Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 210: Some Accidents Happen Inside The Car
Episode Date: August 5, 2021Tanya goes to the courthouse and has a visitor. Meanwhile the governor of New York Andrew Cwimo digs in deeper. Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty...
Transcript
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I saw a blast from the past at the courthouse.
Far, far, far past.
What was it?
Very unexpected.
A Bell County lawyer.
Who I once made out with on a church bus.
You don't get that too many times at the courthouse.
He walked right by me.
And I immediately recognized him, but I couldn't place him at first.
By the time he got by me, I'd figured it out.
And I was like, I knew he was a lawyer.
And he ran for office and lost.
But he's got an office in Bell County.
His last name's Howard.
And when I came out of the courthouse, I looked across the street.
Sure enough, there's a brand new sign out there across from the funeral home that says Howard Law Firm.
You think he's expanded into Letcher County?
Here's the thing is, that's been around for a while.
Not that he was in the office right across from Heritage for a little bit.
Really?
Yeah.
I had no idea.
Assuming it's the same guy.
If it's the same one, yeah.
Is he my age?
I don't know.
He might be a year or two older than me, I think.
I saw the name.
He went to a different school, but we met up in youth group.
I see.
You know.
Yeah, I see.
That was always the best, is being able to tell my friends at school that I had boyfriends
or girlfriends or whoever i was finger banging at
another school yeah because i yeah because of church you don't know them though yeah you don't
know i just made them up i mean i did that too but there were at least a few that went to pineville
because my church was closer to pineville that was pretty tight and you like because like back
there back then like the two main social
media platforms
was MySpace and
Zynga. And Tumblr.
Yeah I didn't use Tumblr. Tumblr
was. Tumblr was in 2005
there was Tumblr.
I thought Tumblr was a little more 2009
2012. I thought so I don't know though.
Yeah I guess I graduated high school in 2004. Did I have a Tumblr? No I guess what Ilr was a little more 2009, 2012. I thought so. I don't know, though. Yeah, I guess I graduated high school in 04.
Did I have a Tumblr?
No, I guess what I had was a live journal.
Oh, I'd give anything to find that live journal.
But, like, someone from, like, a different school would comment on your page.
Oh, yeah.
And you would look cool as fuck.
They'd be hot.
Put them in my top eight.
Yeah, yeah. You'd be like, yeah Put them in my top eight. Yeah, yeah.
You'd be like, yeah, you don't know them.
Yeah, yeah.
It's clearly a bot or something.
Yeah, I guess today it felt like, yeah, so the whole thing of like internet anonymity or whatever or misinformation and all this.
Weirdly enough, it feels like there's more of that now
than there was back then.
When it was easier to do.
Yeah, like you could.
Less chance of being caught up in your shit.
Yeah, yeah.
It seems like back then you could have more easily
like created a bot fake account
with like a hot chick as the profile pic.
For sure.
Be like, yeah, that's Charlinda.
She's my...
Charlinda!
She's my boo
from 30 minutes down the road.
My boo, thank.
Oh, God.
I guess now's a good time as any to confess
that I did not, in fact, make out with Micah Tolliver
when I was in sixth grade.
That was just something I was saying to seem cool.
Your secret's safe with
the 30,000 people that listen to this show.
Oh, it ain't that many, is it?
I have no idea.
It's dwindling by the week.
The stakes are getting lower and lower.
Somebody asked me
this past, I guess it was what this yeah this past weekend
um i ran in town said how many y'all got listening that thing now buddy i don't know
too too many i'll tell you that good question i don't know it is bizarre it's been five years four and a half actually but yeah yeah i'm just trying to
convince myself that it's not five five sounds sad does it half a decade podcasting we are veterans
we are veterans this is the golden age i want to keep going of internet radio I'm going to keep going until that Patreon says
7 subscribers
this is true
even as mad as I get about trailbillies
bullshit sometimes
anytime we have a meeting
where we're trying to figure things out
at the end of it it's just like
this is literally just me and Terrence whining
and Tom being like
guys it's just the internet.
We can do it, guys.
It's just, it's not that bad.
And he's right.
Well, the thing is, is I've distanced myself, as you might have noticed.
I've, you know, I'm taking a little break until I can get caught up on some work from the socials and stuff.
Oh, good.
I'm happy for you.
I feel okay about it.
Oh, are you off Instagram?
Off Insta?
I highly recommend that.
It's been great being out there.
I can't deactivate the Twitter
because I can't risk losing that Tom Sexton.
That's gold, you know?
That son of a bitch that's a rugby player in New Zealand
will scoop that up the second I do.
Oh, Lord.
Or the easy listening DJ in Kalamazoo.
Hard to say
yeah it's always tom being like come on guys just fucking get over it well and he's not wrong like i said well we're not wrong either terrence we deserve our moody
everybody's right you know everybody's right everybody is right it's actually a good approach
to life. Yeah.
Everybody's wrong and or everybody's right and or everybody's wrong.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I also saw something funny at the courthouse.
You want to hear?
Yeah.
More courthouse.
It's funny because I was there getting my tags renewed just yesterday.
Did you see the sign over the trash can?
I did.
I almost took a picture. Or the sign said? I did. I almost took a picture.
Or the sign said.
I didn't want to make the people that work there
feel self-conscious.
I did it pretty sly, I think.
I just tossed it up
as I walked out
on that side of my hip.
What's the sign say?
It says in all caps,
like handwritten marker,
please do not spit in the trash.
Yeah.
They have a problem with people spitting in the trash no they do people spit in their back or out yeah which i mean like it's so i was sitting i was
standing there thinking about that and i was like wow it's crazy to think that we lived as a society
we lived at a period where we put spittoons out to accommodate that social practice.
Like, man, if you want to spit.
Do it here, yeah.
Well, I mean, in high school, they had to put those signs up over the water fountains.
Please do not spit.
No tobacco in the water fountains.
There's no tobacco on school premises.
You're not supposed to.
It's like they know there's no way they can keep people from doing it.
No.
Because it's kind of easy to hide.
Not easy to hide.
