Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 227: Just Give Me A Second
Episode Date: December 2, 2021This week we discuss signing up for healthcare, the Supreme Court, and the ongoing saga of the Cuomo brothers Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty...
Transcript
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God, I'd hate to think about it.
The Weitzberg Walmart's rough.
I forget.
I forget how bad my dollar store is
and how bad the Weitzberg Walmart is
until I go in other dollar stores and Walmarts
and I'm like, oh.
Yeah.
I imagined if you were getting a bootleg booster
behind Walmart
and Whitesburg you would get
at least some horny goat weed.
What was up with horny goat weed?
I don't know.
I don't...
He was in college when he was having some
performance issues. use it in college when he's having some performance issue
i mean this was before widely available like internet orderable
yes for you you could just go get see allison there you go well was that what horny goat weed
was like me and my friend in middle school found his dad's thing of
horny goat weed and we thought that was the funniest fucking wait it said it said horny
goat weed on it it's a product they sell at like gas stations and shit oh i never knew what it was
i never knew if it actually worked or not if If it was like, I mean, if it wasn't like, I don't know, some like speed or something.
I have no idea.
In high school, a kid put Spanish fly in the teacher's coffee.
What's Spanish fly?
Really rude shit.
I don't even know.
Some similar
Stimulant for dicks
Yeah Spanish fly is like
An 80s thing
Or 90s thing
Yeah
Does it make you like hallucinate and shit
What does it do
No I think it just makes your dick hard
Supposedly
Gets your libido up or something
That would suck Like to be a teacher
to get paid shit to be get completely demeaned and condescended to and etc daily from everybody
and then to have some shit kid put a dick pill in your coffee drugs although i'll say he was an insane person and there were several
male teachers at my high school fucking female students
sexually abusing female students jesus it was just it was a a nightmare The football coach
The assistant football coach
He played for UK
I won't say his full Christian name here
But I'm sure you can figure it out
But yeah
He had two young girlfriends
I was in the class
With one of them and I never noticed
I just feel like I'm a dumbass
I just don't notice anything
But they were like together I was in the class with one of them and I never noticed. I just feel like I'm a dumbass. I just don't notice anything.
But they were like together, together.
He had twin babies with his wife.
I mean, just through the roof drama, honey.
Goddamn.
It was sick.
Speaking of fraternities um tom was just mentioned i was thinking about this the other day you know it's a small world right but you have to assume that like everything's been
done before right like no thought you have is original. No life experience is probably completely original.
But I do have to say,
Tom Sexton might be the only guy in America
who was in a frat in college
and went on to become a moderately successful socialist podcaster.
That socialist is the...
I'd have to say
Rob Wiseman, too.
Oh, damn.
Were y'all in the same frat together?
We were in the same fraternity, but we
crossed paths
every now and then. You were a little older than him,
I think, right?
Yeah, but that don't mean much, because I was
in college for like nine years.
It doesn't matter. I had was in college for like nine years. Doesn't matter.
I had a Van Wilder situation going on.
Shout out Rob.
Rob Wiseman gave me one of the funniest and funnest podcast experiences I've ever had.
And to this day, I feel terrible that my service was so bad.
But we got into a virtual car and we took a tour around Kentucky using Google Street Maps or Google Satellite.
I had to miss that one.
I was so mad.
Just commented on the sites and the scenes.
It's a great state, folks.
There's a lot of things to see here.
There's a lot of things to see here There's a statue of Keith Whitley
That his face
Looks like he's
Either being hit with a cattle prod
Or
Getting a prostate exam
There's a couple waterfalls
There's a nuclear power plant
There's a lot of stuff here you know
What did y'all go see in that one
we went and saw a hill
in Moorhead
I mean it was
LaKeejee
LaKeejee
out by the lake
I know which one you're talking about
this podcast does need to relocate
to Moorhead let's do it let's relocate to Moorhead.
Let's do it.
Let's relocate to a new Kentucky.
There was like a meme going around the other day that was like,
it was like Barberville, Kentucky, not in Barberville County, Kentucky. And it like went down like Hopkinsville, not in Hopkinsville County.
Hazard.
No, Hazard's not a county, but Jackson.
There's Jackson, but it's not in Jackson County.
Right.
Yeah, that's true.
They spread them out like that.
I don't know why.
There's so many little towns that the name of which is not...
It's so misleading and confusing.
It's an interesting state, folks.
And they're all named for Poor war criminals
Well
Also there's this song
That's like really really bad
I think it
I don't even think it's popular
It had like 3,000 views
It was by some guy named Ben Jammer
By a guy named
Jonathan Webb featuring Ramel Bradley
Well that too um but
there's this like video song going around by this guy named ben jamming jamming j-a-m-n and it's
called 55 counties and it's about west virginia and the guy looks i think i sent it to you tom
like half the time the guy looks like he works for a non-profit and the other time he looked
well yeah that's the weird thing he kind of looks like jonathan webb like jonathan webb is the
perfect hybrid of like guy who works at a non-profit and guy who's trying to be like have drip white guy who's trying to have drip yeah yeah it's true he's uh he's a little schizophrenic in his presentation
yeah well anyways where i was going with that is that west virginia has 55 counties
and um that seems pretty reasonable right like that's not too many. But Kentucky has, like, 150.
120 counties, which is absurd.
Yeah.
120.
120.
Speaking of being dosed, the other day I was thinking about,
like, you know how COVID has all these weird features, like
the fur and cleavage site or whatever.
Right, right, right.
Have you heard of, what do you know about the fur and cleavage site, Tanya?
You heard of that?
No, I know nothing.
What site did you say it was on?
The fur and cleavage site. The fur and cleavage site.
The fur and cleavage site.
Are you just talking?
It's like an aspect of the COVID virus.
It's like something about it that makes it more easily bindable to human cells or something like that right tom was
it something like that i mean they had to give it the name cleavage because yeah it's like what
binds best with humans yeah it was they called cleavage because it was in two big old honkers
on the covid particle they had to bury their faces in there and dig it out but yeah it's like
something about the covid particle like the virus that makes it more easily i don't know i don't i've already forgotten i
don't retain anything these days but it's something like that lord have mercy no comment on that. I just can't follow. My arm's
hurting from my booster and I'm
being a big baby.
