Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 87: Tanya Soprano & the Trillbilly Outlaws
Episode Date: March 7, 2019Tanya Soprano brings her NPR totebag to the Pricele$$ budget grocery store and confusion ensues. Also more commentary on how All Cops and Democrats Are Bastards, bikers love rules, and Ilhan Omar's th...e only real one out here. Go visit the Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty
Transcript
Discussion (0)
it's really funny to me when you are talking to somebody and you do what i just did like you give
a like oh yeah i heard this and this and you when something that you know to be true gets back
around to you through the rumor mill and you hear the way it's distorted in the way it's like
it's gotten all these things attached to it. That was a pretty big difference.
It's even better when you plan it and then when it gets back
to you how it's distorted.
A good old fashioned
game of telephone.
Some nice degree chess? Dimensional chess?
Oh my god.
You intentionally
plan something that you know
will get out and you want to see
how many
different things it can get glommed onto it
before it gets back to you.
I did that with my dick one time.
I guess all men have done that.
Glommed onto.
By the time I got back to him,
I said it looked like Toucan Sam's beak.
Oh, my God.
Like stripes.
Ugly and multicolored.
Pointed.
Bent.
Banged up.
I actually think the two words used to describe it were bent and ugly.
Anyway, moving on.
But you didn't do this intentionally.
Or did you?
Did you really want to know?
No.
I don't know if I'd want to know.
It's not easy to hear a rumor about your own dick that's not flat.
No, I'd say not.
But I'd rather be ugly than small.
Well, are you ever talking to someone and they're dragging somebody else
and you just start to think, God, what does this person say about me?
You know? Oh, yeah. know oh yeah all the time if i'm with someone they're just dragging the fuck out of somebody i'm like
what do you say about me if this is how bad you've drugged this person because
they're not that bad god damn oh yeah no i know what you mean Tom you got enough rope there
Yeah I got enough rope
We like to keep him on
The essential truth of human nature
Is we all love to talk shit about each other
It's just in us
Oh dude
I don't fault
You know the people that I side eye
Are the people that won't
That won't chime in
In a little shit talk with you
People that always take the moral high road
Yeah yeah
When I used to drink,
it was like you were
sort of suspicious
about people that didn't drink.
But I'm also that way
about gossiping.
Like if somebody doesn't gossip,
I'm slightly suspicious.
Now that I'm sober,
I'm not suspicious
of those that don't drink.
I understand.
I understand.
Yeah, I get it.
So I guess maybe
in this situation,
I need to just stop gossiping
as well.
And just, you know.
Yeah.
No, that's never going to happen.
That's not going to happen.
That's my only advice.
Today a co-worker walked up to me and said, after learning something that they should have already known,
come up to me and said, I guess I'm out of the loop of your gossip.
Well, God damn.
I was offended.
That's. I'm out of a loop of your gossip meal.
How'd I miss that?
Well, that's the incredibly socially awkward way
of saying, like, please.
Tell me more.
Bring me more info.
Let me into your gossip circle.
No, she's been put out of the inner circle
for good, forever,
and she's ate up about it.
I like how recording this before and after
it's immediately we go right into gossip yeah like as soon as i'm flipping a switch
as soon as i walk well i open the door and terrence yells from the bathroom
hey man i'm in the bathroom And I stood there for a second thinking
why do I give a fuck? And I was like
with the door open? He said, yeah.
Alright man, I'll be on the porch.
But then as soon as I came in, we started gossiping
immediately.
Immediately.
Well, I don't see you all
other. This is our most intimate
moment. This is the most intimate moment. Yeah.
This is the only time I get to tell y'all anything.
Yeah.
Or get any gossip from you.
Please, Tanya.
We marched down the street in uniform and costume yesterday.
We're talking about we don't share anything.
Yeah, how was your Tuesday?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
We were dressed up with noisemakers.
We beat a drum and handed out treats to the kids.
Yeah, that was awesome.
Yesterday ruled.
I thought that was going to be awkward and weird, and I showed up anyway, and I had a great time.
I always think it's going to be awkward and weird, but you're such a big personality.
If you're involved, I can just kind of hide behind you.
You know what I mean?
Well, I would dispute that, but I did show up in leopard print fur of two different shades two different patterns of
leopard print it looks like Cruella de Vil with the kazoo I have a great photo of you from the
apple shop Christmas ball in December oh really wearing that leopard fur yeah that was that jacket
it was that one I kept calling you Tanya Soprano it's like I do look like a mom boss. It is. I do look like a mom boss. Like Tony Soprano, but Tony...
I gotcha, I gotcha.
I guarantee you, though, that Mardi Gras March Down Main Street was not even in the top five
weirdest or funniest things to march down Main Street.
No, not at all.
Like every Christmas, there's like a...
They'll do like a paper mache tank on the back of an F-250 or something
and have t-shirt guns that they'll just fire off.
Have our 78-year-old mayor pop out in full face paint.
Jesus Christ.
No, usually it's whatever happens in downtown during those lowrider truck shows.
Oh, yeah.
It's unspeakable things.
I remember summer.
Do y'all remember?
One, it was like the Sunday morning or something
after the big drag downtown they had done or whatever.
And there was marks all over the room.
Oh, God, there's marks all over.
But laying on the sidewalk altogether
was a bag of Doritos, a dirty diaper, and a needle.
Like a syringe.
All together, like still life.
Throw in a half-drink Mountain Dew.
It's just a complete cliche.
So I saw it, and I was like, oh, I'm getting a picture of this.
And I took a picture, and this girl walking across the street, and she was like, won't you take a picture?
And I was like, I did.
I did.
That's what I just did.
I just took a picture of the needle.
If she had been on my side of the road, she'd have probably tried to fight me, but I like
scurried along quickly because, you know.
Had to get one for the grandma.
Yeah, I was like, I took a picture and came by.
Had to do an irony post.
I'm going to tell you something.
We used to have this, those people are terrible, the lowrider people.
Oh, they're terrifying.
Horrible people.
That's why I didn't want to fight her.
You can't fight somebody who ain't got nothing to live for.
No.
I know better.
Nothing to live for but a fucking lowered S10 that just makes farts.
That's two inches off the ground.
It's like, oh, God.
And I'm, listen, if that's your hobby, whatever, you know, I like tennis.
You know.
Everybody's got their thing.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm a soft boy.
But there's two things I want to abide okay that's fucking back night and the fucking low right there here's the thing is for
a group of people that have that cosplay as quasi criminals fucking and like say that they just want
to live their life you know without outside the know, just without the man giving them any scuff.
They sure do just make everybody else's life suck really bad.
This is what I've realized.
They love rules.
They do love rules.
They love it because they would flip shit every time I would not move my truck.
Oh, yeah.
And they would put, they would just, like,
put these real passive-aggressive notes on them.
Like, you're a biker game.
Come fuck me up or something.
Oh, yeah.
I left my car down there one time, and I returned to a bunch of notes, and them looking at me
so fucking mean.
And when I...
It was during...
I think it was seed time.
One time that seed time was the same as bike night.
It was real bad.
And I walked down there drunk as a skunk to move my car.
I just had to move it to free parking.
And they were like, oh, that's your
car. Been down here
all weekend. You know, we need that
parking. We're having
a race out here. Yeah, like I drive a goddamn
Chevy Cruze.
Fairly compact vehicle.
Well, that's when I had my robe. It's like, if they were as badass
as they come off as being,
why don't they try to kick my ass or something?
Or put a brick through the window?
Well, there's a reason for that, Terrence.
You missed the part where I said cosplay is criminal.
These guys are all, like, Sons of Anarchy painted
a totally wrong picture of the biker gang scene.