You know when somebody's got a dip in, but you can't really prove it because you can't go out.
Yeah, right.
God bless.
That's hilarious.
God, I used to dip, man.
That was.
Ooh.
I used to love catching.
I loved when I first started dipping.
I just catched the wildest goddamn buzz oh yeah caught in your life
well i mean in college i definitely got addicted to black and mild cigars and now if i get too lit
i'll get a hankering for one if i can get to a gas station and get a hold of one oh i'm high as
fuck oh that's a little thing me and uh my buddy greg and our buddy Marty Dorsett, who used to be the quarterback for the University of Washington Huskies briefly.
We used to experiment in ways we could catch a buzz with dip.
And so what we did was we'd put it in our armpits between our toes.
You've told me this before and then you didn't believe me when I told you girls that I played softball with put it in their pussy.
That was just a step too far.
I think, and I maintain, it's as true
today as it was then.
I need to see some strong ass paperwork
on that. Well, I don't know that there
is any, but.
I believe it. Terrence, while you were at the courthouse,
did you happen to wander into the
women's restroom? I did not know
why. Did they have a spittoon in there?
For people who put it in their
pussy yeah i all pussy dippers right here this is to accommodate you because of cancel culture
we have to do this no but there's a whole billboard in there with four flyers on it i
took a pic of it i think tom should do a dramatic reading of it.
Oh, boy.
I don't hate it, honestly.
I might have took a different approach, but it ain't the worst I've seen.
An advertisement?
An advertisement, yes.
I'm being 100% serious when I say I could drink 12 beers and operate heavy machinery,
but I couldn't put a dip in now and do it.
I'd be off my ass.
Tom, I want you to read this.
Which one? The one on the lower left-hand side.
Wow.
Here.
Oh, we got here.
Yeah, lower left-hand side.
This is in our health department.
That's the courthouse. It's in the courthouse.
Really? That's in the women's bathroom
of the courthouse. I don't hate it. Really? Yeah. Well, zoom it back out. Look, there's like four ofouse. It's in the courthouse. Really? That's in the women's bathroom of the courthouse. I don't hate it. Really?
Yeah.
Well, zoom it back out.
Look, there's like four of them.
One's about substance abuse, but the other one are all the same.
Okay, here's what we got.
First off, we got a mid-century image of a man and woman making love in the backseat
of a car.
It reads, some accidents happen inside the car.
Don't park your future in the back happen inside the car.
Don't park your future in the backseat of a car.
Last year, over a million teens wrecked their futures by making the wrong choice.
Careless actions led to accidental pregnancies.
Here's the point.
Just understanding sex education isn't enough.
Act sensibly.
Avoid a head-on collision with pregnancy.
Accidents don't just happen. They are caused. Wow.
I don't know if I buy that completely.
Substance abuse.
How to recognize the warning signs of steps to end the addiction. I don't know if that one's any good.
Wait, so you don't hate the Dick and Jane?
Wait, wait, that's the one you're talking about.
I want you to read the Dick and Jane one.
I was going to say that
for last.
Substance abuse is... That's T-L-D-R.
It's probably like How to Know the Signs.
Yeah, that one was long.
I didn't read it.
This should be the cover art
of this episode. Going into deep detail.
They borrow three dollars
from you.
And spend it all at the broken spoken hazard.
Yeah, that's a definite sorry that happened or
I'm very glad for you.
They're sketchy. They keep their hands in their pockets.
They don't make eye contact. They subtweet
you and speak your piece and it ruins your life.
You're like, god damn.
This, uh, okay.
This will probably be the episode art if i have my way
but in case it's not uh this is like a stick figure drawing of a of a guy and a girl and it
says see dick and jane and then the next one says see jane pregnant it's it's jane from the first
one but she's put on some weight How do you make
A stick figure look pregnant
They bulge her out
See Dick and Jane quit school
That's like an advertisement
For getting pregnant
Who wants to be in school
Especially Letcher County schools
You're like this is kind of hopeless
Who don't want to get fat
I get some pussy and I get to quit school Especially Letcher County schools. You're like, ah, this is kind of hopeless anyway. Get out of school? Yeah. Who don't want to get fat? Quit school.
I get some pussy and I get to quit school.
Dick and Jane never thought about using birth control, so they had a baby while they were
still teenagers.
Dick's part-time job wasn't enough to pay the bills, so Jane had to go to work too.
That's a capitalist.
Both finally had to drop out of high school.
They never graduated.
If you don't want to be like Dick and Jane,
contact your local health department for information on birth control.
You owe it to yourself and your partner.
Let me ask you a question.
That's a serious question.
This is why I don't hate it.
Because the Indian could have, I assumed it was going to be abstinence.
Don't be like Dick and Jane.
Don't get dicked. Don't, don't don't fuck but instead it's a birth control ad okay I agree
with you okay I just want to say this there's never been a 15 year old in the history of 15
year olds that called his local health department for more information on contraceptives hey i saw your ad and i think i owe it to my partner to ask
well we're trying to normalize that here i agree with listen it's an earnest attempt uh wow she
they okay in see jane pregnant the stick figure is now the letter d wait let me see she just she
just has a flat back and a big round
belly. She got some D and then
that's how that shirt came out. Her body turned into the
shape of a D. I think that's a little
Easter egg for us.
God.
Some accidents happen inside the car.
Wow, I didn't even notice
that. Yeah, it's pretty
It's not what I expected
in the women's bathroom of the courthouse i'm
gonna be honest i didn't want to use the women's restroom but i was there for 45 minutes and my
bladder could not hold up in the bathroom for 45 reading this at the courthouse reading all the
signs of addiction it wasn't bad wasn't too bad i got pissed though because that's the first time
i've probably been in that bathroom
since we had to go
fucking drag their asses over
trying to make the bathroom
what were they going to put signs up that said
you have to have a dick to use this bathroom
you have to have a vagina to use this bathroom
or something I don't even know what they were going to do
that was their solution to the trans bathroom
well they
if I remember correctly they were going to do the trans bathroom bill.
It got out.
There was public outcry against it.
