Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 95: Resource Degeneration X
Episode Date: May 3, 2019We debut some new characters, such as Ace Frehley Keyes, and Tom tells us about his trip to Miami. Then we do a little bit of reading from the New York Times about some rich kids who are under the ill...usion that they're revolutionaries. Support our Patreon!!!! www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty
Transcript
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move i've had these for years i approve well thank you i mix that with my stevie nicks hat
because my hair is filthy and it's also a good uh a good way to avoid your co-workers if you
got a low brim hat i think celebrities and airports have mastered that yeah move you know
at one time we were at the beach on vacation and my cousin had
a big old floppy hat on and some like she was wearing like festival wear fringe and shit and
someone come up to her to look under her hat i think they thought she was a celebrity
yeah and we were like what the fuck get out of here who's under there
probably paparazzi who's under there
um have we got a level yeah i think we got a level Probably paparazzi Who's under there?
Have we got a level?
Yeah, I think we got a level Welcome everybody
We have a special guest on the show this week
Ace Frehley
Ace Frehley everybody
Welcome
Hey guys
Welcome Ace
I came by to play some guitar for you
That's definitely more Ellis Keys
Than Ace Freh
That's Ellis Keys
And Ace Freh
You just have
You just created a composite of the worst
Possible person
Doesn't get worse than that
Fucking Nazi Trump supporting
Rock and roll legend
I wanted to come play some guitar for you.
You hope it's okay?
That is a scary.
It's dead on.
It's dead on.
It's very weird.
I saw, listen, this is honest to God.
I saw him in Walmart, coming out of Walmart.
I was going in and I just veered off to avoid, I didn't even go into Walmart.
I went through like the fucking garden.
You're talking about Ace Frehley Keys?
Keys. Yeah. Hey. You're talking about Ace Freely Keys? Keys.
Yeah. Hey, you know how people have an aura. Welcome to
Whitebird, Kentucky.
We just came by to play
some guitar for you.
Please stop that.
Just reel that in. I can't.
Rock and roll. Could you hear Ace up here?
Yeah, I could.
What do you mean?
I could hear Ace in Fort Wayne, Indiana, baby.
You can hear Ace on the moon.
We drove by and they were setting up.
I can't believe they set up a whole new stage down there.
Did you see it?
I went down there.
Did you?
Yeah.
You actually went to the grounds?
Yeah, I went down there.
You had a ticket?
No.
No, I just sort of snuck in.
I ran into Russ and John.
And they were going?
The tattoo shop.
No, they were hanging out in John's yard.
No, they were there.
That was my plan.
I ran into Russ and Russ was like, man, you could just come up to the stage.
Like, they're not checking things or whatever.
Yeah, if you buy takes to a Greg Napier show, you're a rube.
Yeah.
Oh, he used to
switch you to
shake you down
at Summit City
at both doors.
Anywho,
I couldn't believe
he set up that
whole stage,
but when we came
back through,
it was just people
leaving,
and it had just
started because
it was a downpour.
Yeah, well,
I got to hand it
to him.
He came out,
and he still
rocked out. in the porn rain
he was real nice too really yeah he was like he was like he's kind of got uh it was really funny
because he's got like a real he has the exact accent you would expect like like in new york like
hey what's going on weisberg we're gonna play some songs for you tonight we're to play some songs for you tonight. We're going to play some songs for you. I'm walking in.
I'm fucking shredding right here.
I'm fucking shredding right here.
This one's from my 1978 solo album.
Oh, he had some really funny songs.
Does he have long hair?
Oh, yeah.
He still has long hair.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was really surprised.
I thought that he was going to be sort of like a...
Because, you know, it had like a downpour. It was really surprised. I thought that he was going to be sort of like a... Because, you know, it had like a downpour.
It was so funny.
Like the crowd, though.
The crowd was exactly what you would expect.
Oh, yeah.
I saw him walking and it was just like leather vests.
Yes.
Totally.
So many leather vests.
Kiss Army.
Yeah.
Straight up Kiss Army.
The Kiss Army was out.
Absolute Kiss Army.
Knights in Satan's service.
Yeah.
Damn.
Listen who called in to the radio show this morning
wanting me to pitch them hey sons no sons of the confederate something you tell them go hell
i said have a good day thank you god bless they're set up down there to save a lot in
fucking coburn or somewhere and they didn't tell me what they were doing while they set up doing but I didn't
ask their care.
After they say Confederate you just
I had some doubt.
Thanks Mancini. I'm good.
Also you lost.
Go home. Move on.
I'm sorry I'm trying to find
this song
that he sang last night
well we were speaking
about celebrities there
and I got a
a little bit of a
funny story
so my cousin
Adam Adams
that's his name
government name
Adam Adams
he's
you know
he's a professional gambler
that's what he does
still I thought
he hung up his hat
no he
fuck no he didn't
hang it up
no
well now he's kind
of the guy at the like the casinos on the river near cincinnati where like if like the high rollers
come in they call him to come play with them yeah because he's just like you know he married into
money and he's just you know he's like really good to get he's one of the world's best gamblers
really is and so like maybe like a year or two ago bruce willis came to play with him
and uh he said bruce was nice and you know like one of those guys that you know is made just making
bad jokes and everybody's acting like oh god that's great bruce you know and all this stuff
and uh the guy that's me yeah well that's could be any of us. Not me.
I say fuck the celebs, man.
To their face.
I say that.
We had a literal celeb on our show.
Hey, Bruce Willis, look at me.
I'm no big guy.
I still kick your fucking ass.
Anyway, so one of the guys with Bruce Willis on that trip is this guy named Randall Emmett, who's
the director of that show Power, and he did Gotti, the John Travolta movie a couple other
days.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's engaged to the one chick from Vanderpump Rules.
I forget what her name is.
I've never seen it, but I know.
I've heard people talk about it.
I've never seen it, though.
But anyway, he's kind of this schlubby guy in his 50s probably and like you know she's like fucking drop dead gorgeous all
this shit you know archetypal director dating way out of his league like fuck it like who's
the guy that x-men brian singer no no not him that's a different thing that's a different thing. That's a different thing he did. Little boys.
You're referring to little boys.
Zach.
Help me out here.
Zach Snyder?
Not Zach Snyder.
I don't know.
Fuck, what's his name?
I thought Bryan Singer did that.
I can't name one director.
He was engaged.
Tom and Tanya.
This guy I'm thinking about.
Steven Spielberg?
Okay, yeah. Maybe I could have come up with that one. She can name one. This guy I'm thinking about. Steven Spielberg? Okay, yeah, maybe I could have come up with that one.
She could name one.
This guy I'm thinking about.
Ron Howard.
Ron Howard.
Ava.
Ava.
I'm just naming all the directors on now.
The guy I'm thinking of was engaged to Serena Williams for a little bit.
Give me Stahl for a second.
I'll figure it out.
Yeah, let's ask fucking Siri.
Which X-Men, though, Tom?
Because I know Bryan Singer did most of the X-Men.
He might have produced it.
Oh, no, Brett Ratner.
I'm sorry, Brett Ratner.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Okay.
Yeah, he did like Rush Hour.
Rush Hour and all that shit.
Yeah.
And maybe he didn't do X-Men.
I don't know.
Anyway.
How did we get here?
Anyway, I'm getting that.
Little voice.
So.
Child sex ring so adam made buddies with randall emmett and they keep in touch not only they keep in touch like they
go on trips and shit like gambling trips and everything and i'm tossed and he just like this
is something he neglects to mention it's like when your friends get rich like they like go and
like get rich friends sometimes famous rich they like go and like get rich friends
sometimes famous rich friends they go do like rich guy dick shit like you know yeah so anyway
oh from last episode okay so uh anyway he said yeah uh you know So it's apparently a big thing in the celebrity gossip papers, this wedding.
And he got invited to it.
No shit.
Yeah, so my cousin's going to be at the Vanderpump Rules starlet slash this Emmett dude's wedding.
Jesus.
Fuck, man.
Well, good thing Ace...
Hey, Ace, are you going to go to that?
Yeah, I'm going to be there.
I'm going to be there.
No, that's Ellis.
Why is Ellis in your house?
I just wandered up here.
I thought I'd be in a podcast.
That is...
I can't handle this.
I can't either.
I'm so creeped out.
I mean,
I had literally
laid eyes on this man
two days ago
and I've been creeped out
ever since.
I don't know,
I don't know what y'all
are talking about.
Does anybody look more like shit
than Ellis Giesler?
I don't know what y'all
are talking about.
I will never,
for as long as I live,
forget the day he brought
raw meat
into Summit City.
Just a sack
of raw meat.
Here, y'all can serve this.
I don't know what you're talking about. Here, I just wanted to donate this.
We're talking about Ace.
That was probably a human.
Also, the other thing, too,
is like Ellis Keys
makes Steve Bannon
look like a goddamn oil painter.
I've never seen an uglier,
more unkempt man.
Why are you ragging on Nellish, man?
This motherfucker came here to play some rock and roll.
