Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - How would you like your placenta - smoked, fried or grilled?

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Matt makes two emergency trips to the hospital with Marlie and Ash relives the moment Oscar stopped breathing (both stories have a happy ending). We also have a crack at answering your parenting questions: How did you manage sleep in the first few months? Would you consider placenta encapsulation ? What's the most arsehole thing your kid has done? Follow @twodotingdads on Instagram here. Or slide into our DM's with any parenting question you need answered by a couple of doting dads.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm surprised you haven't said anything about the new piece of equipment behind me. The green bin. Have another look. Have you got an electric mower? Uh-huh. I can't even see it. Yeah. Hang on, let me stand up.

That's 18 volts of pure power right there. I'm proud of you. You like that? That's amazing. You're so progressive. I've noticed as well that the grass is not mowed. Welcome back to episode two. Two dotings. My name is Matty J. I'm Ash.

We've come back for round two. We were umming and ahhing about it. Secretly, we knew we were coming back. I know. In the last episode, you said, we don't know if there'll be an episode. By the end of the episode, you'd committed to doing this every week.

Just like that. We did have a few-week plan in place. There's always going to be a round two, but you've got to just have an air of mystery. You got to keep people wanting more absolutely and if we said hey this is going to be eight episodes people would be like i'll listen to the next one yeah and then we'd count down the eight episodes yeah oh my god i've got like six more to do after this one it is nice to see though there's a lot of wives i'm assuming or girlfriends who are tagging their partners or tagging the husband saying,

you might like this one. Yeah, I think they're doing that to be like, you might get some advice on how to parent. No, you will not. You will not. You might find a little bit of relatability in it and be like, oh fuck, I got shat on this week too. Yeah, I think if there is a dad right now listening,

going, I haven't read the books. I don't know what I'm doing. I've not invested any energy whatsoever into like learning how to be a dad and they've come here god help you yeah god help you there's nothing like the reality to set in that there's no actual advice in this conversation i don't even know where my kids are right now that's how i'm saying no they've been safely looked after by a professional. That's a lie. Where they get fed, probably. I love how I get the thing on the story app, what they've eaten, and it's like, okay, so they had chicken and rice for lunch.

Ate all, first of all. Bullshit. That is... The biggest load of shit ever. There's no way my kid's eaten a full meal. I suppose they're starving them up to that point. At my house, they know where the up to that point at my house they know where the snacks are so yeah do you know what they always say because i have questioned it i've

come in and i'm like hey i've just marley's a really bad eater did she actually eat all her food and they go oh yeah they're like what did the app say ate it all and then they always say when they're in the environment where all the kids are eating they like to follow each other and i we find that you know the kids are a lot like to follow each other and i we find that you know the kids are a lot more engaged in like the food as opposed to when they're at home by themselves watching tv in front of a tv that makes a lot of sense it does yeah but i'm still calling bullshit it's bullshit there's no way my kids eating chicken and rice and all these vegetables just because the other kids are doing it and the good thing about it is that we look at it we go okay ate all so okay i had a good nutritious meal today what's for dinner

toast if we get like oh like they didn't they ate some of or they grazed at it or whatever which is really the case like fuck i gotta cook them something tonight we started off with like jam on toast i actually got here and there was a piece of jam toast on the back. I considered eating it. Yeah, I was going to offer it to you. How desperate I am for leftovers. But now she's just gone, like that's Lola's. Lola's jam on toast.

Marley's just like a thick layer of butter on the toast. Nothing else. Buttery goodness. Yeah. It's not bad. She's really lining those arteries. Are you on full butter or mud margarine yeah i'm on the full butter we're on the nut lex okay look there's a reason why when

oscar was breastfeeding april couldn't eat dairy because obviously through the breast milk yes he would be very uncomfortable so we had to get rid of all the dairy in the house and just never went back on that one thing is he lactose intolerant no no he's fine now he's fine you've just stayed on the nut lex yeah i don't know we just never went back we have milk regular milk in the house no one really drinks except for macy like oscar have a bit here and there but like with the nut legs we just never went back i don't know it was kind of like we're so loyal they don't sponsor the show maybe they will yet just straight nut legs next fake a buttery goodness but you look at the nutritional value on it and it's no better than butter does it have like a health star rating what's the i can't

remember it can't be high it must be can't be hard one no no i reckon it's probably i'll give benefit of the doubt give it two and a half do you know what surprised me about honey star rating what do you think it is it's low yeah yeah yeah it's just pure sugar yeah but it's natural sugar allegedly like how many bees are fucking together how they do it they fucking get honey or not i don't know they pollinate they rub their hands together and they get honey i don't know how it works i don't think honey is the byproduct of bees having sex but it thought it was like bee jizz. Well, they call the conversation with the kid the birds and the bees, so there's got to be some sort of truth behind what I'm saying.

