Two Hot Takes - 114: Is Karmic Justice Real?

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Alejandra! This episode features stories that have us talking all things karma. Is it real? Can it do "bad" things? These stories are all over th...e place from cheating to murder and I may be even more confused on karma than before. Can't wait to hear your thoughts! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Watch our Iceland Travel Vlog!!! https://youtu.be/FISXcwnw49E Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Babbel: Babbel.com/THT PDS Debt: www.pdsdebt.com/THT Gametime: Download the Gamete app, create an account, and use code THT for $20 off! Hellofresh: HelloFresh.com/tht16 and use code tht16 Article: Article.com/THT

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Starting point is 00:01:21 when you go to babel.com slash tht. That's babel.com slash tht for up to 55% off your subscription. Babel, language for life. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode 2 Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Alejandra. Alejandra just heard the past 30 minutes of my life. And it's been chaos this week, you guys.
Starting point is 00:01:43 I don't know if it's Mercury in retrograde or Karma coming back to haunt me, but I've been a good person. I have not done anything mean to anyone. I am like, I don't do anything. I'm so nice. But I had three packages stolen this week, one including like a $2,000 camera that I needed. And I'm just like, I'm losing my mind, losing my mind. And then back in Minnesota, everything's going to shit there.
Starting point is 00:02:10 The horses got out on the road. The windmill broke off the little axis and like fell on the ground and the blades are all bent. I'm like, I don't know. I think it's Mercury. I think it's Mercury. What did I do? I really do think so.
Starting point is 00:02:28 I feel you. I mean, I haven't had a bad week like that. Your week's been a little stressful though. This week's been stressful, but like, I forget. I think a week ago, my car had a problem. I was in jury duty. It was that time of the month and I was getting viciously annihilated. I was getting taken out by my cramps.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Taken out. Like they were going 10 rounds relentlessly for like ever. So those three things. And then there was one more thing that was like traumatic. And I was like, and I was asking myself the same thing. What did I do? What did I do to deserve this energy from the universe? And I'm like, I'm my own business.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I just work hard. I'm just out here living. Good person out here living just good vibes. And then bam. Coming for you. But you know what? I think it means that there's good on the other end of this. I really do.
Starting point is 00:03:20 There's got to be some looking up. But that leads us into today's theme, which is instant karma. Karmic justice, as some would say. But we're going to be kind of reading these crazy stories and thinking like, is this karma? Is karma real? Does karma do bad things? Because some of these are not happy endings.
Starting point is 00:03:43 And it's like, I don't know how I feel about karma being a vicious entity. So we're going to really get into this. OK. You ready? Yeah. Let's dive in. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:04:14 OK. I have so many tabs open. But I'm going to start us off a little lighter. Not so crazy today. Please do. My cortisol cannot handle a lot of stress this week. So I ask that you keep the stress level to a lower end. You always give me the stressful episodes.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And it's unfair. Because then I have to weigh in on these really tough subjects. And everyone's like, oh, I just did it in here. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? And then I even like, I tested my theory. And I literally was like, I went very with the consensus. And I didn't go against the grain. And I was like, yeah, asshole.
Starting point is 00:04:53 And I didn't say much. And then everyone was like, oh, just heart wasn't in it. And I'm like, I don't know what you want. I know. It's like stick to the Reddit stories. Yeah. And then when we just stick to the Reddit stories, it's like, one thing about this podcast,
Starting point is 00:05:11 you know, we're 114 episodes in now, but it's like damned if we do and damned if we don't. For sure. You know what? We're just going to be ourselves. And if you don't like us, I kindly invite you to leave. However, this is not an airport. And you do not need to announce your departure.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Oh, where did you get that one? Where did you get that one? Someone's been on TikTok. It's been circulating. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Anyway, we're happy to have you though. We're so happy you're here.
Starting point is 00:05:40 I'm so blessed. Thank you. This week, this episode is truly going to be a like, bless this mess. Like me. Oh, me. Put that on a sweatshirt tomorrow. Bless this mess.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Cancel your entire day. I need sweatshirts. Bless this mess. I have been working on merch. Wait. No, that for sure. For sure. Write it down.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Okay. I'm going to put the sweatshirts in there. Okay. Karmic justice. Karm, Karm, Karm. Wait, what is it? What is it? What is it called?
Starting point is 00:06:09 Karmic justice. Question mark. He said Karmic. Karmic. Honestly, it sounds fancy. Maybe we'll go with that. Karmic. All right.
Starting point is 00:06:17 Sorry. So this one is posted four days ago. It is titled, Am I the asshole for not inviting my brother and sister-in-law to meet my baby because they didn't have visitors for three months after they had their baby? When my sister-in-law had her son approximately seven months ago, her and my brother did the quote,
Starting point is 00:06:38 we're taking this time as a family and we won't be having visitors in the hospital or meeting the baby for the first couple of months. Thanks for respecting our time, et cetera. And they did not have any visitors over for the first three months, as she said. I totally respected this. Brother didn't really care about the visitor either way,
Starting point is 00:06:57 but she specifically didn't want any visitors. So anyways, I had my baby two weeks ago and I did have visitors in the hospital and at my house and my close family members, mom, sisters, cousins, godmother, aunts and uncles, grandparents, except my brother and his wife. Yesterday I had a family dinner where my family came over and cooked for me and held the baby, et cetera. Some people posted pics of this get together on social media.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I did not post them. My sister-in-law saw these pics and was like, I would love to meet the baby, blah, blah, blah. She told my brother to ask why they weren't invited. Brother really didn't care. He just asked on her behalf. I was like, y'all can meet my baby after three months. Thank you for respecting my choice.
Starting point is 00:07:46 You didn't want me to meet my niece for three months, so you can meet your niece after three months. So now she posted a sub tweet about me and I don't get why She didn't let people meet her baby for three months, so why should I let her meet mine? I respected her choice, so I don't understand what the problem is. Let her have it. Was this an am I the asshole?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Yeah. Yes. For sure. You guys know this. Like, I hate tip for tat mentality. I think it's so petty. If you said to me, I'm going to, I really like what you did with the three month rule,
Starting point is 00:08:28 and I think that's really smart, and I'm going to also do that. I'm going to not have visitors and take this time to bond with my new baby for three months and no one's meeting the baby, so that therefore you're not going to meet the baby. Then I would say, okay, like, no big deal. The fact that they let other people meet the baby and did it, that's just being petty. You're not trying to actually create a special moment
Starting point is 00:08:49 with your baby. You're honestly isolating them to almost punish them retroactively, like serve retribution. Absolutely. I think that's so petty and ugly. Yeah. This didn't feel like karma, but then I was like, honestly, but I mean, some might look at it where it's like,
Starting point is 00:09:05 you blocked me for three months from meeting the baby. I'm going to block you for three months. But then it is like, tip for tat, and you're just being petty, and this is your family. And it's so funny. This person's like, just my close family members, mom, sisters, cousins, godmother, aunts, and uncles, and grandparents.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Mother's mother, cousin twice removed, cousin ex-boyfriend. It's just like a clown car of people. And I'm like, this baby is two weeks old. It's a lot of people. Baby's immune systems are not developed that early. Yeah. And like, what are you doing? I mean, I don't really live your life.
Starting point is 00:09:42 If you want to have the whole world meet your baby, that's your family. That's your family. Yeah, that's your choice. But what I don't like is that her brother and sister-in-law had a legitimate reason for not having, at least to them, that was their legitimate reason for not letting other people meet the baby.
Starting point is 00:10:00 And they helped. They didn't make it personal. They didn't single anybody out. It was just, that was their boundary. What I don't like now is it's almost like them trying to punish them for that because there's no good reason other than you did it to me, so I'm going to do it back. And I think that's really mean.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah. And that's what the comments really picked up on. The top one with 46,000 upvotes is I think the reason she isn't happy is because they feel like you singled them out. Whereas when they told everyone they could visit after three months, that rule applied to everyone. No one got special treatment when they had their kid. It looks like you took it personally, though.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Exactly. You're the asshole. Exactly. Which is like, be mature, grow up. Like, especially with COVID, a lot of people deal with the afterbirth of their kids very differently now. It does look more intimate for a lot of people. And I remember being at the hospital when my brother
Starting point is 00:10:51 had his first born. I was in college. I think I drove up and, you know, the whole zoo of people is waiting there, like the whole circus. I mean, aunts, uncles, like my uncle was there, Matt's uncle. Like, everyone's there. And so it kind of gives like, birth is not a spectator sport, but granted, like this is after the baby's now born,
Starting point is 00:11:13 but like two weeks. And it just reminds me of this video I saw. And it was like this girl, like it was that window theme trend on TikTok, where it was like the... During COVID. Yeah. It was, it was, it's an older trend, but it was that music from the space movie, Justin's going to kill me
Starting point is 00:11:33 because it's his favorite one. Interstellar. Yeah. Yeah. I've never even seen that movie. Oh my God, it's so good. Really? But it's like them banging on the window, being like,
Starting point is 00:11:42 no, no. And it's this girl, and she was like standing outside the window looking at her parents, like giving her as a baby to a stranger. And the stranger like kissed her cheeks and was like, all close to this little baby and kissed her. And she ended up getting like, like herpes virus from it. And it's like, don't let strangers or even family members
Starting point is 00:12:04 like kiss your kids. Like, well, I don't think my mom could keep my family. Like the Latina culture. I know. It could be a cultural thing. Two kisses, not just one. Two cheeks. Like it, I think there's a little bit of culture involved.
Starting point is 00:12:20 For sure. I mean, French people kiss. For my culture. There's a lot of cultures that kiss, but I'm like, Yeah. The little baby, like let them, let them be old enough to consent. Like, but they're little and then you could give them RSV.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Yeah. You could give them so many things. Oh, from, from an immune perspective, I don't know. Honestly, you guys, I don't know a lot about babies. So I don't know what the practice should be. Their immune systems aren't developed for a couple months after. I knew that, but I guess I just see so many people like passing the babies around like a Stanley cup.
Starting point is 00:12:47 And so I'm like, everyone's like, you know, smothering the baby. So I never thought anything otherwise. And listen, whatever is your. Whatever floats your boat. Whatever you want to do. You want to let the whole town meet the baby. You want to isolate your baby. Go off.
Starting point is 00:13:01 What I don't like in this story was that they made it personal and it didn't need to be personal. No, that's not karma. No. Okay. Next one. I'm like, I don't know how bad I want to get to us. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:13 This one might be happy. Okay. Maybe. I want funny. It's not that. I want to slap my knees and laugh. Okay. Well, the title, the title is I'm sleeping with my husband's
Starting point is 00:13:27 mistresses husband. And it feels like a small wind for me every time. I'm sleeping with my husband's mistresses husband. Yes. Okay. Pulling the switcheroo. Yeah. There is a spoiler.
Starting point is 00:13:44 There's a spoiler at the top of this one contains spoilers from the white lotus season two. So. Oh, okay. That's very, very nice. I haven't finished season two, but it's okay. Spoil. I 40 female just finished watching the white lotus season two
Starting point is 00:14:00 with my husband male 45 and couldn't help but think about Daphne. I met my husband 10 years ago and I loved him our entire marriage. We have three children together all under five. Oh, I found out a year ago that my husband. Damn. Sorry. That's a lot. That's you've got your hands full.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Yeah. Sorry. That was just. I found out a year ago that my husband is sleeping with his colleague female 30. I can't describe the pain. I felt feel, but you can see it in Daphne's eyes sometimes. I felt ugly, undesirable and stupid.
