Tuesdays with Stories! - #385 Tunited

Episode Date: January 26, 2021

Smokin' hot ep this week as Joe plans a dangerous new trip before getting owned by a parking lot attendant while Mark sits next to some loud white trash on his flight before a mid show emergency in OKC. Check it out! Check out our new merch here! Shirts, stickers, phone cases, mugs, you name it! https://www.teepublic.com/user/tuesday-s-with-stories Sponsored by: Sheath Underwear (sheathunderwear.com code: tuesgays) & Blue Chew (bluechew.com code: tuesdays) Subscribe to our Patreon for full video of the show A WEEK EARLY, bonus eps, and more! www.patreon.com/tuesdays

hey mark fake banter for the intro that's all I know how to do great good to be here welcome to Tuesdays with stories hit her in the face with a surfboard and then the duck fell out of his bag surfs up and she didn't even flush knock knock who's there Mark Norman and Joe less Tuesdays with stories everybody that's terrible this is supposed to be cheesy my radio is spitting at me hey simultaneous start look at you look like a math teacher over there holy hell thank you I feel like I look okay actually well the shirt's nice and it's

a it's a solid stash this is the new Ted Baker I was talking about in a previous episode short sleeve Ted Baker went out and bought it and it's like a Marty McFly shirt yes and then Sarah is shooting a video and she's doing a like a spoof of pretty in pink and so I'd play at 80s dad so I went mustache no glasses oh yeah wow I can see it nice 80s dad look and I decided to keep it for the for the fans I mean I don't want to deprive the fans of this no it looks cool you look like a nom vet you know and then you're trying to discipline some kids it's so crusty though I'm jealous of the people I just did a conference

call with like a production team for something that's not gonna get made and this guy it looked like a grease paint like groucho stash yeah black full like mine's got little holes is this yeah yeah it's like a little bit an old push broom that's losing some bristles yeah it looks it's terrible it looks like you know my my daughter got murdered and raped and then they had to pull out my hairs to test to see if it was me but it wasn't yeah now do you smell you know a scrambled egg in there and a chicken parm like does it all save no I don't smell anything I got COVID or something because I don't smell anything it's just a

regular mustache smell I mean I've only had it the stat I mean I had the beard because I don't I don't shave for a while yeah and people by the way people message me to like keep the beard and I'm like well this is what I look like all the time like I never shave all the way I always have a five o'clock shadow because I'm gay and my father hates me yeah well he always here with the with the mustache or the flavor saver which is a horrifically gross thing for the soul patch but I don't know I don't want flavor save I don't want to you know taste the kids asshole all day you know I want to I want to move on the patch I'll just

say this and I don't want to offend any fans I'm always afraid to lose fans but the patch is embarrassing patch Adam sucks you know nicking patch kids yeah it's just it's terrible it's a terrible look and I just I hate it it's just ridiculous you got a little dot there come on it doesn't matter maybe it's the OCD talking but I'm like I need two things or it's something's not right I don't like it just sits there under the lip and what's the point at least the mustache are to get it you're a homosexual or a cop or a fireman but the soul pet what is that mean you're in sugar ray it doesn't help me at all by the way is it soul

S O U L or is it soul like a singular patch ah it's definitely not the fish maybe it's uh I think it's the soul like black so well we soul like like soul food like whoo man okay I thought maybe it was soul like we have a pat like some people have multiple patches but this is a soul patch it's just a great question that makes a lot of sense I mean guess somebody give that a goog I think you're on to something because there's like soul because it does sound like soul brother what's up soul brother right it is soul shall be saying so it's so definitely soul okay like

Aretha Franklin did she have the patch I mean what what's the origin of this no no I don't know I think because it's show maybe like some blues musicians had it you know back in the day or some rock and roll guys so it's got soul I guess so the black people had that for a while they'd have a little dot underneath yeah like Jordan had a little piece yeah he also had a Hitler for for a hot second remember that on the Haynes commercial like he was like corporate Hitler yeah that was like oh this guy is the greatest of all time because he's you know it's like Woody Allen and Michael Jackson can bang a child and everybody's fine with

it because they're so great and I guess Jordan's so great he can have a soul patch or a Hitler patch I mean interesting did you watch the Tiger doc on HBO yeah I did I loved it I loved it too but I'm getting shit I'm getting all kinds of flak what's the beef it's great it's Alex Gibney back again people I people hate it because it's a bunch people were like it's a hit piece which I thought was strange people were like it's fucking tabloid hit piece yada yada what was it give me by the way I thought two brothers made it well he produced ah produce well they said people were like it's a hit piece it's tabloid

bullshit and to me I'm like a I loved Tiger before I love him even more now yeah I came out with even more love for him and it made me deeply empathetic towards the guy because his father beat him and his father was a veteran and fucked women in front of them and all this crazy shit and he was famous by the time he was a fetus so I felt like he had no chance in life so the fact that he's fucking a few dames who gives a shit and also all those things were public this person just put it all in one place and then made him said this is why he's like this it's what gave you a reason of why he was already all these things but

I was getting shit like I'm supporting fucking you know the cancel culture or some shit no no I mean he was they're just reporting it they're just chronicling what happened I feel the same way and I thought they could have been a lot meaner I thought they pulled some punches I was into it and I also thought it made the paparazzi look like shit bags yes exactly the paparazzi is kind of the the original canceller because they're like oh we need to get we need to ruin this guy so we can sell some magazines yes exactly they are the canceller and where's Batman villain the canceller that'd be a funny movie or

whatever Batman gets cancelled yeah they come out and they tweet out you know Batman you know raped catwoman or whatever he is and he said the n-word or whatever he said the n-word to missioner Commissioner Gordon and they have a recording of it or something yeah that would be something that might be fun let's shoot it call this call Salicus what's the costume though yeah you'd have to get a Batman thing you could just be Keaton or not Keaton what's the Bruce Wayne I guess you could just be Bruce Wayne and the costumes hanging in the back or whatever right right that's true and he's online he's like ah this

is the only guy I can't beat I can beat the Joker because he's just a lunatic with a clown makeup this guy is on the internet it'd be funny too if Bruce Wayne didn't get it you'd have to bleep it but he just keeps saying the n-word in the thing he's like they're all upset because I said beep and then I guess you can't say beep anymore that would be fun all right you know many black people I've saved I should be allowed to say that right and then that's all right neighborhood there's a bunch of be yeah yeah that'd be by the way you never see Batman really saving people do you yeah I think so especially in the the the movies like he

