Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #72 Dads Need To Stop Skipping The Doc

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Guess who just returned from her long senior Contiki Tour? Ellie, also known as Mum Johnson, is back from her two-month trip to France!  It's also International Men's Health Week. Matt and Ash explain why they need to prioritize their health after personal sobering experiences. We encourage men to make regular doctor’s check-ups a routine part of life for you and the sake of your kids’ future. Let us know when you’ve booked your appointment with your local GP! Slide into our DM's @twodotingdads with any parenting question you need answered by a couple of doting dads.  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Buy our book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  Email: [e-mail]  We're giving away FREE cases of STONE AND WOOD!  All you have to do is share an IG story of you listening to Two Doting Dads!  Be sure to tag @twodotingdads and @stoneandwood in the story, and one lucky listener will win a case of delicious beer every week! 🍺🍺🍺  Extra points for the most creative and number of posts 😉   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When you sleep, do you sleep with your feet out or in the doona? In, for sure. Really? Doesn't it feel weird on your toes? What do you mean? I don't know. Maybe it's just a sensory thing for me. Like occasionally, if I'm too hot, I'll go just like one foot out.

One foot out is elite level sleeping. Question for you. Yes. Stomach or back? I can't sleep on my stomach. Can't do it. I love it. What do I do if I get an erection?

Start levitating. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads. I'm Matty J. And I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good. It is the bad. Emphasize the bad.

And it's also the relatable. It is the relatable. And if you've come for advice, this is not the podcast for you. And Matty J usually says that line, but today I thought I would say it. Change it up a little bit. It feels... People are like, what's going on here? And before we do get started, we always love to crack a nice drop. And today's drop is the NRB, which is the Northern Rivers beer.

So quick one. Here we go. Oh, there. Very good. Very good. What's it called, Ash? I'm going to put you on the spot here. What's it called when you abbreviate words to just the first letter?

I feel like I'm asking the wrong guy. You are definitely asking the wrong guy. Do you know what I love, Ash? Me. An acronym. Yes. An NRB. Oh, it just rolls off the tongue.

Doesn't it? Northern Rivers Beer. And this is Stone & Wood's greenest beer. Matt, tell us what that means. For those playing at home, it means they use over 70% certified sustainable malt and 100% certified sustainable hops. But what is certified sustainable, Mal? So it means that the farmers who supply the malt and grains to Stone and Wood,

they are held to a higher standard. The highest standard in the land, Ash. Oh, I love to hear that. So like using less water, looking after the soil that the plants are grown in, and using less energy overall. Oh, that love to hear that. So like using less water, looking after the soil that the plants are grown in, and using less energy overall. Oh, that sounds great. Now, Matt, this isn't a limited edition, but it is limited in location. So that's what makes it unique.

You can only buy it in person in between Tweed and Yamba. However, if you purchase your beer online, you can get it anywhere in the country. And they'll deliver it straight to your door. There is one more way you can get a case of the NIB ash. There is. Tell us how that is, Matt. That's by winning one from us. You can throw up a story on your Instagram,

listening to Two Doting Dads, tag us, tag Stone and Wood, and we'll throw a case. We'll probably not throw. We'll deliver it to your front door. Absolutely. And as always, we want to thank Stone and Wood for making this episode possible. Matt, we're back.

Here we are. We're back. Another week. They feel like they're all blending into one. Ash, I'm going to pretend to be in a good mood today. You do that. Gonna pretend. You pretend away, my friend. To be in a great mood. I've just got a couple of little updates for you

from my end that I just want to a couple of little updates for you from my end that I just want to just get out of the way this morning. We have been talking about a big event coming up, huge, a big event, which is my son's first ever birthday, but he's five. It's not his first birthday for those just tuning in. Yeah, last week you mentioned you threw out the Manly stickers. I did. Any update there, please?

A critical mistake of April ordered these custom stickers for the, I keep going to call them show bags, but this is not the Easter show that I'm throwing. It's a very minor party. It could be. It could be. And she had these custom stickers ordered and I think I accidentally threw them out and I was not man enough. I was a coward, Matt. I was a coward and I did not tell her in person. I let her listen to last week's episode. How did she react? She didn't talk to me for a little while because she had searched far and wide to get the right size stickers. I always say, Ash, don't come to me with problems. Come to me with solutions. And I do have a solution. What is it?

