Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 49: Hustling the Neon Pool Hall
Episode Date: April 26, 2018Tanya regales us with stories of her travels. Tarence has a good new TV show. Tom's not touching any of it....
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So, we might as well just get this one rolling.
Please.
Please?
I've got places to be.
I really do.
God help me.
I'm in town one week this month.
This is it.
This is my week.
April?
You're in town one week for April.
Well, I'm glad we were able to get you.
You're in high demand around here.
We had to call your management
to get you to come back to your own show.
That's all right.
Yeah, what has been going on?
Where have you been?
God.
Well, I drove here on a flat tire.
And no gas.
Yeah, to this house. I'm just like, I'm here on a flat tire. And no gas. Yeah, to this house.
I'm just like, I'm just like a fucking mess.
Because I was in California for a week.
Before that, I was in Chicago for a few days.
Which I hate to sound like a spoiled little brat.
I had to go to California.
Yeah.
California-wise.
And I got a sunburn. to California. Yeah. California-wise. And I got a sunburn.
Feels great.
Yeah.
I can kind of tell even though I got the lights real low in here.
I can tell I got a tan going on.
You got a good base tan.
You got a good base tan.
You did tan really well.
I mean, compared to me and Tom.
Yeah, I keep a tan about all year.
Tom gets freckles and I don't really change skin tone at all, really.
It's strange because I used to get very, very, very dark,
but now I just get freckly.
Really?
Yeah, I don't know.
There's pictures of me you'd think, well, never mind.
Is that a phenomenon?
You get older, you lose melanin?
I don't know.
Is that what helps you tan?
Maybe. Hell, I don't know. Is that what helps you tan? Maybe.
Hell, I don't know.
But I just feel like melanoma is probably going to set in.
Yeah.
All this time in the sun, I'm really going to regret one day.
My grandma had melanoma.
A lot of people in the desert get skin cancers because-
It's a barren, unforgiving wasteland.
Yeah.
No trees.
No trees. You're just sort of blasted with the sun every single day, unforgiving wasteland. Yeah. No trees. No trees.
You're just sort of blasted with the sun every single day, even in the winter.
You just have to pray that you look good in a floppy hat, I guess.
Well, also, you get a lot of wind out there, so I'm sure you just keep a cracked lip from wind chapping all the time, too, don't you?
Your knuckles crack.
Your lips crack.
It's an unforgiving landscape.
It was windy as fuck here yesterday, though.
Do you think people just stay dehydrated?
Oh, yeah.
Well, I will say that you do have a constant level of grit in your teeth, For the most part.
In New Mexico?
We're pretty hydrated people,
but probably not for much longer.
I mean, I have a theory that everyone's dehydrated most of the time.
That's why people's brains aren't functioning.
Oh, yeah.
Do y'all want any water or anything?
You just sat down and we just went right at it.
Yeah, water would be great. Yeah, you want some water? I'm good. sat down and we just went right at it. Yeah, water would be great.
Yeah, you want some water?
I'm good.
All right.
I don't need no hydration.
I don't buy into this theory.
Because people don't drink water.
They just drink pop and I don't even know what. Yeah, caffeine dehydrates you.
I mean, when my sister was pregnant, she literally straight up told her doctor,
I don't like water.
I don't understand the don't like water phenomenon.
I mean, her doctor was like,
it's not an option.
Your body's like 70% water or something.
And if you're not circulating clean water through,
your body's toxic.
So we had to like go buy a bunch of cucumbers
and lemons and some pitchers
and like help her prep a fucking water situation
in her house. So you had to basically you know
how like when you're trying to get your pet to take a pill or a medicine you'll put it in like
a cheese thing yeah basically you did that for your sister with water yeah you put it in like
a cucumbery yeah i'd get a bunch of infuser bottles And stuff a bunch of strawberries in it Wow
Swing for the fences I don't know
Yeah
Is she the one that lives in Charleston
She's back now but that was when she was in Charleston
That baby just turned three
This weekend can you believe that
Wow
Three years old
It's crazy
It's funny that
babies, really
just up until the age that you're
about 22,
you're changing pretty rapidly.
You know what I mean?
A lot going on. You look at a baby,
it's different from one
year to the next. It's different from one day to the next.
For real.
We've been about the same,
really, since we started this podcast.
I wish.
Look at my eyeballs.
I got so many wrinkles.
I got gray hair.
My hair's thinning.
Mentally.
I don't feel mentally the same either, buddy.
Philosophically.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I've regressed
you tom's regressed we're a snowball rolling downhill i feel like a snow i feel like i'm
going uphill i feel shaky yeah i mean i would say i'm on the cone i feel like i'm doing good for
myself right now actually you know uh this is maybe i mentioned this last time, but a friend one time helped me make two lists.
A list of, like, physical signs that I'm doing well.
Yeah.
Like, what do I do?
Like, what behaviors do I exhibit when I'm doing well?
And then a list of the things to look for when I know I'm not doing well.
Like, things aren't good.
Uh-huh.
And I'm, like, ticking off.
I've been on my good list for, like, a long, like, a stretch.
That's good.
I've been doing good. Like, I make my bed in the morning. Yeah. I eat breakfast. I've been on my good list for like a long stretch. That's good. I've been doing good.
Like I make my bed in the morning.
I eat breakfast.
You've been reading Jordan Peterson?
No.
I haven't been having as much, what do you call it?
Humors?
What's the word? Are you trying to say you're coming
yeah like uh promiscuous sex oh right that's on my bad list that's on your bad list yeah if i'm
having promiscuous sex i'm probably just not doing the best interesting yeah slut shaming yourself
yeah i mean i would not slut shame others but i just happen to know that if
i'm rushing into bed with people that um i have some personal work to do and um that's not my best
that's not my best look right that i should be able to meet my own needs first and get to know
people yeah at least a day or two. Yeah, 24 hours
is good.
Yeah.
I see what you're saying.
But I've been doing great.
Real good.
I've been sticking to a three date rule.
I'm fucking soaring.
A three date rule?
Yeah.
So three dates before you have sex.
Yeah.
That's probably
good.
I mean, it's like rom-com style.
As I started to say,
I think that's
standard.
Yeah, pretty standard.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Except when I was a Christian, it was like
a year or two. A year or two when you was a Christian it was like A year or two
A year or two when you're a Christian
We're saving ourselves for marriage
But what if they're Christians too
Can't you just meet in the middle or something
No
Dude it is really weird to think about
That there was a time in my life where I actively
Repressed the sexual urge
And succeeded at it
It's frightening, really.
Really, for...
I'm surprised you didn't shoot up no buildings.
Years and years and years.
The thing is, is that once you've had sex the first time,
you can never go back to actual abstinence.
It's impossible.
I mean, you know, unless...
Unless it's involuntary.
Unless it's involuntary.
You know, there's that. But you know what I'm saying.
Like, it would be
inconceivable to be like, I'm swearing off
sex, I'm becoming a priest.
Yeah, that's not. I mean,
they just tried that on New Girl. It didn't work.
New Girl?
There's a new season of New Girl on Netflix.