Look, sex is pretty sweet. Anyways, sorry, we went real off on honey there. But yeah, look, when I go for a run, I squirt a bit of honey in my mouth and go for a run. So it's kind of like giving me, yeah, just like a little bit of energy kick. A bit of bee semen and you're good to go. A bit of bee semen and I can run all day. Question for you.

Shoot. Ashton, question for you. Use my full name. Okay, mum. This is getting serious. Okay. How many times do you think I was at the hospital, the emergency room over the weekend?

Once is more than enough. You were there more than once. More than once once i noticed that your kids aren't here there's no sign of children what happened i was there twice twice in one weekend so in a 48 hour two separate incidents two separate hospitals no same hospital two separate kids the weekend just gone was probably one of the hardest that we've had. Just as a parent in general. Yeah, it was just, you know, sometimes you're winning, sometimes you're losing, you know, sometimes you're swimming up the stream,

sometimes it's downstream. Yeah, mainly upstream though. This was all upstream. Upstream into the rapids. So Friday, Friday morning, Marley did a wee, and as she was doing a wee, she was like, mainly upstream though this was all upstream upstream into the rapids so friday friday morning marley did a wee and as she was doing a wee she was like oh to laura she's like it really stings and i was like oh that's not good and laura said could be a uti and i was like uti like where's she been yeah she's four i know and sometimes i don't know so you know sometimes kids just when

they do something they're like oh that really hurt or like oh my stomach aches and you're like it's just a new feeling to them because they don't know like they don't know what's going on definitely gonna drop her at daycare and just like wait see what happens yep two hours later daycare calls me up and says hey marley's got a really big fever it's now like 39 you have to now pick her up because it's meant to be 37 right so you anything over that you're like but then 39 that's a decent jump so they said we'll give some panadol but then at this point you have to come collect which is devastating because if anyone who doesn't have

kids is listening you still pay the full fee oh 100 paying the full whack for a day of daycare even though she's been there for two hours you're paying someone else and you've got to do the parenting from here on out it's heartbreaking especially when you're looking at like the rest of the day child free i know i plan to do so much work doesn't matter that they're sick and they're in pain or anything like that barley's like help and i'm like i've got Yeah. Picked her up, got home, gave her some Damodol. Worked well. Some what? Some Damodol.

I thought you'd be on the good stuff. What's the good stuff? Isn't it just Panadol? Is that better? Is Damodol, am I? I don't know. It just sounds like something you'd get from the cheap. They were like, do you want the generic brand?

And you're like, yeah, give us that cheap shit. I thought Damodol was like the top shelf. Or maybe, I don't know. It could be. Who knows? Maybe. I'll get my wife on the cheap. They were like, do you want the generic brand? And you're like, yeah, give us that cheap shit. I thought Damodol was like the top. Or maybe, I don't know. It could be. Who knows? Maybe. I'll get my wife on the blow. She would know.

She'd know the exact millage. What's her weight? What does she weigh? She's taken five mil. Yeah, she's four. I know that much. I know that much. But the issue is,

you can only give it to them four times in 24 hours. And then... That's what the bottle says. That's... Yeah. Experiment a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what the bottle says that's yeah experiment a little bit it's fine yeah wake up on saturday morning temperature was peaking still at what height did it get to so in the afternoon on saturday we're sitting at 40 holy shit i know she's sick man yeah okay yeah and so at this point we're like we can't give it any more, damn it all.

