Two Hot Takes - 135: Etiquette Blunders.. Ft. Help I Sexted My Boss

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-hosts Jordan and William from Help I Sexted My Boss! This episode features stories that have us analyzing the writers etiquette and determining whethe...r they made a blunder or not. Were these just careless mistakes or rather intense etiquette faux pas?!  Checkout William and Jordan's Podcast!! https://www.youtube.com/sextedmyboss Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Buffy: Get 25% off your first order at https://www.buffy.co with code THT. Thank you to Buffy for supporting the channel! Babbel: Babbel.com/tht Skims: Skims.com !! Let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and select our show. Thank you! NextEvo: NextEvo.com and use Promo Code: THT to get 25% off!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Just your reminder to subscribe. Thank you. Okay. Too much blotting powder. Oh my god, look at your notes over there. No, it's okay. I know it's so, but if I lose my trailer for, I always write a little stuff now. That's good. I'm so geeky.
Starting point is 00:00:16 It's sort of weird because now I can sort of spin up being at the opticians. It's literally a spot with sort of there. I know we're all going to go cross-hide like trying to see each other. Oh yeah, it is. Are you guys ready? We're ready. Okay, I'm so excited to have you guys here. We are delighted to be here. Oh my gosh, your voice I just can't I can't go on. I have about three different slightly different voices depending on my level of interest or excitement But at the moment you're getting quite solid RP English. I hope to hear them all. You also speak RP English. No, I don't speak RP English, so for your listeners I'm from North in England. Okay. So I'm from a very working class town in
Starting point is 00:00:58 Lancashire, near Manchester. You'd say blue collar, as opposed we'd say what. Okay. What's RP? Receive pronunciation. Basically I'm how the BBC sounded when it started. And this is how the BBC sounds now. Well, because you work there now, right? I work for the BBC. I work for the probably one of the biggest stations in the UK. Okay, flex on us.
Starting point is 00:01:21 I know, sorry, Radio One. So you're a big deal. I don't know about that, but Williams, right, when you used to work at the BBC when it first started, you had to go through RP training. So you sounded a bit like this. That was a cute grandma. Hello, welcome to the BBC.
Starting point is 00:01:36 I sound like I'm Marie Childs. Who's that? Marie Child, do you mean Julia Child? Oh, is that the one? The chef. The chef. Yes, that's what you sounded like. The chef. Bon appetit. Yes, that's what you sounded like.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Marie, I think I'm thinking of Marie Calendar plus Julia Child. That's a nice smash up. Yeah. You're going to hate me. My pronunciation, I always forget how to say words, is it vague or bog? That. Bog, I love it. That blows my mind sometimes.
Starting point is 00:02:03 But it's because my Minnesota accent and I try to squash it down. And then I forget how you say things. Yeah, okay. So, I struggle. William is obsessed with America. We both love America. We both visit airquiet law. We, uh, you've been, we both went to Chicago this year, was it?
Starting point is 00:02:17 Uh, no, I went in 2021. And, but don't worry. But we do find it weird how you say, uh, aluminium. How is it? Aluminum. Aluminum, they say out aluminium. How is it? Aluminum. Aluminum. They say. How do you say it? Aluminum.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Well, no, that's a third pronunciation. That's gross. And that's that. We say aluminium. Aluminum. Aluminum. Well, we pronounce every syllable. What do they call an argane?
Starting point is 00:02:38 What argano? Yeah. Saloncho. Is that saloncho? Saloncho. It tastes like soap for somebody. Oh, no, that's coriander. Oh. Oregano versus argano. Yeah, we call Is that cilantro? Yeah, cilantro. It tastes like soap for some reason. Oh, no, that's coriander. Oh.
Starting point is 00:02:47 A regano versus oregano. Yeah, we call it oregano. We could be a little deities. Oh my God, I love these. Well, okay, first of all, I'm so bad about doing this. Thank you, Spotify, for hosting me during my London recordings. I would be screwed without you guys. So I really appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Today, if you haven't recognized their voices already, I'm joined by Help. I sexted my boss. We have William over here, the Prim and Proper etiquette expert, and Jordan, which you have a lot of real life experience. And I feel like you question etiquette all the time. So you have your bestie who helps you out.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah. I listen to the bit about the tea towels. Oh, yes. A ward wedding tea towel challenge. Okay, but like tea towels are just regs, right? Yes, what would you call tea towels in America? A reg. A reg.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Like a Jesus wipe the counter with a reg. Yeah, no, you don't like the counter. Right, don't get him started, Morgan. But yeah, we call them T-tells. And in the UK, we have like a different level of them. You can have like scruffy ones, but you can have fancy ones like royal one with a queen, a late queen's face on and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I just listened to the bit about the queen ducky too. And you were trying to determine if it was respectful to keep the queen ducky or retire it. She is at point of recording. She is still out. But I feel now that we're in the dark. No, the Queen died. But it was a new story. It might have been picked up in America. Okay. And in my bathroom, she is still there. But now I think we've passed the one year anniversary of Queen Elizabeth's death. I do feel that maybe we replace her with a King Charles the third duck. Are they making them yet? Yes, they are. Oh, we announced this on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Okay, I think I can get that far. I suppose. Yeah, we haven't done this in our podcast, but Charles the third ducks are a thing. He's also a royal expert as well. Okay, can you explain what that was? Like, you give etiquette classes to Royals? I give etiquette classes to everybody, and I work with four separate Royal Households in the course of my career, from all over the world. I actually made me five, actually. That's mad, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:04:55 But who's counting my friends? What? Oh my God. And the whole premise of our podcast is, we are really good friends, but we come from two very different backgrounds. Yeah. And we met years ago when I was starting out at the band.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Eight or nine years ago. I think it might have been a bit longer. Yeah, I think so. Is it now? Yeah, maybe 10. I really, I really scrolled back on the back catalogue when I was when I was pregnant. We see you.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Thank you Morgan. It was good. Okay, well, let's let's dive in. Let's do it Okay, so to set us off on a foot, that's going to be good since you are an etiquette expert. We have this first one. It is coming from Am I the asshole? It's about a year old. It is titled Am I the asshole for signing up my girlfriend for a social etiquette class before meeting my family?
Starting point is 00:06:04 It's probably one of ours. Girlfriend and I have been together for a little under three months and we agreed it's time for her to meet my family. For some context, I'm blessed and had a fortunate upbringing. My girlfriend, on the other hand, faced some challenges in her life from a young age, particularly financial challenges. She's a beautiful, interesting person, despite all of the hardships she's faced.
Starting point is 00:06:31 The only problem is that she lacks the manners that my family typically expects from someone I'm in a relationship with. My girlfriend is the less fortunate woman I'm dating. For that reason, I made the effort to prepare her for her first dinner with my family. I got her signed up for an online social etiquette course and thought this was a good idea. However, when I told her, she was absolutely furious. She claimed that I'm, quote, obviously, embarrassed to be with her, and that I should just marry a rich girl instead.
Starting point is 00:07:08 She even accused me of being, quote, just another white privileged guy. To make matters worse, she said that it's racially insensitive of me to feel the need to teach her how to behave. So, am I the complete asshole here? Explanations are more than welcome. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Sounds like Harry and Meghan doesn't age. I know that's what we're living with after in my head. I can't drop the Harry and Meghan by as soon as we get in. Well, you're probably a royal group. B maybe, but I love royal group-wash. Are you a royal, like, are you kind of a royal groupie? A royal groupie. I think it's a royal group watch. Are you a royal like are you kind of a royal groupie? Oh royal groupie Yeah, I'm a royal group B
Starting point is 00:07:48 As in group hair groupie. Oh groupie Yes, I mean I I like the royal family. Yeah, I see the need in Britain for the monarchy versus the alternative They have their flaws. We all do I'm not a lot. I'm you know They don't just have to get out of bed in the morning and I'm excited So there's lots of stuff they do. I'm not a lot, you know, they don't just have to get out of bed in the morning and I'm excited. So there's lots of stuff they do that I don't. What's up me, sorry. You're so popular. No, it's not me. Who is it?
Starting point is 00:08:14 Oh, the etiquette experts phone going off. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh my god, that has never happened. That's not what I was doing on just stir mode. That's so embarrassing. That's all the, he's the etiquette-mo. That is embarrassing. That's embarrassing. He's the expert, his phone's just gonna be so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, It's all the years I've known you.
Starting point is 00:08:30 That has never, it's usually made. It was Queen Kimela. I'm so sorry. Oh my God. I have mixed feelings on this one because we have quite a lot of people that get sent to our classes that either in this instance, it's partner wants to send a new partner to us. Or sometimes
Starting point is 00:08:52 we have the new partner. So you actually get this like in real life, literally this exactly. We get a lot of and also parents buying for children as well or uncle's and aunts for their relatives. It's a funny, I used to give people etiquette books for an 18th birthday present when they turned 18 and I was 18, I would give them an etiquette book, which is a little bit, actually, when you think about it, it's a bit like, you know, I was like, love flapping the face maybe. But I wasn't giving it to them because I thought that, I just thought, this is really interesting.
Starting point is 00:09:22 I find it interesting. There's loads of useful and applicable tips. You would like this, not with any agenda, but I would say, obviously it's a new relationship. Why did they not realize that maybe the girlfriend wouldn't love this? Or I might have a bit like a proposal, I guess. You kind of sound them out and advance. Would you like this? Yeah. So why did they not do that before they actually booked the course?
Starting point is 00:09:49 That's a good point. But also, if this boyfriend knows all the rules sort of or is fortunate to be in his words, have a nice upbringing. Why can't they do like an internal etiquette course just between the two of them? Or do it together and like talk about it like make it a couple activity Because like even if he knows this stuff, you know, maybe he doesn't know everything or maybe he can then be like Okay, well my family doesn't do that so don't worry about that part of it So I feel like it might have been a better couple activity versus hey, I signed you up for this I agree. I think he should not have signed her up to an online activity
Starting point is 00:10:24 especially without telling her. He should not have put her on that course. And also, he's going to make her feel really uncomfortable now when she goes around to visit his parents. She's going to feel really uncomfortable and annoyed at him. And they should love her for her. Yes, it's close. As he loves us for her. With all the everything that will be great about her, hopefully, his parents and family will love about her. Maybe what you said though, a few tips along the way. He could have just said the best way I would have handled this. I said, look, my mum and dad are a bit...
