Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 55: Hangin With The Kid
Episode Date: June 1, 2018Matt hung out with Kid Rock so of course we had to cinematize it. We cut almost 40 minutes of good and funny content out of this episode and put it up on our Patreon, so please go check that out: htt...ps://www.patreon.com/posts/19174278
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I think I did it.
Plug in.
Plug right in, man.
With your one-hitter.
Hell yeah.
The one-hit quitter.
One of the things I like so much about the one-hitter
is they try to make it look like
something old, primitive,
something you would carry around in a satchel.
Yeah.
You know?
Not just your typical one-hitter, but a dugout.
Yeah.
Oh, a dugout, right.
So you put a bunch of weed in it,
and then you just mash the shit down in there.
Is that one?
No, this one.
Yes, that one is yours.
I was like, I didn't even remember
I did the thing with the microphone
that I do with like your cell phone
yeah
when you've got it in your hand
and you have no idea
that it's in your hand
no I like the dugout man
because it's a
you've got
you just mash the
the thing down in there
and they make it look like
a cool little cigarette
I'll smoke the cig baby be like oh man officer I'm not smoking weed the thing down in there and they make it look like a cool little cigarette.
I'll smoke the cig, baby.
Be like, oh, officer, I'm not smoking weed.
I'm just puffing on a metal cigarette.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, no, it's pretty cool.
I was telling Matt the other day, you usually see these at music festivals, I feel like.
The dugout is pretty popular at the music festival and I and I wonder if it's because of the the I think it's
the portability it looks like you already have the weed ground up and then
you just have a little thing where like if you just you don't have time to light
up a big joint and put it out or have a big glass bowl like I think it's like
the incognito yeah toker that's what I it's like the incognito quick toker.
That's what I was going to say.
The incognito thing about it,
and the fact that they make it sick.
Hey, buddy, I'm just trying to watch Tom Petty.
And I, for whatever reason, can't keep my cigarette lit.
I keep having to hit it with the flame.
It also never goes down. Yeah.
But you've been smoking that cigarette for four hours.
Still can't get it lit.
It hits really.
That's all you.
Oh, no.
Go for it.
This is the first actual weed I've smoked in days.
I've only been vaping, so.
That's because I've just not been doing very well.
Mentally. You just want the truth about it. Emotionally. that's because I've just not been doing very well that's mentally
emotional
if you want the truth about it
it's just because I've not been doing very well
the pollens really hit eastern Kentucky
it's like a
it's a pandemic
um
man weed
weed humor is so god damn funny
the other night we were talking about
the other night we were talking about, the other night we were talking about,
we were trying to figure out
what are the two forms of energy that cells produce
or that cells need for reproduction.
It was ATP and we couldn't figure out the other one.
So we were like THC.
That's what mine is.
ATP and THC.
That's going to be this summer's hot new hit.
ATP and THC. Do you want this summer's hot new hit ATP and THC
Do you want this Tom?
Nah I'm good
Me and Tom have a new
We have a new
What would you say like warm up routine
Like a new sort of warm up
Something to get us warmed up
And it's of course speaker fees
I don't know why we didn't think of this earlier
We had all
We were
It's like
Daniel Plainview in
There Will Be Blood.
There's an ocean of content beneath our feet.
We're the only ones who can get at it.
We didn't know that
this whole time.
Sure you did. Yeah, I know. We did.
It just didn't occur to us.
Yeah.
Alright. What do we got here?
All right.
Are you ready?
Speak your pieces.
Kevin McNeil must be hung like a bank bill.
The way that guy glistens.
He's a good looking guy, right?
Okay.
Speak your piece.
I would like to know what Ronald Reagan did that caused the person who wrote about losing his job. This is a reference
to... See, they speak, you know,
some of the comments
speak across time and
issues of Mount Eagle.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Some of them are arguments, but
back and forth. Right, right. Yeah.
This is good shit.
As for Ronald Reagan, I believe he made it
into heaven. But I'm
wondering about the caller with the type of feelings
he has about another human being.
You need to let that anger go.
It has been a lot of years that you have been carrying
that load of hate. I don't believe you can
have a real close relationship with God
with that in your heart.
I guess hate towards
Ronald Reagan ostensibly. I'm gonna
go ahead and opine on
this real quick if I may. If Ronald Reagan's in heavenibly. I'm going to go ahead and opine on this real quick, if I may.
If Ronald Reagan's in heaven, I'd rather just...
You know.
Right.
You could just be like, I liked your movies, Mr. Reagan.
One time for the gipper.
Yeah, and then you probably don't have to interact with him ever again.
There's probably a lot of motherfuckers up there if such a thing exists.
Do you think there's some really old person that just most warmly remembers Ronald Reagan for his movies?
Nowadays, probably not.
What was his famous one by the All-American?
I don't think he was...
His acting career was pretty bad.
He had one famous movie.
It was...
What's the guy's name?
All-American?
About the football player?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I don't know, but I know what you're talking about.
And the reason he probably did so well at that
because that was his literal life.
He was like the sort of All-American kid.
Was a football star, I think. Yeah, what's the criteria for all-american kid like uh was a football star i think yeah what's the what's the
criteria for all-american you can't buy any chinese walmart shit but at the same time shopping at
walmart makes you all-american so what the fuck you gonna do you're over a barrel there yeah
i love it when people are really into the made in america stuff do you want that
remember that walmart was really big into that in the 90s.
Right.
Before Sam Walton died.
Yeah.
Like they prided themselves on everything in this motherfucker's made in the USA.
Now none of it is.
Does Sam's Club have any USA shit?
I mean, other than probably the steaks or something.
Like, no, those are actually mexican
stakes from drugs smuggling cows do as we say not as we do oh shit uh how you think ronald reagan
was hung ronald reagan well i don't know It depends on The age
It's like at one point
Your balls
Exceed your
Venus length
Well it's
When's that happened
Age 70
It's kind of
I think it's starting
To happen for me
I'm 32
They
It's like you've always
Said though Tom
Like back in the day
Like everybody
Had a big dick
Like every
Like back in the day Back in the a big dick Like every Like back in the day
Back in the day
I don't know
Three billion years ago
I don't know
I don't know one gal
Of the age of 65
That's not fucking
Rocking one
Right
Because that was
That was before they started eating
All this shit
With hormones in it
Hey I know a lot of dudes
In their 60s
And I don't know what
Any of their dicks look like
And I don't know what any of their dicks look like.
And I don't speculate either.
Man, I spent a lot of time with Pert Crick as a kid.
Anyway, that might be a different episode altogether.
Ronald Reagan.
Old Man Balls. Yeah. It is funny, though, that we do have... Ronald Reagan Old man balls Yeah
It is funny though
That we do have
Isn't that true
That like the older you get
Like your nose and your ears
Never stop growing
Have you ever heard that
Yeah and then your balls
So followed shortly by
Your balls
By your satchel
So there's a bunch of
And then there's a bunch of goblins
living underground.
That their nose,
they got so old that their nose and ears
were really large
and then their skin was discolored.
That's the way it worked.
Living the underbelly of the everyday life.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Anyways,
I bought a cell phone and read the warning label that came with it instructing users to wash their hands after every use how would you know how would you know you've
bought something made in china that has chemicals in it unless they warn you you get a cheap phone
oh this is really funny how this literally has to do with what we were just talking about
you get a cheap phone made in China,
you get cheap clothes made in China,
and if you don't wash them first, you get cancer.
But no one wants to talk about the Chinese
putting stuff over here that is killing us.
My favorite kind of comment is that
no one wants to talk about it.
Yeah, not a single person wants to talk about it.
I'm going to have to step in and talk about this.
Because nobody else will.
Nobody else is answering the bell.
What the fuck?
Me and Tom were talking about that
yesterday.
Because there's this video.
That's pretty cool.
There's this video we were watching
of this guy who
ran a trucking company called Patriot Trucking.
And he was making this online video that he was trying to make go viral.
And he was freaking out about the fact that Flying J gas stations don't fly the American flag.
Flying J.
And pilot gas stations as well.
Does any gas station fly an American flag?
Well, according to this guy.
Hey, while we're on the subject,
Double Quick isn't really flying the flag.
Fuck, you're right.
Yeah, a flag on every building.
Let's do a little experiment.
Let's see if we can pressure Don Childers
into flying a flag at all his Double Quicks.
Was it you that was saying this yesterday?
Like, we just need to just start calling these assholes on this.
