Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - #85 Cayla George - How My Sister-In-Law Gifted Me A Baby

Episode Date: August 11, 2024

Firstly, HUGE congrats to Cayla for winning a bronze medal with the Opals at the Paris Olympics!!! We're so bloody proud of you!! Balancing a basketball career alongside being a mother to little Pearl, Cayla has faced unique challenges, including fertility struggles and the difficulties of finding the "right time" to fall pregnant. She shares candidly her experiences with period irregularities, a tough IVF round, and the heartwarming practice of "Kupai Omasker," which allowed her and her husband, Kailou, to adopt their daughter, Pearl, from her sister-in-law in October 2022.  Buy our book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm doing my best to give you a seductive wink. I can only mean one thing, my guy. I want to take you into my bedroom and have my way with you. Not again. Just kidding. We've got a bonus episode. We do. Yes.

Aussie pro basketballer Kayla George has stopped by just before she lands in Paris for the 2024 Olympics. Not sure how she managed to fit us in because she lives a pretty hectic life playing for the Women's National Basketball League. She's also mum to beautiful little Pearl, who's flown more flights than any adult I know, following her mum across the globe to support her on the sidelines. Female pro athletes live pretty hectic lives and sometimes it can be a little bit difficult for them to find time with their kids. Which is why Kayla's story of becoming a mother is so special.

She was gifted a child by a family member, but this is a story that's not unique to the Torres Strait Islander community. For sure, it's a crazy story. Should we just get straight into it? Let's do it. Welcome back to Two Doting Dads and One Doting Mum. I'm Matty J. I'm Ash. And I'm Kayla George.

Wow. Very, very well done. You sounded like a newsreader. You're live with Kayla George. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad. And the relatable. And we never give advice, Kayla.

We always say if you're wanting advice, stop right now. Go somewhere else. Turn the podcast off and run as fast as you can. However, if you'd like to give any advice, great. If you don't want to give advice. Don't care. Perfect. Great. If you don't want to give advice. Don't care. Perfect. Great.

Sometimes you accidentally do. Like we find with guests, they always accidentally give some sort of advice that we haven't heard or that people can draw from. The good thing is people's expectations when they listen to Ash and myself normally, they're very low. They're very low. Yeah. They keep coming back though.

And so if you say that you feed your child, everyone's like, wow. They're like, oh my goodness. Yeah. They keep coming back though. And so if you say that you feed your child, everyone's like, wow. They're like, oh my goodness. So much better than that. I feed, we feed ours too. Kayla, I want to go back to the beginning when you are a young child. I kind of get, I don't know if I'm way off the mark here. I kind of get school captain vibes from you. Yeah. I was going to say that. Or like head of sports, or sports captain, definitely. Yeah, sports captain, not school captain. School vice captain.

Yeah. Well, no, just sports captain is the only captain I got in school. I think I was the red colour. Me too, Rosella. Hey, watch out. I don't even remember the name of it. Well, this is awkward. I was Lawson, which was yellow.

Who? Actually, in my first school, because I moved a little bit, I was yellow and I was Barker. So, hey, it was a bit of both. Oh, there we go. You should sit on both sides of it. Were you someone who was always very well behaved, very studious, very disciplined?

So, on all of my report cards, they would say, Kayla would have learnt more if she stopped talking. So on all of my report cards they would say Kayla would have learnt more if she stopped talking. I always hate reading back my report cards because mine are the same. We did yours the other day, remember? You were like, show us no effort. Yeah. So are you more like your mum or your dad?

Oh, my dad got expelled in grade 12 because he got caught smoking in the shed because the science teacher was looking through the binoculars and they caught him walking into the shed and then he flung it onto the old high jump mat and it set alight. So he burnt it down but then they saw him running across the oval with his mate so he got expelled before he graduated. Wow. But, I mean, I don't know if he was a nerd or anything but he certainly,

I guess he gave it. Wrong place at the wrong time. But, hey, that high school got a new gym and I was able to use that in my era, so it was great. He's a hero. Yes, stop that. I think, I mean, just probably the same as me, like social butterflies just would talk a lot in class.

So I don't know. I'd probably be more like my mum, I would say. Who was better at sports, your mum or your dad? My dad was a really good AFL player. We were just in the Hills Football League, Handorf Magpies. I feel like every AFL team's called the Magpies. I don't know. We don't follow it very closely, so I just feel like they're all named

after birds. I mean, yeah, Crows, Magpies, yeah, you're not far off. But, yeah, so dad was pretty sporty, but my mum played for the Shooting Stars netball team, but I guess both a bit of sport yeah, so dad was pretty sporty, but my mum played for the Shooting Stars netball team. But I guess both a bit of sportiness, but probably more my dad's side. If it wasn't basketball, what was the second best sport for you? Netball. Oh, any sports without a ball?

Like high jump, long jump, running? Oh, well, to get out of class I would do all of that for school, like to do the school stuff. I'd do like the javelin, the discus, the shop. I'd do everything. I think I won a steeplechase race once in my Dunlop. What's a steeplechase? Isn't that what horses do?

Excuse me? What are you trying to say? No, I ran in my Dunlop volleys. Remember the ones you could get from Kmart? Oh, that was sick. Yeah, but then when you jump in water, like you've got to try and miss the water, but I didn't know what I was doing. I was just trying to run as fast as I could.

They soak it up. Yeah, so I was like running in flippers. And I've got massive, I have massive size 13 men's feet. Oh, my God. So I always had to start running backwards. Like get us straight into the freestyle after this. But that was cool. I was grade nine, so that was, you know, highlight.

So steeplechases where you, is it like a long distance hurdle? Yeah, it's like a few things around the track, right? Two or three laps and there's like hurdles, there's water, there's. There's the fiery hoops that you have to jump through as well. They claim a few kids normally. After that race, did you think, well, I could have a career in steeplechasing? Yeah, probably for a small second, but I was pretty keen on the basketball. Right.

From pretty early on. I did want to ask, you moved around a heap when you were younger like around Australia you had a little stint in Fiji as well you've done your research okay I did it was very good I did detective Matt over here where were you on February 13th how was that for yourself moving around so much because they say that you know when you're in your early teens it's not good for kids to move around that much? Because they say that, you know, when you're in your early teens, it's not good for kids to move around that much. Did you find it hard or was it fine?

It was the norm. So I didn't really think about it, you know, like, and then I've chosen a career that I'm living out of a bag and moving every six months to a different contract as well. So I think I do remember living in Fiji for four months. That was the longest stint I had there because other times were like two or three weeks. And that was pretty cool. Me and my sister like rocked out Crash Bandicoot

and finished it multiple times. My dad didn't want us to go to the school there. So I pretty much didn't complete grade seven. Explains a lot. He got us a puppy. We named him Gus. We just raised the puppy and played Crash Bandicoot. It was the best life. Oh my God. But no, Fiji was a good time, but yeah, I don't really, um, it was all I knew, you know? So it wasn't really something that I really struggled with. Um, cause then not long after that, I moved to the Institute of Sport in Canberra and I was away from my family. So living out of a bag and on planes all the time is just kind of in the norm. Was the Institute of Sport, was, was that when you were like, this is going to get serious now, this could be a career for me,

or were you always in the mindset of, I will always just play sport? Yeah, it like, this is going to get serious now, this could be a career for me or were you always in the mindset of I will always just play sport? Yeah, it was I'm going to be a basketball player. And that moment when I got my scholarship to the AIS, that was just another goal of mine to help that, the bigger goal of becoming a pro basketball player. And in my mind, because I get asked a lot, when did you know? And I just kind of knew.

