Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #119 Daddy's Got A Surprise For You!

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Matty J is heading into the jungle!  Yep! That's right. Matty J will be trading the urban jungle for the real thing as a contestant on "I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here!"  So many questions and thoughts...wait, how will Ash cope?!  No need to worry about that—let’s focus on helping Matt bring home the win!  We must first get him primed and prepped for the jungle, and what better way to do that than a food challenge? Oh, and Ash has to do it too! 2025 Raunchy Ranch Calendar IS STILL ON SALE!  https://budgysmuggler.com.au/products/two-doting-dads-raunchy-ranch  Buy our book, which is now available in-store! https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I had the most annoying thing happen to me. What happened? Just a disaster, Ash. I had this new trick that I do with the bins, the recycling, the cardboard, if you will. OK, I will? I water it with a hose. I crunch it down.

Can I say to you that is wrong? It worked well for two weeks. And then obviously post-Christmas, a lot of cardboard to get rid of. Can we stop with the cardboard? See, I agree. Get it out of here. I watered it too much.

And I thought, I wonder if the water's sitting Down below and could I jumped on the bin to crunch it all down I was bringing it back in after the truck came but the bottom half of the bin was just like solid compacted cardboard You got to be careful too, it goes mouldy. Dude, it fucking stinks. Oh, it's so bad for the environment. It makes the cardboard unrecyclable.

If it's wet, soggy and mouldy, you can't use it. It's contaminated if you will. Dammit. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I'm Matty J. And I'm Ash. And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable. And if you've come wanting advice, not from us. Off the back of that bin story, you don't want our advice.

No, no. Just one disaster after another. I know. Ash, before we get into this episode, I need to get changed really quickly. That shirt's a bit crinkly, yeah. Yeah, I like that shirt. I'll be back in one second. Ash!

Yes, dear? Are you ready? I was born ready, my guy. What have you got for me? What am I looking at? What's with the shoes? Are you ready? I was born ready, my guy. What have you got for me? What am I looking at? What's with the shoes? Are they boots? They're boots, my guy.

You're a lollipop man. Is that a high-vis? Ash, I'm gonna just break the news to you quick and fast. That's the way I like it. Laura's pregnant. Is Laura pregnant? No. Oh.

Thank God. I was gonna say. He's Laura pregnant? No. Oh. Thank God. I was going to say. I'm going on a show called I'm a Celebrity. You are not. Shut your fucking mouth right now. It's called I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here. Wow.

And this guy is going to be on it. No you're not. When? This guy is gonna be on it No, you're not when I'm leaving you Very soon. Okay. Well, I need to know what very soon means. I don't work on very soon's I work on dates When you're leaving when you gone? I'm gonna be by the time this goes to air Shut up. I will be in the jungle. Fuck off. Licking zebra anus. That I wanna see. You are not.

Yeah, I... What am I supposed to do? You'll be fine. Although if I vote for you, do you stay? Nah, I want you to come back. Jess, our producer, has been informed. She's known for a couple of weeks. So you kept this from me too.

What else are you keeping from me? You don't wanna know. Ew. Four nights, I'm outta here. Four nights I'm leaving. She's known for a couple of weeks. What else are you keeping from me? You don't want to know. Four nights. I'm out of here. Four nights I'm leaving. So like you said, when this comes out you won't be here. You'll be abroad. I'll be abroad.

Are they still going to South Africa? Still going to, I don't know the exact location. I did have to have a medical and... How'd that go? You're a specimen. It's really fine. The annoying thing about the medical is... You're a woman. No, they, you know, ask all the standard questions. How old you are?

How tall are you? How old were you when you got circumcised? Six. And I said, I am 187 centimetres tall. And they said, we just 187 centimeters tall. And they said, we just have to check this if you want to stand next to the tape measure on the wall. And she goes, oh. And I was like, what's the problem? She goes, it's saying here that you're 183 centimeters.

Either I've shrunk or some doctor, somewhere along the line has given me the wrong measurement. That's good. And I said, wait there. And I like, just fucking extended as much as I could. And she was like, I'll give you 184. And I was like, I'll take it. So what does that make you, six foot? You've scraped in, you're just over. I'm flying past six foot.