Like, every time they have a lapse in patriotism, just be like, what the fuck, man?
Yeah.
Put a giant flag on top of every, like, progressive place in Whitesburg.
And then be like, look at all these fucking oil companies and gas
stations that aren't flying the fucking flag.
Or what you do is you go up to your neighbor and you'd be like, Jerry, I know you voted
for Trump.
It's kind of fucked up that like you don't paint the front of your house red, white and
blue.
I mean, that's not very American.
Fuck that, bro.
I'm going to fucking do that tomorrow, bro.
I don't want to fucking do it.
I was going to do it fucking Saturday.
Hey, bro.
Fucking do it tomorrow bro I was gonna do that fucking Saturday Hey bro Fucking do it tomorrow bro
Man
I'm about to get a new neighbor
And I'm terrified he's gonna be
Oh shit really
A right winger
Do you know who it is
He's
You'll know soon enough
By how he paints his house
He works at the
You're right
You're right
He works at the hospital That's all. You're right. He works at the hospital.
That's all I know about him.
So Tom's like, he probably sucks.
He's probably one of those scab traveling nurses.
No, he probably steals fucking fentanyl patches.
And he's going to do them with you.
I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and have a...
I'm going to wake up and there's going gonna be A fentanyl patch on my arm
I'll be like
Wait what
What's going on
And he's like
You're hooked now bro
You're fucking hooked now bro
Fucking addicted bro
He's just shushing you
Yeah
Go to sleep
He's like
That'll be $80 a week
Go to sleep
Oh shit
Your shit's all
Getting all stalled up again
He keeps doing that
He keeps doing that
I need to restart my computer
That's what I'm gonna do
So let's
I'm not impressed by my witchcraft
I like it
This is pretty good
I think there might be
Like $300 microphones
Instead of
How much a good Shure SM58 run you?
$100
Really?
I think those betas are $200.
SM58 is literally $99.
And the most versatile microphone in the world, the SM57, is $100 as well.
There you have it, people.
If you need a podcasting rig.
Just use some real ass microphones.
Yeah.
Are they made in America though?
Because if they are.
Probably.
Like.
Yeah.
Just like I didn't see you fucking salute that flag when you walked by it earlier.
Jim.
I didn't hear you.
I didn't hear you.
Constantly singing in the national anthem at every moment. I don't. I don't hear you constantly singing in the national anthem at every moment.
I don't know.
There's something really dark brewing.
Because, like, what's the end goal of all of that?
I mean, like, I don't know.
It's like you see these videos, and I don't know.
You know, you see dipshits making videos like that, like, five years ago.
And you're like,'s you know it doesn't
matter obama's president you know things are pretty fucking shitty but in their own specific
way like these assholes are never gonna have any kind of influence i'll be damn and here we are
you know i mean but this shit is weak compared to how our grandparents felt.
They were like, oh my God, I'm in my 20s or teens,
and we just dropped an atomic bomb on another country.
What the fuck is happening?
Everything is going to shit.
Yeah.
So, I mean, there could be a lot worse shit going on.
100%.
Definitely.
Don't you think it would be...
Actually, I'm not going to say it.
Just say it.
We initiated it out.
No.
Were you going to say...
Don't you think it would be kind of cool...
If someone bombed the United States?
Actually, that would be kind of cool.
I mean, you know, I don't mean like...
I don't want people to actually get hurt.
But if it was like...
If someone dropped a bomb on White Sands
where they dropped the original.
Yeah, and it killed no one.
It's like a commemorative.
It's like a nod.
Yeah.
Jordan Peterson just to remember.
Putin is going to do that.
We would never want that because the United States is that type of person
that someone like flings a rubber band at them
and that motherfucker gets a goddamn a rubber band at them and that
motherfucker gets a goddamn fan belt
and beats them with it.
You know the retaliation
is just so over the top.
The punishment doesn't fit the crime.
You're right.
It would be funny though.
Putin fucking flying
the jet himself.
I dropped it.
I don't know why he sounds French. Putin fucking flying the jet himself. Like, I dropped a bomb.
I don't know why he sounds French.
Me and Tom were doing this French voice yesterday.
It was ridiculous.
Anyways, man, look at this.
It seems like every conversation goes right into the next.
It's really not staged either.
I'm a retired... I can't fuck it.
This is killing me.
I'm a retired military man
and had the privilege
of attending the memorial service
held at the Veterans Center
in the city of Whitesburg
on May 25th.
I heard Mayor Kraft
give one of the best speeches
I've heard in my entire career.
Military career.
Damn.
Particularly those
for a memorial service for all of our fallen heroes it was so good like i mean what kind how how could like what mayor craft who can barely
you know is is more brain addled than trump is like can barely string together sentences
what kind of speeches were you getting in the military if that was if that's i
don't know newt rockne all americans that's who it was ronald rega let's win one for the gipper i
mean kansas yeah yeah pretty good pretty good dear speak your, no, that one's a little too serious.
A certain person who is under house arrest for child molestation has been making his brags about how he is going to be released.
Liars get what they deserve.
Have a nice day.
I don't know.
I couldn't really see that one actually working out.
Let's keep that motherfucker on house arrest.
Did they say house release or arrest?
Yeah.
I got a question. Keep him at the house away from the kids. house release or arrest? Yeah. This one's...
I got a question.
Keep him at the house away from the kids.
Here's my thing, though.
Like, okay.
Child molester, sure.
Liar, unproven.
He's not at...
Which is worse in this scenario?
There's no big sin or little sin in the eyes of god that's true that is true that is one of the
weird perversities of christianity it like totally um it totally skews your idea of morality it's
like hey under the same it's like telling a little white lies the same as fucking murdering 16 people. In God's eyes. Drunkards, rapists, homosexuals.
Harlots.
Harlots.
It's like some of these things are not the same.
We should rewrite the Bible for basics and just be like,
all fakes and liars are going to have their part in the lake of fire.
Everybody that's like honest and loyal is going to heaven.
We should do that, man.
Thomas Jefferson rewrote the Bible and had his own Bible.
This is how self-obsessed this motherfucker was.
He rewrote the Bible to fit his own.
The Trillbillies need to do that.
And all these secular humanist nerds are really into him doing that.
Totally into that.
You're right.
People who call themselves classical liberals.
Basically French people.
That's a lost...
Yes, in France.
In France, we take
Jesus out of the Bible.
In France, we fuck
in the church.
How you say
the hollandaise
Is on the floor
And
Everybody
Is a fucking
In America
Not so much
In America
No it's not
Not so much
Oh shit
I'm not even sure if that's
The French accent we're doing
The segment from
Somebody Roasted On my own goddamn podcast Joe Burrow did the segment from somebody.
Roasted on my own goddamn podcast.
There is a little Borat that creeps in there.
You just can't avoid it.
We're plagiarizing somebody, surely.
What were we just talking about there?
What were we talking about?
That is a lost archetype, sort of.
Or it is one that you don lost archetype sort of or it
is one that you don't see much as much of anymore is the uh the secular humanists sort of libertarian
atheist type yeah yeah they were their heyday was i don't know man they could be resurgent again
with the jordan petersons and joe rogans and and just a little more right wingy than they used to be.
Probably. Yeah, I think you're probably correct.
Sam Harris times.
They seem like all in the same little boys
club. Right.
Oh, shit, fellas.
This thing is fucking up.
I've got a good speaker
piece, though, for you saved up.
So.
Podcast. Let's see hold on podcast what podcast
he calls it for uh non offending
pedophiles
we are okay shit
let me get out of this thing
hold on
yeah
whoa Oh shit.
We're recording straight into...
There we go.
There we go.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Anyways. Actually, I don't know why I didn't think about this
If you did
You could do like a
That's pretty nice
I could put a soundtrack onto the show
Yeah I like that a lot
But it's kind of difficult I'm sure to play that while you're talking about stuff.
Especially with one hand.
I'm podcasting and...
Tickling the keys.
You've been to a wild wedding.
Let's get some funky ass shit going with it.
Okay, all right. Let's put that aside. Let's start some funky ass shit going with it. Okay, all right.
Let's put that aside.
Let's start an electronic trio.
We should change the entire fucking podcasting game, man.
Just start writing music on the show.
I thought that would be kind of a funny concept idea, though,
for a podcast.
Tenure?
We write a song as a podcast.
Or all of our dialogue.
An entire episode.
Comes with song lyrics.
Yeah, yeah.
