Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #62 Juggling Parent Life, Anniversaries and Raspberry Kisses With Laura Byrne

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

OUR KIDS BOOK IS FINALLY AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER HERE! Guess who's made her way onto the podcast, FINALLY.  Laura Byrne, Matt's lovely wife, is in the house, and it looks like Ash is third wheeling for this week's episode.  The Johnson family have a new family member they'd like to introduce you to. Lola has shoved something up her nose, and Laura shares how she juggles mum's life, work and wife's life.  Ash also has a dilemma on his hands – which anniversary should you celebrate? Wedding or First Date?  Slide into our DM's @twodotingdads with any parenting question you need answered by a couple of doting dads. If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  Email: [e-mail]  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ready that's still it's not that great that's a fucking good clap I got I'm gonna wake the kids up

guys you're gonna you're gonna wake the kids up sorry fuck is wrong with you guys don't bring Ash over again

I love how relaxed you are when it's not your podcast no if it was her podcast she's just like guys get it get it sorted we're on a tight. I don't know if it was her podcast. She's just like, guys, get it sorted.

We're on a tight schedule here. Stop making me nervous. Ash has got a bedtime of what? What time are you in bed, Ash? I'm way past my bedtime now. You're talking to delirium right now. Hi, delirium. I'm delirium.

I'm delirium. Lovely to have you here. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I'm Matty J. I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if you've come with the one hope of having any type of advice. Sorry. Sorry about that.

Oh, my God. You ruined the intro. So we've given away the secret. There is what I would call a man in the bushes. And that's Laura Byrne. Tonight I'm having a sleepover at laura's house that man also lives in i am here i am here in the house as well just in case people like there's a long story why i am recording from the car and ash is inside the house i've moved in peeling back the layers of how you guys do this podcast it's it's astounding that you managed to get an episode out each week. Thank you.

Astounding. That's the biggest, best compliment we've ever had. So, look, Laura is here. But before we go any further, we are, all three of us, even Laura's cracked one. Must taste good. You've already had yours. And, Laura, just so you know, this is a point of the podcast

where we thank our sponsor, which is Stone & Wood. Ah, the old Kinterland Hazy Pale Ale, hey? I've had a heap of friends since it's become a core range actually reach out to me and say, what's that hazy like? And I go, it's in my top three. How would you describe it? I would describe it as a Hinterland Hazy Pale Ale. Hazy and pale?

Hazy and pale. With a hint of land? Aromas. Okay, Laura, you have to try and guess. One of the type of hops that they use in this beer. What's a hop? Wrong. What's a hop?

Galaxy. Galaxy hops. What the fuck is a galaxy hop? Anyway. Do you like the beer? It's out of this world. There she is. She can stay.

So, Stonewood, we are drinking a hazy paler. It is a core range now. It is the Hinterland hazy paler, and it gets its name from the lush hills of the Tweed Valley. I do like Tweed heads. Very nice. Yes, which is just north of Byron Bay, and it's a beautiful drop. And we thank them, as always, for making this episode possible.

Give me one flavour. Have a sip. I didn't realise this would turn into a beer tasting. It is. And we thank them as always for making this episode possible. Give me one flavor. Have a sip. I didn't realize this would turn into a beer tasting. It is. I thought I was giving parenting advice, but okay. Could be peach, could be apricot. It's tropical.

We'll take it. Any, any, any way. Laura's here. I'm only here because Ash is staying over the night and I was sitting on the couch and they were trying to record a podcast episode and then they were debating as to whether to include me in the start or not and then somehow I'm here. You are. You're in the thick of it.

Well, we thought it would be awkward to record this with you on the couch. And pretend like I'm not here. And then bring you in halfway. So we'll just say, we'll bring you in from the start. And the issue also is that you watch videos on your phone extremely loud. True. Like a 65- old man it's because i i'm actually a bit deaf so if you're not on the podcast you just you'd be making a

racket in the corner part of the reason why i wanted you here is because i knew as soon as i bring this up i knew that you would perk up and you'd be like that's not how it happened but ash you when you arrived here tonight you'd have noticed there's another person slash animal in the mix. Yes. Where is she? I sat down on the couch and looked to my left and there was a cat. It was a magnificent pussy sitting there.

It's the hairiest pussy in this house, I would say. I wouldn't, to be honest. Oh, God. I feel sorry for you, mate. See, I don't know if I mentioned this. Real women have hair, Ash. Do we need to get into that debate? Let's not go there.

Sorry. All right, that's enough of Laura. I know. She's like walking around in a caveman ear and we've all got bushes. When I was in Vegas, Laura decided without any, I don't know if you asked me or not, decided that it would be great for the family to get a cat. So we have adopted a cat. When we adopted that, it was a kitten, not a cat, it was a kitten. It was recently born. You can't just take the kitten. She's currently 10 weeks old. Her name is Raspberry. She's beautiful. And you went to Vegas. And so

your ability to have a say in things kind of went down a little bit in that moment. So I decided to get a cat. And all of a sudden, here she is. It's not like I was in the Alps, in the Andes, doing a trek without any type of phone reception or internet. I was in Vegas. I bought like 400 plants and got a cat. Let me just see if I can find the cat because the cat just meanders around the house. Who knows where this cat is? I think she's under the buffet.

So just for those listening at home, Matt's just searching the house for a tiny cat. Raspberry is here. She was having a little sleep. I will admit that she is quite cute when she's sleeping. I did take a few photos of her today. I will admit it is nice. It is nice so far take a few photos of her today. I will admit, it is nice. It is nice so far having a little baby in the house. Oh, settle down, pal. Okay. What do you mean by that, pal?

I just mean it's cute. It's a cute kitten. That's it. Hey, I was driving home from daycare yesterday. Stuck in traffic. No, traffic was actually pretty good. School holidays. Great. It's a dream. It is the absolute dream. And Lola was in the back of the car. And normally at this point, she's screaming about something.

But she wasn't screaming, which was strange. She was just making a noise. And she was going. She was sighing. Just out the nose. Yeah. And I thought Marley was doing it the other day. Do you remember?