Like, I know, like, six guys under the age of 50
that are in biker gangs.
You know what I mean?
Like they're all fucking like, you know, on statin therapy
and fucking lisinopril for their blood pressure and everything else.
And meanwhile, they used to work with this guy named Storm.
We called him Storm and Norman.
And you probably know this guy if you've seen him around.
If I pointed him out to you
probably seen him around but he would always he was like one of the earlier adopters of the
don't tread on me thing like where he was swarping down taxes were illegal and yeah
like that yeah and then he would make these like really thinly veiled threats when we'd be on a
job site together like not to anybody not to like the boss or anything.
He would just be like,
storms are coming,
ain't nothing they can do about it.
And he would just say stuff like that
in passing all the time.
He'd just walk by.
He'd be sitting over there,
you and a couple buddies just, you know,
eating your lunch or whatever,
taking a break,
and he'd say,
he'd say shit like, when it happens, they'll know.
That's serial killer shit.
We never could make heads or tails what he was talking about.
Storms are coming.
Then I asked him one day, I said, Norman, I said, so exactly what storm's coming?
He goes, let me put it to you this way.
He said, what would you do if you saw 60 of us riding these?
And he looked over at his hog.
A Honda.
It was a Honda.
Looked over at his Honda.
It was a Honda.
He said, and we're all rolling in single file.
He said, how do you think that makes them feel?
Talking about the boss or who's them?
Some abstract.
No, he's talking about the masses, the people.
Yeah.
Mainstream society.
The royal them.
Then I hold my hand to God.
He had a leather jacket on.
It's June.
I love that. He pulled. He had a leather jacket on. It's June. I love that.
He pulled his collar up a little bit.
He said, just watch for it.
So, I mean, he would just talk about, like, this.
You know, like, if you watch, like, the Tales from the Tour Bus with Johnny Paycheck,
how, like, he always had these, had these fantasies of the Hells Angels
bailing him out of these pickles.
Yeah.
Norman had these delusions of grandeur
about just a mass movement of bikers coming in
to take over Eastern Kentucky.
Just the floor.
We're all sitting here in Whitesburg,
minding our own business, podcasting,
playing the banjo or whatever,
and just in the distance you hear
a rumbling.
Then it gradually gets bigger and bigger
and bigger.
Oh no! The seventh sun!
This is a sexy
thing of all the
stories we used to hear from Joe
Bug. Remember when he'd
disappear for six weeks or something, then when he
come back he'd be like, all of them are out with Hells Angels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, what?
Hells Angels ain't even in Kentucky.
He's been with the biker gang for too long.
His stories were way more interesting and fascinating than
actual Hells Angels stories.
The actual bikers that come in
for bike night. Those are the meanest.
They're so unfriendly. They're not even mean.'re like catty yeah it's like they almost we we were trying
to like get them to cancel bike night because they don't even spend their money in the local
businesses it's like don't not even like there's like just no generic benefit to them yeah like
they like they've got their saddlebags full of fucking beasts, you know? They're not even...
Fucking buy any sausages and potted meat.
One time they did try to ban it,
and that was like the most...
I live in a Western days of my life,
because just a little...
Out East.
Yeah, yeah, out East.
It was funny. They tried to ban them them downtown and then they came downtown anyways and we were and they walked around hell no i say don't tread on me
well in that day me and tom i don't know if you remember this or not we were hanging out with ty
so we were hanging out with the police we were hanging out with law these two are cops i've been meaning to
break it that's how big of uh posers we are we've got we've got connections in the local law what
he's referred to is that and i have a hard time with this but the guy that's like my brother that
literally my mom was his legal guardian for a number of years as the chief of police here
well and so there i said it god damn it we could list uh ty's attributes as a cool guy
he's a cop through and through he called me one day he said he said a cab-Cab. I said, yeah, A-Cab.
He goes, what do you think about this all-cops-are-bastards stuff?
And it just devolved into me just begging him to get out of policing.
Like, just do any other fucking thing.
Well, where I was going with that story is that the cyclists came down into town,
and they were not supposed to.
The motorcyclists.
Yeah, the motorcyclists.
These are not cyclists.
Although we have a thriving cyclist scene here, too.
We do, right.
And we were with Ty, and we had been drinking all day.
This was on a Saturday, and we had many, many beers.
And I just have this hilarious image of him in my mind putting on the
belt and walking down those stairs
at the apartment to go meet the motorcyclist
in the road and tell them
that they had to get off and it was a showdown
and everybody was like looking out their windows
there was a wind blowing there was a wind
gust going through town
we just poked our head out the window
to see it
Ennio Morricone cues up over the loudspeakers.
Wow, wow, wow.
And then I think Storm and Norman's wife who organized the bike night.
Also, the first clue that these are not real outlaw bikers is they coordinate with the police.
Exactly.
In a real outlaw organization, organization that would get you killed they love
rules they really would like they would they knew you're talking please they'd fucking kill you
coming from the man who just admitted right that's that's family that's a whole complicated issue
also i'll tell you this too i mean i just while we're getting this out i you know i used to be
the police commissioner in weinsperire when I was on the council.
What the fuck does that even mean?
Really?
They just give you like a.
He's never told us this.
This is the first time.
They just give you.
Tom's a cop.
Well, the funniest thing about living in a small town is that like those layers that you have in society between you and all these other individuals and sectors
of society, whatever, they're just so
interwoven.
And it's like
you can't just stop
being family with somebody the minute
they become a cop.
But for the most part,
I don't want that to be taken out of context.
I mean, fuck all cops.
But I guess what I'm saying is that
we'll add this in time.
This was also like 2014.
It's like 2013.
So we weren't as woke.
We were still liberals.
But anyway, I'll tell you this.
Well, I'll tell you this.
That's a lot of good information.
Well, I'll tell you this, though.
I'll tell you this, though.
Even when I was a liberal,
Ty raised hell when the mayor wanted to make me the police commissioner
he said he's anti-police why he said why are we gonna have him and the only thing i did
the only thing i did before they switched me off that detail was uh you know i made it to where
you can't pull anybody over here you don't want to be a speed trap town you know what i mean right
right i mean like fucking y'all don't go to be a speed trap town. You know what I mean? Right, right.
I mean, like, fucking,
don't go through Wattsboro.
You're going to get slapped with a ticket if you...
Yeah.
Man, I've been looking through,
you know, I spend most of my days
at the library looking through old microfilm,
but there's, every week,
there's an article, Jenkins speed trap,
Whitesburg speed trap,
Neon speed trap,
back in the days when people
actually drove through Neon.
Yeah, I'm like the
speed limit in all of neon is 25 i'm just like locking people away for driving 38 miles an hour
right but it's funny that they they wrote about that in the paper back then in the 70s
like oh don't go through hazard that's a speed trip that's crazy avoid it all together right what i love is the the moments when uh
back night ruined some type of uh wholesome non-profit activity like one time i had to
help organize a kfdc annual uh or steering committee meeting here and i was like sending
out emails telling i'm like what are we doing i was like I got some bad news it's bike night so there's gonna be a lot of people downtown
and they definitely thought it was bicycle night oh really oh that's awesome we have those in the
city so the chair responds and she's like oh I'll just throw my bike in the back of the truck
you should have been like yeah yeah go ahead and bring it out.
Come on down, man.
Come on down.
She rolls up and she hears George Thorogood and the Destroyers playing over the loudspeakers.
She's like, oh, that's great.
I would have thought Mossberg would have a bike, not.
One of the weird mysteries about cops, before we get too far away from that, is how they try to emulate outlaws.
And always have.
You know what I mean?
Even the Wild West days and shit.
Yeah.
