Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 214: Captain's Log

Episode Date: September 2, 2021

Tanya takes on Big Water and gets kicked out of Jenkins Days; the gang talks cliff dwellings and mounds; Letcher County speaks its piece Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 you have you flipped more canoes than kayaks oh yeah testing testing tommy ever go to camp earl wallace where camp earl wallace yeah it's like a little 4-h camp in east kentucky a lot of east kentucky kids go to i went till i was too old to go i was the only kid there with boobs but uh i flipped canoes left and right over there flipped every canoe they had well i flipped a canoe one time on a canoe camping trip with all the camping gear in it oh i mean everything was in dry bags but it was such a pain in the ass getting everything back in the oh i'm sure canoe just having to swim around after shit we saw an osprey, though, this weekend. Like a bird. It's a massive bird. And it swooped down and, like, you know, grabbed the fish out of the water.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Oh, love that. And then as it was flying off, it shook. And all this water came off of it. Oh, we saw some herons pull that shit in Colorado. Really? Yeah, it was incredible. I also saw a golden, no, no, no, a golden hawk.? Yeah, it was incredible. I also saw a golden... No, no, no. A golden hawk.
Starting point is 00:01:08 That's what it was. Flaming golden hawk. Yeah, a golden hawk. You want me to tell you a little something about the golden hawk you might not know? An osprey. What do they look like? Sorry. They look like hawks, but bigger. Oh. What do you know about the golden hawk?
Starting point is 00:01:24 When you hear a bald eagleagles cry you know like that iconic yeah you know freedom cry that's actually a golden hawks cry because bald eagles cries really like pussy so like oh no we gotta beef this one up so america basically their animal mascot is like uh you know they took made an amalgam of two different types of hogs. One that looks physically imposing and one that sounds physically imposing. My sister went hiking, excuse me, in Canada one time with some people. It's actually crazy. Her luggage got lost and she just literally went on like a 10-day hike with nothing.
Starting point is 00:02:04 She's fucking crazy. She's like, I ain't letting this ruin my bad time. She didn't have no 10-day hike with nothing. She's fucking crazy. She's like, I ain't letting this ruin my bad time. She didn't have no gear, no shoes, nothing. Just absolute loon. But anyway, she said that her and her friend were out and they saw a bald eagle. And the friend was like, what is that? She said, oh, it's a bald eagle. And the girl looked at her and said but we're in canada
Starting point is 00:02:26 like the bald eagle respects the borders it's like i know my range hey we're getting a little little northern maine we're getting a little too close for comfort let's dial it back in but i was in the russell fork this weekend and there were a ton of kayakers over there. But, you know, every weekend in October, they release more water through the dam. And so it's like a great run in October. I really want to do it this year. Every year I say I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Isn't it dangerous? Well, an outfitter comes over there and runs it just in October every year. An outfitter comes. Like in a big, one of those tubes? What are you talking about a tube well are you talking about running it in a kayak yeah damn isn't that really dangerous no no not especially not when the water's high isn't there like class four and five rapids well when the water's high it's not like what makes rapids the most dangerous are rocks and when water's really high it's above the dangerous rocks you see i'm saying but it's a fast fun run it's still big water but won't the rocks
Starting point is 00:03:30 still be there you can get literally ripped apart by a tide strong enough like a rip what do you what do you call them rivers i thought the rocks though they'll still be there they'll just be under the water so you still get hit by them not if you're you're not in the water what we're forgetting is tanya's a seasoned pro oh right i forgot in october there were a ton of kayakers over there just this past weekend but it's not there's not a ton of great water and it is more dangerous this time of year i wouldn't do it but in october an outfitter comes and you they rent you all the stuff and they like you might they might even got it let's say your life insurance policy for two dollars they're that confident i just always feel
Starting point is 00:04:14 like that makes it so that makes it more uh safe if there's a outfitter because they could get sued let me tell you something when i used to hire i want to say this if you want just in my time booking concerts you can get a million dollar insurance policy in 2015 for 600 dollars so basically your life's worth 600 dollars that'd take a flyer but they could have you sign a release form that releases all liability no that don't stand up in court listen need some lawyers on this anyway listen if an outfitter had any any percentage of deaths like if they had more than one percent deaths they couldn't run you know what i mean yeah but like how many people a day does like die in frito Frito-Lay warehouses, but nobody cares anymore?
Starting point is 00:05:08 Well, that's because they're workers. We really hate workers in this country. Okay, but, like, um... We love tourists. In America, we hate workers. We're obsessed with tourists. With tourists and customers. But even then, though, still, like, people still get, you know, poisoned by, poisoned by like water and stuff but nobody cares
Starting point is 00:05:27 so you're saying it don't nobody cares about rafters nine but we would at least hear about it i mean it's probably low on the list of priorities but we would at least hear about it if there were a bunch of deaths in the rustle fork well it certainly would be bad for the 2022 Outfitter Run. But by 2024, everybody's going to forget about it. Y'all, Steve Kayak's over there three days a week. He has been for 50 fucking years. That's the point, though. He's been doing it for 50 fucking years. I'm a pussy.
Starting point is 00:05:58 I'm not. So you're telling me, do you know Sarah and Jonathan did it? And almost died, if you recall. No, they didn't. And I told them not to. I literally died if you recall. No, they did. And I told them not to. I literally told them not to. And they did anyway.
Starting point is 00:06:10 And now we're telling you. Don't do it. All right, all right. I like that. Don't you and Jonathan soon? I was like, yeah, and Sarah complained she couldn't walk for three weeks afterwards. Yeah, she did. It was bad. They should have done it.
Starting point is 00:06:20 And they're a little dingy. Well, I thought October was the time to do it. I mean, hundreds of kayakers flocked to the... Well, I thought that they flocked because it was so dangerous and insane. No, it's not that it's dangerous. It's just big, fun water. And so it looks dangerous,
Starting point is 00:06:35 but that doesn't... Big water isn't necessarily what makes a river... The danger. It isn't what creates the danger. It's just but one element. See, I've been taught by everything growing up that big water... Noah? Or you know in the ark bad news climate change moses split the water and then when they when they redid it back all the water came rushing back i'm charleston just
Starting point is 00:06:59 saying big water historically has failed a lot of even civilizations. I know. Well, listen, I'm not an expert, and big water is a component, of course. I'm not saying it's not. Are you in the pocket of big water? Oh, for God's sake. Yes. Yeah. Between my legs. Just let...
