Two Hot Takes - 145: You're Being Too Loud.. Ft. Spencewuah

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!! TICKETS HERE: https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour If code is required it's "CARROTCAKE" :) Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Spencer Hunt aka Spencewuah! S...pencer is the expert on yelling.. but wow these people didn't need to to get their chaos across. From open relationships to trying to get some quality sleep.. these stories were something. Multiple TWs in this one so please listen carefully. And as always cant wait to hear your thoughts! Spencer's YouTube channel !!! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc7DRLEHTG2hrQl4OGa1fZg MERCH IS HERE!!! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these. Especially at the live shows we have this upcoming spring ;) Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Shopify: shopify.com/tht Skims: skims.com & Be sure to let them know we sent ya :) Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with Lume deodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code "THT" at LumeDeodorant.com Skylight Frames: SkylightFrame.com/TAKES Hellofresh: hellofresh.com/thtfree Promo Code: thtfree

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 One of this week's partners is Shopify. I'm all about people making their coin, whether it's a side hustle or a full-time small business, we all need the right tools to make that money. I mean, I'm selling merch again and the whole process has been so easy thanks to using Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business, and it allows you to sell everywhere. And it's easy to check out, which also helps convert customers. For me, selling merch has not always been easy. I really tried to tackle it on my own. It was a struggle.
Starting point is 00:00:32 And I was so discouraged, I stopped doing it. But Shopify has really changed the game for me, and I feel empowered. I feel like it's so easy to sell things now. And I feel like no matter how big this podcast gets, Shopify is always gonna be able to handle the level of listeners I have and make it in your hands on March easy. It really lets you take control of your business and take it to the next level.
Starting point is 00:00:51 So sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash THT. All lower case, go to shopify.com slash THT now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash THT. Okay, we're off to the races. Sleaboos. Oh, welcome back. All right, thank you for having me back. Oh, I'm so excited. I know.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I am too. And carry my manager for she was like, um, would you want to be on two hot takes again? I was like, yeah, sign me up now. Oh, I love it. For those listening and watching, we have the amazing Spencer. Hello.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Spencer wall back. Hi everyone, yeah, I'm back. I know you couldn't get enough of me, so no, I'm here. I think you did a really good job last time. Really? Yeah, I feel like the comments were very much so like, yes, like good job Spencer, you got it.
Starting point is 00:01:43 And considering that like we had drank a little, we, I'm not gonna lie, I just hope I can provide the same energy and the same good opinion sober. I think you will. The stories today are a little all over the place. That's fine. Kind of wild. I was like when I was envisioning a theme for you,
Starting point is 00:02:04 because you're kind of like onto these new adventures of YouTube and really like kind of branching off into what you create these days. So I was like, okay, what am I gonna call this? And I was like, hmm, like, damn, like you didn't have to yell so loud. You know when people are like, damn girl, like you didn't have to yell so loud,
Starting point is 00:02:22 like basically being like, you didn't have to like, sewer me like that. Yeah, like throw me under the bus. Okay, yeah. It's kind of that vibe. Like, quiet down girl. Like, pipe down. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Pipe down. Okay, chill out. I'm not set on a title. Maybe you can help me by the time we get done. Okay. But I think it's gonna be. I'll have the gears turning. I see them, I see them.
Starting point is 00:02:41 You see them? Behind those of us. Yeah. Do do do do do do do do. Yeah, I love them. You see them? Behind those of us. Yeah. Yeah. I love when you can like immediately tell someone's like thinking or like you just see it in their eyes that they're like, something's happening back there. Yeah. You'll know if I'm thinking when I'm looking at you, but I'm not looking at you.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I'm looking through you. Oh, fuck. That's what it's like. I'm like, that's me constantly because I just zone out so much and I can feel it. And I'll literally sit there and I just can't stop staring, but I'll like, I's me constantly, because I just zone out so much, and I can feel it, and I'll literally sit there, and I just can't stop staring, but I'll talk to someone, I'll be like, sorry, I'm really zoning out right now.
Starting point is 00:03:10 That's what, and do you ever get your eyes, like they fix on something, and then it's just like, they're so comfortable there, so you just have to keep staring. Like, do you ever get really comfortable staring at something and you're like, whoa, how did this happen? But I can't stop doing it.
Starting point is 00:03:23 And then when you start thinking about it too much, it's not comfortable anymore. Yeah, do you have contacts? I can't stop doing it. And then when you start thinking about it too much, it's not comfortable anymore. Yeah. Do you have contacts? I don't. Okay, so I have contacts and sometimes as I'm watching stuff, my lenses on my eyes will like slowly go out of focus. It's so weird. And like they'll slide.
Starting point is 00:03:37 They just like don't work anymore. I don't know, I don't know the science of how like contacts even work. Like it's kind of mind blowing to me, but all of a sudden they'll just go blurry and then if I blink a couple times, they come back. See, I can't know the science of how contacts even work. It's kind of mind blowing to me, but all of a sudden they'll just go blurry and then if I blink a couple of times, they come back. See, I can't do contacts. I've always been a glasses girlie,
Starting point is 00:03:50 but that's one because my vision isn't even that bad. And two, I used to like, I knew a girl in middle school who fell asleep in her contacts and she had to get rushed to the hospital. And ever since then, I was like, no. And they actually found like a whole bunch of contacts in the back of her eye, which is like, like she had two major, like it was,
Starting point is 00:04:14 both of her eyes were infected. She couldn't open her eyes. She had to go to the ER. They basically had to like clamp her eyes open and remove the contacts. Oh, okay. And like ever since, and when I saw her in school and she literally was looking like this, I was like, no, I'll just stick with the glasses.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I just saw a video on TikTok of someone getting like 30 contact lenses removed. But you know what's even satisfying though? A little, but like when it's not me. And also as someone who's number one contacts, like I know you can probably imagine how it feels to have contacts come out of your eyes. I can't. So like just watch. I could put one in for you one day. No, thank you. I would love to put them in. My friend is like really, she's got really bad vision. She's just too scared to wear contacts. And I'm like, all literally pop them in for you. Really? I think we should try them. Like if you want to change the eye color one day and do colored contacts, I'll pop them in for you. I'm so good at it.
Starting point is 00:05:06 I've lost trust you. I just washed my hands. So I'm like here, I'm just pop this out real fast. Yeah, that's what it looks like. Do they get like, do they get blurry? Like do they get fingerprints on them like glasses on those? No, they like watch off. Has you like blink a couple times?
Starting point is 00:05:27 That's interesting. So I'll just pop it in for you. Does it feel weird the first few times you wear them? Yeah, like I think when I was little, it was hard to get used to, but now it's just like my eyes feel weirder without them than they do when they're in there. They feel normal in. Really? It just feels like my eyeball.
Starting point is 00:05:45 That's see, I just like the contacts within themselves just scare me a little. Yeah, honestly, the little eyedrops that are making people go blind scare me more. There are, I drop said I'm making people go blind. There's like a big recall on certain eyedrops. Which one? Check your eyedrops, guys.
Starting point is 00:06:03 We're gonna have to research. Do you use eyedrops? Occasionally. We'll check them. Oh, that's terrifying. Yeah. I'm really going to have to check them now. And if I wasn't here today, I would have never known that. I know. I could have gone blind.
Starting point is 00:06:18 This is the problem with like, they don't announce things very well anymore. Like we find out most of our information from like TikTok and Twitter and. Yeah, it's like we're not watching the news. Like I'm sorry if you thought I was watching like your daily news channel with like the anchor on air. I'm really I'm not. We ain't there anymore. You need to like have someone a news anchor
Starting point is 00:06:37 for like social media. I agree. Okay, are you ready to get into this? Yes. Let's dive in. Okay, are you ready to get into this? Yes. Let's dive in. I just keep losing my story.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Okay. So up first, we have one coming from our very own two hot takes subreddit. It's a little bit of a warm up. You know, there might not be that much to say about it, but it's juicy and it went a little viral. Really? It's got 6.1 million views right now. Ooh, a little viral.
Starting point is 00:07:23 A little. It just, you know, some people have seen it. 6.1 million people right now. Ooh, a little viral. A little. It just, you know, some people have seen it. 6.1 million people have seen it. I know, is that weird? So it is titled, I made the mistake of asking my wife for an open marriage, and I regret it. I feel like a complete idiot here. My wife and I have been married for 19 years.
Starting point is 00:07:41 We have one child. Our daughter moved out this summer after she enlisted in the armed forces. I love my wife, but I felt like the spark was gone from our lives. I don't want to divorce her so I proposed an open marriage. She was upset initially, but eventually she agreed. Like I said in the title of my post, I made a mistake. I have learned that just because I wasn't as attracted to my wife as I was when we got married, it doesn't mean other men would feel the same. My wife has so many men and dates, she doesn't know what to do with them all.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Meanwhile, it's the opposite for me. Not only that, but after my wife agreed to an open marriage, I asked a woman who was a colleague of mine out on a date. I was a manager at my job, but I wasn't her manager. We worked in completely different divisions, and our work had nothing to do with each other's jobs. But even though I wasn't her manager, and I'm in an open marriage, she complained to her manager and showed HR my messages. I lost my job.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I told my wife I want to close our marriage again because I was an idiot for suggesting it in the first place. She said no, she's happy with how things are. It's killing me when I know she is with other men. My brother called me a moron when I told him and said expecting my wife to look like she did when she got married made me a dunce. Even went so far as to say she takes great care of herself and is in great shape for 44. She just doesn't look 20. He had the nerve to say my wife looks better than
Starting point is 00:09:11 me and I could stand to lose some weight. I love my wife and I don't want a divorce. I never wanted a divorce, which is why I proposed this in the first place, but she doesn't want to close the marriage. I'm not worried about money because we both work, but I do not want a divorce. I'm just glad my daughter enlisted in the RCAF and isn't here to see our marriage falling apart. I like how to say is who's fault is that? Like the minute, the minute this person said that they're not The minute this person said that they're not, like it's the exact opposite for him, like his wife is pulling in guys and he's not pulling in anything and he lost his job.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Like my whole thing is like, I can't imagine how I would feel if I was married to someone and they were like, hey, I want an open relationship and I'm just like not as attracted to you in a way that I once was. I would do the same thing as her. If he was like, wait, I wanna close relationship now,
Starting point is 00:10:10 I'd be like, hell no. Like you, you made your bet so late in it, like, oh well. And now he's upset about it, but you wanna know why he's upset? Because it didn't go the way he had planned it to go. That. Like it would make more sense if he was like, oh, like I've actually like, I've noticed more things about her
Starting point is 00:10:27 that like have made me fall in love with her even more. No, he's just upset because she's getting the attention. Yeah. He's not getting. Oh, well, too bad. And it was your idea. She wants to keep doing it. And you can't fault her for that.