That's alright.
Mine hurt pretty bad too.
Oh man. Mine still hurts.
I still have a phantom pain at the side.
Oh my god.
How long?
How long?
I got it a week ago oh fuck okay i'm so i'm such a low
tolerance for pain anymore that's the fur and cleavage that's the that's what the fur and
cleavage side does to you it helps you out it fucks you up. Causes you.
Fur and cleavage starts causing me a number of,
a lot of pain over the years.
Fur and cleavage?
Wait, this is an interesting thing.
I've thought a lot about this. Like, because is my tolerance for pain getting lower as I get older,
or is the pain getting greater?
Like, that's the thing.
That's a good question when did y'all first start at what age did y'all first start feeling random pains that
like if you would have been like 18 would have set off like all kinds of like alarms but now
you're just like yeah dude uh i started i started throwing my back out in college for it was stress related, um,
muscle spasms and shit.
And that's the first time I was like 20.
No,
I was like 20 years old.
That's the first time a doctor offered me opiates.
I got just the thing for you.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
nerve pills. And I was like, no buddy just please give me something for the
inflammation just wow what a nerd for god's sake i would have been like
you know and then you like don't take your pills while you feel like shit and then wait till
afterwards hold out no i mean i could have should have would have sold them and not had to
work three jobs through college but whatever you know i after seeing a couple friends od i was on
a high horse at that time oh so you already knew about the dangers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got most of my hardcore partying out in high school, honestly.
By college, I was legit terrified of flunking out because all my cousins had.
Like, DeMoorhead.
My oldest cousin, she went to DeMoorhead, ran up like a $40,000 credit card and flunked out once.
Man, that town will do it to you. I don't know what it is.
An all-time run, really.
Just one for the books.
Yeah, and she was ahead of me
and after that everybody was like,
that's it, no more college for you bitches.
And I was just...
I had a college that produced me,
Rob Wiseman, Chuck Woolery, Billy Ray Cyrus.
You should you have to expect things like that are going to happen.
And Steve Inskeep.
Yes, Steve Inskeep.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that sent me.
I was like, OK, I have if I flunk out, I have to go home.
And I was terrified to have to go
home so i i did my best i did take a lot of adderall in those days i partied hard up until
about five years ago really so like age 29 i just couldn't do it anymore. I hit a wall like Christmas 2015.
I was like, why do I keep doing this to myself?
I think I do remember that Christmas.
I'm glad you do.
Everything comes to a head at Christmas.
Dude, this fucking month sucks ass.
I was trying to sign up for health care like every
fucking year like if you're gonna make us do this it gets worse and worse but if you're gonna make
us do this it's an absolute shit show it like put it in the middle of summer or something like
just like it makes okay let me backtrack so I've been like over the last two years,
been working really hard on my tendency to procrastinate.
And I've still not done, really made any progress.
Made zero headway in that effort.
No, no, literally last year, you all filed your taxes the day they were due.
I spent months begging you two to deal with taxes. Nah, I'll probably do it about the day it's due. I spent months begging you two to deal with taxes.
Nah, I'll probably do it about the day it's due.
Absolute.
This is the kind of thing that would give me an ulcer.
Well,
there you go.
I'm a walking
demonstration.
I'm thinking about becoming one of those anti-tax sovereign citizen guys.
Dude, I'm with you.
Dude, fuck you.
Let's fucking do that shit.
We're just going to take a hard pivot on this show against taxes.
Well, because I've gotten a tax return every year of my born life until last year,
and I don't like it.
This is outrageous.
of my born life until last year and I don't like it.
This is outrageous.
I think I miss the
once a year
splurges you get when you get your tax return
versus the, oh, I gotta
pay this year.
Yeah, I want my $1,200 to go shopping on,
goddammit.
Seriously, in elementary school
when my mom got her tax return, she would come
as soon as it got there in the mail
she would come straight to school take us out of school
we'd go straight to Myrtle Beach
do not pass go
do not claim $200 girls
just get in the car
she's a single mom with three kids
she'd get like six seven grand back
she'd come straight check us out
and I knew it i mean i
knew it was that time and if i was getting checked out early i knew we was going to fucking myrtle
beach she'd call into work for a week won't be back for a week
and i missed those days and yeah so I was pro taxes until I had to pay
them well
you know
there's not a lot that I took from my
time working with Storm and Norman
the biker contractor guy
but
he did tell me that
you know he did say one day your
view on taxes will change
so let's do it You know, he did say, one day your view on taxes will change.
So.
Let's do it.
What do we got to lose? You know, here's the thing.
I'd love paying taxes if we got something for it.
Yeah, true.
I'm just going to start trotting out all the right-wing talking points about taxes now.
It's like, what are we paying for?
Fucking Bezos to send William Shatner to the fucking whatever sphere well just sending money to a
government who's just chipping away at any resemblance of quality of life for anyone who
needs health care well this is the thing like i can't at this point give you
any like what do they fucking do okay as an example as an example right i'm trying to sign
up for my health care i do the same thing i do every year i'm sure this was in an email i got
somewhere but i didn't fucking check it because i probably probably came from an address that said
healthcare.gov which is like i'm automatically not going to fucking read that because it probably came from an address that said healthcare.gov, which is like I'm automatically not going to fucking read that
because it's stressful, and I don't want to think about it.
Well, also, in terms of just look, it has the same legitimacy as,
here, you've just won a $5,000 Samsung gift card.
Oh, yeah, they're sending us this government fucking legit shit
and Comic Sans and shit.
I mean, you're going to see healthcare. government fucking legit shit and Comic Sans and shit. I can't.
I mean, you're going to see healthcare.gov in the margins of Pornhub now.
Sign up for the bronze plan while you're looking for whatever deviant thing
it is you're looking for.
The thing is, like, okay, so that's what I do.