saves that boat full of people doesn't need he saves he saves ladies you know with the he beats up people with Kim basing her well I get he he saves that that's my point I guess is he saves the main character or the climax but there's never just like kind of whatever like Batman the TV show I feel like it was always the Joker was doing something like there's never just maybe I'm completely way off base on this actually the comic book is a lot of saving it's a lot of petty crime but I don't have a big boss you know yeah I'd like to see like you know somebody keys a car and Batman comes down and scissors kicks

or you know someone's robbing a purse but maybe I'm wrong about Batman I haven't seen that many Batman's in a while I'd just like to see some non-stars getting saved yeah no I'm with you on that I guess cuz it's a it's Hollywood you got to up it you know you gotta have the evil villain that's trying to kill the Jews or whatever but like I'm with you and I also I try to write a bit about this it's weird that the villains are never insulting like I'd be like oh Batman's a he's a pedophile he's a rapist you know like I make fun of him you're you're Lex Luthor say mean shit I think the Joker said some shit right

didn't he say something I can't remember you know they're like you're you can't outsmart me you're an idiot to your nerd but oh you know call him a couple slurs and make fun of his mom your mom's a slut I fucked your mom in the mouth you know like let's really rile him up yeah what's up with Robin you fucking queer there you go you know superman man of steel I already can't get it up you know have fun with it why not you're a villain more like woman of steel yeah woman said your dick was invisible like her lasso I don't know or what is it the plane the plane is invisible I can't remember but anyways comic books suck

and you stupid if you read them but anyways I agree this silly what some of these guys reading graphic novels that's a that's an epidemic I think they think there's something they're like I'm reading whatever it's like get real get a book you fucking child get a book you weirdo I see guy I go to their houses and it's on the toilet and I go oh gee I didn't know you were one of them you got the star man and and you know asteroid dick on the on the toilet and they're like oh it's realistic he's in New York City it's pollution there's crime I'm like I get out of here it's pictures I'll say this though if you if I do see

like a whole rack like if they have like the wall and it's every issue in order that speaks to my tits a little bit that I can be like okay you got a whole thing here somehow that's better than just like a scraggler like you got one you know the the iron tits on the on the table I'm like come on get real hide that thing you fucking lose it this is embarrassing rather a gay porn out give me something that yeah but you like a saga that's what I was gonna say it'd be like if you just had like cuck porn mags on your toilet you're like let's keep that to yourself that between you and you know your whatever father but when they

have the whole collection because that means they're like I was into it now I'm really into it feels more adult to collect the whole set somehow I guess I don't know collect the whole set sounds like what a 12-year-old says like a mom I gotta collect the whole set you gotta buy it but what's even worse than the comic book and this is when I have to deep friend is when I go over there and he's got the Asian stuff I'm talking the anime the what is it called Wichita what's it Henta Hentel I'm upset you've heard of it oh my god I've seen it on the porn sites it's like Asian porn where their cartoons blowing each other I'm

like what are we doing here Hentel's a soup I'm sorry but yeah that stuff the anime has never it does it's not visually appealing to me it's all sharp corners they have like spiky hair and stuff yeah I don't I don't get it I don't see it I think it stinks maybe you know if you're watching DuckTales I'm like okay I guess maybe it's kind of a something it's kind of attractive but yeah anime is is silly and then I hear all these people be like the real Batman is I don't want to get too specific here because now I'm just talking about one guy that I love yeah yeah but there's people that love the

cartoon Batman I don't understand the cartoon Batman animated series is like if you're like it's so well-written it's like a Scorsese thing like get out of here Charlie Kaufman wrote one of them you're like no he didn't shut up Kaufman stinks but look part it's like religion part of me is like I wish I liked it you can just go down to the the comic book store and pick up a couple of rags and you're happy for a month you know I wish I had that so I'm jealous in a way yeah no I think I've tried to put myself there it's like it's like hooking up with a guy like you try to kind of imagine it happening and now

yeah I come fast but I still don't want to do it you know right right totally with you I'd like the cool guy is Stan Lee or or whatever other nerd invented these guys that's cooling this guy invented something and people enjoy it and he made zillions of dollars and there's an empire behind it and made kids happy and their dad hit them and all this but I don't like the thing I live I'm more shit in Stan Lee I think that the thing the character but yeah I hate him I hate him. I hate all of them. Batman's the most acceptable to me because he's dark and he's just a guy he's like a martial artist I guess he's rich whatever

yeah but which by the way those guys must all like jerk off to it like the Elon Musk's and the Andrew Bezos with the fuck his name is they must wait what's Bezos Jeff Bezos they must be so like they must think about Batman I imagine like oh man maybe I could get the fucking Batwing or whatever I think you're right I mean they're basically Bruce Wayne they're millionaire mogul types you know trying to get laid and in a mansion and then Elon based the Tesla's like a Batmobile like he's almost made these vehicles for himself good point yeah but I assume they all are just nerds though in real life oh yeah oh yeah like you ever

watch those old videos sometimes I go on a YouTube rabbit hole do you go with rabbit hole or wormhole everybody picks their own I say rabbit hole or asshole ah yes yes I try to mix it up with worm and rabbit so I went with rabbit on that one but yeah dickhole works too but these guys they have old footage of Elon Musk first of all his hairs about like the hairline starts about here he obviously they all got plugs at least Bezos had the balls to stay bald but they're fucking dweebs they're like these little nerds and a button down they're in a shitty cubicle with a bunch of like paper stacked up and they're like

kicking a copy machine like I can't get a break and I'll tell you you crunch the numbers and then cut to 20 years later and they they own you know Pluto yeah good good for them I say hats off to those guys you know destroying the economy or whatever it is but you know I don't understand how to invent something I can't even wrap my head around the idea of like creating a thing it seems so daunting it's weird that somebody is like a kid they're like I'm gonna invent things yeah I've just always been like everything was invented already I'll just use whatever well two things on that one they say invention is the mother

no invention necessity necessity yes so whatever you're sitting at home and you go isn't it weird that there's no way to crack an egg with your dick or whatever and you're like I'm gonna make that you know somebody had to come up with velcro or or you know an egg beater thing where you turn it so if you just sit around and go what do I what do I think is not happening that should be happening what's necessary that's all there you go you got an invention but that part I don't want to say easy but that I can do homework machine a dick sucking book or whatever but it's inventing it then you have to create you got to put in the the codes

and the wires and the business yeah you know what I mean like a Lego set that can fucking in the ass is my invention but I don't know how to make that well you hire an Asian kid you get some blueprints and some graph paper and a compass and you're halfway there it's like a bit if you think of the premise you can eventually get to the punchline but it's gonna take a joke as an invention you pulled jokes out of your ass and that's that's never existed but that's a thought I know how to thought and communicate I know how to thought I just said I can I can thought all day and spoke all day but to create a physical