And so they held another meeting, but they didn't tell anybody where they were going to hold it.
And so they held it in the basement of the sheriff's department.
At 11 o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday.
It was literally in a broom closet the first mistake is
they thought we had jobs we care about they thought we had jobs we give a damn about yeah
we have nothing at all to do with our time um yeah so we still packed it out i literally was
leaning up against a broom in that room oh that was the most ridiculous. There's just something like you see, you
grow up seeing these men and kind of
having a sort of
reverence for older people,
your elders or whatever. And then it's like
seeing them all cowardly parked in a broom closet
sweating in a broom closet. Diminish that
for me. I was like, here you
know better than me. None of you.
Truly. Except for Wayne Fleming.
You're a GM.
No, Wayne Fleming is a star of this podcast.
I'd love to have him on as a guest.
No, I mean, Wayne, were y'all there after the meeting?
He pulled us aside and thanked us for coming.
Yeah, Wayne's on it.
Y'all are the future.
Thank you so much for coming down here.
Don't listen to these old kooks.
He's like, y'all keep doing this.
Wow.
Oh, Wayne. Anyway, I thought y'all would doing this wow oh wayne anyway i thought y'all
get a kick out of the scenery in the girl's bathroom that's good house that's good i mean
i'm with you i uh personally um i would like to see something that says um you know, get pregnant. If you do,
you can have an abortion up to two years.
And they have a stick figure.
Stick figure putting a knife in a baby. In a baby stick figure.
And it's Terrence's phone number
for more information.
How much more hopeful of a message is that?
Made a mistake.
You know, you can correct that
for up to two years and nine months. You a mistake. You know, you can correct that for up to
two years and nine months.
You got time. All you got is time.
You got time to deal with this.
No worries. Have that baby.
See if you like it. If you don't,
just go throw it in the creek.
It's fine. It's legal.
Totally fine.
No, yeah, you're right.
You're right. It's a good.
You can have a sucky baby.
Absolutely.
I've met plenty.
Yeah, all those babies are not good.
I'm sorry.
There's no way.
Statistically impossible for every baby to be good.
And they're 100% not cute.
All cute.
Yeah, you're right.
Take one look at me.
I was an awful baby.
Lactose intolerantant i had a horrible
time at my mother's breast ravished that was awful y'all remember when i was uh what i was
saying in the hospital some hysterectomy and y'all remember me telling you about um the new baby that was born i was
over there looking at the new babies are you all remember this i don't know and this is my favorite
i was looking at the new babies and this fucking dumb dick dude come over and there was all these
women looking and come to find out all the women were friends of the mom and the daddy come over and facetimed his mom to show her
the baby i don't remember this at all and he said hey mama look at my baby and all them women were
standing there talking about how cute it was and the mom said did you get a test?
And that man said,
Well, Mom, look at her.
She looks just like me.
She said, You better get a test.
Oh, wow.
That lady rules.
And the women were like so pissed.
So fucking pissed.
Oh, man.
It's probably like the sisters of the mall.
Right.
Yeah.
I'll never forget my... My ex worked over at beaver elementary in knotty county and there was this girl that went
in there with uh her husband a white guy and the baby clearly was not a white child you know what
i mean and somebody had asked about that like not knowing that that was the dad, just like that that was maybe a relative or something.
It was like, oh, is this the child's father?
And preemptively, the girl said,
yeah, he's got that condition
where he didn't get any of his dad's genes.
No way.
Which, strictly speaking, is not a lie.
No way.
Yeah.
Oh, my God. And that guy was like yeah yeah that's you know
now if that is a thing though could you imagine how much turmoil social anxiety that would cause that if you are like it's like one
in 500 000 it happens like one in 500 000 babies but it does happen to your baby yeah yeah like
it's like yeah it's a real thing that does happen but still how would the baby not be white to a
white mother yeah it still doesn't make any sense well i see you know it's complicated not that's
yes it's complicated tanya it's not either that or your real life dale gribble
oh shit holy got that disease where he didn't get any of his dad's genes
baby is a day older already.
He's got a disease.
My baby's diseased.
Rather call your baby's disease
than fess up to your own bullshit.
Oh, that's funny.
I know what you're saying.
It's like, wait.
Looks like he didn't get any of your genes.
Yeah, I want to know whose genes are in here.
Yeah, what's happening?
The conditions where the baby only got genes
from someone like 300.
From the mailman. Yeah from someone like from the mailman
yeah absorbed through the mail yeah yeah that's what anthrax was yes my child my child only got
the genes that go back to the cradle of civilization that's what i was gonna say yeah
you only get the genes that go back like 300 years. Yeah.
Oh, shit.
He only has the genes of our Ethiopian forebears.
You get tested.
Get a test.
Oh, fuck.
I love the positions people can tort themselves in when they're dead to rot and some shit. Well, but if you can convince someone of that, more power to you.
That poor bastard just took that on faith, you know?
He's like, well, she's real.
No, she wouldn't do that.
Oh, shit.
Oh, wow.
I had to...
There's a certain police officer that former police officer that thinks his child
is his child and in fact i know that that baby is my friend who is six nine redheaded guy
and one day he came in talking about yeah yeah they're saying that child's name is in the top percentile for height.
And it's like, I can't figure that out.
I'm 5'10".
And this kid's like 6'5", red-headed as can be.
And he's like 13 years old or some shit.
Oh, someone sent me a family photo off Facebook one time.
It's like, you see anything weird about this?
And I was like, no, I'm not observant enough.
What's going on here?
And everyone in the family had blue eyes except the little boy.
Now, how did two blue-eyed adults have a brown-eyed child?
I don't think you can do that.
I don't think you can.
No, you can't.
There's certain combinations that are impossible.
Exactly.
They were like, there's no way that kid is his.
There's absolutely no way.
There's a brown-eyed daddy somewhere in this gene pool.
Oh, wow.
What the hell?
What's that sound?
Is that me?
He's playing music.
Somebody's jingling.
It might be me.
I don't know.
My phone fell on the floor or something.
Well, what do we got on the agenda today, huh?