Starting point is 00:10:40 And the marriage is falling apart, not because of her, because of you. That's it. That's all there is to it. I feel like he, the only reason he even wanted to open the relationship to was like a sneaky way to ask that coworker out. Right. Like, and now you don't have a job. Oh, he got fired from that place.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Huh. He's too bad so sad. Careful what you wish for. I literally, this is like a flashback that just popped into my head, but there was this old ass movie. And it was like, I don't even remember the actor. I think it was the guy that was in the Andy Griffith show,
Starting point is 00:11:15 but this guy, he was obsessed. He hated his life and he was obsessed with fish. And so he'd go every day and like look at the fish and the water and he'd be like, wow, I wish I was a fish. I wish I was a fish. He got turned into a fucking fish. Guess what? He didn't like being a fish anymore.
Starting point is 00:11:31 So be careful what you wish for. That's kind of like what's a called, that movie with what's his name? Tom Hanks doesn't he play, For Scump. Oh, yeah, remember when he was in that movie with the fortune teller He like no really I didn't see this one. It was kind of like 13 going on 30 But like Tom Hanks. Yeah, and he basically like goes to this Fortune teller and he puts in a coin to make a wish.
Starting point is 00:12:05 And after he makes the wish, he wakes up in his bed the next day and he's like a grown man. It's called big. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, I need to watch this. It's such a good movie. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Yeah, after a wish turns 12 year old into 30 year old Tom Hanks, he heads New York City and gets a low level job at a toy company. Uh huh. Okay, cool. That's on my list now. low-level job at a toy company. Uh-huh. Okay, cool. That's on my list now. Uh-huh. That's a good one. That is good.
Starting point is 00:12:30 But yeah, back to the Reddit post, the sub-reddit post you just talked about. I don't know what he was expecting. I mean, like, I'm just going to keep it real. Like, do I have sympathy for this guy? No. No. Sorry. This is what you want to do. This is literally what you asked for and you got it, but you didn't like how you got it.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Like, I'm sure he thought the roles would be reversed. I think so. Anything. A lot of guys that ask for open relationships run into this problem. Except I did find one from a woman who her partner, her husband kept asking her again and again for an open relationship. And she was like, okay, fine. And now it's their girlfriend or like they're doing, they're doing Paulie now. Like Paulie Amara? Yeah, they're doing Paulie now. But like it's their girlfriend. And like their daughter loves this girlfriend so much. Like a second mom, she even like calls her like mommy, I think. And so she's now like, I think my husband likes our girlfriend more than me. And it's like, yeah, why do you think he was pressureing you into this? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:28 It should never be pressured. But like for this guy, unfortunately, this is the bed you made. Get out there and start dating. It's not going to be as easy as it is for your wife, but you can still have your marriage. She's not asking for a divorce yet. So go out there and start dating. It might be hard. Maybe you should start working out.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Also, he also said that he asked her multiple times. You asked, oh, and now all of a sudden, because you aren't getting what you thought you would. It's like, and again, I have to re-iterate this. If he were upset because he was like, I regret it, not because she's getting more attention, but because he realized like, wow, like I really like, I messed up here. I'd be like, okay, I get it, but I still don't have like sympathy for you, but I get your
Starting point is 00:14:15 opinion. However, because of the simple fact that everything he just said being like, oh, I'm upset because the roles were reversed. Like my wife is getting all these dates. I'm not my brother telling me that like, I don't look as good as her. Like those are your, that's your reason why you want to have a close marriage again. What about her being your wife and you being like, wow, I really lost a good one. Maybe put more effort into your relationship with her too. There you go. Like you better step it up. Step it up.
Starting point is 00:14:49 A romantic, like you're not getting divorced unless you keep doing this whole like lack of effort, victim, so selfish thing. But step it up. Get her flowers, take her on dates. Be one of the boyfriends again, dude. I saw something lately where it was like you should always act like you're dating, even if you're married. Like, there should still be romance. There should still be big gestures. Bring home flowers, little gestures. Just like, oh, I was thinking of you, here's a little present. Yeah, I feel like that's where a lot of like romance dies, especially in like long term relationships or marriages when people just stop. They treat each other like, okay, you're like my roommate.
Starting point is 00:15:26 You just become a Kimplacian. And it's easy to do. Like, even I'm about to celebrate five years with Justin. And it's like, you do realize where it's like, okay, no, I need to put more time into intentional quality time. Yeah. Not just hanging out watching a movie,
Starting point is 00:15:41 like, we need to go on a little hike together. We need to do something intentional together. Yes. It's tough. Like even doing a puzzle together. Yeah, I love puzzles. End game nights. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I love a good game night. Okay, moving along. Trigger warning on this next one, my friends. It does contain talks of gore. If you're eating or have a sensitive palate, this probably just isn't a great story for you. Skip! Moving on to something that is really scary.
Starting point is 00:16:13 This is coming from Truff my chest. It is titled, I slept with a girl who has revealed to me something extremely disturbing. Been chatting with this girl. I don't know that I necessarily saw a future with her from the go, but we got along. Started hooking up and while we weren't exclusive or officially labeled, we were circling that relationship arena for some time. She would sleep over from time to time and I'd stay at her place too.
Starting point is 00:16:37 And this is where it all unraveled. We spent the evening together at her place and decided that I'd stay the night. She showered and got ready for bed before me because I decided to shave my beard and the cleanup took a bit of time. I showered and I was finishing up when I started to hear her giggling and laughing hysterically in bed. I can't hear what she's watching because of the bathroom fan, so I figured she was watching something funny. This keeps on going for a while.
Starting point is 00:17:05 And I'm laughing too, because she has a contagious laugh. So I'm eager to plop in a bed with this girl to see what's so funny. It wasn't funny. It was straight, NSFL, Gore videos of people getting tortured, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. There's like a lot more that I'm trying to like censor for us a little.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Now I've seen all of this stuff before out of morbid curiosity and videos like that make me a bit more cautious about life and give me a refreshed appreciation for it, but I don't find it funny. This girl was crying laughing and acting like I shouldn't be surprised. I didn't say anything. I slapped with one I open. This was last night. I changed the door lock to my house. I don't know yet how I'm going to end this, but it's happening. And in the small off chance you, the girl I'm seeing reads this, you are fucking crazy. That's that's just unhinged. That's more than unhinged. Like you need to be in a straight jacket. Like, it's very disturbing.
Starting point is 00:18:11 I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I've definitely gone down those kind of rabbit holes where it's like, people say don't watch this kind of video. And then you watch it and it is very gory. And then you're like, I can't do this. Like I'm the type of person where it's like, I see it once, I'm done, and the only reason I did it was because curiosity got the best of me.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah. But nine out of 10 times, it usually does not. But the fact that she was watching these horrific videos and laughing, she was like watching them for fun. I would have asked her to leave. I would have, dude, I would not have been able to sleep. I, the way I would have just like, I would have been like, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:18:49 there's a family emergency. Do you mind, do you mind leaving? And like text me when you get home. Like that's disgusting. It's a, it's really scary. I think that shows a lot about her character and definitely like get away. I'm so glad he changed the locks right away.
Starting point is 00:19:06 But like when people show you true colors like this, you gotta, you gotta believe them and you gotta run. You gotta run. And how long have they been dating? You said it didn't seem like it was super long been chatting with this girl. I don't know that I necessarily saw a future. Never really mentioned a time. That is bizarro. That's like, that. Also, the fact that she was comfortable enough to do that in front of someone and think it was okay. Like, that's actually like I.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Second twice, dad. Even, even when I have like seen these gory, like gory videos, like. They make me physically ill. Oh, not even once in a blue moon. Once every 100 blue moons babe, when I do come across one of these videos, it's not something I'm like, hey guys, look at this. It's not something that I draw attention to by laughing.
Starting point is 00:20:01 How are you laughing, first of all? Laughing, here's my thing. It is one thing to laugh if like you see a little kid fall. Like sometimes I'll laugh when I see a kid fall because hey, that's shit's kind of funny. And like, you know, you deep down, you're like, should I be laughing? No, but it's like seeing it happen and then being like, I shouldn't laugh. That makes me laugh. Anytime I've ever seen a video like the ones he was describing, there has been no laughter coming out of my mouth. Just sheer like, oh my God. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:20:33 It's really scary. There's a little bit of an edit slash update. So he goes to say, she became wise to my silence and we're having a conversation, but it's hard to not see her differently. I am treating the situation like any other and we're having a conversation, but it's hard to not see her differently. I am treating the situation like any other and treating her like a human, because that's what she is. But I am alarmed, nevertheless, will write more later as I'm trying to juggle work and this situation.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Sorry, I haven't replied to everyone. Did he update after that? I'm gonna go find it. This is off a screenshot and now I'm like, fuck. I would never wanna see her in person again. I wouldn't either. And like he's saying like, oh, I'm treating her like a human because she is one.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Yeah, but like, the dance. Do the average Joe do something like that? I would be more, I would be not only scared to see her in person from what she did, but for my own safety. Yeah, I just don't think you owe someone like that a shit ton of explanation. It's kind of like, hey, you laughing at those videos
Starting point is 00:21:33 was extremely disturbing to me. I'm just not comfortable continuing forward. Yeah. And then maybe get a ring doorbell cam. No other updates like. Leaving us like high and dry. So there was an update. And the moderators removed it. And so someone goes, why do the mods remove the update can't be reposted? And then op goes, I will repost tomorrow, but I'm not seeing it on
Starting point is 00:22:02 their page. And that original post was eight days ago. The update they posted was six days ago, and they haven't reposted it. So we're going to have to keep an eye out. Keep a damn eye out for sure. Oh my God. Just so bad. You know, this reminds me of though that I've never read on this podcast. There's like a, it was on an ask,
Starting point is 00:22:27 like an ask me anything subreddit, and it was a guy who had his leg amputated, and he decided to keep it and like try eating it. He wanted to see what it would taste like. Like there are weird twisted sick people out there. Yeah. I did find the post too. And he said, I taste like buffalo, but chewier, super beefy and a little fat.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Absolutely not. And there's pictures of the foot tacos. Can I see? I'm so scared. I'm curious. Oh, it's just like it looks like taco meat, but can you imagine cutting up your own foot? Oh, it literally looks like a beef fajitas. It does look tasty, which is really bad.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it too hard. And then here's a picture of like their residual limb. He calls it his stump, but my OT brain says residual limb. And he wrote his like Reddit username on it
Starting point is 00:23:32 to post like to prove that it's real. Like he actually had it ambitated. Well, I mean like to be fair, the angle that it's at. It could be the bend of a knee. Yeah. The thing is his knee is right here. That's his knee. Wait, let me see.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Wait. He had, it looks like he had a mid, mid tibia. Oh, that's real. Amputation. Yeah. That's real for sure. Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah, it happened in a motor accident, salvaged the foot, but I would have never been able to walk on it. I elected to get amputated, asked the doctors to keep it. Signed some papers, got it back, and with the help of some friends, cooked a portion of the tibialis anterior. See, like, why couldn't you just say, I ate my damn foot, and why did you have to go
Starting point is 00:24:18 into like extreme detail with the tibial? Like, I don't wanna know which area, just say, I ate my foot, and I also ate my leg. Oh my god, I'm gonna pee my pants. Okay, you got it. I'm gonna run to the bathroom, like, I don't want to know which area, just say I ate my foot and I also ate my leg. Oh my god, I'm going to pee my pants. Okay, you got to come. I run to the bathroom really quick. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Moving along, friends.
