Two Hot Takes - 151: Too Juicy Not to Bite..

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

WE'RE GOING ON TOUR!!! NEW SHOWS ADDED & TICKETS HERE: https://linktr.ee/twohottakestour Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Lauren! This weeks episode is full of stories that were eye catching and seemingly juicy based off the titles and initial few words. These are all over the place from a woman who got homework from her husbands therapist to a guy whose family is mad at him for how he handled his brothers prank.. Can't wait to hear your thoughts on these ones. MERCH IS HERE TOO! https://shop.twohottakes.com I can't wait to see you all in these, especially at our live shows!! Our PO Box!! Two Hot Takes. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA 90036 Bonus Content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TwoHotTakes Our SubReddit to Submit YOUR Stories!!! https://reddit.app.link/twohottakes Full length Video episodes available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TwoHotTakes Partners: Supercuts: Register to win yours at SupercutsHighScore.com Skims: Skims.com :) Be sure to let them know we sent you by selecting our show in the dropdown menu! Lean by Brickhouse Nutrition: takelean.com 

Not a look? Like a cop. Justice runs in her blood. I want you to focus on the tradition you're carrying on. That's our legacy. But when the line is blurred... I know how hard it is when your family is taken from you. Stay away!

Just talk to me. Which side will she choose? Maybe you should reconsider the uniform and everything that it represents. I'd rather fight from inside it to make a change. Allegiance, new series, February 7th, watch free on CBC Gem. Here we go. I'm so excited. Yeah, me too.

I'm still doing Dry January over here, friends. Oh, which is, I just realized the drink matches my... Look at your little set up. My theme. Yeah, cheers. This episode might come out Valentine's Day. So I will definitely be celebrating that with a glass of champagne.

Dry January will be over, but feeling good. Yeah, I just felt that, well actually I went to a bachelorette party. Yeah, you couldn't really do it. What, like you couldn't partake this year and try it anyway. Oh, well, yes, that. With that, yeah. But I did something different.

I think we were talking about this last time, Justin also, was, what do you call it, damp? Damp, yeah, I was just way more thoughtful about when I would drink. So I put little boxes in my calendar and then I only gave myself a set amount of days to drink. And so then I would cross it out. So then I know that I can only have this many more days

to drink. I love that. Yeah, just be more like mindful, you know? It can get easy to get carried away. So everyone loves a good time. Yeah. Everyone loves a good time. It's also like, I'm literally, I think,

for when we're on tour, I think I'm only gonna make those my days because then I can like have a glass of wine with people during the meet and greet and do whatever, which speaking of, get your tour tickets, everything is almost sold out. It's crazy. Like, I'm blown away by all of the support from you guys. It feels amazing.

Also there's merch on sale online. If you get it and wear it to a show, I'm trying to have prizes ready to go. But yeah, I think it's gonna be really good. But any other updates, Lauren? No, what I was gonna say, but you thought I was talking about dry January, so I ran with that. But I was gonna say the Bachelorette party actually,

they had a bunch of pink and orange themes. And I never, I don't own pink. And so I went into my roommate's closet. She has so much pink. That was like her aesthetic. Yes, exactly. It was like pink and blue. Pink and blue, that was her vibe.

It was so funny, cause I had just done laundry. I'll show you the picture afterwards. I had just done laundry and they were all hung up and they were laying on my bed. I went to her closet, got a bunch of stuff to try on, went back to my room, threw the clothes in my bed, sitting right next to each other. It looked like that meme of Barbie and Oppenheimer because all my clothes were black and hers were all just right. It's really funny.

But, um, so anyway, I realized that I actually really like pink. So my roommate, this is her shirt, and she was like, you can have it. So kind of her. So I'm like, I'm gonna, you know, I'm going to wear pink as much as I can during this February Valentine's Day season this year. They're real cutesy.

Okay, well, I had the theme in mind of like, too juicy, not to bite. There's stories that like the title just kind of draws you in, you're curious, they seem juicy. And you found one as well, that definitely fits that vibe. I don't know what it is, but I know the title because I had to find it.

But I think it'll be a good one. I picked a lot of relationship, drama, like couple-y stuff anyway. So if this is the Valentine's Day episode, there you go guys. If it's not. Valentine's Day will be soon. Yeah, enjoy the episode.

Yeah. Okay, you ready? Yep, let's do it. Let's dive in. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Tags. I'm your host, Morgan. What? That didn't feel right. I'm just trying some stuff out.

Oh, wait. I actually like that you're wearing black right now. Yeah, it's Oppenheimer and Barbie. That's so perfect for the story I just told. Yeah, it's really good. You got to introduce yourself. Oh, I'm Lauren. There you go. There you go.

There you go. That's my name. Okay. I always forget. I just figured we'll plug it in right here before the first story. She always forgets my name. I thought your name to introduce us. I know I had to.

It was an easy one. So, TG up. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Okay. I'm just feeling like real, ahh. I kind of like it. It's getting me ramped up.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Is ramped up a phrase? It is now. Oh, okay. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for not doing the homework my husband's therapist assigned to me.

My husband and I have been together for over a decade. During this time, he's been in therapy on and off. He had a hard time finding a therapist that was right for him. A few of his therapists early on encouraged him to just medicate, no regular sessions, and one pushed religion on him. Neither of these worked. What he needed was someone to meet with him semi-regularly, not push their religious beliefs on him, and instead work with him to develop

appropriate strategies slash talk through the issues. Whenever he told me about one of these more questionable strategies, i.e. pushing just love Jesus, I said I thought that was inappropriate and he should find a better therapist and go without until then. There have been long stretches where he has gone without therapy because my husband isn't generally good at taking care of himself. That falls on me. I have to remind him to do things to keep him healthy slash taking care of. Drink water.

Eat more than once a day. There are literally times I have to tell him he needs to brush his teeth. He also gets anxious making any decisions on his own. I have to help him pick out new clothes, write emails to work colleagues, or groups of friends. He can't make plans for us. I have to make them all. Or I should say, I have to help him make the plans so then he can say he made them. He's a good person. He loves me so much, but he is so dependent on me. It is draining. I have to spend an hour at least once a week talking him through whatever crisis he's having. Sometimes this crisis is over what new collectible to buy. A collectible for

him that I do not have any interest in. I finally demanded that he look into therapists again. I told him I cannot be his therapist and he cannot depend on me this much. He needs to start taking care of himself and get a therapist that will work with him to develop these skills. And he did, which is great. However, a month in a therapy,

he said his therapist had homework for me. I was supposed to write out a list of his great qualities, at least a page or two. Mind you, this is after years of me carrying all his emotional baggage, essentially mothering him and giving him credit for things I did so he can feel better about himself. And one year, I did in fact write out 100 things that I thought were great about him for a gift. I was so frustrated. I said no.

I said therapy is his work, not mine, and I've spent too many years of our lives solving things for him. It wasn't fair to ask me to sit down and do this homework when the point of this therapy was for him to build his own skills without depending on me all the time. He was upset but accepted it. He said he understood. Well, just the other day,

he told me that his therapist doesn't like me. Pfft! And thinks I should be thanking and showing him appreciation more. I told him I didn't care what his therapist thought. They are his therapist. This does have me thinking though, am I the asshole for not doing the homework

his therapist assigned to me? Couple's therapy. I mean, it's like if it's gonna be like that, then it's gonna be like that. You know, it's really odd to me that I have a lot of questions on the credibility of this therapist for one because did you say that was his second time seeing her

and she says that she doesn't like his wife? Yeah, that's crazy. That's not a therapist. And maybe what happened is that he's having a lot of resentment towards his is that he's having a lot of resentment towards his wife and he's bringing it up to the therapist and she's just nodding along

and now he's saying that she doesn't like him. You know, I have a hard time with this cause I've never heard of just a therapist outright being like, I don't like this person two times in. Yeah, definitely suspicious. Oh, wife too. Yeah, I mean, it's really suspicious. I think anyone that tries to assert their opinions on to their, like the person they're supposed to be

providing therapy services to, you're crossing a line that like you probably shouldn't. I don't know if anyone saw Shrinking with Jason Segal, Harrison Ford, amazing show on Apple TV, but he's a therapist and he even questions with himself. He's like, there's these people, like I wish I could just tell them what to do,

but it goes against my moral obligation. And you teach people the tools they need to solve their own problems. It's not meant for you to like play puppeteer and plant ideas and tell them exactly like, you're not in it. This isn't you, your life. Like you can't do that. So I completely agree.

Yeah. Oh, it's weird. Also the other thing too, what I was saying, couples therapy, that was my first response because if you're gonna give assignments to somebody else as a therapist who's not there with you, that's a couples therapist thing. That's a couples therapist job.

That is the other person has to agree to this. Now you're putting his wife in an uncomfortable situation because now she's like, you don't know all the dynamics of our relationship and now you're telling me to do something day one. It's like, I never signed up for this. He did. He wants individual therapy. He's looking for individual therapy. So it, it feels inappropriate. It would be non-negotiable for me to continue this relationship. We need therapy together, couples therapy, or like we really

got to talk separately. Yeah. And it's so, it's hard too, because I've also gone to a few different therapists and, and, and just, or had meetings with them too, you know, initial calls to get there by, yeah, to vet out, see like who you connect with. Because at the end of the day, therapists are people, and they were human. So I think that a lot of times people can go into therapy and have a couple of bad experiences and think therapy isn't for them, but it's really about finding the right person

which takes some work. And so I would suggest not to give up. And I think that this guy needs a new therapist, clearly if he's, if she's telling him day two that she doesn't like his wife, that's really inappropriate. To these line, I don't know. And all we can go off of is like, what,

we're hearing her now, but like, it is something to question. Well, and I'm not, I always say like finding your therapist, like it is a process that's kind of like dating or making friends. Like it isn't this instantaneous thing that, you know, sometimes people get lucky, but usually it's not like your first therapist is your perfect therapist forever.

Like it's not like that, but he has like this pattern of like, I don't know, it sounds like the wife isn't really involved in meeting these people, but it sounds like he has this pattern of like, oh, this therapist is crazy, it's bad. And like, I'm gonna quit. And then he goes back to this like way of his wife doing everything because she will.

