Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 102: Why Is This Happening???
Episode Date: June 20, 2019Tanya stumbles upon a straight pride parade in Wokelahoma and gives them a piece of her mind. Then we meet a new character, Chris Paul Hayes, who bugs us with all kinds of questions about why this is ...all happening??? Support us at our Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty
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stuff i just don't want to drag my future in-laws you know should proceed with caution as a general
rule with that yeah i think i'm just gonna keep it tucked that's the one you can insult your
co-workers you can insult your friends but don't insult your in-laws on a podcast you can insult
your own family you can insult your own family but fair game don't bring the in-laws into it
that's kind of the the general rule for just politics in general.
If you're going to be like a revolutionary or something, like I'm sure Che's in-laws.
In-laws are off.
Yeah.
Off limits.
Well, that's really where the rubber meets the road in any relationship, right?
It's like, am I really what I, do i really believe in what i say i believe in like
if the shit hits the fan what would my in-laws think of me i don't know guillotining um a
healthcare executive or a bunch of cops i mean there's something to talk about yeah my in-laws
i like all my in-laws i think they're great It's just I'm pretty sure one of them is raising a serial killer.
You've just broken the one rule.
You'll have that on the big jobs.
Chella's dad's great.
He's always a Democrat who drags the Democrats.
It's great.
Yeah, my kind of Democrat.
Yeah.
There's a lot of that going on this morning with the news of
the prison i've been built i've kept my ear to the streets oh where did that news come up today
all the highway department guys and all the water plant guys i see at the junction every morning at
the gas station every one of them had a paper in their hand and we're talking about hey what's
going on there and this one guy said trump's fucking us out of the prison and then the one guy from the water plant right behind him said what do you expect he said
we expect them damn republicans in office and then the guy right by him said well they ain't got much
in the white house to look up to do that i mean which prompted me and terrence to talk in the text today about like are people selling on maga or what here i
know it's early i know it's mid 2019 but here here is my speculation about how 2020 will play out
i wonder how many times we'll say those exact same words between now i know i'm saying it more for
like a you know more like an artifact i can go back to this and see how far off I was.
Here's my prediction.
I think that the MAGA movement is sort of splintering a little bit.
And the examples that I offered for you, that I offered for you, it's not the same as it was in 2016 now.
Now we have three years of tax cuts that resulted in smaller um checks to middle-class
families we have tariffs against uh china and all these like you know new tariffs against the
free trade which the oligarchs hate and um farmers aren't doing great farmers hate the tariffs right
farmers i don't i don't understand anything agriculture, but a friend of mine works for a farm credit
co-op, and he's like, man, the farmers are losing their fucking minds over China.
It's the soy.
I guess.
It's the soy.
Well, so anyways, I think that the central animating force about mega 2016 was
obama right it was like we gotta get him out of office like even though he was gonna have to leave
anyways right do you remember there was like a three-week like period there where they thought
obama wouldn't hand the reins over yeah well i even saw this week um, I got it in an email.
You know, I'm on so many of them stupid fucking listservs.
I'm getting text messages about voting.
Oh, God, so much.
I need to pay someone to just get me off all this shit.
I don't even know how to do it.
But it was an article about Trump saying that he thinks his supporters will demand that he serves more than two terms.
When he's 96?
Yeah.
They're not going to let him leave.
There's people saying that Trump's not going to engage in a peaceful transfer of power.
Yeah.
Trump said it.
Trump said his supporters will demand that he stay in office.
Folks, they're saying that i should have a lifetime
appointment i mean this was a headline he can't say i disagree with when we have the best numbers
i think that he'll i think he'll lose in 2020 that's the that's the prediction i'm working
up towards i don't i think you could like i told tom you could run whitesburg mayor james
wiley craft against the motherfucker and he would lose.
His highest approval rating number is like 42%, which is like the lowest any presidential
approval rating has ever been.
Oh, you mean his approval rating overall?
Overall.
Oh, okay.
He doesn't have approval ratings in any swing states at the moment with the exception of
Florida, and that's why he launched his 2020 campaign yesterday.
The only place he had a stronghold at.
In a retirement home.
Yeah.
I feel like a week ago you were like, no, we're getting Trump four more years.
Buckle up.
So my answer depends.
You must have had a good weekend.
My answer depends on what I view as more bleak at the time. And right now, I view as more bleak someone like Warren or even worse, Biden winning.
I think Biden would be worse.
Biden is a pretty bleak, but you think Warren is more bleak than Trump at this point?
Well, I only say that because of the sort of her surging in the polls in the last...
Yeah, here's what we got to do what we have to
kind of uh stop being conciliatory to her right now because ever ever since we entertained addleding
dong she's been surging in the polls sam does make a good point i'm joking i'm just saddled yeah yeah but i think that uh
i i think that the you know the establishment's fine with a few conceptions towards like
more sort of social democratic policies you know like they realize that like oh they've got a
restive population on their hands and they need to release the pressure valve a little bit and
warren allows them to do that yeah um what's this stuff today everybody on the tl was making a big deal about
the third wayers are coming out for liz warren yeah they are that's interesting yeah who is
they're talking about of course omar momar gaddafi's little green book and the adherence to a natural they're talking you know like is it third wave
third way third way like the tony blair the tony blair clinton people third wave feminists yeah
what are you talking about yes uh yes no the yeah the clinton people basically are
are going for warren now yeah they're not for uncle biden uncle joe i think that um
uncle joe is in a league all of his own he's running his own race man he said he was going
to cure cancer i mean that's the let me say i'll say i'll say i'll say i'll say let me just point
out what this man has done this week said he said he's going to cure cancer. See, I missed that.
He said he's going to cure cancer.
And then he said that he was just waxing poetic about the days when you could get things done with secessionists.
Segregationists, rather.
Yeah.
Because he was a segregationist.
But you know what?
There was a modicum of respect there.
And everybody was just like, oh.
He called my son.
That was the thing, yeah.
And he was talking to rich donors yesterday and saying, a lot of people are villainizing you.
Don't listen to them.
I need you.
You're just as patriotic as any fucking coal smudge reprobate down there in the hills.
Oh, Jesus.
That's so fucking funny.
He is so comically bad at running for president.
He is like a character of himself.
He's just very bad at running for president.
He just says the dumbest shit.
That's why I keep thinking, I'm like, is he getting bad advice or is he just unadvisable?
He's a mad cat.
He just talks his way into, paints himself to a corner.
So his entire staff are behind a curtain just biting their nails off every event because he's just rattling off insane shit.
Ever since, ever since somebody pointed out that maybe he's a little too touchy-feely with women,
he's made no less than four jokes about like young girls like under 13
and like you know doing the shit like hey talking to her brothers hey you have one job to do it's
to keep them away from this one and saying shit like oh if i was your age that kind of shit
after after he said if i was your age to girls less than 13? Oh, yeah.
He said that once.
I didn't see that, but that wouldn't surprise me.
Does he think that's how Trump, he's going the Trump route.
Does he think that's how Trump got elected?