Starting point is 00:24:29 One of this week's partners is Skims. Have you started your holiday shopping yet, Lauren? Flally. So no, no need to worry because Skims' holiday shop is open and you guys are going to be impressed. It makes sense why these products are all so amazing because Skims is creating the next generation of underwear, loungewear, and shapewear. Okay, Lauren, don't open your eyes yet, but I have a
Starting point is 00:24:48 surprise for you. Okay. Okay, here you go. A adorable packaging. It comes so nicely packaged. That you don't have to do any wrapping. It's like such a little present already. Lord and I are wearing our beautiful robes. These robes are unisex, so everyone in the THT gang has one, and we've been wearing them pretty much constantly. Oh, it's so soft, it's amazing. Are you taking it off anytime soon? No, definitely not.
Starting point is 00:25:17 When I get my car, I'm driving with this bad boy on, that's for sure. Skims makes holiday shopping so easy, with styles for everyone in the family. Skims, the holiday gift shop is the destination for all your gifty needs. They've got baby skims. They've got pet skims. You name it, you're going to find something for just about everyone on your list.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Believe the hype, Skims has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. Skims holiday gift shop is now open at skims.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you, select podcasts in the survey, and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, this next one has got me a little mad. Okay. It's two days old. Am I the asshole for canceling a trip because my fiance's ex and her baby are coming along? I female 32 have been with Kyle male 37 for two and a half years. We got engaged six months ago. Kyle has been divorced for over five years. He was married to Elena female 37. They have a son, Grayson, male 8.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Elena has a toddler from a guy she met after her divorce and dated briefly, named Ella, 2.5 female. Grayson is a wonderful kid. He has his room in our house and he is so loved by all of us. Kyle and Elena are good friends and co-parenting great. The problem I have is she is everywhere. Besides the holidays and birthdays, which I understand, Christmas, Grayson's birthday, Thanksgiving, Elena and her baby are pretty much invited to any family functions such as Kyle's birthday,
Starting point is 00:26:57 Kyle's parents anniversary, my birthday, yes, Kyle invited her to my birthday, our camping trips, etc. I have talked to Kyle many times, but he thinks I'm being insecure for no reason and making a big deal about nothing. I booked a trip to Mexico for January for me, Kyle, and Grayson. Kyle told Alaina that on the last week of January, we will have Grayson for an extra week since he is coming with us to Mexico. Apparently Ella managed to ask him about our trip dates, details, etc. I saw on Facebook she was posting about swimsuit shopping for her upcoming trip. Kyle texted her and asked her if she was going somewhere that week too. She said she researched our hotel and
Starting point is 00:27:41 quote, I took advantage of the same deal as you guys. So I guess we will see you there, ha ha. I told Kyle then we are canceling the trip. He said he can't because the tickets are non-refundable. I told him then I'm not going. I want a family vacation without his ex-wife, but Kyle thinks there's nothing we can do now. We need to address this for future plans
Starting point is 00:28:03 and be more clear about boundaries. What do I do? Am I the asshole? No. Dude, this is too much for me. I will say no, I do not think you're the asshole because it's like the way I imagine it is they are ex-husband ex-wife. You are his wife now. And I understand putting children first. Like children, I completely understand. Co-parenting, I completely understand. But there are certain moments where it's like,
Starting point is 00:28:35 oh, if we're going to Mexico and I just want it to be us, it feels like almost intrusive. Yes. Like it feels very like I am inviting myself. Yeah, especially because she didn't ask. No, she didn't. And I feel like I don't think you're the asshole for doing this because you've even mentioned like on your own birthday she'll come.
Starting point is 00:28:56 And it's, if you're uncomfortable by this, I feel like it's really important that you address that to your husband Kyle, right? Yes, Kyle. You should address that with Kyle. I am a little upset that Kyle was like, oh, you're just insecure. It's weird. That's not like insecurity.
Starting point is 00:29:13 That's more so like, I would understand if it was like, oh, Ella comes over, like the baby, right? Or Grayson comes over. Like, if they had the kids for the weekend, that's fine. If she ends up for one of the days was like, oh, can we do like a big family dinner? That's fine, but it's like the incessant like always being there.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I don't know if she is still emotionally attached to Kyle or maybe she's just really attached to her children. I don't know, I need to get into this woman's, the X-Wife smile. It feels like Kyle's the fluffer. Yeah. It feels like she gets the benefits of the emotional relationship with Kyle and still having that partner without actually being with Kyle. I totally agree with everything you've said. I think the holiday setup is amazing. To be able to celebrate Christmas and Grayson's birthday
Starting point is 00:30:09 and Thanksgiving as a family, I think that's amazing. But these two, our writer here and Kyle and Grayson, they also need some time as a family unit to establish their own bonds. And OP is gonna be his stepmom, you know, after the wedding. And so it's like, give them a chance to get close. And to know him. And to know him.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Like, he's not the same kid when his mom's around. Like, maybe he is. Maybe when like, having the ex-wife around, especially, it's almost like, now you, like, she's become the other woman. Where it's like it to Grayson to I guess like the children is kind of like, oh mom, dad, dad's girlfriend. Where it should be like step mom, dad, and then mom.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Like it shouldn't be like like it feels like this constant like Intrusiveness has almost made her like an outlier or like outside and Yeah, in order for there to like be a connection they need their own alone time and I would really just be like To what's the woman's name? I wrote this no mention of a name for her Well, if you're listening, I would just highly recommend you set a boundary, but don't set it in the type of way where it's like, you are pushing her or the X-Wife away because I feel like that is like what's probably she in our mind is like, Oh, he's getting married and money gets married. He doesn't want he won't want to be with the kids. He's on the third
Starting point is 00:31:42 I feel like you should make it very, very clear. I want to spend as much time with these children, like once me and Kyle are married, like I will take care of your, like these children, like they are my own. But in order for that to work, we need to be able to establish our own relationships. And we need to set up some boundaries because if you are constantly here, that leaves no opportunity or range for me to actually get close with Grayson. And even if Ella, I know Kyle is an Ella's biological father, but even if Ella wants to spend the weekends with her brother.
Starting point is 00:32:16 You know, that's a really tough dynamic with you. If she wants to spend time with her brother and like, she wants to come along too, I'd be okay with it. But my only thing is like, I need that chance to have and form a bond. And if you keep taking those chances away, then it's just like you are pushing yourself away in a sense. Like you're making it so that I can't have this relationship that you want, or you want me to have it. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:32:50 It makes total sense. Top comment here. I think everyone kind of by the quick lands agrees with what we've been saying, not the asshole. There's good co-parenting and then there's this. It's nice that they are friends that they and you are great with Grayson, but you are not getting any alone time and that will drive you apart. And Elena is reveling in it. Elena is a single mom and probably wants to get back with
Starting point is 00:33:14 Kyle. This isn't right. Your fiance is not looking after you properly. He needs to buck up or this will not work for you and Kyle. And then someone goes, Kyle basically has two wives at this point. Oh, he needs to put her foot down and he needs to grow a spine. Someone goes, my husband's ex would show up right after he left for work at 6am. She would bring me donuts,
Starting point is 00:33:34 start cleaning and folding the kids clothes, asking me my intentions with her ex-husband, since they were clearly a united front, blah, blah, blah. It was bizarre, but the donuts were nice. I could do without her just walking through the door though. That's just like too much. Too much. It's in too much.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Very so. There has been an update posted since I found the original. I'm so excited. And OP, it seems like OP is like clearly struggling because the post, they're supposed to, they're supposed to we read, which was posted two days ago. And then there's another post after that is titled,
Starting point is 00:34:14 before leaving the relationship, what are some must-doos? And this one was posted one day ago and then she posted the update. So which do you wanna read first? Maybe the update and then she posted the update. So, which do you want to read first? Maybe the update, and then we'll go back to that post. Wait, so which one did she post after the update? So it went the update and then the must-do's. Must-do's and then update.
Starting point is 00:34:38 But I think the must-do's might give us some spoilers that aren't in the update. So let's do the update. First of all, thank you for every single comment. I read all of them. Kyle came home late last night since he was working on a project with his coworker. He saw me awake and got surprised and asked, is everything OK? I said, we need to talk.
Starting point is 00:34:56 I basically told him that he either tells Elena to cancel her trip and establish boundaries, or we are done. He said, quote, oh my God, are you still on this?" And said, I'll talk to her for future events. Let it go for fuck's sake. I said, no, this has been my life since we met. She and her baby are always in my hair. I get upset, you can vince me to let it go this time, then it happens again. I reminded him that last June, we hosted Elena's baby's birthday at our backyard and paid for everything, did everything, and
Starting point is 00:35:30 you told me to let it go. Where is the limit? Will she be invited to our wedding and be in the bridal party? Will she be at our honeymoon? Will she be at the delivery room when I give birth? He said, we are both tired. Why don't we talk tomorrow? I told him, I can't wait until then. Well, you ask Elena to cancel her trip and tell her about my boundaries. He said, quote, I can't make her do anything as she is no longer my wife. I can tell her you don't like her and you can't stand her. Happy. That's not what I said, bitch.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Please tell me you broke, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, and then tell me, tell me she broke up with him. Tell me she's not with him anymore because if I, no, tell me, please, what's the newest one? What's the newest one? Please tell me, because the must-do's before leaving a relationship. Please tell me you're leaving the relationship. Like that's disgusting. You're supposed, you are his pride,
Starting point is 00:36:21 you, you as his soon to be wife should be his priority. And I'm sorry, yes, Grayson isn't, you are literally being like the devil's advocate. Like you're saying like, hey, like I don't, I don't mind her being here, but we need to set up boundaries, and he's literally twisting your words to be like, oh, I'm gonna tell you know what, go right ahead.
Starting point is 00:36:43 You would go tell her that, wouldn't you? I'm sure you were out really late working and you were in at your ex-wife's house. You sack of shit. Oh, he's making me mad girl. You need to drop him or you need to get a frying pan and whack him senseless. Don't do that, that's like domestic abuse.