I go there, and I'm'm gonna try to sign up for my
thing but oh turns out they don't do that anymore kentucky does it now the state of kentucky doesn't
so it's like all right i guess i'll go to them so like i have to go through like the portal that
they set up the state set up that is a thousand times jankier than like the healthcare it is
it is so it looks insane the website looks like it
was i'm not talking about the front page like where you first like are encountered with like
the healthcare plans and all this like as you try to sign in it takes you to like the shittiest
looking like web browser or like like just like 90. By comparison, when I signed up
for a job at Lowe's a few years ago,
it looked way chicer than the
healthcare.gov thing.
Well, and just think
of how this began, Terrence. This all
started, what we're seeing right now,
because Kentucky has taken back
our open enrollment shit.
It's taken, how long has Andy been in office?
Two years. Three years three years took two 2020 that was his first year no yeah his first year he won in 1923 yeah yeah yeah
so like almost two years right so this is him finally getting it back and this all started
with daddy brashir not daddy andy but you know daddy daddy papa brashear steve on being
he was like the poster child for medicare expansion and remember obama called him up
to the state of the union address yeah and this is all an attempt for the brashears to
you know see this through be okay, we got it back.
Back under the Kentucky roof.
The Brashears single-handedly delivered healthcare to Kentucky into this year.
These are healthcare plug.
They're our healthcare plug.
Literally.
Like they are like a drug dynasty like the queen of
england but like their product is health care and it's the product is getting shittier the product
is getting yeah progressively worse you try and get that bronze coverage what's good but i truly
wish i could just go sit on their couch for an hour and watch the last half of Batman Returns in exchange for my goods.
Get some cash.
Leave some cash on the coffee table.
Pet the dog and leave.
Yeah, Andy's like, oh, man, I love this part.
Well, you've got to stay for this part.
You've got to stay.
This is the part.
Hey, this is where Eric Roberts, they throw him off the building and he breaks his leg.
They let Tim Burton direct that movie.
They let Tim Burton.
Oh, he said Batman Returns.
Jack Nicholson Joker.
Dude, I'm just trying to get my 400 a month premium bronze plan and get out of here.
No, bro, listen.
Hey, Prince did the soundtrack on this.
Did you know that?
Here comes Batdance. Bro. The Penguin. no bro listen hey prince did the soundtrack on this did you know that here come bat dance
bro the penguin the penguin did give me nightmares as a child that's a good one
listen bro i'm trying to get enrolled on that bronze plan
so i don't get fined and get out of here so i don't end up like the fucking penguin
it's like bro listen man you know you can't go with
anywhere in your network or out of network but check this out i'm telling you prince did this
soundtrack i'm telling you bro eight thousand dollar deductible i know you won't think you
hit you'll hit that but let's run a few errands with me real quick we'll run that deductible
yeah yeah it's like you see that episode of atlanta where he's just trying to get his hair Run a few errands with me real quick. We'll run that deductible. Yeah, yeah.
It's like you see that episode of Atlanta where he's just trying to get his hair cut and his barber like drags him all over town doing a bunch of bullshit.
Oh, my God, yeah.
That's what it'd be like.
No, come on.
Let's go to 24-hour fitness real quick.
Yeah, and at one of them, you do get your kneecaps busted out,
and that does go towards your deductible
so it works out yeah i gotta go get the kids from school now you coming with
yeah but so like i'm trying to like navigate this fucking website and it's impossible like every
time i fill out the form it it will redirect me back to this page that's like, you already have an account.
And then it's got a sentence that is completely like misspelled and like the grammar is all weird.
It's so sketchy.
It's like, it's like, it's like, you already have an account registered with us.
If you need a reminder as to how to sign in and then it's
got a period and then it says click to email and it makes no sense and so i was like what
so i clicked i clicked if you like us on facebook
so i clicked it and i was like what is this and this fucking website ran me back through the same
cycle and it does this it runs me through the same three
pages over and over again so finally i called them 40 minute wait right it's a 40 of course
it's going to be at least a 40 minute wait let me ask you a question have you and you know i've
you know most people spend any amount of time in eastern kentucky have worked at a call center
so you certainly sympathize but have you
ever called one of these outfits and it wasn't like we're experiencing high call volumes right
now i never not once no no it's like hire more people you dumb fucks yeah yeah um well that's
the thing i probably i got someone to call back, and she sounded like she was incredibly overworked
and did not give a fuck.
She wasn't mean.
She wasn't nice.
She was just whatever.
And so I was telling her about this,
and she was like,
oh, you need a case number, right?
And I was like,
I guess.
I don't know what a fucking case number is.
I mean, that's the thing you just say.
I need health care, girl.
I don't need a case number.
I need an insurance card.
At no point did it ask me for a case number.
At no point did it ask for a case number.
This literally is survival of the, I don't know,
survival of those who can navigate this maze.
And if you can't,
guess what? You die.
Good luck.
You're exterminated.
It's like survival of the patient, basically.
You know what I mean?
I'm dead.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's like running a goddamn
gauntlet or something it just costs a damn much
to live just to exist i got hit with a fucking barnacle today by lex part here's a here's a
thought experiment are meter maids uh cops are they do they file under ACAP absolutely fuck meter maids dude yeah the worst class
traders
okay what was your barnacle
they're saying I owed
a hundred and something dollars in unpaid
tickets I don't know
they will literally a hundred and something
dollars you into a grave
some guy was like walking and he was like
stopped and looked at my barnacle i said all right get on wait what is a barnacle you know it's like they don't put
a boot on you anymore they put like a big like yellow plastic thing over your windshield so you
can't see to drive off are you shitting me i'd love to see a motherfucker in like a 97 ford tour just like driving with
his head out the window that's about what i was gonna do they clipped your car you couldn't leave
i mean i could have but it wouldn't have been safe to
unless i would have deployed that driving style oh my god
that driving style oh my god anyway it's just so goddamn much to live man well yeah it's like nickel and dime they nickel and dime you but then there's yeah then there's this extra shit and this
is why it i don't know it's just like they wear you down with just um subterfuge and like paperwork so like this woman i'm talking
to right like like she was like talk kept trying to tell me about a case number and so i kind of
was going along with it and i was like but yeah but here's the problem like every time i try to
log back in it says i can't and it sends me through these same couple of sites and i had to explain
this about three different times for her to finally click with her. And then when it did, she was like, oh, well, I'm going to be honest.