Yeah.
He think that that's why Trump got elected or the locker room talk or whatever the fuck?
Uh-huh.
I don't doubt it even slightly.
This is a Trump angle.
Well, he was doing that back at the turn of the year, the first of the year.
He was like, I'm not apologizing for anything I've said.
No, I remember that.
I was kind of, it's, I don't, it's a little surprising, honestly.
I just can't imagine him not getting better advice than this.
The fucking Democrats.
I swear to goddamn Christ.
the fucking democrats i swear to god damn christ well i do i wonder if it's um my sort of conspiracy theory has been that the reason there's so many candidates
well i don't know i guess maybe the reason there's so many candidates is because they all think trump
would be easy to beat and i kind of agree i still kind of think that you could that's why that's why
fucking tanya just put her hat in the ring today.
If she gets the nomination, she's going to win.
Right.
Let your canny dog catcher get a win.
It's the one express ticket to the presidency.
Against Trump?
Because if you win your primary,
you've basically got this fucker beat.
Really?
That's what y'all think?
I feel like...
A week ago, I wasn't wasn't sure now i'm pretty sure
well i only say this i've been in oklahoma where i stumbled upon a trump rally outside of a fucking
uh rent to own a straight pride parade with confederate flags no not just a confederate
confederate flag this motherfucker was wearing a conf a Confederate hoodie zipped up with the hood on, and it was 90 degrees outside.
Damn.
Sweating to own the lives.
These people ain't right.
Yeah, dehydration on the lives.
I had never seen in person a poster that said straight pride.
Heat exhaustion on the lives.
It was more jarring than I thought it would be.
Here, I just want to say something.
And a Trump flag, too. exhaustion it was more jarring than i thought it would be here i just want to say something generally when you flash your titties to own somebody that's not what you're supposed to do
to own them that's like uh that's a good thing well that's a net positive for them
they probably thought you were showing them hoots for support my my this was they're like hell yeah
man that's some titties well my line was which i didn't get it out
loud or quick enough was my queer pussy be yanking that was what i wanted to say i was trying to yell
at them they're like i was trying to bring out a southern rap homage to ladies they were probably
like to take down these second straight that's right oh that's pussies. Pussies yanking. I love pussies.
Beer and pussies yanking.
But we stopped across the street and stood there for a while.
And then we were in so much shock.
And then we got in the car and left. And I was like, Michelle, we just missed
our opportunity to make out in front of these
motherfuckers. That's what we should have done.
But we were just in total shock.
Well, they'd probably like that
too, though.
What do you do? What do, they... I don't know.
What do you do?
What do you do?
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know, either.
I think the thing to do is to throw shit at them that hurts.
I assume if you are holding a sign that says straight pride that you hate yourself.
Right.
You hate pleasure.
Right.
You're afraid of tits.
You're actually not horny at all.
No, yeah.
So showing them boobs was probably...
I just thought...
I don't know.
I mean, I just flashed my bra, really.
But I have a lot of boob, and no bra can really contain all of it.
So it's still a lot of boob.
I just didn't know what else to do, really.
I don't know. uh throwing glitter is always you know i should always carry a glitter bomb you're right that's
a mistake you get you gave the straight pride guys a better treatment than you gave your own
good friend on his 30th birthday god damn you've seen just as much of my boobs than they have i assure you at pound lake i see i see
wow it was bizarre well the photo was pretty bizarre it was like six people yeah and a kid
and right as we was leaving a chickasaw officer came up and then they were gone he made them leave yeah but um oh that sent me down a
really fascinating rabbit hole because you were you were asking me was oklahoma ever even part
of the confederacy yeah i was like and i asked chela's sister who's lived there for years i was
like was oklahoma in the fucking confederacy she's like i don't fucking know i don't know any of this
shit it just seems so bizarre to me to see that in Oklahoma. I just don't.
So here's the tea.
The tea is extremely.
I don't know how you would classify this.
The tea is horseshoe theory woke.
So the tea.
What happened in the.
I can already tell I'm not going to understand this.
Speak slowly. Oklahoma was not a state at the time it was
reserved you know indian territory and there were five indian nations there and they all
went for the confederacy they were all pro-confederate yeah supposedly according to
history according to history what does support mean that probably
has more to do with just the proximity to texas than anything else that i'd imagine
yeah yeah and like most of those i don't know my my dates are bad but like the chickasaw
were like they were originally from mississippi they were like Trail of Tears and out of there.
My baby, she's, what's that one song?
Tim McGraw.
Tim McGraw.
They were forced out of Mississippi and even some of Kentucky.
Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi.
It was like a huge range where Chickasaw Nation was.
What a bad song.
What a truly bad song.
No, the Tim McGraw song.
Not one of his better moments.
Is Chickasaw in that?
I think it's Chippewa my baby she's
yeah damn i'm pretty sure the choctaw nation actually broke off from the chickasaw nation
they were like brothers who got in a battle i don't know according to white history books
right right so you think white history books rewrote the history books to make the indians
pro-confederate crazier things have been written into white
history books much crazier things that i mean like everything that we know about native americans is
kind of like i heard i was taught in schools that you know they said they're the ones that sold
their own land for trinkets you know right like that's what we were told about our own mineral rights. You know, it's like, well, your grandma did it.
Yeah.
I mean, this is whatever.
Right.
Tell as old as time.
But so Michelle's sister works for the nation.
And I guess that's like the job you want around there.
And she lives in Ada, Oklahoma, which is the headquarters of the Chickasaw Nation.
And everything she was telling me sounds like they are running a successful socialist government that's how I'd for their
people yeah it is a human it's not money-centered it is a human-centered like like government they
have a comp they have like a health care line a health care you know judiciary commerce they have
all this broken up it's like a full functioning government the chick-saw nation is like 60 some thousand people in many counties in oklahoma and maybe
even a county or two outside of oklahoma all free health care a ton of programs like
if you can't find a job they pay you to uh if you can't find a job you like or keep it they pay you to do work training uh-huh like
like small business grants just they have over 200 programs for their people and there are no
millionaires like there are no i guess the governor which is like you know the main guy
right he he makes like a million dollars a year or something. Damn. That's like his stipend.
His salary.
Yeah.
But there are no CEOs.
There are no, no one, no one has multiple millions of dollars.
Nobody.
Damn.
Every, like almost all the resources and land are shared.
That sounds pretty tight.
There's obviously a lot more to know.
I was there for three days.
And hanging out with a bunch of white people.
But it seemed pretty fucking cool to me. yeah that's pretty cool but so the straight pride
protesters weren't there they were where were did you see straight pride they were downtown ada
they i mean i'm pretty sure they were white people oh but um fascinating i'm gonna go out
on the site yeah yeah they were yeah but like yeah the chicks
all nation that pay for your birth i mean it's health care it's all free they pay for your birth
they pay for your funeral yeah like that's really key it's bullshit that you have to pay for your
that your family has to pay for your funeral not to mention you seen the price tag on a casket
lately terrence i mean you're pretty morbid. Have you...