Starting point is 00:10:54 They're a bit posh. They're a bit different to what you used to. And just maybe bring up one or two, three max, top rules or tips, just say, look, when we're eating dinner, can you just do this? Cause they're really like this or that. But I wouldn't say don't do this or don't say that or don't be like that, cause that's your girlfriend pretending to be so much, she's not.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Yes, exactly. I would say that. I mean, my top tip for anyone in any sort of fish out of water scenario is just if you're ever not sure what to do, just copy what the hosts are doing and if they're doing it, even if it's technically incorrect, they will think it's correct. Yeah. And you can sort of just bluff your way through the meal.
Starting point is 00:11:30 It's not very relaxing. I'll be honest doing that. You're an edge. Best you know what to do. And ultimately that's what I would say etiquette really is, it's confidence. Just so you can go into variety of different situations and you know what to do. And you can focus on building the relationships. But yeah, I think he is a little bit of a, was it an asshole? Was the term, we'd say asshole. Yeah, you used. So, I agree. I think he meant well. He didn't mean it with Nallis and I hope that the girlfriend would
Starting point is 00:11:56 respect that and see that and two wrongs don't make a right. But yeah, I would maybe see if if it's an online course, I'm sure there's another space. He can book on it too, and they can do it together as you say. Yeah. I wouldn't book it on an online course. So incent. Would you go in person or just no course at all? No, course. Oh, you can't change someone. Like, no, you've, with anything, if you want to learn something, you have got to want to learn. If you don't, if you as a learner are closed off, you're not going to want to learn whether it's etiquette, Spanish, or whatever the subject is, you've got to want to learn. If you don't, if you as a learner are closed off, you're not going to want to learn whether it's etiquette, Spanish or whatever the subject is, you've got to want to learn. What would you do in this situation if you were a teacher, you were the etiquette coach and you were teaching them? Oh, her. Well, it's almost impossible. I mean, if it's a group course,
Starting point is 00:12:37 we actually, I could tell, I could share a story if that's not happened on a normal language. Let's do it. Let's go. Which seeing us, this is not within Bristol, or they do have a British citizenship. Hopefully I'm safe in saying. I was doing, I won't say the name of the course, but it was an online at Keke course. Okay. And it was so weird.
Starting point is 00:12:53 We have people from all over the world. First person, they all log on, they have to have their cameras on because for safety and just easier for me as a tutor to see who I'm teaching. One guy in the Middle East does not have his camera on, so I had to send a little DM on Zoom saying, I can do a turning camera please,
Starting point is 00:13:09 which just give you a minute. Yeah. Anyway, he doesn't. I as the host then request, he starts his video. He obviously doesn't know what to do because actually Zoom is actually blocked in the Middle East, so he was actually probably using a VPN to get access to it.
Starting point is 00:13:22 Oh wow. Turned on his camera and he's lying in bed with the doofave for him. Oh no. And I thought, my mind immediately goes to the gutter. Yeah. I'm like, for sure. I don't think he was doing bad. He's just gesticulated wildly with her. I was like, I don't know why. No, but he was obviously on his phone. And I've thought, right, before this gets any worse, I'm going to turn off his camera. Okay. I sent him another message, and he replied with, eventually with, oh, I'm actually in a business meeting
Starting point is 00:13:49 at the moment, I'll turn it on shortly, and I then replied with, I just saw you. We actually just saw you in bed, you're not in a business meeting. I'll pop you in the waiting room, send me a message when you're ready to come back and join the course. He then appeared, dressed, all fine. Everything was fine to the rest of the course. 10 minutes after that problem is sorted out, one of our fantastic other female
Starting point is 00:14:10 candidates from another country was there. She was on a laptop like you have in front of you today. And she was obviously, I didn't realise at the time she was on a glass desk. And she went to adjust the laptop to reach behind to get something. And as she does, obviously the camera angles down, and she's sitting there in a very, in her thong. No. A thong. Yeah, it was a hot day in the UK, but I don't know if she realized that we all saw that.
Starting point is 00:14:35 No, that's like a big thing too on TikTok, where people have been like, yeah, I love remote work and being on Zoom because I don't wear pants while I work now. So that's a thing, but the glass table, oh, no. You couldn't make it out. And you guys don't really have a seat here in a lot of places, so I get it.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Like I feel like I'm just hot everywhere. This is like even this, I'm like this is hot. Yeah, we're, we, we, we're only just starting to get AC now. Yeah. We're thinking about getting it in my house and stuff because it's getting a lot warmer in London. Yeah, climate change too. Yeah, definitely. So the top.
Starting point is 00:15:11 I'm not sure air conditioning helps with climate change either, but no, it's sorry. Double edged sword. Sorry, Greta. So the top comment on this one is you're the asshole. I agree. The peasants have spoken. Info, is your grandmother the queen of England?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Well, it's the United Kingdom and the house being in the 1702, but the Queen's the United Kingdom. Yeah, my gosh. Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is a year old too, so this was probably commented prior to her passing. Well, she was the queen of the United Kingdom.
Starting point is 00:15:43 Either way, they're wrong. But that slightly frustrates me. I appreciate that I have a different relationship with that to get to most people, but etiquette is not just about behaving in the wrong household. It's just about being nice to people. And if you're a human being, you need to be nice to people. Whatever background you are from. Did you write my next comment here? Because it literally goes, the queen of England knows that true etiquette is about making sure that all of your guests feel comfortable. Whether or not they know the proper things to do. Yeah, exactly. God, you are a good etiquette teacher.
Starting point is 00:16:15 And actually, maybe if the girlfriend went to the boyfriends' parents' house, the parents would be fine, I'm like completely fine. Yeah. Maybe the boyfriend is just worried. As I think you worry when you do, whoever you're dating, when you introduce them to your family for the first time, of course you worry, because if you have a normal relationship with your parents and family, you want that validation from your family that they like your part. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Yeah. And the queen and the royal family have met people from all different backgrounds and cultures. Yeah, it's more than any of us put together. So yeah, I agree. He is also. Yeah, it is interesting to, I mean, I'm surprised he included some of the comments she had, like the racially insensitive part. I'm wondering if like they are different races and maybe that is also playing into his paranoia or something like that. Who knows, but I think overall, yeah,
Starting point is 00:17:10 I could have definitely been handled better. And I just, I don't know, it's kind of a weird problem to have, but one, you come across, which I was gonna ask you, what do you find the most common etiquette issue people have? For me, all the silverware really trips me up, but I learned recently just eat from the outside in.
Starting point is 00:17:30 What you're wearing? Yeah, but I'm really weird. I only like certain spoons with certain things. Sometimes with cereal, I feel like people go for the small spoons. I have to eat a ball cereal with a big spoon. I agree. I want a better milk to cereal ratio.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Do you mean like tablespoon, like serving spoons? Yeah. Do you mean because there's teaspoon? I mean, there are 14 different types of spoon, but we won't get that root. They're 14. How many different types of forks are there? 12.
Starting point is 00:17:58 12. Yeah. Wow, I learned the history about the fork recently. Do you know it? Yes. Okay. But tell us, share it with the group more. Oh my God, no, I just watched this crazy YouTube video.
Starting point is 00:18:08 And like forks were like, like the devils utensil. Like it represented the devil and a pitch fork. And I just thought it was, it was really interesting. The history behind the fork. Yes, it's the newest eating implement and control through of them. Yeah, wild. And the Catholic church, band them for many years,
Starting point is 00:18:25 because they thought if you use them as a man, you would gain. Intrary. So we should do a class on Fork, because this would be fun. Fork off. Yeah. Fork off.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Okay, moving along. One of the week's partners is Buffy. Justin is an absolute space heater. Sleeping next to him, I get hot, I get sweaty, partners is Buffy. Justin is an absolute space heater. Sleeping next to him, I get hot, I get sweaty, it is not enjoyable. This is why we actually have separate duvetes. And now, Buffy Sheets. These sheets are super cool to the touch and help keep me and Justin both temperature regulated and actually getting quality sleep. I love these sheets so much. I put them on my bed the night before I was leaving for a big
Starting point is 00:19:05 trip and I literally was debating changing my flight just so I could get another night's sleep in my bed. And I actually love these breeze sheets that Buffy sent me so much I went on and bought the computer with my own money. I am so excited. Buffy seriously has the softest bedding and the breeze sheets set are some of the softest sheets you're gonna try. They're woven from Eucalyptus, making it softer than cotton or linen. And because it's from Eucalyptus, like I said, it's cool to the touch. Which is why it works for hot sleepers, like Justin. One thing I love is that Buffy has a 50-night return policy on all orders, with free shipping on returns and no return fees. So if you wanna try these sheets risk-free, you can. But you might love them and become one of Buffy's
Starting point is 00:19:49 50,000 five-star reviews. Update your bedding with the breeze sheet set by Buffy. Go to buffy.co and use code THT for 25% off your first order. That's buffy.co promo code THT for 25% off. Link is also in the description. Okay, so this next one, I think I'm just gonna get right into it. I'm gonna switch my order up on us here.
Starting point is 00:20:15 So this is actually four hours old. Oh, it is fresh. Like hot off the press. Wow, you can see the steam coming up, which it's so fresh. Yeah, it's coming from our very own two hot takes subreddit. It is titled, Am I the asshole for kicking out my sister after she tried to sleep with my husband?
Starting point is 00:20:37 Ah, okay, I've got initial thoughts here, but let's hear it. I, 33 male, M. Gay, and my husband, 39 male, is bisexual. My husband is what some would call conventionally attractive, and there's no denying he is good-looking. My sister has had a thing for him ever since I introduced them. Something to add is that when our grandmother died, she left the house to me and my sister, but my sister sold her portion to me, and she has no claim to the house because she lived with her husband at the time, she had no need for it. My sister left her husband after he hit her while drunk, and I've been letting her live in our house as it's a six-bed four-bath and we are only two people. I was out the last few
Starting point is 00:21:23 days as my best friend had his bachelor party. My husband called me at midnight saying that my sister just came in wearing lingerie and tried to seduce him in our bed, but he shoved her out and then called me. When I got home, I went straight to my sister and told her to pack her things and her son's belongings and get out. She tried to claim that it was my husband who came onto her, and told her to pack her things, and her son's belongings and get out. She tried to claim that it was my husband who came onto her, but I immediately didn't
Starting point is 00:21:50 believe her, and said she had until the next day to get out. She cried that she and her son would be homeless and that this isn't what family does. I just said, family also doesn't try to shag their brother's husband, and that she should have given that a thought beforehand. She then shifted to the whole divorce card and said she just wants to be close to someone again. I again said that didn't warrant or justify what she did and said she only had one day. Am I the asshole? I don't think he is the asshole there. She definitely needs to be out of the house.