So, did you see the video where Biden holds Governor Beshear's son's hand and gives him his used mask?
You didn't see this, Tanya.
No.
How did I miss that?
Well, I was buying.
Was he in Kentucky?
No, I think Beshear went to D.C.
Damn, I missed that.
But Tom sent it.
Didn't you send it to me yesterday, Tom?
Yeah.
A few days ago.
Well, basically what it was, you ever, you know,
I'll take it back to high school again
for you.
Did you ever have somebody put like a piece of gum in their mouth and they like give you
a five and they leave you with a wrapper in your hand?
Yeah.
It was kind of like that, but with a germ ridden mask.
He just stuck it in the kid's hand.
Being some girl named Stephanie from softball team, it was the president of the United States.
Oh God.
Yeah, he just put that used mask in that child's hand
and held his hand like that and just patted him.
It was like, that's going to be worth something one day.
Yeah, and you could see the kid is just kind of confused,
but also kind of excited that the senile president
just gave him this used mask what a shitty president to me it's weird because like biden
does this thing um like his way of like showing he's got your that you've got his attention is
he'll like hold your hand and so much touching so much touching which when you said did you see
the video i thought you were going to talk about Cuomo.
I will get to that.
What? What are you talking about? The Cuomo
video.
The video montage of all the people he
He made himself of all the people he
It is Trump level.
He made a video? Oh,
Terrence. You didn't see this going around? No.
We're going to watch it then in a little bit.
Let's finish this. I'm sorry.
Just so much touching. these men cannot keep their hands
off each other admittedly off everyone yeah they love to touch each other but yeah kemo dropped a
whole video that i can tell you the essence of the whole video it's all pictures of him kissing
and hugging on people and the whole essence of the video is you're all pictures of him kissing and hugging on people and the whole
essence of the video is you're not special i i do this to everyone holy shit yeah his thing was i i
do this with and this is why this is what this you know who this is not uncommon fucking what's
his dick that fucking doctor in town that owns everything you have to be more specific
there's several of those yeah pellegrini pellegrini smacked my ass one time at summit city
i turned around said don't touch me and he said i do that to everybody you're not special
that's literally what he said to me well yeah the thing is it's like but you don't
yeah but yeah the thing is you don't yeah and i you don't. Yeah, but you don't. The thing is, you don't.
Yeah.
And I didn't know what to say to him.
I was just like, just don't touch me.
Just literally do not touch me.
I mean, that's an insane thing to say.
And that is what the governor of New York dropped in an entire video this week.
He said, look, I do it to black people.
I do it to Italians.
I do it to old women.
I do it to powerful people. Children. I do it to black people. I do it to Italians. I do it to old women.
I do it to powerful people.
I do it to rank strangers on the street.
Wait, so he did a montage.
I'm sorry.
I rerouted us, but this is.
What did you even reroute us from?
I've already forgotten.
The video.
You all said that. Oh, the Biden thing.
Fucking Bidens.
Holding Bashir's kid's hand. It was a video? from i've already forgot the video or you all said that oh the biden thing holding basheer's
it was a video like what were they doing that was so substantial that there was a video of it
just taking oh i think it was like i think it was something on news you know like they
like the live look in of like what biden's doing he was just like basheer and his wife and kids were meeting. Gotcha.
There's so many different videos.
It has to be the top.
Come on, come on.
I need it.
I need it now.
It is.
I mean, it's the best video I've seen since Trump's. I do it to Albanians.
I do it to.
I do it to.
It doesn't matter.
It's literally videos of him just...
Him touring the world, just slapping people on the ass.
Him kissing the Dalai Lama on the forehead.
There is really no shit.
There is one of him and Bill Clinton.
I was like, man, that's probably not who you want to put in that montage if you're trying to...
Literally, there is one of Bill.
He's not going anywhere.
Surely, right?
Who?
Cuomo.
No, Biden this week said he should resign.
By the time this comes out.
The audacity.
Yeah, my own family members.
What's his brother's name?
Chris?
Or is his name Chris?
I don't know.
This is him responding.
Is this...
Terrence ain't got enough data on this one.
A lot of people don't know this.
A lot of people don't know this.
I go into gay bathhouses and do this.
A lot of people don't know.
Come on.
The sauna at the Y, I'm in there, I'm kissing guys all day.
God damn it.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, you gotta...
I mean, that's kind of like when someone gets called out for saying something racist,
and they're like, no, no, I hate on everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's fine.
This is like...
But doing it with sexual assault is really...
That's really playing fast and loose.
Is it 14 minutes?
Albanians.
You reach for Albanians?
No, he doesn't.
Azerbaijanis.
Azerbaijanis.is you know
I go to the Greek coffee joint
the little yaya's in there
I grab them I kiss them on the forehead
it's no big thing
oh wow
I mean like did he have that ready?
Did he have that, like, waiting in the wings?
Or did he, like, literally put a team, set up a team to, like, compile all this video footage?
Maybe when the allegations came out.
I think what it was was, like, some of his staffers, Tanya, had said that he had been.
Here it is.
Can you turn it up?
It's not turned down.
Oh, I accidentally locked your.
Wow, we've really got a.
We're professionals.
We've been doing this for five years, guys.
Absolutely. Let me see. years, guys. Absolutely.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Straight and gay.
Trans.
Black and white.
Young.
A child.
He put children in his anti-creep video.
And elderly people.
LGBT.
Powerful people. Weak people. Powerful people.
Weak people.
Powerful people.
Fucking nobodies.
Peasants.
A bunch of plebes.
He does people on the street.
I do it with everyone.
Young.
And old.
This is incredible.
I'll tell you it's the best thing I've seen
That's fucking
Bonkers
I just gotta tell you this video
Just to get you updated on the story
Look at this
Yeah
That's the episode
Yeah the picture with him and Clinton
Screenshot that and email it
Or email it
Text it to me
attach that to an email
and send it to me
what were you saying
what was I saying
eh fuck
that's not been too important
that's incredible
wow
it really is
I watched it so many times
I was like this is fake
someone faked this there's no way this is real
it looked like he did that though in that press conference
he was having
he 100% did this
that's fucking crazy that means that he had a button
probably under the lectern
like hey play the video
hey you know the thing that we made weeks ago
when I knew this was coming
oh my god
Dog
That's really
Some next level shit
Wow
Incredible
You know
Anthony
I was thinking about
Anthony Weiner
The other day
Like he should have
Gone with that
Who's that?
