Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #82 Ellidy Pullin: Losing a Partner, IVF Struggles and Birth of Minnie !

Episode Date: July 28, 2024

Ellidy Pullin is the co-host of the popular podcast DARLING, SHINE!, a model, author, and, of course, mum to little Minnie Alex Chump.  In 2020 Ellidy's partner, Chumpy, died in a tragic spearfishing accident on the coast of Palm Beach. Fifteen months after she lost the love of her life, she was able to give birth to his baby through posthumous sperm retrieval and IVF treatment. Ellidy is the sort of person who lights up a room and talking to her is like chatting to a best mate. We loved this conversation and were in absolute awe at her incredible strength and resilience in managing grief as well as providing such a loving and nurturing environment for her daughter Minnie. Where you can find us on the inter web! Buy our book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ah, another day, another bonus episode to gift our listeners, Ash. Yes, Matt, I love it. And guess who we've got on today's bonus? Let me just play you a quick little sneak peek, if you don't mind. Yay, guys, let's go. It is Elodie Pullen. What a bloody ray of sunshine she is. She's the kind of person where you just want to be her best mate.

Oh, absolutely. And if you're not familiar with Elodie, she's the co-host of a very popular podcast called Darling Shine, along with Chloe Fisher, who is married to the Fisher. So Elodie's a model, she's an author, and of course a mum to little Minnie Alex Chump. Minnie is a beautiful kid who looks just like her father, Chumpy. How she was conceived is something that is very unique, but extremely beautiful, Ash. Yeah. In the middle of 2020, sadly, Chumpy died in a tragic spearfishing accident off the coast of Palm Beach. On that same day, Elodie lost the love of

her life, but her future as a mother was saved. Despite the immense loss, Elodie has shown incredible strength and resilience in managing motherhood on her own, providing a loving and nurturing environment for her daughter. Elodie faces the same challenges that you and I do, Matt, that's for sure. Yeah, that's the dummy. Also a biting child. Yeah. Shall we get into it? Let's do it. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads and One Doting Mum. I'm Matty J. I'm Ash. And I'm Elodie Poole and thanks for having me. This is a podcast all about parenting.

It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable. And Ash and I don't give any advice. Elodie, have you got any advice to give today? I know pressure if you do. Maybe. It could be accidental. I don't have a big night a few days before you're going to record

because I've lost my voice and I sound. Yeah, I saw that story. I was like, was it Sunday night? My wife goes, look, because she knew I was coming up. And she's like, she's lost her voice. I'm like, oh, it's not until Wednesday. I'm sure it'll be fine. And then I think we spoke about it Monday and then I saw a story

and I think you were talking and I'm like, oh, we can work with that. Your voice has bounced back. It has actually, yeah. No, I literally couldn't speak on Monday. But I literally forgot that we were doing this. So you're lucky because I might have been like, hey guys, we might have to cancel. Well, you gave us a message a couple of days ago and we thought

that message was going to be the one to say, sorry, we can't do it. We're going to have to postpone it. Okay, this is how tech illiterate I am. Is this the one where I was like, hey guys, I've just moved into a new place and I don't have internet, so do you want me to hire a studio or something like that? And your beautiful producer, Jess, was like, yeah, so we're flying up to you and we're bringing our equipment.

And I was like, yeah, and I'm just telling you I don't have internet. And she's like, we're bringing the equipment. And I was like, and I don't have internet. And she's like, and we don't need it because was like, and I don't have internet and she's like, and we don't need it because I'm just going to press play and upload it later and I was like, fuck, you'd think, I have my own podcast and you'd think I would know this. You're obviously not in charge of the Wi-Fi or the tech gear

in your podcast. I asked Chloe last night, I go, is that not normal? And she goes, we always have to have Wi-Fi when we record but we're pretty. That's random. You guys have a good setup. Don't mind me. I'm not sure if you're going to hear this.

I'm being licked by your dog, which I'm enjoying. That dog's got a good lick. That's just tasting the smashed abo from this morning. Elodie, when you were a youngster, a little kid, if you will, what were you like and were you different to how you are now? I reckon I'm actually, I think I'm actually pretty similar to now. Like I said to my mum, I think recently, I'm like, fuck, why is Minnie so annoying?

My kid, like she must have just been having like, she must have just been a pest that day or just wasn't stop yapping. What did your mum say to that? I was like, Minnie's so annoying. And mum's like, yep, you are the exact same. Oh, my God, my dog's being annoying too right now. Shh, Rummy, shh. Sorry, I can hear her yapping in the background.

But, yeah, mum was like. I'll give her my arm so she can keep the licking going. Yeah, you need to keep that pat up. No, but mum was like, she always gives me this look like, you are the exact same. And I'm like, fuck, how annoying. And I keep saying sorry to my mum. I'm like, man, sorry, because she also did it alone as well. Yeah.

Well, her and my dad divorced when I was like one or something. And we were full time with mum. So I'm like, shit, sorry, mum, and she had two of us. Oh, my God, yeah. It's not easy. It's not until you have kids that you then look back and you're like, I am so sorry to my parents. I put you through hell.

So much respect for them all of a sudden. Like I'm so much nicer to my mum these days. I know. My mum says the same thing about my son. I'm like, God, why wasn't he shut up? And she's like, that's you, mate. That's what you were like when you're exactly like that. So, yeah. Annoying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you were like when you're exactly like that. So, yeah.

Annoying. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you the class clown, would you say? I was like, I was always, yeah, I was always getting, what do we do about my dog? Should I just, come here, come here, just sit here. Sorry, she's annoying. Maybe she needs to, like, be on me.

Sit. Sorry. Okay, I think she might chill now. I was always the one getting sent out in class. Like I was always, and funnily enough, I'd like just for talking and just like my attention span, I definitely have ADHD and I just can't, you know, get bored quickly. And then I'd get sent out of class and I remember a few times

in primary school I'd get sent out and I'd look to the classroom next to me and my brother would also be sitting outside. Rob's in the family. Yes, we're both looking at each other like, fuck, not again. So growing up, did you always think, I want to be a mum, I want to have a family? Yes, I always wanted kids. I think I thought I was probably more maternal than what I actually am.

Like I am such a touchy person. I love cuddles and I'm like super warm and friendly and like fuzzy and shit. But like sometimes with Minnie I'm like, get off me. I'm so done with being touched sometimes. Nah, that newborn phase is everything. And yeah, I, I think I grew up like around kids a lot and yeah, I always knew I wanted to be a mum. I think it's a big difference though, between like being young and thinking you want to have a mum. I think it's a big difference though between like being young and thinking you want to have a big family and then you actually start having kids and you're like, holy shit.

Why am I so tired all the time? It's like I think a lot of kids when they're like in primary school or whatever, they always look to their teachers and they're like, one day I want to be a school teacher. Like I definitely had that and now I'm like I could not think of anything fucking worse than being a school teacher. Or like an early educator. Hats off to them a school teacher. Like I definitely had that. And now I'm like, I could not think of anything fucking worse. Or like an early educator. Hats off to them.