They've adopted all the aesthetics and the tough guy bullshit about...
Well, to them, against the world, man.
I mean, they've got that mentality.
It's like this cop that just lives over here by me.
Every time I walk by his house, every other person on that street
is so nice and friendly to me.
The guy who sells inflatable,
wacky arm tube guys, whatever.
Hey, Mick, I speak in which Mick is a seventh son.
He's in the motorcycle gang.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, he's a real nice guy to me.
Everybody on that street is real nice to me.
Except the cops.
The cops that live there are such fucking assholes.
And they don't talk to anybody.
And they've got this really weird fascist
family dynamic where it's just like
the sort of buzz cut younger son
just plays around and his dad just stands
around in the yard with his gun on his fucking
holster. Yeah. What the fuck
is this shit? It's like you have your...
Their vision of America is...
That is fucking weird. Dude, it's dark as shit.
He just stands there with his fucking gun. They want shit to pop off.
They want shit to pop off. They want shit to pop off.
They're cowboys.
They're living out cowboy fantasy.
But they really don't want shit to pop off.
They know that it's a low likelihood shit's going to pop off,
so they can stand there and grandstand with their guns.
But if there was real motherfuckers out here doing shit,
they don't want any piece of that.
No.
They sure ain't going to chase no damn body, I'll tell you that. They don't want any piece of that. No. They sure ain't gonna chase no damn party,
I'll tell you that.
Ain't nobody breaking a sweat in here.
No.
No.
Now, there are, like,
bona fide antisocial people, like,
that, you know, do wild shit here.
I'm not saying that,
but I'm just saying they're not super organized.
They've went crazy in Harlan County.
They have, like, six checkpoints
that they set up almost every day.
It's a job.
To drive in checkpoints.
Well, it's just like me and Terrence were talking.
I guess it's probably about this time last year.
When I would go over to Hazard to swim laps, they would do the POPs testing,
which is like the police physical fitness test over there.
Usually for a POP session session you might have like a
handful of guys that like city agencies are going to send to the academy that place was chock full
they had like almost 50 i think in there and it's really sinister when you consider how well known
the hazard police department is for beating the fuck out of people oh hazard is fucking terrible i mean they're letting people die in their jail yeah they just beat the fuck out of people. Alhazard is fucking terrible.
I mean, they're letting people die in their jail.
Yeah, they just beat the shit out of people over there.
But, and the thing is,
I think where we're going with that episode
is that a lot of,
you know, as
these areas de-industrialize,
like, some of the
sort of most stable jobs are
cop positions. Because those jobs are cop positions.
Because those jobs are always going to be there.
I mean, well, in the society that we live in now.
It's like you say, though.
It's another one of those masculine type jobs.
Exactly.
It has this sort of nobility attached to it.
Valor.
A low barrier to entry.
Absolutely.
Incredible amount of authority.
Yeah.
Like it is just like tailor made for like the most mediocre people to like get some standing in their community by doing that.
Right.
Same thing with fucking military.
Right.
The kids I used to buy weed off of in high school are now the city cops where I'm from.
Yeah.
In Pineville.
Totally.
cops where i'm from yeah in pineville totally i couldn't believe it when i went when i like it was like maybe five years ago when i was in for like the county festival yeah i double took
and i was like is that is that motherfucking and my sister's like yeah dude he's fucking caught now
yeah it's weird like oh yeah i literally bought my weed off that dumbass. Yeah. Yeah.
And now he's the type of guy that if he caught somebody with a nug.
Yeah.
He'd be all over Facebook.
Look what we confiscated.
$6 in cash.
A nug.
Keeping the streets safe.
God.
I love the flex of what they've drug out of some trailer, you know?
And the funniest shit.
they've drug out of some trailer, you know?
And the funniest shit, the funniest shit is all of them are blissfully unaware of
not only how much contempt we all have for them,
but also how much we find them pathetic and hilarious.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, just complete, like, comedic figures.
What's crazy, you know, last week I went to,
back to EKU, where I graduated from.
It was like my 10-year anniversary of graduating college.
And I have not been on that campus for any amount of time since then.
And so I was back there, and they've built like six new buildings since then or something.
And it's all because of their police academy.
It's all their police program.
They've cut like all kinds of programs over there to build up their police academy holy like the not their criminal justice program yeah like they're
like actual police like where they send people to get trained to be cops well also the criminal
justice program yeah which there i guess there's ways you could do that without being like there
are they have they i found i like i didn't know this but where they've like part of them building
up this criminal justice department is they have a social justice degree or something now.
Well, Judah, who's been on the show before.
Yeah, Judah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Judah's part of that.
Well, one of my favorite professors from college, we had lunch with him.
He has moved.
He taught criminology in the sociology department and social deviance and stuff.
Really weird, cool guy. But he has now switched to the criminal justice department
because it's actually growing
while the sociology department is defunded and shrinking.
So he teaches like criminal theory over there.
That's insane.
That's crazy.
Wild, wild.
Speaking of Judah, him and friend of the show Jack Norton
have an article out this week Speaking of Judah Him and friend of the show Jack Norton Have a article
Out this week
About Kentucky
Jails and about how
Basically we pointed it out
Before I think we retracted that
But right like the current
Incarceration rate in Kentucky
Yeah
In a hundred years every
Man woman child and person Of any gender will be in prison
that's what jack told me the author of this this piece he said in a hundred years if if
incarceration rates continue on at the rates that they're at now in kentucky in a hundred years
every single person in kentucky will be in prison for kentucky for kentucky like just put a fence
around the motherfucker as as now correct fence around the motherfuckers as a
now correct me if I'm wrong
but as a
stand alone country
doesn't Kentucky
have like the
7th or 8th highest
incarceration rate
in the world
like if it were
a stand alone country
that's the stats
that I've been repeating
for years now
but yeah
like we're like
number 7
it's the 7th
most incarcerated
country
the fucking
the greatest trick the conservatives have pulled,
and they've pulled some real motherfuckers.
Convincing us they don't exist.
Yeah.
They, it's like, well, it's convincing that their whole criminal justice reform thing
is actually, that it actually does something or that it actually means something.
You know, like Bevan and the Koch brothers and Rand Paul and all these people
have been talking about how, you know,
you've got to decarcerate and all these things.
And it's like, okay, you've been talking about this
for years now, and, you know,
the initiatives that you say are supposed to do this,
I'm not really seeing any evidence of it.
It just looks like you're building up
the police state more and more,
and it's sort of like cultural institutions
and educational institutions and stuff.
That's insane to me. That is heartbreaking to see, though. more and it's sort of like cultural institutions and educational institutions and stuff that's
insane to me it's just that is heartbreaking to see though and i mean in so many ways but just
like we were talking about with ty like my relationship with him is never going to be the
same right and it's hard to like square that you know more and more it's like you love somebody but your worldview just yeah a lot yeah it's not easy
well and how do you mentally come back from being a cop the only way i my keyhole into this is
friends becoming uh corrections officers in a fucking institution yeah they don't recover from
it well yeah and and it verifies those it verifies that worldview if you're a cop.
If you spend all day just keeping drugs off the street
and basically beating people up, chasing them down,
throwing them in jail and stuff like that,
it's going to verify this worldview that the world is just this cesspool
that needs to be entirely policed.
They have the same relationship
with petty criminality
that we do with content.
We're just, you know,
constantly, you know,
just trying to find the next hit.
Right.
I have a friend who is
working
She's a friend's sister.
Working at a maximum security
prison in southeast Ohio
and everything
she tells me is so
truly sick
that I can't
even fathom her reality.
I'm like you understand that they're being held
there captive and you are choosing
to show up there every day
voluntarily. I know you're getting paid but you are choosing to show up there every day voluntarily.