And she's, you know, I don't wanna like blame her, but she has kind of enabled it. So it's really know, I don't want to like blame her, but she has kind of enabled them. Yeah. So it's really tough because I don't know if he's neurodivergent. I'm not sure if there's an anxiety disorder, but like this is not sustainable for her to continue on being the crutch. And that's, it's really difficult too because I know of situations, you know,

where people have been in where they really love the person and the person is struggling. And so they want to help them because they love them. And then the person who is struggling, it's, they get so used to it that they, they want to lean on it and that they actually do start to forget their own tools to fend for themselves. So it sucks because it's the person's trying to care for them, but they're enabling them. And then the person who...

And again, this could be a completely different situation because I don't know the ins and outs of what this guy is going through. But I know in, I mean, even for myself personally, I've thought about this where if I am dating somebody who kind of just does everything for me, then I feel myself start to get kind of lazy. Can place into. Yeah. Yeah. And then if I am dating someone who pushes me,

then I feel more energized. And I hate to say that, that it's, I don't want it to be dependent on anyone else, but it happens to me sometimes, I notice it in myself and I have to check myself. So all that being said, I know, this is- A lot of rambling, sorry, but-

No, no, I like it. I think this situation is, it's kind of difficult to really know without, it's, I know. I haven't read any of the comments and I'm going to check right now to see if OP has responded to any. The top comment on this one, not the asshole, but I think you need your own therapist. You're carrying 99% of this relationship and it seems to be draining you completely. What are you doing to care for yourself?" And someone quotes that response, you're carrying 99%.

Honestly, in this situation, if my partner had told me that his therapist didn't like me, I would just say, good, divorce me and go stay with a friend or in a hotel for a week or two. It's possible that I might ring the therapist and let her have it too, but that would depend heavily on my level of, okay, I'm done now versus my level of anger. And someone goes, I know there's terrible therapists out there, but this sounds like the husband just made it up to hurt OP because she finally set a boundary.

Yeah. It's hard to know. Cause she's not saying that he's, she said he's a good man. So she's not giving us any context to think that he would be a liar, but we don't know. We don't know. Well, and what's interesting too,

it's like she made a comment that she even will help him message his work colleagues and sometimes friends. And mental health is, you know, it's challenging. It changes day by day. You know, I've had days where I have such a fucking mental breakdown that I need Justin to brush my teeth. Like, I get it. But at the same time- Has he brushed your teeth?

Yeah. Multiple times? Yeah, wow. It's just really nice to just lay in bed and have someone bring you a cup to spit in. And it's just like, I've had, Oh, it's amazing. This is bad that I don't remember who's brushed my teeth.

But I've had somebody brush my teeth before. It's really nice. It's like such a sign of love. I was falling asleep and I'm like, I can't go to bed without brushing my teeth. I'm so tired. It's so nice. I like, I can remember my, like, yeah, my part in it, but I don't remember who was on the other side.

But it's interesting that like, he was able to get this job and like, maintain it for the most, but then like, you're relying on her to send your emails. Like, it just, it kind of gives like, coddled, not willing to do your emails. Like it just, it kind of gives like coddled, not willing to do the work. Yeah. And then it's like, I just, I don't know. Like, it's really hard because it doesn't seem like she set boundaries, but like, ah!

There's no comments from our OP and we kind of read the top comments. It's only two days old, so maybe we'll see an update or something come in. But this one is really tough. I think you're spot on where it's gotta shift to couples therapy. Like he needs his individual therapy,

but this is couples therapy as well with you sticking to your boundaries. Because at the same time, while something like anxiety and depression can be a constant, he should be able to like take some tools from a good therapist that he's had, and then still remember how to use those tools and not rely on his wife for every little thing.

So there's gotta be some change here with him. Yeah, and then if he continued to go to individual therapy, and they also went to couples therapy, then let's say that his individual therapist says, I don't like your wife, then they take that to couples therapy and then the couples therapist would be like, that's inappropriate.

What? Yeah. And then be able to call it out. Yeah, so if they are wanting to stay together, I would highly recommend that. I, yeah, I mean, they've been together for over a decade. So I would assume they would at least want to try. So that's my vote. Okay. Okay.

I think it's solid. I would be, You'd be out. After 10 years, and the person is kind of unwilling to change, I can only go insane so much. Fair, but she's also not asking that. No, you know. She's just asking about the homework.

Exactly. Not the asshole. Yeah. Not the asshole. Moving along here. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole. It is titled, Would I Be the Asshole if I Visited My Parents After My Wife Gives Birth?

My wife, Sarah and I, both early mid-30s are expecting twins in early March. First and only kids for both of us. We had to go through IVF due to fertility struggles. Sarah is scheduled for a C-section due to this being a difficult pregnancy and other complications that make her high risk. Luckily, her parents are only a few hours drive away

and willing to come whenever needed. My parents live in another country and I see them usually once a year to every year and a half. They are aware of when Sarah is scheduled to have her C-section. Things have been going on, they don't know how to handle, and they want me there to help out. My parents don't have a lot of money,

but they went ahead and booked me a non-refundable plane ticket to come help them and visit for six weeks. The flight date is five days after Sarah's scheduled C-section. I've asked Sarah to look into rescheduling her surgery a few weeks earlier if possible, but she's refused, saying she's gotten herself mentally prepared for that particular date. And unless there's some sort of emergency with the twins, her OB is not going to approve pushing it up a few weeks.

I told her that it would give me more time to help her directly after birth before I leave for my parents. Sarah thinks I'm crazy for even considering going for that long, or at all, while we have two newborns at home and she's recovering from surgery and we're getting adjusted to being new parents.

Oh, I'd be so furious. If I had the money to spare, I'd hire someone to stay with Sarah while I'm gone. I gently reminded Sarah that I rarely see my family and if they're asking and paying for me to fly there, it must be something serious that requires my presence. So he doesn't even know what it is. At parents' request, I did not tell her

the nature of the issues they need help with. Oh my God. Plus, Sarah's own parents are only two, two and a half hours drive away. Oh, I'd be so pissed. Oh my. Wow. And I'm confident they'll drop whatever they're doing to come help should she need it. Her mom works remotely and could even stay over some nights to help out with the twins Sarah again called me crazy and ended up telling her parents what I suggested They both called me lecturing and fussing about abandoning Sarah when she needs me the most

I ended up venting to my younger brother who is also going to be flying out to our parents But for a shorter time. He is not married and child-free. Oh my God. And he says, Sarah is way out of line. What? And she'll be fine if I go. Oh, fuck you guys. She's simply reacting in this way due to hormones.

Oh. Wow. To be honest, I really wanna go and my parents would lose several thousand dollars if I refused and I'd have to buy a ticket for myself later if I didn't go then. Oh my God. Would I be the asshole if I went?

Yes, you're the asshole for even asking, fuck yourself. I don't even know if, because it's a top secret mission, but I don't even, I don't even know. I can't even think of one that would still make sense for him to have to. It's, this is cuckoo. This is absolutely cuckoo. Um, I just like this, I'm sorry, like women have amazing, amazing strength and can go through so much on their own. But if you have a partner and they're choosing to abandon you after a C-section with twins,

divorce, we're done. Wow. Wow, he's so furious. We are done. Wow, wow, wow, he's so furious. We are done. Especially the fact that he's not allowed to tell his wife why he has to leave that part. Are you kidding me? The parents are requesting that he says nothing to his wife? What?

It's again, it's giving him... Are you guys in a mafia? Like what's going on? It's again, it's giving- Are you guys in a mafia? Like what's going on? It's really weird. I wonder if they're just kind of like threatened by him having a baby babies now and just kind of like Trying to establish their relationship and you know what I mean? Like this feels kind of like a tactic to get him away because For me if I was a parent,

putting myself in like, you'd think she would want to fly out there. The opposite. Or they would at least like recognize like, hey, the time is not right. Your younger brother is coming. We'll have his help. It's okay. This is the time for you to spend with your family and why the hell is the younger brother coming for a shorter amount of time?

When he's not married and doesn't have kids. Yeah. Switch the tickets. Switch the tickets, bitch. And who's buying these tickets without talking it through first? Someone who wants to control, literally. I need to know what this, what is going on.

Because I'm like, even if there was a death in the family, why wouldn't he be able to tell his wife? Do you know what you mean? What is going on? It is super goofy. So the post has been removed. I can't even find it anymore. And thanks to Reddit updating their lovely terms and services

and whatever stuff they're doing. You can't even use the Wayback machine anymore. It's bullshit. I'm not saying that, that sucks. But I have a screenshot of the top comment. You're the asshole, you're kidding me. Even though they are cutting your wife open and you'll be gone six weeks, leaving your wife alone

five days after her surgery, while she's recovering with twins. Oh my god Do you even want a child you act like this moment your child's birth is less important than anything else You say cultural standpoint, but what about your wife and children? What's your cultural standpoint then? Your wife and children are more important and your family should understand that. This one makes me so frustrated. I know for a fact, I have a friend who had a C-section and she had a tough recovery.

I think if she listened to this story, she would literally want to punch her husband in the face just for hearing this story. Yeah. I mean, the reason she's having a C-section is because she's having health complications and high risk. What if she dies?

What if one of your babies doesn't make it? And that is, again, like I don't want to think about that, but you got to be there, dude. You got to be there. After a C-section, like your abdominals are cut open. You can't bend, you can't lift, you can't do a lot. There's restrictions on your movements. And they have two babies that you have to feed. And it's a lot of work too, every few hours.

And you're supposed to be resting. Yeah. If I had a C-section, I'd be like, I'm sleeping for days, you can feed our children. Well, I'm just kidding. But you know, it's just, ugh. It's, and the brother too, being like, it's just hormones. It's messed up.

I can't believe he asked her, can you just reschedule the C-section? It makes me so, I, this is one of the first times where I've been like, I want this to be creative writing. Please don't tell me this is one of the first times where I've been like, I want this to be creative writing. Please don't tell me this is goddamn true. Maybe, maybe, you can always hope. But I think that's hilarious. And it's like, do you know how people's bodies work?

And also twins, like twins are a lot of times born early anyways, I believe. My heart's racing. Like you can't just take buns out of the oven early. Doesn't work like that. They gotta develop in there, they gotta cook. Come on. Who rationalizes this?

So unbelievable. It's just, oh god, next one. Okay, moving along. One of this week's partners is Supercuts. Who doesn't love free? Especially when it comes to a free haircut. Well, if you want a haircut after this year's big game, Supercuts may be our answer, friends. If the big game's final score meets or beats 75 points, you could win a free haircut at Supercuts.