No way. I don't know how they do it. I drop Minnie off and I'm like, catch you later. Like good luck. I know sometimes when I pick up the kids from daycare, I'm like, I just feel like I should give them a hug. It's going to be okay. They're all real young and sprightly most of the time.

They're like in their early 20s, I find. Then there's like the odd older one who's just cranky. I know mine's just cranky now. I get it now. I just have 20 of them every day. Yeah, nah. People always say the kind of cliche, you know, when you stop trying to find someone, you know,

when you put that to the back of your mind, that's when you'll meet the person. For yourself, were you in a phase when you met Chumpy, were you like I'm looking for someone or were you just like running your own race? Enjoying your life. Yeah. See, I was like 20 or like just turning 20 and I was so young

and like I always wanted kids but I wasn't like frothing to have them at 21. I was like, yeah, five years or whatever. So I was just so keen to just be like in love and run around the world and just like travel and have fun. And like kids was not on my mind then. Did you want to be in a relationship when you were 20? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like I love this guy. Like I'll be, I want to be with him forever. Hopefully this is the guy I'm with forever and hopefully this is the guy I do have kids with. But I was like we need to go spend so many years having fun first, you know. For sure, yeah. But we did start trying for a baby when I was like 26. So we moved up to the Gold Coast.

We spent like five years down in Sydney and then moved up here, yeah, when I was about 26. And as soon as we bought this house, like my house up here that I'd sold, we started trying for a baby. We got a dog and we were all like, yay, this is the next chapter. Who approached the conversation first of like, let's have kids? Yeah, I think I was probably keen like a year earlier to start trying and he was really career focused and he had seen like his best mate

have babies while also snowboarding because Chump was a snowboarder who travelled the world snowboarding. And he'd seen his best mate do that and he was like, if I'm having a kid, I want to be full time. You want to be there. He was away like a lot. Like months at a time. Because of winter and seasons and that sort of sport.

Yeah. He was always like, if we're having kids, I want to be 100% like retired and fully like on you and the kid and not travelling and stuff. So, yeah, we were trying up until like he was like when you fall pregnant, that's when I'll retire kind of thing. Wow, okay. But he was like getting to the tail end of his career anyway

and he was ready to retire. So we were like just, yeah, having a crack. So do you just want to tell us a little bit about where you met Chumpy and how you felt when you first met him? Yeah, yeah, okay. So you're Worrywood. My dad lived in Worrywood. I also grew up in Worrywood but my mum lived in Narrabeen,

which is a suburb next to Worrywood. So I would like have me and my bro would like have dinner at mum's and we lived with our stepdad at the time and then we'd have dinner and then I'd literally go for a run at night to my dad's, go see him, have like dessert with him or whatever and then run back. That's how close my family is, like in the suburbs next to each other. Chump, he was coming to Sydney a lot. He's from Victoria but he was coming to Sydney a lot to train

with that mate Nate that I was telling you about before, his best friend from snowboarding because I grew up with Nate. He lived in Mona Vale and like the next suburb over again. Chump was kind of in my peripheral like circles. Like we had like a big girl group and there was a big guy group. You had your eye on him. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, well, like we had like a big girl group and there was a big guy group. You had your eye on him. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, well, like we always just hung in the same circles.

We always knew each other. He actually always had a girlfriend who was overseas in Bulgaria and I, yeah, so he already did long distance. You're like, hurry up and break up already. Yeah. Well, I didn't even know he had a girlfriend actually. It was like a fan. Well, no, they were in a serious, really nice, beautiful relationship.

But she was like overseas. So he'd always come back. We'd be like, oh, that hot snowboarder guy's back kind of thing. But I always had a boyfriend too. So then me and him broke up and then, yeah, it was Laura Enever's 21st birthday. He's one of my best friends and he came and I was recently single and I was like not thinking, like I was still gutted from my last relationship ending.

And, yeah, he was there and I think him and his chick were like finishing up. Yeah, we hooked up and I was just like just kind of instantly obsessed. Yeah, right. Sometimes people say opposites attract, but were you guys opposites? Yeah, we're opposites. We are opposites for sure. He's a very like I'd say really smart, got his head on his shoulders, driven kind of career-y kind of like eye on the prize,

like very focused and perfectionist vibe. And I'm really blasé like whatever goes, goes. Like I'm cruising. I'm not thinking too hard. I'm not thinking too hard. I'm not thinking too hard about tomorrow. I'll think about that tomorrow morning. Like, you know what I mean? It kind of works, though, though, doesn't it?

It works. Yeah, because he definitely made me go, okay, shit, what am I doing? Okay, I'm going to start uni and da-da-da, I've got to think about my life and what I'm doing and, like, get my shit together a bit. And then I definitely made him go, fucking relax. Like, loosen up. Like like have a drink and have a lot like no he was like always chilling and happy but like loosen up yeah like yeah you know and I think a lot of people think typical snowboarder is probably a bong head probably just

probably just like people just thought he was like, yeah, just hell cruisy and just like this athlete, just a hell grungy dude, like a dude dude. And he's not that at all. He's much more intelligent than that. Super, super intelligent, like doesn't switch off, super forward thinking, businessy, I'd say. When it comes to trying for kids, apparently, I don't know this,

but it does pay to adhere to a schedule. Yes. To try at certain times of the month. Who was leading the charge there? Good on you, Matty. Yeah. He's all over it. He wants to know who was ovulating.

He was definitely in check with like, all right, what's happening now? Like what day are we up to and shit? And like he was really excited to be like, I'm coming home. I have in my head, I actually don't think this is true, but I feel like guys. We'll tell you if it's true. Okay, but this is just maybe I'm like not, I'm not someone that thinks about sex 24 fucking 7.

I'm not, I'm actually not like that. Neither are we. Bullshit. I'm actually not like that. Neither are we. Bullshit. I feel like guys do, like a lot of guys do. Let's not profile them all.

He'd just always be like, fuck yeah, are you on? Are we on this week? Like I'm coming home. And I'm like, fucking oath we're on. Like I can't wait to see you. Let's just bang. But like on those particular weeks weeks he'd be extra stoked. Yeah, for sure.

And then I'd be like after that, fucking I need a break. Don't come near me this week. Go back overseas. Nah, nah. I mean like that's the beauty of long distance, right? It's funny because if I get into another relationship ever one day, I don't really want long distance. But I do look back and just absolutely love the whole like,

oh, my God, they're away. You miss them. You're fucking lusting for them. And then they get back. You're like, fuck, yeah. Like can't wait to just like hug and shit and see you. It's exciting. Yeah. It's always exciting.

When you're counting down, it's almost like, you know, the adult Christmas where you're like, I get to see them in a week and two nights. And then you have that little window together. And sometimes, I mean, now like in a week and two nights and then you have that little window together. Yeah. And sometimes, I mean, now like Laura and I will be on the couch and I'll just be scrolling on my phone. Yes.