That's what I'm going to do. Like I'm going to be a basketball player. So I was like, just kind of knew. That's what I'm going to do. Like I'm going to be basketball. Yeah. So I was like hopeful it works out because that's all I really want to do. How do you get selected? How does that process work? Yeah, so there's like state teams, there's regional teams, and then you get picked for your state team.

I don't know what you call it here in Sydney, but in Adelaide they call them district teams, so like your local comp team. And then from that you can, you know, have the state tryouts for the state team and then from that you can get selected to Australian teams or like the Institute of Sports Scholarship. So it kind of just, you know, gradually goes up. And then from there, I guess at national tournaments when you're representing your state, there's always eyes on you,

like always eyes everywhere. So if you're good enough, you'll be seen. Yeah. What age did you go to the Institute of Sports? I was 15. 15? Wow. Young to be away from you. Yeah, I was away for almost three years. of Sport? I was 15. 15. Wow. Young to be away from you.

Yeah. Yeah. I was away for almost three years. Three years? I was away for three months. I was like, wow, three years. I lived there for three years and then, yeah, started my pro career back to Adelaide with the Adelaide Lightning team when I was 18.

Oh my God. Like that age, like moving away from, you know, your support network to go, like, did you have friends that go to go like did you have friends that go with you or did you? So other people from around the country your age and you all go and you're on scholarship together. There's like 12 of us or 14 of us on scholarship and you all live in the same building and you kind of just train, go to school together,

hang out, go to dining hall together. Do everything together. Learn how to be an adult. Yeah. The hardest part was probably having to do my own laundry. I was like, Mom! But you kind of just figure it out and you're just learning to be a pro. So I really enjoyed my time there because, yeah, I learned to be the best pro I could be.

So when you were 15, what would be the older kids' age? Like 17, 18, like the ones that were about to graduate, yeah. Is there like a hierarchy in the camp there? I think from what I remember, I had some pretty great leaders that like took me under their wing, which was really nice. I never really felt intimidated or scared of the older ones in a bad way. It was more just like a healthy intimidation, like, oh, how great that they've been here three years and I want to be like them.

Yeah, so they were pretty good. I've actually, one of them that was there is now my assistant coach here with Sydney. Her name's Renee Garlop. Shout out to Renee. Yeah. Appreciate you sis. She better be listening.

So yeah, it kind of came full circle, which is really cool. I did want to ask, I'm a child of divorced parents. I was about 12 and it didn't really have a big profound impact on me other than the fact that I was just like, I never want to have a divorce with my future wife. How was it for you? Yes, I was about 11. And my older sister protected me from a lot. Like she still says things to this day and I'm like, really? She's like, yeah, well, this and this and this happened. And she completely just protected me from a lot of the trauma, but she took everything on board and has struggled a lot with a lot of things in her adulthood. But I think there's a massive father wound.

When my mum and dad separated, I felt like my entire career I really wanted to just my dad to see me. So I just would like try and work really hard to make a team so I could tell dad that I made this team. And I still think to this day there's a little part of me that still does that, even though like me and my dad are pretty good. But I just, you know, want to make him proud so badly that I, like, you know, use it as motivation to help make teams and things.

But that's really the only thing I can recall from, like, the separations. I really started just, like, my dad to want to, like, see me and just, like, be proud of me. Because mum says it all the time, but I wanted dad to say it and I wanted dad to be proud. So that's been a pretty cool motivational tool as I've gone through the ranks. I was only good enough to like make the reserve team and maybe get like two wins in a season.

And I was like, Dad, is that enough? And then you're making like national teams and playing at World Cups and playing in Olympics. Are you still like yearning for that approval? I think a little bit. I think I don't think it'll ever go away, you know, and I think even after our tire I'm going to have to, you know, Dad, be proud of my mum now, like as well, like Andy,

all this other stuff that I don't, doesn't relate to basketball. But, yeah, I think there'll always be a little bit of me that, yeah, will always want my dad to be proud. So, yeah, I mean because mum, I know mum's proud because she says it a lot and maybe dads don't say it enough. So maybe, guys, a bit of advice for you. Here we go. Make sure you say it more often.

I feel like there's a fine line between giving praise and also I want to build a level of resilience. Oh, yeah. I feel like my kid's got no resilience. Sometimes. I was like, yay. Lola will do a drawing and I'm like, oh, it's pretty shit. Don't tell your mum I said that.

Proud of you anyway. And your partner now How old were you when you guys met? So I was 22 and he was 20 In Cairns And yeah we were in the basketball community So I knew of him Were you playing in Cairns?

Yeah I was playing for the Dolphins up in Cairns He was playing for the Marlins The men's team of the Marlins And we play out of the dolphins. The men's team are the Marlins. I know. And we play out of the fish tank. Oh, God. I know.

Is it still like that? Yeah, that's what it's called. It's still called the fish tank? Yeah. I keep an eye out for it. Yeah. So, and then we all were out one night and I was like, yeah, let's kiss. And so then it came over. And now it's like how many years later?

13 years later. Is that how similar it was? Let's kiss. Really? I was like, oh, come kiss me how similar it was? Let's kiss. Really? Come kiss me. Then I was like, all right. And then now. Did you actually speak like that?

Yeah. I was going to say, let's go, let's go. Bloody eyes. So yeah, 13 years later, nine years married and here we are. Four dogs, one child. Wow. Wow. Wow.

All with a, oi, let's hook up. Yeah. Let's pash. Let's pash. How long were you together before he dropped a knee? Four years. Four years, okay. Four years, yeah. So not a bad time. Okay. And during that time, were you at the same club or did you travel around a lot over those four years?

So, it's a bit complex in basketball. So seasons are only like six months long. Yeah. You play a million games in six months. Oh, my God. How do you do it? It's wild. I'm like one game of basketball a year. I'm like, oh, I'm buffed.

Yeah, right. Sorry about it. So after that, I think I went to, I played for the Logan Thunder for a little while. So he moved down with me there and then I played in France for a bit and he came over for months at a time there. I think the tourist visa was like 90 days. So he'd come over for like the tourist visa and then come back.

Where else did I play? I played in America. Yeah, and so he got to experience like a lot of world travel. Was he working? Like what was he doing for work? So he was about to go to the mines and then we met. So I was like, ah, sorry. He was just doing like odd jobs around the place.

And then when he was travelling with me, like I was just his sugar mama. Nice. So, I mean, he couldn't work overseas, right? Yeah. But, yeah, now he works with Indigenous kids. Oh, cool. And now disabled clients as well. Yeah, wow.

So he does a fair bit of care work now. So when you guys were doing that long distance period, like how often were you guys away and how often were you guys together? So the longest we ever did apart was two months and that was rank. that long distance period, like how often were you guys away and how often were you guys together? So the longest we ever did apart was two months and that was rank. Like I do not ever recommend that. But like four weeks was like our limit after that. We were like no more than four weeks ever and then we have to see each other.