What's your choice of thermometer? Rectal? Don't tell me it's rectal. Actually, do you know what we used to give, though, when they were newborns? Instead of giving them the liquid, we would give them suppositories up the bum. And hear me out. You know, it's so hard to give a newborn. Oh, it's like this yeah and to get them

to swallow it oh yeah because you gotta like you do the little blow on the face yeah yeah yeah so just hey suppository suppository is weird obviously because you're like putting a pill up the back is it like a special insert yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm learning so much today. It comes in like a little wrapper that you like peel off. So it's got like... This is fucking wild. Yeah. Someone said to me... You know how we said that this is not educational?

We lied. We fucking lied. We've roped you in. Now you're going to hear us preach about suppositories. I will tell anyone who listens suppositories until they're like one or one and a half. Wow. But now thermometer wise, it's just under the arm. Okay, yeah.

Ideal. So when Amalie's peaking and we're like, fuck, well, you know. She's peaking. I love that. Big night out. She's peaking. Yeah, on the caps. She's like, put Fred again on.

Is this Coachella? And you're like, do I go to hospital? It's the fucking worst too. Because they're like, she just won't go home. The biggest question is you don't want to rock up and then they look at you and go, I don't fucking really. We're here to save the lives of kids.

Just because you're a useless parent. Yeah. So you don't want to have that guilt. But the best advice that we got from a nurse was we would rather have you come and then just tell you that it's nothing. Don't worry nurse was we would rather have you come and then just tell you that it's nothing don't worry about it as opposed to you coming and them saying we wish you were here like yeah 100 like i think if anyone's listening and it's like the option to

take your kid to a hospital or not yeah take just go just go if you're unsure then the answer is yes 100 100 first don't hold me to that though just to be clear don't hold me to that but because she was at 40 which is very high we thought hey we'll give her one more little dose of damadol and then as we're driving to the hospital marley's like do do do do like hey dad put on some of like that disney song and just like where are we off to guys and she's kind of turned a corner how fucking dare she and the doll's kicking in yeah but you know i'm not going to ignore the fact that she's had a temperature for the last yeah yeah 24 hours laura and i like who has to go in who's going to drive home with lola and who's going to take marley and laura drew the short straw so she's going hospital. And Marley's just like running on the chairs.

Having a good old time. And Laura's like, she is so unwell. Like she's been so sick. And they look behind Laura and Marley's there just like running around, doing cartwheels in the hospital. End up seeing a UTI, give her some antibiotics, and she's fine. Okay, that's the first trip to the hospital. That's number one.

Pretty smooth. How long was she at the hospital for? It was a good five hours still a lot yeah so laura got home at like that's a long time 9 30 maybe nine o'clock because it's you know not life-threatening you go wait your turn yeah the next morning after spending all those saturday locked indoors wake up on sunday morning we thought it's a beautiful day. Go to the park. We'll like enjoy the outdoors. I hear this scream come from the living room. And Marley has these microphones here. It was in the desk.

I don't know if I put the mic there or maybe Laura put it. Did you play the blame game? It was you. It was me. And Marley has pulled the cord and these weigh like five kilos. I picked it up before. They're heavy. That's a dumbbell.

So she pulled it and just pulled it onto herself and it's come down and smashed her right on the tip of the toe. Run in there and I look at her foot and she's taken all the skin off her toes. Taken any nails off? Not yet. Not the nail. That's the thing with the nail it comes off down the track so it's like it hurts now and then the nail comes off down the track and

it hurts again life's relentless it's the worst it's the worst and i look down and it looks mangled and then you know if a kid looks at the cut and they see blood they start freaking out and my initial reaction was like why did you do that yeah and then at the same time that i'm and then she's just in agony so much pain i'm like get yourself to the hospital yeah there's your bag and then laura's like we'll have to go back to the hospital oh pack the bag luckily it was still pretty much had everything in it from when we got back from the hospital yeah she's in the wars this weekend hey so like we drive there literally they're like hey uti playing up again you're like no it's and i was positive it was going to be broken didn't break it but also being a sunday

footy's back yeah like the place laura said it was just heaving broken bones full of kids in like rugby jerseys and dislocated arms and broken legs. And it was like a war zone in there. Oh, I bet. That sucks. How long were you there for this time? Well, Laura. You just fucking sent her again.