Remember the
Like the New York
He was like a congressman
Or a senator
Yeah he was sending
Dick pics to like And his last name like a... And his last name's
Weiner? And his last name is Weiner, yeah. I forget what it was.
Was she like an intern or something?
Yeah, he got caught sending... He was married to
Huma Abedin, who was like
Hillary's chief of staff.
And he got caught like sending
dick pics to multiple, multiple
people. And then like
kind of got rehabilitated a little bit
and then got caught doing it again
To like a 17 year old
He should have just said that he did that to everybody
Listen
The Dalai Lama
The Dalai Lama has pictures
Of my dick on his telephone
I mean
That is the second best response
The first response
To these allegations
The first best one is always, she wishes.
Yeah.
That's the first best.
Like, come on, these people wish.
Yeah, he's not denying it, actually.
This is interesting.
He's not even denying it.
No, he's proving that he does indeed.
And apparently what else came out in this press conference?
He said that this woman had been sexually
assaulted in the past and because of that was uh like too sensitive like like literally insinuated
that this woman since she had experienced sexual assault in the past could not recognize it the future oh my god that's what he said we this is 2021 the baby has been kicked off every
fucking covid ridden festival from here in california but we have politicians literally
doubling down on their right to sexually assault anybody they goddamn well and the the problem here is not
their behavior but our own understanding of sexual assault our definitions are fucked well the problem
is also their behavior it's all it's behavioral no i'm saying that's their problem that's what
they're saying they're like this isn't about me this isn't about me. This isn't what I, this is, you're all's misunderstanding of what sexual assault is.
President Modi of India.
Oh, you're saying it from their perspective.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're saying that the problem is.
Yeah, it's us, not them.
It's incredible.
It's a sight to behold.
I mean, this is one of the many times I had to lay my phone down and just stare into space
and really process this.
It's like, what the fuck? I had to lay my phone down and just stare into space and really process this.
What the fuck?
And the audacity of Joe Biden to fucking step up and say, Yeah!
Motherfucker.
What did Joe Biden say?
He said that Cuomo should step down.
He said resign.
He said he needs to resign.
Joe Biden had the audacity.
You know, Jesus fucking Christ. We we live in hell we live in absolute i mean this is this is
it's pretty entertaining this kill my video i never say a stupid name right
remember when i called him the first time i ever said his name on the podcast it was so bad
i'm such a dummy yeah that's pretty fascinating um uh a whole team
of people created this video created a montage video of him molesting people
if i was bill clinton i would try to paint myself as the victim here
try bill clinton should spin this and be like everyone in this video should come forward
i just i just could not believe it i could not believe my eyes that's fucking nice god dude of
all the strategies because you know i just here's just what i want to say if If you're making some feeble attempt to say this
is just a generational divide,
whatever, whatever, why
in the fuck do you add
young women and Bill Clinton to the fucking
montage? Literally. And children.
Bill Clinton is a very interesting editorial
decision.
I would fire whoever
my video guy was that
threw that in there
This is always what I think about
There's a whole team of motherfuckers
Around this guy making six figures each
Coming up with a strategy
Of how they're going to save his ass
So that they can save all their own asses
Check it out listen
There's a really great picture of the governor
And President Clinton
That's what
Yeah Everybody loves Bill Of the governor and President Clinton. That's what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Everybody loves Bill.
Put it in there.
You know, there was like a whole storyboard of ideas they had posted.
Who knows?
They workshop this out.
I'm sure.
Absolutely. And this, I'm sure they had a top five strategies they were going to go with.
And this is what won out.
Well, you had to go with the one where he doesn't, because like denying it, everybody
knows at this point that like denying it doesn't help your cause.
And so he found the one way out to where he didn't have to deny any events.
Amazing.
He could admit that he did it, but tried to shift the Overton window around him.
He's trying to normalize being like, you know, like violating people's space.
Literally his, I mean, his line, the whole message was, you're not special.
The photo of him with the little boy was very weird.
He is, he's Pellegrini.
He's Pellegrini, that's what I'm telling you.
As soon as I saw this, I was like, this was Pellegrini saying, you're not special.
I touch everyone.
This is him being like, come on.
The photo of him and the little boy is very weird because he's holding the boy under his chin.
It's very sick.
It's very sick.
It's some sick shit.
This passed so many political operatives.
And still, we think we're voting our way out of this.
This is the people paid the
highest i mean arguably the mayor of new york is one of the most powerful like politicians that's
not a you know whatever yeah the fucking mayor of new york almost assassinated about the sicilian
mafia like in the 80s like he'd like go to sicily and like they had a hit on him and they pulled it at the last second probably the mayor of New York City
has access to the best
political operatives money can buy
well he's the governor of New York
yeah yeah that's what I meant
it's like how how did this motherfucker
how
it got to where
I couldn't even
I couldn't be around the governor
because he couldn't keep his hands to himself.
He said, Bill, you look real thin.
You've been looking thin since you've been on that diet.
He started poking my bones.
Went to a strange place.
I love a tall bottom, Bill.
God damn.
Tall bottom. I can't with these motherfuckers. i love a tall bottom bill he's uh that's that's that's something no this one this sent me on a whole spiral this week i
have not recovered from this video i mean i think it was just yesterday or the day before yeah yeah
i mean um i mean like it's what i mean what's really crazy and the tweet was going
around it's been going around ever since all this cuomo first stuff started but that hilarious
fucking tweet from bakari sellers that was like y'all almost had cynthia nixon this is why experience
matters and it's like i don't really care one way or the other about cynthia nixon but it's a funny thing because it kind of is a great example of how cuomo had so many stands you know
even up to as recently as a year ago that's what i was going to say what you don't know about this
story is it spawned the term cuomo sexual and it accounts like that brooklyn dad defiance and i was like yeah weird
like marcos melitzus you know like shit daily coast yeah they're like yeah they were quote
we're proud cuomo sexuals well yeah like we we documented it at the time about how deranged it
was but it's really crazy to be a person in society that's able to see
something as deranged as it is in real time and then watch it get even more deranged as time goes
on so like when the daddy governor thing was happening last year a little earlier than this
obviously it was like in the springtime but they were doing it with daddy bashir and cuomo and everything yeah it was the
spring of democrat daddies yeah yeah but uh you couldn't really ask for a better example
misguided that was to say the least absolute pandemonium well that's yeah i just i've not i've
not recovered.