I'm really happy about it.
Maybe like a new person.
No, it's a TV show. You're talking about butt stuff.
Is it a common thing?
You sounded like we were at a
workshop.
In the Christian world for like
people to do butt stuff because
they think that's not actually
losing their virginity.
Yeah, you keep your virginity.
Yeah.
I had a buddy that got into butt
stuff, but he did it because he thought it was safer.
Like, he thought you couldn't contract anything from anal sex.
You can't get pregnant unless somebody checked.
Yeah, so it's slightly safer.
No, he wasn't even worried about that.
He was worried about, like, you know, catching AIDS, and he was just like, I didn't butt
because I thought it was safer.
You think the hole where where feces travels is safer
this is a much is a much uh safer route that is impressive yeah um well but so no you you you've
got more going on in the good column yeah i feel like i'm doing really good real and remember i
told y'all last week i tried to get in with a therapist and I almost ended
up on the Suboxone program?
Yeah.
Well, the therapy appointment went really well.
Oh, yeah.
I left feeling great.
Tell us a little bit about it.
Did she give you Suboxone?
No, I was not offered Suboxone, unfortunately.
I was going to bring it to Utah.
I was going to say, yes, I would very much like that and bring it here to this fine gathering.
To this episode.
Yeah.
We all get strung out on suboxone welcome
yeah she was a good listener i vented to her about a bunch of stuff and uh and she listened
and she uh had no you know she didn't no judgment she wasn't gonna go tell nobody so that felt good and uh you think people really uh people definitely don't oblige by that like
they definitely don't adhere to that she's definitely telling somebody in her life that
she won't say your name she'll be like i've got this one patient she she did what was nice about
it is i just got to talk about topical things she didn't like
i mean it was the first appointment so i don't know how this really goes but she wasn't like
when's the first time you experienced that feeling you know like i wasn't trying to
all that howdy doody bullshit here i'm just like trying to where is this at mchc okay and i told
her i was like you know i'm not like in a crisis or anything there's nothing terrible going on but
i just want to establish care just in case I mean
Fucking capitalism has fallen I just assume
Crisis are on the way
And she just kind of looked at me
But mostly
She gave you a no for sure
Yeah she was like oh yeah yeah
Um
But I just talked to her about how I just don't want to deal with
Men anymore and I know that's an unhealthy
Feeling of not wanting to be around men at all.
Right.
It's really not an option.
Is this the first time this week you've been around men?
No, I'm only dealing with men that I'm getting paid to deal with currently.
So you all fall under that bracket, luckily.
Wow.
Wow.
At least that's what I told her.
No, I have to deal with men at work all the time.
Yeah.
And I had to deal with a lot of men when I was traveling.
Yeah, tell us about your Google talk and your Uber talk.
What?
Didn't you give talks at Google and Uber this week?
That's what I was told.
I wish.
I don't know a thing about Google or Uber.
I will tell you.
Doing sexy sex ed at Google headquarters could be fun
That'd be awesome I would totally do that
No that is
So much more fun than what I did
What did you do?
Bless you
Do you think I'm allergic to cats?
No
I want a cat
Do you only sneeze when you come over here?
No you haven't sneezed all day
I wasn't sneezing last time
No
It's a
It's something in the air right now
Because I've been fucking miserable
Yeah I am assuming
That now that I'm back my allergies are going to get rough
I need to go get a new inhaler
Yeah
Okay well let me just get back i had an
uber story okay so i was riding uber pool to a witch store across chicago called saint augustine
really uh shout out saint augustine's on the south side of chicago okay a great witch establishment
and i have a whole story about that too is it a bar?
no it's a witch, it's a spirituality oh nice
so you buy like Ouija boards and tarot cards
I did buy some tarot cards for a friend
did you divine the cards?
divine them?
no I asked because it was a new deck
I wanted to buy this a friend
a tarot deck
but I wanted to because I was on this travel trip I wanted to buy this, a friend, a tarot deck. And, um, but I wanted to, because I was on this travel trip, I wanted to use them first
to like check them out.
Cause it's just like a new deck.
And so I asked them like, is it okay for me to put my energy on these cards before I give
them away?
And so they asked me a bunch of followup questions to figure it out, you know, and that was not
Before you go and do that, there's a couple of things we have for you.
So they, no, but they said, sure. You sure, if you don't want your energy on them,
you can sage them and cleanse them before you hand them off.
But if the person you're giving them to is new to tarot,
it might be good to have your energy on them.
That might be okay if you're in a good place
and you feel like you're able to put a good energy on them.
And you are.
I am. I'm in a great place. you feel like you're able to put a good energy on them and you are i am i'm in a great place three day i'm in my mouth i'm three
day tanya over here i'm doing fucking good nice my couch is gonna have good energy what is the
transmission vehicle of energy here are we talking touching being in someone's presence
oh yeah i think i pick up i pick you don't pick up energies from people
yeah i mean that may not be how you articulate it but if someone's in a raw ass mood like it
don't take me a second to start feeling the right the irritation feeding off of somebody's yeah or
if someone's like overly sarcastic or you know just any any i pick up things real yeah i'm very sensitive to other people's energies
right right and i'm so empathic what was the general energy of chicago oh god it was cold
the whole fucking time one day i literally stayed in the airbnb all day long and i just
ordered deep dish pizza delivered that's pretty cool that's what i did i sat in the apartment that's pretty cool just being alone was kind of nice but um yeah so i i was in the uber pool on my way to
st augustine's and there's a whole nother story about the store once i get there but this guy
guy picks me up and it was actually pretty weird he almost drove down a one way i'm in the back
seat and he almost drove down a one the wrong way a one-way street and he whipped
it back really quick almost got us t-boned and cussed really loud the funniest shit the funniest
interactions to me just out in the real world or whatever are ones where like someone is like
fucking up and like i don't know like there's a barrier between you maybe they're on the service
industry side of things and they're like fucking up and pulling you into it and uh they either
double down or they get really apologetic yeah well he just didn't i mean he was like god damn
one ways and like whipped it and the car behind us blew the horn and i was just like
i mean we were fine so i just like and he was just like sorry about that and then he just went on he didn't say nothing else and i didn't say nothing either i
didn't give a fuck but then it's uber pull so then he gets another call and we go pick up this other
guy oh so uber pull it's like you uh you just sort of like it's cheaper but it takes longer because
they will pick up other people along the route it It's like a choose-your-own-adventure book. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty sweet.
And so the next we go pick up this other guy,
and he just gets out of a car into this car.
He gets out of another car, and he's got his hoodie pulled tight.
Do you think people go from Uber pool to Uber pool?
If it's a choose-your-own-adventure.
Maybe he didn't like the other Uber he was in.
Like the energy on that Uber?