Because we're just, you know. Yeah. We've had enough of each other. You definitely cherish the time that you have with each other and you're like, if you know they're going in three days, you're like fucking making the most of that. Yeah. And then you're crying at the airport, but then you're like,

actually loving this space, get to go get peace with the girls and just have my moment. And then he's like, I'm coming back here. And you're like, yes. Yeah. How long were you trying for until you were like, oh, why isn't it happening? Yeah.

So we were nearly, we were trying for nearly a year, but I'd already been on the forefront and going to my doctor going, I mean, I reckon heaps of chicks think this. Oh my God, as soon as I go off the pill, we're just going to fall pregnant straight away. Oh yeah, yeah. We meet a lot of people that think that. Yeah. So I was like four months in, why the fuck am I not pregnant yet? So go to the doctor. We do my AMH testing, which we talk about a lot. What is that?

Yeah. So this is a really important, you guys have lots of girl listeners, yeah? Yes. Oh yeah. Okay. We talk about, this is really helpful on our podcast. We talk about this a lot. So if you're a young girl, you want to start trying for a baby and it's not working or whatever, get this tested as early on as you can and a lot of doctors don't just do it.

You kind of really have to ask. So it's called getting your AMH tested and it's like your amount of eggs or your level of eggs. Right. Okay. So we got mine tested and you have to do the blood test at a certain time in your cycle or whatever. And it showed that I, so I was like 26 or seven at the time and my AMH was really low. The number was like two or three, which it probably should have been like 15. And it was on the scale. It was showing that I was like close like my biological whatever was close to me being like 38 or something rather than like 28 or

27 okay and it but what it doesn't show is so I don't want that to scare anyone because what it showed is my egg count was really low for my age and you can't grow more eggs so what you have is you're born with eggs and each month you lose them so you don't get more. But the quality of them was really high. So that's what we found out later when I started to do IVF. So double-edged sword. Yeah, so you can have really high egg count but really shit quality eggs, which is why a lot of people miscarriage a lot.

I mean, I don't want to speak too much. I'm not a doctor, obviously. But that's when my doctor was like, you know what, this is kind of unfortunate. For your age, you have a really low egg count. Turns out my best friend, Chloe, who I do the podcast with has had, also has a really low egg count. Strange. She was like, you know what, keep trying for the, till the rest of the year. And then let's start thinking about freezing your eggs. You're still really young, but let's start thinking about doing IVF and freezing them and

shit then. But, um, Trump passed away like a month later after we found out that my egg count was low. So I, yeah, I did go on and do IVF and like have his baby later. But, yeah, I didn't really imagine I'd be doing that. I did think I'd be doing IVF but I didn't think I'd be doing it alone. Yeah, okay. You mentioned Chump passing. I do want to say I'm sorry.

When you hear about your story, you're like, it fucking breaks my heart. It's so tragic. One of the really unique things about your story is that in a moment where you're dealing with unimaginable grief, you're then trying to digest that. But then at the same time, this idea pops up that, hey, maybe we can extract sperm. Who had that idea? Yeah. So I think someone said to me like, like pretty early on, like, fuck, maybe you're pregnant right now. And like, I don't know. I just, I think that just went completely over my head. I was like,

I don't know, chumps just like not alive just went completely over my head. I was like, I don't know, Chump's just, like, not alive right now. That's the weirdest thing ever. Like, I don't know. Was this, like, in the first, like? Yeah, like, probably, like, on the day. On the day? Perhaps, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Like, I don't know.

I can't imagine. Everyone knew we were trying for a baby, so every month my friends were like, how are you going? Are you pregnant? Like, you know, it was like that. So the girl's like, fuck, what if you're pregnant? And I'm like, oh, just what a weird fucking thought. Like I still don't even believe that Chumpy's not here

and it's been nearly four years. Like it was just such a state of shock. But my friend Laura Eneva, who we actually met at her party, I was just telling you about, she had heard of her friend's partner passing and her friend saying overseas, this was a story that happened overseas, and her friend saying, I wish I got his sperm so that we could have more babies because she was pregnant when he passed and stuff and she wanted more.

And so she said to my mum and my brother and Chloe, hey, you know you can like retrieve sperm. I don't think it's that common. I hadn't heard of it. Yeah, this is the first story. Crazy, hey. Yeah, not the first time hearing it out of your mouth, but this is the first story I've heard where you could do that.

I would never think that. So fucking bizarre, like so bizarre. My mum and Chloe started contacting the – this is like they had literally floated the idea with me and I was like not in any state to be talking to, but I literally was, they were like, do you want us to look into it? It was kind of just like, I don't, I just said, yeah, I don't know. Fuck, go away. Like, yes, whatever.

Did you know that time was so important? No, I didn't know at the time. I was just like, yeah, I don't know. Like, what are we even talking about right now? Like, time just died. Like, it was such a, do you know what? My friend Laura, yeah, so Laura had mentioned the idea and then Chloe and my mum were like, what the fuck are you talking about?

That's so weird. Like no. They kind of like were like just shut up. Like just brush it. And then she was like, she kept pushing and she was like, no, no, this is like, yeah, and I don't want all you guys to regret this later and you have to do it now. This is the story that I know later.

I wasn't privy to these conversations at the time, you know. I've met Laura before. Yeah. It's so crazy for her to like just have that place of mind to go, okay, well, everyone's grieving for the loss of someone here. Yeah. And then to go, but there's something that we could get out of this. I know for me I'd be like, should I say anything?

It's so brave of her to say something. And it's so admirable as well actually because she was a really close friend of Chump's. The loss of Chump really affected her. So for her to switch into this like, no, this is like almost just being so realistic and having to, I don't know, have those conversations. And I think she knows being so realistic and having to, I don't know, have those conversations. And I think she knows me so well and was like,

you guys are trying for a baby. I think this is something you should do. And she was really pushing for it knowing that if we didn't do it now, it's something I could regret later. Like I just couldn't imagine if my kid wasn't here. What the fuck? So your family started then making the phone calls and started digging around to see like the process of how it happened?

Is that right? Yes. So like Trump's family was in town too and we were all like, yeah, I don't know, like yes, just have a look into it kind of thing. And then Chloe and my mum started making calls. So there was this lawyer that they called, they happened to call and he had weirdly there was like one other case, maybe there's a few, but there was one in other case recently-ish in Australia, in Queensland, that this had happened.

The guy had died and Ayla Cresswell is the story. I Googled it and stuff. She had done this and through this particular lawyer, which is so random that we found him and we were chatting to him. It was like, yeah, I've just done this. It's like this weird universe thing. So weird. Why do you need a lawyer?

Can you give consent like as the partner or? Chumpy's parents also had to sign something too, I think, from memory. Yeah, so the lawyer had to just put in paperwork stuff and then for the coroners to go in and like actually do the procedure. It must cover a whole bunch of different things. Yeah. In case something really bad happens to you or something really bad happens in the process and then there can be,

you know, the family can feel, you know, shortchanged here or there or however it might be. So I'm sure having a solicitor involved is probably the best way forward to get everyone's consent in one place too. I'm not so all over the legalities. I feel like this question comes up a lot and I really should know and I just fucking don't. I just try not to think about it.

