Trillbilly Worker's Party - UNLOCKED: Hillbilly Butterfly Effect

Episode Date: April 2, 2019

In honor of Jamal Khoshoggi's children getting a huge pay out from the Saudi government as compensation for having their father dismembered, we're unlocking our Patreon episode about how Khoshoggi's d...eath had weird repercussions all the way across the world in Kentucky. If you'd like to hear more episodes like this one, like and subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Make sure this is working. Did you see how... Did you see that tweet? Oh, easy cow. Let me get you. Let me get saddled up here. You don't understand. When you...
Starting point is 00:00:17 I just sit here and talk into this microphone all day by myself until people just stop by. Until people show up. People show up and start talking to me. You've got eight hours of audio already. Yeah. Did you see somebody tag the
Starting point is 00:00:33 Tribblies in a tweet that was like wanted now, immediately, oil and gas workers on offshore oil and gas rigs. Your ship's coming in, man. Did you see that? Yeah. Isn't that weird? That's okay. Isn't that weird?
Starting point is 00:00:49 Do you think that means that people listen to the show? Because on the last episode, I said something about how I was going to get a job on an offshore oil and gas rig. Could be one of those things like, you know, like if you look at one of those shops, it's something you was looking at and it pops back up on your Instagram.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Do what? Yeah, those are yours. Maybe they heard the phrase. I've been using them. They're great headphones. God, that's a great sweatshirt, Tanya. I just heard you say the phrase disgustingly hetero outside. I was doing an interview with a journalist about 66 head okay
Starting point is 00:01:27 disgustingly hit her i thought i heard emotionally immature too yeah you didn't hear that well the problem was walking up your fucking steps made me lose every uh vocabulary word i ever had i should have said deeply diseased. Heteronormative bullshit. When in doubt, go with deeply diseased. Oh, my God. That's pretty funny. I'd give you a healthy amount of money for that sweatshirt. Okay, well, make me an offer. I'll get to you right now.
Starting point is 00:01:57 You might offer me money for the shirt under it, too. What do you say? It's a good and two. You can keep that one. You can keep that one. You can keep that one. PTSD response. The OG Summit City t-shirt. Can't get that one no more.
Starting point is 00:02:14 It says something on there like, ain't it funny how places like this bring us together. Just brings people together. Ain't it funny how places like this just bring people together. Ain't it funny how places like this just bring people together. It's more like, ain't it funny how places like this ruin our lives and our lives. Take our money and... Start drawing. Exploited my labor for, you know, two and a half good years.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Take our money and self-confidence. Tom's drunk. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, shit. I thought that was So how Yeah how was that interview
Starting point is 00:02:47 What was that about It went good It was for Yes Magazine It was Oh really Yes Queen Magazine Yes Queen Magazine I think it
Starting point is 00:02:54 Uh Uh Supposed to be about Rural Sex ed I think Oh really I got a little Rural sex ed tale
Starting point is 00:03:03 For everybody out there oh good i just thought because i'm writing this piece about my hypochondria and like my formative experiences with hypochondria like inextricably linked with my sexuality or my psychosexual repression however you want to slice it but uh sex ed in eastern kentucky is taught by people that you know that shouldn't be teaching sex ed anywhere shouldn't be around children shouldn't be shouldn't be allowed in the goddamn ball pit at mcdonald's much less uh fucking teaching kids about their privates right uh privates that's a problem so just using the word privates is that problematic well it's just
Starting point is 00:03:47 did you rather make them public you're fucking sick of it's just language that's centered around shame oh publics then start saying publics instead of private so hey it's on record here for children showing their dicks off. So, my sex ed teachers when I was coming up were two choir directors from the First Baptist Church. And this Christian magician, I think his name was Hank the Great.
Starting point is 00:04:21 You're not making this up. No, I swear. Hank's go-to move, I swear to God, Hank's go-to move i swear to god hank's go-to moves he'd get a ketchup bottle like a glass like heinz like old school ketchup bottle yeah yeah and he'd unroll a condom like on the like the throat of the bottle and then he'd wad it up like wad up the ketchup bottle with the condom like it was paper and just toss it in the wastebasket. I don't... What? He's a magician. Oh, he's a magician. Yeah, he's a Christian magician.
Starting point is 00:04:49 We're both like, what? Yeah, I was having a hard time. So what was the metaphor he was trying to draw there? Oh, nothing. He would just demonstrate how to put a condom on, then he was just like, oh. And then throw it in the wastebasket. Honestly, that's kind of cool. I'm into that. Yeah, you're not going to be cool until the next part where he goes
Starting point is 00:05:06 and then he would bookend that with telling us about the dangers of dabbling in the occult. How's that connected to sex? Is Hank still cool then? Fuck you, Hank. It's not connected to sex. There's no way to be cool as a magician.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I don't know. Maybe there is. What are your thoughts on magicians? I enjoy drawing the magician tarot cards. It's a good card. It's a good card. It's a great card. But, yeah, I don't know that many real-life magicians. The two that are coming to mind are 50-50 split.
Starting point is 00:05:42 One's pretty cool. One's definitely not. There was this magician guy that used to hang out up at Wiley's. Oh, there's a third one I know. Okay, so you know. And he used to come down during seed time and he would do tricks for everybody. Y'all talking about David Blaine. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:05:56 David Blaine did come to Wattsboro. This is something I've had. Did you know this, Tanya? No. I'm not even showing up on the thing. Yeah, no, you're right here, I think. Talk some more some more talk some more talk some more our last episode that me and tom did was so low people couldn't hear it we fucked it up really no i listened to it it was fine well some of it was low or were you proud of us i think they're just talking about me because i'm i'm a bit of a oh yeah no tom baritone and it sometimes it just gets sometimes so yeah it's well the thing
Starting point is 00:06:27 is is i talk up on the mic and you know yeah tom for you know storytelling purposes you kind of go in and out like this yeah and uh dramatic effect for storytelling purposes yeah wait wait no this episode was fine um i listened to it when i was in hobbs uh but i just wanted to say i've had on my so i have like a running list of like things i want to talk about on the true abilities that go back months and one thing i've had on my list for months now and just keep forgetting to bring up with y'all is david blaine coming here we are because it was a myth i i heard it for years i i thought it was a myth. I heard it for years. I thought it was a myth.
Starting point is 00:07:07 I thought it was an urban legend or something. I did, too. In this case, a rural legend. I mean, I told it for years like it was gospel, but I thought in the back of my mind, there's no way it's true. Is there proof? There is. Oh, there's proof.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Oh. On YouTube. Tom sent it to me. Yeah, yeah. Well, I never thought anything about it. My cousin sent me this out look he goes is this pac-man david pack in this david blaine video i said hey what are you doing looking at david blaine videos at three in the morning fucking what are you fucking 14
Starting point is 00:07:36 and then the second part was yeah it was fucking pac-man yeah really yeah it really like reruns friend yeah yeah yeah the guy who rode down pine mountain on rollerblades backwards on the guardrails you all have not heard the best two pac-man stories though i don't think that's not the best pac-man it's not even close to the best this man was in street magic with david blaine and that's like the eighth most interesting thing that he's ever been a part of. David Blaine, or excuse me, Pac-Man said that
Starting point is 00:08:11 he was the 83 World Pac-Man champion. That's how he got his nickname. And he said that the 83 World Pac-Man championships were held in Louisville. I've never verified this. And he roller skated the whole way there. My hunch is that it's bullshit, but hey, can't rule it out.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Okay. Well, Pac-Man said that he, it was held at this like arcade there, which is, you know, like a little, okay, if they were really some sort of World Pac-Man Championships, I'd think they'd have them like lined up in a coliseum or something. Yeah. Have some spectators or whatever pac-man said that um that uh this guy was there with his his woman and um that he knew that pac-man knew a trick that like on like the eighth level or some shit of pac-man you could just hide pac-man up in the corner
Starting point is 00:09:03 and the ghost would just like couldn't find him so they would just like wander around aimlessly and all this stuff and he said he did he would do it to showboat so he would just put the pac-man up there in the corner and everybody would just get mad at him he said this guy's woman said i'm gonna go over here to the hot dog stand you own anything he said yeah I'll take a hot dog with a little bit of mustard and onion. He said that this guy's woman brought him back a hot dog and was feeding him while he was racking up the score. He goes, she said, hold on, babe, you got a little bit on your lip right there. And wiped the mustard off
Starting point is 00:09:45 right as he broke the world record and then he said that guy that was you know his woman he's so fucking pissed and and uh she said that she told him i'm going home with him tonight he said she said my chest was like a bear skin rug. Oh, my God. That's what he told her? Yeah, so for people listening, this guy looks kind of like Richard Petty. You had a loose definition of what Richard Petty looked like. loose definition of what Richard Petty looked like.