Starting point is 00:07:18 Okay. This is September. We're going to give it a month. It's literally just next month. We just don't want you to die. I'm going to... I'm not trying to be a stick in the mud. Especially not that way. Don't you think that would be
Starting point is 00:07:30 a fun way to go out though? That would be one of the worst. Drowning? Fun way to go out would be taking one to the back of the head while you're execution style. Eating pussy. You don't know. You get smothered. Jealous husband shoots you in the back of my head while eating pussy that would be an ideal way to go
Starting point is 00:07:51 all right i'm gonna do more research between now and october on the russell fork in particular but i just i guess i'll just have blind faith if an outfitter is running it that is fine this i'm very shocked hearing this from you i feel like everything we know about america would disabuse us of the idea that anybody is looking out for us or that anybody has any incentive to not what i love most is the last institution tanya's hanging on to the white water i'm turning to extreme sports to alert me away from reality i mean i've just at this point i've done as much drugs as i can i think you've moved on i'm at the top tier layer of drugs that i can
Starting point is 00:08:35 take in without freaking out you're gonna be an extreme athlete your second act but i'm not very athletic i do have good hand-eye coordination i played softball and i do feel but i'm not very athletic. I do have good hand-eye coordination. I played softball, and I do feel, but I'm not fast, obviously. Are there any extreme sports that... And I love water. Are there any extreme sports that require good hand-eye coordination? Extreme sports? Like where just the most minor slip-up could result in death? Well, being in a large rapid i would say is that a
Starting point is 00:09:06 hand-eye coordination or just i just want to say something you tried to sell us on five minutes ago to be perfectly safe no i didn't say it was perfectly safe i just said i thought it was safe enough i mean i've done like over a hundred no like nothing's without its risks i've done over 200 miles with the colorado river now i feel like I could do a local river, surely. Does 200 miles on the Colorado River. Dies in the Russell Fork. That actually checks out. Dies at pool point.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Drowns in Russell. Over at the breaks, National Park. God damn it. All right, I'm going to think about it a little more. How was your trip, by the way? We've not even debriefed about that. Really? We didn't? Oh, yeah, y'all didn't even ask me about it. All right. I'm going to think about it a little more. How was your trip, by the way? Yeah, we've not even debriefed about that. Really? We didn't?
Starting point is 00:09:48 Oh, yeah. Y'all didn't even ask me about it. Are y'all still called the Wonders? Yeah. It's because we were the Whitewater Women, but it got gayer. So now we're the Whitewater Wonders. To throw off the, to make it more non-binary. Right. I see. Well, how did this i mean last time you when you were on the new with wonders that was a classic episode well how did
Starting point is 00:10:13 this one go it it was incredible i didn't want to leave i told you it's like heaven and the new that was in west virginia that was when we did a local this week we went back out west this is my third trip out west i've done the new the news great i love it but i've not done the colorado and the galley did you see me i heard the galley is like brutal it is i didn't do i don't think i did the hardest part of it i think i did the lower galley that's where i've heard like people been like yeah and half and drown and shit i don't know about all that but yes drown yes ripped in half i'm not the guy named ed tierney told me that he had seen people ripped in half
Starting point is 00:10:49 oh my god oh my god it was incredible i um you know on those big trips the guides do a lot of the work i mean we joked about it being glamping last time yeah yeah although i trips the guides do a lot of the work i mean we joked about it being glamping last time yeah yeah although i mean you still do a lot of work and it is fucking really dangerous but the guides like carry you around like a little baby and cook all your meals it's incredible yeah they carry you almost like you know they carry yeah they got platforms they just carries around it's incredible but like um it's just it's just like magic one because it was incredible but like um it's just it's just like magic one because it was six days there's no phone service nobody has any phones out no one we literally do not know what's happening
Starting point is 00:11:32 in the world completely living in the moment it's in a huge gorgeous canyon this was cataract canyon it was a six-day run in cataract canyon we had a layover day so we just partied a whole day and at the place we camped on our layover day there was like an eddy that um would take you in the opposite direction really slow of the river and so we just day drank a whole day and we're getting that eddy and float up and then catch the actual river current and come back down and we called it the fucking clear canyon tilt-a-whirl we were just or clear water the camp we were at was called clear water and we we were just we'd be like come get on the tilt-a-whirl bitch we're just chilling in the circle all day it was so magical um but yeah i
Starting point is 00:12:18 just loved it and i just like being on water is so healing and so fucking good and the world is so fucking bad i also like as soon as i go into colorado i got to go to a dispensary and get like you know good grade edibles and i was just huh i was just like literally as high and happy as imaginable so you six straight days you feel more comfortable on water now is it going is it going to become your um yeah you're like natural habitat it always has been i have a hot tub i mean every day i'm essentially a hot tub mermaid you're amphibious yeah i'm in water every day i can't take the land is i mean it's probably it's it is probably a good way to be because we are losing more and more land
Starting point is 00:13:07 we should probably get more and more comfortable on water i really did like i tried not to slip into apocalyptic thinking while i was out there because i'm like this is bliss like i don't i tried to like keep myself and we would tell each other it's like a whole bunch of like stay in the canyon you know stay in the canyon don't start talking about bullshit in the outside world it's just bullshit to stay here at least all we have six days you know the fantasy yeah all we have are these six days we can at least just be here with each other you know it's least we can do for each other and i tried not to slip into apocalyptic thinking but i definitely did think like whether it's floods or fire that gets us it would be smart to have a little you know
Starting point is 00:13:47 boat packed near a waterway yeah just to be ready to get gone well i don't want to be the apocalyptic guy but being on the colorado would have just because i lived in las vegas and like every day you're constantly reminded yep uh well our water supply is kind of yeah didn't they find like this was the first year that it was actually part of it was like bone dry or something yeah well no so i actually took out at i learned a bunch um about this i took we took out on our last day in like we went through lake powell and an article actually dropped the day we came off the water about Lake Powell and how. Where's Lake Powell at? So it's in, it's a lake they created basically in. In the river. In the river.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Which I guess that's where all lakes are created. In the river. But past where we took Al of the river, it's all like houseboats and shit. Yeah. But Lake Powell's drying up. And so it's returning to the natural river bed um and so a lot of like environmentalists even the fucking an uber driver was like them green ass tree huggers he went on about it fucking nut about the fact that they they want they want it to they
Starting point is 00:15:01 want the lake to go dry they want it to return to its original um river pattern i don't know all about it i don't understand i don't want to speak on things i don't no i know i do that somebody's gonna step up and say well actually yeah well and fine fine i you know i'm i don't know anything about anything don't i'm no expert on goddamn nothing but i just said the other day i said i've said more about that i know yeah i literally i've always said more about anything than i know because i never shut the fuck up okay but the so what the way the guides talked about it is that new rapids have come back that no one had ever gotten to ride in the last decades because it became a fucking lake so now we have these new rapids so i got to ride these new rapids that have been buried under a lake for however long were you the first were you one of the first maybe i don't know
Starting point is 00:15:52 tanya you're gonna be like the inverse or the reverse of uh you know like how they said that humans started with like some fish crawling out and think it'd be cool i'm going back you're going back to the wall yeah i'll evolve backwards i want to become a mermaid i mean i've always just like i mean i was the kid who didn't want to get out of the bath cried to get out of the bath and like i just i'm a trip i'm literally a triple water sign i don't know like i'm obsessed with water i cry all the time just like i just need hydration i just water is very important to me um and yeah it was just pure goddamn bliss all weekend and on the last night we always do a sexy dress up night and my crazy ass used the very limited space in my dry bag we each get one fucking dry bag i asked for two and they wouldn't give me an extra
Starting point is 00:16:38 one dry bag each and you have to fit your stupid fucking um sleeping bag in there so you have very little space in the dry bag uh-huh your girl went all the way down the colorado river just with these items that were just for the last night a floor length pink silk robe two different sets of lingerie and a pink cowboy hat just for the last night in a boat no hydration you don't carry water in your dry bag you don't no no this is just the dry bag just for my personal shit yeah yeah yeah we've got all these coolers and shit with water and food yeah that's why these ore boats are like goddamn it's like they have basements or something they're just packed so efficiently and again not to be apocalyptic but it's just really reassuring to me about my ability to survive honestly i've had every confidence in you since i saw that that uh what you call that
Starting point is 00:17:46 bug out bag you just keep by the door you've been ready at a moment's notice i got a baseball bat by my bed i got a go bag i'm fucking with these people i have no confidence in my ability to survive i mean i'm slow so i worry i mean i have two shotguns but nobody i don't really i'm not in like the guy that came and worked on my hot water heater he was like oh you afraid of boogers up here you're gonna get a booger with i said i am the fucking booger ain't nothing in my house worth shooting nobody over ain't gonna shoot nobody you know i ain't got nothing to value yeah well they're gonna take the fucking tv a laptop my boss owns i don't give a fuck i mean this house is full of fucking
Starting point is 00:18:23 crystals and herbs tar Tarot decks. Nobody ain't got enough fucking value. I got one knockoff Gucci bag. They're welcome to. Yeah. I mean, that's about the only thing I'd stick in a fucking safe. I'll get an Alibaba and get me another one. Yeah, hell.