Flying is a stretch. All right. You kept it from me. Who else have you kept it from? The kids. I'm not gonna tell the kids. Smart. And is a stretch. You kept it from me. Who else have you kept it from? The kids? I'm not going to tell the kids. Smart. Absent father. They love that. They love that. I just said my plan is the morning that I leave I'm just going to go out to the shops to get some milk. Smart. People have been doing that for generations. Doesn't seem to be causing any issues that I know of. That's my plan. Does your wife know?

Didn't go down well, as you can appreciate. I wasn't sure how to like, because it was just, it was discussions Ash. There were discussions, nothing was locked in. You know, and her first question was, how long will you be gone for? And there are questions that I didn't have answers to. I was like, look, could be two weeks, could be five. Depending on how likable you are, Matthew.

I know, I know. You know, it depends on how much Laura helps people vote for me. Yeah, she'd be like, don't vote, we need him home. Well, she's going to manage my social media. Having deleted your DMs. Yeah, you need to stop sending me those Instagram posts. Of? Cricket.

Wholesome, Wholesome content. I don't send you nerds. Just of myself. I wouldn't be surprised with Laura managing my socials. And obviously she does a good job. I stay in longer. I come out and I'm like, why I've only had one post the whole time I've been away. Laura's like, fuck you.

So Laura's not thrilled about it. And like in the same way that if Laura went to me and said, I'm going into the jungle, I'd be like, what do you mean? Like that's. Well, that was it last year the year before she was on Dancing with the Stars and she was here, but she was so busy. And I remember that time because it was like, fuck. Like, but also with those, like, like I said, that shows, yeah, you're here. You come home. I have no phone. I have no way of contacting. It was like, fuck, like. But also with those, like I said, they show you're here. You come home.

I have no phone. I have no way of contacting. When I go into the jungle, all I'm allowed to bring with me is six pairs of undies and two pairs of swimmers. And that is it. Nothing else. With luxury, man?

You can nominate what you want to bring. So things that I've nominated. Flash life. I asked for an accordion. Do you play the accordion? Not yet. Do you know the accordion? Not yet. Do you know how annoying accordions are? No.

So, okay, so someone got my dad one once for Christmas, and dad plays the guitar, and he thought he could play the guitar and do the accordion at the same time. The most annoying possible thing. Okay, well it's not the only thing I've asked for. I've also asked for... They obviously said no to the accordion. Laura thought this was weird. I asked for the girls pajama tops That's just creepy

It's because I can snuggle with him at night time that we've got the corner The smell of child I thought that was a sweet gesture the smell of child. I thought that was a sweet gesture. The smell of my own seed. Is that weird? Yes, that's weird. The first few things I've asked for are a disaster. It's like asking for... The producers are like, what is wrong with this guy?

I'm like, I don't have that, I want Laura's socks. So I've asked for a few, get to nominate a few different things. So I don't know what's been approved. So hopefully it's not the accordion or my children's dirty clothing. Are you gonna say anything in? Yeah, yeah.

Like what? Yeah, protein bars. How much can you fit up your own? I don't, they don't say. They say it's the natural pocket. That's what I've heard. I, no, I think apparently like Khan in the chef, he smuggled in like a full set of spices,

like taped to his body. Like he was smuggling in heroin. So he would have been like walking in like a starfish. Apparently the thing is the best way to smuggle in any contraband is taping it to your body, apparently. I told you bro, anus. like a starfish. No idea. No idea. Do they give you any like clues? The only clues that have been given are the same ones that they put out to the public. So what if they put in someone you hate? They did say who would be the one person you wouldn't want to have in there and I said... You said Ash.

Pauline Hanson. You know, no? I don't think I'd get along with her. I think you'd hit it off. Do you reckon? Yeah. I'm a lover, Ash. You're a lover most of the time, Matthew, but there is a time in which you change,

and that is when you are hungry. That's my biggest fear, if I'm honest. You're like the old Snickers ad where it's like, you're not yourself when you're hungry. I'm not so scared about the snakes or spiders. It's about... The debilitating hunger. Imagine if someone was cooking rice, okay?

It's the only food that we get each day, and they fuck up the rice, or they spill the rice, or, you know. Who fucks up rice? And it happens, dude, it happens. Maybe they burn the rice, because you're cooking it in an oven, it's not a fire. How will I handle that type of situation?