I'm like, she's here and you're not taking her away and that's that. I don't care about that. One of the crazy things is that they say the window is about 36 hours. Yes. Did you know the exact time? Not really. I remember the doctor who actually was having a day off that day and Chloe was cold calling doctors and the receptionist was like,

there's this, this was like the fifth doctor she'd called, by the way, and the receptionist was like, he's not in today, but this is a really interesting thing that you're asking me and he loves learning so I'm going to ask him, blah, blah. Wow. He came in on his day off. It was actually night time that night and he went into the coronary and whatever, the morgue and stuff.

And anyway, did the procedure on the, yeah, in the 37th hour. And he, I remember him saying, time's so sensitive, you have to legally do it within a certain amount of hours. Yeah. Where he got there just in a nick of time, like into the last hour or something. Wow. But his sperm was so healthy or whatever and there was some wriggling

around still. So he's like, yeah, IVF in general is always a risk and it might not work. But he's like, I just have a good feeling about it. I saw them being healthy and wriggling and moving. So he was really happy with the sample that he retrieved quite late in the piece. But he did tell me that sperm can survive in someone's body a week after they've passed, but legally you're supposed to

get it within the first like two days or whatever it is. Wow. Okay. Interesting, fun facts guys. I know. And I know like it was such like a turbocharged couple of days, obviously with everything happening on you, emotions are heightened low everywhere. I can't imagine. Do you remember in that moment how that made you feel that that had distracted it? And he had said, I have a good feeling about this. Honestly, at the time I wasn't thinking babies anymore. I was just like, what the fuck, how am I going to survive this day and tomorrow and the next day? Like every day at that point felt like a freaking mountain, Mount Everest that I had to climb to like

survive and go to bed that night and figure out how I was going to sleep that night. Like those early days, you're not thinking. I was like proper in so much shock. I was actually just not thinking honestly for like six months. How long was it before you thought, okay, well, and like, excuse my ignorance here, but you have to go into the clinic, I'm assuming. Do you have to, have they already got eggs already? No, they didn't have eggs.

So it was about six months after he passed away and, like, I think I just woke up one day. I guess the idea that we had his sperm was always somewhat in the back of my head but, like, actually not, like, I don't think I really thought I was going to go through with it alone. But one day I just woke up and felt so strongly about it. I was like, you know what, let's make the appointment. Let's chat to this IVF guy and just see how that feels.

And I went in there with my mum and he was like, I remember him saying, I think he said something like it'll probably be a 30% chance that we'll pull this off kind of thing. And I don't know, I went away, we thought about it and I think it just felt right. So he passed away in July, 2020, December, 2020, I did my first transfer. And then I was actually down in Hathead with some friends for New Year's Eve. And yeah, I had, I had the transfer in me and I actually missed, like, no, I don't want to say miscarried, but the embryo didn't stick. So IVF had failed essentially and I saw it come out of me when I peed,

like just like a bit of blood and shit, like a bit of stuff coming out. And I was like, fuck, I think that's the little embryo coming out. And then that night was New Year's Eve and I can't even tell you how freaking depressed I was waking up on that. So that would have been 2021, the New Year's Day. I was like, oh my God, I feel like 2020 is now over. Chump was here in 2020 and now we're going into 2021. He's like just gone. Like I'm leaving him behind. And then I was like, I've also lost this baby and I just like, I really thought this was, this is going to happen. So baby's gone. That had gone out of my life.

And then new year was starting. Chump wasn't here. I was like, what the fuck is life? And like, I was so down. I don't, I couldn't tell you how you get out of it. You just have to get on with it and put one foot forward. And like, there's just no option. You just have to get on with it and put one foot forward. And like, there's just no option. You just got to keep going. Like you just, you just have to get through each day. Some days feel like they go on forever. I used to get scared for nighttime. Cause I'd be like, how am I going to sleep? Got back from Hat Head and I was like, cool doctor, it didn't work

out. My period's here. What happens? Should we try again? Blah, blah. He advised. I was like, out my periods here. What happens? Should we try again? Blah, blah. He advised. I was like, I was very much like, let's just keep going. Let's chuck the next embryo in. I had three. So I'd already done one. I was like, let's just keep going. I don't want to waste any time. Like I need something to fucking look forward to in life right now. I'm not good. And he was like, you need a month off, rebalance your hormones, sort yourself out, like go, I don't know, whatever. And that pissed me off listening to him, but it was probably the best thing I did. Had a month off IVF, just went and tried to get through life.

Came back in Feb and did another transfer and I, yeah, my mum came in with me. I just like knew this one was going to work. I don't know, I'm not really a woo-woo person at all, but something just was like, this is my kid to work. I don't know. I'm not really a woo-woo person at all, but something just was like, this is my kid. This one is the one. And, yep, nine months later, Minnie came out.

It was a girl. I didn't find out it was a girl. I found out when I had her in the birthing suite. Everyone said she was going to be a boy. And, yeah, she was a girl. And I knew she was. I was like, I bet this is a girl. Like I need to disagree. Like I kind of wanted to be different

because everyone was like it'll be a little chumpy and I think they wanted it to be a little chumpy. And I was like, nah, he's going to give me a little best friend. What was your pregnancy like? Do you remember anything about it that you thought, oh, I fucking hate this part of it or something you really loved about it? I, Chloe, my best friend's pregnant at the moment. She's very pregnant at the moment.

She's over it right now and she's just like, get this thing out of me. And I'm like, it makes me keep thinking back to my pregnancy and I'm like. Did you have any cravings? Yeah, yeah. I just ate so much just chocolate, just Cheesy Mike Scrolls. How good's a Cheesy Mike Scroll? Cheese, Veggie Mike Chocolate. I was real sweet and savoury.

I wasn't really one or the other. Oh, and parsley and, like, randomly just eating parsley from the, like, literally just biting into it like a bloody, like a horse. Like a horse? Like in grass. How are you and parsley now? I love parsley still. But, yeah, I don't eat it like a horse anymore.

I open your fridge and it's just all parsley. Yeah, there is a fair bit in there. You should open it. But, look, I think I was pretty lucky. I vomited a lot in the start. I had heaps of morning sickness, but it was all pretty funny. My friends used to just think it was hilarious. I'd be walking along the beach with them in the morning.

I was like a real early riser. A quick yak. 5 a.m. me and the dog would be walking along the beach and I'd just be always spewing like at the beach. Yeah, and it was funny. My friends would film it. We all like, they still send me videos. They're like, look what I found.

I'm just like, I was in the main street of Brunswick, like outside the bakery, just like proper projector vomiting in the street. My friend just sent me the video the other day. I'm like, yuck, what's wrong with me? It's funny too because we're. You couldn't send us that video. Yeah, I'll send it to you. I got it. I the video the other day. I'm like, yuck, what's wrong with me? It's funny too because we're- You couldn't send us that video. Yeah, I'll send it to you.