Starting point is 00:37:02 But like in my head, like, you can imagine doing it. I said, I don't feel like I'm ever going to be your wife. She is more your wife than all ever be. She just doesn't like to put out so you got me for that. That's how I feel. I feel so unloved. If we break up and Elena takes you back, would you get back together with her? He said, stop. You know how much I love you. Why are you saying this nonsense? Lying ass bitch. I asked again and again,
Starting point is 00:37:28 and he said, what do you want me to say? That if I'm single, will I work things out with Elena? I guess. I got my answer. That sack of how long were they together? Five years? Two and a half years. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 You need a slashes tires, poor sugar and a scast tank. Like a whole bunch of dolly ranchers, put those on his windshield, let him out. What else can you do? Set his front yard ablaze, nail, literally nail his furniture to the damn ceiling. Slashes tires, did I already say that?
Starting point is 00:37:57 Well, if he gets new tires, do it again. Spray paint his walls, smear shit on his walls, like I don't care, like he's disgusting, piece of sack of shit, that's what he is. That's what he is. Yeah, smear shit all over his walls. You wanna know why? He's probably used to it.
Starting point is 00:38:14 He's probably used to the smell of shit because he's full of it. I gave him the ring and said, I'll leave tomorrow morning. He said, what are you serious? Yes! What is going on tonight? He started saying how we were going to get married and have babies. He knows I left my previous boyfriend because he didn't want to get married and he begged
Starting point is 00:38:33 me to not leave before the holidays. He suggested staying and starting counseling in January. I told him, I really don't have the energy or time for this. He started crying. Good. I was awake all night crying off and on. That's gonna happen, girl. It's okay, let him go.
Starting point is 00:38:48 In the morning, he made me breakfast and hugged me. So uncomfortable. I would have punched him. Please don't end it permanently. Let's be in touch and work on our relationship. No. I told him no, I just can't. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Right. Again, he cried and left for work. Good. I talked to my brother in the morning and he said, he and his girlfriend will let me stay with them until I find my place. Good. I wrapped the Christmas gifts for Grayson, mostly and him and left them under the tree so they can open them on Christmas morning. That's sweet because I would have taken them and I would have returned them and gotten a fat check back. So he asked if I'd at least join them for Christmas morning. I said no. As for the tickets, they were on my credit card
Starting point is 00:39:25 I'll call air Canada today and see if I can transfer them to my brother and his girlfriend. I'm so grateful for letting me stay at their place What about the must-do's? Yeah, does she write that was that the must-do's are now? That is not the must-do so there's one more post. I'm so excited Before leaving the relationship, what are some must-do's? I, female, just ended an engagement. Yes, right before Christmas. My brother and his girlfriend, let me stay with them until I find my place hopefully soon.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I packed my clothes and stuff, canceled the subscriptions, Netflix, Disney, that were under my credit card, wrapped and left the gifts onto the tree so they can open it on Christmas morning without me, e-transfered half of the rent and utilities for December. My brother will pick up my stuff later, my books. If I bought something for the house, should I take it? Or is it his now since I bought it for the house and it's his house? I bought it for a fryer, an instant pot, and dice and vacuum.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Anything else I should do. Wait one, damn it. Okay. Take that vacuum, girl. Take it. You need to let me. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice. Take the dice money. And you know what? You can take it because you bought it with... Let me ask you a question, okay? Let me ask you a quick question, girl. If we live together, right? And say you bought a vacuum, and then you decided to move out. Are you going to now leave your vacuum that you bought with me,
Starting point is 00:40:59 your roommate? Not the Dyson. No, girl. Right. Not the Dyson too. The Dyson. Those are expensive. What are you on? Take it. Take all of it. Anything you bought, take it. You know what? Maybe take some more too.
Starting point is 00:41:12 That's the least two and a half years down the drain for a man who would gladly get back with his ex-wife of things to work out between you two. Take some more shit too. Even if you didn't buy it, I don't care. And if he tries to say that you stole it, let the private investigators come on over. Because you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna make, you're gonna get a separate bank account, gonna get a credit card on a separate bank account.
Starting point is 00:41:31 All right, all right. Then after you do that, you're gonna open up a storage unit and you're gonna put in all the shit that you stole into that storage unit. So if the cops come investigate, guess what? Not you, it's not in your house. Don't know where I went.
Starting point is 00:41:43 You must have gotten robbed by somebody else, that wasn't you. I like this plan. I am like, you bringing up that comment again. It is actually crazy now, like in hindsight, looking at how closely embedded she is into the family still, which again, I think is great in some ways, but for him to then admit,
Starting point is 00:42:02 yeah, I guess I'd work on it again if I was single. Why are you not doing that then? Yeah. Why even bother with this new relationship and stringing someone else along? Why not go for the person that you kind of want and are keeping in the wings? I, if my husband were soon to be husband, if we were in an argument and I was like, if I were to leave right now, would you make things work with her? And he was like, yeah, that's like your clear sign to go. That's your eye, oh my gosh, like I, I angry cry a lot. I feel like I would angry cry.
Starting point is 00:42:36 And if you even try to touch me, I'd be like, you need to back the hell up right now before I do something irograt. Like you are disgusting. I just can't believe him. I really can't. And then to like, just the time, like. And then nonchalant, like, the way he said it nonchalantly,
Starting point is 00:42:54 like it didn't mean much. And also on top of that, the whole like, oh, I'll just tell her that you fucking hate her. And you despise her and you don't want to round. Like, that's like you just said, I want to set boundaries. Like what is wrong with that? And you want to round like manipulative that's like you just said I want to set boundaries like what is wrong with that and you want to know what do you want to why I think he acted defensive because I don't think he wants those boundaries no he doesn't he got to have everything he wanted he got to have his cake and he needed to and honestly it sounds like an open relationship
Starting point is 00:43:23 it honestly yeah sounds like the first one we were talking about, except like, yeah, that's a, I don't get it. I don't get it. I really don't get it. Another one of this week's partners is Loomy. I don't know about you guys, but I'm a stress sweater. And the holidays are stressful. Watching other people open the presents you gave them, and there's nothing worse than feeling that sweat start dripping down your ugly sweater.
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Starting point is 00:44:48 So this next one is four days old. It is titled Am I the asshole for not letting a girl dressed as a slutty elf who ended up at my house borrow some sweats after she was uncomfortable and cold. Okay. I posted this on another sub yesterday, but they removed it because there was no interpersonal
Starting point is 00:45:06 conflict, so no one got to vote. I mean, the conflict was between me and the girl and me and my sister. There's a small update since I did. The original while I was at breakfast with my sister. My roommate is dating this total nut job named Sydney, and as far as I knew, they were broken up. Well, at like 2 a.m., he bombs through the door with Sydney and her friend and Toe, both dressed like slutty elves with way too much skin showing. My roommate Sydney went into his room and still haven't come out. I was playing Fortnite and the other girl said she was the
Starting point is 00:45:36 designated driver and was stuck, which she mined if she charged her phone and hung out until she knew what Sydney was doing. I said fine. Maybe 15 minutes later, she said something like, I know this is so weird for both of us, but I'm not here by choice. I just don't want to bail on my friend, but sitting here with a guy, I don't really know. In a bikini is weird and I'm cold. Do you have some sweats I can borrow? I see you every Monday and Wednesday, and I promise I'll give them back. I told her no, I wasn't comfortable with that. She asked if I at least had a blanket. I found one in my roommate's spare room,
Starting point is 00:46:13 but it was really small, and I said, I was sorry, it's the best I can do. She fell asleep on the couch, and I went to bed. My older sister came to pick me up for breakfast, and she saw the girl sleeping on the couch and asked why a half-naked girl is sleeping under a baby blanket. In the car, I told her what happened and she basically got so mad at me saying I had about 30 opportunities to be a really decent guy and I blew it.
Starting point is 00:46:37 She said it sounds like the girl was trying to do the right thing by her friend and I could have let her use sweats. I could have let her sleep in my bed while I took the couch. I could have said she should go home and I'll drive Sydney home, but basically I was an asshole because I left an apparently really nice girl in a vulnerable position and I didn't even care. She said that I need to grow up if I want to have friends and have some empathy if everyone girls to like me. She has no idea if that girl was in me or not, but I missed a great practice round of treating someone in a nice way that they may reciprocate.
Starting point is 00:47:10 When we got back to my house, my roommate, Sydney, and the girl were gone. There was a sticky note on my door that said, thank you for letting me stay here. Sorry, it was so weird. Please say hello sometime. Nat. My sister said this was even more proof that I acted like an anti-social weirdo, and she was just being nice. And the reason I've never had a girlfriend is the way I acted last night. Am I the asshole? Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm gonna go with you. And I only say yeah, because like if I had a random stranger in my house, obviously if they're one, the designated driver, two, they clearly are sober saying that they're cold. And they're one, the designated driver, two, they clearly are sober,
Starting point is 00:47:46 saying that they're cold. And they're like, hey, can I borrow sweatpants? I'll see you, I see you every Monday and Wednesday. Hell yeah, you can borrow sweatpants. And here, they are both in the same predicament practically. Like his roommate brought this girl over. This is the girl's friend. Like now she's left to just hang with you
Starting point is 00:48:05 because she like, what is she gonna do? Go on the room and just sit there while they do stuff together? And it's like, you had an opportunity. And I really do think it's just like, basic human compassion and empathy to be like, okay, like you are here and you're here for your friend.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Obviously you don't wanna be here. If you had the chance to go home, you'd be home right now. Yeah. Let me, like, at least make you a little comfortable and give you some sweatpants. Also, side note really quick, even if I didn't want to give her the sweatpants, say I didn't, I don't know her. I'm kind of like, eh, should I, if I went to go grab her a blanket and I realized that there wasn't a good enough blanket to give her, I'm immediately gonna grab her sweatpants and I'll take a blanket off my bed for her. Like that's absurd. It's the bare minimum. It's absurd.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Everyone sucks in the story except that poor girl. That girl and the fact that she left him a note. Oh, way too fucking nice. Like the fact that she left him a note being like thank you and like sorry for the predicament that we were both in like yeah you wonder why you don't have your sister's right. You wonder why you don't have a girlfriend now you know why. Yeah, and I get the vibe that OP might be a little socially awkward. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And you know social skills they take time they take take practice, you know, all that jazz, but like, this is such a basic human decency thing. And she directly asked him for sweatpants, a sweatshirt, like anything. Just give me something. I don't even just have to leave with it. Just let me wear something right now. Like, I'm fucking cold and a baby blanket's not going to do it. And the girl sucks. Like, as a girl going to hook up with someone,
Starting point is 00:49:46 I would have made sure my friend was taken care of. That's not right. Like, why would you leave first, like, you are bringing your friend somewhere that one, like, she is clearly uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. And two, it's like, now she's sitting in front of some guy in a bikini that she's freezing her ass off.