Starting point is 00:10:26 I was thinking he kind of looked like Ernest Scared Stupid was his name. Oh, Varney? Yeah. No. I could get there maybe a little bit, but way too skinny to be. Also a Kentuckian, though. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:10:45 But do you remember the Coca-Cola machines that had the race car drivers on them? Yeah, yeah. He said that he was standing outside one day. Oh my god. And he said he was sitting there posted up and he said
Starting point is 00:11:01 this woman came by but she had big old titties. She said, she looked at that pop machine. And then she did a double take and looked at me. And then she looked back at that pop machine. And then looked at me. She goes, you're, he said before she could get out. I said, ma'am, I don't know who you think I am.
Starting point is 00:11:33 I'm not Richardard petty and then he said that she made him sign her her her titties i said i said i said i said what'd you sign him as he said david h pack that's incredible that's absolutely incredible damn oh god okay so the whole point of this was to get to his eighth most impressive story which was david blaine david blaine well you know like in the mid-2000s like david blaine would like he what he would do is he's pretty exploitative i guess now that you think about it he would go to like poor neighborhoods or poor places and do magic for people um you know and then he would get it on camera people would just be losing it's not like he was going into ceo executive boardrooms and stuff like that like he would go to poor people and do magic for them i thought he kind of was doing the like vacation circuit, like Myrtle Beach style. He was.
Starting point is 00:12:29 You're right. He did do that too. Let me also interject. David Blaine's been canceled. Has he really? Yeah, he's been canceled. What did he do? So if he is, that makes sense that he would be doing that circuit because he's been canceled.
Starting point is 00:12:40 I don't know. I think he was, I don't know if he was accused of assault or some sort of, some sort of me to a bull fence. I forget what it was now. A me to a bull. Have you talked about me too yet in Sexy Sexy? Has that come up yet? Probably.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Yeah. I can imagine that coming up in conversation. Oh. But not much. No. So what did me, what did David Blaine do? I don't know. I forget. I don't know. I have imagine that coming up in conversation. Oh. But not much, no. So what did David Blaine do? I don't know. We don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Well, I do remember. I just want to know what the fuck he did in Wattsburg. Well, he did like car tricks. And, you know, he would. On the street. No, he went out. You know, he went out to. He's like in the holler.
Starting point is 00:13:19 In the holler with like Joe Bug, I think was there. No. Pac-Man. What? Yeah, I swear to it. It's on video. Tom sent it to me. The whole crew's there and he does the one where I think he
Starting point is 00:13:31 draws a card and I think he turns it into a hundred dollar bill or something and gives it to him. He does. You're right. You're right. And Pac-Man says something like I could use more of those or something like that. Yeah he goes you got any more of them oh fuck one time i had brought a group of kfdc people from louisville up to gyms and that
Starting point is 00:13:56 cart the like the magician yeah the magic dude was up there and he freaked them the fuck out like creepy in a creepy way he he had one of them sign a card and then stick it back in the deck and then like did a bunch of stuff with it and it was in his mouth oh yeah yeah he he would always do magic at sea time yeah and that that's where i would spend most of my time at sea time at the magician's table i'd be stoned at the magician's you were you were in a box that he cut in half over and over and over. Exactly. Where's Terrence?
Starting point is 00:14:29 Terrence just in eight pieces. All over the fairgrounds. All my pieces work. I'm like, hey. Your hands are waving. Your head's over here. You're wiggling your toes over here. Are you okay, Terrence? Hey, guys.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Well, you were saying something earlier about magicians. What was your first question about magicians? Well, I don't know. What are your thoughts on them? That was my question. Well, I sort of got ahead of myself here. I think magician, even before the David Blaine thing, I think the first thing when I think about magician is
Starting point is 00:15:07 very me-too-able profession. Yeah, they're like tricksters, manipulators. But all like the dumbest guys that are like internet creeps are into like magicians. Yeah, they've like had to figure out ways to impress people because they weren't able to relate to people on any normal way yeah yeah yeah yeah but it is kind of uh i mean plus there is the old like you know they're always like sawing women in half and stuff and so you know like
Starting point is 00:15:37 there's got to be some kind of fucked up didn't something wild happen to those two brothers didn't they fuck up something they're canceled too i think is there i'm just gonna ask the question is there a working magician alive today that's not been me too i challenge you to find a working magician today that's either not a weird libertarian or has already been me that was who i think you were talking about. Pin. Pin Gillette. Yeah, Pin Taylor. Pin Gillette. Pin Gillette.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Isn't that a... And Taylor is his partner, Pin and Taylor. Oh, right. That's it, yeah. I thought you were talking about Siegfried and Roy. Those aren't magicians. Those are like... That's zoo people, I think.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Circus. Circus. They got eaten by... One of them got fucked up by a tiger. Got mauled. That's karma, baby. That they had known for like... They'd raised it since a kitten.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Yeah, really. And it just like turned on him one day and fucked up just fucked him up that's awful though that's kind of scary karma though for sure yeah for sure nature's rising up against us right i'm here for it the river literally is coming for us yeah it's pretty high have y'all seen videos in knock county today no is that why school's canceled yeah school's out all over the place because of flooding. Highman's Central School's underwater right now. I saw a picture today.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Can I take my shoes off? For sure. I'm sorry. One's already off. Stay a while. Yeah. I just need to get up here a little bit better. Yeah, no, it is flooding pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:17:04 I mean, some meteorologists have predicted, like, 70s level water rise this week. The hardest day is Saturday, and there's already, school's already canceled. I saw that. I saw that. It's already canceled for tomorrow. Now, when you say school's canceled. School's over. It's done.
Starting point is 00:17:22 School's been me, too. You think school's canceled. Yeah time school's been me too you think school's cancelled yeah yeah yeah no I you know flooding is actually you could make the argument that flooding is what
Starting point is 00:17:32 kicked off the war on poverty yeah it was so bad in the late 50s that it was normally multiple people died they were like oh this is fucked up people live in pretty
Starting point is 00:17:43 squalid conditions down here and they get biblical level floods yeah they did you're right yeah so it's a shame they didn't in the 50s connect the flooding with the strip mining then and just nip it in the goddamn bud like connect the flooding the strip mining and the poverty all together like the trifecta well history's brought us to this point sunday morning we're gonna have uh bernie sanders on a goddamn john boat the millionaires and the billionaires they did this with one of those big propellers on the back is that what you mean yeah you shabby conditions look over there it's the millionaires it's the billionaires the best part about all these old videos that people are dragging up about him or
Starting point is 00:18:25 his accent so much better back in the day yeah now he just sounds like an old man yeah yeah yeah his accent is better and his policies and beliefs were actually better more radical back then like if we could elect 1982 bernie i'm here for it for sure for sure um well speaking of interesting uh east kentucky news did y'all see this story about inner blue you know inner blue that we talked about it before on the podcast yeah a bit that solar company or whatever that they wanted to open in pike county did you see the story about, it just came out, Sydney at Apple Shop. My coworker.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah, she made a story about this. Apparently, the major reason why. Wait, hold on a second. I haven't read this yet. I've heard a lot of people talking about it. Is Jamal Khashoggi somehow linked to this company pulling out of Eastern Kentucky? Dude, I. Ding, ding eastern Kentucky. Dude, I...