Wow.
These are the people making the big bucks in the Democratic Party.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I know somebody who public opinion has definitely not turned against.
Former President Bill Clinton.
Let's add him to this montage. The one person that's not polarizing at all
did they also have him like kissing modi they had him kissing
who's modi like the president or the pm of india whatever i mean president modi of india President Modi of India. Kenneth Starr.
Bobby Bowden, former Florida State football coach.
What do they have in common?
I've kissed them all.
I bet you anything they spent hours trying to figure out how they could doctor a picture of him and Obama kissing.
How can we create a picture of me kissing Obama?
Joe Pa.
I kissed Joe Pa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe P Joe Pa. I kissed Joe Pa.
Joe Paterno.
You know Joe Paterno?
Who in the world doesn't like Coach Joe Pa?
There's a photo of me.
It's two Italian men sharing a kiss.
I feel like you've never seen that.
Two men that always do the right thing.
I kissed Jews. It's a picture of epstein
just the worst example from every idea I've kissed I've kissed
LGBTQ people
It's like Andrew Cunanan
Murdered for something
Who
Like no
Who is the
The Republican
The black Republican
That Trump killed
At his rally
Urban King
Urban King
He's an urban king On his deathbed The black Republican that Trump killed at his rally. Herb and Kane. Yes, and Herb and Kane.
On his deathbed.
Entertainers, it's him and R. Kelly.
Oh, fuck.
Fucking kill me.
My side hurts.
My face hurts.
That's something i cannot believe you hadn't seen this sure is something
oh god damn it this it somebody said this is our
next president hey probably we'll probably oh there was there was talk do you remember during
the election everybody's like cold on trump and they're like let's just let cuomo well that's why
he put that book out like yeah early on in the pandemic, how successful he was, because he thought that he would be the next president.
Talk about getting out in front.
Well, the damnedest thing is, out of all this, the craziest shit,
is he's positioned himself as a champion of victims of sexual assault.
Out of all this.
This is a sick ticket.
This is an absolutely sick ticket this man god damn yeah
and his fucking weird ass brother who's like who also had a hand in putting this video together
mind you as as a cnn journalist oh yeah that makes sense yeah he was on the little i mean
his little ad hoc panel how do you save my ass
imagine i mean i don't want to drag us too dark here because this is anyway but imagine
like being having dealt with this man and been totally and seeing this imagine working with
this man probably being assaulted by him in some way
being made to feel completely uncomfortable on all accounts and seeing this video if nothing else
he's liable to bring them out of the fucking woodwork with this shit yeah i mean he definitely
doesn't seem so he's digging in yeah uh to say the least yeah he's basically like buckle up come for me
i forgot about this part of that video todd you say this he says he's talking about the the woman
that's accused him of sexual assault says and she comes out and says that i kissed her and said ciao bella i say that all i said that to president
modi of india last week i said i kissed him i said ciao bella it's just something i say
you imagine how fucking creepy that would be i mean yeah i um yeah i don't know what to say about that that's on this the same day that nina turner loses
what a day yeah i mean he'll probably ride it out oh he's clearly i mean i could be wrong he has
tripled down on this by the time this comes out he may have like resigned already but i just don't
see it surely not in his nature.
There's no way this motherfucker's resigning this week.
It's not in his nature to... He might
in a month, but this man will go down
in flames if he does go
down. Right, right. I just don't even
see it. My prediction is this man will be throwing up the first
pitch of the Yankees game.
That's how this shit's
going, because you know how this shit goes.
He's going to be in a pepsi
commercial these motherfuckers man all they know now and you gotta wait 72 hours and then it'll be
on to the next thing yeah right right right it's like they if if nothing else a lot was learned
during the trump years about uh a uh uh the time clock of the american mind that shit is that shit is insane i can remember
even as early as like 2010 2011 it was just like casey anthony wall to wall around the clock you
know that was like a big story and that like like, that today, that Casey Anthony case
would probably get like
15 minutes of coverage.
Yeah.
And it'd just be the next thing.
I remember that was just on TV constantly.
Every time you turn the goddamn TV on.
Wasn't that
the center of a discourse thing
this past week?
Because didn't that,
that movie Stillwater,
isn't that about the Casey Anthony thing?
That's about Amanda Knox.
Oh.
Did those happen at the same time? Around That's about Amanda Knox. Oh. Yeah.
Did those happen
at the same time?
Around the same time.
Okay.
In my mind,
they've kind of become
conflated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was,
and I never,
when it was happening,
I never could make sense
of the Amanda Knox thing.
I didn't know,
like when she,
she was the one in Italy.
Yeah, for some reason
I thought Casey Anthony
was in Italy.
I got all this fucked up.
I don't know what's going on.
Yeah.
Casey Anthony,
never mind.
Amanda Knox was, you're going to say Casey Anthony. No, no, no, no, no, I wasn up. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. Casey Anthony. Amanda Knox was.
You're going to say Casey Anthony.
No, no, no, no, no.
I wasn't.
I wasn't.
I know exactly what you're going to say.
She was the one who was too hot that nobody could believe she would be a murderer.
Right?
Love to be murdered by a hottie.
Man.
That was. I think that one was in Florida.
Maybe.
Oh, god damn.
God damn.
Oh, shit.
Y'all know any people vacationing in Florida?
Mm-mm.
Can you imagine?
20% of all new cases are in Florida.
Yeah, what do we make of this new COVID stuff, huh?