Starting point is 00:50:06 If I, even in the back of my mind, if I knew that we were going to be going somewhere after wherever they were at, I would at least have the common decency as a friend to be like, hey, before we go to this guy's house, do you wanna stop somewhere? Do you wanna stop at ours? You can get clothes.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Or do you wanna stop somewhere so we can get clothes like target and just get sweats really quick. Instead, you just kind of dropped the bomb on her being like, oh, we're here now. Well, even for me, when I've hooked up with guys and my friends have been with and maybe in a similar situation, I make the guy that I'm with,
Starting point is 00:50:45 give them comfy clothes too. Uh huh. Like, I hook up my friends, I take care of my friends, and then we all get to leave with nice sweatshirts. Yeah. But just like so scummy all around. I also don't really like that he kept like referring to her, I was like, oh, slutty, oh,
Starting point is 00:51:00 it's like just, I don't know. Maybe she was working. Like what, like, you don't know if she works at hooters or like, look, like your nine to five might not be the same as the next person. Like there's no need for judgment. Also, again, the fact that she, here's my thing. The fact that he kept referring to it
Starting point is 00:51:18 as like a slutty outfit when she clearly was like, hey, I'd like to change. Like this is a bit uncomfortable. Like, it's not like she was all over you, trying to be like, no, like she literally was like, hey, this is uncomfortable for me too, and I would love to, like, borrow sweats. And then to refer to her as a slutty elf
Starting point is 00:51:36 when you could have easily given her some clothes and like, people are stupid. Like, again. I think it's the judgment too. Right. It's like, it's all about the judgment because it's like both dressed like sludgy elves with way too much skin showing.
Starting point is 00:51:50 So you're judging them. Right. You think they're being immoral and inappropriate. They're showing too much skin for you. But now you're not doing anything to help fix it when you have a plethora of clothes and probably a million opportunities to help them out or help
Starting point is 00:52:06 her out. The least you could have done. For any boys listening out there, please invest in some cheap throw blankets for your house. Like, the fact that there wasn't a blanket, like, this is literally giving mattress on the floor no headboard, one duvet, confeder all in one thing that they've had since middle school. No, and like a corner desk with a computer and a monitor for PC gaming.
Starting point is 00:52:29 And then like your clothes, you don't even have a hamper. They're like on piles on the floor. That's what it gives. There's facial hair that's been shaved all over the bathroom. All over the sink. Lucky if you get toilet paper. Right, the bath, like the toilet, the room of the toilet is like not clean.
Starting point is 00:52:42 No, there's bejobs. There's bejobs. Yeah, there's no hand towel to dry your hands after you wash them. No, you have to dry them off on the shower curtain. There is like not clean. No, there's beards. There's beards. Yeah, there's no hand towel to dry your hands after you wash them. No, you have to dry them off on the shower curtain. There's probably not so. Yeah, no, absolutely not. No. The soap that you have to get is from there like three and one shampoo in the shower
Starting point is 00:52:56 and you have to pump it into your hand and wash your hands and then you have to dry it off on their plastic shower curtain because they don't have another shower curtain for covering. You could not pay me to use three in one shampoo. You, if I had a gun to my head, how no? Not with those curls. You have really nice little curls. Thank you. They're like tight. Yeah. Wow. Do you get a perm? Is that natural?
Starting point is 00:53:21 This is natural. I've never gotten a perm. Have you ever tried straightening it? I have. How did it look? See, my hair is thin naturally, so when it's straightened, there's no volume. So I think I'm really lucky that I have curly hair because the curly hair adds the volume. I mean, I have a lot of thin hair, which I also looked out in. It's not like I only have a little bit.
Starting point is 00:53:42 It's like, there's a lot, so it looks thick and full. But it's like, it's very nice. It's very nice. It's like fine. I wouldn't say it then. It's very fine. Okay, fine. That's a better word.
Starting point is 00:53:53 So the top comment on this one, Hi, OP. I'm an astrophysicist. Hopefully I make the cut of people you'll listen to. I'm also autistic and I've struggled with social situations. Helping others isn't a transaction, a tower society functions. One reason to help others is that one day, you'll need help from someone who won't personally benefit from helping you.
Starting point is 00:54:13 The situation isn't a problem for you to put in a spreadsheet and analyze. You can't treat real life as an equation to be solved, or a philosophical debate. The fact that so many people are voting you're the asshole already tells you that you were wrong in this situation. Please get some support to help you learn how to navigate social settings. It sounds like you need therapy and to be screened for no divergent conditions.
Starting point is 00:54:35 You're going to need social skills to live a good life. They'll help you find people to collaborate with as working with someone with no social skills is a nightmare. Learning social skills takes effort, but it will improve your life and help you get the things you want. It's not easy, but it's worth it. She just started to filth.
Starting point is 00:54:52 I love that person. I like, okay, so as an OT, I actually used to work on addressing social skills a lot. OT? Occupational therapist. Got it. So I worked in a mental health setting and with like a lot of mental health conditions, you kind of like regress because you're so focused on like more basic functions. So like social etiquette, might slip, social awareness might slip. It might be difficult to you know maintain conversations with people, things like that. So I worked on social skills a lot.
Starting point is 00:55:18 And it is, it's a tough little thing to address. If you've never really had to do it in like a specific way that society can engage with Like your family know how to accommodate you, right? Like your sister can talk shit to you and like you understand where she's coming from. Where is that coming from a random stranger? Like that's probably not the best way to go. Like yeah. Yeah, so I think that was a really nice response. Honestly, someone replies to it and goes, this comment is a great example of an empathetic response. They related to you by imagining your perspective
Starting point is 00:55:53 and giving you info and advice without any personal benefit to themselves. And then so there is a little update. Okay. Edit. I said hello to Natalie this morning. She was very nice and accepted my apology and also said she was sorry for invading my space on Friday.
Starting point is 00:56:08 This girl's way too nice. She talks a lot, which I guess I would usually find pretty annoying, but I didn't seem to mind with her. It turns out we both have a break between classes, so we just stood there talking for about 20 minutes. Well, she talked. I just nodded my head. When it was time to leave, she said it was really nice conversation with which made zero science because I didn't say much,
Starting point is 00:56:33 but I went against my instinct to correct her. She said she'd like to do it again sometime. I said I would too. It's a start. There you go. This is great. Am I the asshole? Yeah, but you're the asshole who's improving upon yourself. Okay. It's all that matter. It's so cute. Okay. I don't, I still, he's got a lot of work to do.
Starting point is 00:56:54 But you can tell there's like probably some neurodivergency here. Yeah. Because there's a post that was just two days ago. I'm 22 working on my master's degree in math, have zero experience with girls by choice. Does this girl like me? It was removed by the moderators of our slash dating. And yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Why was it removed? I don't, the moderators have certain rules that they find they need to follow. And so a lot of posts get removed, but it definitely was in relation to it. Oh, someone commented, ask the slutty elf on a date. Also, don't call her a slutty elf. Right.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Eight down. Yeah, so yeah, there's a couple of comments from OP. Someone goes, do you like or dislike women in general? Do you consider yourself asexual? And OP goes, I don't really dislike anyone, but I don't really have time for people in general since I care about my job, my school, video games, and running. So yeah, he did say like to Fortnite. Someone asked, are you a conservative Christian?
Starting point is 00:58:05 The slut shaming is really weird. Calling a girl a slut for wearing an outfit you consider too skimpy is a bit peak Bible, Thumpur energy. Opie goes, no, I am absolutely agnostic, but lean atheist. I would never be a date, diast, deist. I would never be a deist of any kind
Starting point is 00:58:22 unless I were to see data to prove it. So I think, I think O.P. is just, you know, a little quirky, little narrow, narrow, spicy. Uh-huh. We're, I'm too. I'm in the boat. We're all in a boat. It might be sinking a little, but we have another boat. To my boat.
Starting point is 00:58:40 I've been plugging holes all week. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. I've been plugging holes, scooping out water with buckets like. That's a. Yeah. No, yeah. I've been plug-and-holes, scooping out water with buckets. Like, that's a good tactic. Thanks, yeah. Yeah, I wanna learn how to siphon.
Starting point is 00:58:51 Siphon? Yeah. Like, you can siphon gas out of someone's tank with a tube. Oh, okay. I kind of know how to do that, but I. We're gonna go in the parking lot after this. But it can like, no, but like, you have to be really careful because when you're siphoning, like, sometimes it,
Starting point is 00:59:07 you eat it. Yeah, you have to, like, pull your mouth away at a certain point. Okay, I don't know why I'm even saying this, but like, you have to pull your mouth at a certain point because you can get gasoline in your mouth. Okay, you're gonna show me how it's done.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I can't wait. It's actually okay. I'm kidding. Can I, like, explain it to you? Yeah, I know it's all about like the pressure and osmosis or some shit. So you know how like say you have like a bendy straw and you like have it in one cup
Starting point is 00:59:35 and then it's like longer on one side and then shorter on the other. It's kind of like that where it's like the bend and then the pressure and it causes the water from one side to. Science is so cool. I love science. Okay, moving a lot.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Okay, I'm ready. Another one of this week's partners is Skylight Frames. It's Crunch Time, baby, and if you're still looking for the perfect gift for a couple people, Skylight Frames could be your perfect solution. I'm all about meaningful gifts, which is why I gave a Skylight frame to my mom a couple people, Skylight Frames could be your perfect solution. I'm all about meaningful gifts, which is why I gave a Skylight Frame to my mom a couple of years ago. I preloaded it with all of these pictures of our family, her partner, our ponies, and gifted it to her.
Starting point is 01:00:14 It was a super meaningful gift, and it's still up and displayed in her home. And multiple family members can hop on and send photos to the same frame. This is also a great way to keep some special moments in your life private and not on social media. Say maybe you're a new parent and you want to still have grandma and grandpa feel close but not post your baby online. And with Skylight Frame, satisfaction is guarantee. They're so confident you're going to love this frame. They offer free 120 day returns. So if you're ready to try it, as a special limited time offer for our listeners, get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame. When you go to SkylightFrame.com slash takes, to get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, just go to SkylightFrame.com
Starting point is 01:00:55 slash takes. That's SKY L I G H T F R A M E dot com slash takes. Link is also in the description. R-A-M-E dot com slash takes. Link is also in the description. Trigger warning for poop on this next one, friends. The story is safe, but our conversation after is not. Okay, this next one is only a day old, piping hot. Careful. Okay, I'm ready. Careful. It is titled, Am I the asshole for telling my husband
Starting point is 01:01:22 that he has to let my dad witness his colonoscopy? Her father has to watch him get a colonoscopy, which essentially is when they put a camera like Up your butt. Yeah. Yeah. It's very good. I think everyone should do it. I Just had a just in case no one knew what that was. Mm-hmm. That was great. My mother-in-law wants to be in the room when I give birth. She is an unpleasant and pushy woman and none of her own daughters have allowed her near them when they gave birth. My sister-in-laws are all at least 12 years older
Starting point is 01:01:53 than my husband and are all done having kids. I am the last chance for my mother-in-law to see the birth of a grandchild. I have zero interest in letting that judgmental old woman see me down there. She has objected to me from the beginning because I have tattoos and I'm not in any way interested in being a stayed-home wife. I have a lot of tattoos and a career I plan on continuing. And I have tattoos down there that are none of her business.