Starting point is 00:14:42 I got obsessed with a colleague and I found out who her husband male 35 was. I actually knew him from mutual friends. I contacted him and told him everything about our spouses. After a week's texting, we both knew without talking about it, what we wanted. Revenge sex is just the best kind there is. Or maybe this man is just a God.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Oh, wow. Tell me more. We decided we liked each other and wanted to continue. We meet at least once a week and I wish I could see him more, but we both know it is unwise. We decided that since we had each other, it doesn't matter what our spouses did. They're forgiven.
Starting point is 00:15:22 I don't want my children to grow up in two homes and he knows a divorce would be too costly for him. I watched the white lotus with my husband beside me while smiling inside that I knew what kind of a dirty liar he is. And I am for that matter and I love it. Please spare me that you are as bad though because I'm actually not. Edit to add, look guys, thank you for caring.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Ask me to update when all of this blows up in my face. How considerate of you. I guess if it all blows up in my face and my husband leaves me, my boyfriend and I can finally pursue a relationship together. No worries there. Wow. This is karma for me. Like in a good way?
Starting point is 00:16:06 I mean, it's like if he's out there cheating, she can do what she wants. He's the one that broke these vows first. Should she be an adult and say, hey, I know what you're doing? If we can't work through this and agree to a monogamous relationship, we should separate. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably the more adult thing to do,
Starting point is 00:16:28 but you know, she's a woman spurned or what is it? Scorned. Scorned. Yes. Spurned. That's a word, right? No, you're thinking of spurs from horses. I don't think spurned is a word.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Spurned is a word. Is it? Wow. I always learned something new. Past tense. Well, spurn is the word and then past tense is spurned. Reject with disdain or contempt. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:16:59 So was I technically right? Yeah, maybe you were. He spoke roughly as if afraid that his invitation would be spurned. I think I did mean scorned though, I'm going to be honest. Yeah, but that's really interesting. I love a nice, a new insult to add to the repertoire. Weird for the day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:17 So I'm like, I'm really torn, but honestly, this feels like karma. Yeah. It's not like. It is karma. It's they're both like, she got hurt first and so it's okay. Yeah, it's never right to hurt someone back. Yeah. But honestly, like, what's, what's fair?
Starting point is 00:17:33 What's good for the goose is good for the gander. What the hell did you just say? It's not a thing. That one is actually a saying. Oh, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Yeah. I know, I know it is. It is a saying.
Starting point is 00:17:50 I just can't believe you said that. Yeah. A 65 year old man. Yeah. Idiom used to say that one person or situation should be treated the same way that another person or situation is treated. And so I'm like, well, like a letter, whatever. I just see this down the road, the husband getting on Reddit and like being like, I made
Starting point is 00:18:10 the mistake. I had an affair and then I found out my wife was sleeping with my mistress's husband. How could she? Yeah. Like I just see how this is going to play out where he likely acts like this. But this is, this is very similar to Shania Twain, except Shania Twain didn't cheat. Shania Twain. What happened with Shania Twain?
Starting point is 00:18:33 You don't know. No. Okay. So Shania Twain was married. Okay. Her best friend started sleeping with her husband. They got divorced. The best friend married Shania's ex-husband.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Shania ended up marrying her ex-best friend's hubby and it's an upgrade. Y'all, if you look at pictures of the two of them, she upgraded big time. See that, I wonder if there's a little bit of trauma bond involved. Well, that's kind of the vibe here. That's the vibe here too. Yeah. I mean, would you give that advice to your friend? I think it depends on what you want.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Is it a fun little fling in the meantime? You feel like you're getting back, twisting that knife a little bit? Sure. But what do you see long term? Are you better off where you both, you all get divorced and you actually do a legal switcheroo? Probably. Like your kids are fine living in a separated household. People can co-parent and it can be very healthy.
Starting point is 00:19:32 And as they grow up, how long can you two hide your little affairs? It's going to impact your life, your kids' lives. Does the husband know? No, he doesn't, right? No. I just struggle with this. I personally wouldn't do it, but it's not about me. So with this story, I just struggle with it because part of me is like, haha for the plot,
Starting point is 00:19:58 go off, sis. But then part of me is like, that makes me sad because it's all fun and games, but I think it's easier to be in this position of like LOL because you haven't really had to face the repercussions yet. And I don't know, it's hard for me because again, like how do I not put myself in those shoes? Would you just walk away? You would tell the guy and then walk away?
Starting point is 00:20:24 Tell my husband? Well, how would you play this out if it were you? I wouldn't do this because for me, well, first of all, I've been cheated on. I've talked about that. I know the pain that comes with that. So I don't necessarily think I would perpetuate that by cheating on my partner. That's not in my plans because I know how hurtful and damaging that is. So I wouldn't want to do that to another person.
Starting point is 00:20:48 First of all, but again, this is me, not the OP. But like, I just feel like this doesn't make me feel better. Like again, kind of what the comment gets at is like, you're no better than him now. You're just as scummy, to be honest, and you're doing it out of enjoyment. And I would go to bed every night being like, I'm like at the saying when they go high, you know, when they go low, you go high, right? It's like, he's going low, you're trying to go lower. And what's the end game there?
Starting point is 00:21:18 Like you said, is that for the rest of your life, is this going to be a game and it's going to be fun for you? And you go to bed every night and you look in the mirror and you feel good about who you are and the decisions that you're making. If yes, then okay. Then do it. Yeah. But I have a feeling that eventually this will catch up to you and you're not going to
Starting point is 00:21:35 feel great about it. And you're hurting people. You're hurting families. You're hurting their kids. Your kids is hurting your husband going to make it, hurting your husband and doing what he did to you is not going to undo what he did. No, but it might make you feel better. If it does, but how long will it make you feel better?
Starting point is 00:21:55 That's a question she's got to ask herself. I'm so mad after my week that I'm like, I like this. I like this karma. I like this for a show plot, but I don't like it for a reality. If a friend was sitting in front of me and telling me that they're doing this, I'd be like, this isn't good for you. No. And that's like, you look at the long term, like, hey, you got it.
Starting point is 00:22:18 You're going to show him. If this comes out in the wash and he finds out and the woman finds out, because it's also her, this coworker knows he's married. Yeah. Like this coworker. They deserve each other. Those two deserve each other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:32 They're shitty people. They're shitty people. And so at the same time, I'm like, these are two hurt people that then took this opportunity as like, fuck this, let's go for it. Right. So I do think the husband and this coworker are worse. Yes. Like in terms of like, sucks, shitty people.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Yeah. I do think he's worse. But yeah, I think long term, like, do you want to be with this guy? It sounds like you're enjoying each other. So why not separate? Be legitimate. Why not confront them and say, hey, you know what? Like, you guys can have each other.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Yeah. We're actually, we're good here. I like that. I mean, I don't like that. Long term, it's a better solution. Yeah. If they genuinely enjoy each other and could see a relationship forming, like a real relationship outside of just spite sex, then they should approach this and be like, listen, y'all can
Starting point is 00:23:20 have each other. You deserve each other. We are going to make this a relationship. Here's a divorce. You know, I get it. It's harder than just saying you're going to get divorced. But that, I think I could get behind a little bit. I don't necessarily think this is like a healthy, happy way to live your life.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Yeah. No, it's long term, not super sustainable. It's not. Also when the guys like, or when OP was like, a divorce is too costly for him. Yeah. If he has a lot of money, I'm sure he has a prenup. Everyone should have a prenup regardless of money. Weird.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Wasn't I saying that a couple of years ago? I love prenups. You did it a couple of years ago. I did a whole episode on it. I got on board. Did you miss that episode? No, I remember that episode. I remember hearing it going, well, well, well, I didn't want a prenup.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Thank you. That's what I was looking for. No, I didn't. I initially took it as like, you don't trust me. You don't love me. Yeah. I remember we had this whole conversation. I'm on board now.
Starting point is 00:24:13 I'm on board now. That's all I needed. I was like, you did not always like that. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't understand them at all. Yeah. What do you mean? And I was always like, you guys, they're not as bad as you think they are.
Starting point is 00:24:23 They're not. They're sometimes they protect you. They do. And so with this guy, like maybe he has one, maybe he doesn't, but like a lot of prenups like have infidelity clauses. So if one partner cheats like prenup, it's like kind of null and void. It depends. Like it in terms of like, like her getting stuff from him, if it was like written in like
Starting point is 00:24:44 some rich ass people have these crazy clauses in their prenups for like their wives. Yeah. I know. I'm thinking like heterosexual rich dude, not as established woman and there's things like after 10 years of marriage, if we divorce, you'll get 20,000 a month, like crazy rich people. Shit. And so I'm just thinking like if there's a prenup and she cheated, it was like that
Starting point is 00:25:06 a lot of cases if you cheat, like you don't get those things that are specified in a prenup. She fucked herself. Exactly. A divorce might not be as costly for him as he thinks. And then are both of them, all of them going to be happier? Yeah. I just, it's a really simple saying, but two wrongs don't make a right. And I genuinely believe that I've been scorned.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I was given an opportunity to try to fight back. I had that stalker situation. That woman, I could have blown up her life in faster than she could tell me to fuck off. And I chose not to. She would have deserved it, to be completely honest with you. But I didn't because I was like, I want to go to bed every night knowing that I did not do anything that I wouldn't want done to me. And I'm not vindictive.
Starting point is 00:25:54 It doesn't make, maybe it'll be like a day of pleasure, right? Like watching this person's world blow up and being like, you got what you had coming. But then when the dust settles, you're like, I'm not that kind of person. I'm not a bad person. I don't do things like that. And I feel like that could be her case where she's going to wake up one day and be like, what am I doing? Yeah, we'll see.
Starting point is 00:26:15 I do want an update on this one. Yeah. I mean, I really do. Yeah. I struggle with it because it's entertaining. Well, and it's like, it'll work out. People get divorced, shit happens. It's all good.
Starting point is 00:26:30 I don't think our divorce is even like a worst case scenario here. I think divorce would be a great solution for them. No, I think I am in favor of divorcing. Yeah, divorces. In that one. Yeah. In that case, I think divorces, I'm a child of divorce. When I tell people that sometimes I've been met with the response like, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:26:52 And I'm like, why? Why are you sorry? Like, I think divorces are amazing when they're needed. Like I shouldn't say, I don't want to be insensitive and be like, divorces are amazing. But more so, I think that there are times where divorces give people another chance at the life that they wanted or that they feel like they didn't get. Or in the case of my parents, like they're super amicable. I have a relationship with both.
Starting point is 00:27:18 They co-parented really well. And I think, I look at my parents today, I mean, you know my parents, can you imagine them being married? No. No, they weren't meant for each other. And I think divorce was, I'm so happy they got divorced and they taught me such an important lesson. It's never too late to start over.