If you register at supercutt-highscore.com And you're like, why 75, Morgan? That makes no sense, that's a lot of points. Well, it's because Supercuts has been cutting America's hair since 1975. And 75 just so happens to be the highest ever scoring at this big game we're having. So we're looking for the over on the Supercuts high score of 75 points for the chance to catch free cuts

at Supercuts salons nationwide. And if you Score of 75 points for the chance to catch free cuts at Supercuts Salons nationwide. And if you're like 75 points, never say never friends, Taylor's boyfriend's playing in this one, and if anyone could help do it, he could. So head to supercutshighscore.com to register. Read the terms and conditions and for eligibility. Register at supercutshighscore.com and you could score a haircut after this year's big game.

Okay, so this one is coming from the best of... Wait, do you want me to read one? I'm kind of nervous and I kind of want to just like get it out of the way. Yeah. Okay, you can read. Okay. Let me find your little tab. I'm so scared.

Why? I don't... You know why. No. I was about to say I don't know and then I don't, you know why. I was about to say I don't know and then I'm like, you know why. Don't say why. No, you got it. You got it, Loin. Okay, so this one was a day ago and it was posted on the Two Hot Takes subreddit.

Let's go, baby. The title is, My Fiance Doesn't Want Me to Call Him Daddy Anymore. Understandable. I feel like this could be for a kink related episode, so I decided to share here. To start off, I know this isn't everyone's thing, that many people find it weird and gross, but don't yuck my yum, y'all.

Not safe for work. My fiance, 27 male, and I, 26 female, met about three years ago. And early in on our relationship, I was very open about being into soft DDLG. Google! DDLG is Daddy Dom slash Little Girl. A sexual relationship where the dominant male

is the daddy figure and a woman plays the role of a young girl. Okay, so as she said, she's very open about being into the DDLG dynamic. I say soft because I'm not into the age play or anything. Again, if that's your yum, good for you. But I just like being called a good girl and being owned slash the power dynamic of it. While it was something that was new to him, he embraced it in many aspects of our lives since we moved in together pretty quickly. To give you an idea, it was stuff like him holding my face and asking, in quotes, are you going to be a good girl?

And blank, do the dishes, get him water, turn off the lights, change my attitude, etc. And I'd reply, yes, daddy. Feels rude when I say it. Or he'd ask me, what are you gonna be? And I'd reply, you're a good girl. Other times, if I really wanted something,

I could give him the cute face and say, please daddy. And he'd oblige. Okay. Or when he could tell I had a rough day, he'd say, come here good girl and scoop me up into his lap. And I just melt into him and it would fix everything. All to say, it was a pretty big part of our relationship, sexually and otherwise.

You could say it's a 24 seven kink, but calling him daddy became interchangeable for baby. But this last month, after a lot of turmoil, which included the stress of moving across the state, letting my temper get the best of me, he wasn't blameless in this, I'm just owning my part, and almost breaking up. I went to call him daddy and he very coldly said, I don't want you to call me that anymore. And when I pressed a little harder, he said, it just doesn't feel right, it's not our dynamic anymore, which honestly hurt a lot. Our sweet thing, something that brought us

a lot of connection is done. On top of that, the wedge that our rough patch created between us. We haven't really been intimate for the past month or so, except for once last week, despite my attempts, and when we were, it kept slipping out. Every time I'd get in my head like, in quotes, no, don't do that, he doesn't like that, stop it,

think of another name, baby, just say baby. And I take myself out of feeling good, which made me realize that this might go beyond a want for me. I can't imagine doing it without it. It was very lackluster. I took the move and the new year as an opportunity to change a lot of habits,

including starting therapy, which he has said he would join me for, but had no desire to go to couples therapy or to his own therapist. We have done premarital counseling, which I highly recommend, by the way, but we didn't get very far into it between our very different schedules and then having to move suddenly. I'm hoping the desire to interact in that way will come back as we get better, but it just hurts as silly as that sounds. Any advice? Have you gone through something similar? How did it go? This is a lot because I feel like their fight that they had is honestly, it's created such a rift in their relationship. And I feel like for someone to buy in for the past three years of participating in this kink fetish,

because she's like unsure if she needs it or wants it at this point, it feels like he's now changing on her and saying, I don't wanna do do this anymore as like almost a punishment. Like you've been this person with your partner for the past three years. I could understand if you weren't into it from the beginning, but you guys have like built your whole relationship on almost this bit, which a lot of people have bits in their their partnerships. Like I think every couple needs a bit to be healthy, but it's just, it's weird that he's

shifted so much. And I also have a problem with the fact that he's like, oh, yeah, I'll go to therapy, but then refuses couple therapy and individual. So it's like, so you won't go to therapy. You won't work on our relationship. You won't fight for us. You won't work on our relationship. You won't fight for us. You won't address what we're going through and our issues. So I'm getting like a lot of mixed signals of like,

I don't know, to me it feels like he's checking out. So the reason this one caught my attention, it came up, it was the first thing when I opened up my Reddit app. And I just thought it was funny because I went to a bachelorette party. And the first thing, when I sat down in this group of these girls, we just started talking, getting to know each other because we didn't all know each other.

And somehow the topic of daddy got brought up. And everybody went around and said their opinion on it. And pretty much everyone said that they absolutely cannot say that word. Oh, except I think there was one girl that was like, oh yeah, I'll throw that out. Yeah. But it is really interesting. And then we were talking about the dynamic of it's crazy because I think at least I've had this experience where I grew up, I would call my dad daddy. And then when I thought it is for me. Yeah. And then whenever I got a little bit older,

and then I realized that that people also use it in a sexual way, then I felt, then I felt weird. I'm like, oh my God, I can't call my dad that anymore. I know. And so my dad is like really sad about that. Yeah, because it is a really, it's sad. And that's what everyone was saying. So, or not everyone, There was some girls that were saying that it's even weird saying it as a really little kid. They were like, no, it's gonna be dad, not daddy. And papa. Yeah, papa's cute.

I think that's for grandpa though. I usually hear papa for grandpa, but I don't know. Yeah, you can do whatever you want, but. No, but then there was a bunch of girls that were saying, no, like, even I won't even want my child to say that even when they start talking. And I was like, it's actually not weird. I'm like, think about it. And then I reenacted it. I'm like, Daddy, could I have some crackers? And they're like, okay, you're right. When you say it, it's not weird. But I was just curious if everyone feels this way.

Like, is Daddy just like, like, can we not say it anymore? Like as children? I think you just, we need to stop letting the internet ruin things for us. Like that's what this is. Like to each their own, like for this writer here, like, I think if that's what this is. Like to each their own, like for this writer here, like I think if that's what it takes and you found like a way to push your buttons,

like go for it. It's not hurting anyone, especially if you have a partner willing to consent to it and also enjoys it. Yeah. It seemed like he enjoyed it. Yeah. You don't participate in something like that

for three years, unless you're also enjoying it. Yeah, right? So it's like this fight, you guys gotta connect and get back. Although I will say I do know that it's a thing where people will fake things until marriage comes. And then they kind of start to let it go. So that's a possibility,

but I think you'll find this edit interesting. Okay, so we have an edit. So that's a possibility, but I think you'll find this edit interesting. Okay. So we have an edit. Edit, since everyone is curious what made me lose my cool, because remember they got in that fight? Huge, yeah. When we found out we needed to move, I wasn't given a date for when we were moving. My fiance just kept telling me mid-December.

After several weeks of checking in for a better timeline, I decided on a day at the end of my work quarter for my notice and the easiest transition out, giving my job three weeks to hire someone and have me train them. When my fiance went to a new location to scout out and land a job, he got back, put in his two weeks notice and told me we were moving XYZ Day, which was a few days before my last day. So I told him that wouldn't work. He stopped showing up to work after a week and tried to have me stop showing up for work also to pack slash move up our move date.

But I felt that it was a bad decision because I hadn't gotten a job yet and it showed lack of integrity. Fair, yeah. On top of this, his version of packing was very different from my own, which caused us a lot of stress during the weeks leading up to the move.

He'd pack things that we needed on a daily basis. I'd say something like, let's leave the artwork on the walls till the end because it's big and delicate. The next day, it would be down and I'd be scolded for leaning other artwork against the larger ones, dimpling the canvas. And I was constantly being told that I wasn't doing enough, being generally belittled, told things like that I didn't matter to my job, that I'm not important. Come on.

It was death by a thousand cuts. So when I came home one day to find a bunch of stuff that he in quotes didn't know what it was, which it was gifts for people that I collect slowly for Christmas, and they were all thrown away by the dumpster. Yeah. And other trash bags full of other things like my bibles, journals, and shoes inside the door. Dump him. Done. Done. I was upset. When I confronted him, he said, in quotes,

Well, you weren't here to pack. So if you wanted it, you should have packed, end quotes. Leave my shit, pack yours, it will be fine. Yeah. So he was offering digging through garbage for my stuff as a solution, which of course he wasn't going to help. So I lost it. I cried and I called him names. I threw my Bible at him since he might need to read it, being Christian and acting the way he was. And of course I was overreacting, but it deeply hurt me and my faith. Absolutely. This is done. So she continues,

so yeah, I acknowledge that I may have a bit of a temper that went unchecked with that. No, you do not. With added stress and that I could work on my communication slash attachment style and I got myself into therapy. I can see that I'm better for it. Who wants to get that way? Not me.

Has your therapist told you? Nope, because they don't tell. Remember the first one. Yeah. Yeah. But your therapist might be dropping hints and asking you questions to get the wheels turning that your boyfriend might be a little abusive. Sounds sounds like it could be a holy shit. Is that everything? No, so this is from an edit she's responding to people. So these were in the comments. As for the parent debate, we don't want kids until we are in our mid 30s.

So I don't think that's really part of the equation here. We have talked about when we have kids and agreed that it would become more of a bedroom thing and that our kids would refer to him as dad because that would be weird. Yeah. Also, I don't think he would want to marry me or give me as much grace as he has if he wasn't into me anymore.

I think he's a control freak. I think a lot of your assessments about being emotionally tapped out are correct and that getting better is going to be the first step to seeing where we actually stand with this. And that's that. This is extremely toxic, extremely toxic. I would never, ever, ever touch something of justins or anyone else in my life and think I had the autonomy

and power to throw it away. If you don't know what it is, collect everything, put it in a pile and say, Hey hun, I found all these things as I was cleaning my stuff, unsure of what they are, how would you like to proceed? Yeah. To throw things away and then, and then not even help. Oh, well, here's the solution get in the dumpster bitch. Yeah. Get in the dumpster you bitch. But I'm not helping.