Starting point is 00:19:26 Ding, ding, ding. Yeah, I was reading it. What the fuck? It's pretty fascinating. The simulation is... I mean, for a couple years, it's been going off the rails. Now it's just like somebody dumped
Starting point is 00:19:42 a goddamn bucket of water on the fucking no panel it's it's it's a pretty funny story because it was just like as i was reading it i was just like picturing like look i don't agree with the whole small business entrepreneur approach to like development or job creation you know i don't we've made that our official right i'm not a capitalist right but at the same time i was reading this story and i almost kind of felt for him in a way it's because it's like like they had problems with the the the site because it was built on a strip job and stuff but the actual straw that broke the camel's back was this guy getting killed on the other side of the world so tell me one person ironically this story is airing right now on wmmt while we're speaking
Starting point is 00:20:35 right okay so uh so the story is this inner blue had secured investment funding from this bank in japan it's called like a i can't remember the exact bank but they had an investment fund called like soft bank investment fund or something like that they had got their money from the saudi government um from muhammad bin salman from the saudi government uh like dr bone saw himself yes so they wanted to develop solar panels in Saudi Arabia. So they gave this bank in Japan, this investment fund, all this money. And then that fund reinvested it into Interblue. Well, once Khashoggi was murdered, then all these companies started pulling out from Saudi investments, including the Japanese bank that had funded Interblue. So then they pulled out their investment to Interblue.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Oh, so the money that was going to Interblue. So then they pulled out their investment to Interblue. Oh, so the money that was going to Interblue was the Saudi money. Yes. And so they were like, oh, we ain't doing it. And it had really nothing to do with the Interblue people.
Starting point is 00:21:34 It was all the Japanese investment fund. Like, they were like, you know, because there's all this political pressure to, like, divest from the Saudis and all this.
Starting point is 00:21:42 And so, like, this guy who she interviews the united states will ever like feel that pressure probably not but this guy who she interviews in the piece is like yeah i i don't even really know what to say it's just like it it's just like this guy halfway across the world just is murdered and we lose 30 million dollars it like i was just like it's just kind of like one of those things it's like as she points out in the piece like jobs are already really scarce here the economy is sort of shrinking de-industrializing and stuff it's just like one of those things it's just like
Starting point is 00:22:21 drinking, deindustrializing and stuff. It's just like one of those things. It's just like, man, like just something so, you know, seemingly infinitesimal, something so seemingly minute. The butterfly thing. Yes. A guy gets sawed in pieces on the other side of the world and a company in East Kentucky goes bankrupt. And all of a sudden, all of our miners lose hope for job return.
Starting point is 00:22:47 That's called the Appalachian. That's the East Kentucky butterfly effect. A guy dies on the other side of the globe. You lose 800 jobs in East Kentucky. Hillbilly butterfly effect. Yes, the hillbilly butterfly effect. Cue up somber banjo music. Holy fuck. I just thought that was so
Starting point is 00:23:06 god damn funny I mean in its own morbid sort of twisted way I thought it was funny I don't know how'd she get turned on to this story is my question like how do you even yeah I don't know I really don't know I don't know either but uh
Starting point is 00:23:21 pretty good exclusive a WMMT exclusive. I really do wish we would steal some WMMT PSAs to put on Trailbillies. Well, there's one of me. Especially the one of you. Do you have black water in your name? I don't even know what it says. Do you have dirty water in your name?
Starting point is 00:23:43 This was 2015, so my voice was a little more. You're very optimistic. You don't have to give your name. And if you do, it'll never be shared. It's a real cop line, honestly. Yeah, you're right. I'm like a fucking cop. Recruiting informants.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Yeah. Wait, speaking of cops, why did a sheriff knock on your door? Good fucking question. The cat has proven herself an ally she freaked the fuck out when he knocked on the door and usually she doesn't when somebody knocks on the door she's just like hey bitch somebody's at your door right for some reason she went wild well there's always a specific kind of cop knock yeah and i was washing dishes so i didn't hear it well enough and i actually probably wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't went the fuck off it was this morning i meant to do them last night
Starting point is 00:24:28 and i was fucking anyway i'm more productive in the mornings that's why i'm always late to work they think it's because i'm asleep wrong i'm doing the shit and getting shit done at home right usually having morning sex productive in the morning i'm busy bitches honestly it's the best time to have sex having sex at night is kind of like i'm tired i don't have the stamina for it exactly you're also more horny in the morning for sure well in my opinion it seems men especially but anyway there's no fault of our own you just wake up horny. I don't know why. Blood flow. I haven't woke up horny in four years. That's true. The older you get, the less it happens.
Starting point is 00:25:10 I usually wake up with a burning pain in my chest. God. And it hurts to pee, but not for sex reasons. I always love when we divulge into your health processes. Anyway, I used to be a person. Just the shell of a human now. Oh, my God. Anyway, this is Mitch, which we should do some backstory here about how we have a new sheriff in town.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Oh, it's Mickey Steins? Is that his name? It wasn't Mickey at my door, but yeah, that's the new sheriff. And after the election, you know, he elected. And he has. He's going around showing off the three grand and a little bit of math he collected. Everybody's like, look what we're doing here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:49 He knocked off one fucking trailer. They weren't even making math. They just like had some. I know who they are. So I know. They just had the accoutrements. They had a few party supplies and a few grand lying around. And he has.
