Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 49: Hustling the Neon Pool Hall

Episode Date: April 26, 2018

Tanya regales us with stories of her travels. Tarence has a good new TV show. Tom's not touching any of it....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 So, we might as well just get this one rolling. Please. Please? I've got places to be. I really do. God help me. I'm in town one week this month. This is it.
Starting point is 00:00:17 This is my week. April? You're in town one week for April. Well, I'm glad we were able to get you. You're in high demand around here. We had to call your management to get you to come back to your own show. That's all right.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Yeah, what has been going on? Where have you been? God. Well, I drove here on a flat tire. And no gas. Yeah, to this house. I'm just like, I'm here on a flat tire. And no gas. Yeah, to this house. I'm just like, I'm just like a fucking mess. Because I was in California for a week.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Before that, I was in Chicago for a few days. Which I hate to sound like a spoiled little brat. I had to go to California. Yeah. California-wise. And I got a sunburn. to California. Yeah. California-wise. And I got a sunburn. Feels great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:08 I can kind of tell even though I got the lights real low in here. I can tell I got a tan going on. You got a good base tan. You got a good base tan. You did tan really well. I mean, compared to me and Tom. Yeah, I keep a tan about all year. Tom gets freckles and I don't really change skin tone at all, really.
Starting point is 00:01:28 It's strange because I used to get very, very, very dark, but now I just get freckly. Really? Yeah, I don't know. There's pictures of me you'd think, well, never mind. Is that a phenomenon? You get older, you lose melanin? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Is that what helps you tan? Maybe. Hell, I don't know. Is that what helps you tan? Maybe. Hell, I don't know. But I just feel like melanoma is probably going to set in. Yeah. All this time in the sun, I'm really going to regret one day. My grandma had melanoma. A lot of people in the desert get skin cancers because-
Starting point is 00:02:00 It's a barren, unforgiving wasteland. Yeah. No trees. No trees. You're just sort of blasted with the sun every single day, unforgiving wasteland. Yeah. No trees. No trees. You're just sort of blasted with the sun every single day, even in the winter. You just have to pray that you look good in a floppy hat, I guess. Well, also, you get a lot of wind out there, so I'm sure you just keep a cracked lip from wind chapping all the time, too, don't you? Your knuckles crack.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Your lips crack. It's an unforgiving landscape. It was windy as fuck here yesterday, though. Do you think people just stay dehydrated? Oh, yeah. Well, I will say that you do have a constant level of grit in your teeth, For the most part. In New Mexico? We're pretty hydrated people,
Starting point is 00:02:51 but probably not for much longer. I mean, I have a theory that everyone's dehydrated most of the time. That's why people's brains aren't functioning. Oh, yeah. Do y'all want any water or anything? You just sat down and we just went right at it. Yeah, water would be great. Yeah, you want some water? I'm good. sat down and we just went right at it. Yeah, water would be great. Yeah, you want some water?
Starting point is 00:03:06 I'm good. All right. I don't need no hydration. I don't buy into this theory. Because people don't drink water. They just drink pop and I don't even know what. Yeah, caffeine dehydrates you. I mean, when my sister was pregnant, she literally straight up told her doctor, I don't like water.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I don't understand the don't like water phenomenon. I mean, her doctor was like, it's not an option. Your body's like 70% water or something. And if you're not circulating clean water through, your body's toxic. So we had to like go buy a bunch of cucumbers and lemons and some pitchers
Starting point is 00:03:40 and like help her prep a fucking water situation in her house. So you had to basically you know how like when you're trying to get your pet to take a pill or a medicine you'll put it in like a cheese thing yeah basically you did that for your sister with water yeah you put it in like a cucumbery yeah i'd get a bunch of infuser bottles And stuff a bunch of strawberries in it Wow Swing for the fences I don't know Yeah Is she the one that lives in Charleston
Starting point is 00:04:12 She's back now but that was when she was in Charleston That baby just turned three This weekend can you believe that Wow Three years old It's crazy It's funny that babies, really
Starting point is 00:04:27 just up until the age that you're about 22, you're changing pretty rapidly. You know what I mean? A lot going on. You look at a baby, it's different from one year to the next. It's different from one day to the next. For real.
Starting point is 00:04:46 We've been about the same, really, since we started this podcast. I wish. Look at my eyeballs. I got so many wrinkles. I got gray hair. My hair's thinning. Mentally.
Starting point is 00:04:59 I don't feel mentally the same either, buddy. Philosophically. I'm going to be honest with you. I've regressed you tom's regressed we're a snowball rolling downhill i feel like a snow i feel like i'm going uphill i feel shaky yeah i mean i would say i'm on the cone i feel like i'm doing good for myself right now actually you know uh this is maybe i mentioned this last time, but a friend one time helped me make two lists. A list of, like, physical signs that I'm doing well.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Yeah. Like, what do I do? Like, what behaviors do I exhibit when I'm doing well? And then a list of the things to look for when I know I'm not doing well. Like, things aren't good. Uh-huh. And I'm, like, ticking off. I've been on my good list for, like, a long, like, a stretch.
Starting point is 00:05:44 That's good. I've been doing good. Like, I make my bed in the morning. Yeah. I eat breakfast. I've been on my good list for like a long stretch. That's good. I've been doing good. Like I make my bed in the morning. I eat breakfast. You've been reading Jordan Peterson? No. I haven't been having as much, what do you call it? Humors?
Starting point is 00:06:04 What's the word? Are you trying to say you're coming yeah like uh promiscuous sex oh right that's on my bad list that's on your bad list yeah if i'm having promiscuous sex i'm probably just not doing the best interesting yeah slut shaming yourself yeah i mean i would not slut shame others but i just happen to know that if i'm rushing into bed with people that um i have some personal work to do and um that's not my best that's not my best look right that i should be able to meet my own needs first and get to know people yeah at least a day or two. Yeah, 24 hours is good.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Yeah. I see what you're saying. But I've been doing great. Real good. I've been sticking to a three date rule. I'm fucking soaring. A three date rule? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:58 So three dates before you have sex. Yeah. That's probably good. I mean, it's like rom-com style. As I started to say, I think that's standard.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Yeah, pretty standard. Yeah. Excuse me. Except when I was a Christian, it was like a year or two. A year or two when you was a Christian it was like A year or two A year or two when you're a Christian We're saving ourselves for marriage But what if they're Christians too
Starting point is 00:07:32 Can't you just meet in the middle or something No Dude it is really weird to think about That there was a time in my life where I actively Repressed the sexual urge And succeeded at it It's frightening, really. Really, for...
Starting point is 00:07:46 I'm surprised you didn't shoot up no buildings. Years and years and years. The thing is, is that once you've had sex the first time, you can never go back to actual abstinence. It's impossible. I mean, you know, unless... Unless it's involuntary. Unless it's involuntary.