Well, I found out about him later. So he gets in the uber pool and he just don't say much in the back
seat we're both in the back seat right old guy still driving and oh boy he's passed out he passes
out in the sea and so i don't think much of it i'm like you know it's like a middle of the day
chicago you know right i don't know what you do with your time it's rainy outside hell i'd like
to take a nap myself right but then the longer he's asleep he's leaning toward me until he's on my shoulder
and so i nudge him off i just like give him a nudge you think that was intentional or do you
think he was like i think he was really asleep so he ends up on my shoulder slowly and so i
nudge him off wait wait so he gets out of another car yeah hoodie pulled tight yeah gets in your car and immediately falls asleep yeah okay so i'm
sitting there and you know i kind of see him out of my peripheral leaning toward me closer and
closer and then i'm just like watching him so i'm like if he lands i'm gonna have to shove him so i
shove him back to the side of the car and he just kind of like shakes awake and just like sits up he don't say nothing
so i don't say nothing either i'm like okay i'll give you a pass motherfucker but then he does it
again he falls asleep again and at first he's just sitting upright for a while but then he starts
falling again and he hits my shoulder again so i push him this time and i'm like bubby this ain't
nap time are you okay and he looks at me and he was like, when did you get in here?
And I was in the car when he got in.
Damn.
He's higher and goddamn crude oil.
He's been to a few suboxone trials, therapy trials.
Well, turns out not.
He was just really sleepy because this is what happened.
He could have narcolepsy.
I was texting my friend at the time and so I just told her what was happening.
And she said, because I was starting, my initial instinct was that I was getting angry.
I was getting pissed off and I was about to threaten this man.
Because, you know, I'm on my fucking edge with men right now anyway.
And I'm in the car with these two fucking idiots.
And so I'm trying to get to the witch store to handle my business.
Me and Tom are stand-ins for the two idiots in this vehicle.
That's a metaphor.
Start falling asleep on you in the middle of your story.
And I sent her a pic, like, of him in the background,
and she's like, damn, is he okay?
And when she said, is he okay, I thought, you know,
that is how I should ask him if he's okay.
And so I push him off the second time, and I'm like, are you okay?
And he looks at me, and he me he was like um and that's when
he said when'd you get in here damn and i was like dude i was in here when you got in here and he
said what i was like i was in this car when you got in it are you okay do you need to go to the
hospital he was like no no no no no i don't need to go to the hospital and then he sat there for a
second he said where are you from?
We're on the south side of Chicago.
Jesus Christ.
I was like, well, I'm from Kentucky.
I'm just visiting.
But you don't look so hot.
He was like, I just worked a 12 hour shift.
I was like, well, I feel that.
That sucks, man.
But just you can't sleep on my shoulder in this car.
And he was like, yeah, I'm sorry about that.
And then he's quiet for a second.
Then he said, you got a boyfriend? So it turns out your first instincts were correct here. And I was like, no, I'm sorry about that. And then he's quiet for a second. Then he said, you got a boyfriend?
So it turns out your first instincts were correct here.
And I was like, no, I don't.
Oh, he's like, you think he might have been like one of those guys that like rubs their dick on people's butts in the train or on the subway?
What's the name for those people?
Cats are basically these kind of people too.
Wait, no.
No, no, no, no.
Like, you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
There's like a pathology. Predators. These are no, no, no. Like, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
There's like a pathology.
Predators.
These are predators.
I know that.
I'm not making an indictment on the behavior.
I'm just saying there's a name for them.
You are making an indictment on the behavior.
I hope so.
Yeah, that's what you want.
Excuse me.
Yeah, that's what I meant. I see what you're saying.
Anyway, so I had to have the whole, and you know, and then I just flashed all the times
that I've told a guy,
yeah, I have a boyfriend, just so he would leave me the fuck alone.
Right.
But now, you know, I'm on this fucking, I'm on edge about it anyway,
and I'm not going to fucking give nobody reason to do, like, I'm not going to lie.
I have to lie.
And I was just like, no, I don't.
He said, well, can I have your number?
I said, no, you can't.
And then he just looked at me.
I said, you just passed out on me in the back of an Uber, man.
Maybe he was doing that intentionally. I don't i don't i don't actually think so because
then yeah he was definitely so he was trying to he was trying to graze you he said how do you not
have a boyfriend and so then i was like kind of i was like i have a girlfriend and he was like oh
oh that's why you don't want me and then he started listen to this i shit you not
he started talking about jesus he fucking started talking to me about jesus this is 100
of character on this podcast and it wasn't even he he just said well he just started talking about
how he's blessed oh he's like you know if jesus loves you you're blessed yeah and he said
and he said you're blessed too and i was like yeah i know and you're like i'm going to a witch store
yeah i'm blessed damn but then he then like the last five minutes were really nice he was just
talking to me about um how he had to pull a 12-hour shift and how much he likes and we talked
about kentucky we talked about chicago how much he likes, we talked about Kentucky, we talked about Chicago,
how much he loves Chicago.
He's like, yeah, I grew up on the South Side, I love Chicago.
And I was like, yeah, South Side's got a bad rap.
And he was like, oh, yeah, you can't listen to that shit.
You can't listen to that.
He was like, fucking Chicago's the best city in the world.
So then he was like repping hard for Chicago, which I appreciated.
And he like said some funny things about Kentucky but I was
like no you know most people don't have horses funny funny about that um and then he was talking
to me about this like tattoo uh some famous tattoo shop that has a tv show that's in Chicago
um I don't think masters maybe yeah I don't know if that's it.
I know there's like a million of those.
It was like black something, black ink something.
And I was like, oh, do you have any artwork from there?
And he's like, no, I can't afford that.
Right.
But it's really good.
I like a lot of tattoo shops have like plays on ink or writing or black.
There's usually like a black in there, black gold.
Real original.
Well, what I like about this guy is he's at least keeping it a buck you know what i mean like when you're in the back of an uber
somebody you're trying to like fall asleep on you can be anybody in the world that's true he just
was his he was himself maybe to a fault but well but but while he was while he was doing this fall asleep
thing the guy the guy driving could see was looking at me in the rearview mirror and he
stopped twice and said you get up front and i was like no i'm not getting up front i'm fine
damn fucking fine back that's uh sophie's choice and by the end of it one fucked up dude or the
other yeah right i'm like you nearly got me t-bone bitch you want me to sit up there with you
like he's the portrait right and by the end of it the guy and the guy driving was laughing
at our conversation he's like kept laughing at us sounds like a very keen sounds like a
an experience you would have in America 2018.
Am I right?
Yeah.
Sounds like you could go and write an op-ed about this.
There's all kinds of things to unpack about our current, you know.
White girl from Kentucky, black boy from south side of Chicago,
ham it up in the back of a fucking Uber.
This is a david brooks
column waiting to happen in my opinion anyway i made it to st augustine's and it was like 30
minutes before closing so i was like hurrying up to get my crystals and my shit together
got a little got a little um amethyst. Kia.
Da-dum-dum.
Boom, boom, boom.
Crystal ball.
Uh-huh.
What does amethyst do?
What kind of energy does that impart?
Amethyst rock.
It's a good question.
I'd have to look in my books.
Right.
I'd have to look through my papers, my business papers. I think right off it's virility.
Virility?
It's always virility with those rocks.
No, a lot of them are just like
romance and
whatever.