Starting point is 00:27:34 You know, you're not giving up on life because it's not a failure. It's actually saying, look, you can try again. You didn't get it right the first time, but you can try again. Yeah. No shame in it. No, no shame. And some people are like, honestly, they find a better match the second time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Or the third time. Or the fourth time. Or the fourth time. But it wasn't the first time. That's okay. Yeah. Debt is something I've always struggled with throughout my life. And if you're like me, you're probably wishing there was an easier solution to tackle your
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Starting point is 00:29:00 and easy debt assessment at www.pdsdebt.com slash tht. That's pdsdebt.com slash tht. Take back your financial freedom today by visiting pdsdebt.com slash tht. Okay, moving along. Let's do it. This, it is kind of similar to this one we just read, but it gives the vibe of what I kind of predicted with the husband like ready to read it. And so now I'm like, I just think this will be kind of an interesting like carry into
Starting point is 00:29:29 and it'll be good. Okay. So this one is four months old now. It's titled, I 32 male asked my wife, 30 female, if we could open the relationship. She agreed and I'm feeling upset because although she's bisexual, she's only sleeping with men. Okay. 32 male and my wife is 30 female.
Starting point is 00:29:52 After five years of marriage, I felt like she had given me all she had to offer. Now please don't judge me for saying that. She just had a very low sex drive and I have a higher one. I figured opening the relationship would help out marriage and help me get my needs met. She originally said no, but after I explained to her the benefits, she said yes after a few days of asking. She seemed both excited at the possibility of a threesome. Now where the problem lies is that my wife is bisexual and yet the only people she's
Starting point is 00:30:25 been sleeping with have been men. When I asked about this, she said she only sleeps with people she clicks with and they just happen to be men. When I told her my feelings about this, she said it's only fair because I'm sleeping with other women. While true, it makes me wonder if she's truly bisexual. When I asked her to also sleep with women, or I'd want to close the marriage again, she rolled her eyes and said no.
Starting point is 00:30:51 One of the guys I fear is trying to seriously date her. He brings her flowers and food, pays for her nails and never even acknowledges me when he's over. I feel like she's dismissing my feelings and I'm getting frustrated. I want to close our marriage again. How to approach this? Karma. Again, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Starting point is 00:31:16 I'm struggling with these topics. I think you picked the wrong girl for this. No, if he wanted the open relationship. If you want an open relationship because your wife's libido is too low for you, she offered me all she has to offer. I need to get my needs met elsewhere. Good. You can get your needs met elsewhere, but then she does too.
Starting point is 00:31:38 That's an open relationship. You both get to see other people. You then don't get to say, ah, you know, that guy's too nice to you. You can't fuck that one. She happened to find a nice guy. If you want to go fuck nice girls that bring you food, you can do that. But just because she's not following your idea of an open relationship to a T, all of a sudden you want to close the marriage?
Starting point is 00:32:03 She never wanted to even open it. She pestered her after days of asking. She finally agreed. That's like manipulative coercion. So she agrees and then you're going to cry about it. Don't open relationships if you aren't ready for the consequences. I agree with all of that. You don't have to convince me of that.
Starting point is 00:32:25 I'm ready to fight this guy. What I think is that these people just shouldn't be together. No, they shouldn't be. She should date the nice guy with the flowers and the food. I just, after the first two sentences of you reading this, I was like, I don't even care what comes next. These two people shouldn't be together. Him saying things like she's given all that she has to, I mean, right.
Starting point is 00:32:45 And then don't judge me. I'm judging you. Too late. I'm judging you. Move on. Second thing. You know, she has low libido. I have high libido.
Starting point is 00:32:54 Sounds like a mismatch. Sounds like a mismatch. I'm sorry, you guys, but sex is a big part of your relationship and sexual chemistry is a very, very important factor. Let's just call a spade a spade. And if you're not on the same page about that, then you need to either have multiple partners and not be in a monogamous marriage, again, like an open relationship. But if you're going to get an open relationship to your point, Morgan, you can't say open
Starting point is 00:33:20 but not that one. Open but not the good looking one. Open but not the friendly one. I agree. I completely agree. Yeah. He didn't like the way it panned out. I don't know why it makes a difference whether she's hooking up with guys or girls.
Starting point is 00:33:32 I don't know. The difference is that a guy is a threat to his ego. Yes, exactly. That's the difference, but he won't say that. And who gives a crap if she's by or not and hooking up with only guys? I completely agree with her. I only want to be intimate with people that I connect with. Guy or girl doesn't matter at that point.
Starting point is 00:33:52 So it's like, who are you to dictate who she connects with? But I think the root of this issue is just two people that shouldn't be together. Well, that's what I'm like questioning. I'm like, when they got together, were their sex drives more matched? Exactly. So now is it his lack of intimacy that is causing her to pull away? Because a lot of times for women, there's a lot of emotional and mental foreplay that impacts our sexual drives, our sexual appetite.
Starting point is 00:34:22 There's a lot where it's just like, and it's small things too, right? It's kind of a joke where it's like helping around the house is going to get you laid, but it for sure will because you're taking stuff off of her plate, her mental load. And there's certain things that don't seem like a lot where like, I saw this thing the other day and it was this guy who was like, I go to the grocery store and my wife, even though I'm going to the grocery store, she makes me a Google doc and she puts the item, the aisle and the pictures. This lady is still doing the work of the grocery shopping.
Starting point is 00:34:53 That's almost more work. It's easier for her just to go and it's like, if you're going to help your partner and take things off their plate, do it. But don't call them and ask them questions. Don't pester them. They will. But it's like, do it, just do it. You can make an executive decision at the store and hey, if you get the wrong crackers,
Starting point is 00:35:14 World War III is not going to happen. I don't know because I see the other side of that now where it's like, I feel like if we heard of a husband who, she's like, go get the oranges and he comes home with great fruit. Is that weaponized incompetence though then too? No, no, no, no. Hold on. Let me finish.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And they get it wrong because they've got it wrong. My dad did some very questionable things trying to pair it with me, but anyway. And then I can hear you being like, come on, Bozo, call her next time if you were unsure. So it's like- Communicate. Yes. Exactly. Communicate.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Everyone has their cell phones in the store. Call her. No, but it's stories where it's like, I've been buying the same crackers for five years. I love these Mary's crackers. They have great ingredients. My husband eats them. He sees them. They're the only crackers I buy.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Yeah, and then they buy the- The Ritz. Yes. Yes. And it's like- No, that's beyond me. Do these look the same? You've been eating them for five years.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Why didn't you grab the crackers? And so it's just, that feels like weaponized incompetence where it's like, I just needed a little bit off my plate and I asked you to help and then you created more work for me. Yeah. Like it didn't help me. It hurt me. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:36:27 And I get- Yeah. I get good intentions, but like- Yes, yes. You know? I'm talking about an honest mix up. Yeah. Like a guy being a guy, head in the clouds, looks like an orange.
Starting point is 00:36:35 It's not an orange. But like, you know, like- I'm so mad at the world today. Yeah, got lemons. Yeah. No, I do believe that there is whatever, but we got way off topic. Let's bring that back. So where were we?
Starting point is 00:36:46 So we're wondering about the sex drive. Oh, okay. No, you make an excellent point. Yeah. You know, it's the same thing. Hormones too. If you have a hormone imbalance- Who shifted?
Starting point is 00:36:55 Who shifted? Yeah. Were you guys less active in the beginning and then the guy realized this isn't active enough for me. I need more sex. Or were you super active in the beginning and there's something going on in your relationship and she's pulling away and now you're in this vicious cycle because she's pulling away and he's pulling away.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I don't know. But there's something. You guys are a sexual mismatch. Maybe you just need to like have a conversation or go to therapy or, I don't know, you tried opening up your relationship, didn't sit well with both of you for some reason. And those are deep rooted issues. Yeah. You have an issue with her finding other men.
Starting point is 00:37:26 So it sounds like maybe you're threatened. I don't know. I think so. There's something else going on. Well, and it's like you only wanted her to sleep with other women, but like she is bisexual. She likes both. Yeah. So it's like you-
Starting point is 00:37:37 So why is, she'll leave you for a woman, buddy. Why are you less threatened by the man? Actually watch out. Like these girls these days, whoo, girls are getting hotter. More threatened by the guy. Girls are getting hotter. Yeah. Girls.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Oh. I know. Well, the girl, I mean guys can go with and get a manicure, but like the girlfriend, she'll go with and get them done. I have lately, but who, girls are getting hotter. Who was I looking at the other day where I'm like, this girl is beautiful. Like honestly, men should watch out. Are you thinking about going down that path?
Starting point is 00:38:06 Not really, but, but I just couldn't appreciate a woman. No. Oh my God. There are some beautiful, beautiful women. Beautiful women. There's like a theory that there's way more beautiful women than there are men. So Laura just posted a TikTok the other day and she's like, I'm in Miami or she was somewhere and like, it is beautiful women after beautiful women.
Starting point is 00:38:23 And she's like, the hot girl to hot guy ratio. Off. Yeah. Off. Very off. We got some hot girls out there, including all of you listening that identifies girls. Exactly. But yeah, anyway, our point is that divorce.
Starting point is 00:38:38 He's a fool. Very titling this episode divorce. Oh God. I just got PTSD from that. Divorce or not. It was one of the first ones. I know, but it didn't go well. Divorce is not easy.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Honestly, it doesn't seem that hard. Hot take. You guys wanted a hot take. Like why? Why is it so hard? What do you mean? Dividing assets is not an easy task. You, your lawyer, talk to their lawyer.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Oh, Morgan is. It's not what type of person you are. It can be hard. If you're a fighter and you want to take him for everything. What if you didn't have a prenup? Hard. Hard. Hard.
Starting point is 00:39:21 I'm just like, you know, let me take my shit. You take your shit. You know, buy me out if you want to keep something we bought together. That sounds so good right now, but imagine when the feelings are, the emotions are heightened. I'm so weird. I've started to realize this about myself, but when I check out, I'm like, let's just be done. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Let's be done. I know. I'm not everyone. Do you think Justin's going to be such a rational actor? Maybe Justin's a super level headed person. I know. Okay. Divorces aren't easy.
Starting point is 00:39:50 I just think they're, they are easier than a lot of people make them out to be. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I've watched a lot of suits lately. Suits is not an accurate reflection of what legal cases are like in real life. I'm here to tell you, I've worked in major law firms, you guys.
Starting point is 00:40:07 My credentials are real. No. My aunt is actually a family practice lawyer, became a judge for many years. And now she's like retired from like public judgeship and she's a private judge. So like these families that like don't want their divorces and like family matters in a court system can pay her and like, it's crazy stuff. So she's like a judge. She's like a mediator on these like private things and the stories I've heard like, I
Starting point is 00:40:36 know, I know it gets bad. I know it gets messy, but you know, when it's, when it's healthier for you guys to be a part, why make the divorce bump? Oh, I agree. I just like be done. Yes. Like be done, realize like chalk it up, chalk it up as an L, like move on and get the next W.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Right. I think this guy just needs to, I mean, two is quite like, how do I close the relationship? Like you have a conversation with her and Ernest, tell her how you feel. Fall on your sword. Tell her that your ego's a little bruised and that you're feeling insecure and that you guys need to find a way to restore your sex lives in a different way because the open relationship wasn't working for him. I mean, that's what you, that's if you're a happy, healthy couple, that's what you should
Starting point is 00:41:20 do. What else do you do? Like everyone makes mistakes. You didn't know what you were signing up for, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know what I was getting into. I hope for her sake, she stays with the guy that gets her flowers and food and her nails.