I don't know. Hand on heart, I'm yet to do the hospital trip myself. Oh, it's brutal, man. I've only ever just the hospital trip myself oh it's brutal man i've only ever just dropped off yeah it's brutal like we've been not with macy other than when she's born obviously but oscar twice both via ambulance yeah holy shit not that the ambulance was required so the first time yes so first time he was about five months old he stopped breathing in the middle of the night and he had like silent reflux so he's i'm at one end of the house over the other end of the house the scream was very different i'm half cut i'm like six beers deep watching the footy

and we both ran up to the bedroom and like he was noticeably choking and I've whipped the light on, got him out and it's mentally scarred in my mind of this child, purple, eyes bulging out of his head. I didn't think I was going to tell this story today but I'm going to. And I'm like, holy shit. And April's on the phone at triple zero and I'm ripping him out of his sleep suit and they're like, don't hit him on the back. I'm like, too fucking late. Because they're worried that the adrenaline pumping through you, you're going to knock ripping him out of his sleep suit and they're like don't hit him on the back i'm like too fucking late because they're worried that the adrenaline pumping through you you're gonna knock the shit out of me yeah the ambulance was literally out the front in two minutes they

were going down the street and they've come up and he's sort of like still struggling a little bit to breathe but he was breathing and he was returning to color by the time we got him into the ambulance and i sitting on my lap you know ambulance lights are like they're so bright he was completely fine he was like this is sick like this is amazing and to the hospital i'm up there for six hours so what's happened is he's had some reflux in the middle of the night and it's hurt him so he's gone it's gone back down his windpipe and got stuck so was it pat on the back that kicked him into breathing again yeah essentially by the time i got to him and got him up and got him he was sort of i think getting him in an upright position was better than him laying down anyway so i i had to go to the hospital

spent like six hours in the hospital with him he was perfectly fine so that was one time holy shit at the time it was really traumatic i look back on it now and it's like four like i can't imagine how many people go through a similar thing yeah but also like fuck just to hug him afterwards knowing that he's fine like that yeah yeah it was huge and the second time was he had this cough and anyone who is listening to their kids had croup it's a very unique cough we didn't know like i didn't we've never had that problem before and do you want to give us a little taste of what that's like a seal yeah it's got a seal in the other room and like it progressively got worse and worse and then like i was like it's like 11 o'clock at night and i remember i walked in there and he couldn't breathe because what it does it swells the airway that's what i say like a steaming hot

shower can like open up your sinuses open up your airway but yeah he physically was like struggling to breathe in and i was freaked out on the phone of the ambulance as you would be they were there in like four or five minutes two ambulances the whole building's lit up like you got you got the double got the double and look it was again. Why would they send two? Just like two's better than one? Or was one like, did one have more? I think, I don't know. Advanced equipment for a child maybe?

But I think they wanted to get the first one there to figure out what's going on. And once they got there and realized that this is crew, this is what happens. Because it's like, you could fucking die. Yeah. Like it closed his airway to a point where he was like, and I was like, holy shit. So here's the thing, right? We get out to the ambulance, and he's sort of come to a little bit, seen all the flashy lights, and that's amazing.

They give him a steroid injection, essentially. That's how they get it, because you can't take medication or anything. Like, it just doesn't work. You had to wait, like, four hours for him to, you know, so I'm going to entertain this kid in the middle of the night i was in the hospital throughout 4 a.m so for the week after he was like just crazy like crazy and i ran into friends of ours who their kids have suffered from croup a lot and they're like did you get the steroid stuff i'm like yeah it's like yeah is he crazy he's just roid raging for two weeks he's roid raging through the house. And I was like, fuck, what the hell is wrong with this dude?

Start shaving at the age of three. He's like Stewie Griffin when he starts lifting. Boy, get us a bit of milk, would you, mate? That's pretty much what he was like. But he was mental for like two weeks. Get him on the footy field. I know, get him out of there straight. I've got one of those big chins already.

But yeah, he's had it since, but we've like been able to like manage it because we know what to expect. So there would be heaps of parents now listening, being like, fuck, my kid's never had croup. I wonder what that's like. That is like the scariest part of, like you hear these horror stories of like, hey, you know, child wasn't too bad. Put him down to sleep and then something happened.