Starting point is 00:26:03 He literally got his ass landed on the cover of the fucking paper two weeks in a row, probably, over a few grand. He's just really riding this train to glory. You know what's funny? It's not funny at all. It's really fucking disgusting. I'm out here trying to score benzodiazepines and stuff. We know. Yeah, for sure sure and i talk to
Starting point is 00:26:26 people and there's like certified says it like he's a politician on doors i'm knocking on babies tom's a canvasser but for getting benzo like i had no like certified like trappers like fucking you know that are like yeah hell yeah mickey stein's fucking signs in their yard and i never like i've that i've just like why you know what i mean that's like fucking uh you know it's like a fucking well he's in with some of them you're right that's the thing to get he's gotta be yeah in somehow like you know's like, if you just point me in the right direction, I'll turn my, I'll turn a blind eye to your operation. You know what I'm saying? Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:11 That's how you be a good sheriff. Or that's how you make people think that you're a good sheriff. Yeah. You like pick a side and then you arrest their competition. Yes. Exactly. I've seen The Wire. I've seen cop shows.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I've seen Justified. I know how cop shows. I've seen Justified. I know how this goes. I know how this goes. Yeah. Anyway, some dumb sheriff's deputy knocked on my door and he had some fucking paperwork. Maybe they call that a subpoena. I don't know. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:27:37 But I knew he was a sheriff. I was like stood there a minute trying to think if I should open the door or not. But I had the fucking radio going. So, and my car was there. And I was just like, you know, do I do i actually anyway i had to make a quick decision so i decided to open the door and i just opened it and looked at it but i didn't say shit i wasn't gonna say nothing like you know you know i just stood there wait no we know you're cool we just stood there a second he said uh is daniel home well i'm not like no and he said daniel wilder don't live here i was
Starting point is 00:28:07 like no i never heard you know no i don't know nobody around here by that name because i know everybody well that's right around me yeah and he was like oh okay all right well and he just stood there what the fuck it's like and they're on that table yeah so i was like all right thanks and i just closed the door and then i went back to washing dishes but his his suv didn't leave for like another 10 minutes because i saw it go down the hall or out of my kitchen window but anyway it just so happened that this day my neighbor's dog's been getting out of the yard and i've been when i see him i put him in my yard he's been getting out of her yard yeah and so Jai was out today when I went to go to work like 20 minutes after that and so I put Jai in my yard Jai I like
Starting point is 00:28:50 that name yeah it's a good how you spell that J-A-I and uh so I messaged my neighbor and was like she cooks up at the school I was like hey I was out again I put him in my yard but I gotta go to work and just so you know the cops are up here looking for somebody named Daniel Wilder. If you know him, tell him to fucking skip town. Don't get lost. Get the fuck out. Yeah. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:29:13 It was weird, but he was so stupid. There's a huge mud hole right in front of my door, like right in front of my little porch. Uh-huh. That everyone avoids, even the dogs. And he stepped in it. Even the dogs can see that that's a huge mud hole among concrete and grass you gotta understand cops are stupid literally he's what i didn't i didn't notice it till i left for work but when i walked out the door i was like fucking dumb ass
Starting point is 00:29:35 it's a huge footprint will you hand me that paper there's a story in the front page of the mountain eagle this week that i think is interesting is it about meeting mickey stein it's no it's not directly about the sheriff's department but it is there's weird stuff going on in the county right now it's so strange well i hope danny wilder hears this and fucking blows town good luck man listen to this this is a weird this is a weird thing garbage strewn along letcher county roads and a cash gift of one thousand dollars sparked interest in audience participation in the letcher fiscal courts february meeting this week why aren't we going to the fiscal court we should because this sounds awesome like this after a very long meeting in which they discussed litter uh road problems
Starting point is 00:30:22 the county being broke all these fucked up things. This happened at the very end of the meeting, sparking all kinds of intrigue and whispering, apparently. Whispering? Yeah. Near the end of the meeting, County Treasurer Doris Jean Frazier injected an element of mystery when she told the court about an unsolicited $1,000 cash gift
Starting point is 00:30:41 that arrived in January 2018. Frazier said the money came from an anonymous donor and was kept in the safe in the judge's office for a year because no one knew what to do with it. She told the court it is time to put the money, which was addressed to the Letcher County Sanitation Department, to use. Frazier showed the court the brown manila envelope in which the money had arrived
Starting point is 00:31:00 and pointed to the lack of return address. She said that no instructions were sent with the cash and the only indication of the donor's intent was the fact that it was addressed to the sanitation department judge executive terry i've also seen the sopranos wait i just wanted to point out if this were uh pikeville i mean you don't even have to go very far any city larger than pike any city larger than whitesburg one thousand dollars would be a drop in the bucket but our broke-ass county they're like oh wait there's the mysterious grand that's laying in the closet. What can we do with that? But it's also hilarious because, like, just $1,000, an unmarked bill, and a money envelope, no return address.
Starting point is 00:31:54 My ass is sad. Wait, it's cash? It's cash? Daddy needs new shoes. $1,000 cash. I didn't even know you could do that. I 100% would have pocketed that. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:32:07 All this last year, we've been talking about how corrupt Jim Ward was. He left $1,000 laying around. And he left a grand laying literally on the table. Honestly, I would not be surprised if there's some crazy palace entry or whatever. It turns out that Jim Ward is the one who actually left it. And it was all some long chess game that he's playing. Those bills are somehow connected back to Jamal Khashoggi's murder. And then when they spend the money, Jim's like, I got you.
Starting point is 00:32:40 That's Saudi money, bitch. You're now tainted. Well well whatever his long game is it includes politicking at the rec center every fucking morning that's what i've heard jim ward's there every morning yes well i'm not there every morning but every morning i'm there he's there what's he doing what's he he just walks he's trying to stage a coup i hate to even say this trying to drum up popular sport he's just walking around you, seemingly working out He's occasionally on a machine But mostly walking a circle
Starting point is 00:33:10 Just speed walking circles around elderly people Because I go at the mamaw hour If you get there about 9.15 The early crowds are already out It's just the senior citizen center But anyway, he's like walking circles But on three different occasions now He's had the same teenage girl with him And I don't know who she is but she's like working out
Starting point is 00:33:28 and he's just hanging out talking to her jone on a newer model oh my god he's already done that three or four times he smells like half a bottle of cheap cologne he smells so bad maybe he has you bought your goddamn tongue joe Von Musk is a gentleman's sin. You should have known better not to bring up sin. You know what he smells like? It smells like a combination of Joe Von Musk and British Sterling. He's so strong. You can't even get near him. And he's always like, hey, how are you?
Starting point is 00:33:59 He talks to every fucking person like he's politicking. Yeah. He's going, hey, you're laughing now, but five years of that. He's coming back. He's got he's gonna hey is he coming back now but five years of that he's coming back he's determined he'll have a base it's like he he it's it's all it feels almost like because i've i talked to myself about this on the fucking elliptical like how what's this man's long game it's almost like he is staying he he's not gonna leave the rec center just in case they try to close it yeah it's the only part of his legacy it's literally it's literally with me him and fucking agnes and eleanor over here
Starting point is 00:34:41 fucking arm and arm and And Terry the garbage man just turns to Derek Bartow and says, take them away. Terry rides up with four or five of his madrigals on garbage trucks and they've got like bulldozed dressed in army fatigues. And Jim Ward is just standing out front.
Starting point is 00:35:03 You shall not pass. Oh my God. It kills me every morning. And it's like he's walking the laps. So I'm like at the same place on the elliptical and he's walking the laps. And every time he goes by, he's like. Every fucking time. Like multiple times.
Starting point is 00:35:21 Multiple times. Every time he walks by you. It's like Groundhog Day. Yeah, it literally is it's like it's like somebody wiped his brain every on every lap yeah
Starting point is 00:35:30 and I just stare at him every time just like it's really amazing that is fucking great absolutely hilarious the funniest thing ever
Starting point is 00:35:40 was uh this guy on twitter was like I live in Brooklyn New York and I have no idea why but i harbor a undying hatred for jim a guy named jim ward that was one of the funniest goddamn things oh my god he is so weird he's such a weird guy
Starting point is 00:36:00 yeah yeah yeah well i wonder if he's going to the fiscal court meetings i wonder if they would mention it in the right up jim was here wayne fleming goes to these because wayne honest to god the people's champ wayne is ledger county's bernie sanders he cares listen folks the hundredaires and the thousandaires, they run everything. They've got to go. Oh, fuck. No, seriously, though. The time that we, I know we've spoken about this before, when they like, when we rushed the budget meeting to trash their entire trends bathroom bill, and they had like moved it
Starting point is 00:36:44 to the basement yeah yeah yeah the basement broom closet you left early but afterwards wow he came to find us all right do you i'm a poser i only know because we convened somewhere and I remember you not being there because we were accosted by Val. Oh, God. Yeah, she wanted to introduce Bobby Howard to a real-life trans person. Fuck my life. Really?