Starting point is 00:41:34 But maybe, maybe their relationship is really good and he's a really good guy to her and they just listen, bumps in the road happen with sex lives. No, it's for sure. It's not like they're like, I don't, we don't know. We just know what they told us. I just don't think someone that says she's giving me all she has to offer. That's true. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Like, he doesn't seem like a nice guy. He seems like the guy that wants to have his cake and eat it too. Yeah. That's true. I don't know. This is a tough one. But he could have just phrased it really wrong. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:06 I know I'm being a Devils advocate. He could, he could suck. He could suck. That's going to be an upcoming theme, by the way. Devils advocate. Oh, it's going to be a good one. Top comment on this one. All caps.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, like all the way down the screen. Next comment. Different person. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I love when K forma hits hard. You don't approach it. You open this door, now you get to watch her walk through it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:31 No. Let me be clear. I think that is totally warranted. I think he opened Pandora's box and he is now trying to close it. And that's you can't play both sides. Yeah, this next comment, almost 2000 upvotes. So, you wanted to open the marriage. So you both would sleep with women, preferably three sums.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Now you feel cheated as she's getting more action with guys and I'll bet her sex drive has gone through the roof. You can't make her sleep with women. She can still be bisexual and never have slept with a woman. Reap what you so, dude. You insisted on opening the marriage to your advantage and your wife has suitors lining up to replace you, ha ha.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Yeah, I agree. I think they should part ways. Yeah. I think that would be best for everyone. Everyone. Okay. Moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Game Time.
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Starting point is 00:44:57 it does mention sexual assault. So this is titled, my mom abandoned me for her husband when I was 16 and he just got murdered four days after my 21st birthday. Life's crazy and karma's real. My stepdad physically abused me when I was 16. I called the cops and my mom literally abandoned me after that. I went through so many years alone,
Starting point is 00:45:21 struggling to even buy food. I feel so many emotions. Makes me feel relieved she's about to cry every day and suffer exactly like I did. I feel sorry for her as well as I know she really loved him. So she will never know I feel sorry though. She will never get my sympathy.
Starting point is 00:45:38 I have no intentions of connecting with her again. So now she has to really sit and live with what she did. Shit's crazy. Okay, let me get this straight. Oh, it's not done? Oh, no, no, no, I was just gonna preface. I'm kind of gonna preface this where this is the one where I'm toying with the idea of karma doing dark things,
Starting point is 00:45:58 dark as far as murder or you know what I mean? He got murdered. That's where I'm really toying with what karma really is. I thought it could lead to an interesting conversation. Yeah, that's so cute. Not the story for those listening. She did a really cute little hand gesture.
Starting point is 00:46:17 YouTubers will, we'll see. Go to the YouTube to see what hand gesture I'm talking about. I just, I know I kind of sound like a broken record but I've always really struggled with the idea of karma genuinely. I've always struggled with it. I don't necessarily know exactly what it means. Sometimes people say that's karma and I just don't buy.
Starting point is 00:46:35 I believe in, I'm a big believer in what you put out. We'll come back to you. Whether that's the form of energy, like I do. I do believe that. I don't know what you, if you wanna call that karma then that's karma but I think things like that, like I would never hear of a story of somebody getting injured or killed or something terrible
Starting point is 00:46:54 happening to them and thinking that's karma. Like I struggle with that. I don't know, I just really do. And in this situation, I don't know if it's a karma as much as it is, I don't know, I'm kind of at a loss. It's really hard, it's hard. Well, and like the definition of karma and it's a concept like deeply rooted in Hinduism
Starting point is 00:47:20 and Buddhism, the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. Okay. So it's such a loose term. And so it's all like, how do you even interpret that? And can karma do bad things? Like, I'm gonna Google that.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Can karma do bad things? If you hear people say, oh, that's bad karma, that's bad juju. Karma can be divided into good and bad karma. Good karma is a result of good deeds done for others. While bad karma results from intentional harm cause to others. Okay, but there's two things I have to say to that. One, that raises the question,
Starting point is 00:48:03 why do bad things happen to good people? Because there are people who do good all day, every day. All they do is good. I can think of people in my life and terrible things happen to them. So what do you call that? That's not karma. And then, or like they'll say,
Starting point is 00:48:16 even you and I at the beginning of this episode, we're laughing, we've been these good people above the belt, maybe I raised my voice at customer service the other day a little bit too much. I don't know, but like all things considered good person. On average. And so, but then all these bad things happen to us. And I don't think we deserved them.
Starting point is 00:48:38 I don't think that was our karma. I think shit just happens. And I got in trouble for saying this on an episode where I'm like, everything happens for a reason. Like I don't want to say that here. I was just going to talk about that. Yeah, because some people really don't like that and some people will accept that.
Starting point is 00:48:51 So wherever you stand on that, it's kind of like our interpretation of karma. Well, and I think I really agree with karma and like everything happens for a reason when it's light stuff. But like, and I think we're on the same page with that where it's like saying everything happens for a reason. We don't mean your dad got cancer for a reason.
Starting point is 00:49:10 We don't mean you had a terrible loss for a reason. Like, no, I mean the universe is like, you guys we're floating on this big fucking rock, like in the middle of multiple galaxies. Like there's, I don't really understand the space stuff. Like I do, but I don't, but like there is so much more out there than just us. Yeah, it's bigger than us.
Starting point is 00:49:31 It's so much bigger than us. So I'm like, I'm like, I think this world like, I mean, it's just cells mutating and causing havoc and like bacteria, look at bacteria. Like did we all come from bacteria? The big bang theory? Like what's the vibe here? I don't really know.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Everyone is like, what did they smoke for this episode? I wish I am going to have a gummy after this right now. But you know, I think every, when people say everything happens for a reason, at least for me, sometimes it's a coping strategy. Oh, it's such a coping strategy. Cause all you can do is like, try to look on the bright side. Like, hey, this terrible, shitty thing that happened,
Starting point is 00:50:06 like you got fired from your job. Hey, the next one's going to be so much better. You're going to have a better work-life balance and make more money. So, hey, this tough situation right now, it happened for a reason. Don't worry, it's going to get better. It's that stuff.
Starting point is 00:50:18 And people are like, well, that's toxic positivity, but it's like, no, it's just, sometimes you have to believe that is going to sound so cheesy you guys, but like rejection can be redirection. And so it's like hard to say, I think it's just people trying to see the good in life and the good in the world,
Starting point is 00:50:35 a world filled with darkness and trauma and terrible things. Like, when you feel terrible, you don't want to hear more terrible thing. You don't, oh, that freaking sucks. Sucks for you, Morgan, catch you next Tuesday. Like, no, oh, Morgan, I'm so sorry that sucks, but like hopefully something good comes out of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:51 I think like one thing, and I've tried to pick this up for myself when I'm really feeling overwhelmed, because I have a tendency to like, there's sometimes I vent and sometimes I want an actual solution. And I've really had to preface this where it's like, no, no, no, okay, like just hear me out.
Starting point is 00:51:07 I'm at an event, I just like, I need comfort. I don't need solutions after this. And I think that's something so healthy to do with like your friends too, where it's like, if your friends bitching about her boyfriend, and you're like, oh God, I've heard this fucking 50 times. And it's like, I've told her, break up, break up, break up. And you just need to be like,
Starting point is 00:51:25 after she gives her spiel, you look at her and you say, do you want comfort or do you want a solution? And we can, that's not mean or rude to ask someone that. And if they get offended by that, fuck them. Like you're trying to be a good helpful person. So I agree. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Cause there are people that like that toxic positivity where you're like, you're just venting and you just want someone to be like, yeah, that does suck. Like I'm sorry, do you want, like, should we go get Froyo? Yeah. And then they come back like, well, and I'm like, not well, fuck that person. And you just like, it's like the 13th reason.
Starting point is 00:52:01 You're just like, really? You're just like, this is not what I need. So it's okay to like preface it or ask someone if you're in a situation like that. We're all different. Like similar to how we all have different love languages. We all have different coping strategies. And there are some people who's like inherent reaction
Starting point is 00:52:19 is to problem solve, whether that they had a problem self growing up and now they're just constantly in survival mode. I don't know. So you tell them all of these things that happened to you that went wrong and their immediate instinct to try to be helpful is to offer you solutions.
Starting point is 00:52:33 And it can be viewed as insensitive or you're not being comforting. You're just like throwing solutions at them. But that's them trying to love you. And then on the other hand, you have people who are like just naturally really caring and soft and will listen and comfort you and give you a shoulder to cry on
Starting point is 00:52:49 and just tell you that you're beautiful and amazing. And that just doesn't come as naturally for some people. So I think you make a good point. Like sometimes you just have to clarify. Like listen, I love you because you're such a problem solver. But right now I need you to just channel the good vibes. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:53:07 I just saw this video of a girl the other day and she was like, I had this friend in college roommate, whatever it was. And she was like, I'm a crier. Like one thing about me is I'm a crier. I'm like same girl. But she was like, my roommate was so uncomfortable with like signs of emotion and like hugging
Starting point is 00:53:26 that she had a little business card and she would pass out the business card to her in like these times of like crying. And it said something. It was like really sorry you're going through this. Here's my hug. And it was like a business card. And I was like, that's great.
Starting point is 00:53:42 And someone commented and she's like, honestly, if I got this from someone, it would snap me out of whatever. Like I would laugh and then the original poster like replied back and was like, it actually worked a lot. Wow. Yeah. So I was just like, it's just cool.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Like everyone copes so differently. You're trying your best. I get really uncomfortable when people cry around me. And it's like, I do, I do. And I want to be soft and like love them. But I'm like, I feel uncomfortable. I just do. It's my response.
Starting point is 00:54:12 But like you're trying your best, you know? Yeah. So the top comment on this one, and we do have like, there's some little edits and some comments from OP. The top comment though is like, damn, who killed him? Also, watch how your mom comes back. Damn, who killed him?
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah. I should have laughed. Like who asked that? Also, watch how your mom comes back in your life. Like nothing happened. OP responds and goes, this is nuts. Sorry. Sometimes all you can do is laugh
Starting point is 00:54:43 in uncomfortable situations. I know. He beat some guy at the bar and gave him a black guy and fucked his face up. Well, the dude left, came back and shot him with another guy. They made him beg for his life. My grandma said, he was saying, please, no, please.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Shit's crazy. Someone goes, oh shit, your grandma was there? No, my mom keeps in contact with my grandma and she told me. That's what the cops told my mom. Oh my God. That's, someone goes, that's such a messed up thing to tell a widow, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:55:19 I would not want to know that my husband begged for his life. Isn't everyone gonna beg for their life? Like fuck I would. I don't know. This is like whole, like conversation on Reddit is just a lot. Damn, who killed him?
Starting point is 00:55:34 Damn, bro, that's crazy. Oh, I mean, at least they got the guy and like, I mean. It sounds like he started it. I don't know. This is really hard. It's hard because, okay, let's put it this way. Given the facts, it sounds like this guy terrorizes, terrorized people when he was Earthside.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Like, it's sorry, like I'm sure maybe he was a good person sometimes, but from what we're hearing, he was kind of going around choosing violence. So, and I'm not saying he deserved it. I'm just saying God's timing is, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. Cut that, cut that.