Or an entire episode would be structured like us talking and then playing a song.
And then we talk a little bit and then we play a song.
Sounds like playing a show.
We'll just go play a show and someone can
record it.
Book us and we'll
release our first podcast.
What was the...
Was Buck Owens, what was his show, Hee Haw?
Maybe he was the first podcaster.
That's basically what they did. Buck Owens was
the first podcaster, yeah.
It's just a variety show.
Like, that's how, like, out of touch
we are. We just think we're reinventing
the wheel. Yeah. Old folks are like,
well, that's just a variety show.
That's just it. Back in my day.
So I guess Tanya got a shout out
in this one. Pine Creek has some
of the hottest housewives I have witnessed.
I just want to tell those lonely housewives i have witnessed i just want to
tell those lonely housewives that romeo is back in town damn lock your doors ladies oh my god
all right here's a really good one i double starred this one i just wanted to let i just
wanted to let certain people know i left that cool cigarette pack in the forks of that little maple tree
just so they will know that I really do know where their pot patch is.
And he's like, and I'm waiting.
I'm going to cut it down and I'm going to smoke every bit of it.
I don't know.
Just you see.
I don't know.
The person with the pot patch would be reading
Speak Your Peace presumably
and being like I saw a goddamn cool
something's gotta be a mess there
I don't know one person that smokes cool
yeah
are they menthols?
yeah I think so
we were talking the other day
remember the first thing that Obama did when he was in office
was ban cloves
he banned cloves take that you fucking angsty goths
we've got a youth problem in this country yeah we got all these goths living in their parents
basements smoking this weird shit everybody doesn't get you high or anything. It just ruins your lungs.
Everybody I know that smokes cloves,
their favorite band is like AFI
or like those type of bands.
Well, Obama tried to get rid of it, man.
Coheed and Cambria.
It's called like Kretek or Kretek, isn't it?
I have no idea.
K-R-E-T-E-K.
What's that?
I don't know.
They like Crackle.
I think people just like them
because it's like the Rice Krispies of tobacco.
Like, because they crackle when you smoke them.
Close cigarettes.
There is an appealing thing about that.
Like, remember Pop Rocks when you were a kid?
Yeah.
It's an interactive experience.
I don't know.
I just like plain old normal ass food.
Plain old normal ass tobacco.
Cigarettes.
Cigarettes.
Winston's.
But I haven't smoked in quite a while.
When you smoked cigarettes, what did you smoke?
I liked Camel Wides and Latz Orful flavors.
Then I'd roll my own cigarettes a lot with,
uh,
you remember the shag,
like Turkish,
uh,
gold,
Turkish,
silver,
camel cigarettes.
Yeah.
That was like their teenager,
cheaper cigarettes.
Yeah.
Um,
they just,
for some reason,
they had like some kind of a subtle different flavor.
Yeah.
Um,
but I thought that like a camel wide full flavor was fucking delicious. But I thought, like, a Camel Wild Full flavor was fucking delicious.
I used to really like Camel Lights.
Yeah.
I still like them.
When I went to New York a few years ago, I had some with me.
And they're cheap as fuck, $3.50 here.
A pack of Camel Lights costs you $3.50 here.
It's like $12 in New York or something.
It's like $10 in New York.
They were astounded people
that I brought some with me
from Kentucky
and people were astounded
that I was like handing it out
in front of the bar.
I bet you obtained
unreasonable power
at a social level, didn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, damn,
cigarettes are more expensive
than weed in this city.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
I think that's probably true
at a lot of places.
Damn.
Is that technically contraband?
Does that mean
Is that technically
Like you're bringing in
Tobacco
Yeah it's very illegal
To do that
To sell it
Yeah
But if you gave them
To your friends
No yeah
You can give cigarettes
To anybody
I guess
As long as they're
Over the age of 18
Right
Right
Wink wink
Right
Hey I'm
I'm cool man Hey man I'm cool i'll give you a cigarette
you little 10 year old you want a cigarette fuck yeah here you go dude
smoke up man it's like you're gonna get dizzy and you're gonna hate it
and maybe maybe you'll never smoke and this will be good yeah you're doing a service dads would do that to try to to try to persuade their kids from not like sure fuck it take a drag make
them smoke like 40 cigarettes and make them throw up right right like that's how you're gonna
fucking learn son here you gotta put a dip in too god damn i've gotten sick as fuck Off dip before I dipped for a long time It was It's tough sometimes
Dip
In the early going
Didn't like a few weeks ago
Maybe we were watching
It might have been back
As far as when
We were watching
College basketball
Or maybe recently
With the NBA
But
Wasn't people talking
About putting a
Dip pouch in their asshole
That was me and you I think somebody That was somebody yes some man some of my buddies used to
fuck around and put them in our armpits and between our toes and i mean i'm not speaking
from experience i never put anything in my asshole that's because we were taught we were
also talking of yes i remember this specific moment we were talking about putting icing in
your lip like a dip. Yeah.
It's funny to think of historical figures with dips in.
Could you imagine Michelangelo doing the Sistine Chapel with a fucking dip in?
Dip in.
He's got a little plastic water bottle spitting in it.
The label twirl. Oh.
The label tore off.
That's probably a total affectation.
Just knowing what I know about David Foster Wallace,
but the rumor was that he dipped.
He did.
You're right.
That's what I've heard about him as well.
I've definitely dipped before.
It was a fun experience.
I've tried tobacco every possible way you can try it.
Shooting it up?
No.
How would you even do that?
You get all the tar off of the inside of... You go to an airport where they have the smoking rooms
and you scrape the fucking tar off the wall
and then you melt that down in a spoon,
put it in a syringe and shoot it up.
And then it kills you.
And then you're dead.
And then you're dead.
No, but like,
I like the shredded, like,
the jawbacker.
The jawbacker.
The one you call backer.
My grandpa chews that shit.
In the pouch.
It's just so sweet tasting.
It tastes so good.
Like Levi Garrett,
like the...
Red Man.
Yeah, Red Man.
And most dip is like,
the fine cut dip and stuff
is just like,
if you pound it up
a mint,
a mint like a super strong mint
with a hammer
and then just put that powder
in your lip
and left it in there.
I feel like that's what dip is.
But you ever, the snuff stuff,
that little fine powdered tobacco
that you snort a little tiny bit?
I was into that in college.
That was awesome.
I was like, holy shit.
I was like, it feels like I smoked
like three cigarettes in a millisecond.
It's also, if you're-
It's like the cocaine of tobacco.
I was gonna say, if you're into Coke,
it also kind of makes your nose sort of runny,
and it kind of gives you the same sort of physical sensation.
Huh.
If you like cocaine...
I'll tell you the real heroes of the whole thing
are people that dip fine cut.
Yeah.
People that dip fine cut.
Oh, that's what I was talking about.
God damn.
The stuff that's just like powdered mint.
My dad dips, yeah, my dad dips long cut it's like you know how how bob goddamn you know how like
pepsi burns when you drink it yeah it's like if you combined the burn of pepsi and the
extreme mint flavor of like a an extremely mint mint. Could you imagine like Obama could have probably banned coal and maybe not have had like an armed insurrection of chuds in this country.
But if he would have banned dip, like the sky, they would have been like, we're banning coal from the earth.
We're going to take every bit of it out of the ground.
And coal.
And we're going to burn it.
And it just so happens to be located near some water.
That will get hot inevitably.
And then somehow we'll make electricity out of it.
To make sure that this power never falls in the wrong hands.
We're taking all the coal from the earth.
We're mining all the coal in the earth and we're going to dump it in the middle of the ocean.
Banning coal. The Mariana Trench. We're going to fill it from the earth. We're mining all the coal in the earth, and we're going to dump it in the middle of the ocean.
I'm banning coal.
The Mariana Trench, we're going to fill it up.
Effective immediately.
The coal mines that are in existence,
might as well use that method to extract this.
Now banned.
We could put people to work putting shit back in the coal mines.
I mean, fuck it.
Write a grant.
You could make like a baller restaurant and hotel and shit back in a mine portal.
Some of them are gigantic.
Yeah, huge.
There was this one that me and,
I think it was Jay,
maybe back a little bit before you started doing that work, saw this.
I mean, it looked like a high school gym.
Yeah.
It was just this gigantic open room.
And I'm like, I do not want to go in there.
I was like, it just seems like the whole thing is just going to fall in.
The fucking ceiling is like 20 feet high.
