Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 134: The Devil's Milkshake
Episode Date: February 20, 2020What do you call it when an elected official has to take a drink of poison to make democracy look good? Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty...
Transcript
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okay it's your life every friday night there's a cloud of dust he he named that song tanya
leads back to yeah phil would pick up pick up trucks it's tim mcgraw's
um it's just country boys and girls getting down on the phone.
See, we could, our intros could be our own music. You could have a lot of fun in a New York minute.
There's some things you can do in South Old City.
Okay, that's a good sound check.
Um, Tom, here on your table is exactly 21 beans.
Is that what that is?
Beans, Maybe raisins.
And one pill capsule.
It's a fiber pill.
One and a fiber pill. Did you bury this fiber
pill in these beans? I think this is
actually Terrence's. It's gotta be my
fiber pill. How long has this been sitting here?
Didn't you just get
the tails? I've been on the road.
Like last week when I was here.
Wow. Well, when I was here. Wow.
Well, when I step into a place, I usually leave behind a various assortment of fiber pills.
I just love that you've got fiber pills buried in beans.
The most fibrous food you can eat.
Look, some of us need as much as we can get.
Some of us need as much fiber as we can get.
Louie's under the weather, and he's been having a shit like eight times a day,
and we're in this fucking apartment, so I have to take him on actual walks instead of just sending his ass out the door.
And I started calling him Terrence.
He starts whining to leave.
I'm like, come on, T- on t ray god damn i'm nervous about this
that on the table there t that's a that's a one-on-one i can't get that back this book the
book yeah i thought you were real hype on this japanese walnut fucking table i'd rather it get
stained than my book do you have a cup i'll just hold it silverware
i'll just hold it i don't have a single spoon in this house are you kidding that's why you're
eating out of the spatula that's why i have a spatula in that bowl i eat my cereal every
goddamn morning with the same thing i stir my bed my dog as a man who is ocd and terrified of botulism i really can't understand how this
is out here i look like i'm scared of botulism i went to new york city this weekend i'm scared
did you ride a subway i did ride the subway did you tell them there's some things you just can't do inside a city limit?
A city limit, yeah.
I said, y'all should come down where the country boys and girls get down on the farm.
Speaking of the farm, I read one of the craziest things I'd ever read in the Texas Observer.
One of the craziest things I'd ever read in the Texas Observer.
Pat, what made you read the Texas Observer this week?
I like to keep up with what's going on back in my land of my people. Is that a local newspaper?
Because it sounds like a tabloid.
No, Tanya.
They do investigative journalism.
Ah, okay.
It's still alive at the texas observer is it hard hitting it's pretty hard hitting that shoe leather shit in my opinion
uh this article is called something in the air in the texas panhandle which produces a fifth of
the u.s beef supply communities are being choked by fecal dust from nearby feedlots.
The state's regulatory agency isn't doing anything about it,
and it's about to get a whole lot worse.
So what happens is...
Sure this ain't Millstone, Kentucky.
Well, the thing is is that out there, you know, a lot of dust gets kicked up.
It's in the dust bowl.
And so you get these massive dust storms and they're filled with fecal dust.
And people just get covered in it from head to toe.
And so like they go inside, take a shower.
And, you know, the bathroom smells like shit.
We used to experience you ever been
covering shit growing up i think i have been like i remember trying to explain this to people when i
went to college the phenomenon of walking around in the entire town smelling like shit at all times
i mean that's august in weisberg really what what's why with sewer stations yeah when the when the river
just smells like hot fucking trash ass god damn i miss that though sitting on the back deck
fucking there's a shit smell waves in and everybody's just having a good time but like
man what the fuck is that
oh just the river well the the fascinating thing about this is that um
everybody just puts up with it i mean like what else you gonna do there's concerned citizens
groups but there's also um that have like tried to file lawsuits and get the regulatory agencies
to do something but then there's like the texas i think like ranchers
association basically the equivalent of our coal association groups they fight it then they fight
it and people just put up with it man they claim that it's good actually it's good it's actually
good for business for your whole town to smell like shit it's good for the economy yeah well
and i was thinking while i was reading it about that thing that i wrote maybe around this time last year in response to the krugman thing
about like the whole like why people vote against their own interests and it's like
there's no better illustration of that than this it's like people walking around in literal fecal
dust because it's the only only game in. It's the only game in town.
It's the only economic provider, really.
I was thinking about this.
I got stomach virus not too long ago.
The most demoralizing thing about the stomach virus is not just, you know,
spending three days tied to a toilet and feeling like fucking hell.
It's the fact that it happened to you because you ate a little bit of
somebody else's shit.
Is that the only way you get a stomach virus?
Yeah, fecal.
Oh my God, really?
Fecal, yeah,
the norovirus.
Is that true?
Don't ask me,
I don't know.
Tommy Tom would know.
Ask the interns.
I've not had,
I've not had a stomach virus
in a minute,
but it is truly
the worst thing
that can happen to you,
I think.
Yeah.
Unless you get caught
on a cruise ship
with corona well the this article paints a portrait of a future in which
as you know so like that area gets all of its water from the ogallala aquifer which covers
like eight states that's where we got water growing up.
And it's like rapidly depleting because of fracking
and like this, industrial feedlots.
Shocker.
And so it's going more and more in a drought
as the aquifer is unable to recharge, you know, over time.
Like that area like sees more and more dust storms and so it's like
this article concludes like well yeah in the future as climate change gets worse you're gonna
see these shit tornadoes with sharks and we're gonna have a dust bowl but instead it's a shit
bowl we're just gonna get mauled by shit tornado. Just the most demoralizing death you could imagine.
It's actually Tom's hail.
Yeah.
Nah, there's worse ways to go.
Not many worse ways, but there's worse ways.
Shit tornadoes.
It kind of does make me feel guilty for eating meat.
It really is fucked up.
You should feel guilty
about that i don't do them you don't eat meat anymore well we're vegan boys yeah how long have
you all been i really have taken the veg i i honestly don't remember the last time i had red
meat i will eat chicken every now and then but it really is it really is what like the next
generation is gonna be like you fucking boomer bastards.
How did you eat all this meat?
They're just going to think we were just sitting there drinking champagne, eating whole chickens.
Sick freaks.
Just covered in jewelry.
Bringing out steaks into our mouths.
I don't, like, there's surely there's not that much demand for meat.
Most of that meat has to go wasted, like, surely.
I don't know.
I feel that way about spinach.
I buy spinach every week, and it just goes bad every week.
When's the last time you got the whole sack of spinach?
I get the big ones.
I get two sacks a week and finish them all.
You also have so much iron in your blood, the doctor worries about you.
Yeah, that's all he has
no i just cooked a bunch of nasty yellow spinach and ate it just because i couldn't stay in the
thought of running anymore just to punish myself yeah i don't think i've ever finished a sack of
spinach that's good you need to have a little more discipline tanya yeah when i go to the
grocery store i'm very ambitious i'm like yeah, I'm going to cook all this stuff.