I would have like got it. I posted it the other day. It's funny because, you know, pregnant women are usually, they're sick in that phase where it's kind of like you can't really, if you don't know them and you're an outsider looking in, you can be like, are they just really hungover or are they actually? Yes. A feeling you can't describe. It is like a real hungover feeling and just a flat like bleh,

like I just have no energy. Like I just, you just feel so shit in the first few months. But overall, I do think I got pretty lucky and had a good issue. Good run, yeah. I look at Chloe and I'm like, man, you're uncomfortable. And I was not uncomfortable at the end. I think I'm a lot taller. I saw a video from you this morning when she was walking up on me

and she just looks over at it. It's kind of like I get like my wife was like, I miss being pregnant in certain stages, but I can imagine that that last stage, and I do kind of remember what it was like when April was really uncomfortable, but, yeah, I can imagine that last. I keep saying to her, you're going to miss this belly, like stop wishing it away.

And she's like, shut up and get it out of me. But I do miss the belly. The novelty of having that big belly is so fun. Like I just love that. I think I love everyone coming and touching it. Like some people like don't touch my belly. You're like, come and get it. I'm like, come and get it.

I love it. Did you go drug free? Yeah. You? Fucking animal. I don't know why it was fucked and I recommend getting the epidural. I reckon if I go again, I'm 100% getting all the drugs. I want the gas.

I want everything. I got nothing. It was the worst thing ever. Who was in the hospital with you? Who was your biggest? My mum. Your mum was your biggest? Yeah, she was my mum.

Because you've got such a big support network. Anyone who's met you, follows you, sees you, can see how much the people around you love you. During that time when you were like trying after Chumpy had passed, who were the people that you think that you leant on the most? Yeah, my mum, my brother and my girlfriends. Yeah. And, yeah, they're like I have, I love my friends' boyfriends.

I've got like the strongest support network. Like I've got so many girlfriends, guy friends. We're seriously like a village. Like they're all my brothers and sisters and we're so close. I'm so lucky. So much stuff, so isolated, I suppose, having that support network. You can, those days when you're feeling really shit, like it's just nice to be heard by someone. How do you think for other people who may have a

friend who's going through grief, what are the things that your friends did for you that really helped? Yeah. So I think it is really awkward for the support givers. They don't know like what to say. Do I talk about the person? Do I not talk about the person? Do they want a distraction today? That's me to a T. Yeah. Like what do you you and I always felt really awkward for them I was like I don't want them feeling awkward and not wanting to hang out with me because they feel awkward because they don't know how to dance around my grief or what I'm feeling that day but they were really I was so open with them and I think that's easier for them to just like feel less awkward when I'm just like I don't know just like it's all out on the table with me kind of thing. Whereas like a lot of people would grieve a bit more privately when, I don't

know, but I think just be there. Just keep being there. If they don't answer the phone, just rock up. Just keep texting. Just like, don't give up. I feel like your honesty would really help them too. You're very, sitting here next to you now, you're very honest with everything. I think that would really help a person that's feeling a little bit awkward about how do I help this person for sure. At the start I was pretty open with just going I'm fucking dying today. Like I don't know, be here, don't be here, but like don't even talk to me. If you're going to be here, just fucking sit there and shut up today. Like I just don't feel like chatting.

Or I was probably really open. I think I used to be good at communicating my feelings and now, like last week, I just moved into this new place and I've just been really rattled and like privately doing it, I think, and like my friend, like Chloe and that, they live down the road and they were like walking past or whatever and she saw me just like crying and she's like, what's wrong? Why didn't you tell me?

I'm like, I don't know. I'm just like I feel like I'm not as good now at articulating my emotions and shit weirdly. Why is that do you think? I don't know. Maybe it's more it's so much further on and I feel I don't feel like I know it's valid but I feel like, oh, I don't want to burden my friends with this shit still.

Like I know that that's not how it is and they would never think that. But like I'm like I know they'd be like, well, what's wrong? Even though it could be self-explanatory and then I have to explain like I really miss Chumpy and I've moved and this feels fucked and da, da, da, da, da. But like I'm like I just think I feel at the start it was very much like obviously this is how I'm feeling because of X, Y and Z. And now it's like, oh, why are you so sad today? Like why are you crying?

And I'm like, honestly, I'm just fucking having a moment. Yeah, that makes sense. It's still griefy shit just lingering around. And I know it's valid but I don't feel like I need to like, I think it surprises people more when they find me in a heap crying. They're like, oh, shit, you should have told us. And I'm like, no, I'm just doing it on my own now. Yeah.

Kind of thing. I think a lot of people are like that. Yeah. Well, when you've been getting so much help for a long time, you also have a sense of like, oh, I should be doing this on my own now. Yes, I think that too. And I am really an independent person. So I think it almost like I probably frustrate my friends

because they're like, fuck, you don't have to do it alone. Why don't you tell us you're having such a shit time? Like we're here and I'm like, no, no, like I think sometimes I need to do this alone and you're busy. You guys are getting on with your fucking lives and like so am I. But, yeah, this and like sometimes the waves of grief now, they actually take me by surprise as well and I'm like, fuck, this sucks. Like I've just got to ride this one out and I'll do it alone

because I'm not going to annoy my friends about it right now. Like it's like a bit of a different, different motion. The never-ending rollercoaster. No drugs for the childbirth. Yes, sorry. Oh, man. And for anyone who hasn't been in the room, for anyone who hasn't given birth, what's it like?

And especially because I can't imagine doing that without drugs, but you're in a moment of like extreme pain and then what's it like when you get to see your child for the first time and you get to hold them? Yeah, okay, so hang the fuck on birth. You guys obviously have seen it as dads, but holy moly, like nothing prepares you for that. It is excruciating and you have a plan.

Chuck that fucking plan in the bin. That plan is not sticking to plan. Solid advice. That is so true. Yeah. Like I had a plan. I mean, I'm like a non-planny person, but I was like, oh, yeah, I want to have it in the bath.

Like I'm real zen. You had an idea. I'm going to breathe through this thing. Let's have it in the bath. I couldn't even fit in the fucking bath. My legs were way too long for this public hospital bath. And, yeah, no, the pain I felt. I think Minnie was apparently turned the wrong way inside me and

shit and she was taking ages to come out and blah blah my legs felt like they were gonna fall off they were numb but also killing the pain wasn't so much in the contractions it was more in my lower back and my legs I remember my through my contractions, I was vomiting. So like actually vomiting all over me as well. My mom was, the fear in my mom's face, like said it all to me. I was like, I think I'm going to die. Like I remember saying that to her. And she had had beautiful births with me and my brother. She'd had really quick births and get the, she said to me, birth is painless. It doesn't hurt. It's a piece of cake. I don't know.