Dude, I've talked to guys who have been underground who talk about, like, when the mountain moves.
Like, because it's, you know,
it's a porous object.
And, you know,
it can shift from time to time.
So they'll talk about
being underground
and having the rock above them
literally move.
And that just how,
it just feels like...
That's terrifying.
Yeah, yes.
It just feels so eerie.
That's horrible.
It's so, it's terrifying. That's,. Yeah, it just feels so eerie. It's horrible. It's terrifying.
I mean, it's a fucking scary, difficult job, I'm sure.
Yeah.
But then they still just throw them fucking peanuts.
Yeah.
Even $28 an hour ain't shit for having to be under the earth.
Moving earth.
Use all this crazy extreme equipment,
and at any moment it could fucking explode
or the top could fall in on you.
It is really weird
to think about.
It's terrifying.
It's weird to think about
2018 like we still
burn a rock.
That's it.
That's energy.
We just burn a rock
and we send people
into the earth to get it.
I don't know.
You know what's crazy
about some of these strip sites?
You know,
you were talking about
the portals
and putting shit in them.
Yeah.
There is a strip site in Martin County that could, you could, you were talking about the portals and putting shit in them. Yeah. There is a strip site
in Martin County
that could,
you could put the city
of Washington, D.C.
and Cairo, Egypt on.
Like,
Yeah.
You could just like,
pick them up
and move them there.
That's fucking insane.
As they stand today.
That's insane.
That's a lot of land.
Yeah.
Well,
that's just a strip site.
This is not like
Martin County, Kentucky.
This is just one MTR site.
Well, I think that they used to talk about,
I used to see a statistic a few years ago
that said like over 40% of the entire land
in Knott County was stripped,
which is phenomenal to think about.
It's just really crazy to think about.
Google Earth looking at Appalachas like stunning and
depressing at the same time if you go through it's just like some of these just gigantic pieces of
land and if you could compare it to like you can look at the size of like i don't know pike
bull or something and then use that to scale be like damn that's like four pike bulls that
fucking place well what's crazy is crazy about doing Google Earth on that
is that you can't tell from on the ground what's around you.
Like, I went to go get my hair cut the other day,
and Kevin, the guy that works there,
was telling me about this huge lake out on Sand Lake,
out near Sand Lake on the road you take
to get to, like, High Hat in Floyd County.
And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
He was like, yeah, man, just a massive retention pond.
He said that's bigger than fish pond.
And I didn't even know that existed.
They were just hiding.
Yeah.
And so I checked it out.
You can go to Google Earth.
You look at it.
And there's this massive retention pond and then a fucking dam, basically a wall.
And then you look at it and if that thing busts,
that entire collar will be shit.
And you think about how many of those just exist around
and we don't even know about them.
But there are some that are really striking.
In West Virginia, Kentucky really got lucky
in some of those cases because in West Virginia, Kentucky really got lucky in some of those cases
because in West Virginia, West Virginia is so fucked.
Yeah.
Just like the fact that there will be a massive retention pond over schools.
And that doesn't even show you, I mean, unless you really zoomed in,
all the gas well pads.
Yeah.
It's a recipe for disaster.
It is.
It is.
It is.
They're just fucking all the land up.
It's like West Virginia is really probably the most beautiful state in the United States.
Could be.
It is.
And they're just, I mean, like.
Well, you know, it's funny you say that.
It's unfortunate what lies beneath it, I guess.
Hoopman, I was texting with Hoopman today, and he told me something that sounded incredulous
and sounded like I need to research.
But he said when the USGS, the Geological Service,
was doing surveys in West Virginia in the mid-19th century,
they had a hard time documenting any trees at all.
Everything had been so clear-cut just from logging.
You look at some of the pictures here, too.
Here was like that, too.
You look at old pictures of Whitesburg, and it looks insane because all the hills.
It looks nothing.
Yeah, like in the mid-1860s or so, all the hills around it were totally fucking logged.
Yeah, it looks like a fucking desert almost.
It is a really interesting
thing to think about how resilient the fucking
ecosystem is around here.
It underwent something like
that and still was able to bounce back to
its very current lush
biodiverse.
You're saying we have a chance now.
Well, we don't, but the environment
The reason people have to do this kind of shit
to begin with and alter the environment so much
is because there's too many motherfucking people on Earth.
I mean, really, in the quickness,
we're gonna have eight trillion people.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah, you're probably right.
We are at seven billion's it's seven billion
i'm just joking with the trillion thing but but it is like seven rhetorical it is like seven billion
six or seven hundred million or something like that yeah and and if you look at like the population
every year it's growing at least a hundred and some million every year and so there's just too many fucking people
there's a lot of goddamn people um you're when your population is like exponentially growing
every year like what's the death toll i think about that a lot like somebody just died just now
yeah i'm probably like one of these days that'll be us we'll be fucking dying while some 12 year old is jacking
off for the first time i'll be all a bit on my deathbed or maybe i'll be getting ripped apart
by a bear or something who the fuck knows but some kids tons of cars will be crashing and people will
be uh i'm not having babies in that exact moment i'm i'm gonna be raptured out so there'll be
people getting their heads cut off somewhere too right right right
someone locked in a basement that they've been locked in for 18 years somehow finally freeze
themselves the moment you die or the moment some 14 year old busts his first nut into somebody
and then didn't you have a friend that got his girlfriend pregnant the first time they lost
their virginity very first time that's a cautionary tale wow first time he was like fuck dude did he have to marry her no no
that was a weird that was a weird question it's crazy though because now the kid is literally 15
we were 15 when i was 15 when he was born i got i'm going to dox this little fucking kid but like the thing
is he's not even a little kid anymore. He's a fucking
he's almost about to graduate high school.
He's already busted his first nuts.
A lot of them.
Well what did they end up doing?
Like I'm so curious.
Is it some kind of teen mom
MTV scenario?
Well my high school had an alternative
school for
girls that got pregnant when they were teenagers.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, there was a lot at my high school.
That's crazy.
But, yeah, no, she, I mean, I don't know.
I still see her.
She actually, never mind, I'm not going to give details.
The more details I give, the easier it is to narrow down who I'm talking about.
I don't know.
We're not doctors on this program.
Anyways, speaking of that, I was watching this documentary last night.
Do you know Vox, that website?
Yeah.
They've got these annoying documentaries, little 18-minute short documentaries on Netflix.
They're so annoying annoying i can't stop
watching them yeah well i've only watched one i'm like the i'm like the the patriot guy flag
the flag yeah oh man what what what you know about the vox docks
fucking fly and jay won't play Vox in their goddamn gas stations.
Yeah, why don't y'all get Vox News up there?
Why don't you get Vox News at the Valero?
God damn it.
You know, the ultimate...
Oh, that was pleasant.
That was pleasant.
The ultimate gas station is Sheetz.
Sheetz is good.
Oh, Sheetz is unfuckwithable.
Like, you go in there and be like, oh,'m hungry i could eat anything right now and and they'll make anything the menu
is so insane if you go to sheets just ask them for anything you can conceive of and they will
make and i think the food it's pretty good no seriously i can be like get tots tater tots with
jalapenos and cheese and all kinds of the craziness on it.
Yeah.
Or some pizza or a fucking quesadilla or...
Just anything.
I don't know.
Yeah, there's a lot of options.
And for someone that eats meat, there's even more options.
A million things.
Yeah.
In New Mexico, we have Allsup's.
Allsup's?
Allsup's.
And they sell fried...
Home of the Gut Bomb Burrito.
Home of the Gut Bomb Fried Burrito.
And the funny thing is, dude,
is that in high school and lunch,
they used to feed us that shit.
Like, once a week,
that was one of the menus.
You got gas station food.
The gas station fried burritos.
That's the way it is.
Do they have showers and stuff?
No.
Sheets has showers. Allsup's do not have showers and stuff? No. She's had showers.
Gals do not have showers.
I feel like we buried the lead here
because I wanted to talk about Matt hanging out
with Kid Rock. I tried to pivot to that.
I know. You had a couple
of cues and then I was just
deer in a headlight.
Literally the only reason.
Well, I was going to swing back to it after I talked about the gas station bathroom.
It's all, it's all, it's all good.
We've got a, that was a good hour and 10 minute warmup.
True.
For the actual episode we're about to record.
Now we've got the kinks out, baby.
All right, one more hour.
Yeah, really though, how did that go down?