Starting point is 00:37:14 Yeah. It was worse than that. Holy fuck. She paraded about what a great man he was because he had, like, crawled under her house with a flashlight when her pipes froze or some bullshit. Fast forward a month when the Orlando shooting happens and we we have a vigil she's out there with a candle typical white liberal cannot wait to mourn your death but don't give a fuck about you while you live liberals loved phone calls and vigils oh my god anyway don't take me down that road i was sorry sorry carry on my fucking blood pressure is high enough i just walked up these stairs
Starting point is 00:37:44 what was i talking about oh he he rushed us when we were leaving he come out he's like y'all are the future of the county you're the future thank you so much for coming down here and we had just yes and he had we had just drilled the court drug them for all they's worth i was there yeah you're right i did leave early and he rushed us and was like thank you so much for coming down here you know he's like we're's like, we're going to work this out. We're going to work this out. Don't worry about this. But y'all are the future.
Starting point is 00:38:08 We need you at these budget meetings. We need y'all to come back to these meetings. He's like, we're going to figure this out. And he's also like, also, not for nothing, I'm running for Jenkins governor. Mayor Jenkins. Average donation is $27. Not for nothing. In Whitesburg, it would be like $2.70.
Starting point is 00:38:28 He's not the Mayor Jenkins now, is he? No. He does not hold office. I think he was going to run for office. He really did retire, and he still comes to the meetings because he gives a goddamn bless his heart. Yeah, I can't remember what his role is, what was it, this one, but it had something to do with money and accounting. Oh, he stood up and said something? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:46 God love Wayne Fleming. Well, from his point of view, it must have been pretty crazy to go to those meetings which have an average age of attendance of like 65 and see people in their 20s in the audience. Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question before we get too far away from Wayne? Didn't Wayne one time at a fiscal court meeting produce a document from a medical professional certifying that he was clinically insane? I swear to God, I think that happened.
Starting point is 00:39:16 I think you're right. Okay, well, this is... He did, didn't he? Well, he, like, shot his wife's cat or something on accident. I don't know if that's related. Remember when the state come down here to threaten the fiscal court if they didn't balance? He lawyered up on his own. He had his counsel present.
Starting point is 00:39:42 It was the same meeting. It was the same meeting. It was the same meeting. They had to have it like in the upstairs circuit court. Because all the gas people came because their solution to bouncing the budget was to tax all the open mines and wells, which they should have done. But of course, it was that time they turned out all the fucking old dudes. Terrence was out here just kicking F-250s. Also, just in the courtroom, just air kicking people, too. Just trying to piss the people off.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Trying to get a fight. He literally turned around and told the guy sitting right behind me to shut the fuck up. That was the first day. Lil was speaking and he behind me to shut the fuck up that's the first day so like you know leo was speaking and he was like you shut the fuck up well he will not shut the fuck up i was i was in the hallway it was so fucking bullshit because like we were not disrespecting them or anything like they were fucking i don't know in another in another one of those i was ready in another one of those like glitchy things i was standing in the hallway with emily posner who for people who don't know is a lawyer in new orleans but also mike posner's sister like the yeah the rapper the rapper the guy from duke you remember him yeah big and he
Starting point is 00:40:56 hit in like 2008 or something yeah i don't know yeah you think you're cooler than me that guy oh yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway she was trying to help us stop the prison yeah but anyway she was just like that was her first time to whitesburg and she was just like oh she was she was sitting beside us wasn't she was visibly uh and disturbed that i had almost and terrence tried to start a fight i literally had to put a hand on him. I was like, T-Ray, now? Let's just. Anyway, the whole point of this is that Wayne Fleming, the state got up there and said, now this is what's going to happen if you all have signed paperwork. You swore under oath that you would balance the budget of this county, blah, blah, blah, all this shit.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And he said, you know, it hasn't happened often, but these are the things that will happen. We'll take over, blah county blah blah blah all this shit and he said you know it hasn't happened often but these are these are the things that will happen we'll take over the and the worst possible scenario is that the fiscal court goes to jail because they've signed it after and wayne i like how wayne said run along He brought his own lawyer. I ain't going to jail with you bastards. He said, well, I'll tell you this, sir. I don't take very well to threat. Just see them cuffing stuff, Wayne, in the back. And she pushed him in there and he says i'll see you in hell there more
Starting point is 00:42:30 take kindly the threats that might have been the time when he produced the document probably time when he produced the doc he probably said and another thing i'm high maintenance you don't want to take care of me he said i'm on 27 well could you imagine if you're to tell everybody what this guy looks like, he looks like Lindsey Graham if he were 10 years older and had guitar string tattoos all over his arms. Yeah, yeah, because he was in Vietnam or something.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Yeah. Probably. Oh, my God, y'all. I am crying. Well, the funniest thing, though, is his antagonism, his constant sort of antagonism with Jim Ward. But it was kind of a friendly antagonism. So could you imagine, like, the new magistracy,
Starting point is 00:43:33 the new court, fiscal court rolls up to the rec center, and Jim Ward is standing out with two, you know, gray-haired elderly women, and they're like, I'm the captain. Yeah. No, and then the fucking doors kick open to the to the rec center and wayne flimmon just struts out there and jim ward looks back at him oh my like they'd had this rivalry their whole careers and they finally came together
Starting point is 00:43:59 this is so oddly specific to leitron County. No one else is laughing, and we are crying. We're just having inside jokes. No, this is the worst episode. Yeah, they're like, oh, what happened? It's like 20 minutes of us just laughing. But he literally started listing off his medications to a man in a black suit standing in the courtroom from the states that had come down here to try to help him figure out how to bounce
Starting point is 00:44:25 the budget yeah yeah i don't take well to threats he's a man we should all emulate honestly he was in in one instant he was in a position of authority and anti-authority you know he's an elected official against the mayor he was kind of like a dennis kucinich type like a paul wellstone type like a guy yes you're right the guy that was in the system but was constantly trying sanders is actually kind of a good example he's our bernie he's our local bernie i think in his mind though he probably saw himself more as robert bird because robert bird was also that type towards the end of his life he was a he was this sort of anti-establishment type you know a maverick
Starting point is 00:45:12 wayne's a maverick jesus christ anyway god i don't know how we got on this i'm high maintenance I'm on 27 different medications. Ask my wife. Ask my wife. I'm high maintenance. I'm on 27. Hey, we laugh. He's at the fiscal court table. We laugh, but guess where Wayne's at today?
Starting point is 00:45:45 He ain't behind bars. He's sitting back in the fiscal court meeting, but on the other side of the room. That's true. Well, he's still doing his job. Yeah, get to it. What happens with the mysterious grand? Well, that's it. They just...
Starting point is 00:45:57 Nothing? Well, Judge Executive Carrie Adams asked the court to officially accept the money, and Frasier said she would deposit it in the county's general fund with the caveat that it would only be used for the sanitation department. I'm going to tell you what this is. Okay. I'm going to tell you exactly what this is. All this is is a gesture to instill trust in people in the county. It's like just a small—
Starting point is 00:46:18 You think it's, like, engineered. It's totally engineered. Oh, you're probably right. No, they do shit like that all the time, dude. Cities and counties, when they're hooking and crooking, they make, they make small gestures to be like, oh, no, they're above board. And meanwhile, they're embezzling the big money. A million dollars. Nothing to see here.
Starting point is 00:46:35 God damn. Oh, this thousand dollar. Because you're right. It's not a big amount. It's not a large enough sum to really notice if it wouldn't even know if it disappeared or something like that you know you can make a thousand dollars appear disappear probably pretty quickly i feel like anybody in the world come with a thousand dollars you give them a month you know what i mean even broke-ass sletcher county i think i'd say you're probably
Starting point is 00:46:58 right yeah in this country anyway yes in this country i mean honestly this is a tactic i employ at work where I'm like, if I do this thing really well, they'll leave me alone for about two months. If I pull this off, nobody's gonna fuck with me. I'll get at least two months. I remember having a job and doing that at my job. I guess it didn't work out. I guess that tactic didn't work out well.