That don't do me no damn good.
I've started eating Cheerios again.
How's that doing?
How's that doing?
I've rediscovered fortified foods because I've learned recently that I had a calcium deficiency that led to heart palpitations.
Well.
Is that what it's been happening?
So I've had to supplement with fortified almond milk.
Now, is this a self-diagnosis?
No.
No.
Good.
Yeah.
What's fortified mean?
Well, you know, it's just has it added.
Like, you know, calcium's added to orange juice and stuff like that.
To almond milk.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
But if you're eating all your sacks of spinach like Terrence does,
you're probably not
calcium deficient.
If you eat like a 12-year-old
like I do,
then you might be
calcium deficient.
So Cheerios is how
you're trying to up
your diet.
Well, as a child,
I was a portly boy
and I used to just
drink milk all the time.
That just shored up
that deficiency.
But I've not drank milk in 10 years.
Yeah, I don't drink cow milk.
And I've not been supplementing, so I was like, huh, interesting.
This is country booze.
Is that how we ended up with the spatula situation?
Getting down on the floor.
Among other things, yes.
I still don't know what that goo is.
Tell me that's not coming in that bowl, Tom.
That's not cum in that bowl.
That's not cum in that bowl.
Thank God.
Dog.
This is so fucked up.
A Hereford resident who has to remain anonymous says that fecal dust would collect on the roof of his former home.
After infrequent rains, the dust washed into his gutters and rehydrated into a gloop of manure breeding maggots.
Oh my God.
Fed up with the situation, he mailed a letter to the mid-2000s,
in the mid-2000s to then Agricultural Commissioner Susan Combs.
The state has done absolutely nothing about it.
That was his first mistake, thinking Susan fucking Combs
was going to do something about it.
Ain't no Combs ever done a goddamn thing in office.
Them fucking Combses.
Fuck them everyone.
Oh, yeah. Well, it's a crazy story just because of how much it mirrors the coal stuff just just i mean just like
the power of these the industry lobbying groups mixed with the inaction of the regulatory agencies
mixed with the i mean i guess you could call it complacency of people,
but, I mean, it's not even really that.
It's just that, like...
It's like you said, it's the only game in town.
Here's the sobering thing about this country.
And just to put a fine point
on what a piece of shit this country is.
Every place is a fucking brownfield.
It's a fucking toxic...
Everything's a brownfield.
Like, seriously. No, truly like seriously no all of us are
swimming in this sort of not only the primordial ooze but also just what the industrial revolution
has wrought on us and guess what it's all gonna make our prostates grow to the size of a bocce
you won't be able to fucking pee without taking some goddamn flow max
yeah i'm worried about my prostate
should be do women do women have a prostate no no no sure about that
i mean it ain't on the map i use when i teach sex ed fuck good enough i'm not a fucking doctor
good enough yeah everybody's different that's my love that's my
go-to hey actually yes some women do have a prostate am i to say so yeah exactly so uh
it is fucking insane though if you think particularly i think about c4 from time to
time with the joe manchin thing i think it's c8 c4 c8 yes c4 is the chris rock is the Chris Rock movie.
How is that?
No.
What is that?
C4 is an explosive.
I know, but isn't there a Chris Rock movie?
Oh, there is.
In the early 90s, it was a rap group sort of parody movie.
What the fuck was it?
I don't know.
You know what I'm talking about.
I know exactly what you're talking about
used to come on vh1 yeah c8 anyway is a dupont concocted chemical that is in 98 of this country's
tissues so if you're out there listening like you only have it you only have a no no no no
like human like human tissues i was like what so if you're out there nose tissue
so well i mean that is that's how i said it though oh man so if you're out there listening
there's only a two percent chance you don't have a highly cancerous dupont concocted chemical
floating around your system right now is that how that works i does that mean there's
only two percent chance there's a 90 if there's 98 of the population has it that's a 98 chance
you have it i'm not sure how probability works for the record tom you're asking the wrong guy
i don't either okay i'm terrible at numbers yeah
next topic no math majors here.
Well, I.
This article you read, a similar one came out just this week about the floodwaters in East Kentucky and how it is a health care nightmare.
Say more.
Or a community health nightmare because floodwaters are nothing but fecal matter.
Like floodwaters are sick. fecal matter like floodwaters are
sick they're so disgusting you're not supposed to touch come your body should not come into
contact with floodwaters ever at all because they're mostly sewage you know what i mean
they're just like completely filled with sewage it's so bad especially in eastern kentucky where
a lot of people are either straight popping or using um tanks septic tanks yeah septic tanks and so what what ends up
being in flood waters is just truly vile and now all these waters have soaked into soil like every
bottom land in eastern kentucky most of which it's just like yeah maybe don't buy the maple syrup at the farmer's market this summer.
It's cosmically cruel when you think about it.
Yeah.
I was reading this thing.
I want to try to come up with a term for this.
But I was reading this story about Fukushima, about it's in the New Yorker, about nuclear power and about how like, you know, they've been rebuilding the sort of area around
fukushima for the last 10 years when did that happen 2011 i think um and they recently reopened
a town near there called okuna is that the nuclear plant yeah yeah is this a new town
that's an old town i think they reopened it okay um removed all the topsoil of radioactive material and shit like that.
But Shinzo Abe, the Japanese prime minister, went out and did a ceremony to reopen it.
And the people there gave him some food that they grew in the area.
And they made him eat it.
You know, like basically like, you know.
The way we show up. kind of like obama went
when he went to exactly and drank the water so i want i want to know if is there a term there has
to be a term for that like because like there's obama there's famous ones like obama drinking the
flint water shinzo abe eating irradiated onions um john hickenlooper drinking fracking fluid the guy that guy in martin county that one time we
went to i'll fuck it i'll drink it go pour me a water go pour me a glass right now yeah so like
there has to be a name for i mean the the placeholder i was had in my phone is like
devil's milkshake or something like where an elected official has to drink literal
poison i think that's a sex to inspire confidence milkshake is actually a sexual position
yeah you're right but yes to inspire confidence i mean it is kind of funny that like
five or six hundred years ago kings and queens had like taste testers, like poison testers
who would like test food.
And now we live in this weird, hyper normalized world where like we have to pretend to get
elected.
Yes.
We have to pretend there's democracy and they have to literally put poison in their bodies.
Like, could you imagine what's going through their trust?
Right.
Like what's going through their minds before that?
They're like, oh, fuck.
Well, maybe we can use this devil's milkshake to get rid of bloomberg what's my vote who's gonna be the first elected official that's really gonna eat shit to inspire confidence
to inspire consumer confidence
i um i hope it's him i hope it's him but you know it's him. But you know, like, Obama, before that, had to have been, like, asking his advisors, like,
are you sure this is safe?
They actually implanted something in his stomach before it happened, and then he just went
and had it taken out.
He had, like, a catheter.