Carrie and I were going to Nashville
to go to the Ryman Auditorium
and watch Tyler Childers and Margo Price play.
And Jesse, who's Carrie's brother,
is in Tyler's band and got us these really awesome seats's Carrie's brother, is in Tyler's band
and got us these really awesome seats for Carrie's birthday at the Ryman.
I could have untied Margo Price's shoelaces.
I could have spit on Jack White's knee.
You should have untied his shoelaces and then tied them together
so that he tries to stand up.
No, if I would have even attempted to do something
like that i'm sure somebody would have tackled it but um so yeah you know it was a good experience
uh but anyways on the way on our way down there uh we're about halfway or or so and jesse text And Jesse texts Kareem's like, going to go have lunch at Bobby Ritchie,
a.k.a. Kid Rock's house.
And we're like, what?
I was like, that's kind of random and crazy.
And, you know, all that was going on.
And I think we all got up together after that and he was telling
us about it and i was like that's funny um you know i was like oh you know that's pretty random
and cool but i just went about my day and uh we had flash forward to uh going to the concert.
Everything's real.
You know,
had a good time.
The concert was great.
We were leaving.
We're going to try to get a ride back to the hotel.
And Jesse's like,
well,
Kid Rock
texted me
and told me to come on up.
And
and I'm like,
oh shit, really?
And I think he might have probably jokingly said want to go. But I'm like, oh shit, really? And I think he might have probably jokingly said want to go,
but I was like, absolutely.
Because I don't give a fuck who it would be, any celebrity.
Yeah, I would have gone it for sure.
For the story, if nothing else.
Yeah, you can't turn down going to Kid Rock's house.
So I was like, absolutely, I want to go, yes.
But Carrie didn't want to.
I think she was envisioning probably the same thing I was.
Because at this point, it was like 12, 30 or something like that.
Central time.
So we're all fucked up.
It's almost 2 o'clock for me at that point.
But you have to.
Yeah, you got to do it.
I don't give a fuck who i mean name somebody
a name a celebrity that you wouldn't go to their house if you had an opportunity to if your friend
was like let's go up to anybody's house um james woods actually no i would definitely go actually
you're right i would go in any scenario yeah actually the more right wing they are i would go
yeah i want to check out i want to check out your shit.
I want to see what your life's like.
I want to see if you're as human as I am.
Randy Quaid would be a good slip to-
He's like lost his mind now.
Oh, man.
He's on the run though, isn't he?
I think so.
He's a fugitive.
He's a fugitive on the run, man.
But you're right.
I would totally do it.
Yeah.
Especially considering his living conditions, which are, if I'm not mistaken, a trailer.
Yeah.
It's a double wide.
On a massive piece of.
Yeah, it's a camouflaged double wide trailer on top of a mountain.
I actually looked it up later.
Somebody said it was in some of his music videos, like more recent ones.
Really?
I wonder if that's where
he shot the American
Badass Grill commercial at.
Maybe.
He's got this crazy
huge complex.
But anyways,
I love him.
Oh yeah,
I just thought
I wouldn't go to
either of the people
in ICP's houses.
You wouldn't go to
Shaggy or
Val and Jay's house?
No,
I just really could
never associate myself
with that.
I would, for sure.
I mean, but then you'd be having to hang out with them,
and you know that you wouldn't have anything in common with them.
Or maybe you would.
I think you would be surprised
at how much you would have in common with them.
Yeah.
Mostly because...
Maybe that's what you're trying to avoid.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want it.
You don't want that. You don't want that.
You don't want anything.
They're going to be perfectly nice.
You don't want to look into that mirror.
They're going to be perfectly nice, wonderful hosts,
and you're going to hate that you like them a little bit.
Yeah, they're going to be super nice people.
And that's the disappointing thing.
No, but you see people who are worth millions of dollars,
and you see all these people on TV and hear them on the radio and stuff all the time.
It's like they really do gain this bigger-than-life aura about them.
They're always immediately recognizable no matter what you go.
It's almost like if you knew what a shape looked like, but you'd never seen one in real life.
Right. And then suddenly it's like, holy shit'd never seen one in real life. Right.
And then suddenly it's like, holy shit, there's a square over there.
Right.
It's like just a shot.
And the square knows it's a square.
It's like everything has squares on it.
Like, you know, everything is a square.
Like a computer looks like a square.
But you actually saw a real life square in real life.
And oh my God.
And that square sang a song called Baw Baw Baw.
Yeah.
That perfect
platonic
form
eternal form.
Same
Baw Baw Baw.
So I
Is he going to get
rehabilitated?
Is that what's
going to happen?
Check this out.
Let's buckle up.
My bad.
So my Continue. Absolutely incredible brother-in-law hey let's buckle up yeah my bad so my continue
absolutely
incredible
brother-in-law
who
is just so much
better than me
in every aspect
of his life
like he's just
really put the work in
and is
good at
recording shit
playing every instrument
you can imagine
all this
he also hooks me up with going to a multimillionaire's house.
That's some baller shit.
But anyways, I didn't beg him, but I'm persistent.
Like, yeah, I think it'd be really funny.
Please take me to my favorite musician, Kid Bob Rickman.
He rocks.
Please take me.
So flash forward a little bit.
We're rolling up there.
We've traveled from the hotel to an undisclosed location.
Right.
Did they blindfold you like when they were taking Sean Penn to Chopper?
No, we had the address.
He just put it in his phone.
I'm sure a lot of people in Nashville know where he lives.
They put a bag over your head and spin you around 20 times?
You can't know where the kid lives.
So we go up there and we get to this,
I mean, like it's wandering and winding and all the way up.
I mean, surprisingly, like a pretty high elevation
because you can see
over i mean once i'm there but like on top of that mountain you can see nashville out in the
distance it look i mean it's about 15 miles um i'm not sure what direction but uh you know and
there's just this crazy skyline but we'll get to that in a second um we so we get to the the gate so that we go to
the address and there's a gate and i'm like immediately i just feel like nervous because
i'm like oh shit yeah i should have known there's going to be some kind of process i've got
there's protocols yeah and so uh i press the call call the person button and and i'm just
it's ringing and i'm just sitting there.
And I'm just like,
and Jesse's like,
just say it's the fiddler from Tyler Childers Band.
And I said, okay.
And so I'm just like feeling like I'm sweating.
Not because I'm like, I don't know.
I just don't want to do something wrong
and like fuck up this experience. And so I'm sitting, I don't know. I just don't want to do something wrong. Right. And, like, fuck up this experience.
And so I'm sitting there, and it's ringing,
and then it just goes, brr, and they're like,
it's just like a dead tone, and I'm like, oh, shit.
I said, what should we do?
It crackles, and it goes, my name is Kate.
And he's like, get your asses up here and the gate bursts open
fireworks explode over your fucking head
so um but you know security dude this big huge uh giant like black cadillac pulls up behind us
and there's all these wild lights looking inside and stuff but jesse
gets out and the guy comes up and gets us in there and gate opens up and we start rolling up in there
and you know it's a super long driveway it's winding up this hill all the way up there um
and the whole you know i feel like the whole time even when i knew it was a possibility to
to go to a celebrity's house,
I was imagining, based on their public persona, what's going to greet me here?
What should my expectations be?
Right.
In the back of my mind, I kind of did want to roll up onto this crazy wild party where people are shooting guns,
and there's people getting champagne
sprayed all over their asses and chests.
Yeah, porn stars and stuff.
Yeah, or just any person
getting champagne sprayed on them,
some kind of buck wild stuff.
ICPs there.
ICPs there.
Yeah.
Standing on top of the house,
on top of the trailer playboy bunny
you know he seems like a kind of guy that would party with play people flipping people uh on a
big huge skateboard half-pipe people are just riding four four-wheelers in them like that i'm
like it's gonna be like an episode of jackass no yeah i didn't really i thought it was i don't
know i just thought people were going to be like real fucked up and might want to do wild stuff.
Not to that level or anything.
But you were ready for that.
I was ready for it.
And so I roll up and there's this real nice building and with this truck that has this real cool custom paint job.
It's actually from a guy actually from Kentucky.
I think maybe Moorhead.
I may be butchering the details on this.
But had actually painted that for him and, like, I guess sold it.
I don't know.
I don't know the whole story of it,
but that was cool that there was an Eastern Kentucky connection there.
I think it was like a Jeb or something.
Right.
I don't know.
And so we roll up there, and I would just park behind these cars.