Yearn for each other. Yes. So we kind of, we figured it out. But I don't recommend long distance. Like long distance is tough. It's a real grind. But I also like had goals that I wanted to achieve in my basketball career and I was making good money so I was like I did say when we first got together I said this is what I want to do this is probably going to be

like what I want to do in life and travel overseas blah blah if you're in you're in let's do it if not like it's been fun but please stay yeah I mean I'm really happy you stayed four, I'm really happy you stayed. See you in four weeks. I'm really happy you stayed and went along with the journey. It's probably been easy for him either. But, yeah, we've been together a fair bit of time now, like this last chunk of years. It was more just the start that it was a bit of long time. He travels with you full time?

Yeah, well, he's living here in Sydney with me now. But, yeah. What was it about Kyloo that you thought yeah this is this is the one for me this is the guy i do want to spend the rest of my life with that's such a they're gonna get well spill it i don't even know no one's ever asked me that question before that's wild honestly it just kind of like my career like you just kind of knew Just like went along with it and then as time went on, you were like, well, this is my person, you know. Yeah, there you go.

So it wasn't like a big ding moment where I was like, that's my guy. It was more just like this is like where our lives are really intertwined and I don't see myself with anyone else and I like how he knows me and I know him and it just kind of works. But, God, he makes me angry sometimes. That's it. That's the key. I've got the divorce papers ready right here. Don't piss me off. No, he makes me angry sometimes. That's it. That's the key. I've got the divorce papers ready right here.

Don't piss me off. No, he's all right. If you're not having big arguments every now and then, there's something wrong with your relationship. I love Laura more than anything. We've just come off the back of one of our like bi-monthly arguments. It's healthy. It's healthy.

It's healthy. You've got to have the ups and the downs. People that say they don't fight, it's not real. It's not real. Yeah. You've got to have a little, even just like, what do you want me to do? I don't know. Well, blow it up! Something blows up. You live with someone for long enough, you get annoyed with something they do, that's for sure. And if you don't, you're delusional. Did you know that the drop knee was

coming after four years? Did you have any kind of inkling? Yeah. Yeah, because I. You found the ring. Yeah. No. Yeah, and we would drive back. I was playing for the Townsville Fire at the time and we would drive back and forth Cairns Townsville all the time and there was this massive sign on the side of the road

and it was like this girl's hand like this with a ring and like a giant ring and it was like, have you asked yet? And like it was obviously advertising the jeweller shop in the little town we were going through. Michael Hill. Might have been like Innisfail or something. And I'd always be like, look at him, like suicide. But, no, we did speak about it and I knew it was going

to happen at some point. But I didn't know in that particular moment. So he did that, you know, nice and, you know, surprised me. But it was beautiful. I didn't want it to be around anyone though. I was like, please, like I'll get secondhand embarrassment. Oh, yeah. Like please don't do it in front of anyone, just like in our house.

For you, I'll get secondhand embarrassment. It's like, please, everyone, look at us, please. Like I don't want you to be nervous. So it was good. You just did it at home. It was nice. Oh, nice. People who do it in a restaurant, all power to you.

If that's your spot, then great. But I couldn't. Where did you do it? We're Fiji. Nice. You did it live on TV, didn't you? No, but we were on a baby moon with Laura and it was a beautiful sunset where we were staying

and Laura was like, so we like went right up until like a week before you're allowed to travel because she was so far pregnant. And I was like, let's go out for a photo with the sunset. And it was such a nice sunset that everyone had come out of their bungalows. And I was like, let's just walk down here a little bit because I wanted to get away from everyone. And she was like, why the fuck are we like in the soft sand?

She's like side to side. Six months pregnant. And I'm like, keep walking, keep walking. She's like, just take the fucking photo. And then I was like side to side. Six months pregnant. And I'm like, keep walking, keep walking. She's like, just take the fucking photo. And then I was like, I started crying. So it was, yeah, the big thing for me was I just didn't want to be around people. I wanted to have it as a private moment. What about the guy who did it on the Jetstar flight recently?

On the way to Bali. He just couldn't wait. I didn't know about that one. It was on the news. That's a lot of pressure. Just wait an extra six hours, bro. Right. Do it at the airport.

What was your story? San Francisco. Ooh. A place called Twin Peaks. Nice. It's like a big lookout. There were people. The cab driver cried.

Not the cabbie. Yeah, and then he was on the phone with his wife going, I didn't even know they were going to do it. There were with his wife going I didn't even know that I was going to do it there was some people around I didn't cry April cried and the cab driver cried it was beautiful

for the cab driver he might have renewed his vows after and then on the way home because we it's one of those places where you're best to pay the cabbie to stay

so you get back otherwise we would have spent the night up there like that would have been weird it would have been freezing but he was like we're on the way back. And he was like, you were cool as a cucumber. I'm like, bro, I was like packing nuggets back here.

Oh, yeah. It's like the most nerve-wracking. It's got to be one of the most nerve-wracking things you can do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Well, we haven't competed in professional sports. Oh, no, but that's a different type of nerves. Yeah, yeah.

That's a lot. Good on you guys. Proud of you both. Well done. Thank you, Kyla. Thank you. At what point then after you guys, did you get married first before you then started speaking about kids?

So interesting time that was. So Kyla's mum was really sick with cancer and so we got engaged on the 17th of March. I was about to go to America for my first WNBA experience in Phoenix. Training camp started on the 15th of April that year or something, the 16th of April. So he proposed. I was like, okay, do you want me to do a rush wedding

so that your mum makes it? Because we just didn't know how much longer she had to go. And I was like, I don't know that she'll make another year because do we wait? Like blah, blah, blah. So he was like, I don't know that she'll make another year because do we wait? Like blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So he was like, all right. He took a day or two to think about it and he's like, all right,

let's do a rush wedding. And I was like, all right, I can do this. Let's do it. I've got five weeks to plan a wedding before I fly out to training camp. Wow. Oh, shit. Nuts. My wedding dress arrived.

We did a sunrise wedding on the 8th of May and my wedding dress arrived in the afternoon. A sunrise wedding? Yeah. At Palm Cove. It arrived at 3pm the day before. I was like, I'm going to have to go down the aisle nude, like at this point.

Anyways, but unfortunately his mum didn't quite make the date. She passed away on his birthday on the 14th of April. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, that's okay. Thank you. But we knew she was like, we think that it was enough for her to know that we were doing that for her. Yeah. So like we felt pretty good about that.

And then so yeah, it was his birthday that sucked though. Like it threw me in the eye of no like so forever now it's like a memory on his birthday. But we know she's in a better place. Like she's not in pain anymore. So yeah, the 14th that happened and then on the 1st it was my birthday. The 3rd of May it was her funeral. The 8th was our wedding

and then I flew out on the 12th to training camp. Oh, my goodness. In Phoenix. Holy shit. So that five-week block was nuts. Yeah, I can imagine. How was it getting to Phoenix and then just being like, what the hell has just happened?

Yeah, and it was my first experience at American. You've got to really be like mentally super stable to like be in that environment. And I did, like I made the team, like it was a decent rookie year, but it was certainly like challenging. Kyla just lost his mom. So he was over with me for a little bit. But then, you know, went back to be with family a little bit too.

And it was, you know, basketball is a great outlet, but that was a lot to go through right before that experience. Yeah. People are like, hey, Kyla, how are you? And you're like, where do I start? You didn't get any time to decompress. I don't even know if I really get time ever to decompress. I'm just like season upon season.

Yeah. I have to ask, did the dress fit? Yes. Because I got extra length on it because I'm a behemoth, so I had to. So I was like, I can't have my ankles freezing when I'm walking down the aisle. So, yeah, it was lovely.