Starting point is 00:08:04 You know, there's that. But you know what I'm saying. Like, it would be inconceivable to be like, I'm swearing off sex, I'm becoming a priest. Yeah, that's not. I mean, they just tried that on New Girl. It didn't work. New Girl? There's a new season of New Girl on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:08:19 I'm really happy about it. Maybe like a new person. No, it's a TV show. You're talking about butt stuff. Is it a common thing? You sounded like we were at a workshop. In the Christian world for like people to do butt stuff because
Starting point is 00:08:37 they think that's not actually losing their virginity. Yeah, you keep your virginity. Yeah. I had a buddy that got into butt stuff, but he did it because he thought it was safer. Like, he thought you couldn't contract anything from anal sex. You can't get pregnant unless somebody checked.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yeah, so it's slightly safer. No, he wasn't even worried about that. He was worried about, like, you know, catching AIDS, and he was just like, I didn't butt because I thought it was safer. You think the hole where where feces travels is safer this is a much is a much uh safer route that is impressive yeah um well but so no you you you've got more going on in the good column yeah i feel like i'm doing really good real and remember i told y'all last week i tried to get in with a therapist and I almost ended
Starting point is 00:09:25 up on the Suboxone program? Yeah. Well, the therapy appointment went really well. Oh, yeah. I left feeling great. Tell us a little bit about it. Did she give you Suboxone? No, I was not offered Suboxone, unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I was going to bring it to Utah. I was going to say, yes, I would very much like that and bring it here to this fine gathering. To this episode. Yeah. We all get strung out on suboxone welcome yeah she was a good listener i vented to her about a bunch of stuff and uh and she listened and she uh had no you know she didn't no judgment she wasn't gonna go tell nobody so that felt good and uh you think people really uh people definitely don't oblige by that like they definitely don't adhere to that she's definitely telling somebody in her life that
Starting point is 00:10:15 she won't say your name she'll be like i've got this one patient she she did what was nice about it is i just got to talk about topical things she didn't like i mean it was the first appointment so i don't know how this really goes but she wasn't like when's the first time you experienced that feeling you know like i wasn't trying to all that howdy doody bullshit here i'm just like trying to where is this at mchc okay and i told her i was like you know i'm not like in a crisis or anything there's nothing terrible going on but i just want to establish care just in case I mean Fucking capitalism has fallen I just assume
Starting point is 00:10:47 Crisis are on the way And she just kind of looked at me But mostly She gave you a no for sure Yeah she was like oh yeah yeah Um But I just talked to her about how I just don't want to deal with Men anymore and I know that's an unhealthy
Starting point is 00:11:03 Feeling of not wanting to be around men at all. Right. It's really not an option. Is this the first time this week you've been around men? No, I'm only dealing with men that I'm getting paid to deal with currently. So you all fall under that bracket, luckily. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:11:20 At least that's what I told her. No, I have to deal with men at work all the time. Yeah. And I had to deal with a lot of men when I was traveling. Yeah, tell us about your Google talk and your Uber talk. What? Didn't you give talks at Google and Uber this week? That's what I was told.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I wish. I don't know a thing about Google or Uber. I will tell you. Doing sexy sex ed at Google headquarters could be fun That'd be awesome I would totally do that No that is So much more fun than what I did What did you do?
Starting point is 00:11:57 Bless you Do you think I'm allergic to cats? No I want a cat Do you only sneeze when you come over here? No you haven't sneezed all day I wasn't sneezing last time No
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's a It's something in the air right now Because I've been fucking miserable Yeah I am assuming That now that I'm back my allergies are going to get rough I need to go get a new inhaler Yeah Okay well let me just get back i had an
Starting point is 00:12:26 uber story okay so i was riding uber pool to a witch store across chicago called saint augustine really uh shout out saint augustine's on the south side of chicago okay a great witch establishment and i have a whole story about that too is it a bar? no it's a witch, it's a spirituality oh nice so you buy like Ouija boards and tarot cards I did buy some tarot cards for a friend did you divine the cards? divine them?
Starting point is 00:12:57 no I asked because it was a new deck I wanted to buy this a friend a tarot deck but I wanted to because I was on this travel trip I wanted to buy this, a friend, a tarot deck. And, um, but I wanted to, because I was on this travel trip, I wanted to use them first to like check them out. Cause it's just like a new deck. And so I asked them like, is it okay for me to put my energy on these cards before I give them away?
Starting point is 00:13:15 And so they asked me a bunch of followup questions to figure it out, you know, and that was not Before you go and do that, there's a couple of things we have for you. So they, no, but they said, sure. You sure, if you don't want your energy on them, you can sage them and cleanse them before you hand them off. But if the person you're giving them to is new to tarot, it might be good to have your energy on them. That might be okay if you're in a good place and you feel like you're able to put a good energy on them.
Starting point is 00:13:43 And you are. I am. I'm in a great place. you feel like you're able to put a good energy on them and you are i am i'm in a great place three day i'm in my mouth i'm three day tanya over here i'm doing fucking good nice my couch is gonna have good energy what is the transmission vehicle of energy here are we talking touching being in someone's presence oh yeah i think i pick up i pick you don't pick up energies from people yeah i mean that may not be how you articulate it but if someone's in a raw ass mood like it don't take me a second to start feeling the right the irritation feeding off of somebody's yeah or if someone's like overly sarcastic or you know just any any i pick up things real yeah i'm very sensitive to other people's energies
Starting point is 00:14:26 right right and i'm so empathic what was the general energy of chicago oh god it was cold the whole fucking time one day i literally stayed in the airbnb all day long and i just ordered deep dish pizza delivered that's pretty cool that's what i did i sat in the apartment that's pretty cool just being alone was kind of nice but um yeah so i i was in the uber pool on my way to st augustine's and there's a whole nother story about the store once i get there but this guy guy picks me up and it was actually pretty weird he almost drove down a one way i'm in the back seat and he almost drove down a one the wrong way a one-way street and he whipped it back really quick almost got us t-boned and cussed really loud the funniest shit the funniest interactions to me just out in the real world or whatever are ones where like someone is like
Starting point is 00:15:20 fucking up and like i don't know like there's a barrier between you maybe they're on the service industry side of things and they're like fucking up and pulling you into it and uh they either double down or they get really apologetic yeah well he just didn't i mean he was like god damn one ways and like whipped it and the car behind us blew the horn and i was just like i mean we were fine so i just like and he was just like sorry about that and then he just went on he didn't say nothing else and i didn't say nothing either i didn't give a fuck but then it's uber pull so then he gets another call and we go pick up this other guy oh so uber pull it's like you uh you just sort of like it's cheaper but it takes longer because they will pick up other people along the route it It's like a choose-your-own-adventure book. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty sweet.