Starting point is 00:18:38 But no, I just, I have felt better than I had in a really long time. I mean, y'all know that I had a terrible winter. And every time I do one of these Colorado trips, I say it changes my life every time. And this did again. It was just like. That's just the reset button you need. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Last time, I said, I think not the last trip, but the trip before that. Wasn't there like some sort of fire situation y'all were escaping? Yeah. One of our days on the river, we talked about it a bunch on this trip because it was so traumatic one of our days on the river it the wind was so bad we only made it five miles and like we're supposed to i mean we're on a time we're on a schedule to or like take out you know what i mean and we can't we only have a satellite phone for emergencies it's not like we can text somebody and be like hey we're gonna be
Starting point is 00:19:24 a day late or whatever and we only have a certain amount of food. It's not like we can text somebody and be like, hey, we're going to be a day late or whatever. And we only have a certain amount of food and water. Also, you can't just shit in the woods around there. Like, these are protected. This is a natural fucking park. We were going through Canyonlands National Park. And we shit in buckets and take it with us. They don't let you shit in the woods in national parks?
Starting point is 00:19:42 No, no. I mean, not this one. This is very protected. I mean, we saw petroglyphs pictographs like there's like this is remnants of lots of ancient civilizations right but they don't let the civilizations live there they're like you can't shit here but the natives can't live here they're not shitting here either which when i did gates of ledor the whole left i can't remember if it was left or right but one whole side of the bank of
Starting point is 00:20:05 that river is native lands and we couldn't even camp over there we couldn't even step foot over there um what kind of critters did you say not a ton but um bighorn sheep um a lot of herons there were a couple rabbits one time that's a little unsampling yeah but there weren't there wasn't a ton of deer the witch oh rabbits rabbits freak me they're my neighborhood's covered in rabbits and you can't take and i'm like out at night and when they'll just like stand there and look at you and just like do that little well bighorn sheep look like demonic uh goats yeah i mean a bighorn sheep looks like a goat i mean if i if people didn't tell me that's a bighorn sheep i would think it was some gnarly ass goat yeah like
Starting point is 00:20:50 they're wild looking and it's just crazy they scale a straight up fucking canyon just straight up i just i'd love to see the feet on these fuckers right they just yeah just run straight up because like somebody will spot one and be like sheep sheep and we'll like try to like you know yell down the boat so everybody can see it um but by the time my dumb ass i'm like i've missed it that motherfucker's moving like that straight up a goddamn canyon god it's wild but we saw um several granaries is what they called them but like places where um native people had like hid and stored their grains. Yeah. That's crazy. It's just, it's
Starting point is 00:21:30 Well, I saw mounds recently. Oh yeah, how'd that go? Is that the big serpent one in Ohio? Yeah. Yeah, I've been there. It's pretty cool. Where is the serpent mound that you said on the show the other day? Like Chillicothe? Yeah, it's like an hour or 45, it's like 45 minutes or an hour from Chillicothe. Yeah. South of Chillicothe. Davina lives around there. It's like an hour, 45. It's like 45 minutes or an hour from Chillicothe.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Yeah. South of Chillicothe. Davina lives around there. Yeah. West Union. Yeah. Ohio. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:57 So you're rebranding as an extreme sportsman. It's not a rebrand. It's not a rebrand. You've always been a extreme sportsman. No, no, no. You've been an extreme sportsman, not told us. This whole time? Not water. You're like snowboarding? You all know I'm obsessed with water. I love to swim. What are even extreme sports we're not told this whole time not water snowboarding you
Starting point is 00:22:06 all know i'm obsessed with water i love to swim what are the extreme sports snowboarding skateboarding there's no way i could stand on a skateboard are you getting into surfing come on that's gotta be surfing look at me i'm so top heavy you guys like there's just no way like i just jonah hill's gotten into surfing and he's top. Me and him are built exactly on the same line. I do not have a great center of gravity, I'll tell you that. I just like,
Starting point is 00:22:34 it's just so, I felt so lucky to be out there. You've had a second life as an extreme sports woman. I did my first trip Gates of Lador in 2015. That was my first. That was my first trip Gates of Lador in 2015 That was my first That was my first rafting trip I went out west and I missed my flight and everything
Starting point is 00:22:50 It's a god damn miracle I got out there Here we go We've got base jumping We've got bungee jumping I'm afraid of heights Skydiving Surfing, rafting, rock climbing So rafting is considered an extreme sport
Starting point is 00:23:04 I guess so. It's in the Olympics. I didn't know that until this year. Scuba diving. Ice climbing. There's water involved in ice climbing. Chaos magic. That's my sweet spot.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Chaos magic. Calculus. I had such a good time. And afterwards, we went to Mesa Verde I sent you a picture of New Mexico you went to the four corners it's funny the funny thing about the four corners
Starting point is 00:23:33 growing up I was like oh this is a big thing and I got to visit it one time we had a swim meet in Farmington and we went to the four corners and I was like wow this is incredible and then the older I got I was like it's just a line like people drew two lines and then just made it uh yeah yeah well there's a pinnacle in Bell County and if you get to go up to the pinnacle um it's in Cumberland Gap State Park yeah you can see where I grew up you can see four or five states you can see like
Starting point is 00:24:03 Tennessee, Virginia, Kentucky and and maybe even North Carolina. Right. All from the pinnacle. Yeah. But what was so cool, I mean, Mesa Verde was all the- You got to see Mesa Verde? Yeah, dude. Dog, I went to Mesa Verde a couple years ago.
Starting point is 00:24:20 The cliff dwellings? The cliff dwellings was fucking crazy. Fucked me up. Yeah. What I could not understand, so there's all this lore. We should do a Fucked me up. Yeah. What I could not understand. So there's like all this lore. We should do a whole episode about this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:28 I don't know. I'm down. I don't know. You noticed our turn lately. We're digging into the weird. That's all we got. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:37 And trying to, let's see, I've got a running list of things. Now I don't even put lists together of things to talk about. I put lists together of things not to talk about amazing so yeah we got on the list jason is you just start bleeping start me for the while but basically two things one the cliff dwellings like one like why did they choose to build i mean they had literal palaces with 150 fucking rooms carved into the side of a cliff. Why? I think it's, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Do you think the water was up that high? No, I think it's probably, it offers you a lot of shelter, for one. But didn't they also, it's been five years since i was there didn't they also use though the top of the cliffs to run um uh cattle and buffalo off the side so they would fall and die and then they could collect the meat and the bones and everything oh i must have missed that placard i think that the whole area because like being there there's several different cliff dwellings there's ones that are close to the canyon floor and then over time they moved up into the canyon i mean i'm sure it was
Starting point is 00:25:50 like safety there's like a handful of yeah but they just really don't know they've done a lot of guessing what i also didn't realize so mesa verde is a national park but it is a world heritage site it's pretty it's an internationally protected place is it like yeah i'm imagining like spiritual very like i i almost wasn't even comfortable being there. I was like, this... I mean, and I feel like this in a lot of state parks, a lot of national parks. Our national parks are really incredible
Starting point is 00:26:13 and we don't belong there. It just was like... Is it like... Same with Serpent Man. Are they like... No, they're not caves. I'm imagining like Petra and Jordan. No, it's... Yeah, they're not caves. They carved imagining like Petra and Jordan. No, it's... Yeah, they're not caves.