thing like a bookstore where we fly the books on a plane and stick it up your ass on the doorstep that's pretty impressive yeah that is impressive like they didn't get a soldering iron and they're down in the basement and their wife's going come to dinner he goes fuck you couldn't I'm making a Lego dick plow you know and yeah that's true just how do you make metal do things that's insane battle bots I have no idea but I also had a t-shirt invention we might have talked about this before you and I off off-pod I have like a billion dollar t-shirt idea industry but I don't know how to make it work well are you willing

to divulge cuz some Tuesday is gonna make a zillion dollars off of this I don't want to give it away because exactly someone will take this thing but maybe this won't count as a copyright me just saying it yeah very simple idea and I had I made a couple calls once to a couple people but the key my friend was like the way to really make money is you got to print the t-shirts yourself in your you know a garage or I don't have either of those things that's what I mean that's that's what I'm talking about these guys musk and and fucking queer they actually did the thing I just have the idea I need a partner who won't fuck

me so if you know how to make a t-shirt hit me up and you know blow me but see that's the other thing is these musk was an autistic whack job from Africa and he couldn't get laid and he's weird-looking and his name is musk so he had all that against so he has to invent that thing he's got the t-shirt idea you have he's gonna bust his ass to make it happen because he at least you you're a fun guy you can have a great time you can dance you got friends you're funny you got an act so like you don't need the t-shirt really but he needed it that's a good point yeah I needed the jokes right I did that and exactly to each his

anal so everybody's got their their different need right all right well we'll we'll try to figure something out I guess we got this angle now are you scared about the new strain because I want to kill myself over here I put the news on there's a British strain there's a South African strain and then there's a Brazilian stripper and they're like this is this is fucking crazy folks it's scary they want me to double mask now two masks I've never even heard of this strain although the Africans the only one that scares me but this is all news to me this is this is a big thing and by March it's gonna be the dominant

strain it's gonna dominate us and what's that I'm into but I'm shitting my pants over here because I watched the news and there's like a doctor guy nerd with big thick glasses and a mustache he looks like a loser and he says hey the vaccine he's like it might work but we got to make some adjustments to the vaccine oh then the lady's like so would we have to go through all the things again he kind of did the pause you know when like your dentist is like I found a couple abnormalities yeah and you're like is it bad and he pauses he did the bad pause I hate the bad part like is that a pregnant pause or a miscarriage pause this

is a this is a you know the wrong color baby pause like oh I'm not the father pause yeah and I'm not the father pause oh yeah you slept with Reggie pause yeah they take it out and you're like that doesn't look right and yeah I'm not Asian so he did the pause and he's like yeah I want to do some additional testing so we might be starting all over again I'm gonna shoot myself in the tits oh my god I can't do it I'll just I'm gonna move to where do they don't COVID doesn't hit New Zealand right New Zealand and Wuhan is like back evidently they're like there's a whole article in the paper they're having concerts over there or eating

chopsticks whatever I'm going to Wuhan fuck it give me a bat soup and a fried rice and a rickshaw I don't give a shit I can't go through it again this is hell I'm sick of it I have a theory that if you're scared of it you'll get it it's like a horror movie interesting I think the people that don't aren't scared of it get it but then nothing happens they're just kind of like I was sick for a couple hours whatever well well you know me I mean I feel like I had it in March and then I think I got it in July according to the Tuesdays when or October whenever I was in Bridgeport and I had that fucking meltdown in the

hotel room where I couldn't get warm and everybody's like oh that was COVID you just had a 12 hour of COVID bug I'm like all right well then it ain't so bad for me so I'm gonna keep working yeah it's a strange thing I think I might have had it in March too cuz I cough twice it cleared my throat once but yeah I don't know what to think I'm at the Village Underground tonight though you can stream the thing on mint comedy.com they're doing the VU you do a rapid test and then they put everyone in there and I don't know what's what anymore oh man I did I did one of those it was in a warehouse though the VU is gonna be

amazing you're gonna be back on that stage in front of those bricks baby wow I can't wait I'm very excited it's gonna be a fun night a fun show I mean I'm nervous cuz last time they did one you were on Liz told me for a half hour they hired nurse ratchet and she shoved a fucking two by four up your nose it wasn't pretty Chris D cried Kiersten almost ate her out it was it was awkward they put they do the you know the crazy long cute tip with the long wood and then you go geez that was hell and then they do the other nostril I can't do it if they pull out that long thing I already told Liz I'm like you better get

someone that's not in the story you were telling me I want the one people are talking now they put it just they barely put it into your nostril and then they swab and pull a booger out that's what I need yeah they usually give you like a little rim job but they did it to Matteo and he hated it then he liked it so I don't know it felt like aggressive and unnecessary like you just went up my asshole with that nose thing and now you're doing it again and even harder and he would seem to enjoy it I don't know I'm glad I got it over with yeah I'm scared to death I was hoping that I don't know she claims she got a nice

lady this time I don't is it like strippers can you look in their profile and see how long their fucking sticks are no no it's just a fat Hispanic lady in scrubs and a face mask and that's that's it she's like a lunch lady with a cute tip and it's a bummer oh god I don't want anything to do with it I hate this lady already it takes three seconds and just got to suck it up I think it's kind of like a woman with a virginity like the hymen breaks you bleed it hurts but after that it feels good all right well I'm doing that I'm there tonight I don't know I don't think you get tickets but you can stream it I think it's

mint comedy.com so check that out and then tomorrow night I'm in Royersford which I can't wait it's gonna be one of the shows it's me Ronan Sarah Cantor I love the shows and this is the thing I miss the most even though I've had it a few times during COVID I love the whole show in the car nothing better you're all in the car together we're driving down and you know how much I love that Royersford gig so it's not too late to get tickets obviously have you seen it with the with the dome I did the first dome show yeah that was that one where it was raining and muddy and Louie blew me oh yeah yeah yeah wow it that it's a

hot hot crowd and soul Joel man he just really did something special over there I know we blow him all the time but he deserves it it's probably the best show in the country outdoors yeah I'm pretty excited about it and then I'm doing my plugs now all of a sudden but now I'm going to Key West next we are a couple weeks February 11th to the 13th and I'm just shitting my pants on that one because everyone's like Florida's crazy they're all raping each other down there no one's you know worn a mask since Christmas so get ready for that I'm at Key West comedy so don't don't come near me everybody because after that I'm