Starting point is 00:16:06 And so the next we go pick up this other guy, and he just gets out of a car into this car. He gets out of another car, and he's got his hoodie pulled tight. Do you think people go from Uber pool to Uber pool? If it's a choose-your-own-adventure. Maybe he didn't like the other Uber he was in. Like the energy on that Uber? Well, I found out about him later. So he gets in the uber pool and he just don't say much in the back
Starting point is 00:16:29 seat we're both in the back seat right old guy still driving and oh boy he's passed out he passes out in the sea and so i don't think much of it i'm like you know it's like a middle of the day chicago you know right i don't know what you do with your time it's rainy outside hell i'd like to take a nap myself right but then the longer he's asleep he's leaning toward me until he's on my shoulder and so i nudge him off i just like give him a nudge you think that was intentional or do you think he was like i think he was really asleep so he ends up on my shoulder slowly and so i nudge him off wait wait so he gets out of another car yeah hoodie pulled tight yeah gets in your car and immediately falls asleep yeah okay so i'm sitting there and you know i kind of see him out of my peripheral leaning toward me closer and
Starting point is 00:17:15 closer and then i'm just like watching him so i'm like if he lands i'm gonna have to shove him so i shove him back to the side of the car and he just kind of like shakes awake and just like sits up he don't say nothing so i don't say nothing either i'm like okay i'll give you a pass motherfucker but then he does it again he falls asleep again and at first he's just sitting upright for a while but then he starts falling again and he hits my shoulder again so i push him this time and i'm like bubby this ain't nap time are you okay and he looks at me and he was like, when did you get in here? And I was in the car when he got in. Damn.
Starting point is 00:17:49 He's higher and goddamn crude oil. He's been to a few suboxone trials, therapy trials. Well, turns out not. He was just really sleepy because this is what happened. He could have narcolepsy. I was texting my friend at the time and so I just told her what was happening. And she said, because I was starting, my initial instinct was that I was getting angry. I was getting pissed off and I was about to threaten this man.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Because, you know, I'm on my fucking edge with men right now anyway. And I'm in the car with these two fucking idiots. And so I'm trying to get to the witch store to handle my business. Me and Tom are stand-ins for the two idiots in this vehicle. That's a metaphor. Start falling asleep on you in the middle of your story. And I sent her a pic, like, of him in the background, and she's like, damn, is he okay?
Starting point is 00:18:32 And when she said, is he okay, I thought, you know, that is how I should ask him if he's okay. And so I push him off the second time, and I'm like, are you okay? And he looks at me, and he me he was like um and that's when he said when'd you get in here damn and i was like dude i was in here when you got in here and he said what i was like i was in this car when you got in it are you okay do you need to go to the hospital he was like no no no no no i don't need to go to the hospital and then he sat there for a second he said where are you from?
Starting point is 00:19:06 We're on the south side of Chicago. Jesus Christ. I was like, well, I'm from Kentucky. I'm just visiting. But you don't look so hot. He was like, I just worked a 12 hour shift. I was like, well, I feel that. That sucks, man.
Starting point is 00:19:19 But just you can't sleep on my shoulder in this car. And he was like, yeah, I'm sorry about that. And then he's quiet for a second. Then he said, you got a boyfriend? So it turns out your first instincts were correct here. And I was like, no, I'm sorry about that. And then he's quiet for a second. Then he said, you got a boyfriend? So it turns out your first instincts were correct here. And I was like, no, I don't. Oh, he's like, you think he might have been like one of those guys that like rubs their dick on people's butts in the train or on the subway? What's the name for those people?
Starting point is 00:19:37 Cats are basically these kind of people too. Wait, no. No, no, no, no. Like, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. There's like a pathology. Predators. These are no, no, no. Like, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. There's like a pathology. Predators.
Starting point is 00:19:47 These are predators. I know that. I'm not making an indictment on the behavior. I'm just saying there's a name for them. You are making an indictment on the behavior. I hope so. Yeah, that's what you want. Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah, that's what I meant. I see what you're saying. Anyway, so I had to have the whole, and you know, and then I just flashed all the times that I've told a guy, yeah, I have a boyfriend, just so he would leave me the fuck alone. Right. But now, you know, I'm on this fucking, I'm on edge about it anyway, and I'm not going to fucking give nobody reason to do, like, I'm not going to lie. I have to lie.
Starting point is 00:20:17 And I was just like, no, I don't. He said, well, can I have your number? I said, no, you can't. And then he just looked at me. I said, you just passed out on me in the back of an Uber, man. Maybe he was doing that intentionally. I don't i don't i don't actually think so because then yeah he was definitely so he was trying to he was trying to graze you he said how do you not have a boyfriend and so then i was like kind of i was like i have a girlfriend and he was like oh
Starting point is 00:20:39 oh that's why you don't want me and then he started listen to this i shit you not he started talking about jesus he fucking started talking to me about jesus this is 100 of character on this podcast and it wasn't even he he just said well he just started talking about how he's blessed oh he's like you know if jesus loves you you're blessed yeah and he said and he said you're blessed too and i was like yeah i know and you're like i'm going to a witch store yeah i'm blessed damn but then he then like the last five minutes were really nice he was just talking to me about um how he had to pull a 12-hour shift and how much he likes and we talked about kentucky we talked about chicago how much he likes, we talked about Kentucky, we talked about Chicago,
Starting point is 00:21:25 how much he loves Chicago. He's like, yeah, I grew up on the South Side, I love Chicago. And I was like, yeah, South Side's got a bad rap. And he was like, oh, yeah, you can't listen to that shit. You can't listen to that. He was like, fucking Chicago's the best city in the world. So then he was like repping hard for Chicago, which I appreciated. And he like said some funny things about Kentucky but I was
Starting point is 00:21:45 like no you know most people don't have horses funny funny about that um and then he was talking to me about this like tattoo uh some famous tattoo shop that has a tv show that's in Chicago um I don't think masters maybe yeah I don't know if that's it. I know there's like a million of those. It was like black something, black ink something. And I was like, oh, do you have any artwork from there? And he's like, no, I can't afford that. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:13 But it's really good. I like a lot of tattoo shops have like plays on ink or writing or black. There's usually like a black in there, black gold. Real original. Well, what I like about this guy is he's at least keeping it a buck you know what i mean like when you're in the back of an uber somebody you're trying to like fall asleep on you can be anybody in the world that's true he just was his he was himself maybe to a fault but well but but while he was while he was doing this fall asleep thing the guy the guy driving could see was looking at me in the rearview mirror and he
Starting point is 00:22:52 stopped twice and said you get up front and i was like no i'm not getting up front i'm fine damn fucking fine back that's uh sophie's choice and by the end of it one fucked up dude or the other yeah right i'm like you nearly got me t-bone bitch you want me to sit up there with you like he's the portrait right and by the end of it the guy and the guy driving was laughing at our conversation he's like kept laughing at us sounds like a very keen sounds like a an experience you would have in America 2018. Am I right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Sounds like you could go and write an op-ed about this. There's all kinds of things to unpack about our current, you know. White girl from Kentucky, black boy from south side of Chicago, ham it up in the back of a fucking Uber. This is a david brooks column waiting to happen in my opinion anyway i made it to st augustine's and it was like 30 minutes before closing so i was like hurrying up to get my crystals and my shit together got a little got a little um amethyst. Kia.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Da-dum-dum. Boom, boom, boom. Crystal ball. Uh-huh. What does amethyst do? What kind of energy does that impart? Amethyst rock. It's a good question.
Starting point is 00:24:18 I'd have to look in my books. Right. I'd have to look through my papers, my business papers. I think right off it's virility. Virility? It's always virility with those rocks. No, a lot of them are just like romance and whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:35 It's like I think that villages back in the day used to have those kind of like they would get like amethyst and bury it outside of town and then like eight people would get pregnant that year and they'd be like this is the vir like eight people would get pregnant that year. And they'd be like, this is the virility rock. This is the virility.