COVID Delta Delta.
Delta Delta.
Well, I have to say.
Record, record, one nine.
We're all going down.
Man, it's fucking dark.
It's like, it's, I am glad they didn't name it the Epsilon variant for a couple reasons.
One, it's proximity to Epstein in the way it sounds.
But also, Epsilon just sounds like insurmountable.
Yeah.
Epsilon, like a Marvel villain could be named Epsilon.
Well, if we get to Omega variant, then that's how we know the goose is cooked, right?
Oh, because Epsilon is E?
Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon.
Zeta, Eta, Theta.
Frat boy. Goddamn frat boy.
Zomacrom, Pyro, Sigma, Tau, Epsilon.
Phi, Kappa, Omega.
Let me hear you sing.
Oh my god. Wow.
So you know the whole Greek alphabet.
I know the whole Greek alphabet.
Illuminati. Damn, Tom. Yeah, I know the whole Greek alphabet. Illuminati.
Damn, Tom.
Yeah, I do, unfortunately.
Peter's out for Bernie, dude, too.
I just knew Alpha and Omega because that's what God says.
First and last.
That's all you need to know until the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a pretty tight thing to say.
I'm the Alpha and Omega, bitch.
What do you say if somebody approaches you and says,
I'm Alpha and Omega?
How do you come back from that?
It's like okay okay
checks out sounds good
I am a beta now that you bring it up
well it's
so
so like I keep
seeing these things that say the numbers
are higher than they were at this time
last year,
but the death rate is as low as it's been since March or April.
So I don't know.
It seems like what's going on is the vaccinated people
can spread it just as easily as the unvaccinated,
and they are and so a lot of unvaccinated
people are getting it and dying as a result and it is occurring at the same time as this really
bizarre culture war between unvaccinated and vaccinated people that seems entirely hopeless and without any kind of
resolution
or anything in sight.
I don't know.
The culture war between vaccinated
and unvaccinated has
got me so
depressed.
It's like there's
nothing, I don't
know, there's nothing beyond it it's the ultimate like
impasse an unvaccinated man um installed my hot water here this week i mean i had people coming
in and out of my house yeah doing all kinds of shit the last couple weeks i'm sure they're
unvaccinated i mean i don't really he asked me i wasn't gonna i wouldn't have asked i did ask that
he wore a mask like we both wore masks it's just the same guy that asked if you were christian you guys we could do a whole
episode on this dude and at the end he was in my house for four hours and at the end of it he said
you know i've really enjoyed talking to you well that's cool this man was a barrier this man was a
riot and it's it seemed pretty clear to me he'd never met a bitch like me that seemed pretty
obvious he's looking i said you're uh one of those huh well i gave him a sprite as soon as he got
there i started looking around i was like fuck i should have took all this shit down i should have
like i should have cleaned it up in here i mean there's just wall-to-wall titties in there and
that's not that's not even the worst of it.
But, like, I handed him a...
I think it's probably the pentagrams.
I'm probably getting that.
Yeah, there's a few of those.
But I handed him a Sprite.
This is maybe the funniest.
I gave him a Sprite to drink.
And when he sat the can down on my dresser, I looked.
And he had sat it down on a packet, an unopened package of green-glittered,
pot-leaf leaf shaped pasties.
You think you knew what they were?
I don't think you knew what they were.
It was a clear
packaging. You could see it.
It was a pot leaf.
When he turned around, I just slid it out
from under the pot and took it
to the other room. I was like, oh my god my god but yeah he um so do you want to hear please do you want to hear about this please
well let me type bo on the vaccinated part he asked me because we were talking about how bad
it was getting la la la and he he said he said you took that shot and i said oh yeah
i said how about you he said no he had it so fucking casual like he's like
been meaning to but just haven't got around yeah totally i was like oh my god i didn't even say
nothing he's like no no he had it but when he when i opened the door he said are you a christian
and i i i like the dogs had ran out and i was trying to make sure the dogs weren't jumping on
him and so it was a little bit chaos anyway and And I didn't answer because I was dealing with the dogs.
And he asked me three times in a row.
You should have just cryptically said, I've been baptized.
Which is true.
Strictly speaking.
But finally I said, no.
And I was about to say, are you here to save me?
Or put this, why are you here?
I opened the door because I thought you were here to put my fucking heater in i ain't had a good share in a month okay
but damn it was all between this and the poor cashier down at food city i'm starting to think
you're a little bit of a karen what did i do well i thought you was here putting my share no i didn't
say none of that i didn't say none of that I thought you said that to him
No no no
And finally I said no
And he said well he looked surprised
And he said well you should be
And I was just like
Yeah be a Christian I guess
But anyway the whole thing was an elaborate set up for a joke
You want to hear the joke
Please
It turned into a whole lot
The joke was well i was gonna say
when jesus comes back he won't be able to find you all the way up here that's pretty that's pretty
good pretty wholesome yeah yeah it's a wholesome i was like well yeah she won't be looking for me
oh my god you called him a she you you misgendered you misgendered jesus wow. You misgendered Jesus. Wow.
That's a bad sin to people like that.
Anyway, I mean, the guy said he liked me.
I don't know.
He kept talking to me.
He picked up my baseball bat.
He said, oh, you don't let nobody get away with much up here, do you? And I was like, no.
Because I have a baseball bat by my door.
Which is mostly for wildlife at this point.