Starting point is 00:22:27 He can't live all under the same roof after that. No. Wow. Oh, it all goes on. I assume they're British as well, because they use the word shag. Oh, okay. It's that kind of British-ish words.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Okay. Six bedroom dals in Britain. They're bougie. Yeah, they're doing all right. Yeah. I would say yes, he's not to the asshole. I would say that he's been perfectly reasonable. I may have extended it to a week to get out rather than a day. I don't know how well the sun is. We don't know that, but I might have said,
Starting point is 00:22:59 let's say the sun was, let's say 12 plus, say, bonzo, the sun is welcome to stay. That's fine. It's got nothing to do with him. That would have been really nice. Yeah. But she can't play the divorce car. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm divorced, and I'm a bit lonely. No, that's not how this works. If you're lonely and you need solace, there are a range of apps and services that you can go on. You don't, what's your phrase you have in the North about don't put on your own doorstep?
Starting point is 00:23:29 Don't shit on your own doorstep. Yes, don't piss where you eat. No, I've got them mixed up. We say don't shit where you eat in the States. Don't piss on your own doorstep. Don't shit where you eat. So, yeah. And she's done that.
Starting point is 00:23:42 So I think the best thing is that she vacates the house. She leaves. She doesn't live there many more. You have some time and some space apart and then you look at rebuilding your relationship because in a few months, I'm sorry, my head was all over the place. I was just out of this divorce. I don't know what I was thinking. You need to rebuild that trust. But I don't think he's the asshole. No. Mm-hmm. And good on the husband for picking up the phone and going, this has just happened immediately, because actually if it was her version of events and the husband had tried to, you know, put the moves on the sister, I'm sure the sister probably would have phoned out. You would have hoved and gone, oh gosh, this has just happened. Yeah. So yeah, good on the husband.
Starting point is 00:24:25 I agree. I, this is just really unfortunate. I'm like, was she drunk? Like, what was going through her head? And I think probably because the husband is bisexual, that was kind of her invitation. Like, maybe I can convince him to leave my brother, which, okay, how did you see this plane out, regardless?
Starting point is 00:24:44 Like, he leaves your brother for you and then either way, the relationship with your brother is completely damaged. Like, you messed up either way. She's obviously lonely and she's got very big issues, but she needs to talk to a professional or find someone else, not a, basically, the family member. Yeah. Yeah, that definitely not the also adult. or find someone else not a, basically, a family member. Yeah. Yeah, definitely not the asshole.
Starting point is 00:25:07 No. Yeah, the top comment on this one, she could have downloaded an app and gotten various levels of strange if she wanted, but no, she had to hit on your husband. Do you mean doing your research? Yeah, just spot on. I was asleep for a while ago, so I have not done this. Not the asshole. Keep the child if he is old enough to take care of himself
Starting point is 00:25:28 and throw her out, which I think you do make a really, really good point there, William. That would be really hard on the kid, especially the school you're just started, likely for wherever he is. And to try to shift schools just as things are getting underway, I feel like that would be pretty hard on him. Yeah. So yeah. Well there we go. We have one mind. Yeah, look
Starting point is 00:25:53 at this. I love this. Okay. Up next. This one is five days old coming from Amity Ascle. It is titled Amity Ashole for telling my parents and brother that if they wanted his ex removed from my wedding pictures, they had to pay for it. Oh. My brother goes through women like I go through socks. I gave him a plus one for my wedding two years ago. He brought his girlfriend at the time.
Starting point is 00:26:23 When we were doing the family pictures, he wanted his girlfriend in the pictures. When we were doing the family pictures, he wanted his girlfriend in the pictures. I said we could do some with her and some without. He got mad that I allowed my sister to have her fiance in all the pictures, and my other brother was allowed to have his boyfriend of five years, but that I had the audacity to exclude his girlfriend of the week. My parents said that they didn't want any fighting and to just include her. They were paying for everything, so I said fine. She isn't in all of our pictures, just the ones with our family and both families. Now my brother is engaged, and we had the family over last weekend.
Starting point is 00:27:01 His fiance saw our wedding picture on the wall and got into a fight with my brother. He never told her that he had been in a serious relationship with her nemesis. He tried explaining that they only dated a very short time. She called Bullshit because she was included in the family pictures. She asked to see our wedding album. Sure enough, the girl was in multiple pictures with the family and the in-laws. My brother finally calmed her down, but has asked me to take down the picture
Starting point is 00:27:35 or have his ex removed. I said that it was expensive, so if he would pay for it, then maybe. He tried complaining to our parents. They said that I was being childish. I reminded them that they were the ones who insisted I give in to him. I said that they were welcome to pay for the editing. They said I was a jerk and that they already paid for the pictures once. Am I the asshole? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Is he by our hands?
Starting point is 00:28:05 I know. I wish you could see William's face now if you're listening. Go on. It's no. And also, what I would say, I mean, you know me, Jordan, I not want to, to, when eventually I'm proof right, which is always to, to sort of milk that, to then turn around and go, remember the conversation we had at the time, and I said this, and you said the other, and I gave in, well, that's why, that's probably what I would say in this instance, and I'll just say
Starting point is 00:28:36 no. I don't think you need to engage in any further dialogue. It's not a discussion. I'm not paying for them. It's not happening. And I think he sounds quite entitled. And they, the family definitely did the right thing. They know what it's like, so they got pictures with his... Yeah, they did the right thing on the occasion. Yeah, they definitely did the right thing. They got pictures with his plus one. And without his plus one. So, yeah, I don't know what the issue is here. No, it's, and I mean, generous the correspondents
Starting point is 00:29:08 are saying, I will put up a new photograph if you pay for it and you have that photograph dog. Yeah. Fine. I think you don't even need to do that. I shouldn't really. No, I think they do. Every time he's now, now, he honestly comes down, she won't want to see that picture. But do you pay for it? No. No. He should definitely pay for it. He should have turned around and said, look, it's making Newfiance feel uncomfortable. If I pay for it, can you get it edited?
Starting point is 00:29:35 Which is actually done. That's not an extortion at cost, I would imagine. I've used Photoshop editors before, and it's two figures, if that's. I've done this. I edited a girl out of one of my pictures with another friend. Tell me why.
Starting point is 00:29:48 We were not friends and I think she just felt like very awkward. So like she inserted herself in every single picture I took with my best friend. And so I was like, I don't want to post this with her. Like I'm literally not friends with her. Like it was a really bad situation, but I'm mature enough where like I can still be in the same room. And I wasn't going to like make her feel bad in that moment and be like, hey, can you get
Starting point is 00:30:13 on my picture? And I did get like one with my friend, just me and her. But then she was like in the picture, literally like flipping it the bird and sticking her tongue out, trying to like still insert herself. Yeah. So I went on Fiverr and I literally paid like $10 to have her removed. Yeah. If you want, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:35 It's really cheap, like really cheap. And I mean, if you're doing just one picture to like then reframe for your house. And when you say you pay to have her removed, you mean from the photographs? Yeah. From the planets. Yeah. You can't get that service up. No, it's not in the mob. It's not in the mob, I take this.
Starting point is 00:30:52 As far as you know. Yeah, fair enough. You know, there's a big mob presence in Minnesota. Yes. The first rule of costanoshers, you don't talk about it. Is it costanoshers? I don't know. That's fight club.
Starting point is 00:31:02 First rule about fight club, you don't talk about it. Sorry, you've got to make one of my songs next up. Does anyone find it weird that he dated her nemesis? Yeah. Wasn't that like an interesting bit? Also, let's unwrap that there. Why is he never told her that they used to go out? Yeah. They were pretty serious. If you go to wedding someone, you're pretty serious. Yes, I would say. You see, this is where... He sounds like quite a shady character, doesn't he? Listen to our podcast one day that I have never had an ex. I have my husband, but neither of us had a boyfriend before.
Starting point is 00:31:34 Wow. And hopefully after. That's very lucky. Yeah, I don't have experience with O'Darling. This was my ex. Or, so I don't have experience navigating that. Okay. I think, I don't know. I kind of have mixed feelings on it.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I'm like, one, she sounds kind of insecure. Like if I saw pictures of my boyfriend with his ex, like, I'm not, it's in the past. Like, I win. She loses. Like, you know, like that song, I win you lose. But it's like not that we can deal, but it is the fact that it's her nemes lose. But it's like not that we can deal,
Starting point is 00:32:05 but it is the fact that it's her nemesis. So it's like, how did you even meet the both of them separately anyways? Like, did you find your fiance now because a lot of questions. They were nemesis, nemesis? What's the proper English over there? Nemesis.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Nemesis. Nemesis? Yeah, nemesis. That was it. If there's more than one nemesis, nemesis is... What if it's mutual? It's only two people, but they're... each other's nemesis. Are they nemesis?
Starting point is 00:32:32 Yes, I think so. I think I'm gummed to my head. There is a lot's one wrap here. There is a lot's one wrap, but ultimately, I think that if the correspondant wants to sort of be vaguely nice, they can send a link to the Fiverr or whatever service they're going to use and say, look, it's really cheap. Here's the link. Have added.
Starting point is 00:32:52 But they don't used to do any more work than that. I agree. But then again, the other side of it is, why did she, why has she got the picture up with the fiancee and why couldn't she put the picture? Oh, because he's probably in it. Yeah, and it's probably a nice picture of them. Maybe it's, you know, the lighting's great. He, they look great.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Yeah. It's his wedding day. Why does he not want, he wants to look good. I think that's so annoying when people insist on, like having a partner that's fresh in photos. Like, I went to my cousin's wedding recently and we took pictures and it was like, and my mom honestly is the one that kind of pushes everyone in.
Starting point is 00:33:27 I'm like, can I just get one picture with my, just my brothers and like, Amy, they've been married for, you know, 10 years now, get her in, but like, my little brother's girlfriend love you if you're listening, but you're fresh. Sorry, like you're fresh. I hope it works. Like, do a photo with her. Just like mix in all the options Yeah, I don't understand why this girlfriend would or the brother even would be like Well, you're having our sister's fiance and boyfriend of five years like why aren't you having my girlfriend a two months in?