Starting point is 00:24:49 God. We should do that. We should go plant your amethyst up on Town Hill. Well, I swear by, we're not planting my amethyst nowhere. I paid a lot for it. And I swear by our friend getting pregnant because of a spring equinox fertility ceremony that we had. Whoa. No way.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Carrie, yeah, she'll tell you. That's how she got pregnant. Oh, that's awesome. Because she spent a year trying to get pregnant. And then for the spring equinox, we had a huge fertility ceremony up at Sarah's. The timing does line up. We put eggs on the fucking altar and everything. And she was pregnant within a month. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Now, put that in your fucking pocket. Y'all are heavy into this. I thought y'all were just like smoking pot and like playing with tarot cards. We did that too. God damn, I didn't know y'all had alters and shit. Yeah, that child is, that's a healthy one-year-old baby. Let's do that over here.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Let's do that for an episode. Let's get someone pregnant on the podcast. Through immaculate conception matt through immaculate conception fuck yeah lord anyway okay i need to round this out i get to st augustine's i'm like getting all my stuff together they remember me from the last time i was in there which was when i went was on the season of the bitch show um because it's near ambria's house that's how i knew about it which i did get to catch up with those people for that fucking, for like an abortion bowl-a-thon. Oh yeah, you told me about that.
Starting point is 00:26:07 The bowl-a-tariat. That's pretty sweet. Brilliant. I loved it. They had a big, this event I went to was Seize the Means of Reproduction. I saw you holding those signs. I just loved it so much. And it's just so, it was just such a thing I could, I would never get to do here, you know?
Starting point is 00:26:20 Is this like Chicago DSA? I'm sure there's more than one DSA chapter in Chicago. Yeah, there is. It was like one of the Chicago DSA chapters events. It was really cool. And like women led it. It was beautiful. That's pretty awesome.
Starting point is 00:26:30 I was really loved. I could be there. Anyway, so the St. Augustine's is closing. The staff is cleaning up. And I'm asking directions to the train. And they're all disagreeing about how I get to the train because I just had this pool situation, Uber situation. I was really not rushing to get back in a fucking Uber. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:48 And it's more expensive anyway. So they're trying to tell me how to get to the train. And I'm like, well, maybe I'll just hang around Chinatown for a little while because they're like near Chinatown. And so finally, a woman comes up back and she's like, are you in a hurry? And I was like, no. This is right before this Seize the Means of Reproduction event at the bar. But after you've got your amethyst and other stuff yeah i've got all my stuff i've got my shopping done so she's like we'll just wait till we close up the store and i'll just take you to the train station and i was like oh great that's so nice because it was like however
Starting point is 00:27:16 far and so i sit around they're cleaning up around me i just like hang out in the store for a while longer and then we go get her car and i find out she owns the store She's the owner. She's the fucking supreme of this witch store. She's telling me about all this spirituality history in Chicago She gives me a tour of Chinatown. She takes me to old China. She was like This is the only restaurant that was here when I was a kid La la la la and like old Chinatown Chuck gives me the owner of the store drives me all around Chinatown Oh, that's that it was so awesome And then I was like asking her all these questions about tarot and her own spirituality and her rituals.
Starting point is 00:27:49 I mean, she's an old witch. And so. Are you getting at that she's a capitalist small business owner? I want to start trying to pen pal with her. Yeah, that would be pretty tight. But she actually lives in indiana on a farm she grows all the herbs that they sell in the store you should try to communicate with her via like uh yes patronize i'm not patronizing you i'm saying that test her knowledge test her
Starting point is 00:28:19 skills here yeah let's see how good a witch is sort of like how that roy d mercer how big a boy are you like how good a witch are you i love that shit how bad a witch are you um anyways that's pretty that's pretty badass yeah she was great it was awesome i got like a personal tour of chinatown that's pretty, that's pretty badass. Yeah. She was great. It was awesome. I got like a personal tour of Chinatown. That's pretty badass. From a white witch. Um, what do you mean white witch?
Starting point is 00:28:53 Like how Saruman was? Okay. That meant she was a white lady. She was a white lady. Touring me of Chinatown. Gotcha. Then I bought a bunch of ginseng candy at a Chinese candy store. Oh, nice. What's ginseng candy? I I haven't tried it yet I should have brought it here
Starting point is 00:29:09 is it candy that tastes like ginseng ginseng's for real candy made of ginseng it really is oh people love that shit you can make a living off of that yeah he's like um like you're acting i'm still like sell it online ginseng he would like get moss and like sell it online ginseng is a classic appalachian hustle
Starting point is 00:29:41 yeah there's like a big market out there for like appalachian shit like every time I go to my aunt Sharon's house her fucking husband Dale actually I don't they've been together 30 years I don't think they're married he always makes me come to his closet and look at all the sang he's got it doesn't matter drying out in his closet I think it's $1,200 worth of sang right here yeah shortened it to sang. Sang. $1,200 for sang in his closet. One of my favorite things is when people abbreviate words that don't need abbreviating. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:30:14 My sang. That's so funny. Honey, why you not got grand a sang last summer? Well, I think we're overlooking something in that your white witch has given us a viable hustle model. Fuck yeah, we could move that shit up to Chicago. We could use phrases like
Starting point is 00:30:29 move that shit up to Chicago. Me and Tom could finally live out our dream of being organized crime figures but also social justice warriors. The ginseng candy came from the Chinese store and actually, they had raw ginseng that was like a hundred dollars an ounce or something it was crazy expensive in there and so I asked her I was like what do people do with that raw ginseng because they had it all behind the counter um and
Starting point is 00:30:53 she was like oh they cook with it you make medicine I was like cool and I said yeah where I come from like we you know it grows wild and people um she's like where are you from and I said Kentucky and she was like no no no she looked she just shook her head so long i just felt like she shook her head for five minutes and was like wisconsin wisconsin is the best ginseng fucking saying this chinese woman well yeah she was such a purist she was like no she just was not having it. I was like, oh, well. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I mean, I've never been to Wisconsin. Apparently, they have the best ginseng, according to this Chinese woman. The thing is, I think a lot of people just latch on to the whole Appalachian thing, whatever. So you could like, it really doesn't matter what it is, ginseng, fucking fiddle. Well, that's what I'm saying. We'll just go pluck goddamn dandelions and just tell them it's for virility.
Starting point is 00:31:49 We could put that as a Patreon premium. Pay $10 a month, we'll send you a bag of sang. Got that good sang? We'll just send home season stamps. Right, right. Let's hustle that shit. Let's run. Let's hustle that shit.
Starting point is 00:32:07 We could run dope off Patreon. We do need a new hustle. This is a pretty good one. It's a podcast. Yeah. Yeah, so far. Pretty good. So, damn.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Well, I'm sorry. It sounds like you had some bad times and good times just like any other yeah that's any trip i would say yeah i got to swim in a pool in april that was cool that's in california oh yeah i was it was california uneventful um yeah i mean i i had to i had to have a four-hour dinner with people who work at Silicon Valley about JD Vance. That sucked. Oh, hell yeah. That was painful for me.