Obviously, you're focusing on your first season in the WNBA. Is there a thought in the back of your mind was like, I can't have my ankles freezing when I'm walking down the aisle. So, yeah, it was lovely. Obviously you're focusing on your first season in the WNBA. Is there a thought in the back of your mind of like when do I want to have kids? Oh, my gosh, yes, 100%. As a female athlete to figure out like when am I going to have kids? What am I willing to miss? Can I get pregnant on this date so I can be back by this date? Will I recover in time? Will I miss that Olympics because I'm not fit enough?

That freaks me out to even think of that. One thing that surprised me and I'm not hugely experienced with basketball but I was reading about you and I was like, holy shit, even as an adult you're travelling so much but then I realised that it's because you don't have an off-season. Is that right? Go somewhere else in the world and play. Yeah, there's not really an an off season for female basketball players.

We play all year round. Like the NBA guys have the luxury to have that big off season. They get paid a lot more money than we do. We're pretty blessed, but we're not like what they are. We can't even compare. There's a way to go in that space. But, yes, we do play back-to-back-to-back seasons. My first break in 10 years was the COVID year because I had to stop.

Yeah. I had to stop. Yeah, because it's like even some of like domestic men's players here, they play for like second-tier teams like in Cairns or Darwin in some – The Marlins. The Marlins and the – And you've caught me at a time where it's like Olympic prep,

so it's nuts. Like I go to Japan on Monday for six days and then I go to Melbourne to play China again for a series and then I go to Spain for a pre-Olympic tournament and then I go to Paris and then I'm back for a bit. So then are you thinking like, I won't get to have kids until I finish playing basketball? That's a really great question. Honestly, like I've thought of every scenario and after the world cup in 2018, we won a silver medal. That was really exciting. Kyle and I decided to try and have kids. So as a female athlete, and it'll be TMI, but if you guys like.

Go for it. We're going to talk about periods. Is that all right? Yeah. I was hoping we were going to talk about periods. Oh, my gosh, we're here. Periods. Let's go. So I was on the pill from 16 to 25.

Yep. And I wanted to stop it because I read an article about it. I was like, oh, I don't want to do this to my body anymore. And I don't really remember what my natural period looked like. So I stopped. I didn't bleed for four years. Not healthy. Yeah. It's not healthy. Can I ask what would be a normal period? Sorry, Matt. Sorry. That was funny. Who bought this car? Sorry, Matt. Sorry.

That was funny. That was the wrong word. What would be a normal timeframe from when you stop taking the pill to when you start getting your period? So for some women it can happen straight away. For some women it can take a few months, but four years is not normal at all. Like to not have any type of bleed is not normal. And then I'm an athlete as well, so the stress and pressure

I'm putting on my body, like it's a lot. In that four-year period where you're not getting your period, what do you do then? Do you go to your GP? Well, saving money on tampons. Now we have a house. How freaked out are you by that? Well, I was kind of just like, oh, all right, no bleeding,

one year, two years, and I'd speak to my teen doctors. One doctor in America was like, you're not drinking enough chocolate milk. I was like, what? It's like, say less. Let's go. Like, I don't think that's right. That's not the issue. But I'll do that.

That's so random. Do they have an explanation to that? No, they're just like, I think you should drink more chocolate milk. I was like, okay. It's done. Thank you so much. He's following me. He's got shares in like, break up.

Yeah, probably. He's a big M drinker. So, yeah, I would just speak to my team doctors and then eventually they were like, oh, it's okay, like, just, you know, keep on on, you know, and after four years I was like, I think I need to see someone. Yeah. Like a specialist.

Yeah. Yeah. A chocolate milk specialist. Yeah. I had a specialist say that I had an issue where my, like when I would ovulate, they wouldn't drop at the right time. They would just kind of hang out. And so I needed to do, it was like one-tenth of what IVF users use,

like in a treatment, and so it made me super nauseous. I was playing basketball, mind you, this whole time. Does that include like still injecting yourself daily? Yes, I was injecting myself for however long. I think it was like three or four weeks I was injecting myself. So I was playing. Like I'm in the middle of a season here. But this was just to get your period back.

Is that right? No, no, no, no, not quite. Sorry. No, I'll get there. Hold on one second. And so then I did this treatment, lay with husband, test a few weeks later, not pregnant. They did say it can take two or three rounds

and there's a high chance of multiples. I was like, oh, octomum, here we here we go but in saying that it didn't work and then i didn't know that covid was going to happen and that the tokyo olympics would be delayed a year so if i knew all that ahead of time i maybe would have done a couple more rounds yeah um but i didn't because i didn't want to interfere with my tokyo prep and i was nervous and i was nauseous for like five months because of the treatment and i was drinking lemon ginger tea all season because I just was nauseous all the time. Just made you feel really sick all the time. Yeah, because I mean I'm pumping myself with these hormones.

And also like trying to like train and play basketball while you're feeling nauseous. I would like have lemon and ginger tea on the sideline instead of water. Like it was wild. Do you have to say to the coach like, hey, I'm not playing as well because of this? Like did you find that it noticeably impact how well you were playing? So I honestly don't think it affected me on court.

I think I just like switch into gear and I just figure it out. But off court, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is horrendous. Like how do people do this? I was doing one-tenth of IVF, like nuts. But from that treatment, I got my period. Right. So that was a surprise. I didn't expect that at all.

Okay. But thank goodness. Yeah. Because now I've had regular periods since then. But I do notice that if I'm at a big tournament or an Olympics or a World Cup or a stressful final series or something that my period's delayed one or two weeks, but it's relatively normal now, which is a huge relief.

So did you plan then if you did get pregnant, were you looking ahead at taking a year off sport? Well, I was going to come back as quickly as possible to prep for the Tokyo Olympics. So in my head I was like, all right, well, if I can fall pregnant around Christmastime 2018, then I have Bubba then and then I'll have enough time at least a year before the Tokyo Olympics to really prepare. But it doesn't work like that.

You can't just, you know, a lot of times you can't pinpoint a date. I'm going to fall pregnant on this date so I can have it on this date. Yeah, totally. Right, and that's, I mean, as athletes it's like really ideal to be able to do that but you can't do that. And so when the treatment didn't work come end of Jan, Feb, I was like, well, I'll just have to wait for another time. And then since then it's just been like my whole career,

just ongoing back-to-back seasons and then what do I miss? But now I'm in more of a headspace that, you know, I'm 35. I do want to give some siblings to Pearlie. Yeah. And, look, I'm not in a rush, rush to like has to be straight after the Olympics. I'm still signed with Sydney. I still feel like I've got really great basketball left to play

but I'm just more relaxed about it. When you sort of got close to that time when the Olympic prep was coming up and you decided that you're going to have to try another time. Do you remember how that felt? Do you remember how you felt? I felt like a failure. But then it was conflicting because I was like, I'm a failure because I couldn't fall pregnant

and I can't do it naturally. I have to do it this way. But then if I was a failure in that, I better not fail in that. So I better make that team and train really well. So there's all this pressure built up too on yourself. Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay. And then you go into Tokyo prep, the way that Pearl was conceived So there's all this pressure built up too on yourself. Yeah, there's a lot going on in his mind. Yeah, yeah. Wow, okay.