Even though I'm the asshole that threw your stuff away. What kind of asshole is this? Well it makes me sad too because she's like I understand that you know I had a temporary temper and stuff like that. And it's like, no. Okay, even if you did lose your temper, no one, that doesn't mean that someone can just do that. Look at why you lost your temper. Yeah, right. Because someone was so careless for your belongings.

Someone has a complete lack of respect for you. Someone thinks they can control you and belittle you and treat you like garbage. And then when they wrong you, when they hurt you, they're unwilling to even attempt to fix it. Yeah. And then they take away your favorite thing, which was daddy. He's doing it to punish her. Right? This is a punishment. Right?

This is disgusting behavior. This is not someone that is your person. No. This is abuse. Like I'm not, like I try not to use that lightly, but like this is not a good, healthy relationship right now. Right now especially. And if he's unwilling to go to therapy,

then there's no hope, there's no progress. Like what? And I think that's what some of the people in the comments were saying too, is that they're like, how are you just going to brush over the fact that he threw all of your stuff out? Because that wasn't even a part of the original post. That's what I wanted to know. I go, what was this fight? Like what was this fight? Yeah. What are the comments? What, like, what do they say?

Well, the top comment was, does nobody talk about the fact he threw her shit out because she wasn't there to pack it and then respondent, right, I'm blown away by all the people overlooking the fact that he handled the move terribly and was a ginormous dick Under statement of this century Yeah, I agree with you about the people and about the post it kind of feels to me like he is punishing her with this dynamic With his this dynamic is not for me anymore because she wasn't being a good girl I think he is still very much being a daddy.

I don't even know what that one means. There's a lot of upvotes. He bought into this from the get-go because he's a controlling guy. Mm. So that's the breakdown of that comment. He was okay with this dynamic because that's how he wants his shit to be.

And so you need to ask yourself going forward, do you want someone that treats you like this 24 seven? Turn the lights off. Yeah. Take out the garbage. Like whatever, like I think there's a fine line for this and I think therapy will really help, but I think he is a controlling guy

and he's using this now as a punishment because he knows what it means to you. Oh my God. And someone, a partner, especially a fiance, someone who punishes you is not a person that loves you. That's so interesting to think about that parallel. Someone else responded exactly that, because for some reason I didn't really understand

what the last comment was saying, but you're completely, you're spot on. Somebody else said, that's how I read it too. She fell out of the role of daring to stand her ground on something. That seems bad. Like you should still be able to disagree with your spouse, but I don't know shit about these types of kinks.

It's dude, this is not good. Are there any updates on OP's account? Oh, okay, yeah, she's actively responding. Lot of comments from her. It sounds like she's angry because she's responding to comments like, he threw your stuff away and you're wondering about the word daddy, he's a dick. And what kind of Christian throws their Bible news flash, he's not into you anymore. Opie responded, what kind of Christian throws away a Bible?

I had to dig it out of the trash to throw it at him. Jesus, Jesus tore shit up. Let's not forget that. See, Opie, I think is like, yeah, you guys are right right now. Like in her comments, has she come to a realization that like this isn't the best? No, so this was actually one hour ago and she said, thank you for this. I appreciate a commenter that doesn't just say how abusive he is and to run. I saw that side eye to the camera like, I feel attacked, but I'm not wrong.

But I'm not wrong. She said, I do really love him and I hope that we can work it out. But you're right, I can do all the work in the world on myself. But unless he starts treating me with respect and kindness, there's nothing for me to stay for. Bingo. You know the answer.

I mean, people like, there's always a possibility that this is a blip in their relationship and that they can get to, you know, a better place. Especially like, if he turned around and was like, no, I do want to go to therapy and I do want to go to couples therapy. So there's always, there's always hope, you know, but, um, but it is, it's definitely some real big red flags. We don't like these at all. No, and like, I just think every little thing he did

demonstrated he's controlling, and if he doesn't get his way, he will punish you, he will hurt you. Me and Justin are moving right now. We are two very, very different packers. Justin goes out and buys the boxes and neatly puts all his stuff in a box and it's all organized.

Me? Nope. Throw it in a trash bag, throw it in my car and I'll be hauling it over. Like we pack very differently. We, you know, whatever. But does he get mad at me for not packing his way? Like no, he doesn't give a fuck.

Like, this is just fucking bonkers. Every little thing about this one is bonkers. I haven't gotten this mad in a while. Yeah, but the thing is, is that OP definitely sounds that she wants to stay with him. It's she's just looking for advice on how she can get her- Couples therapy. Her kink back on. Couples therapy, her- Couples therapy.

Her kink back on. Couples therapy, non-negotiable. Yeah. Non-negotiable. This man does not respect you and he's punishing you. He's hurting you on purpose. And I think you have to ask yourself, if you're with someone that is hurting you on purpose,

why stay? The sex might be good, but is that enough to sustain you for a lifetime? Yeah. Cause this is the first time, but it will not be the last. Ooh, okay. Moving along.

Agreed. Another one of this week's partners is Skims. I've always found bras to be uncomfortable. Even after taking my bra off, I will have an underwire mark for hours after. That really changed for me when I started trying Skims's bras. And that makes sense because Skims is creating the next generation of underwear and bras for everybody. I initially went with the wireless form t-shirt bra and this bra is like a little cloud.

It's that everyday bra that you can wear for hours and not rush to take it off when you get home. But my favorite is the No Show online demi bra. It's so flattering and Justin literally saw it and his eyes almost popped out of his head. And it's no surprise because Skim's bras are made with innovative technology to give you the best shape and support.

Plus, every bra is designed with the comfiest and softest materials, so you'll actually feel like you're wearing nothing at all. And Skims offers a complete system of bra solutions for every need and style. Skims bras are available now in 62 sizes, 30A to 46H. So believe the hype, Skims has over 100,000 five-star reviews for a reason. Skims bras are now available at skims.com. Plus get free shipping on orders over $75. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you.

After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. And if you're looking for a gift for your Valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best Valentine's shop ever, also available at skims.com. Thank you.

Okay, this next one seems a little lighter. We gotta give us a break between the last two we've read. I'm like, I was heated on the one you read, you were heated on that one, breaking it up a little. So this one is, it was a day old when I found it, but if I refresh, I could have made the biggest mistake just now. Never refresh, sometimes you do and it's gone. Still there though. Seven days old, am I the asshole for refusing to lend my designer purse to my sister-in-law for her wedding? I, 24 female, have a Chanel purse that was a gift from my parents when I graduated college. It's by far the

most expensive thing I own. My brother recently got married and his new wife Amy asked if she could borrow my Chanel purse for their wedding day photos and reception. Amy doesn't own any designer bags and really wanted one to complete her wedding look. I politely declined to lend her my purse. That purse is extremely valuable to me, and the thought of something happening to it makes me anxious. Amy called me selfish and materialistic

for not lending it to her for the wedding. She said I was more concerned about a status symbol than helping family. My parents- So you, like what? My parents and brother also got upset with me, saying I should be willing to share my things with family, but I don't think I should have to hand over my most prized possession just because it's for a wedding.

Now the whole family is angry with me. Am I the asshole for not lending my sister-in-law my expensive designer purse for her wedding? She's acting like I ruined her big day over this, but I think it was an unreasonable request. See, I'm not a designer purse girly, like you and all they are. But I, what I think is, well, first of all, no, I don't think you're an asshole. If you don't want someone to borrow your stuff, like you don't have, you don't owe them that. No. And if it makes you really anxious too, why should you have to put yourself in that situation?

And it, I mean, it's an expensive purse. And outside of it being expensive, it was a gift from your family members. Yeah, they're sentimental value there. So there's a lot of importance behind that purse. So I don't think that OP needs to explain herself. If she doesn't want to borrow something to somebody, then that's it, you know? But what I thought was so funny

is the sister-in-law's reaction. I mean, it's like, why do you want somebody else's purse for your wedding photos? I mean, it's fine, but why are you so upset? And then you're gonna say she only cares about a symbol. Isn't that what you're doing? You're not kettle? Yes, exactly.

Like how? I thought it was so comical. Right. Like you're calling me materialistic because I won't borrow you my purse so you can appear in photos like you're wealthy. It's a status symbol. That sounds materialistic to me.

And to be honest, for my wedding photos, I would want it to be my stuff, my memories. I mean, yeah, if I thought it'd be really cute, someone's purse and I wanted to borrow it, then I'd ask if they said no. Okay. It is what it is. I think you have to ask yourself when you're borrowing things, can this person

replace it if something happens? Will they replace it? And I think you can even ask people that, like upfront, you define this like, hey, yeah, I'm willing to borrow it to you, but like if something happens to it, like you'll replace it, right? Yes? Okay. I have more confidence now. But for her to use this on her wedding day and reception, like, ma'am, you're not going to want to her to use this on her wedding day and reception like ma'am You're not gonna want to carry a purse around your whole wedding day. You're gonna slough it on the table in the back of your chair It's just not Not good like what if it gets stolen off your chair like granted it's family and friends there and they shouldn't but

Shit happens. You never know you never know so. So like, you really want that purse. You've known you wanted this. Go order one off DHgate. Yeah. I've ordered so many fake purses. And like, I love the way that they look. I don't know if it's psychological or whatever, but like, I have no problem ordering a fake one online

if it looks just as good. If you can buy a fake for 80 bucks versus spend three grand on the real thing, why not just get a fake? Yeah. I'm just, I like I said, I'm not, I've never been a designer purse girl. Yeah. But I mean, I think that they're cute, but I also like the idea of not spending that much money.

Yeah. And I know that purses, they can hold their, they're certain purses that can hold their value or sometimes they can be even more expensive. Um, at least that's what I've been told. So I mean, I get it. Yeah. I get, I get the purr and they're, and they're cute. And when you have really expensive stuff, you tend to treat it really, really nice.

So it tends to last much longer. So I get it, but I've just never, never really got it. Yeah. I've never been a purse, never really got it. I've never been a purse girlie. There's definitely some that I don't get the hype around. I think some of the Birkin bags are really cute. Like the Hermes bags, like a little Birkin, like the Kelly. But would I ever pay $40,000 for one?

No, I'm gonna get a fake from China. I'll strut all over the place. You just can't take fakes to certain countries because you could actually be prosecuted for it though. So watch out for that. Oh, good to know. It's illegal to have fake purses in Japan. Wow.