And so when Marley had her fever, we put her into bed with us because we were just like, she's, you know, 39. If something happens, we'd rather her like be right next to us. And I sleep pretty heavily. Pin drops. What's that like? I'll sleep through anything. So the kids will have to cry for a while before I'm up.

But Laura, if anything happens, she's up. She's very much a mum instinct too. Well, apparently, I wonder if I should Google this. Google after. When women give birth, they release this. I'm already thinking that. They release a baby. That's what they do when they give birth.

They release, I was going to say a toxin, but that's... A toxin, yeah. Look, I think you should start this. They're actually half spider, half... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they release a chemical, which, let me... Oh, God. Hang on.

Okay, I can't find it. I can't find it. I've had a quick Google. But there is literally, I remember watching another documentary it must be true that when women give birth they release this chemical which means they do not enter the same level of deep sleep that they would get into pre-kids for how long forever forever so they're constantly on alert yeah anyway but yeah back to Marley's foot wasn't broken oh i didn't even think about that i just thought about the skin coming off yeah i know i know so nothing broke bruised bruised she got it

bandaged up but then the annoying thing is for the rest of the day she was like i can't because she's quite traumatized and she saw yeah she saw how cut it was she was like i can't walk and i was like no you you can you can walk just like put some weight on it yeah at this rate you're walking home and she wouldn't like wouldn't even stand on it the rest of the sunday on the couch to go to the bathroom because i was like i'm not going to carry you like you can walk she dragged herself like literally like she'd been shot like she'd yet like she no longer had any movement in her limbs dragged herself to the bathroom and i was like i'm not going to help you i know what you're doing i know yeah you're fine it's like oscar when he gets like the smallest boo-boos i can't do that and you're like do that yeah you're fine but also you're like did they miss it on the x-ray maybe it is broken yeah and she's just like and i'm like you will walk on it and she's got

like a bone sticking out she's like please listen to me dad monday dropped her at daycare and i was like look she's got one shoe on because she had an accident and a uti keep her away from the other kids yeah they were like god she's been in the wars but i was like she will walk she's fine but i picked her up on monday and i said did she walk on it no like she literally dragged herself around like we like we would help her she's the victim all day she still wasn't walking on it only now like days later i think laura had to bribe her with chocolate to make her stand like all good, we bribed our child with treats. Bribery is like the best parenting method. It's the benchmark.

Followed by threaten. It's the benchmark to how I parent. Yeah. And she's only now starting to walk on it. So we've come out. She's on the mend. We've come out the other end. Foot's not broken.

She's on the antibiotics. Beautiful. Top weekend, really. It's got to be like, that's what you're saying, it's like the worst weekend. Like, she has it like mentally trying to get through all that. Last week, we said that we were going to put it out there. People did have questions.

We were going to be in a position to answer them, not in a serious way, definitely not offering any serious advice here, but just if we can share any of our wisdom of being parents. I've been a dad now for almost four years. May have a peppering of advice that I can offer people, but we're going to have a quick look at some of the questions that people have submitted.

So we put the call out there. Lots of good questions. We only have time for three questions today, I believe. Ash, how are you for time? I'm good for three. I've gone through. These are the ones that I think are the best questions. We appreciate all the questions.

Always appreciate all the questions. There were a couple of crap ones in there. There was a couple of abusive ones. Yeah, yeah. Can you guys shut the fuck up? And I'm like, no. Question number one. Ash, how did you manage sleep in the first few months?

Did you follow a program? Good question. So two kids, one kid was a terrible sleeper. One was much better. The first kid, brutal. I found like managing it, you have to, I mean, there's always this thought in the back of your head when you have a kid that you need to get up when your wife gets up in the middle of the night as well. And it's like, you don't because then two of you are tired.

Someone needs to be rested. Yes. You can do the stuff during the day or whatever so she can rest. Also some solid advice from me is if you do get up in the middle of the night with each other, don't say a fucking word. If she asks you to get water, don't even say yes. Just go and get it because it's an instant argument.

That was one thing someone said to me and they were like, just don't talk. There is nothing more testing in those periods where you're both so sleep deprived and it doesn't matter who said what or in what tone, you're just going to have arguments. There's going to be an argument, yeah. It's just going to happen. It doesn't matter how much what or in what tone, you're just going to have arguments. There's going to be an argument, yeah. It's just going to happen.