They put a false stomach.
Yeah.
He didn't drink that water.
No.
Fools.
Yeah, you're right.
He said, I'm sure, you know uh when i was growing up i
ate the lead paint the chips off the wall i just chipped it off the wall and ate it he did didn't
he say that's such a weird thing to say but also just such a callous thing to say like there's
literally a generation of children wiped out in that area of michigan and like their parents and
aunts and grandparents are there like
wanting answers and you know the guy that's fashioned himself the leader of the free world
is just like acting like oh everything's fine nothing to worry about here it's like
and they know better there was a story that came out of i think a week or two ago about how
special education numbers statistics have gone up like 27 percent or something like that
since flint like the generation of kids that in that area were impacted at that age have
had such poor cognitive impairment that they've had to it's just a generation wiped out yeah and
obama just like made fun of them for it, pretty much. I ate the pint right off the walls. Totally safe.
Totally fun.
Jesus Christ.
Well, if you have any better terms, maybe devil's milkshake.
I know it's not great.
That does sound like one of those sex move jokes from the Chuck Norris joke era.
Yeah.
Remember that?
When our bar was so low, we just used to tell Chuck Norris jokes all the time.
Well, we were getting on our feet in terms of memeing yeah you know like that was the first two in particular
no just as a society as a generation like there's a yeah yeah yeah but i mean but some people have
never aged out of the chuck norris memes um i'm clinging clinging to the kermit meme myself like bloomberg's people his social media
people for example yeah yeah like did you see the thing today where it's like impeached president
says what no way it was like so fucking dumb humor is just not your thing just your best bet is keep
doing what you're doing try to buy this thing i'm so bewildered by all this because i just got my like you know new york times evening briefing or whatever
bullshit i've got coming into my inbox and it literally says the billionaire versus the
anti-billionaire how the fuck did it did we get a headline like this it's like i blinked and suddenly my bloomberg is actually who's the anti-billionaire
bernie yeah no clover shark no i just thought you know like hero and anti-hero i thought maybe
they were saying like bloomberg is like the ant like the maverick billionaire you know what i
mean yeah i know what you mean against trump against trump yeah like i thought they were
trying to will that shit into being right god the funny thing is i don't think trump's an actual billionaire and i don't think that he would actually ever miss this because
he's way too embarrassed yeah like he's a failed he does not want us to know that he should be he
should be a billionaire he's a goddamn idiot trump is the first person that's too big to fail man
well the funny thing about um bloomberg is that um obviously he's
not running against trump i mean this isn't a original observation but there's no universe in
which bloomberg beats trump there's no universe in which the guy who killed sodas and killed coal, killed big hopes and killed coal, would ever beat Trump.
People here hate him.
I mean, like, literally.
Like, everybody knows.
When you're talking about war on coal, like, who shut down the coal plants?
There's two names.
It's Obama and Bloomberg.
Those are the two.
Yeah.
That shit is not going to play
well in the Midwest, especially killing Pop.
Killing Pop?
What do you do to Pop?
You ban big ups.
You can only have up to 60.
Seriously, dump this motherfucker
in a bad ass.
Seriously.
Yeah, like put him in an
acne cartoon.
Truly.
And he's leveling these bizarro threats to the democratic party like if you don't get rid of all these other candidates
you're gonna end up with bernie like that's the only leg he's got to stand on it's got to be me
and bernie or you're gonna lose or it's gonna be bernie it's just like everyone's just running
against bernie now what's so funny is we went from a bernie like blackout whiteout whatever you want
to call it to like full-blown and tag like this piece of came out atlantic today saying bernie
was planning to try to primary obama i saw that i saw that and the strongest case they could make
was the reason he was doing that is because of sanders objection to obama uh slashing social
security what it's like like that's actually good that's a good thing that's a good thing for him
yeah they were like look good they said he went there and he scolded the president they acted
like he was just this old skull which is also an anti-semitic trope too let's be clear about that
but two it's like yeah he probably made his ass reamed about something like that he's a fucking senator he can't go like what the fuck yeah so goddamn fucking wow wow wow yeah um well
um today i mean no i mean i saw a thing today where Bloomberg ran an ad that was favorable to Biden that was working under the assumption that Biden dropped out and endorsed Bloomberg.
Did you see this?
What?
Yeah, that's actually a genius.
Yeah, he was like, Biden has been a strong—
Run the ad and then just call Biden and be like, what's your move, man?
What's your move?
Try to put Joe to a decision at joe to his credit ship going down no chance
he'll ever be president says i don't endorse republicans except that last year he literally
campaigned in michigan for a republican well he doesn't remember that man yeah it was january 19
man it was forever ago it was a lifetime ago this is a new Biden clone. We're not dealing with the same Biden.
Now,
there is no universe in which
Bloomberg wins
the presidency.
In what universe is it possible that he
could win the Democratic nomination?
Is that possible?
That is much more tenable.
These bastards.
He's polling second in South Carolina now now like he's a because he could spend he literally could spend 40 billion dollars and
still be far and away and insanely rich if i'm if i'm bernie or anybody it's like the ads that i
would be running against bloomberg would be to remind everybody that this man single-handedly shut down at least 400 coal plants
yeah and i and i'm not just saying that like because i don't want to be having people
misinterpret that that's good i think it's not good for the workers but it's probably good for
the environment but but at the same time it's not because the only reason he did it is because he's
heavily invested in oil and gas right yeah it's not it's not about a combat
climate change it's about you know making his where his where he's put his money strong right
and this is a thing about bloomberg i'm not sure a lot of people know i really don't know if people
are aware of this that he really had a massive hand in in the increase of price of natural gas
in the last 10 years yeah and that like he yeah he put his hand
in in the energy market and now we who paid for that gas to heat our homes are running his
presidential campaign well it's interesting about this you've seen this like thing where
brianna joy gray was taking some shit because like she accidentally said that he was facing
62 counts of sexual assault she meant sexual harassment the one like real life anecdote that i know about michael
bloomberg by virtue of where i work came from one of my colleagues who said that she had met him
and that the first thing out of his mouth was the worst dirty joke that she had ever heard
like not not worse as in like like dirtiest but just like not funny. Everybody likes to get dirty.
There's stories. There's all kinds of stories
about him. He's like this weird sex creep.
It's a little 5'4 fucking
freak.
Mini Mike.
Mini Mike.
This motherfucker.
I just feel so
confused. I didn't know
that you could spend all your own money.
There's limits to what I can give to a campaign.
How can you just, how does this happen?
I think Trump basically funded his whole campaign in 2016.
Well, asterisk besides that.
Got it dipped into his foundation.
Well, you know what I mean.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess they just figure out what, like, rich people know every way in the world to hide
their wealth and spend it however they want to tax-free.
Right, right, right.
Well, they can afford the best lawyers who tell them how to do that.
Yeah.
No, I don't know if there's any rules against it or not, but.
So bizarre.