It's like
I think that villages back in the day
used to have those kind of like
they would get like amethyst and bury it outside of town
and then like eight people would get pregnant that year
and they'd be like this is the vir like eight people would get pregnant that year.
And they'd be like, this is the virility rock.
This is the virility.
God.
We should do that.
We should go plant your amethyst up on Town Hill.
Well, I swear by, we're not planting my amethyst nowhere.
I paid a lot for it.
And I swear by our friend getting pregnant because of a spring equinox fertility ceremony that we had.
Whoa.
No way.
Carrie, yeah, she'll tell you.
That's how she got pregnant. Oh, that's awesome.
Because she spent a year trying to get pregnant.
And then for the spring equinox, we had a huge fertility ceremony up at Sarah's.
The timing does line up.
We put eggs on the fucking altar and everything.
And she was pregnant within a month.
Wow.
Now, put that in your fucking pocket.
Y'all are heavy into this.
I thought y'all were just like smoking pot
and like playing with tarot cards.
We did that too.
God damn, I didn't know y'all had alters and shit.
Yeah, that child is, that's a healthy one-year-old baby.
Let's do that over here.
Let's do that for an episode.
Let's get someone pregnant on the podcast.
Through immaculate conception matt through immaculate conception
fuck yeah lord anyway okay i need to round this out i get to st augustine's i'm like getting all
my stuff together they remember me from the last time i was in there which was when i went was on
the season of the bitch show um because it's near ambria's house that's how i knew about it
which i did get to catch up with those people for that fucking, for like an abortion bowl-a-thon.
Oh yeah, you told me about that.
The bowl-a-tariat.
That's pretty sweet.
Brilliant.
I loved it.
They had a big, this event I went to was Seize the Means of Reproduction.
I saw you holding those signs.
I just loved it so much.
And it's just so, it was just such a thing I could, I would never get to do here, you know?
Is this like Chicago DSA?
I'm sure there's more than one DSA chapter in Chicago.
Yeah, there is.
It was like one of the Chicago DSA chapters events.
It was really cool.
And like women led it.
It was beautiful.
That's pretty awesome.
I was really loved.
I could be there.
Anyway, so the St. Augustine's is closing.
The staff is cleaning up.
And I'm asking directions to the train.
And they're all disagreeing about how I get to the train because I just had this pool situation, Uber situation.
I was really not rushing to get back in a fucking Uber.
Right.
And it's more expensive anyway.
So they're trying to tell me how to get to the train.
And I'm like, well, maybe I'll just hang around Chinatown for a little while because they're like near Chinatown.
And so finally, a woman comes up back and she's like, are you in a hurry?
And I was like, no.
This is right before this Seize the Means of Reproduction event at the bar. But after you've got your amethyst and other stuff yeah i've got all my stuff i've
got my shopping done so she's like we'll just wait till we close up the store and i'll just
take you to the train station and i was like oh great that's so nice because it was like however
far and so i sit around they're cleaning up around me i just like hang out in the store for a while
longer and then we go get her car and i find out she owns the store She's the owner. She's the fucking supreme of this witch store. She's telling me about all this spirituality history in Chicago
She gives me a tour of Chinatown. She takes me to old China. She was like
This is the only restaurant that was here when I was a kid
La la la la and like old Chinatown Chuck gives me the owner of the store drives me all around Chinatown
Oh, that's that it was so awesome
And then I was like asking her all these questions about tarot and her own spirituality and her
rituals.
I mean, she's an old witch.
And so.
Are you getting at that she's a capitalist small business owner?
I want to start trying to pen pal with her.
Yeah, that would be pretty tight.
But she actually lives in indiana
on a farm she grows all the herbs that they sell in the store you should try to communicate with
her via like uh yes patronize i'm not patronizing you i'm saying that test her knowledge test her
skills here yeah let's see how good a witch is sort of like how that roy d mercer how big a boy
are you like how good a witch are you
i love that shit how bad a witch are you um anyways that's pretty that's pretty badass yeah
she was great it was awesome i got like a personal tour of chinatown that's pretty, that's pretty badass. Yeah. She was great. It was awesome.
I got like a personal tour of Chinatown.
That's pretty badass.
From a white witch.
Um, what do you mean white witch?
Like how Saruman was?
Okay.
That meant she was a white lady.
She was a white lady.
Touring me of Chinatown.
Gotcha.
Then I bought a bunch of ginseng candy at a Chinese candy store.
Oh, nice. What's ginseng candy? I I haven't tried it yet I should have brought it here
is it candy that tastes like ginseng
ginseng's for real
candy made of ginseng
it really is
oh
people love that shit you can make a living off of that yeah he's like
um like you're acting i'm still like sell it online
ginseng he would like get moss and like sell it online ginseng is a classic appalachian hustle
yeah there's like a big market out there for like appalachian shit like every time I go to my aunt Sharon's house her fucking husband Dale actually I don't they've
been together 30 years I don't think they're married he always makes me come to his closet
and look at all the sang he's got it doesn't matter drying out in his closet I think it's
$1,200 worth of sang right here yeah shortened it to sang. Sang. $1,200 for sang in his closet.
One of my favorite things
is when people abbreviate words
that don't need abbreviating.
Oh, shit.
My sang.
That's so funny.
Honey, why you not got grand a sang last summer?
Well, I think we're overlooking something
in that your white witch
has given us a viable hustle model.
Fuck yeah, we could move that shit up to Chicago.
We could use phrases like
move that shit up to Chicago.
Me and Tom could finally live out our dream
of being organized crime figures
but also social justice warriors.
The ginseng candy came from the Chinese store
and actually, they had raw ginseng that was
like a hundred dollars an ounce or something it was crazy expensive in there and so I asked her
I was like what do people do with that raw ginseng because they had it all behind the counter um and
she was like oh they cook with it you make medicine I was like cool and I said yeah where
I come from like we you know it grows wild and people um she's like where are you from and I
said Kentucky and she was like no no no she looked she just shook her head so long i just felt like she shook her head for five minutes
and was like wisconsin wisconsin is the best ginseng fucking saying this chinese woman
well yeah she was such a purist she was like
no she just was not having it.
I was like, oh, well.
I don't know.
I mean, I've never been to Wisconsin.
Apparently, they have the best ginseng, according to this Chinese woman.
The thing is, I think a lot of people just latch on to the whole Appalachian thing, whatever.
So you could like, it really doesn't matter what it is, ginseng, fucking fiddle.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
We'll just go pluck goddamn dandelions
and just tell them it's for
virility.
We could put that as a Patreon premium.
Pay $10 a month,
we'll send you a bag of sang.
Got that good sang?
We'll just send home season stamps.
Right, right.
Let's hustle that shit. Let's run.
Let's hustle that shit.
We could run dope off Patreon.
We do need a new hustle.
This is a pretty good one.
It's a podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah, so far.
Pretty good.
So, damn.
Well, I'm sorry.
It sounds like you had some bad times and good times just like any other
yeah that's any trip i would say yeah i got to swim in a pool in april that was cool that's in
california oh yeah i was it was california uneventful um yeah i mean i i had to i had to
have a four-hour dinner with people who work at Silicon Valley about JD Vance.