Starting point is 00:47:19 Didn't extra-serve me in the long run. Sucks. Alright. So on that note, let's get the speaker piece, shall we? Oh, God. Shall we? And our grand finale
Starting point is 00:47:29 will be the mail I got today. I'm going to open in front of you guys. Oh, hell yeah. What is it? Oh, hell yeah. Okay. It's my credentials.
Starting point is 00:47:36 All right. Just wondering why anyone would put an ugly picture on an obituary card. We're all ugly enough the way it is. What? To a certain
Starting point is 00:47:48 person, you can judge me all you want. That says more about you than it does me. You want to speak your synth tone? Yeah, give me some synth. Oh, speak your synth. Yeah. At my sexy sex ad this week, one of the
Starting point is 00:48:02 girls coined the term public cervix announcement. That's good. The kids are all right. Few Democrats don't want to live peacefully with the American people. Well, that's your business. But I, for one, think you should pack your bags and get the heck out of our nation. Leave as soon as you can i say and then let us build the damn
Starting point is 00:48:28 wall to keep you democrats from getting back in the democratic party is a disgrace to our nation you know it's strikes and gutters on that one a couple weeks ago we were on our side by side and drove by this certain cemetery. I love this one. This one is so good. And there was this certain person and his certain girlfriend having a cookout. Cemeteries are no places to have cookouts, kids. It's a place to go to pay respect to the dead, which is something you all simply don't do these days. which is something you all simply don't do these days.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Oh, gosh. Certain man from Dean area probably has, I don't know, three to five gallons of hydrocodone. Ten milligram Norco. He only takes half a pill once a month to pass his test. I don't know where he goes, but they should do a test to see if he's taking the three or four prescribed a day. But this is just a shame. Wake up.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Just my opinion. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That didn't make any sense to me. It didn't make sense to me either. This is a shame. Wake up. Wake up, America. That, yeah, yeah. That didn't make any sense to me. It didn't to me either. This is a shame. Wake up. Wake up, America. That's just my opinion.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Okay. To the person who called in and threw off on Almighty God, let me tell you something. He saved me. He's healed me. And he's heard my voice many times. Jesus is our Savior. the caller's comment was blasphemous i hope whoever called that in gets saved i see where the governor of new york and the mayor of new york and all their liberal friends couldn't keep amazon there with all Amazon there. Ha! With all New York had to offer, Amazon said no.
Starting point is 00:50:26 They're upset over it, but I think Amazon was singing the song when they left New York. Start spreading the news. We're leaving today and we won't be back. Thank you anyway. Editor's note. Our ears will never be the same after your singing of that song. How about adding a little melody if there's a next time? Mr. President, build your wall.
Starting point is 00:50:55 The Democrat Party doesn't rule you. You are the president of these United States. When you build your wall, that will ensure the Republican Party of being in the White House from now on like it should be. Because the Democrat Party will always threaten to tear the fence down and the American people just aren't going to stand for it.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Let's put a fence all the way around the United States. That'll blow their damn minds. God bless America and God bless you, Mr. President. Thank you. I could not help. I thought that was such a funny thing.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Build a wall around all of America. It'll blow their damn minds. This is a quote often credited to Winston Churchill. Dogs look up to us, cats look down on us, and pigs treat us as equals. I'm thinking we shouldn't be like the cats and pigs in regard to Grace's closet.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Oh my god. Some people go in there and root through the clothes and things and don't put it back like they found it. Ask yourself this. Are we better off with Grace's closet or without Grace's closet? Think on this.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Things that come into existence can go out of existence, like the dinosaur, for example. So wouldn't it be better not to go in like a cat looking down on the workers for following rules they have or like a pig making a mess. Don't forget your Q's. Liking your P's and Q's.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Oh, don't forget your P's. As in, you know, the phrase P's and Q's. Don't forget the Q's section of that. To a certain person. You know, if your dad would do you that way, well, I reckon he's your dad. When are you going to work? You need to have a DNA test done on the child you already do have.
Starting point is 00:52:57 The child looks nothing like you, buddy. If the new sheriff wants to know if anyone is selling drugs, I'd be happy to get up with him to let him know. A certain person about a mile or two above Cal in school sold me some bad stuff. That is wrong. Really wrong. And you need to make it right, Sheriff. Sold me some that stuff. Sounds like me and this person might go to the same place. A certain programmer on WMMT thinks that young people know about Al Gore
Starting point is 00:53:37 and hanging chads and all these things. He's living in the past, trying to bring some conventional and understandable commentary to his program. Is that you, Terrence? I thought when I was reading that, I was like, is that me? I was talking about Al Gore this week. Did you? He needs something to spice that
Starting point is 00:53:56 program up. To the wonderful people out there, as far as I can find in my King James Bible, Hebrews 7 and 5 says, quote, And verily they say, excuse me, and verily they that are not,
Starting point is 00:54:13 and verily they that are of the sons of Levi, who receive the office of the priesthood, have a commandment to take tithes of the people, end quote. Listen, that wasn't God's commandment. Those priests got greedy just like these preachers are today. Do not give them your money.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Read 1 Corinthians 9.18. Preach the gospel of Christ without charge. You keep supporting these lying preachers and you'll go right to hell with them. Hey, whoever wrote that, tune in to this week's episode. Oh, yeah. If you think your wife is still being an angel
Starting point is 00:55:00 when you go to work, you've got another thing coming. She knows what time you come home, and trust me, they do too. Sick burn, man. Damn. Just curious as to why the county doesn't clean the ditch lines out anymore.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Some of these ditch lines were cleaned out. Maybe most of this flooding wouldn't happen. Thank you, God bless I've lived in Jenkins, Kentucky All of my life And the current mayor and the city police Ain't helping anyone or anything We need to get a new mayor
Starting point is 00:55:39 And a new police force Drugs are being sold out of at least Five houses in Mudtown We need to get that stopped man a lot of snitches and speak your piece i know man it's fucked up snitches get stitches speak your piece a lot of people here just inordinately interested in Amazon pulling out of New York. Really? The two most frequently, the two most talked about topics in Speaker Peace this week was Grace's Closet and Amazon pulling out of New York.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Well, let's talk about Grace's Closet. Did you see the... They were protesting? Yeah, Carl Sloan's protest. Yeah, I saw that. Who was it? Carl Sloan. Who's that?
Starting point is 00:56:24 It's Tristan Kameille's uncle really yeah he got out there and i guess what had happened was oh you got the tea yeah i got the tea spill the tea sis so uh what had happened was um and this is from our buddy max alvarez interviewed carl for his podcast and he said that there was surveillance video of a mother and a child that were kind of rummaging through the like the drop off stuff you know like out in front of the doors and like just and they like took a few items or something like that and like grace's closet put the pictures of it like on their facebook what and we're like calling out people for like stealing like stealing donation donated shit what the fuck like before before like you not like they went in the store and stole stuff which is also very cool yeah and legal very cool
Starting point is 00:57:20 very legal right but they were stealing shit off out from the front of the store right like stuff people drop top yeah they have the shit in the store, right? Like stuff people would drop top. Yeah, they put... Half the shit in the store is free. I know. There's like a free section. Right. Who's to say that shit wasn't going to go in the free section anyway?