I guess if you're coming out of pockets, can spend I don't know maybe you can't
But you can spend
Well I'm back to feeling kind of sanguine about it again
It's like
Let's say he gets the nomination
Let's say he manages to buy the nomination
Like
If that's the case
Then the Democratic Party is truly
Done
I mean because you will have completely
Excommunicated an entire generation
of voters i guess it would probably just prove to us what we already fucking know right and that
we're in a little bit of denial of that maybe it's so funny because truly truly in the best way
eyeballs are gonna pop out of my fucking head what all these liberal pundits are terrified of
that bernie has a gun to the party
is absolutely
100% true.
But what they don't
understand is that
if they have
their drathers
and they, you know,
go with Bloomberg
or somebody,
they also,
you know,
it's kind of like
nuclear proliferation.
It's like they also
assure their mutual
destruction at the same time.
You know what I mean?
So it's like.
And all they have to do
is get behind
one motherfucker.
It doesn't make any sense.
Well, it just tells you
how far right they've gone.
Yeah, exactly.
That's exactly right.
This whole thing
has just been an exercise
in demonstrating
how far right
the Democratic Party has gone.
Yeah.
I mean, well,
in all our institutions, really.
Here's what I think.
You know,
you remember when
Obama was running
and everybody was
talking about the bradley effect he might become a victim of the bradley effect this guy that ran
for like ran for something in the bay area i think in oakland somewhere maybe in the 70s or 80s and
he was this black guy and he like a lot like he was polling really well and all this kind of stuff
but on election day he lost because a lot of people thought that like crypto racism kind of
crept in and like everybody was like you know know, ballyhooing him, you know, before the election.
But then they went in and voted against him.
Like, I think there could be a similar thing with Bernie, where even if he gets the nomination, people would like vote for Trump because that's a much preferable situation for their bottom line.
And I mean, I'm talking in terms of like Democrats.
I think that what I'm talking about is like the party democrat i'm not talking about just like the rank and file i mean like
well i think if bernie clears the primary then i don't know i guess i go back and forth in this
depends on which day of the week you ask me is it is navada tomorrow thursday tomorrow we're
recording this on oh yeah because right after we record this is
the debate right which bloomberg is how does how did he even get his ass onto the fucking debate
stage i just don't understand he bought it yeah he literally purchased like tom steyer did
which for a while i thought tom steyer was for for like maybe two weeks at some point back a couple months ago.
We are now in the era of recreational presidential runs, like hobby runs.
Steyer, Yang, Bloomberg.
Who else am I missing?
Well, even Pete said that it's, what did he say?
It's low.
Low stakes.
Yeah.
Low, no, there was a specific word he used that pissed me off.
Low risk.
Low risk.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, it doesn't behoove you to lose your elections if you're running for, like, Congress or Senate or something down ballot.
But, like, if you run for president
you only stand to increase in your national prominence speaking of low risk i don't mean
to totally change the subject here maybe i shouldn't uh what do you got tanya well i want
to talk about cunnilingus carries It carries a low risk of disease transmission.
We should eat more pussy.
Yeah.
I passed a sign yesterday in Lexington that said,
consider how you give.
Panhandling is not safe.
What?
And I get infuriated.
Because it took me a minute to understand what it even meant.
I read it, and then we kept driving kept driving I was like did you see that sign
and it took me a while to process it and I thought not safe these motherfuckers should
not feel safe homeless people should be safe should be saved you know what I mean like people
who need to panhandle should be saved and these people who think that panhandling isn't safe should be unsafe.
I think we should.
People who are hoarding wealth should be so fucking unsafe.
I think we should make sausage out of everybody that owns a horse in this town.
I really do.
Turn them into glue.
Please.
Yeah, we should send them to the glue factory with their horses.
Straight to the glue factory.
Hoarding wealth in this country should not be safe.
If panhandling is not safe.
The only thing I want to say about panhandling is one of the time-honored professions, honestly.
Dear God, yes.
Begging is just time.
I mean, it's just that the, you know, it's in the Bible.
The poor man begging alms.
Well, I do, look, we've entered the realm now where conservative politics now
transcends it's like it's fused with um you know religion and christianity in this country
and now it transcends all of the precepts and everything we learned in school like did you see
that that sign there was something going around on twitter granted somebody's probably going to point this out to me that this is fake, too.
But it looked pretty legit.
It was a sign in somebody's front yard that was basically like, God will bow down to Trump.
And, like, there was all these other Trump signs around it and stuff.
But, like, God will bow down to Trump.
You know what I mean?
God will bow down to Trump.
Like, not only is it pointless to point out
their hypocrisies now it's like it's not even hypocrisy anymore it's just like that's part of
being a christian that's part of being a is blasphemy just going to get like canonized like
what we should do now you know well as long as like it's not blasphemy against the god figure
trump you know you don't.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Like, that is, like, the textbook case of blasphemy is saying God will bow down to Trump.
You know what I mean? It's like, is that just, like, going to be, like, accepted, you know?
I guess.
Well, I'm glad you bring this up because today I watched a Chris Crocker video.
I'm not sorry about it.
And he said he was promoting his fans only, I think, or only fans, whatever it's called.
But he said, some call it blasphemy, but it's just cash for me.
It's the greatest wordplay I've heard in years, honestly.
It's so good.
Chris Crocker.
Do you not know who Chris Crocker is?
I'm throwing you off the porch.
Who's Chris Crocker?
Tom doesn't know. Hey, Tom doesn't know tom who's chris crocker we need more gay people
on this podcast honestly chris crocker god bows down to president donald j trump declares he is
perfect he is chris crocker okay chris crocker is a cultural icon that you may know him by his crying video for Britney Spears.
Oh, yeah.
I do know Chris Crocker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's from Tennessee.
He's an angel.
He's an icon.
Yeah, I know who he is.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you probably can go meet him at Newby's in Johnson City, like, tonight.
Anytime. Okay. Yeah, he lives in East Tennessee. He's wonderful. Okay. probably can go meet him at newbies in johnson city like tonight anytime okay he's he's yeah he
lives in east tennessee he's wonderful yeah okay highly recommend him hi arrow um the devil's a
milkshake that's so bad how about like i don't know the something slurpy that the hellish slurpy
wait a second we name it i thought we were naming this for shitstorms pascal's
sherbert no it ain't shitstorms it's the stuff that people drink to prove
they're oh yeah yeah real authentic people the real authentic people give me a fracking fluid
i'll drink it but pour it right now you've got real authentic people here give me a fracking fluid. I'll drink it. Pour it right now. You've got real authentic
people here. Give me a fracking
fluid.
Give me a crumb of fracking fluids.
Break me off
of people's vats. Give me a fecal dust.
I'll snort it.
I'll snort it.
Shit.
Let's see what else. What happened this week?
Jeff Bezos pledged
$10 billion for climate change.
To speed it up?
Yeah.
He's going to get
really throwing into it.
Let's get this motherfucker going.