I have no idea what that's about, but I can sing you to someone who can.
The worst thing is when you have to make some progress, then they have to send you down the line.
You got to retrace all your steps with that person.
And them spotting words.
It's just shit like that.
And I know it's like
low-hanging fruit to like harp on it and talk about it but like dude come on well my friends
who are veterans of the call center i've seen them work absolute magic i mean they'll get on
the phone they'll immediately ask for the like some specific like site supervisor or some shit like it's very
specific person that they know are gonna have all the answers to all the questions and they won't
be shifted around they're like i need to speak to the like on-call supervisor something or another
i'm like damn you really know how to work a call center bitch you gotta get you gotta get one of
them in your life and then just venmo them to do all your
calling for you it's like hey can you can you figure this out for me i'm just gonna go on up
the chain here yeah i'm gonna make it clear i'm not disparaging the um people who work at the
call centers it's more like the fact that just give me fucking health care it's just none of it
is set up to make anyone's life better
including the people who work there just make it to where i can leave my house if i break my leg
and i can go to the doctor like that's all i'm asking ultimately here's the thing about it is
is having insurance is just a process of credentialization just so that you're in compliance.
It does not grant you anything special.
Exactly, and it's also belittling.
You have to fucking prostrate yourself.
Jump through all the fucking hoops.
Be patient.
Don't lose your fucking temper.
All these things.
You're still getting a $7,000 bill.
It doesn't matter if you got the goddamn platinum plan.
Exactly.
It's not going to not gonna fucking matter does not
matter trust me i have goddamn uh allergy test done i got a bill for 780 for that's with insurance
i've considered getting married for insurance i don't know why just to get somebody's plan
so i wouldn't have tom i'm paying almost six hundred dollars a month
for insurance right now that's my biggest bill that's fine but guess what even if you had it
you ain't getting no coverage sister this samara i don't give a damn if you marry a motherfucking
uh hunter biden you ain't getting nice you're not getting You ain't getting treated
without it costing you.
Oh, God.
Dude, it's crazy.
Sassy.
It's absolutely insane.
Yeah.
Well, did you get your case number? Are you insured, Terrence?
Well, the thing that the thing
is is it makes no sense she told me so yeah i got my case number i always get my case number
i never go anywhere without my case number
um but she told me she was like well but the thing is it says here that you're
insured through next year and i was like okay that makes no sense like it makes no sense you should just
say send me a letter to that effect immediately and let's just i'll just stop here i literally
asked her i was like does the date say 12 31 2022 like through that date and she said yeah and i was
like like i didn't say anything i just let it go but in my mind i'm like there is no fucking way because like i didn't sign up for a two-year plan
they don't even fucking make those not talking anyway he's like what the fuck no because that's
like once you uh reach age 21 in kentucky your life expectancy is those on the two-year increments so you gotta check in every two years right right
they're not gonna insure you for it's gonna get to a point where they have to check you every month
you're gonna have to renew your insurance month to month because life expect life will be so
precarious in chief oh man it is bad y'all it really is bad i hate to i don't you know again i hate to
you know everybody says we're the doomers and this that and third whatever but i'm telling you that
it's not to make us back about the barnacle again but it broke something it did i listen it made me i've had two confrontations with lex park already
one with this guy came out there he was scheming on me and i said bro i got the i got the permit
now he goes he got kind of smart with me okay i was just checking dude they love your fucking street they love that shit like they they
i got two tickets with my cut my shit park there like three days with a pass they don't fucking
give a shit they don't care no they find a way because it's like i was like oh well you got to
move the vehicle every 24 hours i told the guys what that was the second confrontation I said so let me get this straight if I move this five feet
I don't get a ticket
yeah
this is like they do that in New York
and it's annoying as fucking New York
but it at least has a practical purpose
like they're cleaning the streets
again annoying as fuck who gives a shit
but they at least have something
here they don't clean your fucking street.
What the fuck is that for?
Oh, man. It's a joke.
Bad joke.
It's all because you live so close
to the fucking college.
They're going to fuck around with me
until I'm going to have to...
I'll go ahead and say it.
I might vandalize a Lex Park vehicle.
And I'll tell you why i would spend twenty thousand
fucking dollars going to court over vandalism if i thought somebody if i thought it would
inconvenience those cocksuckers for five fucking seconds that's how vindictive i am at this point
it's better than paying taxes
well that's the thing that's what that's what i'm saying like what do these
taxes go to they don't fucking go to signing up health care or they don't go to health care or
even signing you up they've even like they've wiped their hands of that like nah bro we're
not even signing you up anymore just fucking fend for yourselves out there like they don't even but
then then then they get all
this other fucking money in the form of tickets where is this fucking money going bro listen let
me tell you something i knew a guy named scott howard one time not the not the famous coal miner
but rather his son scott and scott had devised a scheme to where he, well, one, this guy was just an innovator in scams.
He knew how to rob Pepsi machines.
Hell yeah.
I mean, all kinds of shit.
Scott was a criminal genius.
He's also a mathematical genius.
The forgotten heroes.
The forgotten heroes, really.
Scott deserves a Profiles in Courage.
He inadvertently became a hero in Tennessee
when he was trying to rob a drug dealer.
But there was a fight that broke out,
and he got stabbed trying to defend this girl from, like,
this guy was, like, hitting this girl.
So the only reason he was there was to rob a drug dealer.
But he ended up looking like a hero.
It was, you know, an advocate for women.
Anyway, Scott got a job at double quick and he learned how to print out those like little double quick rewards you know what i'm talking about
free gas and whatever whatever yeah yeah so he'd print one out for like a hundred bucks and just
like go sell it for like 20 or something he made a killing and he got away with it for a year before children
finally caught on what he was doing only because he got sloppy one time there was something he had
to do to where it didn't save and whatever whatever it was anyway i say all that to say that
that's only slightly less legitimate than health care in this country
it is like a goddamn ponzi skate man
got 7800 bill one time to pour fucking iodine on a dog bite and give a shot of antibiotics
dude i know i mean this like you deserve to be decapitated like the worst thing
deserves to happen to whoever set that in motion.
