Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash - Three Doting Dads feat. Aaron Finch

Episode Date: July 16, 2023

It's our second guest-dad on the pod and we've somehow managed to lock in the legend that's Aaron Finch. Finchy is a former Australian international cricketer who captained the Australian ODI and T20I cricket teams. We chat about when he knew it was the right time to start a family, his first parenting freak-out, what it's like juggling a toddler and international sport, plane poonamis, where his gets his parenting advice from and how he made the decisions to retire from the game. Follow @twodotingdads on Instagram here. Or slide into our DM's with any Doting Dads or Mums you'd like us to interview.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to Three Doting Dads. I am Matty J. I'm Ash. And I'm Aaron Finch. This is a podcast that's all about parenting the good, the bad. And the relatable. And normally we always say that there's absolutely no advice to be given whatsoever. However, today might be different. We do have our second guest.

We have our second guest ever on Three Doting Dads, and we want to welcome ex-Australian One Day International and T20 Captain Aaron Finch. So thank you for... Thanks for having us, boys. I've never filmed a porno before. Neither. Let's get into it then. Coming in just before, I was like, I don't know. Because for those who are listening,

and we will have some socials up on Two Doting Dads, we're in a service department right now in Sydney. It's beautiful. It's a lovely apartment. Less stains than I thought there would be. But we came up to reception and I've got like a bag of these ring lights that are kind of sticking out of my duffel bag. And I didn't know if I should say to the receptionist,

like this is – I'm not here for long. Just a one-hour reservation. This isn't for OnlyFans, I swear swear i was like maybe i won't say anything and then i tried to go straight from the car park up we've we've got lost yeah so i should preface this chat and say that ash and i we don't know what we're doing you've pretty much stepped into a cessnut plane with two great perfect right that's exactly how we podcast and exactly how we parent, which somehow worked. But we nearly didn't make it because I input into the wrong,

like into the GPS, the wrong hotel. Can happen. And instead of going to North Sydney, we went to North Ride. And I got out first and I was like, just here to check in under Matthew Johnson. And then I was like, they need you. They need Matthew Johnson. And then I was like, they need you. They need your ID. And then he goes, comes back to me and he said,

I don't think we're in the right place. Have I booked the wrong thing? Have you brought us to the wrong place? And I was, screw the pooch. But we made it here. The fact that we're sitting here. We're here. And we've got-

It's a win. It's a miracle. It is a miracle. It's an absolute miracle. But Vinci, I want to start. Let's go back to when you were a youngster. Right. I feel like I'm going to say that I think you were someone

who was very well behaved and disciplined. Would that be correct? Well, I was the third of four children. So I was left to my own devices, really. I was parented by my brothers. By your siblings. Yeah, my two older brothers. Which is dangerous.

It is. One was very responsible, very intellectual, not into sport. My other brother, not as intellectual. I wonder if there's a correlation. Left school a little bit early. We won't say names. Left school a bit early. And yeah, I just played sport.

That was all I wanted to do. I hated school. I did have great parents. Sorry, I do have great parents. I did. They're still, school. I did have great parents. Sorry, I do have great parents. I did. They're still – growing up, my parents were fantastic. They gave us everything that we needed. There wasn't a huge amount of affection in our family,

but I think growing up in the country, when you're out playing sport and everything, what else do you need? Yeah, they're like, Aaron's all right. He's just getting on with it, you know, just hitting hundreds left, right, and center. Where, you know, this podcast is very much about, you know, how we dad and the silly shit that we do and we talk about. Do you see a lot of, with Essie as you referred to her,

who she's coming up to, she'll be two in September? Yep. Is that correct? So you're only a couple of months off my youngest, Macy. So there's a lot of similarities at that time. And I always look at Macy and some of the silly things she does. She's like, I always describe her as a drunk person looking for their car because every time she's walking around,

she kind of looks like you're in a car park looking to where she parked her car. Yeah, can't remember. Yeah, can't remember. And there's so many things I see her do, not the drunk bit, Matt, but there's so many things that I see her do. I'm like, fuck, that reminds me so much of me and my childhood. Is there so much that you see in Essie as you, do you think? She's a lot more like her mum, which is a good thing.

Every dad says that to you. It's like, oh. Yeah, like when you find out that you're pregnant, you go through the excited stage and then you think for a minute, you're like, oh, no. Are they going to be like me? She turns out like me. We're in some real trouble.

Please don't. She's quite an emotional little girl. She's beautiful beautiful she's very intelligent and she knows what she wants she's just starting to get into the tantrum stage where they're not too bad but if you offer her something that she doesn't want that's not good enough you should already know it should be telepathic i love how like at that age and matt's sort of over the little hurdle now where lol is over two and into the terrible twos and you're just about to hit it too. But they're at that age where Essie is and like Macy is, they're really like over exaggerate like a no.

They're like, if you give him something that I want, Macy's like, no, not that. We don't have the head shake yet. We get the no. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. It feels like Essie's in the room right now. I yet. We get the, no. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. It feels like Esther's in the room right now.