I have reordered the stickers without her knowing. And so when she found out that I had done this, I said, but it's okay. I've got new ones on the way. So she's like, so you've wasted all this money as well. End my time. Can I ask, at this point, are you regretting committing to a birthday party? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. But he's very excited. The best thing about throwing your child at a birthday party is the threat of being able to cancel it if he's misbehaving. Are you using that threat? Oh, I'm using it hard. Hard out. Get in the bath.

No. Right. Birthday party cancelled. No! Straight to the bath. I think my initial response is you can't do that. That's quite mean, but I'm pretty sure. It's legal.

For two weeks, yeah, in the last two or three weeks, that was like frontline defense for me with the kids and behaving. I've still canceled Christmas already this year. That fucking cat. Where is it? For those of you at home listening right now, Matt's chasing a cat around that he pretends that he hates, but I think he loves it.

A little bit salty today. We'll try and get through it. We'll just nurse him through it. Here he comes. Deep breath. Okay. There we go. There's a chance, there's a small chance I may not be able to attend the birthday.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Something's come up. Something's come up. More important. Look. What's more important? Look, I won't go into detail. We don't have time for that.

Yes, we do. We'll take this offline. No, no, no. We won't. We won't. I want everyone listening to know why. We have a clash of dates, okay? A clash of dates.

A clash of dates. The diaries are normally checked thoroughly before committing to any type of activity. Unfortunately- Well, you better cancel that other activity. There was a mistake that was made. By whom? By myself.

Okay. I acknowledge this mistake. I'm currently in the process of trying to fix it. Oh. So just. You just said to me. Yes. Don't come to me with problems.

Come to me with solutions. You're absolutely right. Absolutely right. And you're coming to me now with a problem and no solution. You sound like April. What? What's the solution? What are the options?

The options are Laura and I may split. Okay. Not permanently. Just for the weekend. Yes. what are the options the options are Laura and I may split okay not permanently just for the weekend yes okay just for the weekend just for one afternoon it may be a case

of your busy lives it may be a case that I attend with my mum which and no kids that'd be weird no

yeah just leave it with me leave it with me. Leave it with me. I just wanted to put it on your radar. I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. Okay.

I'm working on it. Also, not to come with more shit news, I haven't heard back from Manly regarding the mascot who we want to attend the event. This is the biggest shit sandwich you could possibly serve me. Can I just defend myself for one second in that this morning. There's a lot of pent up anger. Yeah.

But you're taking it out on me and I don't like it. Because I just got the news, Ash. This house is leaking. The mansion. It's leaking. Everything is leaking right now. The front window is leaking. So we just found out on the weekend gone, pouring down with rain.

It did pour down. People were calling it a monsoon. I would like to say that you can't control the rain, and I forgive you for that. And whilst it was raining, through the light, water was pouring in. That's dangerous because of electricity too. Well said. Electrical stream.

So we had this internal waterfall. We had someone come and look at the house and the house has been built badly. Very good way to put it. Before we started recording, the builder walked out and I was like, what's the news? I did hear. And what did he say? You don't want to hear it right now, so we'll chat about it later.

Yes. And then to top it all off, I've got this cat who I love dearly. Beautiful cat. Beautiful. Great cat. It's just, it's always there. It's a bit much sometimes. It's a bit much.

It's a bit of a- It doesn't understand. It's a kitten. It's a kitten. So it's very playful. It's never not hungry. It can't read of a- It doesn't understand. It's a kitten. It's a kitten. So it's very playful. It's never not hungry. It can't read the room. It can't read the room.

It doesn't understand when it's not welcomed. And just, I'll feed it. A split second later, the kids will be having their dinner. I turn around, I look back, and the cat's just there at the table, like eating the kids' food. And Marley and Lola are like, yay, the cat's having dinner. And then they go back in for another- Yes. Especially cereal. Dude my coffee was there. I like look over and the cat's just drinking my coffee. I'm like do you mind bro? Cat's like what? It's mine. What's the problem? This is my house.

Jesus. All right I'm not gonna get angry or disappointed about you potentially not coming. I'm not gonna. I'm not because I understand the pressure that you're under at the moment and the issues. Come to me with a solution and then we'll have a proper conversation. Okay. We don't normally have special guests. We don't. Do we?