We thought it was funny. Marley did it. Just like a strong exhale of the nostrils. Yeah. And I thought Marley was doing it the other day. Do you remember? We thought it was funny. Marley did it. Just like a strong exhale of the nostrils. Yeah. Like a flare? Like a. Well, I couldn't quite figure it out. I could just hear it over the cocomelon that was blaring in the car.

You didn't ask to check. You didn't think to say like. What's on with it? Hey, Lola, what are you doing, babe? So I did. Thank you very much. So then eventually we stopped at a red light and I was thinking, I'm going to suss out what's going on here to make sure she's okay.

And I looked behind me and I could just see like a little booger hanging out. Nice. But it would, as she'd go, it'd come out and then she'd breathe in and it'd go back in her nose. Oh, so you did see the booger. I saw the booger. Oh, you saw it.

You fucked it. And then we got home and I pushed one nostril and I'd say, come on, Lola, breathe out. And then at this stage, you came outside. Because I am the preferred parent. So Lola wants nothing. I'm well aware of this. I know.

I'm sure Matt's, it's been a great trauma in our house. When you're not there, I'm the preferred parent. It's been like a great trauma for Matt because Lola doesn nothing. I'm well aware of this. I know. I'm sure Matt's, it's been a great trauma in our house. When you're not there, I'm the preferred parent. It's been like a great trauma for Matt because Lola doesn't want anything to do with him. And she always prefers mom at this age. And so Matt parks the car in the driveway and he's called me and said, can you come down and help me get the girls out of the car? Fair enough. So I come downstairs and I go straight to Lola's door.

And there was no sniffing. There was no huffing there was no anything she's fine what do you think it was ash crayon no she looks me dead in the eyes she says in in perfect english yeah mommy i have a button up my nose and i tilted her head back and at that point she breathed out and did the and half a yellow button came and it just like lodged itself half out and then it sucked back in and so I then start panicking I scream lucky I'm trying to pull this button out of her nose and Matt sits there like he had no idea what do you mean there's a button in her nose? You're so lucky, Matt. I was so confused. That could have ended up in her sinuses. I had a friend who sniffed a Tic Tac once and it went into his sinuses.

It's quite hard. There's a whole button in her nose. Her nostril is pretty small. I can't believe we got that out. We did not get that out. You didn't participate in the getting. In the extraction, you had nothing to do with it. I had some level of input.

I would like to say this, though, because I think this is a really important thing to learn on a parenting podcast. If you are a parent, which I'm assuming you are if you're listening to this, and your child… It'd be a surprise how many non-parents listen. No, but if your child has something stuck up their nose, there's a technique for getting it out. Do you know the technique? You blow it out. Blow it out how? With your nose.

But like, what? No, no, no. If you're the. But blow it out how? With your nose. But like what? No, no, no. If you're the parent, suck it out with your mouth. No. Can I demonstrate? Can I demonstrate on Matt? We tried to do it earlier. I wanted to do it.

We tried to do it earlier and he wouldn't let me. But I'll show you how you do it. Okay? Are you going to put your mouth over his nose? Would it be weirder if he did it to me? He's going to put his button in the nose. Just put it there. Just put it there so we can show.

Go to this nose. Okay. Go to this nose? My good nostril. Oh, my God. Is that? For those listening. If it gets stuck, oh, my God.

Okay, so what you have to do is you've got to put your finger over the other nostril and then you put your mouth over their mouth. You put your mouth over their mouth like you're going to do CPR and then you blow. Eardrum burst just then. I know. Do it again. I'll do it later when Ash is asleep. If you blow hard enough, you get an erection.

That's great. I'm glad an erection. That's great. I'm glad she's fine. She's great. I've got a question for you guys while I've got Laura here. Ape and I recently just celebrated an anniversary. Congratulations. Thank you. How many years?

What year is it? 13 years. You guys have been together for 13 years. I don't know how she does it. Wow. She deserves a medal. Did you give her one? Oh, yeah.

You're sick. Anyway, we celebrated the anniversary. That's our anniversary of when we started dating. And I have the argument that the anniversary should be celebrated, the wedding anniversary. 100%. Now, here's my reasoning. Okay.

April's like, why? Mainly because the wedding was so expensive, it should supersede the dating one. 100%. Okay. So, hang on a minute. We're all just going to agree. Well, that's boring.

I mean, I think that there would be a real issue if mine and Matt's anniversary date was when we first started dating because Matt was also simultaneously dating 23 other women at the same time. I don't see a problem with that. So we were in an open relationship. Sounds like us too. With my sister wives.

Yeah, no wonder you're like 13 years, more like 12. So for us, we, I mean, we kind of. You're a very rare situation. Anyone you date in Sydney is dating multiple people at the same time. Put it that way. I think anywhere in Australia. But I guess for us, we would say we've been together for seven years, pretty much like since we started exclusively dating off the back of the show.

I will say, Laura, that you are guilty of acknowledging the other anniversaries of like, this is when we first met, and then this is when we first met, and then this is when the show went to air. Do I sound like that? Yes. I'm sorry to say, you do. Should I leave now?

You do acknowledge the other anniversaries. Yeah, but I mean, we don't do anything to significantly celebrate them. Yeah, we did. We just had dinner. So do anything to like significantly celebrate them yeah we did we just had dinner so what would April like to celebrate all of them or just one

all of the above she wants to celebrate all of them it's exhausting man so she wants to so what she wants to celebrate the wedding anniversary

and the anniversary of the first date so you have your cake and eat it too she wants the cake and eat it too. It honestly just sounds like April wants to go out for dinner three times a year, which really isn't that much

to us. Footy's on. Footy's on. I'm not made of money. I know, totally. She's like, what about just take away? No, that's not my argument. My argument is, where's the rule?

Where's the line? Who decides? I personally think one cost me a fuckload of money. That's the one I want to celebrate. How many have you forgotten? Not in terms of like overall anniversaries. How many wedding anniversaries have you forgotten? None.