Starting point is 01:02:21 My husband is her baby boy. He is a good husband and has stood up for me against her many times. When she tried to interfere with our wedding, he put his foot down. When she tried to convince him that we should move to his hometown where he could work from, but I would not be able to find an employer in my line of work, he said no, because my career is important to me. And while we can live off of his earnings and the cost of living is lower in his hometown, our combined earnings are much better altogether. She has started crying to him that all she wants is to see a grandchild being born. All of her friends have experienced it, and she wants it. He is starting to crumble under her emotional blackmail. So I made it clear that the only way I would agree was if,
Starting point is 01:03:06 before my birth, my husband made arrangements for my father to witness him getting a colonoscopy. He would need to ride anyways, so two birds once don't, you know. He said, I'm being ridiculous, but I said none of my brothers would let my dad see them getting a camera shoved up their ass, and he felt left out. He finally understood my point, but his mother is upset that I used such a stupid comparison. She says that it isn't the same thing at all. I offered to change it to me watching her get a Brazilian wax and she hasn't called me in a week.
Starting point is 01:03:40 I know seen a baby born might be her dream, but I am not interested. Am I the asshole? No. No, I love this. I don't think you're the asshole at all. No. I'm sorry. My whole thing is like, she, first of all,
Starting point is 01:03:56 yes, she's your mother-in-law, but that's a very intimate setting. I would understand if she wanted to come in after you gave birth, and afterwards, hold the baby or even see the grandchild or her grandchild. But for her to like be staring down there, I, if you don't want someone to stare at your naked body part, especially in such a, especially in such a high stress situation, if I had the capabilities of giving birth and I didn't like my mother-in-law,
Starting point is 01:04:30 also, like, your children didn't allow you to watch them give birth for a reason. Like, maybe you need to change yourself and stop judging others before you think that they're just gonna welcome you into a room with open arms. Like, I get it, but like, I always say this, like, there needs to be, I will provide you respect
Starting point is 01:04:48 if you provide me respect. Yeah. And like, I feel like the last thing any woman wants to worry about is having their evil mother-in-law in the room with them while they're giving birth, staring at their vage while also having to worry about giving birth. I know.
Starting point is 01:05:07 No. It's such an intimate vulnerable position to be in and so much can go wrong. And I mean, I saw someone on a two-how-takes post that they were like, I was laboring for 36 hours. And to spend that amount of time with someone that you're not really crazy about, that is probably giving you more stress. No, you're supposed to be remaining calm, trying to be as comfortable as you possibly can when you're shoving a watermelon out of your vagina. Like, it is not a spectator sport. And we have said that so many times on
Starting point is 01:05:43 this show, it is, it's not meant for other people to watch. It's meant to be an intimate, safe little bubble for you. This is your bubble. When the baby's there, then you can come in and maybe say hi after, but it doesn't need to be this big show. Yeah, it's not like a spectacle for you to watch. No.
Starting point is 01:06:01 It's, and back out what you were saying when you were like talking about comfortability, I was also thinking about that. Like some births take a hot minute, especially because this is her first born, right? It sounds like that. Because I know I've heard at least that like your first born child, like the first one you have, usually that labor is the longest. And like I can't imagine being stuck in a room
Starting point is 01:06:25 trying to remain calm while pushing again a watermelon outside of my badge while having to know and while knowing that someone I don't like is in the room judging me. Nobody wants to be just especially when you're that vulnerable. It's pretty cool. Maybe if you weren't such a judgmental biotch, you would be able to stay in the room. Oh, well. And as for your husband, I'm kind of a little upset that like he was upset with you for saying no. And that's simply because if I was married to someone again, and I was like, I don't want her seeing me and my like lady areas down there.
Starting point is 01:07:03 And he was like, but she hasn't had the opportunity before. Yeah, with your blood-related sisters and for good reason. Why don't you ask them why they didn't want her in the room? Yeah, there's a reason. It's very clear. What do you think of the comparisons? Because I felt like either the colonoscopy or even better watching the mother-in-law get a Brazilian wax.
Starting point is 01:07:26 I think those are honestly like on a scale of one to ten those might be a four where birth is like a ten. Like those were like really easy. Those are the right. Yeah. And my head I was like when the mom was like, oh wouldn't the mom say like, oh that's like not fair that she would like compare it to a colonoscopy. Didn't she say? Oh, the husband said that. Yeah. He said it's ridiculous. But he also said that didn't his mom say something to about that?
Starting point is 01:07:50 Like, she got upset because... That I use such a stupid comparison. Yeah. You know what? The fact that like, you wouldn't let my dad watch you get a colonoscopy or the fact that you wouldn't let me watch you get a Brazilian wax should say enough. This is all I need to know. That should say enough, because what you said, like standing in a room,
Starting point is 01:08:09 while someone gets a Brazilian wax is one thing, watching somebody's vage stretch open. I know, and sometimes people tear. Right, and people tear, sometimes people poop themselves. And like if you can't accept having someone watch you have a Brazilian wax, like put yourself in her shoes, like put yourself in the wife's shoes.
Starting point is 01:08:29 No, I think if that was the deal, I would take it. I'd be like, cool. The most embarrassing part of the Brazilian is when they do the butt strip. And sometimes you'll get a person that doesn't know to lay on your tummy and spread the cheeks. And so, oh my God, this is so bad. Have you ever gone to Brazilian?
Starting point is 01:08:46 No. Oh, okay. I've never had a wax ever. Oh, the butt strip is actually like the least painful, but there's one person I went to where they did the butt strip and they were like, okay, put your feet up, like you're in stir-ups at the gyno, and then rock back.
Starting point is 01:09:00 So it was like, everything was up in the air and my ass hole was just like shooting at her and I was like, like curled up in the air and my ass hole was just like shooting at her and I was like like curled up like literally like okay and I was like Do you usually have people do this for the butt strip and she goes? Yeah, it's really easy and I go no It's not I go you should actually just have people lay on their stomach Use both hands to spread their cheeks while you apply the wax and pull the strip and she goes oh Yeah, that would be easier wouldn't it? After I already just fucking rolled back,
Starting point is 01:09:28 and now you're in like weird yoga position so while she's stripping hair out of your asshole. Well, and it's like you didn't really see that much of my vagina when we were waxing, but you just fucking got a cootershot. You saw everything there. But strip roll. I was bad.
Starting point is 01:09:44 I would've been petrified. See, I don't like, I couldn't get a waxing done. The only reason I can't is because I've seen YouTube clips of people laughing when they walk into waxing strips. The people who are supposed to be applying the wax, they laugh when they walk in. And I need you to know that if I went to go get a waxing and I was sitting there and someone came in
Starting point is 01:10:07 and then laughed at my naked body, I would have to be sent to a psych ward immediately. You would have to up all of my mess. You were sending me to jail. And I would have to have someone watching me 24-7 for at least a year. Because I would be so like distraught upset and not gonna lie suicidal.
Starting point is 01:10:28 I haven't seen videos like that, that's terrible. I've seen them all over my TikTok. Are they fake? No, they're like real. Damn, those people should get fired. That's really sad. I've never felt uncomfortable at a wax. And I love, I've gone to a bunch of different places,
Starting point is 01:10:44 but like European wax center, they use like the special wax, so you don't need the paper. And it comes off easier, like less painful. I tried at home sugaring nightmare. Oh, God. But yeah, it's a process. But top comment on this one is giving birth is not a spectator sport. No means no. Right. Next comment. My sister-in-law was worried about people coming to the hospital. So she just straight up didn't tell anyone when she was going into labor.
Starting point is 01:11:13 We got a text a couple of days after the birth that had a picture of the baby. There are some situations where you just got to not put up with all the bullshit. No, and I would even say like, if mother in law is really that concerned or if she keeps it up being like a biatch, just don't tell her. Like I would fully give birth and then wait a few days just like this person's was it sister in law did or sister?
Starting point is 01:11:39 Yeah, sister in law. Yeah, I would do the same exact thing. And I'd be, I would, in my opinion, I'd be like, if you keep pressuring me to see me give birth, if you keep on doing this, I won't even tell you after I've given birth. I'll let you, I'll give it a few days before you even know that your grandchild has been born. So why don't you allow me to have a comfortable
Starting point is 01:12:02 birthing process? And if you really wanna see your grandchild after he or she is born, then maybe shut the hell up. Yeah, we about to be no contact lady otherwise. Yeah, right. And I keep thinking about his sisters, like her husband's sisters
Starting point is 01:12:16 who also didn't want her in the room. Like they didn't want her in the room for good damn reason. Also like, I wanna know what it is. Being like her even being the like daughter-in-law, like they're not even blood related. And the fact that her mother-in-law makes her so uncomfortable. Like what?
Starting point is 01:12:35 Like the entitlement of the older generation is baffling to me. Like they just feel entitled to this like respect or oh, because I'm your mother-in-law. I have, I deserve to be in the room and I deserve to watch you give birth. Know the hell you do not. What you deserve to do is shut the hell up. Please and thank you.
Starting point is 01:12:53 Yeah. Rude ass. Yeah, there's a no I like this heat. I like it. You're bringing it today. There's quite a few comments from OP. Honestly, a lot of people are calling her childish. Who?
Starting point is 01:13:05 Like someone was like, you should have just told your mother-in-law a nice way instead of like trying to troll her. Like be a grown-up and just tell her you're not comfortable with it. And OP goes, I did that several times. That's right. It didn't work.
Starting point is 01:13:17 She did do that. She even set it in the post. She set it in the post. What like, I understand if people are having like an opposing position on this one, like that's perfectly fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if you're in opposition, it's okay to also know that you're wrong. You can have an opinion no matter how wrong it is.
Starting point is 01:13:38 We don't mind. I agree. OP does have a sense of humor and I'll try to post the link for this one, but someone goes, the only person you're being an asshole to is your own father. He does not want to see your husband's ass get penetrated. And OP goes, don't kink shame, not cool. Wait down with that one. I want to film my colonoscopy.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Put it on only fans. Well, I think I'm going to put it just on regular YouTube for, well, yeah. You're not going to see my ass, but like, you know what I mean? Like, you'll see me like, like, caked and like- Don't they make you like, fart afterwards too? You have to. Otherwise, you can't go home. Do they have to be in the room with you while you fart?