That's one. That's crazy because Morgan just gave me a fake purse. And Brian literally just asked me if I wanna go to Japan. Can't take that one. Can you believe it? Like that's too ironic that like back to go to Japan. Can't take that one. Can you believe it? Like that's too ironic that like back to back that happened. Can't take that one. But you know, it's funny because I think about this,

like Morgan gave me this really cute purse that's it's not the actual, you know, Louis Vuitton, but at least I don't think it is. Can you imagine? No. But. That one's four grand from the store. I believe it.

But I get compliments on it a lot. And I always wonder, I'm not used to getting many compliments on my purses. And I'm always like, is it because of the symbol? Do I have to tell you it's fake? Will you still compliment it? Do you still think it's cute? Some people judge for fake. I don't know, it's goofy, but to each their own, the top comment on this one

kind of picked up off what we were saying, not the asshole. I find it funny that she called you materialistic for not lending her the purse, yet she needed the purse to complete her outfit. And the only reason she wanted your purse was because it was an expensive designer bag. So in other words, she's mad at you. You wouldn't let her be materialistic with your items. So funny. No, family does not always lend everything. Walk into the house next week and borrow the TV.

Borrow their car for a week. She wanted the purse because it was the nicest thing. She knew that was close to her and she was going to assume that just because they're family, you would say yes. It's your stuff. You choose who you lend it to. Next comment down, this is the comment I was looking for. Also, what kind of wedding photos has a purse in them?

That's what I thought, a purse? I was thinking about that too. You hold your bouquet. And unless you got fancy shoes and a bag, you might show it off in one pic, but it's not. Sorry, it's not like a huge thing. Okay. No, I just felt bad.

I kept thinking you were done and then I kept sounding like I was interrupting you. But no, what I was gonna say is that funny enough, your engagement photos, Alhondra was instructed to say is that funny enough, your engagement photos, all Honduras was instructed to take your purse before you walked out. I know. And, but then you liked that they were in there still because it looked cute, right? No. Oh, really?

No, I would have preferred it was out of there. Oh, okay. But like, what can you do? But I was just going to say it's funny because in that situation, somebody was instructed to actively get them out. Get the person out. Like the opposite. Like the opposite engagement photos.

And now this girl is like, I want it. It's going to be the star of my wedding pics. Give me it. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. But moving along.

Another one of this week's partners is lean from Brickhouse Nutrition. Are you stressed? Cause I am. And as someone that deals with PCOS and hearing all the buzz about cortisol, stress has been making it real challenging for me to feel good in my own skin.

And if this sounds familiar, lean could be for you. Stress could be why you're having trouble losing weight. It can wreak havoc on our blood sugar, cause our body to store excess fat, slow our metabolism. But that's where lean provides a little good news. The studied ingredients in lean have actually been showed to help maintain healthy blood sugar levels, help optimize metabolism, and keep your appetite under control. So if your life is a little bit stressful and you wanna lose a little weight

or just feel healthy and comfortable in your own skin again, you could add lean to be a part of your healthy diet and exercise lifestyle. You can get 15% off and free shipping at takelean.com and enter THT, that's promo code THT at takelean.com, takelean.com. Statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure,

or prevent any disease and is not a substitute or alternative for care from a healthcare provider. Okay, so this is four days old. My 27 male roommate, 27 females, boyfriend, 31 male, planned a surprise proposal against her wishes. I kept quiet and now our friendship is strained. How do I fix this? So me, 27 female and my friend slash roommate, Nicole,

27 female have known each other since university. Nicole has been dating her boyfriend Brandon, 31 male, for roughly a year. Honestly, none of us are fond of Brandon, but he was Nicole's rebound from a long-term relationship. So we all kind of assumed that he wouldn't be around for long enough to make a stink about it. To my surprise, a couple of weeks ago,

Brandon messages me asking me to help plan a surprise proposal for Nicole for their one year anniversary. I pretty much knew for a fact that they hadn't discussed getting engaged beforehand, because Nicole has on multiple occasions mentioned that her relationship was, quote, not that serious. And not even two weeks ago, she said that they would probably break up before she moves to work on a master's next year.

Oh no. Oh no. Anyways, for context, here's how my conversation with her boyfriend went. Brandon, him asking me to plan a surprise proposal. Me, oh, that's exciting. Doesn't Nicole know you're planning on proposing? Brandon, no, and she isn't going to.

I want it to actually be a surprise. Please keep this between us. Me, in that case, I wish you luck, but I won't be helping. I really don't think she'll want to be blindsided with a public proposal. Brandon, well, you can either help or I'll be doing a Jumbotron proposal at our city's professional hockey teams game. Your choice. By the last message, I assumed he was just trying to manipulate me and I stopped replying.

I really didn't think he'd be stupid enough to propose at an NHL game since Nicole hates hockey. stupid enough to propose at an NHL game, since Nicole hates hockey. I didn't want a medal, so I just kept quiet to Nicole. Oh my God. Well, this like puts a really, this is a hard situation, cause like let's say- Oh, we're not done yet. Okay.

To my horror, a couple of days ago, Nicole messages a group chat with us and a couple of friends and tells us she's dumping Brandon. When someone asked why, she said, quote, he told me to dress up for a special night he planned for our anniversary. He brought me to a fucking hockey game. I realized I screwed up by not telling her before, so I called her frantically and texted her to get the hell out of there if she doesn't want to be proposed to on the Jumbotron. Oh no.

Thankfully, she saw my text before it happened and left the game before he could propose. They got in a big fight afterwards and broke up before Nicole got home that evening. Nicole is furious now and has been acting really off with me. She's pissed I didn't tell her about him wanting to propose in that way. Honestly, I just don't know what to do here. I feel like I was just put in a shit situation and Nicole is acting like I'm the reason all of this happened. No. Is there any way to at least kind of mend the friendship and get back to normal? We're supposed to live together as roommates for several more months after this,

so I'd really like to move past this. I mean, I think that she was put in a difficult situation because what if roommate and friend did want to be proposed to and now you were in the surprise. Yeah, it's not her place. No, at all. Yeah. You are with your partner for a reason.

If you don't wanna be together, if you don't wanna accept a proposal, it is okay to say no and then break up. But like to expect your friend to meddle in your relationship, I think on the flip side, if she did secretly want to and was just talking a big game to her friends, like we're probably gonna break up when I move,

but secretly she wants to, she would be pissed that you ruined it. So it could go either way. Like it's not your place. It will work out how it's supposed to work out. Completely agree. Like she still saved you. Exactly.

You texted the group what you did. Yeah. But she's exactly I. Okay. This sounds really bad of me, but I was kind of hoping that we got to the proposal because that had to be com hoping that we got to the proposal because that had to be comical if we got to that point. Oh, the Jumbotron at a hockey game.

Some people are into it. No, no, no, no, no, not being proposed that way. That's fine. I don't. It's just the fact that she actively didn't want to be proposed that way and was hate hockey, insanely caught off guard and hate hockey. Yeah. But that's why I was really curious to see how that one would play out. No, I mean, I'm actually kind of surprised that she is so mad at OP. I wonder if there's any

comments. I wouldn't be if this were me. I mean, I would say, please know if I tell you I don't want to be with this person, I'm serious. Because to your point, sometimes people kind of say, I'm trying to think of the word. I have friends that will sometimes say negative things. It's probably not gonna last. It's probably not gonna work out because they're a little bit nervous about getting

their hopes up. So to your point, there's always a chance that that's what her friend was doing. I don't know. I don't get this dynamic. We have a lot of comments from OP now that I'm looking into it. I'll read the top comment on the post first. So top comment, it sounds like she thinks that since you knew about the Jumbotron that she might think you did help Planet.

And I don't blame her for being upset if that's what she thinks. I'd sit her down to have a conversation about it, show her the messages between you and Brandon where you told him it was a bad idea and refused to have any partner and let her know that you just thought he was being manipulative and didn't think he was serious about the Jumbotron until she messaged the group. This honestly seems like a classic miscommunication scenario between the two of you and that can definitely be mended. And OP goes, sorry I should have put this in the post, I just didn't want it to be too long but when I texted her to leave the game, I also sent screenshots of the messages between

her boyfriend and I, so she knows I had nothing to do with the actual planning of it. She's just mad that I didn't tell her about him wanting to propose before, so the situation could have been avoided entirely. I've told her my side of things, but she's still giving me the silent treatment slash cold shoulder. And honestly, I Feel like if a friend is gonna act like that you're not very good friends. Anyways, I Can't imagine Yeah, especially because she avoided it I think if she was so humiliated because she had to say no in front of a ton of people That's different then she's just need like she would need time to cool down. Yeah. But this does, it never happened.

She still saved you. Like, like, yeah, like you said, like a couple of days to like, but you realize like, you're kind of the problem here. You were with someone you saw. That you don't want to be with. Yes. Yeah. That you saw no future with. You were leading someone you saw that you don't want to be with. Yes. Yeah. That you saw no future with.

You were leading him on. You were using him in some regard then. And now you're mad at your friend because this guy that thought you were in a relationship proposed. You should be more mad at yourself than your friend. 100%. Yeah. I would be really upset that someone was treating me this way when like I was just trying to do the right thing.

That's really, really challenging. Someone commented, all the people in this story seem shitty and Opie goes, what could I have done better? I believe in changing and growing as a person. So I'm down for feedback if you're willing. Out of the jit appreciate a blunt outside perspective. Did they respond? No, someone else goes actually.

Of course they didn't. Actually, she does sound like a terrible person, but if you wanna repair the friendship, then why not tell the truth? Maybe it's time she heard that her own behavior had consequences. This time resulted in you not wanting her to misunderstand the way she did with your other friend.

And OP responds, there's definitely some nuance to this, though, if she wasn't all around bad person, I wouldn't have her in my life. Her mom has been married like five times, and I think she's become the worst version of herself when romantic relationships are involved because she's never had a healthy romantic relationship modeled for her. Obviously doesn't excuse her behavior, but at least I can understand it. So I think people are kind of hinting at like, you know. OP sounds very mature.

This is an interesting take though. Unpopular, if you are actually good friends, I do think you owed her a heads up as soon as the branding conversation happened. Yeah, that is, I guess that's a question mark, because if you're that close, then that is something that I would bring up to my friend if I genuinely believed that they were not going to last.

You know what I mean? I think it's, but it's like, but like we were talking about if she doesn't know where they're at, if potentially they do end up together, then you just fucked up their surprise proposal. I guess like you could ask though in a way that doesn't give anything away. Like, hey, let's have a wine night or let's hang out. Let's grab coffee, whatever. Have you and Brandon talked about getting engaged? Like, where are you guys, like how are things going?