That sucked.
Oh, hell yeah.
That was painful for me.
Did they know JD?
Did they rip JD a little bit?
You all.
Silicon Valley.
Were they like, do you know him?
That's got to be the first to go.
Yeah.
Do you know him?
Yeah. I kind of feel like this was probably not an original observation in any way,
but it does kind of feel like innovation and creativity in general
has just sort of stalled out in Silicon Valley.
I mean, all the shit like Facebook and stuff, love it or hate it,
it's still like a – it's sort of in some ways revolutionized the
means of communication in some ways for better for worse it it i don't know well facebook's just
under so much fire right now yeah did you see the zack what did he do today i don't know i just
thought maybe you might have seen oh no no i didn't see him there i saw someone that works closely
with him i i don't even know if
i she made sure i knew she had been on his private jet oh damn is that what everyone talks about out
there apparently i couldn't tell you i i designed out so many times they at least they fed me good
thai food you know like for anybody who's like really iffy about the whole guillotine thing
i don't even think we'd really like need to I don't even think we'd really need to go through with that.
Who's on the fence about guillotines?
If you're on the fence about guillotines, visit Google.
Some people are a little skittish about it.
I actually did look up to see if I could do a public tour of Google or Facebook or one of them just for curiosity.
And you can't do it.
Well, I was going to say, if we don't want to do the guillotine thing, maybe we've got a guillotine shortage or whatever.
You've just got to erect a massive wall, dismantle the border wall, put it all around Silicon Valley to where nothing gets in and nothing gets out.
And then just starve them out yeah i guess the soylent supply runs until the soylent supply runs out i guess i mean i don't know i mean i'm saying we don't even have to
think about it anymore just cover it up wall it off here's here's the thing here's here's the
thing that i think is funny you mentioned that their creativity stalled out.
You know what it has?
When Elon Musk, who's looked at as this goddamn visionary and whatever,
is building flamethrowers.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Yes, exactly.
It's like, are you still trying to get to Mars or some shit?
He built flamethrowers?
He built a flamethrower.
He's selling them for 500 bucks a pop just direct to people.
Yeah.
How's that legal?
It probably shouldn't be.
Is that?
So we're trying to get gun reform going here,
and Elon Musk is starting to sell flamethrowers.
Oh, somebody will die at the hands of an Elon Musk flamethrower.
Not a doubt in my mind.
It may have already happened if they've already been shipped out.
Oh, my God.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Just wall it off.
Well, he's in Europe or something, ain't he?
That won't nip him in the bud.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Well, you'd have to send a special SWAT team.
For the assassination.
I'm just afraid to even get into all the weird conversations I had to have in that.
Y'all just wouldn't.
A fly on the wall.
Could you imagine?
What were some of the high notes?
I mean.
Could you imagine the video of Osama Bin Laden, then busted into his house and killing him and everything?
If it was elon musk
that's a good idea right it's a good movie um sorry what were you saying
chum says we got him finally i'm not gonna show the body
i'm not gonna show the body this is amer not going to show the body. This is America.
We don't do that.
That's a good Trump impression.
I hadn't heard your Trump voice before.
I'm just going to put him out to sea.
I ain't going to show the body.
That was pretty good.
I'm into it.
They were basically, while I was in this dinner
Our podcast came up in my brain a lot
Times where I thought you all were just
Being
Hyperbole is that the word?
Hyperbolic?
Were we vindicated?
We were highly vindicated
Damn
Y'all are more cutie than I am
That's clear
Only because we have brain disease explain uh well well it's particularly
early on when we were when we were really pissed at people who were just asking questions
you know just asking the questions and that's how all this was delivered to me you know, just asking the questions. And that's how all this was delivered to me. You know, we just have questions.
But all of those innocent questions were forcing me to defend all rule life.
And it took me a while until I finally just stopped and said, you know, you're acting Like they wanted me to defend
This thing that's clearly
Never going to work
Uh huh
Yet
We don't know any
Version of history on this planet
Where there were not rural places
Supporting urban centers
Right
That's not
That's as old as we are yeah this is you are
asking me to to defend against this utopian urban mecca that you have created that you think is the
only way even though there's no evidence for it right am i crazy no no you're not crazy go off
tanya every all across the globe they're just well i think if
they had what they if they had their way i think that they would probably just turn rural america
into like a sort of industrial wasteland where like massive robots just sort of harvest everything
and like the only people out there are just people sort of hiding out from drones where they just want they just want it to be hills covered in solar panels exactly that's what they
want that is really what they just want that's literally what they want yeah they want our land
for their server things those like huge server farms right and so i was literally having to pitch
high speed i was like literally which this has been pitched to me
and i've never really took the bait but you know i spit it back out there because i'm trying to
fucking raise money here i don't know what the fuck to do and so i literally pitched to these
people you know this whole high speed wi-fi rail using all of our intricate railroad systems so
that we can just like easily get to Charleston and Lexington and
fucking Roanoke and wherever these cities are so we can like people can live out here really
cheaply and healthily what was your response but you can work in the urban centers they were so
into it I knew it so into it I fucking knew it I served that although I was proud of myself I
fucking flipped my collar when I left there like so proud of myself for coming up with this bullshit they were gonna eat up you know
yeah yeah internet rails i'm into it yeah yeah it's like you clock in when you get on the wi-fi
is going you're already getting your email going on the way there two hours you know an hour and a
half these people love productivity they do they do all human life is just like valued on
your output ability right right uh but anyway i mean they said all kinds of fucked up stuff
about how you know the opportunities their kids get in silicon valley
such as i'm almost terrified they're gonna hear this you know um sometimes
what i've what i found and me and tom talked about this on the episode
last week is that like it really sucks because it's just like what is the alternative is it like
large-scale um sort of federally funded like public works projects like amtrak or some shit
i mean like because you won't really get a lot of people saying that, except for the Stalinist left.
Another thing from my trip I wanted to bring back to you all was from the Chicago conference I was at.
It was a policy link, like an equity summit.
There was like 4,000 people there.
I could not believe it.
I thought it was going to be like this shitty policy wonk thing that I didn't want to be at.
But it just ended up being mostly pretty cool and a lot of beautiful people anyway one of the panels i went to the whole time i was thinking about you all
because i was like you all would have been really into this yeah for for two guys you don't like
spending time around unless you're paid you sure think about us a lot i know it's crazy well you're
my you're my socialist friends no i don't sit around and talk about fucking socialist utopians with anyone else.
This isn't something I get to do.
Although I joked recently.
I don't even want to get into this joke.
But I fucking joked about Tom calling me a champagne socialist recently in that bio he wrote for us.
Right.
And so the person I told it to has now been like throwing it up and joking about it to me.
Like has fed it back to me so many times and now you feel like sort of disgusted i hate it i'm so upset about it but i thought it was cutesy right and now i'm like eating it
anyway i saw i was on this panel which and it was uh like new economy panel and then you know it's
this huge room like so many thousands
like 2,000 people in this fucking room.
Is there a guy there named Manheimer Steamroller?
So there's one person on the panel
is like advocate for UBI.