Starting point is 00:26:26 They carved it out of the side of these cliffs. You'll just have to Google it and look at it. I mean, it's incredible. But the other crazy thing is that they have no evidence. There's no evidence that we have been able to find on why or how they left. There's no bones. There's no like mass bones. There's no showing that they had a
Starting point is 00:26:46 mass like you know like a lot of civilizations that are gone there's all this evidence that they had a plague and all died or genocide or genocide or yeah there's lots of well like there's either evidence or documentation of what happened there's no evidence documentation of what happened to these people and it's assumed that they moved but there's no evidence of where they went how they like yeah there's just like a lot of questions they just dipped down and there's a lot of of course um conspiracy theories about aliens yeah i mean um the same thing i mean because if you think of the mounds and then have you heard of the nasca lines I might be saying that wrong Nazca Nazca lines in Peru they're these massive earthworks that um if you you can only tell like from really high up in the
Starting point is 00:27:33 air but it um portrays a monkey it's a massive monkey it's even I think it's bigger than serpent mound um but it does raise the question of like, they never got to see, you know, this. So who did? I don't know. Or what did? Right. Yeah. What was the point here?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Yeah. I mean, granted, it was obviously, it was for the deities. It was for their deities. But it isn't. I always do find that interesting. Especially when Serpent Mound is considered because, and a lot of earthworks in general in Ohio and Wisconsin, they were, and in like, yeah, like in the upper Midwest, they were made on the sides of hills to give them the appearance of motion. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:28:21 Like to look like it was going up. Serpent Mound itself was built on the side of a crater yeah like 250 million years ago an asteroid struck the earth right there on the side of it is where they built Serpent Mound and and so it is an interesting thing
Starting point is 00:28:37 especially when like western supremacists or white supremacists are like they didn't have like this amazing like painting tradition or whatever that they had in Europe, like in the Renaissance and stuff. And it's like, well, I mean,
Starting point is 00:28:51 this is pretty incredible in its own right. They built these huge, you know, earthworks that had an aesthetic. You could tell that there was an aesthetic. The Incas could have painted the Sistine Chapel, but the Italians could not have did the giant monkey oh my god they carved palaces out of the side of fucking yeah that's that's insane yeah because that that's what's really crazy about the cliff dwellings yeah it's they didn't build them out of the cliffs they built into into the cliffs yeah
Starting point is 00:29:21 the biggest one that they call the palace was 150 rooms yeah like you couldn't get close to it because it's a lot of it a lot of it's shut down because of covid like they're when there's when covid's not happening they'll give you guided tours through it but it's also on mesa verde but they also like there's all this wild i mean it's like the pyramids and shit there's all this really wild dimension shit around the windows all being exactly the same size and like one window to the other is like precisely exactly even and this kind of shit and there's one whole building that we got to like walk around and look at and all the all the writing about it all the placards around it had said that there's just like lots of disagreement among scholars about what that building in particular was even for
Starting point is 00:30:04 because it didn't make any sense. And they like the only like agreed upon thing is that it was probably built for celestial research. Wow. Interesting. They did that just to stargaze, baby. They've got a problem.
Starting point is 00:30:18 All we do is work. I'm just reading this from, I'm just reading this from American cowboy magazine about the cliff palace. Oh wow. I'm about reading this from American Cowboy magazine about the Cliff Palace. Oh, wow. I'm about to subscribe. This is from the episode that featured Thomas Hayden Church, who those wings heads in the audience will remember as Lowell from Wings. Tell us, what did American Cowboy magazine have to say about the Cliff Palace?
Starting point is 00:30:44 Just, you know, spurred by his findings at Mesa Verde, Richard Weatherill would continue searching for ancient dwellings and artifacts for years to come. Today, he's credited with discovering Keats Hill, too, a cliff dwelling now included in the Navajo National Monument. But it is a cliff palace for which he is remembered, the largest cliff dwelling in North America. I like it.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Good on American Cowboy Magazine for putting discovering in scare quotes. Yeah, yeah. Discovered. This thing that obviously no one had been here and built before. Yeah, yeah. It just happened to palm us.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah. I agree with you. It does feel weird to be there and wrong. I mean, well, you weren't even, we were talking about, I was telling Tom and Aaron, you know, the Adena is one of the civilizations that is rumored to have built maybe Serpent Mound. And I think they know that the Adina built Alligator Effigy Mound in Ohio.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Regardless, Adina is just a name that some white landowner in Ohio made up. Exactly. And even like, what everything says is much better. It's like the Pueblo people. That just means village. Just town people. Yeah. It's like ridiculous. isn't it a Spanish word just the locally local Spanish word for town people like I'm sure like granted like whoever was the Adina was not around by the time of European contact but I guarantee you there was a name for them in the traditions of the civilizations that were around at that time you know what i'm saying yeah like but we just don't listen or had driven them off the land or you know what i'm saying totally uh um what's what's kind of
Starting point is 00:32:40 wild well one thing about my severe day and then i there's another thing i want to say about the um river and the rapids. One about Mesa Verde is the coolest thing maybe. Well, I won't say that, but like something that was really wild
Starting point is 00:32:50 was being in the fire, the watchtower. And it's a 24 hour watchtower at the highest peak. You went to the top of the peak? Yeah. The peak was insane. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:33:02 And there's a watchtower up there that uses all this like like, really old technology. Like, it's just like, they've literally just got a bunch of maps and fucking doodle, like, little tools and shit up there. And it's a fire watch. They are the ones who, they're the first response, like, first emergency shit when they see any smoke anywhere and they watch lightning storms. Podcast studio, basically.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Yeah, they're just the front lines. Right. Yeah, they're just in there dicking around waiting for lightning to strike. And like any amount of smoke, they like call the coordinates in and all this shit. It's wild. And then they had all this information up like they had dry erase boards where they were just like, these are the states that you're seeing smoke in right now because it was fairly smoky. states that you're seeing smoke in right now because it was fairly smoky yeah and that fucking dry erase board said that the dixie fire which is in california had already burned a half a million
Starting point is 00:33:50 acres god damn i didn't realize that i have a friend that's fighting fires in washington state right now oh my god i was like brother be careful man it's fucking it's so wild man man. It was bad, bad, bad. Yeah. But back to the river. One, you know, it's like a super intergenerational group. The group was ages 19. Our full group, we had 22 people, 23 people counting the guides, including guides. Our ages ranged from 19 to 74. God damn.
Starting point is 00:34:27 It's pretty fucking wild and incredible. I mean, these are just like literal legends of the goddamn civil rights movement, truly. It's like pretty incredible. Just southern queer icons. Literally.
Starting point is 00:34:43 I'm a legend of the civil rights movement, but you never give me any. Terrence is a southern queer icons. Well, I'm a legend of the civil rights movement, but you never give me any. Darren says a southern queer icon. Why didn't he get the call out? Yeah, what the fuck? So you think it was... What? You really think that UFOs, they may have had contact with extraterrestrials? I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:35:00 I heard, though, someone told me that there's a new National Explorer show out about it. Or National... Geographic? Yeah, National Geographic show. About ancient aliens among the natives? Yeah, I heard that there's a new show about it that's good. So maybe I'll watch it. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:16 And then I'll know everything there is to know about it. I don't know. But the crazy shit about the rapids is that almost all the rapids are named after the first, like, basically the first white dude that survived that river and journaled about it. Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, T-R. Teddy. No, I can't remember his name.