going straight to South America to see our old friend Ari David Shafir I'm gonna go find this son of a bitch I'm terrified not to not even of COVID just because I don't trust Ari he feels like the kind of guy who's like I I booked a jungle tour or some shit and it's like we got to carry machetes or whatever it is but I'm excited but Carmen San Diego you're everywhere well I'm excited to go because I you know I went to Peru years ago I was with you right before you remember and it was like that hap hap happiest time of my life and so it's my my big triumphant return to South America but now Brazil has this like

super fucking bug or whatever and I don't think they have any hospitals in South America so no no Wi-Fi either I think they like put paint on your face and dance to cure you I don't know what goes on down there so I'm scared to death but the real thing I'm afraid of is going from Florida directly to South America because I assume I'm gonna get COVID in Florida and then die in South America like a fucking lunatic yeah I could see that you might get it on the flight Florida it's a it's like Burning Man down there people are running around shirtless in the streets and they're eating rabbits and you know fucking

kids but I will say this I would be nervous about Ari because he's been there for six months living in a hut on a cliff you're gonna show he's gonna be like Brando and apocalypse now it's gonna be one shadow on him you know he's gonna be like yeah you showed up he's gonna have face paint on and shoot you with a machine gun and a robe well I didn't even want to go but he's like yeah fucking remember you said you're gonna come and then you know what I hate to be the guy that says he's gonna go cuz he said like 150 people said they were coming no one's coming no it's like you know an orgy at my house no one comes

but you know like I kind of like I feel like I got bullied I was like of course I'm coming and then you ever been like in line at like a thrill ride and you don't want to go but you just keep you don't want to back out you just keep getting closer and closer to the front next thing you know you're like upside down with your tits off that's how I feel that's a good analogy but you know you're gonna love it you know it's a little shaky it's a little nerve-wracking you're gonna get on that flight right when you land in wherever the hell he is Bosnia I don't even know you're gonna fucking whoa you're gonna put a pair of

shorts on and a Hawaiian shirt and drink some fucking ayahuasca and you're gonna have a blast yeah I'm excited I mean like I said last time I went to Peru I was going to see my ex-girlfriend she had been living down there but she was a very smart wise she didn't make a lot of bad decisions she was attractive you know but Ari being your tour guide I mean forget about it I feel like he's gonna be on mushrooms he's gonna be you know blowing a tribesman and I'm just scared to shit but he's got a dame down there and she's pretty squared away so hopefully that'll help I guess I don't know we'll see Wow I'm proud of you man

that's a big jump and but this is what we should be doing I mean it's where we're stuck in our tiny apartments touching our assholes so good for you going down there well down there it feels a lot less dangerous COVID wise than America I mean like where I think we're like dominating the the COVID situation as far as having it we're we're heading towards 500,000 deaths I think South America's got like 11 I think outside of Brazil which is where I'm going yeah well half of them live outside and they they you know eat in the ocean and all that so they know they live in a tree they're pretty you know

it's all sunshine and beach where we're in the cold here so everybody's staying inside and giving it to their aunt right and I think we're gonna be pretty isolated out in the jungle or the woods or whatever there is down there so I'm excited it feels like you know like I said I mean South America's the coolest place I've ever been in my whole life so it's exciting to go back you feel like alright I feel like you know rocky or something yeah yeah well you're a little older a little wiser a little gayer now you're gonna go back with new fresh glasses and a type 2 mouth and do it up how many days I think a week six

six days six days three nights something like that that was a joke but yeah that'll be fun holy hell I mean can you do a pod we're gonna have to I just realize that now we're gonna have to stockpile a couple episodes I'll be in Florida before I could pod there but I'll I've excited because I'll finally come back with some stories for God's sakes yeah every podcast I'm like I bought new sneakers and got a haircut I gotta I'm gonna go and really try to you know fuck some some ladies some pick me yeah but I think I mean I've done Ari's pods and see he's been in his hut you've done his pod

Tim Dillon did his pot so he's got the setup I just don't know if you want to because I mean six days again after the third day gonna be like alright I've done eight pounds of mescaline I've eaten 19 pineapples you know I've done I've killed a pig and whatever so like maybe a pod there is not a bad idea yeah maybe if we if we got the time we might try to squeeze one out a bonus at the very least we'll call in and it'll be you me Ari and Sarah and you know it's please this is the only time I'm worried about your sobriety you know you're a tough cat to your strong willed you got a decent piece I'm like I'll be in a

baseball game we're all chugging beers but he's fine but this is like I mean you guys are gonna be drinking jungle juice oh please that's not terrifying I'm not drinking anything I'm bringing all my own pepsis I'm gonna bring peanuts and peanut butter and jellies it'll be great I mean I went on a world tour in a private jet to 28 countries and only did coke twice so I think I'll be fine all right alright well oh you said something made me think of something else Mike Cronin he said something that was similar to him and I was gonna yeah I was gonna swing that into I was just in Oklahoma City with Mike I'm trying to

think of what I said that was close to him gay chunky yeah I can't remember but either way yeah good egg good egg one of the best eggs sweet sweet chubster and we I'd never really met him I don't think or at least never worked with him and I flew down okay see by the way Oklahoma City it's one of those cunt cities to get to it's like 19 flights a layover a greyhound and a hitchhike brutal what how did you we don't they don't have direct flights that surprises me sorry I just fucking had like a stroke there that's why I says me that you can't fly direct because I go by everything by sports I'm like they got a

basketball team and they had a bomb can't you yeah no it was it's one of those flights where you're looking on orbits and you're like God damn these these options it's like okay you leave at 6 a.m. you landed 4 30 the next afternoon like wait what you know and you got to sleep at the airport and go to Dallas Fort Worth whatever it is so it's like a 6 a.m. flight out of JFK I hate JFK and then you go to Charlotte for three days and then you go to ok see and you get there right before showtime and you haven't showered it sucks so just the flight there by the way flights now they used to be a dream traveling with the