I know. It really goes good. Do you want to watch the Wiggles? No. You sure, Wiggles? Yeah. That means yes. We're on.

We're on here. And then you put it on and it'll come on to a song and you'll be like, no. You skip to the next one. No. I want for a bell up. And then you go back to the start and it's, oh, this is the best song I've ever heard in my life and everything everything's restored in the world again even that tiny level of communication is just so welcome when you've come from like two

years of just like what do you want when they're unhappy yeah you're kind of going through this list of like is it food do you want like a toy is there something behind me that i can't see so when you can get any direction verbally from the kids it's amazing yeah when especially when they like point and it's like there's a could be a number of objects in that area and they're like you're sitting there you're picking up different things and you're like this no picking up this no and then you pick up the right thing like yeah that's right but that caused a tantrum the fact that you didn't know what it was and i'm very relaxed i would say in my parenting style my wife's probably the opposite she's spent a lot more time with her i've traveled quite a bit alone while she's in the last two years so she knows what she wants a lot quicker than what i do but i've got a great ability to tune

out any screams or crying oh Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. Such an advantage. I think, not to stereotype here, but I think it's just- A dad thing? Yeah. I sleep through absolutely everything. And I say to Laura, my wife, I'm like, just wake me up because it doesn't-

Yeah. A pin drops and Laura's up, whereas there could be a tank smashing through the front door and I'd still be- See, I'm the opposite. I'm like, I'll wake up. It's like a tank smashing through the front door and i'd still be see i'm the opposite i'm like i'll wake up like it's like a like radar from mash coming april's the same but like you know how you always make fun of me because i go to bed at like 7 30 that's why because i'm not like you he'll freight train your way through it oh mate i'll sleep with the best of them sorry i'll sleep like the best of them. Sorry, I sleep like the best of them. Sorry, like the best. But I always find that I wake up on the kids' floor

without knowing how I got there because I'll just be like, I hear it and it's just become this thing. It's funny though. I wake up in the spare bed after a few beers without knowing about it. Well, yeah, we don't have a spare bed, just the floor in the kids' room. Vinci, one question that we get a lot from people who are not yet with kids but thinking about having kids is when did you know that you were ready to start a family?

For you and your wife, how did that conversation come about and was it something that you were leading or was it from Amy? Very good question. I don't think we were ready even though – No one is though. No one is ready. And we also weren't convinced that we were going to have children. Like we were quite selfishly I think at times.

We were like, well, no, life's pretty good at the moment. Anything you want to do. And now you look back and you're like, you know what? It was really good. That's the best thing ever and I would never change it. But we were like like if it happens it happens if it doesn't like we're both okay with that life i guess being able to just drop anything and yeah go somewhere and do and do this and so much yeah but you take it for granted don't you

and then yeah but it wasn't until i found out new year's day so that would have been oh that's pretty cool 2000 well you think so right hey you're just getting home. So no, we're playing Big Bash at the time and we're in the bubble. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're in Queensland on the Gold Coast and you could only go to this area or in that area. You couldn't go anywhere else. So was your wife in the bubble with you? She was with us.

Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, so that was cool. And a couple of days in we were bickering quite a bit and she was like, this is shit, I'm going home. Not knowing that she's pregnant at the time. And then I think it was New Year's Day or New Year's Eve, I think New Year's Day, I got a phone call and she goes, oh, have you checked your messages?

I'm like, no. Put the phone on loud and have a look. And then we're like, right, well, that explains a lot. Like your emotions were up and down, not knowing what was happening. But it was so cool. Up until then, were you trying or were you kind of just – If it happens, it happens. Yeah, if it happens, it happens.

No, we weren't actively trying. We weren't practicing. We weren't practicing, but we weren't careful or anything like that. So that's the greatest thing ever when you find out the first time. And then obviously it's so nerve-wracking the steps you take, like with all the tests and scans and stuff. And you're just praying and fingers crossed that everything's okay. And I was away for a few of them.

So you're doing them almost secondhand, like Amy's passing on information that they've told her. Yeah, it's quite tough at times, isn't it? Everything's going well and then you're like, right, scan, shit. What do we do? You shit yourself a little bit when you go, okay, well, there's these big scans and these big tests that they do and there's that time between, you know, you find out and when a little bit safer through the journey. Yeah.

And there was so many, there is so many times we're like, shit. And I suppose it leads us into the dynamic with you because, I mean, both of us, we don't travel the world to play or work. Yeah, I think cricket would be a sport where you guys, of all athletes, would travel the most. Yeah, I reckon. Like, how many months are you guys away at ballpark? Maybe 10 months.

Wow. It's crazy. And that's what we're talking about on the way here because, I mean, you're about to do a stint in July with San Francisco in the Major League Cricket. Yep. And he was like, what? Like, it's so crazy how much you guys actually travel.