I've been a little window shopping.
Have you been window shopping, wondering what you're going to bury yourself in?
I have.
I've thought quite a bit about it, actually.
Yeah, well.
Cream bait my ass, please.
Picked up some literature from Average Funeral Home today, actually.
Yeah, you know what?
I want you to use my ashes to glitter bomb Mitch McConnell.
Just dust me over his fucking ass.
I'll haunt him as long as the rest of his days.
He'll probably not live.
He's the sad thing.
All the evil ones there.
Yeah.
I don't want to be cremated.
I want my body to return back to the soil.
Still can return back to the soil.
Well, you know, like...
You need ashes.
I mean...
I'll bury you under a tree.
I would prefer to, like like be sent to the body farm at 100 Neyland Stadium.
Well, that's Knoxville.
In Tennessee, there are a bunch of legal ways that you can decompose of your body, but not in Kentucky.
Somebody tell that to Ellis Keys.
Oh, God. How many bodies has he decomp no ellis keys is that runs a body farm what y'all didn't know that what the fuck that's not
that's not that's not legal bring your body chip to my house well i mean does ellis key strike you
as a man with a great deal of respect for the law wait so he lets people bring their dead and not not in a
cool way like you shouldn't have respect for the law i'm talking about like you mean he allows
people to bring their dead loved ones up there and bury them and bury them up there i'm telling you
under that fucking piece of shit rock property let's tell you How does he advertise this? Terrence says L.S. Key's good now.
Okay, let's schedule a walkthrough with him.
Okay.
And let's go check out. My buddy Terrence here has terminal illness.
Yeah.
Terminal irony poisoning.
He's going to die any day now.
You look pretty sick anyway.
We'll carry you.
Look at the T.L., man.
It's only a matter of time.
Right.
He's looking for a nice resting place for his human vessel.
And what we'll do is tell him that you have a hearing problem and that we have to audio
record everything to make it really loud.
Okay.
And that you'll have to have headphones and a microphone while you're on Tom's back.
We could just put you in a little red wagon or something.
Okay, cool.
Look at him.
He's pitiful.
Do I really look sick?
Do I look ill?
No.
No, I look like I'm dying.
I could put some makeup under your eyes
and make you look a little more ill.
I talked to Tom in Bill Clinton voice
for probably three days straight this weekend.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Tom.
Hey, Tom.
I need you to come back to the back seat.
Hey, Tom.
I've eaten nothing but Spanish for 13 years.
But what we figured out was it was the fucking highwaymen,
the motorcycle gang, which we've literally talked about.
The protesters.
They were the highway men.
I told y'all.
Me and Tom,
we were sitting outside of a gas station
a few weeks ago,
me and Tom.
Me, Terrence, and Sam Adeldingdon.
Yeah, and Matt Carter.
And we saw,
who did we see, Tom?
We saw the main dude.
The main dude.
The Duke.
Yeah.
The 1% of the 1%ers. The 1% of the 1%ers.
The 1% of the 1%ers.
The head of the Kentucky Highwaymen walking out with a case of Bud Ice.
And nothing but shorts and sandals.
Ball shorts, no underwear, just dicks swinging in the sheen.
The head of the Kentucky Highwaymen says, fuck no shoes, no shirt, no service.
He completely flouted.
He didn't have a shirt on?
He didn't have a shirt on.
They let him buy beer.
How the fuck did you know who he was?
Well, you know, Tom's got like an encyclopedic knowledge of these people.
I know these guys.
Well, I went to school with this boy.
Listen.
He's from Letcher County?
Hell yeah, he's from Letcher County.
We tried to fuck him up.
We did.
We're like, bro, we're not about that straight pride bullshit.
We ain't about that straight pride bullshit.
We're Hells Angels, but we support the gay community.
Do they have any beef with the Seven Sons?
No, Seven Sons are a puppet club for these guys.
For the one percentage?
These guys are the bad dudes.
Seven Sons are just like...
Social. Yeah, I mean,ons are just like... Social.
Yeah, I mean, they're just like a very local club.
But the bad dudes, the bad dudes, the ones that have 1% on their jackets.
What does that mean?
What does 1% mean?
The etymology is not clear, but from what I can gather from the literature,
it says that what's going on is that the American Motorcycle Association said,
released a statement back in
maybe it's the 50s or 60s when these like motorcycle gangs were getting off the ground
that said 99 of american motorcyclists are law nice good law-abiding citizens but the one percent
so the one percent didn't that the rallying cry didn't start in Zuccotti Park No it started at Altamont
Oh my god
When the Hells Angels
Stabbed that dude at the Rolling Stones concert
Yeah yeah
Jesus Christ
I think that with the Trail Bellies doing more live shows
Like bigger ones we should get
Motorcyclists to do security for us yeah hell yeah that'd
be so fun good ones not straight pride ones have y'all ever read if y'all badass ones that are also
left i'm not a uh i'm not a hunter thompson guy but uh hell's angels by hunter thompson is
extremely good yes it's excellent excellence tanya and in. And in fact, I bet like...
Not buying it.
Well, okay, we'll get the neoliberal biker to...
No, I'm with you.
Security.
Y'all know I bartended a biker bar for like two years.
They were mostly pretty good guys.
Yeah.
Did you run into any bad dudes?
Only one fight broke out while I worked there.
Really?
While I was there.
That's pretty good.
Out of how long did you work there?
Like almost two years.
Did you like tell this guy like, hey, you're all's reputation.
Like, you know, I was kind of unfounded.
And he's like, yeah, I know.
I don't know.
Help me out here.
No, I stayed the fuck out.
No, they took care of it.
Yeah, I know.
So I'm just trying to get some vouchers for charter schools.
Take these vouchers.
They're for charter schools.
They take care of their own.
They don't like to look bad.
Oh, I see.
So they kicked him out on their own.
All I'm trying to do is lower my premiums in the affordable carriac market
the worst ones were the rocket dudes though are those bikers those are not bikers well they showed
up on bike night covered head toe and fucking i think we should take it back football like pads
and everything like they were gonna fall off of that thing and a little elbow pad was gonna help
them really yeah they were dressed like linebackers
well i'm being whatever but they you know they have those like motocross shirts that are like
have those like thick pads and down the arm you know what i mean i know what you're talking about
it's like to beef you up a little bit yeah it was because they like to do the cool shit like
standing on the motorcycle like let's go down the highway no that's what the dumb dick in my holler does on his dirt bike questionable behavior and then he
has the audacity to flip me the bird when i'm like get out of the fucking road you little prick
hell no society has no hold on this outlaw one of them little dicks like slid into almost into
my tire one day and i was just like and he flipped me the bird like seven
years old i should have got whipped his ass damn that's badass i owe him one little time just
lawless my i think i think i told this story before on the show maybe uh tell it to don's
but i think it bears repeating since we're on the subject is uh my uncle don did you never know bulldog when you
lived in town the garbage man i don't know did he hang out with rerun no that's my other uncle
i can't remember bulldog dog for short they call him dog um he was a member of the pagans but before they were the pagans they were a club known as the
offensively titled cherokee indians and they were all they had their origins in the carnival
so they were all carnies and like you know worked rides and all this stuff
and before they dissolved into the pagans which you know required them to have their own bikes
and all that stuff,
it was just about seven or eight carnies sharing a 1947 Harley Panhead.