Like, I know you're getting paid, but
you are going there
to serve
jail time
with this, like, what's wrong with you?
Anyway, the whole fucking setup
is so bizarre, but the
place where she works, in
2017, 11 officers committed suicide.
Yeah. In one year? in one year in one year
this is why the this is why and i'm pointing this out speaking of jack this is why the best
fucking tv show right now well it's finished but is that escape at danamore danamora tv show
about that prison break and yeah the ben stiller thing yeah it's just the reason why is just because
like it shows that like the towns the
surrounding communities that prisons are in are deeply interwoven into the lives and the inner
the inner workings of a prison and in a lot of cases the whole point of prison is to turn out
some sort of product uh commodity with basically slave labor And so you get these dynamics that start to get reproduced
that you would see in a historical fiction movie or something
from slavery, from the 19th century, from the 17th century.
And it's just really crazy.
We don't really think of it that way.
We really literally still have slave plantations in the United States.
They still function
exactly like that.
And we have real slave plantations
still.
And we still actually have them.
You're exactly right.
I don't know.
But I don't know. I think that if we elect
enough people like AOC,
I think that'll...
That's a good segue.
That's a good segue. That's a good segue That's a good segue
That's a good segue into what I want to talk about next
Because of
The Ileana Omar
West Virginia Statehouse thing
Speak on it, sis
I was just thinking, well first of all
Did y'all see the AOC tweet that she came out
Just a couple hours ago
I saw you retweet it, yeah
About her chatting the
left for being uh you know we're finger waggers again yeah for our finger wagging and our inability
to to work in less than perfect circumstances madam president
we've been working in imperfect circumstances for goddamn forever we came out the fucking memo
you know what embryo into imperfect what i'm starting to think about this ilan um
ilion omar stuff is i'm really starting to think about i'm really starting to think that
it actually buckle up this smells like a terrence ray conspiracy oh yeah We tried to go down this President Omar situation a few, back at our
Valentine's Day
session.
If you're actually trying to pour
energy into
electoral strategies,
electoral work,
getting electoral wins, if that's
what your priority is,
I think it makes more sense to
try to get
politicians like Ilyan Omar what your priority is. I think it makes more sense to try to get, you know,
politicians like Ilyan Omar or like a Paul Wellstone
or something like that,
somebody who is incredibly critical of empire,
more so than what Bernie and AOC are more known for.
Kind of being, like, holding their line,
but kind of being conciliatory in too many ways.
Yeah, it feels to me that, like,
whatever they do in Congress
or whatever Bernie could do as a president,
it's just like, the American
economy is necessary to maintaining
the American empire. And
you could get a situation where
you have politicians like
Bernie and AOC whose, their sort of
thing is more economic populism.
At some point, that reality
is going to run into the nature of empire
this is why bernie is conservative on immigration you know right and so it's just like i think that
if you're trying to get these people elected in these positions i think it serves it could serve
a more towards a more useful end to try to get you know people that are elected they're more
critical of empire that they're more critical of our foreign policy and stuff like that.
I don't know.
I, honest to God,
need a
refresher on
the
strategy of electoral politics
at this point. Like, I feel so
jaded, mostly because of you two,
and so alienated
from the process. Again, mostly because of you two. And so alienated from the process.
Again, mostly because of you two.
Mostly because of you two.
There are like women I admire who are still running candidates that I need to have dinner with.
To just like understand where they're coming from.
I mean, the woman who ran
uh stacy abrams campaign is like a leftist that i admire she's incredible and i don't understand
like i i want to know more about what is in her head you know what i mean like what her where
she's coming from at this point because i'm so far off that path at this point i don't know how
to get back i'm gonna. I want to say something.
And when I say this, I'm not, this is not, this is going to sound because I'm piggybacking off what you said.
It's like I'm making an accusation about this person you're talking about, and I'm really not.
This is just a thought I have.
But I think a lot of the time, why, and I may be way off base in this.
This is just going off the top, baby.
It must be pretty bad.
I think a lot of times, I think a lot of times,
I think this, there's an inherent racism almost
in running a more cavalier campaign with a guy like Bernie
versus a conservative campaign of somebody like a Stacey Abrams or
Barack Obama or somebody like that.
Like when what we really should be doing
is just going for broke with somebody with
some fucking integrity like Ileana Omar
if we insist in working in.
I think that's kind of what I was getting at
a minute ago.
Yeah. And I know there's a whole
convoluted thing I have no business speaking
on in terms of like candidates of color and the different kinds of shit they're going to run into.
I mean, I understand Barack Obama was working under great constraints.
Doesn't excuse having a Wall Street presidency, a drone presidency.
But I understand probably that instinct to pull back.
Yeah. What do you think his biggest regrets are now? pull back. Yeah.
What do you think
his biggest regrets are now?
Obama's?
Yeah.
Banning clove cigarettes
because he wants
to smoke them now.
Now he's not president
and he's like, fuck.
He banned clove cigarettes.
I wish I wouldn't have done that.
Cash for clunkers.
He goes to the gas station.
I'd like a pack of clove.
Oh, man.
I have to remember his station.
Shouldn't have done that one.
Sir, you're the one that banned him.
You're right.
I think that, I guess what I was, the point I was trying to make is that there's nothing
you can do in Congress anyways.
And it's kind of like what we were talking about last week.
Like, you've got sort of principles and you've got the need to sort of, on one hand, and
the need to be pragmatic and maybe compromising on the other hand.
It's like, you can't do shit anyways in office.
It's like at least get some principled people in there.
Exactly right.
Who can at least chip away at this dynamic of, yeah, empire and those sort of identity
of, you know, this country, what it's built on.
And anybody that would say like, you you know say the quiet part out loud
thinking oh well we couldn't run iliana omar because she's muslim because she's black because
she's an immigrant uh have you seen when she's been people motherfuckers are throwing her money
she ain't running for nothing right so don't tell me she couldn't run for shit and win yeah
well it's um well even the woman that i'm talking about who ran stacy's
campaign tweeted like the other day that she was like this is just more proof that the party system
is over and so like she she's like i just i just i i am too far removed to understand the leftist developed electoral strategy.
Hey, we don't know either.
There is one, and I don't.
We pop off.
I am not privy.
We just pop off.
Yeah, I'm not privy.
We just pop off, sis.
Yeah, there's something, and I don't get it.
We're just throwing paint trying to get a picture.
I will say this, though.
This is something that Terrence kind of talked about yesterday.
At a certain point, there was some energy around the Bernie wing of the party,
the AOC types and whatever.
Like, do they have enough clout?
Do they have enough, you know, fundraising ability just to spin off
and start their own viable third party?
Like, to me, I mean, well, it's Bernie, like, raised a couple million dollars in a day like two to one
over anybody else like the nearest competitor i think maybe three to one four to one i don't know
just fucking dusting them do they even need the democratic party infrastructure at this point and
how do they justify that yeah it's like if the if i i mean it seems to me if the democratic
infrastructure was useful we would have hill Hillary as a president right now.
You know what I mean?
Like the proof's in the motherfucking pudding at this point.
But Terrence and I were talking about this before we started recording, before you got here,
talking about different liberal slash leftist publications and how they brand themselves.
It's like, well, they've been like historically liberal and they're trying to rebrand themselves as leftists.
And it's like, why?
Just keep saying you're the liberal whatever.
Keep on that train.
But act better.
Just move the politic.
Why rebrand?
What's the rebranding for?
I mean, that's essentially what the Tea Party did.
They just...
They're like, we're conservatives now.
And now the entire Republican Party are Tea Parties.
You know what I mean?