Starting point is 01:14:19 I don't know. I wonder if they make you prove it. Like how do you, well, they probably, they'd be bloating, right? Well, like, you're so cleansed out because you like, really like, you have to like, you have to like cleanse. There's like a colon cleanse procedure. And so you're like, you're pooping a lot. The couple. Oh, I know I've had, I've had, they before. I haven't had a colon escape, but did you like the prep? No, my best friend, Zaya has had one before. I haven't had a colonoscopy, but... Did you like the prep? No, my best friend, Zaya, has had one,
Starting point is 01:14:47 or I don't think she had a colonoscopy, but she had to do a colonoscopy prep before one of her surgeries. And I also have my mom has gotten colonoscopies before. So they would come home with these big jugs. And they would be drinking it. And my mom would, I remember my mom would really, and she was like, Spencer,
Starting point is 01:15:07 because we had a bathroom in the basement and we had one upstairs. She said, for the rest of the night, if you gotta go, you're going downstairs. And I'd be like, okay, because it was like, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Like, it's like, if she had a run down,
Starting point is 01:15:23 if I was gonna call an ask me done, and I had a run all the way downstairs, somebody gets some rug shampooer because I'm not making it. I almost put my pants the other day. Really? This is by far the closest I've ever been, and I have IBS, so I have a lot of close calls,
Starting point is 01:15:39 but oh my God, we were in London, and we were at like Notting Hill, and it's like this little antique market. And like, there's all these little, like, tables set up down the street. Yeah. There's no public bathrooms. And so I was like super constipated for like two days
Starting point is 01:15:54 and I had a bunch of coffee and nothing had really worked. And you know, I was like, okay, well, just not happening, whatever. So I had another coffee from like Joe and the juice. And all of a sudden, we're walking up this hill and I'm like, it felt like a moment from Bridesmaids where I was like, we gotta go now.
Starting point is 01:16:11 And I'm like, oh my God. And I'm like, hunching over like my stomach. There's knives, sharp shooting pains, and I go, I need a bathroom. I need a bathroom. I was running up and down that street, running. And I end up like finding a random little restaurant. The hostess stops me and she's like, can I help you?
Starting point is 01:16:28 And I go, yeah, we're just gonna grab drinks at the bar. She's like, oh, yeah, there's nothing available, but you could try sitting outside. And I'm like, okay, cool. Restroom, that way, run downstairs, go to the bathroom. There's only two individual, like, stall door things. One was for guys, one was for girls,
Starting point is 01:16:47 I go in the girl one, I blew it up. Like, and the European toilets, like they're built so different, I had to wipe the back of the toilet. It exploded. Oh my God. It literally exploded. And then all of a sudden,
Starting point is 01:17:03 I hear people knocking at the door, and I'm like, oh my god. No, no. I just need another minute. Like I just can't physically move yet. I'm not ready. And they're like knocking. They're banging. And I'm like, sorry, I'm in here. And so I finally like finish up. I wipe it up and I thought I ran out of toilet paper. But when I got off the toilet, I look behind me and there was more. There's more. There's more. Thank God. But I got to flush it. It doesn't go down. No. The toilet was clogged. No That's like you are you're living my absolute nightmare. Yeah, it gets to worse. It gets worse. I literally flushed it 10 times
Starting point is 01:17:40 It still wasn't going down and I'm like there's there's like bin and I'm like, I'm not sticky my hand in there because I know we've had some listeners right in. They're like, I clogged a toilet, I stuck my hand in there, scooped the poop out and took it home with me in my purse. I was not doing that. I would have, oh my god, no. Yeah, so I'm just like, I'm trying to flush
Starting point is 01:17:59 and they keep banging on the door and so I open it. I'm like, hi, girls, I'm so sorry, like the toilet's clogged in here. And they're like, oh, well, we'll just go in the guys then. And I'm like, okay, like, you could have done that from the get go. Yeah, I'm like, sorry, I shut the door, I keep flushing it. And I get it mostly gone, but there was still
Starting point is 01:18:14 like two little bits floating. And I just like, I had to leave. I was like, I'm sorry, like, I really tried, but it's mostly good. And I ran away before the girl, because it could talk to me when she came out. I've only ever almost shit my pants one time. The other time I almost shit my pants
Starting point is 01:18:30 was in the third grade and I actually did. Wow. What did you do? I didn't know this, but I had the stomach bug. And I remember that morning I was like complaining about my stomach to my mom. How do I even put this? Like my mom is like.
Starting point is 01:18:46 A saint. I remember you talking about her on the last. Like I love her, but in that same breath, like she's also very like, we're polar opposites. So like she's a Scorpio, I'm a Leo. Oh, oh. And like when she gets hurt, my pain tolerance and my mom's pain tolerance
Starting point is 01:19:04 is like completely different. And I remember I was in like the third grade and I told my mom that my stomach hurt and she was like, oh, just go to the bathroom. So I go to the bathroom and then I was like, okay, I feel better. We get in the car to go, like she's gonna drop me off at school and I was like, my stomach really hurts
Starting point is 01:19:21 and she was like, do you have to fart? And I was like, I think so and I left it up my cheek and I fully shit my pants. And I literally, my mom had to like, mind you it was winter time in New Jersey. The heat is on in the car. Windows are rolled up. So my mom has to turn the car around, roll down the windows, freezing.
Starting point is 01:19:40 We have to get back home. I am running inside. And then yeah, I did shit myself. And the other time I almost shit myself and the other time I almost shit myself was about a few months ago and you know that place like creation where they make like Smoothie we just had that today they have those poop drinks They have a poop drink Do not
Starting point is 01:19:59 Do not drink it. Is it a date shake? It it like it's one of the pre-made ones and the glass bottles. Yeah. I told, I went with my friend, Emmy, and I told her, I was like, I really, I really want to try one of these because my stomach has been off recently. So I was like, let me just have one. I sat there drank the entire thing and Emmy was just taking her time eating and I'm like, Emmy, we've got to go. And I was like, I'm almost in eating and I sit and know.
Starting point is 01:20:22 You're done either. You're done eating or you're taking it with you because we got to go. We got the one in large, man. We walked there. We were on the one on Highland. Oh, yeah. And we walked there. So we had a walk back home.
Starting point is 01:20:36 I'm actually holding my ass. Like I actually was like, if anyone saw me walking home, I'm so sorry to you. I actually was like, oh my God, there were moments where I actually had to tell Emmy to stop. I had to grab a tree and I had to just sit there and clench my accent. I was, I had to, because I had a grip something. I couldn't bend down and grab, so I literally would have
Starting point is 01:21:00 to like grip a tree or grip a pole and I would literally just stand there clenching my ass cheeks and I was like, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, and then I got home and it was just, thank God I made it. Wow, we should make adult diapers more socially acceptable. Oh my God, I 100% agree. I would feel so much more like confident and safe.
Starting point is 01:21:20 Safe. Yeah. Less anxiety when I drink a coffee in public. Yeah. Okay, I will work on that. Okay, I drink a coffee in public. Yeah. Okay. We'll work on that. Okay. Moving along. We should. Yeah. Another one of this week's partners is Hello Fresh. With Hello Fresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. So avoid the holiday chaos, avoid fighting over those turkeys.
Starting point is 01:21:42 Let Hello Fresh make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. And yeah, affordable. With HelloFresh, you can actually save money. It's cheaper than takeout. Trust me, I've put that to the test. And with these pre-portioned ingredients, you're not going to waste food. And you're going to find something for everyone in your family with HelloFresh, even the pickiest of eaters.
Starting point is 01:22:00 There's over 45 recipes and more than 100 seasonal add-on items to choose from every week. I actually thought ahead and ordered my Hello Fresh Box 2 Minnesota, so I'll have some great meals. I actually love and leave me feeling good. Me, just in my dad, we've probably tried over 60 Hello Fresh recipes at this point and every single one has tasted amazing. So go to HelloFresh.com, slash THT free and use code THT free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash THT free with code THT free. Okay, one last one. Okay. I'm going to let you choose. I'm ready. So option one, am I the asshole for telling my sister-in-law that if her service dog can't
Starting point is 01:22:47 ignore children, he isn't a service dog. Okay. Am I the asshole for telling my wife she's not famous? Or three, am I the asshole for refusing to go in another room so my fiance and the baby could sleep alone? Let's do the last one. The last one sounds a little, a little interesting. Okay.
Starting point is 01:23:07 So, am I the asshole for refusing to go in another room so my fiance and the baby could sleep alone? My fiance Jen, 29 female, just gave birth to our daughter two months ago. She's strictly breastfeeding, so as you can imagine, she gets far less sleep than I do. During the day, I help with changing or holding her, but all feedings are up to Jen. The baby outright refuses a bottle. We have tried several times, but ultimately, we are both okay with this. Anyways, I'm kind of an independent startup video game developer.
Starting point is 01:23:39 I did make one video game two years ago, but it honestly wasn't that great. So while I do get revenue from it, it's definitely not much, or even a livable wage. This time around, however, I'm working with four other people, and the game is turning out great. I also work a 9-5. But after getting home, having dinner with my fiance and looking after the baby for a while, I jump on and work on the game. For the past two to three nights, I've been up until 1-2am working on the game and I've been
Starting point is 01:24:09 ultra tired. I snore like a maniac when I'm tired. It's super embarrassing because I truly sound like a Mack truck. But yesterday, the baby had her two months shots and she was so fussy. Cryed way more than normal. It was super hard for my fiance to get her to sleep. I finally went to bed around 2 a.m. and my fiance immediately asked me to sleep on the couch
Starting point is 01:24:32 so I wouldn't wake the baby with my snoring. I said no. I was so tired and the couch is not comfortable at all. I had to work early. I wanted to sleep. She didn't fight it, but she called me a fucking prick and walked out of the room with the baby. I woke up this morning to the baby in the
Starting point is 01:24:49 crib in the nursery, and my fiance asleep on the floor with no pillows or blankets. She still won't talk to me. Am I the asshole? Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Hi, hi, yes, you are. You are the asshole and let me tell you why. You, your wife, first of all, went through hours of labor. You have a baby that is fussy after shots. Who, and I already know like I've never had a child before. So rest assured, like I'm not speaking from experience,
Starting point is 01:25:23 but I have cousins and family members who have had kids and each and every one of them says, like the moment your baby sleeps, that is like your time to relax. Like even when they do fall asleep, there's not that guarantee where they're going to knock out and stay asleep, okay. Fact of the matter is, you're a loud ass snorer, okay?
Starting point is 01:25:42 Your wife having to deal with a fussy baby and baby feeding. Let's talk about that too, because breast feeding can cause your nipples to crack, can cause your nipples to bleed, especially if they get dry after the breast feeding. So your wife is probably already uncomfortable. You saying, oh, I'm tired because I was working on a game. You're tired?