On a Wednesday episode. We do have a very special guest that I'm excited about. Should we bring her in? We should bring her in. Let's wheel her in. Just change her nappy first. Ellie! It's Matt's mum, for those of you confused at home.

And we have had Matt's mum on the podcast before, a full episode dedicated to Matt's mum. But today we've just got her on to give us an update. On her recent trip. She's been on a very long trip. Haven't seen her since the cruise, those of you who remember the cruise. She's been on what I like to call a senior Contiki tour, and I want to know how it all went down.

Ellie Johnson, welcome back to the podcast. Yes, it's lovely to have you back. It's good to be back. Finally. Yes. You've been gone for ages. I know. How long have you been away for?

Nine weeks. Gosh, it's gone quick. That went fast. That went way too fast for my liking. I do want to ask you, I know you got scammed. I did. No. A number of times.

You've been taken advantage of. Well, let me put it this way. In the first 48 hours, I was scammed just over $1,200. Oh, my God. What did you do, Dodgy Strip Club? I mean, it's crazy. Those escorts. I get you.

Oh, they're expensive. The embarrassing thing was that the scamming started before I even left the country. Let's start with the first scam. All right. Going to Singapore was told that I had to get a transit visa. Best to get the transit visa before you leave the country. Sure.

Okay. So I'm in the departure lounge. I Google Singapore. A transit visa? A transit, because I wasn't there overnight. It was just going in and out. Were you leaving the airport? Yeah.

I Googled, got onto the Singapore transit site, filled it all in. And then this payment slip just popped up and I thought, oh, there's a charge. So I filled all that in and then it went back onto the site. I completed the visa, got my visa, everything's fine. And then there was no amount shown on the payment slip. So I checked my credit card and I have an amount of $192 for the visa. And I think, well, that's a bit steep. So I questioned it and someone said, no, Singapore visas are free. You've been scammed. They've somehow superimposed this payment slip. So then I contact my credit card company thinking it's just a one-off scam. And you haven't left the country yet.

And I have not left the country yet. Okay. I disputed the amount, but I didn't cancel my card. Oh, God. So I go along and then I arrive in Paris. I know to follow the signs to the taxi rank and to ignore the hustlers who were trying to get, no, I know your game. Because for anyone who hasn't been to Paris.

Or a lot of countries. Paris is particularly like ruthless. It's ruthless. Let me draw you back to a movie by the name of Taken. Yeah. Set in Paris where she went to Paris and she was taken. You weren't taken, were you? Well, I didn't want to say.

That sums up what you're saying. It's pretty dodgy. It is dodgy. But I thought that I was doing all the right thing. I was ignoring all these people. I know your little game. I'm not falling for that. Because they offer you, and I'm sure as a 73-year-old woman

with a few bags, how many bags did you have? I had two bags, one small, one medium. Hang on, I'd say it's a large bag. It was a large, big bag. And you must have welcomed a nice gentleman coming over and offering some assistance with your bags after a long flight. I hate to draw the elderly alone card, but when you are of a certain age, travelling alone, two cases, whether you like it or not, there's a target.

Yeah. You're a target. You need help. You need help. or not, there's a target. Yeah. You're a target. You need help. You need help. But anyway, I thought I was doing okay. Doors open, pelting down with rain. Oh, gosh. So this fellow.

Set the scene, Ellie. This fellow was standing. What time of the day was it? Got to the taxi rank and this gentleman said. Wallet inspector. Wallet inspector. taxi rank, and this gentleman said... Wallet inspector. Right, I'm going to try and take this seriously now.

Sorry. I'm going to ignore this. So I had my credit cards over. This was terrible for me. I was really suffering. Okay, your mum was scared. I apologise. Continue.

At this point, I wasn't scared, and the fellow said... I'm trying to stick up For you over here Mum's like Shut the fuck up Ash I was never scared Not once So

55 euro Great Was mentioned Great And so pouring with rain And this driver Said madam It's raining

You get in the car. I'll deal with the bags. Oh, no. And I will take the trolley. And I thought to myself, what a delightful young man. That's what he wanted you to think. Yeah. How nice is he?