They're like sending home
the universal basic income.
And then there's another guy on the panel
who is he's on there to talk about
federal job guarantees
which i had not really right i hadn't heard that language before really yeah right right like i
hadn't looked into this but these aren't socialists right these are we're talking these are probably
silicon valley wonks no this was in chicago oh i'm sorry this isn't silicon valley this was in
chicago they i would say i mean they're kind of social justice-y policy wonks
I would guess, but I wouldn't say
they're that left. They're like
liberals that are trying
to meet the DSA left halfway
and be like democratic
social democrats.
Progressives.
Another guy was a fight for 15
organizer, which obviously I have a ton of respect for
and we need $25 an hour, so.
Here's what I say.
Here's what I say.
I don't, 15, no one in America can raise a family
on $15 an hour, anywhere you are, nowhere.
What I've come to, what I've come to,
a fun thing that I like to do when I go to the city.
Above the poverty line.
Is I like to play a little game called
The Communist Dictator, and you just identify properties and places that you think look really great like that you really
like and uh you know you pretend like you're just turning it over in a tv show form it would be like
property brothers but it'd be like expropriator brothers right like it would be
like we walk into a place like oh this looks nice and then you turn and look at the camera and say
it's for the people you know and then you appropriate you you know you then you go
steal it from the bartender says it's under new management for the people
that's the thing that's the thing like you know it's really important to keep that in mind it's
like communism isn't doesn't have to be this utopia of like necessarily creating all this
new infrastructure although that'd be great communism for me is taking all the nice shit
that already exists and just turning it over, universalizing it,
turning it over to the people.
So it's like, yeah, I don't know.
Expropriated Brothers. Watch HGTV.
Coming to your
TV soon.
But except it's called...
What's the show called? Expropriated Brothers.
And you turn to the camera and say,
it's for the people. That's your catchphrase.
I turn to the camera and it zooms in on me and I go, it's for the people. That's your catchphrase. It's for the people. I turn to the camera and it zooms in on me and I go, it's for the people.
I mean, this is like, I mean, I would watch a reality show that was just turning over
third homes to homeless people.
Yeah.
You know, like.
Yeah.
Not even that.
Not even that.
You walk into a massive mansion and the fucking husband and wife.
Ah, no, no.
They're like fucking blindfolded and someone
kicks them in the back down the fucking steps.
Oh my god! This is like the Purge. Shut the fuck up
Daniel. And then the camera
zooms in real close to my face and I go
It's for the people. Oh my god.
You know I always, you remember those
You remember those shows
Extreme Makeover Home Edition?
This is
actually a good alternative because i could never
really get emotionally attached to those shows like they build these huge dream houses for these
families right and my next thought would be like how the fuck are they gonna pay property taxes on
that making seven dollars an hour yeah you know what i mean yeah no but it was funny because i
was in knoxville this weekend and the thing that made me think about that was I was in Knoxville this past weekend,
and there was this, not in quite downtown Knoxville,
but pretty close to downtown Knoxville,
there's this really massive castle-like building.
I guess it's like the home for this news media,
sort of like WIMT thing.
And right next door to it is a steel workers' union,
or I think it's a plumbers' union, actually.
But the building is so run down you know and then next to it you've got this elaborate ornate mansion
it's just like the the the the goal is you get those people to take that you know that's it's
that simple really yeah it's pointing down yeah it's raining really hard right now i know you think you'll be able to pick this up on the podcast
and hear that it's raining.
I can hear it a little bit.
We live in a rainforest.
Yeah.
It's typical.
Yeah.
I didn't bring my raincoat, though.
I like living in a rainforest.
I do, too.
My parents were absolutely astounded when they came out here two years ago.
We were walking down the street.
From the desert.
Yeah, my mom was like,
there's moss growing on the side of this building.
I'm like, yeah.
Should have brought it to my house.
I got a mushroom growing in my bathroom.
It's everywhere.
We get like six to eight inches of rain in New Mexico, in Hobbs.
We get like 60 here.
Six to eight a year?
A year.
Yeah.
Six to eight inches of rain a year.
A year. We get that in a inches of rain a year. A year.
We get that in a weekend.
It's crazy.
Yep.
We got that, like, in the last since we've been recording.
It's really not...
Yeah, it's really funny.
Like, when I was in high school, like, that is when I first encountered the idea of, like, overpopulation.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think it's a stupid idea.
like overpopulation you know like when you and like you know what i mean like i think it's a stupid idea but i had a very rosy eyed sort of uh um you know i was just like oh there's plenty
of room for everybody like we you know i live in the desert you can just see in every fucking
direction as far as the eye can see it's like there's plenty of room for people to live here
but i guess at that time i couldn't really hadn't really figured out that people also need water.
Details.
It's just not sustainable for places like... Details, details.
Good word.
Anybody talk about sustainability on those panels you were on?
I'm sure.
I don't know.
It was mostly...
I mean, they got into an argument about UBI.
And they were right.
I mean, I agreed with the guy that universal basic income runs the risk of making inequity worse if it is truly universal and doesn't take into account need.
and doesn't take into account need because if everyone just gets 30 grand a year right the people who already have wealth will invest it and get more wealth and the people without wealth will
have to consume it immediately and so it just like it will just like yeah whatever it will balloon
it's for the people and so they were
fighting about that
today we're stalking
that Warren Buffett
we're gonna kill him
and redistribute
his assets
but the thing is
you don't even have
to do that
just send him to
send him to Silicon Valley
with the walls around it
Mr. Buffett
you have a choice
but the God love
the fight for 15 guy
was just like people deserve a job
They care about
People want to make a living
I'm so embarrassed when I use my EBT card
And I'm just like
Is that what we wanted these 3,000 people in here to hear
Is that it's really embarrassing
To use a fucking food stamp card
Because it shouldn't be embarrassing
We should all have a fucking food stamp card God damn it This is bullshit And that's we should all have fucking food stamp card god damn it yeah this is bullshit and so and then i was trying to tell the
girl next to me quietly so i wasn't is that i mean i obviously i support labor organizing and
especially low-income workers like the fight for 15 has been doing but $15 ain't enough and that rhetoric is just fucking the root of it is
literally just that people are people should have to fight and scrap for everything they fucking have
people deserve a right to work and be fucking have their bodies broken down and that we're
like our value i mean it literally the rhetoric literally is like, people deserve dignity.
As in, you only get dignity if you have output.
If you are able to work full-time at McDonald's, that equals dignity.
Man, before we get too far away from this, me and my sisters,
we're all old enough to remember when they had the actual Monopoly money food stamps,
and that you didn't have an EBT card.
Oh, yeah.
And my mom would always send us to the grocery store with them.
So we'd play hot potato, who's going to take them.
Ain't nobody want to go be seen with food stamps at the fucking grocery store.
Yeah.
That's weird.
I don't know.
It's like the thing with the jobs guarantee, all that stuff.
It seems to me like a lot of work when you could just make me communist dictator.
Oh, God.
And then I just.
Well, and then this weekend.
A name you can trust.
A name you can trust.