And then you go into Tokyo Prep. The way that Pearl was conceived and you've come to be a mom is so unique. Can you talk us through when you made that decision or how the conversation started to go down that, we were just talking about it before, Matt and I were like, how do you put that on the table? Like talk us through it if you don't mind. No, of course, of course.

Kylo, my husband, is a Torres Strait Islander and it's really common in island culture to gift babies to other family members that are struggling to have their own children. Wow. And they truly believe that when they do that they get their own after, they have their own after, which happens a lot. You're not a Torres Strait Islander background? No, no, no, not at all, just my husband.

Although my husband did think I was part Fijian when we first met, so I was like, you know what? I've just lived in Fijian for a few times. Do you listen to what I'm saying? So, yeah, when I first started dating Kailu, I met his family and I knew that a couple of his nieces, his sister had a couple of babies and she gifted her second one to his mum. They lived in the same house.

So I knew of the concept of what, you know, it was about. They call it custom island adoption. There is an island name for it but I'll just give you the English name. And so, yeah, it's very common and it's the highest form of respect in their culture to gift a baby. Yeah. Nina, my sister-in-law, she knew my story. She knew I'd been trying and I'd wanted to have babies.

And I would have had two kids by now if it was like, you know, easy to pick a time. And, you know, it's just not been that easy for me with a lot of different reasons with the period stuff and being an athlete and not wanting to miss events. But so after the Rio Olympics, she sat me down with Kylo's older sister and Kylo and she said, look, we'd love to gift you a baby at some point when the time's right for everyone.

Holy shit. I was like, oh, my gosh, huge, amazing. I wasn't overwhelmed with it because I knew of the practice in the culture. So I was like, oh, my gosh, as if you do that. I was like, oh, wow. I was more overwhelmed that like it could have been happening like soon.

I was like, oh. When you were struggling to fall pregnant, did you think, hey, this may be an option? No, Kylo never really spoke about it but I did speak to his sister Nina about it a fair bit. So it was always like kind of in my mind like, oh, that could be an option but I really do hope to still one day like be able to hold a baby and still like have a baby myself.

But if this is our only option, that's really cool too, like what a blessing. And so, yeah, I guess what year are we now? 2024. I guess at the start of, yeah, 2022 we just finished our boomers season in Melbourne. I was playing for the Melbourne Boomers. And I went home and held like a big gathering from Kyla's family,

my family, at my house in Cairns. And my sister Nina was like, Kayla, I'm nine weeks pregnant. And I was like, wild. But she's like, if it's a boy, we're going to keep it because we've only got the one boy. But if it's a girl, we want to gift it to you. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, when's the test?

When do we know what it is? They would have been trying and stuff without you knowing. Yeah. And then obviously knowing that they wanted to gift you a baby. But then them saying, hey, we're nine weeks pregnant is as big a shock to you as it is to the rest of the family, I suppose. Yeah, no, it was a bit of a shock, but I really wanted to see what sex it was going to be because they were going to keep the boy

because they'd only had one son and they wanted another son. And I was like, that's totally fair. Like, it's your child. Yeah. Even if you didn't want to give him your son, it's your child. So there's still like 50-50. Yeah. So as soon as we were able to, we got the test done and the doctor's exact words were, oh, no, that's your child. So there's still like 50-50 whether you get it or not. Yeah, so as soon as we were able to, we got the test done

and the doctor's exact words were, oh, no, that's a hamburger. That's not a sausage and – no, that's a hamburger. I was like, oh, is that the official term? That's the medical term for it. Yeah, it's a hamburger. Is this the same doctor that's recommending the chocolate milk? That guy was American. How funny.

So, yeah, after that, after we found out the gender, then we kind of just got into like, mind you, I'm preparing for a World Cup, like a major event, while I'm preparing to be a mum. And so, you know, just telling my family and the close friends that I had and they were like, what? Like they weren't really aware of the culture side of it. I don't really, I hadn't spoken about, you know,

how the family do that before. So people kind of took a second to let it sink in. Yeah, I mean, I think it's beautiful. It's lovely. But when you first hear about it, you're like, oh, because it's so different to how Western culture would be. I know. It's kind of like I didn't think that was a thing.

And there'd be so many people listening right now that would be, especially men, they'd be like, but never thought that that would be a situation. There was a lot of troll comments, yeah. Oh, really? When I posted, when it came out, there'd been articles written or whatever, there was a lot of troll comments of just people that just had no open mind or no idea. And that's fine.

Like that's social media these days, right? You can't do anything without troll comments. It's the world we live in. I don't know that you'd get troll comments on this podcast though. No, we get a couple. Normally it's just like you guys swear too much. Yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah, we made fun of a dentist and then people came after us. Oh, really? But we love the dentist. And the doctors. Good, yes. Technically vets, but anyway. Assuming that you'd have a bit of a thick skin, playing professional sport, copping heat from people.

You can still get to you sometimes though if you let it because there's a lot of stuff and it can be pretty debilitating when you're not in a confident headspace because we've always got to maintain a confidence level to be able to perform and play under pressure. I don't know what life is like to not have pressure, like basketball pressure. And if I finish one tournament, it's like, well, one game,

well, then what's next? There's always pressure for the next thing. So I think when I retire in years to come, because I feel like I've got a good chunk of years left in me, I can't wait to feel like what life's like with no pressure, basketball pressure. It's boring over here. Is it?

Well, maybe I'll just play until I'm 70. Yeah, so once we, back to the Pearl train of events, so once, you know, it got closer to the time I had the World Cup, we won a bronze medal in Sydney. We beat Canada in the bronze medal game. Nine days later, I'm in the theatre with Nina. Wow. Getting pearly.

I was really nervous about the connection piece. I was really nervous like about everything. In what way? Well, because I hadn't held, I hadn't, you know, actually been growing here in my belly. So I was really nervous about, yeah, the connection. But skin to skin straight away was with me and it was beautiful.

It was straight away? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Not the skin. I held her straight away then like when we went to the recovery room with skin on skin which was really beautiful. But I was also really nervous and felt really guilty

for taking away Nina's baby. And she said to me in the recovery room, she said, I've actually been holding her for you this whole time. She's not been my baby this entire time. She's been yours and I've just been looking after her for you. So she's disconnected from that. Yeah. I suppose you've got to.

Yeah. So I thought that, I mean, we're really close, me and Nina, so we talk a lot and we've got a really great relationship. I guess you kind of have to to be able to do this, but she was actually just down in Sydney last week with her four-year-old son, so that was really great for Pearlie and Nicholas to be able to have a play. But, yeah, it was a really – I almost would, like, cry any time. Like when we had to leave the hospital and she went to her house

and we went to ours and I took Pearl, I was so emotional because I felt this huge guilt that I didn't anticipate once we had Pearl into the world that I was taking her away from Nina. Yeah. So I had to kind of overcome. Nina would laugh at me. I'm like, oh, she would laugh at me. Shut up.

She's like, get in the car. Yeah. But she had already kind of done it in her head. How do you explain the situation with Nina to the medical staff during childbirth? Yeah, it was certainly in the theatre. They were all beautiful. They all understood. And I guess in the Cairns Hospital, they might be more accustomed to this type of thing happening. Maybe more from an Islander to an Islander, not so much from an Islander to a white woman. But they were really great

in the theatre. And then in the days after that, while we're in the hospital, the doctors and the nurses would come in and they'd direct their talk to Nina and she'd be like, oh, no, this is the mum here. And they'd be like, oh, okay, so they'd ask me questions. That was like, oh, this is exciting. And then one time a social worker came in to ask Serena if she was really sure that she wanted to give up her baby and it was quite alarming and I felt a little offended that they thought I was just like stealing her baby when, you know,

that wasn't the case at all. And Serena, I think chuckled and was like, yep, all good. Oh, my God. I don't know if this worker was really aware of the culture and the situation. And that's fair. She's doing her job. But I was a bit like, oh.