Starting point is 00:56:13 That was perfect. We can't cut that quality. Oh, Hunter, embrace the mess. Bless this mess, baby. Okay, okay, okay, fine. No, but I mean, he fucked around and found out. He fucked around. He beat the shit out of someone.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Oh, no, you're right. You're right. I mean, what do you, like the guy's not gonna come back and give you flowers. Like, hey, thanks for smashing my face. Is that other guy unhinged? Yeah, he shouldn't have shot him. He should have maybe grabbed a stick.
Starting point is 00:56:46 I don't know. Yeah, or just gone home and taken me out. Like, okay, here's what we're getting at. If you go around and choose violence, do not be surprised when violence comes back and chooses you. Would that be karma? I guess, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Based on, yeah, I guess, based on your interpretation and the reading of karma. Yes. No, this is fucking misdemeanors. It's crazy. It's hard because you don't wanna be insensitive. We are not insensitive people. We really, really don't wanna ever boil these things down
Starting point is 00:57:16 to like jokes on Reddit, but like, these are the cards. No. These were the choices made. Yeah. It's this story. It's not every murder victim. No.
Starting point is 00:57:25 It's very much so this story. And this person still doesn't deserve it. I just feel like it's not surprising when you hear of people having shitty things happen to them when all they did is go around and did shitty things to others. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:57:41 You can't go around poisoning people and then expect the world and people in the universe to just like light you up in the best way because you're not putting any of that out there. Yeah. Yeah. And the sad thing is this person really suffered like at his hands and then the mom abandoning them at 16.
Starting point is 00:58:02 They were dealt really tough cards. Yeah. I wish the best for them going forward. I do see some comments like they're starting therapy in May. The mom and the daughter. Oh, they're starting school in May. The daughter, yeah, of this, the woman that was married to that guy.
Starting point is 00:58:20 She's got her own host of issues. Yeah. It's giving, oh no, I can't give the spoiler alert. I'm right. It's giving what? It's a book. People who, the ones who know know. Okay, moving along.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Lighter, lighter topic. I love how we were like, that's the darkest topic. I think that's the hardest we laughed on this episode. I know. Whoa. Some people cope with dark humor. It's a trauma response. Trauma response.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Another one of this week's partners is HelloFresh. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portion ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun and affordable. Let me tell you, the past month of my life
Starting point is 00:58:59 has been so stressful and busy, which is why I love HelloFresh. Everything I want gets sent to my door. I get to pick and choose the recipes, the protein, and there's so many options. You can pick from 40 weekly recipes and choose from over a hundred items to round out your order.
Starting point is 00:59:16 And this May, HelloFresh is celebrating Asian-American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. So you can try limited time, authentic recipes created in partnership with chef, Serbi Sonny. So you can enjoy a cultural taste tour right in your own kitchen. And like I said, you can save money this month because HelloFresh is 25% cheaper than takeout.
Starting point is 00:59:36 If you want to try it for yourself, go to HelloFresh.com slash THT16 and use code THT16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping. Go to HelloFresh.com slash THT16 and use code THT16 for 16 free meals plus free shipping. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Okay, so this next one, five months old, it has been in my karmic justice folder
Starting point is 01:00:00 since the very beginning. Am I the asshole for not changing my tradition day to my daughter-in-law and making things uncomfortable? I have a tradition that every June and December on the first Saturday of the month, I make a traditional dish from my country for my family and friends. Everyone loves it and it's a family recipe.
Starting point is 01:00:21 My youngest son has been married to Wendy for three years, together one before. I didn't know her that well because they didn't live here. Wendy is a rising chef. In June, Wendy asked if she could help me make the dish and I said yes, it was my biggest regret. She gave advice on all the seasoning choices and even though I said it's a family recipe,
Starting point is 01:00:43 she kept giving her opinion. When the date passed, I made it clear that I would not like any more help, first and last time. She took it personally and our relationship became uncomfortable. Last month, day 16, I received an invitation from my son and Wendy to go to their house because Wendy was going to make this dish.
Starting point is 01:01:03 It was the first Sunday in December. To clarify, this dish is not something you can eat two days in a row as it is heavy. Someone sent me a message asking if mine would still happen. They know it's always the first Saturday and I confirmed. On the 20th, I sent the formal invitation by message. My son called as soon as he received it, asking if it would be on the first Saturday and I confirmed
Starting point is 01:01:30 and he started saying that people can't eat two days in a row and if I couldn't leave it for another week because Wendy wanted to do it to get closer to the family. I said no as it is my tradition and despite finding her choice of date unpleasant, I won't stop them but I will continue with the usual dates. He proceeded to say I'm making things uncomfortable
Starting point is 01:01:52 and a week later, it wouldn't bother me and use the coin her invite was sent before. I was perplexed and said that everyone knows it's the first Saturday of the month including them so it wouldn't change all of my plans. Things got uncomfortable of course but I kept it because it's something that doesn't just involve me, friends and family already confirmed.
Starting point is 01:02:14 There was a party on Saturday with family and friends, he and Wendy didn't come and on Sunday, I didn't go because I worked that day. Many didn't come and those who did few ate the food because they couldn't eat it twice. During the week, my son sent a message asking if it was worth it to have done that and upset her because it spoiled this moment
Starting point is 01:02:36 that she wanted to have with our family. He stressed that I could have been the best person but I preferred not to be. I don't think this attack is very fair but I wanted an outside opinion. It was the best date for all of my friends and family in December as they get together before the festivities, for me too.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Tradition that has been going on for 10 years added, many have asked, I apologize for being late. Fi-yo-ta, fi-hoda, fi-hoda, F-E-I-J-O-A-D-A is the dish. I know that many people- Oh wait, wait, how is this spelled? I don't see, we're gonna Google, we're gonna find a picture of it. Fi-hoda, fi-hoda, is the dish.
Starting point is 01:03:17 I know that many people in my country can eat it two days in a row but we know that eating fi-hoda in a row is the recipe for a beautiful stomach ache, especially mine that comes with many compliments. Am I the asshole? I don't know, I don't think the mom's the asshole. Also, challenge accepted,
Starting point is 01:03:37 I'm gonna eat this dish two days in a row, what? It looks like- What is it that you can't eat it two days in a row? I can eat a lot of things two days in a row. Honestly, it looks really, really good. It looks like, well- I've seen that, is that like sausage? It looks like sausage, black beans,
Starting point is 01:03:53 it looks like a very hearty stew. I've had that before. Yeah, and so- Can we figure out how to pronounce the word? Yes. Yes. Feijoada. Nah.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Feijoada? Okay, maybe, I guess it's Brazilian so I think that's Portuguese. Feijoada. Feijoada. Okay. How do you say feijoada in Brazil? It's Portuguese then, if it's Brazilian.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah, yeah. Feijoada. Okay, all right, cool. I've had that dish, I've seen it. Yeah. But I don't know, I could eat that two days in a row but whatever, that's beside the point. I think that Wendy had 363 other days on the calendar
Starting point is 01:04:32 to choose for her grand revelation of the feijoada and she chose a day that is- Yeah. Like, proceeding a day that's been on the calendar for- 10 years. 10 years, you know. Nice a year for 10 years, a top in 20 times. You could have picked quite literally any other day.
Starting point is 01:04:52 You could have gone, oh, what's between December and June? Let me pick a month here. Halfway point. Yeah, I just think that Wendy was being petty. I think Wendy was not wise and like kind of back to our earlier theme, like you fucked around and found out.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Like you kind of tried to go head to head with mom. Yeah. And sorry, but mom's a 10 year heavyweight champ on the feijoada, so. Yeah. It is interesting and it's like, you picked the Sunday after. She didn't want to pick the Saturday
Starting point is 01:05:22 because she knew that would be direct competition. She also probably knew picking the Saturday would guarantee that no one showed up. So she went with the Sunday the day after in hopes that mom would cancel. And it's, you know, it's fine. Why? Like, that's so disrespectful.
Starting point is 01:05:39 If I married into a family and my mother-in-law had this tradition for 10 years. A beautiful tradition. And I don't care if I'm an aspiring or up and coming chef, I would be like, okay, great. I'll do something completely different because there's so many dishes you can make and why make the same one.
Starting point is 01:05:54 And I'm gonna do it in the beginning of spring because there's nothing in the spring. And like make it a beautiful tradition and the family will appreciate you. And like, I don't know. I just think that this was a stupid move. No, she got her karma by people not really coming and then not really eating it.
Starting point is 01:06:12 And I think that is one thing that we've seen on a lot of the chef stories from Reddit is like the sense of like pretentiousness where it's like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm a chef. Like don't do that. Like if my mother-in-law invited me into her kitchen to make this dish that's been in their family, it's a family recipe.
Starting point is 01:06:29 She reiterated that again and again in the kitchen. It's a family recipe. And you're coming in and shitting on it. It's like, what? Or just being critical. Like be respectful. Like I would take that as an honor. Like I'm learning this family dish.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Like I have many traditions with my grandma where I go home and we bake stuff down there. Your cookies. Like we do the cookies around the holidays. I've never said to my grandma, hey, grandma, your ginger snaps. Let's use less ginger. They're a little too snappy lady.
Starting point is 01:06:57 No, they're a family recipe. They've been in the family for years and years and years. And I just enjoy spending time with my grandma and learning things how she does it. If I want to change it down the road, I know I can. That's my personal freedom and ability. If Wendy wanted to try out different seasonings and make it her own, she absolutely could.
Starting point is 01:07:18 But you don't have to go in and shit on someone else's like tradition and cooking and their abilities. And like their whole jam, like this is her jam. She does this for her family and her friends. It's a beautiful thing. And you just come in there and shit on it? Yeah. No, I completely agree.
Starting point is 01:07:35 I think there's a time and a place. It'd be different if you went in and cooked together and then Wendy's like, wow, I have all these ideas on ways to like put a twist on this traditional family dish. And then later you can experiment on your own and make it for everyone and go, this is inspired by the family recipe,
Starting point is 01:07:51 but I put my own twist on it. And that'd be fun. And that's, you know, and you preface it so it doesn't seem disrespectful. But like to be kind of like a backseat driver in the kitchen and be kind of enforcing your like culinary training on this traditional dish that people enjoy as is, has been in the family for years, feels disrespectful.
Starting point is 01:08:11 It does. And it also makes me sad because OP saying like, I'm not going to have it help anymore. This was the first and last time. Like that kind of makes me sad because how beautiful would it be for her to teach maybe a grand kid or someone and like then pass it down. But maybe that'll change down the line.
Starting point is 01:08:30 But like, you know, it's just like, it's like, ah, everyone has a sour taste in their mouth now. Yeah. Well, when you said that the daughter-in-law, Wendy, was like an up and coming chef. I was like, how perfect, like they cook together. And it's like, that got soured. That's how it should have been.
Starting point is 01:08:46 It didn't need to be this competition. And, you know- Why? Like, why? Marrying into a new family, it can be stressful. You can feel the need to like prove your worth and solidify your place in this family. But like, you don't have to try too hard.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Like be yourself and, you know, hey, maybe that is herself and maybe then tone it down a little. But you could have just gone in there and bend the helping hands, like done the chopping, followed the directions and spent time talking to her. Hey, where did this recipe come from? When was it first made? Did you make it with your grandma?