I'll snap. You will. I will flip out. I've seen it. If that's my one bit of food, I've been waiting hours for it, and I don't get given it, I will really struggle not to flip out. Usually there's my one bit of food I've been waiting hours for it and I don't get given it I will really struggle not to flip out. Usually there's a chef in there. Yes but what if the chef leaves early? Oh you're fucked. Exactly. The only way you can guarantee it not you're not fucking up is if

you just do it but then you don't want to be the that guy who's like I'll do it camp bitch. You don't know what you're doing. You're a camp bitch. Yeah. And then like you expect people to repay you. I think you get jobs. So you like one person's on cleaning the toilets. Feel sorry for them. You know, one person is the chef and you know, you want to give people the chance.

I hope the person who's cleaning the toilets not also the chef. Yeah. I quit coffee though. Headaches? Yeah. Brutal, brutal headaches. I quit coffee though. Yeah, brutal, brutal headaches. Within the first 48 hours I was doubling up on the Panadol and Eurofen, did nothing.

It was so bad. And then I was like, sat down in that seat and it was a 12 o'clock session. And I already had eight hours sleep the night before. I fell asleep the whole movie. You're making me tired. pretty awful. So what clues have they given us? Okay so there is a stadium superstar. That's you, of course. Stadium super, there's always a football player. That's gonna be a footy player right? Yeah. AFL. Stadium AFL. I think it could be, who was the guy who's like a real junkie? He's like, Ben Cousins. Yeah what if it was Jared Hayne?

Yeah, what if it's Jared Hayne? Radio star? Who do you think? Who do we think? I thought it could have been Hugh Zee. Hugh Zee's a good one. He's got no job. Ed Cavali maybe? He'd be funny.

Also lost his job? Also lost his job. Pop culture icon? Pop culture icon. Nikki Webster? Haven't you already been in? No. Nikki Webster.

It'll be Nikki Webster. Reagan. The one that already been in? No. Nicky Webster. It'll be Nicky Webster. Reagan. There is a headline grabbing Olympian. I reckon that'll be the...

The guy who's cock got caught on the pole vault thing. No, the swimmer. The swimmer who said he'd go do stuff and do like the enhanced games. Oh, James Magnuson. Yeah. Gotcha. That's who I think it'll be. Okay.

Football strong man, I think will be Willie Mason. Yeah, that's a good shout. Would have to be retired because it's pre-season. Yeah, so Willie. It would have to be someone like, yeah. Romantic leading man. You're looking at him. Nice.

There he is. So you get to choose what they say is like the clue. No, I think it's- Just a very handsome man. Influencer with a taste for love. I think that's going to be Jess Power. Would you call her an influencer though? She's more of a porn star, isn't she?

She's an influencer. I'm not complaining. You're right. She's an influencer. So a real life hero. I didn't know I was going in. Real life hero. That's a good one. Hang on. But no rescue, I think. Maxi.. That's a good one. Hang on.

Bondo rescue, I think. Maxi. Although he just had a kid. Surely not. I think Hoppo. Any other clues you've got for me, big guy? Stand up comedian. I was thinking.

Do they have an international guest, you know? Well, they have a UK TikToker. Do you know who I reckon it'll be? UK TikToker? Yeah. Because I thought, does it make sense to have someone from the UK on TikTok? Like no one's really going to know who he is or she in Australia. So I think I saw him recently down at Bondi.

Olin. Olin. Olin Tekkers. Yeah. Could be him or James Smith, the PT. Because he's got like two million on TikTok. Yeah, I don't think he would do it. You don't reckon?

I don't think it's really his jam, is it? You think Olin Tekkers? I reckon it might don't think it's really his jam, is it? Olin Tekkers. I reckon it might be Olin. How many has he got on TikTok? He's got a lot. He's currently in England though, so he might be going straight from there.

I reckon that's a good chap. I don't know. I don't find out any of them until we're there on the day in the jungle. Until you're in. Yeah, we did a promo shoot where it was at a studio near the airport and they booked out the entire studio. There's eight rooms in there. And I knew that every room was another celebrity.

But if you had to leave the room, everyone there was working on audio pieces and they were saying, you're given a nickname. So my nickname was Manta. Everyone had their own nickname. So like Manta's going to the bathroom, clearance please. And they made sure no one saw anyone. Dragons headed to the bathroom.

So I don't know who it's going to be until I get there on the day. So yeah, it's happening. So I'm pretty much going to steer the ship for an undisclosed amount of time. Mid February. Does this mean you're going to miss the first day of primary school? Yeah. So I miss, I don't know if you know this, but I'm renovating a house currently. I can't wait to talk to your wife all about it. She will chew your ear off about tile selections.