This weekend I met some new people who are friends of friends.
And I was wearing my necklace that says ungovernable.
And so this guy was like, does that say ungovernable and so this guy was like does that say ungovernable and I said yeah
he said are you one of those people I was like oh so I leaned in I was like who are those people
tell me more he was like you hate the government and I was like well I don't even know how to
answer that because what I really want is more government, which is a fucked up thing to say to people who haven't imagined a different government.
And it's hard to imagine.
Who has the luxury to try to imagine a different governing body when all of our evidence points toward horror?
Right.
Like literal horror. Right. Like literal horror.
And so I was, anyway, I wasn't trying to get into it with him, but I was just like.
You think he was a right winger?
No, I mean, he's gay.
Hopefully not.
But I don't know.
Why gay men are kind of maybe sometimes the worst.
I don't know.
I didn't have.
As a gay Alex Jones looking guy Yeah
No I don't think
I take offense to that
He's a right winger
But I didn't want to
Get into it
Yeah I was just like not exactly
I don't hate the government but I'm pretty
Unsatisfied with our current situation Like I'm sure Most people are exactly. I don't hate the government, but I'm pretty unsatisfied with our current situation.
Like, I'm sure most people are.
Like, I just don't know.
It's like a mental calculus.
It's like, do I really care about trying to change this person's mind?
It's like when people say, do you hate the government?
I mean, that's like a pretty...
That's one of those gotcha things.
If you're a known socialist, all your people, all your buddies that aren't, like, try to get you with.
Right.
It's like, actually, I'm really into creative governance.
Let's talk about it.
You know, what am I supposed to do?
Like, whip out a fucking scroll?
Well, no.
That's why just go with communist where, you know, you can envision a point in which the state sort of withers away.
Yeah, I totally agree.
You've got to vaguely wave your hand like that, too.
That was my way out of the conversation.
I said, I'm just kind of a socialist.
And he was like, hmm.
And he just didn't want to hear any more after that, which I assumed.
So that's why I just kind of trailed it out.
If you sub out socialist for communist though yeah that conversation ends even
quicker so yeah see for me uh the answer to the question is yes absolutely but you know government
not government per se but this government and the vast majority of governments on this planet
yeah not all of, but most of them.
Yeah.
Governments are like Christians.
If they were only Christ-like.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, did I, wait, did I tell you all this?
What?
Oh, God.
The hottest take.
I've heard the hottest, hottest poppin' take.
I don't know. I don't know about that.
On the first panel that I was at at this fucking equity conference, they had a Lakota woman.
And it was about gender justice and the racial justice movement or something like that.
And she straight up said there was no, this is what she said.
She straight up said there was no, this is what she said.
She said there was no gender-based violence in my culture documented before the church showed up.
The church, Christians, white settler Christians showed up.
They brought the, they brought teachings of monogamy and homophobia.
Sipplis.
Smallpox.
Not good.
Obedience to your husband husband all this shit right but she told the story she was like if a woman in my tribe wanted a divorce she just had to sit her husband's
shoes outside the tp and then she got everything and he had to leave
like there was no rape she claimed there was no rape there was no fucking domestic violence and
then she said like when the after the church showed up and like opened up the boarding schools and shit it was like that's when you started uh documenting
gender-based violence and late so you know even her saying that was kind of like whoo and then
later when she wrapped back around she said our culture our we have a culture without this violence
we can we can return to it and i'll lay that violence at the foot of the church
and i mean you heard a collective sigh in the room of a thousand people go
you know it's like that was a heavy fucking drop right what if you're like coming home
from a night out with the guys and you see your shoes sitting outside
but your wife's just fucking with you that goddamn boys do you think it's possible there was no gender violence
in native cultures i'm not even touching that i don't know i'm not even gonna touch i don't know
i was so floored i don't i um i i think you can very easily verify that Western Europeans brought over an incredibly more hierarchical patriarchal.
Yeah, that's not.
But I don't I don't think that's I don't.
I don't know.
To me, it's not like even if there wasn't a culture of
it it feels like which there probably wasn't a culture of it there'd still be like individual
people who are who knows man i don't know i'm fucking us and it was pretty i mean i mean i do
we obviously i do believe this violence is
cultural like i obviously think that we are raising boys to like just like have no ability to
work through themselves and it's like it's a lot yeah just no ability it's like no language to talk
about how they're feeling no understanding of what you know right just like
alien we're just trying to push them to embrace the thin blue line and yeah live out their life
as police officers or podcasters yeah anywho i was just totally floored because yeah like
i mean if this isn't the first time i've heard the fucking European church showed up to ruin lives left and right with ungodly diseases and who knows what else.
But thinking about Christianity being the basis of toxic monogamy, which I hadn't even necessarily before thought about monogamy being a source of gender violence right that was sitting
with me a lot and then but definitely the homophobia i mean most native cultures have
like two-spirited and lots of you know multiple genders yeah yeah lots of um gender spectrums and much far less binaries across the board not just
gender but to me the binaries are what is just like destroyed us like gender
binary is violence in itself and it's like literally destroying people isn't
that kind of like a to me isn't that kind of like a resurrection of the old
like you know in the 18th century like
french intellectuals would like come up with his archetype with what they called like the noble
savage of like no i mean like this is the real literal words that they used of like a pre-industrial
not even necessarily pre-industrial pre-civilizational like um human form of human who was totally outside the realm of
all the things that you know westerners and others are associated with like environmental destruction
rape violence all these other things to me it seems like a very dangerous idea because i don't
think it's i think humans are probably pretty much the same wherever they're at um in terms of like the things that they do to one another but you know but they
obviously create different cultures shit i don't know i don't know it was a lot for me to sit with
yeah well that's good though you know what i mean like because you know you think about it more because then it just made me think about how the church because obviously like i have
a lot of conflict in my body about christianity i was raised in a church and whatever a lot of
problems obviously but to to start to think about how christianity and the and the church in its current state perpetuating gender violence well yeah no
you know it's like 90 of my pathologies and the things you know trauma and shit comes from being
a christian at one point and you know it's like we talked about it a lot on the show so it's just
like i don't know i mean it's's, I'm comfortable saying fuck Christianity.
I mean, they do open these fucking clinics next to abortion clinics that are literally just trying to trick women into coming in there and being just fucking destroyed to keep their babies.
You know what I mean?
Just like.
Yeah.
There's so much.
Yeah.
There's so much.
There's just the church has spent an ungodly amount of money and energy every year attacking women.
Right.
They really do.
Right.
Damn.
You know what you should see?
Three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri.
Oh, I haven't seen that.
We've been roasted for our support of that film.
Have we?
On Twitter. Yeah. You all supported the film. Because I saw that you had an you all supported you all because i saw that you had a bad opinion what happened which is fine we have a lot they do to
this show we well that's all we've got is bad opinions i know i love it when people try to
roast us it's like we're first in line to roast our damn selves. We're all well aware of how dumb we are.
Well aware.
Bring it on.
It's like that when, you remember when Jason Isbell played
Wattsburg and everybody started heckling him about his ex-wife,
like shouting his name and I'll never forget he said,
I'm well aware of who I used to be married to.