Starting point is 00:33:58 It's like get all the different options. So just in case I think you're right there Morgan, yeah. Like think of the options. Be smart. If you get married here and you've got a brother who plays the field a bit, a bit of a player or a sister or a... Or a whatever. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah. The pronouns are just, yeah, maybe two options. Mm-hmm. I'd also say the new girlfriend's clearly incredibly secure in her relationship with the boyfriend. It seems that way. Mm-hmm. I'd also say that the new girlfriend's clearly incredibly secure in her relationship with the boyfriend. It seems that way. Yeah. Clearly. Top comment on this one.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Sounds like you saw something like this coming and suggested not having her in every picture. He insisted. Now he's trying to make it your problem. Too bad for him, not the asshole. Yeah, agree. Yeah, maybe he's annoyed that she was right. Not as like with siblings. Maybe he's like, oh God asshole. Yeah, agree. Yeah, maybe he's a night that she was right. No, it's like with siblings. Maybe he's like, God, so he's right. Yeah, my brother would probably say
Starting point is 00:34:51 that about me. That's William too. You're a where do you fall in the middle child? Only girl. Yes. So older brother, eight year age gap younger brother, three year age gap. So me and my older brother, we were kind of like both eldest in our own right, but I'm like the only girl. So that kind of adds like another layer I think. Yeah. An extra layer of intelligence.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Exactly, exactly. I feel like the oldest daughter takes on like a big role in a lot of families, a lot of responsibility. Yes, my mother's middle child and the only daughter. Yeah, a lot of trauma to a natural organiser. Yes, potentially. Yeah, yeah, we get it off. And mother daughter relationships are completely different between mum and son relationships.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Aren't they ever? Mum's a so critical of daughters. Oh yeah. But with sons, their son shines out their ass, don't it? Oh my god, my boy. He's beautiful God you are ready for this next story. Okay, you teed it up perfectly. Oh really? You It's like we're all like on a psychic level today. Oh my god. Seriously. Wow
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Starting point is 00:37:27 Okay, so this next one is five days old. It is titled Am I the asshole for allowing my mother to wear white to my wedding, which do you guys have? Okay, I'm like, not maybe quite as much as crazy as America, but it is, it is a thing. It's gone real crazy. It's becoming more of a thing. It's definitely a thing. The brideglaze white, every wedding I've been to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Well, unless it's a second or third wedding, generally, then, bridesmaid. Yeah, what's etiquette with that? You'd wear a sort of a pale pastel color normally. Yeah. Or a pale sage green, very popular. Interesting. Great powder blue.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Okay. Here we go. This started when my mother mentioned to me that she felt sad she wasn't a bridesmaid. I agree that my mother should at least have had some role, at least got her makeup done with the bridal party, just anything. But my now wife just overlooked her somehow, and by the time my mother spoke her true feelings, it was too late to accommodate for an additional bridesmaid. I did ask my wife about a month away from the wedding if my mother could be a bridesmaid,
Starting point is 00:38:33 and my wife said no. She was stressed out, and just didn't want to go through the process of incorporating a last minute bridesmaid, and I understood that. My mother asked if she could at least sing, slash perform, a song to me at our wedding, and my wife and I both agreed to say no because we already paid for a band. When we said no, she asked if she could be incorporated into giving the groom away and walking me down the aisle, but my wife again said no. I felt really bad at this point because my mom wanted desperately to be involved in the
Starting point is 00:39:06 ceremony or in the Brattle Party. We had said no to most of her requests. But when I told this to my wife that we should do something special for my mother, my wife said she felt that we had already included her, by planning to have her in photos, and letting her have a one-on-one dance with me before our first dance as a couple even, though there wasn't going to be a father-daughter dance. Weeks before the wedding, my mother tells me she was expecting this whole time for my wife to pick out a dress for her since she was the mother of the groom.
Starting point is 00:39:41 My mother was crying and upset. When I mentioned this to my wife, my wife got annoyed and said that she told my mother the dress code over and over again, and that if my mother wanted to be involved any further than she was, it was me that would have to do the planning for that, like picking her dress. I didn't want to hurt my mom's feelings. I don't know how to pick a dress even remotely or plan for that. So I just told her the bridal party is wearing neutral colors. The groomsman are wearing beige suits. I trusted her to pick out a dress that met the criteria and was appropriate. Fast forward to the day of the wedding. My wife complained all night
Starting point is 00:40:25 that my mother was wearing white and asked why I would pick out a wedding dress for her to wear. Oh, God. She said that it was humiliating, standing at the altar with me, and four feet away, my mother is wearing a wedding gown. I tried to explain to her that I had no idea what my mother was going to wear, but I honestly don't even think it looked like a wedding gown. I tried to explain to her that I had no idea what my mother was going to wear, but I honestly don't even think it looked like a wedding dress. My wife said everyone at the wedding was laughing at my mother,
Starting point is 00:40:53 which is just flat out mean. At the end of the day, I don't think this was my fault that my mother did anything wrong. White is a neutral color. I feel she could have just picked my mother's outfit herself. Am I the asshole?
Starting point is 00:41:08 Wow. A lot to unravel here as well. It's a bit harsh if I say, is... His mom sounds like a bit of a narcissist. It's that quite harsh. Because basically, I get that his mom wanted to be involved in the wedding,
Starting point is 00:41:24 but what do you always say about weddings because we get this a lot of hard practice. You always say it's not your wedding. Yes. You always say that. It's not your wedding. So like, hey, I've never heard of the mother or father of the bride. Sorry, I've never heard of mother of the bride or mother of the groom being a bride's maid. No, the mother of the groom, the mother of the groom, the mother of the bride. So I've never heard of mother of the bride or mother of the groom being a bride made. No, the mother of the groom, the mother of the groom, the mother of the bride. That was so weird. You never, you never, in a million years going to be a bride made. No. Even if, even if it was her, you don't have your mum as the bride made, you're the mother of the bride. Yeah. So it just
Starting point is 00:42:00 sounds like she wanted to try and interfere and get involved as much as possible and she really wasn't, she wasn't getting the hint. And then this is why I'm using the narcissistic word like she wanted to sing at the wedding. It's like she wanted it to be all about her. It's not your wedding. She's sun, and you daughter-in-laws. So I feel like she's gone out and got a white dress on purpose to piss them off. Yes. Am I being harsh? No, you're not. I think she is having her, her, she wants a look at me, me, me. A great narcissist. And as the mother of the groom, or even the mother of the bride, you are, you're part of
Starting point is 00:42:36 the key roles anyway. People are going to, to look at you. There's obviously a lot of sort of underlying insecurities coming through here. I would say to the bride, however, so what? Like, if so okay, someone wore white, whether okay, it's annoying that it's another of the groom and not just another guest. So what? Hopefully the rest of the wedding was nice enough.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Yeah, I don't think people, you know, people yes, might have, I went to a wedding a few months ago, one of the guests was in a white dress with polka dot. Things on it. Actually, it didn't clock it. It was a few people that clocked it and said, oh, I think that's appropriate. No.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Are you not meant to wear what? Are you not meant to know? Where are white dress? Why do I just have a wedding? Why do I have to say, don't wear to weddings. Oh, okay. Unless it's like a cocktail, like where they specify, this is like cocktail attire, black is okay.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Like, but I think I've seen a lot of people try to pull white dresses that have like slight floral patterns on it. And I'm like, just don't, no, don't do it. If you, if you're on your little photo app and you drop the pin on that dress and you get white as a color, it's out for me. That's kind of my real thumb. Like, don't do it. But I do agree with a lot of what you're saying, Jordan, because the song and asking to perform
Starting point is 00:43:53 at the wedding, she definitely wanted a moment in the spotlight. And it wasn't even a performance or a song to the both of them. It was a song performed to him, just him. And I think they met her in the middle, so it's in so long. And I think the met her in the middle It was a song performed to him, just him. And I think they met her in the middle, sorry, it's in so long, and I think they met her in the middle by doing a dance before. And also a dance. It's like, what are their dance as a couple?
Starting point is 00:44:13 And all the backwards for there. What? I am, again, I am no psychiatrist, but it sounds totally narcissistic, sorry. There's some really bad boundaries here, 1,000%. I would, you could, but also the other things that you could do, because obviously the dance comes sort of quite late on
Starting point is 00:44:31 into the wedding, ask her to do a reading, perhaps, get her to be a witness if needs be. A speech, give her, like, let her have a speech. That's more normal than a song. Typically, do we know if these are American or not? Because in American weddings, it's sort of almost after the set speeches, anyone can start up and do a toast. And you check them all in. I mean, you go on for hours, whereas we have three, potentially four. And
Starting point is 00:44:57 that's the end of that. Yeah. OP has since deleted this post. Account has even been deleted. I think he was very unhappy with the backlash he got. What did Reddit say? Top comment, you're the asshole. Dude, stop being manipulated by your mom or you're going to have an ex-wife and be back in mummy's pocket. People were pretty pissed about this one.
Starting point is 00:45:21 That is mum, yeah. Yeah, well. I feel bad for her. Do you want to see a picture of her dress? Yes. Yes. Oh, God, yeah. That is mum. Yeah. I feel bad for that. Do you want to see a picture of her dress? Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, God yeah. That changes everything.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Oh, my God, yes. That's a wedding dress. That's a wedding. Her mum's wearing her. She's got great arms. She works out. Well, can I also say exposed shoulders sweating? Is that appropriate?
Starting point is 00:45:38 It what? Exposed shoulders sweating in Britain that would not be correct. Usually at least there's not wrong with that. Have a short. Yeah, you'd have a paschmina or a rosh or a little bit of a cow. I'd think he's muvies in the wrong here, totally. He can completely, absolutely. But I don't think he's the asshole.
Starting point is 00:45:53 I feel sorry for him. He's perhaps being controlled by both women. Can I say that? You can. I, you know, if this were me in the situation, and I knew my mother-in-law was already kind of creating a stir You can, I, you know, if this were me in the situation and I knew my mother-in-law was already kind of creating a stir in my life,
Starting point is 00:46:10 I think I personally would have taken more control over the dress, like the mother-in-law was expecting the bride to pick out a dress for her. And I think like the mother-in-law is probably dealing with this tug of war, of like she's losing her son, wanting to be included, not being included. It's kind of this tough battle. And so the way she was asking to be included wasn't normal.
Starting point is 00:46:35 Like, a mom is not a bridesmaid. That's not normal. But at the same time, like, what she included in dress shopping for the bride, because I know a lot of people do include their mother-in-law's in that. And then that's kind of a time where like, you take that to try on bridesmaid's dresses, you can have your mom's mother-in-law try on mother dresses. And so it sounds like the bride,
Starting point is 00:46:57 because of her relationship with the son, and that crossing of boundaries, she is trying to do the exact opposite and push her out in every way. But still accommodating her somewhat by having that first dance, which is kind of sad. It sounds like her dad is either not involved or has passed. So she's not even having that father-daughter dance.
Starting point is 00:47:20 So for her to be willing to accommodate them and say, hey, you can have that dance before our first dance as a couple. Well, that's weird, but that's unhinged in my mind. Like, that is so unnecessary, but teach their own. I think the moral of the story for everyone here, obviously, original poster has deleted it, and it's a fair, complete, and it's not going to happen. It's happened. Ships sailed now.