It doesn't matter how much you love each other. Yeah. And it doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. At that time of night, no one's right, no one's wrong. It's just like... Surviving. Yeah, so like, yeah, I always say to my friends that are having kids, I'm like, just don't say anything.

You know, you could be so in love and you could be the two nicest people on earth but at that time of night one slight tone change can do anything so it's just not it's not worth it so why wasn't oscar a good sleeper he was just always like a cranky baby silent reflux just like his father i am a cranky baby i'm so cranky all the time. That's right. Now I'm cranky. But, yeah, he was, like, just uncomfortable. He slept 40 minutes around the clock for the first, like, six months.

It was brutal. And then Macy? Macy was a dream. So I think we learned a lot, as you do. You learn a lot from the first one. But she was noticeably better is better in all like he still wakes up we had it the other way around where marley dream child yeah she breastfed well she slept well laura and i would look at each other and be like are we amazing at this

what are parents complaining about like this is the breed like we you're gonna trigger some people with just saying i know i look back and i'm, you were so naive and had literally no idea. You just, you get lucky and you get a good child. I always say you get a sleeper or you don't. Yes. Because then Lola was the same as Oscar in that. Like, I think I look back and I've kind of erased it from my memory. Like, it's funny how all of those terrible times like the lowest of the low you just put there yeah

you bury it into a deep dark section of your brain where you never revisit it until laura will say hey do you remember that time when this happened and i'm like oh yeah that sucks you always forget about the bad parts otherwise you'd never have another kid yeah but lola would only sleep on laura's chest and would only see maybe like 40 minutes, same as Oscar, at a time. I remember there were times when I was just like holding Lola at like three in the morning. She'd been fed, she'd been burped, and she was just screaming. Screaming her head off. Just screaming.

You're just existing. You're just in a place of such like frustration and... Yeah, it's not your real you. I talk about this with my therapists a lot. Yeah. It's not your real you i talk about this with my therapists a lot yeah it's not the real you right it's more like the situation and the days and days of lack of they used to use it as torture right keep people away so i get it i get it and like those feelings they're not abnormal but the good thing is it gets better. It does. Allegedly. It does get better. And like, yeah, look, the program thing we did get into.

Oh, that's another thing too. Go on. And every parent does this. So your kid has a good night's sleep. So what you do the next day is you try and mimic exactly what you did leading up to that good sleep. Everybody does that. And I just thought it's worth noting that it doesn't work.

I didn't pay any attention to actual like sleep program and such like we kind of we paid someone to come in what do they teach you look it's more of the support i would say they sort of give you a rough idea of what to look out for what to be doing when to do it what do you look out for just like tired signs early that sort of stuff because you want to get like rubbing the eyes yeah you want to get onto their routine before they're overtired and you don't want to start the routine when they're already tired and by the time you finish it they're overtired you don't want to do that but also like i feel like and i have this conversation with a lot of people about i'm not a sleep expert um just put that in there that they try to put

their kids into a routine too early they're like, and look, it's crazy because the world has like, and like social media has sort of made a lot of people think that, okay, well, what am I doing wrong? Because I can't get my kid into a routine. It's like your kid's three months, chill out. Yeah. Just go with the flow. I think that's the difference between Oscar and Macy's

where we went more with the flow with Macy, where it's like if she falls asleep on me right now at three months, who gives a shit? But with the first one, because you're like, there's so much pressure on a new mom, which sucks, and new parents in general, that you've got to be getting into a routine so quickly. Like, my kids are, what, four and nearly two. Macy's got a slight routine. Oscar was really routine from two onwards. And finally finally he sleeps now so it worked but early on it was pretty much pointless because you're like oh we've got this

routine and then they regress because then if if you try and adhere to that routine you will never leave the house no and there was a time that we didn't where it was like oh fuck like we got we can't leave the house because we've got to do an hour of this routine. And that's when it spirals. That spirals, yeah. That's when it gets hard. The worst is when you go, you do so many weeks, and it's like starting to pay off. You're like, great. And then they regress.