And to get into this badass club where you shared one bike,
you took turns riding the bike, you had to start the scrambler up.
You know, the scrambler with all the buckets.
Do I know the scrambler?
And to get in, you had to jump from the control tower into one of the buckets. Do I know the scrambler? And to get in, you had to jump from the control tower into one of the buckets.
And Dog said, nobody ever made it.
And they just kind of let you in.
But he said that he broke his ribs in his job, dude.
Fuck.
Man, imagine being completely lawless.
That could kill you.
Oh, yeah.
Easy.
Totally.
Totally.
kill you oh yeah easy totally totally like imagine being like i read this book um when i was in living in austin about the comanches and uh you know they were like um sort of like basically
nomadic like they traveled around on horses and just completely law Like, abided by nobody's rules. Bad dudes.
Bad dudes.
Just imagine abiding, like, living by no societal norms or rules at all.
Just completely anti-social.
Well, that's what all the outlaw bikers did.
Like, the Hells Angels and shit, they would just do, like, anti-social, like, gay sex and shit.
Like, there's stories in Hunter Thompson's book about them just, like, giving each other blowjo sex and shit like there's stories in hunter thompson's book about
them just like giving each other blow jobs and shit like that and it was more it was less about
like you know the the homosexuality or whatever pleasure activism hey is that what the book is
about they were tracing their planner pleasure lineage yeah But I think it's funny that like all these. Why wait till you're in jail to have a good time?
Exactly.
You don't got to go to jail to have a good ass time.
It's not all that great because they also did like gang rapes and shit.
So with every ease of view.
Where two dicks come together.
And they also were big supporters of NAMBLA with Allen Ginsberg.
Oh, yeah.
Which is the Man Boy Love.
The National Association of Man Boy Love.
Act like you've never went to the website, Taryn.
Like I'm not a card carrying member.
You're not a member of NAMBLA.
Taryn purposefully stutters around the website like from the uh it's about it's a free speech issue it's not
no i've just been a member since i was like six
selling pictures of myself jesus speaking of carnies have we talked about kick booty
the ride kick booty you know what i'm talking about i never heard of like hillbilly it was
like the hillbilly themed ride that came through here and it like fucked so many people up they
finally had to no and it played like country music super loud and when they cut the music off like the whole
time you were holding on it was kind of like big swings like a big swing but it kind of tilted back
and forth and two uh two swings were together and so you it was a partner ride and you held on to
the swing in front of you you're like partner or behind you whatever and when they would cut when
he cut the music off the like hillbilly guy he was like wearing like overalls and a straw hat
and everything he'd go kick booty booty booty oh i have heard about this guy it would echo and then
you kick the other swing as hard as you can my cousin brian about he he got kicked into a briar
patch at the mountain laurel festival one year and had to go to the ER.
God damn.
He ripped his whole arm off.
I bet the carnival companies have to
carry a ridiculous amount of insurance.
To run a kick booty.
To run kick booty, but also
you'll see them setting up and running those rides
and then the buckets will just fall off and shit.
Yeah.
The bucket fell off the bullet one year
into the kentucky river down nobody was on it they were just setting up and they thought they
had it bolted on good and it was doing that boom then all of a sudden it got to the top
it just when it was coming down it just flew off and bounced and just tumbled to the river
and then they fished it out and put it back up? They fished it out and put it back up.
Still got fish in it and shit.
Where do they get this metal?
Where do they find the materials used to create carnival rides?
I don't know.
Like old coal tipples probably.
Here's my question.
Here's my big question about the carnival.
My big question is this.
carnival my big question is this
you could ride those cola coasters it would probably be pretty fun oh yeah i mean as a kid i was i was like always wanting to
ride the fucking coal rails that
went over the roller coaster yeah here's my question about the carnival and perhaps anybody
that's worked in the carnival can can speak to this but what happens to all those rabbits and
goldfish when you don't win them oh i think you know no they go right into the kentucky river that's what i would do i'll
just let them go and just be like no the rabbits too the rabbits go in the river the fish go on
the land in a tied up sack god shit i tell you i i reject your notion of the creepy carny uh
tanya i think carny i think being in the carny would be fucking awesome.
If I had no other, you know.
If you didn't have a podcast to run.
No future.
Yeah.
I mean, my Uncle Don turned out, Dog turned out okay.
He's got a tattoo of a naked woman on his underarm.
Dance Petunia.
I mean,
it's funny when he,
now he's,
he goes to church and stuff.
And so he had like the green,
like the guitar string,
green tattoo,
naked woman on his,
on his forearm.
When he goes to church,
he puts a bandaid over her bush.
So I was always wondering, I was like i guess he's like his arms are like marked up with like the like the like guitar string green tattoos i can't believe he don't go get it covered
he can't wear the long sleeve shirts because they burn him up
but i've always i was like god damn, does Uncle Don harm himself?
Turns out it's a modesty thing.
That's hilarious.
My absolute favorite way to describe someone is that now they're into church and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Dog's best friend was a guy named Sunset Breeden who just passed, I think, last year.
God rest his soul.
I love Sunset.
But they were both in the same gang, biker gang together.
And they were up in Detroit one time at a Jerry Lee Lewis concert.
And they stole his hubcaps off of his Cadillac.
He had the swingers on.
Jerry Lee Lewis Cadillac. The Jerry Lee Lewis Cadillac. Stole his hubcaps off of his Cadillac. He had the swingers on. Jerry Lee Lewis Cadillac.
The Jerry Lee Lewis Cadillac.
Stole his hubcaps.
And Sunset had them until he lost them in a divorce settlement.
Forever.
That's incredible.
Jerry Lee surprisingly ended up outliving him.
Good God.
Wow.
Well, Tom, I tried to impress you on my vacation by winning money at a blackjack table but he didn't even respond didn't respond to my winnings well i didn't see
it it was it was friday night after our show she was texting us tom was in i was suited he was he
was signing titties he had already walked over to Platinum.
He was completely delirious.
I was over at Platinum Dolls, zanned out of my fucking head.
Doing some dose of Percocet with some strippers.
Do you think you got us any new fans with the live show?
Any people that came along with their friend and were like, fuck yeah.
I hope so.
Well, I will say this.
The bartender was really kind of a jerk to me
before the show um and granted he had every reason to be because i had to bug him with about 100
different questions to set everything up and so he's kind of he's okay not kind of he was a jerk
to me but after the show he was so nice to me so he must have really liked the show or i think or
i think we just did a good job packing the house up
and they made a lot of money. Or we just got them good tips.
Good, good.
So it's always fun to
say tip your bartender. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Granted, so I guess he might
be listening to this now.