God, it's so dark.
Go back to the New York I'm walking here.
I like that better phrase.
And actually, it's more appropriate.
No, it's funny, though.
Ace Freely Keys is a much better character
it's now a character in the trilogies canon okay dude here's my question i've just been walking
around my house the past 24 hours and talking to myself in that voice jesus christ hey tarantula
you're gonna clean out your bathtub today
it's just too on the nose.
If you're going to dissolve that body, you're going to need...
You know how somebody can do a Trump, and it's not really close, but it's still funny
because you can get what they're going for.
This is creepy.
Yours is just too good.
But people don't know that.
The audience doesn't know that.
So all the audience knows is Freely Keys.
Well, we could play one of his videos.
Oh, yeah. you're right direct
your party ellis keys for those that don't know is the former mayoral candidate from san francisco
that at some point became a nazi and hosted the fucking traditionalist workers party yeah we did
yeah we did introduce him to the uh the trail billy's cannon um with
the anna merlin episode because she met him yeah yeah she met ellis she met ellis she came down to
cover that and then mad ham yeah i would have loved to be a fly on the tree up there because
i've seen his property and it is a tick infested autumn olive rock bed is what it is and he had
them camping up there.
They got what they deserved.
That probably was their downfall. Maybe that was practice.
Maybe he was like, we're gonna make them sleep on it.
I wanna make them think.
We're gonna make them sleep on a
rocky strip mine.
Oh god, he's
just too good.
Here's the thing about Ellis Keyes too
that doesn't jive. Here the thing about ellis that doesn't
jive so ellis like claims he's from new orleans right that is not a new orleans accent that he
does that that's not even like the new orleans yet that's like fucking doesn't he claim he was
like either in jail or like in the system somehow i'm a political prisoner darren katrina and they
his shit got lost or something so he's off scot-free.
Oh, yeah.
That's Daniel Dotson claims Darren Katrina that he avoided a lot of shit because of...
It wasn't Katrina.
It was another big hurricane in the 90s.
Or whatever it was.
Anyway.
Irene or something.
I can't.
Now that I've been talking so much in that voice,
I've started to hear my own internal thoughts in that voice. No, you're fucking yourself over here.
We got to bring this back.
We got to get you out in the sunshine.
Yeah, we got to bring you out in the cabin.
I don't think I've had a human interaction since Sunday.
That's not true.
I went down to the show last night.
Today's Friday, folks. To the Ace Freely show. You hung went down to the show last night today's friday folks to the ace
freely you had the the fucking quentin the penultimate he's like we're gonna rock uh
it was kind of like so does he have some solo albums or did he just do a bunch of kiss songs
no so there's here's the thing and you know it's always kind of a a mixed bag when you're dealing
with these kind of artists.
Because you never know what you're going to get.
You never know if you're going to get them wanting to play their solo shit.
Or if they'll just shut the fuck up and play the hits.
Dance, Ponyboy.
Dance.
He played a mix.
He played a few Kiss songs at first.
But then he started to get into his solo stuff.
And that's when I left.
I was like, man, I don't know these songs.
Was it late at night?
I don't do the Space Man.
Or it was raining?
No, it wasn't raining.
It was pretty late.
It was like maybe 10, 30 or 11.
So they waited until they waited the rain out?
I went up there at nine something, and I think they were in the meet and greet portion of the programming.
They had a meet and greet?
Yeah.
As you know, Greg will sell them
$300 packages.
So this is the funniest thing.
Did it sell out?
Did he sell out?
How could you sell out?
There's no way.
How many people
did you say were there?
Maybe like 200.
Maybe?
Yeah, which is probably
like fucking,
what's the boys
we were going to host
that time?
Country boys.
Sunday best. Sunday best.
Sunday best, yeah.
Like, they probably had 500 or 600 people there.
Well, I think the rain is what did it.
I think there were more people there, and then they left,
and then they thought that he wasn't going to play.
Why did he choose Riverside and have to set up a whole new stage?
Because he could sell more seats.
Well, that's the funniest thing that me and Tom were talking about.
So I was talking to somebody last night
and they were like,
they were like, why is
Ace Frehley in Whitesburg? And I was like,
well, so there's
this guy. He's a character, really.
This guy named Greg who
brings these Legacy X
in to Whitesburg. He calls them
Legacy X.
I gotta confess, Mike, I kinda love Greg.
Tom is the only guy I know that likes Greg.
I know he's just a total huckster.
Yeah, he's...
But, like, I got...
Greg is Tom in 30 years.
Yeah, I can't fucking...
I used to be able to do an impeccable Greg.
I got you.
I can fill in the gap here.
Let's hang out with Greg and Ellis.
Hey, Tom.
We got Glenn Hughes from Deep Purple.
We got Glenn Hughes from Deep Purple.
Six million albums sold.
Next week, I got Richie Cotsen.
Formerly of Poison.
Four million albums sold. Got his own fender signature series this
gonna be the smallest room he plays on this run
there's a there's actually some overlap here because ellis and greg have beef
oh really yeah hey fuck you, buddy. Because Ellis...
Oh, God.
Oh, let's do this.
We can do this.
I'll be...
Let's enact this scene.
I'm going to set this up for you, okay?
All right.
So one time, Ellis was trying to get into a Greg show.
I knew that's what it was.
Greg is the biggest dick about getting into those fucking shows.
What do you mean?
I got to pay $25 to see the keyboard?
fucking show. What do you mean I gotta pay $25 to see the keyboard?
Didn't listen.
What do you mean I gotta
pay this?
This is preposterous.
The xylophone player for Whitesnake What do you mean I got a
I used to hang out with Sin Lizzy
And hate Ashbury in 1973
I'm gonna have to hit you in Hayler
Ellis I'm only gonna tell you once man
If you don't get out of here
I'm gonna call Tyrone
I'm gonna call the mayor of Wattsburg
Call him get him down here
I'll take him to court
And then this is where you tell me
You're gonna cut my dick off
And throw me in the dumps
Yeah
That really happened
I'll bury you underneath
Your rocks under my property
Up in Democrat He up in Democrat.
He lives in Democrat, Kentucky, which is hilarious.
A place called Democrat, Kentucky.
I'm truly fucked up over here.
You saying, what do you mean I gotta pay $35 to hear the keyboard player playing Lizzie and Ellis' voice?
It's all it took.
God damn, I wish these people knew Ellis and how fucking spot on.
Go watch, there's a video on C-SPAN.
Go Google Ellis Keyes C-SPAN.
Party of life.
And listen to this guy talk and then compare it to Taylor.
If you all had told me this was going to be the Ellis Keyes episode,
I would have called in sick. Okay, I would have called in sick.
Okay?
I would have called in sick.
You used to organize him.
He's KFTC-er for life, baby.
I did too.
I did too.
No, we were not allowed to have him in the office.
I had to organize him because he was a water tester.
He got caught looking at porn on a KFTC computer before my time.
What kind of porn? I don't know no one said
okay but yeah he wasn't allowed in the office when he would come in you would have to like
there was like protocol to get him out and then lock the door well he had a keys protocol like a
tornado yeah that i was given okay this is what is this patreon there's no this is for real this is the public
well okay i'll edit it then this was the two first things they tell you when you when you
start working in the wattsburg office of kftc one there's the keys protocol if he comes like
an active shooter drill you don't tell him you're on your way out you gotta go gotta lock the door
gotta get him out lock the door second is that your two most active members
longest members that are married mind you i know you're talking about once having an affair with a
younger member and uh everyone knows but you have to pretend that no one knows those are the two
most important things to know oh i know you're talking about yeah the uh there's a really
hilarious video uh so you know how me and tom we just shot that thing for means tv about that black
ridge at black mountain ridge nice plug you did there yeah yeah well it's there's a video of ellis
and some ramps activists in like the mid-2000s up at that exact spot.
Is that how we could finally cancel ramps?
Tying them to Ellis keys?
Does it even still exist?
Hopefully not, but I don't know.
It's really funny, though, because Ellis is videotaping it.
He's like, all right, going to need you to hold the flag here.
Oh, yeah.
He's directing.
Yeah, he's directing.
And the first couple minutes of the video is just him like saying like trying to get everybody in the right place and it's like these
like crusty dc like dreadlocked activists like yeah man mount top removal sucks and elsa's like
that's all that's right all right gonna need you to stand right here
in that same spot in the exact same spot when i saw that video i was like oh my god well here
we are again i thought we were done with the mountain witness tour and we have come full
circle oh yeah we revived it yeah we were for the socialist movement when they shut up were
they like can you take us to a strip mine is that what they said yeah and that's why i was like i
don't know any better spot like that's the best spot it is the best spot for a video and you can't be you can't be uh risk and trespass with people from out of town yeah um
well what i was gonna say about the greg shows is that um it's really funny to me because there
were people there last night so it's all just one big area and it's like i just walked in there for free and there were
motherfuckers there who i guarantee paid 200 wait for what for that ace freely show last night why
because that's how greg does the artificial demand thing he's that he like hikes it up well he gets a
lot of people from out of town yeah yeah yeah yeah and so they'll pay like 200 to like get in the pit
but they don't understand the pit is as good as like row 700.