We're cooking with grease now.
In other news, Tanya gave $13 in Planned Parenthood.
About the same
percentage of our assets
Jesus Christ um yeah Jeff Bezos gives 10 billion dollars uh let's see I got a few other things here
um I got a East Kentucky wealth hoarder story do you while we're on it go for it i got
enraged this week i gotta start checking my blood pressure at the house i think
i'm just getting so can we start having blood pressure parties where we all just sit around
i check mine three times i'm good that's the one thing with me that's not bad me too well i just
had blood work done and everything was good except my cholesterol is a little high.
Just a little bit.
And my B12 was low.
But I got a B12 shot.
So that should be fine.
How do I bring down my cholesterol, Tom?
Don't eat meat.
Okay.
That's it.
That's all I need to do.
Get off this red meat shit.
She told me I need to eat whole grains.
I was like, that can't be right.
That's what my doctor told me that's that's actually that seems wrong
she's like just eat whole grains some flaxseed okay now we're getting into my
now we're talking some flaxseed they're so bad after you get it's like you get into your late
20s and you just spend a lot of time talking to your friends about your progressively ailing body.
Yeah.
I do need to pull the trigger.
I mean, I did stop eating red meat for a little while in Weinsberg.
It's just hell.
It's just so much prep.
But I just got to start driving somewhere else and buy my groceries.
I'm so fucked over by the grocery situation I'm in.
Just so fucked up about it.
Anyway, fuck all that.
Some wealth hoarders,
which is all I'm ever going to refer to them now.
So this past weekend was Valentine's Day.
Super Bowl of the love game.
Yeah.
And, you know, we have so little infrastructure
for young people to organize themselves
and to try to change where they live all over the place.
And certainly the same in East Kentucky.
And one of the few groups that's all, like, led by young people in their 20s.
They don't have any, like, fucking powerful board members and bullshit.
It's just all young people.
They threw this great big love fest. This beautiful, like, love fest. They just had music and bullshit. It's just all young people. They threw this great big love fest,
this beautiful like love fest.
They just had music and art and the,
and they had a great time.
It was this awesome event.
Everything went swimmingly.
Bacchanalia.
There was like,
everybody's just sucking and fucking there.
Yeah.
It was a big orgy.
And one of the parents brought a bunch of chalk and they were all like chalking
out on the sidewalk out front of this business oh these are children i'm sorry
yeah retraction retraction some of these are teenagers why didn't you tell me that
some of these are actually teenagers yeah and so there's all this crazy cool graffiti just like a
bunch of really detailed art on the sidewalk now with chalk temporary art on the chalk but
apparently there's one naked woman so there's some fucking titties on the sidewalk and like way down
someone drew with chalk fuck the government one titties i love it i love that was like it's valentine's day everybody's drawing this
you know either just like hearts and like erotica and then just one ambitious kid had his eyes on
the prize you know what i mean but truly fuck the government is is a harlan tradition like workers
in harlan county have been saying fuck the government for a hundred
fucking years this is his birthright or hers whoever the fuck wrote it who cares fuck the
government for sure absolutely in chalk in spray paint in fucking bulletins and every newspaper
fuck them you know it's just ridiculous it's of course a weird thing to get bent out of shape
about being out of shape is one thing the people who own this stupid fucking coffee shop
these like these actual downtown revitalization motherfuckers who ain't even from harlem county
they are legit absentee landowners showed up the next day and because of the chalk
called the motherfucking cops they called the cops if you're a cop how do you respond to that like well it's chalk can't
you just wash it off ma'am yes it rains every day we live in a rainforest you stupid bitch
it rains every fucking day we haven't seen the sun since november the question question is are
chalk titties a felony or misdemeanor in harley county everything's a felony they have a it's like the
most corrupt police force in the state and they called them in on children with chalk
that's incredible and and like emailed and called the fucking people and threatened to press charges
if someone didn't get down there and scrub it off immediately pretend acted like it was a huge
scandal in the downtown that everyone was so upset and it would probably end up in shutting
down their coffee shop if you think since when do small business owners like the government
one two what makes you what is your fucking coffee shop right ween don't you have a tea party
you know conference to get to yeah
seems like it's pretty on brand for the for the business i mean i know gentrification's happening
everywhere and this is just like typical at this point but these are the same fucking people who
are paying new yorkers to put murals on buildings but when but when kids who are from there draw on the sidewalk a temporary fucking
mural of titties that's a good point they freak the fuck out and call the fucking cops that's a
good point like the whole downtown revitalization thing is driven by this idea of like art places
is one example like they get they get out of town artists to come and paint elaborate murals
and then pay them a lot of money to do it and then they call it sometimes chalk titties
they call it creative placemaking yeah but now in this case it's creative placemaking as long
as somebody's getting paid a hundred thousand fucking dollars to do it but as soon as kids
are doing it as a act of fucking survival and joy and trying to actually
enjoy uh a fucked up holiday about how they're probably not loved enough or doesn't love anyone
yeah that these are kids who have just been like pushed extremely to the margins the systems do
not work for these people the system has worked for these absentee landowner bitches from berea
and harvard who have bought this fucking empty building for
30 probably right right right yeah no um i know exactly the person that you're referring to oh
yeah i can't wait to run into these motherfuckers because they pretend like they don't know me
anyway well they're gonna remember me now they're gonna learn today now they're gonna remember well
they also pretend like they are i don't want to use the word radical but at least
progressive they also pretend absolutely because all these people are the same most of them are
center left yeah and a literal red carpet has been rolled out for them anything they want they have
even like fucking maneuvered their way onto the harland county like tourism committee they don't
even fucking live there that's incredible how does
this happen that's an amazing feat well fuck the government um that's probably the healthiest idea
you can have as a young kid truly that means that you actually have a pretty good read on things
and they were afraid that's going to offend the arc and their honey yeah scared to death right
right it's a harlem county tradition to say, fuck the fucking government.
It's their birthright.
No, like, yeah, no, you're absolutely right.
A kid who understands that is a hundred times smarter and has a better grasp of reality
than the 40-year-old small old small business owner also these people went to
harvard they like moved here as saviors they already have a savior complex you know what i
mean it's just like they're so fucking rigid and bananas right i i'm i i mean i know these people
suck but this was taking it to a whole nother level to call cops and make young people so unsafe, so unbelievably unsafe.
Here's the thing is the trees known by the fruited bears, et cetera, et cetera.
And you could think yourself a progressive or a reformer or whatever you want.
But the proof's in the pudding.
You know, if you're doing this kind of shit in these kind of places, particularly the most impoverished places in the country you shouldn't
even have a remote claim to this and it was just that thing like with the silas house thing with
like the corbin like restaurant thing right you know what i mean it's like no you can't you know
the the you can't put lipstick on a pig i shouldn't say that pigs are wonderful creatures you can't
polish you can't polish a turd and then the natural progression of that shit is what you
see with like stacy abrams or pete budge and saying no we could take bloomberg money or whoever's money
because it's that's it it's in the name of inclusivity it's like trying to make woke
take in like special interest or big money and all this kind of stuff it just it honestly removes
the ability to even actually celebrate good things. Sure, a coffee shop in Harlan is great and fun.