So thanks for having us.
Sorry, Terrence was a big dick.
Sorry that I was a big
high maintenance dick
he's a diva
I'm gonna get you some
those jogging pants
from Walmart across the butt
just gonna say diva
diva across the ass
those have about retired out
the print
across the ass pants
I don't think they ever will though i don't think
they'll i think there will always be a sort of like residual family dollar is gonna keep them
alive yeah yeah for sure well anyway i more than doubled my money nice good job no thanks to the
dirty old man at the table who i had to cuss out why was he just being dirty there's always somebody who's well he
just did you know no i didn't know i didn't know nobody there were you playing it at a chickasaw
uh casino casino okay yeah but which casinos do make me nervous because everything's so fucking
it's like the dealer is so legit with a fucking collared shirt on you know it ain't your fucking
home game you gotta know what you're doing so i always i always start my bets low and i
try to like get comfortable first well of course you know, I think I got a couple eights and whatever.
Statistically, you're supposed to split aces and eights.
He's like, oh, you need to split those.
And I was like, just it was like my third round.
And I was like, just play your fucking hand, man.
Right.
I just didn't say nothing.
I was just like.
Wait, the dealer said that?
No, this other fucker at the table.
Oh, I was like, damn, that's real weird.
No, no.
But anyway, then he kept telling me, like, while I was thinking if I wanted to stay or hit, he would tell me what to do.
And finally, I was just like, dude, I didn't come over here to take orders from you.
Right.
Like, I mean, he said, honey, I've been playing this game longer than you've been alive.
I was playing this game, you've been alive i was playing this game
you shit and green i thought i'd help you and you know he was after me in the deal so he i get some
of it because there's a way the cards fall and like if i wasn't getting the hits i needed or
like was taking cards that i shouldn't have it throws off the whole table right but i wasn't
making bad plays i'm not a fucking idiot I was just taking a minute to goddamn think
about it so finally I was just like well I don't I don't it's fine I don't need your help thank you
um and then so he's quiet for a minute and then he comes back and says something about
I don't even know what the back what would he come back but I was already pissed so I just said
listen you've already lost more money since I've been sitting here than i've ever seen anybody lose so you are right he had pulled out
he had already lost all his chips and cashed another 300 he was just losing his ass black
jack's a fickle mistress i think i gotta wait to beat it though he always does here's my here's my
thing about blackjack theoretically if you had an unlimited
sack of money and this is probably dumb now that i think about it because there are ways
but if you just doubled your bed every time could you could you lose
if you had if you had a theoretical like bottomless sack of money well yeah i'm gonna be
how if you doubled your bet every time yeah every single time so next i'm gonna go like 4 8 16
you mean whatever comes after 16 32 statistically a blackjack like you're gonna hit a blackjack at least yeah and if you double
your money up 17 times though it's you're already over a million dollars oh my god damn card talk
i've i've always i've always made money but it's because you it's like once i've doubled i just
leave the table i'm like bye it's like car talk with cards. Car talk.
Click and clack.
Anyway, the point of this story about this old guy was it's just like another quintessential
boomer interaction.
Once I like jerked him for losing money, both the dealer and the other guy at the table
started laughing at him.
They started laughing.
And so he got real quiet.
And then the next thing he came back with
was some story about vietnam the only thing he could drag out was it red he had to come back
and start talking about vietnam like that's the only thing he could dig out that he had on me
was fucking vietnam what the fuck i was just like i'm not impressed by your yeah napalming of a
pacification of women and exactly like the greatest thing he could hang his hat on at a
at a blackjack table was killing children in another country as a teenager i was just like
wow wow it means you hit them low
did you chime in with that you're a communist
and you were actually sympathetic
to the big communists
I would say shit
yeah you should have said well they beat you
you got your ass beat there too
your asses used to get beat
like a drum bitch
no I can't
I was just like oh okay here we go i had a more
benign boomer interaction the other day but it's still it's still fucking chills my nuts to fucking
think about it i was on the way i was on the way over i was on the way over to virginia the other day. And you know that flat spot
that's like on the right over,
like if you turn left,
you can go up to Pound,
but right before there's this little flat spot
you can pull over.
Yeah.
This reporter called me
and was wanting to talk about the prison.
And I pulled over into that flat spot
and I was talking to him.
This is about the only place
you can get service over
through that little patch.
And I was talking to him and this guy you know like there's like four or five
like nice houses over in there but i didn't think that was anything this guy pulls up
in a like a brand new ford f-250 blue like you know all this stuff and he's probably 65 70 you
know got the button down got his little side part, you know.
He plays golf at Raven Rock?
Probably one of those types.
And he pulls up over to my car and, like, pulls up so close that he, like, blocks my,
like, if I were to open the door, like, I'd have swung and hit his truck, which is what
I should have done in retrospect and just fucked him up.
He's probably wanted you to do that so he could have a pretense to shoot me but i kept my cool and so i rolled the window down i said hey hold on just one second
and uh i rolled the window down he said can i help you i saw i was just i was taking this phone
call and the service was patchy here so i just pulled over here to this flat spot and it was
like here's the fucking shoulder of the road.
It's a little gravel spot.
And then there's a road that goes up there.
And he goes, well, this is private property.
Are you talking about that?
You were on the fucking shoulder of the road.
Are you talking about that little spot where there's that mural of Francis Gary Powers?
No, no, no.
Just before that.
That's where I pulled up to, to finish taking the call.
Okay.
It's just like a nothing. It's just like a nothing.
It's just like a little flat spot, shoulder, and then there's a road that goes back to some houses.
Boomers love getting in their cars and driving 30 yards.
And flexing their nuts about property.
There's nothing that these old fuckers love more than talking about their fucking property.
And to mow their goddamn grass.
I should have said
jokes on you motherfucker i'm a communist i don't believe in property your move
and then he just shot me in my own vehicle
last words yeah my god well this is private property like you can't take a fucking phone call
yeah it was i mean it was just like very like but that's
like their mo they love to just like oh it's happened to me multiple times just testing water
i'm telling you i would love on on everything i love i'd love to catch one of these fuckers
about 70 years old out at walmart or on neutral turf and then smart off to me i swear i'd fuck
one up i i would take i would take you've been needing listen you
i would be needing i would take he's been needing to dish out an ass i'm telling you
i'm afraid what's gonna happen he's gonna catch one i would say i ain't afraid to catch one i
ain't afraid to catch one if if listen listen oh if one of these motherfuckers, one of these motherfuckers age 70 or older, took an attitude with me, I would absolutely beat the fuck out of them right in front of God and everybody.
I have to admit, I did over the weekend, after I watched that Taylor Swift video, I fantasized about kicking her ass.
Did you?