COVID now every flight is full oh geez I well I think Delta still does the seat between that's something I don't know I don't feel like it doesn't matter at least you got a hundred people on a plane I don't know what the seat between is only three feet why I don't know what's what with these fucking regulations I agree you're in a cigar tube with 200 people and you all take your mask off to eat a pretzel every 10 minutes what's the difference between that and you can't go to school isn't that the worst school's got a window here's what I think I think would be helpful if everyone was on the same page that might be helpful but you

know I'm crazy yeah yeah yeah no page we don't read we got bad pages yeah paging dr. Herman remember that no that was be we's big adventure ah yeah it was a deep deep old Tim uh Tim Burton oh yeah he's good he's good he's got a few flop aroonies but fine good overall I like big fish and Batman there you go good that was my gay porn duo so uh what was I talking about oh yeah I don't know meat okay see get in there get in there by the way you know you fly to Dallas and you get on another flight everything's delayed everything's queef and you suck flying there was hell on the second flight I had the most white trash couple

on the planet like this was right out of central casting the guy with the cowboy hat button down unbuttoned here he's got the skins that skin that's been just ruined by the sun oh yeah Florida skin his neck skin looks like a ball bag and he's brown and golden and weird colors and he's got the mask like over here and then he's got the boots on with the bad jeans and he's got the belt buckle he sits down he's like you're in my seat and I was like no I'm not he goes all right then he's mad at me and then he sits down and then his disgusting pig of a wife comes on and she's like where am I sitting man put your mask on man I'll

fuck you with your man like total anti-maskers just a nightmare and then she sits next to me of course and she pulls out this fucking tuna sandwich out of a plastic wrap I mean it was a nightmare and she's yelling at an old man Reggie like hey how do you get the TV to work I'm like Jesus of all the flights all the seats I gotta sit next to he ha over here brutal I thought there was more than that first of all I mean you don't bring tuna on a plane I can tell you that you got that right two-nighted it was brutal and the reason that airplane snacks are all even smelling your pretzels nuts whatever that

other bullshit is they give out on Delta they call a cookie you know you can have fish and seaweed and fucking you know baloney on there yeah yeah it was crazy and then eventually you know the flight stopped boarding and the cowboy had a seat next to him so I go hey why don't you saddle up next to old dosy dough over there and and she was like I'm comfortable I was like all right all right so I eventually moved up one of the waitresses or whatever you call the sky waitress was like hey there's a seat up there if you want to and I was like I appreciate it she was black she got it you know it's sitting next to you know

cuck dynasty so I had to go up there but man what is that where nobody else noticed her I clocked her at 12 o'clock two hours before she walked on the plane and then she sits right next to me it's brutal it's the law of attraction or Murphy's law or you know LA law whatever it is some kind of Murphy Brown it just always seems to happen when you're when you're traveling I guess but and there's more and more of them in in this great country of ours everywhere you look there's some fucking fat the stink wad who hasn't showered since you know George McGovern ran and they wear weird shoes and they got you know brown socks

it stinks yeah there's a whole bunch of stinkers in this country a lot of stinkers she had the rhinestones and a lot of denim it was it was bad news she had the limp like you say and oh god it was the longest four hours of my life but we got there and I gotta say cool town you know a bit of a sleepy town you know but by the way okay see Garth Brooks is from there flaming lips and Kings of Leon oh no kidding that's pretty good pretty good and a lot of athletes and stuff so they got a decent alumni and just a cute you know blue collar hard work in steel town a lot of brick everything's very low they got one much

there used to be what's that sorry I said there's not as much as there used to be was an okay see bombing yeah that was what I named my show was the the okay see bombing and but man what a great club Mike was great we had a good hang this guy Cameron hosted and just one of those good clubs it gets it and even the posters like upcoming you're like oh they they know who to book these guys book well they have good taste and man great crowds we sold out a couple just a hot hot weekend all around too much booze but a great weekend yeah that sounds fun I wish I could go do that the club I gotta have my agent hit them up I've never

even heard of this club you said you were there and I was like I never heard of this place but it's brand sounds great and then meet if I'm not mistaken Mike I know him as meat but he had the what do you call it the vaccine shoved up his ass correct I mean that's exciting I that's what I want is just that vaccine and then I'll do a slip and slide up Fifth Avenue yeah I'd love to get the vaccine and he's got it and he's free as a bird he's you know good getting massages was happy endings and eating at a buffet you know no sneeze guard he's living the dream and we get drunk every night and share the joint and share the

bottle you know he didn't give a fuck so yeah great great hanging just that hang it so necessary staying up to five in the morning shitting on bad comics and talking about your wife sucking and all that and just a just a good clean cut weekend then the flight back was 17 hours of hell that sucks I don't miss that part of it I'm not looking forward to Atlanta to South America flight but I'll get it done and I'll tell you how I'll get it done folks I'll be nice and comfy in my sheath underwear that's right Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by sheath underwear she is I don't even know how to get started on this you're wearing sheath

right now is that what's happening are you showing me your dick you got the sheath look at that I got the sheath I got a nice t-shirt my wife got sent some like booty shorts these are these are sexy they're like white velvety I don't need to know how to describe it nylon booty shorts and they just hug the rump and you can kind of see through them just a little bit very sexy they might have been meant for me I can't tell but it's got a nice sports bra too I got a sweet t-shirt working out in it it's got the ball pouch that it's got a pouch for your balls and a pouch for your dick and I always talk about this

I'll have my dick in that silky smooth pouch I pull it out and it's like pulling your cock out of a big juicy nice tight pussy which I don't think is what they were going for but it's great what it does is it keeps your balls and dick separate it's nice and supportive it's sexy looking I really do love it it's the only underwear I'll wear these days the idea of the sheath came from its founder US Army soldier Robert Patton during his second tour in Iraq that's right two tours if it works at least two tours maybe did more I don't know if it works in the sunblasted deserts of Iraq you know it'll work wherever you live

mark tell them how to get this great underwear you got that right as you can see I'm wearing them now love the sheet they sent my lady some booty shorts as well she looks like a little boy in it which is a huge turn on go to sheath underwear dot com an order with promo code twos gaze this guy gets it twos gaze to get 20% off your first order and sheath underwear is 100% money back guarantee but you're not setting these puppies back that sheath underwear dot com promo code twos gaze support the show by supporting them get sheath underwear and let them support your Cajones I'll tell you what you're gonna need some flexible

underwear when you once you take a nice blue chew that dick is gonna be shooting out of those underwear Tuesdays with stories is brought to you by blue chew the first chewable dick pill it's this stuff is great I mean we all have had limp dick I assume I mean I'm in my 50s now and you know I've been having sex with my wife since 1988 so I mean I really got a stick you know a can of Pepsi up my ass to get hard or I got to take a blue chew which is a challenge it has it has the same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and see Alice you can take blue chew anytime day or night even on a full stomach that's right you eat a nice

big sandwich your wife maybe she wasn't eating cuz you don't let her and she says hey you want to bang you say yeah I'll just pop a blue chew it's fast and easy blue chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy and it ships right to your door in a discreet package and after you chew the blue your package will be anything but discreet it'll be bursting out of your panties tell them how to do it mark love the blue chew you know me I'm Ole Mr. Softy and this shit works quick it works well and no side effects or anything by the way the

blue chew lady is pretty hot too you have to call and do a FaceTime call with the little doctor lady and she's in a lab coat with cans and you talk about your dick it's great hands so even that's fun right now we've got a special deal for our listeners visit blue chew dot com I get your first shipment free when you use our promo code Tuesdays just pay five clams and shipping again that's B L U E chew dot com promo code Tuesdays to try it free you can't lose blue chew dot com finally a website that can give you an erection sir yes ma'am all right well it's good to have you back in the saddle again oh yeah good to be back I mean