Starting point is 00:47:43 They've had the wedding. But for anyone else getting married, involve your parents on both sides or whoever, just even like Fona can tell them, oh, we've done this today. We're thinking this for the flowers. It also depends on who's paying for the wedding in terms of who gets a bit of a saying. That both. And if people are not paying for it or not paying for that specific thing, then they have zero say. But also, what we
Starting point is 00:48:06 learnt when we planned our wedding is that, and actually even friends that chipped in with ideas and things, just sit there and go, oh gosh, I never considered that. Thank you. Yeah, we'll definitely consider that. You obviously then sort of mentally chuck it in there, but just say, don't get too hit up about it and start pushing your own agenda back or pushing what's going to happen. Just literally go white light. Oh gosh, yes, no, I'll definitely tell that to name of bride, name of groom. And that's all you have to say. You did that with me because I wanted to have beer on on tap. Yes. So, you know, do you do that here? Do you do the venue he was at? I asked to say, do they have beer on tap? Because that's been porting at a wedding,
Starting point is 00:48:45 especially when I'm at a wedding. Especially when I'm at a wedding. Oh my God. You want a full pint of beer, don't you? It's out of the tap or it tastes disgusting. Thank you. And they didn't. But you just have wine.
Starting point is 00:48:56 What did you have? A wine, champagne. I mean, it was very good wine. It was a very good champagne, but. Yes, I've got a wedding, just a pint. Yeah. So yeah, a nice etchedron. Oh, I'll definitely raise that with the wedding planner.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah. And he did him. You'd fit in in Minnesota with the weddings there. Yeah, Jeff Beer. Yes, you'd fit right in. But that is interesting. What do you find the most common wedding etiquette rules that get broken to be?
Starting point is 00:49:24 Great question. Like obviously wearing white is like very well-known now. most common wedding etiquette rules that get broken to be. Great question. Like obviously wearing white is like very well-known now. Like that's come up a lot. I would say, oh, I can probably talk about this on this podcast because I can't tell my hours. That's cool. Maybe let's go.
Starting point is 00:49:38 So we had I committed, I don't know if I've told either of you, I committed an etiquette faux pas early this year. I will change names just in case this gets out. For context, our wedding, just before when we were doing invitations, working on who the list was, my parents said, oh, are you inviting Bonzo? We'll use that name. Will we stop using Bonzo?
Starting point is 00:50:00 Are you inviting? I think it. Bonzo and I started touching it like, yeah, okay. For context, Bonzo was, I was best friends with in like year one. Okay. Bonzo and I see each other other people's weddings. That's out of the extent of our relationship.
Starting point is 00:50:14 We have a lovely chat. Don't really have much in common. Yeah. I said, well, yeah, probably because my parents, my parents are friends with his parents. That makes a challenge. And they were coming.
Starting point is 00:50:25 Yes. Okay fine. Like fine. Then a few weeks later we got IW inviting Hilda. I was like who the heck's Hilda? I went bonzo's girlfriend. Like I've never met Hilda. I didn't know who Hilda was. I would know what she looked like.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Even bonzo's a stretch. Yeah. It's a no to Hilda. That was a whole drama. Anyway, we won that. We were not going to invite hilder. No problem. Literally three weeks before we got married, they got engaged, annoying, but whatever invitations
Starting point is 00:50:51 had gone out. Yeah. Banzo and hilder's wedding, early this year. Outcomes the invitation. Oh no. No name written on the invitation. Is it not my name and not my husband's name? Okay. So I was like, is this to me? Because on the envelope was just my name. But I also
Starting point is 00:51:12 stand by the fact not many people know how to address two men or two women living together in a relationship. Mr and Mr. Yeah, I know it's so, so, so, so. Come on. But so many people don't know how to do it. Yeah. Including actually other gay couples that I know they just, they just don't know what to do it. Yeah. Including actually other gay couples that I know, they just don't know what to do. Interesting. And also, etiquette land, what you write on the invitation on the envelope is not who is invited, because if it's like four, if it's some husband, wife and their two kids, you don't put the kids' names on the envelope, but they're often on the invitation because
Starting point is 00:51:39 they are invited or they're not invited to answer. That's true. So back channel, I spoke to a mutual friend and said, do you know if Mikey, my husband, is invited? And I got the response eventually, no. And I said, okay, interested. Well, tit for tat there. Because everyone else's spouse was invited.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Oh, it was, it was purposeful. It was purposeful. Yeah, Bonzo and Mikey have met numerous times. Oh, okay. Including us, how we did it. That's so, and that is so different than... I was, I've then thought, okay, if it's a numbers thing, because you know, people have budgets, etc. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:13 This family have 16 mesorotis, okay, budgets is not a problem. Oh my God. So I thought, well, I don't know that Mike is not invited, because they've been stupid and not put a name on the invitation. So I responded with Willie and Mikey would laugh to attend and pop that in the post. Yeah, I would have done the same thing. And then the moment it went through the post, I literally then wanted to just camp by that postbox to claim the letter of action. I shouldn't have done that and I worried about it.
Starting point is 00:52:39 I think it's so normal. I think it's fine. They made the mistake of not addressing. I've gotten invited to a lot of weddings lately, and already on my RSVP card, it says the name of who's invited. So for me, going to my friends' wedding last fall, it was Morgan Absher and Justin Thunstrom. It wasn't Morgan. Good sen.
Starting point is 00:52:59 Absher plus one, or just Morgan, it was addressed to both. So if it's left blank, I would assume, oh, maybe they didn't know the spelling, I'm gonna write them both in. Yeah. I would have done the same thing. Well, I then, and some friends egged me on to do that. I love this.
Starting point is 00:53:14 And they were like, we want you both there. We want to have fun. There won't be many people there that we know that you should both come at set up. Yeah. But then I thought, well, if I've done that, they could then take their revenge on us on the day and sit us on a completely terrible
Starting point is 00:53:25 table. Or literally not have a space for your husband at all. Yeah. Like they could have made it bad. I then wrote to Bonzo and Hilda and said, I'm so sorry, some workers come in, neither of us are able to actually attend the wedding now. Was that a lie? Yes, sending you all the best wishes, you know, do enjoy the day.
Starting point is 00:53:45 It'll fly by. Good hapiest day of your life. I hope to see you soon. Nice. Still heard nothing. I mean, I've literally to stay here. Really? Do you agree with that if they're not met the plus one, they shouldn't be invited? I think that's a fair. If you have, if you suddenly have got a plus one in your life, and you haven't bothered to sort of kind of Introduce them to your social circle. Fine. You might be busy, but you shouldn't be surprised when they're not invited to social circle events
Starting point is 00:54:12 What if is that for both the pride and groom if they've not met or at least one of them? I think at least one of them has got Okay, yeah, I feel like people especially since covid have really been on the smaller wedding train, like more intimate ceremonies, and then like cost wise too, like I don't want to pay for plates for people, I don't even know. Yeah, no, I think that's definitely true now. I think with wedding etiquette going back to your question about rules, et cetera, I think with etiquette, there is a shift in, I mean, I don't know what it was like for your parents when they got married, but it was probably their parents, your grandparents, who paid for it or organized it.
Starting point is 00:54:51 And I, you know, they always say you never get the wedding until your children get, that you want until your children get it. Or as I think our generation are the generation changing things, go, no, we're paying for it or we're paying for a large part of it or we have specific ideas. And so in effect, it's our parents generation who are kind of a little bit short change because they are never going to get the exact wedding they want. That is so interesting. And I suspect for future generations it won't be a problem because sort of the etiquette
Starting point is 00:55:18 is shifting to, no, it's the couple getting married. It's their day. It's their day. And I think that's also changed with same sex weddings and different religions, et cetera. So it is beginning to change. Yeah, I could see that. My mom actually, she never had like a formal wedding. She got married somewhat recently because her partner had colon cancer.
Starting point is 00:55:36 And so it was this whole thing. But I can already see like my little cousin getting married. My mom wanted to be very involved in like her bridal shower and all this stuff. And I'm like, I literally was like, oh no, she's gonna have a real tough time when I have my wedding because I know what I want. And so it's gonna be a lot of strong boundaries and trying to withhold them.
Starting point is 00:55:58 But something with weddings that I've started to like find really interesting is like, there's so many pre-parties. There's a wedding shower, a bridal shower, and a groom's rehearsal dinner, groom's dinner, whatever they want to call it. Really? It's just an American. It's a creepy area here. Maybe it is, but it's so annoying, at least for me, and maybe I'll change my tune when
Starting point is 00:56:22 I start getting the presents, but I don't even want it. I don't even want to have that many events. There's so many events and you're expected to buy a present for almost everyone. That's a lot of money. Is a bridal shower the same as a Hindu here? No, that's the Bachelorette party. Bachelorette? Oh yeah, you call it that. There's a whole another thing. Bridal shower is something more sedate and all ages can go. Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:45 We have a stagdow and a henday, and then the wedding. Maybe a rehearsal dinner. Do you have engagement parties when the couple first gets engaged? Yes, we do. Okay. But I went through a friend married an American girl, and on the Friday, they had a,
Starting point is 00:57:02 the wedding was on the Saturday, and on the Friday, they all had like a big dinner. Rehearsal dinner, yeah. I was like, oh, is that what that is? I was like, oh, so what, we're all getting to get together tomorrow as well. Yeah, and then you've got nothing to say to anyone today, so it's all about the floor.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. Cut that out, save the money. Save that for the honeymoon. Yes, weddings are expensive. I can save so much money on people's weddings. I, in fact, I should provide a service. I'll charge, so ironically, I can save so much money on people's weddings. In fact, I should provide a service. I'll charge, so ironically, I won't save the money, but I will look through
Starting point is 00:57:31 their wedding plans. Do you really need that? I had a wedding, I had a friend that got married quite recently and literally with that three weeks ago, she sat me down to home. I think we need a magician. I said, you don't need a magician. No one is going to do it. Did she do it? No, I told her, don't you take it. Oh my god. Why would you take that from her William? Because she had all sorts of other stuff.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Yeah. What do you have? Did she have a joggler? A joggler? Yeah, what were we working with? Like, why a magician was it carnival team? She had like an ice cream stand where you went and got your own ice cream.
Starting point is 00:58:00 She had a silent disco and she had speeches and glublar. Honestly, I think she needed the magician. No, see, I have a good friend of mine. I think it was necessary. I have a good friend of mine who's a magician, but you know, when you go to a restaurant now, who do you know that's a magician? A good two magicians. You know two magicians.