It's kind of like thinking like putting some doubt in. Yeah. I was like, what? What are you doing? And Serena just laughed. It was like, no, no, all good. Like that was the extent of the combo. So, yeah, that definitely made me feel some type of way.

But I get where she was coming from on her angle. But I was like, no, that's my girl. We talk about that connection with Pearl. Did you feel like a mum straight away when you were holding her in your arms? The feeling was just super surreal. It was, I don't know that in that moment i was like i'm a mom i think it was just like oh my gosh this is who i have to look after this is my life now like it was the word mom didn't really come into like probably we were at home and i was in my

environment where i was more relaxed and then i really felt like i was so nervous to even change her first napping in the hospital oh yeah it's petrifying yeah and then everyone really felt like I was so nervous to even change her first nappy in the hospital. Oh, yeah, it's petrifying. And then everyone's watching and you're like. Yeah, and you feel like you need to be instantly the best at it. You're like. Yeah. Yeah, and the first one's a gross poo as well. Yeah, what do they call it?

The tar. Yeah, the black tar is the medical term. Yeah, just like the hamburger, same guy, same guy. Yeah, so I think days after, yeah, once I was home, I was way more relaxed and felt like a mum once I was in my own space. Excuse my ignorance. What's the legalities of all this? Yeah, so 2020.

I don't want to get you in trouble. No, you're fine. In 2020, Queensland, the government finally passed a bill that allowed the Torres Strait Islander adoption to become legal. So we went through, there's a commissioner's office with Torres Strait Islander people that work there to allow this to legally all kind of bind. And so we formally applied to adopt her through the custom

island adoption. So essentially when that is approved, it comes back and we are the names on her birth certificate and her first one becomes null and void. So the birth certificate, we're the parents. So then we choose if we tell her or not because sometimes it can get a bit complex like later in life if there's a child that's been adopted through the island ways and it's not been legally done,

then when they're adults they go to get their birth certificate or their passport and their parents aren't matching up to the names that they thought. So it can be quite conflicting. So in the island community and because in culture too, especially with the elders, if they say this is your baby, I'm having your baby but it's yours, like once it's been given, like you don't talk about it, like it's done, like that's your baby.

Wow. So it can be quite challenging for some of the adults that have been island adopted like now to get things, like I just said. But so we did it all legally only because that bill's been passed recently. So a lot of people as adults are coming out now to try and get it sorted now. It can be quite complex.

So, yeah, we are the names on the birth certificate and we will tell her. Yeah, okay. When the time is right. When the time is right, yeah. I've been thinking about it a bit more lately as she's getting older. I'm like, oh, gosh, this is going to be an interesting one. Do I tell her that she grew in that stomach with Nina Mama

or like how do I tell her? Like it's how we start that dialogue. How do you think you'll play it? I think I do want to say like, you know, with Auntie Nina's belly, like you grew in there, like I don't know, while she's still a bit young to try and plant a few seeds. Don't use too many basketball analogies. I'll try.

Is that advice? Yeah. Sorry. You're giving me advice. No. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to me. Don't listen to me.

I'm not here. So it'll be an interesting time and I'm a bit nervous for that time. Like will she be angry at me? Will she be angry at Aunty Nina? Like will she be all right with it? So I'm nervous for that time. But, I mean, she's such a happy kid and I'm just trying to do my best raising her,

trying to teach her language, trying to teach her culture like her dad's a tourist. And we speak a bit of broken English in the house. I've been with her 13 years so I understand it. We speak it. So hopefully she picks up a lot and, you know, has a great feeling of her culture. Yeah. How was it then in the first few months?

Did you find it was instant that you and Pearl connected with each other? Yeah, I felt there was the breastfeeding thing too. So I just played at a World Cup. So before that, they were like, do you want to take tablets to lactate? And I was like, oh, well, I'm preparing for a World Cup. This is kind of conflicting. I don't want to be leaking at the World Cup. So I chose not to.

And I was like, is that selfish? But people are like, no, no, that's fine. Serena breastfed for a little bit too and then gave us some milk and then we would bottle feed her as well with formula. So she was a bit of a mix and she went to the bottle fine. And then, yeah, it wasn't really an issue, but that really made me nervous too. The connection piece with the feeding and stuff. But honestly, like I didn't even think about it after that first bit of fear, then I just got on with it. You just, I mean, you guys have had newborns.

You know what it's like. You just kind of just knuckle in and get on with it. You're changing nappies. Yeah, you're trying to keep treading water every day. But I definitely felt connected, but it took me probably a little bit to like really like, oh, I'm a mum now. Yeah. Like it just took me a bit to, because I didn't have the nine-month experience

of preparation body-wise, and then I felt like I'd cheated motherhood. Yeah. Like it just took me a bit to, because I didn't have the nine month experience of preparation body wise. And then I felt like I cheated motherhood because I didn't give birth myself and mums are recovering and doing this. I was like, man, that's nuts. It's crazy. Ash and I were talking before, I know with Laura, after she'd given birth, when she would speak to other mums instantly, you're like, well, how was the birth? How long was labor? What was it like? Did you have an epidural? Like a bonding moment you had that shared trauma which really bonds you to other people how was it for yourself speaking to other mums where you don't have that experience of holding the baby you don't have the childbirth story to tell yeah it was interesting because I mean she was nine days old when I flew her to Melbourne to start my season so um people were

like oh you're back already. And I'd be like, sometimes. You bounce back quick. And sometimes I'd be like, oh, yeah. And other times I'd be like, actually, here's the story, like just a little dot-pointed story. Sit down for ten minutes. And they'd be like, whoa.

Like, that's wild. I'd be like, yeah, it's pretty crazy, pretty, like, surreal, like that people, like what a beautiful gift. And then other times people would be like, she's got a rash on her neck and i'm like that's a bit rude yeah i know she has like a bit of x on her neck and people think they could just tell me oh yeah people love to point out the things that you might be or may not be doing wrong yeah let me get some pseudo cream and then how is it trying to still be an

athlete while she's got a newborn child and you're now a mum? Yeah, it was pretty wild but thankfully, like we touched on before a little bit, you know, newborns, they just sleep, eat, sleep, eat. Hopefully. Yeah. Or like, you know, while I'm training, she's in the pram a lot, just having a little mid-morning nap and then I'd have like my trainers or my managers just like helping if she had a little cry. She was really good in my first season.

Like I'm not going to lie, she was a real blessing. She slept really well. For a newborn, like I was up twice a night, sometimes three. But one of my best games, I had like a triple-double. I don't like to toot my own horn, but like this time. For people who aren't familiar, triple-double is? So that's double-figured stats in three different statistical ways. Like rebounds, points.

Yeah, so I had like 30-something, 31 points, like 11 assists and 10 rebounds. So we beat Adelaide, but I was running off four hours sleep. Like that was my worst night the night before that game. That's the key. That's the key. And I was like adrenaline just took over. My first shots, my first eight shots of the game I missed, eight.