And, I mean, the first thing you see after there's that building with the
truck and stuff is this just
huge flagpole with the American
flag just whipping around all over
the place like flags do.
And sitting beneath it is this
massive fucking Ford
F-150 or
350 or whatever with camo
trim all over it.
And then sitting behind that is this
just a normal double wide that's camouflage
you sent me a photo and it looks like there's even floodlights on the house so you
so you can see it at night they're on the flag
and i think maybe on the house a little bit too yeah yeah that's true because you can see it at night. They're on the flag. Oh, yeah, okay. And I think maybe on the house a little bit, too.
Yeah, that's true because you can't,
it's sort of like a flag can't touch the ground,
like it can't fly in the dark.
It can't fly at night.
You know, you gotta have lights on it.
Because the dark is like the ground.
Exactly, yeah.
It's foul and unclean.
I mean, most big flags that I have seen
on flagpoles around
were lit up pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a massive one
on the way to Prestonsburg.
Have you ever seen,
well, Tom,
you'll probably remember this,
back in like the late 90s
in Pikeville,
the American flag
that flew in that
Bruce Walters...
It's at Kinzer Drilling
now, right?
No, there is a big one
at Kinzer,
but it was bigger than that
or at least my child brain
remembered it
as being absurdly large,
but there was this
absurdly large American flag
in what is now
Bruce Walters'
Toyota car lot
on that first exit
to Pikeville. But anyways,
it was always lit up, all that shit. I'm like,
damn, it looks crazy. It's this giant flag.
So maybe I can connect
that memory to the
memory of seeing Kid Rock's flag all lit up.
Dude, some of those
flags in Texas are like the size of football
fields. They're fucking massive.
They just try to make them bigger and bigger and bigger.
You know, I actually think there's something that I really like about that.
Like, I think a gigantic American flag is actually kind of sweet.
Well, isn't it kind of interesting?
For the most part, I get frustrated with the United States and all that.
But there's some...
The states, the people might be horrible,
but the states themselves are so fucking beautiful
that it makes me like the American flag.
It seems like you see a lot of...
My eyes are always fucking my life up.
Right.
It's interesting.
It seems like you see a lot of them at car lots.
Yeah.
That's always a constant sort of aesthetic choice at a car lot.
They're always trying to sell you America.
A slice of America.
Yeah.
You know, or you see them at, like...
Even though it's all foreign cars.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Like a bunch of a row of Toyotas and a massive American flag.
I heard that fee word sorry
it's a perfect uh anyways i'm not gonna narrate maybe i should narrate your
i could probably use a little bit of music for this next part all right all right um
so yeah the american flag uh some you know i roll up to that and i'm like
wow it it really is a camouflaged double-eyed up on top of this mountain with the most insane
view i mean i didn't get to see it in the daylight i had to see it at night right
well when i saw that shit the first time i saw that shit on the internet i thought that's like
some sort of gimmick thing like he's got that on some plot of land and his main
house is some massive thing.
And it might be. Who knows?
It might just be a gimmick,
but it seemed livable.
This part of the story doesn't matter,
but I was afraid to go in the house, so I didn't go in.
It's like
David Lynch.
We're taking you into Cridge Rock's house
as a David Lynch film
see
100% of the story
happens on the patio
of the back of the
of the double wide
yeah
so play some patio music
some patio music
he said patio music
that's what I listen to on my patio that sounds like he didn't say stalker He said patio music.
That's what I listen to on my patio.
That sounds like a stalker thriller.
Jacuzzi tub sweet in the back of the trailer music.
Oh, there's a jacuzzi tub in this story.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, then put a pin in A64 because that's what you hear in a jacuzzi. It's funny how, I mean, we do have to make this
extremely boring
story more exciting than what it
really is, but
here it goes. So
so
Minch has to get up out of the car and, you know, he's already
been there, but I'm just in awe.
And so we walk
over, we see Tyler out there and we walk up
and just talking to him a little bit
and,
uh,
and some other,
a couple of other guys from the band.
And,
and,
uh,
so we're like,
all right,
uh,
you know,
we're going to go,
I guess they'd already been there,
but,
um,
so we roll,
we're rolling around to go to the back deck where everybody's hanging out
root note.
And, uh, and I'm just talking And I'm just talking to them, walking around the trailer.
We get on the back deck.
I mean, it's still, even though it's like, it's kind of like, I don't know.
It was just a, yeah, I need the music.
I don't know.
It was just a... Yeah, I need the music.
I turn around and I see this skinny,
maybe six foot one tall man
dressed completely in black.
He's got these extremely shiny,
probably very expensive leather shoes on.
These perfectly form-fitting black pants.
I don't know.
I can't tell if they're dress pants or jeans
from where I'm standing at the moment.
And this silken black shirt
with the top two or three buttons unbuttoned
with maybe some kind of frilly fucking
Ed Hardy-looking bullshit on it.
I don't know.
All black, regardless.
And this little hat
not quite a
trilby not quite a
what the other kind of
shitty looking hat is
well fedoras real fedoras
are kind of cool but anyways
all dressed in black
and then suddenly I'm like
even though I knew this moment was going to come
I'm like oh shit it's
Kid Rock.
So you said that audibly? No.
No. I just kind of like
was like okay
now I just gotta act cool.
I'm like hey
look I'm talking to Tyler Childress.
Kid Rock. Mr. Kid Rock.
So me and
like just kind of standing around.
There's these two guys I don't know.
Just trying to fit in.
They've got some kind of marijuana cigarette.
And I'm like, just trying to fit in.
Should I smoke it?
Did you call it a marijuana cigarette?
It was actually like the roach of a blunt, pretty much.
And yes, I did smoke it with these strange gentlemen.
I don't know if they were direct associates of mr rock or not oh i'm sorry mr richie um but you know it was fine i was
like i was looking around and i'm like you know there's not anybody getting champagne sprayed on
their ass and or flipping four-wheelers over into the ditch or like shooting cocaine into everybody's assholes.
In fairness, you didn't go inside, though.
Well, you could see, and there's a bunch of windows.
People just standing around drinking Coors Light,
which, by the way, he had an entire fridge full of Coors Light.
It was really impressive.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, and he was so generous with all of that.
Anyways, walk up and...
It's worth $80 million.
I would hope he's...
Yeah, I mean, you got to...
He's got...
That's just those silver bullets flying left and right constantly.
So, I love this music.
It's really nice.
So, at one point, Jace walks up to him man or he walks up to us i don't remember i was high off of marijuana i was i don't remember what happened
and so um he's like oh yeah i'm really glad you came up, man. And he like looks,
I'm just kind of like hiding back behind like a,
behind Jesse like a fucking embarrassed child that got in trouble or something
or like a puppy,
or a puppy that's afraid of shit.
And then Piedrock like looks around Jesse
at me.
And... We're just to let that hang?
And then he goes, Jesse's like, oh, I almost felt like, oh, shit, am I in trouble?
He doesn't know who I am.
Jesse comes to my rescue, and he's like,
oh, that's my brother-in-law, Matt.
And then Mr. Richie grabs my hand and is like,
oh, hey, Matt, it's really nice to meet you.
I'm Bobby.
I'm Bobby.
And then I'm like
I know who you are
you don't think I know who
I mean like
you're on
every television channel
every radio station
when I was growing up
but I didn't know your name was Bobby
until yesterday
so it's nice to meet you but I didn't know your name was Bobby until yesterday.
So it's nice to meet you.
Is that what you said to him? No, no.
No, absolutely not.
I was like, it's really nice to meet you.
Thanks for having me here or something like that.
Some real generic thing.
I don't know what the fuck to say to anybody,
let alone someone that's worth $80 million.
So was Kid Rock
Bobby?
Was he nice?
Did you...
He was... I mean, he definitely had...
He had definitely been
Tommy Gunned by some
silver bullets
at the time.
But he was incredibly nice.
He was like... Denzel Washington in Training Day.
But with silver bullets.
Yeah.
Just slamming them.
Chain smoked
what I assumed
were probably
extremely expensive cigars.
They smelled very nice.
But there was no grill.
That's what I'm confused about.
No grill at all, huh?
You didn't see the badass American grill?
They didn't need a grill.
There's an island on the back deck
with a stovetop,
like a hibachi fucking stovetop.
This is the most...
And then a flat screen TV behind that.