It's like, why bother?
Just start acting the way that all Democrats should act.
Yeah.
No, no, I'm with you there.
It's like, like, like anytime I have a liberal friend, like, come at me with that whole sort of like, well, what's the difference between me and you and all this kind of stuff?
whole sort of like well what's the difference between me and you and all this kind of stuff and it's just like i think you know what a socialist would say is that one is scared of
poor people and one is scared of rich people well i mean i'm not saying i'm not saying there aren't
that's actually a perfect description of liberals are scared of poor people and i am scared of rich people well
that's that's the other thing too is that like you know i think the leftist response would be
something like well we're trying to make you live up to what you say you are you know what i'm saying
for me it's um it's an entire upheaval of the social fabric of this country because we got
slave plantations so you know what i mean it's like not even it's basically the difference is that i would like
some sort of armed insurrection where we you know hold people at gunpoint
it's the difference that's what i would like i might sit just because i'm drama
yeah high drama it's the difference in talking about what you want and
and what you'll settle for well they don't believe what they don't believe in their ideals though
like every limp dick like tweeting that fucking liberalism gave you this and liberalism gave you
that and whatever you know like the 19 things it's like but like i see how you live your life i see how like you know what i mean like
it's yeah yeah um earlier when i was saying that it's not like an either or thing like you can only
have iliana omar type politicians or you can only have bernie type politicians we're gonna have no
no no they can work together we could work we could have none of them. They can work together. We could have none of them.
You're right.
But I guess what I'm concerned with going into the next year,
and there's undertones of this in the sort of Ileana Mar stuff because Bernie hasn't been vocal about what's going on here.
AOC has, and she's just making a total ass out of herself.
Just fucking, just like, just relax for a minute.
Just calm the fuck down. Yeah. Yeah, breathe. breathe at this point she doesn't have to say shit yeah she is like or she could just be like i support her i support what she says here's what aoc is scared to fucking
death somebody's gonna call her an anti-semite if she comes to bat for a friend absolutely so
she's just dancing around this idea and it's like you're being afraid of being called an anti-Semite?
Actually kind of shows some tones
of anti-Semitism in yourself.
Well, if you infantilize a group of people
and walk on eggshells,
like all that,
that in itself is a form of racism.
Again, it's what we said the last time.
This should not be hard, though.
It should not be hard
to counter the right wing's talking points.
This isn't even about anti-Semitism.
It has nothing to do with it.
It has nothing to do with anti-Semitism.
This is about empire.
This is about the fact that we have a colony in the Middle East
that just completely raises the ground on a day-to-day basis,
just snipes people.
An apartheid ethnostate.
An apartheid ethnostate.
But it's doing exactly what they want
literally today i saw an i support israel sticker on a car oh my god today and i was i stopped and
looked at it was just like what the fuck like at the post office i've never seen anything like that
you know this is the like i stand with israel and i was just like oh god this is the ironic thing
about the sort of steve king stuff is that like Ilyana Marzenek is the left Steve King.
It's like Steve King is an avowed pro-Confederate guy.
He gives interviews to Nazi magazines.
And you can't find a modern state more analogous to the Confederacy than Israel.
No.
It's a fucking, they're both ethnostates.
Right.
It's just like, how could, I donates. Right. Just like, how could,
I don't know,
it's just,
how do you make that deduction?
I don't know.
I saw something the other day
and I don't know if this was like
old or fake or whatever.
See that Netanyahu's
gotten dotted?
Is this,
is this a real thing?
Yeah.
I don't know if he's
gonna be around much longer
from what I hear.
Gonna be around?
Terrence says,
I don't know if he's
gonna be around much longer. I don't know if he's gonna be
around i'm like i'm like your friend norman i'm like a storm's gonna come a storm a storm's coming
it's blowing in from the east from tel aviv oh my god no i i i haven't read the stories behind it
but but yeah no i mean I think like I thought that the
Democrats were going to do something like make some sort of
pass some sort of resolution today
and then they said they're going to move it back to tomorrow
he was getting moved back
but why don't they just cancel it
move the fuck on
I know
what are we
what the fuck are we doing
you may take the disgusting thing here's the disgusting thing I know. What are we doing? What the fuck are we doing?
Well, you may take the disgusting thing.
Here's the disgusting thing.
Here's why I think that strategy's working.
I don't think it's working for a lot of the reasons that leftists like in Corey Robin people are pointing out.
I think the reason the whole they're kind of getting softer on Ileana as the day goes is because they want to see if she's a viable source
of fundraising.
You're probably right.
They don't want to throw her
under the bus
if they can raise money
because these fucking dipshits
have been in the red
since fucking Hillary 2016.
They literally have.
You're actually,
that is a very smart
and just completely...
Christ almighty.
Yeah.
Cynical way to look at it
and you're absolutely right truly she is
making money she is raising money and you know they love that yes queen bullshit so like if they
think that like they can like polish her image into like it depends man it really depends because
um in the calculation there i don't know i don't know i don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
We're talking about a mainstay of American foreign policy for 60, 70 years now.
This is the linchpin to our entire strategy on one part of the globe.
Yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
I would be more, I would be, I think they're getting ready to fucking hang around.
Oh, that that's smart money
is on the slaughter smart money's on that what i'm just saying is they like oh my god she's had
a hundred million raised a hundred million dollars poured in for support oh we love ilia well so that
that gets back to your original question they're like why don't they just start up their own party
like bernie's making all this money ilian om's making. Like they're the only game in town that can raise any goddamn money.
It's like you, Tanya.
Why do you continue to stay on this podcast when you can go solo and make so much more money?
That's not true.
I wish that were true.
But I mean it's, I mean it's, now would be the time.
And like the shit trying to bring bernie to heel with like making
him sign like oh i'm i am a member of the democratic party and all that bullshit
fuck all that shit they should just start they should start a new party like say they're starting
a new party but just call it the democratic party what are you do you think they like if you're so
wet to the goddamn name just call it that be like be the one guado of the democrats no we're
actually the democrats yeah i don't understand just just just dupe them at their own bullshit
and just be like no this is how the party is like you know if you're a republican okay okay you can
be a republican that's fine yeah this is make no mistake nancy pelosi chuck sherman all them
are republican yes that's what I'm saying.
And wasn't that California, what's her name?
Feinstein?
Dianne Feinstein, yeah.
Is she a Democrat?
She's a Democrat, yeah.
She is a California Democrat.
A super wealthy 87-year-old California Democrat.
It's like, what the fuck is going on here?
Fuck them kids.
This is what i'm saying it's like i used to make the joke
that um kentucky democrats were california republicans you know like when i had to work
in the legislature to try to explain to people what we're dealing with that you had to take it
there to get them okay uh not that anyone understands anything about california oh let's put a pin in that i was at uh one of our newer uh grocery stores recently
using like my my reusable ebt car my reusable no my reusable uh fucking grocery bag you know
my little cloth grocery bags hold on a second hold on a second you went you went to sell for less with reusable grocery bags price price yeah i fucking love that shit
i fucking love that you're shopping at the fucking budget grocery store for use
that is perfectly on brand i love that shit
and so i take well this is what happens i take my reusable bags in there
and i set them up and the guy they're sitting right there and then he just starts putting
stuff in the plastic bag and i'm and i'm like talking to the woman behind me before i realize
and i look and he had folded up the the reusable bag and put it in my plastic bag and i pulled it
out i was like no man this is for my groceries we're gonna put these in his
bag and he was like what he'd never seen that he had never seen a reusable grocery bag and he told
me so he started doing it then he said you know I didn't know we could do that and I said what do
you mean could do what and he was like I didn't know he said I've never seen a bag like this I
said what you've never seen a bag cloth bag I don't I don't know I don said, I've never seen a bag like this. I said, you've never seen a cloth bag?