Starting point is 00:58:20 Who knows one magician? I wish I knew one. It's all right. When a magician comes up, it's really cool when you're with friends and stuff. When you're eating, and then you don't want to do it. And you're chatting and you're having a drink and then like, hey, you're going to show it, actually.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Honestly, I'm going to disagree. No, come to think of it. There's always, anytime is a good time for a magician for me. I'm not saying that. No, I'm going back on myself. It's quite fun, actually. Yeah. But then when you get really, I do get, yeah, I'm going to shut up.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I'm obsessed with magic. Like in Los Angeles, we have this iconic place. It's called the Magic Castle. And you have to know a magician to get in. Is that a Disney? No. No, it's like right in West Hollywood. It's like one of the oldest private clubs in LA. And I was going to join, but then I found out it was like six grand a year, and I'm like, I can't afford this. I'm gonna, I gotta keep trying to get my free invite. Can you do magic? No, but I'm so, I'm a little gullible,
Starting point is 00:59:15 but I do believe that there are some people that do real magic. Like there's the slight of hand, card, trickster people, but there's other people that I fully believe are magic. Like who? Beyonce. Do you think Harry Potter's documentary? Harry Potter, no.
Starting point is 00:59:32 No. I just watched that on the flight over, actually. Okay, which one, which one? Chamber of Secrets. Oh, nice one. Yes, yes, that one was very good. But no, I think like Chris Angel, like the guy he floated on top of the pyramid in
Starting point is 00:59:45 Vegas, and like there were helicopters flying all around, and like they passed something underneath him. So like, I'm like, he's got to be magic. We've got dynamo here, and he walked across the Thames. That's a big deal. He walked on the water. That was pretty good. Who else? Were there boats going through at the same time? Yeah, think so. He didn't get me an awful thought. A boated over. He's still alive. John Wayne David Blaine was in that boat.
Starting point is 01:00:10 That's the big one. He's pretty magic. Have you had David Copperfield come over? No. He made the statue of Liberty Disappear. Stephen Mulherne's pretty magic. That's a British. I love that one.
Starting point is 01:00:23 He's a TV presenter, but he's also a magician as well. Steve-Halanded magic. Paul Daniels here. Oh, God. Are there any magic clubs here? Yeah, there's one actually near where we record the podcast. It's me, because I go to the gym afterwards in this little magic shop. What, the magic circle? It's a bit like, I'll leave Anders, whatever it's called. I'll leave Anders, yeah. I think it's part of the magic circle. Have you heard of the magic circle? It's a bit like, I'll even does whatever it's called from our agenda. I'll even does, yeah. I can go in. I think it's part of the magic circle. Have you heard of the magic circle? No.
Starting point is 01:00:48 So the magic circle is, I think it's just the British where all the magicians are in this light. It's probably the magic castle equivalent. Okay, I'll go in. The Luminati Club, and if you give away... It's not the Luminati. If you give away L secrets, you get thrown out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:00 So if you show how you do... That's how ours is, too. You can't even take pictures in there. Do you remember that? Oh, that the magician reveals it? Oh, yes When we were kids, there was a program on here was American guy He showed all the like tricks that a lot of magicians than an afterwards Oh, he ruins it ruins it and loads of magicians hated but he was mass So obviously he know him in the finals, he took his mask off.
Starting point is 01:01:26 Did he? Yeah. Oh, I know. What's that? Oh, you know, it brings it all back. That's okay. I need to find this. Yeah. God, wild. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Well, why didn't you do magic? I know. I'm showing a shimachic circle, Jordan. Yeah. That's really good. I feel bad for your friend. She really should have had that magician. I agree.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I'm going to have one at mine now. Just okay. Mine's going to be a hillbilly carnival. I'm getting married. Obviously, I need to get engaged first, but eventually, whatever that happens on my family farm, where actually we're building a wedding venue there now. Building just for you or just for future? For future.
Starting point is 01:02:01 It's kind of my excuse to get married there and have my dream venue. But it'll be a business. Yeah. But I'm like and have food trucks, carnival games, a magician. Be like Glastonbury. Yes. That is my inspiration. Neon Carnival from Coachella is my inspiration. Neon Carnival, is that a particular? It's like an after party. That sounds amazing. Yeah, that's a vibe. If you guys want to come to Minnesota, I'll mail. And I'll be sure, Mr and Mr. Oh gosh.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Yes, put specific. And actually, again, there's top take home content for everyone. Put people's names, not on the envelope, because people throw that out on the invitation. If you want the kids invited, put the kids' names. If you don't want the kids invited, don't put the kids' names.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Skims. I was a big Skims holdout. I didn't want to try it. I didn't believe the hype, but now I'm sad it took me so long. I've never gotten compliments on something more than when I'm wearing my skims. From the fits everybody collection that I initially started with to sculpting body suits, to now their cotton loungewear, you can't go wrong with skims. And it makes sense because
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Starting point is 01:04:03 Plus get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. This next one is where we take a wild turn. It is three years old and titled, Am I the asshole for washing my butt plugs in the dishwasher?
Starting point is 01:04:26 This is more like what we do. This is very, very much like our podcast help I sex in my boss. This is the sort of problems and letters we actually get sent in. Yeah, the beginning was just a warm up. Okay. I 25 female have been living with my roommate, Jason, 27 male for almost two years. I met him through a mutual friend because he was looking for a place to rent and my roommate from before moved out So I was looking for a new roommate and pretty open with my sexuality and with that being said I don't really hide much especially at my own apartment
Starting point is 01:04:56 I made that pretty clear before my roommate moved in and he didn't have much of an issue with it Jason has been seen a girl Amy Amy, for a few months now, and she's been coming around the apartment more often. I've always gotten weird vibes from her, like she has a problem with Jason living with a female roommate, but for the most part, I've ignored it. The other night, I was in my bedroom, and they were out in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Starting point is 01:05:22 All of a sudden, I hear yelling, coming from the kitchen, quote, What the fuck are these? Followed by a slamming sound from what I assume was the dishwasher door being slammed shut. Not sure what was going on. I entered the kitchen and was immediately met by Amy's death glare. She opened the dishwasher and again said,
Starting point is 01:05:43 What the fuck are these? Pointing at my butt plugs in the silverware basket. I began to try explaining myself, although I don't feel I should have to in my own apartment, but she didn't want to hear any of it. She exploded, saying, I knew you too had a thing, and stormed out of the apartment. Now Jason is upset with me and not talking to me. I feel blindsided by it all. I've been washing my butt plugs in the dishwasher
Starting point is 01:06:11 for the entire time that Jason has lived here. If he had a problem with it, or suspected Amy would have a problem with it, why wouldn't he just tell me? Jason and I have never been intimate, and I feel it's unfair for Amy to assume that, just because I sterilize my butt plugs in the dishwasher. I figured we are all mature enough that it wouldn't be
Starting point is 01:06:30 a problem. Am I the asshole? Oh, God. Well, I would say to this, do you need to wash them in the dishwasher? Because actually, that's, you know, that's using valuable space in the dishwasher for other things. Next year, silverware? Yeah, just to, just to, in the sink, bit of washing up liquid, quit wash, dry them off with a tea towel or a rag, or whatever you call it.
Starting point is 01:06:51 Tea towel. And that's that. How do you wash yours, William? How rude. Do you put yours in the dishwasher? Are they dishwasher safe? I don't have black straws. They're not, like, supposed to be washed in there, right?
Starting point is 01:07:03 I feel like that damage is like... Depends what it says on the box. It depends on the phone or guess depends on the tier. Yeah. No, silicon. Did you wash them while the dishes were in there as well, the rest of the pots and pans? Well, I mean, it doesn't really matter what she washes in there because it'll be if it reaches 62 degrees Celsius, I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit. You think that would kill it? Yeah, that area of dye is at that temperature. There's a time and a place to wash your bookblocks,
Starting point is 01:07:26 and it probably isn't in the dishwasher. I know you said you made it pretty clear that you're quite open and what have you bought. It's quite embarrassing washing your sex toys in the dishwasher if you share a house. You know, even though it's your house, you still share that place. I assume he pays rent.
Starting point is 01:07:43 I assume you take money off him. So you still share that space. So it's probably best not to wash them in the dishwasher. Yes. If they're away for the weekend, crack on. Okay, get it all in there. Get the whips, the chains, the book plugs, the flesh lights, the lot. Do a big wash, do a big load. I have been wondering how people wash those. What? The flesh lights. Yeah, how would you wash one of those? Again, I don't have a flashlights. We're putting four million on the spot here.
Starting point is 01:08:12 Um, yeah. It is weird sharing the space, especially like her being like my own apartment, but it's like, but you're splitting it. Like the minute someone else moves in, like it's a share. To share. To own the apartment. I think she does, but even if she doesn't, even if she does it doesn't, they're sharing and there's boundaries isn't there.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Or she needs to say to Jason is, sorry, that made Amy uncomfortable. Yep. Won't do it again whilst you're around. Yeah. Yeah. And move on. Do it whilst he's at work. But it's also not her responsibility to calm Amy down. That's Jason's responsibility. If he goes on vacation, think, do you know what? I'm gonna have a big sex style you wash this week.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Again, there are a lot of people that are insecure in their own relationships in this episode. Oh, Amy hates her guts. That's very clear. But again, it's like, just because someone lives with a girl roommate doesn't mean they're sleeping together. Like, I moved in with two of my guy friends after college and they were the best roommates I ever had.
Starting point is 01:09:06 Kept their shit to themselves, didn't steal my clothes. It was a great living situation. Did they steal your food? They did do that. Yeah, guys do that. But you can let that go. Mostly my tequila. If they replace it, have had housemates that have like texted me going, oh, did you use my butter?
Starting point is 01:09:26 You're like, I'll get over it. The butter? Yeah, honestly, did you use my milk? Oh, I'll get some more in. We've talked about this before in the past. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I had a bit of a tolls report around. I owe you 50 P, 50 cents.
Starting point is 01:09:38 50 cents, whatever you want to call it. That's ridiculous. There's certain things like that, as long as you're not finishing it. Like if, and I think leftovers are a big hot topic, like I had leftovers from a restaurant, That's ridiculous. There's certain things like that as long as you're not finishing it. I think leftovers are a big hot topic. I had leftovers from a restaurant. I put it in the fridge and my roommate ate it.