New York so what's going on do you live in Brooklyn what's happening well I'm getting a dick load of reviews and results and what do you call it recommendations and yes no maybes don't do it you should definitely do it I got a couple comics going what are you crazy you gotta do it that's the next spot New York is blowing up it's gonna be a huge of the Barclays blah blah blah then I got a couple people going what are you nuts you got the best apartment you live in the best location you got the peep peep peep peep so I don't know what the hell do I think you know we talked about it last week obviously but also just you

got a picture right now there's no comedy cellar just think about think about all the nights in the last 10 years we've been at the comedy cellar yeah and you go where you going buddy and I'm like where am I going I live 90 minutes from here I gotta go home you're gonna live 45 minutes from the cellar you won't get those last-minute spots hey we need you somebody dropped out and then you hang until three in the morning you're gonna take a cab it costs 300 bucks or whatever maybe you drove because you have a garage or whatever but you got to find parking the whole thing it is so valuable to just what are you 12 paces

from the comedy cellar for God's sakes a stone's throw whatever that means that's how far you could throw a stone okay well then I'm further we're actually closer than a stone's throw I could throw a stone past this underhand you get an underhand toss stone throw away yes like a lesbian with a softball I mean yeah I'm right around the corn and the riverbed so I yeah that that's a good point I didn't factor that in I'm just I'm thinking about those amenities I'm thinking about that garage imagine living in New York pulling your fucking centra right up to the asshole the building and just going up the elevator

and you're in yeah that's pretty good cuz I got a garage and I got a garage story by the way I gotta tell I have one story and this one's gonna drive you cuckoo bananas you're gonna fire bomb this place after I tell you about this story but oh boy lay it on me fatty I got a garage but my garage is my garage is further from my house than the comedy cellar is from your house wow man when you put it like that see you make a great point there Tubbs because you're basically saying the world is shut down so living there now in these times is pretty good in that place because what the hell am I doing I'm not I'm zooming

everything exactly so when the world opens it's good to be here exactly I mean just think about whatever it is six months from now eight months three weeks whatever it is when the comedy cellar is back to do it eight shows a night I'm telling you I've lived this feeling of when I am done at the comedy cellar I gotta leave because I got a fucking journey home and once I started making some money I just take a cab because the train is just brutal forget about the train but it's 40 bucks every night every single night the cellar pays me 40 bucks and then I hand it to the cab driver like a half hour later wow that

is that adds up there sloppy jalopy but now you got the the vehicle so are you gonna drive in now I drive in right now I drive because it's great I mean once again COVID I'm fucking swinging lanes I'm smashing into mailboxes for fun I love it I mean parking I did the the three monkeys show again I pull right up in front of the club and toss the guy my keys one of the one of the monkeys yeah just go right up there you see I think it's Davey Jones is that his name yeah the monkey yeah Davey Jones Davey Jones and Nez Smith Michael Nez Smith one of them invented whiteout or his dad Elon musted yeah one of them I think it's

Michael Nez Smith his family invented whiteout well that's racist but either way that's amazing any tits I'll start driving and I like driving but man the all I've ever I've ever met in the village I just think God think about Mark and Wolf and Lynn Coplitz these people that get to walk to the comedy cellar yeah all right that's two cents yeah no it's a good sense it's two I counted it it's makes sense you got something there you I never thought of it like that the world is closed right now so of course you want to live in a palace when the world's closed but when it's open you want to be in the heart or at least I do

right fart all right so let me tell you about this parking garage situation hit me reflux so Saturday I'm doing the three monkeys gig again and they were thrilled that we talked about how wonderful the room is nah I thought we weren't supposed to give it away I was I was keeping a lid on it maybe right shit I think it's cool I mean they they sell it out every night and it seems a against code yeah I think boy I don't know I don't know either hold on I got a far it's gonna be funny I think maybe let's see oh that was great it was the second one I think it was a shit honestly but you put a tag on it felt a little leaky so

okay so Saturday Sarah and I are on the gig and I you got to text the garage you text car and then it usually text back it says eight minutes or whatever that's how long it takes to walk over there about and this time it says 14 minutes so like that's interesting Saturday whatever so we go to Starbucks I get my cookie I shove that my ass I get a hot tea I dumped that on Sarah's head we go over there and we get there and a guy has just dropped off his car he's dropping off and then there's a car with tinted windows just sitting there like facing out like this car is leaving yeah the other guy pulls in so when you pull in

usually you just leave the car running there's a guy standing you go hey take it easy and they say see you later but if there's no one there that means they're going to get a car so you got to wait so I always feel for the guy dropping off the car because I'm I'm waiting I got somewhere to be but I'm waiting and I just go they told me it's gonna be 10 minutes 12 minutes I go whatever but the dropping off sucks because you think you're home you know that feeling you've been driving you get to the garage and the nice part about the garage is you just get out of your car and you're home right but when they're not there you

got to sit there and go fuck I'm so close to being home but I don't want to just leave it here cuz it's running it's New York City whatever that's the part of travel no one talks about it those little extra steps that are inevitable but they fuck you every time it sucks so he's sitting there I feel for him and we're in the garage by the way it's Saturday it was like 14 degrees and it's a garage so it's all open it's freezing yeah so we're sitting in there and I'm like what's up with this car just sitting here with the windows tinted that's weird that it's just a car taking up this space and then there's the car

returning and he's waiting he's got a three bags of groceries he's just waiting to get the attendant to come down and go hey I'll set see you later right then another couple shows up and they're waiting for their car oh boy Saturday night rush hour exactly so the garage is all blocked because one guy's pulling in the other cars pulling out but it's just parked there now we got this couple it's Sarah and I and this couple and this guy so there's five of us and we're all just standing here oh boy time is passing now and Sarah has a different gig than me I gotta drive her to her gig at 44th and Lex mine's at 54th and 8th

oh boy time is clicking away my cookies digesting and we're just sitting there and I always try to be patient I'm zend out I talked about the traffic a few weeks ago I've changed yes but transitioned I've only transitioned so much I'm still a man and I start to go all right this is getting what the fuck is this where is the guy yeah I texted an hour ago this five of us sitting here waiting oh we wait for about about 11 minutes the tinted car the door opens it's the parking attendant huh he's on the phone he's just sitting in the tinted window car he's chatting with his with his wife or his dame or his squeeze or