This shouldn't matter. I don't think this matters, but like in my head, my mum is a stick. She's like a quarter of the size of me. So I was like, mum's miniature. If she can push out two big heads that me and my brother had and it's apparently painless, this is a walk in the park for me and my baby was pretty small. But the way, whatever the fuck she was pretty small yeah but the way whatever the fuck she was doing in there it was just killing oh my goodness so yeah birth was fucked

and i it was too late by the time i got through all all the hours of dying in the whatever the with the midwives and stuff it was just too late to get an epi like by the time i was like what's going on guys can i get the epidural they were like, you've literally, you've probably only got an hour left. You're about to start pushing. You've just done this for like seven hours. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay, now it's like this is a mental thing and I'm like, okay, I'm not getting it. Like I'm going to do this because I was like I should have got it

like 10 hours ago. But when she came out, I was just so freaking frothing and relieved that that was over and trying to figure out how to hold this slippery little sled because they're so slippery. So slippery, yeah. No one tells you that you're going to drop it. It'll slide right off you. I wasn't in a bed.

I was on all fours on the little tile, whatever the floor is, and she was just so slippery. And I was like, shit, we're all covered in blood and vomit and everything. I'm going to drop this little egg. It took so long of me just catching my breath and chilling for like a few minutes before my mum and the midwives were like, what is it?

Check what it is. Like, what is it? You know, what's the sex? And so that was super cool. And I was like, holy shit. I was like almost scared to like look because I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe I've just been so lost in this moment of just frothing these little slugs in my arms that I haven't even thought to look

at what it is because I'm just so stoked to have a healthy baby that's screaming at me. And, yeah, it was a girl. Sometimes the umbilical cords are also a bit confusing as well. In that moment of chaos. You're Homer Simpson. Did you have to cut it? Did you cut it?

Yeah. How hard is it to cut? It's like calamari. They were like, do you want to cut it, Dad? No. I was like sawing it, sawing through it. My mum had the scissors and was like chopping, like trying to chop. It's not easy.

Someone's got to fucking sharpen these scissors because these are crap. Yeah, literally. I'm in a hospital. Where's the proper scissors to get cut open? They were like kids' safety scissors. I was like, no. Yeah, they're like the exact ones, the plastic ones. But, nah, as you guys know, those moments are ridiculous.

And then I just remember they kind of put me in the bed, babies on me, like figuring out how to breastfeed and like that. But just like you're so off with the fairies, you're just like, what the hell? And then they're just like stitching me up and doing whatever they're doing and that's not even, I'm not even feeling a thing there because you're just so wrapped up in like, oh, my God,

you've got a baby on your boob and such a cool. And my mum was so great in those moments. And was Minnie, was she asleep? We always say you get one or the other. Yeah. Okay. I reckon I got really lucky with the sleep thing. Oh, cool.

She is and still is a fantastic sleeper. I see so many of your stories. She's a good sleeper. She can fucking sleep anywhere, anytime. Like I could chuck her on the roof. But she, there's a few buts. I thought there was a but coming. There's so many, there's a few buts.

So first of all, the dummy. She still has a dummy and that soothes her and that's how she sleeps. How old is she now? She's two and a half. I'm over it. Lola's gone three and a bit and still obsessed. Oh, shit. She will kill for a dummy.

She just like. Okay, this makes me happy. I feel very validated. We try to take it away. It doesn't work. Yeah. There's a lot of people in that boat still, though, that I see. Okay, good.

No, because as soon as she falls asleep at night, I take the dummy out. Oh, you take it. And then she's asleep. But then, like, say, in the middle of the night, she'll be like, dummy, dummy, dummy, dummy. And I have to go in, find it, put it back in, so she'll sleep. And I know I could just do cold turkey, have three really shit nights and, you know, but. People say it could ruin their teeth.

And to them I say, fuck off. Yeah, I'm like, I'm going to be able to afford braces by then. I'm going to work really fucking hard in the next 10 years and hopefully I have a spare few grand for braces. So that's my plan. They're not going to have it forever. Yeah. The other week I was like going to go cold turkey with the dummies

and sent her into kindy with no dummy and she bloody bit children that day and it's so mortifying and fucking embarrassing not just one kid but like she went on a rampage i'd rather my kid be getting bit we have a solution not the other way around we have a solution for this no no we asked the question to people we had a family friend who same scenario and they were like i don't know know what to do. My kid is a biter. And I think it's like every parent's worst nightmare of like, I don't want to have a kid that's a biter. So then after a while of like continuous bites on other kids,

they were like, I'm going to bite my kid. Yeah, I bit my kid. Yeah. Did it work? Well, she cried and it hurt her, but she didn't seem to give a fuck because she went and bit another kid the next day. Well, you've got a Jeffrey Dahmer on your hand. Yeah, I bit her back one time for sure.

So many parents were like, that's what I do. We're all butters. Not me. I don't have butters, thankfully. It's so embarrassing. I'd way prefer she get bit in. And then I went, honestly, I can't. I either pull you out of kindy or I have to send you in with a dummy

because you obviously want to buy it something and it's got to be that dummy, not another kid because this is just so mortifying. Like I feel like the other kids' parents are looking at me going, your kid just fucking, your kid's a great white shark. They wouldn't know that it was your kid. They're not meant to know. Well, the kids can talk now, can't they? So I'm pretty sure fucking Bradley.

Yeah, because Macy got bit on the back and we were, like, trying to figure out who it was, but she was very coy. Really? Good on her. Macy's trying to protect her friend, whereas I feel like all the kids in there are like, fucking mini bit me today, mum. We were, like, rattling off the kid's name and she was like, yep, it was that one, but it was yes to everything.

Oh, my gosh. Shark attack. So very good, yeah. Nah, but then the other butt is colic. So she had colic as a baby and that is just freaking torture. Like the unsettled stomach, the reflux, the vomiting, the screaming. Oh, yeah. So one of like I always just remember these nights where and I wasn't,

I had really good help especially in the first few weeks my mom actually had COVID after Minnie was born so she stayed away from us but some of my friends were like like mom friends left their kids and moved in with me and were there Tiana my main like wet nurse friend she was with me every night in the middle of the night like helping me you know Minnie's crying okay this is what you do you grab her chuck her on your boob, you breastfeed, da-da-da-da, like kind of so literally being my husband. Like she was teaching me everything I needed to know about breastfeeding, you know, just every fucking little thing,

like you get the little rashing on your nipples and all that crap and just like all those things and helping soothe her because she did get really colicky and so like you'd feed for like, at the start it feels like you'd feed for like at the start, it feels like you're feeding for two hours. It was like an hour on each boob. And then trying to get her back to sleep was like another two hours because she'd be screaming and colicky.

And so that just sent me mental. Like I remember just having her in the carrier or Tiana would have her in the carrier and we'd be pacing up and down the hallway. And then one night she couldn't be there. And I just always remember pacing up and down the hallway and then one night she couldn't be there and I just always remember pacing up and down the hallway for like three hours on end. For a 40-minute sleep. She's screaming, I'm screaming, we're both crying.

I'm like, fuck this, like shut up. And those moments just suck. Yeah, my first one was exactly the same as that. Yeah. Yeah, so the silent reflux, I fully resonated with that. You go, you're all screaming at each other for hours, trying to get them to sleep and then it's like they're asleep. Forty minutes later, they're back up.