He does this at Apple Shop too.
He'll charge like $100 for the
front row. And in Apple Shop
all this, like the back row is actually probably
better than the front row. Yeah, there ain't a bad seat in there.
Also, it's 150
seats. He'd sell 200 tickets. I almost
kind of respect it. It's a good grip. It's a hustle.
Complete dick. And he's like, huh, huh,
I wonder how this happened. Well, it's so funny.
The funniest thing about Greg
though is like how he just
flouts like the fire code and shit.
Like, he'll just be like, oh, I talked
to James Wiley at school. And like,
you know, the mayor's fucking doesn't know his
name four days out of the week. He's sundown.
T-Ray, what's going on, man?
The mayor said
My opinion, you didn't want to run into Greg
last night interloping
No, no, no, no
He would have disciplined me
T-Ray, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, man
Look, man, I know you weren't here
I know you want to see the spaceman
The spaceman?
The spaceman Ace Frehley
Again, I was pleasantly surprised with how fun Ace Frehley was.
I bet he would have offered you a half-price ticket.
He probably would have.
Oh, fuck.
I thought it was rained out.
I came down to see the Spaceman.
We drove by there.
It was poor.
And I was like, there's no fucking way.
No, I mean, what happened is I think they just nixed the opening bands.
Oh, okay.
Because me and Michelle, we had plans.
That fucking, that is shitty, dude michella we had that fucking that's shitty
dude let me tell you why that's shitty because i know greg's mo and he ain't paid them he didn't
pay no he makes them pay to like get on the bill like sell tickets to get on the bill well and so
i saw one of the bands i can't remember their name now but i saw them on facebook like uh
bragging about it like no big deal just opening for ace really on thursday
except they did it yeah our our plan was to picnic just right across the river over there
yeah and the upper bottom that'd have been fine seats that's what i yeah you could have heard
everything you don't necessarily need to see ace really's wrinkled well there was it was funny
because i was i stood at the back with the water plant employees.
Like, all the employees from the water plant were just sitting out there,
and they were videotaping it from all the way in the back.
And then Russ came up there and was talking to us.
He was like, man, just come up to the front.
Fuck it.
You know what's fucking funny is I bet Greg would probably try to go up to the water guys.
Hey, guys, you do a fine job for this city.
But if you're going to stand here and watch the show,
I need $57 a piece.
Now I'm giving you half price here.
This is the smallest venue he'll play in five years.
Ace Frehley never coming back to Eastern Kentucky one night only.
And then he'll have him back next year same time.
Dude, I sent Tom a really
funny comment yesterday.
This is the event of the summer, really.
I sent Tom a really funny comment yesterday.
I saw on Facebook.
Hey Ace, my husband
Harrison Sexton is going to be there tonight.
Would it be possible for you to take a picture with him?
He named his first born son after you.
Let me ask you a question.
Did they name,
you think they named the son Ace or like Paul Daniel?
Oh.
Interesting.
Or did they name him
Paul Daniel Ace?
Ace.
Sex.
Oh my God.
I don't know.
If I did that,
I'll claim you.
Lord have mercy.
Pretty funny.
Well.
The funniest Greg show.
The funniest fucking Greg show of all times when he had la guns in
summit city yeah you were working there at the time huh yeah la guns shows were fucking insane
because you could tell these guys never doesn't matter if they're in fucking white'sburg kentucky
or the viper room they think they're like la strip is still the 80s and they would pull up their tour
bus right on a main street and take up like 16 spaces and then i don't think they understood how small summit was yeah summit for
people listen there's like two big glass windows behind the stage so the sound boomerangs yeah so
like it is a loud fucking venue and small yeah it's absolutely tiny. Like, capacity's 160, but really, like, if you get 40 warm bodies
in there, it's packed out.
It's capacity's 160? 160.
That's... Wow.
That's insane. That's Joel Beverly
paying the fire marshal off.
When we did our show, when the Trillbillies did our
show there, we got close to 100, I bet.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'd say we...
And it felt packed, for sure. And it felt packed, yeah.
But the L.A. guns were all in there. We didn't have a crowd like the la guns i'll tell you that right now they were out in the streets
they were sitting on the damn post office lawn trying to keep peek through the glass window well
it's funny because like women you know will be there like okay there's like several kinds of
archetypes at these shows there's like guy all everybody's just trying to relive the 80s at these type shows.
Whether it's Richie Cotsen, L.A. Guns, even Striper.
But let me tell you something.
He'll 100% on nostalgia.
Let me tell you something, though.
Let me tell you something, though.
You don't think if Tears for Fears were on there, we'd be in there fucking.
I would absolutely be there.
I love Tears for Fears.
Yeah, like it's the same shit.
Like we like all these 80s goth bands and 80s golf bands and shoegaze bands and shit.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
The difference is that these people actually lived through those years.
Yeah.
They're like, hey.
We were like three.
Yeah.
When Tears for Fears were out.
Pretty funny.
How does Greg ever actually make money on these shows?
Oh, yeah.
He makes a grip on some of these shows
I would say if he's charging 200 bucks
for pit
tickets
there are people dumb enough to actually
you could probably book Ace Frehley
if we could probably pull 4 grand
5 grand a year
maybe I should even edit this
but then again nobody in Letcher County even listens to this podcast
that's something to do it's yet to be seen Then again, nobody in Letcher County even listens to this podcast.
That's something to do.
It's yet to be seen who's writing in to Speak Your Peace about us.
Yeah.
I haven't been reading Speak Your Peace lately.
Since I don't go to work anymore, I don't see the Mountain Eagle on a daily basis.
Well, this week somebody said, did you see y'all are in the Mountain Eagle?
And I was like, uh, this week?
Really?
And then they were like no it said it called terrence called terrence a twink and tom bald and yeah yeah and on record tom is not bald i don't know am i grotesque or something
i'm just never felt lower about my appearance in my life.
I've never lacked confidence with, you know.
No, Tom, you're not going to test.
You're probably the best looking one.
That's why they're fucking with you. Some person that falls in this cell looks like Humpty Dumpty.
What?
Somebody said that?
I did see that.
I was like, why would you say that to somebody?
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Well, see, the thing is.
It's a face for radio.
Yeah.
The thing is, like, you know, amongst friends, you bust each other's balls.
But everybody knows you don't go to the places that really hurt.
You know what I'm saying?
You know, like, sometimes you dated someone one time, he will remain nameless, who thought we were
just a little too, who thought we were much closer than we actually were and who would
like sort of rib me.
You know, like sometimes you ever just know somebody who.
Oh.
They just, they're a habitual line stripper.
Like Charlie Murphy said.
Habitual line stripper.
Yeah, somebody who like
you know they'll like
sort of rib you
and you're like
I don't know you like that man
and it turns into a thing though
yes
who was
who is this that I dated
can you give me a hint
so I know who it is
yeah
it was Softacliz
is that
is that too much of a hint
will people figure that out
oh that dude
was a habitual line stepper
yeah
I probably had two interactions
with him both times
it's like bro you don't know me like that yeah Oh, that dude was a habitual line stepper. I probably had two interactions with him both times.
It's like, bro, you don't know me like that.
I walked in. I walked in.
Let's say dating.
I think that's a strong word.
Yeah, you're right.
Honestly.
You're right.
Sorry.
How would you classify it?
More like a booty call, perhaps.
You can't even call it that he couldn't get it up
he had no skills let me tell you one on this a warm body a warm body i don't know that was
i walked in he had a lot of nice hair he did have good hair he had long good long hair
you can't have it all my first lesbian. First. Damn. Yeah. When you put it that way.
He was your gateway into lesbianism.
No, he was not the first lesbian I was with, but I would put him in that category.
Interesting.
I wonder if I'm that in anybody's category.
A lesbian.
Probably.
Probably.
I'd say.
I don't think that's a bad category to be in, honestly.
It could be worse than being a israel i should hope so um you can do way worse yeah
wow what was this oh yeah i was gonna tell you one on tanya i walked into the house one time
they're dating i see him this motherfucker right here just splayed out on my bed at the back there. Walked back there and then she
just, he got up and left and
I said. Wait, at your house? Yeah.
They were here with a bunch of them
at Transition Pick. Oh, yeah.
I do remember that. And I come in there and I said,
well, how's it going? She just looked at me
and shook her head.
That was the first night
I tried to make out with him and he
just left he like freaked out and left wow why would i would make it i would make out with
probably literally anybody i was like hey let's make out i mean it's so harmful i'll go a step
further you know i'd fuck anything like if you want to get me in bed, you don't have to try that damn hard.
And his, uh...
The record show.
Let the record show.
Yeah, let the record show.
I will stop right there.
Yeah, I'm not going to dig in on my record, goddamn.
I know, like, I mustered up the balls to say, hey, let's make out.
Just, like, low key.
No, seriously.
He couldn't take it.