Right, right, right.
That's how I feel about, you can't hurl insults at us.
Yeah.
We got out in front of it a long time ago.
Speaking of the church,
there's this really,
what I thought was a pretty fascinating article
in Politico about,
I think it's called the Church of Donald,
but basically it was about how the Trump administration
has gone on CBN.
Is that the Christian Broadcasting Network?
And like more times than any other administration.
And CBN itself, or Trinity Broadcasting Network,
I think they're sort of related in some way,
has more local news affiliates than Fox News, I think.
Oh, wow.
Really?
That's interesting.
Yeah, it was just an interesting article
about how they're trying to expand
and make themselves more sort of amenable to young people.
And one of the ways they were doing it
is by getting Mike Huckabee to have a show on there.
Oh, well, that's...
That's how you do it.
Nothing's going to draw in the youth like the Huck.
Right.
God.
The base plane governor.
I got to skip out of here, boys.
Okay.
And I have to pee first.
All right.
But I've got to make a run to Neon.
That's why I got to leave.
Yeah.
And I have a question for Tom about the Neon pool hall.
Okay.
There's anything about gambling pool halls or any unsavory wagering?
What do you got on the Neon pool hall?
Could I get into too much trouble in there?
I've never been up there.
I've been to Shoe Man's.
I thought you went there one time.
Because you have a crazy story about how you and Ada went to play rook somewhere no that was kingdom concrete oh there was a pool table up
there too we weren't playing pool though we were playing cards cards oh yeah we had to lock
ourselves in a trailer bathroom to get away from this big motherfucker he died of an od like three
weeks after that he was trying to push pills on us so we're just up here trying to play good Christian Protestant rook.
For God's sakes.
Is, um...
What about the neon pool hall?
Well, I've been wanting to go. I've been itching to play pool.
And, uh...
When skeet side
closed... I love pool. Let's go.
I'd love to play.
Everyone who lives in neon
tells me I shouldn't go in there.
That's like a bad crowd. I say it. Like, how bad can it be? I'd love to play. Yes. You know, in the Wikipedia. Everyone who lives in Neon tells me I shouldn't go in there.
That's like a bad crowd.
I say it.
Like, how bad can it be in the Neon Pool Hall?
Now, the bad crowd's at the shoe repair store.
What were you saying?
Wikipedia what?
The Wikipedia entry of Whitesburg used to tell the story of how my granddad beat Minnesota Fats in a game of pool at the Suburban Motel.
Oh, my God.
I know my grandfather died before I was born,
but the only thing anybody ever tells me
is that he was the best pool shot in Washington County.
Paul Newman in The Hustler
was based off of Tom's grandpa.
This one guy, Joe Kizer, says,
yeah, I spent about 14 months
in a foxhole in Korea with your granddad.
Oh, my God.
Damn.
Yeah, I just really want to shoot pool.
And after Skeetside closed and took the only pool table in the fucking town,
I've got to, I need other resorts.
The thing about that pool table is it was kind of smaller.
It was one of the small tables, and it was uneven.
And they charged you $1.50. That's all you needed to and it was uneven. And they charged you $1.50.
That's all you needed to know
about this sign.
And they charged you $1.50
for an uneven fucking
small table game.
Right.
Well, so...
And they didn't have chalk
in there, sons of bitches.
When Joel and Amelia
used to own Summit,
I used to be like,
you know,
y'all should get a pool in
and they'd always be like,
we don't want the crowd
that that would attract.
So maybe there is something okay it's that green felt that lures in all those unsavory elements
i don't know i personally love playing pool i do too when i worked on that at that biker bar
in uh boonesboro we had two pool tables you know what we need to do we need to buy this little
concrete building i hear beside the rock center
and turn it into a goddamn honky tonk.
I've had that thought multiple times.
The one in Irvine?
No, right here.
Just at the bottom of my hill.
It's for rent.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That used to be my office, remember?
It's a card house right now.
It's a card house right now.
I remember the bathroom flip.
No, you're thinking of Flops.
That's a card house now.
Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. You're talking about the old flops. That's a card house now. Is it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm thinking.
You're talking about
the old KFC office.
Actually, that would be
a good idea too.
That'd be great.
Yeah.
I think we should at least,
maybe we could get a
pool table in the boon.
That'd be fun.
Yeah, that would be.
I want a ping pong table too.
Oh, yeah.
We do need to get
a bunch of like
pinball machines
and shit in there
if we actually want
people to be hanging out. See you in April. Yeah, it's like it's supposed to be a bunch of pinball machines and shit in there if we actually want people to be hanging out.
See you in April.
Yeah.
It's supposed to be a youth drop-in center.
And they got fucking t-shirt presses and shit.
Right.
It's like, who wants to come in here and press a t-shirt?
Right.
All right.
Well, we'll let you go, I guess, Tonya.
Yeah.
Got to go.
Got to make a neon run.
I'm going to play this core.
Well, see.
Pop around.
See what you can find out about the neon pool hall.
I'll put out the bat signal.
Okay.
Because if it's not...
I mean, I can handle a pretty high level of sketch, I feel like.
It's not that...
It won't be that sketchy.
That's what I said.
But everyone I've asked that lives up there is like, mm-mm, don't go in there.
Who are you asking, though?
Okay.
Even James Johnson told me that. And this man handed me a pistol one time
when i borrowed his four-wheeler and he said you can't take the four-wheeler if you ain't
gonna take the pistol and i was like okay i'll take it it's the safety on he said yeah but you
just gotta point it and shoot and i said but it's the safety on he said yeah but you just point it
and shoot it then the safety ain't on and he said, it don't got a safety. It doesn't work. It don't have a safety.
Okay, James.
Well.
He told me not to go in there.
Well, so what you're saying is maybe we shouldn't go.
I'm saying I need time to put some pillars out. I ain't been to a pool hall yet I'd stay out of.
Me neither.
That's what I said.
So.
Well, let's go.
All right.
That's where our live show is going to broadcast from, the Neon Pool Hall.
All right.
Let's do a honky tonk tour.
Damn.
My name's Tonya Turner, baby.
I'm fucking meant for a honky tonk.
We need to do a live show.
Tonya Tucker is my goddamn namesake.
The thing is, Tonya, me and Tom could not do a live show by ourselves.
I told you I wanted to do the live show.
I've said it multiple times.
I'm ready to go to EKU, my alma mater, and come out there in the fucking colonel suit god damn i told you i've got an eagle suit parents will put horns
on parents yeah that's me i'll come out there with guns a-blazin hell okay because our colonel
literally didn't have a you have any connections at the university or the eastern kentucky university
we gotta ask we forgot all
that we've been asked to a lot of live shows we just yeah they're coming to us and we're just
fucking sending out crickets we um well you know we've got jobs and i know we got shit to do i mean
obviously i'm like the one who's like i'm just pulling once a month at this point so right right
i ain't got a room to talk i'm just saying I'm down for a live show.
Well.
Have your people call my people.
Okay.
We will.
All right, well.
Peace.
Thanks for joining us.