Yeah, they're hungry again and we're ready to have a- And it all starts again for 24 hours. It's heavy, hey. It is heavy, yeah. How do you deal with the guilt when you have those moments? Because similar, Lola was the same and we had a couple of scares with her and you want to love this child more than anything. But you're just so exhausted and so tired.

You're also so frustrated at them and it's not their fault. But then when you have those moments of frustration and you think, fuck, I should be loving this moment and you're not. Like how do you deal with those situations? The sleep deprivation is the worst and i think if you if you are one of those people that does happen to have like that chemical imbalance after you have a baby and you do go through the postpartum depression thing that like i can imagine how you could fucking spiral because if you had sleep deprivation along with that, you'd just be like, I hate this kid.

It's just torture. That is the worst thing to say. Like that, thank God, was not me. For people who don't have kids, the reality is you have moments of resentment. Yes. You love them. You can't love them all the time.

Like you do like you might be like, oh, fuck this, fuck this. Like you could be in the worst mood and be so resentful towards them. You can feel really, really guilty for a moment, but there you find your ways to get over it and love them like you do the whole time. Yes, and I think I had in my head, I don't know, like if she was screaming her head off and I was really like freaking hadn't slept in like a week,

I'd just lash out and be like, shut the fuck up. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then scream at this tiny, innocent little egg. And they obviously have no idea what I'm saying. So I was like, okay, they're not really learning. The guilt that comes afterwards and you're like, oh, fuck, man. The guilt. You're just like, oh, my God, they're so innocent and I've just yelled at this tiny thing.

Like, is that going to, like, you know it's not really going to affect their life but you're like, shit. But even now, like, I definitely am pretty cruisy but I will, like, honestly, I do feel guilty sometimes when I'm too busy or not super present and, you know, I've picked her up from daycare and I've got a million other things on my mind rather than being in the car and going, Minnie, how was your day and what did you get up to and what did you draw today and did you play in the sand

and what did you bloody learn and da-da? Like if I'm not doing that or if I'm just a bit like, Minnie, shut up, look, mummy's talking or, you know, just like quickly trying to rush through the bath and the bed and the dinner and all that and then you finally chuck them in bed and you're like, fuck, thank God I can do me now. I'm like, oh, I don't even know if I really interacted with her enough to salvo like that shit feels guilty.

But I look at my friends who have a partner and it's so much easier to just be like that tiny bit stoked and have that bit more energy when you're like, hey, can you do bath and bed and then I'll cook for us and then we can all kind of come together and have that and da-da. Like I feel like I'm always rushing and chasing my tail and that like I struggle with that. And I do feel guilty about that a lot but I do also kind of,

I mean when I say it out loud I'm kind of like I also do feel like, okay, I should be kind of proud because she's two and a half. She's actually really healthy and thriving. We've done so fucking much. I was going to say you should be so fucking proud. Oh, thank you. Because it's like parenting is hard. It's tough, yeah.

I can't imagine it. It's hard in a team and there's periods where Laura will go away for a weekend. Oh, that's nice. And at the end of that, I'm like, I'm checked out. You know, you don't get that reprieve. You're like running constantly. And not only that, but then you're working so much as well. You've got the podcast.

Hey, you just got announced as a cover girl first in Australia. Shout out to you. Thank you. So crazy. How are you finding balancing everything at the moment? You've got a million things going on. Yes. Well, I just chucked her in for another day at daycare.

Daycare is the best thing ever. But, yeah, I honestly, I get a taste of what it would be like to be in a relationship because when Chloe and Fish are at home, they live three doors down the road and she knows my schedule. She actually tracks me on fucking Find A Night. She tracks me. Chloe and Fish are at home. They live three doors down the road and she knows my schedule. She actually tracks me on fucking find a night. She tracks me. She knows my calendar.

She'll literally be like, hey, it's nearly 4pm. I can see that you're still fucking in some meeting up at Miami. Can I go pick Minnie up now? And then I'll be like, yeah, bloody go for it. She'll go get Minnie. I'll come back and find her bathed and fed and then she's got dinner for me and I'm like, yeah, bloody go for it. She'll go get Minnie. I'll come back and find her bathed and fed. And then she's got dinner for me. And I'm like, oh, my God. So I get a taste of how good.

I get so lucky with them. Like I get a taste of how good and easy it is. And I get to really reap that when they're home. I'm like, fuck, you're on like, yeah, you know. But then, and that makes me appreciate my village and I feel so lucky. So I just lap that up when I can and then when I can't, I just chase my tail and I get on with that. My brother and my mum, they're awesome.

So I have people that I can call when I'm really struggling. But, yeah, it's a juggle. Like it's such a juggle. You just have to, I'm not that good at thinking ahead, but you do have to think ahead and be like, fuck it, X, Y and Z. How am I going to figure out who's picking her up and what's da-da-da-da-da? So many logistical things you've got to worry about. And we, like, same with you guys, I'm always travelling for work

and flying here and flying there. And, like, I most of the time try and figure out how to pull her out of kindy so she can come because I actually miss her. And then, again, feel really guilty if I'm going away, you know, for a weekend for some job and then she's in kindy all week. Like I'm just like, am I ever going to see this kid? You know, so it's such a juggle and, yeah. I completely understand with the, yeah, like you're sort of trying

to do your life as well but then it's like you're kind of like their whole life. And it's like sometimes you can feel like if you dismiss them a little bit early or just too quickly just because you're caught up in your world but like I said you're their whole world they're waiting for you to respond sometimes. If it makes you feel any better so many other parents are going through the same thing. We're up in the Gold Coast right now. I'm sleeping up here. Tomorrow morning is Thursdays are a daddy-daughter day, which I'll miss because I'm up here.

So those internal thoughts and the guilt that you've got. We've all got it. We've all got it. In some capacity, we've all got it. It's kind of like, you know, your situation's unique with what, you know, you and your kid are like, but everyone's got that something that they go, oh, fuck, I should have maybe not said that or I should have maybe spent that little bit of extra time instead of sat and doom-scrolled for that 15 minutes.

I know. You know? Oh, fuck. Doom-scrolling watching some other fucking kid on TikTok instead of your own. Stupid. Look how cute this kid is. What?

But, yeah, it's true. At Minnie's Kindy there's another kid that also doesn't have a dad and, well, she had a sperm donor situation and such a beautiful little girl and I respect that mum so much because she works her arse off. She works full time and I'm like she gives me like that validation. I'm like, fuck yeah. I never imagined I'd be working this much and doing like, yeah, all on my own to be able to afford what we can do.

And she would think the same as what you think about her. Like we would think about you, like the respect, the pride, like far out it's hard and she knows that. So it's good that you've got that sense that you feel, you know, proud of what she does. She would feel exactly the same about you, I guarantee it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hopefully we've both got each other.