Okay, right. That's a big one. And can I just say, well done. Thank you. Great work. I'm one in a million. What about the first time that you guys made love? Fucked.

Why? Do you guys do that? That's fucking weird. We celebrate it. You don't. We do. We don't. He's lying.

Do you believe anything that this guy says? I don't know what to believe. Although we probably kind of could because the first time we ever had sex was the very first time we also ever decided to be exclusive. It was the same night. Was it on the same episode? It was in the finale. The finale, we went home and we went back to the hotel

and we boned afterwards. Had a shower, had some pasta and then had sex. Had you seen each other's? No. We'd seen nothing. He had no idea what he was getting in for. What if it was like you didn't be like, well, no, that's not for me. Could have been terrible.

That could have happened. You would have no idea. You don't do anything other than kiss, which I'm sure most people probably know about that by now. But like you only have a kiss. So like everything else is a mystery until you're exclusive until you get to the end of the show. I normally side with April. I think April's wrong.

You think she's wrong? I think she's wrong too. It's the wedding and that's it. Once you get married, that then supersedes everything else. You are right, Ash. I disagree. And the reason why I disagree is because how long have you guys been married for? What year is it? Seven years. And you've been together for 13 years. So you took your sweet ass time to propose firstly. I wanted to make sure. So it is, I guess for her, it's like a celebration of the fact that you've've been together for 13 years. So you took your sweet ass time to propose, firstly. I wanted to make sure. So it is, I guess for her, it's like a celebration of the fact

that you've actually been together for way longer than what it would sound like if you were like, we've been together for seven years. Yeah, but like, no, we've been married for seven years, but people would assume that this time before that, you don't just be like, hey, instead of dating, why don't we just fucking get married? It doesn't make any sense. Some people do that.

It's crazy. But why not celebrate Beau? Why are you punishing her? I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Sounds like you are. Does she ever listen to this podcast?

Every time. Yeah. She's embarrassed most times. Yeah, I understand. Look, I'm not punishing her, first of all. I just wanted to know. Why do you hate your wife? Well, it's simple.

It's simple it's simple really I just wanted to know what the consensus is you want to simplify it I want to simplify my life do you want to just take the opportunity whilst we're here post anniversary

just to say a few nice words to April because she is listening right now boy happy anniversary babe love you bro April, because she is listening right now. Boy, happy anniversary, babe. Love you, bro. Bye, April. She's a lucky lady.

Oh, dear. Matt, KO's got you covered this footy season with every game of every round live and ad break free during play. It is going to be a massive week of sport. As we have the NBA playoffs. Begins April 21st. Don't miss the best of the first round of NBA playoffs live on ESPN, available on KO.

And Matt, my favorite, Suncorp Super Netball. We've got Lightning versus the Thunderbirds Saturday at 5 p.m. And the Firebirds versus the Swifts Sunday 2 p.m. And Matt, both these games are live in 4K. The MotoGP Spanish GP is Sunday 4 a.m. and the Firebirds versus the Swift Sunday 2 p.m. And Matt, both these games are live in 4K. The MotoGP Spanish GP is Sunday 4 a.m. Every MotoGP qualifying practice and race is live and ad break free

from lights out to the checkered flag. And lastly, Matt, on Wednesday night, we've got Nikita Zu versus Danilo Cariti. Of course, Australian super welterweight title available on Main Event. It is a massive week of sport Danilo Cariti, of course, Australian super welterweight title, available on Main Event. It is a massive week of sport and there's plenty of room for everyone,

so get on board with KO. It's now also available on Hubble. We do have Laura here. We do have a number of questions that I need to ask you. I put the call out on social media. Hundreds of people. Did you get hundreds? My inbox was flooded.

Be honest. Honestly. And also the two most requested guests because we're always like, hey, if you want us to speak to any other moms or dads out there, let us know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone, April or Laura? I know. The first question is what's it like being married to such an amazing man

who's simply perfect? We're not married. You guys are. It's exhausting. There is a quote somewhere which is like, I'm going to butcher it because I don't know the exact words, but something around like doesn't matter how beautiful they are. There's still someone who's sick of their shit.

I don't know. Is that exactly it? I thought you were going to say it doesn't matter how beautiful they are, there's always someone more beautiful than them. No, there's no one more beautiful than you. No, there's no one more beautiful than you. I think there's like a meme with a guy, he's a redneck in a bar, and he's like, There's all kinds of things.

Like that. Exactly. That's how he would have said it too. For a split second, I thought I was in Texas. You are very, very amazing. You are a wonderful, wonderful husband. You are the best guy. No he is the best guy I have ever dated.

I can hear our listeners falling asleep. I'm so sorry but I will get to a point in a second. You are the best man I have ever dated and the things that annoy me that I get frustrated with are so minimal but you become like what you're used to right? So now I get frustrated with you

about things that like any other boyfriend would have gotten away with. She's out down here digging holes. Because they were cheating on me. So I would like get angry at them about that. Hang on a second. Are you a council worker? Because you're digging this hole pretty deep.

Do you know what I mean? That started out so beautiful. It was like, but then actually the things that annoy me don't annoy me anymore because he's actually a piece of shit. Mac could just turn around and go, out of the 27 chicks, you were the most bearable. I think that's exactly what happened. Okay, then that leads me on

to my next question. What do you find most annoying about me? Oh, here we go. Can I just stop you? This is the only reason I came tonight. Your most annoying habit is that you brush your teeth and instead of washing the toothpaste that is around your mouth

into the sink, like he doesn't rinse, he just wipes his spitty toothpaste mouth straight onto a towel. Straight onto a towel. You gave me so much shit about what I did. What do you do? I swallowed the water. You swallow toothpaste water? Yeah.