Starting point is 00:35:39 I mean, it's like some Lewis and Clark shit. But there's a lot of really funny stories about why the rapids are named certain things. Like there's, there's like a 50 foot drop across three rapids. They call Satan's gut. And another one. I've got some of that going on right now. Highly relatable name. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:58 It's like a very short amount of space and time where you drop like each one. The total of the drop is 50 feet. It's pretty wild um it was great we flipped a couple boats in it but anyway it was fine um but i i didn't paddle no no we didn't do any little boats in those actually in the we didn't do any duckies we'd have to roll we'd have to like put all the boats on the big boat the little boats on the big boats to get through those but anyway who's the captain sort of of the wonders? Like, who's the one that's like the Steve Zissou character? Well, this is all around one person's birthday.
Starting point is 00:36:29 She's like a huge rafting. Like, she's rafted since college. And I actually just interviewed her. Her name's Pam. And she was the last episode of my Patreon pleasure podcast. Shout out Pam. My Hainty stuff. Shout out Pam.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Go subscribe to Tanya. Yeah. At patreon.com slash haintank t my closing out of season one can you believe i stuck it out for a whole year you know depressed as hell i always believed in you i won't say and stuck out a pleasure pot it's 12 episodes of joy anyway so we talk all about and she talks all about like how she feels like she's been called in her life to help adults play and experience joy and she feels like water is a big way to do that and anyway so they're all all of the trips are centered around her like she does all the invites and stuff and coordination only a virgo could do this tons of spreadsheets to figure it all out because it's a really remote place like we all have to fly into different places and drive
Starting point is 00:37:24 like we're renting cars we're all trying to get to each other i mean it's wild um and it's just pretty crazy that we all just find each other we all just end up in the same place like 20 of us i mean it's always crazy to me but i don't do that much like big group travel so it's always like holy shit we all just made it here somehow in a pandemic how do we do this um but anyway there's a head guide and our head we've had the same head guide in out of because we use the same outfitter on the colorado on the colorado river we've had her every time she's been going with them since for 26 years wow brenda shout out to brenda she's a real one shout out brenda um so she's just incredible um but yeah 1974 pretty rad that's crazy what i was
Starting point is 00:38:09 gonna say about this i can't remember the dude's name but um in one of the rapids in the door fucking insane he they had wooden boats i mean they were going down with literally wooden boats there in one of the rapids that he ended up calling like hell for certain or something i don't even remember the whole their entire boats shattered like hit a rock and just shattered and they had to camp there for months until they could get enough trees down in a canyon and build a new fucking boat we just ain't built for shit no no can you imagine but in his journals what's the funniest part is that that day that's when he found out his whole he this was like supposed to be an alcohol drug-free trip i mean i mean this was in like the early 1900s or 18 i can't remember i don't even know my dates are so my history is bad
Starting point is 00:38:56 but uh the day the boat shattered is when he found out his entire crew was drunk the whole time because he found out they they their huge barrel of whiskey was emerged and they were trying to save a barrel of whiskey just a bunch of guys there i'm scratching my head out here. They're literally like trying to rescue a fucking barrel of whiskey. My goddamn journals would be like Captain's Log Day 57. Dealing with something the locals call crotch rot. Basically, my birds are going to fall off. I'm out here trying to rebuild this boat while these street toughs over here trying to get and cop a damn buzz. But yeah, he's like he found out his whole crew were drugs that day.
Starting point is 00:39:54 He's like, I didn't find a barrel of whiskey. I mean, I couldn't handle it. I've had a tummy ache all day today. And I'm just in the comfort of my own home. Paris, you've had a tummy ache for six years. Imagine the wild. You've had a tummy ache since I met you. Yeah comfort of my own home. Terrence, you've had a tummy ache for six years. Imagine the wild. You've had a tummy ache since I met you. Yeah, it's not good.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I think it was with Sarah or something. We were talking about you and food. And they said, Terrence don't eat nothing. I said, he can't. He's got two sins and a belly. Terrence eats for survival. Terrence eats like spelt millet. Terrence only eats the calories he has to to live. Terrence only eats the
Starting point is 00:40:30 raw grains mentioned in the scriptures. Terrence can't eat. He's got too sensitive of a belly. It's true. Nothing likes what's in there. No. No, it's bad. Everything hits your belly and goes apeshit. It's wild.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Just punching one out. I'm just too high strung to live. He's too high strung to process a goddamn carrot. I'm too high strung to process. I used to get on my mom all the time about staying worried, and I've become her, essentially. I just worry about every goddamn thing coming and going. It is wild to grow up and realize that people like my dad we used to say he had nerves you know it was like we talked about it
Starting point is 00:41:11 like his nerve he had bad nerves he had nerve peel and now it's like oh uh anxiety runs in my family and we never spoke about it and just yeah that was just what it was called now you know it's everybody had an anxiety disorder yeah well yeah i'm just also soft as hell, though. You know, like, I'm realizing, like, you know, I've not had the hardest life by any means. Relatively pretty easily. But the hard times I have had have affected me greatly. Just about took you out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:39 So it's like, but people have had it so much harder and they're so much more, so much stronger. Every time I have a bad day, it's awful because it's like you have a really shitty day and on and then you'll just spiral about how it wasn't actually that bad, but it did so much mental damage. It's like, so it's just double guilt of like, oh, I had a terrible day. It probably wasn't even that bad. I have no one. it probably wasn't even that bad i have no one i i always guilt myself out of feeling like i actually deserve to pity or just to heal and like talk myself out of feeling like i went
Starting point is 00:42:12 through trauma and it's always be telling myself because no one's relying on me for life i don't have children because it's like i guess just that's a good that is a good feeling that's my oh it's so great i mean my i'd like obviously my animals rely on me and which they're pretty independent i've worked out some pretty independent plants and animals in my house i got about 40 plants and i can leave them for about two weeks and they're okay yeah i left i accidentally left the cat out along a long weekend with no food and water because i thought she was in the house but she comes and goes in and out of the house like yours but she don't have a window i have to let her in and out and while i was loading the car i guess she took off and i didn't know i come back like four
Starting point is 00:42:48 days later and is it missing me no she was fine i hadn't left her out no food or water but she i think i told you all she came in ate a bunch and then left for another few hours it's like she had to go end another life she'd started without me yeah i thought back somewhere we had some laughs but uh i gotta go back home so i do anyway just like even on my worst days i'm not really letting anybody else down that bad because no one relies on me no children are relying on me i didn't mean to drag us into a bad place but it is sucks no you're right i feel like you can't even well it's because like growing up anytime you'd be like, I mean, it's like growing up anytime that you would talk about how things were suboptimal,
Starting point is 00:43:33 your mom would be like, stop having a pity party. Oh, yeah. Constantly just like, buck up, you little bitch. Just like. And I was. I mean. I was such a whiny little bitch too. I mean, I still am.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Oh, that's all I do is complain. My mom lived an incredibly hard life. And just nothing that I could come to her with the troubles would she sympathize with. No, no. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, going through my breakup this winter. I went through, last fall, a close friend died. Three weeks later, i had a bad falling
Starting point is 00:44:05 out with my sister still ain't talking to her my other sister and then uh went through a bad breakup all in like six weeks time all this happened like three horrible things happened to me and i was just out like i mean i was as sad as i've ever been in my life and my mom literally looked at me she said oh you're stronger nis get the fuck over it i mean she looked at me and she said, oh, you're stronger, Nia. Get the fuck over it. She looked at me. She's like, you're still sad. Because she'd call me and be like, hey, what are you doing? Little bitch. She'd literally be like, hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:44:31 And I'm like, I got out of bed. Little bitch. And she said, why? What's wrong? I was like, well, mom, do I need to recap for you the hell I'm living through? She said, hey, that was five days ago. Yeah, I was like, god damn, that was a month ago. You still crying over that
Starting point is 00:44:45 pussy you can't let people have this kind of control over your life and I was like what do you think you monster I was like
Starting point is 00:44:52 god damn mom finally around Christmas oh whoa whoa somebody had a little too much kibble whoa
Starting point is 00:45:00 okay people be putting on a show here holy fuck yeah talk about bad times poopy butt just set it up the front way whoa she got a little worked up she she just gets a little worked up when people are some more damn pb in the house god damn it looks nasty cats are bad to throw shit up. I mean, uh... Amazing gag reflex, though, to have it up. I guess I'll clean that up later. They all seem totally unfazed by it, too.