Dude,
I'm saying, like, if the money only goes towards
more cops and more
troops, it might not
be the worst idea in the world.
Of course, you go to jail
for it. There is that
stipulation, but
man, I don't know.
All this and the highest court of the fucking land is spinning wheels hearing fucking arguments all this bullshit gonna drag out over the next year
hearings to make health care even worse Criminalize it even further.
So it's like they're not even doing anything to make it better.
Check this out.
Did you see today Biden's like,
my COVID plan is to reimburse you for your at-home test kits.
For my at-home test kits. Fuck off.
I want to, god damn it.
That is such a slap in the fucking face that is unreal just don't say
anything dude if you're not gonna get a shit just shut the fuck up yeah it's just such a joke and
then it's like i saw something you know where he kind of set the undoing of roe v wade in motion
when he was in the senate a long time ago and And now it's like, what do they say now?
Oh, well, we gotta vote for these Democrats
so we can protect Roe v. Wade.
It's a fucking joke, man.
Oh, dude, I mean...
He could legalize
all abortion into eternity
with a fucking
presidential whatever
they do right now.
He won't. I'll tell you this new york times um subheader
and headline literally says the quiet part out loud abortion decision could spill into midterm
elections both sides and kill me fucking cut my head off i'm the one who wants to be headless
both sides anticipate that a supreme Court decision scaling back abortion rights
would royal next year's elections
with Democrats sensing an
advantage. Like, they don't want
to fucking do it. They're letting it happen
so they can win elections.
I mean, this is
so...
After they spent the last fucking
all of our lives, plus
real estate, saying we have
to vote. You gotta vote for us because we're
gonna protect Roe v. Wade.
I mean...
And now they want that shit
to happen so they can have something to
fucking run on because they got
nothing else.
No. They can't even lick a lot of
weed. These people are fucking...
They don't even have the shitty bronze
plan that you get in the back of the alley anymore
they're not even in the back of the alley anymore
I got this god damn smooth rock
from a zen garden I'm getting ready to throw it through my
god damn window
an object designed to
bring me peace it's just
I'm gonna weaponize it
god damn anyways you know I I'm going to weaponize it. God damn.
Anyways.
You know, back to the taxes thing.
You know, we had health care and all this stuff.
Since we don't, you know what I propose we do?
I propose we all go get in the Blue Angels and go joyriding.
So we at least get something for the three of us just doing little twists
and turns in the air
we start our own circus of like
yeah
of motorcycles
we ain't got nothing for it man
he drive around east kentucky man they fucking
i hate to be that guy it's like it's place power but they took every goddamn thing out of that
place and you drive around some of these places the goddamn road shelf and off down a fucking
embankment fucking hundreds of feet to the fucking bottom it It's a joke. It's a joke.
This country's just...
I'm broke today.
It's that barnacle got to me.
I'm telling you.
They might as well put that barnacle on your face.
They might as well have put that barnacle over my goddamn face.
Over my soul.
They're going to start doing that.
If you own enough fines they'll find
a way to wrap your entire fucking head in some sort of barnacle like material you can't fucking
move or go anywhere they're gonna bring the fucking stocks back and let everybody throw
tomatoes at you they really are though they really are moving the prison more and more like everybody
five years ago,
my house incarceration's going down a biscuit.
No, it's fucking not.
They're just either putting everybody in jail
or they're moving the prison closer to our lives.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, every little fucking thing.
Everybody's on house arrest.
Everybody's literally in a...
Like, they've got a stalker on their ankle.
Right.
Seriously.
And they're having to pay for their own incarceration.
Or taking a fucking drug test, which is the same shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, just every fucking thing.
We're having a real good.
Yeah.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There's no point in trying to sugarcoat it.
If you're just, I mean, there are some days where it just wears a little fucking thin.
And it's like the knowledge that you can't do anything about it, really.
It's the helplessness.
You know, I don't want to fetishize helplessness because I think there's got to be a way.
Okay?
I don't know what that is you know uh somebody had left some message about we hadn't had an original thought
or an intriguing idea all right cocksucker how about you how about you give me a damn second okay here's the other thing listen yeah here's the intriguing idea how about you
go fucking pee the bed somewhere you fucking pussy anyway so i don't know i just have this
mental image of them bringing the stocks back. But instead of people throwing tomatoes at you,
you're just out there on a Thursday night in downtown Lexington
and these fraternity guys that smell like goddamn Aquadesio
just throw up the Rock On sign and take pictures with you
while you're sitting there just fucking with your hands and head through this motherfucker.
One of them drapes his balls over your forehead.
Yeah, the tea bag.
Yeah, it's just fucking.
That's the worst thing you can imagine.
They did that at one point.
Remember when they were.
There was a few judges who were making people stand out in front of a store they stole from.
With a sign that said, I stole from the store.
That was their.
That was what they had to do.
Uh-huh. to to avoid jail
i mean it's public you're if you're a judge you can basically fucking anything like that
fucking idiots these sick sick freaks i mean we we've just got two rapists at least two that we
know of on the supreme court and they get to decide whether we have life-saving care
that's his deciding it is so surreal it really is it's completely surreal especially if like me
you've kind of i don't want to say i've completely disconnected from it but i've definitely lost
any illusion that any kind of change can be um sort of started from within it you know what
i'm saying like i may have had a shred of it of that left last year but i mean like electoral
strategies yeah yeah yeah so for me to see like yeah so so yes so i've kind of just completely
given up on that all together entirely and then it's great it's just surreal for me to sort of sit in that and then open up you know the news story that's like yeah
nine people sit down and deliberate this thing that affects millions and millions of people it's
fucking phenomenal it's and people and and people not only that but the smartest guys you went to
college with who now work for the State Department and shit,
who they maintain.
Smartest guys I went to college with were all NFT guys.
But yeah, I get what you're saying.
Again, I went to Morehead State.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyways.
Well, both of them are saying, good on you, man.
This is great.
This is optimal.
Did y'all see that thing yesterday in San Francisco?
That woman was talking about how the city,
like all these shops had boarded up their windows and stuff because of
vandalism or whatever.