Why are you both talking to me? I was on an airplane. What are you doing? I didn't want to get up off my seat. As kids, my mum used to get so pissed off at the fact that all the towels were covered in toothpaste. And jizz. There was a sign in the bathroom above the towels and it says

stop no jizzing on the towels stop setting me up seriously i can't help myself and i'm a child and it said stop wipe your it goes wash your mouth first and people used to think think it was because my mum was being polite and pleasant, being like, stop, you might have toothpaste on your mouth. Wash it out first. She was just over the towels being covered in toothpaste. Was that right below the sign that said,

peel that five skin back before you pee? How dare you bring up my five skin? Without context, for anyone who hasn't heard that episode. Go back and listen to it. It's episode one. I do want to say, though, your mum is now living with us. without context for anyone who hasn't heard that episode go back they're really unsure it's episode one I do want to say though your mum is now living with us

and so the fact that she had to have that sign on a wall when you were a child and now you're 36 years old so 7 years old I don't even know how old you are

but you're old enough to know better why is there not like your mum can bring that sign back I hope she has it laminated somewhere and we can put it

in the bathroom above the towels no one's perfect so you still do that he does it every single time he brushes his teeth. It's like a smidge of toothpaste. No, it's not. Imagine fully brushing your teeth and then all of the residue, instead of washing it off at all, wiping it straight onto a towel. I guess it's a perfect segue into the fact that a lot of people ask, do we fight?

We fight, but we fight about really stupid stuff we fight about tone mostly so like someone has someone has said tone or normal tone no normal tone so i mean we fight about things it's not about what the fight is about but it's about the way in which you said something and we almost had a massive blue on the weekend we had had two of them. Do you know what the worst thing is you can say to your significant other is? Whatever. No, I. Fuck. Dude.

What? No, no. I will one better than that. Oh, up me. Go. All right, Snappy Tom. Oh, wow. Snappy Tom.

What? Hi. Someone's a bit snappy. No. Snappy Tom Laura. Matt does this thing to me and he did it heaps in America. I actually had. Did he call you snappy Tom?

No, he did it enough times that I said, can you stop that? Can you stop? He would be like, will you relax, bro? Oh, that's really annoying. Oh, it's so fucking annoying. It's really patronizing, isn't it? And we joked after that, we laughed because I know what he's doing. Then it became a joke.

Like we would be back and forth like will you relax but don't you yell at me so Matt's an antagonizer he loves to antagonize so do I he loves to antagonize and then when you bite back he gets upset that you be oh I know so like that that happens but no we fight over really petty things because like we genuinely all couples too we're very lucky We don't fight about the big stuff. And that's what I kind of meant by in the past, relationships that I've had, we wouldn't even fight over the small things

because there were so many big things to fight about that they got away with so much worse. I think if you're fighting over the little things, there's a healthy relationship. 100%. So we have stupid fights like for the weekend, for example. The kids were in the pram. We were discussing like what we were going to do first in the day i just had a conversation with both lola and marley around

the fact that we were going to go to the beach then we were going to go and get food whatever it was and matt and i we were all together so we'd all had this conversation together and literally as the conversation finished matt goes so guys what do you want to do first and i was like are you kidding me are you kidding me we just you kidding me? We just had that conversation. He goes, oh, we don't need to get angry at me. Oh, yeah. That's a very good impersonation. That was it.

No need to get angry at me. No need to get angry. And then there was like an expectation that I would apologize because I snapped by saying. But he does it jokingly a lot too. With me he does. It's just stupid shit. We fight over really dumb stuff.

And everyone does. And I, like April and I are the same.. We fight over really dumb stuff. April and I are the same. We fight over the smallest. Over the what are we doing today is a really, really big one. To the point where April the other day, I caught her where she wanted to be so ahead of that fight that she had her shoes on at 6 o'clock in the morning. She slept with them

on for the fight. She was like, I've already decided What we're doing I've got my shoes on You're not even out Of your fucking pajamas yet So I get to decide What we're doing

She didn't sleep Just to what he was doing I know I was like I'm getting out of the bed With the kids Like holding both kids And I look down and go

Are your fucking shoes on? Wait so does this mean That both kids were in bed with you? Yeah. They're both in your bed. And April's up. She's showered, shoes on, completely ready to do something. You know why she's up, shower with shoes on?

Because she's being kicked in the spleen for the entire night by two kids in the bed. No, no. No, they're only in the bed in the morning. Okay, right. I said, do you have shoes on? She was like, no. She was like, I'm ready to go.

You clearly do. But that's like one of the big fights like that we have something so small it's just small stuff it's small it's insignificant but i think what our big problem is is that we fight in the same way and we are both equally as stubborn but we're both so stubborn that we think the other person is more stubborn so it's like a competition on stubbornness usually the most stubborn of the stubborn? So one of us has to cave and say sorry. It's not even a sorry. It's cave for a cuddle, right, after the petty fart.

I'm not going to say anything because we have planned to have sex tonight. Not while I'm in the house. You're downstairs, so it's fine. You can't hear anyway. So I'm just going to say. I've only come to watch. Otherwise, I'm leaving. I did get going to say. I've only come to watch. Otherwise I'm leaving. I did get an anonymous question.

Okay. So this question is, if someone says something hurtful in an argument, how do you get over that post-fight? If someone says something hurtful, I mean, I think it depends on what's said right i don't think that you can have a blanket of just like oh you should never go to bed without being angry or should always make up like i personally i find it very very challenging to go to sleep still being angry but that's a selfish thing it's because i can't sleep so i want to i want to make up so that then

i have a good night's sleep matt on the on the other hand, has not really any problems. He's quite happy to go to sleep. If you don't want to go to bed angry, it's way easier to go to bed furious. Just make the fight go further. Yeah. No, so Matt. Just get it done. Matt could go to sleep.

I think you could anyway. Like still being a bit frustrated by something. Whereas I myself, I need to fix it. And so I know that that can be even more annoying. No, that's not true. We've not gone to bed without resolving an argument because i don't really ever let that happen a few times i pretend to be asleep but i'm not i just i lie there and i go i feel an argument coming like we need to talk about this i have an argument coming on guys but i i think for us because the stuff that we fight about is never really personal and it's always petty and

stupid that i think we should resolve it before we go to sleep but if it's a big problem if your partner has done something that's like or said something that's like deeply hurtful i don't think that you can just instantly get over it and i think that you have to like work through the why like why did you feel it was appropriate to say that like what was the reasoning behind where did that come from where's your relationship if you've got to say something so deeply personal that you can't get over it within that time frame and it's like is it because your partner's like so bad at communication that the only place that they can go to is to hurt you in an argument because that's like their way of getting a barb across i think that there's so many more layers there and i also it's so dependent on what

the insult is as to whether or not you can easily get over it. And sometimes it takes time and sometimes it takes a lot of conversations. That's a very good answer. But admitting fault is the first step, I think. But like the person has to take responsibility to do that, right? 100%. So if you're the one who's been hurt by something and your partner is not validating you or taking responsibility, then like you can't really just get over it.