So got in the car, driving, and as we're driving to the hotel, I look and think, oh, he does not have a metre. I have got into a regular car, not a taxi. You'd be stitched up. So my mistake, but I think, no, no, no, we agreed on 55, it'll be okay. Get to the hotel, still pouring with rain. Oh, the rain was fierce that night. And he says, 130 euro, madame.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. And I said, no, no, no, no. That's extortion. He said 55 euro. And he said, oh, yes, madame, but that les bagages, the bags, le trolley. Oh, my God. And I go, okay.

Stitched up. You know, and look. What do you do here, Ellie? But you know what? It's easy to say, oh, wouldn't have paid it. But what do you do? My bags are in his boot. You're in his car too, you know that.

I can't get my bags. I'm tired. I just want to get out of this car too, you know that. I can't get my bags. I'm tired. I just want to get out of this car. I think exhausted is a more appropriate word, Ellie. I think exhausted is a bloody good word, actually. Yeah. And let's not forget, you're 79. You're almost 80.

I felt like 102. So what did you do? You just paid it? So I paid it. Then I go into this hotel, which as soon as you open the door to a hotel and the stench hits you and I think. Dead body. Oh, dear. You know, I was tired in this hotel.

I mean, I should have realised a hotel called the Terminus. I should have realised it wasn't going to be the best and then when i thought it couldn't get any worse what happened next i checked my credit card and there was eight hundred dollars because when i had filled in the form they had your details they had my details and Apple Pay, $800. They just kept charging it, did they? Oh, my. So then I thought, bugger.

This trips the park. I have to say, boys, I am quite resilient, but I do remember sitting on this grotty little bed thinking, I want to go home. I don't want to stay here anymore. That is, look, I do feel sorry for you, but it's also very funny. I want to go home. I don't want to stay here anymore. That is, look, I do feel sorry for you, but it's also very funny. I'm very proud of you for doing that, Mum.

I think I forget that 73? Two. 72? I'm 72. We always add years. I know lots of other individuals who are hitting 70 who are nowhere near as sharp as you. Yeah, that's true. And I think you should be commended on making the trip an adventure,

if you will, over to France by yourself. Did you meet any young suitors while you were there, French? Oh. Look, close to where I was staying, there was a charcuterie, which is a place where you can buy meats and cooked. Oh, charcuterie board. I was going to say, isn't that a board you put meat and cheese on? Yeah, so a charcuterie en français is lots of meats, cooked meats.

Oh, that sounds very good. And I used to go and there was this gentleman. Oh, that's good of dad. And it was quite weird because in my head I sort of thought, oh, I don't know, he's almost 70. And then I thought, oh, I'm 72. I thought, hmm, I shouldn't be so judgmental. But anyway, it was quite funny.

Was he handsome? No, he wasn't. But he was a real character and I would come in and he'd make a big fuss and he would do beautiful meals like birth bourguignon. And then this one day I got a birth bourguignon. I bet you did. No, no. I bet you did.

No, no. And he sidled up and he said, today I have a very nice cock-o-vare. Cock at the back of a van? Cock-o-vare. And I'm going to give you a little bit because I think you should try it. So I think that was like a euphemism. You're going to have a little brother. Yes, I loved his cock.

And then he scammed me out of the restaurant and I came home. It was a very tasty cock. Sorry. This is a family friendly point. Cock is chicken. There's nothing better than a bit of French cock, as I always say. Oh man. Very good. That's very, very good. of French cock, as I always say. Oh, man.

Very good. That's very, very good. I'm glad you're back. Before you go, on your recent trip, can you remember any moments that were particularly scary? Terrifying, if you will. Yeah. Other than the cock in the back of a van.

You'll probably be cross when I tell you this because it was a little bit reckless. I would never be cross at you. You? Reckless? Well, I had, in Paris, I had to go from one station to another station and it was on the GPS, seven minutes walking. And I thought, I'm not going to get a taxi. I'm not going to be scammed again. Can I just say, there has been an occasion where mum went down to the shops to get some food about 500 metres. I lost.

Straight line, straight back. Like maybe an hour later, I was like, where are you? And she was like, I'm in Maroubra. Oh, my God. Yeah, it is a bit like that. No, no, but I got this. I was following. It was all going well.

And then I went off the beaten track. Why? Well, because it told me to. And then suddenly I was faced with this large tunnel. And it said, go through the tunnel. It said, do not enter. Enter at your own risk. And it was pretty dark.