And I know that I had to be there for all these tests, had to be there for all of the lead up, the build up, the nine-month build up. And then, of course, like when it's going to happen. And for you guys, like you're away for 10 months. Okay, well, the due date is hereabouts. And if they come early or come late, either you're going to miss some of your career or you're going to miss, well, the due date is hereabouts. And if they come early or come late,

either you're going to miss some of your career or you're going to miss the birth of your child. Yeah, it's quite difficult. And during COVID especially was even more challenging because in the past, guys were booked in for a Caesar or were induced on this date. So I can leave the tour here, come home, and then rejoin if everything goes well. But then with two-week quarantine, you're like, no, no,

everything has to be planned out. So I was really lucky in being able to be home for it. But then a month later, I was in, maybe three weeks later, we had the World Cup in Abu Dhabi in Dubai. So then pack your bags. Congratulations on the win on that one, by the way. But you pack your bags and you're off again. Yeah, exactly right.

And then Amy's at home like, I've got a new baby. I don't know what to do. So after that point that everything is okay, you've got to pack your bags and go and win a World Cup for us. Thank you. What is it like for her? What's the support network there? Well, her mum lived really close, so that was handy.

So she would always be over at our place or staying over when I was away and even when I was there because I'm not an overly emotional person at all. But within the first four days, I'd had two meltdowns. Wow. So one in the hospital. A couple of mentee bees from our event. It was unbelievable. What happened in the hospital?

First night, get back up to the birthing room and they just, there's your baby. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck. And then the nurse said, oh, we'll be back in 10 minutes. And Esther's screaming and we're like, no one's coming for like an hour. So overwhelming. Because there was an emergency there.

But we're like, geez, we don't know what to do. So that was like a little bit of an eye opener. And then the first night that we got her home, she just wouldn't stop crying. And we were bottle feeding. So the formula to calculate how much you need to feed was like an older nurse gave it to us and that was off a scale from 1986 or something. So she was just hungry. Yeah, when kids were just like malnourished.

Yeah. Well, I certainly wasn't. I was 86. Yeah, that was difficult, no doubt, to pack up and go. But Amy, her mum has been amazing for us. And then when we decided to move down to Geelong, so we're in Essendon. We moved down to Geelong, which is an hour away, her mum being a bit further away, and my parents being another hour on.

That's had its challenges as well, just with traveling a bit. Do you have to manage those conversations then? Because I guess you know what your schedule is going to look like, so do you have to say, hey, I'm going to be gone for this block and this block this block because you don't want to surprise your partner with like oh did i did i not mention that i've got the world cup coming up yeah you do but there's always things that do come up and that's when it's like a difficult conversation because when you're away for so much i feel really bad about leaving again especially if it's on short notice

because that's quite unfair at times because it's all for me. You can justify it however you want at times and you say, well, I'm doing this to set our family up and stuff like that, but then reality is she's with a baby by herself for five weeks. I was just in India commentating for five and a half weeks and that was the most difficult that it's been because Esther's on FaceTime and then she realises that... She's recognising you and stuff too. Yeah, you're not coming home,

so then she doesn't want to talk to you on FaceTime and she's emotional, she's getting teeth and she's sick. Yeah, it's difficult and my wife is amazing, but when you're away, you sort of take it for granted a bit too. Yeah, for sure. Can't imagine that you're saying to Amy like, all right, babe, so I'm just about to go to India and then after India I'm off to the States and do like.

They're coming to the States, which would be cool. Oh, that would be cool. Yeah. Funny story, right? When I was playing in the IPL, they came to India. They had to do three days quarantine to get into the IPL bubble and then we were confined to the hotel. So it was all pretty good.

Esther was, I think, seven months. So she's just crawling around and people in India love kids so everyone wants to hold her and stuff. Anyway, on the flight back, they got to Singapore. I said, oh, how was the flight? She goes, yeah, the flight was okay. Esther slept. But then she sent me a photo as they landed

and she had a tight turnaround as she landed. Little did we know at the time she had salmonella. Esther had salmonella and they both got COVID. It was almost like as the plane touched down, Esther has shit everywhere, all over. All up her. And it's all up her. But then she's still got to get the carrier on to carry Amy

so she can take the bags and then try and rush to the lounge, have a shower. Oh, my God. And she's like, I don't know what to do. Has she got this poo-filled baby strapped to her? Yeah, she had no option. Yeah. No other option.

So they're the times when you're like. Welcome to parenthood. Yeah. Imagine poor Amy walking through the airport, Singapore airport, with a baby covered in shit strapped to her chest, trying to find the nearest shower. Yeah. Where's that in the baby manual?

It's not. It's not. But we didn't know that she was sick really at the time. Just hits them, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. That stuff doesn't bother me one bit, to be honest, like nappies and shit and stuff.

Yeah. So, like, that was, like, something I wanted to ask you too because for you, like, you get home, say you've been a long stint you get home does amy just go here she is and hand her over you're up now mate um the next 10 shits are on you no not really no it's it's more i don't want to do anything while i'm at home because I think that's then really unfair on Amy as well because she's done it all by herself for a while. So then I come home and I'm like, well, I haven't seen the boys for a while. I'm just going to go to the pub or just going to go play golf. Sounds like Matt.