Starting point is 01:09:52 That annoying me. I was saving that for a reason. Yeah, you paid up and, you know, you paid more for that than you did the bar shop. That's a bit of chocolate in the fridge and they said, I'll get you another piece. I'll be alright. ball, get you know that piece. Happy all right, man. Mm-hmm. Top comment on this one. If your butt plugs fit in the silver wear basket, you're doing it wrong. You're the asshole.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Um, someone goes, the fuck did I just read? Also, dishwashers aren't good for sex toys. Warm water and soap is all you need. That's what I said. Yeah. And a tea towel. Yeah. I'm going home with so many tea towels. That's what I said. Yeah. And a tea towel. And a tea towel. I'm going home with so many tea towels.
Starting point is 01:10:26 That's like going to be my souvenir from this trip. Tea towels. Yeah, get a nice British one with a queen. You can go to the Royal Collection gift shop and you can buy them at the Sebahic Impaliers or Haras or Fortenon Mace and do good tea towels or dales for organic. Those are the top tea towel recommendations. Okay, I'm going to have to write these down after we're done here. There's so many Americans listening to this and I'm going, who is this guy? Is this, is he
Starting point is 01:10:48 putting the sun? Is this a character? No, he's real. No, I love your voice. Thank you. I love him too. I love the way you said, too. It's like the, the vintage BBC. Yeah. Versus today. Yes. The new BBC. Standards are very much slips. Yeah, a little bit for everyone.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Also, every time I think BBC, it's just... No, don't be vile. It's just that acronym, you know. Over here, it's a well-respected household institution, not a pornographic search term. The BBC here is the British Broadcasting Corporation, yes. Yeah. For anyone confused at home, what the BBC is. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Moving on. confused at home what the BBC is yeah, yeah, okay Moving on always on the BBC
Starting point is 01:11:31 I have no comeback. I'm like in more ways than one. Yeah Another one of this week's partners is next divo I'm back after traveling and trying to catch up with things after a break is so stressful. But luckily I have next-evo to help me get good, quality sleep, and feel a little bit less anxious. I'm not sure where I would be without them. And it makes sense, because next-evo naturals are clinically proven to help your body absorb CBD four times better than regular CBD oil. Seriously, they've got the studies to prove it.
Starting point is 01:12:10 And it's something I asked for when I first started working with them because I wanted to see the data. And something I love about Nexivo is you're actually getting what's on the label. And they work fast with absorption starting in just 10 minutes. And there's options for you depending on what you're looking for. Next, EVO has their sleep support complex and their stress CBD complex. So if you're having a rough day, you want to just feel a little less stress,
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Starting point is 01:12:55 Go to nextevo.com and use promo code THT to get 25% off. That's 25% off at n-e-x-t-e-v-o-dot-com promo code t-h-t. Okay. This next one, also a little vintage. It's two years old. Coming from Ami the Ashole, it is titled Ami the Ashole for peeing in the cat tray. We've all been there. Okay, so this is weird and I'm using it through a way because this is so embarrassing. Me, 29 female and my partner, 25 male, have been dating for three years and live together for one of those years.
Starting point is 01:13:37 We live in a small, one-bedroom flat that has one bedroom with our two cats. I am a diabetic and I'm on a number of medications. One of them really flushes sugar straight through my system and can make me pee a lot. I can go from not feeling like I need to pee to if I don't pee in the next 20 minutes, I'll pee myself. It comes on suddenly sometimes. My boyfriend has IBS and he can spend 40 minutes
Starting point is 01:14:04 in the bathroom easily sometimes. Jesus. This hasn't been a problem thus far. Today though, he had a bad IBS moment and after 40 minutes locked in the bathroom, I felt that I needed to pee. I figured he wouldn't be very long since he'd already been in there 40 minutes. I knocked on the door and let him know I needed to pee and asked how long he would be.
Starting point is 01:14:27 He said he'd be a few minutes. Okay, no problem. 20 minutes later, so he's been in there an hour at this point. I'm kind of doing the potty dance a little and knock on the door again. He's gonna be a few more minutes. I tell him I'm not gonna be able to hold it much longer
Starting point is 01:14:43 and if he could just unlock the door, I'll just hop in the shower. He says he can't get off the toilet right now. Okay, fair enough. Another 15 minutes go by and my bladder is starting to hurt and he hasn't flushed or anything yet. I figure you're fuck it. My bladder hurts and I'm bursting and I figured the cats would forgive me. We have two litter trays, one in the bathroom and one in nook in the corridor. I pop a squat over the litter tray in the corridor and have a tinkle and use a kitchen towel to wipe. I then bag up the litter tray and completely refresh it. He comes out another 10 minutes later and says the bathroom's free and I tell him
Starting point is 01:15:25 it's fine. He gives me a funny look and I tell him what I did. He looks at me, absolutely disgusted and says that is revolting. I tell him I'd rather just refresh the literature which takes seconds than piss myself and have to do a ton of washing. He hasn't spoken to me all evening, and he says, I can't believe I would do something so gross. I tried to tell him a number of times, I really needed to go, and he said I should learn to hold it better. This has kind of left me feeling like I'm the asshole. Well, when you move, you need to find someone with two bathrooms.
Starting point is 01:16:04 That's what you do going forward. Dump the boyfriend and you'll have the bathroom out of yourself. He needs to light it up. It's how much I just make a joke of it. Next time you're out with friends back, have you ever actually pissed in the literature this week? Because I was on the toilet. He needs to light it up.
Starting point is 01:16:23 And also, they've both got medical conditions. There's not one that's more severe or more important than the other. I would say they're more or less on a pole. Yeah. Sounds like a joke. No, I'd be a girl and a diabetic guy walking to a bar. He was in there, though, for an hour and 25 minutes. Yeah, that's way long.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Yes, but I do an IBS, but. But IBS, like, I do have IBS. That's okay. It shoots through you. You're not, at least from my understanding and my friends, like, you're not constipated. It's the opposite problem. So like, if you do have, I don't know,
Starting point is 01:17:01 this is getting really bad, but I'm like, if he has the squirts, like, just go to the bathroom real quick, flush, letter in the pee, that takes 15 seconds, and then you're back on. He was, I'm sorry, he's the asshole there. Hey, he won't letter in the bathroom, and B, he was definitely just scrolling through
Starting point is 01:17:16 TikTok on the toilet, weren't he? And then he shames her for using the letter on. And she replaced it. She cleaned it. Which, you could have gone in the sink, which would have been worse. I was wondering alternative options. I think I would have chosen the sink. I would have gone in the litter box. And she replaced it. She cleaned it. Which could have gone in the sink, which would have been worse. I was wondering alternative options. I think I would have chosen the sink. I would have gone in the sink. I would have hovered my ass over it. Yes, same. And then I would have bleached it afterwards.
Starting point is 01:17:32 To you, see. He would never, at universe, he was repulsed at university. I used to wear my sink in my room. And he's the thanks. The toilet was like two floors upside should have been there. But I used to, it's disgusting, it is disgusting. It's, yeah, it's pretty bad. But for you that was out of laziness, not out of necessity. Yeah, so I think she did the right thing. Wait, you used bottles? No, I used to just piss in the sink. Yeah, but I was perfectly free vacant lavatory down the corridor. I had bleach spray that I used to spray it afterwards. It was disgusting. That is pretty bad. It was pretty bad.
Starting point is 01:18:07 It was pretty bad. But it's better than I know a lot of guys that would pee in bottles on the side of their bed and then just cappin' them. Well, that's really bad. I wouldn't do that now, I'm a changed man, but yeah. Can you imagine accidentally drinking that? Oh, don't, God.
Starting point is 01:18:20 But I do not think this girl's the asshole at all. I think a boyfriend is, he could have I think a boyfriend is he could have let like he could have let on the toilet and she did the right thing. He's the asshole. Yeah, and I mean for the girlfriend, I would have said, yeah, Vic Grima had to do that, where it happened again, you know,
Starting point is 01:18:37 but it happened, I've changed the list of tray. I was supportive of you in your needs and was not a asshole and got evicted you from the Lou. I cope. So no, she is not. Oh, yeah. No.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Top comment. Wow, that's rich. Coming from a person with IBS telling you that you should learn to hold it better. Can he hold his shit together better or stop shitting long enough to let you into the bathroom? That's absolutely ridiculous for him to expect of you when he knows he wouldn't be able to do the same. He has double standards Not the asshole. I Have IBS I would have just let her go in the shower. How long was the only on the bug for an hour and twenty minutes an hour and twenty five? She is like to dead after that.
Starting point is 01:19:25 It's not good for you to sit on the toilet that long, actually. I have a numb bum. Oh, I think like there's some studies coming out that actually say like it can cause a lot of damage where like if you can't go, you should get off the toilet until you can't. Yeah, it's because you can't force it. And there's little stalls you get now because because that's the toilet's a bad design. So the party... No, it's still an amplation world.
Starting point is 01:19:49 No, a stall, like a little, you put your feet up. Yes, squatting parties. Oh, is that what it's called? What do you call them? A little stewel. No. Apparently, if anyone's listening, you're struggling to bring your knees into your chest. Yes.
Starting point is 01:20:00 No, and that will help. We've... We've talked before a while ago on Applecast about, I'm a great believer in calonic irrigation, and after you've been irrigated, hydrotherapy, I think. And Anima. Yup. You go and sit on the loo just to, you know, incest as any residual leakage.
Starting point is 01:20:16 And you do put your feet up on the Squatty Potsty. Yeah. Yeah, change your life. Have you ever been to a country where it's just the whole as the toilet and squatted? Yes, but I've never used such a facility. You haven't. Oh, yeah. France has them quite a lot. Really? Yeah, road sites sort of motorway. That's what people said, but I never encountered one there.
Starting point is 01:20:34 I went to one on Amsterdam. It was a urinal and the guy in before me had shit in it. Oh, but it was like a in the whole. Sorry, I don't mean to say that. How did you pronounce urinal? Urinal. Oh my God, that's the worst one. Am I saying it wrong? That's the worst one. Urinal. Urinal.