Starting point is 01:09:21 You get a beautiful time together where you can really inquire and learn about the history. Like, I'm such a little family, like historian junkie. Like, I'm literally making my grandma do these like podcast videos with me where I like ask her all these questions and I gave her a recipe book. So she's been filling out a recipe book for me
Starting point is 01:09:39 for the past four years. Wow. Like I'm trying to create these like little heritage pieces for myself and my kids. And it's just like, it's just sad to see people not take those opportunities with loved ones. Yeah. And then create drama where there doesn't need to be.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Right. I think respect is never going to earn you favor and popularity. If you're entering a family, being disrespectful, like choosing the date right after is a little bit disrespectful because you knowingly did it. She knew.
Starting point is 01:10:14 She knew what she was doing. And I don't think if you're ever trying to like earn your spot or whatever it is that you're trying to do, like don't do it disrespect. Like disrespect is never going to be looked upon in a good way. No, well, and also what's interesting is like, OP was like, well, I work Sundays.
Starting point is 01:10:30 So I couldn't. Yeah, that's even worse. Why would you do that? So I couldn't even go. And it's like, if you kind of know, like your mom works every Sunday, like that's her schedule, then especially why would you make it on a Sunday? Yeah, like you didn't want her there.
Starting point is 01:10:43 You wanted her to cancel hers and then make it so she couldn't come. Yeah. Like this is so weird. OP does add like another little edit under like the question, am I the asshole? And basically it just goes, I don't mind her doing this. I encourage it.
Starting point is 01:10:58 But yeah, I found the choice of dates peculiar. Six months in the year and any weekend and she chose the only weekend that I always do something to do the same. That's exactly what you said. Like, yeah. There's 363 days. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:14 Why couldn't she have picked a better one? Yeah, I can't figure it out. That to me is just your, I don't know, spiteful person. Yeah. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. One, this is a family tradition of 10 years. Traditions are important. And attempting to modify or change them is offensive.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Disrespectful, you nailed that. Two, she is clearly trying to upstage you, trying to prove to the family she can make the dish better. Three, her choice of dates was passive-aggressive. Four, your son is also an asshole for letting this happen. Yes, we forgot about him. And guilt-tripping mom, kind of like being really manipulative. Was it worth it?
Starting point is 01:11:55 You could have been a nice person. The best person or something. The best person. Come on. You want to crack yourself? Yeah, this is fucked up. And it's so simple. Like it's such a microaggression,
Starting point is 01:12:10 but look at the domino effect it's creating. I don't even think it's a microaggression. It's full out. I think it was an attack. It was a direct sabotage. Yes, she declared war, I think. Yeah. Like a bake-off.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Does get that, yeah. It's giving bake-off. Great British bake-off? Yeah, great British bake-off. Great Brazilian bake-off. Yeah. I was going to say when she was talking about the dish, like no one can eat this two days in a row.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Like what dish? Well, so I just watched, I'm getting really into the amazing race. Like I actually want to- What's that about? It's this challenge show where two people, partners, friends, whoever wants to apply, they apply as a little duo.
Starting point is 01:12:54 And you have to race around the world. You follow clues and have to do tasks. And the first one, each checkpoint, you're safe. Last one in the finish line at the very, very end, each week teams start getting eliminated. But the last one at the end wins a million dollars. Wow. Yeah, and so I'm highly considering applying
Starting point is 01:13:13 once life slows down a little bit. It's not the right season right now. Morgan, I'm so busy. I don't even have time to eat. It's only 21 days. Also, Morgan, I think I'm going to enroll in a race around the world. Okay, but it's a cool show.
Starting point is 01:13:27 And Jesse Tannenbaum, if you're out there, I'm ready. He's the casting guy. Nice. I'm a creep. So they were in Argentina for a challenge and they drive up and it's like this meat eating challenge. It's like a traditional Argentinian barbecue. They had a lot of red meat.
Starting point is 01:13:44 They had to eat, I don't want to get it wrong, they had to eat four pounds of barbecued beef parts. There was a tongue, there was a brain, like there was four pounds. And like they... Sounds like fear factor. It kind of was that vibe. And like they brought out this tray
Starting point is 01:14:02 that like literally is like the size of our side tables here. Like if you make a circle with your arms in front of you and you're a shorter person, maybe around five feet, that's how big the tray is, filled with meat. And I'm like, the eating challenges would definitely fuck me up. Yeah. But that's what I was like.
Starting point is 01:14:20 I was like, are they Argentinian maybe? And this is like a traditional... No, I mean... But this is just a little stew. That's like, I could house a couple turkey burgers and then do it again the next day. Is it like my preferred weekend activity? No, but like if I do it once a year...
Starting point is 01:14:37 Okay, but honestly, have you ever gotten the meat sweats? No, cause I don't eat red meat. No, but it can happen with just a lot of meat. With what meat? What meat would do that? I don't know, turkey and chicken. I don't think you get the meat sweats from them. I don't know, I could be wrong.
Starting point is 01:14:51 In fact, check me, I've been wrong a lot, so please. But to answer your question, I have not gotten the meat sweats. Someone goes, this doctor. Dr. Layman said, meat sweats are not a thing. No one has ever reported sweating. But it's like a common thing where you just... I've heard of it, but I hear it with red meat.
Starting point is 01:15:07 You just feel heavy and hot. Yeah, it's like cow and like pig. Someone, this is a commonly Googled question. Can you get meat sweats from chicken? Can you? But in theory, it could also include eating chicken, turkey or fish. Okay, I have it.
Starting point is 01:15:23 But even if I did, let's just say I did, right? Let's just say we had... Let's just say the traditional dish was a bunch of fish. And I ate a bunch of fish on Saturday at mom's bake-off. And then my cousin or whatever is doing another bake-off on Sunday. And it happens to be a lot more fish. I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Haven't you ever had leftovers? Oh, that's what I was just gonna say. You're just eating the same thing. I was just gonna ask, and maybe this is like, I've been doing Spotify polls. And maybe this is the Spotify poll question. Is it rude to bring a takeout little container with you when you go to family's house for a big meal like this?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Cause there's always leftovers. And if you didn't finish your stuff and you wanted to take it home for lunch the next day, is that rude and weird? Because I hate wasting food. And at my family, this would not be weird. People would be like, let me send you home with stuff. That's different.
Starting point is 01:16:18 But don't bring your own, don't assume. I don't think so. I think it's absolutely weird. It could be tacky. I don't know if it's like rude, but it could absolutely be interpreted that way. Yeah, like, do you assume? I would just not.
Starting point is 01:16:33 Yeah, I would just skip that. If they offer it and you take it, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but like, I would skip bringing your, leave your Tupperware at home. Leave the Tupperware at home. I just thought, no, I'm not gonna go there. I wanna hear it.
Starting point is 01:16:48 You can cut it. I just keep saying like, oh, I've seen this video. I need to get off TikTok. It's scrambling our brains. It's so bad. But it was a video of two guys arguing and he was like, oh yeah, I brought my Tupperware. And the guy goes, I've seen that.
Starting point is 01:17:03 Tupperware? He goes, it's Tupperware. And he goes, no, it's Tupperware. It was just this little. I've seen that, yeah. It's the guy from Impractical Jokers, one of them. I love him. But it is for the record Tupperware, right?
Starting point is 01:17:13 Okay, I am not using any plastic food containers anymore though. Why, because of the BPA or whatever? I went to IKEA, yeah, IKEA. And they have really nice glass containers, all sizes, all sizes, you guys, the best sizes. Great sizes. You sound like Donald Trump.
Starting point is 01:17:32 No better size, this country's never seen better sizes. And it's got a bamboo lid. Why though? Tell us why we should abandon the plastic. I just don't like the plastic leaching. There's a study now where they were trying to test the level of microplastics in people's blood and bodies and whatever.
Starting point is 01:17:51 They couldn't even find a control group of people that didn't have microplastics. Wow. And a big part of it too is it's in our water now. I heard your laundry detergent and washing certain clothes items, a lot of the fabrics and the fake fabrics we use can have microfibers that get into our water.
Starting point is 01:18:11 It's just so crazy. So I'm just trying to like, I know, you know, I'm gonna get fucked up at some point. Like I already have health issues, but it's like, I'm just gonna try to do the best I can. And I really like the glass. I feel like my food has honestly saved better too. I believe that for sure.
Starting point is 01:18:27 And it looks very nice in the fridge. If you're about an aesthetic fridge. I can picture it. It feels like it's beautiful. I'll show you. Yeah, let's check those baddies out later. And it's pretty affordable. Good, best part.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Yeah, and I love IKEA. Affordable, sustainable and aesthetic. Nothing better. I love IKEA and you can order online. They have them online. Perfect, link in bio. Use code D, just kidding. IKEA could sponsor.
Starting point is 01:18:51 I've been to IKEA six times in the past three weeks. You love IKEA. I love IKEA. You love IKEA and Costco. So much. It's a big, what are they like, wholesale retailers? Yeah, kind of. You're a big wholesale girl.
Starting point is 01:19:03 Except IKEA, you can stop raising the prices now. Oh, have they been raising? Oh God, it's criminal. Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Article. Summer is here, you guys. It is warming up and one thing I'm gonna be doing is spending the most time outside that I possibly can.
Starting point is 01:19:22 And let me tell you, my outdoor space is not ready. And if yours isn't, that's where Article can come in and help you make the space you've been dreaming of. They've got everything to make that outdoor space your own and comfortable and cozy and just perfect for spending quality time with your family in. From outdoor sofas to dining sets to smaller decor, Article has you covered.
Starting point is 01:19:43 I am obsessed with everything I got from Article and you're gonna see these chairs that I've been sitting in all week in the studio and the compliments I've gotten on them. I mean, everyone is obsessed. They're comfortable, they look great. They're amazing chairs. And my whole experience with Article has been incredible.
Starting point is 01:19:59 From the ordering online being super easy to the delivery guys that came, set up my items for me, took all the boxes with them. They were incredible and so kind, efficient. I mean, the whole experience has been an absolute dream. And Article has something for whatever style you are. They've got mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, scandy and boho.
Starting point is 01:20:19 And because of their online only model, they've got prices that don't leave you feeling bad either. And after someone that has spent the past month building a studio space and looking at furniture, Article is pretty budget friendly. If you wanna check out Article and get something for yourself, Article is offering our listeners $50 off
Starting point is 01:20:37 your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com slash THT. And the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com slash THT for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. One last one, and it does come with a little bit of an update, but it's some girly drama. The girls are fighting.
Starting point is 01:20:58 The girls are fighting. Okay, let's hear. Okay, so this one is titled, am I the asshole for how I responded to a friend at my friend's birthday dinner? Oh my God, this reminds me. Of what? I had like a chaotic birthday dinner a couple of years ago
Starting point is 01:21:14 and someone- Was I there? Yeah, and someone brought it up recently and they were like, Alondra, you realize it's like, no, no, no, I was like, I don't know. Wait, what happened? I'll tell you later. But was it me in Scottsdale, the hotel? No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:21:30 It was dinner a couple of years. It's not that serious. We'll talk about it later. We'll get into it after this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause people are gonna be like, I want the tea now. Okay, so hello, I'm a part of a friend group of five girls, all 20 to 22 year olds.
Starting point is 01:21:43 We live in Europe and this post is translated to English. My friend A had her birthday dinner with the group yesterday. A's friend B is 22 and a stay at home mom. I'm a university student. Yesterday, when B arrived late, she looked at me and said, quote, you look like shit. Not very nice, but true.