So we've got the house that we're juggling, so Laura's going to have to do all of that. Marley's starting school. I won't be there for her first day, which feels really strange. And Lola as well. We've just moved her to a new daycare. Well, you are going to know what it's like to be a feel like an absent father. Because you will be absent. Part of me thinks it'll be nice to have a break. Joking as a joke.

You're going to really set some people off with that one. No, it's a joke. You're like, no, up until now, Joking. As a joke. Up until now, I've not really been thinking about it. It's just been like, oh yeah, I know I'm doing it, but that's a future maths problem. But now that it's about to happen. I feel, and also, so Marley started her holiday vacation care at school, so she's already had a little taste of what big school would be like. And Lola started her new daycare, which is just, it's a lot of change

going on right now. I'm assuming Laura will just have to take the grunt of it, right? Yeah, my mom's here, which is handy. And we've got another lady who's gonna help us out, step in in the afternoons. Cause Laura's, she's at the door at like 6.30 a.m. for work. What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do?

You just keep being you. Who am I gonna talk to? No one. I've spoken to Laura, she's gonna jump in and do a few episodes. Is she? Yeah. So me and your wife.

Yeah, it'd be nice. She's a lucky lady. It'd be fun. So she's gonna step in whilst I'm gone. Yeah, it'd be nice. She's a lucky lady. It'll be fun. So she's gonna step in whilst I'm gone. Don't know how long for. I was half expecting you to say, it's gonna be you and Ellie for five weeks. I wouldn't trust my mom in a room with you.

That'd be frazzled. It'll be unhinged. You bully her too much. I do not. Yeah. I do not. Yeah, that's why she's not here. She was like, he's coming.

So you've left it to me to keep the ball rolling. Yeah. Do not. Yeah, that's why she's not here. She was like, he's coming. So you've left it to me to keep the ball rolling. Yep. Instantly nervous about that. One final question. Please. I do have. You are close quarters for an undisclosed amount of time. Where are you supposed to masturbate?

It's a very good question. Very good question. I always thought that. I always thought that about every reality TV show, but... It's a natural good question. Very good question. I always thought that. I always thought that about every reality TV show, but... It's a natural part of life. And we had a final sit down meeting after we did all the promo shoots. And I'm chatting to like the executive producers of the show, like all the big wigs sat down and they said, you know,

we're so excited to have you on the show this season. It's going to be a great season. You know, is there any questions that you have for us? And I'm sitting there talking to four of them and I was like, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. But I was like, but I also want to know. And the only question I had was, I was like, where do you masturbate?

And they were like, ah, they kind of looked at each other and she was like, Glenn, do you want to take this one? What, now? And they were going, oh, you know what, people do ask that, you know, that pops up every now and then. Try to make you feel better. They're like, oh, you left and they're like, are you sure we want this guy? He wants his kids clothes, his wife's socks,

and wants to know where to masturbate. It's a bit much. We've just put in a predator into the jungle. He's got these protein bars, he'd nub his anus. What's going on? They'll melt. Luckily, there are no cameras in the toilet. That's a designated masturbation spot.

So if you'd like to masturbate, they said, you know, you can do it anywhere you like. Can I give you a tip? I thought you'd never ask. Masturbate into the toilet. What else are you going to masturbate? It's much easier. But like, how are you going to do it? Don't do it onto yourself.

What? It's a tip, OK? Just giving you a friendly tip. That's like someone driving a car and you going, hey, here's a tip. Don't kill anyone. Yeah, that's that's a good tip. Keeps everyone safe. Well, I'm not going to go into the toilet and then just sit down and like,

just on myself. Why? People do that. Who is fascinating like that? If you do that, please let us know. Hey, sorry, thank you. I really- You should be, yeah, don't just poo poo my tips. I really appreciate it.

Also, can you do one other thing for me while you're there? When you do go and inevitably masturbate, because I know what you like, please can you announce it to the rest of the camp group that that's what you're going to do? I'm going to call it a jungle Jack. Yeah, just like I'm off to jungle Jack everybody.

Yeah, how many jungle Jacks have you had? Yeah, great. Make this whole thing about masturbation. You hit it here first. My aim is to get one jungle Jack in every week. One a day. There is a lot of downtime. I definitely want to see on TV. You go, well, everybody, I'm off to jungle Jack.