I don't know.
I'm not following you here.
I mean, one of them says MCHC on it.
You know, it's like some freebie I've got somewhere.
He said, yeah, I've never seen that.
I said, I just looked at him and said, do you know that plastic bags are illegal in California?
And I swear, he stopped swapping.
Tanya going,
let me speak to the manager.
I couldn't believe it.
Oh my God.
I said, you know,
plastic bags are illegal in California.
And he said, what?
Could not compute.
I said, they are.
Next thing Tanya said was,
I need you to know that Schumer and Pelosi get a kickback for every illegal that comes through here.
And then he would have been like,
I knew that shit.
Anyway, I tried to save myself from sounding like such a dumbass
by saying, yeah, my mom couldn't survive in Cali.
The plastic lobby is a lot stronger than people think it is.
No, it's...
Remember plastics make it possible?
You remember when we were doing bat netting and that fucking lunatic woman that ran the
project was like, yeah, all these liberals think they can live without plastic, but they
don't understand what all was made out of plastic.
It's petroleum.
It's true.
I mean, when I went into a grocery store in California, I was shocked.
They were like, no.
What do they have?
They really don't have plastic bags.
Do they have paper bags?
Yeah, well, you have to, in every grocery store, you have to bring reusable bags or
you have to buy their bags.
It's so funny, I've got a massive drawer in my kitchen just stuffed fucking full of
plastic bags.
Well, I use them to pick up dog shit with.
Yeah, I mean, I have, it's just, I don't need more because I have so many.
I have so many plastic bags because I save them for shit.
I throw away a lot of them.
I put kitty litter in them.
I double bag the kitty litter so I can't deal with the smell of kitty litter.
I'm so fucking, oh, God.
Wow.
Anyway, sorry to diverge us into just my discount grocery store dilemmas.
I feel like he was trying to make me feel like an asshole.
Good on you, buddy.
The whole point here was about...
You made him feel like an asshole for folding up the thing
and putting it in there.
It's so funny.
When I go to Sierra Club
stuff, I always get so embarrassed when
one of the waitresses brings
out straws and they
just act so indignant about it.
And then I sit here getting ready to put my straws.
And then I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm like chewing on three.
Even when I go out with you two,
you're all like, no ice.
Yeah, I never do that.
That's esophagism.
That's because we have heartburn problems.
If you get it too cold,
it's just as bad as just bad as eating
in some ways some ways it's even worse oh my god yeah anyway we're talking about feinstein like
how is it california democrat which i was raised to think was the furthest left you could get
turns out california's pretty conservative not only will she not support the Green New Deal, but she's cussing children about it.
Get off my lawn about it.
Yeah, it's bad enough not to support the legislation, but to rail children about it.
Yeah, you listen to your little shits.
I'll be dead in three years.
Y'all be living on this rock.
Why don't you run for something?
You made a really good point on Twitter, though.
living on this rock why don't you run for something you've made a really good point on twitter though about you you were like to the people that were like you know it's cynical to
use kids or something like that it's like well kids like kids don't consent to death
people treat kids like shit if you i mean if you really start to pay attention to this
people treat how someone treats not only their kids but other kids around them like don't acknowledge them
do not say hello do not make eye contact speak to them in as few words as possible like just no
and yes you know what i mean like it's crazy like it is wild because kids are humans and they learn
based on other like we are all learning based on their it's also wild how that shit
follows you into adulthood
yes and the difference in how
we raise boys and girls oh it's fucked you all
and it comes out in the wash
always in these sex
eds it always ends up
like I mean I can't imagine the life
of a therapist and it has
to be a therapist must be working from a
map and the map no matter what is going on she can or whoever the therapist can bring i prefer a female
therapist myself but whoever they are can map it all the way back to probably interactions with
adults as a child yeah absolutely we are fucking them over big time. Like we treat kids like not like humans.
Yeah.
Like we treat animals better sometimes.
Yeah.
Like I've seen Pomeranians treated better in the same household as six year olds.
Oh, no question about it.
Absolutely.
No question about it.
It is strange.
And I mean, I do sometimes when I see, you know, when you see kids getting baptized real
young, I do often be like, oh God, you know, the, what the fuck?
But.
You shouldn't be able to like introduce a kid to a religion until you're like, they're
18.
Right.
Let them make their own choices.
But this is a different thing.
Like, this is, we're talking about something that like, we're talking about survival.
We're talking about, yeah, we're talking about potential extinction.
We're talking about survival. We're talking about potential extinction. We're talking about, like, their literal life.
I mean, you were taught that this was about your next life.
Religion is about saving your next life.
You know what I mean?
No, that's very true.
We're trying to be like, save the life you have right now, baby.
That's what's up for grabs right now.
The life you got right now, it ain't looking so motherfucking hot.
It's not looking so great.
Yeah.
And so, but it's deranged.
It's freaky how we treat kids.
And, you know, not even kids, teenagers who are firing on us with as,
definitely firing with as many lights as us, you know, as teenagers.
I've burned out so many sales and to teenagers are treated
like garbage because they can't vote they can't work full-time they have nothing to offer humanity
you're right according to the the fucking you know the business class the fucking whoever if
they had their draithers i would say they'd put them to work at seven though yeah it's like that's true that is true it's fucked up yeah yeah um well so but
yeah back to that question of uh i mean i guess that like i guess that people like bernie on the
more sort of progressive wing like they sort of that's, I guess that has to be a sort of very, you know, well-studied calculation, like a very, you know, thoroughly researched calculation, like splitting off and getting a third party.
Like that would be, I don't know.
You can't, I mean, we just keep saying the same shit over and over, it's like we're talking about two parties who
haven't even figured out how to abolish the electoral college you know what i mean it's
like the bare minimum of right it's just so archaic all of it's so archaic it's so artificial
every aspect of it um yeah i don't know well i what i wanted to get to that
what i wanted to talk about too for when we kind of got off on a different yarn was the
iliana mar poster in the west virginia state house oh yeah i i didn't yeah i need you to
catch me up on this let me just ask the. Was it that same fucking orc that proposed that?
That is the goddamn ugliest man alive.
I don't think it was him.
I mean, I'm sure he didn't hate it.
What it was was a group that had set up there.
I can't even remember the name of the group now.
There was some sort of fair or something
in the rotunda.
And there was things set up.
Tables and booths set up.
It's a job fair.
It's a little book fair.
That was the poster behind the Marines
fucking table.
That was the Marine recruiting table.
Exactly.
Honestly, that is... is i mean that's
basically what they believe in too it's basically what they're selling you just yeah flashy let me
look it up real quick tom because it's a it's not it wasn't one i don't remember it being one of the
politicians what happened i just remembered a split of that and then the orc it wasn't a
legislator it was like some group whatever did it and this
democrat um uh this is this you're getting the trailbilly version which means we're just
recounting from our memory of the essay that we read very shoddy memory a democrat walked in
and saw it and was like what the fuck is this like this is this is, you can't do this. Basically, you know, sort of made a fuss about it,
which, good on him.
That's awesome.
And then, like, some Republicans came out.
There was this, I think there was, like,
a physical altercation.
There was, like, an actual scuffle or something.
People shoving each other, something like that.
But the discourse is so fucking depraved.
It's so depraved that even, like, the ones that were sticking up for Omar were basically, like, they were basically, like, you know, I just remember them, I just remember thinking, like, they were sort of, they had a very liberal sort of approach to it.
Just, like, a very, like, Israel is an important ally, but Omar should be able to say whatever she wants to.