And you do a check-in and then if she says no, like I do not see myself marrying him. We haven't talked about it. Then you could say, okay, I didn't wanna tell you, I didn't feel this my place, but like, he asked me to help plan a proposal. I told him no, I told him I didn't think you'd like it, so like, you should maybe talk to him.

Like, it might be time to make a move. I think then you can not ruin the surprise and also be a good friend. Yeah But like if she would have then said like oh, yeah, I you know, I'm starting to like him then you can't say anything That's just not I don't know that's really tough Really tough. Yeah, and that's the point. I think that the point is is that it shouldn't be on OP. No, it shouldn't be her responsibility. Not at all. Moving along.

Okay. You can do it. You're in my brain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pump, pump it up. Pump, pump, pump it up. I was telling Morgan at the beginning of recording that the last time we recorded,

I was just a little shell. I didn't talk to anyone that day. I was so out of it. And now this time, I've had such a busy day and I've been talking, talking, talking, talking, that now I'm starting to just, you know, you guys get me on, sorry. You're just beautified. that now I'm starting to just, you know, you guys get me on. Sorry.

You just muted me. You know, you guys just get me on such. That was so funny that you completely turned off my microphone as I'm like, talking, talking, talking. My headphones were so loud. Oh, sorry. I was trying to bring them down. You just muted me.

I couldn't even hear myself. Oh God. Talking, talking, talking. But anyway, the point is that sometimes you guys get me on different types of days. We all have days. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days. You just made a mistake when you sang that lyric. It's so perfect.

We're all a fucking mess. I feel like if you're not a fucking mess. Oh my God. I feel like if you're not a mess, like what are you doing with your life? Like you have to be a mess, right? Everyone's a mess. And we have, we only have so many days that we can record together too, so trying to figure out scheduling, sometimes we're like, we gotta make it happen. I still have an episode to post tonight and it's like 10. Ooh, sorry it's late guys, sorry.

Okay, let's do this. Let's do this one. I think about two left, we'll see how it goes. This one is 16 days old. It is titled, my male 27 family wants me to break up with my girlfriend, female 22, after how she responded to my brother's prank, male 22.

I know the title sounds bad, but I could honestly use some outside perspective since anyone else I asked could be biased towards the situation. I've been dating my girlfriend Lola for about two years now and overall things have been great. My brother Ian has always been pretty weird whenever she comes up or is around though. Ian and I are very close, talking to each other daily, but the conversation will usually

change gears right as I start talking about anything Lola related. I thought maybe he was jealous of the time I was spending with her or maybe a little crush on her. Still, whenever we'd get together, he'd make comments about our age gap, poke fun at me for simping, and joke about her sleep disorder. Ian's always enjoyed a good prank, either pranking or being pranked. He loves to laugh, and I genuinely believe that when he goes to prank people, he means it in a way to share the laughter.

When he's tried to pull little pranks on Lola though, he does things that he figured out triggers her disorder, like making sudden loud noises, jumping out to scare her, and one time I caught him before he was going to do the shaving cream sleep bit while she was taking a nap in the guest room. I warned him in more detail then that he shouldn't mess with her while she's sleeping, as interrupting her regulated cycles isn't good for her. And at the absolute best, she's the worst kind of cranky when she's woken up.

Ian looked like he understood, and I thought that was that. I threw a New Year's Eve party a few days ago and invited Ian and a bunch of mine and Lola's friends. Everyone was having a good time. My watch went off with the alarm that we set up for Lola to take a nap. She went off with a sleepy smile and I kept partying.

A while later, we all heard a scream, followed soon after by cussing and something breaking. I panicked as it was from my room where Lola was and I ran through nearly kicking the door down to find she shoved someone down and was yelling at them. I looked to see who it was and saw a spider mask that I unfortunately recognized as Ian's from years ago. Wow, what a asshole. I saw him scrambling to get away, but Lola only stopped when three of her friends pushed past me to pull her up and check her

before she ultimately passed out in their arms. Ian scrambled off of the floor and ripped the mask off, revealing the work she'd managed to do in the time it took us to react. He started bawling. What, like, she hit him? It sounds like scratches hit something. He started bawling, telling me she was insane and abusive,

that he only wanted to make sure she wasn't going to sleep through the ball drop. Oh my god. At this point, everyone started yelling. Ian looked terrified and kept repeating that she was crazy and that I shouldn't be with someone who could do this to her boyfriend's brother. Some of my guys were yelling that if she did it to him, she could do it to me. All of her friends were screaming about how he should know to leave a sleeping girl alone and how it was creepy. Ian ended up calling our mom to tell him that Lola hurt

him and she's furious. Lola's friends ended up carrying her out against my protest and my friends were nearly split down the middle. I remember standing there while everyone argued while the ball dropped, my mother calling me for the 10th time, and Lola finally texting me that she needs space to think. Since then, we've lightly texted. She's expressed that she can't shake her fear of what happened, but she still hasn't told me, from her side, what happened. Ian and my mom are trying to convince me to break up

with her and chastising me for not helping or standing up for my brother when he was being assaulted and demanding an apology for not playing my part as an older brother. Ian has FaceTimed a few other family members and now my aunt, who paid for both of our colleges and the house my mom and brother live in and did help me get my apartment, is taking the three hour drive to make sure her boys are okay, which is stressing me out even more. On one hand, I know family is family and I should do what I can to stand up for people who helped raise me and become the person I am. On the other hand, Lola is my girlfriend.

I adore her. I love her. I feel like I should be there to protect her. I don't want to push her boundaries, but not talking to her is a different kind of hurt. Ian is convinced that he was doing a well-intentioned prank and was wrongfully punished for wanting to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves. You are such a piece of shit. Wow.

I don't know if I believe that, but I've known Ian for 22 years. Growing up we were inseparable. I don't want to doubt him just because love may be blinding me. How do I approach the situation with Lola? How can I convince my family that Lola isn't a threat? She's honestly the most sweet and caring person. She just can't be woken up.

And a part of me feels like she was pushed to a breaking point. Yeah. I mean, the frustrating thing for me, obviously I'm not promoting violence, it sucks that, you know, he got hit. But anytime you're gonna wear a mask and wake someone up in the middle of the night,

that is terrifying. I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm already terrified. I have such bad night terrors that if somebody came like hovered over me with a motherfucking mask on, I would be so freaked out. And to just like turn this into her being this villain and crazy person is so frustrating to me. And the part two is that he told her or he told his brother, do not, and under any circumstance,

wake her up when she's sleeping. That is just a non-negotiable. I'm blown away by this. Also, if you just watched my struggle with the blanket right now, it was pathetic. I didn't even notice. I just don't, like, in what rational mind? I don't know.

This is anyone's first instinct. That's what I, I mean, like I said, for me it is because I already am terrified in the middle of the night. Actually, I probably went hit because I'm so terrified that I freeze. I like, if I hear a loud noise and I wake up in the middle of the night to it, I'm frozen.

I've actually thought about how I wouldn't be able to defend myself because I just get so, I get so freaked out. Get some pepper spray or something for your house. Dude, I need something, because I have such, if I'm ever sleeping at home alone, it's just like the worst feeling. No, the dryer today, because I'm by myself right now,

the dryer today was making the craziest fucking noises, and I literally, I was like, hello? I was about to jump out the door. I was like, I was so scared. Also, there's a new documentary on Netflix. It's called American Nightmare. By far one of the best documentaries and it's quick to get through, but it's so good.

Like the best one I've watched recently. And it's a story about this couple, Denise Huskins and Aaron Quinn. They were woken up in the middle of the night by a guy wearing a ski mask with a gun and a laser, like a laser pointer on it. And he had her tie him up and kidnapped her. Put him in the living room with a camera pointing on him

and he was like, if you try to contact the police, she will, something bad will happen to her. Do not contact the police. And after like a certain amount of time, like I think literally the next day, he goes to the police station. They literally thought it was him. They're like, from the jump, this is our guy.

It is the craziest. What the crazy is. I don't wanna spoil it for people that watch it. It's really good, I'll tell you after. But it is this crazy story. So like this shit happens in real life. Someone comes at me when I'm sleeping with a mask. I will try to fight.

And I know I could very well freeze because that is a response to fight, flight, freeze. Like it's, you never know what you're gonna get. It just, it, what makes me feel so angry about this story is that like I said, yeah, it would be ideal if he didn't get hurt. That would be very nice. He deserved to get punched, right? Fuck him.

But what, what is so frustrating to me is that he's villainizing her to everyone in his family. Like he's acting like such to everyone in his family. Like he's acting like such a little baby. He's acting like a victim and it's, he's manipulating the whole story. He's not even telling the truth. I just went to wake her up so she wouldn't miss the ball drop. Yeah, please.

And a Spider-Man? No. Why are you wearing a mask? Oh my God. He probably feels so stupid that his prank didn't go as planned. How was it supposed to go? Waking up someone that has a sleep disorder. It sounds like she has like narcolepsy or something.

That's what I'm saying too. Didn't it say that she passed out in her friend's arms? It sounds like she has a serious sleep disorder. Wow. And the fact that the family is just not questioning this is so frustrating to me. I mean, has he not ever pushed them to the edge? Do you don't even eat like with his pranks? Yeah. I mean, if he's ever pushed them to the edge? Do you know what I mean? Like with his pranks?

Yeah. I mean, if he's been doing this for however long. Seems like some time. I would assume that his family would be maybe understanding that sometimes he might push a little too far. The fact that they all think that she's this evil person now and that they're all asking their son to break up with her when he's been with her for two years. Also for OP, how did you type this out

and not see the pattern of your brother constantly disregarding what you say and continuously harassing your girlfriend? Yeah. Don't wake her up, she has a sleep disorder. Okay, he's been told now, still tries to wake her up. What are you not getting? So messed up.

Also it's like, what was he trying to do in there? Like it's it is creepy. It is creepy. Yeah, even yeah, even if it even if she did appreciate pranks, let's just say, what if she sleeps naked? It's inappropriate. Get the fuck out of there. You little twerp. It's interesting too. And I think there's definitely something going on with the brother where he feels threatened. Jealous of some type. Like if you're making jokes about, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I guess it's pretty normal to make jokes about age gap. Because the girlfriend is his age, the younger brother, right? They're both 22 and then the OP's 27. So I guess at 22 years old, he probably still sees his brother as like, that's a huge age gap for him

because when he was a freshman in high school, then his brother was a freshman in college. So maybe it's common for him to just make little jabs and that's not anything, but I don't know. It all just feels fishy. You know what this gives for me though? That he is like obsessed with his brother and doesn't want anyone else to be close.