I mean, like, okay, so imagine all the most mundane shit that everybody has especially in eastern kentucky like a trailer a truck um
you know maybe an above ground pool or something like that just all of that imagine kid rock has
all of it but it's all baller as fuck. Like, allegedly, he has these $4,000 toilets that...
Really?
Yeah, that, like, open up when the lights come on.
$4,000 toilets?
Yeah.
And then they have a remote control, and they have a cooling setting
and a heat-warming setting for the seat and all this other crazy shit.
Descriptions of the luxurious parts of the story.
So I really wish I would have went inside
to...
I should have went inside. I did have
to piss towards the end of the night.
I didn't drink any silver bullets. I dodged
them all night.
But I did need to piss and I wanted to go in.
But then I was like, what if for
whatever reason he like... I just didn't want him to get embarrassed. But then I was like, what if for whatever reason he like,
I just didn't want him to get embarrassed or something.
I was like, what if he stopped me and was like, hey, you can't go.
That's only for like people I know from Nashville and people that are in bands.
But he wasn't like that at all.
He would have been totally cool if you said, I'm going to go blow your toilet up.
Shit.
He'd have been like, go ahead, man.
It's four grand, but whatever.
your toilet up.
Shit.
He'd have been like,
go ahead, man. It's four grand,
but whatever.
But you know,
sometimes you just
have to take on
a persona
to the outside world
to fucking do your hustle
and to be a celebrity
and make money.
It makes sense now.
So you're saying
he's just a normalized
dude like the rest of us.
Yeah, he's just really nice
and just normal
and was just having
some beers with some people
in Nashville
on a Sunday night.
Just a normal guy.
My friend Kid.
I didn't see anyone do any like...
No hard drugs?
No hard drugs.
Damn!
Just a little bit of weed.
That's not very American, man.
Some dips were dipped.
Some music was played.
So Kid Rock's basically like he was in King of the Hill
where he's really into competitive eating.
Yeah.
He's really into talking about music
and sharing his music knowledge.
And he's honestly a really good singer.
So at one point, everybody's standing around playing music,
and he just busts out Not Moves by Bob Seger
and sings it flawlessly, every word.
Dude, I'm going to fucking lose it.
It was...
All of this happened. And then at at one point he was just kind of like
what do you do okay so what do you do in a situation where just some random normal person
even at a bar just starts dancing in front of you but what do you do in that situation if it's
kid rock so when you're at his house was the action sort of like a ass is what you're saying
no no he was like actually enjoying
Like the music that was playing
And was just like
Just getting into it
He was just like
He wasn't like dancing like
Oh look at me
I'm a millionaire
And you're at my house
And you look really uncomfortable
Because of it
He was just like
Grooving with the music
And just like singing
The song along
Like he was doing like
One of these numbers
I'm singing that song
And I'm just dancing around
in front of you.
So you were briefly
in a doo-wop group
with Kid Rock.
When he was just standing there
talking to me,
I mean,
he couldn't have been nicer
and then
he was talking about
all this,
all these different
rock musicians
that had ripped off
these black blues musicians.
He actually framed it
by saying,
let me tell you why black people are better than white people that's what kid rock how kid rock framed it to me
i mean that actually happened
i think the people that heard him say that were Miles Sturgill Simpson's drummer
and Jesse and Tyler and his wife
I think well that makes sense that like
to Kid Rock that would probably make a lot of sense
like in or I mean like
in his mind he'd be like I feel like
he's kind of feels like he's got a maintain
like a veneer of
progressivism
because he's always like don't you guys
feel that way like i can like i feel
like he kind of adopts an artist well no he tries to adopt this more sort of like uh
he's just your classic centrist there's a you think so i really think so
classic mega chad though i thought i thought so too and i thought like the trump thing was
all about like sort of they they're they're woke now too yeah no no it's like i think you know like uh i think he um can maintain some a lot of the
conservative base because of uh shit like camouflage and cars and and uh music videos
with dirty words in them and things like that and stripper related things and and
stuff and people are like fuck yeah i'm a southerner and i'm even though he's a northerner
and then like i'm a southerner i'm wild and i like titties and and and beer and four-wheelers
and shit too and camouflage especially um but then on the other side he he looks me in the eyes and said and tells me why black people are
better than white people and uh which i mean doesn't necessarily make him a progressive
person true good point uh i mean uh i know many are racist that t up things like that. That is true.
That is true.
But look, I mean, the progressive aspect of it was they're better than them because all of these famous white rock and roll musicians wouldn't have careers if they hadn't stolen
music from these black blues musicians.
Me and Tom were talking about that the other day.
And so that's pretty progressive.
Me and Tom were talking about that the other day.
And so that's pretty progressive.
And then the next breath he was like,
that doesn't change the situation at the border.
You know, I mean, like he didn't,
you know, he,
if he was feeling a certain way,
he tiptoed around issues or,
or didn't, um,
you know,
right.
Didn't have anything crazy to say.
Right.
But,
um,
there we go.
We're going back to this,
this vibe.
But at one moment I kind of just distance,
distance myself from,
from a lot of all of these conversations and just standing around.
Then I was just kind of standing on the deck.
The party was kind of going on around you.
It was like that scene in Garden State where everything's in fast motion.
And all the lights of Nashville are twinkling on my face.
Yeah, exactly.
It's pretty far away.
You can see it out in the distance. But I am. i'm standing there admiring the view all of these i mean it
looks like there's a million different little communities surrounding all of this and like
there's you can see the lights of all of them like this is the best fucking view in any city i've ever
been in um and it and uh and so i'm looking around and like all of the like like i've been going back
to the everybody has like a couple of chairs if they gotta are able to sit outside they got a
couple of chairs here's his are like these perfect like solid wood like log patio furniture kind of
like heavy ass nice benches and chairs
and this super nice little
outdoor coffee table stuff.
And you look over and there's this
hot tub that's level with the deck
that you could probably put 15
20 people in. Uh huh.
Super nice. There's this giant
custom made Canadian
sauna
that looks like a big barrel
over in one of the corners.
But there were no naked people in here?
No, everyone was fully clothed.
See, that's the thing.
If someone would have been wearing gloves,
they probably wouldn't have taken them off.
That's really...
If I have that much money,
then again, I don't know.
I don't really party.
You can't do that kind of shit every night.
You can't be wilding out
and showing off every night, especially to a bunch of people from Kentucky that you don't really party. You can't do that kind of shit every night. You can't be wilding out and showing off every night,
especially to a bunch of people from Kentucky
that you don't give a fuck.
Well, I know he really likes their music,
but I don't know.
He just seemed like...
I think it's all for the music videos.
I think that he's just like...
He's obviously a really smart person
because he's built some kind of empire
of weird rap rock kind of shit.
And then like power ballads with duets and stuff.
Sheryl Crow.
Three damn days.
I'm glad y'all invited me to talk about this
because I haven't talked about it in three damn days.
We were talking the other
day about
how doing a song,
because they did a song together. It's funny that they
dated each other, but they also did a song together. Who?
Shell Crow and Kid Rock. Oh, yeah.
I thought, did they really date?
I think they did. Oh, yeah.
I think they did. Did Kid Rock cook
Lance Armstrong? Is that who
she was dating? She was married to him, right? I have no did. Did Kid Rock cook Lance Armstrong? Is that who she was dating at the time? She was married to him, right?
I have no idea.
Well, Carrie knows, like Carrie has an encyclopedia,
well, actually a Wikipedia because it updates of this kind of information.
She's brilliant at knowing a lot about musicians and celebrities and stuff.
She really is.
Which I think is important, too.
Pop culture is pretty important.
We wouldn't be sitting here talking about me
going to a celebrity's house if it wasn't important.
Oh, I remember what I was going to say about Sheryl Crow.
Doing a song with somebody is really,
it's like getting somebody's name tattooed on you.
Yeah, because it's there forever.
It's there forever.
It's a consumable song forever.
Yeah.
You can't get rid of it.
Someone, somewhere, like the FBI busts down somebody's house,
they have a hard drive buried under their floorboards
with this song on it.
Yeah.
They're like...
So let me ask you a question After
Meeting the kid
Bobby
Bobby
Has your opinions on his
Artistic output changed?
Do you
List his music a little differently
Now that you understand the man a little bit?
Well I haven't heard any of it
Since I left there
Other than the one video I checked
I don't even remember what the song was.
I mean, there were four-wheelers
and scantily clad women in the video
and the trailer, the double-wide trailer
with the camouflage on it.
All of that was in there.