I was zero of eight. Oh, my gosh. Oh, judgmental face. I. I was zero of eight. Oh, my gosh. Judgmental face. I had four hours sleep, mate. I was trying to sympathise with you over here. Anyways, it ended up being a cracker game and, you know, triple, double and we won. So it was great.

It was a close game versus Adelaide. But I ended up winning MVP that season, which is wild to me. What? Isn't that wild? Like, yeah. Just like mum strength. Yeah. Right.

And a lot of the time, yeah, it was, you know, raising a newborn. There was footage I saw on YouTube. I don't know if it was a game or if it was training, but there's a team huddle on the court and you're there holding Pearl. And everyone's kind of talking through tactics and you're listening in and you're holding Bub. I was like and everyone's kind of talking through tactics and you're listening in and you're holding Bub. I was like,

does that happen often? Uh, well, I mean, I don't want to hurt. Now she'd talk too much. I couldn't ever. Um,

so yeah, when she was a newborn, if she was settled, yeah, I would do it a fair bit. Just like, I just wanted to hold her all the time. I just wanted to,

you know, you'd have her on the court, like walk through or something or in a team meeting. Yeah. Maybe it was pregame. It must've been like a walkthrough or something. I just wanted to you know you'd have her on the court like a walkthrough or something I was like there was footage you're shooting a three and you're like hell in one arm she's definitely like a little baller baby. She has just been in every different environment in America, in Taiwan, in Australia. Yeah, I think you said you took 14 flights in 14 months, in the first 14 months or something crazy. No, I think now since we've been in America,

I think she's probably closer to like maybe 190 to 200 flights that she's been on. Holy. Is she platinum? They don't give her. Matt's just trying to get her status on Virgin. They don't give her because you don't pay for her. Well, internationally you do. Yeah, Matt's like, I'm silver.

What's she? Yeah, she definitely would be up there. But no, they don't give her. That's crazy. I hate my kids on a flight. No offence, kids. Well, she's pretty like, she moves a lot now. And I was going to say at training last year in Sydney,

I put her in like a little playpen with a bunch of stuff to like get creative and whatever. And at the start of the season, it was great. She'd stay in there for like the 90 minutes and then just towards the end she'd get a bit like restless to come out. And so like we'd almost be finished so I'd go get her out or whatever. But at the end of the season, she'd start piling them up and then make her way up that pile to try and crawl out.

Like she was like done. So this season my mum's going to come down and help look after her because I can't have her at practice this season. She'll just be running amok. She just wants to do too much. They just get to that age where they're like I can move now. Yeah. I'm my own person.

And she'd throw her toys onto the court like when she wanted attention, like oh, ball, ball, ball. Sorry, sorry. Watch out for the giraffe. With those flights, I think every parent out there has got a story where it hasn't really gone to plan. Have you had any flights that have been a bit of a total disaster? So we're coming back from Perth.

We just had a game in Perth, heading to Sydney, a few hours left on the flight. And I always restock my travel nappy bag, always, because we're on the move so much. Every time we get back from summer, the first thing I do is restock the nappy bag. Didn't restock it this time. What an idiot.

So she's done a massive whopper. And so I was sitting next to this lovely nurse. Classic hamburger. Yeah, classic. So I get up to get the nappy bag. I was like, oh, my gosh, I haven't restocked. This is horrendous. We have three hours to go.

She's done like over the outside, like everywhere. No nappy at all? like oh my gosh i haven't restocked this is horrendous we have three hours to go she's done like over the outside like no nappy at all no she had i had not none no no no yeah so and staying i was like oh my god this is rank and the nurse is like oh just use two sanitary pads i was like oh my gosh and then the lady behind i was like am i in a movie the lady behind was like i've got one this is like my guy talks the airplane. And then I got her one and then another one from the air hosties and then I stuck them together and made this makeshift, like, nappy. We say kimby in Torres Strait Island, we say kimby and nappy. And then it was not great. And obviously that's not really meant for lots of liquid.

Absorb. So much absorb, yeah. There's only so much liquid. Yeah, right. Liquid. Absorb. So much absorb, yeah. There's only so much liquid a pad can take.

Right. And so we sat back down and maybe 20, 30 minutes, like, it was soaking. I was soaking. We were all just like a big puddle. She just decided to wee herself everywhere. That was fine, like totally fine. A couple more pads from one of the air hosties, round two. It lasted until we got home. I mean, that was not terrible, but, you know.

There was no other babies on the flight at all? You could have – I mean, honestly, I was at the back of the flight. I didn't even think of that. We just had the pads and just kind of made it work. You just made it work. You make it work. That's so family.

We were so far the time we got home, but, hey. That's like the best parenting quote, just make it work. Just make it work. She was comfortable. It is strange as a parent how quickly you become totally comfortable being covered in other people's feces. Yeah, I know. You're like, oh, this kid's shouting at me.

Oh, well, anyway, so back to it. Yeah, honestly, yeah. But that was, I mean, that was okay. Like you just kind of, you can't do anything in that moment. She's projectile vomited on someone before too in a plane. And she was like, it's okay, I'm a mom. And so I was like, thank goodness. With the person next to you?

Yeah. Oh, shit. I was like, sorry. Like a whole milk bottle. I was like, oh, sorry. I know. And if they're not a parent, they're just like completely mortified. Can I ask you guys a question?

No. Well. Of course you can. Of course you can. Have you ever sat next to someone on a flight that's like made like a condescending comment about kids on a plane? It's probably been me, to be honest. I haven't had anyone.

Are you going to shut that thing up? Oh, really? They didn't. Oh, my God. I would never. No, I haven't. Thankfully, I mean, my kids haven't been on 192 flights, so I'm assuming.

And then also in America, they haven't been to America, and you see all these videos that come out online. It's an American airline. Yeah. Give us what you've got, what's happened. Oh, well, no, just one time I had a guy on a flight and then the air hostie moved him because of this. But he just made a comment like, oh, this is going to be fun, like this.

And I was like, oh, that's not really that bad that he said that. But I was like still annoyed because it's like, oh, relax. You should have knocked him out. I'm the one that has to hold it. And then the air hostie walked past and heard it and then moved him. I was like, bye, now I've got four seats. I have. There is one flight in particular.

And luckily I was so fortunate that people around me were being legends. It was the first time I'd flew with Marley by myself. And I was, you know, as a new dad, I was still kind of figuring it out. And she just started being on the bottle as well. So I was like, no, I got this. And then midway through the flight, she just started screaming like she was being murdered. It was like blood-curdling screams, full volume.

And I'm like trying everything. I'm like trying the bottle, doesn't want it. Changed nappy, fine. I'm like standing up and, you know, trying to comfort her. Like nothing was working at all and like this baby is just screaming non-stop everyone around me was like dude it's totally fine like it's not a problem that's great and i'm like it's those situations as a parent that like fuck i don't want to have a screaming child you get this weird sweat yeah i get this weird sweat

the back of my knees do that i'm like i weird sweat. The back of my knees do that. I'm like, oh, I'm dripping from the back of my knees. People are like, not worried about the baby, but you. Everyone's like, oh, slipping over around me. But it's like, it's so comforting when people are like, dude, it's cool. Because when you're not a parent, like growing up, and you're on a flight and you see a kid screaming, you're like, shut that up.