Starting point is 00:32:49 Did they know JD? Did they rip JD a little bit? You all. Silicon Valley. Were they like, do you know him? That's got to be the first to go. Yeah. Do you know him?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Yeah. I kind of feel like this was probably not an original observation in any way, but it does kind of feel like innovation and creativity in general has just sort of stalled out in Silicon Valley. I mean, all the shit like Facebook and stuff, love it or hate it, it's still like a – it's sort of in some ways revolutionized the means of communication in some ways for better for worse it it i don't know well facebook's just under so much fire right now yeah did you see the zack what did he do today i don't know i just thought maybe you might have seen oh no no i didn't see him there i saw someone that works closely
Starting point is 00:33:43 with him i i don't even know if i she made sure i knew she had been on his private jet oh damn is that what everyone talks about out there apparently i couldn't tell you i i designed out so many times they at least they fed me good thai food you know like for anybody who's like really iffy about the whole guillotine thing i don't even think we'd really like need to I don't even think we'd really need to go through with that. Who's on the fence about guillotines? If you're on the fence about guillotines, visit Google. Some people are a little skittish about it.
Starting point is 00:34:20 I actually did look up to see if I could do a public tour of Google or Facebook or one of them just for curiosity. And you can't do it. Well, I was going to say, if we don't want to do the guillotine thing, maybe we've got a guillotine shortage or whatever. You've just got to erect a massive wall, dismantle the border wall, put it all around Silicon Valley to where nothing gets in and nothing gets out. And then just starve them out yeah i guess the soylent supply runs until the soylent supply runs out i guess i mean i don't know i mean i'm saying we don't even have to think about it anymore just cover it up wall it off here's here's the thing here's here's the thing that i think is funny you mentioned that their creativity stalled out. You know what it has?
Starting point is 00:35:08 When Elon Musk, who's looked at as this goddamn visionary and whatever, is building flamethrowers. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yes, exactly. It's like, are you still trying to get to Mars or some shit? He built flamethrowers? He built a flamethrower. He's selling them for 500 bucks a pop just direct to people.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Yeah. How's that legal? It probably shouldn't be. Is that? So we're trying to get gun reform going here, and Elon Musk is starting to sell flamethrowers. Oh, somebody will die at the hands of an Elon Musk flamethrower. Not a doubt in my mind.
Starting point is 00:35:43 It may have already happened if they've already been shipped out. Oh, my God. Well, that's what I'm saying. Just wall it off. Well, he's in Europe or something, ain't he? That won't nip him in the bud. Oh, yeah, you're right. Well, you'd have to send a special SWAT team.
Starting point is 00:36:02 For the assassination. I'm just afraid to even get into all the weird conversations I had to have in that. Y'all just wouldn't. A fly on the wall. Could you imagine? What were some of the high notes? I mean. Could you imagine the video of Osama Bin Laden, then busted into his house and killing him and everything?
Starting point is 00:36:24 If it was elon musk that's a good idea right it's a good movie um sorry what were you saying chum says we got him finally i'm not gonna show the body i'm not gonna show the body this is amer not going to show the body. This is America. We don't do that. That's a good Trump impression. I hadn't heard your Trump voice before. I'm just going to put him out to sea.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I ain't going to show the body. That was pretty good. I'm into it. They were basically, while I was in this dinner Our podcast came up in my brain a lot Times where I thought you all were just Being Hyperbole is that the word?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Hyperbolic? Were we vindicated? We were highly vindicated Damn Y'all are more cutie than I am That's clear Only because we have brain disease explain uh well well it's particularly early on when we were when we were really pissed at people who were just asking questions
Starting point is 00:37:39 you know just asking the questions and that's how all this was delivered to me you know, just asking the questions. And that's how all this was delivered to me. You know, we just have questions. But all of those innocent questions were forcing me to defend all rule life. And it took me a while until I finally just stopped and said, you know, you're acting Like they wanted me to defend This thing that's clearly Never going to work Uh huh Yet We don't know any
Starting point is 00:38:14 Version of history on this planet Where there were not rural places Supporting urban centers Right That's not That's as old as we are yeah this is you are asking me to to defend against this utopian urban mecca that you have created that you think is the only way even though there's no evidence for it right am i crazy no no you're not crazy go off
Starting point is 00:38:42 tanya every all across the globe they're just well i think if they had what they if they had their way i think that they would probably just turn rural america into like a sort of industrial wasteland where like massive robots just sort of harvest everything and like the only people out there are just people sort of hiding out from drones where they just want they just want it to be hills covered in solar panels exactly that's what they want that is really what they just want that's literally what they want yeah they want our land for their server things those like huge server farms right and so i was literally having to pitch high speed i was like literally which this has been pitched to me and i've never really took the bait but you know i spit it back out there because i'm trying to
Starting point is 00:39:30 fucking raise money here i don't know what the fuck to do and so i literally pitched to these people you know this whole high speed wi-fi rail using all of our intricate railroad systems so that we can just like easily get to Charleston and Lexington and fucking Roanoke and wherever these cities are so we can like people can live out here really cheaply and healthily what was your response but you can work in the urban centers they were so into it I knew it so into it I fucking knew it I served that although I was proud of myself I fucking flipped my collar when I left there like so proud of myself for coming up with this bullshit they were gonna eat up you know yeah yeah internet rails i'm into it yeah yeah it's like you clock in when you get on the wi-fi
Starting point is 00:40:15 is going you're already getting your email going on the way there two hours you know an hour and a half these people love productivity they do they do all human life is just like valued on your output ability right right uh but anyway i mean they said all kinds of fucked up stuff about how you know the opportunities their kids get in silicon valley such as i'm almost terrified they're gonna hear this you know um sometimes what i've what i found and me and tom talked about this on the episode last week is that like it really sucks because it's just like what is the alternative is it like large-scale um sort of federally funded like public works projects like amtrak or some shit
Starting point is 00:40:59 i mean like because you won't really get a lot of people saying that, except for the Stalinist left. Another thing from my trip I wanted to bring back to you all was from the Chicago conference I was at. It was a policy link, like an equity summit. There was like 4,000 people there. I could not believe it. I thought it was going to be like this shitty policy wonk thing that I didn't want to be at. But it just ended up being mostly pretty cool and a lot of beautiful people anyway one of the panels i went to the whole time i was thinking about you all because i was like you all would have been really into this yeah for for two guys you don't like
Starting point is 00:41:34 spending time around unless you're paid you sure think about us a lot i know it's crazy well you're my you're my socialist friends no i don't sit around and talk about fucking socialist utopians with anyone else. This isn't something I get to do. Although I joked recently. I don't even want to get into this joke. But I fucking joked about Tom calling me a champagne socialist recently in that bio he wrote for us. Right. And so the person I told it to has now been like throwing it up and joking about it to me.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Like has fed it back to me so many times and now you feel like sort of disgusted i hate it i'm so upset about it but i thought it was cutesy right and now i'm like eating it anyway i saw i was on this panel which and it was uh like new economy panel and then you know it's this huge room like so many thousands like 2,000 people in this fucking room. Is there a guy there named Manheimer Steamroller? So there's one person on the panel is like advocate for UBI. They're like sending home
Starting point is 00:42:38 the universal basic income. And then there's another guy on the panel who is he's on there to talk about federal job guarantees which i had not really right i hadn't heard that language before really yeah right right like i hadn't looked into this but these aren't socialists right these are we're talking these are probably silicon valley wonks no this was in chicago oh i'm sorry this isn't silicon valley this was in chicago they i would say i mean they're kind of social justice-y policy wonks