somebody he's just in there chatting doesn't he see though the backup here the the the traffic he doesn't give a fuck he's literally on the phone he gets out and he's like all right that I'll talk to you hangs up the phone it was like a comedy sketch I couldn't believe it I wanted to fucking ring his neck like Homer that's hilarious so he shuts the door and then the the guy with the groceries goes okay good he's like yeah no problem he goes into the big giant elevator and he just pulls my car out it's been sitting there the whole time so he already brought my car down all time my car is just sitting there you

didn't see it no it's in the elevator in the garage is it's it's it's hard to explain so the garage is just like a driveway and then there's a giant car elevator the garage is not seen it's like upstairs I got you so it's like a hidden garage New York is funky it's probably anyone not in a big city is like what the fuck is this yeah yeah it's cookie so you don't see it so it's just been in this elevator the whole time and this guy's literally has five human beings standing outside in front of him waiting he can see all of us we're all checking our watches and blowing each other and he's just on the telephone

I've never seen anything more egregious there's the most New York service moment I've ever seen in my life and wasn't even like I'm so sorry my mother has tit cancer my father's gay nothing he just goes yep did literally said zero things brazen now here's the thing is first of all he's a genius for sitting in the window tinted car you didn't even know he was in there exactly I don't even know whose car it was he's probably sitting in somebody's car yeah and he probably left it there it's like I'm gonna use this as my phone booth for a while this is like my escape but the question is aren't you a little jealous I wish I had

an inch of that that's exactly what Sarah and I said you're like can you imagine if I saw if one person wait I'm not even involved the guy with the groceries I was like I feel for this guy I know that feeling of getting home and here's the thing put in some fucking air pods and just have your conversation while you're moving cars around how hard is that it was like a middle finger right up my ass which I love normally but I had somewhere to be yeah this guy's ice cream is melting here for Christ's sake it's I mean is that the insane it one of the most insane what do you call it services I've ever heard brain yeah

no that's bananas and it's so perfect he's probably a young hip guy with a with a faded haircut and a diamond earring I could picture the guy so perfectly and he just lives his life you know he's like I'll do it when I'm ready yeah I think I don't know it was just the kind of thing of like man what it's like you wish you had that but I'm also grateful I don't have that true it sucks to always be worried about everybody want everyone to be happy and it's it's stressful and anxiety inducing I'm trying to let go of that but at the same time I'd rather be that than like I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck

what anybody else I'm on the phone yeah that guy's gonna die happy that's the day he'll he'll get in more fights and more altercations because of the way he lives but that guy's gonna die way happier than us we're gonna be at the funeral going is it open cask it's a close is everybody okay is that the temperature we're gonna be in the casket dead worrying this guy's living life and he's at the beach every day basically in his head yeah it was just insane and you just kind of go all right well I guess that's we got to just take that one on the chin and if you complain you're the asshole if you know what I

mean so you're a Karen it was strange so but no problem went and dropped Sarah off at her gig went over to three monkeys and that was fun so Sean Patton hadn't seen him in a dog's age yes always a pleasure to see him and then Louie came by he did a set and that was exciting for the kids and good hang Ali Breen was over there she's always a good hang she but Reese wasn't there but but who else was there Chris Murphy saw him again and yeah good good crew over there good group good show and it was really fun and you know we went outside and we you know Louie hadn't been on stage in weeks and I hadn't been on stage before last

week and quite a while and you have that thing where you're shoving each other going on it was so fun oh my god yeah crazy we're gay yeah and that show is also fun because it's it's a real bar show vibe like you got to kind of get them you can't just go out there and they're applauding like crazy like one guy's ordering the other guys on the phone he's sitting in a tinted car he doesn't give a fuck so you got to like grab them and when you kill in one of those shows it feels way better yeah I gotta say it was it mirrored the week before where the first show was good and fun and the second show was like just

tough sledding I mean I they hated me it was like I did a joke where you know I did this joke about you know I have an app that tells you how many times you picked up your phone and I'm like well that doesn't do anything it should be repercussions if you pick up your phone a hundred times we send a dick pic to your mother and zero what they were I mean actual zero like they were like dick pic to your mother what why would you do that that's what I'm saying they're a little dumber they're like why would you do that you're like what's a joke I'm some joking I mean saying an extreme thing to elicit laughter it would be

unpleasant to have a dick pic sent to your mother that's why yeah and yeah I'm talking zero no nobody went haha it was just zilch yeah after that you're like I don't know what you want from me like what do I do here I told you a joke I got no response the joke usually works so where do we go from here yeah that was tough but still a great hand great to see everyone they got great food there and yeah yeah yeah it's nice it's a good time and it's again it's just good to get up and good to see comics and bullshit and also I feel like comics have to talk about they we just talked things out so just sitting around with a bunch of

comics talking about COVID actually is is almost it's a relief yes cathartic that's the word thank you cat catheter but yeah it's fun yeah no I loved it it was exciting so go check that out and if you want to see some live comedy come to Royersford tomorrow night for fuck's sake or Key West comedy February 11 to the 13th yeah let me just get out of here on this we got a couple more minutes I forgot to say this about Oklahoma City five shows killer whatever one night it was a drunk that that town boozes they get after it out there it's a big drunken cowboy riding a bull rodeo town and they get sauce and Saturday late show great

show it was rowdy but good rowdy but it was one of those shows were like every pause somebody would go woo oh you're like I'm pausing you queef give me a second to then a lot of this comedy and you're like ah here we go and then you hear the glass shatter off to the left you're like oh great and then this was a new one first time for me stage right all the way against the wall high top table caught on fire what a basket of something or other with that wax paper and a bunch of napkins I guess somebody took a quick toke or was or smoking free base or whatever the whole table catches on fire so now you got to address it so I'm

like what it was Richard Pryor next you I'm trying to make it funny you know you hear a bunch of women go like oh you know and then the waiter runs over and a bouncer runs over and they start putting napkins on it it gets bigger oh my god napkins on a fire that's insane I'm yelling rape but a crowded church whatever it is and then one guy eventually like that the smart guy gets up and pours a beer on it goes out wow good thing you didn't pour you know whiskey on it or whatever that's oh yeah so what was I mean was it a couple a couple of greasy pizzas or what crazy hamburgers what did they find did you get like a diagnosis or whatever the