It's just like, oh my god,
man. It just
makes you, I don't know, it just drives you
crazy. One time for the people in the
back, being critical of Israel
is not anti-Semitic.
No.
Not at all. And you, I don't even,
it seems weird to even,
redundant to even say that.
What, didn't we determine she didn't even really say anything to begin with?
She has said nothing wrong this whole fucking time.
No, yeah, I can't even.
No, she's definitely not saying anything wrong, but even with this.
But even like, even like AOC just kind of like spikes those little
Israel's an important ally bromides in there.
Not that explicitly.
AOC's thing is that she keeps saying
that you can't speak out on this
unless you're of the Jewish identity,
of the Jewish community.
It's like, motherfucker, that's not the point.
The point is empire.
The point is how we run this goddamn country
on the fucking blood and pulp
of other Arabs in the Middle East.
Why we let the saudis the said the
saudi government's the largest state sponsor of terrorism in the world and we let them slide but
we fucking brutally oppress every other muslim exactly that's the issue yeah it hasn't got shit
to do with that you know your individual role and communities in this country it has to do with the
fact that the economy of this country is run on a just blood
machine just a gristmill yeah and not for nothing you're representative of that gristmill yeah and
that's why what omar is doing is is incredible it's just that like you're actually calling it
out for what it does for its function yeah that's fucking incredible yeah which is pretty sad that just
naming facts here the bar is so low the bar is so fucking low there was like a congressman who
who had a tweet that was like questioning the american israel relationship alliance that
vargas dude texas is on you know this is not he said something it's unacceptable
yeah and then he like his second tweet somebody said like
buddy you said in the quiet part out loud with that one yeah you know it's because that he's
saying the truth you're not supposed to question that no and that's why and the good thing is is
she's just resolute in it well and look look they're not censoring oh bernie for the things
he's saying about the economy and they're not cens censoring AOC for the things that she's saying about the environment and Green New Deal.
And it's because this country is run on empire.
The one thing you cannot fuck with is the empire because that holds up the economy.
That props up the economy.
That's exactly right.
If Bernie or AOC—
Yeah, you can have social democracy and a Green New Deal and an empire.
But guess what?
At a certain point, it's going to run up against the empire.
Exactly.
Don't come for the fucking crown.
Exactly.
That's the thing.
You can have a social democracy, welfare state, and all this thing and still repress brutally
the entire rest of the world.
In a pinch, they would fucking hate it, but in a pinch, they could live with Bernie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
But what they couldn't live with is anti-imperialism
look man like we'll pay you taxes okay but we gotta be on top yeah like the 1950s when we had
like you know late 40s and 50s when we had like eisenhower and truman we were still toppling
governments yeah we toppled fucking iran and i think that's i think that's in the back of their
head too it's like well fuck in pinch, it's going to be like
harkening back to the Eisenhower administration
or some shit.
You know what I mean?
But the economy's going to keep rolling
because we still have our hegemony.
Yeah.
And we still can plow these countries
and take what we want from them
and nothing they can fucking do about it.
Exactly.
No, it's fucking nuts it's it makes you
feel a bit like a crazy person and this is why anybody who doesn't have at least a few hesitations
about bernie should be very skeptical of because what he believed what he wants i agree with it of
course of course i'll even vote for him but what he wants is not contradictory to the empire and
again this is why i said earlier this is why his stance on immigration is conservative.
Yeah.
Because he wants to preserve...
He's been soft on BDS.
There's a lot of different things
that he's not really great on
that include empire.
Yeah.
It's just...
I don't know.
I don't know.
But I think
this conversation
has elevated above
my pay grade
I gotta sit this out
mine too
actually
I agree with you
but I don't know
what the fuck
you're talking about
yeah you're right
Eisenhower
Truman
fuck him up!
Fuck him up!
Social democracy!
Woo-hoo!
It's got a key, though.
Well, the takeaway here, Tanya,
is we know just as little about the electoral strategy as you do.
Which is to say we all three know way more than the people running the shit.
That's very true. That's very true.
That is very true.
Well, it's crazy.
You hear people talk confidently and stuff about stuff like Bernie,
and you're like, okay, maybe they know something I don't.
Maybe Bernie's doing some backstage, like, I'm with you, Omar.
I've got your back the whole way.
Maybe they see Bernie winking at them through the TV,
and you know what I'm saying
yeah but I feel like
it can drive you crazy because
if you're I guess if you're not in the know
I mean you know
I just don't know why we all have such a knee jerk
reaction to defend
oh there's bad behavior
and like make excuses or not even bad behavior
but just like the absence of behavior
it's like let people stand on their own two fucking feet.
I agree, Tonya.
So quit defending people.
I don't even defend myself anymore.
I'm indefensible.
Drag me for all I'm worth.
I'm with you, man.
I don't have enough human interactions in a week
to have to even get myself in that sort of position.
You're not draggable at this point.
Untouchable.
I'm the lowest of the low.
I hang out in the library a lot, and I like it.
Bottom faders here.
Yeah, no, I...
You spend a lot of time in microfilm, don't you?
I spend a lot of time in the microfilm.
And I got talking to this guy there today,
and he was like, what do you do?
Is there a group of you guys that just meets there every night?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
There's a lot of black longminers that hang out there.
And Darren's just there going, Oh, hey, Jeff.
What's up, Ronnie?
Oh, is it my day to bring donuts?
It really is like clocking in and out of a job.
It's like all the ladies that hang out in the room there.
They have a, what's it called?
Genealogy?
No, the genealogy room.
I hang out in the genealogy room.
Oh, they love it.
I hang out in there a lot. So many people hanging out in there. But I was talking to this guy. He was like, what do you do around here? I was like, oh,alogy room. I hang out in the genealogy room. Oh, they love it. I love it. I hang out in there a lot.
So many people hanging out in there.
But I was talking to this guy.
He was like, what do you do around here?
I was like, oh, I'm unemployed.
He goes, a lot of that around here.
Like it was a time-honored East Kentucky tradition.
You got valor for being unemployed.
Now I've got valor.
Fucking unemployed, but valor.
They're just so proud of you.
They're just so proud of you.
Exactly.
Young buck.
Good job, young blood.
Yeah, way to go.
But if you filed your paper, shit, you're getting your unemployment.
Well, has your appointment come up yet, actually?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You went?
You didn't?
No, it's the 16th.
All right, well, stay on it, goddamn.
I'm going to be very upset if you don't get unemployment.
I like that point of view that there's no shame in unemployment versus the get a fucking job bullshit from somebody.
It's like, motherfucker, I don't want to be a cop.
My family.
You made a choice.
I'm not making that choice.
We've thrown many unemployment parties.
You have a little dance.
You pin dollars on the bride-to-be.
It can kind of suck. You pin dollars on the bride-to-be. Really?
Yeah.
It can kind of start losing your mind a little bit.
They don't call it fun employment for nothing, man.
Lean into it.
I always thought fun employment was like when somebody says that,
I'm thinking, that motherfucker's got a little nest egg back there.
I've never been fun employed. I've been thinking, that motherfucker's got a little nest egg back there. I've never been fun-employed.
I've been unemployed, man.
I've never been fun-employed.
I'm with you there.
I guess I haven't really been either.
I've never been unemployed.
Really?
Since I was 17, yeah.
Well, I have been.
I guess we just lack initiative then, don't we?
I've been unemployed a handful of times.
Like all the self-hate I'm packing around.
Yeah.
This is nothing new, necessarily.
But, man, the thing is,
I'm just,
it seems like the last four years
are just living over again.
Like, I was unemployed this time
four years ago,
and I spent a lot of time in the library
in the microfilm,
and Bernie had just announced
he was running for president.