Starting point is 00:45:30 She seems pretty fazed. Wow. PB, you okay? You okay, bub? If I don't catch the cat puke before the dog does, the dog eats it. Are you okay? You all right, PB? See, she looks fine.
Starting point is 00:45:43 She's already... She's wagging her tail yeah she's fine yeah and all up you can just she's like uh did y'all see that damn i'm embarrassed anyway no i love sheila she finally around christmas mom said all right it seems like you've took this pretty seriously it's like three months of me just being an absolute shamble. She finally was like, I just hate you. Going through it.
Starting point is 00:46:10 And you told me to snap out of it about ten times to see if I could get over it. My mom said, well, you know, have you ever considered praying about it? God. I said, you know, I guess I didn't consider petitioning the God of heaven and earth that should be my first move i'm looking at other extreme sports we've got um parkour
Starting point is 00:46:35 that's considered an extreme that caught that caught some yeah that caught some some traction this year that got popular people were really into parkour for a while. Well, it's COVID safe. There's wakeboarding, canyoning, something called zorbing. It's a fun activity every child can practice. The sport is the act of rolling down a hill
Starting point is 00:46:57 in a giant inflatable ball. I don't think I'd put my child in a giant ball. Every kid can enjoy this. Wait, okay. So, but it's considered an extreme sport? Yeah. Did you just Google extreme sports? I did, yes.
Starting point is 00:47:10 List of extreme sports. Hey, well, I've took up rafting. You all got to pick one each. Oh, God. Extreme. I'll probably do that ball thing. That sounds cool. Zorbing.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Most of COVID, you've wanted to be in a ball. I like being in a ball thing. That sounds cool. Zorbing? Zorbing. Most of COVID, you've wanted to be in a ball. I like being in a ball. Being a bubble boy. I like the, I don't think I would ever do this, but I do like when they put the GoPro cameras on the helmets and they get in the wingsuits and jump off of the mountain. Have y'all ever watched that? And then they like. Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Ain't it parasailing or something? They call it wingsuit flying. Oh, wait. You basically become like a flying squirrel. They're in a suit. They're in a suit. Yeah, basically a flying squirrel, yes. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Like our man that we did that first live show. I think he was the pioneer of that, and it didn't really pan out, so... Oh, yeah. When y'all had... Franz Reichelt. When y'all showed a literal snuff film at a live show. This is how, like... Yeah, I didn't even perceive it as a snuff film.
Starting point is 00:48:12 That's how, like, completely detached, or I guess... Or maybe just acculturated or naturalized it. People were very nice about it. They were like, that was fun, but we'll trigger warning next i was like what they literally just post put up a oh yeah let's do a live show world's put up early 20th century like somebody jumping off a building flattened out at the bottom well it's
Starting point is 00:48:38 i mean it's so cartoonish that i didn't think that anybody would like you all essentially showed Midsommar just an original Midsommar moment honestly though that scene in Midsommar is more traumatic than this like the way it's filmed like how shocking it is like
Starting point is 00:48:59 yeah right the man really died in this video yeah fair point anyway uh franz left a three foot crater in the earth so these guys could fly did he really create a crater what do you know oh my god i thought he did i thought he left oh he did yeah you're right it was like an indentation it wasn't like a yeah not like a asteroid not big enough to You know put serpent mount On the side of it
Starting point is 00:49:26 But Wow Um No Franz Reichelt A hero honestly I think he's pretty tight Um That's just me
Starting point is 00:49:36 I have a couple other stories For you guys But I don't want to hog All the Screen time here Hog away What else do we got going on we got to record another episode after this yeah well i'll let y'all pick yeah maybe we'll save one for the next episode
Starting point is 00:49:50 but i'll let you pick for this one you i've got a tinder story okay and a local festival tale let's do let's do local festival now i'm tender for... Yeah, for the primo. Okay. Is this one the free episode? I don't know. I'm not the boss. I ain't in charge around here. Neither am I, which leaves only one person left.
Starting point is 00:50:18 PB's our manager. Let's go with the local festival. I like a little local flavor. Okay, well, I have been to most of the local. Letcher County, maybe Tom can give us a little background on why this is. But Letcher County, which is one of 120 counties in Kentucky, is so segregated and full of, like, extreme localism that they have. Extreme sportsmen.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Letcher County has like six separate community festivals every summer. Every single little community has its own festival. We've got Isom Days, Neon Days, Jenkins Days, Mountain Heritage. That's the big one in the middle of the White
Starting point is 00:51:04 River. That's the coup de grace Blackie Days I think there's one more Let's see I think that's it There might be another one Well I've been to Blackie Days I love the Awesome Rodeo
Starting point is 00:51:22 I've been to many Awesome Rodeos Which is coming up this weekend I'm going to be out of town though Nothing holds a flame to the Lee County Fair and Rodeo In Lee County, New Mexico In Lovington As a new reader of American Cowboy Magazine
Starting point is 00:51:39 I hope to see that one New subscriber I fucking love a rodeo It's just glorious anyway been to awesome days been to blackie days of course been to mountain heritage um and been to neon days because i have friends up neon so i'd go to neon days i wouldn't tell it but yeah they do a duck race i've even gambled in the duck race bought me several ducks screamed because they drop them in at one point of the oh yeah they race to the
Starting point is 00:52:05 end anyway yeah but i had never been to jenkins days for some reason and it was this past weekend and we before you do before you go there there's only two other things i know about jenkins days i've never been one was the year gary stewart played it and flipped his corvette he was so drunk incredible he died at jenkins they didn't die but he they said he flipped and then he hopped One was the year Gary Stewart played it and flipped his Corvette. He was so drunk. Incredible. He died at Jenkins. No, he didn't die, but they said he flipped it, and then he hopped out of there like,
Starting point is 00:52:31 that was crazy. And then went and jumped on stage. He was fine. Had a funnel kick. Didn't have a scratch on him. And then the other one was when a rogue cop, which I guess in a way they're all rogues, pulled a shotgun on the county attorney up there and made him get on his knees.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Oh, my God. In the middle of Jenkins Day in front of everybody. Yeah. The guy was like, don't you know who I am? The guy did not care. Well, essentially the same thing happened to me at this Jenkins Day this past weekend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:01 And I had to pull a don't you know who I am. Don't you know who i am don't you know god damn it no i would have been in russell fork all day swimming and on the way back through i was like i think if we double mask and just creep into this crowd we could get out with a funnel cake yeah that's what i wanted was some like greasy food it's the best thing to get at a festival and of course had the dog's the best thing to get at a festival and of course had the dog was the only thing to get well covid and maybe some uh press weed yeah um so uh i changed clothes in the car so i look presentable i get ruby harnessed up and we're trotting through jenkins days and
Starting point is 00:53:44 all these kids are running up to ruby and petting her and talking about how beautiful she is. Also, I finally figured out what breed of dog Ruby is. What? What is she? Did you buy the 23andMe for pups? No, no. I feel like I've got several running bets on what kind of breed Ruby is. Okay, what's your top three?