I don't even bother with that stuff anymore. If Esther's at daycare or something, they're our days to either be just together or be able to do something. So it has its challenges but it's also great when you hear a baby shitting himself everywhere and you'll know where to be seen you have to smell it how do you find having a baby's impacted you as an athlete because i know you're not an athlete matt you do a run here and there you're not an athlete just ignore ash for a second you know I think about when I'm working

and if you have a bad night's sleep and you crap the next day, then I think for an elite athlete, having a child could be such a handicap. It's almost like if you've got a kid, you should start with like six runs on the board. If you've got two kids, start with 12 runs on the board. But did you find it had- Just Davey Warner would have a 50. I know.

How many kids that guy got? He's got three girls though. If you've got three girls, you should start on 50. Guys, give him a leg up, would you? I don't think Virat would really like that. Did you find that it had any impact on how you were as an athlete? No. I was lucky and unlucky, I guess.

I had surgery on my knee just before Esther was born. So then I was doing rehab and stuff like that, but we're living in Melbourne, so I didn't have to travel far to do that. And then since we've moved to Geelong, which was against Amy's wishes a little bit, I was actually in, I was in Pakistan and got a call and she said, I found a place in Geelong. I was like, what? Wow. It's a really nice place.

Yeah. And we bought it while I was on, what? Wow. It worked. It's a really nice place. Yeah. And we bought it while I was on a flight from Karachi to Dubai. Crazy, isn't it? Yeah. But when you move away from your family, and especially our mum, who she's very close with her mum, so that was difficult because then you lose your immediate support network and you've got to rebuild that.

And when I'm away so much, it's difficult on her, no doubt. And I've always not drifted but you just someone tells you where to be someone books your flight someone does all that stuff so if anything happens for this trip for the us we're all going over together because originally i was going to fly over play and then amy and esther would come and meet me and we'd holiday and and then do a little bit of europe and And Amy said, there is no fucking chance I'm traveling 15 hours by myself with a toddler. So this is a toddler stage now.

Yeah, you're getting into it. Her track record of flights isn't too flat. She wants to run around and get into stuff. You can't stop them too when they get like, is she walking? She runs around. She runs the house, yeah. With like full arms still or she doesn't know what to do with her arms yet? If you say fly, she puts them behind herself.

She's done, ready to go. Yeah, and like you're getting at an age with her on the plane where they're just up and down there. Yeah. Up and down because you can't stop them. When they were like a little bit younger and they were sitting up and they were kind of crawling on things, you could sort of manage them on the seat.

But like Matt and I both know that you get a kid on a plane now and they're like, first thing you're like, look out the window, it's amazing because that's fucking amazing if you're that small. But they're like, bored of that, I'm just going to run up and down this hallway and annoy everyone I possibly can. And you find yourself saying like, okay, daddy wants you to stop doing that now. So I couldn't give a shit what you want, dad. Exactly right.

So the tickets came through and we said from the start, Amy and my flight were covered, but we'll pay for a separate ticket for Esther so she's got her own seat. So anyway, the tickets come through and there's two seats and they've booked Esther. Like she's under two, so I understand. We said, look, really sorry, but can we book her a seat? Because 15 hours, that's a long time for an almost two-year-old on your lap. They said, yep, no worries.

And Amy's stressing like, they still haven't sent through the updated itinerary. I'm like, it's all right. It'll come through. These are people's jobs. But she's such a planner. And I'm just so carefree in that regard because I know that it'll happen. I've been in situations before where I'm driving to the airport. I still don't have a ticket.

They haven't sent it through. But I know that if they want me to be there. Yeah, you're on there. I'll be on the flight. You're on the manifest. Yeah. So it's just things like that that I'm grateful for. Yeah.

I thought when you were playing overseas, like obviously you're staying in hotel rooms. At home, if the baby is crying, you can have some distance and you can make sure that you still get a good night's sleep. How do you manage that whilst you're playing abroad, staying in a hotel? Esther's always been pretty good she'll grizzle except last night last night getting out of bed was shocking and then once she's in bed she's fine teeth coming through a bit of a cough and they they care about diarrhea

too with the teeth yeah it all goes south oh yeah she's always been pretty good in that regard we've been really lucky because you hear of some people we're with a friend the other day and the kid wakes up every hour yeah yeah that was like we've both been through that nightmare yeah so that's why i look so old you're really 22 yeah this is my first beer so we've been lucky like that there's only been well that i've been home a handful of nights where often she'll wake up in the middle of the night and Amy will end up sleeping on the floor. Oh, yeah, spend a lot of time on the floor. And she'll just look around, see that she's there and everything's good. But if you're not, she's like, where's mum?

And she must be just starting to dream at the moment. The other night she woke up and Amy's like, right, she's not going to go back to sleep at the moment. So she brought her out. This is like 10 to 10. You would have been three hours into your sleep already. Deep in there, mate. Deep in there.

Amy's holding her. She's still in her sleep suit. And she just sits there. My nephew's name's Miller. And the week before, we'd been to watch him play footy, like under 12 footy. She's like, yeah, footy? Just picking up something.