And that was like the death knell in San Francisco
I didn't see that
yeah because the Brooks Brothers
store had to have
a goddamn board put up in front of it
that was the death knell of San Francisco
not that everybody that ever lived there has been
ran out for the worst people in the world
it's a pretty serious issue
man
I mean their homelessness rate
is through the roof right
I think so
damn
yeah
yeah
yeah
um
well what else is
going on guys
not much I saw today Well, what else is going on, guys? Not much.
I saw today...
Well, I'm looking forward to
3-6 Mafia and the Bone Thugs
doing Versus tonight.
Oh, nice.
Is that tonight?
That's tonight.
Big showdown.
Two of the...
Definitely the most unique groups to ever win
Grammys and an Academy Award
well it's also
a drag holiday tonight
it's the big reveal of
season 4 Queens in the middle
of a drag Christmas
show
I'll be damned
on live TV
live television
live TV who Live television.
Live TV.
Who knew that event still existed?
That's pretty crazy.
Would you ever do live television?
What do you mean, would I do it?
Would I fuck it?
Would I fuck live television?
I would be so bad at live TV.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, we did live radio. I feel like that that's different i'd be like the guy on network i'd come undone about this barnacle thing
and have like a big hook come just pull me off yeah the cameras make your anxiety worse so you
just spiral even harder cameras are there
I mean my give a damn is busted
though I'll get out and do whatever
two years ago pre-pandemic
I had to have a Xanax I was a Texas
still live show now I don't give a damn
if I piss myself in front of that
crowd that's fine
who cares
I don't give a fuck
who fucking cares?
What's the worst that can happen?
What more worse could happen?
Yeah, worst that happens,
somebody calls me Pissy Pants Tom.
I've been called worse.
I did see this this week.
This is pretty tight.
I remember I was telling my girlfriend a couple weeks ago that, like, okay,
I just need to say, big fan of Jodie Foster.
Always been a big fan of Jodie Foster.
But I was telling my girlfriend a couple weeks ago that.
So it was John Hinckley.
Well, that's where I'm going with this.
If somebody shot Reagan for me, I would marry that person.
If someone shot Ronald Reagan for me, that would be a declaration of love that, I mean, you know.
You're telling me that's real?
I thought that was like an onion line or something.
No, he shot Ronald Reagan to impress Jodie Foster.
She did say she was impressed.
I don't want to glorify stalking or anything like that. Ronald Reagan to impress Jodie Foster. She did say she was impressed. And so this week she said...
I don't want to glorify stalking or anything like that,
but I'll never, ever, ever apologize
for Ronald Reagan being shot.
That's just the long and short of it.
Tom, do you have a reason to apologize for it?
Were you driving the getaway car?
No, that's not what I meant.
I just think it's a good thing.
Were you alive when Ronald Reagan was shot, Tom?
What year was that?
No, none of us were.
It was like 81.
When was Reagan shot?
Damn, first year into the job, my man got popped.
When was Reagan shot? Damn, first year into the job, my man got popped. When was Ronald Reagan?
You'd think that our deep state handlers that put him in office would have saw that coming.
The thing is, I think the deep state handlers are the ones who tried to have him shot.
Oh, okay.
Like, what?
So George H.W. can slide in there?
Yeah.
I still don't understand this thing to impress Jodie Foster.
Was she just, like, very vocal about hating Reagan?
No, I think he just saw her in a movie and was like,
no, she might be impressed by this.
He fucked him up, though.
He got him, like, right here.
That shit went into his lungs. He fucking got up though. He got him like right here. That shit went into his lungs.
He fucking got his ass.
Ba-bow!
Ba-bow!
Oh, hell.
What else?
This week, Chris Cuomo was suspended from CNN for helping his brother out when his brother was...
Someone verbally told me this story, and I said, who's his brother?
Who's his friend?
That's where I'm at
they just looked at me like
what
Chris Cuomo said he was
go to the mat for his to defend
his brother's right to sexually
harass women
and apparently every damn
body
to kiss everyone he's ever come in contact with
there were also people online
like saying
oh
if it was my brother I would have helped
him out too
just like
no you wouldn't
I think the best thing you can do is just love
your brother and just probably
stop there
I'm not going to aid and abet my sex best brother that you can do is just love your brother and just probably stand he's stopped there
i'm not gonna aid in a bit my sex best brother i know like why would you admit to that why would people admit i would help him what do you even do to help him i think he was trying to like help
at one point i think he went after um a reporter he had heard a reporter was going to write a story about
one of the women and i think maybe he kind of like went after them or sent someone after them
or something but i also think he like sat in on like pr sessions and like tried to like game it
out like you know how can we um spin this so it doesn't sound that bad oh as an expert cnn anchor yeah and also as someone
who like gets to report the story or i don't know or knows the people who get to report the story
yeah yeah i know that mario cuomo their dad almost got popped by the sicilian mafia
on a family vacation netherland oh my god if only they had succeeded we would be spared this
incredibly ridiculous i mean dude this this family what the fuck what the fuck who are
these goddamn people i'll never forget that video he dropped of him making out with everybody
i've never forget that's a bit that's one of the best political moments of our time I do it to everybody
Women, children
This man was accused of sexual misconduct
He dropped a video of him kissing Bill Clinton
Who thought it was a good idea to have
Bill Clinton
In your video
It's supposed to just be your
Sort of speak to your character
and explain this away.
Was that Chris's idea?
Because if so, they should have suspended him
a long ass time ago.
Something is deeply
wrong with him.
Oh my god.
Such a
putz day.
Oh god. Did you see this thing speaking of cnn you see this thing
where they confirmed the existence of uh cnn's end of the world video
no no back in the 80s ted turner had produced a uh video that he had ordered everybody at CNN in the event of like a nuclear holocaust situation
to play like as the world's burning.
And it's just a military band standing in front of his house
playing Nearer My God to Thee on like various brass instruments.
Like grainy video, whatever.
And I guess if the world ever ends,
that's what you're going to see on CNN.
You're going to click it over
expecting to see Chris Cuomo
running interference for his sex pest brother.