Life is just moving in the exact
same direction. It is weird.
It is weird. That's crazy to think about.
On the Facebook time hop thing
like four or five
years ago, there was something that was
so resonant that
I said like in 2013, I was like
and usually it's the exact opposite.
Usually you're so embarrassed.
But it was like, whatever it was it was like, usually it's the exact opposite you're so embarrassed but it's like whatever it was is like man that feels fresh you're right it feels very relatable society
has hit the point to where it's just stagnant nothing's moving anymore and so like we can look
back on those things like we were doing four years ago i'm doing this right now with you know
the mountain eagle stuff the things i was writing four years ago. The piece you just wrote
for popular,
you're talking about
our baton heading?
Exactly.
Everything old is new again.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm on this
but eight years ago.
You're reliving eight years ago,
which was what,
2011?
12?
Yeah, me like hitting a wall
at KFDC just like.
Oh, yeah.
You wrote it out
for a while though.
Five fucking years, wrote it out, a while though five fucking years wrote it out
yeah wrote it out sass yeah you fucking wrote the piss out of it fucking bareback for a long
fucking time yeah yeah that's the thing um that's kind of maddening though about the whole thing
cycling over again it's just like you can't really write a reasoned critique of bernie or anyone
anymore because it's already been written. I go back and
read stuff, viewpoint stuff from 2016
it's like these are all
valid critiques and completely
interchangeable from now and then.
There is no difference between Bernie 16 and Bernie
18.
Not yet but this is what
makes me think that
the people know something I don't. It's just that
is he okay?
Is that part of the strategy?
You know what I mean?
He's just like, I'm the same.
It's consistent.
You know, nothing's changed.
Like, you know, bands getting back together, get on board.
Yeah.
Or is he going to be like more sort of dynamic and adaptable?
I don't know, man.
Well, listen.
Is he going to come for the empire?
It's the first quarter. Is he going to come for the Empire? Is he going to come for the Empire?
That's what I want to know.
It's the first quarter of year one.
Let's walk it out a little bit and see what happens.
You're right.
Spoken by a true Cats fan.
Yeah.
It gives you a...
This is how we talk until the last minute of the game
i ain't called to come back cats for nothing all right boys hey cows bring that one boy from
chicago in next year god damn my god um oh one other thing you're talking about and then we can
close but i saw the funniest thing today
You were talking about earlier
You saw that Israeli sticker
I saw a funny bumper sticker today
It said Appalachian American
And it was presumed to be
Oh god I just
Fucked up Tom just slung his mic down
It fucking popped in my ear
It hurt
Dude Silas House has had that t-shirt
For a decade So it's like so do they are
they not aware of how offensive that is all lives matter man all lives matter i want to die i want
to die oh my god anyway well that'll do it for this week well now listen listen have you all well now i have a funny
uh a funny yeah have you ever had to share an office with somebody oh yeah yeah
what
oh my god oh my god you're gonna have to say that into the mic yeah Your toilet is dated November 7th, 2016. Oh my God.
Oh my God.
You're going to have to say that into the mic.
Yeah, say that into the mic, man.
I said the New Yorker that's conspicuously sitting on top of your toilet with like fucking
pee germs on it.
It's dated election day 2016.
Just further confirming that.
I cannot.
That you're living four years ago.
It's reality just stopped for me. this is not normal i tell you here's what here's what i do on that too is um today i
was listening to the little wayne no ceilings mixtape from like 2010 and i and like two months
ago i was like man little wayne a lot of this shit didn't age well.
And I popped that in, Dad.
I was like, fucking Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. is the greatest fucking rapper that ever fucking lived, man.
So we're just, we are at a place where we can't just objectively critique anything that happened in the last 15 years.
where we can't just objectively critique anything that happened in the last 15 years.
The funniest thing about that New Yorker election day
on the back of my toilet
is that it's like radiocarbon dating or something.
It's like you can see in the geologic layer
where I stopped reading the New Yorker.
When Trump was elected.
When Trump was elected.
That's hilarious.
That's amazing.
Goes on the back of the toilet.
These fuckers are...
I ain't touched it since
oh my god
been pissing on it
ever since
in fact I quit reading
the New Yorker period
when Donald Trump got elected
wow
yup
except for the Borowitz report
fucking Andy Borowitz
well listen
the best thing I heard today
before this episode
of course
was my office mate was my office mate on a video
call and like she had just like hit the button and longed in and then some like a voice comes
up talking really loud and they said well you know I quit smoking weed at the end of the year
so I'm dreaming again that's not I dreamed Mel Gibson was carrying me around.
I swear.
That's not a dream.
That's a nightmare.
That was so funny.
Real weed heads know.
When you stop smoking weed, those first few nights, they suck real bad.
Well, actually, they're kind of fun.
I don't know.
It just depends on what that's your thing. I don't smoke weed every day, and I dream a lot.
I have a lot of weird dreams.
Do you think when I smoke, it impacts my dreaming the following days?
It does.
That hadn't even occurred to me.
I had had a bunch of weird-ass dreams.
So when you stop smoking, what it does is it represses REM sleep.
And so when you stop smoking, your brain kind of does a sort of overcorrection,
and then you start really having REM sleep.
And that's why the dreams are so vivid and
experiential. You're so
involved. Oh wow. I didn't
realize this. Holy fuck.
The science of being a stoner
from Terrence Ray.
I had some wild... If I
tell someone my dream, I'll remember it.
But if I don't speak it out loud, I'll usually forget it.
So the worst of the worst, I gotta keep to myself.
So I try to bury that sumbitch.
So you just turned on the video conference when your coworkers were saying that?
No, my coworker turned on the video conference.
I think it was on a...
And somebody was saying that?
Yeah, I didn't know who she was video conferencing with.
That's funny.
I just heard it.
That's the first...
It was like loud.
The first thing that you heard.
The first...
As soon as she hit the button, it was like, you know, I quit smoking weed last year.
All throughout the building.
Yeah.
It's just like really loud.
I was on a Sierra Club call today and I was the only one like I don't ever get on the
video calls just because I'm weird about like people like nine people looking at me.
So it's everyone's face and then a black.
Yeah.
So it's just me.
Tom Six.
And Abby and Rick Ross.
Well, there's well, there's well, there's like this pause, right?
Like in the action.
And I don't know what it was about my phone,
but it queued up War Ready by Rick Ross.
No.
And it's like, you know, the intro to that song,
just this real ominous drum pattern.
And it's just like quiet.
And then I'm just like, oh, fuck.
How do I get this off there?
And then I hit pause and I hear somebody say,
if you could just mute your line if you're not speaking,
I'm hearing some musing.
Oh, my God.
And it had to be me because everybody else was right there.
Damn.
It's so anal.
The conference calls.
The video conference calls.
Too much
I mean you're just staring
At your double chin
The whole time
Just like
It's a terrible angle
You know the laptop video
For sure
The laptop camera angle
Come on
For sure
Yeah
It's terrible
Anytime I like FaceTime
Or do anything with anybody
We were recording
The other day
And I was recording
The other day
And I couldn't enjoy The conversation Like I wanted to and I was recording the other day and I couldn't enjoy
the conversation
like I wanted to
because I was just thinking,
do they think I'm fat?
And I was like
doing this thing
where I was like
hiding my double chin.
Beneath it all
we're all just
so vain.
Well,
let's see.
Signing off.
Bernie 2020.
Yeah,
Bernie 2020.
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Off your donations, Telefriend.
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We're not adult content anymore?
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Oh, we've been hidden?
I didn't know.
Yeah, because we're adult content
what
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no I think it just
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yeah
we do talk about titties
yeah
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people say
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bye