Starting point is 01:22:04 So fair enough because I really looked like shit. Why? I have a lot of courses that I have to attend and I cannot delay them. The exams are coming. I am studying for more than 90 hours per week without counting the lectures. I am also working, although only three hours a week
Starting point is 01:22:21 with preparing at home for at least two more hours. I am stressed and I fear that I cannot pass these exams. I kind of developed insomnia due to the stress. So I have not slept for the last three to four days. Oh my gosh. And you can see it in my face. Oh my gosh. I'm starting to think that if I die right now,
Starting point is 01:22:39 at least I don't have to do the exams. But I think I will feel better again after the exams. Oh my. This is a grad school. Is she okay? This is a grad school. We need to check, someone do a wellness check. We get an update.
Starting point is 01:22:51 Okay. I'll leave it there. Okay. I did not even want to go to dinner because I just have so much to do. But I care about A, so I went. Wow. Good friend.
Starting point is 01:23:00 I said, yeah, I am tired from studying. She laughed and said her usual mantra, quote, you don't know what tired is. I have three kids. Talk again about it when you also have three kids. Oh, fuck you. You could have at least put on some makeup. Oh my, I want to fight this person.
Starting point is 01:23:20 Girlies are fighting. The girlies are fighting. Now, I don't really know what happened to me because we are all used to this kind of comments from her, but I snapped. I told her exactly how tired I am. I told her that she isn't the only one tired and that her gatekeeping being tired is annoying
Starting point is 01:23:37 and also shows what a selfish person she is and that being empathetic for one time would not kill her. I followed by saying that I am without a doubt more tired than her since all of her kids are out of the house for 10 hours a day, good daycare since her husband has a good job and all she has to do is cleaning and not even cooking because her husband does this.
Starting point is 01:23:57 Moreover, she has her mother-in-law taking care of night duties because she and hubby are too tired. She told us all of this herself. While I have to clean and cook and do all of it by myself, I think at the end I was kind of screaming because when I looked around, people were staring at us. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:24:14 She asked A if she had anything to say and after A didn't say anything, she told me I was a childish bitch and to go to hell. She then left. I think A was just too shocked to react. After that, I started crying and I immediately apologized to A for ruining her birthday dinner.
Starting point is 01:24:31 A was kind and told me to not worry about it and that she would have a chat with B later. The other girls messaged me after we left saying that I had to apologize to B, that I was insensitive to her struggles and that it was not okay to bring her, quote, home situation to the discussion. I wrote this during another sleepless night
Starting point is 01:24:51 and I'm only posting this now because I still don't know if I was in the right for responding like that. I mean, I still ruined A's birthday dinner and I could have just ignored the comment. Were you in the right? Not necessarily, that wasn't the best response. However, I think that girl, I think B deserved it, sorry.
Starting point is 01:25:17 B needed a clap back. B needed a rude awakening. B needed someone to stand up to her. That is like gatekeeping tiredness. Like I love the way she put that. Why, are you the only one allowed to be tired? I'm confused. Is there like a finite amount of tiredness
Starting point is 01:25:34 in the universe and you need all of it? Why can't two people exist and be like, Morgan, I had a shit week. Ale, I had a shit week. Let's bond over it together. Shitty weeks. Hey, let's go. Why is it that no, no, no, Morgan,
Starting point is 01:25:48 your week couldn't have been shittier than mine, couldn't have been, you've got too many resources. It's weird. What the hell? What the hell? I would have reacted the same way as you can tell. Yeah, I don't get it. And having three kids at 22, insane.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Impressive. It's a lot, that is a lot to take on. For sure, three kids is a lot. You're tired, two kids is a lot, like one kid is a lot. But at the same time, that was her choice. And then for these other girls to chime in and be like, you can't bring her home situation into it. Why?
Starting point is 01:26:20 Why not? She brought mine saying I look like shit. My home situation, my life situation is the whole reason I look like a tired, disheveled piece of shit. Your, that is arguably your home situation. It's the same thing. It's a product of your environment. It's their life.
Starting point is 01:26:35 It's their two lives. My home is my career and my job and my livelihood and my structure and my schedule. Your home is kids and daycare and a nanny and your husband. Both are homes. Both are home lives. Neither one has precedence over the other. Neither one is better than the other.
Starting point is 01:26:54 They are just different. You cannot compare them. So one is tired from an external set of factors that are different from your external set of factors and you're both allowed to be tired. Why is it a bake off? No, it's not. It's just stupid.
Starting point is 01:27:09 Like grow up. This girl seems like the friend that it's like, she always has to have like the bigger problems. She always has to be like the bigger victim in a situation. She's always more wronged. There's people like this that I've known. It's just like, aren't you tired? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:26 You're flexed. Like, okay, pop off girl. You're right, your life sucks more. Let's move on. Is that what you want me to say? Yeah. For what? Those people, I don't agree in the way
Starting point is 01:27:41 she did that at a birthday dinner. That's actually funny because when I was referencing earlier, it's kind of similar to this. Okay. There's a time and a place. You say yours, I'll say mine. Okay, so my birthday dinner a couple of years ago, the one that Brett like surprised me with,
Starting point is 01:27:54 which was a great birthday dinner. Yeah. There was just a lot of chaos ensued. The sushi. One person got mad about their positioning in the group photo and then they were... Oh my God, I totally missed this. And they didn't want to be the big person.
Starting point is 01:28:06 Oh, that was me. No. I thought that was me. I don't want to single people out. It wasn't. It wasn't. That's usually me. And then that person was upset.
Starting point is 01:28:14 You were like, shut the fuck up, we're at a birthday dinner and then they got more upset. And then you guys were kind of going at it. And then we got to like wallies and then people got you drunk and then... Oh yeah. And then it's two people like Irish goodbye and then people were like, you don't do that at birthday dinners. Especially at wallies.
Starting point is 01:28:33 And then one wandered off to go talk to like God. It was just like very chaotic. Yeah. And to be honest with you, I actually thought nothing of it because I'm like, it's my friends. You know, it's my life. You know, it's like another day, another day. It's just me yelling at people.
Starting point is 01:28:44 Right. No, no, no. You weren't even yelling. You were just like trying to check them. And then my friend who was there who doesn't hang out with us as much. Yeah. More of an outsider. But yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:55 Yeah. She was like, wait a minute. You realized like that was like really unhinged. And I was like, really? I was like, that was like really normal. Yeah. No. The Irish goodbye was rude as fuck.
Starting point is 01:29:04 Yeah. It's rude. And I talked to those people. They know that I wasn't happy about that. No. Anyway. I didn't remember the picture thing until you mentioned it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:13 It was always your birthday. I was going to say like this story kind of gives what happened in Scottsdale on your birthday trip. Not really. Well, so I'll tell the people because they're going to want the tea. I don't know. Do they? Are they sick of hearing about our tea?
Starting point is 01:29:26 I don't know. So it was all Hondra's birthday and we decided to go to Scottsdale. And it was the weekend after like I took my board exam. So I took my board exam Wednesday and I think we flew out for your birthday Thursday. Before I took it Thursday and we flew out Friday. It was really close. We flew out the next day after I took my occupational therapy boards. I had gone three weeks of not sleeping, not eating, sitting at my dining room table, studying
Starting point is 01:29:53 for like 16, 18 hours a day. Like it was nonstop grind, three weeks. And so after that, like I didn't really even sleep that night because you're just like coming down from those jitters. We have early flights, whatever. So all Hondras like so gracious, she gets this house. Pays for the whole Airbnb. There's like three bedrooms and then there's like a pull out sofa.
Starting point is 01:30:18 Enough sleeping space for everyone. And this is like the hard part. And this could be a fucking, a whole nother debate on its own. But when you're traveling in a big friend group and there's couples and then there's single girls. Which I will never do that again. Like in hindsight, that was a bad idea. It's really hard.
Starting point is 01:30:36 But it's kind of this thing where it's like, is it automatically assumed that then the couples would get beds. And I was, I think I was like, I was definitely the first one in Arizona. But then we stopped and like went to the liquor store for people or something. So I don't know, we get there and we were all just kind of putting our stuff places. No one really decided on a room except like, obviously you got the master primary bedroom. Sarah and Dynel took a room cause they walked in the house first, whatever. And so I show up, you know, a little later and just put my stuff down.
Starting point is 01:31:10 Justin flies in later that night, goes back to the house with a girl at the same time cause like their feet hurt. Two girls. Two girls. So their feet hurt. Like they wanted to get different shoes and Justin was flying in from the airport, met them there and then they all Ubered back to the bar together. As Justin's there, this girl proceeds to be like, well, Justin's asking.
Starting point is 01:31:30 He's like, well, where should I put my stuff? And she gets like kind of sassy and she's like, well, probably that room because I know Morgan's going to take that bed. Like she gets what she wants. Well, like making these passive aggressive comments and I like, he comes back and says that to me and I'm just like, why are you like talking shit about me at the bar? Yeah, we're at the bar. And I'm just like, I go up to her and I'm like, why are you talking shit about me to
Starting point is 01:31:51 my boyfriend? Like I was like, I'm fucking tired. I haven't slept in weeks. I'm tired. And I just like, knowing her, I was like, you're going to be up late. You're going to be partying. I'm not, I want to go to bed now. So I was just like so over the situation.
Starting point is 01:32:05 I literally went back to the Airbnb, picked up my shit and got a hotel room because I just needed sleep. I was so sleep deprived and fucking out of my mind, just tired. And so we stayed at a hotel, great night's sleep, back out of the next day, going to brunch. It was fine. But it turns out she ended up having guys back and stayed up. No, they didn't bring guys back.
Starting point is 01:32:28 They went stayed somewhere. Oh yeah. They did something where they were, they were up until like 430, 5am. They watched the sunrise and they didn't even come back to sleep in that bed. It was like for nothing. And I'm like, all right, like why? Why did you, I knew you were going to do that and like all I wanted was sleep. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:46 But it worked out. I mean, it's fine. But it's, it's just like these friend dynamics and it's like, well, it's hard because it's like, do you say anything or do you not say anything? Yeah. It's my birthday. So it's like, do you want to like bring that up at the bar, but at the same time it's like, it's an imminent issue like he needs to be addressed.
Starting point is 01:33:02 So it's like, it comes back to the story. There's a time and a place, but sometimes it's just like, you got to do get out right there. Dude. Well, and then like it's hard. Like there's no mention of alcohol, but like alcohol. Oh yeah. Heightened things.
Starting point is 01:33:13 Heightened things. I had no idea this was going on. I was over like, I don't even know what I was doing over in the corner. Yeah. Partying. It didn't affect you. Like this. It didn't affect you.
Starting point is 01:33:23 No, because I didn't know. And then all of a sudden I look over and I'm like, why are people beefing over the love of Avicii? I can hear a little bit of banter over there. No. I needed sleep and it's crazy because sleep deprivation can be so much worse than anything else. Like they use sleep deprivation to torture people.
Starting point is 01:33:42 Oh yeah. Driving a car while you're tired is sometimes worse than driving drunk. That's crazy. You do become like inebriated. You are messed up. Like sleep is so crucial for our brains and there's, there's this part of your brain. It's the arachnoid villa, I think. Okay.