And I thought, well, okay, it says to go. And so I went in and everything was fine until we turned a corner and the whole of the pavement opened up. And I kid you not, there was probably about 100 what looked like men all camping out. It was like it was tent city. Oh, my God. And I just looked at all these men who suddenly stared at me.

What did you say? I didn't say anything. Go and get it, fellas. I just thought, shit, this is not good. No. Are you sure Google Maps told you to go that way? Yes. Definitely.

That's hot intensity. I can't walk on the pavement because it's all full of tents and sleeping bags, so I go back on the road. The worst thing was there was this trickle of water going across. A stench was unbelievable. Urine. And it was not water. It was urine.

Knew it. And I thought, and I, and then. That's someone who pissed in public many times. And then I saw a chink of light and I thought, I'm getting out of here. I put my head down, my bum up, and I've never gone so far. Hang on a second. Hang on a minute.

That's not the position you want to be in when you're faced with a hundred men. Complete opposite of what you want to be. Back it right up. So I pulled my pants down, gritted my teeth, put my ass in the air, and raced for impact. Oh, my God. No wonder it was scary. Anyway, so I just raced out of that as fast as I could.

Ellie, thank you for joining us. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for making it back safely. And I appreciate all the times that you got scammed because I think it's hilarious. Do you? Yeah. I don't.

I think it's really sad. It's sad. Okay, we've got to wrap this up. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, I love you, Mum. Thank you. Love you. We love you.

It's nice to be back. We love you. I'm sure the listeners are going to love that. The French especially. Ash, we're going to have a bit of a change of gears right now. I like it. And normally we only ever want to be fun time people. Have a laugh.

Sometimes you've got to scratch more than just the surface, man. Very well said. Thank you. And the reason we're going to change gears and be a little bit serious for a second is because it is Men's Health Week. It is. And let's be honest, men are a little bit crap. When it comes to health.

To their own health. And I know recently you and your family have been dealing with a health incident. And it's been, I would say it's pretty huge. Yeah, through a big spanner in the work there for a couple of weeks, my dad came down to visit my kids and my sister's kids, so his grandkids. He doesn't get to see them that often.

They live on the Gold Coast. So they came down for a few days, which is nice, and he'd been on a few trips this year over the last 12 months. And he managed to pick up like a bit of an infection that led to him having to go to hospital once he got here with the infection, just getting a little bit out of hand. But it led to something a little bit more serious where he was on an IV drip and some antibiotics, had to go to the hospital every day. But the problem from that is he came to visit my kids and he was fine. He was recovering from that, which is great. But he did mention to us once I was walking him back to the car

that he was a little bit out of breath. And then my mum had also flagged with me over the last 12 months that he'd been sort of losing breath on minor walks and all sorts of things. But your dad is very fit. He's a fit guy. Very fit guy. Surf's heaps. Surf's a lot, walks a lot.

He's retired, so he spends a lot of the time, you know, walking up and down the beach, all that sort of stuff. Really active. But over the last 12 months, yeah, he was losing, he sort of would lose breath. And just to take you back a little bit for a bit of context, when he was 41 years old, he had a heart attack and had some stents put into his artery.

And anyway, so after he'd taken that walk to the car, he'd gone back to where they were staying in the accommodation. I received a call at 6 a.m. in the morning that my dad had been rushed to the ICU. Wow. And he hadn't suffered a heart attack, but what happened is the fluid from the IV that he had had landed and sort of gone into his lungs and he couldn't breathe.

So he was essentially drowning really at his accommodation in front of my mum. The ambulance came and he survived, obviously. It turns out that he needed a triple bypass because his heart wasn't actually, well, the stent he had was only working at 2%. So the other arteries had to pick up the slack. And they just got to a point after 12 months of him struggling with shortness of breath and ignoring those signs that he just couldn't take it anymore.

But the doctor said that he was pretty lucky though. He was really lucky. They said if he wasn't as fit as he was or if he was overweight, he would be dead essentially. He would have had a heart attack. He would have died multiple times over the last year. Those arteries were actually trying to pick up the slack. Anyway, so he went in to have that triple bypass surgery here in Sydney.