fuck you call it verdict well I think the table has those little red candles on it and I think something drooped into it and caught on fire but everybody's so shithouse and on oxy cotton that they just go oh one guy started telling camp stories they pulled out a marshmallow you know I saw a Cub Scout I was like get on it and you know also try to get back into material after that you know that's like trying to watch happy days after your ass is plowed you know it's it's quite a shift what how far into the show were you like we're talking 20 at 10 we were 40 minutes in I'm doing 50 minutes and you know I had to scoop them right

off the floor for here we go let's get that dick hard again and you know you try to come up with fire stuff but you're like was did somebody burn to death it's just I'm trying to think who's a famous person who died in a fire but yeah you're trying to think of jokes and at one point I was so clueless I went the roof the roof and the whole the hook up started chanting it and we sang the whole thing and then I went back to my joke about Uber oh jeez had fired roof chant that's that's desperate desperate it took everything I had not to say you're fired in a Trump accent oh yikes now that sucks but that's always fun

though it gives you something I mean those are the things you you you fucking prayed for when you were new remember when you first featured you had 11 minutes and you're up there and you're like please God let a table catch on fire so I can kill some time up here oh completely completely yeah you hope to get bum rushed or a lady passes out you're like I need something for some content but this was it was annoying but I'll tell you every show and I learned my lesson I was in Tempe the week before I got heckled by some guy and I shut him down like a fucking pro and I remember I was like man that was good I

wish I had that on tape and before the show the producer goes or the manager goes want me to film these we have a rig set up and I go I'm good I'm good always film he asked me in Oklahoma City I said no and then we got the fucking fire table I blew it oh yeah well now it's all content everything's got to be content so you got to film everything I mean yeah you know some of these guys are filming their child being born and putting it on tiktok it's it's the future so kids twerking yeah it's it's brutal but always filming the sad thing is people like the the wacky content the heckle the fist fight the anal they

like that more than the the fucking show well this is what I've been saying this is the one hard thing about a podcast besides my cock is the fans the true that the twos gaze they're so used to comedy they consume every there's such comedy connoisseurs yeah that they're like us with movies like they're like I don't know just didn't have enough and so then they want a gas fire they want a fire leak they want you to fall off they want a fist fight they want the mic to break because just straight old like boy I was fucking my wife and she queefed they're like now we heard that in the podcast we need something and it

it's tough we actually in some ways build like a tougher fan base yeah they're jaded they've they've seen it all they need they need the heroin they need the you know it's like the guy in the bedrooms like Sam Arill's old joke we're like I'm so warped from porn you got to tell me I'm adopted like I can't get off it's the same shit yeah exactly that's how I feel I'm like it's like being a Patriots fan they go seven and nine I'm like you got to burn the fucking stadium down these fucking losers yeah yeah yeah we've gone too far and but have you noticed and we'll get out of here on this eventually things go so far that the

simpler earlier you know original stuff starts coming back you know it all comes back around cyclically like everybody's playing these crazy video games and before you know it the new fad is catching a ball in a cup again on a string right well maybe yeah maybe that sounds good maybe I can do some knock knock jokes next tour and they'll shit yeah hopefully I mean look at podcasting podcasting just basically a bunch of fat kids in Milwaukee sitting on the floor listening to the radio that was like the thing in the 30s I don't even know what we're talking about anymore but this was a fun one I

think I don't know people thanks for listening please go follow us on the things I don't even know anymore it's all so silly do you have that feeling of like what are we gonna do we're gonna do this in our 50s oh all the time all the time you hope you get a pets to or some shit you know you can just ride off that the Bob's Burgers that would be the dream but I mean I don't mind doing a nice theater when I'm eighty-eight you know like a Don Rickles thing but yeah you don't want to be zooming at 71 don't get me wrong I mean this is like the best hour of my week I love talking I love catching up but I have those moments I

feel like a stanza I'm like what are we a big 61 talking about eating my own come and shoving a shoe in my ass this is no way what if we have sons Jerry I know we're gonna be sitting lazy boys with a cardigan on and a pipe going ah we've queef on my salad I guess but either way I'm in Kansas City on Thursday and Des Moines on Friday and Omaha with meat on the 31st Sunday this Sunday I'm all over the road I can't stop Long Island Brian Texas I'm opening for some guy out there and Brian Texas whatever that is good nights and Raleigh you name it funny bone and Dayton some other shit Royersford again oh I'm doing um what's that

called stress factory in Jersey on the the third whatever that is oh I'm in Lafayette all right but yeah stress factor so come on out tell a friend queef it up we got patreon we just did will and grace and trashed it now we're doing curbs soon you're not gonna miss that on the patreon yes patreon Friday also I gotta throw that out there side splitters March 18th to the 20th I keep forgetting to mention it that's my favorite of all the clubs that's not true but it's one of my favorites I do love it and yes go on the YouTube I shot this video with your boy Sal accused that I think is gonna be out this week who

knows but keep editing it was me and Greg Stone it's the funniest thing I've ever done in my life and so go follow me on YouTube that's gonna be out there and I've been doing this podcast with Ron on Joe and Ron on talk movies and it gets ugly people think I'm a movie cunt you should hear from this guy my god I mean the fact that he hates John Candy is still appalling and he should be put down oh you gotta see the comments I had to give all like I had to give a what do you call it a disclaimer like please stop the guy's gonna kill himself oh boy all right well he's uh I don't know he's got some problems he clearly hates

himself but yeah give it a listen get cookie and does it feel good to not be the big the big movie villain if he's he's taking the throne well not only that he makes me look like you know George will I'm like a conservative with this guy he's everything's you know the the fabric of our society he's such a liberal that he makes me look like fucking Hannity so I'm loving it really yeah I thought it was a movie pod that's what I keep saying to him he thinks field of dreams is about you know imprisonment and private prisons or something I don't know what's going on but it's worth a listen it's it's really

fun and it's it's it's picking up a little bit on YouTube so go check it out and be nice to the guys a good person and he's smarter than you are probably not you probably well probably you too but probably you know what I mean he's a very smart guy he's very funny and he likes hilarious and so go check it out yeah one of the funniest guys and he'll be in Royersford with me Wednesday and there was something else I was gonna plug I can't remember what it was but YouTube go follow me on YouTube follow the podcast on YouTube and join the Patreon and suck your father's dick yeah get a shirt on T public go to my YouTube I hate

myself out to lunch keep those numbers you're you're cooking on almost two and a half here so the numbers that keep clicking up and I got a pod with Sam where we get drunk and it's called we had to change the name eight times but yeah uh-oh what are you jerking it I was bringing it home I'm doing I'm jockeying oh yeah all right well yeah well you did get it get a get a get a haircut and praise Allah thank you George say cut it you