Starting point is 00:57:32 Well, so anyway, they like kind of shamed these poor people and all this kind of stuff. Jesus Christ. Carl wasn't having it. And so what he did was he went and rounded up a bunch of like stuff people were getting ready to give away and was going to send to Grace's Closet. And he went out beside Grace's Closet and was handing it out with a sign that said, this is what real Grace looks like. So solidarity, Carl. I love it.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Somebody was in there like, anybody mad at Grace's Closet doesn't understand how economics work. You got to pay the bills. You got to deal with all this. It's just, I mean, it's like. But two women shuffling through a bag outside ain't coming for their fucking bag. Exactly. Yeah, trust me. Yeah, people take them like, I think, you know, maybe they took some toys or some shit.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Like, that ain't, like, going to, like, fucking cut your lights off. Here's the thing. If you own Grace's closet and you see somebody stealing your shit and um you know you want to you know you're mad about it just go talk to them say hey that wasn't very cool rude i can't wait they put their picture up that's so low yes it's surveillance picture of them up It's like I get so mad when I'm checking out somewhere And they've got pictures up of people who wrote bad checks
Starting point is 00:58:51 Like fuck off Yeah for sure Yeah No Facebook is If somebody writing a $20 bad check Is going to bankrupt your business Hey guess what maybe you shouldn't have a fucking business Yeah yeah bad check, it's going to bankrupt your business. Hey, guess what? Maybe you shouldn't have a fucking business. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:06 I mean, it's cliche to say this because it's been pointed out ever since Trump got elected. But it's phenomenal to me that there are people out there who get every bit of their news from Facebook. I know how crank that sounds, but there are literal people in the world who that's the information they're navigating the world on. You know what I'm saying? You watch TV shows, you watch you read Al Jazeera
Starting point is 00:59:36 or something. I don't know where you get your Twitter. YouTube. The only things I read are things you all send me. Well, that's good then uh meantime i listen to wmmt that's where i get my news good answer correct answer me i'm mostly prison planet and uh a couple others but yeah a little bit mmt yeah yeah yeah yahoo news for me a bit of twitter just yeah i listened to i did read al jazeera until i found out they did 9-11 and i was i was off like remember that remember when that shit like al jazeera usa really
Starting point is 01:00:18 popped during 9-11 kind of people were like really weird because. Because they were covering the Iraq War. And so, and that was, like, you know, people wanted to see that shit. But the way that our wars are covered now, it's, like, I don't know why, but I have this mental image in my mind. Maybe it's because, like, some of my first memories were created when we, the first Gulf War. So, like, I have all these images in my mind of, like, you know. Bombings and all this shit. Yes, yeah. first goal four so like i have all these images in my mind of like you know bombings yes yeah just like that that classic vision like the night you know vision remember this shit like in schools when like i remember when clinton ordered i think it's operation desert fox when he did this like a bombing campaign in baghdad oh yeah yeah and like we watched it live in school. Go down. And like. I remember staying up late to watch just literally like a night cam of a shrub.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Like literally I was just sitting there like a kid watching just like a bunch of shrubs. And just like. Just like lots of explosions would pop off every little bit. Well, it's weird. It's like it's weird to think about how in the 60s, up until the very end, they showed nightly on people's television screens, people would turn on their TVs to see,
Starting point is 01:01:39 I'd say the two or three most prevalent images is poverty in Appalachia, riots in inner city ghettettos and the vietnam war like and it was violent stuff too i mean it was people uh you know getting or jesus died on the cross or jesus died on a lot of violence yeah the resurrection but it's just weird like when a war starts they cover it for a few months and then they're like old news yeah so i mean we're still in war in afghanistan we never talk about it it's happens every single day every single fucking day and it's like yeah it's old news it's fascinating or maybe that's not the right word for it it's just the flags in town are half mass and i asked somebody and um someone said that it was because a kentucky
Starting point is 01:02:26 soldier died in syria this week oh really so or like a ledger county soldier or something so they've got the flags at half is there another reason they would i don't know maybe it was a guy who went over to fight with the ypg like the kur the Kurdish YPG or something like that. That's what, if I were the mayor, that's what I would lower them for. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Because I was like, God almighty. Yeah. Well, what you got in the package, Tanya? I got some mail today. What's in the box?
Starting point is 01:02:59 We should, are we going to do Deeply Diseased? Oh yeah, do you have any this week, Tom? We forgot last time, Tom, when you and I did it. I don't, we don't, I don't think we have it. We don you have it any this week we forgot last time tom when you and i
Starting point is 01:03:05 did it uh i don't we don't i don't think we have we don't have it yeah okay well if you have any send us to tom send us a venture deeply diseased disease does well i received my package today from the universal life church ministries nice ulc monastery that's what it says. Do not bend. In the mail today, huh? Yeah, I just got this in the mail today. So I'm opening it right now. Fucking perfect. That's incredible. It says do not bend.
Starting point is 01:03:33 So after this, you will be. I meant to bring this up on the Valentine's Day special because this is what I did for Valentine's Day. For Valentine's Day, I got ordained as a minister. for Valentine's Day. For Valentine's Day, I got ordained as a minister so I could lead a friend's wedding
Starting point is 01:03:47 and they had been on me to get it done because the wedding's in May and every time I see them, they're like, did you do your thing? And I was like, oh, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:03:55 No, I'm sorry. So my Valentine's Day gift to them was I finally did it. Yeah. I got my ordained. So now this has come in. I just,
Starting point is 01:04:04 Arthur, just let me say that i don't know anybody more crass like than you trying exactly very selfless and what i wish is that this is just the beginning of uh my queer wedding planning empire oh no i'm always trying to look at this look how fucking serious car black card it's i feel look how fucking legit this is i feel weird seal on it they're flush with cash because a lot of people get their ordination through them oh yeah oh yeah they've got a list of celebrities lady gaga really so you and lady gaga are ordained in the same like like back in the day back in the day
Starting point is 01:04:44 this would just be like a piece of like printer paper yeah you know now they're up on it this is gold and black i fucking love this okay it says universal life church ministries credentials of ministry this is to certify that the bearer hereof on this day the 12th of february in the year 2019 tanya bernice turner is ordained by the universal life church oh hell yeah fuck it yeah so hit me up um what i would love to do is i just want to become a wedding planner it would be really funny if you're walking down the street and somebody was like oh we gotta get married right now and you were like pull it out your black card or if i'm like at a wedding someone i really don't know and the preacher's a no-show and i'm like
Starting point is 01:05:26 excuse me um i could do this can anybody uh unite these two in matrimony the preacher just had a massive heart attack how bad or i can perform i can perform this wedding and his funeral right now same ceremony one-stop shop baby that's what i told terrence i was like i want a one-stop shop queer wedding planning decoration and and master of ceremonies oh yeah i will dress you i will decorate i will like decorate the whole place and then perform the ceremony hell yeah you know what you also could do with that is uh you know just go to the bar and order a bunch of drinks and just flip to the bar and say, keep it open. Give them my black card. Ma'am, this is just a business card.
Starting point is 01:06:12 There's a bunch of small print on the back. I hope it doesn't say this is bullshit. How it says, this credential may not be utilized as a document to establish identity. Really? how it says this credential may not be utilized as a document to establish to establish identity really so you can't tie identity politics at the universal life church so yeah hit me up if you want a real true billy whedon oh we'll come as a package deal
Starting point is 01:06:41 that would be a good tier. Terrence will play the drums. Tom will stand in instead of your deadbeat dad. If you don't have a father figure that you like, I'll give you away. Tom will be your daddy. He'll walk you to meet. Terrence will be playing. Terrence will play the marching.
Starting point is 01:07:04 What's it called the bridal song here comes the bride he'll play it on the synth this is too good I'll have to work on it yeah we'll practice it
Starting point is 01:07:19 we've got your one stop shop we'll work it out that'll be a tier on the Patreon $500 a month we'll get you the Trillbilly wedding We've got your one-stop shop. We're working out. That'll be a tier on the Patreon. $500 a month will get you the Trill Billy wedding package. No, you just PayPal, Venmo that straight to me, in fact.