Jay Carr. Jay's my brother. Yeah. Jay Drive Carr. Miller footy. And then she starts reeling off everyone at daycare shari's her teacher like goodwill hunting yeah shari's her teacher so she's like shari's crazy yeah mac dakota and she just starts reeling off everyone and then goes through her family

one minute later she's asleep again so it's like so obviously her brain is just going so hard that she's she's woken up and gone, oh, I just need to tell somebody everything that I know at the moment. All the words I know, yeah. And then back to sleep. Ticket off the list and like. Our daughter is similar age. It's all just obviously no sentences.

It's just like one word, maybe one or two words combined if you can really encourage them. But because now this is with my second, I've re-adopted the internal monologue of calling myself daddy and we made a bit of a joke about this that i always refer to myself as daddy even when the kids aren't there yeah and it got me thinking about like when i go to work and do work things and i still refer to myself as daddy and awkward and very awkward but i also wanted to ask you if you ever played a cut shot and thought daddy just played a cut shot no i can't say i have it do you know what the next

cut shot you make you'd be like daddy did good on that cut shot oh there's times when you hit one you're like jesus i am good i just refer to myself so much as a daddy. Daddy's thirsty just because I talk to them like that. Yeah. I think for mums, especially who do quite a lot of it by themselves, like adult conversations must just be the only thing that they're craving. Sleep, sleep obviously. And conversations with another adult that is not just mind-numbing.

Yes, darling, yes. No, don't touch that. When you look up until now, the time you've had with Esther, is there a moment where you thought, this is so much harder than I ever imagined? All the time. My wife and I talk about it all the time. It's like just how much you actually have to, I guess, occupy them.

It's never-ending. And when they can move around, it's all right when they're just laying there or just crawling, but once they're on the move, you literally can't go to the toilet without them following you. Yeah. Well, you put them down and they're not happy, so they just follow you and they grab you. And Amy's like, I just didn't get anything done.

And I had on Monday, so today is Wednesday, so on Monday Amy had a few things to do. So I had Esther and my nephew and niece, but they're 12 and 10, so they helped look after her. They did majority of the parenting. They did a lot and Bounce did a lot as well. We went to Bounce and Esther's jumping around like an idiot. But I got home at the end of the day and Amy goes,

oh, did you do this and this? I said, I didn't have any time. She's like, no shit. She set you up there. She's like, how do you think I'd get through five weeks of this? I'm like, oh, look, I had a bit of time but I just decided to. Spend quality time with my daughter for sure. But when they go down for their nap, that's like your reals time.

Oh, you're bang on there, yeah. I've become a napper. I just nap now. Oh, see, I can't. I can't nap either. No, if I nap, then I'm up till midnight, guaranteed. I've taught myself. But that's my time to like do mind-numbing things that are just like.

Decompress. Yeah, just watch reels and watch TikTok. And then you hear them stir and when they wake up from your nap, you're like, I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet. I actually wanted to get a nap in. Yeah. But I didn't.

Round of golf real quick. Who was someone who you turned to for advice? Were there any players like Warner, for example? Did you go to him and say, hey, like, how do you get through teething? How can you help me through this? Cricketers probably aren't the right people to ask that question because everyone's on the road so much. And guys travel with their families at different times.

Like at the moment during the Ashes, most of the families are over there, which is brilliant. But in COVID, no one could travel. So it was sort of like, hey, your kid's going. Good, I think. Good, yeah. I think they're okay. They're breathing.

Yeah, like just friends. That's all you can do. But everyone is so different everyone will have similar experiences but in such a different way and how people parent is totally different as well yeah so asking for advice sometimes can be the worst thing i think just hearing people like it's all right to ask for advice but a lot of times it will have no relevance on you yeah because people is always going to be different to what you're going through. So I was always a believer.

It's amazing when you travel a bit too, you get home and you're the issue because you've upset the routine. Yeah. Like, no, no, now it's bath time. And because you've been winding her up, she doesn't want to have a bath. Yeah, okay. All right, 7.30 is bedtime. That's so true.

I never thought about it like that. Yeah, because they've got their routine a bath. Yeah, okay. All right, 7.30 is bedtime. That's so true. I never thought about it like that. Yeah, because they've got their routine down pat. Yeah, yeah. All right, we do this at dinner at 5.30, bath at 6.30. They've disrupted their routine. Yeah, and I'm home and all of a sudden Esther's like, fun dad's home. Yeah, yeah. So in the early days, if she was ever crying, I'd be like, just let her cry it out.

Like, she'll be right. Yeah, fully. But Amy's the polar opposite. So she's like, no, no, we don't. We've got a routine how we do it and how we deal with it. But because you're not here five weeks now. Exactly right. So that makes it difficult.