Starting point is 00:43:06 I would guess, but I wouldn't say they're that left. They're like liberals that are trying to meet the DSA left halfway and be like democratic social democrats. Progressives. Another guy was a fight for 15
Starting point is 00:43:22 organizer, which obviously I have a ton of respect for and we need $25 an hour, so. Here's what I say. Here's what I say. I don't, 15, no one in America can raise a family on $15 an hour, anywhere you are, nowhere. What I've come to, what I've come to, a fun thing that I like to do when I go to the city.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Above the poverty line. Is I like to play a little game called The Communist Dictator, and you just identify properties and places that you think look really great like that you really like and uh you know you pretend like you're just turning it over in a tv show form it would be like property brothers but it'd be like expropriator brothers right like it would be like we walk into a place like oh this looks nice and then you turn and look at the camera and say it's for the people you know and then you appropriate you you know you then you go steal it from the bartender says it's under new management for the people
Starting point is 00:44:20 that's the thing that's the thing like you know it's really important to keep that in mind it's like communism isn't doesn't have to be this utopia of like necessarily creating all this new infrastructure although that'd be great communism for me is taking all the nice shit that already exists and just turning it over, universalizing it, turning it over to the people. So it's like, yeah, I don't know. Expropriated Brothers. Watch HGTV. Coming to your
Starting point is 00:44:54 TV soon. But except it's called... What's the show called? Expropriated Brothers. And you turn to the camera and say, it's for the people. That's your catchphrase. I turn to the camera and it zooms in on me and I go, it's for the people. That's your catchphrase. It's for the people. I turn to the camera and it zooms in on me and I go, it's for the people. I mean, this is like, I mean, I would watch a reality show that was just turning over third homes to homeless people.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Yeah. You know, like. Yeah. Not even that. Not even that. You walk into a massive mansion and the fucking husband and wife. Ah, no, no. They're like fucking blindfolded and someone
Starting point is 00:45:25 kicks them in the back down the fucking steps. Oh my god! This is like the Purge. Shut the fuck up Daniel. And then the camera zooms in real close to my face and I go It's for the people. Oh my god. You know I always, you remember those You remember those shows Extreme Makeover Home Edition?
Starting point is 00:45:43 This is actually a good alternative because i could never really get emotionally attached to those shows like they build these huge dream houses for these families right and my next thought would be like how the fuck are they gonna pay property taxes on that making seven dollars an hour yeah you know what i mean yeah no but it was funny because i was in knoxville this weekend and the thing that made me think about that was I was in Knoxville this past weekend, and there was this, not in quite downtown Knoxville, but pretty close to downtown Knoxville,
Starting point is 00:46:11 there's this really massive castle-like building. I guess it's like the home for this news media, sort of like WIMT thing. And right next door to it is a steel workers' union, or I think it's a plumbers' union, actually. But the building is so run down you know and then next to it you've got this elaborate ornate mansion it's just like the the the the goal is you get those people to take that you know that's it's that simple really yeah it's pointing down yeah it's raining really hard right now i know you think you'll be able to pick this up on the podcast
Starting point is 00:46:46 and hear that it's raining. I can hear it a little bit. We live in a rainforest. Yeah. It's typical. Yeah. I didn't bring my raincoat, though. I like living in a rainforest.
Starting point is 00:46:55 I do, too. My parents were absolutely astounded when they came out here two years ago. We were walking down the street. From the desert. Yeah, my mom was like, there's moss growing on the side of this building. I'm like, yeah. Should have brought it to my house.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I got a mushroom growing in my bathroom. It's everywhere. We get like six to eight inches of rain in New Mexico, in Hobbs. We get like 60 here. Six to eight a year? A year. Yeah. Six to eight inches of rain a year.
Starting point is 00:47:24 A year. We get that in a inches of rain a year. A year. We get that in a weekend. It's crazy. Yep. We got that, like, in the last since we've been recording. It's really not... Yeah, it's really funny. Like, when I was in high school, like, that is when I first encountered the idea of, like, overpopulation.
Starting point is 00:47:41 You know what I mean? Like, I think it's a stupid idea. like overpopulation you know like when you and like you know what i mean like i think it's a stupid idea but i had a very rosy eyed sort of uh um you know i was just like oh there's plenty of room for everybody like we you know i live in the desert you can just see in every fucking direction as far as the eye can see it's like there's plenty of room for people to live here but i guess at that time i couldn't really hadn't really figured out that people also need water. Details. It's just not sustainable for places like... Details, details.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Good word. Anybody talk about sustainability on those panels you were on? I'm sure. I don't know. It was mostly... I mean, they got into an argument about UBI. And they were right. I mean, I agreed with the guy that universal basic income runs the risk of making inequity worse if it is truly universal and doesn't take into account need.
Starting point is 00:48:49 and doesn't take into account need because if everyone just gets 30 grand a year right the people who already have wealth will invest it and get more wealth and the people without wealth will have to consume it immediately and so it just like it will just like yeah whatever it will balloon it's for the people and so they were fighting about that today we're stalking that Warren Buffett we're gonna kill him and redistribute
Starting point is 00:49:11 his assets but the thing is you don't even have to do that just send him to send him to Silicon Valley with the walls around it Mr. Buffett
Starting point is 00:49:21 you have a choice but the God love the fight for 15 guy was just like people deserve a job They care about People want to make a living I'm so embarrassed when I use my EBT card And I'm just like
Starting point is 00:49:34 Is that what we wanted these 3,000 people in here to hear Is that it's really embarrassing To use a fucking food stamp card Because it shouldn't be embarrassing We should all have a fucking food stamp card God damn it This is bullshit And that's we should all have fucking food stamp card god damn it yeah this is bullshit and so and then i was trying to tell the girl next to me quietly so i wasn't is that i mean i obviously i support labor organizing and especially low-income workers like the fight for 15 has been doing but $15 ain't enough and that rhetoric is just fucking the root of it is literally just that people are people should have to fight and scrap for everything they fucking have
Starting point is 00:50:12 people deserve a right to work and be fucking have their bodies broken down and that we're like our value i mean it literally the rhetoric literally is like, people deserve dignity. As in, you only get dignity if you have output. If you are able to work full-time at McDonald's, that equals dignity. Man, before we get too far away from this, me and my sisters, we're all old enough to remember when they had the actual Monopoly money food stamps, and that you didn't have an EBT card. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:48 And my mom would always send us to the grocery store with them. So we'd play hot potato, who's going to take them. Ain't nobody want to go be seen with food stamps at the fucking grocery store. Yeah. That's weird. I don't know. It's like the thing with the jobs guarantee, all that stuff. It seems to me like a lot of work when you could just make me communist dictator.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Oh, God. And then I just. Well, and then this weekend. A name you can trust. A name you can trust. This weekend I met some new people who are friends of friends. And I was wearing my necklace that says ungovernable. And so this guy was like, does that say ungovernable and so this guy was like does that say ungovernable and I said yeah
Starting point is 00:51:27 he said are you one of those people I was like oh so I leaned in I was like who are those people tell me more he was like you hate the government and I was like well I don't even know how to answer that because what I really want is more government, which is a fucked up thing to say to people who haven't imagined a different government. And it's hard to imagine. Who has the luxury to try to imagine a different governing body when all of our evidence points toward horror? Right. Like literal horror. Right. Like literal horror. And so I was, anyway, I wasn't trying to get into it with him, but I was just like.