Starting point is 01:20:50 Urinal, yeah. Ha ha ha ha. It's not like you're saying rhino. I'm probably saying it wrong. Like with the horn, rhino. No, no, no, no. Jordan is saying it correctly in British pronounce it. You know, I'm gaslighting you over.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, you're in all. You're right. He's actually urinal. Is it nice? You're right, urinal. Urinal. It's how we say it in my part of the woods,
Starting point is 01:21:18 my neck of the woods. Yeah, no, this would be, honestly, if this is a pattern, this would be, honestly, if this is a pattern, this would be break up worthy for me. And like, and that's, people are probably gonna be like, oh, you're being like really aggressive about that. But he's like embarrassing you and like, shaming you for a medical need,
Starting point is 01:21:38 and he's the one that put you in that position and granted, he's got IBS, but then hover off the door, or like off the toilet to get the door for two seconds. And given the silent treatment all night. No, okay. Oh, you could turn, she could turn, she could turn around and say, well, okay, darling, next time we're in such a situation,
Starting point is 01:21:56 I'm just going to break the door down and I'm going to sit over you and just get on with it. What would you prefer? I love that. It's a point, maybe. I hope she tries that. Absolutely. Okay, one. Pointy-ping. I hope she tries that. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:22:06 Okay. One last one for us here. This is three days old coming from our slash stories. So trigger warning for my friends out there that can't handle poop stories. This is your time to tune out. Well, they've just had one. I love you. In some sense, yeah, but this is where I think, you know.
Starting point is 01:22:28 Shit gets real. Yeah. I have a lot of people that don't like the poop stories. No, I think we do as well. We start a banning poop stories from our podcast. Really? Yeah, we were getting too many. There's a lot of shit out there.
Starting point is 01:22:41 So much shit. So this is titled, I quote accidentally shit the bed in front of my boyfriend. Warning, don't read this if you have problems with feces and that kind of shit. Someone told me that I should share this embarrassing story, so here we go. Me, female 18, had just gone into a relationship
Starting point is 01:23:03 with my new sweet boyfriend, male 20. A little info about me, I have a chronic stomach wound which pops up whenever I'm really stressed. The relationship was very new, so we were both still quite shy. We had just gotten comfortable enough farting in front of each other though, and often made a joke out of it. About a month into our relationship, I had to go to the hospital with my stomach wound. I was there for a week, and he was super supportive the whole time.
Starting point is 01:23:30 When I finally got home from the hospital, my body was so weak. I wasn't allowed to drink or eat anything the whole week because of the tests they had to do. Therefore, my body had pretty much shut down. Nothing had come in, so nothing was coming out. I got prescribed some laxatives that I took. Never having taken them before, I didn't know what to expect, but it definitely wasn't this. We were laying in bed. I was on my side looking at my phone, and he was half sitting up on bed, playing runescape on his laptop in front of me. I could feel a fart coming. So I looked
Starting point is 01:24:05 up into his eyes with a smirk face expression and said, quote, I'm shitting. I meant to say, quote, I'm farting, but the words came out wrong and so did something else. The moment I said it, I let it all out still with a smirk face expression, looking him right in the eyes. Oh God. You could hear a wet bubbly sound. And I knew instantly what had happened. My smile faded and my face turned to horror. My hand flew down to stop the flow, but it was too late. My boyfriend jumped up and ran to the toilet to bring me paper, helped me clean up while laughing hysterically. What a good lad.
Starting point is 01:24:51 I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even say anything. Later, when we sat and talked, he told me it was one of the most intimidating things he had ever experienced. The way I looked him right in the eyes, he had never felt so dominated in his life. Quote, like a monkey, shitting in his hands and throwing it. Needless to say, we got very quickly comfortable with intimate things like that after this, even though we've broken up since then. And it's been a few years. I'm to this day still just as embarrassed. So he found out you had a kink for being dominates,
Starting point is 01:25:35 it's maybe. It sounded like that a little. I was gonna say this guy's a keeper. If he laughs a bit. I was gonna say like this is true love. This is, if you can laugh it off, you're partner can see you at your words, it's like that Facebook post that Mum's always post. Most of them. If you can't handle me,
Starting point is 01:25:54 that you can't handle me. You don't deserve me the best. That whole thing that Karen shared on Facebook. It's kind of like that. I think what a lot, but I'm also worried about what you got into after that. Yeah, I mean, take the sex-kink domination thing out of it. I would say in the moment he, rather than just going, oh, what are you doing, etc. Especially if there's a medical thing.
Starting point is 01:26:17 If there wasn't a medical thing, you could perhaps maybe justify like, what the heck, have you done? But there wasn't a medical thing. He was perfectly, you know, often finding the funny is a, in everything, rather than taking things too seriously, is a great coping mechanism. So he handled it well there. You didn't do it on purpose.
Starting point is 01:26:34 This course is called, you're not the asshole. I think it's, it's, try not to do it again. Yeah. Because also, hopefully, I've probably burnt the mattress, washed the bedding, and sent her. She's probably felt bad, you know. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, her pants for sure,
Starting point is 01:26:51 but a cleaning poop as an adult is like, it's really challenging. There's a lot. Like I used to have to clean people as like an occupational therapist. And like it is really, really hard. Yeah. It's not easy. Yeah, I can imagine can imagine it's I won't be able to cope with it I've got quite weeks to work. I'm honestly I'm a really big gagger. Yeah, same and like it was really
Starting point is 01:27:16 I literally like you try to plug your nose But you can't because you have gloves on or sometimes you get shit on your gloves and you're just sitting there like, it's just so bad. And you don't want to like dehumanize these people because they don't want to be shitting themselves. And it's just this is just the worst situation two people could be in together. I also got my shoes shad on. This guy was walking and as he was walking to the bathroom, I was just squirt squirt squirt squirt. And I was wearing white shoes that day. My white like hospital sneakers. That was bad. My my colleague had a guy shit himself
Starting point is 01:27:53 and then sit on her leg because he couldn't stand anymore. So she got poop all over her knee. He like rode her. It was like hot dog. You might be able to answer this. Why in the medical profession are doctors, people that work within the medical profession are doctors, people that work within the medical profession?
Starting point is 01:28:06 Why is the chosen color to wear white? Because actually with blood, with poo, with all the other stuff, that's actually the least practical color. Very good pain. Yeah. Our scrubs at one place were maroon. At another, they were black, but you had a blue coat, like fleece. But there is like that tradition
Starting point is 01:28:27 of a white coat, which is, it's just kind of an old medical tradition, but they're finding white coats are actually like super unhygenic. They actually can carry a lot of bacteria from room to room. So they're kind of becoming, that they did tossed. Okay. Yeah. It's more of that traditional medical model, which a lot of professions now aren't even embracing. They're looking at more of a holistic. Right. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:28:52 Yeah. Um, do you guys fart in front of your partners? I've never farted. Oh my god, you're one of those. So he farted once. No, it was a floorboard. On, we left. Yeah. We went on a trip to Monaco. And it was an old property. And he said he came into the room and fired a meme
Starting point is 01:29:14 Ben producer bed here, looks at each other burst out laughing. He went, sorry about that chaps. And it was the loudest, manliest fart you've ever heard, which probably wouldn't expect from him. Yeah, Justin doesn't fart either. He like can't, he doesn't can't. He has to go sit on the toilet to pass gas. Right, yeah, my friend fart's in front of his. It's annoying. Girlfriend, but he can't have his girlfriend fart
Starting point is 01:29:41 in front of him. And I think that's double standards, isn't it? Completely. I haven't kind of girlfriend fight in front of him. And I think that's double standards, isn't it? Completely. I haven't kind of, okay, so my listeners are gonna be very excited for this story. Cause I ask, he has like, you know, Farts can never trust a fart too much. Things like that.
Starting point is 01:29:56 This story kind of reminded me of it. But there's kind of this running joke for me and my listeners that like, I haven't really farted in front of Justin yet. And so everyone sends me this video of this guy buying his girlfriend a cake for the first time she farted as like, yay Jessica farted in front of me. And recently on a trip home to Minnesota, I'm at my brother's house we're working. And I let one go silent, but turned out to be a little deadly.
Starting point is 01:30:26 And Justin, all of a sudden, has like the dog near him and he goes, God, this dog fucking stinks! And I literally thought to myself, I go, this is why I haven't done it yet, you guys. Like, that was me kind of testing the waters. And after that, if he smelled it and heard it, it's done. After five years it's done. And how long have you been together?
Starting point is 01:30:50 Almost five years. Oh wow. Yeah. I recently googled when when when do you stop finding facts funny because I'm 33 years old and I still find facts hilarious. Yeah. And if you send the video everyone's seeing it, it's in Walmart, the guy Farts down the tunnel. In Walmart, oh my God.
Starting point is 01:31:08 What's a Tanoi? The PA, the PA, and I'll say. Clean up an aisle five. No, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. He just goes up to it and goes, that is the funniest video. I need to see this now. I find poop stories and farts all hilarious.
Starting point is 01:31:22 Like, what was the comments for that one? What did they just, people finding it very funny? Oh, okay. So she wasn't the asshole. Yeah, no, this was more of like a sharing subreddit. Okay. But yeah, she just goes on to say someone was like, aha, this is funniest fuck and OP goes,
Starting point is 01:31:38 we both laughed a lot. I can't imagine how he must have felt. Someone goes, that was such a power move. The confidence to just stare at him and shit. imagine how he must have felt. Someone goes, that was such a power move, the confidence to just stare at him and shit. Well, it all goes on, doesn't it? It does. What a great story.
Starting point is 01:31:54 I love it. Thank you guys so much for coming on today. Thank you. Where can people find you? So you can listen to us in all the usual podcast places. It's called help I sex my boss. We get some absolutely horrific problems and dilemma setting and William and I actors. Agony uncles, Agony aunts, we were from two different perspectives. Yeah, you guys are both like kind of the devil and angel on their shoulders. Which one's which Morgan? I would say you're more of the angel.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Yeah, definitely. I think that's very, you know, apparent with the etiquette and all. Yeah, so we do that. It's called out by sex in my boss. We have some shocking dialect really shocking stuff and we've also got a book coming out soon as well. Yes. Audio book you're recording right now. We are, I know. Yes. Boiler alert. Are you viewers? Are red raw? What? Are you viewers? At the back of our throat. are red raw. What? Are you yours? At the back of our throat. Oh, yeah. Okay, you're going to have vocal rest after this.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Yes. I'm the torch I put you through. Can I also thank you? Yeah. I don't know whether you've done this deliberately, but you're lovely queen Elizabeth II pendants that you're wearing. Are you doing that just for us? Yes.
Starting point is 01:32:58 Just for being in London. Yeah. That's so sweet. I think it's got Canada maple leaf on the back, but I have it slipped to this side with the intention. So it's said you went at a loss or just this trip? I brought it out recently. Okay, yes. Yeah, you need a chance to throw the third one there now.
Starting point is 01:33:12 No, don't. Oh. On that note, taxi. Does it come in a Meghan Markle version? Probably, yeah. There we go. Okay, until next time, guys. Bye.
Starting point is 01:33:28 Goodbye. Thank you again, Spotify, for letting me record in your London studio and special thanks to Lewis and Tom for facilitating that week. You guys were magical. you you

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