And I think I'm not a planner, but I'm always early. My wife's so detailed with planning, but she'll be there like five seconds before she's meant to. And that does my head in. But my carefree, it'll be right like it'll get sorted yeah but we're going tomorrow should we book the flights it'll be right don't worry someone will get it done so we're polar opposites in that regard and then when it comes to parenting at times we've been polar opposite i'm like no we do do it this way no this is how we do it okay

that's how we do it so it's not even a anymore. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you didn't read too many birthing pregnancy baby books. Not one. Did you do the classes? No. Oh, you lucky man. Man up to my own heart. But they weren't happening because it was COVID.

Oh, they did them online. I had a mate like similar time. Oh, we did a CPR course, a baby CPR. Yeah, yeah. So you did the life-saving one, which is great. I can't control any of the other stuff. Yeah, how to do a fucking nappy. You figure it out.

I was the third kid. My sister was nine years younger than me. Wow. So you were changing her nappy. Yeah, so I sort of grew up. You already knew how to do it. From nine to sort of 15, that was a part of parenting her, I guess. Yeah, absolutely.

Like in terms of the physical stuff. It was amazing when Esther come and that was, what's that, 20 years later that you still remember, like straight away, nappy was no issue. I'd always remembered how to, now you've got the pull-up ones and it's so much easier. But like it never bothered me. Nappies and stuff have never bothered me because I grew up doing that

on my sister. So it's so fascinating how you just remember shit that you thought geez that's never going to be relevant again yeah it's a huge advantage having younger siblings i had two younger brothers yeah and i'm on a five so it was very like a single mom as well so it was very much the kids had to like pull their weight and i think that was like the best and i didn't get any classes either but that was like the best kind of taste of parenting that was like the beginning of the foundations for now so mum thanks for having five yeah fully i mean i don't know how you guys have got two honest like that was gonna be my next question because i said i mentioned it before a couple of doting dads i mentioned two before and your head went. No, no, no.

One and done. One and done? One and done. Is that your decision or is it your wife? Both. Mutual? Both, yeah. Like I don't understand.

Surely after one, you know how hard it is. Yeah, I get you. It's so hard. It's tough. Like teething. They don't tell you how hard it is and how long it goes. You do forget. No, but I do think once you've done it once,

I remember driving back from the hospital, Laura and I were like, holy shit. Driving 40Ks an hour. What do we do here? And then like, you know, you just don't know what you're doing at all. But then after one, you have that level of confidence, which is maybe. It's subconscious confidence though because you really forget. Like, I remember I was so adamant, like, no,

we did talk about having two before having any, like that was the ideal number. And then after the one, I was like, no, I'm not going through that again. I'm not going through the trauma of it all. Because you had to push out a baby. Yeah. That's fair. The trauma of it all for her.

But, yeah, like I was like, nah, the sleepless nights, like you know what it's like, the teething, the whole bit. You forget that though. You do. You do. You do. At a certain point you forget that and once we had the second one, like Matt's saying, there's so much subconscious confidence you pick up.

Yeah. And you've got the equipment now. You're so much subconscious confidence you pick up. Yeah. And you've got the equipment now. You're set up to cater to a child. Yeah, good call actually. There were so many things that I did with the first baby that I fumbled and bumbled my way through and I was like, I'm fucking shit at this and that's no joke. But then when the same instance happened with the second kid,

I was like, I got this, no fucking worries. Even though that was years ago and i never thought i learned anything from it yeah you just subconsciously the confidence comes back and how you do that having two for us in the end now is a blessing because macy's my favorite oscar's probably listening you heard me right but take the rubbish out yeah get on your feet and take the rubbish out we're not at the bribery or reasoning stage yet. She doesn't quite understand that. Looking forward to that because my wife's got a very, very strong will.

So do I. That's no good. And my daughter is stubborn as well. Yeah. So there could be some Mexican standoff for a long time. It happens. No one's seen the Finches for a while. Amy and Esther are still standing on.

I'm not going anywhere. Exactly right. It happens. No one's seen the Finches for a while. Amy and Esther are still standing up. I'm not going anywhere. Exactly right. Do you think you'll be playing good cop then and Amy's the bad cop? Someone's got to be the good cop and know whether you like it or not. It doesn't bother me. My wife naturally, she likes structure and tidiness and she naturally leans that way. Whereas I'm-

You can bend it a bit. Yeah. It wouldn't bother me if I had to be. Yeah. And I probably should be more often for her mental state than anything else. Yeah. I'm the bad cop. Yeah.

Are you? Yeah. We just talked about this today. My wife just sneaks my kids chocolate and shit just to keep them on the good side. Yeah. I'm definitely the bad cop, 100%. Yeah. When it came to retirement, what was that conversation like with Amy?