He couldn't even handle it.
Whatever.
Wow.
That's a little more direct than my old line.
Hey, you want to go watch some TV?
Yeah, I was very clear.
Well, I saw this week, yesterday yesterday yes okay so two new stories yesterday i saw
that florida of course has finally passed that teachers can bring guns to school
nice awesome and then this morning i heard that the nra is bankrupt
over wow so so who leveraged that so they're winning and losing at the same time And this morning I heard that the NRA is bankrupt. Interesting.
Wow.
So who leveraged that?
So they're winning and losing at the same time.
How's this happening?
That's weird.
Well, yeah, there's like a currently like a power shakeup at the NRA, right?
Like I think they're trying to get rid of.
They're suing themselves right now.
The NRA is suing them. They're suing NRA TV.
Really?
Yeah, for like overcharging them or something.
What?
This was literally the morning dispatch this morning.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's funny.
That's why I know.
That's really funny.
So in Florida, then, if you're a teacher, you can pack heat.
Yeah, I mean, this came across the TV real quick last night in the restaurant I was in,
and Michelle told me.
I should probably fact check this.
When I was a student at UT, they were...
You had an active shooter situation, didn't you?
Yeah, we did have an active shooter.
Oh, at Texas?
Yeah, yeah.
That was crazy.
That guy was just walking around just shooting an automatic weapon just haphazardly.
He wasn't even aiming at anybody.
Yeah.
And then he went to the top of the PLC, I think that's what it was called, the pericastinated,
PCL, and he shot himself.
And so that spurred a debate of should teachers be allowed to should anybody be allowed to carry on campus
and then they passed that after I'd left maybe about a year after I'd left a year or two after
I left at UK the worst thing we had was the foot stab the library foot stabber somebody was going
under the desk in the library and stabbing people's feet what the fuck which is
i'd rather have an active shooter which in some ways i'd rather take my chances with the guy they
are 15 but colton told tuli i think that was his name that's the guy who went on how did some brave
bitch tackle him or something how'd they bring him down he just got tired wow, UT has the biggest... UT has... I think UT has the biggest school shooting still
in history, right?
Or definitely it was for the longest time.
Charlie Whitman.
That's so fucking hilarious.
You don't have...
You know you live in a fucked up country
when your school has the first
and probably at least fourth
biggest active shooter things.
That's going to be in the fucking recruitment catalog.
Hey, hey.
It's basically no different than like talking about your Confederate past.
That's true.
That's going to be like the dystopian thing.
Well, you know.
They'll probably start serving it.
We've moved on and we're not proud of it.
Serving it like getting struck by lightning twice.
Like we've already been through that.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Probably won't happen again.
Chances are very low.
Well, that one was insane because Charlie Whitman was trained by the military and so
he was a really good shot.
So he was just smoking.
Picking them off.
Yeah.
God damn.
From the top of the tower.
From the top of the bell tower on UT Canvas, which is one of the most fascist architectural
structures in America, I feel like. Have y'all ever seen it? Mm-mm one of the most fascist architectural structures in america i feel like
have y'all ever seen it it's so fascist is it just bevo the the cow with the fucking like
eagle on his head holding like an iron cross or something that would be less fascist than this
building um this is ut longhorns right yeah. I followed their softball team in high school. Oh, really? They have a great softball team.
Yeah, everybody loves the...
Alex still knows.
Yeah.
Can we take five seconds?
I've got to be so bad.
I hate to fuck up our thing here,
but I've got a reading thing I want us to...
A reading?
Yeah.
Okay.
And we could also talk about Miami if you want.
Turn this episode around.
That's good.
That's a lot of good banter.
We're just a little choppy.
We ain't been at it in a minute.
I mean, y'all can keep it if you want.
Well, yeah, tell me about Miami.
Well...
Did you stay in six different hotels?
No, just one.
But they're all on the same strip.
Right.
So, like, where I was at Biscayne Boulevard, it's, like, all these old, like, motels that
they've refurbished into these, like, you know, boutique things or whatever.
And they all got their neon signs up front.
It's real kitsch, but it's cool.
I love those neon signs.
Especially the copper-toned girl.
Yeah, that's the crown jewel.
Well, is this a family vacation, or?
No, me and Alex just went down there and got away got away got away i thought about looking up uh my dad my family but i was like yeah and i'll just sit that one why ruin a vacation really yeah
have you ever seen him yeah i met him once okay just him once You don't want to give up those witch powers
If you've never seen your daddy
What's that mean?
People who have never seen their dad can heal
Really?
Yeah
God damn it
And maybe warts
That's fucked up
I traded witch powers to fucking watch Jeopardy
And eat chicken nuggets one night in 94 Yeah that's a bad. I traded witch powers to fucking watch Jeopardy and eat chicken nuggets one night in 94.
Yeah, that's a bad mistake.
I sold a wart this week.
It's gone.
Really?
Yeah.
Somebody bought it off of me for a penny.
What?
I told somebody I thought I was getting a wart on my thumb.
Like a little bitty wart.
And she was like, I'll buy it off of you.
And she gave me a penny.
I rubbed the penny on it.
And it's gone. Oh my God. That she gave me a penny. I rubbed the penny on it. And it's gone.
Oh, my God.
That wasn't no damn wart.
I don't know.
Guess we'll never know.
Seemed like a wart to me.
So, yeah.
So, Miami was.
The thing about Miami that's crazy is it's just for only the rich and beautiful.
Yeah.
Like, I felt so fucking...
As if Trillbillies hadn't brought you down enough.
As if this goddamn charade of the show
hadn't brought me down enough.
You took your ass to Miami,
tried to trot around Topless down there.
It was really the worst time to go down there
coming off of people calling me fat on the internet
and ugly and everything else.
You're going to give this man a complex.
I hope you people are proud of yourselves.
I just want people to know I have a really good look at him. You're going to give this man a complex. I hope you people are proud of yourselves. I just want people to know
I have a really good look at him.
You body shaming bastards.
So I go to fucking Miami.
So I go in this place.
I was looking because Caroline
took care of the cat
and I go in this place called the Webster
which is like this like
super chic like high end boutique like, high-end boutique.
Like, they sell, like, you know, Prada and shit in there and whatever.
And I was going to look for their candles because I'd heard they're, like, you know,
they make these unique candles and they're good and whatever.
But, like, I'm just coming off the beach and there's this guy.
He's, like, the doorman, right?
Yeah.
And I walk up and I could tell this motherfucker was like
hesitant to let me in and i know this because i once got kicked out of the air mess store in
las vegas for not wearing a jacket like you had at the time you had to wear like a blazer to go
in there like you had to be properly turned out and i wasn't and so like i went in and they like
turned me away you know i was like you you know whatever sir you're too much of a scrub too much
of a scrub for the high-end boutique so i go in this place you're carrying a bag of raw meat sir
please get out of here sure you don't want to cook it up
because quality so i'm walking in there and within four seconds i instantly know i've made a mistake
this guy's just looking at me with such contempt and like um walk down there and within four seconds i instantly know i've made a mistake but this
guy's just looking at me with such contempt and like i'm walk down there just like start you know
fiddling with a few things trying to plop my eggs at like you know whatever i'm gonna get the fuck
out here nobody acknowledges me like i've waved to like the the girl that's working up front
and she just looked over at me with such contempt and looked down. Oh, my God.
And I know this rubs you hard because you know what it's like to feel good in those places.
Well, I'm like.
You know what I mean?
He'll take you to his fucking tuxedo shop.
Well, go to Atlanta.
Sid Mashburn, they treat you like gold.
They do. They gave me a free bourbon and coffee while I sat there with my ex-girlfriend at the time uh i think the
guy was trying to fuck her probably has now i was like go for it have at it i'm miserable
please please i'm begging you so uh so you know i'm in there and then i'm just like i see this the dhl like the delivery guy that
drops her packages off he like comes up on the elevator there's an elevator in this motherfucker
i'm like i know what i'm gonna do i'm just gonna follow this guy out and when i walked out i just
said to the doorman thank you and he did not look at me did not acknowledge me any of that shit damn did you
just you should just spit on the floor well i want to encourage anybody if anybody is miami
listeners i will pay you i'm telling you i will pay you 100 in american cash if you go spray paint
a dick on the door of the fucking labster in miami i swear to God I will. I will PayPal you today if you go vandalize that fucking store.
What?
What has...
What's funny is
we drag people for
for dragging
retail
workers. But this
is next level. They've been trained.
Here's the shit. They're class traders.
And that's why I was thinking like, motherfucker, I know you're not making more than $13 an hour to open here's the shit they're class traders and that's why i was thinking like motherfucker i know you're not making more than 13 an hour to open this fucking
door class traders you're you know what i mean yeah yeah like if i worked at the webster somebody
comes in there i'd be like oh hey here we'll take a candle too take a fucking uh fucking six hundred
dollars selene blouse while you're at it right you know what i mean while we're on class traders i um discovered
well i hate to say discovery i'm trying to not use that word ever again it's just so columbus
discovery discovered something what you did that is hilarious when i hear a man say when i hear a
man say you know what i've just discovered as if he is the first to discover it. Yes. And I'm like,
okay. This is a new problematic
I've not heard of yet. But it
makes total sense. It rings to me and I'm like,
oh my god, really? You think you
discovered this? Anywho.