So a three-day trip turned into a six-week trip where he was stuck here in Sydney. Wow. And, you know, there's a lot of conversations that happen between him and going into surgery. He was, you know, upbeat up front, but I could see that in his eyes, he was a little bit scared. And he said to me a few times, he said, I haven't been well for a long time. And we all knew it, but he refused to admit it to himself. He was, he said to me, I was scared. I was scared of what, what, what I would have to go through again. Yeah. The reality. scared of what what what I would have to go through again yeah the reality the reality of

that something was not okay with me um and we all sort of were like yeah we know and it's so easy to be like we told you it's so easy to be that guy but it's much better not to be that guy it's it was also a realization that he had artery disease which is genetic genetic, which I'm his son, so that gets passed down to me, which when I have mentioned that to doctors and stuff like that, they've gone, oh, you know, you should get checked. I'm like, yeah, I will. Never do. I'm essentially repeating history as it happens.

So since that diagnosis and since the surgery, have you gotten checked up? Since that diagnosis and since the surgery, have you gotten checked up? Not yet. But the, I mean, I actually have been in for a skin check that my wife made me go for. She booked it and said, you've got to go. But I think like the biggest takeaway from this whole experience is that I do need to pull my fucking finger out in,

you know, lack of a better word. Cause you know, two days after that, he essentially died in the hospital bed and they had to reboot him. So for that split moment, I didn't have a dad and they had to go back into surgery and, you know, and, and the, the constant talk around it is for 12 months you've had an opportunity to face your fears, you know, like I said, pull your finger out and put everyone around you's mind at ease that something's not okay so that it can be okay and you can continue to live your life.

He's great now but he is so full, I won't let this happen again. And I hope that's truthful. So has he said anything to you about your health and you getting- Yeah, he just said, stop being a dickhead, go and do it. And that's completely fair. And my wife is also really like- Vocal. I've got young kids.

My dad had a heart attack at 41, Matt. I'm 34 years old. I'm not far off that. I'm no mathematician, but that's seven years. And my mum really spooks me a lot because he and I at this age lived a very similar lifestyle. And you know me, I'm quite a heavy drinker. I never really 100% take care of myself all the time.

So I think, yeah, like it's something that being you know in the position i am and like i should probably lead by example to go fucking go and do it go and get something checked to make sure that can help my not just me but my kids i i think what your dad has gone through though is, is definitely not an isolated case in terms of older men. It's the story in the hospital. It's so funny. We're in, we're in intensive care after the fact. And dad's got, or even before the surgery, dad's got guys around him in the cardiac, all in the same boat that all didn't get shit checked that all waited too long or you know waited to the very last minute before it was fatal and even dad saying people coming in and dying because you know this 50 year old bloke who's a young man didn't go and do the very minor

thing which is to get a blood test and for for me personally, I'm fucking petrified. I haven't had a blood test in like 10 years plus. I haven't had a blood test since I've been married to my wife. Let's put it that way. I don't think I've ever had one either. And I think it's maybe down to the fact that I don't want to get old. No one does. You think you're just Supermanman syndrome whatever peter pan

whatever i'm staring down the barrel now at turning 40 and i hate it i absolutely hate it you know no one no one wants to get old at all and i think having these regular checkups and it's the realization that you know we're no longer 20 year olds we are getting old i feel i always say to april i'm like i wonder when i'm gonna be a full-grown man yeah it's like i'm waiting it's like listen here dickhead you are a fully grown man so go and fucking get go and get something checked just so that you can give myself and the kids some peace of mind that you're looking after yourself so that you'll be here for the long run and that goes for if i'm talking to anyone that goes to all these young dads that follow us and messages and send us, we love your podcast,

all that shit, who've got two, three-year-olds that are relating so much, go and fucking get something checked. Because there's so much talk with dad over the last few weeks of, you know, you could have avoided it being a scare for the whole family if you'd have just been checked and known what we were in for. Known what we were in for ahead of time instead of you having to come to see your grandkids and them having to see you like that when you could have gone early, noticed that you're out of breath

for no reason, for walking on flat ground when he is quite a fit guy, like you've met him, go early, go and do it early and look, for no reason, for walking on flat ground when he is quite a fit guy, like you've met him, go early. Go and do it early. And look, you know, I'm guilty of doing it too, of leaving things to the last minute. But I would say earlier is better, Matt. Yeah, with any medical condition, the more time you can give doctors,

the better your chances of survival. I know that Laura's stepdad at the moment, he is going through one hell of a battle, which breaks my heart the fact that he's currently in palliative care. Oh, shit. Eight years ago, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And unfortunately, by the time they had diagnosed him, it was already terminal. And, you know, I think he's pretty young as well.