So he's trying to break them up. Well, he's trying to get rid of her because he wants his brother, that's his brother. That's honestly something that I thought of too, except I was thinking the entire family. I'm like, what if the entire family was in on this and they knew that she would react that way, which is why they wanted him to do it and then the whole family could have this whole case? Yeah. I mean, that's a far-fetched thought, but you never know.

You never know. We've heard crazier things on here So the top comment you don't actually need any advice because if Lola has even an ounce of sense She's your ex Since this seems to have escaped your notice your brother is either the biggest asshole or in need of a good diagnosis Or both I wish Lola all the best in life May the idiots be far from her and may she never have a bad hair day. Awww. Queen Lola. Queen Lola. Next comment, heavy on the diagnosis part. What sane adult in their 20s is still behaving like a raging creep? Also not to take this too far in the other direction, but I

just saw a new statistic that came out and trigger warning for sexual assault here. But since the abortion ban has been passed in Texas, there has been 26,000 pregnancies that occurred from rape. Wow. So, take that into consideration when you're going to vote because your vote has major impacts on people's lives. That's so sad.

Yeah. So we have an update. Fuck. That's a long one, so we're getting juicy here. This won't be a full update as a lot has happened and I frankly don't have the time to get into everything with police and packing to deal with. Oh no, did he call the police on her? In short, while a lot of you advised I wait for Lola to tell me her side before I confront

my family, they all came over to my apartment yesterday morning while I was writing out a list of questions for them. I was supposed to go over the night before but I texted them saying I needed time and if we could meet later today. But they obviously didn't like that and showed up unannounced. The fighting started almost immediately and I was initially thrown off by them being there. But I matched energy and started yelling back at them for their predatory and enabling behavior of Ian and how I couldn't believe they'd side with him over this. Golden rainbow baby aside. My aunt got in my face about disrespect,

while my mom cried. Disrespect, really? And really. And brother cussed me out. But I pointed at my computer and yelled back at them that if they genuinely believed Lolo was the problem, then they were victim blaming idiots and I wanted nothing more to do with them.

Wait, did he say he pointed at the computer? Yeah. Did he show them the Reddit posts? Is that what he means? I think we're to do with them. Wait, did he say he pointed the computer? Yeah. Did he show them the Reddit posts? Is that what he means? I think we're getting there. Sorry. My mom kept crying, but I got my aunt's attention with the computer, and she got close to look at the screen.

I was going through comments to write up the questions, and after a minute, she turned back to us, really, to my brother, and said, quote, what is this? I explained Reddit and that I'd posted for help. Ian then stopped comforting mom and pushed past me to get to the computer, quote, what is this? I explained Reddit and that I'd posted for help. Ian then stopped comforting mom and pushed past me to get to the computer, asking what right I had sharing family business on the internet. Shut up, Ian.

Oh my God, I can't stand this kid. My aunt stopped him and asked, why didn't you tell us you were alone with her? You never told me she was sleeping. Classic. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. Like a switch, my mom almost immediately stopped loudly crying and looked over at my aunt confused. Ian started shaking his head and reiterating his version of the story, which, listening to it, was infuriatingly

off. I'd figured out that not only did he tell mom and our extended family a version of the story in which Lola was all too violent with him When he quote jumped from behind a door to give her a little spook But he left out the details that put him in any bad light. I started yelling again calling him a liar But he started crying and called me a liar who was just trying to lie for my girlfriend. Oh my god. At the sight of my brother crying, my mom pleaded with us to stop. My aunt scrolled more on the screen. It felt like both a minute and forever that we were yelling in each other's faces about

how the night went, how I felt he always used his tears to get his way, him yelling at me about how ungrateful I always was, etc. Unfortunately, I forgot where we were and didn't keep the volume down at all, and some time later there was a knock at the door. I didn't know who that could be. Some dumb part hoped it was Lola, though I knew it wasn't. It was two officers answering to a noise complaint from one of the neighbors. Feeling stupid, I plainly explained that no one was hurt and we were having a heated argument,

but that no one was in danger. I did let them look around and talk to my mom and brother, but my aunt spoke up when it looked like they were just going to give us a warning. Quote, Actually, I think it's good you're here. My nephew has something he'd like to report. What? She motioned to Ian, whose eyes looked between her and the officers quickly. My aunt still looked as angry as she had when she first arrived, but she was glaring at Ian. Quote,

You know, hypothetically, if someone touches or hits you without permission or justified reason, that's something you can and should report. Is there anything you'd want to say? There was silence, eyes moving to everyone around the room. My aunt didn't look encouraging in a report. It hit me that she was calling him out. I stared at him. His eyes were bulging.

He looked as panicked as the other night when he was trying to get away from Lola. One of the officers asked if everything was alright, and like clockwork, Ian started bawling his eyes out. My mom asked him what was wrong. I told her she had to stop babying him. He's been lying to you guys. My aunt asking him again if he had anything to report. Quote, you were up in arms against this girl this morning,

where'd all that fire go? Did she hit you or not? It took a while of us pushing him, but he finally admitted to the room that he didn't have anything to report because he, quote, didn't feel like she'd be rightly prosecuted. His next story sounded closer to the one I knew,

where he admitted to knowing Lola had gone to sleep and wanted to scare her so she'd wake up. I still don't believe his reason why he wanted her to wake up. That he put a mask on. I asked if he knew she had a phobia. He said he, quote, knew she found spiders creepy. And that no, there was no one else in the room with them. He couldn't get any of our friends to agree to the prank, so he did it himself.

Oh, wow. He said he started making sounds against the wall, the bed that was against the wall, and then got close to scream in her face. Wow. He said she woke up and surprised him because he thought the stress and panic would cause her to scream or hide,

but she went for his throat instead. Yeah! Oh! Oh! I've been clenching my fists this whole time. He described his beating to everyone in the room, some of which I saw had the officers look at each other, then back at him. Then that's when I pushed the door in.

The door wasn't locked, I just panicked and didn't think to use the door knob properly. I just threw my body at the door and the rest of his story is what I was there for. I'm sure if the police weren't there, I would have hit him. I know I would have. My mom started crying even more when he said she was sleeping, a fact that changed his entire story.

And my aunt chewed him out. Everyone scolded him for his stupidity and asshole behavior. While the officers explained that it sounded like if what he said was true, Lola acted in self-defense. And that not only was what he did juvenile, but one of the officers asked my mom's permission to question him more as his behavior was concerning and they wanted to make sure he wasn't a danger to himself or others. Yeah, surely.

My aunt and I told the cops he was 22 at the time and adult and they didn't need her permission. He looks a lot younger than he is. Upon hearing his age, one of the officers sat down. A lot younger than he is. Yeah. Upon hearing his age, one of the officers sat down with him and asked him to talk through his thought process. The other officer explained to my mom and aunt that Lola could press charges, give an Ian story. My aunt still looked pissed while my mom cried

about being confused over her poor baby. My mom literally looked at me and said she didn't understand how her baby could do this. I already knew I was deep in the bullshit of this family, but I realized that I couldn't grow in the earth that poisoned me. And I needed to get away if I was deep in the bullshit of this family, but I realized that I couldn't grow in the earth that poisoned me, and I needed to get away if I was actually going to get better and stay better.

My mom kept fussing with my aunt, and another uncle on the phone crying over the drama while I texted a friend of mine who lives across the city if I could stay with him. I was feeling overwhelmed with all of them, and I didn't wanna be within a few minutes of the source of the problem. I also wanted to give myself space to think

and understand with a clear head. I'm typing this between breaks of me packing. My aunt saw me in my room doing this, but she didn't stop me. She only asked me if I'd spoken to Lola about this, and I told her I haven't yet, but I had plans too later. She told me she was sorry for believing my brother without listening to any other account, and that she hopes Lola is okay.

Um, I, that one got me so heated. We're not done. Wow. Um, there's a little bit more just about what happens. Cops take statement, blah, blah, blah, leave, goes to friend's house, he'll be there. As far as Lola, yes, I did meet with her yesterday. As excited as I was to see her, I know that most of you were telling me she was going to break up with me, so I'd been preparing for that.

Whether I ended up single or not, I wanted to make sure she was okay above all. I know I don't deserve her as a girlfriend, and I'd much rather she not be with me if it meant she was safe. She brought a friend with her, and we all sat and talked. I showed them both the Reddit post and Lola has asked that I not share any more personal information about her until she feels ready herself. She's on Reddit for gaming and general scrolling

fairly often and let me know that if she came across the story without me having told her, she would have been pissed. She did, however, read a lot of the comments worried about her and wanted me to express to you all that while upset, hurt, and with mixed emotions, she is overall okay. She doesn't like that I posted about her without at least giving her her heads up, but after- It's a fake name, right?

Yeah. Which I love. A throwaway. But after I offered to take the post down, she only asked that I give her time and to leave her, her personal life, and opinions out of anything beyond what I've already said here until she says otherwise. In short, she did break up with me. And when I told her about the police telling us that she could press charges, her friend

laughed and told me that they were more than aware. She thanks everyone for their concern and told me she really helps more than aware. She thanks everyone for their concern and told me she really helps we both learn from this. So yeah, unless I'm forgetting something, that's all I have slash can give right now. My mom has been calling and texting me telling me that this whole ordeal has made Ian and her a wreck and she can't believe I'd let a girl do this to us.

What, after this? Jesus Christ, wow. I blocked my brother right after he left my apartment and I just blocked her. My aunt has let me know she'll talk to her, but I don't know how that's gonna go. I understand that this isn't what everyone wants, but none of this is anything I want either.

To everyone who has nothing but bad things to say about me, I get it, I'm an asshole. I appreciate any and all advice I've been given. I'm gonna take a break from not only the BS in my life, but this Reddit stuff too. I know I have a lot of growing to do, and I can't do that in this environment. Thank you again to everyone.

I kind of feel sad for him. I mean, he just lost everybody instantly. And he wasn't even, he was just trying to appease everybody and then ended up losing everyone. You know, it's really, that's, that's sad. But dude, this little Ian, oh my God, this character is slimy. It just makes me, I feel like he's actually a public safety concern. It's truly, truly.

This is not normal behavior. And the psychotic lies to the fact that you just completely, you didn't think that was gonna come out, that the brother wasn't gonna say, no. You know what I mean? That's insane. And I actually, I always try to not promote violence. So I made some comments saying, you know,

it would obviously be nice if he wasn't hit. I don't mean that. I'm actually glad he got hit. It feels good in my soul, knowing that that little fucker got punched. Let's go, Lauren. Pop off, Lauren. Keep it coming, Lauren.