But instead,
it's going to be the U.S. Navy band
from 1980
playing Near My God to Thee.
Here's the thing.
From Ted Turner's house.
I would love that. I would love to fucking turn's the thing ted turner's house i would love that i would love to
fucking turn on the television my hypothetical tv switch the knob and it's that i mean at least
that would be that would probably be somewhat promising at this point
a harbinger of good things to come yeah Yeah, like some sort of reset might be coming.
You know, like it wouldn't feel so interminable
or like there was no end in sight to any of this.
They'd be like, oh.
I got to say this.
Nobody seems like they're having a good time.
Everyone's insane.
Everyone's completely fucking insane.
Are the good times really over for good?
Hey, Tonya, they might be.
Are we rolling downhill like a snowball?
Or hell.
Oh, God.
I'd say they are.
I would be very confident in saying yes.
I'd say they are. I would be very confident in saying yes.
Well, I see that we have many, many circled figure pieces,
including a shout-out to Tom himself.
Yeah, there's a few in there I didn't mean to circle,
so if it sucks, I apologize.
You didn't send that directly to him, Terrence?
I sent it to both of you, to the group chat.
Oh, okay.
I got to just point and zoom.
You got to zoom.
Now we know this is not admissible in court, me doing that.
Can you read it?
Can you zoom?
Is that all right?
Yeah, I got it.
To a person who said,
Whitesburg and Jenkins police are on call on call 24 7 you may be right but not
all of them are brave enough to go to those calls nor do all of them do their job properly
no kidding for example if they don't feel the call is important enough they take their sweet
precious time trust me i've been on both sides and no i'm not an ex-cop I was wondering what's the other side
what else is there to be
dispatcher maybe
it might be Ryan Adams
well I doubt it
he's falling on hard times
yeah that dude's in jail
so
but in fairness
he's been on both sides of it
this is to the lady who has been driving
her little camaro past my house and passed me two or three times when i'm sitting on the road
why don't you stop how about that
folks are talking about how the coal mines are recovering for that you can thank santa claus
there are so many people right now who are filled with
hatred and bigotry stupidity and hypocrisy santa has had to order a lot more coal to put in their
stockings even scrooge had to change your heart so it might not be too late for you i love that
just like there's a lot of meanness out there so much that it might bring back save the cold
business to a former sheriff's deputy yeah a little typo there how does karma feel you can't
call people's personal phones and threaten to arrest them for no apparent reason and comment
on facebook what is going on over at the Sheriff's
Department? My God.
It has never been robbed.
Truly. They're shooting antique
guns they stole from the hip.
Nor can you
tell
them they can't visit
friends around the courthouse area now,
can you? Also,
the one comment I made was the
dang truth, and you know, you
and everyone else knows it.
Anyway, God bless.
Hope you get right with the Lord, because he is
coming soon. I hope all you
people who didn't do the right thing get
right. There's some of you that are
good, and some that are bad.
Pretty fair.
No lies detected there.
I was in a funeral procession
coming out of Whitesburg last week
and we were not escorted
by the sheriff's office
even though I called and asked for it.
What the fuck?
Like, they had to just drive
with the hearse?
I mean, of all the things
that cops might be necessary for,
like, it might be good
to have a car with some sirens on top
just to let people know a dead person in their family is coming.
I think...
They can't even do that.
I think if we ever get a revolution situation,
cops are strictly on funeral procession duty.
It's their only job.
The only thing that they could serve a purpose for really
nick that's so far i was in let's see they said they didn't have enough people to do that
well all i could tell them is they better get someone who can do that because that is very
disrespectful thank you it takes like one person. Maybe two.
I met a girl about six years ago on the southeast Coal Company Road. She's one of the sweetest girls I've ever met in my life.
She's full of spirit and would do anything in the world for her friends.
I'll never forget her. She was as good as gold to me. See you, Blondie.
Could have been a Britt Springsteen song.
To Tom.
I have never met you, yet I have listened to you talk for hundreds of hours.
I fear I may be in love with you.
Good night and God bless.
Take a number, baby.
To a man on Sandlot, you say you don't try to break people up
and that your work is done 100% satisfactorily.
That has proven to be a lie.
When you did something and went back to check on it and said you'd fix it,
you never showed up again.
Well, that shows what kind of liar you are.
You're like your work.
Sorry.
Sorry.
well that shows what kind of liar you are you're like your work sorry could someone tell me what the deal is
i love that jerry seinfeld opener yeah could somebody could someone tell me what the deal
is with there never being any paper in the gas pump so you can get a receipt
there's also never any paper to the gas pump so you can get a receipt there's also
never any paper to wipe your windshield or check your leader this is ridiculous someone please help
me with this thing oh man to a man on sand lit you say you don't try to break people up and that your work is... Oh, I just read that. Not bad.
Sorry.
There were a lot of empty seats around Thanksgiving tables this
year thanks to the...
I'll just say it.
They've stylized Trump with a
capital R.
Like T-Rump. T-Rump.. Like T-Rump.
T-Rump.
Oh, T-Rump.
Yeah, thanks
to the T-Rump pandemic.
Over 70 just in
Letcher County.
How do you know that?
There are 70 people
dead in Letcher County from COVID-19.
That's what they're talking about.
Empty seats.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Oh, I get it now.
They're talking about COVID-19 deaths.
I know, Tanya.
That makes sense.
Dun, dun, dun.
Wait a minute.
Wait, bring the mood down.
How does this person know what's going on at people's Thanksgiving tables?
I've got a couple more here.
You too.
We're a little slow today, all right?
I'm sorry, Ty. I ain't got over my...
You got a barnacle on your head
I know
If you were mad about the Muslim attacks
On 9-11 but not upset by the
Domestic American terrorist attacks
On the U.S. Capitol on January 6th
Where the terrorists stabbed police
Officers with American flags
Blue Live Matter flags and Jesus Saves
Flags you're a total hypocrite
I hate terrorists foreign or
domestic as this person uh americorps vista
anyone who supports that type of domestic terrorism don't love america no matter who you are
the next one is basically had to have been written by the same person so i mean
it's time for americans to stand with the
rule of law again yeah keep going you'll see buddy where the fuck you be
and ask yourself would you have been proud to bust a police officer in the head with the point
of an american flag if you would have you proved my point and you support domestic terrorism and are a sad human.