I love the Wrigley Tap Room.
But to suck every ounce of, like, actual...
Just call it what it is.
But, look, the problem is that these people think that what they're doing is inherently political.
There's nothing political about the Wrigley Tap Room.
No.
There's nothing political about a coffee shop.
It's a business.
It's a business.
And that's just what it is. I'll tell you what is political. Calling the fucking cops on kids for drawing shop. Exactly. That's fucking political about a coffee shop it's a business it's a business and that's just
what it is calling the fucking cops on kids for drawing shop that's fucking political exactly
exactly and they even tried to go so far as to threaten that this could like get this group
shut down who they need to be shut down and if their coffee shop does this could cause the end
of our business good bitch get the fuck out of town. Pack your shit and go the fuck home. If chalk titties are going to put you out of business.
The coffee's not that great.
No, the coffee's not that fucking good.
Pack it up.
Well, I mean, I shouldn't say that there's nothing inherently political about a small business because everything is political.
But in their minds, they see it as...
It's a radical act.
Yes, they see it as a progressive step forward.
Yeah, right.
Right.
I hate to break this to you.
You go to all the famous James Beard award winning restaurants, particularly these Nouveau ones in the South.
And guess what?
Everybody in there is washing dishes for fucking $2 an hour waiting tables or something like that.
It's easily the most exploitive industry in the world.
Just keep it a buck.
Say that.
Well, it's all wrapped up in this just transition stuff.
Look, the fucking Washington Post article I was just talking about earlier,
the whole premise, it's fucking hilarious.
You should read it.
Drag this son of a bitch.
I beg of us.
Well, the whole premise is based around Patrick Angel.
You know who that is?
Oh, the fucking Ipshigah.
Yeah, he used to work for
department of forestry no he used to work for the office of surface mining and reclamation
osmre yes and i guess i just thought for he said he was the first employee trees his like
employee number was one badge number two he was the second he points his out well the funny thing
is is that the story is like talks about how all throughout the 90s after they passed smackra all throughout the 80s and 90s he was
instrumental in basically overseeing the development of mountaintop removal the transition from small
scale wildcatting strip mining to large scale dynamited you know drag lines mountaintop removal and patrick angel
oversaw this and then so it you know the the story you know i've seen this story written
18 000 times since i've moved to whitesburg but the story is like he had this like saw on the road
to damascus moment where he like saw like his uh his his bad ways and how he felt guilty about like
facilitating mountaintop removal so he
started this program they let him start a little tree program they start they let him start a tree
planning program um and it's actually funny if you've ever read that michael or not michael
shaben what's that guy's name he wrote freedom and the corrections jonathan franzen jonathan
franzen jonathan that that book Freedom features his program,
the Appalachian Regional Reforestation Initiative,
ARRI, A-R-R-I.
So they had some big press in the early 2000s.
Remember, because Van Jones said they were going to create
these green jobs and all this.
And green jobs never materialized.
Remember, there was one point when Van Jones was going to
throw a music festival on a strip mine you remember that there have been so many remember
salis wilder thought he could bring jay-z to harlem county yeah there have been so many promises to us
well like but the so the thing is it's i genuinely like wonder like i would really like to aggregate
all these stories because it's so funny you read these stories in the washington you know you read the story like i've seen this exact story written
no less than at least two or three dozen times yeah and it's the same thing every time because
in these stories it's always from the perspective that um mountaintop removal is bad but we're doing something to fix it and i get to say as someone
who has planted probably over a thousand trees myself because i used to do this as part of this
very same literal program i have planted trees with patrick angel myself not a thousand maybe
five i don't know how many plant in a day it's um it's never gonna work i mean like for
one it gives a free pass to the coal companies to basically say look we can blow up everything
we want because we'll have fucking people just plant trees afterwards it's not gonna matter but
for two like two it's not gonna solve all the problems earlier we were talking about flooding
you know all these landslides like shit like that like all that stuff is uh you know it's
so fucked up i mean this you know the the region is just gonna keep experiencing all the symptoms
of this um you know death by a thousand cuts you know yeah kind of shit yeah yeah we are uh we're
living in the zone now it's it's the problem i hate to bring it back it's not the zone now. It's the promise zone. I hate to bring it back to this.
It's not the zone.
It's the promise zone.
Promise zone.
But anyways, you know, it's just really funny to me to be on the other side of the story,
like seeing the exact same story being written over and over and over again.
I mean, it's the same thing.
Yeah, it's the same with the like voting
Against your own interest story and those are about
To come back with a vengeance I'm sure
And now we're back in election season
Right right well that's what
I wonder what they're going to say if
Like Bernie carries Kentucky in the primary
And West Virginia in the primary they're going to say we were voting
Against our own interest by voting for Bernie Sanders
Yeah they're going to say we thought
Socialism was about social media
That's right for Bernie Sanders. Yeah. They're going to say we thought socialism was about social media.
That's right.
Well, there's... We still got some time left.
So, like,
there is something
in the Washington Post
speaking of today
that was going...
making the rounds.
And, I mean,
someone will probably cover it
at some other big podcast,
but I figure we might as well.
Fuck it.
Let's take a stab at it.
It was going around with the headline,
and if you want to file this under a Trill Billy segment,
put it under deeply diseased because this is the headline.
It's time to give the elites a bigger say in choosing the president.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Full disclosure, full disclosure full disclosure i saw sarah
jones post this date without even reading it i just made like some sort of you know
content aggregation tweet you know clocking in standard stuff is this is there a hint of
irony in this uh no gotta be have to be no because look this is they changed the headline
after people flipped out about it i think they changed the headline after people flipped out about it, I think. They changed the headline to, it's time to switch to preference primaries.
Like, just the boring headline.
You know what I mean?
Like, what the fuck is a preference primary?
It's innocuous.
Yeah, that's what it is.
I didn't read all of it either, Tom, so it could be ironic.
But it's written by Julia Azari, associate professor and assistant chair in the Department of Political Science at Marquette.
It's a third op-ed in a series about how to improve the presidential nominating process.
A series?
Jesus, fuck.
Here's an idea.
Put it on our fucking computers where you can log in, vote, and that'd be it.
For a month.
And we just let it go until everybody's voted.
I've really been thinking about this. Like, they have to maintain the traditional ballot box because it's the pageantry in the theater of fucking democracy.
Well, now that they've...
So CNN will have shit to, like, run during the caucuses and shit.
Now that they've brought this app bullshit in, I mean, it went bananas on them.
But I was like, these bastards are really going to use an app and still tell us that we can't vote via app?
And they're going to use... They're going to actually use an app to count our stupid fucking votes.
Or not count them.