I saw, I was in Pikeville
this week and in an empty parking lot,
there's like a little building, nothing's ever in the parking lot.
They've covered the building with no yard sale
signs. Now why? Why why the fuck there's an empty parking lot can people not
have a motherfucking yard sale that's insane class traders yeah that's probably yeah when you've
turned on yard sales there's no going back no there's no going back fuck you i'm glad y'all
brought up class traders because this is literally exactly what i wanted to this is so funny this is what not even planned this is exactly what i wanted to read to y'all brought up Clash Traders because this is literally exactly what I wanted to. This is so funny.
This is not even planned.
This is exactly what I wanted to read to y'all.
Well, let's just wrap this up and say I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Tom.
You deserve better than that.
It was just slack.
You know what I'm saying?
And I ended up CL Boutique.
Sorry, Tom.
You should have went in there and been like, I have a podcast, you motherfuckers.
You don't know who I am.
Go ask Crit Rawlins down there at Critton's Men's Store in Lexington.
That's my first thought.
I was like.
That's all I'm going to say.
That's all I'm going to say. Like, you know, I was interested in that shit and have met and had relationships with people
that are like real ass motherfuckers and like, and you know, all that shit is bourgeois bullshit
really.
In men's fashion.
But they're all like, you know, sweet people.
I mean, probably horrible politics, but, like, sweet people.
But, like, the real poser motherfuckers that aren't shit are the ones that, like, buy into
all that, like, the aesthetic of, like, snobbery and shit.
Like, I hate to break this to y'all, but if you're really into, like, high fashion and
to Balenciaga and all that shit, you know what?
Like, fuck you.
It's wasteful.
It's killing the world.
There's planned obsolescence.
You can wear that shit
for like eight minutes
before they turn their nose up at it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, this is,
I don't know anything about fashion, really.
You're my in.
Yeah.
On that note,
I had this idea.
They've taken Gianni Versace's mansion,
which is right beside this place I went into,
and they've turned it into a restaurant bar.
Really?
Yeah, like the Versace mansion.
And I was trying to get Alex to let me lay down on the concrete
like when he was murdered and take a picture.
I'll show you what I did.
What?
That's hilarious.
I was like, you be Andrew Cunanan, and I'll be Gianni Versace.
Oh, my God.
Didn't you also, so you had told me, though, that you had some interactions with some,
like, maybe Venezuelan expats?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In Miami?
Yeah.
Like, racially.
Varying degrees, yeah.
Yeah.
And you happened to be there while a failed coup was going on.
While a failed coup has gone on and i haven't even told you about
the ultimate uh my cuban cab driver that had told me the most fantastical stories you could imagine
wow you just kept changing your destination to keep riding with it i wanted to it was so good
because it was such bullshit it was so fucking fucking funny. Basically, Cubans are the Italians of South Florida.
Like the New York City Guido voice people.
Yeah, yeah.
And also, like, so I'll tell you.
So, like, we got in the car and out in front of our hotel,
one of the Marley brothers, I don't know which one,
was shooting a video in front of our hotel.
Like Bob Marley?
I don't know if it was Ziggy or Steven or Damien.
You know, there's like a million of them.
So one of them was out there shooting a video.
Because like the people.
That's tight.
Yeah.
So they're out there and like they're taking these pictures of this old like
Yank Tank, like one of the old 50s cars like they have in Cuba.
Yeah.
And the cab driver picks us up.
And I didn't even know he was like Cuban really
because he had like kind of a Boston accent,
which made sense because he had grown up in Boston
and born in Cuba and all that stuff.
So we're pulling out.
And you know how sometimes people bait you
into conversation a little bit.
He looks over at that car that they're using.
He goes, drove a lot of those when I was growing up.
And so I'm like oh yeah so yeah you grew up in cuba huh he's like yeah yeah yeah i've had uh i've had an
interesting life and so i look over at alex and i'm like buckle up because let me show you a few
of my babies and i thought he's gonna show me his kids
and now he's showing me his cars oh hell yeah and he had like this and a lot of this shit looks like
he just like like screenshotted somebody's facebook page or something so who knows if it's
even true yeah because you can lie to anybody it doesn't fucking matter no i did that when i was
in austin a few weekends ago i mean well you know people like what do you do like oh you know i have a podcast called pod pod save america i have to
go to a baby shower tomorrow and i've already started thinking up the lies i'm gonna tell
you that's the funniest you can just be anybody you want to be well i just know they're gonna
try like i'm the i'm the i'm the red that's gonna come in like they already know and they're going to try. Like, I'm the red that's going to come in. Like, they already know.
I'm sure there's going to be a president question,
who I'm supporting for president or some shit.
I'm going to tell them Hillary.
I'm going to say, Hillary's still going to run.
I'm like, Hillary's coming in.
Life's a party, and it's just a party party.
Oh, my God.
It's the party party.
Isn't that what this party was called?
I mean, that's basically this podcast.
Life's a party. Isn't that what his party was called? I mean, that's basically this podcast. Life's your party.
Anyways.
Traditionally.
Continue, continue, Tom.
What were you saying?
So this guy, you know, we're riding along, and he said, yeah, he said, you know,
and mind you, this guy went from quoting Medgar Evers to saying the N-word in like 12 seconds.
And he's Cuban?
And he's Cuban, yeah.
And he was quick to tell you that he was white.
Like a lot of Cubans do.
Like they're quick to tell you like, no, I'm pure Spanish.
And it's like, no, fuck you're not.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like there's just very weird like race shit.
Anyway.
So we're going along and he's, you know, he's talking and showing me his cars.
And he goes, yeah, he said, I've made a fortune and lost it three different times.
And you ever notice.
That's a very Tom Sexton's tale, honestly.
Yeah, this is true.
I've never made a fortune.
I've made a lot of money one time.
So anyway, this guy's going on he says uh yeah so i tried to like kind of chat him up because i
realized he's kind of one of those conservative like like miami like you know i won't say rich
because he was probably driving i mean i believe that he probably had a lot of money and went broke
like i believe that part of his story but there's some some some details in there that don't quite
jive for one he said that when they fled cuba that his dad stole one of Fidel Castro's boats.
Now, mind you, this guy's just led an armed communist revolution,
and you're just going to go and steal one of this guy's boats.
Right.
That didn't happen.
That didn't happen.
Camilla Harris dropping a loose one.
Yeah, yeah, this. Camilla Harris dropping a loose one. Yeah, yeah.
This is Camilla Harris shit.
This is like smoking.
For sure.
It's a Snoop Dogg in the 80s.
So he was like, you know, he stole one of Castro's boats.
And he said, and what was funny about it in the hallmark of a bullshit is when they overplay their hand.
He was like, right over there is where we pulled up at.
Just so happened to be along the route that we were going. Right over there is where we pulled up at. Just so happened to be along the route that we were going.
Right over there.
He said, my dad stood there and used to watch us play on that beach when we were kids.
Oh, my God.
All this shit.
And he goes, yeah, he's like, man, racism is weird.
He's like, you know that line in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci's like, prejudice against Italians.
Can you fucking believe it?
Yeah, yeah. That's what he said. He was's like, prejudice against Italians, can you fucking believe it? Yeah, yeah.
That's what he said.
He was like, prejudice against Cubans, can you fucking believe it?
Like, you know, he's talking all this shit.
Then he was like, yeah, in the 70s and 80s, I had this bar near Berry College,
which used to be like an all-women's college,
and now it's co-ed.
And I forget what it was called,
but he's like, it was the hottest spot in Miami.
So Alex texts her aunt,
who grew up in Miami,
and went to Berry College,
just ironically.
Interesting.
And said,
have you ever heard of this place?
And she goes,
no.
No, nobody's ever,
no.
He goes,
yeah, you can look it up,
go look it up.
Couldn't find anything.
Just fact checking him on the spot.
On the spot.
He's like,
oh, well,
it was in the 70s and 80s,
so maybe it's gone away by now fact checking him on the spot. On the spot. He's like, oh, well, it was in the 70s and 80s, so maybe it's gone away by now.
No record on the internet.
So he gets into telling us about how he,
his,
his,
he smuggled weed and all this shit.
And I was like,
that sounds like Scarface.
He's telling you plot lines.
Plot lines for Scarface and shit.
And then,
he's like,
I've got some infinity stones you're like he's basically
turned cabbing into a tour guide service and he's like um yeah and he's like uh i was he was like
two steps away from trying to sell us herbal life or something but he was like um telling us all
these stories about growing up in boston he was like i was the only white kid in boston that spoke
spanish in this neighborhood and it was just tough. But then he would tell us
like these hardscrabble stories about how his
dad like owned a mango farm in Cuba
and like they were really wealthy.