Were police officers impaled on American flagpoles?
Have you watched how this has morphed?
Like, I was there.
It's fascinating because you really kind of get a glimpse into how history gets written and made.
Like, you know what i mean like ancient writers
they're like julius caesar stabbed him with a spear and his body was impaled like some roman
soldiers like i was that didn't happen i was there like it's the same thing here like we all saw this
happen on tv no police officer got fucking impaled on a flagpole with a Blue Lives Matter flag, an American flag,
and a, what was it, Don't Tread on Me flag or something? Yeah, show me the footage of this happening.
Is the United States of America going to side with Taiwan if it gets attacked?
Who we better be protecting is Israel.
Interesting understanding of politics.
To a certain woman, you keep flipping those burgers while I spend his money.
Have a nice day.
Wow.
Well, must have missed that one.
Sorry.
Last one.
I just wonder when Donald Trump's going to invite the Taliban to Mar-a-Lago for some steak and caviar.
going to invite the taliban to mar-a-lago for some steak and caviar you know i have a friend with uh parents snowboarding in florida right now and apparently
this week they drove past mar-a-lago just to see what was up they're just been driving around
florida i guess was it and they said that maybe they said it was outfitted with machine wait what they said there were people with machine guns everywhere
yes yeah they drove a normal thing is that like a normal
i was like what answer me this is what is mar-a-lago is it like martha's vineyard is it one
of those like well that's that's what I said.
I said I thought that was like a public resort that he just stays at.
But apparently it's his private resort.
So he bought a resort.
And now it's just his private resort.
Jesus.
My God.
I mean, I imagine that...
The only time I've ever seen anything like that was in uh italy at the
uh where the where's the pope lee of the vatican the vatican they did yeah all around the vatican
they had people with big guns look jester looking motherfucker hell yeah i wonder why the cube
people have never possied up and went to the Vatican. That seems like an obvious
choice for a place
to protest.
Because it's how they already got guns,
I guess. They're on the street corners.
They're not fucking around.
Christianity is fucking crazy.
It's just like, no, we've got our own little
state enclave here
with the military. In this country, it's more like no we've got our own little state enclave here with the military in this
country it's more important than health care well i think this is this is a satanic country yeah
yeah pretty bad oh this has a ad this page ofgy Peace has an ad for a light show at Fish Pond.
Lights on the pond.
Are you going to go?
It's so cute.
No, I won't be in town.
My hunch is it won't be as cute as you think it will be.
There's a house under there
and a catfish the size of a vole wall.
I know.
I love Fish Pond, though.
That's my favorite walk. It's every size of a wall. I know. I love Fish Pond, though. That's my favorite walk.
But it's every Saturday, though.
It's every Saturday in December?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
It says every evening until 11 p.m.
They'll have the lights up.
Well, maybe I'll go.
I'm going to have my sister there for a few days.
Yeah, I'll go, Tanya.
That'd be nice.
Take my sissy over nice. On Saturdays,
you get a photo op with Santa.
Free hot chocolate for children.
Oh, not for adults. What the fuck?
At Fish Pond?
They're not gonna give adults free hot chocolate?
At Fish Pond?
Can we get stuff for adults?
No, I need Fish Pond
returned
to its seedy glory.
That's where I used to go get my dicks up.
I don't want to go up there and have hot chocolate
and watch a goddamn light show.
People are still getting their
dicks sucked at Fish Pond though.
Not even with a live nativity scene, bro.
You wouldn't even do it if they had a
live nativity scene.
I would. I wouldn't go up to get
my dicks sucked while the live nativity thing was going on. i wouldn't go up to get my dick sucked while the live nativity
thing was going on i would do that at a different time but yeah tom's a good boy
yeah we think what do you take me for degenerate
oh hell Spishbond
um
well
who you got in the verses tonight
three six mafia bone thugs
do they they don't declare a winner do they
I mean not officially
but I think you know
they leave it to the fans to decide
I personally think
hmm I was about to say bone thugs but i've already read me and matt carter went and watched
bone thugs live when they reformed not reformed when they got back together together not once
they got saved and became a gospel girl once they reunited at this awful bar in Louisville,
I think it's called the Diamond Bar or something like that.
It's fucking terrible.
And they were playing East 1999 Eternal.
And you could tell they didn't know like three quarters of the songs on that.
But when First of the Month came on and Crossroads, they were perfect.
It was like he was listening to the damn CD.
So what
are you saying?
I don't know.
From what y'all told me about that show, I think I'd be
inclined to say
Three Six Mafia.
I like Bone Thugs, but
Three Six Mafia just got too many
songs for them, I think.
Is Bone Thugs a Christian band now?
No. A band?
Busy Bone
is on the bass. Busy Bone
just slapping the bass.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
Well,
I hope
they have fun, all of them. I just hope they have fun
All of them
I just hope everybody has fun
I just hope they have a good time
I hope everybody has a good time
Oh man
Alright well let's
Wrap this one up
Thanks for listening this week
Friends
If you would like to go and support us on Patreon,
it would sure make my Christmas a lot better, and yours.
It would make both of our Christmases.
Please do, because I need to recoup some of my barnacle losses.
So if you're going up your pledge,
you're getting somebody else to pledge, that'd be great.
Thank you.
Yeah, go get someone else to pledge.
There you go. That's what you
should do. If you're sitting around and being
like, man, I envy Terrence.
He's got so much shit to do this
Christmas season that it might drive him to insanity.
And you want something to do?
Go sign a friend up for Patreon.
That'd be great.
It'd be good for you.
Well,
anything else, folks?
I was working on a little bit for the Patreon pitch in the stylings of Travis Tritt's T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Uh-huh.
What'd you come up with?
Anything good?
I don't know if it's worked out enough.
Just, you know, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.
I was going to sing it out.
That's pretty good.
But I'm flat out now.
Well, we'll workshop it a little bit for next time.
All right.
All right.
Well, we'll see you next time.