He's like in his 60s at the moment. Yeah. And I can't help but think if he had gone to the doctor sooner, if he had gotten checked out, if they had found it, you know, just that little bit earlier, he may have had a better chance of survival. And it could be hard sometimes to see what the warning signs are, right? Like, so with every medical condition, they've all got different symptoms. Did he have any particular symptoms that he thought, you know,

look back now in hindsight and go, that was abnormal and maybe I should have gotten that checked? Yeah, I think the big one was having to urinate a lot, really frequently, abnormally frequently. What's abnormally frequently, do you think? Enough for it to, you know, impact your daily life. Yeah. The fact that you're always having to know you need to be close to a toilet.

Yeah, usually you can plan your pisses out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But Laura's mom was like so many women in the relationship where she was trying to force him to go to the doctors and get himself checked out.

And when I speak to Neil now, of course he wishes that he'd gone sooner. And it's such a stubborn thing that men do, right? We go, yeah, we'll do it. Yeah, I'm all right. We'll do it. And it's not just the major things. It's the minor things too that can impact your life. So, yeah, I mean, as you were saying, early detection is important.

So important. So if you're a man listening. Yes, I'm going to make a promise to you. Go on. Okay, I haven't had a blood test in like, what did I say, 10 or 15 years. I wouldn't even know. So I promise to go and book in and get a blood test. Either this week or next week, I will send you the confirmation

and start the process because I do have a genetic disease that's being passed down to me. I can't really help that. At least if I can start to look at it now, then maybe I won't get to a point in my life where my family's scared for my health, if that makes sense. And I can't run this podcast by myself. No, well everyone's replaceable i'll do i'll do the same you do the same blood test all right blood brothers they're calling us the blood brothers okay so we're

promising each other this is promising the listeners to the listeners as well that it's so bloody easy for these non-critical things, you know, because we're all flat out working, looking after the kids, that this is like the last thing we want to worry about. But we'll do it. Yeah. We'll share the results. I feel like if you can take a moment to look after yourself,

to help to look after your kids long term, it's priceless. So go and do that. We'll do it and we'll update you. Unless I don't turn back up and, it's priceless. So go and do that. We'll do it and we'll update you. Unless I don't turn back up and then it's too late. Sorry, that was a poor message. Ash, it is time for listener questions. And hey, why don't you kick us off today? Matt, I have a question here from Chantelle.

Chantelle or Chantelle. I'm not sure how she pronounces it, but I'm sorry if I butchered all three of those. But she wants to know, Matt, what are the non-sexy things that you do that your partner Laura finds as a turn-on? I've got a great list here, Ash. You've got a list?

I've got a list because I put the call out to people who listen to the podcast to give their answers. But for me, I've said this before many times, any domestic work around the house turns- Chore play. Chore play. Turns Laura into a horndog. In particular, doing the dishwasher and washing the laundry.

Oh. I don't do it as much these days, but if I was to get the mop bucket out, be careful. She will rip my clothes off. That's the only reason why I don't do the mop. You can mop up afterwards. But, hey, what's it for April? What does she love?

That's a very, very, very good question. I don't know what she likes. No, same thing. I think if you get elbow deep in a toilet, the sexier you are. I mean, like. Elbow deep in something else later on. Ew. Cleaning seems to be the common consensus.

But I've got a little list here, Ash. I know you've got it for yourself. So maybe we can just give like some sexy music right now to really set the mood. Oh, yeah. Let me just turn something on really quickly. Oh. Okay. music um right now to really set the mood oh yeah let me just turn something on really quickly oh okay when he wears his hat backwards oh that was a big trend for a while that's that is pretty sexy i'm just gonna say it laura does like it i guess when he rolls up his sleeves yeah means business is about to happen it's business time time. Like when the sleeves roll up, you know shit's about to go down. There is a lot of cleaning.

There's some, just some nice ones. I would say that's just like being a nice person, which is like running me a hot bath just for no reason. It gives you an indication of how low that bar is where it's like if someone just ran me a bath, did the bare minimum, I would love it. Just one here is just like, just be competent for the whole day. This is a niche one.