And that son of a bitch Castro
took their mango farm but we took all of our money
to the states and all this shit.
And where
it gets really thick is where he told us that
that
me and one of my partners, Manny,
he said we came to this country together.
The story just changed like 12 times in the cab.
He said we went to buy this boat because we were going to start this fishing business.
And he said fishing.
Was he implying they were smuggling drugs?
And he kept reiterating the whole time that he was writing this book about his life called,
we're going to call it The Old Smuggler.
I'm surprised he didn't at some point say he knew Scott Storch.
Or is that coming?
Hold on.
Fuck what?
He didn't say that.
But he said, so me and Manny went to buy this fishing boat.
And he said, and wouldn't you know it, it was that same boat my dad stole off Fidel Castro.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Swear to God.
And he bought it back.
Oh, fucking God.
And he bought it back.
And he said, of the things that I have, he said, it's the number one thing I won't let go.
And then he showed me, he said, I also had another famous boat.
And I was like, oh, yeah.
And you know, like, you ever watch Scarface?
It's been so long.
Well, you know, like, the first few minutes where they're showing, like, real shots from the Mario boat lift in the 80s?
He showed us the boat from Scarface.
He said it's been on Scarface.
It's been on National Geographic.
And it was called something,. I forget. Whatever.
Well, the funny thing is
is like you
if I was in his position, I would
100% be telling lies like this.
Of course. Because there's no
like, look
that's one of the things that kind of sucks
about living in the time we live now because
as you're getting this story
you know, Alex is like checking to make sure that the story is true.
It's almost kind of just fun to just let it go.
Just be like, all right, well, it's probably not true, but fuck it.
Well, it was interesting, but that's not even the best one.
The best one is when we got the Uber driver that was ex-CIA.
Oh, see, there's a lot of people who do you know there's that story in
new york mag or whatever i was talking it's like all the it's all the talk right now on twitter
about the sarah sarah lawrence girls the sex call yeah the set yeah well that guy said he was xcia
every like every person who's like conning somebody else it says they're xcia ex-military
they're always stealing
valor you know because that's supposed to be the criminal crop like yeah i guess it's the ultimate
sort of like the most skilled manipulator yes yeah yeah well and it also sort of verifies your
credentials as someone who can be trusted i feel like like oh i went through basic training
motherfucker well i went through training on how to lie.
So you can definitely trust me.
Like, I can lie for the best of them, so trust me.
Yeah.
Well, when I lived in Vegas, my roommate Joanne, her dad was, like, from mainland China.
And was, like, this character that, like, she said that he's XCIA.
But I feel like that's just something, like, that he told her.
And I guess it turned out that he was just like a firework,
made all of his money in fireworks or something.
I don't.
But that's like a common line.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a friend whose dad is from Ghana
and who also was a CIA operative too.
So I don't know.
Scare quotes, right?
Yeah.
Who was also a CIA operative. And So I don't know, maybe that's... Scare quotes, right? Yeah. Who was also a CIA operative.
And this,
you know what?
This guy,
the Cuban liar dude,
his dad was a CIA,
but that's probably true.
They probably,
he was probably trying
to assassinate Castro.
That's true.
He goes,
so I smuggled,
you know,
for money.
My dad did it for patriotism.
Shut the fuck up.
Oh, fuck. the the cop guy was it was funny because he was like telling us stuff that was word for word from narcos and then at the end we pull up to the restaurant we were going to and he
goes he goes um he was talking about his work in Mexico City and all this stuff.
In the CIA.
Yeah, in the CIA.
And, like, literally I've seen, like, Narcos Mexico, and it's like two on the nose, you know.
And we pull up to the restaurant, and he goes, I'll tell you what can solve all those problems down there.
He said, and nobody wants to hear it, and I knew what was coming.
He goes, build the wall. He he said that would help those people and i was like i said dude oh i
didn't say this alex kind of went in on him and i was just like oh yeah you know i was getting ready
to get out and uh alex was going dead on it and he was like you know nobody wants to hear that
and in my mind i'm like you dumb bastard like people do wants to hear that. And in my mind, I'm like, you dumb bastard. Like, people do want to hear that.
That's one thing I hate about conservative.
Nobody wants to hear these hard truths they got.
Actually, your guy won.
So, yeah, there's a lot of motherfuckers out here that want to hear this shit, actually.
You know what I mean?
They can't handle not being the underdog.
It's like a part of their identity.
They're desperate.
They have to position themselves the preeminent aggrieved minority group yeah yeah which is very fascinating i mean it just
goes to show you how truly grim reality is at this point that it is so easy to just watch six
seasons of something and create your own bullshit actually convince probably even yourself that it's the
truth that this is your reality you know what i mean like just reality is so grim that it's like
you know what i'm just gonna adopt this identity i've i've been consumed with everybody's got such
a tenuous grip on reality anyway that they're just like like like we you know we make fun of
people that like swear up and down their native Americans and stuff. But, like, they probably actually believe that.
They literally believe that.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
They believe that their uncle or whatever was swapped by European settlers in 1984.
My Aunt Sharon left Thanksgiving dinner crying when I was a kid because of a fight over Pocahontas
between her and my uncle.
That's the God's honest truth.
What's wrong?
What's wrong with that? I i don't know i don't know
the sources like she stomped off saying like he was being disrespectful or something yeah
oh you know what's really funny on that note is what um someone had tagged us on twitter like
uh i got my and shout out to this person i can't remember her name i'm really sorry um
i haven't really been on Twitter a lot lately.
I just saw it in passing.
She was like, we got our 23andMe results back.
Oh, Jennifer.
Yeah, and he was like, guess what?
No Native American ever.
And that was whatever.
But then someone hopped in the comment afterwards and was like, I also did a DNA test.
And it turns out my biological father's not really my father.
And then she wrote a book about it and was trying to peddle it.
Yeah, yeah.
In my self-published deals.
In my comments, yeah.
It was really bizarre.
Why were we tagged in this?
No, Jennifer had just added us on it.
But then this weird person that wrote a book just came in behind her.
About how her dad wasn't really her dad.
That's pretty funny.
Well, okay.
So, all right.
So, I know we're at almost an hour, but I do want to just go through this article real fast.
Because I think you need to hear it.
Back to class traitors.
Back to class traitors.
But it also goes hand in hand with...
Really our favorite topic.
It's class traitors, but it also goes hand in hand with constantly suppressing a part of yourself and elevating another part of yourself to whatever is sort of socially convenient at the time.
Yeah.
So this article is in the New York Times.
It's written by Rachel Sherman, author of Uneasy Street, The Anxieties of Affluence.
The article is called the rich kid revolutionaries
oh i can't wait for this i can't help but just i just wish that i can be around
post-apocalypse or whatever when people are trying to learn what they can about civilization
from new york magazine new york times from the new york times yeah yeah
they're like wow um children of privilege like abigail disney are taking a moral stand against
inequality okay it's like resource generation yeah that's exactly what this is you know about this
interesting tell us about resource generation tanya and how do you know about it
a girl i used to work with went up to work for them in new york holy shit
wow all right now we have at least one donor from there
no shit so it should be we should walk softly here no sorry no we're not walking softly no
these motherfuckers it's if if they say if they believe what they say they believe, then they need to hear this.
They need to hear this.
Is it Resource Generation that says it?
Yeah, no, this is an article about Resource Generation.
Okay, you all know who Resource Generation, it's Farhad.
Oh, interesting.
Farhad is Resource Generation.
This is hilarious.
It makes so much sense now.
You all know plenty of these motherfuckers.
Okay, keep going.
This country is rigged in favor of making the very wealthy wealthy even wealthier that's what democrats keep saying on the 2020
campaign trail and it's what some of the people who have reaped the rewards of this rigged system
think too abigail disney granddaughter of roy disney is one recent high profile example oh yeah
she was the one that was like made the video that was like guess guess what? I paid no taxes this year.
Doesn't that piss you off?
Oh, I did see that.
Yeah.
Isn't that terrible?
She was trying to be the cool billionaire.
Yeah, she's like, I want to pay taxes.
So this is what it's talking about.
On Tuesday, she called out the naked indecency
of the $65 million in compensation
that goes to Disney's chief executive, Bob Igor,
or Bob Iger.
That figure, she noted,
is 1,424 times the median pay of a Disney worker.
A growing number of privileged young people,
a generation younger than Miss Disney,
are also questioning the morality of their advantages
and the social arrangements that produce them.
Many are involved with resource generation,
an organization for people under 35 who are in the top 10%
through their own or their family's income and wealth.
Most likely their families.
I can't.
I knew it.
I knew it right off the bat.
So I went to the website of Resource Generation,
and right off the bat, I was just amazed.
Absolutely amazed.
They feature such articles as
Eight Things I Learned About Wealth Inequality
in Organizing Young We young wealthy people in 2018.
I'm affluent, youngish and progressive.
So how much money should I be giving away?
And other such articles.
The research generation is basically a cult for really, really rich people who feel bad about that.
And definitely guilt and shame driven philanthropy.
