
Dragon Quiz.
Do you want to do a quest called the Teddy Compatibility Test?
The Teddy Compatibility Test? It will determine whether or not you're compatible
with a girl named Teddy, who I'm going to link you a picture of now. Okay. I need to rip it out.
Is this a way for her to find possible mates?
Yes.
Right.
Oh wow, this is good, this is good.
She's quite an attractive lady.
This may actually be usable in a podcast.
A podcast that we can't show them
a picture of Teddy.
They can find it. We can do a tiny URL.
Just, you know, don't...
Oh, God.
It'll just be goatsy, though.
It won't be goatsy. It won't be goatsy.
You can trust us.
You can trust the YogPod.
You're trustworthy.
There you go. This is my comment.
Oh, Jesus. She's beautiful.
She is a lovely looking girl.
Do you know what, that's probably a really good photo of her.
This is the scary thing. I know.
Hi I'm Teddy. If you want to know if you're
compatible with me then take this test be honest because that's the only way you'll know if you
really are my type and if we work out don't bother if you like to cheat on girls because
you're already out are you ready what yeah i'm ready i'm ready if you saw me walking down the
street what would you be thinking i'll be, thank Christ I didn't have a large breakfast.
So that's, I wonder what she looks like naked.
Is that the option?
Oh, no!
No!
No?
Damn, let me holler at that.
Is that it?
Is that the one?
Oh, what? No. It must be that one. What's that? No. I don't know at dat. Is that it? Is that the one? Oh, what? No.
It must be that one.
What's that? No.
I don't know.
Two.
Is that it? Is there just...
Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
It's the lemme holler at dat.
Two. What is the one thing you notice about a girl the first time you look at her?
Um, I'm not sure, actually. Hair, possibly.
actually hair possibly that's not one of the options the options are but no boobs eyes lips or the way she walks well I guess if she like walks with a limp or
something that you know it's that's quite quickly wouldn't you so the way
she walks obviously three what do you look for most in a girl?
Um, what are the options?
The options are, she should be healthy, she is beautiful, she gotta be freaky, she needs
somewhat smart, she gotta make me laugh or it won't work.
Um.
That's the last one.
Oh my god, this is terrible.
She's gotta be healthy.
Alright, okay.
Do you think I'm cute, hot, beautiful or sexy?
No. You have to pick one.
Did she spell think with an F at the front? Think.
She might as well.
So you're putting a slant on this. That sounded a bit racist because she's slightly Asian. I didn't mean to, you know, say slant.
Slanty.
No, I didn't mean... Oh, God.
Let's just go with cute.
If I told you that I loved softball, what would you say?
I put my testicles in her mouth.
Do you like Lil Wayne's music?
Let's have a guess, shall we?
So, if you don't like Lil Wayne, is that it? You're out?
You know, you're never going to be with this woman? Basically.
Basically, yeah.
Oh, man.
Yeah, he's my homie.
No, I hate him.
I love his music, but not him.
Or who the hell is Lil Wayne
Well I know who he is
I'm not sure if I hate him
I mean that's a very harsh term isn't it
I mean it's not like I want to see him die
Well I guess I hate him
Okay I do hate him
I do
I hate you Lil Wayne
I hate you
Do you like to snuggle
Slash cuddle
Yeah Cutie Do you like to snuggle Slash cuddle Yeah
Cutie
Nice
Okay that's it
Oh my god
Oh my god
I'd love you to be my
Snuggle buddy
You're a great match for me. Oh my god.
Message me now because I'd love to get
to know you. You're a really
great guy for me.
You
listening to Yogpot.
I'm
starting to think maybe eating nothing
except for that creme egg was a
very bad idea.
A creme egg?
A creme egg? Is that a very bad idea. A creme egg? A creme egg?
Is that like a cream egg, but pronounced differently?
It's spelt creme.
No, it's a creme egg.
Yeah, no, it's a creme egg.
No, it's not.
Honeydew.
It's a creme egg, you idiots.
It's a creme egg.
Everyone called it a creme egg. It's not called A in it.
Everyone.
Everyone ever.
They're called cream eggs.
Jesus Christ.
Creme egg.
Mmm.
A delicious creme egg.
Sounds like you're ordering it in a posh restaurant.
What's a creme egg?
You're a creme egg.
Go fuck yourself, Zephyls
A creme egg is like a national
Creme egg
A creme egg is like a British foodstuff
Which is like the most popular sort of confectionary product
From about January to April
Confectionary product? What's of confectionary product from about January to April. Confectionary product?
What's a confectionary product?
A confectionary product,
Yowie,
is like a sweet, like a candy bar,
like a chocolate.
Why don't you just say a sweet, a candy bar?
Well, it's not really either of those.
It's a chocolate egg
about the size of a normal egg,
but it's got like a creamy nougat-y fondant inside.
It looks like...
No, a cream egg.
Cum?
No, not cum.
Look, just show them a picture.
I'm sure they have them in Holland.
They're just not called cream eggs.
They don't have them in Holland, probably.
Cream eggs!
Why are we having this conversation? There's no A in Holland. They're just not called creme eggs. They don't have them in Holland, probably. CREAM EGGS! What are we having at this conference?
There's no A in it.
We have Russian eggs in Holland.
I have a Russian egg.
It's difficult to explain this, but
they're kind of like an
English national dish, I guess.
In Sweden they have...
They are!
They don't have any other countries.
There was a goon food thingy, chef... Yo, he...
Look in my comments.
Like the goon food exchange,
where fat goons send each other food from their country.
Katzbury Cram Egg.
Katzbury.
Oh, my good god
That's our national dish as well
Cram eggs
The official
See he says cram
What do you have
Joey
In Holland
These are our national
This is our national dish
Dish
Dish right
Really
It's called
The Amsterdam
Cram egg
Wow it looks really Really gross dish, right? Really? It's called the Amsterdam Cram Egg.
Wow, it looks really, really gross.
It's not, it's very
nice. That's what I
was thinking. When I was thinking...
A Cadbury Cram Egg is a brand
of chocolate manufactured inside
and out looking like an egg.
The egg has a milk chocolate shell
with a white-yellow fondant filling designed to resemble a yolk and white like an egg. The egg has a milk chocolate shell with a white-yellow fondant filling
designed to resemble the yolk
and white of an egg.
Cram eggs are the best-selling
confectionery item between
New Year's Day and Easter in the United Kingdom.
There you go.
The usual sales...
Wow.
200 million items
and a brand volume of approximately
wow
45 million pounds
Cram eggs
That's right, they're awesome
Cream eggs
I think it's cream egg
by the way, because cram egg is a little bit
bleh
Yeah, I think the guys are right
and the girls are wrong once again.
It's just because they're unsupplied.
What do you have in Holland?
Tell me about, like, sweets and chocolate bars and things in Holland, Joey.
We have space cake.
It's like a chocolate bar made from cake containing marijuana.
So you've got hash cake in a fucking wrapper.
Space cake.
Wow.
I guess what that was going to be before you even described it.
I love its name, space cake.
Oh, man, it sounds amazing.
What else, Siri?
Yeah, we have a croquette.
Croquette? Croquette?
A croquette, yes.
Isn't that like something, like a little brown cylinder made of potato?
Not, it's like a brown cylinder made from beef.
Nice.
What's delicious chocolate bar this sounds like?
It's made from beef! What's delicious chocolate bar this sounds like? Thanks for watching!