You'll just know. They'll be like, come on, Matt's, Matt's chirpy today. Yeah. What's his forearm? He's bulging. Why does he got come all over him? Anyway, Ash, enough about me. Enough about me.

Thank God. It's time for some questions. Listen to questions. It's my favourite. But I've actually got one myself. That's okay. I'm going to just kick the listeners to the curb. I've got one that I want to ask you.

It's funny. I've got one I want to ask you. Cause you have like four daycares on the go at the moment. Maybe five, sometimes six. I mean, not me personally, but my children are. We've just put Lola into a new daycare. We are three days in and first two days are pretty good. Third day, massive tears on the drop off.

It's tough. They know what's coming by the third day. You know, in like, like now, like our kids are also going to go to primary school, right? They're excited about it until a couple of days in there. This actually sucks. Yeah, and it does, it does. Although now I look back as an adult I'm like fuck school's the best. We sold it in as being

like a really exciting change like over the Christmas period. To Lola. Yeah we're like hey it's a new daycare, a special daycare. New toys. And she was like really? She got there and she was like oh this is shit. Do you have any tips transitioning to a new daycare? How did you go with with Macy and Oscar back in the day? I would say a couple of things. One is time. It's obvious because like unless like she's complaining to you about someone specific and it's real specific something that she doesn't like and you can be like, okay, we need to fix that.

But usually they're just like, I've worked out that you're leaving me here again. It's like starting again. But I would say, let's take a chapter out of our friend, Mr. Luke's book. Yeah. And just do a clean snap. And say, there you go. Because after five minutes, bro, they're fine, man.

I don't know if they are. They are. I believe they sent us a photo they're like she's having a great time and Laura was like she looks like she's been crying in that photo and I was like what are you talking about she did look like she'd been crying in that photo she probably had been and I was like but don't send us a photo like don't be like hey Lola wipe dry those tears smile damn it

Lola wipe dry those tears. Smile, Zappers. It sucks. It sucks. Yeah, it's like. Good thing I'm not going anywhere. What? Because I am. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. Fuck. Any other tips from me? No. Macy is going to a new date, like a daycare, like a, she's moving on from the one that she was at going to the one that Oscar was at. She's a bit older now. It's also cheaper. So I may have more tips after that. Please. But yeah, you just got to-

I'll be all ears when I come back. Stop reminding me that you're leaving. Okay, because you're not just leaving the kids and your wife, you're also leaving me. You're right. I'm sorry. I apologize. And I don't like it. Your question. I don't like that you're rubbing it in.

Sorry. My question is a pretty straightforward question. At what age, Matthew, do you think kids start to understand sarcasm? Marley's just started to understand it. No, she hasn't. She does. Tell me. She gets it.

Tell me. She gets it. So, as an example. Give me one. I think this is sarcasm. I mean, it's not. We went down to the beach and she's like, can you pass me my goggles?

And I said, oh, I didn't bring them. And she was like, I know you're joking, pass them. That's gaslighting, it's different. So she understands gaslighting. She just knows when you're lying. Pretty much. Sarcasm, like, he's a good one. That young, they're so, take everything so.

Seriously. Literal. Yes. I'll say to April, nah. You've got something on your lip, my guy. I think it might be a little bit of oat from your music bar and snuck out It's like yeah, it's cool. I just gave it back in there. It's been looking at me for a while Oh, thanks for telling me

You cannot even know the other day when we had um the taboo in it, and I got the car and I was like Anyway, it's like I'll say to April nah Oscar doesn't like chocolate. Nah, he doesn't like it. What does he say? Who told you I didn't I told you I didn't like it You're like bro. It's called sarcasm or like this morning. I was like, I don't love you. That's not second I was I saying this morning? I was like, oh, they had their breakfast and I was like, are you guys going to, is anyone going to eat this? I'll just eat it then.

Like, and like, no, we're going to eat it. It's like, can you fucking relax? When are they going to stop? Do you know what they remind me of? Oh, those people in comments section who were like, like take everything so literally. Boomers. Yeah. They're pretty much the boom, child boomers. of those people in comments section who boomer than you go all the way around and become a boomer again. And then you end up shitting into a nappy. Full circle. It is the miracle of life. The miracle of life.

Well, Ash, it's been a pleasure talking to you. I think my time here is done. If you have enjoyed this episode. Up, up, up, up, up. Just wait. Yes. Do you hear that voice? Yes.