And it's the thing because sometimes I'm like I need to stop saying yes to so much work because I need to have more time for Minnie. But then I'm like there's only one income here and I've got to do it and it'll like, you know, it's just kind of just got to get on with it. I feel like one of the most common questions that must get thrown at you are, are you going to have another baby? Are you ready to start dating again? Be honest, how annoying is it to have that question thrown at you?

Yeah, I feel like I think I used to find it really annoying because I was like, I don't want to say I thought it was rude, but my head wasn't there. So I was like, what the fuck? I'm just like I'm pregnant or I've just had mini. Like what the hell? Like as if I'm going to find someone now and like I felt pressure too. I was like, am I just moving too slow? Should I already be with someone? Like I and like I felt pressure too I was like does that what I'm like

am I just moving too slow should I already be with someone like I feel like I can't like you know and or I had other friends that they lost their partners too and I met them on like line and they already had other boyfriends and stuff their circumstance was different maybe they weren't they weren't having a baby or whatever but I was like holy shit like good power to them like fucking oath that would be so hard to do and eyes are on you people are going holy shit that was too soon or that wasn't soon enough or they're comparing the guys and like passing judgment and shit and I was like oh I don't want that and I was like maybe that's something I just keep super private and stuff but now I'm like actually excited about like what's to come and I'm like that actually excites me now. So now when people ask, I'm like, oh, my God, I want to know too.

What are we going to do? Like who's it going to be? Like just better be a legend and I just can't wait to find someone that I just fucking love and get along with and we just have fun and mini loves and like, yeah. Elodie, it's the first time that we've met, but it's also weird how invested I am in your life. I'm being completely honest.

I'm like, yeah, from the sidelines, like, come on. Love you, Maddie. And I love Laura too. She's the bloody best. As soon as I met her, I was like, I fucking love you. She's a good egg. We're one in the same. And she was like, you're going to love talking to Elodie.

And I was like, she wasn't wrong. We do like to end on one question. I have forgotten to ask it a few times, but I'm not going to forget today. You are forgiven. You're fired. When Minnie is all grown up and she's no longer living with you at home, what would be one thing or a few things that you would want her to remember about the house that she grew up in?

That's a cool question. Well, I actually have this fear that she's going to forget about the house that Chump and I kind of made our home together that I just moved from. So if you had come up last week, that's where we would have been because it's so special to me and it's such a sick house and I just love it and she had so much fun there and I've got so many memories and amazing videos there

and I just hope that she remembers that. But she's two and a half so she probably won't. But I just have in my little thing that we're going to keep driving past that street and I'm going to be like, that's our first house, that's our first house, and she's going to be like, yay, da-da, and always feel like that's home. But I'm now in this little flat and for, like, a month or two and then I'm going to move into this other house and I think, like, Rami and I are is home to Minnie and she's, like, obsessed with the dog.

She's unfortunately got to be a mummy's girl because she doesn't have a dad and, well have a dad. And, well, a dad that's here. And I just think that what she, I hope that she remembers from home is just yummy food, warm cuddles, energy, like good welcoming energy, like come and be who you want here, like this is your safe place. No matter where we are. Like my dad lived in in sydney he passed away a year after chump died but me and chump like say say if we had an engagement party down

there or whatever i'd never tell my dad we were going i'd just like me and chump would fly down or drive down or whatever and we'd rock up at dad's with all our suitcases and i'd just be like like run into his house with dad and just scare the shit out of him and he'd be like fuck yeah ellie like you're here oh my god and we'd dump our bags and be like, Dad, and just scare the shit out of him. And he'd be like, fuck yeah, Ellie, like you're here. Oh, my God. And we'd dump our bags and be like, Dad, just got to go to this party quickly. We're running late. Run out the door. And he'd just be like, yeah, yeah, cool, do whatever you need to do.

Like he was just so cruisy. He didn't expect anything. He was just like, fuck, I'm so glad you can rock up with your bags. You don't even need to tell me. And, of course, you know this is your home and you're welcome and da-da. And Chump was always like, I can't believe you can just like fucking lob up say hi to your dad for two seconds just hug him and walk back out the door and not have to sit there and have tea and chats for hours on end and he's happy with that and then you know go to this party and then come back and then we'll have a big fat day with dad tomorrow but like he was just so cruisy

and just wanted us to just do us and be happy and sometimes I'd go to my dad's and literally just be like, dad, I just needed to get away and have a nap or something and I'd fucking just lie on his couch and just not even talk to him and sleep and like I just always felt so comfortable going to dad's and that was my happy place and my place where I didn't have to be anything. I didn't have to put on a fucking show or, you know, be all like, hey, daddy and da-da-da, you know. Like I didn't have to be anything. I didn't have to put on a fucking show or, you know,

be all like, hey, daddy and da-da-da, you know? Like I didn't have to suck up to my dad at all. Like he was just like stoked for me to just go and be me and that's what I want. That was the longest answer ever. That's good. I'm taking notes. That's what I want for Minnie.

I don't want her to think when she comes back with her fucking boyfriend or whatever and has to visit mum's house, I don't want her to think she has to, like, you know, be on her best behaviour or put on some face or be like, you know, it's not like that. Yeah. I love her and I'm proud of her no matter what she's doing and I felt that so much from my dad.

I didn't have to, I could go and look so dishevelled and hungover and be spewing and my dad would be so frothing to see me and take me in and. That's amazing. I love that. Some parents are a bit judgy. Ah, yeah. Not looking at mine.

Been a bloody delight. Absolutely. And thank you for having us. We've crashed into your floor, your living room. Yeah. So thank you for having us. Thanks so much for coming, guys. I'm not going to be able to get up off the floor.

You've got a broken back, hey? Matt's going to have to lift me up. But it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming, guys. I'm not going to be able to get up off the floor. Yeah, you've got a broken back, hey? Matt's going to have to lift me up. But it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having us in your house and welcoming us into your world. Thanks so much, guys, for having me. It's been such a good chat. Love yous.

See you, legend. See you. See you. I did need to wash my hands at the end of that episode. It's the first time I've done a podcast where I've had to deal with an animal. It came on to me strong at the start talking about the dog here and then quickly made its way over to Ash. And I'd like glance over at you and you're like making out with a dog.

I don't mind a good tongue lashing from a dog. And shout out to Elodie for letting us crash into her house. Yeah, I did get stuck on the floor. When you see the socials of this, we filmed it while sitting on the floor. I've got a bad knee and someone had to help me out. Elodie was like, you guys might

be a bit uncomfortable because we recorded for like an hour and a bit and we're both going, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. 45 minutes in, I had pins and needles.

Couldn't feel the left side of my body. I realized my age midway through that. Hey, but if you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribe, shared

or reviewed on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And if you have any other parents you want Matt and I to interview, we'll try our best. We will promise you that. You can email us at hello at twodoningdads.com or you can DM us at the Two Doning Dads

Instagram page or before Matt yells at me again. There's one more. He yells at me. There's one more thing you can do. Say it Ash. You can go on to the Facebook group. Type in Two Doting Dads and join the chat with us. Shall we get out of here? Let's go buddy. Let's go.

Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.