But then as soon as you're a parent, you're like, feel so bad for them. Even when, I don't know what it is, when a baby cries near me on an aeroplane, I get the knee sweats. It's not even my kid. I'm like, I feel so sorry for you. I just want to help you somehow. Do you carry spare pants when you travel? Yep. Sweat pants, okay?

Okay. No, it's, okay, I have sweaty knees, whatever. I didn't know this about Ash. Yeah, well, there we go. No, it's okay. I have sweaty knees, whatever. I didn't know this about Ash. Yeah, well, there we go. We're learning so much. Next one. Next one. Ronan is a screaming baby.

Just be like, let me touch the back of you. Good luck come summer. You do get some eyes, though. Not everyone's, like, really happy about it, you know. Like, for the most part, it's all right. But sometimes you get eyes. You're like, well, what do you want me to do about it? Yeah, totally.

You're probably taller than them, so stand over them next time. Yeah, I mean, if they stood up, I'd let them know. Yeah, bitch. Hey, stop swearing. Sorry. I'm just kidding. So now you are 35. Yes.

Still act like I'm 21, though. In a good way. Don't we all? In a good way. You want to have a bigger family. Would love to. You'd love another child and another dog time no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i'm just kidding you've got four

already and just timing wise what does it look like for you in terms of growing your family and giving pearl another brother or sister yeah that's a really great question um i've signed on for another two years with sydney i signed a three-year deal so I've got two more years in my deal. So I don't know. I don't know what that looks like for me. After these Olympics, is that my last one? I don't know. Like is that my last big event with the Opals?

I'm not sure. I don't like to close any door officially fully. My focus right now is just the Olympics and just that only. After that though, there is a Sydney season and, yeah, do I try and fall pregnant within that season and then back before the next one? You know, can I finish that one being a couple months pregnant and then play the next one too? Like there's my athlete mind, you know. Or do I have to wait until they're both finished before I try

and be almost, I would be 37. Yeah. So, yeah, I think there'll be more of a relaxed approach after these games to be a bit more willing to just be okay with whenever I feel pregnant, not so much, oh, well, we can't now because if I fall pregnant, I can't compete at the Olympics and that would just freak me out. Because it's so close. Honestly, though, like if I did fall pregnant and I couldn't compete

in this Olympics, like it'd be fine. Like it'd just be something, it's a beautiful thing. I want to, you know, have more kids. You know, I'd deal with it. You know, it'd be more of a grieving of not being able to compete at the Olympics. You know, I'm in a good position to potentially go to my third one and then after that be a bit more relaxed about whatever timing

was right whenever it happened is cool because I don't really have anything to really, you know, compete at unless I'm, you know, seeing the Sydney stuff. But at this stage I'm going to be playing in those seasons because I'm not pregnant. Yeah. You know what I mean? We've seen female sport come so far over the last five, ten years.

Do you think it will get to a point where you don't have to do back-to-back seasons? You can just play the one season per year? I hope so. Not very soon though, I think in years to come, which is unfortunate. But, I mean, Caitlin Clarke, like in America right now, has just gone nuts. She's gone ballistic, hasn't she? And it's actually, it's wild.

And I love that for women's basketball and I hope that it translates over to Australian women's basketball too. And we have an Aussie playing with her right now, Christy Wallace playing with Indiana Fever, who is on the national team and is a bloody legend, absolute legend. I hope that in generations to come that it is better, even a little bit closer because there's such a big gap still

for women's basketball compared to men's basketball. Especially in the States. I know Caitlin Clarke is like this unicorn player. She is absolutely amazing. I've watched a lot of highlights of her and it's kind of really good to see it take off so much on social media that it's giving more recognition but the gap is so big. Like the rookie salary in the WNBA is like 70 or 80,000 US dollars

where in the men it's like a mil or whatever it is. Yeah. So there's just a long way to go. I don't want to pass your ego but I will. I find it just absolutely crazy trying to perform at such an elite level nonstop back to back to back whilst also being a mum. Like it just blows my mind when I think about the early years of being a new dad and like that was hard enough

and then add on like a layer of any type of responsibility and pressure and I was crumbling. Yeah. I was absolutely battling. Mums are built different, I think. Yeah. What Matt's trying to say. Thank you.

That's really kind of you. And honestly, I look back and think how did I do some of the things that I did. But Pearl has put a lot of great perspective in my life and so it almost helps me mentally relax a little more for games. So I'm not like just thinking about myself and how I need to perform or whatever. It's like, oh, has Pearl, do I need to change her nappy? Oh, all right, let's go to It's like, oh, do I need to change a nappy?

Oh, all right, let's go to the game. All right, do I need to change it when we're there? Is she fed? Yeah. What's Virginia's night? What's Virginia's night? Honestly, like it's a whole different mind frame and I think it's really helped me and I think I'm playing better basketball

now than I was in my mid-20s. You need to start giving all the young players kids now. Get those four hours of sleep. As they go into the Olympic Games. If Kayla can do it, so can you. No, she's actually a really good kid though. All she knows is this lifestyle, like planes, teammates, random teams around her wanting to hold her and cuddle her

and running on the court. So she's got aunties in America, aunties in Taiwan, and they actually couldn't say a lot of their, like they couldn't say Pearl. I guess they struggle to say their Rs like when they try and speak English for some of the ones that struggle to speak consistent English. My friend was called Lachlan and that's a tough name

for people who don't speak English. So her name in Chinese is Zhenzhu. Zhenzhu. So they would do Zhenzhu, everything, Zhenzhu. So I was like, that's fine. I mean, it means Pearl. That's cute. So I actually got that tattooed on my shoulder.

Did you? Yeah, so Zhenzhu. I mean, I don't have a lot, but just a few. But I have tattoos from everywhere. Oh, no. So it tells a story. When Pearl is all grown up and she is no longer living at home, she is an adult on her own and maybe she's starting her own family,

what is the one thing that you would want her to remember about the house or the houses for you that she grew up in? That no matter where she went, she still felt the same love from us. That was probably, that's probably the main thing I wanted because I have thought about this because we have moved a fair bit. She's lived in multiple houses already or apartments or spaces and I just want her to feel loved and comfortable wherever she is. So, I mean, that's probably my advice that I would give to her. Yeah, that's nice.

Yeah. We always love to end on that question because we always get such a beautiful answer like that. I mean, yeah, thank you so much for taking the time and it's a beautiful story how you became a mum. It's different and we love to hear those different stories and, yeah, thank you for your time. Oh, thanks for having me, guys.

I felt like it was a lot of me talking but... That's the point. That's what it is. Welcome to the podcast. Matt, that is a very unique story to me. I've never heard of anything like that before. And if you've enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review. Five stars.

Share it with anybody else that thinks they could use that unique story in their lives. You know a few people, Ash, they leave a five-star review, but no comment. How dare you? No comment. They're probably pet parents. That's what sort of people would do that. All I want to say is if you're going to leave five stars just leave a little

just something. Give me a nugget. Any nugget. A word. A singular word. That's all I need. Speaking of nuggets I'm hungry.

Let's get out of here. Before we get you your nuggets Ash I do want to say that if you have any other suggestions for parents for us to talk to on the podcast send it our way on Instagram or at hello at 2dodingdads.com.

There's also the Facebook group. There's many people in there. Search Two Doding Dads on Facebook. Join the community. Join the chats. Join the revolution. We'll see you guys later. Bye.

See you. Bye. Two Doding Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.