Oh my God. I mean, it truly is self-defense. 100,000%! Any person responding however they were going to respond is justified. She, dude, he's lucky he shouldn't have a gun in the bedside table. That's when I was just about to say that. He's actually very, like, he's lucky.

This might have saved his life, this whole ordeal. Because now he knows, never, never wake somebody up. And the way he described it too, that he was making noises on the walls, and then he got right in front of her face and started screaming with a mask on. Are you out of your mind? Dude, it's actually really unhinged. Really, really unhinged behavior. I haven't been that heated in a story for a while. That really got me.

Yeah. I think it's crazy that the mom is still sticking to his side. I'm not that surprised because it seems like there's some enmeshment going on, especially with all of OP's comments, like I can't grow in like the earth or whatever that one was. That was like really well written. Um, and the other one where it's like, I can't grow in this environment. Like, no, you can't like your family is clearly very toxic and it just isn't working. Especially didn't the family blow up Lola too? Didn't they text her? and it's clearly very toxic and it just isn't working.

Especially, didn't the family blow up Lola too? Didn't they text her? I don't know. Maybe if so long, I'm already starting to blur stuff. But yeah, it's pretty bad, pretty bad. There's no other additional comments updating on OP's account, No updates on the account. So, okay. I don't know if anybody is has watched or is watching the Walter

boys, the Walter. Oh, it's on my list. Yeah. So I watched the whole thing. It's super cute. I love very cheesy, cute love shows. So I'm, I'm bought in. I need to watch it, is it good?

I loved it. I love stuff like that. Have you seen The Summer I Turned Pretty? It's that vibe completely. Okay. Except being in it. I stopped watching Summer I Turned Pretty towards the end because... Can I look sad?

I don't... Brian started getting really angry, my boyfriend Brian, he started getting really angry, my boyfriend Brian. He started getting really angry because he just felt like she was stringing both of them along and he stopped being a fan of Belly. She's so torn though. Yeah. I think I read the books so you get, I love books and you get like the internal monologue.

Who's team are you on Conrad or Jeremiah? This could make people hate me. I don't know if I should say it out loud. Who's team are you on? Who's team are you on? Conrad. Me too. Okay.

You come, I just like you got it. Like I do like the other one too. He's a cutie, but he's a sweetie, but there's just this fire between them. Something about Conrad. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, Brian was also very team jelly. Oh yeah, Jeremiah Belly.

I was like, for a second I was like, that's not the name line. Yeah, no, I'm a little slow today. Okay, moving along. One last one for us to kind of make this not end on such a fucked up note. Okay. It's a shorter one. It is 11 days old titled,

am I the asshole for telling my sister it's gold digging money she's borrowing from me. Just juicy, you're like, what is it about? What is it about? Not in the US. I, 33 female, have a sister, Sarah, 36 female. Sarah has always been good at studying and is our parents pride and joy.

She got into a very good university's engineering program on full scholarship and had a nice job offer upon graduation. We were all really proud of her. In comparison, I was a mediocre student. I got into a less prestigious university studying something Sarah said to our parents, quote, won't get me a good job.

But my parents helped me pay my tuition, nevertheless, though I had to work for spending money and other expenses. Through work, I met my now husband. He is from a family of generational wealth with their own business. We married when I graduated and my sister said she was very disappointed in me for being a gold digger and that we women should not rely on a man's money to get ahead in life. Sarah left her company at 30 to start her own business with her now husband.

The business was doing well until the pandemic. They struggled but managed to keep their business together until this year. There it is. Sarah confessed to her parents that she needs a large amount of money to keep her business afloat. My parents suggested she borrow from me.

Now I do have the amount of money Sarah needs. My husband heads his family company and gives me spending money every month in addition to a credit card he takes care of. I don't work. My days are spent looking after our two sons and for a few days a week keeping his mom company. She's a lovely lady who's still very active and enjoys taking me places. Every time we go out, she puts the bill. So I do have a lot of money saved. Sarah and her husband approached me in private a few days ago. They asked to borrow money from me, with a detailed plan on how to pay me back though,

with much lower interest than from a bank and a contract. Here's why I may be the asshole. I wrote them a check. And as I handed it to her, I looked her in the eyes and said, quote, You do realize you're borrowing my gold digging money, right? I like it. Sarah went red in the face

before she immediately got up and walked away. Her husband looked a little awkward, but finally took the check and mumbled his thanks and left. Later, my mom called me and said I was being cruel to Sarah in her hard time, that there was no need to humiliate my sister like that. No, it was necessary. I simply told my mom she never said anything

when Sarah called me a gold digger, so she has no say in the matter now. I still wonder if I'm the asshole. I mean, okay, whatever. It wasn't the nicest thing to do, but- Karma, I like it. I like it. I mean, you're pointing out she owes you an apology, It wasn't the nicest thing to do, but karma? I like it. I like it.

I mean, you're pointing out she owes you an apology, and you're helping her out without getting an apology. So you get to play around with her a little bit, my opinion. You could have said no and said, I didn't think you'd want my gold digging money. And then not even help her. You're helping her. Was it a snide comment as you handed the check?

Yeah, but you are doing check? Of course. Yeah. But you are doing them a massive, massive favor. Right. And what she said to you is really inappropriate. Yeah. Also, when you borrow money from someone, yes, they have a contract, but it's so much different than borrowing money from a bank or taking it out alone. Those banks take things as collateral.

They put liens on items you have to ensure. Like this is a risk for OP. I'm really surprised that the sister didn't preemptively say, I want to apologize for what I said. Exactly. That's my point is that, sure, it wasn't the sweetest comment, but I'm here for something like that because she's pointing out, you were really mean to me with the decision

that I made and now you're coming to ask me for help without acknowledging that you were really mean to me. And it, to me, I'm like, it's not so mean that it couldn't be looked at as playful. It, it all depends on the tone, right? The tone intact. Yeah. Like, hey, this is my gold digging money. Just remember that. Right. Like, it could have been lighter then.

And you know, this is my gold digging money. Remember that. That's true. But in that moment, if someone said that to me, I would either like laugh or get like a little choked up and be like, I'm so sorry. You make a good point. That was wrong of me to say.

I would apologize immediately in the moment. Yeah. Because you'd also, you'd at that point, remember what you said. Exactly. And then you would be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry I said that to you. Mm-hmm. You're, wow. I'm sorry.

Yeah. And then if she was offended, which she obviously was, then after that say, however, I would hope that you would bring it up to me in a different way because this makes me feel really awful. Mm-hmm. It would be more productive if we would have had a conversation

outside of this moment about the fact that I had hurt you and we could work through it. That would be my preference moving forward. In an ideal world, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know, right? As if I can do any of that shit.

I'm like, ah, confrontation's hard. It is hard. It's just, you know, it's uncomfortable, especially if you're the person in the wrong, but like, it is better for you, your life, your know, it's uncomfortable, especially if you're the person in the wrong, but like it is better for you, your life, your relationships, everyone's sanity. Like you apologize, like it's awkward, but it's easy, just keep doing it. I also just practice.

I just think it, to me that bothers me, if somebody wants to be a housewife, that's fine. If somebody wants to be, you know, stay at home mom, that's fine. If they marry somebody who has a lot of money, that's fine. Why are you shaming people? If you know that your sister is miserable, is repulsed by the guy, is really selling herself short kind of thing, and then that's where you're coming from. That's different.

But if your sister's genuinely happy, and then you're just deciding to shit on her life decisions because they're not what yours are, then maybe reel it in. Also, it sounds like she loves her husband. They have a great life, they've got multiple kids, and she worked. It wasn't like I graduated, they've got multiple kids. And she worked. It wasn't like I graduated college and I met my husband and then never worked.

She met him at work. It doesn't sound like she had any ill intentions. Also, it's your sister. So by saying that comment, you're kind of insinuating that her character is poor. And you don't know her. That's exactly what she was insinuating that her character is poor. Yeah. And you don't know her. That's exactly what she was insinuating. Like, come on.

This is rude. Like, there's other ways to like poke fun at it. Like, damn girl, like you lucked out marrying into money. Like, I don't know. Like, I think it's tacky either way. But like, you know what I mean? Versus being like, you're gold digger. Like, you're a gold digger.

Like, can we hear the quote one more time? What was the quote that she said her sister said? Run it back. Run it back, run it back. She said, she was very disappointed in me for being a gold digger. Yeah. And that we women should not rely on a man's money

to get ahead in life. Yeah, that is a very frustrating comment. That insinuates a lot about her. Yeah. Her character, disappointed in you. Oh, I think it's definitely not the correct context to tell someone you're disappointed in them. No. Top comment, not the asshole. It's not okay for you to rely on your husband's money,

but it's okay for your sister to rely on your money, which is both yours and your husband's. She doesn't like being reminded that she judged you for relying on a man, and now she's reliant on that same man. Yeah. She doesn't even have the excuse of being married to him. She's relying on another woman's man to stay afloat.

I don't care about how you chose to live. If you marry for love or money or both or neither. If you have a strong work ethic or drive to succeed, or if you want to coast along and relax, I do care about women judging each other for their choices, but expecting that their choices are held to a different standard because they picked the right path. Don't dish it if you can't take it. Love that comment. God damn.

Mic drop, baby. Mic drop. That was Love that comment. God damn. Mic drop baby. Mic drop. That was good. Boom, good episode. Yeah, you liked it. I think so. Okay, I thought I started off a little weak but then it got a little strong.

I'm kidding, okay. Your story was nuts. T-E-H-T subreddit popping off and I hope you're listening to this one. I know people put good ones in there. They love our sub. Yeah. I love it.

And we got some new moderators that are helping. It's gonna be good. But you guys about to take a gummy and then go across the street and get some snacks and then come back and record more stories for Patreon from this very theme that I have. If you want that good time, come over to Patreon. But other than that, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for being here and supporting us in our show. We're really excited. I can't

wait to see you all on tour! Holy shit, dude. We're meeting so many people. I know. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I was trying to swallow my gummy awkward pause, but I'm like, fuck, I'm just pumped. Yeah, I really can't wait.

There's so many incredible people that have reached out online. I just, it's gonna be so cool to meet you guys in person. It's gonna be amazing. But until next time, guys, until next time. Bye! Bye! Thanks for watching!