That's not fair either. So the responsibility is on them to come to the table. There's always going to be that some sort of shittiness unless the person who's done the wrong has said, look, I acknowledge I've done the wrong. If they don't do that, then what you're saying is that like there's always going to be some shittiness there and like I'm not going to get over it until you can acknowledge that you've actually said that yeah because if i can go if i can go to sleep and then wake up the next day like it never fucking happened and you're like or maybe you do because there are couples who can have big fights

a barb can be thrown out and then they never talk about it and they just kind of continue on as though everything's fine that's not healthy but the problem is is like so much resentment will build in that relationship if you never ever discuss it and you're just like holding it in at some point, it's going to come out. Yeah. Each to their own, but I always do an internal gasp when people say that they haven't spoken to their partner in five days. Yeah, I can't.

They're like, we're having an argument. I've not spoken in five days. And I'm like, how do you do that? I love the silence. If she stopped talking to me, no one would talk. I don't believe that. You talk a lot. I don't want to fucking talk.

You talk so much. You talk to yourself. I wasn't even talking to you guys then. I was just talking to me. Okay. So I have a question. It's not a question from me. It's a question from Tash.

Hi, Tash. Hi, Tash. Now, the question reads, how do you, Laura, spend quality time with girls being a full-time working mom? I think we have a very good system now in terms of like the way in which the load of work is managed. I think last year we had a very bad system and it was a lot to juggle in terms of finding quality time

versus just time. Just jump in there really quickly. I've come into this relationship last year. Yeah. And last year was crazy, both of you guys. Yeah, work was a lot. It's nice to hear you found balance. There's been a bit more balance.

But like work was a lot. Like we did live shows for Life Uncut. I run Tony May. I'm also like very much proactive in running Life Uncut. And then also we have the kids and a dog and a husband and, you know, there's just all the things. And a cat. And now a cat.

Now a cat. But I would say that every day after school, like we do from the pickup of the girls until dinner and bedtime, like I'm really plugged in in that time of the day. The mornings are a bit chaotic for everyone. And then every weekend, um, we are, we have such good quality time on the weekend as a family, all of us. And even though work is a lot, I think the biggest thing is having a partner who also does so much. I think for a lot of relationships and a lot of parenting, the majority of the load falls

on the woman to do it. And I know that's not in every relationship, but I would say for majority of my friends it is. And so I don't know, I kind of like partly almost, I struggle with the question because I'm like, well, most women have to try and figure out how to fit work in and then fit time in for the kids. And most men are able to go to work and still fit time in for their friends and everything else. So I guess for us, the fact that Matt is so proactive and has always been proactive and has, you know, there's been times where I've done the majority of the parenting because I had to be pregnant and then I had a newborn baby on me 24 seven. And then the last year Matt kind of took over and he did a bit more of the parenting and it gave me an opportunity to focus on work

and then this year we've rebalanced again. So, I mean, having that support and having that equalness allows for more time to both of us clock in and have quality time with our kids. I'm pretty good, Ash. I'm pretty good. I've just gathered from that answer. But like you did mention then, like it could be so one-sided right that someone

would be completely doing like the majority of the parenting load and then the other being so work heavy and it can be so easy for that person who's really work heavy to find it hard to find time for something outside of that i think we spoke about it with Tom, the last guest we had, where he was like because it's his business and it's his job. It's all consuming. It's so consuming. And like for me, like the last 12 months, because this is all so new to me, is that I don't just switch off anymore. Yeah.

I've got to consciously go, okay, time is now for the kids and for April. And like April works three days a week and then she's got those days with the kids. So it's like we try and make it work as best as possible. So it's called, lack of a better word, even. I think the big thing though is like you can't do everything, right? So before we had kids, I used to do so much exercise. Like exercise for me was such a big part of my happiness.

It was a big part of my me time. I don't have time for that me time. Like the amount of exercise I would like to do versus what I'm able to do now when I have to try and, you know, do the Jenga puzzle of like work and the kids and relationship stuff. The going to the gym thing is the thing that has fallen by the wayside. If you wanted to say prioritize that again, just say hypothetically, where do you think that your brain would go to find the time to do that?

Would it be out of the family time or would it be out of something that you do professionally? It would have to be out of the work time because like we don't sacrifice the weekends anymore. We very't sacrifice the weekends anymore. We very rarely sacrifice weeknights. You did go to Pilates at 7 o'clock on Sunday just gone. One time. For how long?

40 minutes. How dare you take 40 minutes out for yourself! Just for perspective on that, what we're in April, I've been to Pilates three times. That's three times of going to the gym this year. So for me, I really enjoy work.

Work is something that gives me a lot of purpose. It makes me really happy. So in no way am I working and being like, oh, my God, I've got to do this stuff. I quite enjoy working. And so if I've got the kids to bed and then I stay up and sometimes Matt and I will stay up and we'll work till 11 o'clock at night or 1130 at night. Like that for me doesn't always feel like a chore. Sometimes it does. Absolutely. Sometimes I wish

that we could spend more quality time together as in Matt and I, but I don't think my relationship with the kids is where the quality time suffers. I think sometimes it's the relationship with that we have where the quality time suffers. Well, sometimes it's the relationship that we have where the quality time suffers. Well, then I was going to ask a question, but I think I'll rephrase it. I was going to ask, do you get parent guilt based on how much you take on in a workload perspective? But I think I'll ask, do you get, instead of parent guilt, do you get partner guilt instead?