Yeah, it's guilt.
It's guilt and shame driven philanthropy. And's guilt it's guilt and shame driven
philanthropy and it's completely focused on the individual it has nothing to do with collect even
though they would disagree they would be like no we're we we want social justice and they spend a
lot of money just on training like retreats retreats with one another yes to unlearn their
fascism or whatever no no look uh hold on all
right hold on hold on hold on they're trying to they're trying to unlearn their shittiness
rather honestly tom started to look like he was coming unglued thinking about this look look
listen rather than repeat family myths about the individual effort and smarts of their forebearers
those from wealthy backgrounds tell quote money stories that highlight the more complicated
origins of their family's assets if their fortunes came from the direct disposition of indigenous
peoples enslavement of african americans production of fossil fuels or obvious exploitation of workers
obvious exploitation where else would it have come from they often express especially acute guilt
as a woman in her early 20s told me
of the wealth generated by her family's global business it's not just that i get fun money
without working it's that other people work to make me money and don't get nearly as much as
themselves i find it to be morally repugnant here let me just and just kind of chime in here a little
bit here's here's here's like look i know that like you know
companies have their board of directors and all this kind of stuff but if you're sitting on the
goddamn disney fortune don't you think your dumb ass has a say like you could fix that fucking
yesterday anytime you choose to you could fix that you have life-changing money that could change
not only a couple people's lives like like this fucking, every poor person in this goddamn state and probably Tennessee and Virginia's too.
Even then, even then, I don't even agree with that as the way to fixing the world's ills.
There's literally nothing that you can do with this.
Look, the only way to solve any of these problems is through like mass militant action.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, no no no no i'm not saying like
the mechanisms i'm just saying the amount of money she could immediately just be like okay
every day workers if you felt that goddamn bad about it you could at least do something or
something well i'm saying that that kind of thinking is exactly what resource generation
is for it's for people who feel
guilty about their wealth and want to use their wealth to make the world a better place and i'm
sorry but that's just not how you change things how you change things is through a revolt of the
proletariat i agree with you what i'm trying to say is that that money is not doing anything more
for them that it couldn't be doing for whoever's right the problem is they what they're not doing anything more for them that it couldn't be doing for whoever's... Right, the problem is they,
what they're not doing is admitting
that that's not their money.
Yeah, well, they kind of are, though.
Like, this is the thing.
Like, this whole sort of cult is...
This is different from the philanthropist
that's just, like, wants to put money into...
These people feel like they have a moral imperative
to redistribute their ill-gotten gain
to the less fortunate.
Which still, also, as we know,
ends up looking exactly like the other kind of philanthropy.
They distinguish themselves from liberal philanthropy.
They're sort of social justice philanthropy.
They get it.
They get it.
Their money's going to the right place.
They're discussing slavery.
That's really what it is. that's really it um in general these young people don't believe they are entitled to so much when others have so little many describe feeling guilt or shame about their
privilege which often leads them to hide it one college student a woman of color told me that
she worried what other campus activists might think of her. What a fraud,
right, she said, to be in those spaces and be
acting like these are my struggles when they're not.
A white woman who lives on her inheritance of
more than $15 million spoke of
deflecting questions about her occupation
so that others would not know
she did not work for pay.
These progressive
children of privilege told me they study
the history of racial capitalism in
the united states racial capitalism racial capitalism and what fucking capitalism is not
racial well this is uh this is what i've discovered is a sort of like more woke um attempt to cast
capitalism as uh strictly a race all right what do you mean yeah i guess so maybe well i don't know
i've seen this lately and i don't know if i i don't know what i think about this yet so i'm
just gonna throw it out there but i've seen lately a sort of rise in thinking about capitalism as
something that began with racial slavery and not as something that begat slavery yes not not
something that slavery grew out of as a function of it.
Of it, yeah.
As a sort of rapid accumulation of resources and wealth.
They think there was slavery and then that begat capitalism.
It's a chicken and the egg.
See, I don't agree.
I don't agree with that at all.
I think capitalism began in maybe like the 16th century or 17th century,
which was well before there was racial slavery.
Anyways, I don't know. that's a whole other episode um but what a way to
i'm trying to think about the actual fallout of blaming slavery for capitalism
well for them it sounds like well for them it it accomplishes several things
at once it it checks off the white privilege guilt and the class privilege guilt you know
what i'm saying so that if they're thinking about it then then that's really all that matters
like listen to this i see what you're saying. This is really, they're doing philanthropy, but only as a mechanism to assuage their guilt, really.
Listen to this part.
These progressive children of privilege told me they studied the history of racial capitalism in the U.S.
and discussed the ways traditional philanthropy tends to keep powerful people at the top.
And by traditional philanthropy, they mean liberal philanthropy.
They also spend a fair amount of time talking about their money.
Should they give it all away?
Should they get a job even if they
don't need the income? How much is it ethical
to spend on themselves or others?
How does money shape friendships and relationships?
Resource Generation and its members
facilitate these conversations, including
one local chapter's, quote, feelings
caucus.
I wish y'all could
stop and look on Tanya's face just there.
I've never seen eyes roll in the back of her head like that.
So, let's see.
Okay, there's a part.
I just want to sort of skip here to the end.
Oh, okay, here we go.
Okay.
As Holly Fetter, a resource generation member in
harvard business school student told me it's essential that those of us who have access to
wealth and want to use it to support progressive social movements speak up to challenge the
narrative that the one percent are only interested in accumulation and invite others to join us
so as you can see this this this They're defending the 1%. Basically –
We're not all bad.
Yes, that's basically it.
It's basically the sort of –
Letting them off the hook.
It's the narrative thing.
It's the sort of like we've got to change the narrative, folks.
We've got to shift the narrative.
The 1%, there's progressive among us.
And then here's where the author jumps in.
Wealthy people are more likely to convince other wealthy people that the system is unfair. And they are the only ones who can describe
intimately the ways that wealth may be emotionally
corrosive, producing fear, shame, and
isolation. Psst. Psst.
Psst. Psst.
Most rich people are sociopaths and therefore
don't have a mechanism in their brains
to actually feel guilt or remorse about that.
You know what resource generation needs to do?
They need to pay off all student loans.
All student debt. What they need to do is disband and fucking buy AR-15s and start training the paramilitary
if they're serious about it.
Build a billion dollar fucking paramilitary organization to go kill their fellow classmates.
I am not exaggerating when I say that's literally what they should be doing because it would
actually change something rather than this shit.
I see what you're going for.
They should go start tearing down the wall as it's built right behind it.
No, they think that like –
They'd make the class trade but with extreme prejudice.
They think that being a class trader means having some sort of ideological flip switched in your brain that then turns you into a sort of missionary to your other fellow rich people.
And all you got to do is convince them that wealth is bad.
And if you convince enough of them, then capitalism will just disappear and go away.
Or not even that or just get nicer.
This is the problem.
This is a huge problem I see in social justice spaces when people assume that all that all injustice is is a result of people's sort
of prejudices and all these other things it all comes down to most people think about things in
purely utilitarian measures they think about so for example a rich person thinks about their
wealth in terms of their own continued survival at the in the status quo right and that's why it
would never work to sort of convince them that wealth is bad and that
they should give their money away, whatever.
Yeah.
That's why it would be much more advantageous and useful for them to just fund a paramilitary
and just sort of start breaking down their fucking community walls with tanks.
And I've got the perfect idea who should lead that charge.
George Clooney's sister.
You ever read about George Clooney's sister?
Uh-uh.
So she comes out of the famous Clooney family, obviously,
which were rich before George ever made a movie.
You know what I mean?
Rosemary was a big star in the 50s.
Nick Clooney, George Clooney's dad,
was a big sportscaster, news guy, and all this stuff.
So, you know, she's a child of privilege.
But she works at a Kohl's in, like, Maysville.
So is she a class trader? So I think she's class trading a little bit so i think my thing is we should go
get george clooney's sister to head this up you know what i'm saying sure i'm with you on this
she works at the coles for sales no she's like just an employee of coles she's denounced her
family's riches i don't know but
it's it's i think it sounds kind of gross how george treats her though like the fucking the
mental they didn't even invite her to the wedding the gymnastics that these people jump through is
insane class privilege is like white privilege and that its beneficiaries receive advantages that are in fact unearned there's so much in that sentence
a funny byproduct of this is how much they uh to use euros terminology block out for these people
that box out yeah from other organizations like they do not tell these rich people where to give their money and they're very
clear not to tell them how to give out their money only to facilitate their learning yeah it's like
learning tours and you're exactly that's the thing that's the thing about the feelings caucus
that's a it's a feeling it's a byproduct of this bullshit notion that you can educate your way out of anything.
I'm glad we have
brought back our segment, Deeply
Deeply Diseased. Pretty much, yeah. I didn't want to
call it that explicitly because
I'm trying to
phase out the old segments and
get something fresh. Are we rebranding
again?