I'm going to woke the piss out of them real quick.
I think voting is ableist.
It really is.
It probably is.
You actually have to get up and go.
And I know what the retort to that would be.
It's like, well, there's absentee ballots and all that stuff.
But you have to go to the courthouse and get one and all and i know what the retort to that would be is like well there's absentee ballots and all that stuff but that's what you have to go or go to the courthouse and get and get one
and all that stuff yeah totally yeah it's just the surreal nature of living in a world where
we have the technological capability of they don't want us voting but they don't want us
they don't give a fuck especially not not this dumb fucking Russia shit now.
They're so old.
They'll really hack our elections then.
Like, girl, what?
Well, this is truly why I would just, honestly,
I would just, and I felt this way after Iowa,
I would just rather have a monarchy.
Either give us monarchy or socialism.
But enough with this bullshit pretense all the time.
I would take God President Trump over this bullshit pretense
that we actually live
in a democracy. We the people
picked it, so I guess we, yeah.
Well, we didn't pick him.
Yeah, no. Technically. Only a
fraction of the Democratic Party
primary electorate has voted so far, but the
nomination season is off to a rocky start.
Independent Bernie Sanders seems to be leading in
popular votes. Independent? He's an independent now.
Shut the fuck up.
Well, while upstart Pete Buttigieg is ahead in the delegate count.
And there's also the question of whether either one or any of the other candidates can bring the party together moving forward.
The current process is clearly flawed, but what could be better?
Finding an answer means thinking about the purpose of presidential nominations and about how the existing system falls short.
It will require swimming against the tide of how we've thought about nominations for decades, as a contest between everyday voters and elites, or as a smaller version of a general election.
A better primary system would empower elites to bargain and make decisions instructed by voters.
Amazing.
One lesson from the 2020 and 2016 election cycles
is that a lot of candidates,
many of whom are highly qualified
and attract substantial followings,
will inevitably enter the race.
The system as it works now with the long informal primary,
lots of attention to early contests,
and sequential primary season that unfolds over several months
is great at testing candidates to see
whether they have the skills to run for president.
What it's not great at is choosing among the candidate to clear that bar or
bringing their different ideological factions together or reconciling competing
priorities,
a process in which intermediate representatives elected delegates who
understand the priorities of her constituents can bargain without being bound to
specific candidates might actually produce nominees all right a nomination contest is
not like a general election okay get to the fucking meat of this motherfucker
is there any more truly i know it's just it's as much as we hear this it is bizarre to me that
anyone thinks there's anyone who gives a shit about uniting the Democratic Party.
People are living in squabble, getting paid $7 an hour.
We are literally, who in their right mind has any inkling of mental capacity to care about the fucking Democratic Party?
They don't care about that.
That's like just a candor they throw out there
to make Joe Biden or who the fuck ever viable still.
It doesn't fucking matter.
Nobody gives a shit about that.
Nobody has a visceral tie to the FDR party anymore.
Nobody fucking cares about your stupid fucking party.
You really fucked yourself by abandoning
what would become Sandersism, I guess.
Yeah.
This kind of sounds to me like it's in favor of ranked choice voting.
For decades, the conversation about nominations
has been about the conflicts between party elites and everyone else.
Today, that conversation is counterproductive.
A better approach is to think about how voters and elites
could best play their different roles.
Counterproductive.
I know why they gave this such an incendiary headline is because it's the
most boring shit it's just a clickbait headline well it's but it is getting it's just it gets at
the banality of the system in the sense that like we're all just supposed to accept that there are
party political elites and we are just little peons out here concerned with their own things.
And, you know, we still have to, like, exist in this democracy where there's a collaboration between the two.
You know what I mean?
I never thought this would come in handy on the show ever.
But as a retired frat boy, this person is literally suggesting that we treat presidential elections like fraternity and sorority rush.
Where, like, you pref, you go to these pref parties, and you say, well, I'd like to join a pref party.
Pi Kappa Phi, which was my fraternity, first, and then Sigma Phi Epsilon and Sigma Pi and whatever.
And then, you know, it's just, that's not how it works for fraternities, but for sororities it definitely works that way.
I'm down with that if we get to do the hazing
and make them drink the devil's milkshake.
I would love that.
Dude, we just make fucking Bloomberg do wall sits
and chug King Cobras until he fucking throws up.
Call him a fucking pussy every five seconds.
Yeah, slap him in the fucking face.
You want to be my fucking president bitch yeah
oh shit uh preference primaries could allow voters to rank their choices among candidates
as well as to register opinions about their issue priorities this process could accompany
a primary of the sort we're used to in which voters first choice instructed delegates and preference come into play. Just let people fucking vote.
I mean, just fucking vote.
Everybody.
Let's listen.
Everybody.
One vote.
Whoever gets the most wins.
What is so fucking hard?
I think I could spend years
and I'd never understand a caucus.
Yeah.
The actual percent,
like how they've divvied up these delegates,
I'll never know.
Well, it's so funny
because it's like,
you see where the Buttigieg campaign
was lodging this complaint
because this car with,
I forget, maybe it had Bernie stickers
or Biden stickers or something,
but it was parked too close to a polling site
so they called foul on electioneering.
And to me, it's like,
if you've won
your only contest by actually losing it by 6 500 votes you don't get to like you know grandstand
about electioneering you know what i mean it's like right right um jesus christ yeah no you're
exactly right tom it's just incredibly fucking boring well let's yeah again what this person's saying is like okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna rush delta gamma and kyle mega
and gamma phi beta and then then then the the the well the people that are in those get to pick
if you're you know it's a hedge because they see okay like for all trump is you know trump is a part of the elite but what trump did with the
republican party in 2016 was embarrass them all on a grand stage like i don't know if you remember
this but like remember a guy named rents prebus yeah he was the head of the republican party in
2016 i saw the most unfortunately named person exactly and he had an early role in trump's
cabinet but he was one of the first people to get sort of purged um but like he was one of the he
was like the tom perez of the republican party like all throughout that primary he said trump
will never be the nominee trump will never be the nominee and And then once he was, he had to fucking bend the knee. Kiss the ring, yeah. Exactly.
And so they see this happening.
It's not a threat to their interest when it happens on the Republican side.
Because the Republicans do what they want them to do.
They allow for the elite to continue ruining all of our lives and all this.
But it's an actual threat when Bernie is posing a challenge to the elite and the Democrat side.
So that's why... Why do they hate us so much, Terrence?
They do hate us.
Why is this happening?
Make no mistake,
if you're out there shilling,
cobbing for the Democrats,
these people hate you.
They really do.
It's just...
They hate mass movements.
We've said it a million times.
Well, they hate us because they know.
They hate us because they ain't us.
Quite literally.
Because that's their station.
That's their class.
Like, they understand that were we to become empowered, it'd be the end of them.
Right.
See this thing.
I saw this thing today.