Partner guilt. This feels like a very loaded question, Matthew Johnson. Do you want me to ask it um i definitely get um parent guilt sometimes um and i get it for example like tonight when i was saying i needed to load some photos of raspberry up onto the app to so that lola and marley could show and tell for news to show and tell atcare. And I didn't have the right app on the phone. So Matt was like, oh, you need this app now. This is the app you should be using. I'll bring my phone over.

You can load it on my phone. So in our household, some of the logistics things, some of the things that I think usually fall on moms, like the mental load stuff, Matt has taken on. And so then every so often when I become aware of that, that's when i feel guilty i don't feel guilty about the quality time i spend with the girls because i think i'm and you know i'm sure there's times when i can be better but i do feel like i'm a very plugged in

mom but it's the small things that they don't see around the organization of their life that sometimes i think i lack in um that's also because i'm a very unorganized person in general um but you really pick up the pieces for that stuff in terms of partner guilt is that have you ever heard of relationship guilt as in like this is all new to me i'm just i'm just sitting back here writing shit down no i don't think i've ever considered it before but it definitely is a thing because once you have kids your relationship changes and then're, especially if you're both working and you both have other things and it's a unique case, I guess, for anyone who owns a business, you probably know what it's like, but when you own a business, it's not, you have X amount of hours to do in a day. You know, you have X amount of hours to do in a week.

You just have a never ending list of jobs that need to be done and you could work 24 hours if you let yourself. So that is a very real thing. I think I only get or feel really guilty. I have noticed that you seem like you're unhappy, like or you're like clocked out or like even in the last couple of days, I'm like, what's going on? You're not being happy.

Like what have I done? And they're the moments where I worry that like I haven't given you enough to make you happy. And then there's sometimes where, so for example, last week Matt said he came home on the Wednesday and he was like, do you know what? Tonight we're just going to put our phones down when the kids go to bed and we're going to spend time together. But then on Thursday I had going live one of my biggest campaigns for Tony May for the year

I recall I had to do I had to do content and and some other things for for it on the Wednesday night and I was like look it's great in theory but like tonight is not the night that would be a great thing but we need to plan that we can't you can't just come home in the afternoon and say tonight's night with no with no phones had we spoken about that early in the week, we could have done it on a Friday. Yeah, I get they're trying to be spontaneous. But then there's also being realistic. And that's why I'm like, I know it's not sexy to schedule things.

I get that. But sometimes it is important when there's so much going on, you kind of have to do those things a little bit. Look, the whole relationship guilt thing just makes me feel shit now because I asked the question about anniversaries and now it's like, fuck, maybe I should feel more partnership guilt. I should be feeling more like maybe I could give more. Well, I mean, what do you think about that in terms of like your,

how you feel? I'm actually whinging. Monday to Wednesday, I think you feel as though we don't get to spend any time together, which we don't because like we're in a house together, but we're both working a lot. Yeah. I think, I think as well, maybe given that we're currently got, I'm a celebrity on TV, you're managing Brit's socials. So that's just like an added layer of work to a schedule that's already bursting at the seams. And then you have to now watch this show and do all of her socials

off the back of it. It kind of means that when the kids are in bed from that moment, you have to watch the TV and then the TV show finishes and then you have to then jump on work for a little bit. And then edit and then upload and then get stuff ready for the next day. It's been big days. And so it has been like, you know, Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night.

The outside looking in, right, for the last 18 months or whatever it's been. Personally, I don't think there's always been something, right? Dancing with the stars, something else happening like the live shows. It seems as though like there's always like you guys are turbo. And I said that to Matt ages ago in an episode where we were talking about how busy everyone is and stuff like that. And it's like, fuck, like I personally, April and I,

couldn't handle how like completely turbo your lives are. Yeah, and there's definitely moments where it's a trade-off, right? It's great to have what we have, which is off the back of the amount that Laura works especially. And I know that we wouldn't be where we are right now if she didn't take on that. It's easy to have moments where you don't appreciate

what you've currently got because of sacrifices that you've made. Yeah, but also, I mean, it's not all doom and gloom. Like, I mean, we also, we both work in an industry that's very similar. So at the same time, as much as, like, we both work in an industry that's very similar. So at the same time, as much as like we both work a lot, we also get to work together a lot. It's also really a sporadic industry. Yeah.

Like this, for example, right, all of a sudden lays down, I'm going to be on a celebrity, you need to manage my socials. There's so many variables in your relationship because you both do the same thing. Like for April and I not working, I work now all of a sudden in this industry, but she's very like nine to five as best as she can. There's no real sporadic changes. When I've noticed with you guys, it's like because one,

those Dancing with the Stars comes out, it's like someone offers you something, you've got to say yes to the opportunities. If something came up with Matt, he's going to say yes to the opportunities. Then there's Brit who's gone away. Now you've got to take on that. Yeah, but I think it's more than that though, right? So like you and April work in different industries as well as doing different times, right?

So if you were both completely focused on your jobs and not able to focus on your relationship the the void in what you have to talk about and the void in understanding each other's day is so like it's so vast because you do such different things yeah whereas like matt and i do the same job in a lot of ways and we talk about work together all the time i bounce concept ideas you would bounce so much he he comes up with like some of the stupid reels that we do for jobs or for ads. Like he'll come up with the concepting. So even though we're both working a lot because we both work within the same,

like the same industry because he's very creative, even from like a Tony May perspective, like him coming on board and helping with like the ads or helping to design a men's range. So I guess from like that perspective, I feel as though we still are able to have, like we still know what's happening in each other's days. Like we're still so clocked in with each other.

So I don't feel like a deep sense of guilt in that way. But I guess sometimes I'm like, well, I would love to spend time together, go out for date nights, not be talking about work sometimes. Or the kids. Or we're talking about the kids or we're talking about like, you know, the kids. Or we're talking about the kids or we're talking about like, you know, the schedules. But yeah,

I don't, I personally, I may be talking for myself but like, I think that there's way more days where we stop and we go, oh my God, we're so fucking lucky.