You might be wondering it is God. I knew God was a woman. It's Jess Morley here, the Two Doting Dads producer. Matty, you are off to the jungle. And one of the best things to come out of the jungle is the challenge around the food. Oh, God. Now, it's not just ordinary food.

It's usually disgusting. I do feel sorry for you. I thought it was a good idea to sort of get you warmed up for it. You've got two plates there. I have two plates here. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not going to the jungle. Let's do it.

I'm pumped. I have two plates. Now, Ash. Yeah? I thought it would be fun to also join him, just so he's not alone. I'm about to vomit already. Can we opt out? Honestly.

Bring it over, Jess. Bring it over. Here we go. Jess, our producer, has lined up a food eating challenge. And I don't like the look of it. She's walking around with it now. She dropped it. And that works for me perfectly fine.

She's rescued it. Is it alive? So Jess, you've given us like a dinosaur egg. I can't. I just... This is called a century egg. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's all in the name, isn't it? I can't.

Alright guys. I can't. Is it boiled or something? You're supposed to take off the shell and then go for it. I can't. I can't. I can't do it. I can't... Come on, this is warm up. I can't. If you can't do this, Matt, you can't do it. I can't. Come on, this is warm up.

I can't. If you can't do this, Matt, you can't. Oh! I can't even look at it. Eat it, eat it Ash. Have a bite, have a bite. No. Have a bite.

I can't. Bite it, bite it. Okay. It just smells so bad. What does it smell like? Smells like just bad feet bad feet of the that's been decaying Sweating ash always makes out as if he's like the tough guy, but then you realize that he can't eat a black egg Ash always makes out as if he's like the tough guy, but then you realise that he can't eat a black egg. Go.

It smells like an old pond. You know, like come across like someone's got an old pond in the backyard. I can't. Yeah. It's got a marine smell about it. See, the thing is with these eggs, you're not supposed to eat it the way that you're about to eat it. You're supposed to slice it up and put it into other things. Like into the bin.

Take a bite, take a bite. I can't. I can't do it. I can't. Guys, both of you need to go for it at the same time. I can't do it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. You have to do it. I don't have to do it. I don't. As your producer. I have free will. Matt, don't. Don't.

You don't even know what it tastes like. What if it tastes amazing? Ah! It's so salty. Ah, so Matt... Ah! Oh! My flostash. I'm so sorry. I'm out. I'm out. You didn't even go for it.

Nah. I'm so sorry, I'm out. I'm out. You didn't even go for it. I can't, the texture on it, it's like biting into pure mold, look at it. But I'm not the one going into the jungle and I still at least bit it. Okay, so Matt's about to take his bite.

Come on then, if you can do this, you can do anything. I reckon you'll win. I'm just glad that you put... Go! Go! Fight and chew! Ah! LAUGHTER I can't fucking do it.

Go, go! GRUNTING Oh, man. GRUNTING Oh! Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Fucking hell. Off you go. I'm a bit worried about you, Matt. I don't know if you'll be able to survive the jungle. Straight into the bin they go. Look, I think if you are hungry enough you eat that. Very true. That was, that's foul.

Alright, I've got another plate for you. Are you ready? Jess, what's this? What is this? What do you think it is? Fish. It's eel. I think you should both do it together.

Ash, how are you doing? This is not going to go. As a man who doesn't have seafood for Christmas. Yes. Okay, ready? Well, maybe we'll have eel from now on. Three, two, one. That's actually pretty good.

I don't know about Ash though. Guys, he's not doing very well. I didn't... He was brought up by chicken nuggets, wasn't he? It's nice. I like that. Matt's okay. Matt likes it.

I think it's pretty good. Ash, try it again. It's okay. Matt likes it. I think it's pretty good. Ash, try it again. It's a bit like cat food. Do you think you'll be able to have the food that's on offer at I'm A Celeb? No, not at all. I am absolutely 100% fucked in the jungle. I'm so glad I'm not going.

All right, Ash, let's get out of here. Jess, it's been a pleasure. If you've enjoyed this episode, or any of the food. I haven't. I bloody well have. Please subscribe, review and leave us some comments and also follow us on social media. These videos of us eating will be online. I will see you guys after the jungle. Wish me luck. Yes, good luck. I miss you all.

Good riddance, I say. Goodbye. Goodbye, everyone luck. We're gonna miss you. Good riddance, I say. Goodbye. Bye. Goodbye, everyone. See ya. Bye. Bye. MC.

Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.