She says, her husband created a cracker for a stock whip out of a plastic bag. What? She loved it. Oh my goodness. Couldn't get enough. My last one's really, really simple.

It's just getting a pay rise. I don't know if April ever loves this, but this one says when he puts his hand on the passenger headset and reverses the car. Oh, yes. I remember because back in the day when I was a child, this is how I was conceived, I reckon, there was no reverse cameras and that was the go-to move, I reckon.

I reckon Dad's like, and the feel of it, even if you slide it in between. Oh, Sam! So erotic. Also wearing anything grey. Grey sweatpants. Is that a thing? You've got to have a decent-sized cock for that.

Yeah, not us. I don't even own a pair of grey sweatpants. Is that a thing? You've got to have a decent sized cock for that. Yeah, not us. I don't even own a pair of grey sweatpants. Last one here. When he's on a work phone call and he uses his professional voice. Oh, because your voice changes so much when you're just like chatting to a mate, chatting to her or him, and then you're back into it. And you're like, oh, just circle back to that. And it's like, circle back?

Circle back on this. Question for you. Yes. This one comes from Nathan. He wants to know, do your kids ever fake injuries? Yes. Yes, they are big old fakers. Are they?

Yeah. What injuries are they faking? My god was calling out in the middle of the night and I thought he was having a nightmare and I walked in and I was like, oh, you're having a nightmare? And he goes, no, my knee just hurts. I was like, what? Growing pains are the fucking worst.

I didn't even think about growing pains now. I feel bad. Marley will always drop in. She's like, you know, because they want to delay the bedtime. She's like, I'm thirsty. I'm cold. I've got growing pains. And she's like, I need the medicine.

So I'll have to get the syringe. I'll do a fake. Sometimes I'll get like just a droplet. Yeah. And I'll give her something. And I'm like, there you go. That was a big lot of medicine. Super strength.

And she's like, thanks, daddy. And I'm like, you idiot go. That was a big lot of medicine. Super strength. And she's like, thanks, daddy. And I'm like, you idiot. Lola at the moment, don't know why, she's just obsessed with Band-Aids. Oh, yeah. Loves them. At the moment, and I think this is on me, I've now done it so much that it's part of the morning routine. So we'll have breakfast, we'll get changed.

Have a Band-Aid. Literally. She will, as I get her changed, she's looking at her arms looking at her fingers. That's a new freckle, bandaid. Any type of blemish, she's like dad, help me, help me out. I love band-aids. I'm churning

through band-aids. Also, shouldn't have got the ones with the kid cartoons on it because she loves them. Yeah. She's obsessed with them. So like right now, I can't leave the house without whacking a bandaid on her somewhere. Just have it preempted with the clothes. You're like, okay, I've got shirt, jumper, pants, underpants, socks, bandaid. Literally.

And it makes her so happy. She gets it on and she's like, all right, let's get in the car. Got everything. So annoying. Maisie did the same thing where her and Oscar were running around the lounge. She's fallen over and like legitimately it must have scared her or whatever hurt her foot a little bit she must get like a little bit of carpet burn or i don't know but she was all of a sudden fine great and then she just like developed a limp just like moments later and we're like what oh my god like she's got a limp

she's got a limp and i was like what limp. And I was like, what's wrong? She was like, I need a bandaid. And then. Did you give her one? Yeah, on the opposite leg. And she was like, thank you. And she was fine. Oh, that's better. And she was just like.

Anyway, they're big old liars, man. Don't believe anything. We always try and do like, we have the boy who cried wolf. And then someone told me that the boy who cried wolf died anyway. And I was like, whoa. Bit morbid. Bit morbid. But anyway.

Hey, do you know what I'm worried about? What? The fact that we recorded with mum. We sent her out to pick up a sandwich from the cafe down the road. Oh, I forgot. Yeah. Yeah. Right now she's probably.

Getting scammed. She's probably face to face with a hundred men under a bridge somewhere. Ass up. God, let's wrap this up. We'll give her a call and see if she's okay. If you've enjoyed this episode, please, we would love it if you would share it with anyone else out there who would enjoy a little giggle, stories of a grandma being scammed.

And we also have a few new listeners. We do. Just a couple. To those we say, welcome also have a few new listeners. We do. Just a couple. To those we say, welcome. Leave a review. Now. And we'll see you guys next week. See you guys.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.