Yeah. Than what we sit there and go, God, I feel disconnected from you. Like that. That's good. That's a good thing. And I think that that's a real testament

to our ability to talk to each other and like explain how we're feeling and thinking about things. Yeah. And when like when April and I had dinner the other night, it was like at a moment they were like, hey, we haven't spoken about the kids in ages. But then I also was like I don't remember the last time we actually had dinner just together.

Yeah. So it's like fuck, how easily and how quickly the small things like that can just slip away to the waste. And it might not seem like a big deal until you sit there and you go, oh, hang on a minute. We haven't had dinner. Last time we had dinner was this time 12 months ago. Maybe that's why she's trying to do it twice now a year.

She's like, we've got two anniversaries we need to celebrate. I'm busy, babe. But I think, I mean, and for anyone who's like juggling kids and work and relationships, there are very few people who have children who they're, I mean, I'm yet to meet one whose relationship is unaffected in any way, whose relationship doesn't in some way go down the priority order. And that's not to say that it has its moments where it kind of like wrestles its way back up to the top, but you are forever juggling those

three things, the work, the kids, the relationship, and then like, forget about your own personal time or your own like priorities of yourself. Like it's those three things, the work, the kids, the relationship. And then like forget about your own personal time or your own like priorities of yourself. Like it's those three things that are constantly like moving around and trying to re-find their way to the top of the pile. You know, every change in situation, you've got to figure it out and how it works best. Totally. I mean, this is probably too much, but I'll go into it

because I went and watched an Esther Perel talk last year and she's an incredible relationship expert. And I love her teachings. And one of the things she said, and it was around how much we deprioritize our relationships after we have kids. She was like, if you love your children, the best thing you can do for your kids is prioritize your relationship. Because not just because they get to grow up in a household where they have two parents who are within a you know a family unit and i don't want anyone who's a single parent to think that i'm singling them out and saying that their kids aren't going to be fine your kids are going to be fine but what she was saying is that you also have children who grow up with parents who have modeled what a healthy relationship looks like yeah so it helps

them for when they start dating and they start looking for relationships because they've come from a family where that structure already exists. And so much can rub off onto them, right? Totally. We see that day to day, right? Totally. There's things that I say to Oscar and then sometimes he'll say back to me like a week later.

I'm like, who the fuck taught you that? I know this guy. And I'm like, fuck, I need to rethink about maybe how I say that around you. Because they just, yeah, they do. They're little sponges. It just rubs off. Yeah. And they look at how you interact with your partner,

with their mum or their dad. They see that. I know April and I had an argument in the car the other day. We rarely, rarely argue. And you could tell that both of my kids were both absorbing they were rattled yeah because it's like this never happened what's happening yeah are we all breaking up not in front of it was like and then it was like all right turn to the kids go look sorry we had a disagreement yeah we are now on the same page

we're all on the same page. But also, don't judge me. I've seen the way you guys argue. But I'm also pretty sure I saw you sit on Macy then. Unless you want me to sit on April. Lola kicked Marley May square in the nose two days ago. She just looked it up for nothing. Marley did absolutely nothing.

And she just straight in the nose. And the audacity of kids to judge us when we argue just kick him in the face seems like a plausible solution to the situation what is one thing that you wish

that I understood from a mum's perspective I think that's really hard to answer because I think that you are I'm perfect no no no not that you're perfect

and that's all we have time for that's another joke we always put in there that's all we have time for no that's another joke we always put in there that's all we have time for matt is a unique case because matt grew up with a single mom for a lot of his um upbringing and and you have such an incredible relationship with your mom so i feel like you've had a real insight into she's still single female relationship dynamics and also because you have taken on so much of the load over the last couple of years but one of the biggest fights matt and i ever had and i don't know if you guys he's ever told you but um it it was like we us juggling i've made a very clear decision not to bring it up in

the podcast but since we're here now we're an hour and 15 minutes in, let's unpack it. Well, okay. And it's 11 o'clock at night. 10 o'clock at night. It's when I do my best work. Yeah, me too. No, it was around, so like I think the time that we struggle the most is when we have very little children. So I'm talking like newborn babies. Yeah.

And that's because all of the load of the newborn baby falls on me. And I guess not being able to have the help or the assistance in a way that's constructive I think was really, really hard for me. I think I know the fight you guys are talking about. Yeah, and I think it's a fight that everyone has in those first few months. And what was happening was like I was bringing Marley to work with me every day.

I was bringing Lola to work with me every day when she was a newborn as well. And Matt then had his day to get work done and then when i came home he would take the baby but he would take the baby so i could get work done so he would be able to go to the gym and he would go out for lunch with his friends and he did things because he had time to be on his own surfing a bit then whereas like he would take the good old days yeah i know it must be nice must be. But what I think Matt realized one day, and it was from like us having to have this big sit down conversation.

I was like, when I don't have the baby because you have her, I'm working. But when you don't have her, you get to go to the gym. So like there is never, ever, ever a time where I get free time for myself.

It's either a hundred percent baby or a hundred percent work or I'm asleep. Plus then you want me to have sex with you. I was like, do you not see why? I was selfish. But I think that that was probably sex with you. I was like, do you not see why I... I think that that was probably the biggest time where I was like, you don't quite understand what it's like to constantly have this little thing on you that wants

to feed and it just wants you because that's really hard. And there's a really big difference between mum and dad. Yeah, especially in those early years. My kids now, I'll walk downstairs and I've just got both kids hanging off her. I'm like, Oscar, give her some room. My kids now, I'll walk downstairs and I've just got both kids hanging off her. I'm like, Oscar, give her some room. He's like, who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

This is my wife. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? I'm talking to you. And he'll be like, shut up. Shut up and go back to bed. How old is Oscar now? He's four and a half, isn't he? Same like Marley.

He's a week older than Marley. Okay, right. Yeah. No, our kids are obsessed with dad. Oh, Lola, no. Marley, yes. We split them down the middle. I've got one more question for you because we always like, well, I've asked it a few times on the podcast. We've spoken about it a couple of times. I've had a vasectomy. Matt hasn't endured that as yet.