Yeah, normally I don't care about stuff like that
because you know there were parts of the video i was into of course but you know how sensitive i
am about trailer parks you know i gotta you know i'm glad you brought this up because i i watched
it and i was so confused and i think maybe yeah i was like maybe maybe i've just like being sort of naive but
i just didn't understand the sort of artistic choice to set it in a trailer park rather than
i don't know apartment complex or uh surely in this era in this era we're in somebody had to
say hey well do you think that she was trying to say are we just reading her in bad faith like do
you think she was like trying to say, are we just reading her in bad faith? Like, do you think she was, like, trying to say something else and we just misunderstood it?
No, because all their signs had, like, misspellings and, like, Confederate flags or some shit.
Well, but they also lived in the trailer park.
Taylor Swift's character in the video and the Queer Eye guys and all the other queer people lived in the trailer.
The Fab Five.
It was a trailer park where there were conservatives, but also, you know, queer know queer people and interesting terence you've given me something to think about i hadn't
thought about they had gentrified the trailer park exactly they had gentrified the trailer well
actually you can't yeah actually you can't really even say anything about that because
in malibu you heard about this like in malibu like the world's richest trailer park like all
these celebrities have trailers there and it's like kind of a kitsch thing and they all like drive golf carts on this
i would shoot every one of them fucking execution style every one of them so well the jokes on them
because guess what trailers notoriously don't hold up to storms and stuff and well malibu's
right on the coast so bye bitch that would be pretty good you know 20 30 years rich people to move into trailer parks
in like tornado alley in the midwest oklahoma oh you know that fucking oklahoma trailer this shit
is so tight and it's like just so ripe for like you know like yeah doing some shit yeah yeah
you're doing some shit doing some. Bring your pink neon trailer house.
I got three strikes on Taylor, though.
This is the third and final one, though.
The first one was her, Kanye pulling the receipts on her ass for famous.
That was number one.
Explain this.
Taylor was, like, flailing and saying all this shit about how, like, you know, Kanye West has that line of famous about.
Oh, that he made that bitch famous.
Taylor's those missex, I made that bitch famous.
Yeah.
And she acted like he didn't green, she didn't green light that.
But they had the video of them actually talking about it.
Right.
Like on the phone and everything.
Oh, and she had, gave him permission to do it?
It was just like
little Taylor getting exploited again
or whatever. So they had the
receipts. That was strike one.
Okay. Strike two
for her was ripping off Scott Benson.
My man Scott Benson. Oh,
yeah. I forgot about that.
I don't know what you're talking about.
We had him on the show
Bombs Fall on Twitter.
Made Night in the Woods.
You know Scott.
Yeah.
The video game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She ripped him off.
What was the character?
Some of his, like his character, like his little.
Yeah.
Character.
It was very obviously a plagiarism.
It was like a YouTube promo, I think, for a video she was putting out.
Yeah.
And like, they just totally ripped Scott's characters off.
Yeah.
And now this is the third thing. So'm sorry taylor swift's canceled you heard it here first folks hate to break it to you swifties it's over
sell your merch while you still can that shit's gonna bottom out it's ironic because remember
she started as a country artist you know that's what'm saying. It's not. This is her.
I'm sure.
She's got some bops.
I'm going to lie about it.
Absolutely.
I'm sure that somewhere along the planning of this, there was some kind of back to my roots.
Uh-huh.
Conversation about the trailer park and the whole country bumpkin bullshit.
Yeah.
Where's she from?
Who gives a fuck?
Isn't she from...
Didn't she grow up on a Christmas tree farm or something?
Or was she the one that was raised by wolves?
Or was that Jewel?
I think it's Jewel.
Jewel was raised by wolves.
She was raised on a Christmas tree farm.
These hands are not my own.
They're not yours.
You know what I'm talking about.
She was raised by wolves, Tanya.
Their hands aren't hers because she was raised by wolves.
They have paws.
Wolves don't have hands.
Oh, shit.
Anyway, fuck Tyler.
I don't keep listening to her bops, but...
I didn't like...
The song itself wasn't good.
It was incredibly annoying.
But the video, I watched literally three times back to back.
Because I was like, am I missing something here?
What's good about this?
That's what people kept saying.
Why did all these people sign off on this?
But were they given limited contracts?
They didn't know what the end game was here?
Yeah, that's the thing. There's nothing inherently wrong with setting your music video in a trailer park but it was like you don't you think i disagree listen if i if i would have ever
made it as a rapper you best you bet your ass i'd have been out there fucking Tommy Hilfiger
boxers
popping out of my jeans but not at a trailer park yeah i had a trailer what pisses me off
if she said this up like you know like queer people aren't welcome in trailer parks my queer
ass has been in many a fucking trailer oh they were trying to run her out of the that's what
the premise was i see i didn't i don't know that's what i was trying to figure out well you watched
it more than me hell i don't know but that's what it seemed to me it did kind of seem like that but
it was like so passing it was like literally one second of a maybe i'm just being grumpy about
trailer valor because that's basically all i have but i don't know the whole thing it, it's back to this, like, tiny house situate culture.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I didn't mean.
It's deep-seated trauma I need to talk to therapists about, Terrence.
Okay.
I didn't mean that, like.
Growing up in a single wide with seven people.
It ain't cool.
I didn't mean that.
Like, obviously, you know my thoughts on that.
Like, I guess I just meant that, like, if you're telling a story, like, you know my thoughts on that like i i guess i just meant
that like if you're telling a story like you know there's artistic license you sort of can tell the
story in the setting that you think would whatever i didn't understand the point that she was trying
to make if she was trying to like shit on people that live in a trailer park it was like in the
weirdest way i've ever seen it was like she was trying to please everybody once.
I don't know.
I don't even know.
It's like in my sister's trailer park, the king of the fucking park is a queen in a crop top.
That sells drugs.
Yeah.
It's like a black queen in a crop top is the king of the whole hood.
But if Taylor steps in there now, she's getting her ass beat.
For sure.
She's getting her card pulled.
This was a self-fulfilling prophecy by old Tay.
Yeah, so basically she was saying, maybe that was what she was saying.
Maybe she was saying, like, look.
I can't hack it in the trailer park.
I can't hack it in the trailer park anymore.
I'll get my fucking ass kicked.
Only this Malibu Barbie version.
Right.
It was totally that.
Because the trailers themselves were like pink and yellow
i was more heartbroken by the queer uh crowd being in there i know you're into the fab five
i've known taylor's trifling i just thought better of them you know i did too but especially the one
that's a communist yeah he tried to remember that yeah he tried to uh I remember that. Yeah. He tried to put a plug in for us and he got cut off.
Ryan Reynolds was also in it.
RuPaul.
Yeah.
But.
Oh, and fucking Katy Perry's ass.
Right, right, right.
Well, what's funny is that I heard before, or I read somewhere before I saw the video,
I watched it with Michelle and her 11-year-old niece in the airport.
And before, we'd heard that her and Katy Perry make out in the video.
But that never happened.
No.
That was just a built-up hype.
The whole thing is just to fucking exploit Pride Month.
That's the thing.
No, exactly.
That's what sucks so bad about it.
Anyways, so what else is going on?
Earlier you mentioned throwing your ashes at Mitch McConnell like glitter.
Did you see what he said about reparations yesterday?