Starting point is 00:54:04 She's got to be some kind of lab, right? I think she's a pit bull mix. No. Pit, lab, hound. She's got to be like boxer mix. I would say boxer has got to be there too. I got her at seven weeks old at the Cocke County Animal Shelter in Tennessee
Starting point is 00:54:18 because they thought she was a boxer and I wanted a boxer. She's got like boxer legs kind of. Yeah, and little boxer ears. But her nap is a little lab-ish little she definitely has a long snout like unlike a boxer she doesn't look like a boxer in fact she did as a puppy though before her like snout grew out she did look like a boxer puppy a little bit so i could see why they thought that anyway she's definitely not a boxer and people are always trying to guess what she is and i'm like i don't know she's just a
Starting point is 00:54:42 whatever like because you can't somebody called her a pointer dog one time yeah i can see that yeah yeah and she looks like she doesn't have a hound yeah she doesn't look she has a hound in her well that's what happened when we come out of russell ford there was this gaggle of redneck boys sitting there hanging out and they went ape shit over her they loved her they're like oh oh oh what kind of dog is that and i had a life jacket on her she'd been swimming all day she was looking so cute and they insisted that she was a blue tick hound and i was like i don't really know they thought she was a boxer but she always before i could even say she's obviously not a boxer she ain't no boxer you know they went crazy they just they loved her we're going on and on about her and so finally i was like i've got to figure out
Starting point is 00:55:22 what kind of dog she is and i started googling stuff and i had done this before but never come up with anything and i even had two house sitters one time that said that they searched the internet high and low and could not figure out what kind of dog she was and i was like she's kind of got a head like a boxer pit kind of thing but she's got the snout like a lab you know she's i don't know it's hard to she's got a lot of hound tendencies And like hound tendencies and ears in a way. This is all correct because what I have found out is she is a purebred redneck mountain cur. A mountain cur.
Starting point is 00:55:55 She's a fucking mountain cur, which is a dog bred only in Kentucky and Tennessee and redneck parts of Ohio. They've been considered official like like aca whatever registered dog since 1998 but there's been a redneck mountain cur association that has met of breeders that have met since the 50s wow she's a fucking purebred redneck not the most popular dog in the country i would imagine i did look this up recently like the most popular breed in america you probably guess golden retriever it's like so vanilla i do like golden retrievers but yeah i mean i'll show you pictures like i was like oh this is her this is 100 her she's a fucking mountain cur she and
Starting point is 00:56:38 stuff i looked up on a mountain curves was so funny you can tell the ones that have been written by just like national animal people who are just like this is just a literal redneck dog and people who are here who are writing about it like called it a national the mountain cur a national treasure like a uniquely american dog yeah i've loved it but she's a mountain cur i'm just like oh my she God. She looks exactly like that. That's 100% her. My uncle had one named Joe, and whenever he would leave, everybody would always be afraid to go feed it
Starting point is 00:57:12 because Joe had some temperamental territorial problems. And he'd put them off on his dog. Well, you just go up there and you have to be real careful because you don't want to let Joe know you're up there. Because if he does even yeah wait so what happened to jenkins days okay so anyway that's the day that i was like i have to figure out what kind of dog she is because i just kind of been like she's just a mutt she's just too she's got too much mixed up to know but no she's purebred redneck honey through and through
Starting point is 00:57:42 interesting love it so much um but she's and and she could be a water dog like she's a great swimmer she has webbed paws she was a terrific swimmer just like immediately took to the water really oh yeah she swam all the way up to pull point from ratliff hole huh yeah that's quite a yeah yeah me and her swam the river together this past weekend it was awesome she never cried never whined one time at home. She whines and cries all the goddamn time. That's because she wants that outdoor activity. Yeah, she's got the whole fucking, I don't walk her in the yard unless I leave.
Starting point is 00:58:13 She can run the hills all day long, her and Sassy both. They just want to whine and cry up my ass. So what happened at Jenkins' days? Okay, so everybody's falling in over Ruby, of of course because they probably know she's a national treasure mountain yeah they're drinking days and all these kids are talking about oh my god um and this man this big fucking ugly doe bitch starts walking up to me this old guy fumbling around his fucking wallet fumbling around with his wallet and he's like and i have a mask on no one else does.
Starting point is 00:58:45 And he's getting so close to me that I'm about to tell him to back the fuck up. Six feet, please. Back up. Get away from me. Why are you walking toward me so quickly? Fumbling around with your wallet. I'm like,
Starting point is 00:58:56 it's like, who is this motherfucker? Finally, he gets a bombing about the time I'm telling him to back up. He said, ain't you once got that paint, paint, paint tea,
Starting point is 00:59:06 paint tea, Patreon. Here's my five for the month let me see them titties i was gonna tell him it's six dollars motherfucker back up but he whips out of his wallet a goddamn stupid ass looking constable badge that's why he was fumbled around in his fucking wallet for his ounce of dignity this goddamn constable badge i looked at it and i just looked at him like what i could get one of those made too constable is like the lowest of the legit cops has a woody from toy story badge that looks more legit than his he said maybe you gotta take that dog out of here i said why i don't understand why he had to trot out his bona fides to ask you to like
Starting point is 00:59:49 trotted out a cop badge well that just makes me not want to do it yeah and i said why it's all he's got to hold on to probably behind me like okay his life is completely meaningless in every other aspect i mean i all i cared was all i wanted was a fucking funnel cake. But now, I've got something to prove to this dumb dick. And the kids, the future. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the best part. He says this,
Starting point is 01:00:11 and right after he tells me that, I said, why? He said, well, you know, there's a sign posted. I said, I didn't see no sign. And I didn't see no sign until I left. I did see it on the way out. Well, yeah, well, fuck you.