It happened at the back of where we were sitting in Cairns. So we were playing in Cairns, three-game series against New Zealand. After the first game, I said to her, I'm just not feeling it. My drive and my passion isn't – my performance has been pretty ordinary and my body isn't my performance has been pretty ordinary and my body was wasn't great and then after the second game i got out and she was walking esther around in the pram in cans and i just said i'm done she goes all right wow was that quick yeah and what like what were her what were her reactions to that uh she wasn't surprised get back to work i'm still playing t20s and i'm still playing a little

bit domestically or a bit overseas and commentating so it was meant to be this year was meant to be a bit more of home time and less traveling spend more time with my family and i've i've been on the road more this year than ever before so transitioning into commentating and broadcasting you sort of got to take all the opportunities that you can. So that's made it a bit more difficult. When you're playing full-time, I think maybe like, you know, networks and stuff are probably thinking, he's playing full-time, that's his main career and now it's like, okay, well,

Aaron Finch is going to step away and retire from international cricket, he's still doing domestically, let's grab hold of him, you know, and sort of pull you in a couple of different directions instead of just like the one direction of playing. Well, I think the difference with our relationship compared to a lot of others, I guess, is that we met after I was already playing for Australia. When I was 27, maybe 26, 27, she's the same age.

So even our initial dating and stuff, like dated for a bit, then I went away for a few months i went to india and england so yeah she knew what she was getting into beforehand doesn't mean that i haven't made some selfish decisions over the time based on my career putting my career first and yeah but you don't think about it that way until you retire and you sit back and you go shit i did that did i need to yeah go and play there for a month when it could have been anyway but yeah i mean that's that's the thing at the time it was what was right for you yeah and yeah it being your whole career and the fact that you know you

guys met when you were really in the thick of it as you know playing international cricket and knew what what was to be expected it's kind of like she stuck around for that and now you've trapped it with a child. It's too late. I'll tell you the biggest mistake I made. Please. Yeah, we want to hear it. Biggest mistake I made was I met up a few times

and then I went to India. I was playing IPL and I invited her over. I said, we've got a 10-day stretch. We're in Hyderabad at the time. I was playing for Hyderabad. Would you like to come over? She goes, yeah, no worries. That'll be good. good and i was trying to impress her so i bought her a business class ticket lovely beautiful good gesture did it go down well went down great she has not sat in

economy since so it's cost me an absolute fortune oh no all because i got my dick out and tried to measure it. But that's quite funny. So we're big texters, Amy and I. So we'll message all day and then have quick calls. And then at night it'll be however long Esther can be entertained on the phone for. Yeah. That's how long our phone calls generally are. There's not a huge amount of we don't ring and-

I'm coming home, babe. I'm coming home. Yeah. Well, because I'm either away or i'm home fully nothing in between yeah yeah so we don't have that but we'll message all day then you get to the end of the day and you go how's your day yeah but it's also you know it's also your way of like keeping your relationship like as a relationship like you got that's the thing that you guys do to you know communicate all day and like i think a lot of people take the text for granted like april and i we barely text all day

but even though sometimes we sit down and have dinner we have nothing to fucking talk about so it's good that that's your communication method to keep that yeah keep that little one question we had in the last episode of the podcast was how did you maintain the relationship with your partner after you had kids and we kind of spoke about the fact that you know you maintain the relationship with your partner after you had kids? We kind of spoke about the fact that, you know, you definitely, the adjustment is really hard to get used to. How did you guys find that? Difficult.

Yeah, and it's probably still difficult as well because you're traveling when they're babies, I think is a bit easier because they don't know. But when they're toddlers. Start to recognize you. Yeah, and recognize but miss you, I guess. And then everything just becomes about the kids or the toddler, baby. Yeah, so then you end up, that's all you talk about. It's like, oh, how was she today?

Yeah, she was good. And then you get to the end and you're like, right, I've got to go. We were saying it's kind of like being a roommate with a kid. Yeah. You know, you kind of end up like that a little bit like co-workers yeah and then when you finally recognize that hang on a minute we need to work on our relationship and you go to plan to do something and then you're both like fuck it i'm too tired or you go let's have dinner we sit down and all you do is talk about the kids. Yeah. It's just, your life just becomes so revolves entirely around. So we're probably still working through that to be honest.

It's, I think going to the U S will be really cool. Cause we're a bit of playing, bit of holiday, bit of playing again. How many weeks is it? We're going to be away 10 weeks. Yeah.

Okay. And how many games are you playing that 10 weeks? Five, maybe eight games all up, but play the U.s tournament do a bit of holidaying play another little tournament like eight days and then we go to europe for a month and then that's finished off with a friend's wedding in italy so i think that'll be a really good time that we're all just together and be able to connect and there's going to be other kids around. So that'll be cool. Yeah, that's really cool. Have you at any point gone, I think she's old enough now to give her a bat and ball

and we're going to see if she's got a – what's the hand-eye coordinate? Hand-eye is good. She can catch. Oh, wow. But catch like a bigger ball. She's pretty good with that. She could probably catch a cold. That's for sure.

Especially for a kindy. Mate, daycare. Jesus Christ. The kindy coffers we call them. They just come home and the nose is running. I'm a bit nasally now because I can't shake it. It's been four years, mate. You're always sick, aren't you?

Always. Stay overseas for as long as I can. Quite lucky touch wood. Yeah. Will you try and, I guess, inspire her with some of your interests? She loves, like, singing and dancing. A bit like yourself. Finchie, take it away.