No.
He made mention of reparations?
He did, indeed.
The day before Juneteenth.
Listen to what he said about reparations. It's the day before juneteenth listen to what he said about
reparations it's the most it's the most insane thing i've ever heard he said that reparations
for impact he said the reparations are not a good idea because of the civil war the civil rights
movement and barack obama that's what he said this guy also just like he just yeah yeah he was basically saying that like
anytime we released you from slavery basically yes exactly we let you sit on the front of the
fucking bus we let you be president we gave you a fucking presidency yeah what else do you want
that's basically what he's saying i what else i would want is to take Mitch into a tiled room with a drain in the floor
but you know
it's frowned upon in this country
you know
also though on the other end of that I mean
on the left there was a
I've seen Jacob and
writers call reparations
a parlor debate
what does that even mean
like just something that's not like realistic
or whatever that we should just kind of like
cast aside in favor of something that's, you know.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a big debate on the left at the moment.
I mean, like I didn't watch it,
but Adolph Reed and Kiyonga Yamada-Taylor
had a debate pro and anti reparations a few weeks ago.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
I can't imagine why you wouldn't.
Whatever.
Right.
I don't know.
I mean, it's all these days. talk is all about you know what we can
achieve yeah what's winnable what's uh which i which you know it's like one of those old dead
victorian poets said a man's expectation should far exceed his grasp yeah it's like what are we
gonna keep settling for my fucking god what and honestly, what do we have to lose?
Right, right.
Hey, I'm with you.
I think we have a world to win.
God damn it.
It's unbearable.
God damn it, Tom.
I do believe that, yes.
Anyways.
We're all going to end up in a concentration camp any goddamn way yeah yeah
it's pretty bad what do we got to lose that was the other thing that's the aoc they finally they
finally caught on to everyone knowing that there are concentration camps at the border because aoc
tweeted it well the funniest thing about it is that if you come out the gate
pissed off that people are calling the camps
where people are concentrated
concentration camps,
then you're kind of giving away
the ball game.
Wait, what did the guy say?
He asked
off it.
You're talking about Chris Hayes? it was Chris Hayes.
Hey, Paul Hayes.
A hit dog caller. Hey, Paul Hayes.
Hey, Paul Hayes here.
Terrence, what
would you call these if not
concentration camps?
What would you call them? This guy at the radio station.
Did he call in to the radio station?
No, but me and Tom have created
a... We've done an Ace Fraley Keys thing here.
He calls five times a day
at Apple Shop.
We've created...
Paul Hayes does still?
Paul Chris Hayes.
Yes!
Still.
Oh, Chris Paul Hayes.
He called today.
Chris Paul Hayes.
He called today during a meeting
and somebody got up
and walked to the phone
and walked back and sat down
without answering it
and everybody said,
what?
And she said,
it was Paul Hayes.
It was Paul Hayes.
I swear to God,
that was today.
I don't know how the fuck it happened, but a long time ago he managed to get tom's cell phone number
and so he used to call tom oh my god hey tom paul hey tom paul hayes what are you into
and it would always trip me out because like when he says what are you into like i thought that
meant like oh not much man what about you and then he'd be like no what are you in like what are you into like he would he would lead with like what kind of music
like music and all that kind of stuff when it obviously means like what's going on i see tom
week he called i just picked up the phone and hung it up i don't have time for this shit hey tom if
you don't call them concentration camps what'd you call them what do you call them you call them detention camps spas yeah hey tom god fucking chris hayes chris paul chris paul hayes hey tom chris paul hayes
here who's chris hayes i have a podcast it's called why is this happening
um he's a he's a pundit on msnbc you'd him. He's got glasses. Yeah, I got it.
I got it.
He's got a podcast called Why Is This Happening?
Paul Hayes at 1690 AM, the Voice of the Arts in Atlanta.
So here's the thing.
Here's the amalgamation.
Oh, fuck, man.
Hey, Tom, what are you into?
I have this podcast called What's Happening?
Why Is This Happening?
It airs nightly at 11 p.m on
am 1690 voice of the arts
this is not normal tom why is this happening why is trump our president
no we've laughed at me and Tom laugh about that all the time.
Like Chris Hayes, his entire Chris, Chris Hayes, his entire Trump post-Trump career is willful.
Just willful.
That's just feigning ignorance about why things are when we know he's actually smarter than that.
Whoa, Tom.
I'm fucking stuck.
Get rid of this goddamn chair.
Tom, why are you stuck in the chair?
Tom's stuck in a recliner.
Won't you
spend some of this Patreon money
on a real lazy boy?
Well, that would defeat the whole purpose of that lazy boy.
Which is that Tom
has to awkwardly sit in it
once a week.
I'm just going to grow and be part of this chair at some point.
Just a symbiotic relationship with this fucking chair.
Oh, shit.
Hey, Tom.
Oh, shit.
Why is the Electoral College still around?
I don't understand.
Why was the UC Electoral College, Tom?
to UC Electoral College, Tom.
Why do people look different?
Hey, Tom.
Hey, Tom, I got a big question for you.
It's a little heavy.
Why do Republicans gerrymander their districts, Tom?
I don't understand that why why does um why uh why does dan crenshaw's district look like a little water pistol
well um i just don't understand oh fuck man D.C. not have statehood yet, Tom?
Why is Puerto Rico not a state?
I want to know what about Puerto Rico and Guam.
They can serve in the military, but why don't they have statehood?
And what if Seward's falling?
Why did Alaska come into the Union?
Why did Alaska come into the Union?
Was, um, I ain't read much up on this, but was Hawaii ever controlled by the Confederates?
I'm PTSD from dealing with Paul Hayes.
Oh, fuck, man.
It's Chris Paul Hayes. It's Chris Paul Hayes.
Chris as Paul Hayes. Fuck, man. Damn. it's chris paul hayes chris paul hayes i bet you we could have paul hayes on the show and treat him like chris paul hayes oh my god oh he absolutely we could literally call him does nothing
but call tom and call the friend yeah He just calls Apple Shop all day long.
When you finally talk to him, you know what he wants?
He wants us to send him
his newest catalog because he
wants to distribute where he lives for us.
Oh yeah. We probably should make fun
of him. He's just over eager
and wants to... I've heard it for close to a decade
now, but...
Oh, I know what he wants,
Donnie. Trust me, the man calls me at inappropriate hours
hey tom what are you into perhaps we could start a seed exchange program for the end times
i'll send you some faro seeds You can send me some pinto beans there.
Maybe some half runners.
A listener messaged me.
They're sending us some herbs out of their garden.
Thanks.
How did they see I had it?
Speaking of that.
They know we need them.
Speaking of that,
someone gave me two joints
at the show on Friday night.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Shout out to that guy.
I remember your name.
I won't say it on the air. I don't want to dox you, my man fuck yeah i shout out to that guy i remember your name i won't say it on
the air i don't want to dox you my man uh also shout out to young macchiato who said i would
not remember to follow him back on twitter and i did so pat on the back shout out to everybody
that came out that was a fun crowd it was it was a great i know how know how to make a fella feel special. Now don't give me no more FOMO.