Starting point is 00:52:11 You think he was a right winger? No, I mean, he's gay. Hopefully not. But I don't know. Why gay men are kind of maybe sometimes the worst. I don't know. I didn't have. As a gay Alex Jones looking guy Yeah
Starting point is 00:52:29 No I don't think I take offense to that He's a right winger But I didn't want to Get into it Yeah I was just like not exactly I don't hate the government but I'm pretty Unsatisfied with our current situation Like I'm sure Most people are exactly. I don't hate the government, but I'm pretty unsatisfied with our current situation.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Like, I'm sure most people are. Like, I just don't know. It's like a mental calculus. It's like, do I really care about trying to change this person's mind? It's like when people say, do you hate the government? I mean, that's like a pretty... That's one of those gotcha things. If you're a known socialist, all your people, all your buddies that aren't, like, try to get you with.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Right. It's like, actually, I'm really into creative governance. Let's talk about it. You know, what am I supposed to do? Like, whip out a fucking scroll? Well, no. That's why just go with communist where, you know, you can envision a point in which the state sort of withers away. Yeah, I totally agree.
Starting point is 00:53:27 You've got to vaguely wave your hand like that, too. That was my way out of the conversation. I said, I'm just kind of a socialist. And he was like, hmm. And he just didn't want to hear any more after that, which I assumed. So that's why I just kind of trailed it out. If you sub out socialist for communist though yeah that conversation ends even quicker so yeah see for me uh the answer to the question is yes absolutely but you know government
Starting point is 00:53:55 not government per se but this government and the vast majority of governments on this planet yeah not all of, but most of them. Yeah. Governments are like Christians. If they were only Christ-like. Yeah. Right. Oh, did I, wait, did I tell you all this?
Starting point is 00:54:19 What? Oh, God. The hottest take. I've heard the hottest, hottest poppin' take. I don't know. I don't know about that. On the first panel that I was at at this fucking equity conference, they had a Lakota woman. And it was about gender justice and the racial justice movement or something like that. And she straight up said there was no, this is what she said.
Starting point is 00:54:42 She straight up said there was no, this is what she said. She said there was no gender-based violence in my culture documented before the church showed up. The church, Christians, white settler Christians showed up. They brought the, they brought teachings of monogamy and homophobia. Sipplis. Smallpox. Not good. Obedience to your husband husband all this shit right but she told the story she was like if a woman in my tribe wanted a divorce she just had to sit her husband's
Starting point is 00:55:11 shoes outside the tp and then she got everything and he had to leave like there was no rape she claimed there was no rape there was no fucking domestic violence and then she said like when the after the church showed up and like opened up the boarding schools and shit it was like that's when you started uh documenting gender-based violence and late so you know even her saying that was kind of like whoo and then later when she wrapped back around she said our culture our we have a culture without this violence we can we can return to it and i'll lay that violence at the foot of the church and i mean you heard a collective sigh in the room of a thousand people go you know it's like that was a heavy fucking drop right what if you're like coming home
Starting point is 00:55:57 from a night out with the guys and you see your shoes sitting outside but your wife's just fucking with you that goddamn boys do you think it's possible there was no gender violence in native cultures i'm not even touching that i don't know i'm not even gonna touch i don't know i was so floored i don't i um i i think you can very easily verify that Western Europeans brought over an incredibly more hierarchical patriarchal. Yeah, that's not. But I don't I don't think that's I don't. I don't know. To me, it's not like even if there wasn't a culture of
Starting point is 00:56:49 it it feels like which there probably wasn't a culture of it there'd still be like individual people who are who knows man i don't know i'm fucking us and it was pretty i mean i mean i do we obviously i do believe this violence is cultural like i obviously think that we are raising boys to like just like have no ability to work through themselves and it's like it's a lot yeah just no ability it's like no language to talk about how they're feeling no understanding of what you know right just like alien we're just trying to push them to embrace the thin blue line and yeah live out their life as police officers or podcasters yeah anywho i was just totally floored because yeah like
Starting point is 00:57:39 i mean if this isn't the first time i've heard the fucking European church showed up to ruin lives left and right with ungodly diseases and who knows what else. But thinking about Christianity being the basis of toxic monogamy, which I hadn't even necessarily before thought about monogamy being a source of gender violence right that was sitting with me a lot and then but definitely the homophobia i mean most native cultures have like two-spirited and lots of you know multiple genders yeah yeah lots of um gender spectrums and much far less binaries across the board not just gender but to me the binaries are what is just like destroyed us like gender binary is violence in itself and it's like literally destroying people isn't that kind of like a to me isn't that kind of like a resurrection of the old like you know in the 18th century like
Starting point is 00:58:46 french intellectuals would like come up with his archetype with what they called like the noble savage of like no i mean like this is the real literal words that they used of like a pre-industrial not even necessarily pre-industrial pre-civilizational like um human form of human who was totally outside the realm of all the things that you know westerners and others are associated with like environmental destruction rape violence all these other things to me it seems like a very dangerous idea because i don't think it's i think humans are probably pretty much the same wherever they're at um in terms of like the things that they do to one another but you know but they obviously create different cultures shit i don't know i don't know it was a lot for me to sit with yeah well that's good though you know what i mean like because you know you think about it more because then it just made me think about how the church because obviously like i have
Starting point is 00:59:49 a lot of conflict in my body about christianity i was raised in a church and whatever a lot of problems obviously but to to start to think about how christianity and the and the church in its current state perpetuating gender violence well yeah no you know it's like 90 of my pathologies and the things you know trauma and shit comes from being a christian at one point and you know it's like we talked about it a lot on the show so it's just like i don't know i mean it's's, I'm comfortable saying fuck Christianity. I mean, they do open these fucking clinics next to abortion clinics that are literally just trying to trick women into coming in there and being just fucking destroyed to keep their babies. You know what I mean? Just like.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Yeah. There's so much. Yeah. There's so much. There's just the church has spent an ungodly amount of money and energy every year attacking women. Right. They really do. Right.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Damn. You know what you should see? Three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. Oh, I haven't seen that. We've been roasted for our support of that film. Have we? On Twitter. Yeah. You all supported the film. Because I saw that you had an you all supported you all because i saw that you had a bad opinion what happened which is fine we have a lot they do to this show we well that's all we've got is bad opinions i know i love it when people try to
Starting point is 01:01:18 roast us it's like we're first in line to roast our damn selves. We're all well aware of how dumb we are. Well aware. Bring it on. It's like that when, you remember when Jason Isbell played Wattsburg and everybody started heckling him about his ex-wife, like shouting his name and I'll never forget he said, I'm well aware of who I used to be married to. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:01:42 That's how I feel about, you can't hurl insults at us. Yeah. We got out in front of it a long time ago. Speaking of the church, there's this really, what I thought was a pretty fascinating article in Politico about, I think it's called the Church of Donald,
Starting point is 01:02:03 but basically it was about how the Trump administration has gone on CBN. Is that the Christian Broadcasting Network? And like more times than any other administration. And CBN itself, or Trinity Broadcasting Network, I think they're sort of related in some way, has more local news affiliates than Fox News, I think. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Really? That's interesting. Yeah, it was just an interesting article about how they're trying to expand and make themselves more sort of amenable to young people. And one of the ways they were doing it is by getting Mike Huckabee to have a show on there. Oh, well, that's...