If he hadn't opened up with the wholesome joke that's
probably could have went creepy real quick yeah definitely but then he saw my shotguns because
they're in the closet the fucking hot water he's in the back of the goddamn closet it's a whole
mess but um so finally he says i guess you probably scared he said are you you scared of
boogers up here that's what he said and i got to pull the classic 90s line buddy i am the booger i'm the booger up here he loved it he loved it we
we were we were both and just slapping yeah we were driving all fucking day he loved it
and when he at nine nine o'clock it was almost nine it was getting dark and he said
but if i'm up here past nine you're gonna have to cook me some dinner
i said i'm making i'm about to make some popcorn for myself yeah i'll share here past nine you're gonna have to cook me some dinner i said i'm making i'm about to make
some popcorn for myself yeah i'll share my popcorn with you he said that what you're having for
dinner i said yeah popcorn and wine that's my single girl dinner um even the even the heart
the hvac man just had a nice little yeah we were just romping around a fair for a few hours so i
was making popcorn he's still working finally he said are you really not he's well i got a pan out
he said oh you really gonna make me some food i said i can't the fucking water's off he really he really was
angling for dinner wasn't it trying to make it sound like you he turned this into a date night
and he texted me three times afterwards wanting my name i never responded so he was trying to smash
he's trying to disarm you with christian stuff this man was retired oh he's older yeah he was
like good looking yeah he's good he was 80 you know i like a daddy like a little silver fox
interesting yeah i mean he was retired from some thing where he installed shit but now he worked
i'm not gonna dox him but i it turned out i like he when he told me where he worked i waited a
little while and i said oh i know I know somebody who works over there.
And I knew very well she was the boss.
And I name dropped the woman that I know.
And he said, yeah, that's my boss.
I knew his boss.
Wow.
And he's still trying.
He's still texting me.
Well, he's got to know who put on the prayer list because he called me.
He called me afterwards. And I did answer when he called
because I thought he might have forgot something.
But it was like 1045 by the end, and I answered.
I was in the hot tub.
As soon as he left, I got in the hot tub.
I was like, this man's ruining my whole night.
Get the fuck out of here.
And when he saw the hot tub, he had to walk around to the water hose.
He's like, oh, I see you got a hot tub.
I hear those make you feel pretty good.
I said, oh, yeah.
They do.
This guy. I think he wanted in the hot tub. He wanted dinner. feel pretty good i said oh yeah this guy i think he wanted
his heart couldn't handle it though i know no no he couldn't handle it i don't think he was
horny at all i think he just really wanted a meal and he wanted to get in the hot tub and he wanted
a conversation i'm sure he doesn't get to talk to people like me very often i imagine a guy looks
like buck strickland on King of the Hill,
glass of wine and popcorn in your hot tub.
He says, this ain't getting any hotter.
I did get in the hot tub with popcorn after he left
because I have multiple bowls that float.
I love it to have popcorn floating around.
Pop, really?
Yeah, any wooden bowl floats.
Oh my God. So I put popcorn and floating balls in the water
Anyway, point is
Me and the boy had a whole
We had a whole
We had a whole skit going by the end of it
Well, you probably would have checked in on him
If he wasn't vaccinated
You could have
Well, we both wore masks and I got tested today
Oh
We'll see
If the test comes back bad I'll let y'all know
We'll all be in quarantine together
Terrence will have to come bring me food again
Uh
Yeah I mean it's getting pretty bad
Should we start recording over Zoom again?
Or at least on the porch
Yeah I guess we could do that
It was cooled off today
I thought about you Tom
I always think about Tom when I eat Wendy's chili
Chili man
And when I saw
That the temp had dropped below 70
I was like I'm getting me a Wendy's chili
Tom made a joke one time about i don't know it was like some some some enemy or an ex or something
of his that's out living lavish he was talking about what they're doing now and he said me oh
i had wendy's chili for dinner hot chili anybody that's a veteran employee of Wendy's will know this,
but when they make the chili, there's like a sort of a get-up,
like a suit of armor almost, but not really.
And you have to take the pot because, like,
the chili is made up from, like, all the old, like,
burger meat that they don't use.
So they just got to repurpose it for something.
And when you come through, it's protocol to scream, hot chili but in this like suit cute the chili man the wendy's chili man
yeah if you've been a wendy's chili person holler at us let us know what that experience was like lot yeah well yeah it's um yeah i don't know i mean it it seems like yeah i don't know you don't
think he was hot for me you think he just liked where i live he might have just wanted a conversation
i do i think it sounds like it was just wholesome it was pretty wholesome yeah i mean i left him
alone in my home i had to go buy a part at Frazier's before it closed Oh he definitely like
Oh if he was that
If he pilfered while you were there
No no y'all know that I had
I set up a camera outside on my porch
So I can watch the dogs when I'm not there
I moved it in the house before I left
I had a camera on him
Wow
And literally I got in the car
I called my friend to tell her what was going on
I was like I just left this man alone in my house.
She thought it was a bad idea. And she was like,
no, it sounds like he's just nosy.
Asking if you're a Christian and all this shit.
You know how people are. They're just nosy. And I was like, yeah, I'm here
complaining about somebody being nosy. Meanwhile, I got him
surveyed right now. I got surveillance
on this motherfucker.
Yeah, no.
He just, he piddled
around in the closet. And then when he got as far as he could, he just sat there, and Ruby was crying and barking in her kennel the whole time.
I'm gonna use that joke for sure.
Jesus won't be able to find you.
Yeah.
Apparently you gotta ask him if they're a Christian three times first for it to be funny.
According to him.
That's how all good jokes are he's like man she
won't even let me tear up here with this one you gotta earn the punchline no you gotta earn it i
mean i didn't know what to say if i'd said yes and he had given me some fucking bible trivia i
wouldn't have known it what was i gonna say i wouldn't go i wasn't gonna keep up a christian
ruse for hours while this man was in my home. That's when you respond with something like, depends on who you ask, or on my better days, or on my worst days.
Only the good half.
Yeah, yeah.
You need some kind of witty response like that.
I didn't have anything.
Plus, the dogs were going apeshit.
I was keeping the man from being mauled to death at the moment.
And he's just like, are you a Christian?
Are you a Christian?
Yeah.
It went from a jokey tone to like a fire and brimstone
what the fuck is going on up here
oh well uh let's put a bow on this one um if you're a christian go to patreon.com
slash true billy workers party and if you ain If you ain't and you want an alternate path to salvation,
go to our Patreon and subscribe.
That'll get you there.
That's right.
P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com.
If you don't know how to spell it by this point,
I probably can't help you much.
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Sign up.
Anything else, guys?
Keep rocking in the free world.
All right.
All you cuamosexuals out there, be careful.
Oh, God.
See you later.
Bye.