He's going to release an album. I refuse to dance. We did rehearsals for our wedding dance and got there and I just totally forgot. You could have just done cricket moves. Cool. It's a hard no from Finchie. They're shit dance moves, bro. My wife is the biggest john farnham oh yeah what did you guys

dance to a farnham song two strong hearts ah beautiful beautiful song so i don't dance i sing but not in public in the shower and she can do whatever she wants she just wanted to be happy yeah absolutely she she loves dancing and entertaining. And last night we had the tea set out and she's walking around, she's filling up your teacups. She's like, there you go, dada. Cheers, dada. So that's quite cool.

It's amazing when they start doing little things like that. Like Macy's got this thing where she just throws everything in the bin. It's so cute though. Do you fish the food out and put it back on the plate? No, we don't want to go there. Let's not go there. Yes. And mainly in the middle of the night I fish it out, reheat it and eat it.

Absolutely. That's on a different episode. But, yeah, it's really cute when they start getting a mind of their own that she loves to entertain by doing those little things. Yeah, just watching them explore. Watching them trying to figure out like a drunk. Yeah, what is the use of this? Yeah.

Yeah, but they keep looking around and then they work it out pretty quick. Yeah. But they just copy everything, don't they? She must be fascinated though with like your cricket equipment. Does she not look at your pads and your bat and is she – I don't know if she would have seen them. She doesn't want to smell that cup, that's for sure. Where are they kept at home?

Just in the garage. In the garage. I don't want to smell that cup, that's for sure. Where are they kept at home? Just in the garage. In the garage. I don't have bats around the house or anything. My wife is a clean freak. Oh, really? We usually, it's funny because we usually do these interviews in the guest house, like I was saying, and the dirtier the better. So it's probably like...

It doesn't exist in our house. It doesn't exist. That's crazy. If I have a shower, five minutes after I have a shower, if I haven't picked it up, she's like. The towel? Clothes that I was just wearing. She's like, how fucking hard is it? That's so funny.

How fucking hard is it? That's great. So Esther's not picking up your baggy green and taking it out to the sand pit? Nah, she's not quite there yet. Everything else she gets into. We've got one of those baby gates. Yeah, they're great, aren't they? Oh, you've got to set up the house like it's a fortress now.

But when somebody leaves it open, she finds it. You look up and she's at the top of the stairs going, Hi, Dada. Oh, escape artist. But then she wants to come down. Yeah, backwards. I want you to come down, but you're going to blow up if I just go and pick you up and bring you down.

I really can't have you get in concussion. I know. No, like down 15 stairs. Have you had any trips to the emergency room yet? Not yet. Touch wood. That's definitely not wood, guys. That's a bit of vinyl.

Touch wood. Finchie, I've seen the time, and I know that we are itching towards your get-out time because you've got to go to work. You've got to commentate at the Ashes. I had a childhood dream of mine is to bowl a ball to a first-class cricketer. Right. So what?

Are you just making this up? No. No, no, no. We've been talking about it for weeks. If you would allow us. Just a few minutes. Just a couple of balls straight down the hotel room here. I've got a bat and ball, six stitcher.

Don't worry about the windows. We'll take care of that. No worries. I have half an over each. No worries. Do we have time? Absolutely. Yeah, we'll be all right.

We'll make time. We've got a beautiful little bat that's the finest willow in England. Yes. From Kmart. It's not actually. It's the finest plastic from China. Perfect. Even better.

We'll have a crack. But thanks so much for jumping on the podcast. Pleasure, boys. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Sharing your wisdom. As always, we always have to say, if you've enjoyed this episode, we would absolutely love it if you gave us a review.

Hey, maybe even five stars. If not for me and Ash, do it for Aaron Finch. And we'll see you guys next week. And if you have any other recommendations of any doting dads or mums out there that you would like us to interview please make those suggestions to two doting dads on instagram and uh let's uh get finchy padded up yeah and again thank you and for jumping on we really appreciate you spending some time with us thank you thanks guys see you mate 30 odd years of uh dream coming true you ready oh my god that was i was worried about hitting my hand after all that build up that was

terrible i was worried about hitting my hand on the bloody thing. I think it's over that 610, so. Got it. No, it was a ball. Oh, I thought it was the bottom edge. There's not much bounce on the... All right, here we go. This is the first hit I've had for a while. That was great.

All right, let's get one more. Matt, do you want to go? Absolutely. Okay, we've got one more. Jeez, you didn't miss that. All right, here we go. Oh, that's, mate, you got it off the crack in there. All right, mate, you're up.

All right. This is, when we started the podcast this is not how I imagined we'd be doing things. We're just bowling. Bowling at a first class batsman. Oh! Not a bad, not a bad nut that one. Mate, you still, you still opened it. I'm a bit more careful than you. You still opened it? No. The The bowling for St Peter's 4th. To you. Oh, right on the block.

I'll give this one. He said he doesn't have any defence, but. Yeah, let's go. One more. Here we go. Oh! He's got him. I reckon that's chopped onto the stump.

Chopped onto the stump. You can have that one. Yeah, that was good. Thank you so much. Cheers. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present,

and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land.