Oh, yeah. They hit the worst word in the English dictionary, which is a leap. They hit a leap. I sense shivers down my spine. So glad I don't really have to hear that word anymore. Question number two ash thoughts on placenta encapsulation would you take the capsules yourself what the fuck does any of that mean i'm glad you asked i've googled this i've googled i literally don't know what any of those words were that you just gave to me. Placenta encapsulation.

Do you want me to guess what I think it means? Go on. Yeah, have a try. Something to do with trapping the placenta. Yeah, well, pretty much. Pretty much. But when you say trap, it means like you're like setting a bear trap at nighttime. It comes out.

And then you come back the next day and you're like, see what we've got, boys. And you're like, oh, we've got, this is a good size. It's a good size placenta, this one. It's kind of like. Get a photo with it. It's funny that like every time, you know, you're talking with your other parent friends, there's always someone who's got a story about something to do with a placenta.

There's always someone out there who's a little bit. I know, I saw like someone bake bread with it. Yeah, because you can dry it out and, well, this is kind of what this is. So hang on, let me read you the description. Okay. In the placenta encapsulation process, the placenta is steamed, dehydrated, ground into a powder,

and then sealed in vitamin-sized capsules. What? Why? There are companies out there that will do it for you. And if you work with your doula, she might offer that service as well. And if you're wondering why, it says here, keyword is possible. Possible.

Possible. The possible benefits of placenta encapsulation include a decrease in postpartum mood disorders. Good thing. Possible. Increased production of oxytocin. Possibility. A decrease in stress hormones. Another possibility.

And restoration of iron levels following bleeding after birth and an increase of milk supply all from it's like a miracle i'm pretty sure there's a multivitamin out there that does all of that surely but it's not made out of a human organ is it an organ i don't even know yeah i'd say it's helped create life of course i mean if you're just taking a capsule but even the thought of it i love say it's... Helped create life, of course. I mean, if you're just taking a capsule, but even... The thought of it. I love how it said there, if you can't do it yourself... There's organisations out there.

Who on earth is doing that themselves? How many ways do you need to cook that thing? Yeah, imagine... You dried it, you steamed it, you grilled it, you air fried it. Marinated it. Yeah, marinated it. It's delicious. Grounded it into a fine powder.

There'd be nothing left. It'd just be like eating a capsule full of sand. But I always think, I try to take fish capsules, like fish oil, and I'll take it and then... The burpy fish after. Oh, like you burp and you can taste the fish oil. I love how they also on that fish oil thing, they're like, yeah, no, like it's got no aftertaste. Bullshit. It absolutely does.

Imagine the aftertaste of placenta. I don't know what the foretaste of placenta would be. And for no guarantee of the benefits, it's just like, hey. It's just possibly. It might help or it may not do anything at all. All right. So the question was, would I take it? Oh, yeah.

Why would I need to take it? I'm going to take a guess. Well, like your wife or your partner is going through it, then I guess it may be nice to also join her along that journey. Look, if April was like, this is what I'm going to do, I'd be like, you can do that. I'll support you in what you do. One, you're not doing it in the house.

Don't bring that thing back here. Two, it's not for me. So can I take a guess and say that during childbirth, did they ask you the question of like, do you want to, like they have this thing in a tub and like, do you want to keep it? Do you remember that? Nah, nah. Like first one was ended up being an emergency C-section.

So there was no like discussion of, no. What about number two today? It was a planned C-section. There was no discussion of that either. Oh, mate. So I've missed out on two placentas they're missing if anyone sees two placentas they're my wife's she definitely doesn't want them i i think i'm trying to like cast my memory back to childbirth and i'm pretty sure it's and there's so much going on did you faint no? No, no fainting. I did. We'll save that for another story.

This thing's big. Like it's a big, like hunky, like meaty. It's not just like a little dainty thing. Yeah, well, people like eat it, right? Yeah, and it looks fucking awful. And they say like, do you want to keep it? What do you want us to do with this? How do you want it cooked, sir?