Starting point is 01:34:00 It's essentially like the washing machine of your brain. So it cycles like your cerebrospinal fluid and it does that when you sleep. It's an essential part of your body. It helps all of these other functions and it does that when you sleep. So like not getting sleep, you get fucked up. There's so many things that go wrong when you don't sleep. If you want to know how someone's doing, don't ask them how they are. Ask them how they're sleeping.
Starting point is 01:34:25 Oh, that is so true. Yeah. You were struggling for a while. Oh yeah. I was eyeing your gummies. I was good. You could take some gummies home. I've been, I'm struggling so bad.
Starting point is 01:34:35 I don't know what to do. You've been like waking up with like night sweats. Not lately. Okay. That's good. But no. Yeah, it's better. I'm having like, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:34:44 We'll talk later. I've had weird nightmares lately. Like I'm so apocalyptic. Sleep paralysis. Yeah. Oh my God. Your sleep paralysis was so, the one you texted. So scary.
Starting point is 01:34:52 Oh my God. I had two. If anyone out there has sleep paralysis, I get like the demon ones, like the hallucinations and they're so scary. Oh my God. Well, if you have any tips for how Alejandra can deal with that. There's like not. So I've been told recently.
Starting point is 01:35:05 Someone said it's like a certain position you sleep in. That can be. But like up until recently, there's actually not. So I've always been fascinated by dreams and REM, like rapid eye movement, REM sleep and sleep paralysis. Because I've had, I've suffered from sleep paralysis for years. It's typically associated with people who are in REM longer, REM sleep. It can like only happen when you're in REM or something like that.
Starting point is 01:35:29 But I was trying to do research on it because I'm like, why is this happening to me? And I've found that there's not a lot of research around it because no one has really cared. That's surprising. But recently, now they're finally starting to look into it and they're learning more. So it's kind of like unfolding. Maybe you should do a sleep study. I've actually thought about that. Don't be really cool.
Starting point is 01:35:46 I think I'm like a perfect like, what is it called, subject. Yeah. Yeah. Specimen. You should. Yeah. It'd be so interesting. I totally would because I have such weird sleep situations.
Starting point is 01:35:57 No, poor thing. Yeah. I know. We got into our own job. Holy shit, we're so bad. I'm so sorry. The girlies be fighting. Sorry, guys.
Starting point is 01:36:06 All of us included. Yeah. Not the asshole, be conditioned out, but can't take it back. Had she kept her rude comments to herself like she should have, she wouldn't have been embarrassed like she was. Yep. Why can you dish it out? I don't think anything that the girl said was offensive.
Starting point is 01:36:19 Well, okay. I take that back. I take that back. Some of it was a little abrasive and harsh and offensive, but I don't think it was like out of pocket. She wasn't calling her like a whore. No, she was like, why are you gatekeeping? Tired.
Starting point is 01:36:33 Being tired. You have all these resources. Yeah. Like what? In fact, I think my situation actually is worse than yours. Yeah. Like don't talk to me until you have three kids. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:45 You look like shit. Just because you have children doesn't mean that another person isn't struggling or more tired or worse off. Yeah. Exhaustion takes many forms. Kids don't equal shit life. Yeah. You don't know what you're trying to imply with that.
Starting point is 01:36:59 Yeah. Like don't talk to me until you have three kids. Also. Some people can handle three kids. Yeah. If you can't, just say it. Yeah. Some people have eight kids and they thrive.
Starting point is 01:37:08 Yeah. I mean, it just, it's the way cookie crumbles sometimes. Yeah. I agree. Being a parent is hard. For sure. Without a doubt. It is hard.
Starting point is 01:37:17 But like you have great help by the sounds of it. You have a lot of resources. You have, we can say this comfortably. You have more resources than the average mother has. I didn't even know kids could go to daycare for 10 hours. That's a long time. A night nurse and a husband who's willing to cook and clean for you. That's a rare circumstance.
Starting point is 01:37:33 Wow. Ask, pull 10 women and ask them if they have all three of those resources at their disposal. A lot of them don't. Okay. For the update, not many people were interested in my conflict, but I still want to update for a few people that cared enough to comment. I was judged, not the asshole. And some comments really helped me.
Starting point is 01:37:51 A special thanks to know I won't install the app. That's a great name. Even my friend A, I called her and apologized again for yelling and ruining her birthday dinner. She said that I did not ruin anything and that she should have put a stop to B's actions long ago. Good friend. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:08 She also told me that I was paranoid as always and that I did not yell, but just raised my voice a bit and that it was normal that the table next to us seem invested in our discussion. I would be. Fair. I insisted on taking her out to dinner just the two of us after my exams and we went and had a great time. We are both in no contact with B and low contact with the other girls. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:38:31 So, okay. He's out. Okay. Regarding my university problems, I contacted my teacher. He was as useful as always and told me that I should continue to do my work, meaning all the work, and that he would ask his superior for help. I did not hear back from him before my presentations. So I think a lot of comments on the original post were like, girl, you got a time management
Starting point is 01:38:53 problem. Yeah. If you're studying for 90 hours a week. Yeah. Like how many hours are in a week? 24 times seven? Yeah, but you're not really using all 24. You just leave.
Starting point is 01:39:04 So you're awake 16, 16 times seven? Sure. What's 14 times eight? That seems easier. 10 times eight's 80. 4 times 8, 36, 116. 112. Okay.
Starting point is 01:39:15 I was close. Yeah, you were. Pretty good. Look at the fists. The fists. I was like, Arthur fistiness. She's like Arthur fisting. She's like four fours.
Starting point is 01:39:23 That's what happens to my brain. Four plus one is two. Three plus three is six. What the fuck is that? Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm brutal. Okay.
Starting point is 01:39:31 So people are just trying to be like, what are you doing? An OP did respond. Yeah. It was like, I have these group presentations and none of the group is participating. It's only me doing all the work. I can't not do the work because then I'll fail like blah, blah, blah. At that point I was angry and bitter of all the work I had to do. So I said, screw them and signed everything with my name only and presented alone with
Starting point is 01:39:57 my colleagues standing next to me completely silent. I repeated several times that I did everything alone and told my teacher that I sent him an email with proof of this email screenshots, et cetera. He said he had not seen the mail yet. He asked the others if it was true that I did everything alone and the three of them actually tried to lie after I told the teacher I had proof. But the last one, I will call him boy, said the truth and apologized to both me and the teacher.
Starting point is 01:40:25 Boy took me out to lunch after the presentation, apologized again and explained that he was quote, like stuck in a mental coma after a traumatic event that occurred to him and that I snapped him right out of it. Wow. When I told the teacher about all the work I had to do alone, his words. He told me that he was thinking about quitting his studies because he was so behind, but I managed to dissuade him and we now regularly meet up and study together. I love.
Starting point is 01:40:53 We have become good friends and he will be back on path with his studies in about a year hopefully. Oh, wow. I passed all of my exams, but the colleagues failed all of them. The three other colleagues are currently facing some trouble with the university for fraud slash cheating since they continue to claim that they worked on the exams and will not back down with these statements. My teacher is confident that they will be expelled over their stubbornness.
Starting point is 01:41:17 Oh, wow. Boy is okay as he admitted everything and just failed the exams. I can sleep again. I am happy. This is all. Thank you all again. Wow. Great update.
Starting point is 01:41:30 Karma works out, right guys? That worked out really well. Yeah. B is a B. Yeah. Sure. But you know, sometimes situations like that need to happen because you just realize like, you know what?
Starting point is 01:41:45 This is not good company. We're not friends. No. We're too fundamentally different here. And some people just don't mesh. I think that when I think about that, I think about the guest episodes where there was a thread on the last YouTube comments and people were like, oh my God, Lauren, amazing. I hate the guest episodes.
Starting point is 01:42:04 And then it was just like comment after comment, kind of like dog piling on the guest episodes. And I even comment on the thread. I was like, this makes me feel terrible. Yeah. It's just like, because it's like you're invalidating all my hard work by saying that. And I just kind of said, I was talking to someone about it, just kind of like venting. I'm like, you're not going to like everyone. We are so diverse.
Starting point is 01:42:24 But can you like maybe listen and gain further insight into how you feel about these topics? Can you have a conversation with who you're listening with? Yeah. Is it going to be your favorite person? No. Are you going to go out of your way to engage with their content? No. But I don't know.
Starting point is 01:42:42 It's just interesting. And then people were like, well, I love Sarah a shower and I love Drew. And I'm like, so you don't hate all the guests. You just don't like certain guests. And that's okay. Not everyone in this world is meant to be friends or mix or jive together. Like there are just certain personalities that aren't going to get along. And that is okay.
Starting point is 01:43:00 Life is about finding your people. Bottom line. I agree. And just being a good person so karma doesn't bite you in the ass. Yeah. Exactly. That is all I got for this episode. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:43:16 Perfect, perfect, perfect. So with that, I wish all of you the best karma. The best. I hope only good things come to you. But the only way to get there is to put out good things. Very good things. Energy, what is it? Where attention goes, energy flows.
Starting point is 01:43:36 So focus on the good, channel the good, be good, put out good. Good will come back to you. It might not be instant, but it will come back. Yeah. Absolutely. Be a good person. Also, I got my tarot cards read in one of our group therapy sessions on Patreon recently. And I'm like thinking about my life.
Starting point is 01:43:55 And one was like about creativity and this new studio space. And because I specifically asked about the studio space, I'm like, I'm going back to the beginning of this episode thinking about my stolen packages now. And I'm like, the other, the second card I got was like, she who revenges or avenges. I can't remember which card it was and I'm now I'm thinking, I'm like, this is my revenge era. You think you're in your revenge era? I think I'm going to get these packaged thieves.
Starting point is 01:44:23 I think that's why I was kind of a little feisty on the stories today. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Firey. Do you have them?
Starting point is 01:44:34 Do you do it? I'm going to order some cards. I don't really... You have to learn. You have to like... That's an undertaking. Yeah. Well, Martina, our amazing tarot card reader on the Patreon, she's like, she said they
Starting point is 01:44:45 come with a little book and so you don't like have to memorize what each card does. True. You just kind of have to know like... That's true. How they work. You can also Google it. And you interpret. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:55 Not to discredit the wonderful tarot readers. No, some people got it down like a book. But you know what? I do really appreciate and enjoy a tarot reader. Like I would like to do it that way because they always... Sometimes the card doesn't make sense and you're trying to figure out like this doesn't resonate. Oh, like getting the death card and you're like, yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:10 And then you go read the meaning and you're like, oh, but then the tarot card reader interprets it and they're like, they ask the right questions. And then they're like, no, this is how it applies. It's just not on its face. It doesn't seem like it does. Then they get you. They help you bridge the gap. So...
Starting point is 01:45:24 It's so cool. I want that. I don't want to just do it myself. I do a lot of fun stuff like coming up for group therapy. Like I want to get like an astrology person and like evaluate sun, moon, rising signs. So it's going to be a good time over there. Love. I do.
Starting point is 01:45:38 I do want to join. It'll be really good. It'll be really good. Okay. But that's all I got guys. Be sure to check Spotify. If you're a Spotify listener for the poll. But other than that, head over to Patreon.
Starting point is 01:45:49 There's always good stuff over there. And until next time. Bye. Bye. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:46:29 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:46:37 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:46:45 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:46:53 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:47:01 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:47:09 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
Starting point is 01:47:17 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Colorado.

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