Starting point is 01:02:48 That's how you do it. Nothing's going to draw in the youth like the Huck. Right. God. The base plane governor. I got to skip out of here, boys. Okay. And I have to pee first.
Starting point is 01:02:59 All right. But I've got to make a run to Neon. That's why I got to leave. Yeah. And I have a question for Tom about the Neon pool hall. Okay. There's anything about gambling pool halls or any unsavory wagering? What do you got on the Neon pool hall?
Starting point is 01:03:16 Could I get into too much trouble in there? I've never been up there. I've been to Shoe Man's. I thought you went there one time. Because you have a crazy story about how you and Ada went to play rook somewhere no that was kingdom concrete oh there was a pool table up there too we weren't playing pool though we were playing cards cards oh yeah we had to lock ourselves in a trailer bathroom to get away from this big motherfucker he died of an od like three weeks after that he was trying to push pills on us so we're just up here trying to play good Christian Protestant rook.
Starting point is 01:03:46 For God's sakes. Is, um... What about the neon pool hall? Well, I've been wanting to go. I've been itching to play pool. And, uh... When skeet side closed... I love pool. Let's go. I'd love to play.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Everyone who lives in neon tells me I shouldn't go in there. That's like a bad crowd. I say it. Like, how bad can it be? I'd love to play. Yes. You know, in the Wikipedia. Everyone who lives in Neon tells me I shouldn't go in there. That's like a bad crowd. I say it. Like, how bad can it be in the Neon Pool Hall? Now, the bad crowd's at the shoe repair store. What were you saying?
Starting point is 01:04:16 Wikipedia what? The Wikipedia entry of Whitesburg used to tell the story of how my granddad beat Minnesota Fats in a game of pool at the Suburban Motel. Oh, my God. I know my grandfather died before I was born, but the only thing anybody ever tells me is that he was the best pool shot in Washington County. Paul Newman in The Hustler was based off of Tom's grandpa.
Starting point is 01:04:37 This one guy, Joe Kizer, says, yeah, I spent about 14 months in a foxhole in Korea with your granddad. Oh, my God. Damn. Yeah, I just really want to shoot pool. And after Skeetside closed and took the only pool table in the fucking town, I've got to, I need other resorts.
Starting point is 01:04:58 The thing about that pool table is it was kind of smaller. It was one of the small tables, and it was uneven. And they charged you $1.50. That's all you needed to and it was uneven. And they charged you $1.50. That's all you needed to know about this sign. And they charged you $1.50 for an uneven fucking small table game.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Right. Well, so... And they didn't have chalk in there, sons of bitches. When Joel and Amelia used to own Summit, I used to be like, you know,
Starting point is 01:05:19 y'all should get a pool in and they'd always be like, we don't want the crowd that that would attract. So maybe there is something okay it's that green felt that lures in all those unsavory elements i don't know i personally love playing pool i do too when i worked on that at that biker bar in uh boonesboro we had two pool tables you know what we need to do we need to buy this little concrete building i hear beside the rock center
Starting point is 01:05:45 and turn it into a goddamn honky tonk. I've had that thought multiple times. The one in Irvine? No, right here. Just at the bottom of my hill. It's for rent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That used to be my office, remember?
Starting point is 01:05:56 It's a card house right now. It's a card house right now. I remember the bathroom flip. No, you're thinking of Flops. That's a card house now. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. You're talking about the old flops. That's a card house now. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm thinking.
Starting point is 01:06:06 You're talking about the old KFC office. Actually, that would be a good idea too. That'd be great. Yeah. I think we should at least, maybe we could get a
Starting point is 01:06:14 pool table in the boon. That'd be fun. Yeah, that would be. I want a ping pong table too. Oh, yeah. We do need to get a bunch of like pinball machines
Starting point is 01:06:22 and shit in there if we actually want people to be hanging out. See you in April. Yeah, it's like it's supposed to be a bunch of pinball machines and shit in there if we actually want people to be hanging out. See you in April. Yeah. It's supposed to be a youth drop-in center. And they got fucking t-shirt presses and shit. Right.
Starting point is 01:06:31 It's like, who wants to come in here and press a t-shirt? Right. All right. Well, we'll let you go, I guess, Tonya. Yeah. Got to go. Got to make a neon run. I'm going to play this core.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Well, see. Pop around. See what you can find out about the neon pool hall. I'll put out the bat signal. Okay. Because if it's not... I mean, I can handle a pretty high level of sketch, I feel like. It's not that...
Starting point is 01:06:51 It won't be that sketchy. That's what I said. But everyone I've asked that lives up there is like, mm-mm, don't go in there. Who are you asking, though? Okay. Even James Johnson told me that. And this man handed me a pistol one time when i borrowed his four-wheeler and he said you can't take the four-wheeler if you ain't gonna take the pistol and i was like okay i'll take it it's the safety on he said yeah but you
Starting point is 01:07:15 just gotta point it and shoot and i said but it's the safety on he said yeah but you just point it and shoot it then the safety ain't on and he said, it don't got a safety. It doesn't work. It don't have a safety. Okay, James. Well. He told me not to go in there. Well, so what you're saying is maybe we shouldn't go. I'm saying I need time to put some pillars out. I ain't been to a pool hall yet I'd stay out of. Me neither.
Starting point is 01:07:37 That's what I said. So. Well, let's go. All right. That's where our live show is going to broadcast from, the Neon Pool Hall. All right. Let's do a honky tonk tour. Damn.
Starting point is 01:07:47 My name's Tonya Turner, baby. I'm fucking meant for a honky tonk. We need to do a live show. Tonya Tucker is my goddamn namesake. The thing is, Tonya, me and Tom could not do a live show by ourselves. I told you I wanted to do the live show. I've said it multiple times. I'm ready to go to EKU, my alma mater, and come out there in the fucking colonel suit god damn i told you i've got an eagle suit parents will put horns
Starting point is 01:08:12 on parents yeah that's me i'll come out there with guns a-blazin hell okay because our colonel literally didn't have a you have any connections at the university or the eastern kentucky university we gotta ask we forgot all that we've been asked to a lot of live shows we just yeah they're coming to us and we're just fucking sending out crickets we um well you know we've got jobs and i know we got shit to do i mean obviously i'm like the one who's like i'm just pulling once a month at this point so right right i ain't got a room to talk i'm just saying I'm down for a live show. Well.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Have your people call my people. Okay. We will. All right, well. Peace. Thanks for joining us.

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