And I was like,
that was kind of like,
oh shit, yeah, I was there and i did that it's just
really take any any moment any opportunity you have in your life
to do something that's will be worth telling it's worth doing this is perfect i had uh
you know kind of talking about celebrities that are a little, not really embarrassing to me that you hung out with.
Yeah.
I spent an evening with Guy Fieri one time.
Not a lot of people know this.
In Huntington, West Virginia.
Uh-huh.
I had this, I was in a fraternity in college.
Don't hold that against me.
And one of my fraternity bros, this guy Eric Langermeyer.
And Eric was this kind of like, just tell him like,
one of those kids that just tells like outlandish stuff all the time
so much so that you never know what's like.
Right.
What's true and what's not and whatever.
And one of the things he always told us was that
Guy Fieri's my cousin.
You know?
And everybody would be like, yeah, shut the fuck up, like, man, whatever.
And he's like, no, man, I swear to God, it's true.
And we were at a Mississippi State and UK football game.
It's like five inches of snow on the ground.
It's fucking miserable.
We're getting our ass kicked and uh eric's like you know telling us this big story about how like
gaffieri had this sushi restaurant in california and he went out there and worked for him
one summer and all this stuff and all these like crazy tales about them running
around and doing all this wild partying and whatever so yeah yeah yeah yeah fast forward
december that same year we're having our fraternity semi-formal where you take a
date to this place and you know it's like a little dance type thing or whatever in huntington
west virginia i've been drinking all day and this is when you remember when you remember when
american gangster was out yeah the movie man stories are told just so much better when you've
got oh yeah man it's not i love that well i just remember being really drunk, and I just couldn't quit saying, my man.
You know, like Frank Lucas says in that movie?
Probably very annoying, but anyway, we get to the hotel, and, you know, I'm walking past everybody.
My man, my man.
I get into the elevator, and there's this guy holding this camera that says Food Network on the side of it.
I said, my man.
and there's this guy holding this camera that says Food Network on the side of it.
I said, my man.
He said, hey, I've seen a bunch of you guys running around here getting wild and everything.
What's going on?
I said, well, you know, we were having our little fraternity dance or whatever.
He goes, oh, that's cool.
I go, what are you doing here?
You're Food Network?
What's going on?
He goes, oh, man, we're here.
I'm shooting diners, drive-ins, and dives here at the restaurant in the bottom of the hotel i go that's the that's the guy fieri's show isn't it he goes yeah yeah he goes he's downstairs
you want to go meet him i go listen man i got this guy that's here and he's been swearing up
and down for two years that they're like cousins and telling like all these crazy ass stories i
said can we like try to blow his spot up a little bit just embarrass the shit out of him
i'm gonna go get him and we'll take him down he goes okay yeah yeah where you at so we stop on
the floor i said i said eric i say come on downstairs man you're not gonna believe what
the fuck's going on down here he's like what is it what is it he goes i just don't worry man just
wait so i'm thinking you know like i'm to embarrass the shit out of him, get a good laugh and whatever.
We're going down that elevator and it opens up and there's Guy Fieri just like holding court with a bunch of people like signing autographs and shit.
Fucking in his full majesty.
With 20 women.
Yeah.
majesty with 20 women yeah he he had a t-shirt on that said uh had the white bronco on it and it said uh uh don't drink oj because oj will kill you you know for oj's
he goes he does this he's sitting there he turns around he looks at us and he
does a double take
He goes
Lunchbox
How the fuck are you
I said lunchbox
He goes
That was kind of my nickname
When I was running around
With him out in California
Damn
So he got you
He got me
You got Blade
So Guy Fieri comes up to us
And is like
You know
They're like
Telling tales
He's like
Hey this is my friend Tom
And I'm like Hey hey, man, how's it going?
You know, all this kind of stuff.
And he takes us into that place where, you know, like the little restaurants,
like the coach, whatever the coach from We Are Marshall that died in the plane crash.
I guess it's named after him or something.
And we go in there and, like, he's ordering us exactly what you'd expect Guy Fieri to order us, and
it's Jager bombs.
And so normally I would feign like I could go to the bathroom.
It's the only flavorful drink.
Yeah.
But when Guy Fieri buys it for you, I say, my man.
We're sitting there bullshitting, he's just they're like trading tales
and all this stuff
and he's like super
fucking nice and cool
you know what I mean
yeah
and I hold my hand to God
this girl
walks up to him
and whispers in his ear
I'll suck your dick
to Guy Fieri
to Guy Fieri
blew my fucking mind.
Damn.
I still can't make sense of that.
Like, just that abruptly.
And that's what happens
when you get famous.
I had to,
on that note,
I had to go to the tape
and look up his net worth,
which is,
I guess as of last summer,
was sitting at a cool
8.5 million.
8.5?
Yeah. God damn. That's nothing to sneeze at. That's nothing to sneeze at. That's8.5 million. $8.5? Yeah.
God damn.
That's nothing to sneeze at.
That's nothing to sneeze at.
That's a hell of a lot more money than I've got.
That's like at least $3 million more than I've got.
Here's the thing, though.
Gaffieri turns to her and says, I'm married, but if you want to come back to my hotel room
with my friends, I'll smoke you out.
And so we went to Guy Fieri's hotel room
and got fucking high with Guy Fieri.
And like, he didn't cheat on his wife with this chick
that wanted to suck his dick,
but she got a story too out of it.
Man.
So not only is Guy Fieri morally upright,
he's also gay.
He's also gay.
He's also gay.
He fucked you and all your friends and his inner cousin.
He's like, I don't want her to suck my dick.
I want to fuck you.
He was incestuous with his cousin.
And he fucked all y'all.
He fucked both of you and then finished in his cousin.
You guys could make anything dirty.
All right.
I had a very nice time with Guy Fieri, though.
He was a very nice guy.
Let's call that one.
We have recorded for an hour and 50 minutes.
That's not even including...
Is that including the parts of...
Yeah, it does.
It's all on the same file.
But yeah, I tried my best
to supply
a soundtrack
for this
but
I succeeded
at some parts
didn't do so good
on others
and I apologize
for that guys
that was pleasant
I liked it
next time we do this
I'll tell you
about eating Taco Bell
with Tonya Harding
so just
be thinking about that when you want to.
All right.
Next episode.
Oh, I did get to meet Ghostface.
Actually, Tom did too.
I was with him.
Did you?
Yeah, that was cool.
That's cool.
Well, come on out to Sea Time this weekend.
Come time on the Cedarland.
Come time on the Cedarland.
Come time on the Cedarland.
June 1st and 2nd, Wandsboro, Kentucky.
Yeah.
Have you had a pretty crazy week?
Are you ready for it to be over?
Yeah, I'm pretty exhausted.
Sure.
Yeah.
I'd love for it to be over.
I would love for it to be Sunday.
Here you are, busting ass.
That's not right.
Hold on.
I'll figure something out.
This is the Matt Carter Sea Time-time week sound there we go yeah that's lifting my spirits yeah yeah now it needs to be like you need your drum pad That's got a good feel to it.
I like that.
Yeah, I like that.
All right, here we go.
We've made a song on the podcast.
We need to come up with some sort of arcane name
and start making really ethereal sounding
electronic music.
The Hobbs Rhythm section.
Right here.
All right, everybody.
This is a great show.
I need a,
what I need, man,
is a mic that I don't have to hold.
So you can play the keys.
Yeah, so I can play the keys
like the guy.
Let's start doing a podcast.
When you're,
look, I can hold it.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go go I could buy
A $200 boom
But I guess I'll just get my friend
To hold the mic while I play
Yep
Thanks for coming out everybody
Alright
I'm gonna be
Let's start doing our show
Like a late night show
Or something
Yeah
I could be like The guy on Letterman.
Paul Schaefer?
Paul Schaefer.
I'm going to step back on my role in the Trillbillies, and you two and Tanya, you should fill my
spot, and I'll just do music in the background.
If I have to fill your spot, then I don't know if the podcast will survive.
I'll be like, oh, fuck, I forgot to do it for a month.
Oh, shit.
That's nice.
Go hit our Patreon.
Patreon.com slash Trillbilly Workers Party
forward slash
give us all your money.
No, that's not really part of it.
Go give us five bucks
and we'll
give you good content
and send you...
Give the podcast five dollars
and we'll ask
Guy Fieri if he wants his dick sucked.
He will turn it down. what's the next step it it
it
it
it
all right everybody
this right this is it