Starting point is 01:26:02 Your wife just went through hours of labor and it's now up until who knows when trying to put the baby to sleep, breastfeeding, and you're gonna say, oh, I refuse to leave the bed because I need to wake up early in the morning and I'm sorry if I snore. Well guess what, you're not gonna sleep, you asshole, if you wake up the baby. Actually, you probably will. You'll probably sleep through the baby crying and your wife will have to wake up and she'll have to take care of the baby. And I wouldn't talk to you either.
Starting point is 01:26:29 I would have left the room with the baby and I would have also slept on the floor in the baby's room because there is no way in how that baby's going to sleep through your loud ass snoring, Shrek. That's who you are, Shrek. You know what, if you really, if you really, in fact, the way the fact that you even had the audacity, the audacity to ask M.I.V. asshole, yeah, you are.
Starting point is 01:26:55 Holy shit, like have some respect for your wife. How'd it range to see you? Like literally, like how, like what type of question is that? You being like, oh, but the couch is uncomfortable. Will your wife just slept on the floor with the baby in the crib? You could have slept on the couch. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:15 Your douche bag. Sorry. That was, yeah, I think you said it all. There's, there's a lot of issues here. I mean, the baby just got shots. It's fussy and really not doing well for one night. They're sleeping on the couch one night. You know you have a nine to five job. The video game development is kind of like a side hobby. You know you have to get up early for work. You being super, super tired. Probably, you know, it's a mess of your own making.
Starting point is 01:27:43 That's literally like you had the option of being like, I will go to bed at a reasonable hour, especially after the baby. And you did. My baby had her shots. And you know being tired makes you snore like that. Your baby's fussy. You think you'd put two and two together.
Starting point is 01:27:58 You did this for yourself, to yourself. So you should be the one willing to compromise. You have your wife breastfeeding constantly. That's waking up every hour, every two hours. However often the baby needs to feed. And she should get that sleep. She should get that bed, that comfortable bed and the crib in the room and whatever else.
Starting point is 01:28:16 Like you sleeping on a couch for one night because you did this, you chose to be extremely tired. I like entitlement. So entitled. So entitled. That's the word I would'm like, entitlement. So entitled. So entitled. That's the word I would use to describe him. He feels entitled. And it's like, oh, well, I'm helping hold the baby and do this.
Starting point is 01:28:32 And I get when someone is choosing to breastfeed exclusively, that is kind of the role of the dad early on, especially when you have a baby that can't take a bottle, refuses to take a bottle, whatever it is. But then to him be like, oh, well, we're both fine with it. Okay, well, of course you're gonna be because you get off the hook of like any extra work. But then that means you need to accommodate your partner a little more.
Starting point is 01:28:53 This is a season for your partner, new mom, breastfeeding. This baby's two months old and you can't make a small adjustment and accommodate her. You're not a very good partner. Yeah, not at all. That's like, and it's just, also, I, it's not even that they chose to strictly breastfeed. It was simply the fact that you even said it yourself,
Starting point is 01:29:18 your baby, she won't take from the bottle. You said you've tried multiple times, and that's just not how, so you already know that your daughter's strictly breastfeed, strictly breast feeds. She had her shots. She's been fussy all day. When she sleeps, it's a miracle. You chose, ready to stay up late knowing damn well you snore like a dragon. Bitch, you snore like Sh dragon, but you snore like Shrek. You snore like the green giant. I'd be getting a hotel.
Starting point is 01:29:48 I cannot deal with people snoring. I can't. I absolutely cannot do that. I would have literally like, you know what I would have done? You know what I would have done if he tried to pull some shit like that. I'd say, you know what?
Starting point is 01:30:02 See, this is why I can't like, I probably, I would have ripped the blankets off of him on the bed. The fact that she slept with nothing on the floor, those blankets on that bed would have been gone. I got. Oh, I would have done this. Instead, I would have stayed in the room with him. And anytime he attempted to snore, I would cover his nose and I would cover his mouth. And then he would wake up struggling to breathe. I would let go. And I'd say rise and shine, be out. And then I'd be like, try to go back to sleep again. Let him go back to sleep, starts to snore, covers nose and his mouth.
Starting point is 01:30:30 He starts strangulating, he wakes up. And I'm gonna say, go on the couch now, because I will keep doing that until you stop snoring. And if you don't stop snoring. He's a CPAP. This is like aggressive snoring. Maybe he has a sleep disorder. He needs a CPAP machine.
Starting point is 01:30:45 It's aggressive. I am so mad for her. I just, I can't get over this. So top comment, you're the asshole. And anyone who voted not the asshole because two new stressed out parents is also an asshole. What? So this person thinks he's the asshole.
Starting point is 01:31:01 Oh, okay, okay. I was about to be like, what? So are you saying, okay, keep going. Do they know what combos required for a breastfeeding mother to keep and maintain a milk supply? Sleep, no stress, proper diet and water. The man knows he snores and snores hard. He willingly stayed awake to work on a video game
Starting point is 01:31:19 that is not his primary income until 2am, knowing he needed to be up full well for his other job in the morning. While he knew his daughter got shots and was in a fussy mood, his wife struggled to get the baby down once already. So he goes into the room and starts snoring and then wakes the baby up and refuses to leave when asked because he's tired. Uh, boohoo, poor you. Your wife has no choice to be up with the baby, feed the baby, et cetera. You had a choice to go to bed early and you chose not to. That aside, are you aware of the percentage of accidents, baby drops, heightened risk of PPA slash PPD
Starting point is 01:31:51 that a new mother goes through when sleep deprived? That right there is reason enough alone to get your fucking dusty, crummy, shitty ass out of that bed and on a couch. If you can avoid incurring postpartum mood disorders, Dusty, crummy, shitty ass out of that bed and on a couch. If you can avoid incurring postpartum mood disorders, come on, dude. And it's like, you're doing nothing. You're doing nothing.
Starting point is 01:32:14 I'm gonna be, he is acting like a child. Like you are acting like an entitled child who their parents aren't allowing them to buy a toy at the store. That's what you're acting like. You're acting like a little kid who just put their foot on there like, that's no fair. Shut up and go sleep on the damn couch.
Starting point is 01:32:32 And you'll be lucky in the morning. I'm still here with the baby. A annoying ass bitch. Yep. You'll be lucky if I don't get a hotel room. That comment had almost 41.5 K. Right. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:32:44 Next comment can confirm just how easy it is to drop the baby when sleep deprived. By the third night of no more than two hours of sleep, if that I did accidentally drop our baby, he slipped out of my arms when I was putting him down. Thankfully, it was only a couple of centimeters and he was okay, but it scared the heck out of me. By the fourth night, I was hallucinating.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Oh, that's happened to me. Oh, P, you can't leave this all up to your fiance. I'm managing because my husband is absolutely amazing, and we've worked out ways of sharing the night feeds. So neither of us are zombies. You have some serious apologizing to do. Your game might need to wait so you can step up and help. Right.
Starting point is 01:33:19 And someone else kind of goes on in the same thing. I'm extremely passionate about new moms getting proper sleep because a close friend of mine dropped her baby in the bathtub because she was not enough from being sleep deprived and the water sound was so relaxing. The sound of her newborn three-week-old baby smacking the bathtub is what will corrupt. She had a partner who did not help her and the baby
Starting point is 01:33:40 and thought she was being dramatic about saying she's so tired. The baby was okay after a full trip to the ER, lots of tests, and an overnight stay. Baby left with a little bump on the head and some bruises, as a now two and a half year old, an extreme, deep fear of water, touching her face and being submerged in water. We obviously don't know if this is a personality thing or is anything to do with the situation.
Starting point is 01:34:03 That just goes to show we remember a lot more than we think. Subconsciously. Trauma. Subconsciously. Well, there were no comments from him. I hope we get an update eventually. It's still pretty new post. Me too.
Starting point is 01:34:17 So I hope we at least get an update where it's like, yeah, I realize I was the asshole. Here's what we've been doing since because that's just so unfair. And yeah. Be careful who you have kids with people. Well, here's what we've been doing since, because that's just so unfair. And... Yeah. Be careful you have kids with people. No, for real.
Starting point is 01:34:30 Me and Carrie were just talking today. I was like, I feel like I'm gonna be one of those people that has a cryptic pregnancy, and I just like give birth in a toilet. Oh, I actually, no, I'm not gonna say anything. I can't say anything. Do you feel like I'm pregnant? Do you have like a sense or something. I can't say anything. Do you feel like I'm pregnant? Do you have like a sense or something?
Starting point is 01:34:48 I can't say anything. Fuck. I had alcohol last weekend. That's not good. Um. Um. I'm, Ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 01:34:57 What now you're scared of me? Make it stop. Mom was, uh, Mom was, No, I'm super regular. What do you mean? Like, My period. Okay, good. I'm super,. What do you mean? My period. Okay, good.
Starting point is 01:35:06 I'm super, super regular. But like a lot of people haven't you seen the TikToks of people that have cryptic pregnancies and they're like, I was super regular. Yeah, also like it's not so normal. I'm always not so. Okay. Always.
Starting point is 01:35:20 Okay. I think I'm okay. But if anyone's had a cryptic pregnancy, please let me know how it went. I don't know what the fuck I'm okay. But if anyone's had a cryptic pregnancy, please let me know how it went. I don't know what the fuck I would do. Can you imagine tomorrow you just have a baby? I don't have anything ready. Oh hell no.
Starting point is 01:35:33 Those women who think that they have a really bad stomachache and they go to poop and instead they're like, wait, this doesn't feel... Actually... It's labor. I actually recently found out that giving birth feels like you're going poop. And that's why you poop yourself sometimes.
Starting point is 01:35:48 I'm not excited. But thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. Like I always love coming here. I just love this. Where can people go find your new YouTube adventure that you're on? Oh my gosh, okay guys,
Starting point is 01:35:59 you know what to find me? Hopefully it's SpenceSwot everywhere. That's S-P-E-N-C-E-W-U-A-H. And I know a lot of you guys were upset that I stopped and terminated my podcast but hey I'm on a new journey and if you want to watch that journey unfold and you still want to see like long form content from me go to my youtube channel and that one is also at SpenceWah. I have a new video out. I post every Sunday. I will be posting this Sunday too. And the only place where the username is
Starting point is 01:36:34 different is my Snapchat, which is SpenceWah with an M in the middle. But yeah. I love it. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah. SpenceWah's links will be in the description, especially for that YouTube channel, because there's some good stuff coming. I can't wait to see it. But other than that, make sure you're checking out those live show tickets you guys. I've heard a lot of them are halfway
Starting point is 01:36:57 to being sold out already. So make sure you're on that so that we can see where we need to like add other shows to make sure we're seeing everyone. But other than that, until next time, bye! Toolulu! you

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