God damn.
Keep it to yourself.
I heard it was a real shit time
and that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Well, we got some more shows
coming up that Tanya will be on.
So we'll have some
announcements to make soon enough.
Stay tuned for that.
I'll let the air out of their tire so it's just the me show yeah honestly you'd probably get more tickets you'll see me and terrence just like
running down the road and talking to be speeding away in your forerunner or your uh tacoma and
chris tom chris paul hayes for drug hey tom you need a ride hey no we're good we're good. We're good, Paul.
We're just going to walk it.
Oh, shit.
Can't believe Tonya did you like that.
You two are the heart and soul of that show.
Everybody says so on the internet.
Oh, my God, man.
Oh, fuck. What? oh my god man oh fuck what hey there was that one comment left by a girl that uh didn't like that y'all wouldn't take that blood test on account of you having sex oh my god that was
the craziest comment we've ever got no thank you hey tom why is mitch mc Mitch McConnell single-handedly remade the judiciary?
Why is he such an obstructionist, Tom?
I can't do it. It sounds like crying Bill Clinton when I do it.
Yeah, it is.
That's what it sounds like.
Hey, Tom, why?
I can't do it.
Weeping Bill Clinton.
Why did Mitch McConnell end the shutdown at the first of the year? He could have ended it about four weeks earlier than it did end.
Speaking of, should I run against Mitch?
Yeah.
I think you should.
Do we as Trillbillies
have anything to lose
by running a Trillbilly
workers party ticket?
No, you should run
against Mitch
and I'll run
against Hal Rogers
and Terrence can run
against James Wiley
Crafter.
There we go.
Yeah.
Three prong attack.
Something I can handle.
No, James Wiley would have it. We'd put a hit out on you he probably would put a hit out i'd wind up with like that that uh carnival census
worker you didn't know about that census worker he'd take you out to lunch really take you out
to lunch at pine mountain grill you'd sit in his special booth and when you didn't agree
to drop out of the race, he'd hit a button
and you'd just go through the floor.
Go through the floor.
Like fucking Acme Looney Tunes bullshit.
Immediately buried alive.
Living in a dungeon underneath City Hall.
And down there it's in total darkness
and all you hear is, hey Terrence,
what are you into?
You and Ball Hayes.
And just in a dark hole for all eternity.
Well, you got two joints.
And I smuggled home a sack of edibles.
Nice.
Medical's legal in Oklahoma.
Nice.
What a coup.
Yeah.
So we all came out good on the weekend.
That's pretty good. Yeah. I made money at Blackjack.
Spent it on
gummies. So.
That sounds awesome. That a girl. That sounds great.
Um.
Well thanks Rikia. Thanks
for coming out to the show. Um.
Just want to remind everyone that
we have a Patreon. What's on our
Patreon this week Terrence? Um. This's on our Patreon this week, Terrence?
This week on our Patreon?
You mean this coming Sunday or this past Sunday?
Yeah, this coming Sunday.
Maybe if we give a little preview, we'll get more hits.
Is it going to be part two to this?
Part two of the saga of Chris Paul Hayes.
Hey, Tom, why is this happening?
It'll be one hour
of just us doing that annoying
ass thing. Oh god.
Yeah, check out the Patreon. I don't know.
The thing is, we do it
at literally the last minute.
Don't get that away.
We work very diligently
to bring you the best
content.
That's hear.
Yeah.
Are you going to be on it this weekend or no?
You got shit going on this weekend?
I do have shit going on, but I'm home.
I could probably squeeze you in.
This is what I have going on this weekend.
I have a solstice party.
I have an in-law family reunion.
I have a camping trip and a birthday party.
God damn.
That's my weekend itinerary god damn
jesus christ that's a lot going on and i got people uh hounded me to do a fucking sunday run
um in a fucking raft down the clinch and i can't fit that in i gotta ask to do that as well
i gotta work so oh yeah you flipping pizza i gotta work this week i'll be washing my
hair our pizza boy yeah that's right little mario over here which uh we're making the pie
hey terrence i like pickles on my pizza too
um yeah i'll be working so if you like pizza, come downtown Whitesburg and go find me.
Come party.
But also go to the Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Trailbilly Workers Party.
Just give as you feel led to.
Give till it feels good.
Give till it feels good.
$5 a month.
Feels real good.
Our suggested donation is $27.
You will immediately receive a package t-shirt, a dugout, and a camo koozie.
That's right.
You will definitely immediately receive all three of those items.
Definitely lying about that.
You know, though, the thing about it is that we're growing.
With growth comes which we cannot handle i hope you're all growing out there also i just want to put out this coffee
anybody knows where i can get some mushrooms i'm interested in curing my anxiety with mushrooms
hit me up dm me you think that'll do it i I don't know. Worth a shot. Couldn't get worse. That can
chill you out. I've taken
quite a bit of mushrooms.
I've taken mushrooms. They've always made me fork, and I've
never had a bad trip on mushrooms, but
I just don't know where to get them anymore. I've had bad
ones. I've had good ones and bad ones.
You can't do the ones that you
can't. It's like
it's hard to get too high.
I mean, I have been too high on weed.
But if I only hit it once, I'm not high enough, and I'm paranoid.
It's like a bad limbo.
Talking about weed?
Yeah, weed.
You have to hit the right balance.
But with mushrooms, you can definitely do too much.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm never scared I'm going to smoke too much weed. Although, I mean, it has happened. It happened to me too much. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm never scared I'm going to smoke too much weed.
Although, I mean,
it has happened.
It happened to me
last night.
Well.
On a Tuesday night.
Shit.
Yeah, I'm just,
I'm interested in.
But if you smoke
too much weed,
you just go to sleep.
True.
I don't know.
I've ended up
in the bathroom
with heart palpitations
sitting on the
toilet begging for the sweet release that's that's you that's not the way if you let me if you pull
me through this i will believe in you again chris paul hayes safely oh god that's that would be the
definition of bad trip you're just tripping and it it's just Paul Hayes. You call Paul Hayes.
You call Paul Hayes.
God damn it.
Go subscribe to the Patreon, people.
Yeah, and don't get too high.
And if you do, don't...
Just listen to Trillbillies.
Yeah.
It'll bring you right on down.
It'll bring you right back down.
If you do, don't pray to God, because he's not there.
Yeah, that's the worst.
He's not listening.
There's no one there.
You're all alone.
God's locked up in a concentration camp
at the border right now,
so she's busy.
You're following Mikhail Bakunin's maxim of
if God existed, we would need to abolish him.
That was Voltaire.
Or no.
That was Bakunin.
Oh, that was Bakunin.
Yeah, Bakunin spun it on its head.
On its head, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you like to turn things on their head, Tom?
That's what we do here, baby.
69. Yeah, that's right.
I don't like to do 69.
I'm retracting my statement. 69's ridiculous.
See you in hell, listeners.
Alright, see you later.