I want to know, is there a possibility for a third child? A third Johnson. A third Johnson. That's not a cat. Do you want to have another kid? I think so. So this has, the pendulum has swung so wildly.

I know, I've watched it. And I can't keep up with him because only a couple of months ago, Matt said he did not want to have another child at all. No, because you're advocating for it. You pulled me aside and said, we're having a third. Personally, for me, I don't want another one for you. There is enough plants and cats and everything in his house. If I'm going to be honest, I don't need it.

Why? I don't need you guys to have any more kids. Is it the stress of what that would require I'm stressed already I'm stressed out man the plants are staring at me the cats staring at me a three legged dog

staring at me and now you want to introduce a fucking baby to stare at me while I'm here too okay so I always thought it's funny for me because I never really

ever saw myself as being a mum like I didn't I never had well the joke's on you I never had the maternal pull I never ever dreamt about being mum or I didn't, I never had the jokes on you. I never had the maternal pool. I never ever dreamt about being mum or I didn't even know if I'd be a good mum. Really. I was like, that seems like you require a lot of patience to do it. And then I had Marley and I, well,

no, then I met Matt and you really wanted to be a dad. And so you really wanted to be a dad. And I think it was your excitement about wanting to be a dad that made me have excitement about wanting to be a mom um even though I kind of knew it would be my plans I just didn't have this like big maternal pull then Molly came around and I loved it so much more than I ever thought I would and I think people are so quick to tell you all the bad bits about parenting and people don't really stop and tell you the incredible bits the bad bits are so much more fun to talk about that's totally and people we we revel in complaining right like that's my favorite thing to do humans love to complain there's this real like shared almost like like like shared camaraderie when we complain about stuff all we do on this podcast i know well okay then we're complaining about how the meat's

uncooked but but i will say you're also a great mum as well. Thank you. I love being a mum. Someone wants sex tonight. I love it. I love it so much more than I ever thought I would. And I look at Lola now and, you know, obviously, whether we have two or we have three,

I'm still a mum for as long as I am on the earth. But my thing is I look at Lola and I can't believe that I'm never gonna have another little person like that she's the youngest that there is ever gonna be in this household and but every so often I just have these moments where I'm like surely this can't be it and I always thought I would get to a point of completeness I thought I would wake up one day and be like or after Lola was born I thought I would have this moment where I'd be like oh I'm so'm so darn, like tie the tubes, baby. So it's a possibility. I would

like to. I'm 38 now. I'll be 39 next year. Work is a lot in terms of contracts and trying to figure out timings and stuff. But if we could have a baby next year, I would be excited to. Would you name it after me? It would be

named Ash. Jam. Blacklist. Like, I know. Jammy. Little Jimmy Jam. I'm definitely done. Obviously, out of a sex me.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I know that you feel the trauma in there. But my one thing, though, about having another kid is that I think people's instant reaction when someone already has two these days and it's two of the same sex that instant thought is to be like oh well you're trying for a boy like you're trying for the alternate sex i love being a mom to girls i always saw myself if i was gonna have kids as having boys so like it's my parenting thoughts of what i thought it was gonna be is completely out the window i'd always prefer

another girl. Yeah, and if we had three girls, I would be absolutely fucking thrilled. So I want that to be like on record so that if we ever do have another girl, people are like, oh, my God, yeah, I just wanted to have a boy. You just wanted a boy. But genuinely, yeah, I could see us having another kid. Also, Nana just moved in. So like we've got a free babysitter.

I would like to be more involved. If possible. You could be the godfather. Thank you. Don't ever talk to me again. just moved in so like we've got a free babysitter I would like to be more involved if possible you can be the godfather thank you I do want to say thank you very much for jumping on the podcast it's been an absolute

pleasure to have you here are we thanking her for just buttoning on this podcast sorry I did invite myself thank you for having me guys it is always the thrill I did have to bring

my own headphones my own sock to this recording let's not go into details about how organized we are but that's my sock it is but I had to put it on

my own microphone and I really like the grassroots feel of this we'll have you back if you would accept the invite thank you thank you so much are you going to have

sleepovers again not if you have sex tonight that's for sure I need to hear that what if we do it really quiet? We have quiet sex all the time. We've got kids upstairs. I know.

We have quiet sex because of kids and because of Ash. I know. We have quiet sex all the time too. It's probably because she's not enjoying it. Anyway. Sorry. I feel so sorry for April sometimes. I'm sorry, April. We love you, April. Bruh. I love you sorry for April.

We love you, April. I love you. Happy birthday. If you've enjoyed this episode, don't, don't be quiet. Be vocal. Let us know.

Give us a review. Maybe five stars. It has been an absolute pleasure. Also from one podcaster to another. I'm very proud of you guys. Thank you. You're doing such good work. Thanks mom.

Yeah, no, you really are. You really are. Thanks mommy. Thanks, Mum. No, you really are. Thanks, Mummy. Can you just tell that to everyone at Life Uncut? I'm so proud of them. You should be too. I am so proud of you guys. Thank you.

Thank you. See that? Can you write that on Apple Podcast Review? I'm so proud of you. Laura. Laura from Life Uncut. Go and check the reviews. I'm doing proud of you. I'm so proud of you from Laura. Laura. Five stars. Laura from Lightning Cut. Go and check the reviews.

I'm doing it now. Okay. These guys clearly can't end their own podcast. So if you've enjoyed the episode, jump onto Apple Podcasts, leave a review. You can also get onto Spotify, follow us there or at Two Doting Dads on Instagram. You know? Yeah. You can follow there as well.

Jam Pikelets, Maddie J. No, you're Matthew David Johnson. Whatever. Go and follow on all the Instagrams. And you know. They do. Yeah. You can follow there as well. Jam Pikelets, Maddie J. No, you're Matthew David Johnson. Whatever. Go and follow on all the Instagrams. And you know the drill. Don't give out my personal details on here. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love. Don't tell pet parents. We love love.

We'll see you next week. Bye. Say bye. Bye, everyone. Thanks for having me. Yeah, good. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples

today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.