We've got an air fryer over here, a steamer over here. We've got a smoker on this side or we could grill it medium rare please peppercorn sauce sure so we went to mushroom sauce but if laura wanted to do it i'd be like go knock yourself out but i'm not jumping on don't kiss me afterwards placenta encapsulation not for me not for me if the fact is it's like i always think with these things how did we get there how did the person who came up with this get there well i guess maybe it's because animals in the wild would eat the placenta yeah but i get that but i mean how do who was thinking let's go through all these processes to get it to a fine capsule what was that person thinking were they like what were they hoping to achieve i just don't

know how we got there it does like it kind of appeals to me a little bit in the primal aspect like surely in the animals in the wild but i think animals in the wild eat the placenta to like because you don't want to have anything that's going to attract animals in the world just kill each other for for food matt i'm not basing my me eating a placenta off what a cow does in the wild. Just because of the primal aspect of it. It's a no from me. It's a no from me. It's a no from me. We did have a third question.

I've looked at the time, Ash. We'll make it a quick one. Yeah, just make it a really quick one. Bang it out anyway. Okay. What is the most asshole thing your child has said and done to you or to someone else? Nothing for me comes to mind. I do have a funny story about a friend.

So as we all know, as our kids get a little bit older, two, three, getting him into bigger car seats, it becomes a struggle. So a friend of mine was at the park trying to leave the park, trying to put his kid into the car seat, and she was obviously not obliging. So she started to scream, help. Just let that sink in. So we've got a fully grown man trying to abduct a three-year-old child.

Wrangler child. And she's screaming. Help! Did people come over? No, no. He was like, he got really lucky that the people at the park also saw them. Like, yeah, it was definitely. But he was saying to me, it's happened more than once.

That little arsehole. That's an arsehole mood. That's toxic. He knows what it's doing. I know. It's crazy. Imagine the embarrassment of that, of people thinking, you're abducting this child.

And also you have to go through and get photos. If someone goes, are you abducting that child, to then try and convince them that you are. The last thing i want to do is steal my own child okay if someone else see you mate take him with you thankfully it hasn't happened to me yet no what about you for me i your kids aren't assholes i rate well sometimes they have their moments and i'm i'm a bit of a sensitive soul ash i picked up on that. I nearly cried before when I was talking to you about my hospital trip. Was it the tears when you told me about your story?

I reckon the most arsehole thing my kids have done is probably when just like Marley would look at me and be like, I don't love you anymore. Oh, that's brutal, isn't it? I don't want to play with you. Yeah, you're not my best friend. Oh. Dagger.

Absolute dagger. And sometimes, you know, I take offense to that and i'm like you can't say that i thought you just got her yeah you can't say that to me especially in public so that that hurts or sometimes if i really try and do something nice like i'm gonna go to kmart and maybe i'll give her a little treat and she's just like doesn't give me anything in return in return she's like i like i bought her a jumper once and she was like I hate this jumper and it was meant to be like this really sweet daddy daughter moment where I was like she's gonna love this and like it's a cute little pink jumper and she's just like spitting on it when you go and buy them something they need and then they try and swap it out for something they want on the way out yeah it's like I want this instead it It's like a toy.

It's a loveless game we play. Can be, yes. I'm sure that every parent at some stage, their kid's going, I don't love you anymore. I will fucking kick you out of this house right now. This is my world. You're just living in it. Ash Wicks. Yes, Matthew.

That is time. We have time. It's time. It's time. To wrap this up, thank you for joining us on episode two. Yes, thank you guys again. If you have listened and you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it more than anything, more than the children.

That we own. That we own. We would love it if you subscribed and if you gave us a review, a few words, if you will, and maybe five stars. Yeah, and check out our Instagram as well. Thanks again. We will at some point. We're not sure when.

Maybe not next week. Maybe not next week. Maybe not the week after that. But we will do an interview with other parents. Yeah, we want to try and get some other dads on. Maybe even mums. Even mums. I just sort of threw that out there because we had two dads. I would honestly hate to be a woman sitting in this room.

What happens when the microphones are off? The farting. Oh, my God. Oh, I got backed up right now. I've got that growling in my stomach. Anyway, but yeah, we definitely want to try and get some other parents on.

But if there's any parents you want to have us interview, we are absolutely open to any thoughts. If you know them personally, it's probably best. That would be really helpful. But until then. Thank you very much. We'll see you next week.

Yeah. Bye. then thank you very much we'll see you next week yeah two doting dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout australia and the connections to land sea and community we pay our respects to the elders past and present and extend that respect to all aboriginal and torres strait islander peoples today this episode was recorded on gadigal land