I mean, it was kind of a stupid
throwaway thing I did,
but Barney Frank
was like sitting there
talking about like,
you know,
ideological purity
and all that stuff,
which is just shorthand
for you're going to
fuck my bag up
and I really don't give a fuck
if you need
a pancreas or whatever.
What was he saying
that in response to?
What was he saying?
I think he was just,
they were just talking about
the rise of Bernie.
I think it's just part and parcel of this sort of media assault against Bernie or whatever.
The thing is that the elites, this is something we have to internalize.
This is a battle.
This is a war that's being fought out.
They won big time in the 70s.
I feel like the elite and the capitalists, they won big time in the 70s like i feel like you know the elite and the capitalists
like they won like we're starting to amass our forces and be able to present another challenge
to them um and they're gas sliding but everybody yeah but they've always seen it as a battle
they've always seen it as calm as a as a war yeah and um and we have to do the same because like
look at what the fuck's happened over the last
30, 40 years. It's just gotten progressively
worse.
All the institutions have gone further to the right.
I don't know. I think that's why they hate us
so much.
Why is this happening?
We want so much. We want healthcare
and shit-free
air.
Well, the funny thing is they need to be able to have stuff like the affordable care act like it's it's funny because people think of it in
terms of like this morality thing people think that like the affordable care act is like a failure
of morality or something like they couldn't go the extra mile but they actually need to hold it over
us so that they can continue
persevering like they their continued station can continue existing so you know what i mean so like
they need to they need us to need them for health care so that's why they like dole it out
like in these small increments yeah it's just like yeah it's just like your employer keeps you
uh you know an obedient
worker just by keeping your benefits dangling in front of you like a fucking carrot right
instead of what sturgill described which is he wasn't even a fucking citizen of this
of the country he just rolled in with a sick baby and rolled out with a 14 bill
right and a healthy child yeah yeah i think too um
these people are so goddamn stupid.
I think about the video that's going around.
I guess it's Jon Favreau or Dan Fyfe.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Telling us that we need to shape up.
And here's the interesting thing.
That shit is so funny.
You need to shape up.
Whoever you're throwing your weight behind, Jon Favreau,
is a person that can't even pack out a goddamn middle school gym
when they go around campaigning.
Meanwhile.
We could pack out a middle school gym.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you something.
We could throw a Trill Billy show at any town in America and draw more people than Biden
campaign.
And I swear that's the truth.
That's literally true.
That's literally true.
And that's pitiful.
That is so sad.
It's pitiful.
That's the saddest thing I've heard to that.
That's not an arrogant thing
that's just based it's just objectively true and for them to have the arrogance still to suggest
that it's like she's so goddamn stupid that you can't see that without short of some sort of
chicanery through all the fucking mechanisms you've put in place to rob elections that it's
ours you know what i mean the
only way this goes sideways is if bloomberg's able to buy it somehow or there's like these
little caucus these little electoral mechanisms they do to fuck us out of it they probably already
got the whole thing planned out how they're gonna screw bernie out of all the delegates
it's gonna be a numbers game well even in like i said i'm still feeling sort of sanguine about it
it's like even if they do that like that might be a preferable situation they have a much bigger
problem on their hands if that's the case that's true they would have a massive problem look at
these fucking rallies big milwaukee party 20 000 people at these rallies and stuff here's the thing
if i'm fucking limp dick tom perez or barack obama or any of these fucking losers.
If I'm any of these people,
the best thing they could do is just chill in the cut
and like
let Sanders do his thing.
That's the only way
they're coming out of this.
Yeah, truly.
Like, unscathed.
They've got to fall in fucking line.
Well, I did see yesterday
that Obama said
that he was not going to.
Say he was not going to intervene if Sanders wants it.
Oh, I appreciate that.
And this is a man that has a long history of not intervening.
Yeah, and fucking shit.
So you're pretty fucking good at not intervening, you fucking worthless bastard.
He literally fixed his lips to say, I won't stop him.
Well, this was after he said he might stop him
a few weeks ago did he actually come out and say that when he was talking about his
new this new fund he's creating oh the unity fund yeah um i think that publicly he may say that but
privately the unity fund serves the same purpose that's to get amy clobber sharp polling at nine percent
the funny thing about that pod john quote though was that he he was saying it in response to online
bernie bros he was like you guys are you need to shape you need to shape up you're on your own
sounding like olivia newton john twitter it's complete fucking maniac sarah jones had a good
talk about it's like when sanders appoints stallin tit 69 as the white house comms director then
i'll eat my hat but until then i think y'all need to calm down a little bit stallin tit 69 well
it's the funny thing is like it just goes to show you how few problems these people have
they're focused on fucking online harassment but what's so funny to me about that is that history will remember that.
Like in a hundred years when they're describing the sort of Bernie phenomenon,
they're going to have to explain why these Pod John guys were like,
you know,
clutching their pearls that people were calling them dipshits on the internet.
So here's what I say if you if you
actually want to cement your place in the history books please harass a liberal today
also much preferable to go on the uh uh whoever tried to kill reagan around that's not that's not
true what you mean reed catcher in the r yeah, yeah. That's the traditional route, which is read Catcher in the Rye and try to assassinate
President.
Don't do that.
Just like, you know, harass Pod John.
Also, chalk or preferably spray paint fuck the government somewhere.
Could you do that?
That'd be great.
Chalk titties are good.
Chalk titties would be great.
And come up with a better term for the phenomenon of devil's milkshake
i'm trying to think of some weird every sexy sex ad i get a question about some weird sex thing
hey what's uh something crazy and i'm always like tell me and then they're too embarrassed too
like i can't wait to hear it right here's my test is come here and drink this bloomberg if
you want the president oh it's all the milk come concoction baphomet's shirt sherbert
sherbet okay well let's put a cap on this one um go support us on the Patreon website.
Patreon.
There's a website
or there's a fucking episode
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Just in case you want
that extra content.
I know you want it.
Go to P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com
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The content is good,
my friends.
It's good.
And there's a lot of it.
It's not half-assed. You get the whole backlog. there's a lot of it's not half-assed
you get the whole back log if you want the truth this is half-assed the paid the premium stuff
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exactly uh so go cast your vote go do that um again that's patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com
and um go check out our episode with sturgill simpson the country singer the country singer
sturgill simpson rolling stone made a listicle about it i haven't seen a listicle written in
at least six years so um it's funny that they dragged that out of listicle yeah yeah what they call them
yeah he's a rocker now he's not a country singer he's the dick daddy let's be clear he's the dick
daddy official but they did put it in the country section of the rolling stone yeah i wasn't i
wasn't hating on the person who wrote that i um i just thought we love you john yeah i just found
it funny that they pulled out at listicle because we do love you John Yeah I just Found it funny That they pulled out
At Listicool
Because
We do love you
Review Slutpill's
New album
Yeah
In the country section
Cause that'd be funny
Yeah put it in the country section
That'd be funny
Alright so check out
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And we'll see you
Next week
Bye