Starting point is 01:07:36 Skip the Patreon. Well, you will get a bigger cut because you... Do you have to pay fees or anything for this? I just had to pay for the actual stuff. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. It like. So they will accept anybody.
Starting point is 01:07:48 So you're. It was like $16 or something. That's amazing. For all this. It's pretty good. Oh, no. They fucked up. It's not making you have to renew it every year.
Starting point is 01:07:57 Yeah. I know. Yeah. For sure. But yeah, like Lady Gaga's did this and a bunch of other stupid celebrities or something. Speaking of Lady Gaga, an old woman was talking about her in the post office line today. I heard the post office line was backed up because it was lunchtime and somebody that worked there was on lunch. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:16 So there's like 20 people in line. And the woman behind me had already like come up to me, like put both arms on me and said and like showed me one of the yellow, like she had gotten a yellow tag in her box that means you have a package she was like does this mean what does this mean and i was like oh just you just have a package and she said you don't think they're tricking me to come get a bill you gotta be vigilant i said it's true well i said i think that means you got something that wouldn't fit in your box. Only an absolute rube open certified mail. I was like, I ain't going to say it's not a bill. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:08:50 She was like, that's how they get you. That's one of my favorite phrases. That's how they get you. Just someone jumping out in a bathroom at a gas station and handing you a yellow bill. Gotcha, motherfucker. But anyway, then this other woman come in who ended up yelling at somebody to tell them for his wife to get a hold of her found out she cuts hair at captivate so she had like announced to the whole post office come come see her captivate but her
Starting point is 01:09:17 and this woman were talking and i don't know if she her phone rang and it was a song by lady gaga or she was singing it i don't know what happened but I just heard the woman say, what is that? And she said, oh, it's that Lady Gaga song called Gypsy. They don't really play it on the radio. People don't know it. That's literally what she said. And I was just standing there like, Lord. One of Lady Gaga's problematic deep cuts.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Yeah, yeah. And so then the older lady says, you know, no matter what you like, you know who Lady Gonk on you. People know her. People know her. And she said, she's that girl that wore a meat dress, ain't she? She remembered the fucking meat dress. That's incredible. And the captivate woman said, well, she don't do that kind of stuff no more.
Starting point is 01:10:00 And then the woman said, I heard she i know and the woman said i heard she made a good movie hey i loved it i hope you're talking about american horror story hotel i went i went to a lady gaga concert one time with my ex-girlfriend is visually stunning i heard she puts on a good show you know i hear taylor swift puts on a good show man well but anyway that is a good show to the managers with restaurants i'm sure anyway it's a good in the are you saying this taylor swift's constituency like her audience is let me speak to the manager paper oh by the way by the way i the hill i want to die on this would be the last thing of this episode the hill that i want to die on is um the hill will kill you the hill that i want to die on today there'll be this will be in this segment
Starting point is 01:10:49 the hill that i want to die on today is i don't really understand why people have a problem with asking to speak to the manager as long as you're not being an asshole to the workers manager's fair game in my opinion right you're almost always shitting on the person you're talking to. But what if you do it politely like I did? What'd you do? What did you ask
Starting point is 01:11:10 to speak to the manager? Tom was with me. It was when we had to go see Venom and they turned the shit up way too loud. Oh, you did. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:11:19 The thing was I was like, it was busting my ears. It was like through the roof loud. It was so loud. But I was like, I'm busting my ears. It was like through the roof, Lau. It was so loud. But I was like, I'm not going to. We all went on a movie date together.
Starting point is 01:11:29 And he asked to speak to the manager. This is worse. I was very embarrassed then. I'm embarrassed now. This is worse than when you all showed up to Lily's birthday party with a shared gift and card. Lily's going to have a shared gift and card. Lily's gonna have a faulty memory about these two gay guys.
Starting point is 01:11:51 They're on the restaurant called Heritage Kitchen together. Yeah, yeah. She will get the memory mixed up and will be the owners of Heritage. They gave me this book. Heritage Not Hate Kitchen. About the Reds. get the memory mixed up and we'll be the the owners of heritage they gave me this book heritage not hate kitchen heritage not hope will hang the confederate flag instead of the american flag no no no no uh look i was just i was nice to the workers and i was even nice to the manager i was
Starting point is 01:12:18 just like dude come on i'm gonna i'm gonna go find out if if any workers got fired the night Venom was playing. If they did, I'm pulling Terrence's credentials on the show. No friend of the workers here. Getting canceled for getting a worker fired. I wanted to do a spinoff podcast where we do prank calls, but the twist is you can only prank call management. You can't fuck with workers. Well, that's what I say.
Starting point is 01:12:45 I often, as soon as I get on the phone with a customer service person, I'm like, can I please speak to the supervisor? Let me just talk to this fucking supervisor. Right. If it has to do, I guess it's just, if it's like dealing with my student loans, just so much shit. That's your first damn mistake, even addressing those. Recognizing them at all.
Starting point is 01:13:12 It takes so, or dealing with like me trying to fucking negotiate with a creditor or whatever. It's like whatever it is. Mistake number two. Mistake number two. Can't reason with those jackals. With the enemy. You know what was fascinating was after I got fired, I hadn't, I just suddenly got a massive influx of creditor calls. It's like they knew?
Starting point is 01:13:28 Yeah, I don't know how. Maybe it's because I filed for unemployment. That might be why. But it was like I immediately... Did they give you your unemployment? No. Did they stiff you on your unemployment? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:13:41 The weird thing about unemployment... Have you been getting checks? No, no, no. Okay, then they're stiffing you on your unemployment. No, no. That is weird thing about unemployment is I didn't... Have you been getting checks? No, no, no. Okay, then they're stiffing you on your unemployment. No, no. That is uncomfortable. It's my fault, sort of.
Starting point is 01:13:49 I didn't know this. And this is how fucked up and futile the system has gotten. You have to actually go... They give you a specific date. I've never gotten unemployment before, so I didn't know.
Starting point is 01:13:59 I've never done this before. And so when they said you can claim your unemployment on this date, I thought they meant after this date. It's on that date. You have to go and they said you can claim your unemployment on this date i thought they meant after this date it's on that date you have to go and you have to they give you a time between like seven and five on a date that you have to go in and claim your unemployment let me tell you something and you couldn't do it i don't believe i don't say let me tell you what it says let me tell you
Starting point is 01:14:18 you went in after that and i told you to go get yeah i had to file again and you didn't do it filed twice well the next one's coming up it's like early march oh so you're gonna get yeah i had to file again and he didn't do it i filed twice well the next one's coming up it's like early march oh so you're gonna get it i probably i don't know i'm saying if you're old employers don't give it to me don't give you unemployment yeah yeah yeah oh fuck hey i got something to tell you when we're all fair too oh okay no i do care actually let's uh we'll end this hey go to the
Starting point is 01:14:46 patreon god damn it patreon.com slash true billy workers party this is a patreon oh well let me back
Starting point is 01:14:56 it up a little bit well you're already on the patreon motherfuckers go tell a friend thank you so much yeah give us go tell a friend
Starting point is 01:15:02 go tell a friend and five hundred dollars a year get you the triple wedding. Go tell a friend. Go tell a friend and $500 a year gets you the Tripoli wedding package. You are a great neighbor. You are. You make this podcast possible for the freeloaders out there. It's really, we really appreciate it. We really do.
Starting point is 01:15:15 We really do. Well, anyways, thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.

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