Starting point is 01:00:22 I've said more than I know about it. Yeah, he said, said well we're afraid about somebody about that time a kid comes up petting her and she's licking that kid and the kid's like your dog's so beautiful i said well tell him because he's kicking her out but don't you know it's a purebred mountain car they're sweet this is ruby turner sir i don't know what your fucking problem constable is it constable are you a magistrate what the fuck's wrong with you but this kid is like oh my god it's so cute i said well tell him because he's kicking her out and literally he was like i'm sorry guys i don't want i'm just a bearer
Starting point is 01:00:55 of bad news like he was such a billy badass until the kids start guilting him and he's like i'm sorry i know i was like she's licking these children right now i can't just get a fucking funnel cake i was like literally all i want is a funnel cake he said well you'll just have to take her out and get it um so your girl spent five minutes at jenkins days and got kicked the fuck out yeah that's amazing i mean it's your funnel cake or not no they wouldn't let me get it kim was like oh i'll just take her out i said no i ain't giving you all my money i'm going to the mexican restaurant getting a margarita and that's what i did because they've built a whole new deck out front and they don't care to have dogs out there they're wonderful there's a speaker piece about the jenkins cops dude you got to read that one
Starting point is 01:01:36 oh they're awful um they're so notoriously bad and have always been bad because you know i've been researching the unite stuff and have been you know looking over years and years of speak your pieces um and it's like amazing how even back in the 90s and early 2000s people always hated the jenkins cops yeah they always sucked well before tom reads this did you see recently in the paper they let that couple off that killed that homeless guy in jenkins that was squatting in their house their empty house uh they let them off free wow not that they were gonna get any justice served whatever but like they literally killed they had premeditated they premeditated sat they hunted this man they knew he was coming back
Starting point is 01:02:20 because he was squatting their empty house they went to mow the fucking grass in an empty fucking house a man was squatting they shot him like three or four times as soon as he come through the door literally in the back he tried to run away and they just let him off jesus that's so bad and that fucked it was on the cover of the paper like a few couple weeks ago did you find it tom yeah that's uh someone wanted to know about the jenkins police department we are a stopping point for the whitesburg police department we hire them educate them and send them on to whitesburg we should do just like pound virginia did and get rid of our police department
Starting point is 01:02:59 not a bad idea great idea is this their threat? We'll just pack up and leave. Please. Please. Get the fuck out of here. They are sore on the backs of us taxpayers. Thank you. Talking about Weisberg Police, sir. No, probably Jenkins.
Starting point is 01:03:13 Jenkins cops. But maybe police in general. I don't know. They are. My wife voted for Donald John Trump and still believes he got cheated out of the election. I'm going to take her off my checking account and quit paying her car note. I'm through with her. She can go live in Mar-a-Lago with Trump. I've just been waiting for all these lawyers to come on the TV saying,
Starting point is 01:03:40 if you have the COVID-19 vaccine, call me. You'll see people running to get vaccinated then. That was an interesting thing because I thought where they were going with that was people are going to, this vaccine is going to be like mesothelioma or asbestos or whatever. And so they're going to be like, but like where they were at. Wire mesh. Yeah, but what they were actually saying is that like that is going to be the case, but it's going to be like people jumping in front of cars like they're going to be getting vaccinated.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Slipping jammies. Everybody's getting vaccines. Everybody's going to get vaccinated so they can get a class action. Oh, my God. Can you imagine how bizarre if there are class action lawsuits against these vaccines while the pandemic rains on? Everything is so fucked up and bizarre. I wouldn't rule it out at this point oh my god who the fuck knows i had a buddy brian that did some time in uh over manchester uh for his involvement while being an
Starting point is 01:04:38 irs agent and having some dealings with russian russian mob people that check counting scheme did two years and the pen for it and he said that you know like you see these like sokolov and sokolov and i mean i don't know if it's sokolov and sokolov i shouldn't say that but like those type well those type late night uh did you take this drug between september 76 and 92 he said that a lot of those law firms are privy to FDA approvals before they are handed down. And there's pots of money, apparently. I don't know if this is true or not. So let me just say this up top.
Starting point is 01:05:18 I've put an asterisk beside this claim. We should just put that asterisk on our website or whatever. Just like everything we say, dude. It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter. Joke's on you, dummy. You're listening to three fucking repubrates out of Legend County. Well, someone said
Starting point is 01:05:35 that. They were like, you say that you just jaw with your friends, but this causes real harm. Okay, well, we're recording in a moldy cabin surrounded by cat ball pits but so eat my asshole how about that and i have a tummy ache and terence got ibs literally down to his toenails so basically he says that like these law firms like those like kind of like got mesothelioma or whatever are aware of these things and are aware that the government sets aside like huge pots of money for like
Starting point is 01:06:11 because they know there will be a certain amount of deaths or like people get fucked up from and stuff and they know that and that's why they fish for these people that like do that like it's like like apparently the government already knows like what things by it. I don't know if this is just jailhouse talk, but isn't Clay County like a white-collar prison mostly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it stands to reason those people might know about that. Anyway, just another little conspiracy I'm peddling because apparently I'm peddling those now.
Starting point is 01:06:41 To the meth head. Oh, my God. The one and only. You think you're real smart by blowing up your mother's house you think you're fooling everybody but you're not i'd say uh they they're under no illusions about who they're fooling uh the rulers in great britain are calling biden's move in afghanistan imbecilic. One officer there who fought in Afghanistan said Biden should be court-martialed. The only reason I circled that one
Starting point is 01:07:12 is because, like, can you court-martial a president? It's like, he is the commander-in-chief, I guess. What does court-martialing actually mean? Is it like serving a warrant? What if you were not impeached but court-martialed as the commander of the Chief of Armed Forces? You can't handle
Starting point is 01:07:28 the truth. No, I'm going to run up to a citizen's arrest. I'm buying it. What if you were court-martialed and thrown in a military prison, but you weren't impeached, so you were still in office? You're still president, yeah. But you're in prison, in military prison. Quantico. I guess they would call that a junta, I guess.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Many judge executives in eastern Kentucky have ran supreme from jail. That's true. And walking tall John Hall tried to this past time. Clay County and Knott County were ran from jail for years. Donnie Newsome. He was signing checks in visitation. I like how smart the Republicans are. They're against the COVID-19 vaccine shop.
Starting point is 01:08:07 They'll go in these hollers and get a shot from their dope-head neighbors to put in their veins. That is what you call stupidity. Throw it in the middle. There you go. Okay. They will love you all the way to the bank, but not coming back. I want to comment on Joe Biden and the mess he has made in afghanistan why on earth isn't that man thrown out of office he needs thrown out by the seat of his pants along
Starting point is 01:08:33 with every general around him thank you which are probably still all of trump's generals probably i don't know but maybe to the caller who continues to attack me over his hatred of what's called wokeism. Is this the math ad? As for your God-given freedoms, they end where my freedoms start, pal. You can believe anything you want as long as you keep out of my face and out of my life. Your church doesn't run things in this country, buddy. And the best advice I can give you is to learn to live with that. There's not a penny's worth of difference between people like you and the damn Taliban.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Oh, my God. I love that. Not a penny's worth. Oh, boy. Last one here. Just a little local interest. As a TVS cable subscriber in Wattsburg, I'm beyond peeved by the cable company's continued refusal to bring us Cincinnati Reds baseball. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:09:30 If the Mount Neagle would go through its archives, they'd find that the main reason the Whitesburg City Council granted the CATV franchise to TVS in the first place was because a TVS has pledged to carry Reds baseball in the company. They replaced would not. Are you kidding me? It is beyond disgusting. And we can't get access to our favorite baseball team on the same cable that finds room for disgusting stations such as OAN and Newsmax. Oh, my God. The Whitesburg City Council needs to address this matter immediately.
Starting point is 01:10:02 I would also love to hear an answer from my comment from someone at TVS Cable. It's called a special call meeting of Whitesburg City Council because of the Cincinnati Reds. Are they having a good – did they just have a good season? I doubt it. We made the playoffs. Did we? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:10:22 Well, last season. I said I was going to follow baseball this year, and then I didn't. I did go to a game, though. One minor league. Well, you guys want to switch it over to the next episode now? I need a pee break. All right, I need a drink, too. All right, thanks for listening, everybody.
Starting point is 01:10:44 I don't know where this will be but If it's on the main feed Check out the Patreon Tell a friend to tell a friend Alright well we'll see you next time

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