So for
them to conclude that their own wealth is undeserved and therefore
immoral constitutes a powerful critique of the idea of meritocracy again no it doesn't it doesn't
have shit anyways um systems aren't changed by the rich people at the top like revolutions occur
when basically the sort of bottom strata of the sort of system...
Go kill the rich.
Yes, exactly.
Bottom line, point blank, period.
Yeah, bottom line, point blank.
I don't know how else to put it.
Eat the rich is not just something, you know, you just...
I really wish people would...
This is the thing that people should...
I saw on Facebook this week a guy who works at Food City Talking about eating the rich
I'm going to go in there and high five him
That's a comrade
He works in the deli
He could help us grind him up
All you have to do
Who's that one dude from Dead Pundits
That had that dumb ass thread
This week
Something about there
No
All you need is blood lust for the rich thread this week it's like and i was like something about there i said you don't know
no no you don't need all you need is blood lust for the rich yeah that's all it's required that's
all that's required that's all that's required and so for that reason i can get behind bernie
for that i'm for anything that raises class consciousness yeah so if that's what bernie's
doing we need to find a way to channel that yeah. I don't agree with his particular way of doing it,
but if it's raising class consciousness, then whatever.
Anyways, the fact that the system is immoral, of course,
does not make individuals immoral.
One person I spoke with, a white 30-year-old who inherited money,
said, it's not that we're bad people.
It's just nobody needs that much money.
But judgments of systems are often taken as judgments of individuals,
which leads white people to deny racism and rich people to deny class privilege.
So even the less public work of talking through emotions, needs, and relationships,
which can seem self-indulgent, is meaningful.
I guarantee they have entire workshops on how to date poor people.
I will lead it.
I'll lead that workshop workshop buy them lots of
lavish gifts that's so funny i guarantee this comes up in the feelings listen to this listen
listen to this quote as mrs peen put it our feelings are related to the bigger structure.
One huge cultural support of that structure
is secrecy around money
which even rich people
don't talk about.
Which, that's another...
That's another...
These people are dumb
and let me tell you
why they're dumb.
It's because Terrence
is exactly right.
Like, they need to
pull their resources
and bring a paramilitary group
and go kill
other rich people
and whatever.
You mean to tell you
why they're stupid?
It's because that's what
other rich people are doing
by, you know,
having the police
for example.
You're exactly right.
And that's how they
managed to stay in power.
That is exactly right.
So if you really had
any, like,
real compunction
to do anything
other than just fucking
come up with these
dumbass words,
go start your own violent organization. Other rich people are investing. They're giving their money like, real compunction to do anything other than just fucking come up with these dumbass words.
Go start your own violent organization. Yeah, other rich people are investing.
They're giving their money to candidates
and, you know, fraternal orders of police
and candidates who will send all of the nation's resources
into the military.
Exactly, in the police state.
And they think giving $100,000 to Scare Club
is going to rid them of all of their...
No, that's seriously...
It's going to change the world.
These people need to read about the Chinese Communist Revolution
because a lot of those guys were children of privilege.
And they were like,
okay, the only thing that's going to change this is an armed revolution.
And that's what they did do.
They used their wealth to basically create
this this is all funneled through the sort of non-profit way of dealing with things which is
you your role as an individual you know your feelings your sort of emotions having conversations
having workshops literally to pass the buck it And the time. It's the stall.
It's the run the fucking clock out.
Yeah, run the clock out.
Yeah, that's what they're doing.
The death clock.
Oh, that's what they're doing.
Speaking of the death clock, I'm being summoned to work.
You gotta go to work.
I gotta go to work.
I can see you putting your shoes on.
I was already moving toward the door while you were talking.
All right, all right, all right.
Well, let me just do this last...
Speaking of death clocks. Let me just do this last... Speaking of death calls...
Let me just do this last...
Gotta get back to mine.
Okay.
Parents and the financial professionals
who manage family wealth also...
No, no, no, I don't want to read that part.
Talking about how it feels to be rich
can help build affordable housing, though.
Once the feeling of being a, quote, bad person
is replaced by, quote quote good person in a
bad structure these young people can move into redistributive action many talked about asserting
control over their money pursuing socially responsible investments sometimes for much
lower returns and increasing their own or their family's giving especially to social justice oh this is fun we invest in in solar structural mining like mining solar resources versus
and we have slightly less returns that's why kate wagner made a good point it's like even if you
want to do solar or whatever you're still like got conflict man i don't want to go into all that people are dying because and here's the kicker here's the
kicker and this is and this is what i think the main point of resource generation is in this whole
approach to whatever it is and eventually like the people i have quoted by name here they take a
public stand so again it's all about narrative it's all about using your narrative to change the narrative
it's all about using your personal story to change the narrative and and just being seen as a good
rich person as a class traitor or whatever they're making buzzfeed articles about tax returns pretty
much i just want to tell these people what a sacrifice again i want to tell these people if
you're not if you're not comfortable with violence and starting your own paramilitary,
at least give yourself up to something bigger than yourself.
Get the fuck over yourself.
Join, even DSA would be fine.
Whatever.
Join some sort of communist socialist organization and give up a part of yourself to something bigger.
Because otherwise, capitalism's not going to end by talking about your feelings. And I want to tell you something. a part of yourself to something bigger because otherwise capitalism
is not going to end by talking about your feelings
and I'm going to tell you something you don't have a
fucking thing to teach us no you don't have a
fuck exactly
I'd like to work out an exchange
with one of these generous people
who wear a size 18
dress and a size 10
shoe that will send me all
of their lightly worn designer clothes.
That's my request.
Size 10?
Dogs.
Paddles. Get you down the river.
Well, before we disband here,
who's
your derby horses?
I never know what's going on with derby.
I'm going to be in a shower, at a baby shower.
It's not even Derby themed.
This year my girlfriend told me we can't celebrate Derby because she doesn't like it.
It's problematic.
I know it's problematic, but it's cultural.
You know what?
Eating bacon's problematic too.
I like reading the names.
I saw the top ones out or something.
Hard Spun, Smarty Jones. Omaha.
Secretariat.
Candy Ride.
Ain't Omaha out?
Bodemeister.
Nyquist.
Mind That Bird.
Dude, let me tell you a story about Mind That Bird.
Mind That Bird's from New Mexico.
Is it Mind That Bird in last year?
No, that was several years ago.
That's mine.
Let me tell you the story.
I'm rooting for Mind That Bird.
The people that own Mind That Bird also own a peanut farm near Roswell.
Oh, wow. You told me this story. my friend nick craft worked on that peanut and didn't he cuck the farmer he fucked
the guy's wife he got caught fucking the main dude's wife and let me tell you what he did let
me tell you what he did he didn't know that he had saw them and i guess she didn't know either so the guy calls nick the next day
says here i need you right out with me to get some feed or whatever for the whatever they
had out there the cookie the cuckold not the cuck both the cucker and the the cucked went out
he said nick said i got i gotten his to do and i thought you know nothing was whatever
and he said we've been fucking for like four months so like i thought you know nothing you
know he's none the wiser he said that he drove nick out to the edge of his property and he said
the whole time he kept his poker face had like was having conversation with him about like you
know just the normal shit they would talk about and nick said that he was looking out the window and he said when his face turned around he said
there was a double barrel shotgun in my cheek and said if you're here tomorrow i'll blow your
fucking head off all for fucking his wife and put him out of the truck at the edge of the property
let him get his shit or nothing well let that be he was in roswell new mexico on the fucking edge of a
goddamn peanut farm had to go walk to a gas station i have an aunt that lives in roswell
and it is bleak my friend um i didn't know you could grow fucking peanuts in new mexico oh yeah
you can you can grow peanuts in pretty like dry air conditions yeah um uh so okay so let that be
lesson to all of you.
Imagine you're sitting in a passenger seat and you look over and the Trillbillies are holding a shotgun to your head saying,
Go to our Patreon.
If you don't subscribe to our Patreon...
We're going to sick our paramilitary army.
We're going to sick our new paramilitary army.
Funded by Resource Generation.
Yeah, please go to our Patreon, P-A-t-r-e-o-n.com
slash triple d workers party what sorry i didn't mean to snap this is you know i kind of want to
bring back the yes men for shit like this and us put out try to get like a legit press release out
and a new story that resource generation has created a paramilitary a leftist paramilitary
and make them have to backtrack it.
No, no, we're not doing that.
We're not going to do that.
We're going to have a New York Magazine article
that's going to be like,
no, basically we're the Hamas of the non-profit world.
Hezbollah.
And make them have to be like,
no, no, no, no, no.
I don't know who would have said such a thing.
Can that be the new Trillbillies?
Season four?
Is that just...
Let's do that.
Changing the narrative.
We're going to change the narrative.
You should change the narrative by going to our Patreon.
So please go support us there.
Send me your old designer handbags.
Send Tanya your designer handbags.
And also, seriously, if you can show me a photo of you having spray painted the dick on the Webster in South Beach, Miami,
I'll send you $100 on PayPal.
It's no lie.
And so then we'll see you in the funny papers.
You've spent $100 a lot worse.